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verridaiya · 4 months ago

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—Dream Blooms (Sylus' POV)

"I've been waiting here for you."

I started writing this fic at the same time as part 1, because I wasn't sure if MC's point of view had enough angst compared to a Sylus POV. And now after seeing the reactions to part 1... haha, good luck? I apologize in advance and offer tissues as compensation (maybe it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be?)

Synopsis: Sylus contemplates all that has led up to finding you in this life, until the past comes back to haunt him.

Contains: Heavy spoilers for Beyond Cloudfall and Abyssal Blossom, Sylus x MC/reader, gender neutral MC/reader, angst/hurt (comfort in part 3 tho), could technically be read before or separately from part 1, includes some of my theories & headcannons about the BC myth

Word Count: 2.7k

< Part 1 | Part 3 >

Sylus does not consider himself lucky.

There have been many deals gone sideways, misfortunes lining up neatly one after the other and then falling like dominoes. He’s had to claw, rip, and tear his way through dead ends and out of backed corners. And his failures weren’t from the lack of effort; after a third contingency plan goes wayward, he knows it is just fate mocking him yet again, as it has been through all of his long lives.

But he is not the most wanted space criminal and the infamous leader of Onychinus for nothing. What he lacks in luck he compensates in sheer power, skill, persistence. Why rely on random chance when he can ensure that he always gets what he wants? He’s had lifetimes to perfect his skills, to try again and again and again, until he gets the results he desires. Every success he’s had—and they number far more than failures—has been because of him, and him alone.

And right now, looking down at your sleeping form, he considers it his greatest success that you are here, in his arms.

You had come down with a fever recently, the same one that has been making its way through Linkon as of late. With your work as a hunter and with the public, it was almost inevitable that you would catch it, though you tried your best to hide it from those around you. Nothing escapes his—or rather, Mephisto’s—eyes though. Sylus could tell just how bad it was when he showed up unannounced at your door, duffel bag in hand and steaming soup in the other, and you let him in without protest.

He palms his phone absentmindedly in one hand. Sylus intended to get some work done while you napped, so he can focus solely on you when you wake. But right now, with the press of your body against his, your chest rising and falling gently with each faint snore, your face peaceful and relaxed—Sylus can’t help but be pulled into the siren’s call that was your very existence, demanding his attention even while asleep. To appreciate that he was here, in your presence, in the first place.

He has been searching for you through countless years and innumerable lifetimes. He had spent far, far too long alone, seeking you in the farthest reaches of the cosmos. You, the most important missing piece of his soul, an absence that gnawed at his bones and nipped at the gaping hole in his chest.

It seemed like the curse from your first life still lingered. Fate was still determined to drive you apart, to break the defiant bond you forged together and to fulfill the destiny you were doomed to have—that he was your archenemy, that one will inevitably kill the other. If fate could not pit him against you, it will widen the fissure another way and drive you apart physically.

His supposed destiny coiled around his neck like a noose, a rope pulled tighter and tighter every time his search came up empty. But the absence of you is still a presence nonetheless, and he clung onto it like a lifeline. The yearning, the desperation, the grief—he held onto those unusual emotions close and savors what only you can bring out in him. It was the only thing that kept him alive, kept him from going insane from apathy.

The string pulls tighter still, when he finally finds you, his gaze finally where it belongs—on you—and you gaze back at him as if he were a stranger. No, worse yet, as if he were an enemy, with hatred in your beautiful eyes and a snarl on your lips. As if the events of your first shared life never happened. It had taken so much coaxing and far too many miscalculations to convince you that he means you no harm, all the while working through the heart wrenching despair that you don’t remember.

He feels victorious, that he has earned your trust again despite all the odds stacked against his favor. Here you are, tucked safely against him, fully vulnerable in your sleep and relying on him to tend to you while a fever rages through you. His whirlwind mind can finally slow in your presence, the calm in the eye of the storm.

Sylus leans in to press a small kiss on the top of your head, breathing in the warm heady scent of you, savoring your proximity.

He will defy destiny as many times as he needs to, in every lifetime, to find his way back to your side. Weave his own string to connect himself to you, one dyed red with his blood, tied to his heart, his very being, so that it may never untether.

He is pulled from his musings when his keen ears pick up the change in your breathing, ever aware of your presence. You’re awake.

Not long after, your delightful voice reaches his ears. A drowsy murmur of his name, heavenly on your lips.

“Sy?”

Sylus looks down to your precious form as you blink at him sleepily, swaddled in blankets and nestled within his arms. He finds it adorable, that the first thing you seek out when you wake is him. Affection coats his words as he replies, “Awake, darling? You should go back to sleep, it’s not nearly time for you to get up yet.”

“I had a strange dream again.”

“Another one, sweetheart?”

As you hum and nod your answer, the towel on your temple threatens to slip with the movement. He reaches up to remove the cooling cloth, taking the time to mentally prepare himself.

Sylus suspects these dreams are memories of your previous lives, slowly resurfacing. His instincts were correct in that the power of another Aether Core in your body might help you recover your forgotten past. Not that you knew that these were memories; you still talk about them as if they were nothing but wild fantasies.

Something inside him clenches every time you tell him of a new “bizarre dream”. You’ve lived so many lives without him by your side, where he is unable to find you. Each new memory-turned-dream is a reminder of the many times he could not be with you, of the centuries he’s spent looking for you, aching and alone. Yet he wants to hear you talk about them regardless, because they are a part of you, and he longs to know every facet of you so that he may cherish you fully.

You have yet to dream of a life where he is present.

Until now, when your lovely voice tells him, “You were in it this time, Sylus.”

His gaze snaps to you. If he was pretending to be productive before, he makes no effort to do so now.

“Oh? Do tell, kitten.”

He shuts his phone off mid-text, letting his evol drop it onto the coffee table. This protocore shipment can wait another day; there is nothing more important than hearing your dream right now. And if it was really just a dream, a figment of your imagination- well, time is never wasted when he’s spending it with you.

Your heavy-lidded eyes follow his movements as he shifts from underneath you and to his side. You lift your hand up to his head as he settles, deft fingers reaching to pet his hair and caress his face. Tingles erupt where your fingers trail and he fights to lean into the touch like a cat.

You seem to be lost in thought, eyes fixed to the top of his head, when you say, “You had something on your head. Something sharp and twisting. Rough. It was beautiful, though. You were beautiful.”

Sylus freezes. He knows exactly what you’re speaking of. Of all his previous incarnations, he is most intimately familiar with this one. He can almost feel those spiraling horns of his original form again, a phantom weight that settles heavy on his head, the hardened scales that trail down his face.

Can it be? Did you truly dream of his truest form, of your first life with him?

He wants to know more. Needs to know more.

He knows that he’s failing to keep his voice at its usual bored and impassive cadence when he asks, “And? Can you tell me more about this dream of yours, kitten?”

You blink at him slowly, processing his words. He can almost see the gears of your head turning. You look ready to fall asleep at any moment now. On any other given day, Sylus would let you rest and recover, let the conversation lull until you fall into slumber. But this time, just this once, he allows his own wants take priority. He takes your hand in his, coaxing you to stay awake and focus.

You speak softly, a far-away look in your eyes. “We were standing in a lovely field of flowers. They were breathtaking, Sylus. Such a vivid, dazzling red. There was a black spire in the distance, I think.”

You remember. His breath hitches imperceptibly. The valley of datura flowers. He has only been there once with you: on your last flight together, when he was falling to his death, greatsword in chest.

His heart squeezes as if the blade is still lodged there. The first memory that you’ve regained was your last moments with him. A part of him is elated that you are finally beginning to remember him. He will no longer have to carry the weight of these memories alone. That finally, finally, he will be reunited with you, all of you, past and present. The other, smaller part wishes you to never remember, dreading that you have to relive the pain of his parting a second time.

Your first life together held nothing but tragedy. But still, that nothing gave him you, and all the gifts you showered him with and taught him to cherish. He wants you to remember everything, so that he may finally return the favor in full.

He is distracted from his thoughts when a soft red glow emanates from your hand, threaded with gold. Sylus feels the resonance flow through him, your power thrumming like a pulse and your warmth finding its place in his too empty heart, now filled. His own evol rises to answer yours, ever at your beck and call, a soft surge of energy manifesting in the air as familiar ember-and-smoke tendrils. The curtains sway faintly, caught in the hush of energy.

Looking into your sleepy eyes and fever-heated face, Sylus doesn’t think you even realize what you’re doing. He feels the wash of your emotions like a gentle tide. Contentment, warmth, a feeling of loss, a spark of recognition, of déjà vu. A flickering image of a valley covered in gleaming red flowers appears in his mind’s eye, fuzzy around the edges from your sickness.

He cannot stop the burst of hope that flares in his rapid-fire heart, unbidden.

He severs the connection between you, though. He does not want you to feel the pressure and urgency of his emotions, as he struggles to keep them in check. This is the first time you have dreamt about him. He needs to be there for you, a strong and comforting presence beside you as you piece together the tragedy of this memory. The curtains sway once more, then stills.

When you try to apologize, he dismisses it easily. He has no need for your apologies, ever, but what he does need is to know what else you can recollect.

“What else do you remember?” he quietly implores.

You stare up at him for a second longer, brows furrowed, before acquiescing and closing your eyes. Whatever was crossing your mind—most likely his own emotions you felt during the resonance—seemed to be forgotten for now. The sweet melody of your voice fills the air soon after.

“We were up in the air flying, somehow, before we landed in that blossoming valley. It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. I felt like I was in a whole other world. When I turned around to look at you, I saw you sitting there amongst the flowers. Red, like shining rubies. Red like-”

Red like the jewel of his heart, pierced. Red like the blood upon your greatsword, as he pushed it deeper. He waits with bated breath for the breaking of your heart, ready to piece it back together.

“Red, like rich wine,” you finish softly.

Something tickles him at the back of his mind, an instinct raising its head, leaving him unsettled. Something was wrong. This was not the reaction he was anticipating from you. No, you were too…calm.

What were you remembering?

A coldness trickles into him as you continue on happily, a smile in your voice. “I decorated you with those flowers. We were so carefree, unworried and relaxed. It was just us, no one else, in the valley that was our playground. I think I was teasing you, or maybe you were teasing me. You said something about seeing the other side of things, something taunting. We ended up play-fighting, rolling around and sending petals up in the air.”

No.

Sylus can’t breathe. He clenches his eyes shut, anguish tearing through him.

This…this never happened.

No matter how many times he desperately yearns, how many times he spits at destiny, sinks his claws into fate, battered and bloody, hoping to carve his own desired path, he cannot change the inexorable truth of your first life: that there was never a chance for your love to grow beyond its initial roots.

He was too young and feral to give these things to you when he first met you. He barely had a grasp of what love was, then. And after that fateful day, when he exchanged half his soul for yours, he never had a chance to. You had been taken from him by the Legion, stolen while he was too injured to do anything but watch, broken, from the shadows. There were only stolen moments when your hearts beat in sync and your entwined souls reverberated that he was able to appear before you as a half-apparition, in the Sanctuary that was your cage.

There was never a chance for him to give you this lovely desire of yours. Could this be simply just a dream, a fantasy this current version of you concocted while entangled within intangible memories?

But he remembers how sure you felt of its reality, when you resonated with him. That startling sense of déjà vu coursing through you. Could it have been a dream your previous self had, of what could have been? Something you never found the chance to tell him? Or perhaps he wasn’t there for you to tell him, perhaps it was after he- after he left you, for the last time.

Perhaps dreams were the only source of comfort you had, after he departed.

There is so much he does not know about the twilight years of your first life. Did you go on to survive and thrive, as he told you to? Were you able to fulfill all your desires and live to your lovely, greedy heart’s satisfaction? Or did you die, grief-stricken and alone, surrounded by enemies that he was not there to protect you from? Dreamt of things he could not give you, places he could not take you, because fate tore him from you before he ever had a chance to?

So many answers he desperately yearns to know and the only person who can give them to him cannot recall.

Fate pulls its string tighter around his neck, taunting him. You finally remembered something from your first life together, and he could not be more fucking heartbroken.

“Sylus?”

He opens his eyes at your soft voice, sucking in a sharp breath into his suffocating lungs and exhaling shakily. Worry glimmers in your eyes as you peer up at him, innocent and unaware.

Something in him howls in anguish when you part your lips to say, “It was just a dream, Sylus.”

Air fans softly against his face as you breathe, your chest rising and falling steadily. He focuses on it, clings onto it as if the mechanical motion gives him oxygen, life. You’re here now, he’s here now. There is little he can do but hold you, in this life, and not let go.

#love and deepspace #lads sylus #sylus x reader #sylus x mc #verridaiya's writing -#*pats this fic like a new car* this singular scene can fit so much angst into it #if you made it this far: thanks for reading!#next up: the hopefully comforting last part to this small series #I hope it'll be sweet enough for all this pain

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vxnuslogy · 4 months ago

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╭────── will it still be me? ✦ ⸝⸝

✦ ⭑𓂃 honkai: star rail ┆ sunday .ᐟ ──╯

𐔌 warnings. maybe ooc ( this was written 7 months ago help ) ♟ notes. hey..... its been a while haha! this account has been so dry i had to post a draft from so long ago just to keep it somewhat alive. hopefully i get more time to writing soon TT

━━━ art credits. 隐世樱yyy on weibo ♟ tags. @starcharmed @mikashisus @https-sourlimes @powchakko @somniachant @gl4di0lus ; if you'd like to be tagged please fill out the forms on my pinned or send in an ask off-anon!!

౨ৎ to you who finally saw the sun — sunday heard the saying "you meet people twice". he wasn't one to believe in such superstitions but when he met you at one of, if not, the lowest point in his life, he wished to have the chance to meet you again when he was a better man.

sunday met you briefly at the lowest point of his life. one look at your eyes, he saw a future, a life with you in his arms and smiling up at him as you talked about your day. from the moment your eyes locked on that busy street in golden hour, sunday knew you were his soulmate—the love of his life.

but you had had the misfortune of meeting him when all his broken bones, worn out wings, and a husk of a soul were on full display–sunday had been nothing short of unsightly. he couldn’t bear to look at you—he couldn’t dare to love you when he had been like that. you didn’t deserve to be chained to such a hollow and broken man, drifting from one place to another in search of a piece of his puzzle that he wasn’t sure existed.

so he bolted–far, far, away so you wouldn’t be able to catch up to him even if you had the aeons on your side. he wandered from one planet to another with the help of a bunch of bandits whose names he used to curse. how funny now, that as he’s saying goodbye to them, sunday couldn’t help but feel melancholic—already missing the chaotic ambience they always brought wherever they went.

“everything must come to an end, sunny,” the woman had said, a soft smile on her lips as he pushed him forward. “your story with us has ended. time for you to start a new one.”

sunday had wanted to say goodbye, but no amount of words could ever convey the sheer extent of his emotions. emotions have always scared him; as a halovian, he felt them twice as severely, if not more, than the ordinary mortal. he had gotten used to shutting it all off to keep this pristine image his father created. to think that the walls he had created would shatter, all because of the infamous destiny’s slave.

maybe it’s the way he sees your smile on every hunter’s face when he gains a new achievement, or the way firefly carefully approaches him like you did when you first met. sunday wonders if he hadn’t run away, would he be greeted with your kind words everyday when he wakes up? something stirs his chest as he sees the express skid to a slow stop just a few feet away from him and kafka. was it sadness, or mayhaps regret? sunday has had many regrets in his life, and you were by far the biggest one. would he have the chance to correct his mistakes like he’s always prayed for?

“will we find each other again in the future?” he asks with a ghost of a smile on his lips, carrying a sense of gratitude but also sadness..

the woman chuckled and shook her head. “sometimes, people part ways just to find each other again, just like you and your beloved.”

his eyes widened by just a small fracture when kafka placed a small card in his hands. heart stopping then beating once again when he sees your name printed on the small piece of paper. the smile on his face grew bigger when he realized the train’s next stop would be where your little shop was located. sunday was not one to believe in fate, but if it meant being brought back to you, then he’d go down on his knees in your chapel and pray for just one more glimpse of your smile.

“will it still be me?” sunday asked, one more time. “do i deserve another chance?”

“well, why not find out now?”

sunday looked back to see a woman with red hair stand by his side. her voice carried a soft gentleness and wisdom like that of a mother. he wondered if taking care of the three troublemakers of the express had played any part in that.

“be sure to say your final goodbyes, after all,” the red haired woman nodded at kafka with a small smile. “the stellaron hunters were your family before you came to us.”

he only nodded, carefully pocketing your business card in his pocket before smiling at kafka one last time—peeking over her shoulders to catch one last glimpse of the other hunters waving him goodbye with small smiles on their lips.

“thank you,” he said. “for keeping me company, but i must go now.”

“it was a pleasure, sunny. be sure to take the chance you’ve been given.”

with one final wave, sunday boarded the express with you in his mind. when he boarded the train, a wave of uncertainty washed over him. would you even accept him? give him another chance? he pondered over all the what ifs and how to approach you until the express landed and he was swept up in another adventure–this time it's an adventure he asked for. at every twist and turn, in every shop that passed by and every person he bumped into, sunday searched high and low for the sight of you.

so when he does find you, sunday meets the love of his life for the second time. you, who basked under the glorious afternoon sun that looked like a halo, still smiled at him when you caught his stare. you don’t approach him first like you did last time, in fact, you don’t even spare another second before you went back to whatever you were doing first.

in that one moment, all sunday’s fears come crashing down like an avalanche. he feels you slip through his fingers for a second time and it breaks his heart. but unlike last time, sunday takes a step forward, refusing to repeat the same mistake twice.

“good afternoon,” he greets you with a polite smile, one hand behind his back as you smile up at him.

“good afternoon to you too!” you replied with a joyful lilt in your voice. it made sunday smile, you were still the same despite all the time that had passed. he felt his shoulders relax, he was no longer rigid and pristine, and instead, sunday was free–from his duties, expectations, and fear of loving you.

“i kept you in my prayers,” he thought with a bashful smile. “i found myself begging the heavens for another chance to love you properly.”

maybe the heavens did answer him when you decide to invite him over to your shop to chat and drink some tea. sunday wasn’t perfect–he was still broken, admittedly still afraid of the uncertainties of what you might bring, but he didn’t want to run away anymore. as you open up your shop and sit him down on one of the tables sunday feels at home and at peace—he thinks this is where he really belongs, a place he can always come home to.

you don’t remember him, and that’s fine. he thinks it's for the better that you don’t remember that unsightly version of him. you deserve only the best parts of him–he’ll show you all the ugly sides to him when he proves fate itself that the two of you meeting again will always be how your story ends.

sunday is reminded of the unattainable dream he once had of you; inside your home surrounded by the things you love and the things he wants to love too, relishing the afternoon sun as you both watch the troublemakers of the express run around, sharing stories of bygone pasts, your sweet present, and the imperfect future. he looks at you with all the hope he could muster, this was the new beginning he’s always hoped for.

yes, this is what sunday meant when he wanted to dream. you sitting across from him, sipping your tea and smiling at him like he had done no wrong. because in your presence, sunday wasn't the previous head of the oak family nor a previous stellaron hunter, he was the love of your life.

#—stellaronhvnters.#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail headcanons #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail sunday #hsr x reader #hsr imagines #hsr headcanons #hsr x you #hsr sunday #sunday x you #sunday imagines #sunday x reader #sunday headcanons #sunday fluff #( 🂡 ) – royal flush of stories .ᐟ

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tiramisumin · 6 months ago

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a nonsense christmas

⋆⁺₊❅. pairing: kim minjae x f!reader

⋆⁺₊❅. word count: 4.25k

⋆⁺₊❅. content: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD!!!, fluff, some humor, swearing, strangers to classmates/friends to lovers, more mutual pining, mentions of alcohol, junmin cameo, if u squint this fic and the sumin one are connected lolz, if u couldn’t tell i like writing about kissing, vaginal fingering, face riding haha, minjae has an oral fixation, protected sex (cowgirl position yeehaw), she fell first he fell harder type beat

synopsis: you could see yourself falling for kim minjae and sharing a future with him. and maybe this time next year, you’ll be standing right beside him at this same party.

୨ৎ she’s a little late.. but better late than never amirite!!! thank u @tmrwsuns for being my personal cheerleader the entire writing process i think i might’ve kms’d without u bff 🤍 pls reblog if u liked this!

The annual Kim Minjae Christmas Eve party is something you dread every year.

Since your first attendance your freshman year of college, something eventful has always happened at that damn party. There was the time your best friend had to go to the ER because she drunkenly tripped, fell, and broke her nose. There was also the time they left, without you, and you had to Uber back to your apartment all alone at one in the morning. Your friends always dragged you to it, though, for tradition’s sake. Unlike the other parties they tried to force you to go to throughout the semester, you didn’t have the excuse of studying for this one.

Besides, you think Kim Minjae himself might tear the world apart looking for you.

You knew of him vaguely every year before this one, obviously. But you’d never actually met him at one of his infamous parties, or in person at all for that matter. However, this semester you wound up in the same production course. And, well, let’s just say you started to understand the hype…

Like when you sat next to each other during lecture a couple weeks into the semester, Minjae peeking over at the doodles you were doing over your notes.

“Those are cute. Are they supposed to be butterflies?”

You jumped in your seat, caught off guard by the low voice so close to your ear. Minjae grinned at you, sitting back upright. You nodded in response as to not disrupt your classmates who were actually paying attention to the professor.

“I’m Minjae, by the way.”

Or when he remembered a comment you made in passing about missing a lecture for a concert you were going to with your friends.

“Wait, why was my absence last week excused?” You muttered to yourself in confusion, eyes scanning the class roster to see the words ‘Excused Absence’ beside your name under last week’s attendance slot.

“I didn’t want you getting points taken off your grade just ‘cause you wanted to have fun,” Minjae answered with a smile that rivaled the stars. “I asked my mom if she could email a doctor’s note to the professor to get it excused for you.”

There were a lot of things that needed to be unpacked. One; he did all that for you? Two; his mom was a doctor? Three; were you dreaming right now??

“You didn’t have to do that…” You said bashfully, initialing under today’s slot. Minjae took the sheet from you when you were done so he could do the same.

“I wanted to.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

The rest is kind of history. All it took was a couple smiles and you were cooked. In fact, cooked was an understatement. You would be competing against more than half of the girls at your school for his attention. While you had the advantage of being somewhat friends with him, that didn’t exactly mean he felt the same as you did.

“You worry too much.”

Your best friend comes up behind you at your mirror, shaking your shoulders. You were currently getting ready for the party, pulling out all the stops. Every year, there’s been a different dress up theme. This year it’s famous holiday characters. Sexy Mrs. Claus anyone?

”There’s just a lot at stake here. My ego, my dignity, everything I’ve ever stood for.” You don’t pause as you say this, ensuring your makeup was absolutely perfect. All of which were true. Your pride would be smothered to bits if he rejects you. Any sense of self respect would fly straight out of the window. And you’d be a failure of a person for ignoring your own morals for him.

“I know, but you’re stressing yourself out for no reason. I think it’s very obvious that he likes you, too, Y/N.” She tries to rationalize with you. You block her out, because no it is not. You can’t read him or what he’s feeling.

And maybe she was kind of right…

When you spot him, he’s dressed as a sexy Santa Claus. The rest of his friends are dressed as his reindeer, one of them even donning a bright red nose. The concept is actually really cute. Yourself as Mrs. Claus and your friend as Cindy Lou Who does not match at all. Not even just in terms of cohesivity. Usually the roles would be switched. You didn’t like to stand out much.

“You look hot, go talk to him!” She whisper-yells in your ear, nudging you forward.

Your bottom lip catches between your teeth, fingers laced together behind your back as you nervously make your way across the room. He had just finished taking a shot with his friends when you approached, that sparkle in his pretty boba eyes twinkling even brighter upon seeing you. You have to admit he looks even better up close, the unbuttoned top of the Santa suit revealing a white cutoff t-shirt, doing very little to conceal his lean torso.

You don’t miss the way he checks you out, dragging his gaze up and down your body. It has the room feeling a little warmer than it was a couple minutes ago. Your fingers stay behind your back, nerves evident by the time you reach him. “Hi.”

Minjae smiles cutely at your shyness, almost cooing at how adorable you are in spite of being dressed so scantily. “Hello, Mrs. Claus.”

“I should’ve known you’d pick the main character for your own party,” you say in reference to his outfit. “I didn’t really think about that when I was picking what I wanted to dress as.”

“Some might call that fate,” he grins something cheeky as he tucks some hair behind your ear. “Honestly, I think I’d be a little bummed out if you hadn’t unintentionally matched with me.”

You’re sure you look like a mess, every flirting comment driving you insane. Maybe he talks like this with all the girls he comes across. You wouldn’t be surprised, given the fact that everyone and their mom wants him. You’re not sure if he does it just to entertain people (or himself) and if he does, well, then you’re stupid. That’s why whatever happens tonight between you is such a big deal. Getting heartbroken by someone known for breaking hearts is more embarrassing than anything else.

You open your mouth to say something, but someone beats you to it, a pretty girl dressed like a sexy elf. “Minjae! There you are! I was beginning to think you stood me up at your own party.”

Minjae looks between her and you, giving you a small frown that you might not have noticed if you weren’t so perceptive. The girl latches onto his arm like a leech, eyeing you with something thick and full of disgust. (Or jealousy, you aren’t too sure, actually.)

“I know what this looks like, Y/N, but I—”

“Have fun at your party, Jae. I’ll see you later.” You interrupt him with a tight-lipped smile, bowing before heading back over to your friend. You feel so dumb. This is what you’d been trying to avoid this entire time. Now you have to do the walk of shame back to your friends.

Not only do you feel like one, but you probably look like a loser, too. Your best friend shakes her head at you when you come into view. You’re confused by her actions, because wouldn’t you think she would feel awful for you? As your personal confidant, she should be hugging you and supplying you with endless alcohol so you could get over this.

She grabs you by the shoulders the second you’re within arms’ reach, staring directly into your eyes. “We are not doing this right now.”

“Doing what?”

“You’re not gonna stand around here at this party and act all mopey just because some random girl who thinks she has a shot with Minjae wedges her way in. You look too good for that. And besides, if you look over there, you’ll see that he doesn’t even care for her. He was excited to see you. Not her. Now, what you are gonna do is pick one of his friends to make him jealous and finally get him away from her.” She says, holding you firmly.

“I don’t even know any of his friends like that, though.” You glance back to where they’re all gathered around the beer pong table.

“I wouldn’t recommend Sumin, ‘cause he and his best friend are so in love with each other it’s kinda sickening. I don’t think they realize it though, so I don’t wanna mess with that. I know the rest of them are single,” she squints her eyes as she observes the nine boys. “Maybe Junmin. He’s really nice and he’s super close with Minjae, so he’s perfect for the job.”

“Why do you know so much about their friend group?” You ask curiously. She sounded so well-versed in the lore behind Kim Minjae and his friends. It was a little concerning, honestly. How much free time did she have to learn all of this information?

“Instagram and I are like this,” she crosses her index and middle fingers. “But enough about that. Are you down with the plan?”

You sigh. Were you really about to go through all this trouble for a guy? You guess so, since you nod before you even register that you’re doing it.

She manages to flag down Junmin just as he passes by. His antlers are slightly lopsided, telling you that he’s probably already tipsy. His cheeks are flushed, another indication of his intoxication. This guy had to be a lightweight or something. He smiles warmly at you both.

“What’s up, guys?” He asks, energy equivalent to that of a puppy being offered a treat.

“We have a proposition for you, Mr. Park.” Your best friend answers, to which Junmin just smiles and nods.

“How can I be of service?”

“Okay, first things first; how does Minjae feel about Y/N?” She pats your shoulder, gesturing to you as if you weren’t an active member in the conversation. He looks at the two of you as if you’d both grown a second head.

“Do you really have to ask that? It’s kinda obvious that he’s obsessed with her.” Junmin snorts. “I’ve never seen him actually interested in someone the way he is with you. He talks about you every opportunity that he gets. You know that meme that’s like, ‘how can I make this about ‘blank’’? That’s Minjae with you.”

You can’t help the way the corners of your lips curl up. Okay, so maybe you did overreact when that girl came between you earlier. You didn’t let Minjae say anything and explain the situation either. She quickly fills him in on the plan she curated. Junmin is a little apprehensive at first, afraid of making his friend mad when he knows how he feels about you. But after some convincing, he agrees.

“What am I even supposed to do?” His hands stay inside of the pockets of the reindeer onesie he was wearing, scared of touching you, too.

”You don’t have to do much. Just stand by her and laugh at the things she says. If he sees you getting cozy, he’ll have no choice but to drop everything he’s doing and put a stop to it. At least, if he likes her as much as you say he does, that’ll be the case.” She shrugs, turning around to join in on the dance circle your other friends had started without another word.

Junmin sighs, and it’s clear that any and all signs of his inebriation have disappeared. This entire ordeal sobered him up pretty fast. You make the mistake of looking over at Minjae again, accidentally making eye contact. He narrows his eyes at you and Junmin, though nothing has happened yet and he’s merely standing beside you. You instinctively nudge his arm subtly.

The boy shakes his head and rolls his eyes playfully. “Of course he’s already jealous. That’s just like him.”

“You seem really close. How long have you been friends?” You ask to continue the small talk. This way, it won’t be completely awkward. He’s doing you a favor by playing along with your charade, you didn’t have to make it worse by being weird about it.

“I’ve known him since we were freshmen in high school,” he shifts his weight onto one foot. “Which is a little bit longer than everyone else, but not too long either.”

“Junmin, that’s eight years. That is a long time.” You laugh at him, pointing out the fact that his attempt at being nonchalant slightly failed. He scratches the back of his neck with a chuckle.

“I mean, yeah, I guess you’re right.”

You reach out and hold onto his arm carefully. “Thank you, by the way, for doing this for me. You didn’t have to. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he waves his hand in front of his face. “It was no problem. In a way I’m doing this for Minjae, too. He has the tendency to put his own happiness aside if he doesn’t think he deserves it.”

Your mouth resembles an upside down crescent moon as he tells you this. “What do you mean?”

“He thinks that you’re too good for him. You know how everyone calls him a heartbreaker and how everyone says he can’t commit. That’s why he hasn’t made a move. He doesn’t want to disappoint you and he thinks you deserve better than someone with that kind of reputation.” Junmin mirrors your expression for a moment, and you can see how much he cares for his friend. It’s heartwarming actually.

Before you can respond, he’s covering the back of your hand with his own and glancing behind you to indicate that Minjae was coming. The raven haired male stands between you, scanning the scene for anything that would stand out to him. You’re sure there’s hearts in your eyes as you stare at him, even with the fake beard on his face.

“I didn’t know you knew each other,” Minjae comments after a bit of silence, crossing his arms over his chest.

“We don’t,” your hand falls to your side. “Not well, at least. But we’re friends now, right Junmin?”

“Yeah, we are,” he turns to his friend with a smile. “I’ll catch you later, Y/N, it was nice meeting you.”

As soon as Junmin is out of ear shot, Minjae is turning back to you with a raised eyebrow. You peer at him innocently, but you know he’s caught you red handed. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Did what?” You act coy, messing with the fluffy hem of your skirt. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek and he glances away from you with a small laugh.

“You’re really something special, you know that, Y/N?” His voice is only loud enough that the two of you can hear what he says, but nobody else.

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

Minjae doesn’t hesitate to lean into you, pressing his lips to yours softly. It’s perfect, the most perfect kiss in the whole world despite the fact that he’s wearing a fake beard. It tickles your face as he tilts his head. Your lips tingle everywhere that comes into contact with his, sparks running through your veins like electrical currents. Now that you’re certain that you’re on the same page, you want so much more than just this. You need him, all of him.

But then you realize where you are. Your cheeks warm up impossibly hot, your nose cowering into the space where his shoulder meets his collarbone. Minjae can’t help but laugh at how cute you are. Truly, he hit the jackpot with you. You checked just about every box on his list, the missing puzzle piece he had been looking for all along.

Had he written a Christmas list this year, like he’d done so many times as a kid, you’d be right at the top.

“Should we go upstairs?” He whispers into your ear. You nod frantically, desperate to be alone with him for the first time, well, ever. He takes your hand into his and guides you through the house and up the stairs. The hallway is long and it feels like forever has passed by the time you make it into his room.

There’s posters of different bands on the walls, a keyboard and a guitar in one corner, and a desk with a laptop and a smaller mixing board in the other. The room is neat, but not too neat, and somehow exactly what you’d imagine Kim Minjae’s room to look like. You take it in all at once, allowing him to pull you onto his lap on his bed, a knee on either side of his thighs. He’s since ditched the beard.

“I didn’t think you’d ever go for a guy like me.” He confesses, hands on your hips. His thumbs rub circles into your exposed midriff. You cup his face with a pout on your lips.

“Why do you say that?”

“I was told I’m not really your type,” he frowns, but then his mouth is attaching to your lower stomach. “That you usually don’t go for guys who break girls’ hearts.”

Your eyes flutter shut as his fingers creep beneath your skirt, tugging at the thin material of your lacy panties. “S-Sometimes, I make e-exceptions.”

You feel rather than see the curve of his smile, gasping when he drags your underwear down your legs. Your head is spinning and you’re overwhelmed by everything going on in the best way possible. Minjae’s hand disappears under your skirt again, his fingers teasing where you need him most. A whine escapes you when his thumb massages your clit, slowly and agonizingly. Your grip moves from his face to his shoulders, nails digging into the material of his Santa suit.

His index and middle fingers don’t waste time slipping inside of you, forcing a louder moan out of you. The position the two of you are in makes it easier for him to curl them, brushing along that sensitive spot deep in your pussy. He keeps at it, alternating between calculated pumps into your cunt and showing attention to your already sensitive clit.

“You’re so warm around my fingers, angel,” he mumbles into your skin, mouth still connected to your abdomen. “I bet you taste so sweet, too.”

You whine once more, riding his fingers like your life depended on it. It’s not enough, however. It’s not enough to satiate the hunger and the desire burning behind your chest. You needed to become one being with him. He pauses, looking up at you with eyes resembling pools of tar, unbridled affection swimming in them.

“What is it?” You ask breathlessly, lips subconsciously pouting at him.

“Can you…” He trails off, looking for the words. “Can you ride my face?”

You gawk at him, not at all expecting that to come out of his mouth. It’s not that you were this pure virgin who’s never done anything before, but Minjae was more experienced than you in multiple departments. And that happened to be one of them. You’ve never sat on anyone’s face before, and you’re sure it shows because he coos at you.

“I’ve never… You know…” Your bashfulness has him growing harder beneath you and he can’t stop the groan he lets out after.

“That’s okay, I’ll be your first,” he reassures you, rubbing up and down your sides comfortingly. “And hopefully your last.”

You smile widely, leaning down to kiss him. There’s more than lust translated into the way you slot your lips with his. You could see yourself falling in love with Kim Minjae and sharing a future with him. A future where you go out on dinner dates and he picks you up at your apartment, staring at you in awe when you get all dolled up for him. One where you take late night drives just because you want to, his arm outstretched across the center console to hold your hand. And maybe this time next year, you’ll be standing right beside him at this same party. Maybe you’ll wake up on Christmas morning to a kiss on the forehead and a tree filled with gifts for each other.

Minjae lays with his head on the pillows after he shrugs off the jacket of his Santa suit while you shimmy out of your skirt, pulling you up so you’re straddling his face. His arms hook around your thighs just as you unzip your top and discard it somewhere behind you.

“Just relax, angel,” he leaves a kiss on your inner thigh. “Hold onto the headboard if you need to.”

You do as he says, shutting your eyes when you feel his breath on your pussy. First, he kisses your clit experimentally. The moan that comes out of you encourages him to continue, his tongue kitten licking the expanse of it. It doesn’t take long for him to find a rhythm, the blunt edges of his nails pressing into your thighs.

Your forehead falls to the headboard, sounds you’ve never made before bursting from your chest. You try to watch him between your legs, but the pleasure is so overwhelming you can’t keep your eyes open. His nose bumps your clit repeatedly, and somehow that’s what has you nearing your end.

Minjae releases one of your thighs, his thumb applying pressure to the sensitive bundle of nerves as he fucks you open on his tongue. Loud is an understatement to describe your volume. You’re thankful that there’s an entire party going on downstairs, because despite being so shy earlier, there’s nothing shy about you right now. And he’s eating it up.

“I’m gonna—!”

“Wait,” he stops, pushing down his pants and his underwear. “I want you to cum on my cock.”

“Minjae… I don’t think I can last any longer.” You whine, your cunt contracting around nothing. He kisses it one more time before sitting up and helping you back into his lap. He reaches into the drawer of his bedside table, grabbing a condom and quickly unwrapping it so he could slip it on. The time between riding his face and hovering over his dick is a blur, your whole self delirious from how good everything feels.

“There, there, angel,” he murmurs into your collarbone as you sink onto his cock, both of you moaning at the contact. “Fuck, you feel like heaven.”

He knows you’re tired, so he does all the work for you. His grip stays on your hips, fucking up into you with desperation. He was already stiff and throbbing with need just from eating you out. You’re both searching for sweet release, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders, then his arms, then tangling in his hair.

His mouth latches onto one of your breasts, and you’re starting to think he has an oral fixation, the orifice always connected to some part of your body or another. Your fingers stay in his hair, attempting to bounce on his dick and meet him halfway. You’re exhausted, though, and it barely does anything to help Minjae, who’s doing everything.

You were so close when he decided to change positions, so it didn’t take a lot to get you back to that point. Your pussy tightens around him, and he knows that your orgasm is near. He swipes his ring and middle fingers on your clit, the added stimulation finally bringing you to the edge of bliss. It feels like you’re on cloud nine, the fatigue evaporating from your bones.

Minjae is right there with you, gritting his teeth so he can take care of you first. “Where— shit— where do you want me, angel?”

“Inside,” your voice is hoarse and seeping with sleepiness. “Cum inside me, Jae.”

He doesn’t have to be asked twice, finishing into the condom with a low groan. You rock in his lap to ride out both of your highs, until eventually he slides out of you and you collapse into his chest. Minjae laughs, pulling back the covers on his bed so you could be warm and comfortable.

“Y/N?” He whispers softly, in case you might’ve already fallen asleep. You hum in response, stirring so you could look up at him. He thinks he could fall in love with you. “I just want you to know that I mean it when I say things are different with you. I wanna see where this road takes us.”

“I believe you,” you smile, something so pretty like the star on top of his Christmas tree and so cozy like a mug of hot cocoa. “And I want that, too. My feelings for you are kinda scary, Kim Minjae.”

“I could say the same about mine for you.” His expression is the spitting image of one of your dreams. You were in this exact scenario, except instead of confessing to each other for the first time, you had been together for years and this was just a typical morning ritual for you.

“Just promise me one thing?” You trace random things into his abdomen, blinking up at him.

“Anything.” He nods, recognizing the seriousness in your gaze.

“Don’t break my heart.” The way you ask him this, looking at him like he personally painted sunsets, he would burn bridges for you.

“I wasn’t ever planning on it.”

#div cr mikeykuns #xikers #xikers x reader #xikers smut #xikers minjae #kim minjae #kim minjae x reader #kim minjae smut #minjae x reader #minjae smut #𐙚 tiramisumin

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colourstreakgryffin · 8 months ago

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Blitzo (I love calling him Blitzo so much that I think he would kill me)) × Sister!reader.

Haha! He will, he’ll come out of your screen to shoot you so be careful— but anyway, of course. Just a scenario where Barbie’s willing to forgive Blitz and try again. Eh, kinda but also not really. To be honest, I already made an older brother OC for the Buckzo twins so love sibling stuff!

Blitzø- Restart and Reload

“C’mon! C’mon! Loonie’ll finally get to meet you!”

Blitzø eagerly speaks, so excited and jittery and his hand clung to yours as he leads you through the kinda dump-y dark apartment building to find a specific room where his own living quarters and his beloved Loona stations in. His fingers laced with yours, his younger twin sister…

It’s been a while since he ever saw you but now that you’ve been reunited. He plans to keep you in his life

You merely smile at your older brother, he hasn’t changed much since he was a teenager. You’ve noticed that he still has a rather dorky sweet demeanour behind those brutal steely walls he’s put up to protect himself but for you and Loona, he drops them because he loves you two too much to be a prick

Blitzø truly trusts you two… please don’t break his heart— he’s fragile and relying on you, he wants your love as he loves you

His flexible long tail is already clung around your waist like a pair of arms wrapping you up but it’s his subconscious fear of you disappearing, you didn’t mind it even when you were shocked by the sudden contact. He has finally gotten you back after the infamous fire incident had separated you from him. He missed you so much

“Loonie?”

You politely and curiously ask as you’ve never heard of such a person… is she his girlfriend? You always kinda thought your brother was gay, but you’re wrong. He’s a flexible man, he’ll date anybody. It just shows how little you really know your own sibling. Blitzø blames the father you two share for this, that you don’t know what kinda person he is. Not what he was like as a teenager; a young man eager to become a Ringleader of his own Circus and infatuated with Fizzarolli

He isn’t that type of guy anymore and he is excited to show you his life, give you a new one where you’re no longer alone. Nor is Blitzø. His pretty ruby red eyes, which match yours perfectly, face you with an almost flabbergasted expression, in his mind. Everybody knows his beloved Loonie so you expressing your indifference has him more eager for you to meet his precious daughter

“Loonie’s my baby girl! I adopted her when she was seventeen!”

That surprised you as well since Blitzø is the last person you ever suspected to have a child and therefore become a parent but nevertheless, you think it’s a good thing since you always said he’d make a good dad when you two would play family as children all those years ago. But you don’t press on it long, smiling calm and happily as he stops before a specific apartment door and fiddles in his pockets to pick out his keys

“Oh…”

To Blitzø, your smile is so beautiful, even amongst any confusion or realisation you have. As beautiful as Loona’s smile. He wants to see more of it, especially since you’re his baby sister, his hand and fingers laced up with yours without a single inch of separation inbetween you two. His thick long clawed fingers flipping through the silver round keychain hooking all his keys on one item as he manages to find the right silvery metallic key to press it into the lock and open it up with a soft tap to the now opened door

Blitzø basically drags you across the floor to enter his dangy but suitable home, so excited and delighted to begin the bonding process with you that he doesn’t even give you the moment to process the apartment or speak up. You stumble up to your feet a bit hastily as your own long tail swish smoothly before flexibly shutting the door for your silly kooky little brother

Looking over at the many crossed out almost Polaroid-like pictures pinned on the wall consisting of two unknown smaller imps and a unknown tall grey wolf hellhound but himself is scribbled out with dark marker… it’s concerning but you don’t get a chance, once more, to ask him about it. Despite the fact you want to, because

Blitzø almost throws you onto the couch like he was trying to break a table with you, back down as he stuffs his keys into his business suit-coat pockets to be free-handed before jumping over the back of the old crappy couch to land basically right next to your head expertly. Smirking with his usual shit-eating grin as a cheeky little idea clicks into his head at your current predicament

He legit lays his hand over your face playfully like he’s trying to smother you, getting a response from you being to bite his blood red skin with your sharp clean fangs, yet not to prick out any thick black blood. Your equally big and thick hands reaching up to try pry it off in sync to your nipping

“Agh! Hey, ya lil’ shit!”

Blitzø coos out in a playful sense of outrage and disgust whilst you manage to rise up to your knees when rolling over upon him parting. It’s only been like… a hour since you ran into him and he glued himself to your hip until you submitted to his request and now here you are. You don’t mind, he still has your sense of humour and that’s relieving. That your big bro isn’t just a entirely new person now that he’s a grown ass man

You go right to try fling him over the couch’s armrest by his leg but he uses his tail to flexibly grab onto your wrist and try pin you down back. Just playful wrestling, you’ve gotten into it when you got his hints. You are his twin, of course. You’re like him, your tail swishing as you try to lunge onto him and it works when he miscalculates his movements

The sibling play wrestling you and him that are bound in by both of your pushes, ends almost instantly at the sound of the only bedroom in this apartment’s door swinging open creakily as that same tall grey and white female Hellhound you saw in that wall full of pictures, angrily huffing and rubbing her messily gray long hair with a hairbrush clutched in her paw, steps out without a word but a judgemental glare

Blitzø blinks in surprise for a moment or two when he looks up at the fluffy mess of a Hellhound but he melts into pure joy and euphoria at seeing his beloved baby girl has come out in a blink, he didn’t even need to try convince her to leave the privacy of her comfortable gothic room to meet you! This day couldn’t get any better, everything is going the way he wanted!

He hugs you passionately with almost all limbs to acrobatically sit up after unravelling himself form you with you clutched in his arms as he marches happily to his scowling Hellhound with his smile as wide as the arch of his mighty horns

Already introducing you to this Hellhound without even making a modicum of an effort to explain what the Heaven’s fuck is going on to his confused and annoyed daughter. Blitzø is far too excited and wants you and his beloved Loonie to bond, be best friends! He is so damn relieved that Loona hasn’t shut the door in his face yet and is genuinely letting him speak, even if she looks displeased

“Had a good nap, Loonie? Hope you did! Hey! Wanna say ‘hi’ to your aunt! This is your auntie, do you like her?”

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leo-interactive-fiction · 10 months ago

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Happy (belated) fifth anniversary for Triaina Academy, Leo! I hope that you got to at least do a small celebration for five years of work sometime in June. In the spirit of Triaina being five, I wanted to ask you about the old demo, actually; is there a scene you left / are going to leave on the cutting room floor that you miss? Are there other plot points from it that you really liked? I'm curious about how you feel about it after so long. Regardless, I hope this finds you well!

Hey there! Damn, it really doesn't feel like it's been five years since I've began undertaking this project haha. The very first showing of Triaina Academy was in june, and was fairly sizable for its first posting, hovering around 70k-ish words leading up to the middle of the 2nd chapter and having introductions for everyone except S and F. During then, I had far more free time available to me, and worked on that version of the demo until it grew to around 250-300k words spanning nearly 5 chapters.

But I realized as I had progressed through writing that the quality of my early chapter writing wasn't consistent with the current standards I wanted to have now, and so much of that wordcount was scrapped, with only the skeletonized outline remaining of the old work. I returned to square one and rewrote the story in its entirety from the beginning, leading to the current state now, with the revised version hitting close to 220k words. In the back of my head I consider that, had I just continued writing without a revision, Triaina Academy would already be a finished product.

In many ways I regret that despite it being five years, it feels like there is nothing much for me to show for it. Even more so now that my work pushes me between mental stress and physical exhaustion, often giving me little time or motivation to pull up the writing on my computer. But I love what I've created. I love the joys it brings me as a creative, as well as hearing the joy it brings you all to read. So even if it seems like I fall away, I am still pressing on to continue, even if it's a tiny bit at a time, until it becomes something both I and readers can find joy in.

Now, speaking of the old demo, there's many scenes that have become nonexistent. I liked quite a few of them, and there are probably many overarching ideas that will return in different forms within the new context of the current demo. But there are also many that won't.

A few mentions of old scenes that probably won't be making a return, either because they've been replaced or they are no longer relevant:

During the very first date with raven, although the makeshift "home" returned, there was an additional scene where the MC discovers mutilated bodies in a closet space.

Before the festival scene seen in the demo now, the working equivalent of it in the old demo was an underground party held by students of the academy in an abandoned airport. The idea of this was cut out because within the story, I decided the world wasn't in a current state for airspace travel save for very specific exceptions. But during this scene, the party is interrupted by a body being discovered hanging from the overhead walkways of a hangar, paired with a bloody message.

There was a scene where you could order and allow V to shoot and kill a student. Originally I had thought to make this into a fail state where the MC and V were thrown in jail for a game over, but upon the revision this was taken out entirely, as I decided against abrupt, early endings.

Infamously, E was originally written as a step-sibling character in the old demo. I had thought on testing and developing the dynamic, since I didn't see very many games do it, and my game was pretty heavily inspired by various anime and manga related tropes and character styles. But eventually, I decided to shift them into a childhood friend/next door neighbor romance without adjusting their personality because I put a lot of effort into developing the entirety of their story arch, and I wanted them to appeal to a more general audience. Funnily enough, they are still labeled as their old role within the code, just because it has become too much work to change all of the variables haha

F's personal assistant, Fiore, didn't actually exist within the old demo. At least not in the same capacity. She was added because I realized F's personality didn't work well as an independent romantic driver, and they needed an additional external factor to push F into more romantic situations. Fiore RO DLC is an additional purchase of $9999.

In the old demo, MC's, and to a lesser extent everyone else's parents, played far less of an apparent role. I wanted to develop a story showing the previous generation compared to the current one, as in some ways there is a "passing of the torch" theme throughout the plot.

S and F were introduced far later in the old demo, to the point every other RO was given a full extra date scene before they joined the picture. One goal of my revision was being able to give these two an earlier introduction so they could all have their own date scene. In the old demo they were introduced in a scene where P and the MC had to switch rooms, allowing the MC to meet the last two members of Dorm Exul, as well as I think letting them read P's diary.

You used to be able to choose both M and P's gender independently, but with them becoming more structured as identical twins, M will always be the same gender you pick for P.

R used to be far more of a directly flirtatious character like M, but has since naturally shifted to the laid-back, bantering character they are now as I've continued writing them.

Similarly, V was written in a far more robotic tone with only short one-to-three-word responses, and although they are still fairly terse and unemotional, they've developed over time to have far more spoken dialogue and hints of emotional cracks.

There used to be a fail scene in M's romance if you refused to hit them the first time. Much like the other fail state, this was taken out and the decision between leaning into their masochistic tendencies or not became part of their path selection.

Many of the side characters within the story were not introduced, and so neither were their stories. Lewis and S's hostile relationship was not developed, Rex and Acer only had passing remarks, Treyla, Juno, Uno, and others who were nonexistent to the plot now hold some relevance to specific MC specializations, and instructors other than Rosaline and Hoft were given names and a larger part as progressors of MC specializations.

As far as the most favorite scene that I'll miss leaving on the cutting room for, hmm. It is most likely the school tournament arc that I had planned in the old demo. It was in the works and quite far in development at the time that I realized my writing had taken far steps away from the book's early development, both in quality and creative direction. The tournament was supposed to be a method to more actively showcase the combat capabilities of each character's powers, with several rounds and fight scenes already written. But within this new revised plot, I plan for the S.T.E.M. abilities to develop far slower and gradually with trackable leaps in power, not yet becoming combat capable at the time this tournament arc would've occurred. Still, the scene and idea I had in my head, and what I had already written, was quite fun! Although I probably won't be able to figure out a way for this exact scenario to happen now, eventually I would love to bring back the idea of a tournament, or arena type of setting, at some point in the story haha.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings. I didn't think the response would get this long haha. Triaina Academy has recieved so much more positive reception and love than I could have ever imagined when I first began working on it. In all honesty, I had figured that maybe I would be writing for a handful or so to see and think it was neat, and I'd be plucking away at it from time to time with no real thought to its success in mind. But it has instead risen to a stage far larger than I thought it could perform on, almost dauntingly so as I fear for disappointing so many, both with its quality, and the fact I can't dedicate as much into its development as people hope and ask for. Even still, I hope you can forgive me for not being able to rise to expectations, especially in regard to the pace of development, or the length of silence revolving it. The one thing I can promise, is that I still love this creation of mine, and all of you who have seen and may continue to see it flourish, and I do not plan to end its development unless I die a very painful, early death.

Thank you very much!

#triaina academy #author asks #progress report

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l-in-the-light · 8 months ago

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Why did Law break the heart of poor Chopper? 😭🥺

Did he tho? :D I assume you mean the infamous "shut up" scene at the end of Wano. Did you know this is actually not the first time Law tells Chopper to shut up? But let's start from the beginning!

"See you around, Torao!", "Shut up!". In the anime it comes off much harsher than in the manga, in which the flow is completely different, because it happens immediately after or even in same time as Law's conversation with Luffy:

Law is trying to draw the line here, they've been in an alliance, but now it's over, so they had to know this would be the result, now they're back to being enemies. But since Law kinda expects Strawhats to forget about that (he was with them in that alliance long enough to know how "uneccessarily emotional" they are most of the time, lol), he reminds them about that, making it a very "manly" and "cool" goodbye in the end.

Except, it would stay that way, if not for Chopper destroying it all with his affectionate "see you around, Torao!" because he understands they became friends, and you say that to friends when you're parting ways, right? Chopper isn't really known for being able to "read the room", so he totally missed the vibe Law was going for. In the end Law has to shut him up before Chopper goes on to say even worse emotional stuff.

(btw Kid is not having any of this, just look at his grossed out reaction there... "set sail", it's like he's trying to make them leave faster so he doesn't have to hear their sobby pretentious goodbye lol)

You might have missed it, but it wasn't the first time Law told Chopper to shut up. The very first time it happened was in Punk Hazard, on their duo mission in the lab. Law, slightly aware they might be heard or watched, insists on Chopper hiding already because they're almost at the door. He wouldn't say it in a nice way. Don't get me wrong, I believe he is rather tamely mannered, but I can't deny there are a few things he indeed is rather rude about (though definitely still tame in comparison to other pirates): never saying greetings, for example, and also never saying "please". Apparently he uses "shut up" instead now, lol. Anyway here he told Chopper to shut up because he is worried they will be spotted and he won't say "please stay in the bag" lol.

(Law doesn't say "please" anymore, not after his last request was to Vergo and he got betrayed and Cora-san suffered as the result. Law didn't say the word "please" not even once ever since.)

Chopper is actually the first out of Strawhats crew that Law kinda bonded with. Despite Law telling him to hide, they actually talk for a bit in this scene and Law is really open with him too (telling him he can't deal with Caesar on his own and that's why he needs the help of Strawhats - a rare moment of honesty and something he didn't tell anyone else, not even Luffy). In a way, you can look at their goodbye in Wano as a callback to Punk Hazard :D

We know already Law is bad with greetings (which means also saying goodbyes). The best you can get from him is silence instead of "hi" or "bye", the worst you can get is "shut up". In Law's novel we also could see Law saying goodbye to Wolf and he struggled soooo much with it. If you thought Sanji's goodbye with Zeff was awkward, Law's goodbye with Wolf is like ten times that, haha. I will use some quotes here from the end of the novel, so if you want to skip it, now would be your cue :D (you can skip to the next image from manga!)

*cough cough* yes, it's Law saying that line: "stop, you'll make me cry". Young Law is a mood, I swear. In a way you can take it as a clue, Chopper got silenced so he won't blabble out emotional monologue like Wolf up there, melting Law's heart and pretense of toughness away.

"I have to say goodbye to the locals, as well only to those who have treated me particularly well. I think that includes the doctor and Rad".

It's worth noting that he says that as well in the novel, despite the fact we never see Law saying goodbye to practically no one in the manga. Not to Strawhats, not to Kin, not to Bartolomeo, and he was indebted to them to various degrees as well (not counting Kin, that was actually reversed). Young Law could stand goodbyes slightly better than adult Law, it seems.

A tearful goodbye between Wolf and Hearts. This is how his goodbye with Strawhats could have looked like as well, I guess? But keep in mind, when Law said his goodbye to Wolf it was pretty much the same situation like when Sanji said it to Zeff. Both were indebted to their mentors and didn't know if they will ever see each other again (and if they will, then when). Novel's ending suggests Wolf and Hearts didn't meet again and after Law announced them leaving for the Grand Line, you can be sure they never had occassion to go back to North Blue ever since. This goodbye is pretty much definitive, they won't see each other for more than a decade. The casual goodbye with Strawhats might mean they will see each other sooner than not! Especially with Chopper's foreshadowing "see you around!". Though I still think Law doesn't plan on meeting them again.

Now, is Chopper's heart truly broken by Law's response? He got shocked because Chopper doesn't understand why Law told him to shut up instead of telling him "see you around" or "take care" back. But Chopper often misreads the situation and that happens even in the Strawhats crew. At Jaya, Nami told him to dig for gold, only to scold him for something she told him to do mere moments later:

Chopper is simply bad at picking up those hints or realizing when someone asks of something unreasonable that's better to be ignored. He's also quite silly and naive, and ends up taken advantage of as the result. But mostly, all those social cues are beyond his understanding, because he's a reindeer. Chopper is also very emotional, always easily touched by someone's sad story or when seeing people crying. You can say his empathy levels are really high. Perhaps, but take it with a grain of salt, Chopper thought Law is a bit sad, maybe he picked up on his emotions that Law wanted to hide so well, so he said "see you around" to make it sound like their seperation isn't going to last very long, to cheer him up, and since no one else said it, Chopper thought he should (besides he also simply likes Law, why wouldn't he like him? they're both doctors and spent quite a long time together).

It didn't end the way Chopper wanted it to end (he probably didn't cheer up Law nor did he get any nice reply back), but it's hardly the first or the last time it happened to Chopper in the story. He can handle it, he's a tough reindeer :) sadly he probably won't learn any time soon, if at all. Also, this...

Some goodbyes are harsh for the sake of the person left behind. Here Hiruruk kicks out Chopper so the reindeer won't have to watch him dying with his own eyes. He thinks it's better to part ways before Chopper gets even more attached, so it hurts him a bit less. Hiruruk knows how kind and caring Chopper is and doesn't want him to lose his heart again. Sadly the only alternative he had was to break his heart a little, hoping it will heal fast, but at least *he won't lose it* completely. Could this also be seen as a parallel to Law's goodbye with Chopper? It might be, because I think Law is totally the same type of guy who would push people away for their own sake.

(Still, the next time they meet, Law might need to apologize to Chopper, hehe. After all he must know by now that Chopper's rumble balls literally saved his life)

That's it about Chopper, but let's go back to Law for a moment. Where did he get his habit of saying "shut up"? He did not have it as a kid... well. I think the novel gives us the answer indirectly to that (no spoilers, just two short quotes):

Wonder no more, it seems he learned that from Wolf, lol. Quite fitting because Wolf taught him how to be a responsible leader/captain as well :) Wolf loved those kids, like we can see from his goodbye scene. He kept telling them "shut up" mostly because he was embarrassed and also because he didn't want to get too attached to them at first (he had some poor experiences in his life before), and he wasn't used to have people around his house all the time, living together, sharing meals etc. Last time he had it, he lost it and he became quite bitter as the result. But spending time with Law, Bepo, Penguin and Shachi changed him a bit, to the point he could tell them that heartfelt goodbye instead of harsh words.

Now, is it just a habit Law picked up from him? Or is there something more to it? For starters, he doesn't really say "shut up" to anyone besides Chopper (and once to Luffy in One Piece Red, but there is sounds almost affectionate lol). Not to Usopp who is panicking (even if it slightly irritates Law), not even to Luffy who is always noisy (he does call him idiot though, but it's always deserved lol). But he does say it to his lovely Heart Pirates when they kept nagging him about going to the New World and he tells them "to stop yapping, shut up and follow his lead". And we know how much Law loves his Hearts. If Chopper deserved to be said to "shut up" then it already shows Law puts him in same category as his Hearts and thinks fondly of him. Just like Wolf was fond of his "stupid brats" he constantly shouted at to shut up.

One last thing, because context matters a lot as well. It's possible that Law said that to Chopper in that moment because he was afraid to get too attached to the Strawhats. Is it stretching it too far? I will let you all decide that for yourselves :D

#one piece #trafalgar law #chopper #tony tony chopper #wano arc #that “shut up” line to Chopper #I will be surprised if anyone besides me put that much thought into it lmao #ask #Law and Chopper are so lovely together imo #Law with strawhats #Law and friendships

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olenvasynyt · 3 months ago

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So, we all know how much you love Lucien, and in the spirit of appreciating him, here are some questions. Feel free to answer whichever ones you like:

1. What makes you like Lucien so much?

2. What do you think are his strengths and weaknesses?

3. What are your favorite headcanons about him?

4. What do you think about his magic?

5. How do you think he feels about his family and the Autumn Court? And what about Helion?

6. How do you think he currently feels about the Spring Court? And about Tamlin? And Andras?

7. How do you think he feels about the Night Court and the Inner Circle? And about Feyre?

8. How do you imagine his relationship with Jesminda was? And how do you think his relationship with Elain will turn out? How are they different, and how are they similar?

9. Since ACOEAS shows us a younger Lucien, how do you think he’s changed over time?

10. How do you think all the events from the books have affected him?

Omg anon I love youuuuu so many amazing questions thank you for distracting me!

1. What makes you like Lucien so much?

I've always been really drawn to characters like him. One of my first fictional crushes was Dustfinger from Inkheart, I read that series when I was 8 or so and I swear soo many of my fictional crushes are similar to him, including Lucien. I made this post about their similarities but in general: red hair, fire powers, scarred face / eye, rakish, foxy attitude, and tragic backstory where he loses his home and/ or misses his loved one?? I devour it. I fell in love with Lucien from the moment he stepped onto the page and I haven't been able to let go of him since. And besides my fixation on this type of foxy character, he's also just a character who stands out in ACOTAR? He offers a different perspective, he's a refreshing break from the very typical darked haired shadow daddy enemies to lovers trope. He's clever and sad, he's sexy and super fae, h'es brave and selfless and has an incredibly tragic story that I can devour. I could say soooooo much more but I think the answers to some of your other questions will apply to this one too lmao

2. What do you think are his strengths and weaknesses?

His cleverness is definitely one of his strengths. He is so smart and very little gets by him, he just sees everything. As an emissary, he knows so much about the world, politics, survival, etc. And he's very loyal and kind too, and will risk his life to do the right thing. Some people see this as a weakness, and some people will fully ignore or deny that Lucien had this, but he is absolutely brave and loyal.

But I think one of his weaknesses is his struggle to keep his mouth shut haha. And this is because he is brave and loyal, but sometimes his emotions do get the better of him and cause him to get in dangerous situations. I think he was more infamous of this when he was younger.

And he is very much filled with guilt and self-hatred, and I think this prevents him from doing certain things. It's not seen a lot on the outside, but Feyre got a little glimpse into his mind and saw some telling things:

I don't think feeling guilty and hopeless is necessarily a weakness: I think those are very important traits that a human should feel in order to grow. But I think his guilt from Jesminda is really impacting him, and maybe causing him to have complex feelings with his mating bond with Elain.

3. What are your favorite headcanons about him?

I made this post about my Lucien headcanons! I think one of my favorites is he used to have short hair when he was younger to make him not look like his brothers, but began to grow his hair out when he was with Jesminda. When she died he refused to cut it and now it's past his waist.

4. What do you think about his magic?

I might have made a post about this I can't remember, but a lot of people theorize that he doesn't have fire powers but I think he does, SJM is very unfortunately vague with her writing haha. I also like the symbolism of him having something of his mother's and his father's. He still has two parts of him, and Autumn is one of those parts! I'm realyl excited to see his Day Court magic, I definitely think the spell-cleaving powers will come into play with future plots.

5. How do you think he feels about his family and the Autumn Court? And what about Helion?

He absolutely has a lot of complicated feelings with his family. I do think he realized he was a bastard when he was quite young since High Fae magic develops around puberty. I think he was clever enough to keep it a secret. I think it's very complicated too. Eris wears this mask around people to get ahead and achieve his goals. He might have taken it off around LoA and when Lucien was younger, but I feel like as Lucien grew, Eris tried to distance himself from him to protect him and to help Lucien be able to protect himself. I feel like he was fairly close with him but they drifted apart for a bit when his powers developed, they came back together, then they drifted apart again. And Lucien may have developed some resentment for Eris because Eris is always wearing his mask to survive, and this may have hurt their relationship.

I also do think he loves the Autumn Court, but of course it's complicated too with the sexism and racism that festers in the Court. He learned from its people, he's familar with the land, and he holds memories close to him, as seen from how he decorates his room at the Spring manor.

Also about Helion, I go back and forth on if he knows Helion is his father or not. I think SJM will make him ignorant of this fact for the dramatics but it could be possible he knows because Helion became HL UTM. Maybe the heirs feel the transfer of power too. And we can see how Lucien displays HL heir powers as well, such as how he was able to command Cassian in SF. I'm actually going to do a separate post about his feelings about Helion lmao I'll link it here when it's up.

6. How do you think he currently feels about the Spring Court? And about Tamlin? And Andras?

BRO I think about him and Andras all the time, that was actually one of the first fanfics I looked up because I feel like he is still mourning for him. Bro, I would loveeeee it if they were lovers but that is yet another dead lover trope surrounding Lucien and 😩😭. But i do think he mourns over Andras still, even if he tries to push his feelings away. And about Spring and Tamlin as a whole: it's so heartbreaking because Spring and Tamlin became his home after he lost his. He lost Jesminda, ran from Autumn, and Tamlin took him in and welcomed him. And he played a very important role in the Court too. I think losing Tamlin and Spring was so frustrating for him. He is such a loyal person so I think it was so hard to leave Tamlin even after everything.

7. How do you think he feels about the Night Court and the Inner Circle? And about Feyre?

And speaking of frustratedddddd bro. I personally struggle with his friendship with Feyre, I think it was very one-sided and idk. I just hate Feyre for a lot of reasons and the way she has treated Lucien for the past few books genuinely makes me mad, I have made post after post after post on this topic lmao. But again, he's very loyal. I do believe he knows that the NC could be using him (as they have since ACOWAR) but he's not only clever enough to brush it off and use it to his advantage but he's also pretty hopeless. He clings onto things. But Night was his third home that he already doesn't feel like he belongs in, I think that might really piss him off. I do hope we get his POV in the future to finally get another perspective of the IC that's not riddled with annoying biases.

8. How do you imagine his relationship with Jesminda was? And how do you think his relationship with Elain will turn out? How are they different, and how are they similar?

Oh girl lmao, A Court of Embers and Sunlight will explain everything on my thoughts on Lucien x Jesminda I cannot fit it in this answer lmao. And explore my featured tags too because I talk about them a lot. I love them so much, I mourn for them, ugh. I think Jesminda was one of the first people who really saw him and gave him real hope. She is a huge part of his life, and she always will be.

And with Elucien. Ugh you should know my feelings for them too because omg I love them. I think Elain and Lucien will have some incredible tropes surrounding them: reluctant bond, suppressed feelings, growing into feelings, growing with each other and developing together. I think their bond is incredibly important and will be the key thing that discusses what fate is: SJM was like is it destiny or is it something we make, or is it both? (idk the exact quote lmao sorry). And I do think it's both with Elucien.

9. Since ACOEAS shows us a younger Lucien, how do you think he’s changed over time?

I think he has grown to become cleverer and sadder. He was always clever, but I really want to focus on what he doesn't know about in ACOEAS. In ACOWAR he said that he learned from Autumn's people, and I think them along with Jesminda really shown him different aspects of the world that he didn't know about. I also think he learned how to properly love, and that includes how to properly love himself. He doesn't have a lot of faith in ACOEAS because he kind of didn't see a future for himself. He was cast aside, dismissed and abused in the Forest House, and didn't feel like he belonged. But Jesminda made him feel like he belonged somewhere. This is kind of an answer for question 8 but idk, I think Jesminda helped him grow in a lot of ways.

10. How do you think all the events from the books have affected him?

Bro I think it fucked him up even more than he was before lmao. He's been through shit pre-ACOTAR: he lost Jesminda, he hasn't seen his mother, he lost his eye, he lost Andras, he lost Feyre in ACOMAF, he was hurt by his life-long friend Tamlin, he lost Tamlin and Spring, he and Elain have yet to work out their feelings, Rhys and Feyre are shits to him sometimes, and he's practically homeless and with only his job to keep him afloat. Like bro PLEASEEEEEEE GIVE HIM A HAPPY ENDING WITH ELAIN I BEG OF YOU, SJM

#thank you annonnnnnnnn #and thank you to everyone who read all of this lmao this is so long #pro lucien vanserra #lucien vanserra #jesminda acotar #lucien and jesminda #lucien x jesminda #pro elucien #elucien #feyre critical #inner circle critical

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awsugar · 6 months ago

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What kind of things did Frank/Gerard say about earlier MCR or when the band disbanded? I know they're all good now, but I'm so curious because it didn't come off that way at all back then! Or maybe I was just that oblivious haha

oh i mean DURING the band they were fine i beleive, it was like after they stopped playing shows and in the process of tpk that this transpired really, like the actual ENDING of the band. gerard didnt SAY anything bc hes very diplomatic like that except he did write millions which is very CLEARLY about the end of the band but also like. parts are for sure about frnak bc there are things included in the song that are like why on earth would you put THAT in a song about the end of the band. if not about frank who was very clearly writing the opposite perspective of that dynamic in his own music. i did an analysis on millions on my other blog that i was using while this one was held hostage from me for an entire year. you know just for like more context on that song.

but also when mcr were at franks la show in 2015, i have this post which includes a video about something he said about there being people there that he hadnt seen in a while

like i said, frank has a lot of songs that seem to at least in part touch on it, in his solo music, and theres also that interview somewhere about how frank knew the band was like on its way out but they didnt even tell him that they were posting like a breakup announcement when it happened and that it was like straight up over and how much that hurt him. frank was like REALLY vocal about how bad the band ending broke him

besidees the fact that gerard didnt leave music entirely, he put out his own album like a year later and toured on it. and he continued to work with ray and mikey on stuff. he did not continue to work on anything with frank. like...you know. there was obviously something about the machine of mcr that contributed to why he had to end it but its not like he put out HA on an indie 😭

besides the infamous 1st MCRBQ in 2017 which is when they first spoke about the possibility of playing music together again, and also that frank la show in 2017 where all of mcr were there it was the FIRST time we had ever seen frank and gerard in a room together again and there was something so....awkward. about their hug. like real awkward. but at the same time like the hugged for a little too long it was so like. i missed u...i really missed u

and theres definitely more but basically like its not like either of them came out and said 'were not talking' but there was so much like underlying evidence to back that fact up

and also like i think it was less prevalent on tumblr but if you were on mcrtwt in 2014/2015 it was VERY much a divide between frank stans and gerardies like. people really felt like they had to pick sides.

#anonymous #asks

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bakuromiii · 2 years ago

Text

¡MASTERLIST!

WORD COUNT - 10.146

GENRE - angst haha | fluff | established relationship!au | CEO!au | slowburn?

CHARACTERS/PAIRING - CEO!jaehyun x orphanage caregiver!fem!reader | nct/wayv

INTRODUCTION - getting into a relationship when you were at the lowest point of your life dragged you down to the bottom. but it dragged the ones you loved as well.

TAGLIST - @xxvaelinxx @bbhmystar @actuallynarii @gfksz @jenosbliss

A/N - yikes this one’s a deep one :( the song is track five on the album and track three on the playlist. have fun breaking your hearts :’) (also hi ik it’s been literally centuries but it’s finally here pls don’t kill me (for the rushed end.))

DISCLAIMER - read as you please!! i don’t want to trigger anyone and please lmk if i missed any warnings! i don’t want to be insensitive to anyone's feelings. thank you <3 p.s. this is not proofread and im so sorry for the immense pause.

It wasn’t too far into your relationship when you broke down in front of Jaehyun. You didn’t know why but opening up to him just became natural.

To be fair, you were also a little ways past tipsy.

In fact, you were a bit deep into the soju bottle you had bought while sitting outside of the convenient store when you first met Jeong Jaehyun, himself. Of course, you didn’t know he was the CEO of Jeong Peach Corporation at the time.

Jeong Peach Corporation. A fragrance and personal hygiene corporation company whose audience consists of he’s, she’s, and they’s. The brand as a whole has this certain aesthetic that is appealing to those people. But Mr. Jeong Jaehyun himself also had a certain aesthetic that definitely matched the brand name he built from the ground up. His striking looks and simply the way he carries himself has men and women falling on their knees for him. But it was a little too late for them to capture his heart the way you did.

“Hey you! I can see you looking over here. How ‘bout’chu come over here and I’ll show you a piece of my mind,” you slurred and held up your fist.

He was almost taken aback. Not because he was Jeong Jaehyun and you had the audacity to speak to him like that (again he carries himself in such a humble way that that would never be the option), but he was simply minding his business, walking to his car until he heard the sound of your drunk voice. He was definitely not expecting a drunk voice while he was ready to go home right around midnight.

He chuckled to himself, too amused at the mere thought of you. But it was midnight and this was the darkest the sky was going to get. It was dangerous for you— for anyone— to be out this late, by themselves, downing a bottle of soju. Well, two and a half bottles of the infamous alcoholic drink.

“Who are you? And why are you out here so late? Drunk?” He laughed, tucking his phone into his pocket, slyly grabbing a chair and sitting by you.

“Suffering. It’s tough out here,” you took another shot.

“Hello, suffering. Why are you out drinking soju so late?” He teased. It was easy to get along with you it seemed, the alcohol brought out the extrovert in you.

“Hey! My name is Y/n. Not suffering…. I’m just saying I’m suffering because,” you paused. And he subtly leaned closer to you, wanting to hear the reason why you’re here by yourself, downing the whole damn bottle.

“…. Just because, okay. Now can you please go so I can drown my own sorrows by myself? I don’t need another pity party,” you sobered up for a moment, then went back to pour yourself another shot.

But before you could take the shot, Jaehyun grabbed it from your loopy hands and took the shot instead.

“Hey! You don’t just take someone else's alcohol! That was the last shot too! Now I have to go buy another bottle!” You pushed yourself up from your seat only to be met with the hard concrete ground.

“You shouldn’t be out here this late, miss Y/n,” he said, his voice laid with concern.

“Who are you to tell me that? I don’t even know who you are,” you pouted, still sitting on the ground. He sighed to himself, showcasing his deep dimples, and got up from his chair to help you up. He was going to try and take you home.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing?!” He wrapped his arm around your waist to keep you up.

“Stranger danger! Stranger danger! This man is trying to kidnap me!” You yelled out. Of course, no one would really hear you. Besides Bong Cha— who was a goodie-two-shoes for Jeong Jaehyun and Jeong Jaehyun only— who walked out of the company right after her boss had. She saw the whole thing go down.

“Stop it! I’m trying to help you!” He struggled, since you were kicking and flailing your arms around in order to prevent him from taking you.

“Help me, my ass. What do you want from me? Taking advantage of a poor, drunk, girl just trying to get in my pants? Get off me fucking psycho. My car is the other way,” you kicked some more. And he gave up, placing you on the ground once more.

“Please, Y/n, you have to work with me here. I just don’t want you staying out late. Who knows? You could actually get kidnapped if I don’t help you.”

“How can I trust you? I don’t even know your name. You may be handsome but it’s always the hot ones that are fucked up. More fucked up than me!” You exclaimed.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. Maybe he should have just left you at the seven-eleven. But Jaehyun just sat on the ground next to you, a good distance away and observed your ridiculous, drunk, figure.

“I’m Jeong Jaehyun,” he started, “now can you please cooperate with me? I’m trying to help you, here.”

You looked up and squinted your puffy eyes at him. “In your damn dreams, you’re Jeong Jaehyun. Like I’d believe that. I may be drunk but I’m not fucken delusional.” Oh, but you were delusional.

You slowly raised from your seat on the ground and walked your way back to your car, which wasn’t actually where you parked it. The man followed you— sorta like a creep— just to make sure you were safe. But on the way to your car (which was not the right way at all), you bumped into Kim Bong Cha herself.

She hadn’t seen her boss behind you because it was a little too dark but she lashed out at you anyway, “Hey! Watch where you’re going dumb bitch.” You were about to pounce on her until he caught you before you had the chance.

“Let me go! Let me at her!”

The girl was shocked to still see her boss shielding her from you. And she felt embarrassed to let him hear the rude words come out of her mouth. Karma’s a bitch.

“I’m sorry, Bong Cha. Please, go home. And don’t discuss this to anyone. I’m just trying to help her,” he explained to his secretary. Ah, so she was his secretary. That makes a lot of fucking sense.

Quietly, she speed-walked to her car leaving the two of you alone again.

“Why didn’t you let me at her? She was being a rude asshole.”

“Y/n. She’s my secretary. And she’s always been like that. But don’t worry about her, okay. Please just let me help you,” he begged. It was too late for him to just leave you on the road.

You sighed, the dizziness was now getting to you.

“Fine. I need to get to my car, though,” you pushed him off of you.

“I don’t think you’re capable of driving right now,” he retorted.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do?”

And that was how you ended up sitting in the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s luxury car (the one he drove that day was his Aston Martin DB11.)

That was how you first met Jeong Jaehyun.

So much for first impressions.

—

When you woke up the next morning (with a massive headache), you found the CEO asleep on your couch. All in your shitty apartment. And when last night's events finally hit, you felt like the biggest asshole on planet Earth.

Jeong Jaehyun was sleeping on your couch. In your shitty apartment that could definitely not even compare to his lavish lifestyle. You felt embarrassed all over again. God, what the fuck were you thinking?

You tried to clean up a bit before you woke him up but nothing would fix the slightly stained walls and the old furniture he was definitely a foe to.

After you cleaned up the place, he still seemed to be fast asleep, so you decided to cook up some type of breakfast for him. The rusty refrigerator only consisted of greens (that were about to go bad), a carton of eggs, and a gallon of water. Sunny side eggs, it is.

This was for sure nothing he was used to. He was a CEO after all. The CEO of one of the most popular global brands, might you add. Which made the whole situation so much more humiliating.

Whilst you were cooking, you looked over your shoulder because of the squeaking of the couch Jaehyun fell asleep on. You wanted to fall off the face of the Earth.

Quickly you set the eggs into a plate and placed them next to his water you had already set on the table in front of him. He had only been awake for five seconds and he was met with the hospitality of you.

“Mr. Jeong Jaehyun,” you started, “or— no, yeah. Mr. Jeong Jaehyun, sir, I’m so incredibly sorry for the inconvenience I left last night. You did not have to take me home. In fact you didn’t have to stay the night, which was kinda stupid on your part, not that I would ever call you stupid, even though I just did but-” he cut you off. You definitely rambled a bit too much.

“It’s okay, Y/n,” he slightly laughed, picking up the chopsticks from the plate and eating the egg.

You sat in front of the table, too defeated to say anything. Too defeated to even look at him— even in the few minutes he had been awake, he was more prestigious than you’ll ever be. You didn’t care about who he was. You really did, of course, but after the whole mess, you didn’t even want to be in his presence anymore.

“Why are you so quiet, angel?” The pet name made you feel even worse. Why was he being so nice?

You gulped and looked at him.

“I’m just- I’m so sorry about last night. I was just-”

“Suffering?” He cut you off once more.

The fact that he answered you and finished your sentence made you want to crawl up in a ball and never come out. Last night definitely placed number one in your list of horrible nights.

“Uhm… yeah, that. But-”

“Why don’t you eat, love?” This was the third time he cut you off and the second time he referred to you as an endearing person. He acted as if he knew you for his entire life.

“I’m uh- it- it’s okay. I’m not really that hungry so,” you trailed off, looking down at your hands while you played with your fingers. Just then, he shoved his chopsticks in your face. A piece of egg sat on it. He motioned for you to eat.

You quickly turned your head and shook it, pushing his hand back, “No!” You cleared your throat, “it’s really alright, Mr. Jeong.” You really don’t know why you called him that but it just came out. It was probably the nervousness.

“Jaehyun.”

“Jaehyun… It’s really okay. I mean this is also the least I could do- uhm- especially after last night. Also, my house is a bit of a mess, I'm sorry about that.”

Jaehyun noticed the neighborhood and apartment complex you lived in. Of course, Jaehyun was a nice person so he wasn’t going to comment on it but it was obvious he noticed the living situation you were in. But none of it mattered to him. He just wanted to make sure you got home safely.

“Don’t apologize about that, Y/n. Now eat.”

“I have more eggs in the fridge. I can make my own, don’t worry about it,” you felt your face flush with heat. He caved in and shoved the piece of egg into his mouth, still worried about you.

It was awkward for a long time until he finished his food. You took his plate and cup and put it in the sink.

“I’m sorry. Do you want to wash up? Or maybe-” he laughed.

He had a habit of cutting you off, and you’ve only met this man all of eight hours. Most of those hours you were out cold.

“Stop apologizing, love,” he smiled at you, dimples on full display.

“I’m sorry-” you cut yourself off this time. He laughed again. You were cute.

“I actually need to go to the bathroom. Could you show me where that is?” He asked. You nodded and pointed him down the hall to the left. He quickly thanked you and made his way.

Right when the bathroom door closed, you ran into your bedroom and plopped, face first, into the sheets. How degrading that was.

When Jaehyun was done using the bathroom he got out and called your name which made you scurry out of your room to meet him from behind. You forcefully smiled and waited for what he was going to say.

“Your car is still at the convenience store.” Your fake smile dropped as you scrunched your nose, remembering how he drove you home.

“It’s alright. I’ll walk there later. It’s no problem.”

“But-” this time you were the one to cut him off.

“You’ve already done so much for me. I owe you my life,” you joked.

He playfully scoffed and walked toward you, now directly in front of you,“Just let me drop you off. It’s a far walk.”

“I can Uber or take the bus. Really, everything is okay. I don’t need you to help me anymore. You helped me more than I needed last night and I owe you everything I have.” You were so stubborn. He wouldn’t give up, though.

And there you sat in the same passenger seat as last night.

“I’m going to wash up at my house first. Is that alright?” He looked over to you while at a red light. You had been looking out the window before he said that.

“Of course. Take all the time you need. I’m in no rush.”

—

You underestimated the home Jaehyun lived in. It was pure luxury. Fenced-in house with a security system (that, alone, probably costs more than your apartment), green upkept grass, and a beautiful white exterior and interior that screamed majestic, mature, and regal. It made your home feel like a shit-show. It made you feel completely horrible about yourself.

“Please, come inside,” he opened the passenger side door for you.

Shakily, you unbuckle the seatbelt and exited his car. And he just sweetly smiled at you the entire time. It made you want to cry.

He led you to the front door with his hand hovering the small of your back. You could feel the heat of his hand through your shirt. You took off your shoes and followed him inside.

It was very bright and very aesthetically decorated. With plants (which you weren’t sure were fake or not), paintings that you had never seen before, and knick knacks that seemed too expensive for you to even touch. But he led you past everything in his house and went straight into his bedroom. He had a whole couch and side chairs as well as a fireplace. It was just as grand as the rest of his home.

“Uhm, you can sit on the bed if you’d like. Or the couch, I don’t know. But I'll be done shortly. Please, make yourself comfortable,” he held your arm, informing you. But you were too stunned to speak, so you nodded your head instead.

You sat on the couch, it was a little weird for you to sit on his bed when you barely knew anything about him (and he barely knew anything about you). Plus, you were too busy gawking at his house. And it made you feel self conscious again. It made you feel small; like you didn’t belong. Which you didn’t. So you don’t know why Jaehyun seemed so comfortable with you.

He came out of his bathroom— that was attached to his bedroom— buttoning up his shirt with damp hair. He took as quick of a shower as he could, to not keep you waiting. And through the reflection of the mirror, he could see you with your head facing down again, probably playing with your hands.

“Y/n, love,” he called out. You whipped your head around to his voice, not expecting that to escape his lips.

“Can you please help me button this?” You don’t understand why he called out to you as if you were his lover. Or at least someone he was comfortable with. Couldn’t he see that you were a bit lost?

You sighed to yourself and wiped your palms against your pants, hesitantly walking up to him.

Carefully, you buttoned up the rest of his shirt and looked up at him. He was already staring at you with all the love and adoration in his eyes. Of course, you didn’t realize this at the time. Jaehyun himself didn’t even realize it.

He then handed you his tie, “I hope you can tie a tie?”

You’ve tied many ties in your time of working at the orphanage.

—

Warm Hearts Orphanage held a prolonged special place in your heart. You’d been going to the orphanage as far back as you could remember. The orphanage held children from infants to teens. And everyone there was like family. Even though your little family didn’t have much, it always warmed your hearts to give back to children who were less fortunate than you were. And though you grew up poverty stricken, these children suffered more than you did and all you wanted was to help them.

You’ve seen children come and go, and the thoughts that always come to you is that they lived a happy life. Everyone in the orphanage deserved it. Even the sourest of apples, because all they wanted was to be loved by a family.

That being said, the orphanage always planned surprise parties for those children who had been adopted. It was a nice tradition, and you’ve helped many children get ready to graduate from Warm Hearts into a family that will love them.

—

“I can.”

As you were doing up his tie he slowly raised a hand to pat down your hair. The action made you pause your movements. Then, you realized everything that was going on was completely wrong and inappropriate, so you quickly finished doing his tie and took a step back. Your heart fell to your ass.

“What’s wrong, lovely?” You still felt like you were going to cry.

“I- Nothing. Don’t worry about me,” you fakely smiled again. But, again, it was as if he knew you your entire life because he wiped the pad of his thumb against your lips, making you genuinely frown.

“How can I not worry when you seem squeamish? And these fake smiles plastered on your face. What’s wrong?” He stopped swiping your bottom lip and cupped your face with the entirety of his right hand; thumb rubbing your cheek instead.

You still forced a smile and wrapped your hand around his wrist, bringing his hand away from your face. You felt undeserving of everything he was doing to you. And you wanted to hide your emotions as much as you could.

“I’m okay. You can stop worrying about me. I’m fully capable of taking care of myself,” you released your hold on his wrist and held yours, crossed in front of your body.

This time, with his left hand, he smoothed down your hair and let his hand rest on your face.

“Okay, pretty. If you say so. Now, let’s go get your car, yeah?” You bit your lip and nodded and he led you out of his house with his hands on the small of your back, just like he did when he was bringing you inside.

The seven-eleven you were drinking at just so happened to be located right next to Jeong Peach Corporation. Your car was still parked in the parking lot. And it was still nothing to ever compare to the CEO who was sitting beside you.

You both got out of the car, and he was standing in front of you.

“Thank you and I apologize for last night. But if it weren’t for you, I’d probably be passed out on the sidewalk,” you awkwardly laughed.

“No worries, love. And thank you for your hospitality. I’m happy you’re doing alright,” he responded.

You pursed your lips and pivot your heels to the direction of your car.

“I hope to see you again, Y/n.” Yeah right.

You pivot your heels back to the direction of Jaehyun. The embarrassment of last night and this morning still lingered in your body. There was no way you would see him again. You were from two completely different worlds. And there was no way you were coming back to this seven-eleven.

“I hope so too,” you said bitterly before rushing to your car.

“Y/n!” He said before you could finish shutting your door. You groaned to yourself, stepping back out of your car and facing him again. You wanted to save yourself from the self-bashing already.

“Would you like to… maybe… grab something to eat later?” But damn, he was too nice to turn down. You wanted to say yes so badly, but another part of you wanted to decline. You just didn’t belong in his world.

He was born to an upper class family, you knew that. Everyone knew that. So what would happen if you said yes? You had nothing to offer.

But it didn’t hurt trying, right?

You took in a huge gulp, “…. I would like that.”

“I’m sorry, what?!” exclaimed Danbi while the two of you were washing dishes.

The kids had just eaten and they were now free to do whatever they pleased, whether that was draw, sleep, or take a walk during the good weather.

“Keep it down!” You shushed her.

“I can't! THE Jeong Jaehyun of THE Jeong Peach Corporation asked you out on a date tonight?!” She squealed in happiness for you, making the bubbles fly everywhere.

You told her everything that had just happened within the past twenty-four hours. And she was beyond stoked for you. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and she knew you deserved it the most. You’d been through hell and back and you’re about to go right back. She knew everything about your situation, you’d both been volunteering here for years so it was only natural to open up to one another.

“No one said anything about a date…. Just a, uh, hangout. Yeah…. a hangout.”

“Y/n, he just met you and he’s head over heels for you already! I’m so excited for you!”

You were excited too. Way beyond excited.

—

Jaehyun said he would pick you up around nine p.m. You had just gotten back from grocery shopping and you now had a little over an hour to shower and get ready. You didn’t even know where he was taking you.

But as you were applying your makeup and looking in your bathroom mirror, everything started shutting down on you. And you were surrounded with nothing but your own, suffocating, thoughts. You were a fraud. But Jaehyun was coming to pick you up soon, so now was not the time to think about it; or at least try not to. Fake it ‘till you make it.

When the knocking on your door signified Jaehyun's arrival, you quickly sprayed some perfume and opened up the door for him.

You were wearing a simple, spaghetti strap black dress with a slit on the side leg and a dark gray blazer with a matching bag. He looked the same as he did when you saw him this morning, except his blazer was now off of his body and he took off his tie which left him with his white button up (which he unbuttoned the first few to give him more of a casual look).

“Are you ready?”

☹ ☹ ☹

I told you I was down bad

You hate to see me like that

Two whole years had gone by and it was almost your third anniversary. Almost, as in, it was six months away. But so much can happen in a mere six months that seem to pass by so quickly.

You were in your apartment, the same crappy apartment you lived in two years ago, crying in your sheets. Your damn thoughts were getting to the best of you again.

And when you didn’t respond to Jaehyun’s phone calls, it was an understatement to say he was worried about you. So he drove to your apartment immediately.

He frantically knocked on your door and almost broke it down until you came to open it, eyes still red from your tears and breath still uncontrollable. Your lover welcomed himself inside and shut the door, holding you so tight yet soft in his embrace in the doorway. He was trying to comfort you with his lips resting on your forehead and his hands carefully cradling your body.

“It’s alright, love. I’m here. Don’t cry. Please. I need you,” he repeated into your hair, rubbing your back and swaying you both side to side. But the action made you cry even more. You didn’t deserve the love he gave to you. Your head rested on his firm chest as you tried to calm down the pain.

“Angel, where are your meds? Are they in your room?”

You nodded as best as you could as he carefully led you inside and into your bedroom. Jaehyun sat you down on your bed before grabbing a glass of water for you to take your pills. You hated relying on him so much. You hadn’t changed. But what you don’t know is that Jaehyun loved you even more than he did two years ago. He loved you because you weren’t afraid to show him such a vulnerable part of the human being you had become. Or so he thought.

You did what you had to do and he carefully pulled you into bed with him. Your head rested in the crook of his neck as he felt your hiccuping breath die down into slumber. He rubbed your back some more, hoping that it would lull you to sleep faster.

You don’t know what you’d do if he wasn’t here. Jaehyun was your everything, as were you to him.

—

When you woke up the following morning, you were still in Jaehyun’s embrace. Slowly, you turned around to check the time and the clock read 5:43

a.m. That was why it was still dark outside.

You turned back around to face Jaehyun and you sadly smiled at him. He worked so hard 24/7 and the purple bags under his eyes proved that. You just wished there was something you could do to help him, just like the various ways he had helped you. Jaehyun has always been there to help. From the day you two met, to this moment, Jaehyun was always your number one.

You shifted around in his arms as he slightly groaned because of the sudden movement.

“I’m sorry, love. Keep sleeping,” you whispered, kissing his closed eyes. He came to your house in his work clothes, though, so you were sure he was a bit uncomfortable. You walked to your wardrobe and found some folded up pajama pants he left over the other night as well as one of his gray hoodies he left ‘not on purpose.’ You gathered his clothes and walked to the bed to wake him up.

“Wake up. If you’re gonna keep sleeping, at least change, love. You’re probably all stuffy in your button up and dress pants,” you lightly shook him awake. He groaned some more before stretching his limbs and opening his eyes. You were the best thing he could ever wake up to.

Jaehyun playfully pulled the blanket over his head and managed to wrap his arms around your waist as you were sitting down beside him. You laughed at his antics and tried to free his grip on you. It failed; and you ended up wrapped under your sheets with him, his comfortable clothes still in your hands.

“What if I don’t want to change,” he challenged.

“You don’t have to,” you teased. “But it’s not going to be my fault when you complain about being uncomfortable.”

His tight hold on you faltered for a moment before he fully released you and took off your blanket from his (and your) bodies. He released a puff and pouted his plump morning lips. The man sighed and got out of bed, taking the clothes you had in your hands and just stripping from his work clothes right then and there.

“Aren’t you gonna change in the bathroom?” You asked, laying back down in bed. So much for getting up.

“Eyy, you know I don’t do that. I’m gonna come back into bed anyway,” he said before climbing in after you and pulling the grey sheet back onto him. As he slid into your bed, you wrapped your arms around his head as he rested himself to be held by you. Jaehyun loved being babied, especially in the early hours of the morning. It was one of the many charismatic features about him.

—

When you woke up the second time that morning, it was only nine o’clock. But Jaehyun seemed to be awake now, cooking breakfast that was sizzling from the kitchen.

Quietly, you sat on one of the stools and stared at him. He was the best thing that ever came into your life.

But why did he openly put himself in it?

You always wondered why Jaehyun stayed. It always turned into panic attacks and crying fits, but you couldn’t help it. He was a part of a completely different social status and you stood out like a sore thumb when you were next to him. It wasn’t like you were ashamed to be his girlfriend; you just thought he was ashamed to have you as his girlfriend.

He should.

There goes those thoughts again.

Unknowingly, you choked a sob which made him turn around. When he saw you, he smiled with pure adoration beaming in his eyes. God, why did he make this so hard?

He shut off the stove and walked toward you, forgetting about the breakfast he was making, it was almost done, anyway. Jaehyun wiped his hands with a towel and walked to you, cupping your face with his right hand, wiping the tear that seemed to fall from your eye.

“Why are you crying, love?” He still held the same, sweet, smile.

“…. I love you.”

He raised you from your seat and just hugged you, lips resting on the crown of your head, swaying you back and forth on the creaky floor.

“I love you more.”

“I’m sorry I’m like this,” you confessed against his chest.

But he immediately raised you from your position, to look at his, now serious, expression.

“Never apologize for something you can’t control. You say sorry all the time, peach. I love that you feel the need to say it, but you really don’t need to say it all the time. Especially in front of me. You know how much I love you, right? For being who you are?” He wiped the baby hairs away from your face.

“You know how much I don’t care how messed up, or whatever you call it, you are, right?”

“…… Of course.”

“Then you should stop being such an amazing person. I don’t deserve you. But here I am,” he laughed, tugging you into his frame once more.

However, you still felt the need to give him the world. You still felt as though you owed him your life, he’d been your boyfriend for almost three years.

And yet you still thought that it was you who didn’t deserve him.

“Now stop crying. You know I don’t like it when you cry. Especially if it’s your damn thoughts that are eating at you.”

You love him so much.

☹ ☹ ☹

I don’t know how you look past

My stupid fucking setbacks

You said it before and you’ll say it again. You’ll say it a million more times; Jaehyun deserved more.

Sometimes, you’ll look in the crooked mirror placed in your bathroom and just think to yourself. Think about all the negatives rather than thinking about the positives. And although there are times you do think about the positives, they all end up with a wretched outcome. And then it’s negative thoughts all over again.

It’s the same routine and you’re growing sick of it. You’ve been sick of it ever since you could remember and you despise people who seem to have it easy. It just seemed as though there was no luck for you. The only luck the universe brought to you was Jaehyun. There are times, though, where you wished you never met him. He was a goddamn CEO and you were a low-class citizen. None of it just made sense.

But you loved him. It just hurts to deal with your true emotions and stow them away from your lover; because you never wanted him to watch what you were going through. Even the thought of it made you want to vomit.

Trauma just came natural to you, apparently. And you absolutely hated it. You just wished you were different, then maybe you wouldn’t feel so guilty about dating Jaehyun. Then he would truly be proud of who you are.

He was already proud of you, though. And he’s told you this a billion times. Your brain just makes you believe that he’s saying it out of pity. He’s only saying it because you’re his girlfriend.

And the cycle continues.

—

You were spending the next couple of days at Jaehyun’s house. It was obvious he didn’t like your lifestyle and wished for you to live with him. You could never bring yourself to do it though; to always rely on him for everything that you do. You were fully aware of what you could and could not do, and you didn’t need him to help you.

Which led you to silently cry away your sorrows in his bathroom. You were taking a bath, in hopes to dial down the overwhelming emotions that engulfed you. Yet here you were, with a flushed face and puffy eyes— the aftermath of a breakdown.

It seemed as though ever since you got into a relationship with Jaehyun, your anxiety only intensified. And that resulted in the thoughts that had been burdening your mind since the day you two met.

Fortunately, he wasn’t home to face the pointless shenanigans that go through your head. So you had enough time to pull yourself together, take your meds, and try to meditate on the balcony that was attached to his bedroom.

The summer nights were cool enough for you to relax your mind before Jaehyun made his way home. You were working at the orphanage the whole day and you managed to pull through the entire day without a single tear, which probably led to the bathroom-breakdown fiasco.

The crickets had been chirping and the wind was starting to blow. That was when you heard the bedroom door open. And when Jaehyun saw the slight movement of the balcony curtains, he knew you were outside doing whatever you do best.

Quietly, the man sighed to himself, placed his work on the side desk and undid his tie. He was finally home. He was finally with you.

Jaehyun opened the sliding door larger than what it was and joined you in sitting on the floor with his legs crossed. At first he let out a long breath and looked out toward the yard which his bedroom was facing. Then, he got tired and shifted toward you.

That happened all in thirty seconds.

Your eyes were still closed as you breathed in. Jaehyun lovingly smiled at you and kissed the side of your head.

“I missed you today, angel,” he broke the silence.

You opened your eyes and shifted your body to face him.

“You say that every day,” you chuckled and played with his fingers. A habit of yours that Jaehyun absolutely adored.

“And it’s always true. I can't wait for the day I get to see you every time I come home.” You felt more guilty that he had the need to say that. And you knew he meant nothing harmful, he was just a caring person and didn’t want you living the life you had. You were better off living with him.

But you joked, “You will. For the next three days. And then I’m off home.”

He groaned and layed back on the cold floor. “Don’t remind me. I want to cherish the time we have now.”

You laughed once more. He was acting as if he didn’t come to see you practically every day. Sometimes, he’ll even leave his job just to come see you at the orphanage.

“Eyy, quit saying that. I’m still here. You come by all the time. Sometimes twice a day. You’ll get sick of me soon, I can guarantee. I don’t know how you put up with me all these years.”

Although you were (partially) joking, Jaehyun sat right up from his prior position and looked at you with his pout and furrowed brows.

“What do you mean, peach? I could and would never get sick of seeing you. Don’t say that.” You were shocked to see him react that way.

You slightly snickered at him and said, “I was joking, love. I’m sorry,” you leaned your head closer to his and placed a little kiss on his lips, to make him sort of forgive you for saying that.

“You better be. I don’t know what I’d do without you, peach,” he kissed back. And pecked your lips repeatedly, several times.

The actions made you laugh out loud and slightly push him away. Jaehyun loved being the reason why there was the brightest smile on your face. So he quietly smiled as your eyes crinkled because of him.

He suggested that you two wash up. However, you already told him you bathed before he came home. And like a child, he groaned and went into the bathroom himself. But he made you promise to wait for him tomorrow. You agreed, because he was your little baby.

As he was in the shower, you cuddled your way into his bed sheets and blanket. The lights were now dimmed and all you were doing was waiting for him to get out of the shower. Hopefully he would be able to beat the slumber that easily pulled you in.

The warmness of the blanket, though, soothed you to sleep and Jaehyun was unable to defeat the unfortunate slumber that casted over you. It was a shame since he wanted to talk to you; ask about your day and what you did. He’d grown used to the look of your puffy eyes, and he knew you’d been crying. He knew you were having a moment the minute he stepped onto the patio. Because the only time you would sit out there was if something was bothering you.

Being the amazing person he was, left you alone, and didn’t ask about what you clearly didn’t want to talk about. He believed that you would open up to him when you were ready. You’ve already opened up to him so much, but nothing would stop him from worrying about you.

Once he got out of the shower and towel-dried his hair, he placed the wet towel in the basket and climbed into bed next to you, immediately clinging to your fatigued figure. God, he would give you the entire world. Jaehyun turned around and shut off the lamp on his side of the bed (yours was already turned off) and hugged you against him, his breath soon evening out to match yours.

And fast asleep he was.

—

The following morning, Jaehyun was awakened with your fingers threaded in his hair and his face squished against your chest. He managed to stretch some parts of his limbs whilst still, practically, laying on top of you.

“Good morning, angel,” he said in his morning voice, “I’m not going into work today.”

As a CEO, you’d expect him to take care of himself (with Jaehyun being his own boss and all) but you didn’t expect him to say he wasn’t going in. Not that you minded, you’d much rather spend the day with him but Jaehyun was a hard-working man, and he rarely took days off.

“I’m not going in for the next three days either. It’s been a while since I took a day or two off.”

“Yeah, but you’re taking four days off, including today. Are you sure you want to do that?”

He was taken aback for a moment. Did you not want to spend time with him anymore?

“There’s nothing wrong with me taking four days off. You appreciate it, no?” He said in the littlest voice which instantly made you regret what you said.

“No, no, no. Oh, I’m sorry my love, I didn’t mean to make you upset. It’s just that you’re so busy with work and it’s just me so you don’t have to-” you rambled.

“And that’s where I’m gonna stop you. You know how much you mean to me, so of course I’m gonna take these days off to spend as much time with you as I can. The company's getting a little busier with a new launch around the corner but I’m sure they’ll be able to survive without me for a few days,” he retaliated.

You sighed, still feeling like an asshole for wording the sentence the way you did. God, could you do anything to make him happy? It felt as though everything you said and everything you did could never satisfy him. Of course, those were just your thoughts.

Jaehyun was happy that you cared about his job, but what he wanted you to realize the most is how much he wanted to be with you. Whatever it was, spending time with you is the best remedy he could ever ask for.

Just why is he never sick of you and your words? You’re sure he would be with how rude you, unintentionally, were to him.

☹ ☹ ☹

When you opened up the door

You let me in when you should have your guard up

Thinking back to the time you finally let Jaehyun crawl through your walls— when he’d let down his walls way before you— the constant feeling of regret and pain constantly filled you. Whether or not the glass was half-full or half-empty, it was always just half. There was never a certain hundred percent yet Jaehyun took his time in letting you trust him as Jeong Yoon Oh.

Thinking back to the time you first met Jaehyun himself, he somehow couldn’t process the red-flag you were oh-so not afraid to show while you were inebriated. He thought you were cute, and the words you were spilling from your mouth, conscious or not, made him feel sort of protective over you. And he didn’t even know you.

It was about ten a.m. when the two of you got out of bed. Ever since the conversation earlier, the air has just been tense. At least for you. You’re sure Jaehyun probably hadn’t felt anything but your brain was constantly playing tricks on you, and this could be one of them.

Your lover is in the bathroom now, as you’re sitting on the bed staring into space with your thoughts locked into your brain. You should apologize. Of course, you want him to stay home with you, but he plays an important role in the economy and in his industry that you can’t help but feel bad for keeping him away from what he loves doing most.

Resting against the headboard, you turn your head toward the bathroom door that was being opened. He walks through and sits back in his spot next to you, although his body is fully facing yours.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I just… I don’t want to keep you here if you have a lot to prepare for your launch,” you sighed and rubbed your eyes.

He laughed, but the feeling of hurt lingered a bit in his eyes as he held the utmost respect to you. “You don’t have to apologize, my love. It’s completely okay. And if they need help, they have my number and it’ll all get fixed with a simple phone call, alright?” He used his right hand to cup your face, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the surface of your cheeks.

You bit your lip in hesitation but you stopped when Jaehyun leaned down and kissed away the bad habit he always noticed you had.

“Let’s make breakfast, yeah?” He whispered against your lips, giving you the biggest puppy eyes ever. You laughed and kissed him one more time before going into the bathroom to get ready for whatever the day was going to bring.

—

Breakfast was absolutely lovely. As it always is whenever you’re with Jaehyun. But for some reason, this morning’s just hit so different.

Today, though, you planned on going to the orphanage just as a surprise visit. Truly, it was your home. Your second home (if you considered Jaehyun.)

“Well, I was planning on getting goodie bags for the kids but… I don’t think I’m gonna. We can just spend the day there,” you were telling him all the things you wanted to do today and the things you wanted to do for the kids there but you were having trouble deciding what to actually do.

“Nah, we can go to the grocery and buy them goodies,” he abruptly said as if it was no problem. Realistically there was no problem. Except you.

“But-”

“No buts. I haven’t seen them in a while, so just consider it a gift from me. Now, let’s finish our food and get some snacks for the kiddos,” he put his plate in the sink as you sighed in adoration (and maybe a little in guilt.)

Grocery shopping with Jaehyun was like grocery shopping with a child. And it was good, because he picked out snacks he thought the children would like, as well as treat bags to put them in. He was a child at heart although he portrayed a stoic and successful CEO.

The two of you sat in his car for an hour in the Warm Hearts Orphanage parking lot packing juices and snacks and candy into the bags before finally walking through the front door.

One of the staff members had seen you and happily greeted the two of you as you walked into the main entrance to the room the kids spent the most. Upon your arrival, all of the children shouted in happiness, greeting you with hugs and questions of the bags that were placed in a cardboard box that Jaehyun was holding.

Giving them out and spending time with them truly warmed your heart as they played the whole day long with Jaehyun.

He was so fond of children and your entire being melts with the sight of him playing with them and catching them up on his launch.

Something about it was heartwarming yet bittersweet.

You don’t know how long you could last anymore.

☹ ☹ ☹

What a painful back and forth, oh

Today was just not a good day. For you and for Jaehyun. He called you in the morning and said he was going to visit you at your apartment when he was done in the office.

Only problem was, it was twelve in the morning when he walked through the door with the extra key you gave him. Your apartment was quiet, excluding the yelling from the thin walls of whichever neighbor.

For the first time since he’s met you, this was the first time he’d actually noticed every little detail about your apartment. From the stained walls to the crack in your window. He felt like he wanted to cry. Jaehyun didn’t want you living like this anymore, that was the truth. And he knew you worked two jobs before committing to the orphanage. He also knew you were never able to pursue college. No amount of scholarships you were given could afford the ungodly university tuition.

And just as he was about to suck up the water forming in his eyes, you walked out of your room, fully awake. You stopped and called out his name. But the ringing in his ears only got louder. And soon he broke down into tears.

You were completely shocked. It was midnight and you didn’t think he would come over because it was so late. But now he’s here, and you don’t know how long he has been standing there, breaking down right in front of you.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong, angel?” you held him in your grasp as his tears kept coming down.

“Why are you crying? Please tell me, my love,” you pleaded, voice cracking. In the three years you’d known Jaehyun, he was never one to cry. Not one tear. He wouldn’t ever tear up either. So seeing him like this, vulnerable, was both shocking as it is confusing.

“I just…” he sobbed, “I just love you so much. Please don’t ever leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” To you, he wasn’t making much sense but he was still valid to have these thoughts. Some people have their off days and you guessed this was his.

“Of course not, Yoon Oh.” He cried harder, somehow pulling you even closer than before, his head still hiding in the shadows of your neck.

Moments passed by before he finally lifted his head up. He looked so ethereal though he was covered in tears and the image in front of you made you want to cry yourself.

“You’re okay. I’m right here,” you cupped his face with both of your hands, wiping away the tears on his cheek with your thumbs. He does the same to you, although you’re not crying.

“I want you with me forever,” he whispered, searching through your eyes as if he doesn’t know you like the back of his hand.

“I’ll be here.”

You don’t know if you’re lying to him with the response. But only time can tell whether the guilt forever residing in your heart gets the best of you and inevitably, to the best of him. But he’ll get over it right? He’s Jeong Jaehyun after all.

—

You’re now laying side by side on your bed. He is being cradled in your arms as he continues to calm down in the drowsiness of the late hours of the night.

“I’m sorry about breaking down earlier. I just… I don’t know, I just felt super overwhelmed all of a sudden I guess,” he lifted his head up to look at your moonlit face.

You shook your head and stroked his hair. “Don’t apologize. You deal with me all the time,” you dryly chuckled.

“Because I know what you go through… But thank you,” he rubbed your back.

“For what?”

“For being there for me when I need you most. I really appreciate it…” he trailed off for a moment, “I really appreciate you.”

“Please…” he continued, “Come live with me.”

You don’t know if it was sympathy, pity, pure love, or all of the above. But Jaehyun was very much aware that he could treat you like a queen. Which he already does, and that makes you all the more hesitant.

“You know that-” you’re cut off.

“I know. I know you refuse to but please. You’re my entire world, Y/n. I can’t even explain to you in words how much you and your entire existence means to me,” he’s desperate now. So desperate to finally have all of you. So, so desperate to watch you flourish into the beautiful bouquet he knows you are.

You sigh and continue to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. “I’ll think about it.”

But the both of you knew the true meaning behind those words. Yet neither of you can say a word.

☹ ☹ ☹

It’s hard to ignore all of my problems

You couldn’t even count all of the imperfections and impurities that you had hiding within yourself. So much so, that you seem to project those imperfections onto the people around you. To the people that you love.

And sure, they might not notice them— ignore them, in fact— but they are clearly written out right in front of you and they don’t ever seem to go away. Which is probably why they say ‘you are your greatest enemy.’ It was true.

Yet of course, these thoughts had to swarm your mind at the grocery store. Grocery shopping, for crying out loud. With Jaehyun and with bunches of people who are too nosey to not look at you and not whisper to themselves as to why you are crying.

With the shopping cart full, Jaehyun pulls it over to the side so as to not create traffic, and pulls you closer to him by your arms.

He pushes the hair out of your face and leans down to see you. All of you.

“What’s wrong, my love?” He shushes you and wipes the tears off your cheeks.

This was absolutely terrible. Even the most domestic and everyday tasks were a hassle. And you felt like you were burdening Jaehyun in the busy market that only the wealthiest people had shopped at (since you were staying over Jaehyun’s again for a few days.)

“Nothing, it’s- I’m okay,” you sucked in a breath and wiped your tears before looking up at him to meet his worried gaze.

“Are you sure?” He squinted his eyes.

You took in another breath before nodding.

“One hundred percent sure?” He patted your flyaway hairs down. You nodded again.

“I need words, angel. To make sure you’re okay. Really okay.”

“I’m okay, I promise,” you try to give him your best smile.

He only responds with the softest kiss to your forehead.

“I need you to be with me,” he whispered against your skin.

“I am. One thousand percent. I’m okay,” you whispered back, now getting self conscious of the scene of you and Jaehyun canoodling in a grocery store on a Wednesday at eleven a.m.

He believed you, however the rest of the shopping trip went by slowly, awkwardly, and quietly.

You wished you could change the way you think.

☹ ☹ ☹

Cause I'm no good (Ooh), you could do better (Ooh)

You should walk out, it's now or never

Ninety-nine percent of couples argue. Those statistics are completely true. No matter how often or how little, couples everywhere have their fair share of fights.

You and Jaehyun are one of those couples that rarely fight. Today, however, had not been very good to the both of you. Stress, anxiety, and more stress were eating at the both of you and now it landed you here. Just great.

“I don’t need you constantly taking care of me! I’m perfectly fine on my own!” You shouted toward him.

“Clearly you’re not if you break down every other day! I just want you to be okay,” he lets go and sits on one of the chairs in the living room. His face is hiding in his hands as he feels the anger and disappointment run through his brain.

Noticing this reaction, you sigh and furrow your eyebrows. It’s silent for a fleeting moment. “Why? You know I’ll be okay.”

You sit on the couch, opposite of the black leather chair Jaehyun is sitting in.

“I know how much you’re hurting. And I don’t ever want you to feel those terrible feelings ever again. I want to be here for you and I want you to know that I want to be here for you. Can't you understand?”

It isn’t too much after he let out those words that you feel the tears fill up the sockets of your eyes and the void of the room. The walls that had now captured the two lovers screaming at each other now hear the abundant silence between them.

“I can't give you anything. You do so much for me and I’m just here.”

“I don’t care. No materialistic thing could ever compare to you just being here with me.” He gets up and sits next to you, making sure you know he’s with you the entire way.

“But it’s not enough.”

“Yes it is, Y/n. And I don't know what else to say to get through that thick head of yours. I love you for being you. And I love you for accepting me for who I am, not who I need to be. I don't need you to offer me anything besides your love.”

“That's the thing. I can only offer you my love.”

“I don’t care! Y/n, you need to realize how much you affect me. And I can't let you go around saying those words because they hurt me. It genuinely hurts me to hear those words.”

“…. I'm sorry.”

“Y/n, you truly don’t know how much you help those around you?”

It was silent for a moment.

“You work in a damn orphanage, for crying out loud! For fun. And it just makes me appreciate you. Appreciate how much you enjoy the happiness of other people. It’s all I could ever ask for.” He wiped the tears falling from your eyes.

“Please don’t cry. I just need you to know how much I love you. Why can't you see that? Do you not love me anymore?”

With zero hesitation, you released his hand from your face and stood up, “No! Don’t say that! Of course I still love you!”

“… it’s just that…”

“Don’t even say it, Y/n.”

The gloomy night has come to an end. And yet Jaehyun will not— will never— leave you behind.

☹ ☹ ☹

Gonna regret being too honest

Callin' it love, but this isn’t fallin'

It’s the following morning. It is truly a gloomy morning, in fact. The rain was slowly pouring, the wind was rustling against the trees, and the upcoming fog coming from the ocean was painting the neighborhood.

The minute you woke up in Jaehyun’s arms, you remembered the fight the night prior. And, God, did you feel like an absolute ass.

Could this be it? It’s been three years and yet the question still lingers. Just why? It seems as though you bring him so much pain and yet he has chosen nothing but enduring the repercussions of your wrath.

You gradually regained the strength to get up and without a minute to spare, you quietly escaped out of Jaehyun’s protective arms to make breakfast. Some sort of remedy to help heal the pain of last night's argument.

You sat on one of the island chairs waiting for the food to cook in the oven. Slowly but surely, you were once again trapped in your thoughts. Were you being too harsh? Were you being too honest? Were you actually enough to be with the most amazing man on planet Earth?

All of these questions were paused by the padding of feet coming into the kitchen. You look up at him, not expecting anyone else. And in his dazed glory, Jeong Yoon Oh was still the most precious human being that had ever entered your existence.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing you’re able to say before finally crying. Crying the waves of emotions that you felt the night before yet did not physically show.

He didn’t say a single word. He didn’t have to. All he did was take you in his embrace and whispered apologies and sweet nothings into your ears. The rest of the morning went by with stuffy noses and quiet munches.

—

“I’m sorry about last night,” you apologized once again, sitting on the bed watching him get ready through the mirror.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I just want you to know that you can lean on me. You’ve been able to lean on me for years now…. I didn’t mean to yell but desperate times call for desperate measures,” says Jaehyun.

“But I'm not desperate at all, you know that.”

“Yes but don’t you know I’m so desperate for you?”

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