#10/10 I’m having a wonderful time
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OH MY GODDDDD ENTERPRISE PROVING GROUND WAS SOOOOO GOOD WHAT THE FUCKKKKK
#shran’s GAYASS SELF#WHY does he say half the shit he says to archer#ALSOOOO Reed and the andorian lieutenant?????? LOOOOVE THEM????#PLUS trip being cute as per usual 🥰 (he was separated from T’Pol for like a day and got sad 🥺❤️)#ANNDDDDD FINALLY we got to see MY LOVE HOSHI again#I swear she wasn’t in the last like 3 4 episodes before this :(((((#10/10 I’m having a wonderful time#great distraction from the fact I have a class test tomorrow :’)👍#star trek enterprise#trip tucker#commander shran#hoshi sato#malcolm reed
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good morning friendz and happy monday !! it’s the start to a brand new week where anything is possible !! i hope that today treats you kindly and remember that your blorbos love you very much !! (and so do i) 🥺🤍
#my bday is in 10 days what the heck x.x#it snuck up on me this year !!#i think it’s bc i’m not as excited ?? i dunno !! im looking forward to it but sigh#two people i love won’t be here to celebrate with me so im kinda >_< about it this time around#but WTVR !! we move !!!!!#i am going to hopefully post a lil tetsu fic today teehee#my sunshine my lover boy my everything#i have missed him dearly and need to shower him with affection !!!!!!!!! get loved tetsu !!!!!!!!#ok lemme stop yapping 😔#have a wonderful weeek ahead friendz#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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if art requests are still open then uhh can I get a banhammer adopting a biograft please? 👉👈

Couldn’t come up with a clever response for this one so enjoy!
#This is a very small doodle#Also my asks are still open for those wondering!#I’m currently stuck in an 9-10 hour carride rn so I have a ton of free time thank goodness#Anyways fun fact Neon is a Biograft oc of mine!#By technicality it’s named WALL-E but since that’s like. Post-damage Neon works fine enough for this!#Anyways enjoy ^^#art#artists on tumblr#phighting!#phighting fanart#digital art#phighting roblox#roblox phighting#phighting#phighting art#banhammer phighting#phighting biograft
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okay, I FINALLY finished touching up/rewriting one of the major scenes I wanted to redo in desecration and I’m so much happier with it now
#it’s the scene where jian yi and guan shan are talking after making cookies with zheng xi and zi qian#I’m wondering if I should post it bc 1) I really like it now and 2) I feel bad for not writing/posting anything lately lmao#but maybe it’d be better just to release all the edited/updated chapters at once after I’m completely done#but that also means I’ll have to wait until I post chapter 10 at the same time (I’m only 20% done with ch10 smh)#idk… I’ll think about it! I know some people would rather just wait until the full thing is done and I totally get that#fay talks
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at the risk of sounding like really entitled….
does anyone else have a fic that is their most popular, but you don’t want it to be, because you don’t think it deserves it, and you have better stuff, and while ofc you are grateful that people like something you wrote, it’s almost annoying that for some reason That one is the most popular. lmao
#for me it’s this like time travel shenanigans ml fic called Why Are You Like This#which I had a ton of fun writing and I like the fic#but I also tend to forget about it lol#and then I see that it’s my most popular one and I’m like ‘not but this isn’t even in my top 5 favorite fics I’ve written. why’ hdjsjs#it’s probably closer to the bottom of the top 10? and I do not have that many fics hahaha#I remember rooting so hard for tell me something I don’t know to surpass it in kudos#which it eventually DID and I was so happy#but then later WAYLS passed up tms again lol#and I was slightly annoyed to realize that WAYLS was my first to break 5k kudos#while tms still hasn’t#it’s very close tho I need like. 2 more#ok ok sorry this definitely sounds super entitled DHDKDK#I promise I am VERY grateful for every fic interaction!! every kudos or comment I’ve ever received!!#thank you thank you to anyone who has ever read my stuff💜#I just think this is kind of funny#cause I keep scratching my head wondering why that one is the top fic#I think ppl just rly enjoy time travel stuff?#also I did it as a gift for yunyin based on one of her comics so that probably boosted it haha#anyway
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this one’s mine lol
#this is vee speaking#i’ve actually been wondering if the general consensus rn is that hypmic music has fallen off lol#like i’m having the time of my life with the majority of rhyme anima’s songs but i see most people think they’re mid songs#(i thought most of s1 ra music was mid so s2 felt like an improvement in lots of areas)#and with the bp albums jp fandom had fun but they didn’t have the highest opinion of it actually#so like……….. i’m hoping whatever announcement we get with the 10 live rejuvenates the fandom bc i’ve been a little sad looking in lol#if it’s not hype after the announcements my next worry is that hypmic might be hitting a point where it’s overstaying its welcome#and that’s big fear tbh lol
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lol
#unexpected side effect of having had gay sex last night#this is the first thing that happened since we broke up that i actually want to tell T about#which is so silly like aw :( i ate pussy :( he loved eating pussy :( DJJFJDJFHFH#but also i didn’t realize i was worried about this but im pleased to report i am Confirmed Bisexual#like i had a rly wonderful time last night BUT i don’t feel like the world has changed and that it’s so much better you know?#i was thinking like ‘oh no maybe i’m not bi bc i don’t feel like that’ but no im just a lesbian#like my brain can’t fathom why i wouldn’t fuck someone if they’re hot and into me too#but i suppose some girls wouldn’t?? or wouldn’t have enjoyed it?? idk seems fake#but im also attracted to men!! and they them’s!!! wow sexuality is crazy#i’ve been identifying as bi for over 10 years but i think i finally believe myself#just *not a lesbian oops
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One more thing on the list of Reasons I’m Probably An Alien™️ (funny true facts about me I use to wind up small children to believe that I’m 1506 years old)
My eyes seem incredibly dark-adapted. Like I’ve known for years now that I’m hyper-sensitive to daylight, even if it’s cloudy I have to wear sunglasses during the day or the sun will trigger a migraine. My migraines are WAY more light sensitive than sound sensitive. I can’t even have a single charger led on in the other side of the apartment it feels like a dagger in my skull.
But I was just realizing the other day when I was trying to point out satellites to my friend that they could only see about 1 out of every 10 that I could see. And I thought back to high school how my best friend couldn’t really SEE the seven sisters constellation (she could see it with her more light-sensitive peripheral vision but when she looked directly at it, it would disappear) so I built her a telescope to see it with. But I’ve always seen the seven sisters as brightly as Orion or the Big Dipper.
I think my eyes just Perceive More Light than average.
#any time I’m outside I see about 10-15 satellites go by#I’ve talked to friends that have literally never seen one ever#and I was always like how? do you never look up?#but as it turns out a lot of them are very dim aparently#reasons I’m probably an alien#more like more proof I am descended from the ones who stayed up all night#watching the campsite for dangers#my delayed sleep phase plus this would make a really great early human watchman#I wonder if this is related to the neurodivergent adversion to The Big Light
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shock fucking horror when my manager at work mentioned supernatural. and jensen ackles. unprompted. threw me so far off axis i couldn’t spell for a couple of minutes
#i swear the more time we spend together the more we find out we’re the same person#i don’t have to wonder how my life would have turned out had i been born 10 years earlier bc she exists#anyways i’m still thinking abt it 2 hours later bc What The Fuck#✩.txt#🗡️
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What even is a voice lesson if I don’t cry atp
#light-hearted. I’m fine#I truly wish I understood why I cry uncontrollably in voice lessons#like wtf#it’s so humiliating#anyway it kind of makes sense this time#this opera is so fucking hard it’s quite literally making me rip my hair out#and I feel like such an idiot for not getting my part down perfectly#we’ve had it for so long I feel like I should be better#everyone else in it is also struggling and they’re all music majors and said it’s the hardest music they’ve ever worked on#which does make me feel a little less stupid bc like. this is just REALLY ridiculously hard music#but it’s still so frustrating#plus I have literally 10 hours of nonstop rehearsal today between opera and choir urgrhgrhthrhfhh#sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself#I love singing but fuck it makes me miserable like 90% of the time LOL#musicposting
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Sometimes after months and months of stressed induced illness progressively getting worse while feeling very alone and isolated, you’ve just got to read about two 18th century Swiss gays, one of which facing months and months of stress induced illness while NOT feeling very alone and isolated.
Thank god after tomorrow I’m off on study leave, I don’t think I can force myself through one more school day while progressively getting more and more out of it mentally and generally physically worse.
#clervalstein#some of my mates really encouraged me see a doctor lately#I’m starting to wonder if I should but at the same time#I haven’t seen a doctor since I was around 7 or 8 and I#frankly#do NOT have the balls to go to a doctor myself for the first time in almost 10 years#and especially don’t have the balls to actually have a conversation whining about myself#I’m also a wee bit irrationally afraid of being put in a vulnerable position with a diagnosis or if things are taken seriously#i tried to explain that to my friends but they kind of just seemed pissed and told me to stop whining if I wasn’t going to improve myself#i dont think I complain THAT often#or at least I really try not to#i dont really know what to do to be honest#I’m scared of losing control if I try to look for help#but I also don’t want to be a burden to my friends family and teachers for being ill#any advice would be genuinely appreciated#classic literature#gothic lit#goth lit#gothic literature#classic lit#frankenstein weekly#frankenstein
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I just played mouthwashing from learing abt it from this acc and holy hell thank you so much for being slightly obsessed aboit it for thag one TIME I CANT SPELL IM STILL PROCESSING IG HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO FRICKIN EMOTIONAL 😭
HOLY SHIT??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!! I actually funny enough have no played it myself, just watched a playthroughf (thank you Biker I don’t think your on tumblr but if you are and you see this hi hi hellooo :3), and. Man. Before I watched this my mental psyche was already screwed up from Neon Genesis Evangelion to the point where I was like “Wow! This can’t be *as* bad as NGE!” Even though it’s. Very much inspired off of it. And. Here we are. I severely underestimated how much that game would fuck me up /silly
it’s so beautiful though, the visuals were amazing and the story had my jaw absolutely TO THE FLOOR both positively and negatively. All around amazing game, just. Holy SHIT is it rough
#I’m sorry you had to play as Jimbamzled.#Anyways yeah- man it is WONDERFUL just horrifying in so many aspects#Jimmys decent really reminded me of Shinji’s except Jimmy is absolutely horrible in all ways and Shinji’s just a traumatized teenager#Something I found incredibly interesting about it is how Anya got so little screen time during jimmy’s spiral into madness#It really shows how little he viewed her as an actual person- I doubt he regrets what he did to her- he just upset because actions have#Consequences#Everything surrounding Daisuke had me fucked up too#My poor boy…..#anyways#im very glad you liked it- it’s a 20/10 game for sure#Cro chatter#mouthwashing#nge
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once a year, I get a desire to want to fall in love. What do I call this
#I really have a hard time understanding my sexuality because I haven’t had a crush in 10 years#and I’m 22#the last time I liked someone I was 11#so I don’t know how to navigate a crush as a kind of adult#do ppl even have crushes at this age idk#the last person I found truly attractive who was some person online or a character#was a woman who was way older than me#out of my league#and I’m almost positive was dating someone#most days idc abt being in love w/ someone’s#but sometimes I wonder how it feels#I really wish I had a solid grasp of my attraction to ppl but it’s so hard when I rarely experience it#and I coukd say I’m ace but although I relate to a lot of those feelings#deep down I think I’m not#I just don’t experience attraction a lot and idk why#I want to though.#wait does that make me ace?#ace tumblr pls help this clueless woman child out
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crying weeping. this book was phenomenal. 100/10 magnificent and soooooo intense and vast and searingly intimate and heartbreaking and swoops of joy and I just. Katherine x Zera 5ever I love them so much
(possible spoilers in the tags even though I redacted the most spoilery bits)
once I’m a bit more coherent I plan to write an actual legible review (a glowing one, of course!) but I had to scream about all my feelings for this book here 😭❤️
#personal#a swift and sudden exit#definitely one of the best books I’ve read this year and probably even broader than that#it is so utterly unique and unlike anything else I’ve ever read and is so incredible and I just#it was so gotdamn INTENSE at times and the whole last bit was a TIME but oh my god#they got their soft epilogue 😭😭 that they deserved 😭😭 they’re good people and they’ve suffered enough 😭😭#my heart went on such a wild ride with this one#to have a love that literally spans the decades.. ‘with you I remember everything’… ‘I’ve waited a hundred years for you to say that’…#I can’t 😭❤️❣️#they loved each other and gave each other a renewed desire not just to exist but to LIVE that they literally saved the world 😭😭#nico this was brilliant and spectacular and beautiful and magnificent and I’m so glad you wrote this book#it’s lovely and I am a changed woman after reading it. my heart. I’m so emotional and in awe of the journey they went on#my god. 10/10#this book was just. I don’t even know it was wonderful#and like you know me poster child of emetophobia!! if I can get past the mentions in this book and still be raving about the book. that spe#ks to how incredibly GOOD this book is. and it is. it’s so good. so good ♡#sci fi sapphic bis is such a fantastic genre and I’m so glad this book exists in it#also I’m not over posh (derogatory) to posh (in love) and formal (lying) to formal (trembling with the intensity of their love) ough#Katherine x Zera 5ever x2059953920019493929201#and the SILVER IN [redacted] IN THE FINAL CHAPTER IM WEEPING I LOVE THAT SO MUCH#as we all know I cannot relate to immortality idolization whatsoever and when [redacted] and she was JOYOUS about it#which was made all the more beautiful and poignant by her journey to GET THERE#I JUST. OUGH😭🥹#so beautiful#and to have all of this grandiosity high stakes end of the world post apocalyptic life and death. and to have it end on a picnic in [redact#d] with wine and a sunset. I just. I just. it’s so perfect and so right and I just.#i love this book so much#also jenifer prince your beautiful beautiful art is so perfect I adore the illustrations the cover and the Polaroids & bookmark 10/10 so lo#ely#and all plot important beats too 😭❤️
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it’s so wild, reading a beautifully crafted fanfic then clicking on the author’s ao3 profile and seeing it’s the only thing they’ve written for a specific fandom. even wilder when it’s the only thing they’ve written AT ALL.
#it’s even wilder still when said fic was written over a decade ago#like wow! that person is just out there doing life! they might not have logged into this account for 10+ years!#and yet i’m still here reading it and being impacted by it#it’s really cool#the internet is terrible and wonderful at the same time
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always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds
#the first time i treated my thyroid my endo was like ‘i havent had a patient who had this happen for a while so im due for one’ THANKS MAN#personal#im just waiting for it to hurry up and work. my health has PLUMMETED in the last week or so#im so sick and i can’t DO ANYTHING. including SLEEP. even if i was getting enough good sleep i was be exhausted but i’m not so.#the energy’s doing Great#and i’m so hungry all the time but also nauseous so all food is unappealing#genuinely have no idea how i made it through years 7-10 undiagnosed. no wonder i ended up with such a severe phobia of going to bed????????#i don’t have to worry about routine right now so it’s not as stressful (just horrible because i’m so tired) but i COULDNT SLEEP back then#im just relieved that this time it was found through a routine check rather than me getting a test because of symptoms#usually i test when my anxiety gets really bad in a specific way#but my anxiety isn’t bad this time. no panic attacks and also no migraines. those are all usually the worst to deal with#so comparatively this isn’t even a particularly bad episode?/relapse?/flare?#still more sick than i’ve been in……..years?#im not sure if covid was better or worse. but it was only really bad for a week#this’ll be worse overall because it’ll last a lot longer#hopefully only a month or two but that’s still a few months of my life that just vanish. cool!!!!!!!!!!!#and there wasn’t even a notable event to trigger it this time. first time was whooping cough and subsequent times have been things like—#starting uni and then the last 2 years of uni where i took 10 units in one year then overworked myself doing my thesis#im SLIGHTLY worried that maybe i’ve developed rheumatoid arthritis and that set it off because it’s also autoimmune#i should see my gp soon to get a general antibody test. my joint have been so bad it’s been hard to walk for quite a few months#idk man it all sucks. but for now at least i have my white blood cells (even if they’re literally the problem lmao)
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