#...i miss infamous haha

[darthkvznblogs]

Have you ever played any of the Life is Strange games?

Not played - I like games with choices, but games that are pretty much just choices (especially the ones with time limits, and doubly so if they have lethal consequences for negative outcomes) aren't really my thing - but I've seen a full playthrough of the original game, yeah.

I really loved Max, Chloé, and co.'s story, and I used to read a lot of LiS fics back in the day. I missed out on all the other games and spin-offs, though, just had other interests to consider. I've been meaning to at least read up on the events of the others, but unfortunately I have too many interests and not enough time.

I will tell you, though, just as a fun bit of background, that when I was first planning the Kverse, way back when, I actually intended to include LiS. It's been a while, but lemme see what I can recall about that old idea:

-Blackwell Academy was like, a discount, non-Mutant exclusive Xavier's School. The story would've focused on Max, Chloé, Kate, and Victoria, all of whom had powers, engaging with Rachel's ghost and trying to find her killer, whom she couldn't recall.

-Max still had her timey wimey powers, but she was an Inhuman, and specifically able to manipulate the flow of tachyons - not just reversing, but going back and forth, or sideways. Going too far any which way made her pass out, bleed from the nose, and would eventually kill her if she really pushed it. (in retrospect, I think it would've been a mistake to not touch on her ability to photo travel, that's such a cool idea)

-Chloé had been somehow infused with the power of a massive storm (the one from the end of the game, actually, but not sure how it would've happened early and syphoned into her. I think Roxxon was involved, but I can't remember). I pictured her powers as resembling those of Cole McGrath from the Infamous games. She would've struggled with controlling her power a lot, and could easily harm those around her, friends and foes alike. (I still like the idea of Chloé and electrokinesis, they just seem like they go together)

-Kate was the most out there; she was like a reverse Ghost Rider! Her faith was so powerful that her guardian angel had possessed her to save her life, presumably in a similar situation as her suicide attempt in the game. Obsessed as I am with the Diablo depiction of angels, I pictured her transformation like Auriel, with the bladed ribbon and everything. She would've had a very conflicted relationship with her guardian angel - undeniable proof that her beliefs are warranted, yet an entity that wrests control of her body, even if her intent is pure. (I genuinely love this concept still and would very much like to do something with it in the Kverse proper)

-Victoria would've been a mutant, and actually (somewhat distantly) related to Emma Frost. Her power would've been to adopt a quartz-like form (originally sapphire). She would've struggled with the obvious comparisons - her inorganic form was inferior to Emma's, not just in composition but because she couldn't move while transformed, and she also lacked telepathy in her regular form. (I wasn't fully sold on this one, but admittedly Victoria is my least favorite of what I'd consider the "core" LiS cast.)

-Rachel had been murdered, still, but her ghost persisted, and she could do typical ghostly things like possessing people, going invisible and intangible, etc. She had no recollection of the day she was murdered, but still did her best to help the others figure out her case - even though she was terrified that doing so would force her to pass on, having accomplished little of what she desired in life.

It's kinda cool to talk about this! I doubt I'll do anything with it - not for lack of trying, I actually tried and failed to write a first chapter several times in those early years, it's just kind of an "out there" concept, even for the Kverse - but as you might imagine, there's a crap ton of scrapped ideas like this in my google docs, and I don't usually discuss them.

[shwarmii]

@infamous-if i just thought youd find it funny to know the Infamous-brain-rot is so strong it now has made me go "SEVEN-CORE ♡" while watching my favorite tv show lmao rip

The fact that Ryan thinks Min’s shirt not fitting him would be worse than getting booed off stage. I know what you are.

[specialagentartemis]

tell me more about classic filk i know a few songs but never got deep into it

Heck YEAH

"Filk" is music (often but not always folk music-style, often but not always song parodies to the tune of famous pre-existing songs) about sci-fi, fantasy, and other fannish topics. Filk circles are popular events at science fiction conventions, and that's really where the genre started. The word "filk" actually arose from a typo in a convention program once, and people just rolled with it ever since!

Some of the most iconic albums in the filk world are the anthology albums "Minus Ten And Counting" (songs about space exploration and the real-life space program), "Carmen Miranda's Ghost" (songs about sci-fi space shenanigans and space ghosts), and "Finity's End: Songs of the Station Trade" (songs set in the world of CJ Cherryh's Alliance-Union novels, and my personal favorite. I've never read any of CJ Cherryh's books, but these songs paint such a vivid world.) "Space Heroes and Other Fools" is another big one, it's more hit-or-miss for me but it's iconic. Other really good and foundational ones are "Divine Intervention" by Julia Ecklar, "Avalon is Risen" by Leslie Fish, and "We Are Who We Are" by Vixy & Tony.

I lean more towards sci-fi and space than fantasy, but fantasy and paganism are huuuugely popular filk topics too.

Some of the most popular names to look into include Leslie Fish (intensely prolific, barely a fraction of her work is on any streaming or music service), Julia Ecklar (famous for her "ose," the filk-world word for sad songs - because they're "ose, more-ose, and even more-ose), Juanita Coulson, Kristoph Klover, Vic Tyler (who just recently died :( rest in peace), Duane Elms, Kathy Mar, Bob Kanefsky, Alexander James (trans, with lots of filk under his previous name as well), Vixy & Tony, and Seanan McGuire. (I like Seanan McGuire's filk music better than her books, hah.) Some other great ones include Cat Faber (most acapella), Astrisoni, The PDX Broadsides, Kari Maaren, and Sassafrass (also mostly acapella. Includes Ada Palmer). Heather Dale, Tom Lehrer, and Jonathan Coulton are kind of honorary filkers too haha.

The best place to get the ones from 80s and 90s cassettes are on the Internet Archive or Youtube; a few filkers who are more currently active have their stuff on Bandcamp.

And I'll leave you with a few of my Favorite Ever filk songs:

"Sam Jones" by CJ Cherryh and Leslie Fish

"Pushin' the Speed of Light" by Julia Ecklar and Anne Prather

"Chickasaw Mountain" by Leslie Fish

"Fire in the Sky" by Jordan Kare

"The Phoenix" by Julia Ecklar

"Freedom of the Snow" by Leslie Fish

"Burn it Down" by Vixy & Tony

"Hope Eyrie" by Leslie Fish, or this Minus Ten And Counting version

"Rocket Rider's Prayer" by Kristoph Klover, Ernie Mansfield, and Cecilia Eng

"Dawson's Christian" by Duane Elms, performed by Vic Tyler or Vixy & Tony

"Somebody Will" by Sassafrass

"Chances & Choices & Fortunes & Fates" by Astrisoni

... my tastes lean sentimental and ose but I swear there's a lot of very funny filk out there too

"Never Set the Cat on Fire" by Frank Hayes (a famous one)

"Banned From Argo" by Leslie Fish (an INFAMOUS one)

"Don't Push That Button" by Duane Elms and Larry Warner

"No More SF Cons" by Juanita Coulson

"One More Ose Song" by B. J. Willinger

everything Bob Kanefsky writes

[colourstreakgryffin]

Blitzo (I love calling him Blitzo so much that I think he would kill me)) × Sister!reader.

Haha! He will, he’ll come out of your screen to shoot you so be careful— but anyway, of course. Just a scenario where Barbie’s willing to forgive Blitz and try again. Eh, kinda but also not really. To be honest, I already made an older brother OC for the Buckzo twins so love sibling stuff!

Blitzø- Restart and Reload

“C’mon! C’mon! Loonie’ll finally get to meet you!”

Blitzø eagerly speaks, so excited and jittery and his hand clung to yours as he leads you through the kinda dump-y dark apartment building to find a specific room where his own living quarters and his beloved Loona stations in. His fingers laced with yours, his younger twin sister…

It’s been a while since he ever saw you but now that you’ve been reunited. He plans to keep you in his life

You merely smile at your older brother, he hasn��t changed much since he was a teenager. You’ve noticed that he still has a rather dorky sweet demeanour behind those brutal steely walls he’s put up to protect himself but for you and Loona, he drops them because he loves you two too much to be a prick

Blitzø truly trusts you two… please don’t break his heart— he’s fragile and relying on you, he wants your love as he loves you

His flexible long tail is already clung around your waist like a pair of arms wrapping you up but it’s his subconscious fear of you disappearing, you didn’t mind it even when you were shocked by the sudden contact. He has finally gotten you back after the infamous fire incident had separated you from him. He missed you so much

“Loonie?”

You politely and curiously ask as you’ve never heard of such a person… is she his girlfriend? You always kinda thought your brother was gay, but you’re wrong. He’s a flexible man, he’ll date anybody. It just shows how little you really know your own sibling. Blitzø blames you and his father for this, that you don’t know what kinda person he is. Not what he was like as a teenager and eager to be a circus owner and infatuated with Fizzarolli

He isn’t that type of guy anymore and he is excited to show you his life, give you a new one where you’re no longer alone. Nor is Blitzø. His pretty ruby red eyes, which match yours perfectly, face you with an almost flabbergasted expression, in his mind. Everybody knows his beloved Loonie so you expressing your indifference has him more eager for you to meet his precious daughter

“Loonie’s my baby girl! I adopted her when she was seventeen!”

That surprised you as well since Blitzø is the last person you ever suspected to have a child and therefore become a parent but nevertheless, you think it’s a good thing since you always said he’d make a good dad when you two would play family as children all those years ago. But you don’t press on it long, smiling calm and happily as he stops before a specific apartment door and fiddles in his pockets to pick out his keys

“Oh…”

To Blitzø, your smile is so beautiful, even amongst any confusion or realisation you have. As beautiful as Loona’s smile. He wants to see more of it, especially since you’re his baby sister, his hand and fingers laced up with yours without a single inch of separation inbetween you two. His thick long clawed fingers flipping through the silver round keychain hooking all his keys on one item as he manages to find the right silvery metallic key to press it into the lock and open it up with a soft tap to the now opened door

Blitzø basically drags you across the floor to enter his dangy but suitable home, so excited and delighted to begin the bonding process with you that he doesn’t even give you the moment to process the apartment or speak up. You stumble up to your feet a bit hastily as your own long tail swish smoothly before flexibly shutting the door for your silly kooky little brother

Looking over at the many crossed out almost Polaroid-like pictures pinned on the wall consisting of two unknown smaller imps and a unknown tall grey wolf hellhound but himself is scribbled out with dark marker… it’s concerning but you don’t get a chance, once more, to ask him about it. Despite the fact you want to, because

Blitzø almost throws you onto the couch like he was trying to break a table with you, back down as he stuffs his keys into his business suit-coat pockets to be free-handed before jumping over the back of the old crappy couch to land basically right next to your head expertly. Smirking with his usual shit-eating grin as a cheeky little idea clicks into his head at your current predicament

He legit lays his hand over your face playfully like he’s trying to smother you, getting a response from you being to bite his blood red skin with your sharp clean fangs, yet not to prick out any thick black blood. Your equally big and thick hands reaching up to try pry it off in sync to your nipping

“Agh! Hey, ya lil’ shit!”

Blitzø coos out in a playful sense of outrage and disgust whilst you manage to rise up to your knees when rolling over upon him parting. It’s only been like… a hour since you ran into him and he glued himself to your hip until you submitted to his request and now here you are. You don’t mind, he still has your sense of humour and that’s relieving. That your big bro isn’t just a entirely new person now that he’s a grown ass man

You go right to try fling him over the couch’s armrest by his leg but he uses his tail to flexibly grab onto your wrist and try pin you down back. Just playful wrestling, you’ve gotten into it when you got his hints. You are his twin, of course. You’re like him, your tail swishing as you try to lunge onto him and it works when he miscalculates his movements

The sibling play wrestling you and him that are bound in by both of your pushes, ends almost instantly at the sound of the only bedroom in this apartment’s door swinging open creakily as that same tall grey and white female Hellhound you saw in that wall full of pictures, angrily huffing and rubbing her messily gray long hair with a hairbrush clutched in her paw, steps out without a word but a judgemental glare

Blitzø blinks in surprise for a moment or two when he looks up at the fluffy mess of a Hellhound but he melts into pure joy and euphoria at seeing his beloved baby girl has come out in a blink, he didn’t even need to try convince her to leave the privacy of her comfortable gothic room to meet you! This day couldn’t get any better, everything is going the way he wanted!

He hugs you passionately with almost all limbs to acrobatically sit up after unravelling himself form you with you clutched in his arms as he marches happily to his scowling Hellhound with his smile as wide as the arch of his mighty horns

Already introducing you to this Hellhound without even making a modicum of an effort to explain what the Heaven’s fuck is going on to his confused and annoyed daughter. Blitzø is far too excited and wants you and his beloved Loonie to bond, be best friends! He is so damn relieved that Loona hasn’t shut the door in his face yet and is genuinely letting him speak, even if she looks displeased

“Had a good nap, Loonie? Hope you did! Hey! Wanna say ‘hi’ to your aunt! This is your auntie, do you like her?”

[leo-interactive-fiction]

Happy (belated) fifth anniversary for Triaina Academy, Leo! I hope that you got to at least do a small celebration for five years of work sometime in June. In the spirit of Triaina being five, I wanted to ask you about the old demo, actually; is there a scene you left / are going to leave on the cutting room floor that you miss? Are there other plot points from it that you really liked? I'm curious about how you feel about it after so long. Regardless, I hope this finds you well!

Hey there! Damn, it really doesn't feel like it's been five years since I've began undertaking this project haha. The very first showing of Triaina Academy was in june, and was fairly sizable for its first posting, hovering around 70k-ish words leading up to the middle of the 2nd chapter and having introductions for everyone except S and F. During then, I had far more free time available to me, and worked on that version of the demo until it grew to around 250-300k words spanning nearly 5 chapters.

But I realized as I had progressed through writing that the quality of my early chapter writing wasn't consistent with the current standards I wanted to have now, and so much of that wordcount was scrapped, with only the skeletonized outline remaining of the old work. I returned to square one and rewrote the story in its entirety from the beginning, leading to the current state now, with the revised version hitting close to 220k words. In the back of my head I consider that, had I just continued writing without a revision, Triaina Academy would already be a finished product.

In many ways I regret that despite it being five years, it feels like there is nothing much for me to show for it. Even more so now that my work pushes me between mental stress and physical exhaustion, often giving me little time or motivation to pull up the writing on my computer. But I love what I've created. I love the joys it brings me as a creative, as well as hearing the joy it brings you all to read. So even if it seems like I fall away, I am still pressing on to continue, even if it's a tiny bit at a time, until it becomes something both I and readers can find joy in.

Now, speaking of the old demo, there's many scenes that have become nonexistent. I liked quite a few of them, and there are probably many overarching ideas that will return in different forms within the new context of the current demo. But there are also many that won't.

A few mentions of old scenes that probably won't be making a return, either because they've been replaced or they are no longer relevant:

During the very first date with raven, although the makeshift "home" returned, there was an additional scene where the MC discovers mutilated bodies in a closet space.

Before the festival scene seen in the demo now, the working equivalent of it in the old demo was an underground party held by students of the academy in an abandoned airport. The idea of this was cut out because within the story, I decided the world wasn't in a current state for airspace travel save for very specific exceptions. But during this scene, the party is interrupted by a body being discovered hanging from the overhead walkways of a hangar, paired with a bloody message.

There was a scene where you could order and allow V to shoot and kill a student. Originally I had thought to make this into a fail state where the MC and V were thrown in jail for a game over, but upon the revision this was taken out entirely, as I decided against abrupt, early endings.

Infamously, E was originally written as a step-sibling character in the old demo. I had thought on testing and developing the dynamic, since I didn't see very many games do it, and my game was pretty heavily inspired by various anime and manga related tropes and character styles. But eventually, I decided to shift them into a childhood friend/next door neighbor romance without adjusting their personality because I put a lot of effort into developing the entirety of their story arch, and I wanted them to appeal to a more general audience. Funnily enough, they are still labeled as their old role within the code, just because it has become too much work to change all of the variables haha

F's personal assistant, Fiore, didn't actually exist within the old demo. At least not in the same capacity. She was added because I realized F's personality didn't work well as an independent romantic driver, and they needed an additional external factor to push F into more romantic situations. Fiore RO DLC is an additional purchase of $9999.

In the old demo, MC's, and to a lesser extent everyone else's parents, played far less of an apparent role. I wanted to develop a story showing the previous generation compared to the current one, as in some ways there is a "passing of the torch" theme throughout the plot.

S and F were introduced far later in the old demo, to the point every other RO was given a full extra date scene before they joined the picture. One goal of my revision was being able to give these two an earlier introduction so they could all have their own date scene. In the old demo they were introduced in a scene where P and the MC had to switch rooms, allowing the MC to meet the last two members of Dorm Exul, as well as I think letting them read P's diary.

You used to be able to choose both M and P's gender independently, but with them becoming more structured as identical twins, M will always be the same gender you pick for P.

R used to be far more of a directly flirtatious character like M, but has since naturally shifted to the laid-back, bantering character they are now as I've continued writing them.

Similarly, V was written in a far more robotic tone with only short one-to-three-word responses, and although they are still fairly terse and unemotional, they've developed over time to have far more spoken dialogue and hints of emotional cracks.

There used to be a fail scene in M's romance if you refused to hit them the first time. Much like the other fail state, this was taken out and the decision between leaning into their masochistic tendencies or not became part of their path selection.

Many of the side characters within the story were not introduced, and so neither were their stories. Lewis and S's hostile relationship was not developed, Rex and Acer only had passing remarks, Treyla, Juno, Uno, and others who were nonexistent to the plot now hold some relevance to specific MC specializations, and instructors other than Rosaline and Hoft were given names and a larger part as progressors of MC specializations.

As far as the most favorite scene that I'll miss leaving on the cutting room for, hmm. It is most likely the school tournament arc that I had planned in the old demo. It was in the works and quite far in development at the time that I realized my writing had taken far steps away from the book's early development, both in quality and creative direction. The tournament was supposed to be a method to more actively showcase the combat capabilities of each character's powers, with several rounds and fight scenes already written. But within this new revised plot, I plan for the S.T.E.M. abilities to develop far slower and gradually with trackable leaps in power, not yet becoming combat capable at the time this tournament arc would've occurred. Still, the scene and idea I had in my head, and what I had already written, was quite fun! Although I probably won't be able to figure out a way for this exact scenario to happen now, eventually I would love to bring back the idea of a tournament, or arena type of setting, at some point in the story haha.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings. I didn't think the response would get this long haha. Triaina Academy has recieved so much more positive reception and love than I could have ever imagined when I first began working on it. In all honesty, I had figured that maybe I would be writing for a handful or so to see and think it was neat, and I'd be plucking away at it from time to time with no real thought to its success in mind. But it has instead risen to a stage far larger than I thought it could perform on, almost dauntingly so as I fear for disappointing so many, both with its quality, and the fact I can't dedicate as much into its development as people hope and ask for. Even still, I hope you can forgive me for not being able to rise to expectations, especially in regard to the pace of development, or the length of silence revolving it. The one thing I can promise, is that I still love this creation of mine, and all of you who have seen and may continue to see it flourish, and I do not plan to end its development unless I die a very painful, early death.

Thank you very much!

[donkey-hyuck]

¡MASTERLIST!

WORD COUNT - 10.146

GENRE - angst haha | fluff | established relationship!au | CEO!au | slowburn?

CHARACTERS/PAIRING - CEO!jaehyun x orphanage caregiver!fem!reader | nct/wayv

INTRODUCTION - getting into a relationship when you were at the lowest point of your life dragged you down to the bottom. but it dragged the ones you loved as well.

WARNINGS - adoption/being an orphan | profanity (like a lot) | insecurities (major imposter syndrome) | being poor/poverty | panic attacks/anxiety/depression | alcohol consumption | (prescribed) pill intake | lots of dialogue | pet names 

TAGLIST - @xxvaelinxx @bbhmystar @actuallynarii @gfksz @jenosbliss

A/N - yikes this one’s a deep one :( the song is track five on the album and track three on the playlist. have fun breaking your hearts :’) (also hi ik it’s been literally centuries but it’s finally here pls don’t kill me (for the rushed end.))

DISCLAIMER - read as you please!! i don’t want to trigger anyone and please lmk if i missed any warnings! i don’t want to be insensitive to anyone's feelings. thank you <3 p.s. this is not proofread and im so sorry for the immense pause.

It wasn’t too far into your relationship when you broke down in front of Jaehyun. You didn’t know why but opening up to him just became natural.

To be fair, you were also a little ways past tipsy. 

In fact, you were a bit deep into the soju bottle you had bought while sitting outside of the convenient store when you first met Jeong Jaehyun, himself. Of course, you didn’t know he was the CEO of Jeong Peach Corporation at the time. 

Jeong Peach Corporation. A fragrance and personal hygiene corporation company whose audience consists of he’s, she’s, and they’s. The brand as a whole has this certain aesthetic that is appealing to those people. But Mr. Jeong Jaehyun himself also had a certain aesthetic that definitely matched the brand name he built from the ground up. His striking looks and simply the way he carries himself has men and women falling on their knees for him. But it was a little too late for them to capture his heart the way you did.

“Hey you! I can see you looking over here. How ‘bout’chu come over here and I’ll show you a piece of my mind,” you slurred and held up your fist. 

He was almost taken aback. Not because he was Jeong Jaehyun and you had the audacity to speak to him like that (again he carries himself in such a humble way that that would never be the option), but he was simply minding his business, walking to his car until he heard the sound of your drunk voice. He was definitely not expecting a drunk voice while he was ready to go home right around midnight. 

He chuckled to himself, too amused at the mere thought of you. But it was midnight and this was the darkest the sky was going to get. It was dangerous for you— for anyone— to be out this late, by themselves, downing a bottle of soju. Well, two and a half bottles of the infamous alcoholic drink. 

“Who are you? And why are you out here so late? Drunk?” He laughed, tucking his phone into his pocket, slyly grabbing a chair and sitting by you. 

“Suffering. It’s tough out here,” you took another shot.

“Hello, suffering. Why are you out drinking soju so late?” He teased. It was easy to get along with you it seemed, the alcohol brought out the extrovert in you.

“Hey! My name is Y/n. Not suffering…. I’m just saying I’m suffering because,” you paused. And he subtly leaned closer to you, wanting to hear the reason why you’re here by yourself, downing the whole damn bottle.

“…. Just because, okay. Now can you please go so I can drown my own sorrows by myself? I don’t need another pity party,” you sobered up for a moment, then went back to pour yourself another shot. 

But before you could take the shot, Jaehyun grabbed it from your loopy hands and took the shot instead.

“Hey! You don’t just take someone else's alcohol! That was the last shot too! Now I have to go buy another bottle!” You pushed yourself up from your seat only to be met with the hard concrete ground. 

“You shouldn’t be out here this late, miss Y/n,” he said, his voice laid with concern. 

“Who are you to tell me that? I don’t even know who you are,” you pouted, still sitting on the ground. He sighed to himself, showcasing his deep dimples, and got up from his chair to help you up. He was going to try and take you home.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing?!” He wrapped his arm around your waist to keep you up.

“Stranger danger! Stranger danger! This man is trying to kidnap me!” You yelled out. Of course, no one would really hear you. Besides Bong Cha— who was a goodie-two-shoes for Jeong Jaehyun and Jeong Jaehyun only— who walked out of the company right after her boss had. She saw the whole thing go down.

“Stop it! I’m trying to help you!” He struggled, since you were kicking and flailing your arms around in order to prevent him from taking you. 

“Help me, my ass. What do you want from me? Taking advantage of a poor, drunk, girl just trying to get in my pants? Get off me fucking psycho. My car is the other way,” you kicked some more. And he gave up, placing you on the ground once more.

“Please, Y/n, you have to work with me here. I just don’t want you staying out late. Who knows? You could actually get kidnapped if I don’t help you.”

“How can I trust you? I don’t even know your name. You may be handsome but it’s always the hot ones that are fucked up. More fucked up than me!” You exclaimed.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. Maybe he should have just left you at the seven-eleven. But Jaehyun just sat on the ground next to you, a good distance away and observed your ridiculous, drunk, figure. 

“I’m Jeong Jaehyun,” he started, “now can you please cooperate with me? I’m trying to help you, here.”

You looked up and squinted your puffy eyes at him. “In your damn dreams, you’re Jeong Jaehyun. Like I’d believe that. I may be drunk but I’m not fucken delusional.” Oh, but you were delusional. 

You slowly raised from your seat on the ground and walked your way back to your car, which wasn’t actually where you parked it. The man followed you— sorta like a creep— just to make sure you were safe. But on the way to your car (which was not the right way at all), you bumped into Kim Bong Cha herself. 

She hadn’t seen her boss behind you because it was a little too dark but she lashed out at you anyway, “Hey! Watch where you’re going dumb bitch.” You were about to pounce on her until he caught you before you had the chance. 

“Let me go! Let me at her!” 

The girl was shocked to still see her boss shielding her from you. And she felt embarrassed to let him hear the rude words come out of her mouth. Karma’s a bitch.

“I’m sorry, Bong Cha. Please, go home. And don’t discuss this to anyone. I’m just trying to help her,” he explained to his secretary. Ah, so she was his secretary. That makes a lot of fucking sense.

Quietly, she speed-walked to her car leaving the two of you alone again. 

“Why didn’t you let me at her? She was being a rude asshole.”

“Y/n. She’s my secretary. And she’s always been like that. But don’t worry about her, okay. Please just let me help you,” he begged. It was too late for him to just leave you on the road. 

You sighed, the dizziness was now getting to you. 

“Fine. I need to get to my car, though,” you pushed him off of you.

“I don’t think you’re capable of driving right now,” he retorted.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do?” 

And that was how you ended up sitting in the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s luxury car (the one he drove that day was his Aston Martin DB11.) 

That was how you first met Jeong Jaehyun.

So much for first impressions. 

—

When you woke up the next morning (with a massive headache), you found the CEO asleep on your couch. All in your shitty apartment. And when last night's events finally hit, you felt like the biggest asshole on planet Earth. 

Jeong Jaehyun was sleeping on your couch. In your shitty apartment that could definitely not even compare to his lavish lifestyle. You felt embarrassed all over again. God, what the fuck were you thinking?

You tried to clean up a bit before you woke him up but nothing would fix the slightly stained walls and the old furniture he was definitely a foe to. 

After you cleaned up the place, he still seemed to be fast asleep, so you decided to cook up some type of breakfast for him. The rusty refrigerator only consisted of greens (that were about to go bad), a carton of eggs, and a gallon of water. Sunny side eggs, it is. 

This was for sure nothing he was used to. He was a CEO after all. The CEO of one of the most popular global brands, might you add. Which made the whole situation so much more humiliating.

Whilst you were cooking, you looked over your shoulder because of the squeaking of the couch Jaehyun fell asleep on. You wanted to fall off the face of the Earth. 

Quickly you set the eggs into a plate and placed them next to his water you had already set on the table in front of him. He had only been awake for five seconds and he was met with the hospitality of you. 

“Mr. Jeong Jaehyun,” you started, “or— no, yeah. Mr. Jeong Jaehyun, sir, I’m so incredibly sorry for the inconvenience I left last night. You did not have to take me home. In fact you didn’t have to stay the night, which was kinda stupid on your part, not that I would ever call you stupid, even though I just did but-” he cut you off. You definitely rambled a bit too much. 

“It’s okay, Y/n,” he slightly laughed, picking up the chopsticks from the plate and eating the egg. 

You sat in front of the table, too defeated to say anything. Too defeated to even look at him— even in the few minutes he had been awake, he was more prestigious than you’ll ever be. You didn’t care about who he was. You really did, of course, but after the whole mess, you didn’t even want to be in his presence anymore. 

“Why are you so quiet, angel?” The pet name made you feel even worse. Why was he being so nice?

You gulped and looked at him. 

“I’m just- I’m so sorry about last night. I was just-”

“Suffering?” He cut you off once more.

The fact that he answered you and finished your sentence made you want to crawl up in a ball and never come out. Last night definitely placed number one in your list of horrible nights. 

“Uhm… yeah, that. But-”

“Why don’t you eat, love?” This was the third time he cut you off and the second time he referred to you as an endearing person. He acted as if he knew you for his entire life. 

“I’m uh- it- it’s okay. I’m not really that hungry so,” you trailed off, looking down at your hands while you played with your fingers. Just then, he shoved his chopsticks in your face. A piece of egg sat on it. He motioned for you to eat. 

You quickly turned your head and shook it, pushing his hand back, “No!” You cleared your throat, “it’s really alright, Mr. Jeong.” You really don’t know why you called him that but it just came out. It was probably the nervousness.

“Jaehyun.”

“Jaehyun… It’s really okay. I mean this is also the least I could do- uhm- especially after last night. Also, my house is a bit of a mess, I'm sorry about that.”

Jaehyun noticed the neighborhood and apartment complex you lived in. Of course, Jaehyun was a nice person so he wasn’t going to comment on it but it was obvious he noticed the living situation you were in. But none of it mattered to him. He just wanted to make sure you got home safely. 

“Don’t apologize about that, Y/n. Now eat.”

“I have more eggs in the fridge. I can make my own, don’t worry about it,” you felt your face flush with heat. He caved in and shoved the piece of egg into his mouth, still worried about you.

It was awkward for a long time until he finished his food. You took his plate and cup and put it in the sink. 

“I’m sorry. Do you want to wash up? Or maybe-” he laughed.

He had a habit of cutting you off, and you’ve only met this man all of eight hours. Most of those hours you were out cold.

“Stop apologizing, love,” he smiled at you, dimples on full display.

“I’m sorry-” you cut yourself off this time. He laughed again. You were cute. 

“I actually need to go to the bathroom. Could you show me where that is?” He asked. You nodded and pointed him down the hall to the left. He quickly thanked you and made his way.

Right when the bathroom door closed, you ran into your bedroom and plopped, face first, into the sheets. How degrading that was. 

When Jaehyun was done using the bathroom he got out and called your name which made you scurry out of your room to meet him from behind. You forcefully smiled and waited for what he was going to say.

“Your car is still at the convenience store.” Your fake smile dropped as you scrunched your nose, remembering how he drove you home. 

“It’s alright. I’ll walk there later. It’s no problem.”

“But-” this time you were the one to cut him off.

“You’ve already done so much for me. I owe you my life,” you joked.

He playfully scoffed and walked toward you, now directly in front of you,“Just let me drop you off. It’s a far walk.” 

“I can Uber or take the bus. Really, everything is okay. I don’t need you to help me anymore. You helped me more than I needed last night and I owe you everything I have.” You were so stubborn. He wouldn’t give up, though.

And there you sat in the same passenger seat as last night. 

“I’m going to wash up at my house first. Is that alright?” He looked over to you while at a red light. You had been looking out the window before he said that.

“Of course. Take all the time you need. I’m in no rush.”

—

You underestimated the home Jaehyun lived in. It was pure luxury. Fenced-in house with a security system (that, alone, probably costs more than your apartment), green upkept grass, and a beautiful white exterior and interior that screamed majestic, mature, and regal. It made your home feel like a shit-show. It made you feel completely horrible about yourself. 

“Please, come inside,” he opened the passenger side door for you.

Shakily, you unbuckle the seatbelt and exited his car. And he just sweetly smiled at you the entire time. It made you want to cry.

He led you to the front door with his hand hovering the small of your back. You could feel the heat of his hand through your shirt. You took off your shoes and followed him inside.

It was very bright and very aesthetically decorated. With plants (which you weren’t sure were fake or not), paintings that you had never seen before, and knick knacks that seemed too expensive for you to even touch. But he led you past everything in his house and went straight into his bedroom. He had a whole couch and side chairs as well as a fireplace. It was just as grand as the rest of his home. 

“Uhm, you can sit on the bed if you’d like. Or the couch, I don’t know. But I'll be done shortly. Please, make yourself comfortable,” he held your arm, informing you. But you were too stunned to speak, so you nodded your head instead. 

You sat on the couch, it was a little weird for you to sit on his bed when you barely knew anything about him (and he barely knew anything about you). Plus, you were too busy gawking at his house. And it made you feel self conscious again. It made you feel small; like you didn’t belong. Which you didn’t. So you don’t know why Jaehyun seemed so comfortable with you. 

He came out of his bathroom— that was attached to his bedroom— buttoning up his shirt with damp hair. He took as quick of a shower as he could, to not keep you waiting. And through the reflection of the mirror, he could see you with your head facing down again, probably playing with your hands. 

“Y/n, love,” he called out. You whipped your head around to his voice, not expecting that to escape his lips.

“Can you please help me button this?” You don’t understand why he called out to you as if you were his lover. Or at least someone he was comfortable with. Couldn’t he see that you were a bit lost? 

You sighed to yourself and wiped your palms against your pants, hesitantly walking up to him. 

Carefully, you buttoned up the rest of his shirt and looked up at him. He was already staring at you with all the love and adoration in his eyes. Of course, you didn’t realize this at the time. Jaehyun himself didn’t even realize it.

He then handed you his tie, “I hope you can tie a tie?”

You’ve tied many ties in your time of working at the orphanage. 

—

Warm Hearts Orphanage held a prolonged special place in your heart. You’d been going to the orphanage as far back as you could remember. The orphanage held children from infants to teens. And everyone there was like family. Even though your little family didn’t have much, it always warmed your hearts to give back to children who were less fortunate than you were. And though you grew up poverty stricken, these children suffered more than you did and all you wanted was to help them. 

You’ve seen children come and go, and the thoughts that always come to you is that they lived a happy life. Everyone in the orphanage deserved it. Even the sourest of apples, because all they wanted was to be loved by a family.

That being said, the orphanage always planned surprise parties for those children who had been adopted. It was a nice tradition, and you’ve helped many children get ready to graduate from Warm Hearts into a family that will love them.

—

“I can.”

As you were doing up his tie he slowly raised a hand to pat down your hair. The action made you pause your movements. Then, you realized everything that was going on was completely wrong and inappropriate, so you quickly finished doing his tie and took a step back. Your heart fell to your ass.

“What’s wrong, lovely?” You still felt like you were going to cry. 

“I- Nothing. Don’t worry about me,” you fakely smiled again. But, again, it was as if he knew you your entire life because he wiped the pad of his thumb against your lips, making you genuinely frown.

“How can I not worry when you seem squeamish? And these fake smiles plastered on your face. What’s wrong?” He stopped swiping your bottom lip and cupped your face with the entirety of his right hand; thumb rubbing your cheek instead.

You still forced a smile and wrapped your hand around his wrist, bringing his hand away from your face. You felt undeserving of everything he was doing to you. And you wanted to hide your emotions as much as you could.

“I’m okay. You can stop worrying about me. I’m fully capable of taking care of myself,” you released your hold on his wrist and held yours, crossed in front of your body. 

This time, with his left hand, he smoothed down your hair and let his hand rest on your face.

“Okay, pretty. If you say so. Now, let’s go get your car, yeah?” You bit your lip and nodded and he led you out of his house with his hands on the small of your back, just like he did when he was bringing you inside.

The seven-eleven you were drinking at just so happened to be located right next to Jeong Peach Corporation. Your car was still parked in the parking lot. And it was still nothing to ever compare to the CEO who was sitting beside you.

You both got out of the car, and he was standing in front of you. 

“Thank you and I apologize for last night. But if it weren’t for you, I’d probably be passed out on the sidewalk,” you awkwardly laughed. 

“No worries, love. And thank you for your hospitality. I’m happy you’re doing alright,” he responded.

You pursed your lips and pivot your heels to the direction of your car.

“I hope to see you again, Y/n.” Yeah right.

You pivot your heels back to the direction of Jaehyun. The embarrassment of last night and this morning still lingered in your body. There was no way you would see him again. You were from two completely different worlds. And there was no way you were coming back to this seven-eleven.

“I hope so too,” you said bitterly before rushing to your car. 

“Y/n!” He said before you could finish shutting your door. You groaned to yourself, stepping back out of your car and facing him again. You wanted to save yourself from the self-bashing already.

“Would you like to… maybe… grab something to eat later?” But damn, he was too nice to turn down. You wanted to say yes so badly, but another part of you wanted to decline. You just didn’t belong in his world. 

He was born to an upper class family, you knew that. Everyone knew that. So what would happen if you said yes? You had nothing to offer.

But it didn’t hurt trying, right?

You took in a huge gulp, “…. I would like that.”

“I’m sorry, what?!” exclaimed Danbi while the two of you were washing dishes.

The kids had just eaten and they were now free to do whatever they pleased, whether that was draw, sleep, or take a walk during the good weather. 

“Keep it down!” You shushed her.

“I can't! THE Jeong Jaehyun of THE Jeong Peach Corporation asked you out on a date tonight?!” She squealed in happiness for you, making the bubbles fly everywhere. 

You told her everything that had just happened within the past twenty-four hours. And she was beyond stoked for you. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and she knew you deserved it the most. You’d been through hell and back and you’re about to go right back. She knew everything about your situation, you’d both been volunteering here for years so it was only natural to open up to one another.  

“No one said anything about a date…. Just a, uh, hangout. Yeah…. a hangout.”

“Y/n, he just met you and he’s head over heels for you already! I’m so excited for you!”

You were excited too. Way beyond excited.

—

Jaehyun said he would pick you up around nine p.m. You had just gotten back from grocery shopping and you now had a little over an hour to shower and get ready. You didn’t even know where he was taking you. 

But as you were applying your makeup and looking in your bathroom mirror, everything started shutting down on you. And you were surrounded with nothing but your own, suffocating, thoughts. You were a fraud. But Jaehyun was coming to pick you up soon, so now was not the time to think about it; or at least try not to. Fake it ‘till you make it.

When the knocking on your door signified Jaehyun's arrival, you quickly sprayed some perfume and opened up the door for him.

You were wearing a simple, spaghetti strap black dress with a slit on the side leg and a dark gray blazer with a matching bag. He looked the same as he did when you saw him this morning, except his blazer was now off of his body and he took off his tie which left him with his white button up (which he unbuttoned the first few to give him more of a casual look).

“Are you ready?”

☹ ☹ ☹

I told you I was down bad

You hate to see me like that

Two whole years had gone by and it was almost your third anniversary. Almost, as in, it was six months away. But so much can happen in a mere six months that seem to pass by so quickly. 

You were in your apartment, the same crappy apartment you lived in two years ago, crying in your sheets. Your damn thoughts were getting to the best of you again. 

And when you didn’t respond to Jaehyun’s phone calls, it was an understatement to say he was worried about you. So he drove to your apartment immediately. 

He frantically knocked on your door and almost broke it down until you came to open it, eyes still red from your tears and breath still uncontrollable. Your lover welcomed himself inside and shut the door, holding you so tight yet soft in his embrace in the doorway. He was trying to comfort you with his lips resting on your forehead and his hands carefully cradling your body.

“It’s alright, love. I’m here. Don’t cry. Please. I need you,” he repeated into your hair, rubbing your back and swaying you both side to side. But the action made you cry even more. You didn’t deserve the love he gave to you. Your head rested on his firm chest as you tried to calm down the pain.

“Angel, where are your meds? Are they in your room?” 

You nodded as best as you could as he carefully led you inside and into your bedroom. Jaehyun sat you down on your bed before grabbing a glass of water for you to take your pills. You hated relying on him so much. You hadn’t changed. But what you don’t know is that Jaehyun loved you even more than he did two years ago. He loved you because you weren’t afraid to show him such a vulnerable part of the human being you had become. Or so he thought.

You did what you had to do and he carefully pulled you into bed with him. Your head rested in the crook of his neck as he felt your hiccuping breath die down into slumber. He rubbed your back some more, hoping that it would lull you to sleep faster. 

You don’t know what you’d do if he wasn’t here. Jaehyun was your everything, as were you to him.

—

When you woke up the following morning, you were still in Jaehyun’s embrace. Slowly, you turned around to check the time and the clock read 5:43

a.m. That was why it was still dark outside. 

You turned back around to face Jaehyun and you sadly smiled at him. He worked so hard 24/7 and the purple bags under his eyes proved that. You just wished there was something you could do to help him, just like the various ways he had helped you. Jaehyun has always been there to help. From the day you two met, to this moment, Jaehyun was always your number one. 

You shifted around in his arms as he slightly groaned because of the sudden movement. 

“I’m sorry, love. Keep sleeping,” you whispered, kissing his closed eyes. He came to your house in his work clothes, though, so you were sure he was a bit uncomfortable. You walked to your wardrobe and found some folded up pajama pants he left over the other night as well as one of his gray hoodies he left ‘not on purpose.’ You gathered his clothes and walked to the bed to wake him up.

“Wake up. If you’re gonna keep sleeping, at least change, love. You’re probably all stuffy in your button up and dress pants,” you lightly shook him awake. He groaned some more before stretching his limbs and opening his eyes. You were the best thing he could ever wake up to.

Jaehyun playfully pulled the blanket over his head and managed to wrap his arms around your waist as you were sitting down beside him. You laughed at his antics and tried to free his grip on you. It failed; and you ended up wrapped under your sheets with him, his comfortable clothes still in your hands.

“What if I don’t want to change,” he challenged.

“You don’t have to,” you teased. “But it’s not going to be my fault when you complain about being uncomfortable.” 

His tight hold on you faltered for a moment before he fully released you and took off your blanket from his (and your) bodies. He released a puff and pouted his plump morning lips. The man sighed and got out of bed, taking the clothes you had in your hands and just stripping from his work clothes right then and there. 

“Aren’t you gonna change in the bathroom?” You asked, laying back down in bed. So much for getting up.

“Eyy, you know I don’t do that. I’m gonna come back into bed anyway,” he said before climbing in after you and pulling the grey sheet back onto him. As he slid into your bed, you wrapped your arms around his head as he rested himself to be held by you. Jaehyun loved being babied, especially in the early hours of the morning. It was one of the many charismatic features about him.

—

When you woke up the second time that morning, it was only nine o’clock. But Jaehyun seemed to be awake now, cooking breakfast that was sizzling from the kitchen.

Quietly, you sat on one of the stools and stared at him. He was the best thing that ever came into your life.

But why did he openly put himself in it?

You always wondered why Jaehyun stayed. It always turned into panic attacks and crying fits, but you couldn’t help it. He was a part of a completely different social status and you stood out like a sore thumb when you were next to him. It wasn’t like you were ashamed to be his girlfriend; you just thought he was ashamed to have you as his girlfriend.

He should.

There goes those thoughts again.

Unknowingly, you choked a sob which made him turn around. When he saw you, he smiled with pure adoration beaming in his eyes. God, why did he make this so hard?

He shut off the stove and walked toward you, forgetting about the breakfast he was making, it was almost done, anyway. Jaehyun wiped his hands with a towel and walked to you, cupping your face with his right hand, wiping the tear that seemed to fall from your eye.

“Why are you crying, love?” He still held the same, sweet, smile.

“…. I love you.”

He raised you from your seat and just hugged you, lips resting on the crown of your head, swaying you back and forth on the creaky floor.

“I love you more.”

“I’m sorry I’m like this,” you confessed against his chest.

But he immediately raised you from your position, to look at his, now serious, expression.

“Never apologize for something you can’t control. You say sorry all the time, peach. I love that you feel the need to say it, but you really don’t need to say it all the time. Especially in front of me. You know how much I love you, right? For being who you are?” He wiped the baby hairs away from your face. 

“You know how much I don’t care how messed up, or whatever you call it, you are, right?”

“…… Of course.”

“Then you should stop being such an amazing person. I don’t deserve you. But here I am,” he laughed, tugging you into his frame once more.

However, you still felt the need to give him the world. You still felt as though you owed him your life, he’d been your boyfriend for almost three years.

And yet you still thought that it was you who didn’t deserve him.

“Now stop crying. You know I don’t like it when you cry. Especially if it’s your damn thoughts that are eating at you.”

You love him so much.

☹ ☹ ☹

I don’t know how you look past

My stupid fucking setbacks

You said it before and you’ll say it again. You’ll say it a million more times; Jaehyun deserved more.

Sometimes, you’ll look in the crooked mirror placed in your bathroom and just think to yourself. Think about all the negatives rather than thinking about the positives. And although there are times you do think about the positives, they all end up with a wretched outcome. And then it’s negative thoughts all over again.

It’s the same routine and you’re growing sick of it. You’ve been sick of it ever since you could remember and you despise people who seem to have it easy. It just seemed as though there was no luck for you. The only luck the universe brought to you was Jaehyun. There are times, though, where you wished you never met him. He was a goddamn CEO and you were a low-class citizen. None of it just made sense.

But you loved him. It just hurts to deal with your true emotions and stow them away from your lover; because you never wanted him to watch what you were going through. Even the thought of it made you want to vomit.

Trauma just came natural to you, apparently. And you absolutely hated it. You just wished you were different, then maybe you wouldn’t feel so guilty about dating Jaehyun. Then he would truly be proud of who you are.

He was already proud of you, though. And he’s told you this a billion times. Your brain just makes you believe that he’s saying it out of pity. He’s only saying it because you’re his girlfriend. 

And the cycle continues.

—

You were spending the next couple of days at Jaehyun’s house. It was obvious he didn’t like your lifestyle and wished for you to live with him. You could never bring yourself to do it though; to always rely on him for everything that you do. You were fully aware of what you could and could not do, and you didn’t need him to help you.

Which led you to silently cry away your sorrows in his bathroom. You were taking a bath, in hopes to dial down the overwhelming emotions that engulfed you. Yet here you were, with a flushed face and puffy eyes— the aftermath of a breakdown. 

It seemed as though ever since you got into a relationship with Jaehyun, your anxiety only intensified. And that resulted in the thoughts that had been burdening your mind since the day you two met. 

Fortunately, he wasn’t home to face the pointless shenanigans that go through your head. So you had enough time to pull yourself together, take your meds, and try to meditate on the balcony that was attached to his bedroom. 

The summer nights were cool enough for you to relax your mind before Jaehyun made his way home. You were working at the orphanage the whole day and you managed to pull through the entire day without a single tear, which probably led to the bathroom-breakdown fiasco. 

The crickets had been chirping and the wind was starting to blow. That was when you heard the bedroom door open. And when Jaehyun saw the slight movement of the balcony curtains, he knew you were outside doing whatever you do best. 

Quietly, the man sighed to himself, placed his work on the side desk and undid his tie. He was finally home. He was finally with you. 

Jaehyun opened the sliding door larger than what it was and joined you in sitting on the floor with his legs crossed. At first he let out a long breath and looked out toward the yard which his bedroom was facing. Then, he got tired and shifted toward you. 

That happened all in thirty seconds.

Your eyes were still closed as you breathed in. Jaehyun lovingly smiled at you and kissed the side of your head.

“I missed you today, angel,” he broke the silence. 

You opened your eyes and shifted your body to face him.

“You say that every day,” you chuckled and played with his fingers. A habit of yours that Jaehyun absolutely adored.

“And it’s always true. I can't wait for the day I get to see you every time I come home.” You felt more guilty that he had the need to say that. And you knew he meant nothing harmful, he was just a caring person and didn’t want you living the life you had. You were better off living with him.

But you joked, “You will. For the next three days. And then I’m off home.”

He groaned and layed back on the cold floor. “Don’t remind me. I want to cherish the time we have now.”

You laughed once more. He was acting as if he didn’t come to see you practically every day. Sometimes, he’ll even leave his job just to come see you at the orphanage. 

“Eyy, quit saying that. I’m still here. You come by all the time. Sometimes twice a day. You’ll get sick of me soon, I can guarantee. I don’t know how you put up with me all these years.”

Although you were (partially) joking, Jaehyun sat right up from his prior position and looked at you with his pout and furrowed brows. 

“What do you mean, peach? I could and would never get sick of seeing you. Don’t say that.” You were shocked to see him react that way.

You slightly snickered at him and said, “I was joking, love. I’m sorry,” you leaned your head closer to his and placed a little kiss on his lips, to make him sort of forgive you for saying that. 

“You better be. I don’t know what I’d do without you, peach,” he kissed back. And pecked your lips repeatedly, several times. 

The actions made you laugh out loud and slightly push him away. Jaehyun loved being the reason why there was the brightest smile on your face. So he quietly smiled as your eyes crinkled because of him.

He suggested that you two wash up. However, you already told him you bathed before he came home. And like a child, he groaned and went into the bathroom himself. But he made you promise to wait for him tomorrow. You agreed, because he was your little baby. 

As he was in the shower, you cuddled your way into his bed sheets and blanket. The lights were now dimmed and all you were doing was waiting for him to get out of the shower. Hopefully he would be able to beat the slumber that easily pulled you in. 

The warmness of the blanket, though, soothed you to sleep and Jaehyun was unable to defeat the unfortunate slumber that casted over you. It was a shame since he wanted to talk to you; ask about your day and what you did. He’d grown used to the look of your puffy eyes, and he knew you’d been crying. He knew you were having a moment the minute he stepped onto the patio. Because the only time you would sit out there was if something was bothering you.

Being the amazing person he was, left you alone, and didn’t ask about what you clearly didn’t want to talk about. He believed that you would open up to him when you were ready. You’ve already opened up to him so much, but nothing would stop him from worrying about you. 

Once he got out of the shower and towel-dried his hair, he placed the wet towel in the basket and climbed into bed next to you, immediately clinging to your fatigued figure. God, he would give you the entire world. Jaehyun turned around and shut off the lamp on his side of the bed (yours was already turned off) and hugged you against him, his breath soon evening out to match yours. 

And fast asleep he was.

—

The following morning, Jaehyun was awakened with your fingers threaded in his hair and his face squished against your chest. He managed to stretch some parts of his limbs whilst still, practically, laying on top of you. 

“Good morning, angel,” he said in his morning voice, “I’m not going into work today.”

As a CEO, you’d expect him to take care of himself (with Jaehyun being his own boss and all) but you didn’t expect him to say he wasn’t going in. Not that you minded, you’d much rather spend the day with him but Jaehyun was a hard-working man, and he rarely took days off. 

“I’m not going in for the next three days either. It’s been a while since I took a day or two off.”

“Yeah, but you’re taking four days off, including today. Are you sure you want to do that?”

He was taken aback for a moment. Did you not want to spend time with him anymore?

“There’s nothing wrong with me taking four days off. You appreciate it, no?” He said in the littlest voice which instantly made you regret what you said.

“No, no, no. Oh, I’m sorry my love, I didn’t mean to make you upset. It’s just that you’re so busy with work and it’s just me so you don’t have to-” you rambled.

“And that’s where I’m gonna stop you. You know how much you mean to me, so of course I’m gonna take these days off to spend as much time with you as I can. The company's getting a little busier with a new launch around the corner but I’m sure they’ll be able to survive without me for a few days,” he retaliated.

You sighed, still feeling like an asshole for wording the sentence the way you did. God, could you do anything to make him happy? It felt as though everything you said and everything you did could never satisfy him. Of course, those were just your thoughts.

Jaehyun was happy that you cared about his job, but what he wanted you to realize the most is how much he wanted to be with you. Whatever it was, spending time with you is the best remedy he could ever ask for. 

Just why is he never sick of you and your words? You’re sure he would be with how rude you, unintentionally, were to him. 

☹ ☹ ☹

When you opened up the door

You let me in when you should have your guard up

Thinking back to the time you finally let Jaehyun crawl through your walls— when he’d let down his walls way before you— the constant feeling of regret and pain constantly filled you. Whether or not the glass was half-full or half-empty, it was always just half. There was never a certain hundred percent yet Jaehyun took his time in letting you trust him as Jeong Yoon Oh. 

Thinking back to the time you first met Jaehyun himself, he somehow couldn’t process the red-flag you were oh-so not afraid to show while you were inebriated. He thought you were cute, and the words you were spilling from your mouth, conscious or not, made him feel sort of protective over you. And he didn’t even know you.

It was about ten a.m. when the two of you got out of bed. Ever since the conversation earlier, the air has just been tense. At least for you. You’re sure Jaehyun probably hadn’t felt anything but your brain was constantly playing tricks on you, and this could be one of them.

Your lover is in the bathroom now, as you’re sitting on the bed staring into space with your thoughts locked into your brain. You should apologize. Of course, you want him to stay home with you, but he plays an important role in the economy and in his industry that you can’t help but feel bad for keeping him away from what he loves doing most.

Resting against the headboard, you turn your head toward the bathroom door that was being opened. He walks through and sits back in his spot next to you, although his body is fully facing yours.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I just… I don’t want to keep you here if you have a lot to prepare for your launch,” you sighed and rubbed your eyes.

He laughed, but the feeling of hurt lingered a bit in his eyes as he held the utmost respect to you. “You don’t have to apologize, my love. It’s completely okay. And if they need help, they have my number and it’ll all get fixed with a simple phone call, alright?” He used his right hand to cup your face, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the surface of your cheeks. 

You bit your lip in hesitation but you stopped when Jaehyun leaned down and kissed away the bad habit he always noticed you had. 

“Let’s make breakfast, yeah?” He whispered against your lips, giving you the biggest puppy eyes ever. You laughed and kissed him one more time before going into the bathroom to get ready for whatever the day was going to bring. 

—

Breakfast was absolutely lovely. As it always is whenever you’re with Jaehyun. But for some reason, this morning’s just hit so different.

Today, though, you planned on going to the orphanage just as a surprise visit. Truly, it was your home. Your second home (if you considered Jaehyun.) 

“Well, I was planning on getting goodie bags for the kids but… I don’t think I’m gonna. We can just spend the day there,” you were telling him all the things you wanted to do today and the things you wanted to do for the kids there but you were having trouble deciding what to actually do.

“Nah, we can go to the grocery and buy them goodies,” he abruptly said as if it was no problem. Realistically there was no problem. Except you. 

“But-”

“No buts. I haven’t seen them in a while, so just consider it a gift from me. Now, let’s finish our food and get some snacks for the kiddos,” he put his plate in the sink as you sighed in adoration (and maybe a little in guilt.)

Grocery shopping with Jaehyun was like grocery shopping with a child. And it was good, because he picked out snacks he thought the children would like, as well as treat bags to put them in. He was a child at heart although he portrayed a stoic and successful CEO.

The two of you sat in his car for an hour in the Warm Hearts Orphanage parking lot packing juices and snacks and candy into the bags before finally walking through the front door. 

One of the staff members had seen you and happily greeted the two of you as you walked into the main entrance to the room the kids spent the most. Upon your arrival, all of the children shouted in happiness, greeting you with hugs and questions of the bags that were placed in a cardboard box that Jaehyun was holding.

Giving them out and spending time with them truly warmed your heart as they played the whole day long with Jaehyun. 

He was so fond of children and your entire being melts with the sight of him playing with them and catching them up on his launch. 

Something about it was heartwarming yet bittersweet. 

You don’t know how long you could last anymore.

☹ ☹ ☹

What a painful back and forth, oh

Today was just not a good day. For you and for Jaehyun. He called you in the morning and said he was going to visit you at your apartment when he was done in the office. 

Only problem was, it was twelve in the morning when he walked through the door with the extra key you gave him. Your apartment was quiet, excluding the yelling from the thin walls of whichever neighbor. 

For the first time since he’s met you, this was the first time he’d actually noticed every little detail about your apartment. From the stained walls to the crack in your window. He felt like he wanted to cry. Jaehyun didn’t want you living like this anymore, that was the truth. And he knew you worked two jobs before committing to the orphanage. He also knew you were never able to pursue college. No amount of scholarships you were given could afford the ungodly university tuition.

And just as he was about to suck up the water forming in his eyes, you walked out of your room, fully awake. You stopped and called out his name. But the ringing in his ears only got louder. And soon he broke down into tears.

You were completely shocked. It was midnight and you didn’t think he would come over because it was so late. But now he’s here, and you don’t know how long he has been standing there, breaking down right in front of you.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong, angel?” you held him in your grasp as his tears kept coming down.

“Why are you crying? Please tell me, my love,” you pleaded, voice cracking. In the three years you’d known Jaehyun, he was never one to cry. Not one tear. He wouldn’t ever tear up either. So seeing him like this, vulnerable, was both shocking as it is confusing. 

“I just…” he sobbed, “I just love you so much. Please don’t ever leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” To you, he wasn’t making much sense but he was still valid to have these thoughts. Some people have their off days and you guessed this was his.

“Of course not, Yoon Oh.” He cried harder, somehow pulling you even closer than before, his head still hiding in the shadows of your neck.

Moments passed by before he finally lifted his head up. He looked so ethereal though he was covered in tears and the image in front of you made you want to cry yourself. 

“You’re okay. I’m right here,” you cupped his face with both of your hands, wiping away the tears on his cheek with your thumbs. He does the same to you, although you’re not crying.

“I want you with me forever,” he whispered, searching through your eyes as if he doesn’t know you like the back of his hand.

“I’ll be here.”

You don’t know if you’re lying to him with the response. But only time can tell whether the guilt forever residing in your heart gets the best of you and inevitably, to the best of him. But he’ll get over it right? He’s Jeong Jaehyun after all.

—

You’re now laying side by side on your bed. He is being cradled in your arms as he continues to calm down in the drowsiness of the late hours of the night.

“I’m sorry about breaking down earlier. I just… I don’t know, I just felt super overwhelmed all of a sudden I guess,” he lifted his head up to look at your moonlit face.

You shook your head and stroked his hair. “Don’t apologize. You deal with me all the time,” you dryly chuckled.

“Because I know what you go through… But thank you,” he rubbed your back.

“For what?”

“For being there for me when I need you most. I really appreciate it…” he trailed off for a moment, “I really appreciate you.”

“Please…” he continued, “Come live with me.” 

You don’t know if it was sympathy, pity, pure love, or all of the above. But Jaehyun was very much aware that he could treat you like a queen. Which he already does, and that makes you all the more hesitant.

“You know that-” you’re cut off.

“I know. I know you refuse to but please. You’re my entire world, Y/n. I can’t even explain to you in words how much you and your entire existence means to me,” he’s desperate now. So desperate to finally have all of you. So, so desperate to watch you flourish into the beautiful bouquet he knows you are.

You sigh and continue to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. “I’ll think about it.”

But the both of you knew the true meaning behind those words. Yet neither of you can say a word.

☹ ☹ ☹

It’s hard to ignore all of my problems

You couldn’t even count all of the imperfections and impurities that you had hiding within yourself. So much so, that you seem to project those imperfections onto the people around you. To the people that you love.

And sure, they might not notice them— ignore them, in fact— but they are clearly written out right in front of you and they don’t ever seem to go away. Which is probably why they say ‘you are your greatest enemy.’ It was true.

Yet of course, these thoughts had to swarm your mind at the grocery store. Grocery shopping, for crying out loud. With Jaehyun and with bunches of people who are too nosey to not look at you and not whisper to themselves as to why you are crying. 

With the shopping cart full, Jaehyun pulls it over to the side so as to not create traffic, and pulls you closer to him by your arms. 

He pushes the hair out of your face and leans down to see you. All of you.

“What’s wrong, my love?” He shushes you and wipes the tears off your cheeks.

This was absolutely terrible. Even the most domestic and everyday tasks were a hassle. And you felt like you were burdening Jaehyun in the busy market that only the wealthiest people had shopped at (since you were staying over Jaehyun’s again for a few days.) 

“Nothing, it’s- I’m okay,” you sucked in a breath and wiped your tears before looking up at him to meet his worried gaze.

“Are you sure?” He squinted his eyes.

You took in another breath before nodding.

“One hundred percent sure?” He patted your flyaway hairs down. You nodded again.

“I need words, angel. To make sure you’re okay. Really okay.”

“I’m okay, I promise,” you try to give him your best smile.

He only responds with the softest kiss to your forehead. 

“I need you to be with me,” he whispered against your skin.

“I am. One thousand percent. I’m okay,” you whispered back, now getting self conscious of the scene of you and Jaehyun canoodling in a grocery store on a Wednesday at eleven a.m.

He believed you, however the rest of the shopping trip went by slowly, awkwardly, and quietly.

You wished you could change the way you think. 

☹ ☹ ☹

Cause I'm no good (Ooh), you could do better (Ooh)

You should walk out, it's now or never

Ninety-nine percent of couples argue. Those statistics are completely true. No matter how often or how little, couples everywhere have their fair share of fights.

You and Jaehyun are one of those couples that rarely fight. Today, however, had not been very good to the both of you. Stress, anxiety, and more stress were eating at the both of you and now it landed you here. Just great.

“I don’t need you constantly taking care of me! I’m perfectly fine on my own!” You shouted toward him.

“Clearly you’re not if you break down every other day! I just want you to be okay,” he lets go and sits on one of the chairs in the living room. His face is hiding in his hands as he feels the anger and disappointment run through his brain.

Noticing this reaction, you sigh and furrow your eyebrows. It’s silent for a fleeting moment. “Why? You know I’ll be okay.”

You sit on the couch, opposite of the black leather chair Jaehyun is sitting in. 

“I know how much you’re hurting. And I don’t ever want you to feel those terrible feelings ever again. I want to be here for you and I want you to know that I want to be here for you. Can't you understand?”

It isn’t too much after he let out those words that you feel the tears fill up the sockets of your eyes and the void of the room. The walls that had now captured the two lovers screaming at each other now hear the abundant silence between them.

“I can't give you anything. You do so much for me and I’m just here.”

“I don’t care. No materialistic thing could ever compare to you just being here with me.” He gets up and sits next to you, making sure you know he’s with you the entire way.

“But it’s not enough.”

“Yes it is, Y/n. And I don't know what else to say to get through that thick head of yours. I love you for being you. And I love you for accepting me for who I am, not who I need to be. I don't need you to offer me anything besides your love.”

“That's the thing. I can only offer you my love.”

“I don’t care! Y/n, you need to realize how much you affect me. And I can't let you go around saying those words because they hurt me. It genuinely hurts me to hear those words.”

“…. I'm sorry.”

“Y/n, you truly don’t know how much you help those around you?”

It was silent for a moment.

“You work in a damn orphanage, for crying out loud! For fun. And it just makes me appreciate you. Appreciate how much you enjoy the happiness of other people. It’s all I could ever ask for.” He wiped the tears falling from your eyes.

“Please don’t cry. I just need you to know how much I love you. Why can't you see that? Do you not love me anymore?”

With zero hesitation, you released his hand from your face and stood up, “No! Don’t say that! Of course I still love you!”

“… it’s just that…”

“Don’t even say it, Y/n.”

The gloomy night has come to an end. And yet Jaehyun will not— will never— leave you behind. 

☹ ☹ ☹

Gonna regret being too honest

Callin' it love, but this isn’t fallin'

It’s the following morning. It is truly a gloomy morning, in fact. The rain was slowly pouring, the wind was rustling against the trees, and the upcoming fog coming from the ocean was painting the neighborhood.

The minute you woke up in Jaehyun’s arms, you remembered the fight the night prior. And, God, did you feel like an absolute ass.

Could this be it? It’s been three years and yet the question still lingers. Just why? It seems as though you bring him so much pain and yet he has chosen nothing but enduring the repercussions of your wrath.

You gradually regained the strength to get up and without a minute to spare, you quietly escaped out of Jaehyun’s protective arms to make breakfast. Some sort of remedy to help heal the pain of last night's argument.  

You sat on one of the island chairs waiting for the food to cook in the oven. Slowly but surely, you were once again trapped in your thoughts. Were you being too harsh? Were you being too honest? Were you actually enough to be with the most amazing man on planet Earth? 

All of these questions were paused by the padding of feet coming into the kitchen. You look up at him, not expecting anyone else. And in his dazed glory, Jeong Yoon Oh was still the most precious human being that had ever entered your existence.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing you’re able to say before finally crying. Crying the waves of emotions that you felt the night before yet did not physically show.

He didn’t say a single word. He didn’t have to. All he did was take you in his embrace and whispered apologies and sweet nothings into your ears. The rest of the morning went by with stuffy noses and quiet munches.

—

“I’m sorry about last night,” you apologized once again, sitting on the bed watching him get ready through the mirror.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I just want you to know that you can lean on me. You’ve been able to lean on me for years now…. I didn’t mean to yell but desperate times call for desperate measures,” says Jaehyun.

“But I'm not desperate at all, you know that.”

“Yes but don’t you know I’m so desperate for you?” 

[l-in-the-light]

Why did Law break the heart of poor Chopper? 😭🥺

Did he tho? :D I assume you mean the infamous "shut up" scene at the end of Wano. Did you know this is actually not the first time Law tells Chopper to shut up? But let's start from the beginning!

"See you around, Torao!", "Shut up!". In the anime it comes off much harsher than in the manga, in which the flow is completely different, because it happens immediately after or even in same time as Law's conversation with Luffy:

Law is trying to draw the line here, they've been in an alliance, but now it's over, so they had to know this would be the result, now they're back to being enemies. But since Law kinda expects Strawhats to forget about that (he was with them in that alliance long enough to know how "uneccessarily emotional" they are most of the time, lol), he reminds them about that, making it a very "manly" and "cool" goodbye in the end.

Except, it would stay that way, if not for Chopper destroying it all with his affectionate "see you around, Torao!" because he understands they became friends, and you say that to friends when you're parting ways, right? Chopper isn't really known for being able to "read the room", so he totally missed the vibe Law was going for. In the end Law has to shut him up before Chopper goes on to say even worse emotional stuff.

(btw Kid is not having any of this, just look at his grossed out reaction there... "set sail", it's like he's trying to make them leave faster so he doesn't have to hear their sobby pretentious goodbye lol)

You might have missed it, but it wasn't the first time Law told Chopper to shut up. The very first time it happened was in Punk Hazard, on their duo mission in the lab. Law, slightly aware they might be heard or watched, insists on Chopper hiding already because they're almost at the door. He wouldn't say it in a nice way. Don't get me wrong, I believe he is rather tamely mannered, but I can't deny there are a few things he indeed is rather rude about (though definitely still tame in comparison to other pirates): never saying greetings, for example, and also never saying "please". Apparently he uses "shut up" instead now, lol. Anyway here he told Chopper to shut up because he is worried they will be spotted and he won't say "please stay in the bag" lol.

(Law doesn't say "please" anymore, not after his last request was to Vergo and he got betrayed and Cora-san suffered as the result. Law didn't say the word "please" not even once ever since.)

Chopper is actually the first out of Strawhats crew that Law kinda bonded with. Despite Law telling him to hide, they actually talk for a bit in this scene and Law is really open with him too (telling him he can't deal with Caesar on his own and that's why he needs the help of Strawhats - a rare moment of honesty and something he didn't tell anyone else, not even Luffy). In a way, you can look at their goodbye in Wano as a callback to Punk Hazard :D

We know already Law is bad with greetings (which means also saying goodbyes). The best you can get from him is silence instead of "hi" or "bye", the worst you can get is "shut up". In Law's novel we also could see Law saying goodbye to Wolf and he struggled soooo much with it. If you thought Sanji's goodbye with Zeff was awkward, Law's goodbye with Wolf is like ten times that, haha. I will use some quotes here from the end of the novel, so if you want to skip it, now would be your cue :D (you can skip to the next image from manga!)

*cough cough* yes, it's Law saying that line: "stop, you'll make me cry". Young Law is a mood, I swear. In a way you can take it as a clue, Chopper got silenced so he won't blabble out emotional monologue like Wolf up there, melting Law's heart and pretense of toughness away.

"I have to say goodbye to the locals, as well only to those who have treated me particularly well. I think that includes the doctor and Rad".

It's worth noting that he says that as well in the novel, despite the fact we never see Law saying goodbye to practically no one in the manga. Not to Strawhats, not to Kin, not to Bartolomeo, and he was indebted to them to various degrees as well (not counting Kin, that was actually reversed). Young Law could stand goodbyes slightly better than adult Law, it seems.

A tearful goodbye between Wolf and Hearts. This is how his goodbye with Strawhats could have looked like as well, I guess? But keep in mind, when Law said his goodbye to Wolf it was pretty much the same situation like when Sanji said it to Zeff. Both were indebted to their mentors and didn't know if they will ever see each other again (and if they will, then when). Novel's ending suggests Wolf and Hearts didn't meet again and after Law announced them leaving for the Grand Line, you can be sure they never had occassion to go back to North Blue ever since. This goodbye is pretty much definitive, they won't see each other for more than a decade. The casual goodbye with Strawhats might mean they will see each other sooner than not! Especially with Chopper's foreshadowing "see you around!". Though I still think Law doesn't plan on meeting them again.

Now, is Chopper's heart truly broken by Law's response? He got shocked because Chopper doesn't understand why Law told him to shut up instead of telling him "see you around" or "take care" back. But Chopper often misreads the situation and that happens even in the Strawhats crew. At Jaya, Nami told him to dig for gold, only to scold him for something she told him to do mere moments later:

Chopper is simply bad at picking up those hints or realizing when someone asks of something unreasonable that's better to be ignored. He's also quite silly and naive, and ends up taken advantage of as the result. But mostly, all those social cues are beyond his understanding, because he's a reindeer. Chopper is also very emotional, always easily touched by someone's sad story or when seeing people crying. You can say his empathy levels are really high. Perhaps, but take it with a grain of salt, Chopper thought Law is a bit sad, maybe he picked up on his emotions that Law wanted to hide so well, so he said "see you around" to make it sound like their seperation isn't going to last very long, to cheer him up, and since no one else said it, Chopper thought he should (besides he also simply likes Law, why wouldn't he like him? they're both doctors and spent quite a long time together).

It didn't end the way Chopper wanted it to end (he probably didn't cheer up Law nor did he get any nice reply back), but it's hardly the first or the last time it happened to Chopper in the story. He can handle it, he's a tough reindeer :) sadly he probably won't learn any time soon, if at all. Also, this...

Some goodbyes are harsh for the sake of the person left behind. Here Hiruruk kicks out Chopper so the reindeer won't have to watch him dying with his own eyes. He thinks it's better to part ways before Chopper gets even more attached, so it hurts him a bit less. Hiruruk knows how kind and caring Chopper is and doesn't want him to lose his heart again. Sadly the only alternative he had was to break his heart a little, hoping it will heal fast, but at least *he won't lose it* completely. Could this also be seen as a parallel to Law's goodbye with Chopper? It might be, because I think Law is totally the same type of guy who would push people away for their own sake.

(Still, the next time they meet, Law might need to apologize to Chopper, hehe. After all he must know by now that Chopper's rumble balls literally saved his life)

That's it about Chopper, but let's go back to Law for a moment. Where did he get his habit of saying "shut up"? He did not have it as a kid... well. I think the novel gives us the answer indirectly to that (no spoilers, just two short quotes):

Wonder no more, it seems he learned that from Wolf, lol. Quite fitting because Wolf taught him how to be a responsible leader/captain as well :) Wolf loved those kids, like we can see from his goodbye scene. He kept telling them "shut up" mostly because he was embarrassed and also because he didn't want to get too attached to them at first (he had some poor experiences in his life before), and he wasn't used to have people around his house all the time, living together, sharing meals etc. Last time he had it, he lost it and he became quite bitter as the result. But spending time with Law, Bepo, Penguin and Shachi changed him a bit, to the point he could tell them that heartfelt goodbye instead of harsh words.

Now, is it just a habit Law picked up from him? Or is there something more to it? For starters, he doesn't really say "shut up" to anyone besides Chopper (and once to Luffy in One Piece Red, but there is sounds almost affectionate lol). Not to Usopp who is panicking (even if it slightly irritates Law), not even to Luffy who is always noisy (he does call him idiot though, but it's always deserved lol). But he does say it to his lovely Heart Pirates when they kept nagging him about going to the New World and he tells them "to stop yapping, shut up and follow his lead". And we know how much Law loves his Hearts. If Chopper deserved to be said to "shut up" then it already shows Law puts him in same category as his Hearts and thinks fondly of him. Just like Wolf was fond of his "stupid brats" he constantly shouted at to shut up.

One last thing, because context matters a lot as well. It's possible that Law said that to Chopper in that moment because he was afraid to get too attached to the Strawhats. Is it stretching it too far? I will let you all decide that for yourselves :D

[zoobiefish]

So, I nearly missed out on Auctober again, whoops! I am now 9 days behind, woohoo 😂😅 I’m an Autistic university student, so I may not always have the spoons to commit to this daily challenge, or at the very least I may not be able to draw something for each prompt…I may have to just write a little blurb about what that day’s prompt means to me lol But ideally I would like to contribute as many pieces of art to this challenge as I can! For now though, to catch up on all I’ve missed, I’m going to make individual short blurbs for the prompts I’ve missed thus far:

Day 1: Autism Plus

For myself, in addition to being Autistic, I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, EDNOS, and generalized anxiety. I also suspect I may have hEDS (hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). Fun stuff!

Day 2: Infinite

The most popular symbol for Autism Spectrum Disorder to my knowledge is a golden infinity ♾ symbol (sometimes I see a rainbow-coloured one in use as well, though my understanding is that the rainbow infinity symbol is used for neurodiversity as a whole). For a long time, the infamous puzzle piece 🧩 symbol was used to represent ASD—but most Autistics HATE this symbol!! I recognize that I don’t speak for all Autistic people, but this is the common opinion on the puzzle piece symbol and the one I share as well: The puzzle piece symbol is problematic because it suggests that Autistic people are inherently “missing a piece” or that we are “a puzzle to be solved.” Plus, this symbol is used by the evil corporation Autism Speaks. I would prefer not to go on a rant right now about why they’re evil; if anyone is curious, I would recommend doing research on why Autistic people HATE Autism Speaks. But the short version is that they support eugenicist policies around Autism and seek to eradicate us from existence. They treat us as non-humans under the guise of doing “charity work”—they are absolutely NOT a charity. Do NOT support Autism Speaks under any circumstances—any supporter of Autism Speaks (or as most of us spell it, “Autism $peaks”), is NO friend of mine!

Day 3: AuDHD

This is a fun little term I’ve seen in the Autism and ADHD communities! It’s a portmanteau of “Autism” and “ADHD” in case it wasn’t obvious heh! I myself do have AuDHD; it’s a very common comorbidity! It’s certainly…an interesting experience because the two often conflict with each other, as if I have 2 wolves fighting within my brain 🤪

Day 4: Music

Music is one of my favourite coping mechanisms. If I’m understimulated or need inspiration (especially for art or writing), I’ll put on some fun, energetic music to get the juices flowing and will dance and/or pace around the room to get the energy out of my system! If I’m overstimulated, relaxing videogame soundtracks are often my go-to—especially music from The Legend of Zelda, Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing etc. Another aspect of my being on the spectrum is that my thoughts are very vivid and visual. Often times when I hear music, I can’t help but see colours, shapes, images, and even stories with characters and whatnot going along to the music. It gives me great ideas for animatics and artwork! I love this fun little bonus feature in my brain haha 😛

Day 5: Verbose

This one is rather interesting for me. I find when I feel safe around a person or I have just TOO much energy to control myself, I WILL talk—and talk—and talk—etc. I feel so bad for those who fall victim to my “infodump sessions”—but just know that if I do that to you, it’s my way of showing affection. If I talk and never seem to shut up around you…I probably really like you (platonically) 😁 Other times however, I am dead silent. This is usually around people I’m uncertain of, don’t know well enough, or I may just be burntout/too tired to talk 😅

Day 6: Individuals

As the saying goes: If you’ve met ONE (1) Autistic person, then you’ve met ONE (1) Autistic person! We are NOT a hivemind, people!! Just because I’m not like your “friend’s cousin’s aunt’s 3-year-old stepson” doesn’t mean I’m “not Autistic.” The stereotype with Autism is a white cishet dude—but we are just as diverse a population as any other demographic. We all have our differences and similarities, but we are unified in our shared diagnosis—and that’s it!

Day 7: Neuroscope

Ah yes, the “superpower” Autistic people seem to have in which we can all “sense each other” 😂😂😂 I find this to be scarily accurate actually—the majority of the people I’ve become friends with at uni turned out to be Autistic, and long before they mentioned they were on the spectrum I was able to tell. The funniest part though is that they all the said same thing about me! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Day 8: Non-Speaking

So of course Autism is a spectrum, and among the ways in which Autistic people can differ from one another is whether we possess the ability to verbally speak or not. I do not want to talk in length about what being “non-speaking” means as I am not non-speaking myself and don’t wish to talk over those who are. What I do know though is that some of us are unable to verbally speak and may use alternative methods to communicate (whether through the use of sign language, AAC devices, or other means), which are equally valid methods of communication that deserve to be respected. Once again, I must iterate that I am fully capable of verbal speech and I am in no way non-speaking myself. That being said, sometimes I do have a reduced capacity to speak or feel it takes far more physical effort to speak when I am tired, stressed, overwhelmed, in sensory overload, or in the midst of a shutdown. This does NOT mean I am non-speaking—that label is exclusively for Autistic individuals who cannot verbally speak at all. I’m not sure what the proper terminology is for my specific situation (if anyone knows of it, I’d appreciate if you let me know in the comments!) but because of these situations, I am currently trying to learn ASL so I can still communicate in some way during these episodes.

And that’s it for now! I am hoping to have a drawing done by the end of today for Day 9, but we shall see! In the meantime, check out @autiebiographical on Tumblr! They are the one who started Auctober in the first place to my knowledge and they create amazing comics and other content that educates people on Autism Spectrum Disorder! Happy Auctober y’all!

[strewwwberry]

I'm adding on to - this - thought coz a commenter has made my brain worms activate

Okay so, if binghes biological parents raised him, then the whole birthing process needs to be explained in some way, here's what I've got so far

My idea originates with cang qiong mountain(CQM) and other sects finding huan hua palace's(HHP) quite sudden demand for a heavenly demons persecution to be... At the very least unceremonial

(I like to think that before the issues with TLJ, problems with demons didn't extend past occasional interferences at the borders and when demons and more dangerous/paranormal esc creatures stir issues within mortal grounds, like sower demons skinning mortals, not cool babez find food else where)

In doing so perhaps temporary imprisonment of said heavenly demon is put in order, so an investigation about his possible misdeeds could be opened, in which no transgressions, except for unconventional relations with a cultivating head disciple, could be uncovered and no arguments from HHP could carry any doubt in these insights

So the whole sealing Tianlang Jun(TLJ) is bipassed and he's pretty much told to get his ass back into the demon realm, until further notice, as to not add more fuel to an already blazing fire

During this I can imagine HHP master, Lao Gongzhu, is quite literally pulling his grey hair out and hasn't really had the time to "deal with" su xiyan's(SXY) "issue" (pregnancy), aside from imprisonment, and drugs hidden in food that she knows better then to eat, thus she is starved up until TLJ is kicked back into The demon realm

SXY has now been missing for a few weeks (surviving mainly off of cultivation, and fetus bingbing surviving mainly off of a mixture of SXY's efforts with her cultivation and having demon blood in his veins)

CQM is the first to notice her absence from basically existence due to TLJ's continuous cries over her during his temporary imprisonment

So again they dig deeper as they, and some other sects, having previously already disliked HHP due to their pompous attitude, and now having straight up evidence of questionable decisions/actions, decide that all of these odd happenings gives credence to simply not trust a thing HHP has to say

And what do you know? They find a half starved SXY pregnant in the literal underground water prison infamous for harboring what is supposed to be notorious and dangerous criminals

She Is freed and immediately put under Cian Cao Mountain for urgent care,

In addition a sort of crisis management meeting would be held after further investigation into huan hua palace's connections, motives, and actions, to basically decide if eradicating HHP and not just simply rehabilitating, changing leaders/heads etc, will be a much better idea both for uprooting corrupt yet powerful groups, and also because it takes a lot of time, money, and effort to not just redo mini placement exams to figure out where to move genuinely innocent disciples and cultivators to new sects (if they so desire)

Anywho, that's all ive got so far I'll probs carry this on after over slept lol it's like 1 am and I promised myself id start sleeping earlier 😂, hope use enjoyed this haha

[misguidedasgardian]

The Winter Sun (2)

2. No man's land

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Cregan Stark x Fem!Targaryen Reader 

Warnings: Death of characters, cursing, medieval and asoif customs, bullying, arrasment, kiss stealing, incest (c’mon is HotD), minor on minor violence, minors engaging in sexual activities, minors drinking wine, might miss some warnings

Wordcount: 3.3k

Notes: I’m running out of ideas for meet-cutes between Cregan and reader! haha and reasons for poor Cregan to travel two whole ass months to be in King’s landing. Anyways I want to say that in the White Dragon I was a stickler for the timelines and history… but here? nah, forget it! My story, my timeline, my rulezzzzz

Turns out Aemond didn’t take well to be told to fuck off

Your scalp still burned because of how hard he pulled your hair. You actually cried, he made you cry. You had never cried because of his teasing and bullying before, but now? you were tired of it, tired and angry.

When you turned around and he still had your silver braid locked in his hand, and he saw your tears, he froze. He fucking froze on his place. He released you almost immediately, and you couldn’t take it anymore and you slapped him across the face as hard as you could, as hard his face turned to the side. 

“Don’t ever touch me again!”, you threatened, and turned to leave.

As you were leaving the hallway, Steffon Mangold, a King’s guard sworn to you, appeared

“Princess, i’m very sorry, I lost you”

“I was hiding Ser, don’t feel bad”, you explained, sniffing, you didn’t want him to see you

“You are crying Princess”, he muttered sadly

“I’m very sorry”, you said

“You don’t have to be sorry, next time, I will tell him to stop, I will stop him”

“It’s fine”, you interrupted him, with a shy smile, “Tell me, how is your younger sister?”. you changed the subject

“The medicine the maester gave her thanks to you, it really helped her”

“I’m so glad”, you cheered, recuperating your normal, happy self, “could you escort me, I need to dress for tonight”

“Of course princess”

It was almost like a game, to watch all those lords and ladies play “the young wolf”, to have a moment alone with him, they all wanted him for themselves, for their daughters, Cregan Stark was beginning to be the most eligible bachelor of the seven Kingdoms.

And he did not seem happy about it.

You hid behind the columns of the side of the Throne room while you watched the lords of court hoping to have a moment alone with the infamous Cregan Stark. He should be happy shouldn’t he? but he seemed miserable.

All the ladies blushed when he passed by their side, and it was almost chemical to see the different “tactics” each one tried to gain his attention, some would swoon, others would smile at him, or fan themselves, and other pretended they didn’t even see him while they flipped their long lustrous hairs

But nothing ever worked 

The very next day, at the very same hour, you found yourself reading in your tree, and he would find himself underneath it.

“No luck?”, you asked, amused

“I’m starting to think this was a mistake, little dragon”

“Why would that be, mean wolf?”

“Mean?”, he asked, amused

“Why was it a mistake?”, you asked again

“This is some sort of circus”, he muttered

“I’m very sorry the ladies of the south do not please you, M’lord”, you mocked

“That is not it”, he mocked back, “it’s just… sad”, he said

“You will find the one mean wolf, south of the Neck”

“What did the boy have to say to you about yesterday?”, he asked, changing the subject 

“I don’t know, I told him to fuck off”, you giggled, and he chuckled, “but I can’t scape him forever, is not that I could leave”, you whispered

“Do you miss your father?”, he asked

“Did you know him?”, you asked

“Briefly”, he muttered, “he helped me when my father died, he counseled me when my uncle tried to take Winterfell away from me”, he said carefully

“Oh”

“He was a good man, and I’m sorry he is gone”, he said firmly

“Thank you, My Lord I do miss him”, there was a comfortable silence, as you played with the pages of your book mindlessly, and again, it fell from your lap, right by his side. You gasped, it was your favorite book, about dragons and their Targaryen riders, starting with Aerion and Karnax, the first ever dragon and rider bonded, and through old Valyria. You had read it thousands of times

“My book!”

“Ups sorry, second time’s the charm, it’s mine now”, he said, picking it up and taking it with him

“No!”, you jumped from the tree, but he was already walking away. 

“I’ll give it back the next time we see each other”, he said with a shy smile, and then he turned and left. Under your amused gaze.

Turns out you were right.

After a week of pitiful courting, and chasing, and blushes and rejections, a light showed the way for Cregan Stark

And that light was Alysanne Blackwood.

When she showed up at court all the other ladies gave up, she was some sort of legend, she was feisty, beautiful, and brave, they say she hunted with bow and arrow and had the precision of an eagle in the hunt, and she rode horses as well, she was tall and lean, and had beautiful long curly hair. 

The game was pretty much won.

And just like that, Cregan left court with a fiery betrothed. And you were happy for him, happy because when you arrived at your chambers the night he had left, you found a surprise, a book about tales and legends of the North. Inside, it read, “property of the library of Winterfell”, and you smiled widely. 

126 AC. Reader is 16 years old

It had been three more years until you even heard of Cregan Stark, apparently, he was a widower again. Alyssane has passed from a fever, and he was started to be known as “the lone wolf”

You lowered your gaze when you heard Uncle Viserys speaking about it, your uncle had also got a fever which he never recovered from. He was sicker by the day, and the maesters had started to exchange concerned looks. The worst part is that everybody knows, the court has once again grown grim.

You would have thought that cousin Rhaenyra would have shown her face, but she didn’t, not until now, not until… The King was bed-bound and Lord Corlys Velaryon suffered from a fatal wound.

So Rhaenyra was summoned to court to discuss who would inherit Driftmark, her son who everybody called a bastard, or… Vaemond Velaryon, Corlys brother.

You were watching Aemond train, with Criston Cole in the courtyard, when the Velaryon entered the game field, they wasted no time in spotting you walking towards you with smiles on their faces, mocking smiles, you caressed the idea in your mind of turning around and running away, but you couldn’t do that, you were now a woman grown.

“Dear aunt, how’ve you grown”, admired Jacaerys, and you only rolled your eyes. He had grown also, he was a young man now, you would even consider him handsome, if he wasn’t such a prick. 

“Nice to see you again nephew”, you muttered softly, and smiled at them both, they looked back at you without shame, you were an adult now, a woman grown. Nothing to be ashamed of, but the change was obvious between all of you

“I haven’t seen you since…”

“Driftmark”, you answered, “if you excuse me, nephews, I have a sewing class”, dragonshit, you didn’t, but you ran away either way

“Nephews, have you come to train, or to stare at another man’s things?”, Asked Aemond.

To Aemond, you were his, his thing, his property, his to do as he pleased.

He enjoyed watching you squirm on his grasp, he enjoyed your scared eyes, but above all else, he enjoyed your nervousness around him, he knew that you weren’t oblivious to his advances, you liked to play with him, that is what he thought about you. Three years ago he changed his tactic, he didn't want your tears, he wanted your nervousness, your blushes, your gasps.

So instead of shoving you he started grabbing you, instead of pulling your hair he began to gift you things, things he knew you’d like, books, trinkets bought in the streets of King’s Landing, and flowers. But instead of bringing you joy, these gifts brought you fear. You did not want him, nor his attention, you’d wish you’d disappear to him.

He had never spoken a kind word to you in his life, and now he was giving you presents?

No. 

You had designed your life to avoid him, your classes, your teaching with the septas, your time in the dragonpit, everything was made to avoid him, and it had worked to perfection so far. 

But as you read in the God’s wood, you felt watched, and when you raised your eyes you saw Daemon Targaryen on the flesh, the Rogue Prince

Your uncle

He was a stranger to you, he had never even spoken to you, every time you saw him, he would look away, you didn’t know why, you didn’t know it hurt him physically to look at you because it was like looking at his brother come again, and he missed him. But you never knew that.

He was looking straight at you and you became so nervous you knew no better than to wave awkwardly at him, he only smirked, and left you alone again.

Weird ass family you were born yourself into.

Court turned sour the day of the hearings, you were instructed, passive-aggressively, you needed to be there, and since you had more acquaintances amongst your cousins that is where you stood. Alicent had suggested you dress in green, but you dismissed her “suggestion”, wearing pink instead, a neutral color, far from any houses.

And you felt eyes on you, you looked across the room and there he was again, Daemon, this time, he nudged Jacaerys, and they both looked at you, and you moved uncomfortably. You had been living in this court and inside this family for six years, why did you still feel like an outsider? Why did you feel like you didn’t belong?

Why the dark comments about bastarcy, the angry looks, the tension, the violence

You didn’t understand it. Nor the need for all of it

Because of the ugly chair?

No

Absolute power.

When Vaemond called Rhaenyra a whore, and your nephews bastards, ande Daemon took his head… you left the throne room, disgusted by the blood and the brains, you couldn’t handle it, you didn’t have the stomach for it

Instead you decided to lurk the hallways, this audience had stopped all life in the castle anyways, no lessons or classes were being held today. 

You knew this night the King had invited you to a dinner, hosted to honor Rhaenyra’s visit, and he wanted to gather all of his family, and you thought it was sweet. As you were walking towards the private dining room of the Royal chambers, you accidentally eavesdropped a conversation you shouldn’t have.

“Marrying Jace with Baela is a mistake”, said Daemon

“She is your daughter, and he is my son”, fought Rhaenyra

“Aegon’s daughter…”, he said, “is a better match”

“She holds no real title, no lands…”

“She is his daughter”, he continued, “Aegon’s only child”

“Daemon…”

“You want the greens to have her?”, you wanted to hear no more, and you kept walking. 

You wanted nobody to have you, you were not a thing to have, you were a girl of your own

When you arrived at the dining hall, something happened that had never happened before, both Aemond and Jacaerys wanted you to sit among them, and you looked around uncomfortably, wanting to sit everywhere but near them, but that wasn’t possible, you ended up sitting right in the middle of them both.

“So tell me aunt, what have you been up to these past years?”, started Jace, and you smiled fakely

“Well, I've been reading a lot”, you muttered, hiding your disgust in a cup of wine, “and riding Vhaelar”

“Remember when we used to mock you because we thought Vhaelar wasn’t real?”, he giggled, like it was the best time of your life

“I remember vividly”, you answered bitterly, and Aemond right by your side chuckled

“What is so funny uncle?”, asked Jacaerys, already tired of him

“That you think that was some sort of fond memory for her”, he mocked 

“Well, we were children and we were bonding…”

“I wouldn't call it that”, said Aemond, and they started passively-aggressively attacking each other all through dinner, on top of that you felt Daemon’s gaze over you again, as he was watching, amused, the interaction between your cousin and nephew

They couldn’t possibly be attacking each other because of you, couldn’t they?

And to make it better, the toasts begin.

First it was Jace, toasting to the fond memories of your youth, and Aemond mumbling against his cup that truly it wasn’t, and then Rhaenyra and Alicent sharing toasts as well, that was kind of nice, so you smiled contently, but as the night went trough, Aemond felt it was time for his own toast

“A last tribute”, he said, raising his cup, “to the health of my nephews, each of them handsome, wise… Strong”

And all hell break loose

“I dare you to say that again”, said Jacaerys, raising from the table, so did Luke

Alicent tried to stop Aemond, but to no avail, he released himself from her grasp, while facing Jacaerys and you almost got caught on the cross fire.

Jace punched Aemond, but he barely moved. You knew how good he was fighting, a punch like that was not going to move him. Aemond only smiled and with a single hand pushed Jacaerys and send him flying on his ass to the ground

And Rhaenyra sent you all to your rooms, and you obliged, even if she wasn’t speaking to you directly.

But as you were walking towards your chamber, Aemond, who had left the room before everyone else, catch up to you

“(Y/N)”, he greeted firmly

“Aemond, the hour is late”, you said tiredly, “you should rest”

“Are you going to go find Jacaerys?”, he asked

“Why would I?”, he grabbed you by your wrist, stopping you, “Aemond”

“You like that bastard more than me?”, he mocked, “me?”

“No!”, you yelped

“Do you?”, he shook you, making you gasp

“No!”, he pushed you against the wall and trapped you with his own body.

“You are mine”, he growled, and you shook your head, “not that bastard’s”

“No! release me!”, you fought with all your might, but Aemond was strong, years and years of training. 

He quieted your pleas with his mouth, kissing you. You still shook against him, but he seemed determined, so he tried to immobilize you, grabbing both your wrist with one of his big hands and the other.

He grabbed your hip, roughly, pressing you against the stone. You whimpered when he finally released your mouth.

Your first kiss, stolen.

You whimpered again… tears threatening to come out

“Prince Aemond”, you looked at the end of the hall, to see Ser Steffon there, “the princess asked for release”, he warned, Aemond only chuckled, and released you

“I expect you in my room later”, he said firmly, “or I’ll go to you” 

Aemond left, and so did you

“I have to leave”, you cried, “really”, he only nodded. Steffon accompanied you to your room to get things, and then, he escorted you to the Dragonpit.

“People at your old home will be waiting for you”, he whispered as you were walking by his side through the streets of King’s Landing, “you will be safe there, tomorrow, I’ll explain everything to the King and Queen”

“They never believe Aemond grabbed me like that”, you whispered

“So I’ll say you just left for your home”, he said, and you nodded.

And as Rhaenyra departed at the late hours towards Dragonstone again, you found Vhaelar. 

Your father’s dragon.

“Hey sweet girl”, you greeted, she cooed at you from her place in the pit, watching you with emotion in her deep golden eyes. “care for a ride?”

She didn’t like to be trapped in the Pit, when you lived with your father she used to hide in caves imbedded in cliffs near the castle, not here, all crowded with other dragons.

You guided her outside, you brought a small bag with a couple of dresses and you were wearing your riding gear. You couldn’t stay here any longer, there is so much Steffon could do to keep Aemond at bay, and your aunt? she won’t do anything to protect you, not even your cousin. 

So you rode your dragon in the middle of the night, back to the place your father raised you in, a castle near Runestone.

People that still lived in the castle received you with open arms and in their nightgowns, surprised but happy

“We were waiting for you little princess”, many would say, as they lead you to your childhood bedroom.

Your uncle the King had kept the place running, paying the servants and letting them stay, it was his way of honoring your late father, a brother he loved so much. He had hopes one day that you would come here with your husband, and live it once again. 

Even Vhaelar seemed happy to be here, flying over the cliffs you hear her roar happily, you watched her through the window and you saw her white-silvery scales shining under the moonlight. 

When you were a girl you used to think she came from the moon itself, and your father, giggling, would never correct you. 

You know you couldn’t ran away for ever, the King was going to call you back to King’s Landing, what were you going to do then?, but you had turned sixteen a couple of weeks ago, you were technically of age, you could, demand to stay here. 

You were right, a week later a letter arrived, from the King himself, in it he demanded you return to King’s Landing, promising you he was going to control Aemond, and let you come back to your home when you turned eight and ten.

Additional to that, you received a letter from the Queen, who promised Aemond was not going to bother you ever again.

You took one more week to reply, and ended up spending one whole moon in your castle, before you willingly returned to King’s Landing. Your home was your home, but you were the only one living in it, you didn’t like to be alone.

When you came home, Aemond greeted you politely, and then backed away, he still gave you little presents, but that was it, he never touched you again. 

But The rumors you heard and what Joanna told you… they were going to betrothed you to him, but the King wouldn’t hear of it, your clock was ticking, to find your own match before it was too late and when your Uncle was gone they were going to make you marry him.

In the far North, Cregan was looking down the hall and its people. His sister Sara by his side, smiling reassuringly up at him.

It had been one year after the death of Alyssane, and all the lords had gathered to hear their concerns. 

He was twenty eight, unmarried, without heirs, a widower of not only one, but two wifes

“If I fail to produce an heir, and perish before”, he said firmly, “the seat of Winterfell shall pass to my younger cousin Bran”, he announced, and the lords showed their disappointment, “this is my decision”, and he left the hall, still hearing the complaints and the rushed voices of the lords and ladies of the North.

Sara tried to run to catch up him, she eventually did

“You are not marrying again?”, she asked

“What is the point?”, he asked roughly, “I found love twice and the gods did not seemed me worthy enough to keep it”

“That is not it!”, she said hastily, “Cregan… you will find love again”

“Doubt it”

“What about my dreams? my visions?”, she said

“Sara, unless a beautiful maid comes flying up here, I swear, I’m not looking for a wife again”, he said finally, and kept walking. 

Sara just smiled, content. 

Taglist! ❤️

@severewobblerlightdragon @missusnora @stargaryenx @poppyreader

[rollforfelicity]

finally finished the season and was curious if you had any thoughts on the junior year finale?

Yes! I watched it when it came out and I'm kind of bad at remembering what happens in shows, haha, but I do have some thoughts (these will probably be more "entire season" thoughts rather than JUST the finale thoughts).

Overall, I really enjoyed this season. It was really funny, and maybe one of the seasons I laughed at the most, and since I view Dimension 20 as a comedy show first, that's a big selling point to me.

I don't know how I feel about the down time mechanic. On the one hand, I think it's the only way they could have done this season, since it seemed like they were pretty set on it taking the whole year. On the other hand, there were quite a few rolls that Brennan said we'd come back to that I don't think were fully addressed (I could be wrong about how many, I'd have to go back and re-watch.) When they first introduced the mechanic, I thought it was basically a way for time to quickly pass while establishing how the school year was going, so each roll wouldn't involve too many scenes or roleplay, which I thought was smart. But then they did involve a ton of scenes and roleplay! So I have mixed feelings.

Similarly, it did feel like some things that could have been fun were underexplored because there was SO much jammed into this season, plot-wise. That's partially the medium of Actual Play, and partially being ambitious with how much they included. I love the idea of character foils or "dark reflections" of characters, and I wish we would have gotten a little more time with the Rat Grinders. We ended with a lot of implications about them, but I kind of wish there would have been a "this is what happened with them exactly" kind of moment. I guess they were all killed by Porter while on an adventure? Maybe I'm forgetting stuff and there was a more clear answer. I'm usually playing Power Wash Simulator while I'm watching Dimension 20 so sometimes I miss things.

Specific finale stuff! Gorgug and Unit and Gorgug and Mary Ann were both so funny. Zac is one of the funniest people alive. Brennan cannot keep his NPCs from flirting with Zac, and Zac cannot say no to a funny bit. I thiiiiink the finale was also the "Say it don't spray it" moment, which was incredible. Murph using Hold Person to take out Kipperlily was great, so tactical, so timely.

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I think the finale episode retroactively made the infamous "blimey" moment less funny. I wish Brennan wouldn't have gone back on having K2 destroyed. His rationale was that she actually did have access to Divine Intervention but also he gave advantage on the roll which isn't how the ability works, so I think having K2 be destroyed was fair and also really funny.

I was a little underwhelmed by the Bad Kids reactions to Ankarna's scenes with each of them. It felt like none of them knew exactly what was going on, and even though they had some good character moments, it felt muddled and I wasn't sure what was supposed to happen or honestly even what *did* happen there.

I liked Buddy's new god and Kalina showing up. I don't think she's evil, I think she just knows that Ankarna wants to kill her, so she's hitching her wagon on a new star.

Brennan said something during the final Adventuring Party about how if people would have laughed more at Gilear saying they were getting a dog that Fabian's mom wouldn't have been pregnant, which confirms something I've always thought! Obviously a lot of Dimension 20 is planned in advance because of the sets, but I've always felt like sometimes when things don't make sense it's because they decide something on the fly because it's funny. Even Porter being evil was decided because it would be funny (although that obviously wasn't decided on the fly). It makes sense why sometimes the pacing and plot of the shows are a little weird, because they're actual plays, and they're comedic APs at that. It's kind of heartwarming that it seems like even though they're making a show, they're all mostly just trying to make each other laugh, because if they make each other laugh, it'll probably make the audience laugh too.

Thanks for the ask! There's probably a lot of other stuff I thought that I've forgotten, haha. Would love to hear what you thought of the finale, too!

[snapscube]

inFamous' karma system is simply binary and way too rigid to be compelling. "Oh you think bullies should be opposed? Then you're on the babykilling spectrum"

And the gameplay needs to be reworked and expanded tremendously to have incorporate a multifaceted Karma system, which is simply too much effort that neither Sony or SuckerPunch seem to be interested in spending

I think for the time period the early games were released in it was novel and mostly well done but I think if the series wants to survive a modern revival then, PERSONALLY, my hope would be to go the route of the immersive sim genre (or even like, Undertale for a weirder example haha) and leave narrative consequences purely up to gameplay choices rather than dedicated Karma Moments. You lose some of the immediate presentational satisfaction and flare yes, but I think it would be so much more interesting if players like didn’t even fully realize just how much their choices were affecting their story experience until it’s far too late. I think this way you also get rid of the weird situation where in inFAMOUS you really don’t make hero or villain choices as you play the game. Technically you do, but like… how many people are playing half the game making hero choices and then suddenly deciding “uh wait actually i’m gonna sacrifice this civilian so i don’t hallucinate for a bit”. Like, you only really hear about “Good playthroughs” or “Evil playthroughs” and nothing more nuanced because there are legitimate gameplay and power progression reasons to stick to a single karmic path through the whole game. Upgrades are locked behind karma levels of either disposition. It would be a LOT more work and at higher risk of missing the mark to go for a more hidden, nuanced approach yes. But man, if you could pull it off you would have something REALLY special by the end of it I think.

[oneinathousand]

I recently found a pdf of an alleged Blood Meridian movie script written by a guy named William Monahan for Ridley Scott's attempt to make the movie, and let me tell ya, it is truly something else. At first, I refused to believe that it could be real because of some atrocious dialogue and truly baffling changes from the novel. I thought that it MUST have either been written as a prank or it was an amateur trying to pass it off as real, but on Twitter I talked to the guy who leaked the script online in the first place and now I'm more inclined to think that, unfortunately, it was legitimate.

Below are screenshots of some of the worst parts. You'll notice that a lot of the text is in red, but I think it must have been somebody on the Cormac McCarthy forums, where this comes from, highlighting some of the differences from the book, but this was the only pdf I could find so whatever. I also put in a few handwritten notes to express my frustration haha.

If you want to look at the full thing yourself, you can find it here, but I should warn you in advance that on top of the usual Blood Meridian type of violence that you would expect, the screenwriter also put in a sprinkle of random homophobia and underage sex which was NOT in the book and I will be showing those screenshots last with another warning so you know where they are in the script and can avoid it if you want to.

Okay, this part gave me a chuckle. Maybe it's not the best time for a joke from the Judge, though:

These next two come from the ending, which, if you were already aware of this script's existence, you probably heard about because it's the most infamous part. For those who don't know, the screenwriter decides to put in a bizarrely happy ending where the Kid slays the Judge in the jakes and adopts Randall, the brother of the boy that the Kid killed in self-defense (and there's no significant time skip in this version, so the Kid is in his late teens at most probably):

This random fucking nugget of homophobia is on page 32 of the script. I have no idea what this was in here for since it never comes up again and the script leaves out most of the children going missing or being found dead along the way:

And here's the Kid having sex because the screenwriter in their infinite wisdom decided that was missing from the Blood Meridian experience, it's on page 70:

So yeah, good thing this particular adaptation never got made. I just picked the screenshots that were the most obviously awful, but the biggest problems with the script are a very rushed opening act that compresses a bunch of story elements and character introductions to the point of confusion plus the cringy saccharine happy ending that was part of the reason why I thought the script was a joke at first. When the script adheres closer to the book, mostly in the middle, it's not the worst thing in the world. It has a few clever bits of streamlining the book and most of the characters sound like themselves, though the biggest problem there is that the Judge feels like a different character.

Someday I hope to read other scripts trying to adapt the movie from Steve Tesich, James Franco, and Tommy Lee Jones to see how each of them tackled the book, though to my knowledge none are publicly available online, but do let me know they are somewhere and you can lead me to it. This particular effort has set the bar very low.

Most of all I want to know if Cormac McCarthy wrote a complete draft of his attempt before he died. If this latest attempt to make the movie falls through, I hope that the script, if it exists, is released to the public so we can see what would certainly be one of the last things he wrote.

[disconnected-from-reality]

Fanfic rec: Bones B&B - 6x09 (Doctor in the Photo)

Have you ever had a phase in your fanfic reading journey when you are just fixated on a specific part/episode/scene, and you just want to read every single alternate outcome or fix-its the fanfics out there have there to offer?

Well, me too, and this is how this post has come to life! It's quite a shame there's not a lot of fanfics out there for this episode, so I tried to list the fics that could possibly scratch the itch. Haha!

Fanfics in this list are set either during or post Doctor in the Photo. You will be able to recognize on the very start of each fanfic. And as usual, all are complete with happy endings.

Enough about my ramblings. Have fun reading!

The Anthropologist in the Accident by Serendipity730 [Words: <32,019 | T: Suitable for teens] This is set before the final scenes of the Doctor in the Photo. What if Booth hadn't been there to rescue Bones from the car?

Secrets and Regrets by CJsMom [Words: <50,910 | T: Suitable for teens] Post Doctor in the Photo. Brennan doesn't confess to Booth, but tries to deal with her regrets on her own. Eventual B & B.

Try by MiseryMaker [Words: <29,774 | T: Suitable for teens] Post "Doctor in the Photo" fic. No matter how dark it gets and no matter how many times they screw it up, it's never too late. Not when two people are really in love.

Quicksand by MoreBonesPlz [Words: <46,783 | T: Suitable for teens] What if after the infamous B&B conversation in the truck during The Doctor in the Photo where Booth told Brennan she'd missed her chance, Brennan didn't acquiesce? What if once opened, she no longer found it possible to close the Pandora's box with respect to her feelings for Booth?

Change in the Story by TheZygomaticArch [Words: <79,749 | T: Suitable for teens] I didn't like how the relationship between B&B was handled after Doctor in the Photo- so here's is my alternative. I wanted more struggle and passion! And then what happens when they DO get together? Lots of love,conflict,&twists. Same crimes. New story.

Stars Above Our Heads by TempeJill [Words: <42,341 | T: Suitable for teens] Following the events of The Doctor in the Photo, Booth severely distances himself from Brennan, leaving her to feel lost and alone, without even the comfort of Angela or the other squints to help her through it all.

The Heart Won't Lie by razztaztic [Words: 16,531 | T: Suitable for teens | Also Available in Ao3 | Ao3 Account Required] My story for the 2012 Secret Santa Fanfic Exchange, organized by Biba79, which answers this prompt: "What if Booth hadn't been able to get to Brennan in time and she was hit by the car in 'Doctor in the Photo?"

You Look Like Yourself, But You're Somebody Else by cortexx [Words: 90,073 | Mature | Also Available in FFN] A different series of events that follow 6x09 - The Doctor in the Photo

The Prize in the Consolation by LJLanham [Words: <8,438 | T: Suitable for teens] Another follow-up to "The Doctor in the Photo." Will Booth and Brennan both come to their senses with a little help from Angela?

Let me know what you think of this list. I'd love to have some feedback! I'll be back with a new list soon, hopefully!

Looking for other fanfic recommendations? I might have something you're interested in, or if you have requests feel free to ask!

[wzrd-wheezes]

The Wolf's Arms: Part One. Marauders x Reader

This is a purely self indulgent fic about two things that I love. The marauders and the pub. This will probably turn into a series of fics that don’t really link because I have so many ideas for it. It’s not set in a particular time period, mainly like 70’s ish but there might be some modern things sprinkled in along the way just for shits and giggles. Sorry if that’s annoying but I love creating my own time period so I can have things exactly the way I want them haha. Please let me know if this fic is hard to understand as I know there will be a lot of references to UK culture things along the way (not in this part I dont think) – feel free to drop me an ask if there’s anything you don’t understand/want me to explain.  This is a platonic!marauders x reader fic

Friday night pub nights had become a monthly occurrence for them now. It was any excuse really. Sad? Pub. Celebrating? Pub. Hungry? Pub. Traumatic life event? Pub. The four of them had become regulars now. Every time sitting at the same table in the back. The landlord often joked with them that the pub would go under if they ever stopped coming.  

It had taken them a while to choose a pub. Their pub. It was a meticulous process that they all took very seriously. They had spent countless nights doing pub crawls throughout the city, trying to find which pub suited them best. Best beer on tap, best prices, within walking distance so they could stumble back home.  

“That one’s my favourite so far.” Remus decided one night as they left the third pub on their pub crawl.  

Sirius barked out a laugh, slinging an arm around Remus’s shoulders. Partly in mock affection, partly to steady himself after the few drinks he’d had. “You’re only saying that because it’s got the cheapest pints so far.” 

“You’re easily swayed, Moony.” James shook his head at him, leading the group to the next pub along the street. Just as they rounded the corner onto the next dimly lit street, Y/N interjected. 

“Speaking of sway, did anyone else notice the shady bloke in the corner?”  a grimace contoured her features, “I swear he was selling meat from his jacket.” 

“Hah! The infamous Hog’s Head Meat Man!” James exclaimed, a grin spreading across his face. “Sure, he’s a dodgy one, but he’ll give you a good deal on some bacon if you’re brave enough to ask.” 

“Yeah. I don’t really fancy eating some blokes pocket meat, thanks though.” Sirius scrunched up his face in disgust, “Where to next?” 

Undeterred from the last shady establishment, they pressed on, venturing into a number of different pubs, until finally, they stumbled upon one that felt like home. It was tucked down a narrow alleyway, easy to miss if you weren’t paying attention.  

The inside was dimly lit from the mounted wall lights, casting soft shadows against the exposed brick. The air was thick with the smell of cigarette smoke and spilt beer – a scent which sounds disgusting but made the four of them nudge each other and grin as they stepped inside. The actual bar spanned about half the length of the room, polished mahogany adorned with rows of brass taps, their labels worn and faded with age.  

Mismatched tables and chairs filled the space, ranging from rickety wooden stools to worn, plush armchairs. Each table, although being scratched from rigorous cleaning, still had the infamous sticky sheen to it that all pub goers will be familiar with. Much to their delight an old jukebox stood proudly in the corner of the room, Remus immediately fumbled in his pocket for some change. 

“Typical Moony. Straight to the jukebox instead of straight to the bar.” James teased as he leaned over the bar to survey the selection of beers on tap. Remus, who had already begun to select songs, looked up momentarily only to flip the bird at James.  

While James got the round in, it was left up to Y/N and Sirius to decide what table the group would settle on. After a quick once-over of the pub, they decided on a table in the corner, nestled beneath a dimly lit lampshade, and much to Remus’s delight, only a few steps away from the jukebox. With a nod of agreement, they made their way over to claim their spot.  

Precariously trying to carry four pints in only two hands, James returned a moment later, putting the glasses down on the table with a soft thud, some of the liquid sloshing over the edge.  

“Cheers, you lot.” Remus exclaimed, raising his glass. The group, a few pints deep and sporting glassy eyes and wide smiles, joined in, clinking their glasses together. 

“What’s the verdict on this place?” Sirius asked, taking a sip of his beer. 

“Well-” Remus started. 

“Ah, ah, hold it right there.” Y/N interjected, “After your last ‘gem’ turned out to be the Hog’s Head, I think we should put your pub-picking privileges on probation.” she punctuated her remark with a playful jab to Remus’s ribs. 

“Hey! It had character!” Remus feigned offense, “and besides, it’s not my fault that they had a creative idea of what hygiene is.”  

“Creative? I’m pretty sure that I saw two rats shagging in the corner.” Sirius retorted, earning a round of laughter from the group.  

“Alright, alright.” Remus conceded, holding his hands up, “the Hog’s Head was a bit of a shitter, but this pub’s a winner, yeah?” 

“Agreed,” James chimed in, raising his glass once again, “To new beginnings and hopefully less questionable pubs!” 

“To less questionable pubs!” the others chorused, once again knocking their glasses together before taking a large swig of their drinks. 

“I feel like we should have toasted this pub. Just because I’ve decided that this is the best one.” Y/N said, looking around thoughtfully, “Although, I didn’t actually get a look at the sign before we came in, so I couldn’t actually tell you what it’s called.” 

“The Wolf’s Arms!” a voice called out from the other side of the room. They all snapped their heads round, curiosity piqued, and their eyes fell on a lone man seated at the bar. His cheeks were flushed from the booze, and a cigarette dangled from his lips. 

“To The Wolf’s Arms!” they echoed, toasting for the third time that night. 

[seangelfish]

Hi there!! I really like your Hypmic fics so far, they're truly amazing!!

So uhm.. can i request a headcanon for samatoki with a younger sister??

She's like in high school and has a little anxiety or depression.

You can add a little, short scenario at the end if you can! Thank you?

Thank you so much! I’m so excited to write more Hypmic fics!! o(≧▽≦)o I like this request a lot, and I love the Aohitsugi siblings. However, there might be some angst here because I actually want this to be realistic if he were to have an even younger sister. Tbh, I wasn't really sure how to write this, but I hope you enjoy reading anyway! ♡

Samatoki Aohitsugi w/ a younger sister

Genres/types: Headcanons (a bit of angst, fluff)

Word count: 1,810

Plot/summary: You’re Samatoki’s youngest sister, age 15/16, who still attends high school. Because of your brother’s line of work, you barely see him, resulting in neglect; and because of your older sister’s disappearance, you’ve developed depression. Being in this family pains you, but Samatoki tries to make it up to you.

UPDATE: Rewrote some stuff. I felt like I wrote this too much like a story than actual headcanons, sorry!

— You're his youngest sister, his only family left. The day Nemu went missing, he became even more protective of you. Because he's an infamous yakuza and leader of MAD TRIGGER CREW, he does his best to keep you hidden. He doesn't want to take the risk of having any of his enemies find out about your existence.

— As a result, you barely see him. Sure, he calls and texts you everyday and sends you money to take care of yourself, but it's just not the same. You used to share this apartment with Nemu, but she's no longer here with you anymore, so it feels even more lonely.

— Everyday is the same. He texts you good morning if he's too busy to call. You eat breakfast by yourself. You walk yourself to school. When the school day is over, you return home to be greeted by silence. You cook dinner for yourself, knowing that there's no one to share it with. Then Samatoki would call you to ask you how you are, to wish you goodnight.

— Some nights, you'd cry yourself to sleep. By time, you've developed depression. Living like this took a huge toll on you. Sometimes you'd stay outside late, worrying your older brother when you won't pick up his calls. You don't do much outside anyway. You just sit by the river, taking in the fresh air.

— Samatoki is always thinking of you though. He wonders what you’re doing, whether you’re holding up. He always looks forward to calling you. He loves listening to your voice.

— But every second of the day, your mind would flashback to the time when the three of you Aohitsugi siblings were together, when Samatoki would ruffle your hair, when Nemu would hug you. You missed those times so much.

— So you looked forward to your brother's calls too. He'd call you at exactly 8 in the morning and at night. You'd sit by your phone waiting for it to ring.

"Hey, (Y/N). How are you doing? How's school today? Are you eating well?"

"Yes, I'm fine, nii-chan. I've cooked myself tonkatsu for dinner today."

"Haha, that's good. As long as it isn't instant noodles. Ah, I wish I could eat dinner with you."

You were silent for a while before saying, "Then eat dinner with me."

"(Y/N), you know I can't—"

"Nii-chan, I can't stand this anymore!" you cry. "I miss you so much. I miss nee-chan too. It's so lonely here... I just want to eat breakfast with you, I want you to greet me when I come home from school, and I want us to cook dinner together! Why can't I just have a normal life with you? I understand why you've made your choices, but I hate how it has come to this."

Samatoki flinches at your words because he understands how you're feeling, but because of his line of work, he just can't be there for you physically.

"(Y/N), I'm sorry... there's nothing that I can do," he says softly.

"...I know."

— But he also knows that he can't just leave you alone like that. He's been having these thoughts linger in the back of his mind for weeks, months even. It was fine leaving you alone before since you had Nemu with you, but Samatoki knows he can't leave you stranded for any longer. To make matters worse, he knows you have depression, so he tries his best to supply you with the best medication and calls you everyday, facetimes you when he isn't busy too.

— After that interaction with your brother, you've stopped picking up his calls on time. This worries him a lot. He knows that you've been doing this before, but he's even more anxious now that you've poured your heart out to him. You haven't picked up your phone for what seems to be ten minutes, but he's already running around Yokohama trying to find you.

"(Y/N)!" he yells.

"Nii-chan...?" you say, looking up at the tall figure from the bottom of the hill.

Samatoki is relieved to see that you're okay. He runs down the hill and embraces you into a tight hug. You return the hug without hesitation as he strokes your hair gently.

"Stop wondering around at night," he hisses. "I was so worried."

You bury your head in his chest. "Sorry" was the only word you could say.

He shakes his head. "No, I should be sorry... I was trying to protect you, but I never really thought about how this would impact you. I wish Nemu was here... she'd know what to do."

"Mhm, I wish that too."

He sighs, still embracing you, never wanting to let you go. Despite the fact you were 15/16, he still thought of you as the child he had to spoon-feed, the child he had to put into bed. In his eyes, you were still that little kid that would pester him to read you your favourite bedtime story.

"(Y/N), I can't live with you the way we both want to," he states. "But I will try to visit you more often. I promise you."

You're not sure how he's going to do that, but he never breaks his promises, so you agree.

— The next time you leave school, he's there waiting outside the gates for you. You didn't recognise that it was him at first due to the stupid disguise he decided to wear, but you were happy to see him nevertheless.

"Nii-chan!" you exclaim, jumping into his arms. "You're here!"

"Yep, I'm here," he says, hugging you back.

— So, that's his plan. From then on, Samatoki hangs out with you in his disguise. He still can't live with you in your apartment as he doesn't want to take the risk, but he's willing to make up for all the lost time by taking you to eat breakfast outside, by picking you up after school, and when he is feeling a little bit risky, he just MIGHT join you for dinner.

"Nii-chan, this is how you cut carrots. Watch carefully, okay?"

"Yes, sensei!"

The two of you prepare the table with the food you have cooked together. You say your thanks before digging in.

"This looks good," Samatoki compliments, pinching your cheek playfully. "You really do know how to cook."

"You should give yourself credit, nii-chan. You helped too!"

He laughs and you follow suit. It's nice to finally eat dinner with him under the same roof. Even if you only have this hour with him, it really feels like you're living a normal life for once.

— He notices how you're a lot happier these days, and this makes him happy too.

– He cares more about your depression than you do. Of course, you were taking care of yourself more than before, but he is frantic about your wellbeing.

"You're taking your meds everyday, right?" he asks. "Make sure you don't miss a day."

"Nii-chan, you're always reminding me anyway," you say. "I'm taking them, don't worry."

– He's surprisingly affectionate, not only with his words, but with his actions too. He likes wrapping his arm around you and ruffling your hair. Nowadays, you see him twice or thrice a week, so he'd hug you during those times too. He never misses an opportunity to kiss your forehead either. You were his dear sister that he loves.

"I love you."

"I love you too, nii-chan."

— He's always so busy leading his subordinates and taking care of Yokohama, but he always looks forward to spending his time with you.

– Since he is able to see you more often nowadays, he's always trying to find a gift for you. He knows you so well that he ends up getting you something you really like.

– Morning and nighttime calls have improved since then too. He'd talk about what he has done with the other members of MTC like how Rio keeps offering him his cooked food. You'd laugh at his stories for which he enjoys your laugher.

– For nighttime calls, he'd stay on the line until you fall asleep. He just wants you to actually go to bed on time.

– Yet when you do hang out in person, he'd take you shopping and you'd eat out together too. You'd force him to try out the family activities Yokohama has to offer. He has to admit that it was pretty fun.

– Whenever he's with you, all he wants to do is spoil you, and because of his status, he is able to do so. He'll give you anything you ask for, no questions asked.

– Because of your age, you don't want to hold hands with him, but he kind of wishes that you did. He reminisces the days when he'd hold your hand when you were younger alongside Nemu too.

— He only wants to see you smile, to be truly happy. He promises you that he'll find Nemu, and that he'll continue to give you the best life he could never have. This time, he'll be there for you in the flesh, to wipe away your tears, to hold you like he used to when you were just a kid.

— Because you're his youngest sister, his only family left after all.

[Extra]

You woke up to the doorbell ringing. As you approached the front door, you checked the peep hole to see who it was. It was the delivery man. You opened the door for him and you were suddenly presented a big bouquet of flowers.

"Order for (Y/N) Aohitsugi," the delivery man states.

"Yes, that's me," you say, astonished at how big the bouquet was.

He hands it over to you, wishing you a good day before taking his leave. You stand there for a while, speechless. You were brought back into reality when your phone began ringing.

Closing the door, you brought the flowers into the kitchen where you placed them on the table. Before you picked up the phone, you caught a glimpse of a card attached to the flowers' stems, it read:

'Happy birthday, (Y/N).

Love, your big brother, Samatoki.'

You beamed happily. So, these were from Samatoki! Of course they were! You were so infatuated with the flowers he had gotten you, you had forgotten to pick up the phone.

"Sorry, nii-chan! I just got your flowers. They're so pretty. Thank you so much!"

"Haha, I'm glad you like them," he says, and you could even hear the smile he has on his face. "Happy birthday, (Y/N). You're 17 now, right? You're growing up so fast, you better calm down."

You laugh at this, and so does he.

"I love you," he continues. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yes, nii-chan. I can't wait to see you today!"

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