#..task failed successfully??

[cloudsrust]

Ah yes- the "I imagined a panic inducing fictional scenario so hard I almost panicked myself" disease. Neat.

[the-golden-comet]

Please stick to ONE TASK, brain!!

🧠: No. :)

[likeprongstostars]

nurse, nurse she is out again and she is talking about something called fem jegulus to the other patients

[tryingto-survivethis]

Happy to announce the protests at my Canadian university successfully made me, a jew, go back to where i came from. I am back in Israel now 🫶

[nikolutke]

Running around the woods. 3am. Searching for your ghost friends who have been expertly evading you thus far. Accidentally taking a bad fall and breaking your leg. Still 3am. Middle of the woods. You’re bleeding.

AND THEN your ghost friends finally come out of hiding to help you! Pretty ridiculous that it took breaking your leg & becoming stranded to convince them to show themselves, but you’re just glad to see them again. You knew they were still here.

[b0tster]

you know its a pure coincidence that one of the bunlith images that was mockingly plastered all over every corner of the internet was sad bunlith during the worse graphics hate campaign

thanks for the countless dollars worth of free marketing dumbasses lmfao

totally unrelated but u can order sad bunlith push here :3

[steelthroat]

Undercover Optimus: *sucks at being a decepticon but is popular for this exact reason and is having a lot of fun*

Soundwave who can't read his mind and is very nervous about it: Lord Megatron, this mech is suspicious. I advise to-

Megatron glaring at Optimus'aft: I know it's that idiot, I just wanna see where he wants to go with this

[teastainedprose]

Hi !

Can you do a Homelander x F!Reader with a blackmail situation ?

For the context, someone's blackmailing Reader to leave Homelander and because of the stress she did it when he was patrolling. Of course, Homelander wouldn't accept it and try to find her but he can't. So a few days later Vought brought him a new "girlfriend" to heal the pain Reader "created" only for them to (by mistake) imply that they are responsible for the departure of Reader. After dealing with the situation at Vought, he went looking for her again, eventually finding her at her favorite spot, where she was trying to forget Homelander.

You can change some parts if you want 😁

Thanks you if you do it ♥️❤️

Listen, Anon. LISTEN! I am grabbing you by the shoulders, I am gently shaking you, I am lovingly cupping your cheek and whispering, "Write the fic." - because it's clear that you've got the plot and I bet you've been daydreaming up the story route and I need you to write it. Spit out some bullet points. Scribble out a few scenes out of order, but write it!!

As I read this ask while rolling out of bed half awake and ran off in a slightly different direction while I brainstormed in the shower and I know you've got an idea there so WRITE IT!! So I can read it

Now have something similar, but not quite what you outlined. This kinda evolved into a companion/epilogue?? piece to Play With Fire, as Vought would have plenty of reason to not want Homelander dating a canned employee, especially if she's a fat little thing. Bad for the brand and all.

+1.5k words | Warning for violence/gore, Homelander can have a little murder. As a treat. Plus-Sized female reader, established relationship, no proofreading as I was possessed

The moment his boots drop onto the balcony and Homelander strides into the penthouse, he knows something is wrong.

First, there is the absence of you. Not just the lack of your body settled on the couch waiting for him as you often are, but everything you touched. The laptop you diligently type away at while working is gone. The vibrant throw pillows you insisted on getting to make the imposing couch more inviting are missing. The plush blanket you always coiled yourself into wasn't haphazardly thrown over the back of the couch as it always is when not in service. The lack of these items now makes the couch look barren and cold. Now Homelander can see how uninviting the whole thing looks.

There are other pieces of you missing as well. The trinkets and baubles you'd purchased on a whim and set about the penthouse, coloring the space with pieces of you. The discarded books, many with notes and dog-eared pages weren't haphazardly stuffed in strange places. Homelander would check the bedroom, but he knows the closet now has an empty space where your clothing hung.

There's a buzz starting up in his brain, an insistent worry that's setting his teeth on edge as Homelander's mind races across every possible reason why you're gone. You left him. Someone kidnapped you. You finally got tired of him. Someone stole you away. You hate him. Someone is hurting you. The buzzing grows in volume as Homelander's lip twitches up, feet taking him to pace across the floor before a movement in the corner of his eye cuts straight through the noise.

The buzzing goes silent. The colors are correct. Relief rushes over Homelander as he turns to face the figure in full. You, there you are and- 

No. Homelander blinks, drawing back a step as he takes in the woman standing at the entrance of his penthouse. She has your hair color; the cut has been styled like yours, but the texture is off. She's got something close to your complexion, your eye color even, and she's wearing clothing in your usual manner of dress, but everything is wrong. For one, she's thinner. Homelander sneers.

The woman smiles, uncertain as her heart races like a rabbit against her ribs. "Hi." One word uttered and it's all wrong. That's not your voice. That's not your smile. There is no sunshine breaking across this woman's face as she looks at Homelander. Her expression is quiet and expectant, waiting. Anxious.

He inhales slowly, rolling his neck as Homelander clenches his fists at his side. The scent on the air is bitter. She's afraid. She should be.

"No, no, no. Who the fuck are you?" Homelander snaps out, across the room in two long strides and now she's gasping. Gasping because Homelander has his fingers about her throat, gloves creaking softly as his grip tightens and lifts her. "Who the fuck are you?" He repeats, barking the words out.

"I-I'm Vicky," She stammers out as Homelander eases up enough to let her breath and set her feet back on the floor. That rabbit heart is trying to burst free within the woman's chest now, beating all the louder. "Y-your er, new girlfriend...?" Her words end in a panicked squeak as the woman tries to shrink away. 

"New- "Homelander cuts off as he stares at her, head tilted to the side and lip twitching as he digests this bit of information. He swallows and takes in a breath, reeling in his rage as his mind whirls. Vought had decided to replace you. Plucked up some stupid woman who only shares a similar color palette with you, but she isn't you. This woman is nowhere close to the beautiful creature you are.

Vought didn't approve of your secret relationship. They'd deemed you unmarketable. Not the image they wanted to project for the brand. Then there was the hope that Homelander would grow bored of you. To wait out his hyper-fixation on you. The months had crawled by and still Homelander kept you close. You'd moved in, burrowed yourself right into his life as Homelander wanted. 

For some fucking stupid reason, Vought thought a replacement would distract him. As if he's a child, or a dumb dog they've swapped a toy out on. 

"Vicky," Homelander smiles and it's the smile of a shark. All teeth and dead eyes. "How lovely," A purr now as Homelander slides his hand down her neck and brushes his thumb over her collarbone. Her smile is uncertain, but it's still there as she relaxes. The rabbit in her chest calms down. He digs his thumb in as Homelander sucks on his teeth.

Fucking idiot.

There's no warning when Homelander's fist buries itself into the woman's abdomen, only a wheezing hiss as the air is forced out of her. A wet sound follows under all that crunching and grinding of bone as Homelander twists his fist and pulls it back. He clicks his tongue, releasing the woman's corpse to topple across the floor.

Homelander exhales, puffing out his cheeks while looking down at his fist in mild disgust. The red leather hides fresh blood well, but he knows it'll congeal into a darker mess soon enough. Leaning over, he absently wipes it off on the fabric of the woman's sunshine colored dress. The sunshine would look better on you while the smeared red looks better on Vicky as far as Homelander is concerned.

It doesn’t take him long to hunt Ashley down, storming into her office with eyes flashing red. The only reason Homelander doesn’t fucking laser her in two is because she’s crying. Ashley is crying and blowing her nose into a tissue as she looks at Homelander, eyes filled with regret and tears. She’s grown fond of you, Homelander realizes and that’s reason enough not to cave her skull in. Homelander knows you like her well enough, too. Ashley blubbers the story out. They’d wanted you gone. Out of the picture and out of his life. You were an uncontrollable variable that refused to play ball and Edgar wasn’t one for loose strings. A replacement had already been found and was on her way earlier this morning. While Homelander was out on a mission, disposing of you had been easy enough. It only took thirty minutes to pack all of your things, revoke your access to the building and effectively lock you out. Ashley had managed a helping hand in the form of a plane ticket wherever you wished, knowing you no longer rented your own apartment after moving in with Homelander.

It had been a plot against you, he knows this now but why had you gone so willingly? Why weren’t you screaming outside of Vought Tower for him? Why did you take that plane ticket? Something rotten wriggles within Homelander’s heart. He knows he’s not an easy creature to live with and has worn your patience thin some days. The start of your relationship would have been considered rocky at best and there’s all that stalking he did that you still don’t know about. They gave you an out and you took it.

His trip to the airport is swift and no one would dare try to stop the Homelander as he seeks you out at your intended gate. Except you’re not there. You’ve not even checked in yet. He goes to your old apartment next, eyes scanning the building for your form. Your favorite restaurant is next. Then the place that makes your favorite tea. After that he’s hovering above the bookstore you’ve dragged him to. None of them contain you. Homelander is lost for a moment, mind frantic with worry now at where you could be. Then he remembers one of your favorite spots. A park close to where your old apartment is and it’s another place Homelander has been dragged to by you. This is a spot he enjoyed. It was quiet, even in such a bustling city. He always pretended it was a forest clearing you two were enjoying the peace of.

You’re there. Of course you are. You’re settled on a bench, head turned towards the trees as Homelander descends. “Sweetheart,” He growls. It comes out harsher than Homelander wants, but he’s on edge. Why did you leave him? 

You jump, head snapping round and he can see you’ve been crying. Your eyes are puffy, face pinched in pain as Homelander’s heart seizes at the sight. 

“What!?” You stare a beat, before anger rises. You’ve always been his little spitfire. “You had me cast out! They packed me up and kicked me out on your orders! You- You abandoned me…!” The fire smolders and dies as tears leak down your face.

"No, no, no. Not you, never you!" In an instant, all of Homelander's rage vanishes in the face of your sorrow. How could you ever want to leave his side? Foolish of him to even think it. Why would you ever want to leave? He’s beside you, he’s gathering you up in his arms, he’s crushing you gently in his hold. Your sobs are wet, loud, and there’s snot on his suit. Homelander doesn’t care. He shushes you, fingers combing through your hair as the arm about your middle squeezes just a bit tighter. The weight of you sinking against him and into him is a comfort, your flesh yielding under his grip on you.

“I came home and you were gone,” Homelander whispers against your ear as he nuzzles his nose into your hair. He inhales deeply, all of the tension leaving his body as he takes in your scent. “But I’m here now. It’s okay, I’ve got you,” He exhales, pulling back enough to look down at you. Homelander smiles. You’re here, you’re safe, he will never ever let you out of his sight again.

[thedeadtravelfast]

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Respawn had no idea who this guy was. He had woken up on the forest floor somewhere after a fight with Robin that had admittedly ended poorly for both of them.

All his wounds were bandaged and looked after. He wasn't even in pain! A rare luxury indeed. Looking over he saw a guy around his own age cooking some fish over an open flame. The other teen, as if feeling eyes on him, turned toward Respawn and smiled.

"I hope you like green onions." He said, motioning towards the plate stacked high with the vegetable, "They're the only edible thing I could find."

The day dragged on with the guy-Danny- playing nursemaid and insisting to take care of Respawn as he recovered, even going so far as to cut his food for him. Hes pretty sure Danny would have fed him himself if he had struggled anymore with handling the stick the fish was on.

Blessedly his enhanced healing factor ensured that he wasn't down for too long and he could take care of himself. He couldn't bring himself to be annoyed with Danny though. He was actually rather grateful.

When Respawn asked why Danny was out here in the wilderness he sheepishly told him about how his mad scientist parents had made a portal to another dimension and had tried to create a portal gun for portable access to said dimension. They were showing it to him, his sister and his two friends when something went wrong and the gun went off, sucking them all into the new portal. He woke up in the forest alone.

Looking back on thier past conversations, Repawn decided that it made sense. It would explain why Danny didn't know what a meta human was or that they had rights protecting them. Danny had been so excited when he had told him and immediately began using his unholy number of powers to help them survive in the wild.

Aka Danny, Jazz, Maddie, Jack, Sam, and Tucker are all thrown into the DC universe and all of them have been separated and are worried sick about the others and trying to find them

[mamaspidershit]

Natasha: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Peter: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Natasha: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Clint: Hmm… I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free… not sure where you're getting your facts from…

[welcomehomeincorrectquotes]

Eddie and Frank's first date:

Eddie/Frank: *sitting together in terrified silence*

Eddie: *awkwardly* So.. um... I like your bowtie!

Frank: T-Thank you!

Julie: *whispering* Quick, Frankie, compliment him back!

Frank: *panicked* I like your back!

*five solid seconds of silence*

Eddie: *grins goofily* Aww, you do?

[prudentseer]

The Statue Saga. Edited all on my phone so excuse the choppy footage.

Joel: I'm going to make these so ugly that no one is going to like them, then blame it all on Etho. That'll get him!

Bdubs, Skizz & Mumbo: This is spectacular, amazing, breathtaking. I love it. I'm never taking this statue down.

I cut most of the actual building of the statues out since I wanted to move so focus on the reactions but if you want to see the actual building process I've written the timestamp below. Also there are more scenes that I probably missed or chose not to include so here are some more timestamps. I highly recommend you to check the videos/streams out for yourself.

Smallishbeans - Hermitcraft 10: Episode 14 [13:12]

Bdouble0100 - Hermitcraft 10: Bdubs Forest [5:47], [11:17]

MumboJumbo - Hermitcraft 10: Episode 12 [6:42]

Skizzleman - Hermitcraft 10: Episode 9 [3:35], [48:30] & episode 9 prep stream [1:43:44]

Grian - Hermitcraft 10: Episode 14 [2:44], [7:36], [20:11]

[luxthestrange]

TWST Incorrect quotes#520 Dilf Lilia

In Diasomnia, After Winter Vacation in Briar Valley

Silver: What's a DILF?

Lilia, chocks on his tomato juice: W-what?

Silver: I heard some ladies talking, Saying you are DILF...what is it?

Lilia: Ah, it means...

Lilia: ...

Lilii: A Dad Who Is Loving and Fantastic...

Months later

Yuu: I spoke to your father, He has told me a lot about you

Silver:, enthusiastic: He has?

Yuu: Yes, your Dad loves you so much

Silver: Oh Seven, He's a real DILF!

Yuu*Eyes bulge out sockets anime like*!?!

Yuu*Thinks about it and ponders the many times he has been helping you with grim*...

Yuu*Nods at him actually agreeing*Oh yeah... He certainly is

Silver*Coming back home*Father!Yuu agreed to you being a DILF!

Lilia: SILVER-...wait they agreed?

[07043012]

THEY LOST FOCUS IN THE FIGHT AGAIN!1!!

[tboom10]

Nice weather! What conspiracies are we cooking on the menu today?