#I JUST. OUGH😭🥹

[hopecomesbacktolife]

crying weeping. this book was phenomenal. 100/10 magnificent and soooooo intense and vast and searingly intimate and heartbreaking and swoops of joy and I just. Katherine x Zera 5ever I love them so much

(possible spoilers in the tags even though I redacted the most spoilery bits)

once I’m a bit more coherent I plan to write an actual legible review (a glowing one, of course!) but I had to scream about all my feelings for this book here 😭❤️

[lovinggreeniehours]

i forgot. how exhausting playlist making is. damn. sorry about the tags i have so much to say about playlist making lol

[hearthomelesbian]

for anyone who has been following project voltage (pokemiku), an interview with subaki matoba (planning and production leader) and wataru sasaki (miku's creator!) has been posted on famitsu!

[sunglassesmish]

looking at tommy in 8x01 makes me so happy because he’s just soooooo handsome and i missed him so much and i’m so happy he’s involved with chris’ birthday party and that eddie got him and buck to be an extra surprise for him…. ough i just love him a lot and i’m excited to see how he’s integrating with buck’s friends and family and the show more 🥹😭🫶

[harmoniouseclipse]

Woe fankids be upon ye

Doing a little series where I took some ship requests on my instagram to make them fankids, this one is for me tho (jeanlisa to kick it off whoo 🙌🏻) The lineup so far is Cytham, Kavetham, Lionfish (aka Freminet x Gaming aged up probably idk how old they are canonically), Cynonari, Jealuc, and Beiguang, and feel free to send me some other pairings you wanna see (as long as they are legal pls otherwise I will ignore it 👎)

I'm gonna ramble about some headcanons and lore for them under the cut, continue with caution bc I'm insane

These two are my brainrot rn, don't even joke lad. And I wanna tell yall their name meanings too bc I like them a lot 🥹 Zephra's means "west wind" derived from Greek, and it's the feminine version of Zephyr. Tyrian was a type of purple dye used by the Ancient Phoenicians, huge huge HUGE thanks to my pookie bear @miothefish for helping me out with his name!!! Also he has Lisa's butterfly earring and you can't see bc of the angle but Zephra has the rose that went in her hair holding her ponytail <3

I'm also making a massive family tree for the characters as a go along, and just the jeanlisa tree is taking up half of the canvas bc of the KoF and Sumeru characters since Cyno is their uncle and the rest of the gang are their honorary uncles 😭 I'll be posting that once the series is done/all the requests are finished/I run out of ships and otps I enjoy

Here's an alternative version with some more info on most of the characters I wanted to briefly mention in their relation to them; Tyrian likes calling Eula his aunt too even though she was never really considered one for them so it's kind of like her unofficial title she pretends to dislike but she loves it and dotes on Tyrian 🤭 She and Diluc also helped train Zephra with a claymore and Diluc kind of became a parental figure to her in her teen years after Lisa's passing 🥺 She also feels like she's outshined by Jean and that she's not smart or powerful enough to follow in Lisa's footsteps (something that Lisa wouldn't want anyways bc it led her to her death 😔) rip zephra she's just like me fr

And yeah some Kaeya angst bc he's still going thru it I fear, and Jean is single mombossing but she's worried for zephra which me too dawg, im afraid to say she might be cooked 😦 Zephra is also kind of like a weird mix of Lisa when she was her age and Jean, where overall she's well-mannered and kind but she can be competitive and feel the need to push herself too much and pull a few strings to get what she wants from time to time. Tyrian is a ray of sunshine tho, he has not yet witnessed the horrors 💔 I do think that Jean is also a lot easier on him than her mom was with her so that also helps. He's very shy tho and wants to stick with Zephra or Razor most of the time, and they both have some nasty tan lines from going out with Razor and Klee and Fischl a lot 😔 Cyno also freaking loves them and dotes on them and Tyrian is getting a TCG addiction because of it smh, Cyno is also one of Zephra's favorite people and when she's in Sumeru she stays with him and Alhaitham (bc in my universe they are married ough I love cytham)

And (I think?) Klee physically and mentally ages slower than humans so I think she'd be technically 9 or 10, and Zephra is left with babysitting duty most of the time if she's home on break or smth 😭 Klee really looks up to her tho

Also, I wrote Tyrian's last bullet point like he was super young when Lisa died, but I think he was around 7 so he actually remembers Lisa better than I intended it to sound, he was just younger than Zephra (who was 11 at the time) and just didn't have as much time with her as Zeph did, but his most fond memory of Lisa was reading with her and she probably taught them some potion-making skills too.

I think there will be some abyss angst in here too at some point, since I hc Lisa to be probably an Abyss Lector/Harold (I forget which is which) um so thinking that Zeph and Tyrian experiencing some not normal things happening and Jean doesn't know what to do since Lisa also didn't really know what that dog in her was until it was too late 😔 That's what Kaeya's for tho since he's like the heir of the abyss???? Go off king. Also some touchy ragbros angst bc Kaeya is scared for Zeph knowing how close she is with Luc and he doesn't want him to push her away because of her being from the abyss or smth (they mostly made up but it's still a fear in Kaeya's mind both for him and Jean's kids)

I think that's all I wanted to touch on for now?? Mainly just thinking about domestic fluff and angst all the time now 🥺 Zeph not being able to be open with Jean bc she feels like a disappointment but Jean would literally actually die for her and shes proud of her no matter what ough im going to lose my freak dawg guess who my favorite fankid is it's super hard ik

Send me asks or dms or whatever for more ship requests!!! I'm having so much fun with this dawg 🫶🏻

[risingscorchingsuns]

my love, when did you last allow yourself to weep? ❤️‍🔥

guys this has been in my wips for like a month and it is exclusively because of Kyojuro’s hair 😭😭 ive been playing around with new shading styles; this was one of those experiments!! im really proud of it :)

anyway im a little obsessed with the idea of kyojuro, strong, unstoppable, Pillar-of-the-Corps kyojuro, just absolutely crumbling into Hikaru because he’s tired. he’s tired and nobody’s ever told him it’s okay to rest before; he’s never had anyone to lean on but himself. so when hikaru tells him it’s okay, to let it out, that it’s okay to weep- he just falls apart, because he feels safe, because Hikaru is his home.

ough it’s 6am im having normal blorbo thoughts 🥹🔥🪲 i love them sm

[yuutaguro]

Your art makes me fall so hard for Kento and I was already super in love with him

Your art style is so fucking beautiful 🥹🥹😭 thank you for blessing us

ough its like y’all enjoy making me emotional 😭 i love drawing him so much and the fact y’all like it just motivates me to keep creating 💪

[xoxoemynn]

I see that you’re having a day so I’m here to say hi, I love you, and that I routinely think about how Where the Daylight Begins is the fic that changed my brain chemistry to the point that I started writing long comments because you packed so many beautiful things into each chapter and I just had to talk about it and tell you that I was having the best time reading it! Thank you for writing and sharing it along with all your other stories!! I hope you have a better rest of your day and the rest of the week is good to you 💗💗💗

CAROLINE I AM 😭😭😭😭😭.

Ugh that just means so much to me. One, just because that fic is so special to me and is probably the one I'm the most vulnerable about? So hearing it impacted you that strongly makes my heart swell. But two, and even more importantly, the fact that you are one of the ELITE commenters in this fandom, like I think there are so many of us whose eyes just well up the second we see you've left a comment and the fact that something I wrote inspired you to be the kind of person who leaves such long, gorgeous, heartfelt comments, I'm just 🥹

That's just what fandom's all about, right? Just people who love the show and its characters so much that they need to have more of it, and then people turning that love back at them, and all that love just grows bigger and more magical and it all builds upon itself and it just matters so much.

Ough, thank you so much, friend. I am cursing the fact we are connected only through screens because there's no way to capture how I saw this image and just started wailing and ugly crying (positive) for an eternity before I was able to even form a semi-coherent response. But this image kind of comes close?

Love you, hugging you, sending you wishes that your pillow always be cold and that there's always an extra $20 in your pocket and that your tummy lets you eat all the sweet treats you want and your head is never hurty and you get absolutely everything you could ever possibly want because that's what you deserve. 💕

[hopecomesbacktolife]

thought about the wounded sky for a few minutes and started crying over how much I love that book again ♡

[puckpocketed]

sharks to kings trade !!! your beloveds are sending penpals to each other in the form of players (-puckszone)

the Grundstrom for Burroughs Trade Vibe Check

HELLO beloved jane puckszone my pink scalloped hem my midnight candy gram my mist over still waters… thank you for stopping by i LOVE waking up to trade news in my inbox i LOVE that our california girls are having playdates . 🎶you can check out any time you like, but you can never leaaaveeee 🎶 <- type beat. about the California Swing; this big road trip every team gets subjected to multiple times each season on account of proximity, it used to be MISERABLE and FOUL because at one point we had 3 good teams !! i hope we get back to that one day 🥹🤲

Carl Grundstrom. CARL GRUNDOTHY …!!!!! I am genuinely VERY happy for him 😭💙 he was pushed out of the lineup during playoffs for some unfathomable reason (rat clenching fist of rage about it) . he’ll be getting more minutes on the Sharks GOD WILLING……. did you watch him at worlds? i did…!! i really liked his, idk what to call it, spirit??? like SORRY LAK but you may have fumbled a bad bitch… ough to see him benched and playing like 2 mins a night during playoffs… god he played one 25 second shift during one of those games and meanwhile they were double shifting our beautiful boy quinton byfield WHO WAS ILL BTW… i thought the kings needed grundy’s fighting spirit out there on the ice :(((

anyway adoption papers under the cut!!

Grundy for the Sharks moots:

We call him Grundy (me and you jane puckszone + the two skeletons and four moths on kingsblr) and i think i’ve seen Jim Hiller call him Grunny? grundy sounds better to me so i use that <3

He’s a solid 4th liner i mean this in the best most complimentary way possible… he does SO well … throw him out there to rest your first line and the puck might just do good things!!! my defensively responsible little guy…!! like. i love hard workers they are so dear to me <3

Low key underrated shooter? mostly in that i don’t know if i ever saw him pass loooool but yeah no he has more goals than assists this past season like IF the puck is on his stick he WILL shoot it godbless !!

Perhaps on the Sharks he moves up the depth chart 😭👍 middle-six winger anyone…praying for his success so bad you don’t even KNOW

HITTER!! this boy is big and throws hits! Plays the body when defending, plays the body when forechecking <3. i love you grundy and so does the mike grier Size/Skill/Will agenda. with this trade we are swapping hitter for hitter, but making room on our blue line (Shakir full time NHL arc???? PLEEK)

Grundy might genuinely be a great fit for the Sharks Culture Plan because i never saw a game where he wasn’t extremely invested and intense … i liked that about him vewwy much but that might just be me and my penchant for becoming attached to random depth players 🥹

More broadly, the pattern of picking up guys who need a new opportunity marches on… dellandrea and now grundstrom. we may not have uhhh affordable housing or more than 20 wins but the one thing sj does have in spades is ice time <3

i do wonder what all this does to our guys in the AHL who’ve been very hungry to break through but ough. alas. </3 perhaps that’s a conversation best had on a podcast and not by me, i can’t be objective here!!

on the LAK side of things:

Kyle Burroughs played way too many minutes on a bare bones Sharks defense please don’t look at his uuhhh -42 rating and take it seriously 😭

he might look like a silly guy from a 2010s sitcom but he is in fact a GOON!!! the fighting majors… lordy….. also i haven’t checked the stats recently but last time i did he was right up in the leaderboards for hits.

this move from LA does puzzle me!! Clarke and Spence should be getting more priority ice time next season. the Burroughs trade would push them out of the lineup unless Burroughs is getting put in the AHL or lak get rid of another defenseman.

perhaps an omen? Matt Roy leaving? or perhaps noted gorgeous leg weight Andreas Englund? <- i’m more inclined to this as it seems Burroughs and Englund would occupy the same role!!

endeared by Kyle Burroughs’ moustache deeply <3 him and j.middleton are sisters to me as per one of my posts…

anyway i hope he gets fewer minutes and less rough deployment on the kings jskdjdkgk he truly went THRU it this past season 😭🙏

in conclusion Cali Polycule please come back from the WAR i need this place to be hell on earth again CALIFORNIA SWEEP….!!!!

[daenystheedreamer]

I would love to hear why you hate regency Media!!

so first and foremost whatever makes people happy is beautiful and wonderful. if british guys in stiff collars gets you hot, all power to you. fluff fiction is fine, comfortable fiction is fine. im not gonna kill you from rubbing one out to a bodice ripper called like Seduced By The Duke. THAT BEING SAID

good fucking god none of you know what the regency period was like beyond austen and heyer 😭 SLAVERY WAS STILL LEGAL!! all the wealth was built off slavery and imperialism... girl where do you think the sugar was coming from!!! and where'd they get the tea from!! east india company INVENTED CAPITALISM and destroyed a continent 😭 oh they abolished slavery THEY COMPENSATED SLAVE OWNERS!!!

also landed gentry.... girl its in the name!! LANDLORDS!! you arent just lady of a manor. you are lady of a manor on the estate being leased to tenant (cough cough indentured) farmers.

i think so much regency media disregards the actual material reality of the british empire, not only abroad but within. even when the lower classes (eg serving staff) is mentioned its often treated as window dressing or worse as part of the package. dont get me started on cinderella shit AHHHH oh he fell in love with the maid the governess 🥺 ough we're analysing class and gender in england 🥺 NO YOU ARENT!!! AHHHH!!!

also regency media obfusscates how ugly the clothing was. it's very anachronistic. and much of the aesthetics are also based on neoclassicism and God Damn this post is too long already. SCREAM

there's fun stuff in the regency that gets ignored in favour of romanticising it... i LOVE beau brummel. special little fancy lad in his special clothing. calls the prince fat. gets exiled from high society. dies of syphilis in a french debt prison. THATS sexier to me than bridgerton. also pride and prejudice is like top 10 favourite novels OAT please no one yell at me 🥹

[chthonicgodling]

ITS AFTER MIDNIGHT THAT MEANS ITSSSSSSSSSS

a PAUSE from Elysium Drama!! part of me hates to break up my order of comic posting but lmao no no it’s worth it for our most special girl. Today, July 31st, is the birthday of Neona “Neo,” Goddess of Gentle Death, Maci and Tory’s firstborn daughter,

and she is EIGHTEEN TODAY?????? THIS IS INSAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

💜Though I am quite cavalier about remembering the birthdates of our real-time aging gaggle of Elysium kiddos, Neo was the first True Elysium’verse kiddo (Icy & the Quads were side characters and they don’t count) and so her birthday has always been extra special to me- I have drawn her a birthday pic every year since she was 10! ok ough im seepy and don’t feel like linking them all rn but they’re in her tag and i shall prob reblog some of them sporadically today

💜I poured all my gushing into Neo’s bday pic last year as last year was a special birthday of hers to me but the sentiments still remain. It’s so surreal having our OC’verse for this long with some of our offspring aging in real time (around a 5year skip circa 2012ish that fucks up our timeline but shshh) cause I really do feel like I just watched my kid grow up 😭😭 past a certain point the gods don’t age - Neo, like the rest of them, will probably stop formally counting year at around 20 and thus Neo’s design has truly reached her final form and I can chuck her into the pile of “ambiguous adults” lmao. lowkey bawling abt it 🥺 she was so small and curly just yesterday!

💜In canon she, like younger bro Raz who turned 12 last week, has ALSO had some good recent moments pertaining to the recent TaKi Fuego events - but that’s ALSO a spoiler and I have to get through the disappearance comics first. Current canon Neo will return!!

For now please enjoy!! Neo Neo Neo ily ilyyyyyy happy birthday to our baby who’s 6’5” and very intimidating and very much not a baby anymore 🥹🥹🥹AHHHHH

regularly scheduled Elysium Drama Updates - coming back up next!

[kadextra]

I’ve read quite a lot of orv over the past few weeks when I could, adding onto this long post as I went on so….. here we go!!

(warning major super ultra mega spoilers)

previously

-

Starting with the fight between dokja & joonghyuk during “a story that can’t be shared” episode.

At first after reading that battle I was really confused of what yjh’s intentions were, I’m gonna be honest. 😭 did he really want to kill dokja or not, or was it a plan he and sooyoung cooked up? that’s what it sounded like when they talked about it so??? why did he start smacking the fourth wall?? I had to read this part multiple times, and even look up interpretations on the internet that night to understand it. but I finally did! :3

dokja was just an incredibly unreliable narrator there, that’s why it was challenging to figure out yjh’s true motivations. dokja normally is unreliable so that’s normal, he thinks he understands people better than he actually does. and his mind was also in an even worse state after consuming that Eden good and evil fruit & practically losing it when he thought sooyoung died

joonghyuk never wanted to actually kill him- he had read the record of 1863rd turn, and the fight was all because he wanted to know the truth if dokja had given up on them & the 3rd round. if dokja did, then joonghyuk was prepared to give it up too (meaning: die. kdj didn’t even realize that was happening)

thankfully joonghyuk got the answer to the question he wanted, he didn’t die, he will live and reaffirmed himself as a “former regressor”. ough <3 he knocked dokja out and was attacking the fourth wall in hopes he could break through it and learn more of dokja’s thoughts.

very cool and emotional fight overall!!!!! reread it like 8 times I enjoyed figuring it out

-

And then I cried.

That whole goodbye conversation between dokja and sangah was beautiful…. so wistful about what things could have like been for all of them in another world…. and how even if things don’t go the way you expect, you have to live. at the end of the day everything is all about love… T_T I love her

then it came in with the double whammy of tears with THIS

HE WAS CRYING!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 AND IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY 😭😭😭😭😭

-

The kaizenix scenario starting had me giggling and incredibly entertained because PRINCE RICARDO is here!!!! literally sat there laughing in total disbelief at the sudden reincarnation fantasy story that came out of left field 😭 help my orv changed genres

laughter abruptly stops

wtf

the party members have already spent several years in this place before dokja got here and they all lost their egos after being weathered away by the march of time, hopelessly waiting for him? 🙂 heewon and hyunsung forgot each other??? that scene absolutely tore my heart out. pls do not separate them. SOOYOUNG WAS THERE FOR 50 YEARS! CRAZY! she wrote a novel too. ended it the same as twsa🥲

“It’d been better if I sacrificed myself instead” kim dokja you better shut up

but at least everything turned out well in the end for this arc so I am happy :,)

-

And the good and evil war started!! I watched the resident problem son go home and visit his parents- the literal gods of the underworld! (I love that this whole thing between these three has happened)

ofc dokja had his parents gossip about his love life there too

💀💀AKDJFKFLGLRNWKFKGKAJEDM I CANR BREATHE

but the reveal that it was Hades who discovered dokja from the very beginning and watched him together with Persephone. they really loved and wanted to adopt him all along didn’t they, best mom and dad for our prince 🥹 and even though dokja has hated the constellations, he cares about them and doesn’t want those two to disappear aughfhghghgh.

-

HEEWON UNLOCKING HER CHAOS JUDGE FORM AND MURDERING TONS OF DEMON KINGS AFTER LEE HYUNGSUNG’S SACRIFICE. “Sympathy? Utterly disgusting.” SHAKING. EDGE OF MY SEAT. I love you jung heewon 💖 she is so cool and my eyes are leaking 😭

after that whole mess finally the entire Kim Dokja’s Company has assembled together again including an unconscious lee hyunsung but at least he’s not dead like I fully believed for a hot minute <3

naturally though they can’t have good things and the apocalypse dragon revived anyways against their best efforts, because the seekers of the end are all a bunch of insane people. that thing is powerful enough to kill constellations with a flick of its tail 💀

mom and dad came to help <3 but I got really anxious reading because everybody by this point was exhausted or hurt too badly or to block the third wave.

I had no clue how they’d resolve this chaotic situation it was not looking good

it was looking so bad in fact,

KIM DOKJA. PULLING THIS AGAIN

WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU LIKE THIS SIR

it’s always in situations where I know he has to do it or literally everybody horribly dies but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it!!!!!! (that’s a lie I was super hyped) still. grabs him with my fists.

Going to ramble a bit here, but the way orv introduces new concepts is so natural and interesting. from the walls, to how stories can talk to you, now to the existence of “chaos” as the void/between of good & evil. it’s the first time I have been hearing this term explained in the story, yet it feels like it’s always been a fact, because it connects so well to what I already know. like of course the outer gods are beings originated from chaos, what else would they be? chaos in mythology was the origin state it makes total sense

being the demon king of salvation means to save people no matter what…… screams cries throws up

“That man is the world I wish to save” BLEW ME AWAY. such a hard line oh my goodness. I love you jung heewon 💖

and all the monologues from dokja in the void space between the indescribable distance and apocalypse dragon, slowly withering away but holding onto life because he wants to live 😭 he sacrificed himself, but it’s different this time because he asked to be saved. he took that action while putting full faith in his companions to do their best to save him. he wants to live. “will to live” even became a stigma 🥲 I can’t do this

-

Son Wukong my guy finally descended into the scenario and its as epic as I always hoped, hayoung was so smart for that. the monkey king himself helped fight off the fog clones and made a way for the trio go save dokja, so awesome. heewon boosting the other two forward, and sooyoung finally boosting joonghyuk.

joonghyuk following the fragments of dokja’s broken star in the pitch black darkness was an incredibly beautiful imagery for a scene, I saw it vividly it makes me want to draw it so bad. and the stuff yjh was desperately thinking during that got me teary eyed, of course. all I do while reading this story is get emotional damaged

but before yoo joonghyuk could reach dokja, someone else reached him first.

honestly felt my heart freeze over while reading that part.

but LETS GOOOOOOOOO FINALLY secretive plotter reveal!! I’ve been waiting for this for so long!!! It’s not future dokja, it’s future joonghyuk!!! :D I’d kinda suspected it to be him ever since the 1863rd round happened tbh so this feels great

I really enjoyed their fight, secretive plotter is insanely strong even with a time limit and was toying with joonghyuk, but joonghyuk never gave up and pulled out all his power to try and save dokja. in the end he was defeated but that was an amazing fight to see

sadly the group is without their beloved dokja again, not because he died this time but because he’s kidnapped 😔 man if it’s not one thing it’s something else, I feel so bad for them

-

and that is currently where I am! the most recent stuff I had read last night, just in time for me to see the webtoon adapt dkos death this morning. haha happy dkos death day 🎉🫡💥🎊🥲

I’m pondering a lot on the reveals in these chapters, some things still don’t feel fully answered to me so I’ll have more to say soon when I continue reading. VERY excited can’t wait to know more :D

[lumiereandcogsworth]

this is kinda vague cause I don’t have any specific question in mind but can you talk about lumiere and adam’s relationship? just ,, anything about them? cause lemme tell youuuuuuuu something 🫵🏻 I think about that fic where he performs a magic trick for little adam all the time

SCREAM!!! the fact that you think about that fic so much makes me SO HAPPY😭 i ADORE adam & lumi’s relationship so YES LET’S GET INTO IT BABEY!

for starters, i headcanon that they’re 11 years apart. i did this because dan stevens and ewan mcgregor are 11 years apart, lmao. but i also think it makes sense! so i didn’t feel like altering that.

they met when adam was 4, and lumiere was hired as a 15-year-old footman. i think they liked each other instantly. lumiere’s jovial/loud/playful personality perfectly filled in all the gaps of adam’s terrible shyness. queen renée liked him, (she was only like. 6-7 years older than him) and he reminded her of her own younger brothers, whom she dearly missed. this helped adam trust lumiere quicker, as lumiere ended up spending extra time with him.

like in the fic you’re referring to, lumiere quickly picked up on how regularly adam needed to be rescued. mrs. potts filled him in on the severity of the situation here, and how it’s been like this since he was born, so lumiere became pretty protective of adam. he’d try to distract him and pull him out of reality as much as he could. cogsworth was always on the fence about it, because on the one hand, he wants to follow the rules and obey the king’s orders that servants aren’t supposed to be friendly with the family. but on the other hand, he cared about little adam too, and he was glad, in THIS case, that lumiere was so good at being sneaky

a couple years later, plumette joined the crew as a young maid. lumi fell for her INSTANTLY, and they became besties very quickly. she, too, of course, felt so badly for the little prince. she also became trusted by queen renée (who was alwaaysss rooting for those two — she’d get their schedules rearranged so they could work together or get days off together, and even find secret rooms to allow them alone time. she’s the OG plumiere shipper😤)

ANYWAY, my point there is that lumi and plumette very much became the big brother & sister that adam very much needed. they both played with him as much as they could. they’d go for walks with him in the garden when his mother was occupied, they’d race boats across the pond. lumiere would give him piggy back rides around the castle and adam would actually laugh sometimes!! he was so,., not very expressive as a kid. especially not happy emotions. so it always melted their hearts when they could hear his precious little giggle🥹

i’ve mentioned this before i think, but for birthdays and christmas and such, queen renée would send lum and plum to paris to get gifts for adam, since she was often not permitted to leave without the king🙃

lumiere also taught adam how to play chess!!!!! he also taught him some “special moves” (cheating) that guarantee (he’s cheating) victory every time😎 (he taught him how to cheat because beating cogsworth is funny). but he still knows (and never forgets!!!) the basics!!

when the queen got sick… ough. everyone was just trying to take care of adam as much as they could. which wasn’t enough At All, but it was all they could do. and when she died? OUGHDKFJSKJ!!!!!!!! adam was 9 (and a half), lumiere was 20. everyone (except the king 🤬🔪) is very very very sad.

adam would have really really awful nightmares, following her death. he’d wake up screaming and sweating and panicking. he’d cry and just entirely be unable to calm down. lumiere soon learned about this and started sneaking to the west wing at night and sleeping in the hallway outside of his room. and then when he’d hear adam wake up, he’d come in and try to soothe him best he could. he’d climb onto the bed and sit beside him and hold him tight until the crying turned to whimpering. adam would mumble “where is she? where’s mama? i want mama” and lumiere would shush him gently and try to keep him calm and pet his hair, telling him to go back to sleep.

the king soon found out about this (he had too many RATS working for him😤) and forbade it, putting a guard outside adam’s room so no one was allowed in during the night. (and sometimes louis would force him to stay in there during the day too! if he was being particularly difficult (having autistic meltdowns or just in general Being An Autistic And Depressed Child) and no one could control him🙃)

anywaaayyyyyy this is the beginning of the many cracks and fractures that would come to their friendship. adam is sent to boarding school in the fall and he just gets more closed off, angry, sad, you name it! from here. it’s not a 180 flip though. the first few years when he comes home for breaks, he’s still drawn to lumi & plum and still leans on them. i have a sweet fic from when he was 11 that’s 🥹🤧 a precious moment amidst the terribleness. and it’s more lumi doing card tricks!! hehe!! he’s an entertainer, what can i say?🤩

by the time he’s a teenager though there’s basically nothing between them. his father beat him enough times to Stop Talking To Them that he just finally gave up trying. and when his father dies just before adam turned 16, it’s all a mess. adam’s completely cold with all of them. he’s been away most of the time the last 6 years because of school so when he does come back and Stay at the castle, he just really makes it his domain. he invites all the awful friends he’s made in the cities, he creates his corrupt and awful court, he indulges and drowns in his self-loathing. all that good stuff 🙃

and where does it leave lumiere? heartbroken with the rest of the gang. feeling like they failed him. which is so hard because it’s like!!! they did as much as they COULD. if they did any more, if they were less sneaky, less careful, they’d have lost their livelihoods! and they couldn’t risk losing their work OR leaving adam to truly fend for himself. so they settled for the brief moments they could each spend with him, desperately hoping it would be enough for him to turn out like his mother, instead of his father😭

but of course. we know how the story goes. during the curse it’s interesting because he’s just stuck with them. like there’s no other people he could distract himself with. he’s stuck with them!!! and he clearly still listens to them, at least to a degree. i really love the scene where he sees a place setting for belle at the table and he gets PISSED and yells “LUMIERE!!!!!!!!!” and goes to talk to him. and he’s all pissy and grumpy but he’s still talking to him!! and cogsworth!! and mrs. potts!! it’s just so complicated!!!! like it’s not like he’s FORGOTTEN how much they meant to him, it’s just that his mind and heart are so DEEPLY clouded by the trauma of growing up with his father and the anger that he still feels for him, and himself! because of him! AGHGHH!!!

but you know what scene kicks so much ass??? THE ADAM & LUMIERE HUG!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve already perfectly elaborated on it here, and idk if i’ll ever be able to elaborate on it again because it usually just makes me go GJSKFHWKDHWKDHSKSJ!!!!!!!!!!! but that hug is just. CRAZY. “HELLO OLD FRIEND” ??????? i’m gonna throw myself into the sun. adam calling lumiere his old friend is genuinely one of the reasons i fell so FREAKING hard for this film seven years ago. what a line. what a scene. THE IMPLICATIONS OF IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! adam’s cold heart is thawed and is full of LOVE and he HUGS HIS OLD FRIEND, THE ONE WHO WAS LIKE A BROTHER TO HIM, THE ONE WHO PLAYED WITH HIM AND WIPED HIS TEARS AND HELD HIM WHEN HE JUST WANTED THE WORLD TO SWALLOW HIM WHOLE. THATS HIS OLD FRIEND!!!! ADAM LOVES LUMIERE SO SO SO MUCH 😭😭😭

gosh… anyway, as a last, lovely, note. they of course become such best friends. after the curse, they have a couple deep talks that are so Good for them both, but especially adam. and adam learns how to confide in him, how to trust him again. they play billiards and pass the time! they play chess and adam “wins” and lumiere’s like hey dude i thought we AGREED we were only gonna use those moves on COGSWORTH!!! also lumiere becomes his valet for many years, so they’re just always chattin about one thing or another. (it’s usually court gossip though. lumiere being a servant has ALL THE TEA☕️).

they become fathers together, their children grow up together. heck! they become fathers-in-LAW together!! juliette ends up marrying lumiere & plumette’s eldest son, sebastian!!! :”) (and reecy & their younger child xavier are BEST FRIENDS😤 which is also VERY IMPORTANT‼️) their families are just forever intertwined. even before the marriage, they really are family. in a modern suburban au, i just KNOW they’d be neighbors having barbecues at each other’s houses all summer 🤧 anyway it’s just so beautiful man!! adam and lumiere just have such an important bond. they’ve Truly been through thick and thin. it’s such a sweet love, to have a friend as wonderful as they have in each other 🥹

[ell-arts]

OHHhhhhHHhH OKAY before i go insane and off my rocker (when am i Not tbh, youve known me for like 7 years this is run of the mill shit for me) , i Finally got around to reading the newest chapters of call me cyli after being swamped with preparing for my bday party and ged exams and . <- ABOUT TO EXPLODE

ITS SO GOOD I LOVE YOUR WRITING TRHE WAY YOUR WORDS CARRY THE WEIGHT OF EVERYONE'S EMOTIONS AAAAAA <33333 pac trying to stick up for cyli and spiral and THE FIGHT IN THE CAFETERIA AND AGRHSGGJSJGHSKAHBFN THERE'S SO MUCH !! I LOVE THIS FIC RAAAAH !!!!!! AND WE'RE FINALLY GETTING INTO CANON TERRITORY IM SO EXCITED I CANR BREATHE ihave to calm down . im Normal . <- EXCITED 2 SEE HOW YOU TACKLE PAC'S PARENTS BEING MENTIONED (I AM DERANGED)

im sorry if this is like. incoherent but when have i Ever said Anything that makes sense. YOURE DOING A HGOOD JOBIM LIKE. oUGH . also the blue m&m thing made me giggle and i wish cyli jammed her pencil into skeebo's hand 👍 mr electric SKIN HIM HIS FLESH IS NOT WORTH THE MEAT IT INHABITS (skeebo makes me so angry still. he makes me mad just reading about him. 1000/10 fanfic i'd read it again if i didnt black out at Every moment where skeebo is being a piece of shit due to my Blind Rage . im eating this like its plastic . okay have an awesome day goobye (explodes

STOOOOOOOOOPPPPP THIS IS TOO SWEET 😭🥹🥹

Don't worry about being coherent, I LOVE it when ppl write essays like this!! Trust me you can't go wrong by sending feedback of this enthusiasm to a fanfic writer XD It tells me that I'm on the right track with what I'm going for with the fic, haha.

Thank you so much for checking out Call Me Cyli!!

[taiyami]

hi, tai!!! 💗 for the character ask game: 2, 4, 9, 12, 23, and 25 for our beloved kyōjurō rengoku? 👀

AHHGHH A WHOLE ASSORTMENT FOR OUR GOLDEN BOY ! ^_^

2. Favorite Canon thing about him?

I truly just adore how fucking weird he is and yet is still an extremely respected person by the entirety of his colleagues. I like that he isn't this perfect mentor figure by any means; he's a bit rude, blunt and often doesn't give the best advice. But he's just such a genuine person with a strong moral compass that his passion is infectious!!

4. If you could put him in any other media what would it be?

MAN VS FOOD !!!!!!!!!!!! I need to see him eat that ginormous sasquatch burger that's like 30 pounds. I bet he could do it in three bites too.

9. Could you be room mates with him?

I think I could!! We are extremely similar, though I know our grocery bill would be so high 😭 I would be eating WELL.

12. A headcanon you have?

So we know he's particularly interested in sumo wrestling so I like to think he's also really into Theater productions? Or like street performances 🥹 I think he's just a very big fan of festivals and big celebrations and events like that because he grew up in such a quiet home.

23. Favorite picture!!

So nice you see him twice .. <3

25. First impression of him vs now?

"Haha! He's just like me fr!!!" -> "Ough . This has a little kick to it . Spicey..."

I will admit the fandom and, for lack of better terms, sensationalism of Rengoku in 2020 on other major platforms kind of made me step back from his character? I found he just moulded into something that was pretty removed from his original character so now my image of him is JUST SLIGHTLY tainted. But I try to keep in mind that whatever Rengoku means to me personally is separated from how the Fandom sees him and that's okay!

Character Asks!!