#...i kind of really dig this icon the more i look at it random thing i know but c:

[threewaysdivided]

for the ask game: 💥🤔📚

if we can only do one, your pick :)

(Fanfic writer ask game)

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

I've talked about some other changes in a previous ask, but I think Danny Phantom could have been improved by either re-writing the episode Memory Blank or at the very least, cutting a couple of the jokes. The base-premise is potentially interesting but it was definitely one of the ones where the show did characters dirty for the sake of jokes.

If I had to leave it mostly as-is, I would at least want to ditch the two random insert jokes where Danny "remembers" using his powers to peep in the girl's locker room. Not only is the base joke a gross, sexist "boys will be boys" gag, it also just feels really jarring and almost out of character for Danny in particular. That's not to say that Danny isn't canonically chauvinistic in other ways at times, but this one doesn't jive with how he reacts to similar situations (and behaviors from Tucker) in other, more character-centric episodes. The abrupt musical punctuation feels more like a sudden insert of Fairly Odd Parents humour and I would say it's probably only there because this kind of "adorkable misogynist" punchline is a common staple in both Butch Hartman and Steve Marmel's comedy styles.

Ideally though, since the main purpose of the episode is to give Danny his marketable DP insignia, I would rather do a full re-write around all three trio members actively trying to design a logo for Phantom. Rather than doing Danny and Tucker dirty by making them into boring butt-monkeys who live empty lives without Sam (and doing Sam dirty by making her seem like a weird stalker who changes Danny's suit without his knowledge or consent) we could have had an episode that let the icon have actual symbolic meaning for the whole of "Team Phantom". It's sad that one if the most iconic symbols of the show ends up being tacked onto a character assassinating goof-story when there were so many ways it could have been great.

🤔 Would you ever want to write something canon if you got the opportunity?

Going to go with a soft no on this one.

For one thing, I believe the best stories happen when someone has a specific story to tell, and at the moment my Deathly Weapons fanfic is the main story I feel the need to make exist. As a mystery nerd, I guess I could maybe do a decent detective story involving Batman or Gotham, but on the other hand I don't think it would be the kind of story Modern DC wants to sell.

From a practical point of view, I also think the things and stories I find the most fascinating within the Danny Phantom fandom would probably be too tonally serious to "fit with the brand" of official canon material. (Although it has been awesome to see some of the Phandom olds getting ascended to the level of official canon creators with the AGiT comics!)

As for Young Justice Animated I think I'm one of several fans who wouldn't mind being tagged-in (or at least a fly on the wall) if DC/Warner Bros ever decided to give it the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood treatment, kick Greg Weisman's Whedon-worshipping incel ass out the door and let some of the prominent staff who were dropped after Season 1 have a do-over to continue the story they were actually setting up. I think there was a lot of potential in that initial cast, and there were some really cool character-centric standalone episodes that could have come from things like digging into Artemis and Jade having a diegetic connection to Alice In Wonderland while living in the same city as Jervis "Mad Hatter" Tech. But as it stands, I found Weisman's multi-season vandalisation of his colleagues' work to be so egregious that I ended up blocking both the main series tag and his name for the sake of my blood pressure. Look, even when he's not writing like the kind of man who probably fantasises about impregnating his colleague's daughter, the Nostalgia-Critic-level incompetence at basic narrative coherence is just exhausting.

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

Many!

For today's tasting, I would like to recommend Developmental Milestones and the broader Cor Et Cerebrum series by @audreycritter. Actually, let's just make that a general rec' for all Audreycritter's DC stuff.

I really like their interpretations of the Batfam and Superfam. They do such a good job of capturing the humanity of these characters in their non-cape moments, and I love their approach to dialogue. I think it speaks volumes to the strength of their character-writing that, despite not being a reader who generally goes in for Original Characters, I have become deeply obsessed with their on-call OC Batdoctor Kiran "Dev" Devabhaktuni. He is indeed the light of my life. Developmental Milestones is Dev's focus story but plenty of others put the focus on the canon DC roster if you prefer.

Go enjoy seeing Bruce get yelled at by a deeply affronted, potty-mouthed British Doctor with a heart of gold, though he'll stringently deny it.

Thanks for playing!

[beatleswings]

So, this is long so I'm putting it under a read more. It's just going to be me rambling on about Don and Carmen.

I love Don x Carmen or CarDon as I call it. It is pretty much my Punch-Out!! OTP. And I really hate when they're portrayed as toxic, cheating on each other and while I mostly fault the devs on this one, I really dislike when some use Title Defense Don to make Carmen out to be a gold-digging bitch who dumps him for losing or her leaving him for another boxer. I much rather prefer Don and Carmen being a loving, supportive and happy couple and she still stays with him even after he loses to Mac. And though they, like any couple, have their hiccups, they still love each other. 

You have Don, who is this smug, cocky douche (but we love him anyway) and and a ladies’ man. Then there’s Carmen, who I headcanon to be a model, a fashionista, and who I also see as being sweet, kind, friendly, and empathetic who loves and supports her man. She is the sunshine to Don's grump. She is one of those people that brings out Don’s softer side. Carmen knows that underneath all that ego, there is the sweet, romantic Don she fell in love with. Also, Don naming a move after her, he mentions her during fights and even dedicates his fights to her? It's so WHOLESOME! And she goes to his matches to cheer him on. As for him being a ladies' man, Carmen is rather amused by the fangirls, who probably envy her for being with Don. She is all "I don't blame them. I'd be the same, too".

Title Defense Don, I just see him being upset over losing, not because he got dumped by Carmen for losing. Again this, I blame the devs for making it seem to be that way. Maybe Don is so used to being the Major Circuit champion and bragging about it and he’s just salty over being defeated by a teenager. It could be other things too like his image, losing some fans, what his family would think, etc. I like to think that maybe at first he thought all of that also meant losing Carmen too. But again, I don’t see Carmen dumping Don for losing. If anything, as I said, I see her still staying with him, still giving him support and even dressing goth along with him, being the fashion icons they are. Even if he loses again, there is Carmen to be his rock and to comfort him. She would also encourage him to keep going and not give up. She always reminds him that title or no title, he is still a champion in her book.

Also, can we talk about how CarDon has been pretty much a thing since the 1987 NES Punch-Out!! game? Yes, since 1987, Carmen was mentioned. It wasn't just Punch-Out!! Wii.

And there’s this chibi art of Don from the 1987 Punch-Out!! Japanese player guidebook that has him with a woman, believed to be Carmen. It could just be a random woman but who knows? With the small Carmen mention, this could possibly be her. Will only be posting the edited version since the OG is...let’s just say, VERY cursed.

Punch-Out!! Wii from 2009 has him mentioning Carmen a lot. Just like the chibi art, in Don’s Contender slideshow, it could be assumed the blonde in that awful dress (sorry I can’t defend that LMFAOOO) Don is offering the rose to is Carmen. The fandom has pretty much accepted that girl to be her but with a redesigned outfit or her in another outfit. I also admit I love seeing other people’s takes on Carmen and they're all gorgeous, LOVE ALL THE CARMENS! 🙌🏽

And here is Don's VA Juan Amador Pulido, briefly talking about the Carmen lines and referring to her as "Don's beloved". It's so flippin' cute how Juan was quick to mention that his wife is also named Carmen! It's amusing too because I headcanon Don's actual first name to be Juan, not just because his VA's name but Don looks like a Juan OK? LMAOOOO

With this, I am now going to declare Juan as the captain of the CarDon ship!

I also love the idea of Don and Carmen contrasting not just in personality but also in appearance like her being the pink to his red, her voice being much calm and soft and his being gruff, or when Don is in Title Defense, he dyes his hair black and Carmen, going goth in support, dyes her hair platinum blonde.

In short, I love and ship CarDon so much and I am happy when I see more love for them, for Carmen, and more content of them being happy, in love, and so sweet instead of the "they cheat on each other", "Carmen is a bitch because she dumps him", and other BS.

I will end my ramblings about my favorite biconic (yes, I headcanon them both as bi) Spanish rose couple.

[aruellelite]

That sounds like a fantastic resource! I see quite a few people who are, to put it bluntly, terrified there's a self-destruct button somewhere. Guided activities are a brilliant way to get people actually using their device and building their confidence with it.

We see a real range of abilities come through the doors, so sometimes we have to get really incredibly basic (a colleague discovered that double tapping the table loudly worked well to teach the correct rhythm), but we generally get people using the computers for three things; emails, printing, and Government Stuff (welfare, services, rebates, etc).

Most users have emails, primarily Gmail. A lot of people don't know what a browser is or how to navigate to websites; they'll try typing their email address into the address bar. Once they're in their account most people seem pretty confident, though some lose the buttons because of the layout differences - a lot of people primarily use their mobile devices.

Navigating windows and tabs is very confusing; people who need to download a document in order to upload it to a different site (e.g. application form) frequently struggle to understand where the page they were looking at has gone, particularly when a new tab opens automatically.

Losing track of the mouse is a common problem, and as our computers are locked down we cannot enable accessibility options to make it easier, only move them to the one 'accessible' computer and hope the settings on that work better for them.

Hilariously, one of the big things is that people are very impatient with technology, a lot of people don't recognise when something is loading or understand why it needs time to do so.

I've been creating an information resource; explaining various aspects of technology and trying to give people the knowledge they need to use their devices properly. For example, I find a lot of users don't know what the various symbols and icons are, to that end I've created a table of common symbols such as 'download', 'print', and 'wifi' to help them recognise the options they need, and a glossary to know what they do. I also discuss basic maintenance, email management, online shopping, bulk texting, and basically anything else my dad has ever asked me how to do. Next item on my agenda is actually showing people around the start menu and systems tray, which sounds like it would overlap with what you've been doing.

I do dig into privacy/digital safety quite a bit because it's a personal bugbear of mine how easy people make things for identity thieves, and I probably should dial things back a bit. But we do get a lot of users making careless errors like not logging out of accounts on public devices, and I do see people being taken in by scams quite a bit, unfortunately. So I've got a section laying out the different kinds of scams and things to watch out for, and showing people how to read urls and google results properly so they can protect themselves. It probably does get a bit advanced when I start talking about online shopping, but that's more advanced anyway and it's credit card information, I'm not letting that get sent out to random websites if I can help it.

For your internet activity book, I'd suggest covering tabs, downloads & uploads, email attachments, and logging out of accounts. I also made a little information superhighway diagram that you might find useful; I see a lot of confusion about the differences between google and the internet.

Oh, and definitely include a printing activity in your current book; some of the print options trip people up.

I am SUPREMELY interested in your internet activity book - I work at a library and am trying to make a similar resource myself. The Australian Government created a fantastic digital literacy resource website called Be Connected, but even though it has tutorials that go right down to 'this is a mouse' basics you do need a certain level of comprehension to access the site (also it doesn't go far enough on privacy imo) so I've been trying to patch the gaps and driving myself slightly insane with it bc there is just. so much.

If you're willing to share more I'd be thrilled to hear about it, and I would LOVE to pool resources if you're willing.

So what I'm basically doing is 11 activities to help people get familiar with a windows computer that they own. It assumes that the user has permissions to make changes to the desktop and install software, etc. The activities I'm writing up do include some browser activities (I walk people through creating a protonmail account and signing up for a password manager) but starts with things like "pin programs to your taskbar" and "create a folder on the desktop and rename it."

The stuff that I'm focusing on is things like "save a QR code in paint to print it out because you don't have a smartphone and can't return this item otherwise" and "learn how to find where files are on your computer." This is mostly supposed to be a way for someone to feel like they're being supervised and are doing safe activities as they learn to get comfortable with simply handling the various input devices and navigating the desktop.

So I don't go in-depth on security because that's not the purpose of this resource specifically, and security can, unfortunately, be something of an advanced topic.

What I would love to know is what in-browser things people tend to struggle with because it's likely that you are seeing people who can't install software on the computers they are using and can't store data on the computers long-term, so they have a very different relationship to your computers than they would to their own. What do people at the library struggle with on library computers? What are the things that they come in to do? Do people use your computers more for going on the internet or for things like printing? Do most of the people who come in to use library computers have email addresses? Because I would very much like to create a similar activity book for using the internet regardless of browser or operating system.

[vryfmi]

POSTER ANALYSIS BECAUSE MY BRAIN REFUSES TO BELIEVE LOCKWOOD&CO IS ACTUALLY BECOMING A REAL TV SHOW

beware: a long post

- SKULL IS HERE SKULL IS HERE SKULL IS HERE honestly, after "the Golden Blade" character that really threw me off it's good to see this iconic bastard appear on screen. low key sad it's not pulling any faces (yet)

- “Hunt or be Haunted”. this one really took me by surprise. the change of tagline suggests that our smallest agency in London and their business is no longer the only focus of the story. it gives more of a feel of survival story rather then underdogs type of story tho. we'll see where it goes

- the logo is growing on me, it still looks too polished to me, compared to any of book logos which were, well, logos, and here it's just font. but it goes nicely with brutalism aesthetic, sPEAKING OF WHICH-

- yall see this? they are actually going with brutalism for their world?? not a sugar-coated London with beautiful scenery of old european city?? thank you l&co crew i love you for doing your hw.

<...> For a while any object even dimly supposed to have some kind of psychic residue was treated with terror and disgust. Items of old furniture were burned, and random antiques smashed or thrown into the Thames. A priceless painting in the National Portrait Gallery was hurled to the floor and trampled on by a vicar, ‘because it looked at me in a funny way’. Anything with a strong connection to the past was considered suspect, and a cult of modern objects grew up, which remains with us even now. <...>

there's nothing good in what past holds in their world. people are paranoid because no one knows where new outbreak will happen. of course there are blocks of concrete for flats, of course it's cold, of course it's surreal to see London like this. it's alternative London.

- i love these ghost lamps, they are my new fixation. they are so big and so out of place. obsessed even. ufo looking. my love. ghost lamp my beloved

- rapiers, you love to see those

everyone has a unique hilt. im so normal

- last but not least: composition. i think it ties nicely back to tagline change since, yes, it would be nice to see idk Portland Row being shown. but no, characters are in the middle of empty street, looking at something that we can't see. they are agents after all - seeing things outside regular person's comprehension is their thing. they are distressed but got their rapiers at ready. sky is getting dark, ghost lamp (my beloved) is on, quiet city is cowardly seen underneath. f i t t i e s i s b e h i n d e v e r y t h i n g

NOW ON TO THE CHARACTERS

they are all so awkward looking, my divvies

- SKULL my man got a nice looking prison, i like the handle, it's handy. now i see why Lucy will struggle while breaking this jar with poop statue. now waiting for his cast announcement :/

- Lucy got the biggest wardrobe update, kinda digging it. definitely more practical, but it's sad to see heavy boots go. but now everyone is much quicker on their feet, especially after seeing how fast these ghosts are. ARE THOSE FLARES ON HER BELT

- not to be that person, but Cameron was born for this role. really aching to seeing more of his acting and his way of bringing Lockwood on the big screen. also thank lord he's wearing trainers. he already has a safety hazard coat, if there was one more formal piece of clothing he’d died on spot- wait he still has a tie- credit goes to @lucyjcarlyle for pointing out Lockwood's ring, can't wait to find out it is a family relic and die inside

- George by Ali actually feels like George, right? baggy clothes, bag that weights him, something about his posture - all those things add to recognition of character despite differentiating from books’ description. it’s sad we didn’t get to see him in teaser

- and they all look relatively young! like this thumbnail really captures it

also, im not the only one who sees the iconic @doodlingraka's colour palette everywhere, right? because i dig it and i want more

in conclusion: it doesn’t look perfect, lets be honest here, but Cornish’s interview puts it all together in a perspective. this show is a love letter to horror movies of last century. they were clumsy, too, but they knew how to scare its viewer in a smart way. and that’s what books did, now it’s time to pay a tribute. at least i want to believe so

[aressss1]

Home

(Technoblade x Reader)

Read me on AO3!

You are on a journey. But what if your journey goes differently from what you planned? You wanted loot but you found yourself a mate for life... Oops.

~~~~~~

Sweat dripped down your face, as you trudged through the nether. How any living being could live here was beyond you.  Your boots tore through the netherack, as you traveled. The heat was becoming unbearable, and the water in your canteen dried up as soon as you entered this place. As much as you hated the nether… It was a necessity to travel through, to get to the ever-elusive woodland mansion.

 You had only ever heard of the mansion, through random whispers, so you decided to buy a map from one of the villagers. Though… Traveling through the nether was difficult for you, and you were starting to run out of obsidian. Making portals to the overworld, only to find that you weren’t even close to your destination.

 Sighing, you place down your nether portal, lighting it. You took a peek at the hellish scenery behind you, and you step through, vowing that the first water source you saw would be dry after you got a hold on it. When you opened your eyes, you felt relief at the cool breeze on your skin. You stepped out of the portal, your eyes landing on a lake just a few feet ahead of you. Needless to say, you drank as much water as you could without getting sick, before you went on your merry way through the birch forest you found yourself in. You walked hours, not really wanting to go back into the nether but at this point… The map in your hand still didn’t make sense to you. You followed that magic icon on your map, but it never seemed to budge.

Sighing, you take out your obsidian once more, recreating the portal and lighting it. When you stepped into the portal you walked into the blue forest on the other side. You cursed at your surroundings, while the forests were very pretty… They just slowed you down with how dense some of them were. Enemies could use it to their advantage too. You tightened your bag around your shoulder and walked forward, boots digging into the warped nylium.

 You were cautious, hand twitching for your bow and arrow, at any and all sounds around you. Cutting the warped wart in your path you found yourself in a small clearing. It made you hesitate, but you didn’t see anything to be worried about, so your shrugged and kept moving. Making your way to the other side of the clearing you pulled your sword out to cut at the wart in your path. Well… You didn’t get far. The sound of a crossbow string being pulled back, hit your ears and you whirled around.

 Another… Human…? No… Not a human. But something in between that of a piglin and a human. Tangled long pink hair spilled down his shoulders, a golden crown adorned the top of his head. A tattered red piece of fabric pooled to the ground. He wore the garb of a piglin brute, and you could see the golden axe hang at his back. His golden eyes pierced through you, daring you to make any type of movement. You didn’t hesitate, you pulled your bow forth notching your arrow, and pulling back the string.

 It was only a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. The two of you stared each other down, through your weapons. Hearts pounding, you felt your shoulders rise and fall, your hand shook where he was calm. He finally spoke, and you didn’t understand him.

 Unbeknownst to you, the thing that caught his eye… Was the golden ring on your index finger, glinting at him. ‘Friend?’ He thought lowering his crossbow, you didn’t do the same. He could see you were scared, and he approached you slowly. Even if you yelled things at him that he couldn’t understand. He didn’t care, a measly arrow wouldn’t hurt him, not after all the fights with the other brutes he’d had to become their ruler. Hell, he didn’t even think you could hit him with how bad you were shaking.

 He reached out, pushing your bow down, as a way to show he was peaceful. You backed up into one of the trees, as your bow and arrow slipped from your hands. He knew you weren’t of his kind. But to submit so freely? He felt pity for you. You tried pushing away from him when he got too close, but he caught your hand with the ring on it. He fiddled with the tiny ring, almost enthralled with it. You felt his calloused hand cover yours and you could feel the heat rise up to your cheeks.

 “D-do you want it?” You said it to get him away from you, to appease him. “You can have i-it.” You grabbed the ring off your finger and held it out for him. “Here…” He looked back and forth between you and the ring, before he spoke again… He sounded as if he said, ‘For me?’, which caused you to nod your head at him…

 “Mate…”  It was really unfortunate that you couldn’t understand netherspeak… Because as soon as he fit the tiny ring on his pinky finger… It was sealed. The two of you were bound together forever… at least in the piglin world, and piglin’s never left their other half. After he was done studying the ring on his pinky, he got down on one knee, grabbing your hand pressing his lips to the back of your hand. You let out a squeak turning a shade darker before you bowed your head saying your goodbyes to him.

 What you didn’t think would happen was… that he would start following you… Wherever you went… You let out a sigh for the umpteenth time. He followed you like a puppy, but you couldn’t keep him. You had no idea what he said to you, he kept calling you something, it was a word you couldn’t pronounce yourself. To him you were his mate, and he would follow you anywhere.

 You found yourself panting before too long, the heat was starting to get to you again. You had to sit for a minute, and he sat with you, watching you pant, and rub the sweat from your face. You tried to fan yourself as your eyes finally settled on him. He seemed concerned for you, speaking his own language. Calling you his wife once more.

 “Why do you keep calling me that? What does it mean?” You said it more to yourself than to him, you sighed, “You can call me by my name…” You went through the motions with him teaching your name. He seemed to catch on quickly. He tried doing the same with you.

 “Technoblade?” You knew you were butchering it, but that’s what his name sounded like in Netherspeak to you. You just couldn’t get his name right. You opted to just keep calling him Techno. He seemed to have an easier time understanding you, learning from you. You pulled out a book from your bag, teaching him how to read your language, it was an old mythology book you had looted from a mineshaft a while back. It was a good thing to have if you were bored. You watched in awe as he seemed to grasp everything you were teaching him. He turned to a random page in the book.

 “”Persephone has eaten the fruit of the Underworld,” Hades said coolly, “she must return and rule it with me.”” You marveled at him, while he made some mistakes, that you helped him with, in reading, he really was a natural. When he didn’t know a word he asked you, to help, and he would relish in how close you got to him when you needed to lean over and read the word in the book.

 “Here Techno, you can keep this.” You said it slowly, “You can remember me every time you read from it.” He held the book close to his heart.

 “…” He watched you get up and dust yourself off. You waved your hand at him, and that caused him to get up himself, and follow you. You put your hand on his chest.

 “You have to stay Techno…” You tried reassuring him, he grabbed your hand at his chest his grip tightening on you. “I have to keep going.”

 “Stay.” His deep voice rumbled out, and his eyes pleaded with you. You weren’t sure you liked hearing him reply back in your own language… It made things harder now.

 “I can’t…” You whispered pulling your hand from his. You couldn’t bear this anymore. You made another portal on the spot; your lack of obsidian be damned, and you lit the portal. Techno growled throwing himself in between you and the portal, his golden axe at the ready. Was he… Protecting you from the portal? A few awkward seconds passed, and nothing happened, and you walked around him putting a hand on the portal. “Techno… This is my way home.”

 “Home?” You nodded explaining it to him. It took a few tries until he got it. “Home.” His hand landed on your shoulder. You shook your head, still not getting the fact that he had claimed you as his mate.

 “Your home is here Techno. I am not your home.” You stepped into the portal, and you gave him a pitiful look as he reached toward you. Hoping he wouldn’t follow, you disappeared through the portal in front of him. He panicked looking everywhere for you. His mate had suddenly vanished, and he hesitantly touched the purple substance in the portal, his hand going through. He stepped forward as you had. It was a rush, emotions hitting him all at once he fell into the overworld, his arms hitting the ground. Nausea hit him all at once, and he looked around at the foreign world before him, the world spun around him.

 “Oh gods… Techno.” He felt relief at your voice. You worried for him, usually when piglins left the nether, they zombified… You put your hand on his back, as you kneeled next to him. You didn’t want him to turn in to a zombie…

 Techno was fighting to keep consciousness; bile rose to the back of his throat and his mind started filling with voices. They were so loud… Why were they so loud? They spoke to him in netherspeak. Were these the voices of piglins who had already met their fate? Did you hear these voices too? His body burned in the sunlight, not to an extreme extent but it felt hotter than all those years in the nether. He could pick your voice out through the voices filling up his mind. His head hurt and he finally collapsed on the ground. You really didn’t know what to do. He reached for you.

 “Mate…” He weakly sputtered out reaching for your hand. You stood from him, as he passed out, disbelief lining your features. What did he say to you? You stepped away from him, turning from him. You didn’t make it five steps before you stopped to look back at him… You couldn’t just leave him there… You didn’t have the heart to.

 So… You pulled him to a shady area, and you watched over him. Relief flooded over you as you felt his pulse. He was well past the time of becoming zombified, at least for a normal piglin, could hybrids zombify? You had no idea. You just sat with him for hours, until he woke up.

 When his eyes cracked open you gave out a sigh of relief. He pulled you to him wrapping you in his arms as he warily looked around the two of you. It had gotten dark, so you set up camp for the night, building a fire for the both of you. You were in the middle of cooking baked potatoes for the two of you.

 “Home?” He asked, his chin resting on your head. You hesitated… Remembering how he had called you home earlier. Now you knew what he meant.

 “Not exactly.” You pushed yourself off of him, your eyes looking anywhere but him. “I’m far away from my home.” He seemed to process your words… He could understand you better, but only because a voice in the back of his mind translated your words to him…

 He just sat and watched you for a while, as you poked at the potatoes on the fire. He was curious, the food smelled delicious to him. It was then when you held out a potato for him to take, did he get to taste the cooked vegetable, let’s just say… He loved it. The expression on his face made you chuckle, and you offered yours up to him, after you put more potatoes on the fire. He wasn’t done with his own potato.

 “Take mine.” You offered to him. “I’ve got more coming.”

 “Eat.” His voice got serious. “Mate, eats first.”

 “Techno…” You sigh, “Why are you calling me your mate?” You looked in his golden eyes that softened every time they looked at you.

 “Gold,” He held his pinky finger up in the air showing the ring you had given to him. “Rit-ual,” He looked as if he was listening to someone, and they were telling him what to say. You were stunned at his words… Because you gave him gold… You were now his mate… The thought made your head spin.

 “Okay…” You didn’t know what to do at this point. Maybe you should have just left him? Maybe you wouldn’t be in this predicament. “If I hadn’t given you that ring, would you have killed me?” He looked away in thought.

 “Yes.” The thought of it made your heart sink. “I will pr-otect you always.” You couldn’t help the flutter in your chest… He had already gone this far for you… Leaving the nether was a huge risk and he was lucky he was hybrid, or he would have been a zombie.

 “What happens when a piglin loses their mate?” You asked. “Like if they die?” It took Techno a second to respond.

 “We join them.” He said it so casually, you bit your lip. “Nothing will happen.” His words brought a smile to your face.

 “Technoblade never dies eh?” You joked with him, and he nods.

 “Technoblade never dies.” He loved your name for him, and he would cherish it forever.

 ~~

 Technoblade didn’t know what he was doing wrong. He wanted so badly to give you the affection you deserved, but you shut him down almost immediately. He gave you the things you wanted, pretty ‘flowers’ as you called them. He made sure you were taken care of. He studied your reactions, and while you were resistant to his affections… He knew that he had an affect on you. He could read it on your face, or even smell when he aroused you. But you were still resisting him. He hated it.

 He continued trying to please you, and you were too wrapped up in the mansion to notice. It wasn’t like you ignored him, quite the opposite really… You just didn’t want to reciprocate feelings, at least not yet. But you loved teaching him what things were, teaching him how to speak properly. He listened to every word you taught him. You loved brushing through his pink tresses as well.

 The voices were immensely helpful at times, even if they were annoying. Telling him what to say and reminding him what things were when he couldn’t remember. But… They started calling for blood. They were aggressive… And he took his aggressions out when he hunted for meat, which helped, but his bloodlust always came back. He feared they would turn on you next.

 He followed you blindly, days turned into weeks and the end of your journey came. The two of you stood in front of the mansion. After all that time… You were now standing in front of the mansion. You were going to burn it to the ground after you were done. The two of you went through that mansion, killing enemies left and right. Well… Mostly Technoblade. You sat there on the top floor of the mansion as you watched him go ham.

 He was the most graceful fighter you had ever seen. He had grown on you, and you found yourself thinking about him more and more. You wanted to be with him, and in that moment, everything clicked for you. Taking down that mansion went quickly. You had gotten a few totems and you realized that… You didn’t even want the loot anymore. You wanted Techno. When the two of you searched the place through and through you lit it all on fire. The two of you stayed to watch it burn.

 “What do we do next?” Techno asked his golden eyes flicking to you.

 “We go home.”

 “Home?”

 “Yup.” You turned toward him, a blush spreading on your cheeks. “You’re my home now Techno.” You hoped to get loot from this trip, but as it turns out, that wasn’t the important part of this whole journey. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, stepping on your tip toes to boost yourself up. You pressed your lips to his, eyes fluttering closed as you felt his arms wrap around your waist to pull you flush up against him.

 This world was foreign to Techno, but kissing you felt like the most natural thing to him. You were his, and he was yours. No matter where you went, he would follow. He loved you, loved how you taught him things, loved how you brushed through his hair every morning. You set him free. Free from the fiery gates of hell as you put it.

 He wanted to explore this world with you. Even as you pulled back from him, he savored in the fact that you never pulled away from him. Not even as the two of you found yourself wrapped in each other’s arms for the night. It felt right. This world was where he was supposed to be because you were here. He was home.

[shotorozu]

BABE , i saw a hc ( i think it was urs) where the boys’s s/o was really fashionable, ( as somebody that’s gone viral on pinterest a little too many times ) I WAS WONDERING , what if you did a todobakudeku ( separately please omg) with somebody that’s like the emma chamberlain of fashion and they own everybody’s pinterest boards and stuff AHAHA IDK , the amount of times somebody has said ‘ wait ur that one pinterest girl right?? ‘ ANYWHAHEEIE I LOVE YOU N HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! 💗💗

pinterest famous s/o

character(s) : midoriya izuku, bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] afab! reader, they/them pronouns (at the request of anon) strong quirk hinted; not specific

headcanon type : fluff, crack-ish (x reader)

note(s) : thank you anon!! so ok, i still used they/them pronouns even though the reader is afab (again at the request of anon) and whdjwkd sorry for the inactivity :,) also im gonna post more later so— sorry for the delay

»»————-　♡　————-««

midoriya izuku

when middle school midoriya finally got a phone, he downloaded pinterest for the sole purpose of looking at screencaps of heroes

but then, he hasn’t touched it a few months, because he’s been training with all might

then, when he finally had enough free time again— he decided to go on pinterest

but instead of finding any heroes he could look at, he found the prettiest human being he has ever seen in his entire life 💀

that person was a different type of beauty, y’know— they weren’t just fashionable, but their beauty was,,

timeless? that’s how he’d describe it. yeah. that person lived in his head rent free for a while

sadly, he feels like you’re that person he sees once in his life, and never again 😔　which isn’t the case

when he finally meets you, midoriya realizes that you look VERY familiar— someone on pinterest, that he unfortunately, didn’t know the name of

but then wait! he realizes that you’re that person. that one person that blew up on pinterest, and ended up in all of the fashion boards.

okay, you’ve been recognized a few times in the past, just because you were pinterest famous— but you didn’t expect him to recognize you

“wait,, you know me?” you asked him when you saw the realization sink in

and you were honestly,, flattered when he went on a tangent on how you were on all of the pinterest boards, and how your sense of fashion was timeless

but you know what’s the best thing of it all? when izuku developed a crush on you (and not because he thought you were just an attractive face)

it was very easy to find pictures of you online! he says it’s for research but,, he tends to look at them for a long time

probably has 3-4 pages dedicated to your hero costume— since fashion icon = fashionable, yet a very practical hero costume!

does he get jealous whenever people fawn over your looks, or whenever he sees comments in pinterest comment sections just asking for your socials in such desperation?

hmm,, yes? he does occasionally feel like someone like you, should be with someone as equally beautiful as you

he thought he was always plain looking, but you wholeheartedly disagree! in fact, you fell in love with his ability to pay attention to detail.

to the random creeps in the comments section, he just contacts the uploader and asks them to delete any malicious comments and it works 100% of them time.

on the brighter side, he helps a lot with taking your pictures (if you ask him to) and sometimes! he’ll even appear in them

izuku will always be your #1 fan!

bakugou katsuki

at first, you’d be like “katsuki owning pinterest? naaah.” but! i think he would

being an all might fan, he liked looking at all might screen caps— and while katsuki would be on the discreet side, he’d find himself looking at them whenever he has extra minutes to burn

not to mention, the cooking recipes on there aren’t the worst, so he doesn’t just use pinterest to look at screen caps of heroes doing their work

and, how could he forget that you’ve been bugging him to search for rare screen caps? he says that it’s useless— but he finds himself digging for you anyway,

which is whyyy

he finds an entirely different rabbit hole, and it’s way past 10pm, 3 more minutes wouldn’t wound him.

the blond doesn’t know how he even stumbled on.. this side of pinterest. the one that kind of hurts his eyes.

the more well known side of pinterest, that is covered in pictures of fashion boards, and the standard pretty person.

the ‘aesthetic’ side, kaminari calls it— it makes bakugou cringe, and he was just about to refresh his page

when he spots something familiar, it’s you‼️ well it wasn’t just you but, you were dressed in something,, nice.

like sure! you’re attractive. but that’s not why he’s dating you, there’s a lot of reasons as to why

but, he’s baffled. seeing you in a different light, and in such nice clothing, what more, when he sees that you’re actually everywhere. he hasn’t seen this much of you and your attractive ass before

katsuki told himself that he was going to sleep a few minutes ago, but now? he’s left admiring all of your pictures.

how did he not know that his s/o’s pinterest famous? you’re practically in every single board!

he confronts you the next day in an oddly weird manner, “you didn’t tell me you were famous on that stupid pinterest app.”

you’re sheepish, “welll, i didn’t know that you were going to stumble on that side of pinterest!”

he doesn’t say anything, and really! it looks like he doesn’t care about the newest discovery of his s/o

but he shows his feelings in his own way.

like, how katsuki insists that he finds a new outfit that you’d absolutely love— one that’ll fit with your aesthetic

and that he insists that he does your graphic liner, because you’re going to ‘poke your eyes out’

makes an entirely different account to reply to those simps and creeps in the comment section, sort of like

random pinterest user : “the things i’ll do to be crushed by them 💦”

pinterestuser461903 : “go touch some fucking grass.”

also would’ve commented “your art sucks” at the poorly done drawings of you in the comments, but knows you appreciated the art— so he doesn’t

(still thinks the fanart doesn’t do you enough justice)

he’ll be super proud when someone notices you in person like “yeah that’s fucking right, but too bad they’re super attractive and way out of your league.”

in short, it looks like katsuki doesn’t care at all about your pinterest famous life, but he’s your #1 supporter

todoroki shouto

i am certain for this one— he doesn’t have pinterest

well, he didn’t have pinterest, until midoriya convinced him to create an account, but it kinda just ended at that

but the person that actually made him use pinterest was sero, because he kept bugging him to give it a try

todoroki finds the app very practical— he can find screen caps of heroes in action, and he can also find oddly helpful tips in cooking (and in anything)

but sero was like “todoroki, what about the aesthetic value??” and todoroki didn’t really get that part to be honest 💀

todoroki, being clueless didn’t know what to search for— so sero being the wonderful friend he is, helped him search for it

and that’s when it happened. it didn’t take that long, but they eventually found an entire section just full of pictures of you; their classmate and crush

“is that Y/N?” mina notices what they’re looking at, and she observes the picture “oh wow— it is her! no wonder why she looked familiar.”

“it’s impressive! our classmate is pinterest famous!” they continue to look at every single post in each board, and todoroki’s left to observe in silence

he has definitely taken a liking to you, even if he didn’t realize it at first— he liked you because of your hard work when it came to training, personality and patience, not because of your looks

obviously, todoroki thinks that you look good in anything, trashbag style or not. but seeing you in this light was interesting.

so after training, todoroki would spent a good portion of his time scavenging for more pictures— not because he was obsessed or anything

but because,, he really liked your pictures. maybe it was because without you in those pictures, it would feel incomplete

he didn’t know how to approach you after this discovery, which is why he’s glad that you approached him first

“todoroki! what are you looking at?” you took a peak at his screen, and you’re baffled to see yourself, and that very famous picture of you

he’s quiet for a second when he realizes that you’ve caught him staring at your pictures, but he explains calmly, “sero accidentally discovered your pictures,, and i just wanted to take a peak at them, if it was okay,,”

and he’s relieved— well, you’re also relieved. you didn’t know how your crush would react if he ever saw those pictures, but your heart skipped a beat knowing that he enjoyed looking at them

“it’s alright todoroki,” you smile, honestly over the moon as you spoke “i’m really glad that you like them.”

sometimes you’d get shy whenever he’d go on pinterest just to look at your pictures, “todoroki, not that one! that one was really old,,” is what you’d say whenever he’d look at your older photos but he’d still look at them anyway 💀

at first, todoroki helped you in his own subtle way. since he’s quite the fashion icon— he’d recommend you clothes to wear for future pictures

he eventually confessed— and it was because you were talking to him while he was really tired, and he blurted out that he really, really liked you and you almost passed away because of his words

so yeah— it was a case of secretly admiring their beautiful best friend to lovers scenario

he’d go the full mile when it came to taking your pictures. he’d check the weather forecast just in case if it was going to rain for that date, and impromptu picnic photoshoot

that boyfriend that has pictures of you in his photo gallery, and has a backstory for each photo if anyone were to ask

also that boyfriend that knows how to take pictures, will probably even lay down to take them, even if you didn’t kindly ask him to

when you asked him to join the picture, he didn’t really know how to— but he made it work! and the both of you guys went viral

but this isn’t all one sided, no— whenever you guys would cuddle, shouto would simply stare at you with HEARTS in his eyes,

and even before he leans in for a kiss, he’ll stare at you with so much love in his eyes, while he traces his thumb across your cheekbones. man’s in love— you’re gorgeous.

he knows that you know that he’s not with you because of any ulterior motive, you both have mutual trust in each other— so it’s not something you guys will bother on questioning because you’re both hot asf lets be real

he’s not uncomfortable whenever people gawk at you in public— i mean, you two get stares on the regular. and how could they not stare at you? you’re very attractive, and he’s glad that people recognize that

but he’ll get protective if they’ll try to be a threat to your loving relationship with him, he won’t be afraid to be blunt

regarding the comments on each pinterest post— he hates it when people say things out of the line

always tries to hide them from you so you don’t feel bothered by them, but if you knew about them— he’ll be sad :,(

but he’ll end up mass reporting those nasty comments— and they always get taken down, because of the shouto todoroki luck

in short? man’s whipped, and the both of you guys are SO attractive together— what more if people knew about the om chemistry?

really— you being pinterest famous was just a nice plus, he fell in love with you for you

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[somewhereinthepines]

Random thought, what kind of clothes does Chris wear outside of camp? The other week when I was playing the game I got to the bit where Dylan is poking around Chris's private rooms. It was hard to see the clothes on the hangers properly because the lighting was kind of dingy. So I wondered what you thought Chris would wear on a regular day. I was thinking he's maybe not fashionable, which makes sense, because of Dylan's "fashion icon" comment while snooping. I did catch a glimpse of what looked like black trousers maybe and some kind of beige or yellow top? Which were mix match looking garments to see there. I did see he had a brown jacket in his office hanging off one of the hooks too. Then theres the picture of him with his kids, blue hoodie. It got me thinking about Ryan seeing him wearing something other than his uniform. What kind of pjs does he have, and are they just boxers or maybe those "dad" kind of pjs yk? Either way, I think Ryan would low-key eat up that vision of him (based on your fics).

Ahh imagine, early mornings, grumpy Chris out of bed with a bed head trying to take some of his pills in the bathroom. Ryan sleepily stumbling in behind him, watching him through the cabinet mirror, clinging to him from around his middle. Chris feeling agitated that morning (needs his coffee fix), but a little less so with Ryan's smell there. Knowing what he's waiting for but too shy to ask for. Morning kiss(es), which he would indulge him with, since Ryan doesn't give two shits about morning breath apparently (he wants his kisses, owed them, pay up old man, haha). Omg imagine if Chris managed to convince him to try wearing pj shorts to bed? I remember in ASB chapter 4, he liked that Ryan was wearing sports shorts. Imagine the kinds of excuses Chris could come up with "It's hot out, you don't want to over heat, do ya?" Sorry for the rambling of imagines there, they're fun to think about, haha.

i agree, he’s prob not very imaginative in that regard. i think, that his most ‘badass’ outfit will be some flannel shirt, jeans and cowboy boots lol. chris doesn’t strike me as a guy, who cares too deeply about his appearance. fully agree on that one. and like, he came from a ‘hillbilly’ (as laura put it) working family. they were implied to be wealthy at some point, but seemingly less so now. and chris most likely worked, since he was young (odd jobs and such), so he would be more practical in that sense, vs fashionable. tho he totally has some corny t-shirt or a baseball cap with some ‘dad joke’ on it. smth straight from the gift shop. a thing, that his kids always make fun of, but ryan is oddly gentle about. and oh, part of me wants to say it would totally be a ‘dad’ kind pjs, but i picture that chris got sort of ‘lazy’ about it, and just sleeps in boxers and shirt. we don’t have a lot of background on his private habits, but with time, i imagine, that chris’s mental health got worse and worse, so even putting on a proper pjs feels like a chore. an unnecessary thing to put up with. his routine rituals got more ‘simple’, and the faster he can get from one clothes into another, the better. but if ryan or his children had brought him a new set of pjs, he would have made sure to wear it to sleep everytime lol. and sure enough, ryan would have been very invested in seeing mister h wearing smth different for once. it would make a bit of a striking difference between what chris picks to wear at work and outside of it. another bit of personal info, that ryan is so hungry about. and it doesn’t even matter, if chris’s choices would have been ‘plain’ lol. like most southern dudes are indeed far from being fashion icons, haha. ryan will have to dress ‘cool’ for both of them. 

daww, ryan persistently wanting attention from chris in the morning is hella cute, esp bc he can distract chris from doing anything else. just ryan lol. and yeah, he wouldn’t really care if the morning kiss would taste like mint or not. he’s prob digs chris’s natural taste, more than mint even. and chris must have some extra taste buds, so him being hang up on kissing ryan without any other ‘fake’ flavor is very much on the table too. also funny enough, i think, that ryan would attempt to make chris coffee a few times (if he wakes up first), but it would be a hella awful one. chris would naturally endure, and drink it anyways. being like yeah, good stuff, all while slightly cringing and masking it into a smile. but ryan making awful coffee is one of those weird lil hcs, that i have lol. the kid doesn’t drink coffee himself, so he doesn’t really know how to make it properly. 

oh, the shorts. dang. if only ryan knew how much power those things hold over chris hackett, haha. if only he knew, that wearing shorts would be enough to break the camel’s back. and man, yeah, haha. it’s beyond hilarious imagining chris attempting to justify his request. all while ryan be uhhhhh wut. chris would go far and beyond just to not ask him about it openly. instead, he would hope, that ryan will either do it and don’t think about it too much. or will actually catch on and do it just to tease him. i picture, that ryan’s own pjs might be actually a pair of shorts and a long, oversized t-shirt. prob long enough to cover most of the shorts, and it’s only more oblivious that he wears them, when he stretches and t-shirt rides up. chris will be a sweaty mess from just glimpsing it once tho, haha.

and no worries! i love when you share ideas/visions! or ask questions. it's always engaging. and it’s indeed fun to think about them!

[kim-seungmine]

moonlit

title: moonlit

characters: fem!reader x lee minho (lee know) of stray kids feat. bang chan, kim seungmin, hwang hyunjin, kid!yang jeongin

genres: exes to lovers au, romance, angst, based on eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, chan’s one sided love if you squint real hard, bff!seungjin.

warnings: cursing, mentions of drinking and food, mentions of insecurity/emptiness, minho is lowkey a flirt (and smooth af), this one is WORDY, sometimes nonlinear (flashbacks marked in italics, phase 2 completely happens in the past), lots of inner conflicts, watch me repeat the same words again and again.

word count: 14k

synopsis: after a nasty breakup, you have lee minho clinically erased from your mind... only to be reminded that while memories can be erased and forgotten, feelings will always demand to be felt.  

Phase 1: Awakening

You clamp your shaking legs together, desperately trying to look like you’ve got it all together. The carton box on your lap feels heavier with each passing second as you wait for your name to be called. When the receptionist finally tells you to enter the consulting room, your head is full of him. His laugh, his voice, his touches, his smile, his empty promises, his lies, his last words…

This is why you’re doing this. You want him gone.

“Miss Y/N, please have a seat.” The doctor, Seo Changbin, motions at you to sit at the back of the room. A nurse places a tripod in front of you, setting the camera so it will capture your whole body. “Your sessions will be recorded, and we will keep all the recordings as archive. These recordings are confidential unless they’re needed for national security purposes. And, of course, if you wish to get your memories back in the future.”

Dr. Seo smiles, the calming tone in his voice doesn’t match the weight of his words. “You… you can restore the memories back?”

“I can’t,” he answers. “Patients are usually able to remember some past memories when triggered. And at least you will be reminded of why you want to do the erasure procedure in the first place. There are a lot of patients who regret doing this, and the last thing we want is to get sued because people make the wrong choices for themselves. I’m sure you have already read that part on the consent form.”

Great, you’re going to stop him from messing with your head by letting strangers literally damaging your brain.

“I won’t sue you. Let’s get this over with.”

“Sure.” Dr. Seo points at the camera. “Now, tell us everything, starting with who you want to erase.”

You grip your box tighter, as if to check if all the things inside still cause you pain no matter how many times you’ve seen them. You could have done this the normal way—crying, cutting your hair, even turning to God for help.

The thing is, one of these days the pain is going to swallow you up, and then you’ll be left with nothing. Nothing but an empty shell.

You should have been able to do this the normal way, but you’re too weak. Can’t you be weak for once? You can, right?

Clearing your throat, you stare at the lens. “Lee Minho.”

“Lee Minho,” you repeat. Louder. Clearer. “I’d like to erase Lee Minho.”

Chan finishes his beer in one gulp while you’re still struggling to open yours. It’s a shame, really—you drink almost every week, he drinks twice a year. He tosses the now empty can to the trashcan before opening another with ease, handing it to you. Mumbling a quiet thank you, you take a sip and watch him tear a pack of dried squids open.

“You’ll never go to those parties again,” he says. “I didn’t know my parents invited you because of that.”

You shake your head. “It’s fine. They meant well.”

He pulls his hair in frustration. “I can’t believe they said that in front of everyone! You must’ve been so shocked. I’m sorry.”

You grimace, the unwanted attention was indeed quite embarrassing. Enough to make you politely reject the next time Chan’s parents invite you to another gala. Mr. and Mrs. Bang have always been supportive of their eldest son, letting Chan started his own business instead of taking over the family business. Chan’s mother had called you a few days prior, asking you to accompany her son since it would be a good opportunity to “build connection and expand your business.”

You and Chan did exactly that, so it wasn’t like they were lying. But Chan’s parents also used the opportunity to try to convince the two of you that you’re match made in heaven.  

“Can we drop this?” You glance at your watch, stretching your limbs before rising from your seat. The traffic light turns red and you signal at your best friend to walk faster. “I keep getting flashbacks of CEO Kang’s son laughing at us.

Chan follows suit, placing his hand at the small of your back before crossing the street. You let out a relieved sigh when you reach the warm subway station. “Kang Younghyun has more embarrassing incidents than ours combined,” he scoffs. “This is nothing compared high school. No worries.”

“You sure you don’t want me to take you home?” he asks as you train is arriving. “I should’ve brought the car instead of letting my parents drive us to the party.”

You click your tongue at him. “Then you’ll miss the last train.”

“I can take a cab home. You always fall sleep on the train it’s giving me headache!”

“Bang Chan.”

The train stops and opens its doors. “Fine,” he mumbles. “Just don’t fall asleep.”

“No promises!” you tease, stepping into the train a second before it closes. You wave at Chan until he disappears into a small dot before choosing the seat beside the door. The train is almost empty; standing near the door is a high school student listening to an online lecture and sitting across you is…. the most attractive man you’ve ever seen in your life. He meets your eyes for a second before shifting his attention back to his phone again, leaving you slightly disappointed.

You despise socializing at parties but you want the Hottest Man Alive to talk to you? Y/N you’re so pathetic.

The sight of a bundle of name cards inside your purse is what gives you a reality check, various names and faces are popping up in your mind. Only now you feel how exhausted you are, parties and talking to a bunch of strangers have never been your thing. You take your platform heels off just as the train makes its stop, one of them almost hitting Hottest Man Alive as a result.

Apparently God has decided to make you the embarrassment icon of the day.

“I’m so sorry!” you panic, about to reach your flying heel when he stands up and picks it up. He silently places it in front of you before pulling out a card out of his pocket.

“It’s okay, just check out our café when you have time.” Hottest Man Alive slips the card into your palm, rendering you speechless with his bashful smile.

Oh, you’re not going to fall asleep at all tonight.

You run your eyes over the black embossed letters once more, trying to calm your erratic heartbeat as you mentally convince yourself that he does want you to pay his café a visit. Your whole life has always been normal, so alarmingly calm and peaceful it makes you question your whole existence. Sometimes it feels like you’re living in someone else’s dream, foreign and temporary. Uncertain and insecure.

Last night was… weird, to say the least. You’ve never felt that attracted to someone before, not even your ex-boyfriends. In that moment, you felt unstoppable, carefree, happy… everything that wasn’t you.

Sadly, that moment didn’t last long and now you’re back to your overthinking self. What if he was just playing with you? Will he find you desperate or, God forbid, easy if you actually show up at his café? But what café owners don’t want a new customer? Besides, you’re bringing Chan, so Hottest Man Alive (or Lee Minho, according to his name card) is getting two new customers. If anything, he will be thanking you and hoping you will come again, just like any normal business owner.

“Hey,” Chan calls out to you, knocking on the car window. “We’re here, daydreamer.”

You shove the card back into your wallet, met with Chan’s confused eyes when you finally open the door. “You okay?” He cocks an eyebrow. “You look so out of it.”

Chan knows nothing about your encounter with Hottest Man Alive; he would’ve freaked out if he knew you wanted to visit a café because a random (handsome) stranger told you so. “Just thirsty. It’s so hot,” you mumble.

Eat Here Café gives off the homey atmosphere that immediately calms your nerves. You quickly scan the whole building, looking for any sign of Hottest Man Alive. You feel lighter yet bummed that he’s not there, except for some photos of him with a group of children pinned on the wall.

You choose a table near the cashier. “I’ll order. What do you want?”

Chan shrugs. “Any kind of cake.”

The puppy-like part timer greets you with a smile when you reach the counter. “Good afternoon, what would you like to order?”

“Injeolmi bingsu and Coke, please. Oh, and a vanilla cake!”

He repeats your order politely and you decide that you like the boy, taking a glance at his nametag that says Kim Seungmin. You never really pay attention to part timers before, but this one is remarkably efficient, polite, and very very cute (in a “I’d like to adopt him!” way).

You drop some cash into the tipping jar, the twinkle in Seungmin’s eyes feels so rewarding that you’re ready to put it into your “little things that made my day” on your journal later. He hands you the buzzer with a bright smile. “Please wait for your order!”

“Your stingy ass never gives such a generous tip. Did he flirt with you or something?” Chan marvels—loud enough to get Seungmin’s attention—when you return to your table. There are times when you regret being Chan’s business partner, but you realize that you’ve invested so much of your time and energy into building the company. That, and Chan is actually a dependable friend when he’s not trying to ruin your image.

Chan gets your order after the buzzer vibrates, digging into his cake right away. “Whoa this is good!” he exclaims. “How did you find this place?”

“…Instagram.”

“Do you think they hired a branding consultant already?”

You shake your head. “They post pretty regularly but I don’t think so.”

Chan’s eyes sparkle. “Do you think we should ask to meet the owner or something?”

“Hey Seungmin, iced Americano please! And remind me to pay your bonus later.”

The faintly familiar voice stops you from answering, your eyes wildly searching for the source. And there he is… the one you’ve been dreading to meet and also the one you’ve been yearning to meet. Lee Minho saunters into the café with his charming bunny smile and soft eyes, earning everyone’s attention except for Seungmin who’s still taking orders.

Seungmin only replies with a short hum, not taking his eyes off the cash register. You glance at Minho, mentally surprised by the way he doesn’t seem to be bothered with how Seungmin treats him.

“Quit staring before you start embarrassing yourself,” Chan warns you in the most boring tone. “I think he’s the owner.”

You almost spit out your drink. “I’m not staring!”

Minho exchanges some words with Seungmin before focusing his attention to all the customers. Your bingsu is melting, but you still follow his every move through your peripheral vision, not knowing whether you want him to recognize you.

“You really came!”

Chan points at himself, then at you. “Us?”

Minho shifts his gaze to Chan like he didn’t even notice the dimpled man was there whole time.

“Ah… y-yes,” you stutter. “This is very a nice café.”

One look at Chan and you know there’s no way for you to hide anymore. “He invited me!” you quip. “I mean, us.”

“Do you have anyone handling your social media accounts? Planning the digital marketing? Creating ads?” You have bombarded Minho with questions before Chan says anything, skipping the whole small talk step in “how to smoothly intrigue clients” manual.

Seungmin arrives with Minho’s iced Americano, putting the tall glass in front of him with no words before smiling at you and Chan. “Does any of you want anything else?”

“Yes, please,” Minho interrupts before you can refuse. “Please order whatever you want, it’s on the house.”

“Pulling the boss card, huh?” Chan jokes. “Then I’ll have orange juice.”

“Y/N?”

You didn’t have a chance to try the vanilla cake Chan ordered because he inhales food instead of digesting them, but the chocolate ice cream looks beyond tempting—

Minho chuckles. “How about our vanilla and chocolate ice cream?”

“Did I say that out loud?” you mumble to yourself, but proceed to thank Minho for his suggestions and tell Seungmin you’d like to have those. Minho flashes you a soft smile, almost making you melt on the spot if it weren’t for Chan’s leg kicking yours.

The conversation continues without any embarrassing incident. Chan lets you do all the talking, only adding further details when necessary while Minho asks you challenging but intriguing questions you answer passionately.

The so-called meeting ends with Minho promising to sign the contract by next week and Chan shaking your hand under the table, both confused and impressed.

“Is that why your employees are so relaxed around you? Because you just want everyone to eat and live well? I swear Seungmin didn’t even try to curse discreetly when you told him to wipe the counter for the 5th time,” you ask.

Minho laughs as the said boy exits his station, backpack slung across his shoulder. “Yes I’ll transfer your money after our guests leave. Don’t you dare remind me again!” the former yells playfully before the part timer opens his mouth. Seungmin bows to you and Chan before scowling at his boss. “You’re the one who told me to—nevermind. See you tomorrow, hyung.”

“I really like that boy,” you coo when Seungmin closes the door.

“I treat them as my friends,” Minho says. “I decided to do this because I just want to help everyone, including my employees. I don’t want Eat Here to be one of those expensive, pretentious cafes. I just want everyone to eat what they want, that’s why we have all sorts of things here. Combination of Eastern and Western, stuff like that. But this is still business, I have to do things to keep it running, right?”

You’ve met a lot of people with beautiful visions, but you’ve never met someone who wants something so simple yet complicated like Minho. It’s been quite a long time since you’re genuinely excited for a project, and now you know why Chan didn’t freak out upon knowing that you met Minho on the train.

“You guys can do whatever you want,” Minho adds, waving to a pair of part timers clocking in. “Are you going back to the office?”

Chan stretches his limbs. “Yeah,” he groans. “Gotta make sure our intern doesn’t jam the printer again.”

Your phone rings the moment Chan finishes his sentence. ”You jinxed it! Hyunjin is calling.”

“Whatever it is, wait until we’re back!” you whisper-yell at your intern.

“But noona, the printer—”

You give Hyunjin no chance to blabber about one specific printer and end the call. Minho giggles at your antiques, and you don’t have the energy to stop yourself from admiring his pretty features in the most obvious ways possible.

Chan pats your back before grabbing his phone and stands up. “I guess that’s our cue to leave.”

“Take these.” Minho writes your name on one of the paper bags, handing them to you with a big smile. “For everyone at your office. Thanks for reaching out to us.”

You peek inside the bag that has your name scribbled on it, not surprised to see both vanilla and chocolate ice cream inside—it’s the clear bottle that you’re curious about.

“Bye! I’ll send you the gym’s contact later!” Your best friend slash business partner waves at your new client slash crush from the driver’s seat. You take out the bottle, it’s filled with sikhye.

Your favorite drink, but Minho isn’t supposed to know that.

“Everyone deserves a fresh start. Don’t let anyone from your past haunt you. Start Erasure now.”

Minho mutes the television, heaving a sigh as he recounts his fateful meeting with you yesterday. The world has always been rather weird, he would say, but nothing defeats meeting his ex-girlfriend—his first love—who has no recollection of your time together. He heard from his former classmates that you sent them a message a few years ago, informing them that you would undergo the erasure procedure. According to his friends, you specifically told them to “never ever mention Lee Minho’s name or ask you about the procedure.”

You’re back in his life now, happy as ever, and the last thing Minho wants is breaking your heart all over again. He no longer owns that special spot in your heart, you owe him nothing. He left you insecure, disappointed and soulless, and now it’s his turn to be haunted by all the questions and what ifs in his mind.

His phone vibrates as soon as he flips the signage open, your name flashing on his screen. “Hey Y/N what’s up?”

“Minho I can’t multitask so please give me quick and accurate answer. I’m at the traffic light in front of Lotte now—”

“You need to turn left.”

“Okay… didn’t know my non-existent sense of direction is that obvious — damn, let me change lanes.”

Minho suppresses a chuckle. You’ve always been bad with directions.

“Turn left once more, and you’ll find us. We’re right across the first G25 store on the street.”

He steps out the café to welcome you when he spots a white Kia arriving. In contrast to his horrifying memories of teaching you to drive, you manage to parallel-park your car smoothly in 10 seconds, stopping Minho from offering to help you park your car.

“Sorry,” you grimace. “I suck at directions. Last week was the first time I went here and Chan was the one driving so I wasn’t really paying attention… and before you ask, no I can’t use GPS while driving. I barely managed to dial your number.”

Minho lifts his hands. “I was just going to say hello.”

“Oh, good! People always judge me for that!”

You don’t let him respond as you point at the photos on the wall. “Tell me about them!” you request. “Our photographer Hyunjin is going to be here any minute, and we’ll give this corner a special attention. Your customers need to know this.”

Minho scratches his head bashfully, the glint of admiration in your eyes is making him a bit dizzy. It’s been a long time since you looked at him like that. “Uhh, okay. These are the kids I’m supporting, they live in Africa,” he starts. “I hope I can visit them someday, but they’ve been sending me letters, saying thank you... telling me about their days and all.”

“Wow!” you marvel. “How does it feel? To receive such lovely letters?”

“Honestly, it kinda makes me feel like a parent,” he replies. “It feels wonderful.”

Moving onto the next set of photos, his smile grows wider. “I teach these kids dancing, sometimes taekwondo. They’re all very sweet, especially the maknae, Yang Jeongin.” Minho points at a boy with contagious smile. “He can be a brat sometimes, but everyone loves him.”

“Is this an orphanage? Can I meet them?” you blurt out.

“Of course! You’ll love them to bits.”

“You have to come back with Y/N noona!”

A few weeks later, Minho took you to the orphanage. You played with the kids all day and watched him teach them dance. You thought the kids wouldn’t like you as much, but now they’re trying to persuade you to stay the night.

“Aww, of course I’ll come back. Be a good boy, and we’ll be back sooner than you thought!”

Yang Jeongin, the youngest boy in the orphanage, has done everything to make you stay. If it weren’t for your “adult responsibilities,” you would have caved in because nothing could beat his puppy eyes and hopeful smile.

“Alright, go back inside, everyone. All of you need to sleep.”

The kids grumble at Minho’s command, slowly walking back to the main hall. After making sure no one sneaks out to follow you, the two of you make a stop at a nearby park that Minho claims to be the perfect place to admire the moon.

“Okay, you’re not lying. The moon does look pretty from here.”

The man sitting beside you smirks in satisfaction. “I never stay too long but I always like spending time here. Now that I think about it, you kinda resemble the moonlight.”

The switch of the mood has you cackling. “Aren’t everything about the moon associated with werewolves and murders? You’re expecting me to fall for such a lame pickup line?”

“That’s not how I see it.” Minho disagrees. “I think you’re radiant, bright but not blinding. Take it as a compliment.”

The word radiant strikes you light a lightning, forces you to face the harsh reality that you’re doing a really good job in hiding the hollowness inside—all the lingering questions and uneasiness. You’re far from being the light Minho admires.

“Trust me, I’m not radiant whatsoever.”

Minho stiffens, observing you carefully until you feel brave enough to look at him. At first, you see pity in his eyes, but it morphs into something that feels too good to be true. You find tranquil in his gaze, so serene that you nearly let your tears fall.

He reaches for your hand, interlocking your fingers together before pulling you up from your seat. “I’ll tell you whenever you’re being the moonlight that you are,” he promises, his voice is a perfect mix between sincerity and mischief. “Prepared to get sick of me because I’ll remind you everyday.”

Just because most people often cross the line doesn’t mean that being able to exert self-control when needed is something to be proud about, but Minho has always thought of it as his positive trait.

He’s going to cross it out of the list today.

His hand is still holding yours tightly, chatting away with a lopsided smile on his face. And yours. This wasn’t what he intended to do, but life loves to play God and tests him the moment he thinks he knows what he’s doing. Giving you his name card on the train has spiraled into taking you home hand-in-hand, peppering kisses on your temple when you become too cute to handle (which is almost all the damn time) and falling in love with you all over again. What happened in the subway impulsive and dumb, but he couldn’t control himself. He wanted to see you again, he longed to talk to you.

Minho just wanted a second chance to be good to you, but will things ever be enough? How will he make things right again? Providing you free coffee and say thank you for your visit? It was a selfish wish he shouldn’t have acted upon.

“We must’ve crossed paths somehow. There’s no way that we’ve never met before!” you say, swinging your intertwined hands happily.

It’s too late. History repeats itself, but Minho’s too far gone to stop. He’s trying to feel it, the need to exert self-control—he can’t.

“I didn’t come home often,” he lies, every word feels like knife stabbing his heart. You hum in response, a yawn escaping from your mouth as both of you are nearing your unit. Minho watches you enter the door password, mouthing the numbers silently, 2 3 0 9. Your grandma’s birthday. It’s always been your password for everything—phone, laptop, even Minho’s old apartment since you were the one who set it for him. It stays with him until this very day although he no longer lives in the same apartment.

You tug at his sleeve. “Come on in.”

Your stuffs are pretty much the same, if not exactly the same as a few years ago. The only things missing were those related to him. Polaroid photos of you together, the umbrella he left at your place, the mug he…. wait.

The purple mug Minho bought for you is sitting on the kitchen counter, causing him to nearly trip over his own feet. Did you forget to get rid of it before the procedure?

“Let me go change first,” you tell him. “Feel free to grab any snack. There’s cold water and beer in the fridge.”

He can barely answer as you disappear into your room. Memories start flooding his mind, it feels as if he finally finds all the folders with your name on them that he tried so hard to bury, stashed in the deepest part of his heart.

Those memories were so painfully beautiful he has to bite his lip to prevent his tears from falling.

“Oh that’s my favorite mug!”

You’re back, dressed in the black loose T-shirt you always wear during summers. Minho’s eyes automatically dart to your left shoulder, spotting the hole on the shirt that exposes a part of your shoulder.

Another thing that hasn’t changed. Another thing that makes you the you he knew. Another thing that diminishes his self-control into nothing because you have no idea how much he loved to—

“Minho?”

You cradle this face softly, wiping the tears he didn’t know he shed. Confusion and panic reflected in your irises. “Is everything okay?”

“Huh?” He touches his cheek before attempting to laugh. “Something probably went into my eyes...”

“Let me see.” Before he refuses, you’ve taken a step closer, gently blowing into his eyes. “Better? Want some eye drop?”

Minho shakes his head, removing your hands from his face and plants a kiss on your forehead. Another mistake that feels so right. “I guess I’m just tired. Is it okay if we chat some other time?”

You mumble an okay, following him to the front door. When he turns the door knob, you reach for his hand. “Hey,” you murmur, slowly examining his face. Minho tries to read yours in return, sensing your hesitation. He waits for a good minute patiently, letting you form words in your head.

“What are we? These things we’ve been doing… what do they mean to you? Does this mean we’re…”

You let out a frustrated sigh, more directed to yourself than him, and Minho understands what you’re talking about. He tightens his grip on the knob, desperately begging himself to stop all of this. You don’t deserve another heartbreak when you’ve done everything to continue living.

You’re a whole new person, yet you remain the one he adored. How can you be so different yet familiar? How can you be so… dearly you?

“Minho, does this mean that we’re—”

Minho throws his arms around you, burying his head into the crook your neck before slowly trailing his lips towards the exposed part of your shoulder. You have no idea how much he loves leaving kisses there, on that particular spot. As strange as it sounds, it gives him the strength and hope he needs. Minho never told you this; you’ll never be able to imagine how happy and relieved he currently feels when he plants one, two, three, countless kisses that set his whole being on fire.

“We are,” he whispers, dropping one last kiss before pulling you even closer, enveloping your body in his embrace.

There’s only one thing in Minho’s head now: love. He can only think about loving you better than before, and in this moment nothing can stop him from doing so because whether he likes the old you or the new you doesn’t matter anymore.

Minho just loves you, and he doesn’t want to think about anything else. Not even his selfishness. And especially not your future heartbreak.

“You’re so precious, Y/N. You’re so precious to me.”

Hyunjin is the only one at the office when you arrive. He’s busy with his camera, changing its setting every now and then before capturing random things on his desk. You and Chan were on the fence about hiring him at first since you’re just a small company and he’s a student with high expectations. However, Hyunjin turns out to be the one of the most eager apprentices ever, and you’re going to bawl your eyes out when his internship ends next month.

“What are you doing?” you ask him, only earning a distracted “Huh?” as an answer.

“Hyunjin, don’t forget to go over the photoshoot details with me before we leave later, okay?”

He lifts his head a little this time. “Okay. Let me just finish trying out this new technique Seungmin taught me.”

You chuckle, snapping a photo of your intern yelling at his camera when he messes up. Sending it to Chan, you write, “We should give him a raise.”

Your phone rings a few seconds later, frowning when Chan’s urgent voice greets you. “I’m inside my car. Can we talk?”

“Whoa, relax. What happened?”

“Y/N, please. Just come out for a sec.”

No one wants to start a fight with Chan when he’s talking in that tone, so you inform Hyunjin you’re stepping out for a bit. Chan’s sedan is parked right in front of the building, his conflicted face prompts you to enter the car right away.

“You told me there’s something weird about Minho but now you’re dating him? And you’re hiding it from me?” he deadpans without waiting for you to close the door.

“I didn’t mean to hide it from you,” you murmur. “I just don’t know how to explain it.”

Chan sighs in exasperation. “Why do you think you owe me an explanation?  I’m your best friend, not your mother. How is Minho different from any other guy you’ve dated that you really tried to keep it a secret from me?”

You gulp. “Things between Minho and I… it’s different. I thought I knew what liking someone felt like, but after meeting him I realized I knew nothing about it. Everything feels so overwhelmingly wonderful and insanely intense I think I may fall apart if I start talking about it.”

Your best friend gives you a knowing look, but says nothing as he stares at a random stranger walking down the street. “And I know you’re not really fond of him so I was trying to look for the perfect timing to tell you. Sorry.”

“I just want to keep you safe. This guy knows small details about you that even I didn’t know. Are you sure you never met him before?”

He pauses, taking a deep breath before adding, “Did you do that erasure procedure?”

“How am I supposed to know?” you snap. “Isn’t forgetting about the whole thing the point of the procedure?”

“You love him, don’t you?” Chan’s voice is soft this time, but his words hit you right in the gut you have to stop yourself from flinching. Hearing someone say that they love you is scary, admitting that you are in love is a hundred times scarier.

Taking your silence as a yes, Chan turns on the engine. “Look, the last thing I want is seeing you sad. It breaks me, more than you know. So please consider trying to find out the truth. How are you going to love him if you don’t trust him? How is he going to love you if he keeps you in the dark?”

You lean your head against the window, watching your best friend dialing Hyunjin’s number to tell him that both of you will be back after lunch.

“We better be quick,” Chan says. “Hyunjin’s terrified he will have to answer Mr. Song’s call again.”

“We should definitely give him a raise.”

“Oh we will,” he snickers. “If he survives Mr. Song’s call.”

“You’re cruel.”

For the first time in your life, you feel like a ruling queen inside your island instead of a trapped princess. You know every nook, every secret passage, every hidden treasure that nobody else has ever explored. Everything feels real for once, you’re in control and you want to stay here forever.

Eat Here has gained more regular customers since you and Chan started handling its social media accounts, and the face-splitting grin on Minho’s face whenever a new customer pushes the door open makes you feel proud and giddy at the same time.

You weren’t able to witness your Hottest Man Alive greeting his customers happily today, but you promised to pay him a visit at the café. It’s a few minutes past 10, meaning the café has closed for the day, so you were prepared to see everyone cleaning up. To you surprise, there’s nobody inside when you arrive.

“Minho?”

Your boyfriend waves from inside the pantry. “Coming!”

Moments later, he comes out with a tray of food. Gesturing at you to take a seat, he places a bowl of potato salad, a pot of kimchi jjigae and some side dishes. “Wait, let me get some more.”

You recall your phone conversation 2 hours ago, vaguely remembering telling Minho that you haven’t had dinner. When he serves the last batch of side dishes and a bottle of sikhye, you tease him for being so sweet.

“I’m not being sweet though?” He pulls out a chair for himself, watching you eat with content eyes. “You said you were starving, so I prepared you some food.”

You shrug, letting him pour sikhye into your glass. “I just never expected that you’re someone who…”

“… cooks?” he finishes for you. “I just did the bare minimum. Do you really want to see me being sweet?”

“Is that a challenge?”

Minho clears his throat, the way he stares at you makes you fidget in your seat. Only God knows what’s inside this man’s mind. One second he’s nonchalant and cool, then he’s Mr. Flirty and makes you all swoony.

Patting his thigh, he smiles at you. “Come here baby.”

You shake your head in fear of completely losing your sanity. “No. What are you trying to do?”

“Being the most romantic boyfriend ever. Come on.”

Minho tries his best to suppress his laugh as you finally settle yourself on his lap, not sure whether you should rest your head on his shoulder or peck his lips or marvel at how firm his thighs are... damn it Y/N, what are you? 17?

Although you’re just sitting there like a log, Minho looks unbothered and reaches for the chocolate cake. He slices it into smaller bites, taking a piece of it with the fork before telling you to open your mouth. “If you still want ice cream then we can get some on the way home.”

“I’ve had enough ice cream for today. I went to this cute ice cream parlor with Chan.”

You take the plate from him, stuffing yourself with the rest of the cake. Minho’s soft pats on your shoulder and the sweet taste of chocolate seem to flush all the initial awkwardness from your system.

Another hour passes with you curling up on Minho’s lap, the latter listening to your little speech about how grateful you are for vending machines as if you’re talking about world peace. Your back hurts and his thighs ache but the way your head nestles in the crook of his neck and the way he pecks your cheek every few minutes are enough of a spell to trap both of you in this exact moment, where lies, doubts and regrets cease to exist.

You wake up with a jolt, reaching for your water bottle on the bedside table. It’s surreal for a dream to feel that real—it almost felt like a memory, something distant but present nonetheless. You’re sure that was the younger Minho you saw in the dream instead of the one you know, and before you come to a realization that it’s currently 2AM, you’re already dialing his number.

He picks up on the fifth ring. “Hmmm my moonlight, missed me?”

His sleepy voice causes you to blush, definitely not seeing that coming. “Nothing.” You wince at your parched voice. “I just had a dream.”

Minho lets out a low laugh, you can hear him sitting up on his bed. “About me?”

“Well… yeah.”

“Tell me about it.”

You sink into your bed, heaving a sigh you forget to hide. “It’s complicated.”

“Was it a bad dream?” Minho’s voice is firm but oh so calming that you start recounting every detail you can remember. He listens to you attentively, humming once in a while, and your muscles are all relaxed now. Minho is here, listening to your bullshit in the wee hours of the morning. Minho is here, calling you his moonlight with the most caring tone ever.

“I miss you,” he declares the moment you finish talking. “Can I come over?”

“All of sudden? Minho, it’s 2AM.” You glance at the clock. “Wait, it’s 2:18 now.”

“Then I’ll be there at 3AM.”

“But—”

He hangs up, and you just sit there until Minho enters your room at 3AM sharp, taking in your dumfounded state before plopping himself onto the bed and pulling you close. “I’m here,” he sweetly says and you can only nod, eyes boring into his as he runs his thumbs along your cheekbones. “I like you, exactly the way you like me. I like you more.”

You shake your head, burying your head in the crook of his neck to hide your red cheeks. “It was just a dream,” he adds, enunciating each word like a mantra. Closing your eyes, you repeat his words again and again inside your head, traces of pain from the dream still crawling up your skin as Minho’s sweet praises lull you to sleep.

“I’m sorry but that’s classified information. We cannot mention anything about our patients.”

“But she did the procedure because of me! I’m the one she erased!”

“That only gives us more reasons to forbid you from obtaining any information. It’s our policy to protect our patients, especially after the procedure is done.”

Minho wonders how this sullen kid managed to land the job, but bites his tongue before he really gets kicked out. He takes one deep breath before pleading at so-called receptionist (his name is Kim Seungmin but he could care less) once again. “May I at least know whether she was in so much pain?”

Seungmin fixes his glasses. “People her age mostly spend their money on traveling or whatever cool things they want to do, but she chose to have her memories manipulated so she wouldn’t have to remember you. I think that’s enough of an explanation.”

It’s no big deal, Minho tells himself. It’s normal for people to have the Erasure procedure thesedays. In fact, it’s become so normal that no one bothers to talk about it anymore. Erasure is simply another way to move on, just like Love Alarm is another way to detect love. If you decided that your memories together weren’t precious enough to keep in your heart, so be it. If he hurt you that much but you chose to erase him instead of confronting him, then it’s your loss.

Exactly. Was he that bad? Did he hurt you that much?

“Excuse me, Sir?” Seungmin is already standing by the door. “I think it’s better for you to leave.”

“Alright.” Minho lifts his hands in defeat, starting to feel bad for the poor boy who’s just trying to keep his job. “Hang in there, kid.”

“Congratulations, you just earned a VIP pass to Hell.”

Eat Here is doing well, the kids he’s supporting are starting school soon and he finally gets to return the feelings of the girl he loves the most but yes, Seungmin is right. The gates of Hell are open for Minho.

“Right,” he scoffs. “As if you didn’t greet people with a smile and convinced them that erasure was the best solution for all their problems.”

Seungmin grits his teeth; talks about Dr. Seo Changbin’s Erasure Centre are never easy for both of them. For Seungmin, it reminds him of all the pain, rage and guilt he thought he was used to seeing. For Minho, it reminds him of his selfishness and failure to make you happy.

“The erasure did help a lot of people though,” the puppy-eyed boy trails off. “It’s been years yet I’m still torn between wanting the procedure to perish and thanking it for saving lives.”

“Maybe it does save people. But then there’s Y/N.”

“And you,” Seungmin adds.

Minho chuckles. “And you.”

“Are you just gonna wait until she realizes that those dreams actually happened?”

A long silence looms over them until Seungmin slides a clear CD case along the counter. “I guess it’s time to reveal how I risked my life for you the day I quit my job there.”

A label with your name is plastered on it along with the logo of the centre. It’s the answer to all his questions when he first met Seungmin. The sole proof that everything between the two of you happened.

“I can get sued anytime,” the part-timer warns jokingly. “So use it well, and don’t cry. She said some hurtful things, but you deserved it anyways.”

“Do you think it could last another hour?”

Hyunjin snaps one last photo and tells the models to get a 5-minute break. “Do you want an honest answer or an intern-can-make-anything-happen answer?” he whispers at you while checking his shots.

You’re currently at a photoshoot in Gyeongju with a client you desperately need to impress, but your clumsiness just had to choose today to get in action. Chan was almost furious when you told him you left all the cameras’ charging cables at Minho’s apartment.

“So we’re fucked up,” you conclude. “How many outfits are left?”

“Including this one… three.”

“We’re so fucked up,” you correct yourself, approaching Chan to relay the expected bad news when a familiar car arrives at the villa. You barely hear Hyunjin muttering, “God is a male… for today…” before rushing to take the black duffel bag from Minho’s hand. He only smiles when you tell him he’s getting all the hugs and kisses later.

The photoshoot continues smoothly; allowing you, Chan and Hyunjin actually breathe after 5 hours trying to make the cameras’ batteries last as long as possible.

“I’m so sorry Chan,” you sigh.

He lets out a weak chuckle. “It’s fine. The problem’s solved anyways.”

“No thanks to me.”

“Thanks to you.” Chan glances at your boyfriend who’s leaning on his car, watching you from afar. “Minho brought the chargers, but you were the one who made him drive all the way here. You need to stop underestimating his feelings for you.”

You let Chan’s words sink in, eyes meeting Minho’s in the process. For a split second you forget about everything’s that’s been bugging you, wanting nothing but to lose yourself in his affection for you.

“Do you trust Minho now?”

Chan puts his hand inside his pocket, exhaling softly. “I know he’s crazy for you Y/N, I’m not dense. But does that mean he’s being honest with you?”

Hyunjin snaps one last photo that marks the end of the shoot, giving you a reason not to respond to Chan, jogging towards the models instead. “Thank you, everyone!” You bow to them. “There are some snacks left inside so please eat before you go, or you may take them home.”

You can still feel Minho’s eyes on you, following you wherever you run with the sweetest kind of fondness that makes it hard for you to question him. He’s like a prince who comes from another kingdom after crossing the long bridge and fighting in the wild forest. He stands there in front of your castle, waiting for you to deem him worthy of your love, of you.

How do you say no to that?

But how do you know if he sees you the way you feel he does?

After that night, you’ve had other dreams—the ones you never told him—each dream etched itself into your mind, filling in the empty spaces slowly but surely. They become a part of you so naturally that you’re convinced you somehow lived them.

“What are you thinking about?”

Minho has just finished loading the last box of props into Chan’s car trunk, now waiting for you to break your train of thoughts with an amused smile. You barely hear Chan and Hyunjin saying goodbye before they enter the car, leaving the two of you alone.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

Minho’s smile is long gone, his expression mirroring yours: confused, lost, a bit scared. “Are you okay?”

Even your 18 year-old self knew what to do then. A bit late, but she did it. The thought of embracing her as a part of you is making you nauseous, the acknowledgement of having a past you don’t remember is disturbingly scary.

“Those dreams... they were real, right? Those are my memories.”

Your stomach churns when Minho nods, surprisingly calmer than you expected. He pulls out a CD out of his bag, carefully slipping it into your hand. The thin plastic feels heavy in your hold, the world as you know it crumbling at the realization that this Lee Minho was the same boy who had your heart in his palm and broke it.

“I tried to picture this situation in my head every single day, but never had the courage to actually tell you. I’m so sorry Y/N. For everything, then and now.”

Lee Minho, the one who sees you as his moonlight, was also the one whose heart could never be yours.

“I’m Lee Minho. We’re both from Gimpo, and we met at high school. We were best friends, then sometime during 11th grade we started dating. You were this amazing, lovely girl who wore your heart on your sleeves, and I was the asshole who failed to realize how blessed I was to have you.”

Minho pauses to look into your eyes, the sorrow in his orbs triggers the tears you refuse to shed. “I became your boyfriend because I didn’t want to lose you,” he continues. “I was stupid, wasn’t I? Stupid and inconsiderate. All I had to do was tell you how I felt…”

"B-but why?” you sob. “Y-you l-lied to me, Minho. Again.”

“I did. Fuck. I did,” he admits. “You have every right to never ever forgive me. But Y/N, I never meant to play with your feelings. I was too late, but I loved you then. I love you now, and I don’t think I’ll be able to love anyone else even if I try.”

Phase 2: Forgotten Days

“A mug?”

Minho hums as an answer while copying your English homework in a speed of light, failing to answer your questions about why, out of all things he could buy in Japan, he decided to gift you a mug. You let out a huff when he leaves your next question hang in the air (“How did you know that I needed a new mug?”), but lets him be since the bell will ring in 15 minutes.

The purple mug is quite heavy and somehow that makes your heart flutter. Minho gave all the other classmates green tea Kit Kats and keychains, but he was willing to fit the bulky mug into his tiny suitcase for you.

You don’t know what’s going on inside his head most of the time, for all you know he could’ve bought the mug because he forgot to buy something for you and decided to grab the first thing in sight. It’s just a little gift, something you should just appreciate without thinking too much about it, but you can’t help but wonder. Sometimes you feel sorry for yourself for overanalyzing Minho’s every little gesture, trying to guess how much he likes you.

“I’m done!” Minho exclaims, returning your book before grabbing his wallet. He finally looks into your eyes, smiling at you as he ruffles your hair. “Gotta grab some snacks. You want anything? Strawberry milk? Chips?”

When he comes back with both although you told him you only wanted chips, Minho argues that he knows you’ll get hungry in the middle of lessons. Again, it shouldn’t feel so special, but he’s looking at you now, you and no one else. Lee Minho is like an enigma, but at times like this, you bask in his bright smile and everything is forgotten.

Summer is the enemy you’ve managed to beat every single year, but combine the scorching heat with excruciating cramps and you don’t stand a chance. You peek into the practice room once again, but Minho is still practicing his dance routines, his phone laid neglected at the corner of the room. The supposed-to-be 30 minutes practice turns into an hour, and you decide to just wait outside since you don’t have energy to go home on your own.

The door opens when you’re on the verge of passing out, luckily someone has caught you before you collapse on the floor. “Y/N,” Minho’s voice forces you to open your eyes. “What happened?”

“… cramps…”

He lifts you and dashes to the infirmary without saying anything else, yelling at some other students to “fucking move!” while trying not to trip over his undone shoelaces. You try to tell him that you’re alright, just a little tired from enduring the pain but he gives you no chance to talk.

Minho finally stays still after kicking the infirmary’s door to no avail. He makes no other attempt to open the door, slowly making eye contact with your drowsy eyes. You love seeing fire in Minho’s eyes, especially when he dances or plays with his friends. This is the first time Minho sees you with such intensity, but this is not the passionate flame you’ve been craving to see. This fire is destructive, painful. It breaks your heart that he’s looking at you like this, like you’re the source of all unfortunate events that happens in his life.

You feel like you’re the unfortunate event in his life, and the thought is enough to make you break free from his bruising grip, pushing the door open yourself.

“Go back to practice,” you tell him, sitting on one of the beds. “I’ll lie down for a bit then go home.”

Minho rummages through the medicine cupboard, taking a painkiller pill and fills an empty glass with warm water. “Drink this, I’ll take you home.”

“I’m fine, Minho…”

He shakes his head. “You’re sick and I’m taking you home.”

Too weak to argue, you swallow the pill and let him walk you home. Minho keeps his hand around your shoulder the whole time, not even bothering to check his ringing phone. He doesn’t talk to you either, and at this rate the silence is more concerning than your cramps.

“Can you go up on your own?” he murmurs when you reach your apartment building. “I have to go back to school, but I’ll stop by later.”

You only nod, about to wave him goodbye when he reaches for your arm. “Wait.”

Minho cups your face, pressing his lips on yours and stealing your breath away. Soon, he starts kissing you harder, but his lips still feel cold against yours and he still feels so faraway even when he’s gripping your waist like his life depends on it.

“Minho,” you manage to rasp, cradling his face to stop him from planting another kiss on your lips. He opens his eyes, staring at you with those beautiful eyes that, sadly, never really shine for you. “Your friends are waiting.”

Still panting, Minho gives you a nod before pulling away. The fire you saw in his eyes earlier has died out.

As you watch him walk away, you finally realize that you’ve been asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not about how much Minho likes you, it’s about whether he likes you at all.

If Minho could choose only one person to be with for the rest of his life, he would choose you. He enjoyed watching movies with you, he loved sending his silly selfies to you, he always wanted to end a tiring day by talking to you all night long.

He can still do that, you’re still his friend. The only difference is that he can hug and kiss you and tell other people that he’s yours. Minho doesn’t know why he lets the words “boyfriend and girlfriend” change the dynamics between the two of you, but it’s too late to undo everything.

“Can we just be friends again?” he repeats the question in his head over and over, yet he can never voice it out. The look in your eyes will be too devastating for him to bear, and he will you lose you forever.

“I’m outside,” he tells you over the phone, trying not to flinch at your excited “Oh!” 

A few minutes later, you step out of the elevator, walking towards him with big steps.

“Feeling better?” he asks, noting the way your eyes light up at the question.

“Hmm. I took a short nap and it’s gone.”

Minho sighs. “Don’t wait for me next time. If I take too long, you can just go home. I’m sorry that I let you wait around like that.”

The last sentence causes you to lower your gaze, seemingly self-conscious with the fact that he forgot you were waiting for him. “Bought you some ice cream,” Minho says, trying to distract you from your thoughts. “Chocolate, vanilla, mint choco, it’s all there.”

“As an apology?” you half-tease, the tinge of sadness in your voice causes Minho’s heart to clench a little.

He quickly pulls you into his arms, resting his chin on the top of your head. “Yes and no,” he murmurs into your hair. Part of him is relieved when you don’t question his answer, only humming against his chest before wrapping your arms around him. It’s so easy to make you happy and it angers him. You’re too kind. Too patient. Too loyal. You’re too in love with him, and it hurts not being able to feel the same.

But as the warmth of your body starts to comfort his senses, Minho realizes this is where he wants to be. He wants to be with you, no matter what the labels are. “If you miss the last bus you’re gonna have to walk all the way home,” you remind him, voice muffled since neither of you wants to let go.

“One more minute,” he replies, fingers playing with the hole on your shirt. He places one feathery kiss there, a silent promise that he’s going to try his best loving you. The one promise that could have made you stay, but it remained unsaid until the day you left him.

“Surprise!”

Minho lets out a yelp, coughing up confetti that you pop right in front of face. His parents, standing a few steps behind you, are giggling at their son’s reaction. “I thought you had to go somewhere with your mom!” he exclaims, the surprise in his eyes is now replaced by confusion and… annoyance?

You quietly step aside, letting him shake off the confetti as you’re trying to find your voice. Minho’s parents don’t seem to notice the tension, laughing and explaining that they invited you over for the family birthday dinner.

His mother ushers both of you to the dining room where the feast awaits. “After all this time you still haven’t introduced Y/N to Soonie!” she protests jokingly while the said cat is purring at you. Coming over to Minho’s house without his knowledge sounded like a terrible idea right from the start, but now you really wish you had turned the offer down. The birthday boy only pats you on the back before telling you to sit down, and you spend the rest of the dinner conversing without ever looking at each other in the eyes. That’s no surprise, what surprises you is the fact that you don’t even bother trying to get him look at you.

After 2 years, you’re finally tired of waiting for Minho to love you.

“Soonie doesn’t usually like strangers,” Minho says as you’re walking to the bus stop. “But he really likes you.”

“Do you?”

“What?”

“Like me. Do you like me?”

Minho chuckles. “What kind of question is that?”

Words are bubbling inside your head, all emotions threatening to spill out you have to literally swallow them down. It feels like the world has come to a stop—the realization that your world has been revolving around Minho all this time makes you feel queasy.

“Y/N?”

You want to explode. You wish you can explode. There’s nothing you want more than taking out every piece of your broken heart, count all of them and show him how much you’ve been hurting. You thought your love was enough for both of you, but the bigger your love grew, the farther the distance between the two of you became.

Minho keeps his gaze on you as you’re mustering up courage to ask the most heartbreaking question. “Why?” you quiver. “Why do you pretend that you like me? Why do you bother doing that for 2 years?”

“I-I like you. So much,” he stutters. “Just not in the same way you like me…”

Blinking your tears away, you return his tormented gaze. “Then why did you let me like you alone? Every fucking day you let me wonder how much you like me, if I mean anything to you… I wait for you, convincing myself that you must’ve liked me if you chose to be my boyfriend. But it’s just a game to you, isn’t it?”

Lee Minho has always had his own way to love. You’ve seen him showering those around him with love in ways that seem so ordinary that people often take it for granted. But you see and feel everything, including hints that your feelings have always been one sided. You bury all those hints, telling yourself that he only needs time.

That time never comes, and you have run out of lies and excuses and hope to cover up for both of you.

Phase 3: Chasing Moonlight

The Queen lived under a spell all this time, believing that the foreign kingdom was her whole world while she didn’t even have a home to begin with.

But the ruins of her castle—the only thing that’s left of the kingdom she tried to understand her whole life—will become one. She’s going to build herself a new kingdom, one that she knows by heart, and call it home.

“Noona!!! I’m going home!!! Don’t stay there too long!!! You’ll get sick!!!”

You tear your gaze from the cloudy sky as Hyunjin shouts at you from the ground. You dismiss him with a little wave, forcing a small smile so that the boy will leave instead of going back to the rooftop.

“He’s right,” Chan adds. “You’ve been here for hours.”

After showing up at work with puffy eyes and hoarse voice, Chan attempted to send you home, but you insisted to complete some of your tasks before breaking down during lunch after Hyunjin accidentally revealed that he would meet Seungmin at Eat Here.

So here you are, finally sated after crying all the tears you had left at the rooftop during the remaining working hours.

“I’m fine,” you croak, cringing at your own voice. “You can leave.”

“And let you stay here until you’re all stiff and frozen?”

“Just let me be pathetic for one more day.”

He furrows his brows. “You’re not being pathetic. After what he’s done to you, weeping is the least you should do.”

You let out your first laugh of the day. “I surely wept.”

Looking incredibly relieved that you haven’t lost the ability to feel other emotions than sadness, Chan continues, “Wanna talk about it?”

“Do you know what hurts the most?”

He takes the longest time to think, but shakes his head at the end.

“The fact that I’ll probably never see him again.”

“That’s supposed to be a good thing, but go on.”

“Should I give him one last chance? Or should I just hate him until I die? What’s the right thing to do? What should I do to heal? What should he do to heal? All these questions are driving me insane.”

Those questions are the easiest to answer, so you expect Chan to sigh and tell you to snap out of it, but he just smiles at you. “What do you want to do?”

“Huh?”

“Have you tried answering your own questions? What you want to do is what you’re supposed to do. It’s easy, my dear friend.”

“I want to…”

Your mind wanders to last night, recalling that agony on Minho’s face that mirrors your own. A small part of you wants him to suffer for the rest of his life, consumed by guilt and the sheer horror of being erased from someone else’s memories.

“I want to curse him out.”

Chan playfully smacks your head. “You didn’t do that?”

“My mind went blank, then I started crying. That wasn’t cool at all, I know,” you huff. “I should’ve told him to go to hell or something.”

“After that? What do you want to do?”

You bury your face into your palms, ignoring the teasing tone in Chan’s questions. “The last time we talked, you were Lee Minho’s #1 hater. What happened?”

“I just wanted him to be honest with you. I never hated him,” he tells you softly. “Do you?”

You may never get all of your memories back, but the ones you can remember are enough to know that being with Minho used to be a silent torture. He was a thorny rose, beautiful yet unattainable. You wanted him so much you refused to look down and see your bloody fingers. The thorns were stuck there for the longest time, eventually infecting your soul until you were too weak to heal yourself.

But he’s not that boy anymore. He’s just Minho who listens to all of your rambles and actually keeps all those details in his mind. He gives you the warmest hugs and the most sincere kisses. He stays by your side, and you will always want him to stay.

When you finally lift your head to answer Chan, he gives you his reassuring smile that never fails to make you feel better. It’s the first time he’s talking about Minho without a frown, and you hope it’s a good sign. “Like I said,” he sing-songs. “Do what you want to do.”

The sound of footsteps approaching prompts you to curl yourself into a ball, trying to make yourself as invisible as possible under the dining the table. Jeongin manages to push the heavy door open after a few tries, mumbling that you’re not going to take the “king of hide and seek” title from him. You can’t help but giggle at his determination, waiting for him to find you while he’s scanning the whole room.

“Minho hyung!”

You stay still, not wanting to fall into the 5 year-old’s tricks so easily… until you hear Minho’s voice calling the little boy’s name. “What are you guys playing? Where’s Y/N?”

“We’re playing hide and seek,” Jeongin answers, his eyes still as sharp as a hawk. “I’ve found everyone, only Y/N noona is left!”

Minho hums. “Want me to help you find her?”

You don’t hear Jeongin responding, but the next thing you see is a pair of pretty eyes staring into yours. “Found her,” Minho murmurs.

Jeongin pulls you out with a huge grin on his face. “I knew you were there! Thanks for helping me, hyung.”

Minho ruffles the boy’s head before gazing back at you. “If you’re thankful, can I borrow her for a second? We just need to talk, then she’s all yours.”

You can’t find the strength to say no, hoping Jeongin will somehow be clingy this time. “Are you guys fighting?” he asks instead.

“Do you think we’re fighting?”

Jeongin nods, his sparkly eyes turn gloomy. “If I let you talk, will you make up?”

Minho glances at you. “I don’t know… I made a huge mistake.”

“Did you make her cry?”

“Yeah,” Minho confirms, voice thick with remorse and you’re not sure how long you can pretend to be okay in front of Jeongin.“I’m a bad person, aren’t I?”

You crouch down, pinching the boy’s pout with an endearing smile. “I promise nothing bad will happen. Can we go outside now? I’m sure everyone is waiting for you.”

Still a bit sullen, he links his hand with yours and lets you lead him out, Minho trailing behind the two of you. Once you’re back at the garden, Jeongin whispers into your ear, “I’ll always be your friend, noona. I won’t hurt you.”

“Of course you won’t,” you laugh. “I’ll join you soon, okay?”

Minho turns to you as soon as Jeongin goes back to his friends, studying your expressions carefully. You want to tell him so many things, yet the only words you can produce are, “Fuck you, Lee Minho.”

You feel slightly lighter when Minho says nothing to defend himself, sitting on the grass before gesturing at you to do the same. It fuels your need to let out the pain you previously sealed inside your heart, ironically basking in his comforting presence as you do so.

“The whole time I felt like something was missing. You knew that, then went on hiding the rest of the puzzle pieces and left me there, incomplete. Just like that.”

This isn’t your first time baring your heart to Minho, the last time you did it you were left with such immeasurable pain that erasing a part of your brain—your soul—sounded like a better choice. You wait for the sadness and rage to take over your mind, but the storm never comes. You wonder what makes it different until Minho shifts to look at you in the eye.

Minho is looking at you with those pretty eyes like you’re the only one he can see. It’s not just a sweet dream you tried to dream of every night when you were 17. You’re no longer the only one who’s wearing your heart on your sleeves.

“Am I doing this because I feel guilty or because I genuinely want to be with you?” he begins. “Believe me Y/N, I spent months trying to find the answer and justify what I did, but I guess you can never exactly separate those two feelings.”

His confession is bittersweet; you know it won’t end all your personal battles. You still have to fight them, help yourself to understand why you are thinking and acting the way you are. The gaps have been filled, and now you have to be the one who define yourself.

“I thought I could just treat you better for the rest of our lives. I was sure my love would be enough to heal you. That was very stupid and selfish of me, and I’m sorry. You’re free to hate me, push me away, ruin my life… the decision is yours. But I don’t wanna hide how I feel anymore. Not from you.”

You’re still pondering his words when Jeongin comes to check on you, making sure Minho isn’t making you cry again.

“No, Jeongin, I’m fine. Look? I’m not crying!” you reassure the pouty kid.

He beams at you with his toothy smile. “Really?! Did you make up? Friends have to forgive each other!”

“I know, sweetheart,” you coo. “And yes, we made up. Friends forgive each other.”

Minho shoots you a surprised look, but you ignore him until you convince Jeongin that he can continue playing. “I don’t know whether we can go back to what we were,” you tell him, gazing at the clear sky. “I still need time to process everything, but I was afraid that I wouldn’t ever see you again. So we can be friends, if you want.”

He chuckles, eyes sparkling and hopeful. “Hi. I’m Lee Minho.”

“I’m Y/N,” you reply. “Anyways, Lee Minho my new friend, how did you know that I’m here?”

“Your scary friend Bang Chan told me you’d be here.”

“So you think Chan is scary.”

Minho does something that’s between a shrug and a shudder. “He’s always shooting daggers at me how do you not notice?!”

As you and Minho spend the rest of the day laughing and enjoying the sun, you rediscover the magic of following your heart.

It’s heavenly.

To Minho, there are only okay days and good days. Bad days almost never happen, but today is a bad day. Everything started from Eat Here’s fruit supplier sending them the wrong strawberries, then Seungmin called in sick minutes before his shift started, and now he has to deal with a couple whose order hasn’t been processed since 40 minutes ago.

“I apologize for the inconvenience. We’re processing your order now and it will be on us. Jisung, we need another 2 glasses of lemonade—”

“We need our food, not—”

Minho’s lips stretch into a thin smile, the kind of smile he hates because you once said you could sense that he was faking it. His business smile is the only that can save him now, so he ignores the fact that you’re watching the whole chaos and says, “It will be on us. You’re going to need more drinks while waiting.”

After making sure that he’s appeased the angry customers, Minho goes back to the small table at the corner where you’re waiting for him. He can no longer mask his fatigue and annoyance when you lay your eyes on him, all he wants now is to hold you in his arms and sleep everything away. He knows he can’t ask you for more, he’s already getting more than he deserves since you agreed to be friends with him again.

He’s undeniably the luckiest man in the whole galaxy, but it’s human instincts to always want more. There are days when his longing for you is too much to handle, and today is one of those days.

His train of thoughts is interrupted when a cold glass is pressed against his cheek. “Minho?”

“Huh?”

Your eyes crinkle knowingly when he focuses his eyes on you again. “I want to listen to you ranting but I really need to go now. Chan needs me back at the office.”

“Okay,” he answers rather brashly. “Thanks for stopping by.”

Minho almost pouts the way Jeongin does (that pout always gets him) whenever the two of you are going home, luckily he stops himself just in time, opting to wonder what will happen if he tells you that he wants you to stay just a minute longer instead.

You make your way to the door, but not without stopping to give him one last advice, “You better not complain that everything is annoying every 5 seconds if you want that new guy to last more than a day. He’s been looking like a lost quokka!”

Your “warning” came out a bit too loud than you expected. Of course, it reaches Han “that new guy” Jisung’s ears and Minho hopes he remembers to give the poor kid a slice of cheesecake for free after his shift ends. You flash him an apologetic smile, turning to Jisung to convince him that his boss isn’t as bad as he seems before your phone rings.

“He’s harmless, Jisung, just make him iced Americano everyday, praise his cats, and you’re good. Okay, I have to go now or I’ll be jobless in an hour! Byeee!”

Minho’s mouth has curled into a lovesick smile at your antics, waving at you until you close the door of your car. The way you naturally calm him down surprises him everytime, it’s like you’re unaware of how much power you have over him.

God, you really own every inch of his heart, don’t you?

Second chances are overrated.

People change, but once you pay attention to them a just a liiiitle more, you realize that they’re still the same. Lee Minho believes he doesn’t deserve any second chance from you, yet he finds himself seeking forgiveness the moment he looked into your eyes again. As selfish as it sounds, Minho wants your love. Nobody else’s, just yours.

He tried to fill in the empty space you left with other people, but none of them fit. It was always too much or too little, punching him right in his gut for ever thinking that what you two had was too much, that you were too much.

Seeing you fast asleep in his living room with Soonie, Doongie and Dori is another reminder that you were never too much.

You were, and still are, his everything.

Dori opens her eyes before jumping out of your arms, making you stir. Minho quietly strokes your hair to lull you back to sleep, but soon your eyes flutter open as well. “Hmmm look who’s here… the hottest man alive,” you mumble.

Minho points at himself. “Not that I’m surprised, but thank you.”

Your sleepy smile and the breathy chuckle that comes after make his stomach flip. It’s just a simple reaction, something you probably didn’t realize doing, but it feels breathtakingly intimate and loving to Minho. A small part of you that only him can see, something that will cross his mind sometime during work, making him wish time to pass quickly so he can rush back home. To you.

Damn, he promised himself not to let him picture a life with you as the love of his life, but look at his defense crumbling right in front of you because of a mere smile.

You seem to notice his dilemma, lips forming another smile. Opening your arms, you whisper, “Come here.”

The voices in his head are drowned by your request, it’s echoing inside his head like a deathly spell. You have him in your embrace nanoseconds later, curling your hands around his neck as he completely succumbs to his longing.

Minho’s head buzzes with the need to tell you that he loves you, wants you, and misses you to the point that he almost asks you to please please please please forgive him and take him back.

“Okay.”

He lifts his head from the crook of your neck, eyes flickering to yours. You chuckle at his reaction, cupping his cheeks with your warm hands. “Say that again.”

“Say… what again?”

Minho blinks up at you, tiny groans of regret escaping his lips when he realizes that he just spilled everything out loud. “I’m sorry,” he sighs. “I wasn’t supposed to say that. I know this isn’t about me, but—”

“Did you mean it, though?”

“Of course I did,” Minho says. “But I want to go according to your pace.”

“If I didn’t want the same thing I wouldn’t be here, Minho.” Your voice is as sweet as honey, hypnotizing him into dropping his hopeless pretense. “I’ve built a new home that truly feels like home. It’s probably just a small house, filled with everything that makes me me. But it feels like a beautiful kingdom, and it’s not complete without you in it.”

You don’t have to say it; the way you hold his gaze with such a raw, pure sincerity and the way you asked him to be with you as if he’s the best person in the whole world are enough to let Minho know that he’s all forgiven.

Feeling a tug at his shirt, he meets your expectant eyes once again. “Are you going to continue staring at me like that until we fall asleep?”

The last traces his fear for disappointing you melts away as you start stroking his hair. “I love you,” he rasps, unconsciously leaning in until his lips brush over yours. “My precious moonlight, I’ll do my best so you won’t ever have to erase me again. I love you, Y/N, please don’t leave me.”

You barely manage to nod before Minho finally crashes his lips against yours, not giving you any chance to steal a breath as he lets his feelings overtake himself. He explores every part of your lips like a madman and you accept whatever he gives you, trying to keep up with his feverish kisses and letting him know that he doesn’t need to hold back.

The sudden urge to see you encourages him to pull away. Minho says nothing for a while, only looking into your eyes with silent adoration. Still breathless, you prop yourself up to reward him with a chaste kiss on the tip of his nose, the sweet gesture causing Minho to attack you with a series of playful smooches.

“How long do you think this will last?” you ask in between kisses, giggling when Minho switches your positions, you’re now lying on top of him.

“This?”

You pinch his cheek. “I gotta admit it feels kinda nice to hear you saying please so many times.”

Minho arches an eyebrow at your cheeky remark. “Is that so? Wait until you find out how much I like hearing you beg.”

“Minho!” you exclaim, dropping your head on his chest to hide your flushed cheeks. He wraps his arms around you, ready to make you even more flustered before accidentally locking eyes with his cats. You lift your head when you feel his body stills, following his gaze.

“Oh no,” you murmur. “The kids saw that, didn’t they?”

He smiles sheepishly at each of them, somehow feeling like he’s gotten caught by his parents. “This kind of thing happens when you love someone,” he attempts to joke. “So get used to it, okay kiddos?”

You nudge his chest with your chin. “God, you’re shameless.”

“They’re cats!”

“Then why are your ears so red?!”

Minho tuts. “That’s it. We need to do this more often so they’ll get used to it.”

As he silences you with another searing kiss, Minho almost malfunctions at how addicting and comforting it is to have you as his again. It’s impossible to fathom all of his feelings for you into words, yet he still hopes you’ll feel every single one of them.

And you do, because Minho is yours. Entirely yours.

“How did you pass your driving test? Did you bribe them or something?”

Hyunjin doesn’t bother to answer Seungmin’s accusation, eyes glued to the road.

“Watch it,” Minho warns monotonously while you’re gripping his hand, too scared to witness the younger trying to drive. Seungmin shrieks in horror when Hyunjin hits the break almost too late. He glares at the passenger seats where you and Minho are seated. “Hyung can you just take over? Or at least switch seats with me?”

“I can’t.” He points at you. “Y/N is scared as hell and I’m not gonna let you hold her hand.”

Hyunjin curses under his breath when several other cars pass him. “Give me a break! This is my first time driving at the highway,” he argues. “And I was supposed to borrow Chan hyung’s car! Driving your car makes it even ten times scarier!”

“Hey, what’s wrong with my car?!” your boyfriend protests.

The three men continue talking over each other, causing you to roar, “SHUT UP!! Hwang Hyunjin, if you take your hands off the wheels you’re gonna die before you even scratch the car!”

Twenty painful minutes later, Hyunjin succeeds in parallel parking the car with the help of a very frustrated Seungmin. The two boys are heading to the orphanage right away, leaving you and Minho alone for your little date.

Minho opens the trunk, setting it up quickly before pulling you to sit beside him, handing you one of the toasts he packed this morning. “Whoa, the moony park is even more beautiful during the day,” you muse, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Minho agrees. “Should we come here more often at this hour?”

“It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re with me.”

Minho snorts at your cheesy answer, but you still sense his wary from the way he keeps glancing at you from time to time. “Is this about the erasure recording you found in my room yesterday? Is that why you took me here?”

“I’m just wondering why you’re still keeping it. I thought we agreed to destroy it,” he says, doing his best to conceal his uneasiness. You initially thought it was a great idea to forget it ever happened, but no, you’re not running away. You want to accept all the consequences of the decisions you have made, especially this one.

“We did, but then I realized I didn’t want to. I don’t want to erase anything anymore, Minho. I want to live life as it is. It’s a memento from the most important period of my life, and while it hurts, it’s a part of me.” You throw your arms around him, squeezing his body until he turns to you and return your hug. “It’s also a reminder that what we have is stronger than anything, don’t you think? I erased you and I still fell in love with you again. Like an idiot.”

Relief washes over you when Minho chuckles, carefree and amused. “You’re not an idiot,” he teases. “You just have an exceptional taste, and I’m way too irresistible. Let’s face it, you were already crazy for me even before I gave you my card.”

“No I wasn’t! I just thought you were attractive!”

“I am the hottest man alive.”

You sigh. “You’ll never let me live it down.”

“No,” he affirms. “Because you’re right. It’s time to stop trying to forget our past. I’ll never forget the fact that you’re calling me the hottest man alive, just like I’ll never forget how much I’ve hurt you. And how much I’ll always try to make it up to you.”

You laugh at his comparison. “I honestly can’t tell whether we’re having a serious conversation or just trolling each other.”

“It’s my talent, baby. Life is always fun with me.”

Although the park has become more crowded and your boyfriend is never big on PDA, you have no choice but giving him a kiss on his cheek. “You don’t have to do anything for me,” you whisper. “Just love me.”

“Hmm.” His lips stretch into a loving smile, the one smile reserved for your eyes only. “That I do.”

Minho isn’t a prince charming who sweeps you off your feet. He is your wandering prince and you’re his moonlight, illuminating his gloomy world. You show him that he doesn’t have to wander for the rest of his life, that he can call you home and stay.

And Minho will always be with you, showering you with the love you deserve. He’ll be the one who fight the demons for you and with you, he’ll be the one who reminds you over and over again how strong and precious you are whenever you lose faith in yourself. Together, you are moonlit. Together, you are complete.

[greeksorceress]

Our boy, Johnny Cade, and Two!! ☺️

Johnny Cade

favorite thing about them: he has a heart of gold. he tells dally to stop harassing cherry and marcia, tries to cheer pony up and make him see that darryl actually loves him without invalidating his feelings, thinks the best of dally even though he has very visible flaws, didn't regret saving those kids no matter what happened at the end... and it can go on and on. i don't think he was perfect, but i do think that he's such a good person.

least favorite thing about them: it's probably the down-side of believing the best about everyone. i wish he had been less influenceable/trusting in some parts and had had more of a critical mind. i think he was so scared of losing the gang's love that he sometimes didn't stop to think before doing things :((

favorite line: i could go on and on about his lines, because i've liked every single thing he said, but his entire letter to pony? amazing, it will never not make me tear up. "Ponyboy, I asked the nurse to give you this book so you could finish it. The doctor came in a while ago but I already knew it anyway. I keep getting tireder and tireder. Listen,I don't mind dying now. It was worth it. It was worth saving those kids. Their lives are worth more than mine, they have more to live for. Some of the parents came by to thank me and I know it was worth it. Tell Dally it was worth it. I'm just gonna miss you guys. I've been thinking about it, and that poem, that guy that wrote it,he meant you are gold when you're a kid, like green. When you're a kid everything is new,dawn. It's just. When just when you get used to everything it's day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That's gold. Keep it that way, it's a good way to be. I want you to tell Dally to look at one. He'll probably think you're crazy,but ask for me. I don't think he's ever really seen a sunset. And don't be bugged over being a greaser. You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want. There's still a lot of good in the world. Tell Dally. I don't think he knows. Your Buddy, Johnny." 💔

brOTP: johnny and pony will be the most iconic pair of best friends ever! but i also love how two-bit and steve care so much about him and treat him like their own younger brother! i love johnny's friendship with all the gang, honestly.

OTP: jally! i said this when talking about dallas, but for me this ship is just very important. they have the strongest, most beautiful kind of skinny love ever. a love to go to the end of the world together.

nOTP: i haven't seen anyone ship darry and johnny and i'm thankful for that because that's... like, no. big no. no in capitals.

random headcanon: he wears denim overalls. he digs photography. his favorite book is peter pan. is the fastest runner in the neighbourhood. unlike dally, he likes kids, but he doesn't know how to act around them and gets a bit anxious when babies get fussy. bites his lip a lot when anxious.

unpopular opinion: johnny far from helpless. he's the one with the most street-smarts in the whole gang, apart from dallas. when the incident with bob happens, he keeps his head cool enough to seek for dally's help instead of panicking. he gets the bleach and the idea of changing their looks. he know show to keep warn in the lot and start fires as we can see right before pony runs back home after they both fell asleep. he has survived through so much all by himself. he doesn't need dally or anyone else to save him. and he's just as smart as ponyboy is, just differently.

favorite picture of them:

song i associate with them:

Two-Bit Mathews

favorite thing about them: his sense of humour, of course! he's honestly very funny to me. and also, i love how much he cares for the youngest members of the group, and how he's always worrying about johnny like an actual older brother.

least favorite thing about them: two makes a couple of very... not good comments in the book. and before anyone here comes at me with the 'it was the 60s', i know. and it doesn't change my opinion.

favorite line: "Then pity the back seat" is very iconic omg but i really like this part: "Shut up talkin' like that," Two-Bit said fiercely, messing up Johnny's hair. "We couldn't get along without you, so you can just shut up!" <3

brOTP: johnny and him! best older brother and younger brother duo ever! also, i think his dynamics with darry could be so much fun too! and with dally too!

OTP: I like dar-bit, but i feel like i prefer the way i write them or the way part of the fandom portrays them together than the actual relationship they would have agdsfghasf i feel like they wouldn't last more than two months together lmao and i also like stevebit a lot! and of course, my boy and marcia would be so perfect!

nOTP: i'm not sure... i don't think i have one?

random headcanon: his socks never match. has braided his sister's hair. can jump really high. is the one that gets more excited about christmas. can do different kind of impersonations, from voices to animal sounds.

unpopular opinion: this is not an unpopular opinion, it's just more something i don't like seeing i guess, and it's people using his problem with alcohol as comic relief.

favorite picture of them:

song i associate with them:

[rawr-ily]

A Stupidly Long Bokuto Analysis

CEO of thought dumping and calling glamorized rants “essays”

I already made a character analysis for my kin character (Oikawa) so here’s one for my favorite/ultimate comfort character :)

"The world" is a recurring theme with Bokuto. He has a strange habit of always looking at the bigger picture. By which I mean, he doesn’t really look out for little details. He's simple minded, so he takes things at face value. Tokyo isn't enough for him. Japan isn't enough. Asia isn't enough. He wants the world. He doesn't care if it seems like too much, or if it's unreasonable. He knows what he wants, and he's going to get it.

This is more noticeable in the manga. For example, there's the iconic "No matter what they say, we are the protagonists of the world" . Yes, I know Akaashi is the one the says this line, but it really mainly applies to Bokuto. We know Bokuto has this strange sort of charisma that makes him ridiculously likable to pretty much anyone. Now, I REALLY didn't wanna make this about Akaashi, but it seems like that's actually Furudate's intention. It's almost as though he didn't want to give us direct access to Bokuto's thoughts for most of the series. Instead, how did we get that? Akaashi. Akaashi is the narrator for Bokuto's thoughts. Bokuto is so random, so unique and strange, that it wouldn't make sense for us to have access to his mind. Yes, we get direct thoughts from him time to time, but Akaashi is the one who really tells us most of it. He's there to filter out Bokuto's thoughts because it would be too strange for us to understand. We would never be able to figure out Bokuto because he can't even figure out himself. That's technically Akaashi's "purpose" in the story. I don't mean that in a bad way though. I would explain more, but I wanna keep this about Bokuto as much as possible.

ANYWAY, we can sort of see Akaashi as an "extension" of Bokuto. When Akaashi says "we are the protagonists of the world", he is not talking to himself or the reader. He's talking to Bokuto, because he knows Bokuto wants the world. Another thing about this quote is that he begins with "No matter what they say..." This kind of made me to a double take. Why would someone say they aren't? But then I remembered in the manga, we get a scene of Bokuto running with some classmates. It was probably for a gym class of sorts. It's Bokuto's turn to set the pace for their run, and everybody's upset because he always goes too fast and too overboard. Bokuto doesn't really notice, and he goes forth anyway. However, after a while, he looks back and realizes nobody is running with him anymore.

Sound familiar? Kageyama's teammates left him in the same way Bokuto's did. They couldn't keep up, so they abandoned them. We're more familiar with Kageyama's past, so it's a bit easier to understand Bokuto's if you see that little parallel. I might be reaching a little here, but it's possible that people have told Bokuto that the world doesn't revolve around him in the same way Kageyama was mockingly called a king. It's a common thing said to people like Bokuto, who don't really understand much outside their own head. It's not a bad thing, but many people misinterpret it as arrogance or a disregard for others. Bokuto's charisma apparently didn't work for everyone, considering how annoyed his classmates were; I think it's a possibility that people made some snide remarks.

We also see that Bokuto is actually incredibly desperate for validation. He constantly brags about his amazing talent, always wants people to see the cool things he does, and thrives off compliments. He wants attention, and that's not a bad thing at all. It just means he wants people to acknowledge how great he is, and he feels happy when they do. That's really just scraping the surface of all that quote tells us, but I want to move on to something else.

Another recurring thing about Bokuto is his use of the word "ordinary" It seems that he doesn't really understand what the word means, but I think he knows its meaning better than anyone. Bokuto using the word first stood out to me when Fukurodani player a difficult match against another school in Nationals. I'm not too familiar with the timeline, so correct me if I'm wrong. Bokuto told the rest of Fukurodani that, up until that point, he was "an ace coddled by his team" and now he's ready to be "just an ace". He wants to be an ordinary ace, which seems quite strange. This is Bokuto, and wants to be ordinary?

Bokuto has a different understanding of "ordinary" than most people do. He's simple minded, not stupid. It's not that he doesn't think; he just thinks differently. He's that unique type of person who thinks out of the box by default. When most people think of ordinary, we think of boring, plain, normal. It's been given a negative connotation by most people. Bokuto doesn't listen to connotation.

Remember that he takes things at face value? This is an example. To us, ordinary is boring. To him, it's a goal. Bokuto sees ordinary as what things are supposed to be. He wants to be an ordinary ace. Aces are supposed to be the awesome, powerful stars of the team. Aces are supposed to be the best. He wants to be the best. Therefore, he wants to be an ordinary ace. It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to fully understand that entire bit, to be honest.

It's actually more clearly stated in one of the last manga chapters after MSBY vs. Schweiden. Akaashi interviews Bokuto for the manga company he works at, and Bokuto tells him that he has become "ordinary". Akaashi is confused and tells Bokuto that he has never been ordinary. Bokuto laughs and makes some remark about how Akaashi didn't realize just how ordinary he's become. We get a little throwback to Akaashi's 0.5 second thought process, and he realizes immediately that Bokuto doesn't use the word "ordinary" like he does. Even more impressive, he seems to also realize exactly what he means by it. Akaashi tells him that he (Akaashi) was mistaken and Bokuto is actually "super ordinary".

THIS PART TOOK ME A GOOD TWENTY MINUTES, AND AKAASHI DID IT IN 0.5 SECONDS. He's the real master at Bokuto analysis. Though Bokuto doesn't get enough serious background, so he's a difficult one to analyze. It's also much harder to put him into words? Again, he's a very unique character. He even has a surprising amount of duality in him. Though we as a fandom perceive him as an optimist, it seems his mood swings often force him into a state of overwhelming pessimism. I actually find it quite funny. It's almost like his left brain and right brain are fighting a battle, and left brain almost loses but summons the strength to momentarily completely overwhelm right brain before it takes back control. I got a very strange visual from that though.

Regardless, it just means I think his mind tries to balance out his naive optimism with intense flashes of pessimism. Bokuto gives his all to EVERYTHING. That's actually sort of an issue for him. If he's happy, he's VERY happy. If he's upset, he's VERY upset. He wants to be the best at all he doesbecause he just wants to have fun. He's not having fun when he loses, so he doesn't want to lose. It's so simple, but it's strangely inspiring. It's the straightforward answer to Tsukishima's question. Why do we push ourselves to be the best when we know there is no such thing? What motivates us? Our desire to win. What makes us want to win? Our desire to win is fueled by hatred for losing. Why don't we want to lose? We don't want to lose because it's not fun. Why isn't it fun? It just isn't. Bokuto doesn't try to dig for those answers. After all, why is anything the way it is? What does it matter? He doesn't care as long as he's enjoying himself.

I suppose that's one of the nice parts of being so simple minded. He's able to enjoy life to the fullest because he doesn't want to focus on things he doesn't like. That means his future character growth will be about having to do things he doesn't like because that's a part of life. It'll actually be quite sad to watch Bokuto grow up. What he needs to do is find a balance for all the duality in him so he doesn't need to give up his childishness or force out his mature side. If he can find a balance, it just means he'll be able to do both when he needs to. If he can do that, he'll get through everything life throws at him. He can still have fun.

He doesn't get enough serious screen time, so I can't really say anymore about him that can be reinforced by things from the anime or manga. This was only around 1.5K, so hopefully it was a pretty easy read? I still don't wanna edit this, so just tell me if things don't make sense! Also, please remember that Bokuto IS NOT AN IDIOT, SO PLEASE STOP CALLING HIM ONE IF IT’S NOT FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES. Thank you :)

[doomdaysdecays]

𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚢 (𝚙𝚝. 𝟺)

CW: creepy whumpee (☝), referenced murder, obsessive mindset, slight violence

<- prev.

Villain took their seat opposite from Sidekick who was watching their movements intently.

Taking them out of their cell like this had once been the last thing he’d wanted to do, however, he was running out of options on how to act towards them. As uncomfortable as Villain was with the change, all he truly wanted to achieve with this move was restoring some of Sidekick’s goddamn dignity. They couldn’t have been serious, kneeling before Villain voluntarily, even after most recent events. Now that the two of them were seated at the same table, eye to eye almost as equals, Villain was hoping for a bit of normalcy.

“So.” He folded his hands on the table and looked Sidekick in the eyes. “What is your deal, really? Are you even aware of what you did?”

“I killed Hero,” said Sidekick.

“Why?”

Sidekick glanced down, shy almost, but Villain knew better than that.

“Why?” he snapped before he could contain himself, “I’m sick and tired of figuring what’s wrong with you. Tell me what you were thinking, for fuck’s sake!”

“He was in the way!” Sidekick cried, slamming their bound wrists onto the tabletop. Another sudden snap disrupting their regular calm manner. They were staring off into the distance, hatred in their eyes.

“In the way of what, Sidekick?” Villain muttered, taken aback. Their outbursts were random as they were intense, and he was too prone to headaches to provoke them more. “What was Hero in the way of that was important enough to murder him? To betray your icon?”

Sidekick seemed to be trembling with anger. “My icon?” they scoffed, their crazed eyes staring straight into Villain’s as they leaned forward. “What are you saying, Master?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“But why not, Master?”

For fuck’s sake. Villain’s nails were digging deeply into his own palms, red hot fury and disgust clouding his mind. He backhanded the restrained Sidekick before he knew he was moving.

They jerked hard to the side with the impact before locking eyes with Villain again. Joy so clear in their expression, a smile. “Oh, Master.”

Villain jolted forward to grab a fistful of their hair, yanking them closer to himself across the table. The yelp that escaped Sidekick gave him momentary satisfaction that passed too soon.

“Listen, you creepy little bitch,” Villain snarled right into their face, with a growl as well as a hint of desperation. “You’re lucky I’ve been allowing you to live, and all you pay me back with is this fucked up little show. And I’m not your Master.”

He let go with a shove to Sidekick’s chest, sending them backwards to hit the floor. Villain’s labored breathing was the only sound to be heard. He began to chew on his lip in utter frustration, and God he couldn’t have lied. He missed Hero so much.

“I didn’t want to do this.” Sidekick’s voice was quiet as it was threatening. Villain tensed, frozen in place. What now? One more ‘Master’, and he would–

“But I guess you need me to.” Sidekick stood gratefully, rubbing their freed wrists. Wait. “To learn what we can be,” they said. “I’ll show you.”

Villain scrambled to get to his feet, he needed to think but there was no time to. Their restraints had vanished, not a trace left besides the light bruises around each of Sidekick’s wrists. No, no way.

“How the fuck did you–” Villain staggered backwards, distance, he needed distance between him and them. “You don’t have such abilities. The public would know.” He reassured himself with information he’d only ever known was facts. “You’re not capable of– of doing that. You’re Sidekick, goddamnit.”

Sidekick’s shoulders slumped in a lazy shrug as they raised their hands for Villain to see. “And yet I’m free,” they said nonchalantly. “Don’t give me that look, Master. What kind of a Devotee would I be if I hadn’t kept this little secret just for you?” A small smile played around their lips, yet they looked solemn.

Pure cold and horror invaded Villain’s chest with an icy grip. “Devotee?”

“Yessir.”

Villain found themselves pressed flush against the wall in the blink of an eye. All he could think was just how ridiculous this was, how unrealistic. What kind of power had Sidekick kept from the public, from Hero?

“I’ll give myself to you,” Sidekick muttered next to his ear, their breath hot like a warning against Villain’s neck. “You just have to let me.”

Villain didn’t process what happened after that.

ask to be added/removed anytime.

tag list: @twistedcaretaker @reblogging-whump @grizzlie70 @whatwasmyprevioususername @cupcakes-and-pain @onestopheroxvillain 

[oneletterelliot]

Hot Sauce (NCT Dream) - liveblog reaction

Disclaimer: I did listen to this album once through already, plus the previews and whatnot, so this is not quite a first impression reaction.

Hot Sauce - Is it just me or do the opening shouty vocals not sound like any of the dreamies? Chenle’s line. I was NOT ready for how low his voice was? It sounds so good. The mumbly nonsense bit sounds kinda like that one song that gets memed a bunch, doesn’t it? The vocal quality to Jeno’s rapping here really reminds me of how he sounded in “Misfit.” I think I like it. Lots of good harmony moments. Renjun’s voice is lovely as always. I’m digging his and Chenle’s harmonizing in the bridge. Haechan’s high note. Yes. I like the beat of this song. Definitely makes me want to dance. Mark going, “I’m the one!” I’m a fan. More “Hot Sauce” thoughts here.

Diggity - Okay, so based of the dreamverse (that’s what it’s called, right?) video, I said here that I didn’t love the song but I liked the choreography a lot. Not loving the song is holding up for now, but it definitely has the vibe of one of those NCT songs that I don’t originally care for but the more I listen to it, the more I like it (see also “Punch”). It is pretty catchy. Renjun’s voice is swaying me, I’ll admit. Also I do really like the instrumental. I think it’s the rap I’m not sold on (yet). Is that Jisung’s low voice at 2:49 underneath the higher harmonies? I’m kind of into it. God, I didn’t even watch the dreamverse video that much but I can so clearly picture the choreo while listening to this song, it’s that good.

Dive Into You - I love this opening arpeggio instrumental. Thinking about Jisung’s voice again. I always forget how much I it. I really like the chorus, nice harmony and fun melody. Renjun’s and Haechan’s ad libs (I think it’s them at least) make me happy. 2:07, Jisung’s voice again? (Edit: I looked it up and yes, of course, it’s Jisung. It’s just that for a second I thought it could be Chenle because...) Tbh my brain has been rattled by Chenle’s lower register he displayed in “Hot Sauce.” I want more of it. Is that Renjun who closes the song? Sounds good. (Edit: It’s CHENLE actually. Uh-oh, Renjun, look out, he might be coming for your crown as my favorite NCT Dream vocalist lmao.)

My Youth - This song sounds SO coming-of-age movie. Of course it’s called “My Youth.” I know I keep gushing about Renjun’s voice, but he always sounds so good holy shit. Jisung’s voice again! I guess I’m gonna keep gushing about him too. Oh, Mark, you sound amazing too. Whoever is rapping at the 2 minute mark (Jaemin?), the cadence of this bit really reminds of the “baby, it’s 4:35 / maybe I’m barely alive” part of Maroon 5’s “Girls Like You” lmao. Mashup, when? The “ooh-ooh-ooh”s over the chorus sound amazing. Oh my god, the harmony in the bridge is SO GOOD. My brain couldn’t even focus on thinking about which of the Dream vocal trio was singing it, but damn, it was so good. (Edit: According to the lyric video I looked it, it was Renjun/Chenle harmony I was reacting to, and then a Chenle/Jisung harmony! Jisung’s harmonies this album have been really nice!!)

Rocket - Funky start. Supremely makes me want to dance. I think this would be a cha cha, but there is something a little samba-y about the beat. I know I, like, haven’t said anything about the vocals—I do like them—I’m just enjoying this beat / instrumental so much. No thoughts, only vibing. Digging the vocal mixing of the chorus. I’m shoulder-dancing in my seat as I listen to this. “Yeah, yeah!” Strong contender for my favorite song off the album. Shit, maybe it is a samba? Man, it’s been so long since I’ve gotten to ballroom dance :(

Countdown (3, 2, 1) - Oh, what time is it? IS THAT CHENLE’S ICONIC DOLPHIN LAUGH UNDER MARK’S VOICE? Renjun’s voice here reminds me a bit of “Ridin’,” so you know I like it because I believe in Renjun “Ridin’” supremacy. This also might end up being a song that I don’t really like until I listen to it a several more times. You know that thing in the instrumental that sounds like “90s Love?” Yeah. Mark sounds good in this song. I bet this song samples something. Not clue what. But I just Feel™ it does. Haechan’s high note at the end of the bridge did not do it for me, sorry bud :( Oh, I guess I like Mark’s “tick tick tock” bit.

ANL - Intro feels VERY similar to “Dive Into You,” doesn’t it? Same kind of feeling with the arpeggios, yeah? Like “My Youth,” it would feel right at home in a coming-of-age movie. 1:12, did they just say, “Yeah, we can bang all day?” “YEAH, I GIVE IT TO YOU EVERY NIGHT” ?!?!?!?!?!??! IS THIS A SONG ABOUT SEX? IT SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT BE A SONG ABOUT SEX? (No comment on the fact that “ANL” looks like............. well, you know.) (Edit: So apparently it’s “we can PAINT all day,” but the other line is actually “I give it to you every night,” which is, hmm, well.) 1:51, is this Jaemin? I like it a surprisingly large amount. (Edit: Yes, it’s Jaemin. Is this the comeback that makes me fall in love with his rapping? Hmm.) This song also makes me want to dance, but in a different way than “Hot Sauce” or “Rocket.” RENJUN IN THE BRIDGE?! THE HARMONY?! VERY NICE HONESTLY. Is this Jisung after the bridge at 2:53? Wow, I really do like his voice, huh? (Edit: yes, it’s Jisung, so jk, Jaemin, the rapper I’m falling in love with this come back is him and not you.) The line “I want to be your sunshine, girl” makes me cringe. The type of English line they’d give to Johnny in an NCT 127 song.

Irreplaceable - This song is SO funky, and I love it. I’ve said before that Haechan’s voice isn’t my favorite (I acknowledge he’s a very good singer; the tonal quality of it just doesn’t appeal to me personally), but it does fit this song very well. Kind of has a Motown, Jackson 5 vibe, which I really dig. Another song that makes me want to dance. Another contender for — did Jaemin just say “climax” (1:31)? I’m sorry? (Edit: Look, I know that’s not an inherently sex-related word, and that’s obviously not how it’s being used here, but it’s just a funny word to be used for the one random English word in the middle of the song, you know?) — my favorite song off the album. “Yeah, we about to hug and kiss,” okay, Mark. I don’t know why, but I really want to do the “Touch” dance with the arms to this song?

Be There For You - It makes sense to put the ballad after the bop that was “Irreplaceable.” I haven’t really been following all the promotional material for this album, but this is a vocal trio unit song, right? It kind of reminds of “My Everything.” Like, there’s a range of type of NCT ballad, and I think this and “My Everything” fall into the same category. 1:22, god, Renjun, your voice is so good. (I know my favoritism is showing so hard but whatever, I don’t care. I love his voice.) I like the backing harmonies. Very soft. I probably won’t listen to this song much, simply because I don’t listen to ballads much (Chinese ballads notwithstanding) but I do like it.

Rainbow - Back to the coming-of-age vibes like in “Dive Into You” and “ANL.” I can’t decide if I like the similar vibes for cohesiveness of the album or if I dislike it because I think they’re too similar. Wow, this is really a “get your lighter and/or cellphone out and wave in the air” kind of song, huh. Rap at 1:40 (Jisung?), I like it. (Sorry, the title “Rainbow” is just reminding me of how I recently told my parents, “oh, I think this guy I went to high school with is queer because he has the rainbow flag emoji in his insta bio,” and my dad said, “maybe he just really likes colors.” PLEASE.) The harmonies are nice. Renjun’s ad libs towards the end (3:05-3:17 ish), yes. I like the song, it won’t be a favorite, but this is a nice note to end the album on.

Over all thoughts: It’s a good album. Really enjoyable and definitely feels cohesive. I love the mix of peppy, dancey energy and this kind of soft yearning coming-of-age feeling. It makes a lot of sense for NCT Dream’s first full album. Chenle and Jisung are both pleasantly surprising me, and I’m looking forward to seeing how their voices continue to develop in the future. (Side note: SM, please let Chenle sing in his lower register more! His high voice is lovely, but so is his low voice!) Favorite songs currently are “Rocket” and “Irreplaceable.” 

[romiithebirdie]

Epilogue for the Lost - Chapter 4

Had it been fair to make such a critical assumption about Kacchan? 

Izuku chewed his food slowly, staring deeply into his rice bowl like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. Several children ran past in the hallway beside the kitchen and he lowered his head all the more, praying nobody would try to speak to him.

The previous night had been... Stressful to say the least and it had taken a mental toll on him. He hoped that he wouldn't be shoved back into group therapy after this whole mess.

Child Protective Services and the police had arrived to escort him to a temporary Foster Home while U.A's Principal Nedzu made preparations to move Izuku into U.A High School's dormitory building until his mother recovered.

The dorms were a last resort for students who had a long way to travel or came from working class families who were struggling financially. Izuku's case didn't exactly fit the usual criteria but it was the best option and Izuku had been happy to accept the offer.

He'd already been back at his apartment and packed a few things to take with him to the dorm and he hadn't been eager to hang around the empty home. The silence gave him a feeling of great discomfort and he could barely hold back his emotions upon seeing the signs of struggle during his mother's attack.

As devastated as he was, he was so thankful that she was still here.

The television from the Home's lounge blared in the background, the fuzzy sound system broadcasting what sounded like the news.

They were talking about something that sounded important; Ketsubutsu Academy High School, he thought he'd heard being mentioned. Izuku knew that school all too well, with it being the rival school to U.A during their monthly events that included athletics competitions and literacy contests.

Ketsubutsu, like U.A, was a famous school for their top performing student records. Izuku mused that whatever the reporter was talking about probably had something to do with some kind of major event the school had recently won or something along those lines. The male reporter was blathering on, using all sorts of long words that Izuku didn't care to hear this early in the morning.

His mind was still occupied with trying to get over his late-night visit back to his apartment with the police.

Izuku had truly felt completely numb after walking around his deserted family home. It had physically hurt watching his guardians lock the doors and as they drove away, he had finally allowed himself to break down in the back of the car.

The eerie silence and the lack of the familiar warmth and welcoming air about the apartment gave off a haunting feeling.

It honestly felt to him like somebody had died there.

Thank God that hadn't happened.

Whenever he thought about wandering the apartment's seclusive structure, it gave him a sense of complete uneasiness which wasn't a nice feeling. At all.

He just wanted to go back home and see the warm, welcoming smile of his mother again.

                                                             .-.-.-.-.

 "Hey, you hear the news?"

Izuku glanced up from his phone, attention on Eijiro Kirishima, Denki Kaminari and Hanta Sero talking in the corner of 1-A's classroom.

"Yeah, man. His poor family," Sero acknowledged with a nod of his head.

Kaminari cocked a brow up, "Uh no, I didn't. What happened?"

Both Kirishima and Sero exchanged an uncomfortable glance before Kirishima opened his mouth to answer;

"Yo Shindo's body was found this morning just a few yards away from Ketsubutsu's main gate."

Izuku almost dropped his phone in surprise.

Yo Shindo was a highly intelligent student who always finished in the top three for any event he took part in. His strategic ability had always been something to truly admire. Now the three boys were saying he was dead?

Had that really happened?

The three boys were all friendly members of Izuku's class, there was no way they'd make up something so horrible.

"It's not looking good," Sero shook his head. "Can't imagine what they're going through."

"Yeah, real messed up stuff," Kirishima frowned, digging both hands in his blazer pockets. "Whoever did this was so unmanly. Shindo never hurt anybody in his life."

Which was a true statement; Shindo did have a cocky side to him and he schemed a lot during their school competitions...But it was never malicious, he just liked to have strategies to win. Nobody could fault him for that.

Odd how his mother had been attacked yesterday and now a new body had been discovered. Though they hadn't been friends, he was student from a different school that Izuku had been familiar with. Could there be a connection?

"Was anything mentioned about strange writing carved into the skin?" Izuku stood up to face them before his brain could even process what he was doing.

All three boys turned on him, all looking puzzled by the quiet boy's question. Izuku immediately felt his cheeks flare up when he realised how loud he'd been. Several other classmates glanced in his direction and he suddenly wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

"Uh, don't think so," Sero answered with a shrug, thankfully noticing Izuku's nervous disposition and choosing to ignore it with a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, same with me," Kirishima agreed before his face morphed into an expression of concern. "How have you been doing, Midoriya? We know you're going through a lot right now but we're all here for you if you ever needed to talk."

As nervous as Izuku had been with his new classmates on their first day, he was relieved that they were nothing like the students from Aldera Junior High. He was mainly ignored by everybody in Aldera, due to most of the kids being freaked out by his random outbursts in the past. Meanwhile, the U.A students were all friendly faces which felt...surreal to the green-haired teen if he had to be truly honest with himself.

Despite this, he had gotten quite close with all of the members of 1-A. However, he wasn't in the best mood to start socialising due to the evening prior.

"I-I appreciate it," Izuku gave the three boys a wobbly smile before returning back to his phone. He hoped he had sounded as grateful as he felt, the other teens seemed to understand and went back to their own conversation which was a godsend to Izuku.

Allowing himself to let out a tiny sigh in relief, he then quickly logged into his phone internet and immediately began searching for the latest news stories. With a few clicks, he found what he was searching for;

BODY FOUND OUTSIDE MUSUTAFU SCHOOL GROUNDS

There were a lot more articles listed below the top search.

HIGH SCHOOL SET TO CLOSE WHILE INVESTIGATION GOES UNDERWAY

KETSUBUTSU HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT  IDENTIFIED AS SECOND YEAR

Izuku clicked on the third article that identified the victim's name. Scrolling down, he noticed a part of the document that made him feel slightly queasy upon reading it.

The teen was pronounced dead on sight. Along with various stab wounds, a large slash-wound was found across his neck which authorities have confirmed to be the cause of this tragic outcome. Our thoughts and prayers are with this boy's family.

Izuku chewed on his bottom lip, a nagging thought in the back of the head about whether or not these two major incidents had been connected or not. It was just weird that both attacks happened around the same areas and had occurred several hours after one another.

Maybe he should stop looking into it and leave the investigation to the police. After all, he still had the undead clamouring for his attention so he had enough to deal with as it was.

Still… Izuku glanced at the news article one last time before closing it completely and placing his phone back into his bag.

Perhaps it would be best to not look further into these things.

His phone buzzed from inside the back and he let out a small sigh, deciding whether or not to check it. From the singular motion, he'd probably either received a notification from the device or a text message.

It'd make sense to leave it until after class but then again…

What if it was his mother checking in on him?

With that in mind, Izuku immediately snatched his bag from the ground and rummaged around inside the front pockets until his fingers stroked the familiar plastic phone case.

It was a text message, judging from the little blinking envelope icon. Izuku unlocked the device with an apology ready to write to explain that his teacher would be arriving shortly.

However, the message wasn't from his mother.

Frowning slightly at the UNKNOWN NUMBER across his phone screen, Izuku hovered his finger over the touchpad before quickly pressing on the Read button.

Hi Deku.

Izuku froze in his seat, his entire body going rigid.

What the hell was this?

The only person that had ever called him Deku was...

He winced at the memory, knowing that he should've probably just ignored the mystery texter but his fingers acted before his brain could catch up.

  Who is this? 

How did you get this number?

Another message immediately appeared under the first one;

 You'll see soon enough.

 Was that supposed to be some kind of threat? 

Swallowing thickly, Izuku stared at the screen completely frozen in place. What on earth did you say in response to something like that? 

Oh one more thing. You know what happened with your mother?

The teen inhaled slowly. Three dots appeared, indicating the person was typing.

Should he switch the phone off?

But then it buzzed for the final time and he bit down on his bottom lip, dreading whatever was about to be said. 

And he was right to feel anxious about it; 

  That bitch had it coming.

[thekillerssluts]

We’ve Got A File On You: Win Butler

In a year when a lot of our plans have been on hold, Win Butler has been busy. In April, the Arcade Fire ringleader let us know that the band had been working on music shortly before lockdown, and then he let us hear some of it. Last week, on the night of the election, the band debuted a new song called “Generation A.” Apparently, Butler was one of the people who found quarantine more inspiring than suffocating. Just a couple weeks ago, he amended his previous hints with the update that he’s written “two or three” Arcade Fire albums thanks to having to stay still all year long.

It seems like there’ll be a whole lot of new Arcade Fire goings-on to parse sometime on the horizon, but that isn’t the reason Butler and I got on the phone one recent October afternoon. Butler’s not quite ready to talk about forthcoming music yet, aside from saying this era of writing gives him flashbacks to that which preceded The Suburbs and promising “The new shit is about some of the best shit we’ve ever done” as we say goodbye.

In the meantime, there have been some milestones this year: The Suburbs turned 10; Butler turned 40. There is, of course, a whole lot of rich Arcade Fire history between their early ’00s origins and now. There are too many high-profile collabs to dig through, too many pop culture crossovers to cover, in just one conversation. But before Arcade Fire’s next chapter begins, while we both had a moment of quiet at home in the year 2020, Butler and I took some time to dig back through highlights and surprises from across his career.

Appearing In Bill & Ted Face The Music (2020)

How did this happen?

WIN BUTLER: They were filming in New Orleans. I’m kind of the exact age where Bill & Ted really has a soft spot in my worldview. [Laughs] That was just like, yeah, of course I want to be in the Future Council. That’s the part I was born to play. No, it’s funny, it was just one of these random things that come through the email. Usually, it’s, “Nope, nope, nope, nope.” But this was, “Tell me when, tell me where, I’ll be there.” It was on soundstages. When we were filming it, Tommy Lee from Mötley Crüe was back there, and he sort of disappeared at some point. I got to bring my son, who’s six. He was hanging out and we were talking to Keanu about Canada and punk bands back in the day. It was a pretty sweet hang. It was a bright spot in 2020, let me put it that way.

You say you get these emails — is that random stuff they want Arcade Fire to do, or there’ve been other cameos you turned down?

BUTLER: Oh, no, it’s mostly random licensing or stuff that goes to the junk box. But every once in a while, it’s like, “Hey, that sounds like a nice way to spend the day.” I started out in film. I went to Sarah Lawrence College in New York around 2000. I had really wanted to go to film school, and I could never get in. [Laughs] Initially, the song “The Suburbs” was an idea I had for a film and it seemed easier to make a song than a film.

The Suburbs (2010)

That was a convenient segue. The Suburbs just turned 10. I was wondering if you have gone back and revisited it much amidst that anniversary.

BUTLER: The whole experience of Funeral was such a rollercoaster. We were on the road so long. We didn’t have much of a break going into the second record. For The Suburbs, Régine and I — I don’t think we saw anyone for a year straight before we even started demoing or anything for that record.

It was a time in my life… I don’t know, I was in my late twenties, and there were all these details of my childhood in Houston. You know, I moved to Canada when I was 19. [Houston] almost felt like this other life I had. I would close my eyes and imagine riding my bike through town and trying to find the edges of my memory. There was kind of all this emotion that came up through that, and I wanted to capture it. It’s funny, as a songwriter, most of the time I feel like my mind is living in the near future. You’re listening for these little signals in the air. This was almost inhabiting the emotional space of these memories but thinking about it as the future.

When you say it like that, I’m curious if the album feels different to you now that you’re a father yourself and another 10 years down the line. Like another layer to that refracted youth, sort of?

BUTLER: Totally. In a way, I feel like the last year has been a parallel to that year before The Suburbs. Then I was kind of a hermit by choice, and this has more been the world conspiring to make me a hermit, but it has been a really introspective. In a sense, the material that we’ve been working on feels the same way, this hybrid of your emotional landscape and the future.

It’s almost seasonal, like a trade wind that blows in once in a while. I remember we played with Neil Young when he was still doing the Bridge School Benefit and hearing him sing “Old Man” as an old man, almost like he wrote the song when he was 22 to sing when he was 80. I think there’s an element on that Suburbs record that’s like that as well.

Winning The Grammy For Album Of The Year (2011)

Obviously that was a huge turning point for Arcade Fire because you won the Grammy the following year. As a suburban indie fan at the time, I had no real grasp on how big certain bands were. From where I was, it was pretty trippy that you guys won that.

BUTLER: I mean, tell me about it. It was definitely pretty trippy.

There are very, very early moments of you guys getting linked up with some iconic artists. Arcade Fire got plenty of respect from the beginning. But at the same time, the Grammys is something different. That’s a moment of mainstream insurgency. Ten years on, you’re one of the big indie bands of your generation, but also one of the only rock bands to get to that level in recent times.

BUTLER: I don’t know it was the best record that year, but it was definitely the best record nominated that year. I mean, we were up against a Lady Gaga remix record and like, Katy Perry. We weren’t up against a great Eminem record, we were up against a not-that-great Eminem record. In a certain sense, I was like, “Well, I think we should win.” [Laughs] I think we had the best record.

I remember in high school Radiohead and Björk were the two [new artists I loved]. I bought The Bends the day it came out, I bought Homogenic the day it came out. And then everything else I listened to was artists that had broken up 20 years earlier. I remember watching the Grammys the year OK Computer was nominated and it didn’t win, and I was just like, “Oh, that thing must not mean anything then.” I remember Dylan won, and it’s a really great Dylan record, but objectively OK Computer was the best record. So if that didn’t win, then what the hell does that thing mean? After that, I didn’t think about the Grammys that much. It wasn’t on my list of my dreams of my career and what I could accomplish and what I wanted to do.

For me, I was looking more at a band like the Cure or New Order, these bands that were really just artistic entities but you would hear them at a pharmacy once in a while. Like, I’d hear “Bizarre Love Triangle” come on in the pharmacy in Houston and just be like, “Is this from outer space? What the fuck is this?” My dreams for our band was to do for other people what those bands did for me, which was just throw me a fucking lifeline. Because I was just like, “What is this world, and where are my people, and how can I feel OK existing?” My grandfather played in big bands and played with Louis Armstrong, and he bought me a guitar when I was 15. I held on to that thing — if I didn’t have that I don’t think I would’ve made it out of high school. It literally saved my life. I don’t think I could exist without that.

For me, the Grammy thing was strangely moving. Even up until the moment we won, I just felt like an interloper. Even when we won, people looked at us like aliens. Like, “Who? What?” You know, I’m a competitive person. It was really exciting. Cool, awesome, the universe makes sense for one second. It’s interesting, I didn’t expect it to mean anything until we won, and then it meant something.

David Bowie (2005, 2013, Throughout)

I alluded to this earlier but: The Grammys were like an industry stamp of approval. From the beginning, however, you guys were embraced by a lot of elder artists — particularly artists who were influences on the band. One I wanted to talk about was David Bowie. He was a very early supporter; you performed together in 2005, which turned into a live EP. Then he shows up on “Reflektor” in 2013. Somewhere around 2015, you talked about how you’d come to regard him as this professor-type character in your life. He came to your first New York show, right?

BUTLER: Our first headlining show, when we played at the Bowery, Bowie and David Byrne came to that show.

Wow, no pressure huh.

BUTLER: It sort of set the table. Like, “Well, I guess this is how it’s going to be right out of the gate.” [Laughs] It’s funny, I have a photo of David in my studio that I look at when I’m working sometimes. It’s just him in a dressing room with one of those kind of Hollywood mirrors behind him. He really… I don’t know, he felt some sort of spiritual connection with us. It wasn’t like he wanted anything from us. I just think he wanted to say, “Hey guys, you’re going on the right path, keep going.”

I was emailing him over all those years. I don’t know if you have anyone close to you that’s died and you go back and read those emails, it’s really these strange digital fragments of someone you care about. After he sang on “Reflektor,” Régine and I bought him a painting in Haiti as a thank you gift. We were supposed to mail it to him and we got busy and forgot about it, and in the interim he passed. I knew he wasn’t well, but I didn’t know he was dying. Maybe a couple months later I remembered the painting and I dug it out and it was a painting of a black star. A voodoo painting of a black star with rays coming out of it.

I didn’t know anything about his record being Blackstar or anything like that. Now it’s on the wall of my bedroom. Shit like that sometimes happens in my life. I take it for what it is. I don’t know exactly what that means and I just feel grateful… I don’t know man. Even just how inspiring, what he put into his art even in death. He’s someone I think about at least on a weekly basis.

Backing Up Mick Jagger On SNL (2012), Playing With The Rolling Stones (2013)

Obviously that was an ongoing relationship, and you’ve worked with David Byrne too, and you referenced playing with Neil Young. Still: Being onstage with the Rolling Stones seems particularly daunting.

BUTLER: We were Mick’s backing band on SNL. SNL is maybe one of my favorite American institutions. I don’t know if it’s the Canadian thing since Lorne [Michaels] is Canadian. The first time we did it, it was just like, “This dude is my friend.” I don’t know if Lorne’s kids like Arcade Fire or something. But I was in New York randomly and he was like, “Mick’s doing a thing,” and I said, “We do a pretty amazing cover of ‘The Last Time,’” and he said “Come on down, let’s do it.” Then we’re Mick’s backing band. I don’t know, pretty fucking cool.

What is Mick Jagger like to work with?

BUTLER: Mick is like: As soon as the light goes on, he’s a different person. When he turns it on, it’s like this muscle memory — like if you were with the greatest ballet dancer ever, and you say go and this energy comes out of him that is so practiced. It’s someone who’s an absolute master, after practicing something for decades and decades and decades. That was pretty amazing to see. You’re chatting with someone, we’re at the piano and we’re talking about an arrangement, “OK, let’s do a run,” and then, “Boom! Shit!” There he is.

It’s this other level. I feel like people at that level, music’s not something they’re fucking around with. [Laughs] Music is a spirit. You hear something, and if it strikes a chord with you, it connects something at your deepest core. People like that, when you see them do their thing, it really is this other plane. It’s not this show thing. It’s more of a possession. You can hear it in the music.

I feel like I’ve listened to more music during COVID than any time since I was like, 18. I had this moment when I was listening to these amazing records from the 1950s. You can hear the room. It’s almost like audio VR — you can hear the drummer here and the bass player over here. There’s a sense of space, particularly to that older music. It’s a snapshot. If you hear “La Bamba,” right now, that is what it is. It’s a spirit captured on vinyl, on a piece of tape. It’s alive within that.

With people like Mick, they’re a little bit closer to the spirit of rock ’n’ roll — a literal spirit, not a figurative spirit. Bowie was the same. When he played with us in Central Park, the second he hit the stage he’s illuminated. You’re like, “Oh, shit, that’s what it is.” He’s a human when you’re talking to him and as soon as he’s in it, he’s touched by another thing.

SNL (2007-Present)

I’m glad you brought SNL up, because you’ve been on it a bunch of times, but you’re also one of the musical acts they’ve brought into skits. Like, they actually wrote a game show around you. How does that work? Did they write that sketch with you guys, or you walked in and they’re like, “Hey, by the way…”

BUTLER: I can’t remember, I think we’ve been six or seven times. We’ve been there for a couple different casts at this point. The Lonely Island dudes, those are so my dudes. In another life, I would’ve been in Lonely Island, that would’ve been my dream to just fuck around with my friends; when we were first writing music we were kinda joking around because you’re too insecure to try. A lot of times [at SNL], we’ve played for the staff when we’re there, because you get so fired up to play one or two songs and you’re playing live so your endorphins are running so we just sort of keep playing afterwards. I feel like they appreciate that, it kinda feels like you’re on the same team or something.

I was backstage at SNL once last year, and it is pretty crazy to see it all from the inside like that.

BUTLER: It’s so crazy. They write it all that fucking week, and then to see the differences between the dress rehearsal and the live show. They do a little meeting in Lorne’s office. They’ve done the dress rehearsal and it’s still this tiny office and every cameraman and every cast member is crammed in this little office and Lorne’s like, “Make it a blue light instead of a green light at minute 23, and change this word to this word, I don’t think that’s funny, change that, OK, go,” and everyone’s got pencils writing this down. It’s still fucking that. And you know, it hits and misses sometimes, but they’re doing it.

How long did you have to work on your De Niro impression for that skit?

BUTLER: It’s actually more of a Billy Baldwin impersonation, but it seemed to work for De Niro as well. [Laughs] My only real impression is I can look exactly like Billy Baldwin if I want to. If there’s any casting directors reading this and you need a Billy Baldwin impersonator, I’m your man.

LCD Soundsystem’s Goodbye Show (2011)

You’re the one who ended up serendipitously coining the title of the live album.

BUTLER: [Laughs] That is true. That was genuine. He was being a little talky.

I moved to New York before I moved to Montreal, and I would go to the city and go to shows and I didn’t see one fucking thing that was good in the whole year. I was like, “Wait, I thought New York was the shit, where is it?” All I saw was bad, very industry bands. I couldn’t find anything, I wasn’t cool enough to figure out what was going on. There’s very few bands that I really think of, like bands of my generation where I heard them and thought “These are my people.” For me it was the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, LCD, and Wolf Parade. When I heard those bands, I thought, “These are my fellow pilgrims.” It was art, DIY, no bullshit, just trying to make something great that communicates to people. It’s real and emotional.

James is really just one of us. He’s just such a great engineer and really into the way things sound and really passionate about details. It’s rare to meet people like that. James was working with us when Bowie came in, when we were in Electric Lady. James had never met Bowie before. The first 7” he ever bought was “Fame.” We’re in this studio, and the last time Bowie was there he had cut “Fame” with John Lennon, in the same studio. We were all like, “This is the right place to be.”

James is just a man after my own heart. We did a tour with them on Neon Bible. We were playing to a thousand people in Salt Like City and I was like, “Man, in a couple years a lot more people are going to wish they were at this show.” What a fucking great live band.

Scoring Her (2013)

What kind of headspace did you have to get into for this vs. making an album?

BUTLER: Spike [Jonze] came to a bunch of our early shows on Funeral. The second I met him he was just immediately one of my best friends. He thinks about the world the same way. Even though we work in different mediums he was someone I knew I’d be working with in some capacity. I was visiting LA and I was staying with Spike just randomly one time, in the early days of him working on the script for Her. I was reading the script and immediately thinking about how it could sound, and I was like, “Well, we should fucking do the score to this movie.”

When you’re working on a record, it’s so rigid, what works on a song and what doesn’t work on a song. It can be so limiting in a way. Within the band, there’s so many different talents and color palettes and things people bring to the table, so it was cool to do something where the boss is the picture. It doesn’t matter how anyone feels about a piece, if it’s working for Spike, if it’s working in harmony with the picture, that’s what the boss is — the emotionality of the picture. It’s not about you, it’s in service to this bigger thing. It was a cool opportunity for all of us to use different aspects of things we do, and to work with Owen [Pallett], who had done a lot of strings on our records. It uses a totally different part of your brain.

Do you want to do more of that kind of work, or was it this specific story from Spike that spoke to you?

BUTLER: I can say pretty confidently that I’ll work with Spike in the future. It definitely takes a lot of energy. It’s definitely something I’m interested in, but I feel like while I’ve got the juice it’s good to spend as much energy writing songs as we can. It’s pretty fucking hard to make a record, believe it or not.

Future’s “Might As Well” Sampling “Owl” From Her(2017)

Are you a big Future fan?

BUTLER: I love Future. There’s something in the rhythm of the thing he does that actually reminds me of some music from Haiti, in this really deep, subtle way I can’t put my finger on. There’s something almost mystical in the way he sounds, and I thought that was really cool that they sampled that soundtrack. His shit does sound like the future still. I think it’s pretty special.

The Reach Of ”Wake Up” (2004-Present)

This song has had this big pop-culture reach over the years. U2 used it as their walk-on music in the ‘00s. It was used in the trailer for another Spike movie, Where The Wild Things Are. Macy Gray and John Legend both covered it. Microsoft ripped it off for a commercial. It was used in a commercial for LA’s bid for the Olympics.

BUTLER: That Microsoft money went to Haiti, by the way. They did rip it off. [Laughs] Thank you Microsoft.

As far as I know that’s far from an exhaustive list, too. It’s just one of those songs that’s gone out and become a part of the atmosphere. Even a lot of big bands don’t necessarily have a song like that. What do you think it is about “Wake Up” that’s registered in so many different contexts?

BUTLER: From the time we wrote that song to now, the biggest difference in my life is I’ve traveled the world and I’ve been able to play music in all these different cultures and feel the ways different countries feel music. Not only listening to the music in other countries but seeing how they feel the music I play.

I remember around The Suburbs we played in rural Haiti. It was our first time playing in a place where nobody in the audience had any of the reference points of the music we played. We were playing in the mountains, there were people walking in barefoot to the concert. We were playing these songs we had been touring the world with, and the energy from the crowd was so different. The things they responded to, the things they felt, it actually fundamentally changed the way I heard my own music. It made me start to think about music not just from my own perspective but culturally how people hear it and feel it.

I think the one thing that kind of transcends everything across all cultures is melody. Régine was playing that melody on piano in our rehearsal room. I hear it like it was yesterday. It was like, “That’s the shit.” [Laughs] Being present and being in the room, hearing something and really giving yourself to it, just singing that shit like it really meant it and feeling the power of that melody and trying to push it until it breaks. That’s something I think about, just how great it is to have people to play music with. To say it like you mean it.

I remember singing that song in Montreal, in these lofts. Most of our early fans, the first time we played that song, they were like “Fuck this shit, I want the acoustic shit.” People were so negative. I remember a lot of early fans didn’t come to our shows after that because we were suddenly screaming at the top of our lungs and playing electric guitars. It was like, “Everyone here hates this, that means we must be going in the right direction.” [Laughs] But yeah, don’t be discouraged if people hate something. It doesn’t mean shit.

https://www.stereogum.com/2105395/win-butler-interview-spike-jonze-arcade-fire-snl-mick-jagger-david-bowie/interviews/weve-got-a-file-on-you/

[yandere-wishes]

Eight Tries //Obey  Me Yandere! Asmodeus x reader //

Thank you so so much for this wonderful prompt @feedmestraycats​. Icon made by the lovly @bbelphie​!

TW: attempted suicide, mention of rape/noncon, gore, murder, cheating

This was getting old, he still wasn't home and there was no point in pretending that he was just running late. No, you knew that your husband was not coming back home tonight, maybe if you were lucky you would find him passed out on the couch sometime in the late afternoon once you returned from the marketplace. 

There was no reason to spend the dreary and dull night alone. If that spoiled hero you called a husband could be spending such a gorgeous night, out with some prostitute from the slums then you could also be having some naughty fun~

--To call your current like a nightmare was an understatement. People awake from nightmares, they could open their eyes and be back in the safety of their warm beds, next to the person they loved. But the second your eyes opened you entered a hell on earth, there wasn't any escape, no freedom...and the worst part was that there was not a single soul to comfort you--

Five red candles set in a circle each one a blase with a tiny passionate flame. Two twigs inserted parallel to one another, caging in the dried corpse of a scorpion. Next is the demon's sacred seal written in the summoner's blood, elegantly and delicately. Sprinkle it with salt and state the ungodly words. "Oh, great Asmodeus lord of love, aviator of lust, I become thee come forth to me, I offer you my body and soul"

--You had been born to a noble family in a small and rather poor town. Despite the town economical standpoint, the natives were tremendously kind and neighborly. Everyone shared whatever little of anything they may have had. Your family, in particular, was the most charitable. Giving and giving as much as humanly possible. When it came time for you to chose a husband, your father requested you marry someone from the town, someone you truly loved disregarding how poor or wealthy they may be. Marry for love he insisted but keep it in the family. Regardless to say that's what you did. You found a man and fell in love, married a month later in a joyous celebration in which the whole town had been invited to....but then HE came along--

The circle in front of you puffed with a cloud of thick pink smoke. It invaded your sense, plunging into your mind and sending waves of ecstasy. It was a rush pure lust was infected into your entire body...

but then it stopped, neglecting your corpse and leaving you you confused and sweaty. It was in that eerie moment that the demon decided to manifest himself. He stood tall in all his glory, petite bat wings spread out. If it weren't for the dark shadow and uncharacteristic bitter frown spread thinly across his face, he would have looked as beautiful and perfect as the first miserable night you played eyes on him.

--In the dead of night Asmodeus had murdered your husband in clod blood. He had made you watch as he shredded your lover's corps leaving only a messy pile of blood and organs on the bed. But that had not been enough for the lord of lust. On that same blood-soaked bed he had defiled you,  raped you and stolen what was meant for the man who's blood you now laid in, a weeping mess reeking of that demon's stench. Your parents had found you the following day. They were sent into an accentuated frenzy. How could such a horrifying thing happen? By the following year, you'd been wed again, only for Asmodeus to return on the night of your marriage and decimate your new husband. By the fourth accurations, the townsfolk had deemed you cursed, at first they tried all that they could to save you from this dreadful beast. But all too soon it had turned into a competition. "Who could marry the nobleman's daughter and survive the next day." Desperate to wed you off your parents accepted any challenger who arrived....and each was dead by the morning of your marriage. By the sixth time, the townsfolk had already tried to kill you on multiple occasions. The sweet and caring town you knew had been annihilated replaced by this bitter, angry village of unkind and untrusting residents. And Asmodeus? Well, he'd made a game out of this, each time he'd find a new grisly way to slaughter your new husband and a new repugnant way to rape you. By the seventh husband, you'd already attempted four suicides. All resulting in fallierur, by some black miracle that dreadful demon was always able to save you and keep you alive. All hope was lost or so it seemed.--

"He's out again..." Was there any need to explain why you'd summons him. Over the last two years since your wedding to the "hero", these summonings had been almost routine. 

"Of course he is darling~ did you really think you were enough to satisfy him? hm?"

The words stabbed your heart like a million needles at once, the reality was all too fragile and could come crumbling down at any given time. You had never been enough, this was a well-known fact at this point. You had never been enough for your lovers, parents or town's people and now you weren't even enough for your own husband, the man that had saved you from all your miseries. 

"Love, he's a hero. Hero's don't settle down and live domestic lives with their loved ones and children. They need the torture of missions and anguish of journeys to feel alive. When they leave it all behind they wind up as hollow husks filling out the rest of their existence with alcohol and street women."

--After having prayed to God for too many days and nights to count, he's finally sent you a hero. Tobias was sent to vanquish the demon Asmodeus and merry you as a reward. At the time you'd all thought he had succeeded, that the avatar of lust was really dead. The thought had brought you joyous days and depressing nights. A part of you was beyond thankful that he was finally gone. The other half missed and longed for his lips on yours, for his hands brushing against your skin, the feel of his honey-colored lock tangled in between your fingers. You missed your tormentor...

At first, you and Tobias had been like any young couple so in love to notice the conflict of the world around you, so in love to disregard each other's sharp edges. So in love, until you were no longer. The first year had been sweet and peacful, every day was a harmonious dream...but then Tobias started coming home late, neglecting your presence. Some nights he wouldn't return at all and you'd run into town finding him in some pub drunk and with some random woman clinging to him. You spent those nights crying yourself into fitful revolting dreams of happiness and death. The old pre-suicidal habits had returned. One night the blade slipped and slashed a vain to deep, mentally exhausted you simply laid there waiting for the blood to run out. That's when you saw him again. Over the years he hadn't changed one bit, flirty smile and reddish-yellow eyes still playful and dark. He'd brought you back again and stayed with you until morning. The occurrence repeated it's self like clockwork until one night it was no longer dying and talking but summoning and...more. It felt right to feel him all over you again. His toxic presence made you feel complete, filling up holes in your soul.--

Asmodeus stalked closer, arms slinging in that all too causal way. You didn't dare take a step back, having played this game enough times to know every result before it even sprouted. 

"(Y/N) why won't you listen to me! How dense do you have to be to repeat the same mistake eight times! Eight freaking times before it dawns on you that you are wrong! You will always be wrong! No worthless human or "holy hero" can ever love you as I do. I'm the only one. I'll always be the only one!" 

Your brain screamed that he was wrong, that you could have had a prouspoures, dazzling life had he not killed your first husband or second or even third. Ir was his fault that your beloved town had been plagued with riots and corruption. He taught your people to sin, to ignore the words of God and his angels! Yet your cracked heart knew that he was right, no man would ever love you again... hey all married you for some selfish obligation or another. And Tobias....Tobias was the worst of all. He was forced to marry you by the holy on. Thrust into a loveless marriage with the suicidal "beauty" he was forced to save. Why couldn't God have just killed you all those years ago? Given the poor "Miss wanna die" her sole wish. He was right, this MONSTER was had always been right! No one loved you. You were less than the rubble under people's feet. Even noble god had turned his back on you...but he, this evil demon...Asmodeus had always come back for you. Hw stole your innocence, your purity, your life! your destiny was forever ruled by him. Maybe that's what you were so constantly in pain and isolation. You were trying to outrun your furutre. Why? What was the point of escaping your inevitable faith? Let it go, submit,  your miserable life would finally become less of a burden. Give up, hand over the crumpled misery you called life to Asmodeus, let him take over. It would all finally be over. No more pain, loneliness, the misery would come to a sweet end!

In a daring, insanity driven moment you lunged yourself forward gripping Asmodeus' toned shoulders with all your strenghth. Fingernails digging deeper and deeper into his creamy skin. Crashing your lips onto his, trying to let the kiss speak for you. Begging he would comprehend your actions, praying he would accept your submission. In no time he took over, dominating the kiss, slipping his wet muscle into your mouth. Running his larger hands to your lower back. Dipping lower and lower, squeezing anything he could get his hand on. He was the one to (shockinly) break the kiss. He slowly pulled away leaving behind a thin string of saliva. His lush lips were pulled into a smug smirk, his eyes were lightening up with the most joy you'd ever seen. Forcefully he pulled you closer to his chest. Holding your head where his heart would have been. 

[murder-popsicle]

4, 5, 14, 15

@oftomorrow || munday meme || accepting

4. What is your favorite thing about your muse? Why did you pick them up, what do you want to explore? 

I love Bucky’s determination. No matter how many times she’s beaten down, she always gets back up and keeps going. If Steve is the immovable object, Bucky is the unstoppable force. I’ve loved Bucky ever since Ed Brubaker resurrected him in the comics, and I really, really enjoyed the Captain America: The Winter Soldier movie. It was so well-done, and Steve being able to break through Bucky’s brainwashing with the power of friendship rather than having to use the Cosmic Cube really warmed my heart.

I picked Bucky up because he’s a complex character with a detailed backstory that I wanted to dig into. And I made him female because I wanted to explore the question of what parts of Bucky’s life would be different because of that one change. It doesn’t even really break canon, because Marvel has a long history of alternate universes and multiple variants of specific characters.

5. What is your least favorite thing about your muse? What makes them difficult to write, or interact with?

God, sometimes she really wallows in the angst. She’s a bit of a glutton for punishment, she blames herself for things that aren’t really her fault, and sometimes she gets stuck in these negative spirals. I like angst as much as the next RPer, but I like other genres, too. Sometimes I really have to kick her ass to get her into the mindset necessary for a more positive thread.

14. What is your opinion on formatting, editing and icons within the community? How do you style your own, do they differ from muse to muse?

Approximately 85% of the blog aesthetics in the RPC suck. Container themes, pop-up info boxes, links hidden in background images, replies that are so over-formatted that they’re unreadable (spaced out text, itty-bitty font, random colors, random bold/italic/underline/strikethrough that isn’t actually being used to emphasize anything), deep fried icons, hideous icon psds... It’s bullshit. RP is a text-based activity, and if your blog isn’t easy to read and easy to navigate, then I don’t care about how pretty your background is or how well-coordinated your color scheme is or how ~aesthetic~ your icons or replies look. Your formatting is bad. Your layout is bad. You’ve got your RP priorities all wrong, and I do not care if you think I’m mean for saying so on my own damn blog. I’m not going to harass you or send you hate anons, but I will block you without hesitation, because I’m not going to waste my time on anyone whose blog isn’t accessible.

As for my own blogs, I prioritize readability. I use standard-sized, black text on a white background and regular spacing. Bold/italic/strikethrough are only used to emphasize something specific or to indicate flashbacks/internal dialogue. I never use underlining for anything except a hyperlink. I use 100x100 icons with no psds. The only thing specific about my icons is that I use one kind of border for Bucky and a different kind of border for Theo. Both borders are simple and don’t obscure the image.

Please, people, for the love of god, make your blogs accessible.

15. Is there something petty or minor that would cause you not to follow a person?

Not cutting their posts. I do not want to have to scroll for thirty years to get past your posts on my dash. I get that sometimes people are stuck on mobile, and if you’ve got three replies stacked up because only one partner is able to cut, I can deal with it. But anything longer than that is just rude. Show your followers some courtesy.