#...is it bad that this got me happy stimming

[rebellum]

Keep your meds that you take as-needed next to where you spend most of your time. Mine are in a drawer right next to my computer.

You're not supposed to store meds in the bathroom because it gets hot and humid in their during showers

If you only occasionally use a cane, get a fold-up one and always carry it in your backpack. You can take it out on public transit, even if you have a seat, so that people don't judge you for sitting down. This is especially important if you're someone socially perceived as a young man.

There's no shame in "giving in" to your illness. Do what you need to do. Eg if you're having intrusive thoughts about a certain object, you don't have to force yourself to practice resisting it or practice moving on from those intrusive thoughts. It's okay to just put it in the other room so that you don't think about it. You dont need to constantly practice resistance, you need to practice active compassion towards yourself.

You can fill a pill bottle with various OTC pills are carry that around in your bag. Like I have a mixed-pill bottle that has advil, naproxen, and Tylenol in it, rather than bottles of those all separately.

This is just general life advice: it's good to buy things that will make everyday life more enjoyable. I know this sounds like "well, DUH" but guys I got a mechanical keyboard for Christmas and it makes me SO happy to use my keyboard. Invest in making your daily tools constantly enjoyable and pretty. Things can be better than 'good enough'

You don't need to be someone else's inspiration. You dont need to be the one pushing societal boundaries. It's okay to do what you want or to hide your illness if that's what makes you feel the most safe and comfortable. [Relevance: I'm a trans POC with mental health issues. I am in a position where I could help to normalise 'weirdness' like stimming, counting out loud, and being open about intrusive thoughts and hallucinations. It would be good to do that, because I'm a fashionable young middle class feminine person, so it would help to remove the association of those behaviours with drug users and unhoused individuals. If those behaviours are more normalized it also helps those people, since they are then seen as doing fewer 'bad' things. But it's scary! I'm an openly trans poc! If i get mistaken for being high I could have to deal with police. I'm not in America, I'm not in as much danger as Black Americans are, but I'm still at a much increased risk of arrest and violence. It's okay if I want to keep my mental health issues and neurodivergence on the down-low and not be some sort of activist.]

I've been disabled for almost 29 years. Here's what I've learned.

Tablets sink and capsules float. Separate out your tablets and capsules when you go to take them. Tip your head down when taking capsules and up when taking tablets. Liquigels don't matter, they kinda stay in the middle of whatever liquid is in your mouth.

If your pill tastes bad, coat it with a bit of butter or margarine. I learned this from my mom, who learned it from a pharmacist.

Being in pain every day isn't normal. Average people experience pain during exceptional moments, like when they stub their toe or jam their finger in a door, not when they sit cross-legged.

Make a medical binder. Make multiple medical binders. I have a small one that comes with me to appointments and two big ones that stay at home, one with old stuff and one with more recent stuff.

Find your icons. Some of mine include Daya Betty (drag queen with diabetes), Stef Sanjati (influencer with Waardenburg syndrome and ADHD), and Hank Green (guy with ulcerative colitis who... does a bunch of stuff). They don't have to be disabled in the same way as you. They don't even have to be real people. Put their pictures up somewhere if you want; I've been meaning to decorate my medical binders with pictures of my icons.

Take a bin, box, bag, basket, whatever and fill it with items to cope with. This can be stuff for mentally coping like colouring books or play clay or stuff for physically coping like pain medicine or physio tape.

Decorate your shit! My cane for at home has a plushie backpack clip hanging from the end of the handle and my cane for going places is covered in stickers. All of my medical binders have fun scrapbooking paper on the outside. Sometimes, I put stickers and washi tape on my inhalers and pill bottles. I used my Cricut to decorate my coping bin with quotes from my icons, like "I've seen enough of Ba Sing Se" and "I need you to be angrier with that bell".

If a flare-up is making you unable to eat or keep food down, consider going to the ER. A pharmacist once told me that since my eye flares can make me so nauseous that I cannot eat, then I need to go to the hospital when that happens.

Cola works wonders for nausea. I have mini cans of Diet Pepsi in my coping bin.

Shortbread is one of the only things I can eat when nauseous. Giant Tiger sells individually-wrapped servings of shortbread around Christmas or the British import store sells them year-round. I also keep these in my coping bin.

Unless it violates a pain contract or something, don't be afraid to go behind your doctor's back to get something they are refusing you. I got my cardiologist referral by getting in with a different NP at my primary care clinic than who I usually saw. I switched from Seroquel to Abilify by visiting a walk-in.

If you have a condition affecting your abdomen in some way (GI issues, reproductive problems, y'know) then invest in track pants that are too big. I bought some for my laparoscopy over a year ago and they've been handy for pelvic pain days, too. I've also heard loose pants are good for after colonoscopies.

Do whatever works, even if it's weird. I've sat on the floor of the Eaton Centre to take my pills. I've shoved heating pads down my front waistband to reach my uterus.

High-top Converse are good for weak ankles. I almost exclusively wear them.

You can reuse your pill bottles for stuff. I use my jumbo ones to store makeup sponges and my long skinny ones to hold a travel-size amount of Q-Tips.

Just because your diagnostics come back with nothing, it doesn't mean nothing is wrong. Maybe you were checking the wrong thing, or the diagnostic tool wasn't sensitive enough. I have bradycardia episodes even though multiple cardiac tests caught nothing. I probably have endometriosis even though my gynecologist didn't see anything.

You can bring your comfort item to appointments, and it's generally a green flag when someone talks to you about it. I brought a Squishmallow turkey (named Ulana) to my laparoscopy and they had her wearing my mask when I woke up. I brought a Build-A-Bear cat (named Blinx) to another procedure and a nurse told me that everyone in the hall on the way to the procedure room saw him and were talking about how cute he was. Both of those ended up being positive experiences and every person who talked to me about my plushies was nice to me. If you don't feel comfortable having it visible to your provider during the appointment, you can hide it in your bag and just know it's there, or if you're in a video appointment, you can hold it below frame in your lap.

Get a small bucket, fill it with stuff, and stick it in your bed (if you have room for it). I filled a bucket with Ensure, juice boxes, oatmeal bars, lotion, my rescue inhaler, etc. in October 2023 in anticipation of my laparoscopy and I still have it in my bed as of January 2025.

If your disability impacts your impulse control (e.g. ADHD, bipolar disorder), you should consider setting limits around your spending -- no more than X dollars at a time, nothing online unless it's absolutely necessary, and so on. Or, run these purchases by someone you trust before committing to them; I use my BFF groupchat to help talk sense into myself when I buy stuff.

Feel free to add on what you've learned about disability!

[shima-draws]

Just got back from seeing Sonic 3 and HOOOOOOLY SHIT y’all. Oh my fucking god. OH my god. Ohhhh my g o d

[unexpectedbrickattack]

.

[peridots-pixiwolf]

hey guess who is actually and without exaggeration crying over ultrakill

[butterfly-in-progress]

I was born with a mask

Or I might as well have been

I didn't even know what my own face looked like

As the years went on

I added to it

Layers upon layers caked onto my face

A protective shell

But you were by my side when there were cracks in it

You loved me when the mask was still new and didn't cover much

You were with me for so long, through so much

I thought

That after the long and arduous process

Of hammering at this ceramic

To chip away the layers

And let my face feel the sun

You would rejoice as I did at seeing my face

But instead I have to wonder if you ever loved me in the first place

And chip you off of my heart

[wxlfbitez]

me when my mutuals text me gm/gn or just message me for no reason

[autisticfaun420]

Autism and Fecal Smearing

I want to get this out of the way first so I'm just gonna say it, I struggle with this awful habit which is called diaper digging and fecal smearing, this post (and blog for that matter) I don't want to shy away from talking about this stuff. So yeah if I have a bowel accident, am frustrated/overstimulated/angry/sad, and am left alone for a few minutes I tend to do this. It's not as bad as before because I have preventative measures in place, like special onesies that make it so I can't remove my diaper myself (ughhh whatever...) and crunchy scented textured slime that my mom will add even more scent to just to make it overwhelming. The average number of episodes has been greatly reduced but I had one a couple weeks ago when my onesies were in the watch so the topic is fresh on my mind.

A lot of caregivers and autism parents are mystified and baffled by this habit and wonder why we do it. I can't speak for everyone, only myself, but to me personally the scent and texture of feces is so overwhelming and strong that I get a "high" from it. I take cannabis edibles daily and my parents let me get drunk once a month so I'll say its very comparable. I get a rush from it. My life can be so monotonous sometimes that smearing crap feels like getting away with a bank robbery, I go from extremely angry to feeling before then to like a happy giddy kid without a care in the world. I zone out so hard that I end up smearing it all over my face, walls, floor, and if it gets in my mouth I'm usually too far gone to care. I do not do it because I'm mad at my parents, I do not do it because I want to get back at them for something, I simply do it because my need for sensory input is so strong and when I'm about to go into a potentially violent meltdown I reach for the sensory nuke when my normal things to stim with just won't cut it. No high is complete without the crash and there's a crash. Seeing my parents and one of my unlucky friends SOOOOOOO unreasonably mad, it's terrifying. My parents got used to it and eventually just shrugged it off but I have heard them lose their cool over it several times and have heard my name and every cuss word in the book the room over where they clean. Not nice of them but I do not blame them one bit but the feeling inside hearing that is very real for me. I guess they got too good at shrugging it off. I had an incident where I smeared in the bathroom of one of my high school friends, very chill guy, look at me and scream at the top of my lungs, and punched a hole in the wall in the living room. I didn't know the painting he had in his bathroom was that rare but I ruined it completely and that's why he reacted that way. He could of done better but I do not blame him one bit. After that though seeing a side of that friend that I never seen before scared me into wearing the stupid onesie suit every day without fuss or a fight when before I would. Not only the suit but I have the replacement slime on me at all times, if I have a BM I tend to just pull it out and play with it. This doubles up as subtly letting my parents know I need a change, which I like cause I don't have to ask verbally which can feel kinda degrading sometimes. There is one good thing that has happened with this though. My hippie parents looked at my turd stained walls and thought I had some latent artistic talent and needed self expression and bought me art and painting supplies. They were misguided, it didn't prevent any incidents but I still took the art well. My therapist at the time had some art connections and the art I made was featured in what's known as an "outsider art" gallery. I sold a few pieces for 300-600 each. It's just a little bit bitter sweet cause if you've seen the King of the Hill episode about the Probots or just know a bit about outsider art in general, you'd know the way they market it is kind of, problematic to say the least. The gallery's artist profile for me made me out to be some kind of idiot dunce and made my parents look like heroic geniuses for spotting this talent or some shit and it's embarrassing that my artwork sold most likely cause of that over the strength of the art. Like oh wow look at this stupid R word who plays with poop his cool parents are soo smart, ughhhh. However I guess that's just the art game and I'm super proud of myself I made a couple thousand dollars of MY OWN money, it meant the world to me to have it. I'm not allowed to post my artwork on here and I wish I could share it with you on MY terms and not the gallery's but my parents are worried it could come back to my identity.

I want to end this post by saying if you engage in fecal smearing you are not stupid, broken, or filthy. You are a human being desperate for relief and you took the fastest way to get it. Shout out to all my autistic homies who smear or have smeared, I see you and you are loved.

[hoodedjelly]

UHH throwback to the gravity falls thing tell me ALL about your favorite character. EVERYTHING. what you hate about them, what you like. ect, go on a rant i love learning about the critters [personally my favorites old man mcgucket, more specifically post portal]

OH JOY GRAVITY FALLS!

I fear i must say i haven't thought or talked about gf for a good while, i might not remember a lot as i used to.

But my favorite character is Fiddleford Mcgucket, and that's through out his whole time on the show. To his college days, all the way to him being old man mcgucket. I fear i love anxious characters too much, the "sorry" photo of him explaining his first day in college literally made me tear up. he has such a big heart, all the gifts he gave to ford cause he knew he needed a "friend". BUT he also sucks cause of what he did to emma-may, and is just a canonically bad father. But he's also a deeply tragic character with what he went through, what ford did and what he did to himself. HE ALSO MADE A CULT, like idk why i keep forgetting that fact but like that's so crazy. In show old man mcgucket is just my fav joke character too, he has to many lines that are now just a stim of mine "mcsuck it... they got me good.....". then the happy ending he got but we don't see, yeah he got rich and a big house he can ghost hunt with his son. but he has so much recovery to do, to remember, like i LOVE fanart of post show mcgucket and their takes on him. i just know that it's not that easy to recover so i don't expect for him to look like ford, basically same as 30s him but gray hair.

i had a fiddleford animatic i was working on but i fear at the rate im going, im not going to finish it... SO im going to give the whole first draft animatic i have for it so far. I can always say "maybe maybe maybe!" but with where my life is going i just don't have that much time or focus.

historiography- the mountain goats

[blond3ang3l]

🌷♡₊˚geek lover! eren🦢・₊✧

———————————————————————

This is a remake of the already geek lover eren, but specifically a sfw version but I actually really love this story

———————————————————————

Eren is a geek lover. He absolutely is enamored with you. Watching your lips with every word you spoke. The way you got excited telling him about every single new detail of the things you got interested in. Eren worked hard as a famous rnb singer, long days in the studio trying to perfect his songs. Then having to perform when he literally had the WORST anxiety known to man. It always felt like someone needed him and was on his ass about something.

But he did it all for you. So you can have everything your heart desired. He left nothing behind when it came to you. You wanted to see a new sci fi movie? He already bought out the theater. There’s a new podcast you like? He’s downloaded all the episodes for you on both yours and his phone. Don’t even get started on books. On your first date you mentioned you like to read and study psychology in your free time. Once you moved in he had your very own book room built for you. Carefully picking out each book for you on his own. Your own desk and room for you todo your writings in. He even surprised you with a laptop and camera so you can start your own podcast! He just wanted to show you how much he loved and supported you.

For moment like this were he could come home and listen to you tell him. About the things you've watched in your huge list of video essays that you had in a playlist on YouTube. How you lit up telling him different facts from how the dating game killer had a coworker that also happened to be a serial killer and he didn't know to the conspiracy theory of the 27 club, no matter what you said it always made you so happy and seeing you all giddy and stimming while you talked to him made him so content with his life.

"I know cotards syndrome, Koro, Diogenes, fregoli, hypochondria, pica, capgras, boanthropy, apotenmophilia, kulver bulcy, ekbom, erotomania, Stendhal. Pics is like one of the more well known. You know that show my strange addiction that we watch together? Yeah so like those people who eat the random shit like the lady who ate rocks- omg that reminds me!"

You were sitting on his lap, yapping his ear off.His eyes couldn't help but wander to your legs which lead him to notice you were wearing his boxers. Your hands thick thighs were filling them out so well. His hands moved to grip them as he watched you talk. You’d kill him later for not listening but he just felt so much dread when he was away from you that he couldn’t help but just stare at you forever.

Erens ass was not listening one bit. He was watching you, watching your body. You guys had been apart for a little over a month so could do a very short tour in another country and he was sick as fuck that he couldn't bring you.Everyone knew it too. His attitude fucking sucked that trip. He was antsy, his anxiety was through the roof, he snapped at everyone, overall he fucking hated it. But now, sitting here with you he finally felt at peace.

“Rennie, papa are you okay? You’re getting all red. Are you feeling sick baby?”

You were worried, he had a bad history of getting sick easily. With him coming back from another country he could have likely caught something. It would hurt your heart to know he wasn’t feeling well.

“I’m fine baby. Keep going. I wanna hear you talk.”

“Are you sure baby? We can go lay down if you’d like.”

It warmed his heart how much you cared for him. You made him the man he was. He used to be so closed off to anyone that wasn’t your friends mikasa and armin. You taught him how to deal with the grief of life and got him therapy to get through the rough days of his depression. He just loved you so much and truly couldn’t imagine being anywhere without you.

“I’m fine baby, just missed you so much..”

For my girlie @merakidoll

[laswells-ashtray]

Okay, here me out on this. Gonna do this anonymously cause social anxiety is scary and I've never left an ask before, first time for everything I suppose. :')

I was randomly just watching the missions for MW3 cause I loved the concepts of some of them, just hated how most of it played out (Like how did Graves survive being blown up? Or how it felt like the story was rushed at points). Then I remembered the mission where Price got trapped in that silo thingy with the poisonous gas stuff that I cannot remember for the life of me what it is called (Think the mission was called Reactor,if you wanted to look it up if I don't explain it that well). Loved that mission cause to me it showed that Price wasn't this almighty powerful captain that doesn't get injured that badly compared to everyone else in 141.

Had a random thought of just the in-between part of when Price passed out to when he woke up on the helo. Was scrolling through the random posts and when I got to the one where Mac had met Price's team and stuff all I could think about was what if Gaz or Soap or anyone who's met Mac just tell Nik or Laswell to call for grandpa. I find it hilarious just the thought of Price's subordinates panicking over the fact that their captain, (and practically father figure sometimes due to how often he mother hens them), had inhaled poisonous gas then passed out and wanted help from someone who's known Price for years. Then cue Mac just showing up on base in Price's office or calling Price really late at night being like "You have 5 seconds to explain what happened and how in the world you got into that situation Mister. I do not care that you're a captain now I still hold seniority over you Price, I will pull that card you little shit." Cause despite the fact that Price was a pain in the ass when he was Mac's sergeant he still cares for the stubborn Brit's wellbeing.

Sorry if I started ranting, I love cod and finding the posts have made me do my happy stims. :) Especially reading the silly ones, always makes me feel better when having a bad day.

Made me get my glasses for this one, in a good way I'm just blind as shit. A little bit. Also never apologise for ranting, this is a safe place for ranting, rambling and threats of bodily harm but only if they're polite about it.

Firstly, I know exactly what mission you're talking about because I can't get past the second juggernaut and had to rage quit because I was giving myself a stress headache.

Secondly. I've missed writing more Mac if only because I have to write so English-ly for everyone else.

When the door opens, John doesn't look up. He assumes it's Nikolai coming to check on him, Ghost popping his head in to call him a twat again or one of the sergeants asking how he's doing. He doesn't expect to see the same, worn soles of some battered old boots that he's been trying to convince Mac to get rid of for over ten years park themselves on his desk.

Nor does he expect to see Mac watching him, arms crossed over his chest, and a look of blatant fury on his face that makes the hair on the back of John's neck stand up.

His chest is still tight and there's a familiar ache in his throat, he's too old to be getting fucking gassed anymore. Whatever cancer he'll be riddled with in ten years is not worth it.

"Well?"

He isn't stupid enough to answer that, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk. If Mac didn't look ready to deck him, he'd likely be lecturing John about "uncooked joints on the table".

"Jus no gonnae say a fucking hing tae me? Dae a luk like a store dug?"

He groans and ignores the rattling behind his ribs, running a hand over his face as he prays that maybe, just maybe Mac will go easy on him.

"What have you been told?"

He doesn't bother asking "and by who?" because he doesn't want to be annoyed at any of them, and it was likely Kate.

"Ye inhaled a fuck ton ae somehin ye shouldnae 've and a hud to hear about it fae someday else."

He nods, looking at the older man wearily. "That's about it, didn't think you'd need a play-by-play."

Mac lowers his feet off of the edge of the desk and drags his chair closer to the desk with a grating scraping noise that makes john wince.

"Right, lad. Genuine question, are ye a fuckin tit?"

It appears to be just that, a genuine question if the way Mac is arching a brow at him means anything. The Scot doesn't allow him the opportunity to answer before talking again.

"Ye must be, cuz we both ken launchin heed first intae somethin filt wae somehin that mangles ye is some biblical arsehole-ity, John."

John briefly considers slamming his head on the desk. It'd do no good to explain that it was for the mission, Mac would probably just skelp him over the back of the head for implying that wasn't something the retiree already knew.

"You did worse back in the day."

MacMillan only narrows his eyes at him, clenching his hands into fists on his lap.

"Dae ye take me as a gid fuckin example wae these things, son?"

John shakes his head, staring down at the desk in front of him.

"Swear tae fuck, ye pull a stupid stunt like that again and a'll huv yer fucking knees wae a crowbar. Christ, is yer self-preservation that far oot the fuckin windae?"

That has John looking back up at him through narrowed eyes, everyone kept jumping down his throat about it as if they wouldn't have all done the same for the sake of a mission. It was part of the job.

Mac slams his hand down on the edge of the desk, irritation washing over his face in waves.

"Dinnae fuckin luk at me like that, crabbit wee git. A get tae rip intae ye fir stupid shite like this or did ye forget that? The fuckin heart attacks ye put me through fir years and ye huvnae changed a bit? Ye canne be dain that tae every, ye might act like an ignorant arse but ye've got folk aroon here that actually don't like the thought ae attending yer fuckin funeral, ye daft cunt."

Maybe the older man can see the exhaustion that's settled in John's bones, wearing him away from the inside out. Or maybe this is just how MacMillan felt years ago, it might just be an inherited trait that presents itself alongside the captain title.

"Get tae bed, son. We're talkin aboot this the morra. And tea wae lemon fir yer throat, ye sound like ye've been gargling shrapnel."

[faggot-greg-house]

house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

[crazylittlejester]

*holds mic to your face street interview style* adhd wind. talk.

- constantly understimulated and the chain has to help him with that by giving him things to do with his hands while they walk because otherwise he will just start talking a mile a minute and bouncing around and Time and Legend have come close to accidentally strangling him because they both get overstimulated fairly quickly and Wind literally just can’t stop. And they understand that, which is why they all worked together to come up with solutions to keep Wind happy while also keeping Time and Legend from getting too overwhelmed

- will stop midsentence and just change topics and its so fast that whoever hes talking to gets whiplash because “when did we start talking about something else???”

- he has a lot of different stims but one of em is like a snap snap slap kinda thing where he very very quickly snaps with his left hand then his right and then smacks the top of his right hand with his left palm and it is LOUD and he can do it frighteningly fast and it just makes Four mad because he cannot do it as fast as Wind (it can also really get on the others’ nerves sometimes but it makes him incredibly happy and it helps him focus so they let him do it just so long as they’re not at camp and stepping away from the noise isnt an option. and Wind is fine with this agreement)

- he does NOT have the patience for shit he’s disinterested in. some of his earliest childhood memories include him SOBBING at the kitchen table while his gran tried so so hard to teach him math but it didn’t make SENSE to him because he literally just could not focus on it no matter how hard he tired because his brain just decided it wasn’t interesting (which created a whole lot of issues with him feeling like he was stupid because he couldn’t understand basic math. he’s not stupid, he’s incredibly smart, but he just could NOT focus on it and he STILL feels bad about it)

- if he’s talking to someone and the group ISNT walking he is standing there swinging his feet because he physically cant NOT. or he’s standing with his arms out to the side and turning just his upper body fast enough to make his fingers tingle

- he will get SO laser focused in on the hobbies he’s passionate about that the chain was actually worried something was wrong with him the first time he hunched over his journal and sat there drawing, completely silently and mostly still for two whole hours (Warriors had given it to him because Wind asks so many questions about everything because he absorbs knowledge like a fucking sponge and Wars is the same way (in regards to loving learning. not so much the hyperactive component) so he thought the journal might help him organize his thoughts)

none of the chain is neurotypical to me, and they’re all definitely on various ends of the spectrum of neurodivergencey but they’ve got each other’s back and will find a solution to keep anyone from going crazy :)

[bloodyinkandquill]

Darkheart x autistic Reader

why is it called oven when you oven the cold food of out hot eat the food? hmm?

- Darkheart has a lot of quirks, that’s for sure, but you do too, so you too embrace each other’s unusualness and respect whatever ‘weird’ things you do

- He likes hearing you talk, though he does sometimes zone out you don’t mind since he doesn’t get annoyed with how much you talk to him about things, especially if you join him while he goes fishing he’s content to listen to you go on and on as he waits for a tug on the line, afterwards he tells you all about the fish he caught, so it’s a mutual thing

- If you like putting your weight on him he absolutely adores it, seeing your smaller self putting all of your weight on him makes him feel good, and if you wanna just lean some of your weight on him too he loves that, like resting your head on him while sitting on the little area he fishes on, however if your touch adverse he understands that and never initiates touch, so if you do touch him it makes him very happy but he would never force you if you dislike it

- Darkheart thinks watching you stim is very cute, especially happy stims, as long as it doesn’t hurt yourself he thinks watching you stim is so endearing, and you can always notice his smile becoming more genuine whenever you do it around him

- With his hat magically hiding his eyes you can’t exactly make eye contact with him and it’s great, he looks at your eyes but since you can’t really look at his back most of the time and you dislike looking at his eyes he understands and if you ask him to stop he will

- Darkheart’s clothes are so texture bro, they’re unfortunately not the softest but they aren’t a bad texture, and he doesn’t mind you fidgeting with the buttons on his coat, or the brim of his hat, as long as you don’t try and take any of it off, his hat catches on his horn and his coat catches on his wing

- Speaking of his wing if you’re ok with it that thing is around you whenever he’s nearby, and if he can’t be near you for whatever reason such as godly duties or he pissed Illumina off too much he gives you a small piece of wood that perfectly is shaped like his wing, he doesn’t mind if you turn it into a necklace or just keep it in your bag but it makes him feel like he’s got something protecting you at all times

- Darkheart’s way of speaking is odd but very endearing to you, the way he refers to himself plurally, the random breaks in his speech, his use of pronunciation, it’s strange but it make him him, you eventually learn how to differentiate things about his speech to help tell you his emotions and what not, you can’t tell if it was harder or easier than doing that for regular people’s way of speaking

- If you were to get overstimulated out in public he’d take his hat off carefully and put it over your face to block out light and some sound before carefully picking you up, with permission, and bringing you back to your home before leaving you alone for a while so you can calm down, he is always patient with you getting overstimulated, or having a melt down and you love him so much for being so understanding of everything

hope these were good! again like with the katana ones please let me know if you want general dating hcs like pet names and dates and more since again, these are specifically for autistic reader!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

This is kind of a ramble of a question sorry. I'm a trans guy, and have been trying to figure out how much sexual attraction/desire I actually feel, with the idea of figuring out how into sex I'd be post bottom surgery. I do think I experience some attraction towards women - watched Alien last night and felt funny every time Sigourney Weaver opened her mouth - but I don't think I feel it as intensely as other people my age (15.5), and never seem to feel horny spontaneously without a specific trigger. I am dysphoric about my genitals to the point where actually being aroused/feeling any kind of sensation from them is mentally very uncomfortable. I had a stim when I was younger (autistic) that I later realized was unintentional masturbation, and I stopped immediately after learning that. I don't know if I would ever want to have sex with a prosthetic. My amount of desire might change (though it hasn't so far a couple months on t) but right now it seems like the amount of dysphoria from using a dick I know is fake + the stimulation being centered in the wrong spot? outweighs desire. I think I would be open to the idea if I got phalloplasty, but I'm not entirely sure it would ever be a thing I sought out over say, playing video games yk? I can be overstimulated, am bad with people, and just don't seem to want it as much as everyone else, even though i do want it? Now the main question. I want phalloplasty. I want to have a dick, and pee standing up, and feel the weight of it when i sleep. But it's also a long, expensive, complicated process that I might end up getting and then never actually using for the main thing genitals are meant for - sex and masturbation. I want it, but I'm not very attractive or personable, and it's a hard thing (even harder if I do it young on my parents' insurance) to do and then have to tell everyone you'll die a virgin. Any thoughts? Sorry if this is unfocused or inappropriate.

hi anon,

listen. I totally get your anxieties about your social and sexual options right now, and why they might make phalloplasty seem like it isn't worth it.

but the thing is - and I swear this isn't meant to be condescending - you're 15 and a half. what you're like right now is going to have so little bearing on who you are as an adult that it's hard for me to even begin to describe. hell, who I was when I was a senior in high school was pretty much completely irrelevant by the time I finished by freshman year of college. you're going to change so, so much in your life, and just because you feel like you're not attractive or personable now is no reason to cut yourself off from a surgery that it sounds like would make you very happy!

even aside from having sex, there are plenty of other reasons to get phalloplasty. you said them yourself! you have reasons you want to have a penis that have nothing to do with sex at all, and you don't ever need to sleep with anyone in order to justify that. being comfortable in your body is always reason enough.

[rubberduckyrye]

Speaking of Kaito!

I've been thinking lately--about his emotions and how Big they are. About how he has a tendency to punch when he's got Big Bad Emotions...

And like... hear me out. AuADHD Kaito.

AuADHD Kaito who's autism is there but not very noticeable. AuADHD Kaito who gets obsessed with shit to the point where it's all he can talk about. AuADHD Kaito who was so earnest as a child, so honest and open and loud. AuADHD Kaito who got multiple mega big doses of "Weird Kid Syndrome" and was lonely because he wasn't Like The Other Kids. So he dove head first into his special interest because it distracted him from the knowledge that he was different from everyone else.

AuADHD Kaito who learned how to read other people's emotions really well (but doesn't quite know how to appropriately respond to them) and decides to Become The Best Friend Guy. The person to can always rely on to tell your darkest secrets and he will support you because he has chosen to believe in you!!! He becomes Atlas, holding up the world around him.

An AuADHD Kaito who learned that stimming was Bad so he stopped, but it overwhelms him and when it's too much, he punches instead. An AuADHD Kaito who, if he lets himself stim, would shake his fists around akin to hand flappies. And when he's happy he bounces with so much Autism Stim Energy that he's exhausted when the happy feelings pass, but it's a good kind of exhaustion.

Just. AuADHD Kaito.

[dysfunctional-doodle]

Hello. I hope I'm not bothering you, but I was wondering what's your personal headcanons on the Bayverse Turtles? I may have spelled headcanons wrong, so correct me if I am wrong.

(Dude I always spell headcanons wrong I got you)

Oooh hc time! Random stuff really, but:

Mikey has ADHD and Autism. I mention it very briefly in my tmnt chat fic, but I read a fanfic with this idea and it just fits so much for me. Especially the ADHD, which I think the creator of the movie confirmed somewhere anyway?

Donnie has chronic pain in his upper back/spine area, specifically where the shoulders are. To me, he just seems to have a more awkward, uneven build compared to his brothers - he is thinner and taller, yet his shell is still huge. So i kind of had this hc floating around. Idk if other people like it but eh. Cant be a nerd without a bad back I guess

Mikey and Donnie are definitely the younger brothers. Mikey being almost a full year after Donnie, and Donnie being about half a year after Raph and Leo (who are the same age)

Raph knits. Basically confirmed anyway. Specifically he learnt to knit after they were struck by a particularly harsh winter and needed blankets - Raph, being the only one that wasn’t too weak/in hibernation mode at the time, learnt how to knit to try and protect his family when he couldn’t fight the enemy with punches and kicks. He still knits blankets for them every year when the winter grows cold. They keep every one, so they have the comfiest beds

They share a room. 4 giant turtles crammed into one room with rickety bunk beds and hammocks is very funny to imagine

Leo loves romance movies. In particular the TV movie ones.

Leo had a similar attitude to Raph when he was a child until Splinter went missing for a few days whilst scavenging for food (he was fine in the end…mostly. A hasty escape from a warehouse caused him to injure his leg and be forced to hide until he could gain enough strength to return to his sons). When seeing his brothers grow hungry and scared over the few days he took charge, becoming much more of the Eldest Brother figure.

Mikey idolises Leo. He wants to be just like him one day. He thinks he’s the coolest. (It makes Leo’s comment about his head “always being in the clouds” hurt so much more)

Mikey gets a Klunk eventually, saved from being drowned. Her siblings were not as lucky (yes, I am very much writing a fic for this)

Donnie’s favourite pass time is computer science/programming/IT based activities, like how 2012 Donnie seems to enjoy chemistry the most and 2003 Donnie leans heavily towards engineering.

Leo loves house plants

Raph hates house plants

Donnie is blind as hell without his glasses and spent a lot of his younger years unable to see much. Once he could finally see he suddenly was given a world with endless possibilities and potential

Leo is terrible at technology. I’m talking 80 year old woman bad. He always clicks on scam ads and blows up computers. Something just doesn’t click with him and technology

They all have heavy turtle instincts due to them, like 2003, being just turtles rather than a mix of human dna. This causes them to have instincts and qualities turtles have such as retreating into their shells, brumating (at least partially), chirping, etc.

Donnie has a major sweet tooth

Raph can’t stand most sweet things

As kids, they would spend most their time looking at the human world and pretending they were with them.

Donnie is autistic, and has a lot of stims when he is happy that involve chittering and chirps.

Leo cheats at every video game/board game they play due to the eldest sibling advantage

Mikey loves to draw his own comics

Their Christmas hip hop album is fire

Raph is actually the cook, and is quite good at it. Mikey always burns things or they are undercooked because he’s too impatient, Donnie experiments and Leo blows everything up

That’s all for now!