#i tried to explain that to my friends but they kind of just seemed pissed and told me to stop whining if I wasn’t going to improve myself

[can-of-w0rmz]

Sometimes after months and months of stressed induced illness progressively getting worse while feeling very alone and isolated, you’ve just got to read about two 18th century Swiss gays, one of which facing months and months of stress induced illness while NOT feeling very alone and isolated.

Thank god after tomorrow I’m off on study leave, I don’t think I can force myself through one more school day while progressively getting more and more out of it mentally and generally physically worse.

[riririnnnn]

More random things in Blue Lock I find endearing:

-> Brothers

LOOK AT THE HAND PLACEMENT OF SAE. JUST LOOK AT IT. LOOK. AT. IT. OHMYGOD I'M GONNA CRY.

Oh god.

It's tough to explain, but to see him supporting Rin's arm instead of the trophy makes me want to punch a wall. It feels like, "Yes, we won this together, Rin." OHMYGOD! AAAAAAAA!!!

-> Hushed wisher

I really don't think we have ever seen Noa coaching any player other than Isagi, so him silently rooting for Kaiser caught me off guard real hard. Of course, it doesn't seem like much of a big deal, but to see that Noa hadn't completely taken his eyes off of Kaiser and that he hadn't completely pulled away his trust from Kaiser hits a certain type of emotion in my heart.

Considering that Kaiser wants to win over Noa too—a fact Noa, probably, knows—makes everything feel a bit.. bittersweet.

-> CHEERS!!

The above panel happened after Shidou scored a goal against Barcha and honestly—

CUTE!!!

I mean, BM was next in line to face PxG—it's probably the reason why they were watching the match live—and they were going to face Shidou which makes them rivals, and yet, when he does something cool, they all go, "WOOHOO! THAT'S COOL!!" instead of worrying or being jealous.

It's called sportsmanship, I guess?

It's sweet.

-> BM's Dad

There's another translation, but I find the above one way better because it's so... soft.

I mean, Noa has always been shown as this cold, emotionless person who inhales and exhales logic, so it was sweet when he tried to reassure Kiyora—when he showed some kind of compassion. It was like, "Hey, Kiddo! It's okay, don't worry, you'll play the next time! Cheer up!"

It also makes it sound like even if Kiyora were not to have the required stats for the next match, then Noa was prepared to against his own ideals and let Kiyora play regardless.

Sweet!

-> Protective

When Nagi got pissed off because Barou's violent behaviour nearly hurt Reo. Like, just look at that stance, he was ready to beat the crap out of Barou if Reo wouldn't have stopped him.

No matter what label you give Nagi and Reo—lovers or friends—you can't deny that they are probably the best thing that happened to eachother.

I really want what they have.

-> "It's their love language"

They barely knew eachother and yet when these two started to brawl, they all intervened immediately—Nanase and Isagi are literally hanging onto them with their dear life. It's tough to explain, but I found the gesture really sweet, like, they didn't know them! They could bash open their skulls—it wouldn't affect them at all and yet, they are trying to stop them!

Adorbs!!

Also, Chigiri was on the other side of the field, I guess. He came running!!! So sweet!

-> First friend

The way Bachira blindly believed in Isagi. Like, he had full trust that Isagi will come and play with him. He never doubted him at all! The healthiest duo of Blue Lock!

Also, look at his duck lips. Cutie.

-> "Welcome to the academy!"

Anybody who has shifted to a completely new place full of completely new people knows how good and relieving it feels when others make an effort to help you feel welcomed.

No idea if those three extra characters got selected in the tryouts or not, but they were nice. If Kaiser would've met them earlier, then they all would've surely been good buddies.

-> Beloved Ace

The way everyone instantly got mad at Shidou when he hurt Sendou—sweet! Also, the fact that they all refused to play if Sendou didn't play makes me giggle.

I adore bonds like these so much.

.

.

.

Pt: 1, 2, 3.

Probably the last of this series.

[starwrighter]

1/?? Halloween prompt

I’ve got brain rot for creepy Deadserious content but only when it’s only seen as creepy by outsiders. (I know I’m writing a fic with a similar plot but it’s different I swear! Also my grammar is shit because I’m getting dental work done tomorrow and I’m nervous) Tw for stalker behavior

So Damian has a crush on Danny and immediately goes about acting on these feelings much to onlookers horror. Danny is swooning because someone made the effort to do a background check on him. Danny thinks Damian doing this is really smart because, he could be a serial killer for ancients sake why would you risk that? Others say this is a horrible invasion of privacy.

Damian not realizing he's being creepy (being liminal and being an ex assassin, turned vigilante wasn't doing him any favors) Plus Danny also not realizing it's creepy unless you relay Damian behavior towards him with different names.

Damian's just being a textbook stalker, breaking into his house and shit and Danny's all like "awwww he likes me" because this is just normal ghostly courting rituals! His dormroom isn't his lair so Damian breaking in doesn't feel like he's violating any sort of boundary. To him it's like a friend showing up at the coffee shop you work at to say hi.

Danny's had stalkers before, he's very cautious of his behavior to insure he never stalked anyone. Being stalked back in Amity was a horrific experience for him. From cameras in the locker rooms at school (wes) to cameras in his bathroom and bedroom at home (Vlad)! He couldn't feel safe anywhere! To Danny Damian's not a stalker, he's his protector. Nobody seems to understand when he tries to explain this though they just look at him like he's lost his mind.

Damian’s not subtle at all and Danny’s kicking his feet like a lovesick school girl who found out her crush likes her back. Overall it’s super cute from their points of view Damian’s planning an official confession to ask him on a date while Danny’s trying to figure out if Damian actually likes him or is just being nice. They’re just doing normal couple things but people just jump and attack Damian’s character while painting Danny as some kind of brainwashed victim.

The thing is… Danny’s become very good at appearing normal while Damian refuses to pretend to be a bumbling idiot like the rest of his family. He also refuses to dull down his personality for anything other than secret identity reasons. For these reasons since their relationship had become public, Damian had been painted by the media as a creepy possessive boyfriend who threatened Danny into a relationship. This infuriates Danny, the only one doing any kind of possession is him god damn it!

They want to be around each other all the time and that’s normal behavior for ghost/liminal couples! They live much longer than regular humans do they’re like elves, their perceptions of time are messed up. They still spend time apart they still have hobbies and an independent life, people just get hung up on the amount of time they do spend together. It’s normal behavior for them to know mountains of information about each others interests to the point they almost know more than each other. It’s normal to know each other’s schedules and background check the people they associate with. (The realms are very dangerous with shapeshifters and manipulators like spectra and Desiree who can ruin your afterlife in a matter of minutes) Their relationship is creepy to those who haven’t gone to extremes to survive.

Damian has taken to ignoring the reputation press has given him. He’s dealt with paparazzi and tabloids before it’s just frustrating to deal with. It’s when people start accusing him of hurting his beloved that really pisses him off.

(Bonus if Danny’s the one frothing at the mouth to maul a reporter while they try to paint him as a poor innocent victim)

I’mma end the prompt with this so everyone understands why Damian specifically being targeted by press. The more liminal you are the more creepy/uncanny you appear to other people and the more effort you have to put in to hide it. It’s why the bats are more believed to be Eldritch creatures than actual humans in suits. Surprisingly becoming a Halfa completely changes this effect to do the complete opposite. It’s easier for the human brain to look at a halfa and think “Innocent or normal,” Vlad and Danny were morons when it came to actually hiding their identity’s it was only their statuses as halfa’s that prevented people from comprehending them being anything other than normal.

In short Damian’s too dead to be perceived as normal while Danny’s too alive to be perceived as anything other than normal.

[natashashill]

want me, want me not

pairing: agatha harkness x rio vidal x fem!reader

word count: 2k

warnings: none(?) minor angst, happy ending

a/n: i completely changed some timelines of AAA but hopefully this still works?

summary: based off this req

You suddenly shoot up onto a dusty path trying to get the taste of dirt off your mouth, when you hear a familiar voice call out your name.

Billy floods your vision as he goes to greet you in a hug, while you still process your new surroundings.

“Billy, hi! I’m so glad you’re here but where am I?”

He animatedly tells you about the Witch’s Road and introduces you to the rest of the coven: Jen, Alice, Lilia, Agatha, and Rio.

Lilia struck up a conversation with you and you told her all about yourself and how you knew Billy. She seemed very kind and you were glad to have someone in your corner.

Jen was rather cautious of you, and while she started being polite to you, you could tell she wasn’t willing to talk to you very much. She carried a harsh energy and you were a little nervous to see what would happen if you got on her bad side.

Alice got along quite well with you. She was easy to talk to, and you found yourself engrossed in her stories. You hoped you could connect with her outside this road or whatever you were in.

Agatha was something you couldn’t explain. You were captured by her from the moment Billy introduced you to her, but she wouldn’t even give you the time of day.

That leads you to Rio, who was rather odd. She didn’t outwardly show any displeasure but it was almost as if she didn’t want you around. You weren’t sure what was going on but you decided you weren’t going to pry.

When you were all gathered around the fire sharing stories, you sat next to Lilia while you waited for Agatha to be done checking on Billy. You wanted to go see him but she wouldn’t let anyone come near him while he slept. It seems you kept staring at them because when you momentarily glanced back to the group, Rio caught your graze. You quickly turned away, hiding the small blush appearing on your cheeks.

Rio walked away after that, and you could only assume she was talking with Agatha. You focused your energy back to the group enjoying some of the banter between Jen and Alice. You let yourself fall into the conversation, sharing some stories of what you and Billy have gotten into outside of school. Everything was going great until you could overhear loud murmuring between Agatha and Rio.

You use this opportunity as the group wonders what’s going on to check up on Billy. You just barely reach him, when you see Agatha storming over to you, with Rio grinning as she trails behind.

“What are you doing?”

“I was just checking up on him. I wanted to know how he was.”

Agatha scoffs, “He’d be fine if he gets some rest. It would be best not to disturb him, go back to the group.”

You try not to show how much her words hurt you and start to walk towards the group when you turn back around.

“He was my friend first you know. What do you even know about him. You don’t have to be so rude either, I’ve been nothing but nice to you since I arrived here, and it’s not like I asked to be here.”

With that, you return back to the group sitting next to Lilia. You start to laugh over some of Jen’s stories about her brand, completely unaware to what’s going on between Agatha and Rio.

“You like her, admit it.”

“I do not. Stop getting jealous Rio. She’s just someone who happened to show up. Why would I be interested.

“Really? Just someone? You haven’t taken your eyes off her since she’s arrived and it’s not like she’s subtle about her interest in you either.”

Agatha scoffs and tries to escape this conversation, but Rio grabs her wrist. “She’s your type Agatha. Admit it to yourself, even if you won’t admit it to me.”

“So what about you then? It’s just me that has some sappy feelings for Y/N. Don’t act like you’re above this situation.”

“I don’t know but it’s pissing me off. I hate that we can’t just avoid this situation and never see her but at the same time, I don’t want to see Y/N getting hurt, by us or anyone else.”

Agatha, being Agatha scoffs, “Maybe you have some hidden feelings for her. Why don’t you go run up to her and spill your guts.”

Rio only rolls her eyes and watches Agatha return to the group. She takes a breather for herself and ponders on what Agatha said.

Does she have feelings for you?

Agatha’s words cut deeper than they should have. You were just some pesky girl who shouldn’t be here. Sure, you were pretty but that doesn’t mean anything. She should be annoyed you’re here, right?

She rejoins the group as well to some conversation about scars when she hears Agatha talk about hers. She laughs at the recollection.

“I have a scar,” Rio declares.

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“A long time ago, I loved someone and I had to do something I did not want to do even though it was my job -” Agatha turns away at the pointed look sent at her “and it hurt them. She is my scar.”

You get up and walk away at this point. Your eyes brimming with tears at their declaration. It’s obvious they have feelings for each other and you can’t ignore the fact that of course they like each other, and not you. They couldn’t even spare you a second glance from the moment you got here.

“What’s got you all worked up, hon?”

You turn around to find Agatha walking up to you, her face masked with something you can’t figure out. You quickly wipe off your tears, not looking for another reason to get ridiculed.

“Nothing, I’m just worried about Billy.”

She scoffs at that and even you knew that it was a pathetic lie. You wince before turning around to face her.

“You were just so concerned at the particular second Rio declares that she has feelings for me? Quite a friend you are. Interesting though, because Rio pointed out to me how you might have a slight crush. And-”

Crap. Does she know? Is she here to tell you off about your crush? You need to think of something fast.

“Look, I don’t know what she said but that’s not true. Why would I like someone who’s been a bitch to me. I’m sorry if it’s caused problems between you two, but you can go run along and rejoin as a happy couple-”

“Do not interrupt me again. As I was saying, I think you would like to know that me and Rio haven’t been able to get you off our minds.”

Your jaw drops at that.

They like you?

You stare dumbly at her, trying to figure out if she’s pranking you. You see her start to approach you and soon she’s invading all your senses.

Her face is just inches from you, the unmistakable smell of her perfume enters through your nostrils and short circuits your brain, and her hand comes up to rest on your jaw.

You’re all but staring at her when a familiar voice calls out. You let out a huff and Agatha shoots you a small smile before turning around. Yet, her hand never leaves your face.

“Hey guys! What are you doing?”

Completely forgetting about what’s going on, you run over to Billy. You’ve been worried about him, even if a certain duo of brunettes were driving you crazy. When you turn back to look at Agatha, she’s already gone and you resume with a small frown on your face. You return with Billy and see her involved with Rio, paying absolutely no mind to your return.

The next trial starts and you’re starting to think whatever happened in those woods was just a fleeting moment. You’re practically given the cold shoulder during this trial, and you can’t help but feel hurt by it. The trial is clearly centered around you, and yet somehow you can’t seem to be given any attention by them. Thankfully, the coven manages to solve everything before the time runs out, but it doesn’t change how you feel. You exit first through the tunnel, not willing to spend any additional time around them. Rio and Agatha exchange concerned glances and make a note to check up on you.

You sit against a tree, completely out of breath from your last trial. Billy comes to check up on you, but you play it off as fatigue and he manages to get the rest of the group to give you space.

You let your emotions stew, feeling nothing but bitterness at the two women who had caught your attention.

Why couldn’t you be what they wanted?

Simultaneously, Agatha was rambling to Rio about you. You were a precious, sweet girl. She couldn’t possibly go after you right? Would they be okay with that or is this just some desperate attempt to fill their void. She shouldn’t have gotten that close to you. It only made her desire for you worse and now you know the truth about how they feel. She can’t escape this anymore and you know too much. She should hate you for how you get under her skin but all she wants to do is keep you close to her.

Rio cuts off Agatha’s blabber, having enough with the overthinking. She sends Agatha a small smile, while taking her hand.

“You’re clearly thinking about her, and so have I. Maybe it’s time to take a chance on her, even if it would be easier to hate her.”

Why couldn’t this just be easier for her? That’s all Agatha thinks before storming over to you, frustrated with your isolation.

“What are you doing here by yourself? It’s safer as a group. What if the Salem Seven suddenly appeared? You would have no chance against them alone.”

You frowned at her but made no effort to respond. Of course the first thing she says to you would be a lecture. You can’t take it with her hot and cold efforts. You just want to get off this road.

“Maybe she wants someone to give her some attention Agatha. Oh don’t look at me like that sweetheart, I saw you stare at us throughout the trial like we’ve abandoned from you, I know that look. You want us to give you attention? We’re here. “

You stare blankly at Rio as she manages to capture your thoughts exactly. Had she known from the start? You refuse to let your guard down around them, too hurt to let them in that easily.

Agatha stares between Rio and you, trying to figure out if what Rio had said held a semblance of truth.

Before she can say anything, you speak first.

“So you came here to rub it in then? You came to expose my silly feelings and go back to your lives revolving around each other, is that it? I don’t need that, it’s one thing to not like me, but you don’t need to jerk me around.

Agatha gently interjects, “Like I said before-”

“I don’t believe you. You say that you like me but you don’t show it. It’s always just you two in your own little bubble and I barely exist to you guys outside our talks. How do I know that you aren’t just playing around with me?”

Agatha uses this opportunity to press her lips on yours, shutting you up while trying to show her feelings through this kiss.

“I’m sorry you felt this way. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt, I- we just weren’t sure. We didn’t want to get involved in something we weren’t sure about what to do. So we did what we did best, and tried to ice you out. That won’t happen again. I don’t ever want to hurt you, and I- we will do better for you.”

Rio joins her and presses a chaste kiss to your lips before presenting a flower for you. You softly take it while smiling and allow yourself to get caught between them.

notes: nonnie i hope this lives up to your expectations, it took me quite a few tries to make this

[spaceshipellie]

we were never just friends

ellie williams x reader

part four (part one, part two, part three)

summary: modern!ellie, both in their mid twenties. ellie and reader have been friends for years, their friendship has always been somewhat flirty but nothing has ever happened. not yet anyway…

warnings: angst, fluff, smut, eating out and fingering (r receiving), scissoring, ellie and reader being saps, minors and ageless blogs dni

author’s note: this is the last part 😪 i’ve had so much fun writing this and all of the lovely comments and reblogs have made me giddy tbh i really appreciate them 🩷

word count: 3.6k

“i slept with ellie.”

there was silence after you spoke. you could hear a pin drop. you couldn’t even detect an emotion on kate’s face, she just stared blankly at you.

“kate,” you whispered, trying to jog her to say something.

“i heard you.”

another silent pause.

“i’m really sorry.”

“are you?” she snapped.

“yes! i know this is really fucked up but–“

“but what? please tell me why you thought now was a good time to say something.”

“i tried,” your voice sounded pathetic, knowing she was right but you still attempted to explain yourself.

“i tried to tell you before and i wanted to tell you as soon as i got home but you were at your parents and i didn’t want to call i wanted to tell you in person and…” everything you said came out in one hurried breath.

“…and, i know it’s useless but i am sorry.”

kate looked down at the ground, her jaw clenched and she just slowly nodded, taking in every word.

“do you regret it?”

“i-“ you really thought your voice would follow through with a sentence but it didn’t.

“you know, i think if you were really sorry, and really regretted it, you would have tried harder to fucking tell me, but you didn’t.”

“kate.”

“no, just stop,” she paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts whilst you just stood there, afraid to speak.

“i think you love her.”

you felt like you’d just been shot.

“what?!”

“why do you seem so shocked? you do, don’t you?”

“no, i…” you sighed, defeated, “she’s my best friend.”

“yeah.” kate’s voice was quiet.

˚ · • . ° .

— ellie’s pov —

your flight was leaving soon and you hadn’t said anything to ellie about telling kate. she knew you were going to but the wait was killing her. then again, it wasn’t her relationship so she couldn’t expect you to tell kate. what if you’d changed your mind? what if you wanted to make things work and just forget everything that happened at the weekend? what if you didn’t want to see ellie anymore because it was too awkward?

she was pacing around her bedroom, panicking. she sent you a text to say have a safe flight then immediately muttered “you fucking idiot” to herself and threw her phone at the bed so hard that it bounced off and landed on her guitar amp. the screen cracked and most of it went black. fucking perfect, she thought. just what i need. a stupid broken phone.

her thoughts felt claustrophobic as they shouted at her from every direction. she just wanted to know what you were thinking. how you were feeling. were you feeling as worked up about this as she was? what were you doing right now? why were you still going on this holiday? maybe you didn’t go and any minute now you’d burst through the door.

a little time had passed, about four songs to be exact whilst ellie tried to drown her mind out with angry music. you weren’t bursting through the door and her text only said sent and not delivered. you had to be on that fucking plane. ellie turned the volume up, nearly to the point where her eardrums hurt.

why did you have to make her feel this way? why did you have to be so sweet, and kind, and pretty, and funny, and smart, and loving, and the best person she had ever met. it was actually pissing her off. how fucking dare you be all of those things, then kiss her, fuck her, and leave like it was nothing? it was fucking bullshit.

˚ · • . ° .

— your pov —

you couldn’t get a flight home until two days after you’d made your confession and it was agony. you and kate had broken up that night but had to still share the same hotel room as they were fully booked. however, during the day you did your own thing. which is why you were now sat in some random cafe alone, depressingly sipping on a milkshake.

“boy trouble?” you heard a voice right by you. were they talking to you? you quizzically flicked your eyes from staring down into your drink to look up at this older woman behind the counter. she was giving you a sympathetic smile. did you really look that sad?

“not technically,” you grumbled.

“technically? honey, it’s either a bad situation or it isn’t.” she laughed.

you slurped the end of your drink, the straw making a loud noise.

“i’m having girl trouble.”

the woman hummed in acknowledgment.

“let me get you another one of those, i’ll be right back.”

she made you a new milkshake and placed it in front of you.

“now, what’s troubling ya?”

you didn’t know if you wanted to explain it all to this random stranger, considering it was all quite fresh. but then you thought, hey, you could do with getting it off your chest and you would probably never see this person again so why the hell not. you took in a breath before you spoke.

“i cheated on my girlfriend with my best friend who i think i’m in love with but now i’m on holiday with said girlfriend who is no longer my girlfriend because on our second day here i told her about it and now i’m stuck here until tomorrow waiting to fly home.”

your voice came out very matter of factly and the woman, who was leaning on the counter, blinked a few times, processing.

“gosh,” she said.

“i know,” you sipped your drink.

“darlin’ you’ve got yourself in quite a mess here.”

“you think?” your eyes widened to emphasise the sarcasm.

“so where is the girl-sorry, ex girlfriend?”

“no idea, but we still have to share a hotel room until we leave.”

“oof. where is this best friend?”

“at home in wyoming.”

“when did… it happen? if you don’t mind me asking.”

“at the weekend.”

“damn.”

“i’m fucked, aren’t i.”

the woman took in a breath to gather her thoughts.

“maybe, maybe not. depends on what you want out of this.”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean, this friend of yours, you said you think you love her?”

“ye–i mean, i don’t kn–fuck, yes. yes i do.”

“and,” she dragged the word out, “do you think she loves you too?”

you shrugged and slapped your arms down on the counter.

“i don’t know! every time we try and talk about it it’s like we’ve forgotten how to fucking speak! i don’t know what to do!” your voice had gotten louder and more shrill. other people in the cafe could definitely hear you now if they wanted to pay attention. the woman smiled the way a mother would at her teenage daughter going through her first heartbreak.

“honey, i think you need to tell her how you feel.”

you took another sip, pausing.

“but what if she doesn’t feel the same?”

“then at least you’ll know.”

you grumbled, taking another sip.

“have you spoken to her whilst you’ve been out here?” you immediately felt a pang of guilt.

“no.”

the woman patted your hand.

“you can’t run from it forever, honey.”

once again your straw made a gurgling sound as you finished your milkshake.

“it’s on the house.”

“what? no, it’s fine, i can pay.”

“nope. this one’s on me, i insist.”

“are you my fairy godmother or something?” you laughed.

the woman laughed too and jokingly put her hands up in surrender before leaning them back down on the counter.

“just an old gal who wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“thank you, i really appreciate it.”

you smiled at each other before she walked off out the back. you decided to stop being a wimp and messaged ellie.

you

11:36am

hey els, hope you’re ok. i just wanted to tell you that i told kate, we broke up, but i can’t get home until tomorrow night. can we please talk when i get back?

˚ · • . ° .

you found an array of things to fill your day with but everything was coated in a fresh layer of anxiety because ellie had not replied. she might be busy, she might be working, she has a life, you thought. either that or she hates you.

you and kate barely spoke when you went to bed. it was incredibly awkward and you questioned whether or not you should have gotten a second room in a different hotel but for only two nights it still seemed like a stupid expense. you just had to get through this, then you could maybe put this whole thing to rest.

when you woke up the next day, kate was already gone. your flight was at 4pm so you’d see her soon enough to go to the airport. what a shit show, you thought. you rubbed your eyes and grabbed your phone. still no text from ellie. the anxiety in the pit in your stomach hadn’t let up. this was really out of character for her, she’d never gone this long without replying to you. sure, she was pretty useless with her phone in general but never with you.

˚ · • . ° .

“come on, we need to go,” kate huffed, checking her watch as she stood in the doorway of your hotel room.

“yeah yeah, i’m coming.”

the taxi drive was dead silent. the wait at the airport was dead silent, both of you just putting headphones on. you tried to sleep on the four hour flight but it just wasn’t happening. having to sit still was bad enough.

when you landed and were standing outside with your suitcases, you both stopped and looked at each other.

“i’m not gonna pretend like this isn’t really awkward,” kate spoke first.

“yeah,” you lightly kicked the ground, “again, i’m sorry about all this.”

“me too.” more silence.

“well, goodbye,” she said, her voice lifeless and sad.

“bye.” and with that she left. it all felt very weird and you felt sad. more so because you had hurt kate in a way you didn’t intend to, but what was done had been done and you could only really focus now on what lay ahead.

you got back to your apartment just after 9pm and threw your stuff down, not wanting to deal with it. you checked your phone again. still no reply.

“right, i can’t take this,” you muttered to yourself and aimlessly grabbed your phone and jacket before heading over to ellie’s place. on the walk over you tried to prepare what you were going to say.

“ellie, i need to tell you that–no, no…ellie, this whole thing has made me realise i–fuck,” you were getting frustrated. someone walked by and gave you a strange look as you were talking to yourself in public but you didn’t care and gave them a strange look back. you reached her place and tried to call her to tell her you were outside. voicemail. excellent. you buzzed the apartment intercom, over and over and over until you gave up. nothing. she wasn’t home.

“fuck this,” you cursed, wracking your brain for where she could be. it was a saturday night. hazy’s, you thought.

you beelined there and of course, it was busy. you couldn’t see her so you pushed your way to the bar. a familiar guitar riff played in the background. the band you went to see together were playing again. how stupidly poetic.

“nadine!” you called. she span around.

“hey! i thought you were supposed to be in california?”

“i am, i mean i was, look it’s a long story. have you seen ellie?”

“yeah, she’s here somewhere…oh, she’s over there,” nadine pointed.

you thanked her quickly before rushing over. you caught sight of her over someone’s shoulder but when she came into full view you saw a girl talking to her.

you felt sick. it’s too late, you thought. she hated you and she wanted to move on from it. although, she didn’t look the way she usually did when she was flirting with girls in bars, she kind of looked bored, so maybe everything was fine. you told yourself whatever story you wanted to hear and walked up to her.

“ellie.” her head snapped to look at you. her face looked confused but also…hopeful?

“what the fuck, how are you here?”

“who’s this?” the girl chimed in. you stared at her wishing she would fuck off. you knew you were one to talk but the feeling still stood.

you and ellie both said, “i’m her,” and “she’s my,” at the same time before pausing.

“you’re my what?” her eyes fixated on you.

“please can we just talk?”

“sure,” she said, pushing herself off the wall she had been leaning against and walking towards you. the girl rolled her eyes and disappeared.

you started to walk outside, ellie following behind. your palms felt clammy and your stomach felt like it was about to burst as you still had no idea where to start. once outside and out of the way of anyone you stopped and turned to face her.

“ok ok ok,” you chanted to yourself before leading with, “i’ve been trying to come up with the right way to say this but–“

“where’s kate?” she interrupted.

“she went home.” you felt nervous at how she suddenly sounded a bit pissed off.

“why are you back from california?”

“why would i stay there?” you questioned, confused.

“i don’t know, maybe because you were so excited to go on some romantic fucking getaway with your girlfriend where you’ve probably been fucking and–“

“ellie,” you shouted, trying to get her to stop, “i haven’t, i mean we didn’t do anything! i swear.”

“then why did you go?” she yelled.

“i fucking panicked, i–ok i’m not gonna try and excuse it because that was shitty of me but also why have you been ignoring me?”

“i haven’t been ignoring you.”

“you have, ellie, i messaged you ages ago and you never fucking replied!”

“i broke my phone.”

“when?”

“wednesday.”

“ellie, it’s saturday, why didn’t you get it fixed?”

“i don’t know! i haven’t gotten around to it, anyway does that matter?!”

“yes because if you did then you’d know that i told kate, we broke up a couple days ago, i’m never gonna see her again, i’ve had the worst few days of my life thinking you hated me and didn’t wanna talk and i know it’s all my fault and i’m a fucking idiot but–“

she kissed you.

her warm hands grabbed your face and she kissed you, hard.

you broke apart, gasping for air, her hands still on your face and yours holding her bent elbows for stability as you felt like you could honestly collapse in a heap.

“i don’t think i’ve ever fucked up this colossally in my entire life. well, except for that time i crashed my car into a–“

“will you shut up?” she smirked.

“yeah, no, yeah, sorry.” you stuttered and she kissed you again.

your hands tangled themselves in her hair and hers traveled down to your waist, pulling you tight against her.

“take me home?” you mumbled into it. she smiled and grabbed your hand, practically running back to your place, only because it was closer than hers.

her hands were all over you as you fumbled with the keys to get into your apartment. as soon as the door slammed shut she pushed you up against the nearest wall. you moaned as your back hit it.

“you’ve been driving me insane,” ellie mumbled against your lips.

“i couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“oh yeah? tell me what you thought about.” she started kissing your neck, her hand slipping under your top to touch your waist.

“your hands,” your cheeks felt hot. she slipped her other hand down to squeeze your ass and chuckled when it made you lean your hips into her.

“anything else?”

“ellie,” you pleaded, feeling embarrassed.

“i wanna know.”

“ok, i thought about how fucking annoying you are when you-“ you yelped as she grabbed your thighs, picking you up, your legs wrapping tightly around her.

she hastily made her way to the sofa and sat down so that you were now straddling her lap. your hands tugged at her hair as you kissed, making her groan. her hands grabbed your ass, making you grind into her. they then slide up your back, pushing your top up as she mumbled, “take it off.”

you ripped your top off and as you’d been traveling all day you hadn’t bothered with a bra so your tits were already out, pressing against her. her hands never left your body as she moved them to cup your boobs, squeezing and brushing her thumbs over your nipples.

“take your jeans off.”

you smirked and climbed off her lap and stood before her. you slowly started to unzip your jeans and slip your thumbs beneath the waist band, ready to push them down. her eyes were gazing all over your body as she licked her lips. you took your time pushing your jeans and underwear down just to tease her. the second they were off she leaned forward and grabbed you, pulling you back onto her straddling her lap.

“you’re eager,” you teased.

“don’t,” she laughed slightly before kissing you. she knew she was but she didn’t care. her hand glided down your back, going over the curve of your ass before you felt her fingers slightly part your wet folds.

you instinctively pushed your body further into hers and she dipped a finger in, slowly moving it in and out with ease. you moaned against her mouth.

“more.”

“now who’s eager.”

your hands gripped her shoulders harder in warning. she fingered you for a little longer until she suddenly moved her hand away, gave your ass a light tap and said, “sit on my face, baby.”

you both wasted no time getting into position as she lied back on the sofa and you hovered over her face. she wrapped her hands around your thighs and pulled you down, licking a long stripe up your cunt.

“fuck, you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do this.”

her words made you try and squeeze your thighs together but her hands held them tightly in place. her tongue swirled circles on your clit making you breathlessly let out a string of curses.

your knuckles were turning white as you gripped the back of the sofa and you struggled to hold your body upright with how good she was making you feel. so good in fact you didn’t notice that she had moved one of her hands off your thigh until you felt her finger slip into your dripping cunt again. she curled it and worked it inside you alongside the torment of her tongue on your clit.

“oh fuck i’m gonna come.”

she kept her rhythm as your orgasm washed over you. your body went limp above her and she moved her hand up to your waist to support you as you shuffled back down her body. you gave her a tired, sloppy kiss.

“why am i always naked before you?”

“it’s hot,” she laughed.

she then sat up, pushing you up to be in her lap again before saying you should move to your bedroom. you giddily nodded and she pinched your ass as she followed you. she was walking so close her front was practically against your back anyway.

as soon as the bed was in sight she spun you around and kissed you before pushing you back onto it. you giggled as you leant on your forearms looking up at her as she started taking her clothes off. once naked, she leaned over you, lips back on yours, helping you shuffle up the bed. your hands were raking down her back emitting a moan from her. she was then pushing your legs apart and positioning herself so that your cunts were pressed together. you both let out a loud moan as she started rocking her hips.

“fuck, baby,” she groaned.

“feels so good, el.”

her fingertips were digging into your skin, supporting herself as she fucked herself into you. the sounds that filled the room were animalistic and filthy.

“i’m gonna come,” her voice cracked. the sight of her struggling to keep her eyes open above you was enough to send you into your next orgasm.

“m-me too.”

she collapsed on top of you, her face buried in your neck and you trailed your fingertips up and down her back, both of you panting. after you both took a moment to catch your breath she lifted her head to look at you.

“you’re so fucking beautiful,” she said, brushing a piece of hair away from your face.

“so are you,” you smiled, which made her blush.

“stop,” she laughed.

“you always get so weird when i compliment you but sorry baby, you really are.”

she closed her eyes for a second and subtly nodded, accepting it. you took her hand and started absentmindedly playing with her rings. you both looked at each other for a moment, taking in the fact that you were here again, in each other’s arms, but this time it was different. you didn’t have to worry about anything. you could just enjoy it.

“ellie,” you started, suddenly feeling that anxious pit in your stomach again.

“yeah?”

“i think…i think i love you.”

there. you’d said it. you had stopped being afraid and you’d told her.

“actually i think i always have.” your voice was soft and her eyes melted. she placed a light, loving kiss on your lips.

“i think i’ve always loved you too.”

you both laughed but this time you didn’t have to shush yourselves. she suddenly started attacking you with kisses all over your face and neck and you laughed louder.

“can’t believe we wasted all that fucking time,” you joked. she smiled.

“i guess we better make up for it.”

˚ · • . ° .

tag list: @ximtiredx @mattm1964 @robinismywifee @gold-dustwomxn @rolly-pollie @sapphicproblem @harrysslutsstuff @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @ellitelesbo @emothurman a couple other people asked me to tag them but it won’t let me and i’m not sure why so sorry about that!

[squoxle]

Can u do a short ff where y/n came from the gym and she’s looking hot as ever. And heeseung is home while he talks to his gamer friends . And when he sees y/n he’s flabbergasted.

Can I? Hmm…I can try😏🖤 (you probably didn't read this b4 you asked. no worries tho...i was itching to start writing for EN- again anyway)

𐙚Heated~L.HS ff 18+𐙚

💋pairing: Heeseung!fwb x Reader!fm | 💋wc: 1.3k | 💋summary: Do I really need to explain this??? basically, you came home after working out, and Heeseung couldn't keep his eyes off your sexy, sweaty body. |💋cw: 🔞MDNI!! unprotected sex, cumshots, fingering, clit stimulation, sexual jokes, pet names [daddy, good girl, baby]=heeseung coded Enjoy :)

"Dammit," you swore as your phone fell out of your pocket. You slid your headphones down to wrap around your neck as you kneeled down to pick up your phone.

"Hey," Jake said as you flipped your phone around, checking for any scratches or cracks. "How was the gym?"

"Ehh nothing too special," you shrugged before lugging your bag over your shoulder. "There was this one guy who kept flirting with me. He even tried giving me his number," you laughed under your breath.

"A guy? Flirting with you? What else did this guy do?" Heeseung spat. It seemed like hearing that pissed him off a bit as his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"It really wasn't all that. I don't know why you're getting upset anyway. We're just friends. It's not like you're my boyfriend or anything," You said before taking a sip from your water bottle. It was the kind you can use your teeth to yank open, though that may not be the intended way of doing it.

"How'd you know she went to the gym?" Heeseung asked, looking at the other guys as he took his dark eyes off you.

"Uhh...well if I was an asshole--which I'm not--I would say that anyone with a fucking brain could tell by what she went to the gym just by looking at her," Jay said sarcastically as you stood by the door wearing compression tights and a cropped hoodie that covered your sports bra.

"Yeah, that and she told us before she left an hour ago," Sunghoon added.

"Oh," Heeseung said as he went back to staring at you.

You flashed him a puzzled look as he licked his lips before biting on the lower one as he scanned your body up and down. You couldn't believe the bipolar attitude this boy had at times.

"Yo dude! What the fuck was that?" Jay laughed as he saw the way Heeseung was practically drolling over you. "Don't tell me that she's turning you on that easily," Jay continued as he shook Hee's shoulder. "She's literally like a sister to us."

"More like a step-sister," Sunghoon chuckled. "You can see it all over his face. He wants to fuck her just as badly as that guy at the gym," He smirked before turning to look at you himself. He could see how Heeseung could like the way you looked with your hair stuck to the sides of your face from the sweat. Especially when you took off your hoodie, revealing your breasts that were also decorated with sweat that dripped from your collarbone.

"What?" Heeseung shook his head. The thoughts in his mind caused him to go completely blank.

"Woah! Even his little buddy thinks so," Jake threw his head back laughing. Heeseung looked down to see his hard-on bulging in his sweats, before looking over at you.

"Dude you're freaking her out," Jake continued as he looked over to see your flushed face.

"Uhhh...I'm just gonna go," you said awkwardly as you walked to your room.

"Hey, if I were you I'd just be honest and tell everyone how bad I wanna fuck her," Sunghoon smirked.

"Fuck off, man," Heeseung spat as he left the room following behind you.

"What do you want?" You said as you rummaged through your drawers looking for an outfit to put on after your shower.

“I think you already know,” Heeseung said as he closed the door behind him. The thought of your sweaty body bouncing on his cock was enough to get him started.

“Right now? You’re joking…” you said as you placed the stack of clothes on your bed. You were in no mood to engage in some sexual activity with him right now for two reasons. One, it's literally the middle of the fucking day, and two, the guys are still awake sitting in the living room down the hall.

“How do you expect me to react after seeing your hot sexy body covered in sweat?” he said cocking his head to the side as if you could read the horny thoughts running through his mind.

“Umm, disgusted. Like a normal person,” you folded your arms. You were indirectly trying to hint to him that this wasn't a good time, but by the look on his face you could tell that wasn't working.

“Hmm, well that would probably be the case if we didn’t have our little side thing.”

“Okay, you’re either desperate or stupid if you think we’re gonna have sex right now.”

“What if I’m both?” Heeseung said before reaching down to grip his dick through his pants. “I’m aching for you and I know how bad you want me. You just hate to admit that I’m right,” he continued as he walked up to you, placing a delicate yet sensual kiss on your cheek while holding your chin.

“You’re sick,” you spat ripping away from his grip. “And when you’re horny, you’re a fucking dog,” you said picking up your clothes before walking to the door.

“Ah ah ah~” Heeseung said as he held the door shut with his hand. “You know I always get what I want,” he smiled before kissing your neck.

“I said, not right n—“ you were cut off by Heeseung gripping your ass. His fingers reached through your thighs to your pussy. You perked your ass up to give him a better shot as he rubbed against your pussy through the tight fabric.

“What was that you were saying,” Heeseung smiled before sucking on your neck, biting a bit of your skin hard enough to cause you to let out a small moan.

“What if they hear us?”

“Who cares?” Heeseung said as he pressed his dick against your ass.

“Heeseung,” you sighed.

“Relax, just stay quiet and we should be okay,” he pulled down your tights, exposing your ass to him.

You covered your mouth with your hands as Heeseung glided his dick between your folds before pushing himself in.

“Mmph!” You gasped. Heeseung let out a soft chuckle from behind you as he began pounding into your slimy hole.

He gripped your waist with one of his hands while the other he used to stimulate your clit. You braced yourself against the door that slightly knocked from your movements.

“H-Heeseung! A-ah,” you moaned as your walls clenched around his throbbing cock.

“That’s it baby. Take all of Daddy’s dick like a good girl,” he said pumping into you so hard that you were on your toes at this point.

Just as you reached your climax, Heeseung pulled his dick out of you. “What?” You said turning around to see his dick still twitching.

“Get on your hands and knees,” he commanded. “And turn around,” he continued as you dropped down into doggy position.

He didn’t waste time to slam his dick into you, fucking you hard and fast as his thighs slapped against your ass.

“Ah!” You moaned a little too loud.

Heeseung pulled you back, shoving two fingers into your mouth as he kept fucking you. Before you came he shot his cum on your back before getting up to leave the room.

“Wait. Where are you going?” You asked as you pulled your tights back up.

“I’m finished,” he shrugged. “You can go take your shower now. I’m done being a pervert,” he winked before walking down the hall.

“Wh-heeseung?!” You shouted. "Ugh," you huffed, picking up your clothes before walking to the shower.

"What was that all about?" Jay asked as Heeseung plopped down on the sofa next to him.

"Nothing," he smirked. "She's just being dramatic as usual."

"Mhm. Sure," Sunghoon smirked before sitting back.

"Soooo, can we get back to the game now?" Jake asked.

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

❀ 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @chlorinecake @hoyeonheeseung @nikisdubblchococake @hynjinnn1 @mrswolfhard3 @laylasbunbunny @sussyjake @furious-eagle @cherrriesss @abbyizzy @weyukinluv @addictedtohobi @thatonenoona @wavykook @givemeyourtmihyun @jaeljn @hoonmywk @valennshit @19-yunalyn @hoonbby @frostedblankets @hoonsyo @no-mannerism @perfectxserendipity @chubbibish @ihrtlix @bunniesforsoobin @thereadersparadise @thatbooknerdfr @aiden2001 @belongstoheeseung @jakeybabe @donut-crazs @rizzhee @nikimeows @woonieees @uarmyxtae @rebecca-johnson-28 @they2luv1naia @isa-2007 @silcry @riverscafe @pearlwhitesoul @nikohiroshi @thatbooknerdfr @wonniewonwon @sughoonieeee @babyy-bambii @adrika04 @sehunsharpasseyebrows @wtfyangjungwon @fr-3-akn-4-stymf @rikiloversworld @shawyle @sunoosrightbuttcheek @uarmyxtae @lovesickxmina @urfavberry @urauntiefaye @breadlover01 @taehyunsfavmoa

[eustasskiddsprosthetic]

"You got the best of me."

Wips, different colours and context below the cut. (TW: Religious themes)

If you're curious, this illustration is based on a comic (which is based on a fan fiction) I worked on for a long time called "You Got the Best of Me". Yes, it's a BTS song. It's a good B-side.

The idea is that traveller!Antonio finds his way to a small, wayward tomato farmed owned by this grumpy man called Lovino. He's the son of the village's head priest who had passed away from cancer when he was a child, not long after his younger brother, Feliciano was born.

Feliciano was always sickly and couldn't do very much. He was a crybaby. He was kind of pathetic but always cheerful and Lovino loved him very much, and worked hard to support him.

Growing up, Feliciano became very religious like their grandfather and trained to become a priest. Lovino didn't exactly disapprove, since it meant Feliciano would be taken care of, but he didn't believe in God as much as he used to. Afterall, God let his grandfather—the epitome of Godfearring—die so painfully. Feliciano tries his best to reconnect but their difference in faith made it difficult.

In the present day, Antonio and Lovino met when Antonio just stumbles into a village party one day. He leans against an empty barrel, exhausted, until someone taps his shoulder. He turns around and sees a handsome, albeit drunk as fuck young man giving him a bottle of alcohol, telling him to cheer up and drink. Antonio fell in love at first sight. That smile was gorgeous.

They meet again the next day when Antonio walks into the church and sees the same young man sitting at the back. The young man didn't say no when Antonio sits with him, and doesn't do anything when Antonio talks to him and asks to share his Bible.

After service, they walk around the church in silence and they go to a quiet stretch of meadow where Antonio plays some childhood songs on his guitar. Antonio was surprised when Lovino knew the words and could speak Spanish. Lovino said the 'weirdos' his grandfather made friends with taught him whatever he knew, which was surprisingly a lot.

They continue chatting and without knowing, it had been hours.

"Brother, it's lunch time," Feliciano said softly.

Lovino screamed. "H-how the fuck did you find me?"

Feliciano laughed as he pointed to the footsteps in the ground. "There's coffee! No alcohol, don't drink so much." Feliciano acknowledged Antonio with a curtsey and a suspicious glance. Lovino did not always have the best judgement.

The three of them walked together, Lovino walked ahead because he was hungry and knew that he needed to explain himself. Antonio and Feliciano introduced themselves. Feliciano was not as paranoid as before—Antonio seemed like a nice person. Antonio liked that Feliciano took things well despite his sickliness and hoped that he would get better soon. Feliciano gave him a look.

Antonio understood immediately. Feliciano was unnervingly pale and skinny. The only thing about him that was strong was his will to live. Antonio promised to never talk about it again and Feliciano smiled.

A few months go by and Antonio was helping Lovino harvest tomatoes and that was when Lovino pulls him aside and asks, "Do you know about my grandfather?" Antonio said vaguely because he and Feliciano slipped it in conversations here and there. Lovino nodded and then elaborated more on what Antonio 'vaguely' knew. Lovino usually wasn't this open so what happened now?

"Doctors said Feliciano won't have longer than a year left."

Antonio felt devastated. He did not know them for very long and yet he knew Feliciano was one of the better sort of people out there. He could only imagine how painful it must be for Lovino—his own brother!

"Is God trying to take a piss at me?" Lovino said angrily. "For not believing? For fucking giving up? For calling Him a bastard? If He feels bad, then maybe He should stop fucking killing everyone I love! My own family, Antonio! What the fuck is wrong with Him?"

Antonio listened. Lovino started ugly sobbing, understandably so. Antonio nodded.

"Feliciano's a good kid. He's always doing his fucking best. He never whored around, he's always nice. He cooked for old ladies. He prays and reads the Bible every fucking day. Why do you Hate your own, God? Is it because he's dating some guy? Well, I don't like the blonde son of a bitch either but I won't kill them. What the fuck is your problem? Aren't you the good one?"

Antonio pat his back. And then, Lovino said, "Why can't He just kill me instead? Let Feliciano go. Let him be happy."

"That won't change anything."

"Yeah that fucking won't but at least I won't be sad."

"Well, I would."

Lovino looked at Antonio like he was crazy.

"But you'll fucking bounce in what? A week? Two weeks? I know your type. You idiots never fucking stay in one place, always running around, bumming around without doing anything proper. Piss off, Antonio. You'll find another one in China or some shit."

"No, Lovino. I care about you. I don't want you to die. Feli's not dead yet. What would he say?"

"He'd tell me to pray."

"Praying isn't dying, sí?" Antonio said. The sun was setting and the birds were chirping. Antonio picked up a plump tomato from the ground, wiped it with his shirt and gave it to Lovino. "Eating this beautiful tomato won't cure you or Feli of your pain but it sure tastes really nice."

Lovino laughed at that childish response. He ate the tomato and smiled. It was quite delicious. Antonio thought he looked like an angel when he smiled, especially now. They looked at each other with an unspoken emotion, something at the tip of their tongue. Antonio knew it a bit better than Lovino but it was still scary because it meant giving up his freedom to stay here.

Forever.

Of course, he can talk about travelling with Lovino but he knew lazy bastard wouldn't want to do anything. He could try to get Lovino out of the house. He could lose his dignity and leave and reclaim that freedom. He could... Lovino laughed again and that smile was gorgeous.

[seiya-starsniper]

Six Degrees of Separation

Rating: Teen || Chapters: 1/4 || Word Count 1.4k

Summary:

The Dead Boy Detectives run into a familiar pub while out on a case, and Crystal has to contend with an unfortunate event from her past.

Hob Gadling wasn't planning on adopting three teenagers and a full grown woman, but stranger things have happened in his long centuries of life.

Read here on Tumblr, or over on AO3

dedicated to @softest-punk for making me emotional about Hob adopting the kids in DBD 💖

----------------

“In here!” Edwin shouts, gesturing frantically at the entrance to a pub that looks vaguely familiar to Crystal. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have much time to wonder before the banshee chasing them lets out a blood curdling scream. Crystal rushes in with Charles right behind her, pushing the door and slamming it shut behind her. Thankfully the pub seems to be completely empty except for one man. 

A man who looked extremely pissed off to see them.

“Oh bloody hell, fuck no, not you, out!” the older man shouts, moving out from behind the bar and looking ready to chase them out by force if necessary. Crystal braces herself, glancing around frantically for some sort of back door that she can bolt to if necessary. She’s pretty sure she can outrun him.

Charles and Edwin however, are a different story.

“Hob, it’s us!” Charles exclaims, throwing up his hands in an attempt to show no harm.

“We’re sorry for bringing a ghost to your door, Mr Gadling,” Edwin adds. “If you’ll just let me borrow one of your books to get rid of this banshee, we’ll be out of your hair.” 

“Not you two, her,” the man, Hob (what the hell kind of name was that?) growls, pointing at Crystal accusingly. Edwin and Charles turn to her in shock, and Crystal is about to protest that she has no idea what this man is on about, but then the memory of how she knows Hob Gadling comes flooding back to her.

The pub they’d run into was The New Inn and Crystal had almost burned it down last year because some girl she hated at school had come here for her 18th birthday. With all of Crystal’s friends, sans Crystal. Ex-friends now, since Crystal had tried to burn the place down with the whole party still inside. Hob had, unsurprisingly, pressed charges, and it took a lot of money from her parents to make everything go away.

“I’m sorry!” Crystal yells, just as the banshee screeches and slams its body against the door behind them. It lights up an iridescent blue, a warding against ghosts. Of course Crystal had to go and fuck up the one supernatural relationship she had because she was an idiot asshole last year. 

“I know this isn’t a great time, but I’m kind of a different person now?” Crystal says, having no idea how to even begin to explain the weird circumstances of the last month. “I swear what my past self did isn't who I am now,” she adds, also raising her hands to show she means no harm. 

“She’s part of the Dead Boy Detectives Agency, mate,” Charles interjects, while Edwin nods furiously in agreement. “Please don’t throw her out!”

The banshee lets out another screech and slams itself against the door, rattling the frame so hard that Crystal’s afraid it might fly off the hinges at any moment. Whatever ward Hob had placed, it wasn’t going to hold out for that much longer.

“What the hell is going on?!” a familiar voice cries out, and then Jenny Green of all people is coming out of what Crystal assumes is the kitchen. She’s also brandishing a butcher knife, because why would any of that change now that she lives across the pond?

“Jenny?!” Charles and Edwin yell.

“Oh fuck,” the older woman curses, glancing back and forth between the three of them and Hob. Crystal really hopes they haven’t just gotten Jenny fired. Finding a job had been tough enough for her when they'd relocated, and she had refused any help financially from Crystal.

“You know them?!” Hob asks, shock clear in his voice.

“It’s a long story,” Jenny grumbles, then screams when the banshee throws itself against the door again. “What the fuck, why did you lead a ghost here? ”

The door rattles and creaks, and the ward around the pub shimmers and vibrates angrily, which seems to finally prompt Hob to action. He straightens his back, rubs a hand over his face, and then takes one, two, three deep breaths before he looks them all over appraisingly. 

“Jenny, get the salt from the back,” Hob orders, gesturing her back to the kitchen. “The iron knives should be on the shelf next to them. Edwin, you know where the tomes are,” he adds pointing upwards, likely towards a room on the second floor of the pub. Jenny and Edwin nod quietly before disappearing to their designated posts, leaving Crystal and Charles alone with Hob.

“Right, so since when have the Dead Boys gotten themselves involved with trust fund brats?” Hob asks, still eyeing Crystal warily as if he expects her to pull out a lighter at any moment. 

“Since this trust fund brat got possessed by a demon and got her memories stolen,” Crystal answers, wincing when she realizes how harsh that sounds. “Sorry. I just recently got them back and it's been a weird time. I really am sorry though. For like, nearly burning this place to the ground cause I was mad.”

“You did what? ” Charles cries out, his mouth agape. “Please tell me that was all David’s doing.”

Crystal scrunches up her face and then shakes her head. “I wish it was, but no. Just plain old shitty Crystal,” she answers truthfully.

Hob looks between the two of them, then sighs, his expression softening. 

“Look, clearly you’ve done some soul searching and I am the last person who should be allowed to hold a grudge against someone who’s done some bad things,” he says, then gestures to Charles. “If the boys vouch for you, then I’m willing to bury the hatchet. All right, Ms Von-Hovercraft?”

“Please just call me Crystal,” Crystal pleads. She really hated being referred to by her surname. It still felt weird and foreign to her, after everything she had gone through. Hob huffs, and this time when he looks at her, there isn’t a shred of contempt in his expression.

“Yeah okay. Crystal,” he says warmly. “You can call me Hob.”

Crystal wants to ask where the hell the name Hob comes from, because she’s pretty sure she remembers his name being Richard , but before she can say anything, Edwin and Jenny come back and Hob turns his full attention to taking care of the banshee that’s trying to get past the wards he has around the entire pub. 

“You’re lucky Tuesday’s a slow night,” Hob says, before he starts flipping through the tome. “Jenny, Crystal, make a salt circle by the tables over there,” he adds, pointing to his left. “You’re going to need to lead her there so we can trap her.”

Crystal and Jenny make as large of a circle as they can, pouring generous amounts of salt into the floor. When they’re done, Hob instructs them to the front of the pub, where the door is still rattling and glowing angrily. Edwin and Charles are standing next to Hob, Charles with his cricket bat out, and Edwin and Hob ready to chant the spell within the tome. 

“When I count to three, open the door and run like hell into the salt circle,” Hob tells them. “One, two, THREE!”

Crystal throws open the door and both she and Jenny cover their ears as they run towards the salt circle. The banshee’s cries are even louder now that she’s inside the pub, but their plan works. She follows them straight into the circle, then screeches again in anger once she realizes she cannot follow them out. Her long hands try to grab for Jenny’s apron, but Charles materializes right at the circle’s edge to bat her hand away. 

Hob and Edwin start chanting some spell in what Crystal assumes is Latin, and the banshee screeches at an even louder volume than before. The salt circle alights a bright gold, and Crystal and Jenny are practically thrown backwards by the force of the magic taking effect.

The banshee lets out one more high pitched scream, and then her dark grey dress suddenly becomes stark white, dark and wet black hair paling slowly to a soft light brown. When the banshee lifts her face, her eyes are no longer sunken and black, but wide and bright green. 

She’s beautiful, now that she’s no longer in pain.

The Night Nurse shows up shortly afterwards, collecting the woman and gently reassuring her that she’s going to a better place. She looks at Hob like she’s offended by his very existence, which the man takes in stride and cheerfully waves her off, telling her to say hello to her boss for him. 

“Right then,” Hob says after the banshee and the Night Nurse have left. “Now that that’s taken care of, care to explain to me what the bloody hell is the connection with you lot?”

[fruittt-punchhh]

Pop My Cherry!

this is pt. 8! read the rest of the parts here.

Synopsis: your dad's best friend is none other than Toji Fushiguro, and you can't help but wonder what he could do with his hands.

Characters: Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader. Shiu is in this one a lil’ more.

Content: Minors Do Not Interact! suggestiveness, afab! reader, fem! reader, dad's best friend! Toji, cursing, angst, etc.

Word Count: 1.7k-ish

Notes: bitches I’m finally back!! Life has been crazy per usual, but I’m back in my writing bag FINALLY. I will say this part is wayyyyyy shorter than the previous parts, but I didn’t know how else to split it up so pls forgive me. However, pt. 9 and future parts are already in the works so the next part will be up before you know it. No freak shit this time (forgive me again pls). Also HUGE thanks to @theobsidianempress for being my brainstorming buddy for this (and future) parts. Enjoyyyyyy🫶🥹🤓

Oh. That was not at all what you thought he would say. He was always so witty and honestly kind of perverted. With what just happened, you assumed he’d have another flirty, nasty quip about your vagina or something.

“What do you mean?” You asked plainly. You felt your heart rate increase, and you had already caught your breath from the activities previously. Why did that small admission make you so… stressed?

He scoffs, “Are you really gonna make me say it again, girl? I like being around you, I guess.” He admits as a small blush covers his nose. If only Shiu could hear him now.

Okay. He said it a little more casually this time. Maybe he’s just trying to be nice since you just fucked and this isn’t some sort of profession of love like you assumed.

“Oh yeah? Well I like hanging out with you too, Toji,” you say, letting out a nervous chuckle as you wipe your sweaty palms on the couch. Your eyes dart around room, looking for your clothes, a blanket, a plastic bag to put over your head, anything. You go to grab a blanket off of the nearby recliner, wrapping it around your shoulders tightly to cover yourself completely.

And Toji can’t help but notice the sudden nervousness, as if something within the room itself shifted. It felt different now. Different in a way he couldn’t explain, but now was not the time to start critically thinking.

His next words were quickly interrupted by a sharp ring of his phone.

Fucking Shiu.

As soon as he presses the green button, Shiu is already rambling loudly into the receiver.

“Like where the fuck are you? With how desperate you are for cash I’d figure you’d be here early bro. This is a big fucking job and I can’t afford for you to fuck it up either!”

Of course he forgot about work. With his head so wrapped up in you, he totally forgot about the rest of his existence. He responds quickly, letting Shiu know he’ll be at the location in twenty.

You felt relieved for some reason. You weren’t great at confrontation and felt it was easier to push your problems under the rug, at least until you’ve had ample time to think things over.

“Y/n, I’m really sorry, I promise I wouldn’t be leaving if I didn’t have work. I totally fucking forgot. I should be back by like, ten or some shit, then we can talk some more, okay?”

“Yeah, sure, just be safe!” You say as he throws on his clothes haphazardly. You go grab his shoes by the door to speed up the process. You knew you needed to be alone right now and his handsome face and pitiful heart eyes wasn’t helping.

There was no hug or kiss when he left, which you felt was best. You two waved bye and he was out the door in a flash.

Now you finally had time to freak out.

——————————————————————————

There he was. Sitting in the car, still pissed off apparently. Toji plops in the passenger seat, making the car bounce from his monstrous frame.

“What the fuck took you so long?”

He didn’t have time for questions when he was already like, thirty minutes late to the mission. Shiu actually seemed concerned for once, so he tried his best not to be a total dick.

“Look, I’ll explain later I swear. Can we just get this over with please? I’ve got shit to do.”

Shiu lets out an exasperated sigh before putting the car in gear.

“Let’s get it over with then.”

——————————————————————————

You had to calm down. You were probably just reading into things. But Toji, the notorious hard-ass, blunt, rude Toji, has been so considerate of you lately. Affectionate even. Which seems to be unlike him, to you at least. He didn’t grab your tit and say, ‘hey I like you’. He gently placed his hand on your stomach and said it into your eyes, like it was indeed the confession you thought it was.

You couldn’t do this. You start to panic and you felt yourself stand to your feet; it almost felt like something else was controlling your movements. You threw on some clean clothes and started looking for your suitcase.

This was crazy, right? I mean, he didn’t say he loved you. There was no proposal, no scary questions, nothing like that. Just “I’m starting to take a liking to you”. I mean who even says that anyways?

You felt so guilty. Toji, for once, had a look of hope in his eyes before he left. You could tell he felt terrible for leaving on the spot like that, and here you were doing the same thing. But you didn’t feel as terrible as he did, you knew that for a fact.

Yes, you felt bad. Guilty, ashamed, and panicked. But you had to keep reminding yourself it’d be better to get out now than to become attached to someone that’s unavailable for so many reasons. You had to keep telling yourself the bad things you knew about him to feel like you were justified in your decision. The fact that he was an assassin really didn’t help things. You hated to admit it, but that was the only thing you could come up with. Yes, he has been very brash and at times rude, but once he got to know you, the tough guy facade seemed to wash away (almost) entirely. The person revealed to you underneath all the dirt and grime was someone you felt yourself caring for, even in the short time you’ve known him. It doesn’t help that he was insanely attractive and has made you cum more times than you can count over the last few days.

Jesus Christ. This was not helping. You had to focus and get this shit over with before you changed your mind. You had just finished the last of your clothes and go to the bathroom to grab your toiletries.

——————————————————————————

Finally, this shit was over with. Toji hops back into the car alongside Shiu.

Shiu reaches into the backseat, grabbing a beach towel and throws it at Toji.

“Dude. I told you to start putting a towel down when you get in here. I still don’t see how you get so fucking messy every time.”

Toji laughs, wiping his hands on the towel before shoving it underneath him to put a barrier between him and the seat.

“What if I like it messy?”

Shiu rolled his eyes fully into his skull.

“Sooooo… you wanna talk now or whatever?” Shiu asked awkwardly, desperate to change the subject. The two didn’t talk personal life very often, opting to keep it to strictly business for no real reason other than the demands of the job leaving them too exhausted for frilly conversation afterwards. However, this was an easy job for once, and Toji seemed all too distracted. So much so, he almost got a little too sloppy with the job before he caught himself slipping up.

“Talk about what?”

“Are you fucking dumb? Why were you late and shit earlier?”

“Ohhhhh. I was with a girl is all, I just forgot about work and got busy with-“

“That’s enough. Spare me the gory details please.” He says quickly before lighting a cigarette.

“Since when do you call women ‘girls’ though? I thought bitch was your preferred term.”

The word struck a cord within him. Sure, he’d call you a bitch from time to time, but only in the bedroom. He doesn’t think he could ever call you something that harsh otherwise. But he also didn’t know how to answer that question.

“I don’t fuckin’ know man. Why do you care?”

“Just curious is all.”

——————————————————————————

That was it. Everything was packed. Your dad wouldn’t be home for a while, and it was already 8 o’clock. You couldn’t risk Toji catching you as you left. It was truly now or never.

You start loading everything up in your car, desperate to leave. At this point, you needed to stay focused on yourself and this next semester. Distractions as large as this would only jeopardize your future. You threw your last bag in the trunk and locked up the house.

As you pull out of the driveway, you didn’t look back, literally or figuratively. You had to get out and this was the best time to do it. This was the right decision, it had to be.

——————————————————————————

Finally, this shit was over with. Now he could get back to his priority?

Yeah. His priority.

He wanted to be courteous for once, so he shoots you a quick text letting you know he’s on your way back.

‘Hey, y/n, just got done, I’ll be back in twenty. Gotta shower when I get back but after that, I’m all yours,’ he texted, opting out of adding an emoji because he was too old for that shit.

Weird. It said not delivered. He was in a weird part of town though, maybe there’s no service. Or you fell asleep and your phone died? Who knows.

——————————————————————————

He arrived and to your surprise, your car is gone. He tries not to sweat it as he walks up onto the porch. The door was locked, which was also strange. He goes around back to grab the spare and unlocks the door.

“Y/n?” He calls, eagerly needing to hear your voice again. But there was no answer. The house was dead silent. The lights were off.

He flips the kitchen switch on quickly before storming into the living room, turning on the light there as well.

It was all gone. Your clothes, your phone, your everything. He rushes down the hallway to your room and nearly falls through the door in an attempt to open it so quickly. Holy shit. There was literally nothing left. It looked how it did before you showed up. Clean and much too undisturbed.

He gives you a call, and it immediately goes to voicemail. He started to worry. He felt it was unlike you to up and leave so suddenly, especially without a note or a text message.

He had to call your dad. With sweaty fingers, he dials the number by heart, not having the time to scroll through his contacts.

“Hey man, what’s-”

“Hey, I just got home and y/n is gone, have you heard anything?” He all but yelled, trying his best to remain calm.

“Oh yeah, everything’s good. She texted and said she had to go back to campus for early move in or something. You okay?”

There was a moment of silence.

“Uh, yeah, e-everything’s fine. Just making sure nothing happened, thanks,” he says before he’s hanging up the phone.

What the fuck?

@theobsidianempress @scorpiosugar @voloslobotomyservice @lostsoul526 @shhreya @placxdbaby @iminurwallsgege @slvttyplum @bluejayreadsanddreams

[xoxo-sarah]

The Exit

Part 2

↝a/n: kinda based off the song. I wanted to write more but I was tired of seeing this just sitting in my notes. First love type shit edit: I took out the little bit of smut.

↝pairing:Steve Harrington x reader

↝ Warning: angst, not proofread, heartbreak, one-sided break up(?), arguing, Stancy

↝⎙ 9.3.23

"So, how long are you going to avoid me?" Shit shit shit.

You were doing fine with avoiding him, have been for 5 months. He just couldn't leave it alone.

Well, you suppose you'd be the same way. If he cut off all contact with you after you got a new boyfriend, you'd probably be a little pissed off and curious as to why, too.

"I'm kind of busy."

"I'm sure you have a minute." Steve leaned against the door frame, eyes flickering around your whole face, looking for any hint of what he possibly could've done.

The two of you have been friends for forever. You grew up together, went through so much.

He knew your tells, knew when he had disappointed you in some way. He had gotten pretty good at finding that one out in your young-love phase.

The classic friends to lovers teen romance. The kind that the neighborhood gossip would say "I told you!", "I knew it, they were meant for each other.", And the nosy "they're parents better watch them. They'll have a grandchild on the way before they can blink." That was something you both chose to ignore.

Like numerous other things.

•••••

You were both 15 when you decided to take it from friends to girlfriend and boyfriend. It's embarrassing how giddy you were after Steve had asked you out, kicking your feet and telling all of your friends.

It just felt right. He made it feel so easy.

The dates were nice. The way you acted didn't change, you just began to kiss and hold hands slowly after. And it eventually escalated.

~

Your chest heaven in pure bliss.

Reaching forward, you pushed some hairs out of his face. His eyes fluttered open for a split second, searching your own. His iris danced in yours, mapping out every speck of color.

"God, I love you."

His eyebrows furrowed.

You had whispered it so quietly. Maybe he heard you wrong.

Dropping beside you, he let you take his hand, rubbing your finger over his knuckles, your naked bodies beginning to intertwine in a new position.

You had this glow about you right after, you always did. He couldn't look you in the eyes right now.

But he couldn't help himself. He glanced up at you, seeing you looking at your conjoined hands. You looked as if you hadn't said those words. Maybe they just slipped out, you didn't mean to.

"I can't love you." He quickly added to that, after your head shot up to look at him. "I can't love anybody, I don't think. Y/n, I," he moved to sit up, you doing the same. "I like you, I really do. I have for a long time, and I intend to do it for much longer. Love just isn't something I have felt for anyone. I can't picture myself feeling a certain “love connection” to somebody. You know?" He really didn't know how to explain it. He had felt something with you. Something he hadn't felt with any of his other friends. He doesn't know if he'd call it love, though.

You couldn't say you didn't understand. What if what you thought was love, wasn't? You were kids, you most likely didn't know what love even is or what it feels like.

"Yeah- okay." Slowly nodding, you tried to find the words. "That's okay. You don't have to love me. What I feel for you is love, I think. We have plenty of time to figure it out, right?"

He nodded, his shoulders relaxing and a lazy smile making its way onto his face. "Yeah."

Everything was fine after that. Your feelings never changed.

It wasn't until Steve had run into this girl. You had seen her around school and around town. But you never talked too much.

She seemed to find him interesting. Who didn't? He had become popular in the early years of high school.

You didn't think anything of it. Maybe you should've.

"I forgot!" Steve threw his arms up in the air.

"For the third time? I reminded you." Your voice was louder than your normal tone. You were too exhausted to yell. Waiting at the little café for 2 hours the 3rd day in a row was embarrassing and tiring.

"Wha-when?"

You just looked at him.

"Before 1st period, Steve."

He threw his head back, looking back at you with a look of realization. He wasn't about to give in.

"I could barely hear what you were saying. You know how loud the halls get, c'mon."

"Or maybe you were too busy gawking at Nancy."

His head shot up to look at you in disbelief. "What does Nance have to do with this?"

"‘Nance’? Are you kidding me?" Didn't know they were in the nickname phase. He rarely used any nicknames for you. "You know what, whatever. I'm not arguing with you right now." You had to study and it was already late. You really didn't want to focus too much on how your relationship was slowly breaking to pieces along with your heart. There was plenty of work you could do to distract you.

"No, hey," As you tried walking away, Steve reached out, grabbing your arm and softly pulling you to stand in front of him. His hand moved to your face. "Let me make it up to you, yeah?"

"I have to study."

"I'll help you study after." His fingers caressed your soft jaw, waiting for your response.

You sighed, "Fine."

There wasn't a point where you two sat down and broke up. You just kind of grew apart. You were done trying to fix something he couldn't care less about.

Pushing the fork around your tray absentmindedly, you tried to ignore the high-pitched laugh of Karen and the stupid conversations that happened on that table. The table you once sat at with Steve, talking about anything and everything. When he got those remarkable friends of his, you stopped talking. A person can only handle so many interruptions and digs from Karen and Tommy before you just decide to keep to yourself.

Your chair didn't stay cold for long. Nance sat down, and it looked like she fit in nicely.

Nearly 10 years of friendship and 3 years of a relationship all down the drain. It hurt, It really did.

It didn't help when you ran into Nancy at the store and she was the sweetest thing. She had even asked you about how you and Steve were doing. You found it weird. How were you to respond to that? Choosing to shrug it off led her to ask Steve about it. And with the pity look she gave you when you locked eyes in the school hallways, you guessed he gave an answer you wouldn't like.

Why did he look at her like that? Did he ever look at you like that? It hurt your brain to watch them from across the room. You should keep your eyes away from them. But it hurt more to know they were having a great time-together while you were in a corner, alone at the party. Chugging the rest of your pungent beer, you beelined to the kitchen to get a refill.

"Y/n."

"Steve." You didn't turn around, instead pouring your solo cup to the rim.

"Enjoying the party?" He sounded like he was talking to a friend. Once he hadn't left to feel like shit.

"Yeah, fun. Real fun."

The awkwardness between you was obvious. If someone were to walk in, they'd know something happened. Something not so good.

"So-"

"Nancy seems nice."

After getting over the shock of you interrupting him, he smiled. Actually smiled. "Yeah, Nance is great."

Was he not seeing your hurt? How could he be so blind? Of course she's wonderful.

"Um, about us-" so he had thought about you, what you two were. Maybe he could actually tell you exactly what it is, what game you were unwilling playing.

"What about us?"

"We're cool, right?"

What? We're cool- how are we cool? Leaving someone without any explanation as to why doesn't make you two cool.

He must have seen the pure confusion.

"It was a mutual decision." It was more of a statement than a question. He seemed so genuine.

Choosing to just nod, you didn't know what else to say. It was over. It had been for a while. Perhaps you were the blind one.

A few drinks in, you two were leaning against the countertop, talking like friends again. Talking about everything and anything. Maybe it was the alcohol that made you feel so relaxed and calm to be around him. You were just two friends catching up.

"I think I love her." Steve hiccuped.

Suddenly you were sober.

He continued to hiccup nonsense as you got quite.

Your mind was running a mile a second. He can easily love her but he couldn't love you? Your eyes caught sight of Nancy in the crowded living room. She easily talked to the people around her. It was easy for her. Men could drop to her feet and she wouldn't be fazed. She carried confidence and beauty. You got it, you really did. She was Nancy Wheeler.

"I need to go."

"What? C'mon, y/n, don't go." Steve slurred, watching as you put your cup down.

"It's getting late." You were off before his intoxicated mind could register you moving through the people and out the door.

He shrugged it off, bringing his own cup back to his lips.

It took 3 weeks after that party for you two to talk again. He came knocking on your door, broken and confused. He didn't know what to do. You didn't have to help him. But he was your friend before your boyfriend. You'd always be there for him, no matter how much it would hurt you.

As he cried in your arms, you held him, soothed his sobs and told him everything was going to be alright. Something no one did for you while you sat, sobbing on your couch or in your bed, not knowing what you were to him.

And you continued to be there for him until he went back. They figured it out and it left you alone, again. But it was okay because he was happy again.

You two went back to not talking until they got into an argument or took a break. You were always there.

It was a constant back and forth. An emotional rollercoaster not only for them, but for yourself.

You were helping a friend, so why did it pain you so much? It shouldn't.

Steve's knuckles against the oak door faded to the back of your mind as you continued to read the same paragraph over and over. "Y/n?" He called out. Glancing back, he made sure he hadn't imagined your car in the driveway. "I know you're home." He hiccuped.

It pained you too, you know. As he was hurting, your mind and heart was too.

Choosing to ignore him would be the first, the hardest step to peace, to happiness. It was time to put your emotions first.

He wouldn't stop everything to make sure you were okay if you were in his position.

•••••

"Talk to me, y/n." The way he leaned against the door had you deeply inhaling. He looked different. His hair had grew, it laid messy on the top of his head. The eye bags under his eyes were more prominent. His dark eyes still held the same shine.

"Steve, I was literally about to leave."

The music from the party downstairs had your head aching with every beat. The sound of a party with your friends seemed fun, until it wasn't. They had left to do their own thing. Going back home sounded nice.

"Can we go outside then? I miss talking to you."

Your mouth shut in distaste. You didn't want to talk to him. All the progress you made would be thrown out the door with those puppy dog eyes.

Reluctantly, you stepped back to sit on the guest room bed. Steve shut the door, walking over cautiously.

After a long moment of silence, Steve spoke up.

"Did I do something?"

No? Yes? Fuck.

"You know I would never deliberately do something to make you upset. You're my best friend-"

"That's actually why I'm upset." You blurted before you could help yourself.

He looked beyond confused. "What?"

It was your turn to get everything off your chest. With a big inhale, you poured your heart out. "We were more than best friends. I don't know about you, but that time meant everything to me, you meant everything to me. Until Nancy came along. You just discarded me like I wasn't your girlfriend, Steve."

For once, he didn't know how to respond. Steve stood there, just staring at your face.

Having about of his silence, you got up and walked to the door.

"You asked. Having to put your feelings before mine when you broke my heart without knowing or caring, was too much. I hope you and Nance are good, really."

-------------

•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•

•My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [!I don't give permission!]

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for threatening to get my best friend sectioned?

This actually happened 2 years ago, but last night he made a joke about it that kind of seemed like he might still be mad at me about it. So. Anyway, ages and all are written as they were at the time.

For context, my (18m) mom took guardianship of my friend (17m), called “J”, after his grandfather passed, a few months before this happened.

Not going into specifics, but J has struggled with OCD and an ED for years, and I suspect when he’s an adult he’ll probably get diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder at some point.

(Update from the Present: no dice… yet.)

A close family friend of his passed away and it caused his mental issues (particularly the ED) to get a lot worse really quickly.

Even thought my mom was technically his guardian, she kind of relied on me to keep tabs on him because he’s usually pretty honest with me compared to other people. Like, if he’s not doing well, I have the best chance of finding that out.

So. His family friend dies, he gets worse, I report all of this back to my mom, who starts trying to get some sort of more intensive treatment lined up for him (difficult and time consuming because of where we lived at the time).

My mom tells me not to tell J, because he “talks a big game” about not wanting treatment or whatever and she firmly believes it’ll be easier if he doesn’t have time to stress himself out about it before it happens. Okay. So I don’t tell J.

Somehow, he finds out anyway, and also finds out that I knew and had chosen not to tell him, but doesn’t tell me that he knows. (Convoluted, I know, sorry.)

I pick J up from an after school thing one night, we end up talking about pretty heavy shit in the car for a /long/ time, and after the conversation died, he put a hand on my shoulder, leaned over, and kissed me. And like not a short kiss either. It was like a 3 to 4 second kiss.

Context again, I realized I was gay and that I liked J in a not particularly friend-like way when I was 13. I never told him and never planned on telling him. I told him a lot of things but I intended on growing old and dying with that one kept nice and secret. Even if he was some form of not-straight, which I was 99.99% sure he wasn’t, I didn’t think it was worth jeopardizing my closest friendship with romantic and/or sexual feelings that could at best confuse him or make him uncomfortable or at worst outright disgust him.

Anyway. We don’t talk about it, I end up going to stay for a few days with a guy (20m but not really relevant) I’d been sort of seeing/sleeping with for a couple months because I literally couldn’t be in the same house as J or I would probably implode.

Fast forward a week, I’m picking J up from a hospital 2 towns over because he ran away (? unclear really, haven’t discussed the particulars w him and I wasn’t staying at home at the time) and ended up having to go to the ER.

In the car (best time to talk to someone because they can’t run away), he apologizes for kissing me. I’m thrown off by that, because he hadn’t said anything up to this point and it honestly wasn’t even in the top 5 things I was thinking about.

I asked him why he did it and he just sighed and explained in this tone of voice that, I don’t know how to explain it, but had just the right lack of empathy or affect that I knew he was being 110% honest.

Condensed version: he found out I was reporting everything he told me to my mom (still don’t know how). He was pissed. He was aware he needed more intensive treatment, and he knew my mom was aware. He did not want treatment. He knew I had liked him for years. He knew that I was relatively fragile about it. He knew that if he did something (like kiss me for example) there was a good chance it would break my brain and I would freak out.

He essentially kissed me to decommission me for a few days so he could formulate a plan to run away.

FINALLY we have arrived at the AITA part.

After hearing all this, I tried very hard to come up with something rational to say, but ended up saying (essentially), “You’re fucking insane, and I’m telling my mother you need to be committed.”

I know I wasn’t wrong to be angry. But I also know from past knowledge and experiences that he had a deep fear of being deemed “insane” or unfixable or whatever, and also that he was really afraid of treatment in general.

Idk. I go back and forth on whether or not I was out of line, or needlessly escalating the situation, by threatening him. It was a much bigger threat in his mind than it was in mine, and so even though I know I said it as a reaction to a fucked up situation, there’s still the idea that I blew it completely out of proportion and weaponized his own mental issues against him.

So AITA for threatening my best friend by telling him I was going to get him committed to a long term psychiatric hospital?

What are these acronyms?

[femmesandhoney]

Decided to watch the Lily Philips documentary on Youtube since I have been thinking about and talking about it so much anyways, but my initial thoughts are mostly all how lovely she seems. Like Lily genuinely seems super sweet and naive, but very friendly to Josh, the documentarian, and overall seems nice. She's quite open about her "career" as an OnlyFans creator, even making a porn joke to the taxi driver casually.

Her self-esteem is in the ground. Like, five minutes in and she makes a statement about how sex is the only thing she's good for. She worries constantly about making sure the men raping her are having fun and a good time, she was extremely promiscuous in college and dropped out of getting her degree to pursue pornography because it seemed more fun and rewarding financially. Her family didn't seem to try that hard to convince her to stay in college, I think they all saw dollar signs above her head. She also has no sexual safety concerns in the slightest, again Josh had to kind of explain that what she was proposing to do with the 100 men could lead to her catching an STD and she just seemed a bit surprised and clueless. She seems to prioritize letting men do whatever they want with her over her personal health and safety, which is so worrying. Josh having to ask if they did criminal background checks and her saying no, like this complete stranger having more concern and care for her safety and the logistics of this event is wild. Why are none of her team, her friends and family, not doing any of this obvious work to make sure she's safe at least?

About half way through the doc, Josh says he straight up just doesn't believe her that she gets serotonin from some of these sexual encounters and she goes onto to discuss how she doesn't think people realize how happy this makes her and that they view her as a bit sad and that it's all "far from the truth". It's actually kinda well juxtaposed in editing/placement, because you really get the sense that she isn't that happy and that, yeah, it is sad and concerning that all she seems to view herself and her self worth from is being a sexual object for others and making porn day in and day out. Like it really makes you go, well no Lily something definitely isn't right here.

The actual "event" itself was hard to watch, made even more dark by the fact Josh and his team weren't allowed in to film most of the day so you get a lot of foreboding shots of the airbnb. As much as Josh seems genuinely concerned for Lily, he's a stranger to her and the event precedes because Josh at the end of the day wants to make a video and, in much a similar way, exploit her trauma for his own financial gain here too. But it's obvious that the event was gonna be bad, from the way she starves herself through it, her apprehension before it starts, her assistant sucks so much my god like I do not trust her around Lily at all. Lily herself compares the experience to being a prostitute, where she was dissociating and robotic in her actions. And I'm like pretty sure anyone could have guessed that that was gonna be her experience, poor woman. I'm pissed off no one in her life seemed to want to protect her from herself here, she seems way too eager to view herself and her body as for men's pleasure only. Even by the end of the night she tries to explain away her crying as being sad about some of the men not having a good enough time. It really does read as a form of trauma, self-harm, and overall I'm very concerned for her and whatever's happened in her personal life to make herself view herself this way.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Sirius had a strong knot on his throat right now.

He had to be a supportive friend for Remus. He had promised himself that. That no one would break them apart again.

Now that Remus had come out as gay, Sirius didn't mind, he was being very supportive.

What he didn't expect was to hear Remus talking about boys. Not a lot of boys. Just generally who he found fit at Hogwarts. And then worse, the bloke he had a crush on for years.

His name was Grant Chapman. Funny name, wasn't it?

Apparently he was older, wiser, with more experience. Remus had many fun stories about him that seemed out of an action movie. And he was the friend. The best friend that Remus had when he needed the most. The one that had taught him a lot of things like drinking, and smoking and kissing. The one who had been supportive through his transition. The one who had been there when his mother died.

It was not that Sirius thought Remus hadn't had crushes before. Well, it was kind of weird because Sirius didn't think about that aspect of Remus's life at all.

Now that Remus was openly gay with everyone and was telling Sirius about Grant, Sirius wanted to tore something apart. He didn't know why. He should be happy for his friend, right?

Maybe because he thought there had been someone else there for Remus when Sirius should have been.

"So, yeah" Remus chuckled as he stared at his cigarrette "I was an idiot who had a silly crush when Grant had a new boy each week"

Grant was also very gay which was worse since Remus had more possibilities to be with him.

Sirius tried to disguise his anger? What was this anyway? He just nodded and continued smoking.

"Although Grant was one of those crushes that are fleeting" Remus added as he blinked.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked curiously.

"One of those crushes when you idiolize the other person because they are unreachable. But can be over fast as well" Remus explained "It is definitely not like being in love"

Sirius found himself smiling like a silly schoolgirl.

"So, you don't love Grant"

Remus's eyes focused on Sirius.

"Oh, I love him" Remus said, making Sirius freeze for a bit "But like you love James..." Sirius let out a soft breath "My heart doesn't belong to him"

Sirius hadn't snogged James, though.

Sirius snorted "You're a sappy romantic, Moons"

Remus smiled "What?"

"My heart doesn't belong to him?" Sirius asked clearly mocking.

Remus rolled his eyes "You think it is funny because you haven't fallen in love"

Sirius raised an eyebrow "Oh, so you have?" he asked, and his heart started beating fast for a reason "With Grant?"

God! Why did he sound so pissed?

Remus simply shook his head. He mumbled something that sounded like "With someone else" but Sirius wasn't sure.

"What?"

Sirius wasn't sure for the poor light. But he could have sworn Remus was blushing.

"I said I haven't" Remus answered with a soft giggle in his voice "I just read many romantic books"

Remus kept smoking and silence while Sirius raised an eyebrow. He decided to look at the beautiful stars tonight. Next to the moon, of course.

"So, that's how you spent your summer?" Sirius commented, trying to sound indifferent "With your friend Grant?" he smirked "Is that why you ignored me?"

Remus looked up in alert.

"I didn't ignore you"

"You ghosted me all summer, Moony" Why did it sound like a claim?

"You ghosted me as well, Pads" Remus shrugged.

"Just because you ghosted me first!" Sirius said, trying to tease. "All to be with your bff"

Remus laughed, making Sirius feel a nice sensation inside of him "My bff? Jealous much?"

Sirius shrugged, being dramatic. Maybe he was...

Remus's smile disappeared.

"I didn't know you wanted to talk to me"

Sirius frowned "Why not?"

"Because of what happened before leaving Hogwarts..." Remus said as he swallowed nervously. He wasn't looking at Sirius. Only down.

Sirius knew too well what Remus was talking about. That first awkward kiss. Sirius had that image tattooed in his mind like a mantra. He hadn't stopped thinking about it. It was bloody torturing him. And he didn't know why.

Maybe it was because of what he had found this summer. How much he had been remembering when he was ten years old and Remus was his favorite person when he was Rosie. And how guilty he felt for the family he had. How much it hurt to lose Remus before.

"What are you talking about?"

However, it was better to play dumb. Because talking about it was Sirius's worse fear. Facing his confusing feelings, was his worse fear.

Remus looked disappointed.

"You don't remember?"

Sirius acted confused. "No, about what?"

Remus was clearly blinking away his anger.

"Before climbing the train... Our dorm... We were packing..."

Sirius remembered every single detail of that day. However he shook his head, acting clueless.

"Seriously? Are you that dumb?"

Sirius swallowed his tears "Yeah, siriusly" he joked like an idiot.

Remus took a deep breath and looked away.

"Forget it, Sirius"

Remus was clearly pissed and Sirius felt like a fool. He was such a coward.

People said he was cool, reckless and brave. But in reality he was a scared little boy that couldn't admit what he felt.

A stupid boy that couldn't admit he wanted to kiss Remus again. So badly.

"Faggot! A cissy boy just like your Uncle" a voice that sounded like his father screamed inside his head.

"Fuck it, I don't care!" he answered to that voice.

Sirius's heart was beating so fast, it should be dangerous. He felt a shot of adrenaline rushing through him.

"You mean this?"

As soon as Sirius finished saying that, he grabbed Remus's neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

And when their lips touched, Sirius felt fireworks inside his tummy and goosebumps all over his skin. Especially when Remus kissed him back.

It was ten times better than their first kiss when Sirius panicked. Sirius knew now how much he wanted this as long as he didn't think about what it made him. But it was clear as water how much he cared for Remus. How much he loved him. Even if he didn't know in what way.

More, more, more and more of this. His brain was yelling. How could we live without this?

Remus seemed to be thinking the same. Because he kept going. He kept opening his lips for Sirius. He let Sirius ran his fingers through his hair.

They only stopped when they were out of breath.

"Is that...What you... Meant?"

Sirius could feel his cheeks on fire and he was clearly catching his breath. It would have been awfully embarrassed if Remus wouldn't have been the same.

And how adorable did he look. Damn.

"Yeah" Remus nodded, still mesmerized. He let out a soft giggle "But that was so much better than the last one"

Sirius couldn't avoid smiling embarrassed.

"So, you remember"

Sirius snorted "Of course I remember, Moony"

"You dumbass"

Sirius laughed.

Remus seemed so happy, he touched Sirius's hair, which sent shivers down his spine.

"Yeah" he chuckled "But it is not a big deal, ok?"

Remus stop smiling "What?"

"Don't get hooked, Moony" Sirius said nervously "It was just like with Grant this summer. Just an innocent snog... To break the ice" he snorted at the end although he was dying inside.

He was so embarrassed with Remus and himself that he wished he could go back in time and never give in with his desires.

Remus looked disappointed, sad or angry. Sirius didn't know.

"So, you didn't want to kiss me?"

"Of course I did!" Sirius exclaimed immediately only because Remus looked like a lost puppy "I liked kissing you" he smiled slighty and touched Remus's cheek "But I am not looking for a relationship or anything, you know? And I don't want to ruin our friendship or hurt you"

Remus frowned, trying to consider what Sirius was saying. Sirius was kind of panicking thinking he just fucked everything up between them.

"So, you want to continue snogging me?"

Sirius didn't know what was the correct answer here.

"Just as friends?"

Sirius didn't know how much he needed Remus's lips until he tasted them for the first time months ago. But it was not only about that. It was about Remus and what they had. The beautiful relationship they had rebuilt. The jokes, the dynamic, the closeness, the peace Sirius felt around his friend.

"Isn't it what you used to do with Grant?" Sirius asked carefully.

Remus could have told him to fuck off. But he didn't. Instead, he said:

"Yeah, I guess. Although I didn't know you were into blokes"

"I'm not!" Sirius snapped then he sighed "I mean I like you. I like kissing you" he shrugged "What's the big deal?"

Remus leaned in and Sirius thought he was going to kiss him again. Like an idiot he expected it with bloody desire.

"I don't want to ruin our friendship either"

"We won't" Sirius swallowed as he stared at Remus's lips "I promise"

When Remus kissed him this time, Sirius melted immediately into it. It felt amazing. He hadn't liked to kiss someone this much. He mostly did it with girls because he thought he was supposed to. Not because he needed their lips like air. Not because he wanted to merge into one with them by kissing them forever.

What was Remus doing to him?

After what felt like ages of intense snogging because none of them wanted to stop, they had to eventually catch some air.

Eventhough Sirius loved it when Remus placed his forehead apong his, it felt like it was getting out of hand.

"You could love him, couldn't you?" a voice said inside his mind. "What if you already do? Remember how you felt on the top of the world when you were ten and he was around? Remember when you felt like dying when he left?"

"Oh, do you miss your little girlfriend, Sirius?" his mother used to ask with a mocking tone when she caught Sirius crying "Well, it seems she has forgotten about you"

"NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! ROSIE IS MY BEST FRIEND!"

"More girls would come, Sirius" his father would say, he didn't believe his son was so weak to cry for someone "Prettier girls... My son doesn't cry like a cissy for a silly girl"

What a pair of arseholes his parents were.

Sirius broke apart in alert.

"So, do I kiss better than you friend Grant?" he said to break the ice.

It worked because it made Remus laugh.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night" Remus said and Sirius gasped.

Then Remus added "Yeah you do"

Sirius's heart jumped inside his chest. They smiled at each other with blushy cheeks they were so pathetic.

"Soooo....." Remus snorted.

Sirius chuckled.

"I do have to remind you" Remus smirked "That we are students and we have to come back because it is getting late and we have class tomorrow"

Sirius groaned, dropping his head back. Remus giggled.

"Alright!" Sirius shrugged "Let's go"

Remus didn't move though. He kept staring at Sirius in a way that it was out of this world. In that instant, Sirius felt perfect and flawless under Remus's eyes.

"Or maybe..." Remus took a step closer "It wouldn't hurt to snog for a bit longer... Let's say five more minutes?"

Sirius grinned so hard that his cheeks hurt.

He grabbed Remus's sweater and pulled him closer.

"That sounds great"

"Yeah?" Remus asked staring at Sirius's lips.

"Shut up, Moony, and bloody kiss me"

Sirius kissed Remus's giggle and in an instant, they got lost into each other's lips and melted into each other's arms.

Maybe Sirius was fucked.

[deadqueerboys]

Our show - Wilbur Soot x Singer! Male! Reader

Warnings: Cheating (M/n cheating on his partner with Wilbur), Wilbur might be a little asshole. Everyone is an asshole.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!!!

M/n frowns, he couldn't even explain how pissed off he was, all because of his stupid friend! Ugh, if he could call Wilbur as a friend.. maybe a co-worker? They just talk about songs or streams, which was amazing, so when Wilbur called him to make an appearance together with him, he thought it would be fun. When the concert ended, everything was looking clear. M/n sang the song he made thinking about his partner. The sweet and clingy lyrics made an amazing melody that both of they were playing in the guitar, different notes so they could explore it more. But Wilbur had to do it, specifically when a lot of people were seeing it.

They agreed on making a little act for the show. Obviously, it would be something more romantic, but never a romance between Wilbur and M/n! He even thought Wilbur had a girlfriend by the way he acts. Maybe he had.. was he a cheater? He doesn't seem to care about the fact of M/n dating someone. Wilbur got close to him again, suddenly making the dressing room look so tiny and tight. Wilbur's kind smile showed up while he placed his hand on M/n's shoulder.

"Come on, don't be like that, you know that was great!" Wilbur says in a lovely way, that was even worse. Wilbur had an idea of playing it like if they were telling a history, it would be fun if it didn't involve they both kissing!

"Great? Are you kidding me?! My partner is going to be so pissed off.. Act like a couple for a show it's already too far from my boundaries. Imagine cheating in the middle of my first show." He sighs, not even looking up. He keeps his head on his hands, speaking in a lower tone, making his best not to sound angry.

"You worry too much." He grabs M/n's chin, making he look at him before kissing him with passion. It was quick because M/n got pissed off and spread them apart, but Wilbur enjoyed it like a kid eating candy.

"Are you nuts?!" Oblivious to his real anger, he slaps Wilbur. He can't contain himself after that. He hits his shoulder and grabs him by the collar of his shirt, walking towards him until Wilbur is pressed against the cold wall of his dressing room. "I should fucking punch you.." M/n sighs angrily, resting his head on Wilbur's shoulder while still letting his grip tight.

"No need." Wilbur shrugs, bringing his head up to kiss him again, waiting peacefully for another slap when they get off of each other.

Instead, he's welcomed with a rough kiss and M/n pulling him closer with his grip. They both know it is a bad idea. Cheating right in front of the crowd might have an explanation.. but in the background, kissing with such harmony and passion like they did.. you can't fake that.

M/n is annoyed by his own temper, and he knows there's an easy and quick way of getting away from his anger. He kisses Wilbur again and puts his hands underneath Wilbur's shirt, his sweaty body feeling hot and nasty, perfect for the next action they were doing.

Wilbur wraps his arms around M/n's neck, grabbing his hair to get rid of his own stress and energy from being so close of who he believes is the love of his life, or just his fuck of tonight. He smirks and pets the boy's head, giving him a big hint of where to go.

He nods, guiding his hands down to be inside Wilbur's pants. At first, M/n moans in surprise with the feeling of the hard crotch being so ready for him. But quickly, he tries to recover himself and do a good job, using the skills he learned from a lot of years in a relationship. His hand moves to the tip and down on the base, certifying himself to give him pleasure and take care of him at the same time. M/n uses Wilbur's pre-cum and sweat to stroke him faster, making the situation more comfortable.

Even with that, he can't help but put his pants down, looking at Wilbur's cock like a prize. M/n cups him with his hand again, stroking him even faster and roughly as he comes back to feel anger. The thing is.. now he wouldn't stop. Fuck his partner and fuck the crowd, this is person. It's between M/n and Wilbur.

The older is begging, whimpering and biting his own lips so he doesn't moan too loud. He could even want to show people their romance, just not the beginning of their sexual life. Wilbur taps M/n's shoulder, his smirk being full of lust, and the thought of what might happen next.

M/n gets on his knees, stroking Wilbur's base while he takes the maximum that he can on his mouth. It feels too big, too large for someone who wasn't used to it. He takes it off and looks to the side. He coughs, pathetically.

"Oh, is it too big? Doesn't your little partner have such a length?" Wilbur teases, slapping his cock on M/n's face before forcing himself inside his mouth. He grabs his hair and guides his head down, the feeling of such a tight throat making he think that M/n might just be a dumb virgin after all. Wilbur doesn't hold much longer. He knows that if he does, M/n will have to explain more and more to his partner - or ex partner..

He rolls his eyes, his cum settling itself on the guy's tongue and throat as M/n swallow it with remorse. M/n gets up and looks at Wilbur, a frown on his face and a disappointment look on his sad eyes.

"Your office next weekend?" M/n asks, it isn't his type of stuff. His mind is empty, only with one strong thought and it was Wilbur's cock.

"Sure thing." Wilbur nods, smiling at M/n with hope.

[straylightdream]

unrequited hearts

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: seo changbin x f.reader & hwang hyunjin x f.reader

friends to lovers, unrequited love

↳ unrequited love is a bitch. Watching your best friend fall in love and get married is heartbreaking, but at least you have someone by your side.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.7k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, heartbreak, smut warning below the cut.

𝐚𝐧: I wrote this with reader being a plus size/chubby. I decided to reworked one of my old stories on here that I wrote back in 2021. This one definitely hit close to home when I wrote it.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: oral (fem receiving), unprotected intercourse, creampie, sex against a wall.

The undying love you had for your best friend was love you couldn’t explain. He was your sun and your moon and your true meaning for existing. The problem is he didn’t return your feelings. Unrequited love is a bitch.

Hwang Hyunjin is your best friend and the love of your life. He never really knew how you felt though.

When you first met the quiet and serious man you thought he hated you. He barely ever spoke to you and was left questioning if you did something to piss him off. It didn’t take long for him to let his walls down around you and you quickly learned what a kind and sweet person he is. You think the second time you ever spoke to him was when you started to fall in love with him. After seven years of knowing him, people constantly questioned if you were a couple. Once they discover you aren’t they would always ask when it’s going to happen. You always attempted to brush off this statement and would say you’re just friends. Completely lying to whoever asked and lying to yourself in the process. Hyunjin’s response was always different from yours. He would tell them, “it’s not the right time.” You always tried to tell yourself that this statement was a joke. That you’ve talked about how people think you’re a couple often, but he thinks you’re too good of friends. This might have something to do with the fact you aren’t exactly his type. Any girl Hyunjin has ever dated has been beautiful skinny girls, where you’re pretty average and with a soft and curvy body. It could also be that he cares about your friendship too much to risk it.

For as long as you can remember you’ve hidden away your feelings for him. You’ve never told a soul you’re madly in love with your best friend.

Two years ago you made the stupid mistake of agreeing to move in with him. He asked after a long day at work. You were sitting at a ramen place waiting for your food when he asked you to be his roommate. Every part of your body was screaming at you to say no, every part of your body except your heart that couldn’t seem to push away your feelings you shared for him. Like a complete fool you agreed to be roommates.

Living with Hyunjin brought some of the best moments in your life and some of the most heartbreaking. Sitting on your comfy blue living room couch he told you about a girl he met at work. You tried to brush it off thinking it was nothing. One week later Hyunjin was leaving the apartment for his date with the girl. Two weeks later you’re sitting on the couch reading when the front door opens and Hyunjin walks into holding hands with a girl who keeps giggling that can’t seem to keep her hands to herself. The sinking feeling in your chest you get at the sight of together is a familiar feeling that will never seem to go away after that night.

It doesn’t take long before Hyunjin is dating Eun. At first you try your hardest to push away the thought of them together. It’s hard to ignore the fact that he’s in a happy relationship when she starts spending more time in your apartment. The more time she’s there the more time you spend away. You bury yourself in work trying to keep your mind off Hyunjin and your heartbreak. Your best friend is madly in love and completely clueless to the pain you’re experiencing. The more serious Hyunjin relationship grew with Eun the closer you got with your coworker Changbin.

Seo Changbin was the only person who knew your true feelings for Hyunjin. He figured out you were in love with him when he found you crying staring at the engagement photo Eun had posted. Seeing their engagement photo broke your heart for many reasons. One being it was clear that Hyunjin was never going to love you back, and two was the fact you were blind sided by their engagement. Hyunjin never mentioned he planned on proposing. It hurt like hell that he didn’t warn you. It didn’t feel right that you found out through Eun's post.

Tears brimmed your glossy eyes as you took off practically running from your desk. Locking yourself in the bathroom stall you cried over your lost love. You cried realizing Hyunjin would never love you like you love him. You started sobbing and you couldn’t help it. Lost in a sea of emotions you didn’t even hear someone knocking on the door outside.

Your eyes pop open at the sound of Changbin’s voice right outside your bathroom stall.

“Are you okay?” He sounds concerned.

“Yeah I’m fine,” reaching up to push away your tears trying to stop crying.

“Did you want to talk about it? Because you don’t sound fine,” he knows you too well to know that you’re not okay. The moment you open the bathroom stall door he’ll be the first to see past the fake smile you attempt to put on.

“No.”

Changbin clearly doesn’t like that response because it takes him all forty seconds to learn how to open the bathroom stall. He stands there watching you cry for a short moment before he reaches down taking your hand. He walks you to the counter where the sinks are and tells you to sit on the edge. Sitting there with your legs dangling he gets a paper towel and wipes away your tears with cool water. His eyes are filled with sadness as he takes care of you.

“What happened?” He asks, finally breaking the silence that’s formed between you.

“Hyunjin is now engaged,” you don’t bother lying. There isn’t a point in making up some lame excuse to why you’re crying in the bathroom at work.

“Oh.”

“He didn’t tell me he was going to propose. I found out because Eun posted a photo,” closing your eyes you can still see the stupid photo in your head. You absolutely hated how pretty she looked, clinging to Hyunjin with one hand while she held out her hand with the engagement ring on it towards the camera.

“That’s kind of a dick move, that he didn't talk to you about it.” It’s reassuring to know that Changbin agreed Hyunjin should have told you.

“What do I even say to him when I get home?” you ask as he continues to sweep away the tears from your cheek.

“Congrats I had no clue you were planning that.”

“I hate that I started crying at work because of this stupid photo,” a heavy sigh passes your lips as a wave of embarrassment washes over you.

“Is it safe to say you’re in love with your best friend?” he asks, staring right at you. You wanted desperately to lie to him, to tell him he’s absolutely crazy for even thinking that. The problem is you can’t lie to him. You don’t want to keep you feeling buried away from everyone. You want someone to know the pain you’re feeling. It’s hard to put on a fake smile and act like you aren’t in love.

“Yes.”

From that moment on you and Changbin only got closer. You spent many nights in his apartment attempting to stay away from Hyunjin and Eun as they planned their wedding. He came over to your place after you congratulated Hyunjin on his engagement. You put on a fake smile and fought back tears, but luckily your best friend was none the wiser.

Changbin held you and rubbed your back when you stared at the wedding invitation Eun had personally handed to you.

You weren’t sure how you were supposed to sit in a church and watch the man you considered to be the love of your life marry someone else.

The moment he saw the invitation he asked if he could go with you. Telling you that you needed a friend with you. On a warm Saturday after noon in the middle of June you sat in a church in the second row with Changbin by your side. You’re dressed in a spaghetti strap blush colored dress with a pair of small heels on. He’s wearing a dress shirt with a pair of dress pants. His hand is laced with yours as he’s sat right next to you leaving no space between you. Your eyes stayed locked on Hyunjin who was standing in front of the crowd. The moment Hyunjin's dark eyes lock on his soon to be wife walking down the aisle your heart stings. Blinking back tears, you watch them exchange vows.

A tear streams down your face as Hyunjin says “I do”, and just like that your fantasy inside your head is finally over.

Standing in the middle of the dance floor with arms around Changbin's neck you try to focus on just him. Swaying to the beat of a slow song. You originally told him you didn’t want to dance but he practically begged you. His hands are wrapped around you resting just above your butt. You can’t feel his eyes burning a hole in you.

“YN?” he catches your attention. Looking up you find him staring at you. “You look really beautiful,” his sweet words cause you to blush.

“Thank you, you look really handsome.”

“Come back to my place tonight, please,” his statement catches you off guard.

“Changbin,” you aren’t sure what you plan on saying.

“You don’t need to be in the place you share with him,” nobody seems to understand you quite like Changbin does these days.

“I’ll be okay,” it’s a lie you won’t be okay. If you go back to your apartment you share with your best friend you’ll do nothing but cry yourself to sleep.

“Please,” he pleads.

“Changbin why?”

“Because I don’t want you to be sad anymore. Especially over a guy who was too blind to see what was right in front of him,” he stops swaying to the beat of the song and stares at you. His arms still wrapped around you holding you close.

“Bin,” his statement feels like a weight being put on your chest. You aren’t sure if you’re reading too much into it but it sounds like more than just a friend concerned for you.

“Can I cut in?” You look up to see Hyunjin standing there.

Changbin looks at your best friend and opens his mouth before quickly shutting it. You assume he’s biting back telling him no.

“It’s up to her,” Changbin finally speaks.

You want to say no, but you need to do this. You tell Changbin you’ll find him after the next song. That you need to talk.

Placing your hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders he rests his hand on your side and looks at you smiling. There is a sudden awkward tension between you. You can’t even look him in the eyes. Your eyes bounce around avoiding his gaze.

“So you and Changbin seem cozy,” you aren’t sure if he’s bringing up Changbin just to make small talk.

“Yeah he’s a really good guy,” you sigh.

Another slow song starts to play and Hyunjin clears his throat. Looking up at him you see he’s no longer smiling.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going to propose,” he sighs. Knitting your eyebrows together you’re confused on why he’s apologizing for this a year later. “I thought if I talked to you about it I would talk myself out of asking her.” You don’t understand his statement. Why on earth does he think you would try to change his mind? Even if you didn’t want him to marry her you would have never told him that. You truly cared about his happiness more than your own.

“YN you know you’re my best friend right?”

You nod silently. “Okay I love you so much,” he lets out a heavy sigh. You can’t tell if he means he loves you as a friend or if he loves you differently. All you know is his statement leaves your stomach twisting in knots.

“I love you too,” you say this knowing that you’re always going to love him. Even if he shattered your heart into a million pieces without meaning to.

Looking off to the side you see Changbin standing on the edge of the dance floor watching you. His normal happy go lucky smile is nowhere to be seen on his face. At this moment you would much rather be with Changbin than here with Hyunjin.

“I’m assuming you want to go talk to him. Something tells me I interrupted an important conversation with him,” Hyunjin says, removing his hands from you.

“I think it was an important one, but I might have messed it up.”

He reaches out brushing his thumb across your cheek for a quick moment before saying, “don’t let something good slip away from you. I’ve made that mistake so do me a favor and don’t do the same.”

Your heart drops as you stare at your best friend, “why did you let it slip away?”

“Because I was dumb and selfish. So do me a favor and don’t do what I did.”

Your head spins stepping away from him. You need to leave immediately, just being in the room with Hyunjin is too much. Walking quickly over to Changbin you grab his hand and tug him out of the room. Walking outside the warm summer air hits you and you take a deep breath.

“Did you still want me to stay with you tonight?” You look over at him.

“Yeah.”

Sitting on Changbin’s couch you’re still both dressed in your outfits from the wedding, except you’ve taken off your heels and Changbin has undone a couple of buttons and rolled up his sleeves. You’re watching a random game show barely paying attention.

“Do you plan on still living with him?” Changbin asks out of nowhere.

Looking over at him you find him staring at you. You haven’t thought that far in advance. You don’t really have anywhere else to go so living with Hyunjin is really your only option. You’ll just have to push back your feelings and live with the happy couple.

“I don’t know.”

“Please move in with me, at least until you find something else. Or you can just permanently live here. I have a guest room that you can have.”

You don’t understand why Changbin sounds so desperate for you to move in with him. You knit your eyebrows together processing everything he has just said.

“Why?”

“If I say something I need you to not get up and just walk away. I need you to listen,” he turns so he’s completely facing you on the couch.

“Okay.”

“YN I like you a lot, and not just as a friend. To be extremely honest the thought of you having to live with the man that broke your heart makes me sick. I’m asking you to move in so you can live with someone who’s not completely blind to what’s right in front of them,” he pauses and stares at you trying to judge your reaction to his confession. “If you don’t like me back it’s completely fine, but I still want you to move in. I personally think you need space from Hyunjin.” Everything he says makes you feel like your head is swimming. You feel completely lost, you couldn’t lie you had a crush on Changbin. You’ve had one for a long time. You’ve just been consumed by your love for Hyunjin. It’s left you unaware of the people around you.

“I’ll move in,” you say without really even thinking about it.

A smile spreads across his face, “we can talk about our feelings after a while. I know Hyunjin getting married is a lot to process. I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you being emotional.”

After that night you moved in with Changbin. Him and his friend Minho helped you pack up your stuff from the apartment. All of your stuff was gone before Hyunjin and Eun even returned from their honeymoon. The day before they came home you shot Hyunjin a text telling him you moved out. Your text said, “I’m sorry you’re finding out this way but I have decided it’s probably best for both of us that I move out. I want you to have a good chance and make your marriage work and I think we both know if I live there it’s going to put a strain on your marriage and our friendship. Don’t worry we’re still friends, love YN.”

Two minutes later you received a text from him, “you didn't have to move out. We could have made this work. I appreciate you caring about my marriage, but I want you to know I’m going to miss you. Love Hyunjin.”

You couldn’t respond to that message. You just closed your phone and put it away pushing away the feeling that we’re creeping up.

Two months into living with Changbin is when your feelings for Hyunjin started to fade and your feelings towards your roommate grew more and more each day. Your days were made when you would hear Changbin laugh over the dumbest things. You lived for the little touches you would get here and there. Changbin was starting to fill a hole in your heart caused by Hyunjin. Late nights sitting on the couch watching movies were your favorite. The first few you both sat on different sides of the couch, but now two months in you lay between Changbin legs with your eyes glued to the TV.

Three and half months in is when you've finally confessed to Changbin you’re falling for him. He only responded with a huge smile across his face as he said a simple, “finally.”

Four months in you’re officially a couple and you sleep in his room every night. You’re now to the point where you don’t think of Hyunjin everyday. Your mind only seems focused on the man who kisses you good morning even before you’ve brushed your teeth.

Eight months in is when you received a phone call from Hyunjin telling you that Eun is pregnant, Hyunjin says he wanted to tell you first. Before you can even process if you have any emotions, Changbin has you pressed up against the wall, as his lips nipped their way down your neck. Hungry hands roamed your skin under your sweater. Your mind feels as if it’s in haze as he whispers dirty things to you.

Your mind and heart don’t even seem to care that Hyunjin is going to be a father. You only actually care about the man who dropped down to his knees in front of you pulling your underwear down your thick thighs. Lifting your leg onto his shoulder he licks up your slit. Your head is thrown back as he pumps two fingers in and out of you. After sleeping together twice Changbin made it his mission to learn all the things that turned you on. Your fingers tangle in his hair gently tugging and earning a moan from him as he sucks in your clit while his fingers continue pumping into you. You come moaning his name loudly. Sitting back in his hunches he wipes his mouth, smirking.

“Are you done?” You ask, egging him on.

“Oh god, not even close,” moments later his pants are pushed down just enough to free his straining erection. He wasted no time wrapping one of your legs around his waist as he thrust into you quickly.

With his lips against your ear he whispers, “I love you.”

You don’t even have to think about it as you moan back, “I love you too.”

You’ll always care about Hyunjin. It’s impossible not to, but Seo Changbin is the one who owns your heart now. He appreciates you more than anyone ever has. He goes out of his way to let you know he loves you.

“Are you mine, baby girl?” he groans, snapping his hips into yours.

“Only your,” you whine wrapping your arms around his neck.

He continues to have you pressed up against the wall with one hand tightly gripping your thigh. His lips are nipping at your neck, slowly moving down to the junction where your neck and shoulder meet. He sucks on your skin with the intention of leaving a mark. One of your hand tangles in his hair again tugging once more to receive a hungry groan. The other hand claws at his shoulder.

You come screaming his name as a hot wave of pleasure rushes over you. He nips at your skin with a muffled moan of your name as he finishes inside you. Slowly pulling out he leans forward and presses a soft kiss to your lips.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too.”

Leaning against the wall with legs feeling like jello, he rushes off to the bathroom and comes back with a warm wash cloths to wipe away the mess he’s made between your legs.

You spend the rest of the evening curled up in bed with your boyfriend neither of you bother to get dressed. There’s no place you would rather be than in the arms of a man who fixed your broken heart.

Regarding taglist:

If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.

[nqmonarch]

happy valentine's day!! <3 honestly anything for aventurine is fine, probably like what are your thoughts about him?

Happy very belated Valentine's day! I hope yours was wonderful anon!

Anyway I think my thoughts about Aventurine are uh... definitely out there. Normally when I write stuff I like to read the character's little lore things and read over character's quotes to make sure I'm depicting them well but Aventurine doesn't have much of that and my overall thoughts on him are straight up just my thoughts which are...

Aw he's baby :). I can't take him seriously x.x like I feel like under that haha let's gamble it all away front he is both terrifying but also so weak and vulnerable. Like I want to hold him in my arms and tell him he has meaning but at the same time I think he may be some kind of masochist (hot), I don't know he just gives off those vibes he's like "use me, as long as it's fun." Like okay man.

Aventurine is both the most and least predictable person you've ever met. His existence itself is like a gamble you can never tell what will come next, will it be the cocky and confident Aventurine edging you on to take his carefully laid out bait? Or would it be the pathetic Aventurine hiding beneath the surface of all his actions who's begging to be comforted?

He acts so nonchalant for someone that cares so much. It was the only reason you still tolerated him. You also cared about Aventurine but he didn't need to know that. He also didn't need to know about the lengths you went to in order to keep him out of trouble.

The two of you getting together was a miracle in itself. Because Aventurine would've never asked you out seriously. He would've teased you about it, and about your lack of a partner. Maybe he would've made a bet or two to make you hang out with him on a date. But he was too scared of commitment to give it a label.

Of course he would be scared of commitment when everything he's ever had, he's lost and everything he's gained isn't his own. How else would he be able to gamble everything he knows to be true so easily? It pissed you off to an extent, and made you hesitant to commit. What if that fucker used you in a bet? He probably wouldn't but everything with Aventurine was a gamble.

So one day after the idiot had almost gotten himself in trouble, only to be saved by his luck, you had angrily grabbed him by his neck and pressed him against the wall.

You were fine with him betting nearly everything from millions of credits to rare items. He wasn't allowed to bet his life though. Not when you were around. Because his life was yours. You wouldn't let Aventurine die.

Through an unorganized and incoherent train of thoughts you tried to express yourself to Aventurine and at first he teased you,

"You really care about me that much? You're a better friend than I thought you would be, how useful!"

But as those thoughts straightened out more into a heartfelt confession he began to quiet and freeze. Maybe if this was a game to him he'd be able to maintain his light hearted facade but you hoped you meant more. You'd known him for a while after all, and better than anyone else.

Aventurine, struggling to articulate his thoughts, only nodded at the end. Then you kissed him. His lips were hesitant against yours but his hands gripped onto your arms tightly, refusing to let go. He didn't want to seem desperate, he didn't want to seem like he cared, but the silent plea of his arms wrapping around you spoke words.

For the most part he acted as a complement to your personality. When you didn't go after him, he went after you always in an attempt to sweep you off your feet unexpectedly. When you went after him, he'd lay still and let himself be attacked unable to defend himself as a blush rose up his neck to his ears and cheeks.

A serious relationship was something new for the both of you. And given how Aventurine acted, and how you struggled to explain your emotions, the two of you ran into communication issues often.

But despite it all the two of you made it through. After all how can one better express love than saving the other's life?

Aventurine had foolishly bet his life again, this time for some inconsequential thing. The two of you had been talking to a new "friend" of his, that ended up having ties with your past. As such they'd managed to come across some minor family heirloom of yours and for some reason trying to barter with it for information.

You could've cared less but Aventurine for some reason took the bait. Inviting this "friend" to a gamble, in which if he won then he would receive Aventurine's life and assets something you thought to be overly dramatic. If Aventurine won he'd receive the heirloom and the information you'd actually come here for, the information that would allow you to blackmail the government of this planet into giving into the IPC.

Aventurine managed to lose, but it's not like it mattered. Since your bullet was through his "friend's" head in the next second. As he died you registered a small clicking sound and shielded yourself and Aventurine as the body exploded. Really? What a pain.

"The IPC will work even harder to get you killed if they know about this," You couldn't help but mutter, a frown on your face, "Is there anyone left we can contact for this?" Aventurine still had more contacts than you unsurprisingly.

Failure was always met with death for people like him.

"You want to talk to more people than me?" He spoke with mock offense and before you could retort he held out some papers, "He was useful until the very end." He joked and you frowned.

Your voice was beginning to raise in anger, "Did you have to go ahead and bet your life?"

He took a step closer, the documents disappearing, "You made the opening for me. Come on, don't be mad," His voice was coy as he grabbed your hand in his.

You didn't like it when he bet his life. If he was going to take such poor care of himself then his life would be safer in your hands. Aventurine had already begun to lead the way to your next destination and your eyes rested on him, analyzing every detail. They continued without pause until they found his neck, you wanted to cover that barcode on his neck up with bites.

When you got back to the hotel room you were staying at you found the heirloom resting on the bed, and you let out an aggravated sigh. "That bastard... I told him I didn't care about it." And you didn't but you opened up the music box nonetheless and a tune began to play out.

A few moments after it began you felt arms wrap around you and hot breath on your neck. You closed your eyes and leaned into Aventurine, "Your life will always be the most important thing to me," You spoke softly.

He stiffened and then relaxed, "That's a terrible decision."

He was annoying. Hard to communicate with. He was also always a gamble, you could never predict him. But he kept life interesting, he was interesting, and amusing. You didn't want such an adorable person to die.

Maybe one day the two of you would be able to have a completely serious conversation but that'd be a while, and for now you were content with the man that loves you who you love back.

Aventurine trying to avoid affection like an insect avoiding rain drops but you're a motherfucking tsunami.

I CANT BELIEVE I FINISHED THIS IT WAS SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG

I started it like a week after I got it and then had writers block on what to do but anyway yeah this is my take on ya boy Aventurine. He's kinda pathetic but I'm into that.