#...i can say that it is past midnight and i should stop rambling and go to bed cuz i gotta be up early tomorrow and im tired anyway.

[chrismcshell]

ash in the first evil dead movie is just a normal autistic man who gets himself into the most supremely fucked-up situation

[thrillered]

"You Know I Mountain Dew It For Ya" | Spencer Agnew x Reader | Pt. 8

Pt. 8: Confessions

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“I just can’t keep doing this.” Spencer said, removing his hand from yours and adjusting his position to look at you more directly. 

“What?”

Your mind was reeling. Spencer's tone shifted from playful to serious very quickly. Your stomach flipped, a pit of anxiety settling in your stomach. Did Spencer do all this nice stuff today just to let you down easy and send you away? Were you really stupid and Spencer didn’t even like you platonically? 

Okay, you were spiraling. 

Spencer was your best friend and you were his, there was no argument about that. You were just high and stressed. 

“I just don’t know what to do anymore Y/N.” He looked at you, his eyes full of anxiety. “You are so wonderful and talented and smart and..” He began to ramble, unsure where he was going with this thought. “You- you just make me really happy and if I don’t tell you this soon.. Well- I might actually implode.”

“Okay hold on, what are you talking about?” You asked, trying to stop his babbling. As nervous as you were, you couldn’t help but think he looked adorable. The way his hair splayed over his forehead, his hands wringing together as his eyes darted around the room, finally landing on yours. Even as your heart dropped through your ass you thought Spencer was so uniquely him. 

“What I’m trying to say is that I’m so into you Y/N,” He sighed, finally revealing the feelings he's been harboring for years. “I’ve always told you I loved you but you have no idea how much I mean it.” 

You were stopped in your tracks, not fully comprehending his words. “W-What?” You asked again.

“Maybe this is stupid and maybe Alex got in my head but I don’t think I could go another day without telling you, especially with everything going on.” 

“Do you mean it?” You asked, your voice small.

“With all of my being.” He responded, grabbing your hands with both of his. 

“You know I love you too Spencer, more than anything.” His heart was soaring at your words, feeling fireworks erupting within him. “But… I need this to be real. If for some reason it’s not and you’re just high…” You shook your head.

“I promise this isn’t a lie.” 

“Then tell me again in the morning, tell me you love me when you’re sober,” You compromised, “I’m not going anywhere tonight but just please tell me in the morning if you're serious.” 

“Okay, I will. You won’t be able to doubt it, I swear.” 

You smiled at him, “So what now?” You asked.

Spencer glanced at the clock, seeing it was already past midnight. You both had work in the morning and should probably head to bed soon. 

“We should head to sleep. But first, there’s just one thing I really really need to do.” Spencer said, running his hands up your arms and shoulders to rest where your neck met your face. “You look so beautiful.” He muttered, observing you in the soft moonlight that shone through his living room window, dragging his eyes down your face and landing on your lips. 

You glanced down to his as well, watching as his tongue poked out to wet the corners of his mouth before connecting your eyes again. “Can I please kiss you?” He asked, his voice soft and gentle. 

You tried to memorize this moment, the smell of his home mixed with the candle he lit for you, the ways his eyes twinkled in the dim light, and the feeling of his firm hands against your skin. 

You didn’t realize how long you were taking to answer as you tried committing everything to memory. Spencer's stomach doing flips as he braces for a rejection that never comes. “God Spencer please.” You grinned widely.

He pulled your face the few inches to his and softly placed his lips on yours, testing the waters. All either of you could think about was how perfectly your lips slotted together, like they were always made for each other. 

It wasn’t a feverish kiss, there were no gnashing teeth, just so much love. It was soft but firm, able to communicate all the words you couldn’t say. You tasted like chapstick and citrus soda, a taste Spencer found both intoxicating and suited you. 

One of his hands moved to the back of your head, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. His other hand moved to your waist, pulling you down so you were almost laying on the couch, his warm body above you. “Is this okay?” He asked, breaking the kiss and leaning his forehead against yours. 

You didn’t even answer, just pulled him back in by his shirt. He laughed into the kiss, shocked at the movement. He could feel your sly smile against his lips. You both relished in the moment, the air feeling thick with passion. 

Your hand had looped into Spencer’s hair which you loved so much. Spencer’s hand that was at your waist began to slide under your (his) shirt, just brushing his fingertips against the warm skin of your waist when one of Spencer's cats knocked a, luckily, empty bowl off the coffee table, scaring you both out of the kiss. 

You both laughed upon seeing a furry tail swiftly moving out of the living room. “It’s really late, let’s head to bed, yeah?” You asked not wanting to spoil such a perfect night by doing anything too forward too quickly. 

“Yeah, let’s head to bed.” Spencer repeated your words, kissing your cheek before standing up and offering you his hand. You took it gladly and slowly stood up. Even when you were standing you didn’t let go of Spencer’s hand, which he took the opportunity to pull you into him and kiss you softly again. 

“As much as I would love to keep going,” You pulled away, “We need to clean these dishes up and go to sleep, Spence.” 

He almost pouted, knowing you were right but being unsure this would ever happen again. You gave him a smile and began to clean up. There were only a few things that needed to be picked up so you were done before you knew it. 

Walking to Spencer’s room you noticed he also changed his sheets, ever the gentleman. You both climbed into bed, already wearing comfy enough clothes. “Goodnight Spencey.” You muttered, pulling the comforter around you. 

“Goodnight Y/N” 

Spencer couldn’t stop his mind from wandering. What if you were just high and stressed and thought this would be fun tonight and you would never speak to him again. You rolled over and slotted yourself against Spencer, resting your head near his, “I can feel you worrying, just go to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning. I love you.” You reassured. 

Feeling your warmth against his side and your sweet words in his ear was enough to calm his mind. He pulled you in a little closer and rested his head against yours, placing a soft kiss to your hairline, “I love you too.” 

[silassinclair]

Hello there! So this is my first time requesting since i just started following you. So let me tell you, your Yandere Wild West Outlaw got me absolutley smitten and obsessed! i love your writing so much!!

Anyway back to the main subject and on with the request.

What about Maddox with an EXTRA Sassy darling. Like, full of and fluent on sarcasm (the kind that makes you go: DAAAAMN). The darlin' has a sharp tongue and retorts for any kind of bad words might be thrown towards her (and maybe, way later in the relationship, towards Maddox too). From really polite f-u's to tge sthraightfoward ones, she can reply and roast anyone.

Oh and a bonus head cannon (a little something that came to mind) after reading about the wedding rings. I can totally imagine the darling going from questioning about where Maddox "buys" all the weird gifts to just becoming immune, later in the relationship. Let's say Maddox comes back (to the temporary) home with a very strange object, like A very expensive porcelain/china vase and the darling just goes: "oh thank you. Please put it on the table. I'll be done with the soup and then take care of it"

Yea anyway i'll stop rambling now.

Sorry for the bad english. It's not my first language and it is past midnight here.

Have a great day/night ✨

We love sassy girlboss Y/n’s here. Thank you for submitting this request anon!! Hope it is to your liking <3

Yandere Wild West Outlaw x Sassy Reader

CW// Y/n is a bully, Maddox gets his ego hurt, Maddox gets angry, Maddox is dumb

Masterlist

Maddox immediately knew that you were a spitfire when he first had a conversation with you. You weren’t the typical damsel in distress who when captured by the evil outlaw you’re forced into submission.

Oh no. There’s not a drop of submission in your body.

Maddox thought you would be useful to have around. You’d be his own personal maid! Maybe even like a housewife. But no…

“Clean my laundry if ya’ wanna live to see anotha’ day.”

“Alright alright, calm your tits. What should I clean first? The shirt with sweat marinated into the fabric or the undies with shit stains?”

“THERE AIN’T ANY SHIT ON MY UNDIES MISSY! IT’S DIRT!”

You’re a total pain in the ass. Whenever he tried to act cool or intimidating you’d immediately shoot it down with your words.

He hates it when you ruin his moment in front of other people.

He got really pissed after you made a jab at him in the middle of a duel.

“It’s just you an’ me boy. But we both know who’ll be standin’ by the end of this.”

“Hopefully it isn’t you.”

“SHUT UP Y/N! GET YOUR TUSH BACK INSIDE, I’M TRYNA’ HAVE A DUEL!”

Punishes you by tying you up and leaving you outside for the night.

He ignores your complaints about coyotes or rattlesnakes. He needs you to shut your mouth and give him some peace.

After that night of punishment though he noticed how you wouldn’t really talk to him often.

“Go shine my boots. And I don’t wanna hear a single complaint outta ya’.”

“Okay.”

“…”

Okaay so he fucked up.

The days drag on so slow without your quips and jabs! He never realized how funny the things you said are now that you’re gone.

Well you’re not gone, just more closed off now. But you may as well be gone. This isn’t like you at all to be so quiet and reclusive!

Maybe he was too rough in you? He did kill your Father and force you to be his housewife maid.

So doing what he does worst, he apologizes.

“Hey, ‘bout that one time I left ya’ outside. I realize that was silly of me cus ya’ coulda gotten eaten. So that was my bad.”

“So you’re sorry?”

“Yeah.”

He’s brushing Jasper’s fur, telling the horse how good he is. Cleaning Jasper is the only chore Maddox likes to do himself.

You’re sitting on a tree stump watching the man talk to his horse.

“You know Jasper’s a horse right?”

“Oh really? I thought he was a dog.”

The small smirk on your face after his little quip made Maddox feel like a million bucks.

That’s when he learned that he likes seeing you happy.

After the “Marriage”: (Read about it Here)

“Uhm what’s all this?” You ask your unofficial husband.

“This-”

He puts a brown sack down on the table. The sound of the contents inside clang together as he dumps it all out. A dozen chipped fine china plates come out.

“Is how we make our house a home sweetness. I hear housewives go crazy over fancy dishes n’ shit.”

Maddox stands there with a proud grin underneath his masked face. (He still hasn’t showed you his face yet btw.) He was like a dog showing his owner how good he is at retrieving sticks when playing fetch.

You look at him with an unimpressed quirk of your brow. “And where did you happen to come across such fine china may I ask?”

He shrugs and comes around the table to wrap his arms around you from behind.

“A buddy gave em to me.” His deep voice reverberates in your ear.

“Did you hold your so called buddy at gunpoint?”

“Would you be mad if I said yes?”

You groan and shakes your head back and forth. “Maddox you know you can’t just go around taking people’s stuff! Now the sheriff was probably alerted and is looking for you now. And why did you steal a bunch of plates!? Jasper can’t carry all this shit! We should only have what is necessary for survival you brute. Are you even listening to me!?”

But he only looks at you with lovesick eyes as you complain about how stupid he is.

“Princess did I ever tell you how sexy you are when you’re mad at me?” His hands go lower down your waist.

Rolling your eyes you smack his hands and leave his embrace, leaving him standing by himself like a kicked puppy.

“I have a meal to make so set the table with those plates you got. And no more stealing people’s things!”

“Yes ma’am.”

I appreciate all the requests that come in!! But I just want to remind all of you about my rules and that I do NOT write Y/n as a specific race. My writing is for everybody to enjoy!! She’s race ambiguous. Many people request that I write a Black Y/n but I’m not black so I won’t be doing that. If I write for a specific race then I feel like I’d just be stereotyping what black people are supposed to act like. So please don’t ask me to write for a Y/n that is a specific race. Thank you.

[spaceorphan18]

Opinion: With the exception of the youngest, the Bridgerton brothers are hard to tell apart in looks and actions. (Explanatory ramble: Until season 3, I wouldn't have been able to tell you who Colin was and still couldn't in some scenes. They (I forget their names & how many there are) often felt like the same non-serious man with no cares in the world, only drinking and "canoodling." Mind you, I only saw each season when it came out and only the once. *shrug* I don't hate the show, and realize that I should probably do a full rewatch.)

For the actual opinion

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

The casting of this show was kind of phenomenal in that they all do look like they're related. I think the youngest boy looks like them, too, he's just younger. The girls all look the same, too - Daphne and Francesca are incredibly similar.

****

Oh my dear Coffeegleek.

often felt like the same non-serious man with no cares in the world, only drinking and "canoodling."

No. I... no. I will not tolerate you slandering Colin Bridgerton that way. I will not!

I will preface this by saying - there's nothing wrong with watching the pretty people in regency clothes story and not care that deeply about it. Most people do and that's fine. And all the men on the show fulfill the romantic hero role since the show is, after all, an anthology romance collection.

But. You should know me by now, and here you are showing up in my in box with such blasphemy, I just have to defend Colin. The following diatribe should be expected...

(you do know I'm being facetious, right? right... okay!)

The whole point, the WHOLE POINT of Colin's character arc is that he's the opposite of what you describe. If you go back to seasons 1 and 2, Colin is someone who cares very deeply about people -- almost to a fault. He has some insecurity issues (undoubtedly because he's the third male child) and a hero complex (what is he if he can't /save/ someone? what is he if he can't help out in some way).

He's actually incredibly sweet and kind. And worldly. And empathetic. And sensitive. The opposite of his brothers and the opposite of what society expects from him.

And then got ridiculed for it.

And so he decided, while traveling the world (for much longer meta reasons then I should probably get into here) that he'd stop going against the grain and just be who everyone expects him to be. What you said above.

And it doesn't work.

Both Colin and Pen have these mirroring arcs (my god, don't let me get into the mirror iconography or I'll never shut up) where they can't cut off who they are to appease everyone around them. Colin's journal entry essentially says that he's not finding real intimacy. He's already known what actual intimacy is -- maybe not physically, but emotionally, he has. And he's both missing it and searching for it (because he doesn't know that the /it/ is his relationship with Pen.)

He imitates his brothers and his 'friends' because he feels like that's what he's supposed to do. But really, he's a softy who just wants to cuddle up with someone he loves and drown in her.

The thing that I really, really, really didn't expect from the pretty people in regency clothing show is that there's a lot of nuance to the story telling that can be easily missed. and I'm more impressed with it than I ever thought I should be.

Anyway... I could write more, but it's past midnight and I really should go to bed soon... the tl:dr version is that Colin has a really cool story arc in all three seasons and it's much more interesting than surface level would lead you to believe. <3

[boldlyvoid]

December 16th, 1986

Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson

Summary: It took 8 months, but Steve's parents finally sold their house... and Steve has no idea where he's going to live now.

Warnings: drug use, mutual pining, first kisses, getting together, moving in together, Wayne and Mr. Clark are dating in this

Word Count: 2.5k

For the past 8 months, Steve has been getting ready for this moment. 

His parents announced pretty soon after the earthquake that they would be moving. They put the house up for sale, they packed their things and they left… they said he could stay there till it sold, make sure that the Realtor showed the house off right and answer any questions that the potential buyers have. He answered things that he shouldn’t have, he told lies, he made the house seem haunted and he prolonged living there as long as he could until another rich family decided they’d take it no matter what. 

His last day to live in his childhood home is December 16th. He has 2 weeks to pack, find an apartment and start living life on his own terms. His parents “helped” the best way they knew how. With a check for $1000 as a thank you for looking after the place until now and words of support… those words being “We know you can do it, and if not, here’s our new address.” 

Robin offered to let him stay with her but without her mom knowing because she already thinks they’re dating in secret and that wouldn’t help. He can’t ask Nancy for help cause she’s in Boston— Jonathan might be willing to help but since their breakup… he’s not really hanging out with anyone much. Dustin's mom has made it clear he can stay over whenever he wants but he’d have to sleep on the couch in the living room and there wouldn't be much privacy.

The 4 apartments downtown are taken currently, they won’t be available for god-knows how long and he can’t afford to buy a house of his own… his job sucks, and he’s worried he won’t even be there much longer once Robin goes off to college cause Keith hates him, so he should be looking for both a new job and a place to live. 

It all comes tumbling out of him after a joint and a beer while lying on the carpet in Eddie’s room. 

“Dude,” Eddie stops him mid-ramble. “You can stay here.” 

“Where?” 

“Here,” Eddie waves around. “In my room, with me, for as long as you need.” 

He laughs as he sits up, “Yeah I can see it now, my race car poster can go there. My trophies will sit in a box over there on the floor and after I organize your closet for the first time like, ever, I’ll put my clothes in there.” 

“I mean, I think the race car would look better over there,” Eddie points to the one blank spot on his wall with a smirk. “I’m completely serious, Stevie, you can stay here. Wayne won’t mind.” 

He just sighs, “I mean, I think I can store all my things in Dustin's weird bomb shelter storage thing—

“Wait, what?” Eddie cuts him off. “He has a bomb shelter?” 

“I don’t know it’s like not connected to his house and it’s in the backyard and it’s underground and all concrete,” Steve explains. “But they just keep his mom's homemade stuff down there like she pickles shit and makes jam, so... I could keep some boxes down there and just bring the important things here.” 

“See, that sounds like a great plan,” Eddie cheers him on. 

“But…” he doesn’t know how to ask. 

“What?” 

He sighs, “where am I going to sleep?” 

“Here,” Eddie says like it’s no big deal, pointing down at his bed. “It’s not like you haven’t slept here before.” 

“Yeah, but, every night, for-for I don’t know how long?” Steve worries, “You’d seriously be okay with that?” 

Eddie nods, “I mean, we sleep pretty good when we’re together…”

Steve sighs, he’s right. No nightmares, no night sweats, no morning headaches, notate night anxiety attacks— and that’s just all the stuff on his end. Eddie hasn’t been on a regular sleep schedule like this since he was a toddler, sleeping from midnight to 9am every time they’re together, he’s more productive and he’s happier and they really love sleeping together... It just feels right. 

“Don’t-don’t take this the wrong way, but-but—

“Oh no,” Eddie worries right away.

“No, no, it’s a good thing I promise,” Steve assures. “I just wanted to say I… I love you, man. You’re a wonderful person and you take such good care of all your friends and-and don’t tell Robin but you’re one of the best people in my life and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

Eddie tries to make a joke response but his mouth just opens and closes and he shakes his head in disbelief, “You do?” 

Steve nods, “I really do. Thank you… for everything.” 

Eddie gets off his bed and crowds Steve on the floor, wrapping him up in such a powerful hug they end up lying down with Eddie on top of him, “I love you too, Stevie.” 

They’re like that for well over a minute, but with the weed in their system, it might’ve been even longer than that. They end up cuddled on the floor, Eddie’s face in Steve’s neck, Steve’s fingers tracing shapes on Eddie's back, the two of them silent and content and oddly comfortable. 

They cuddle often. This is how they fall asleep. After long chats about all sorts of things: work, bad dads, evil teachers, stupid ex-friends, relationships that went south... You name it, they’ve talked about it. It started one night after he drove Robin home from work, she had a headache and just wanted to sleep and he needed someone to talk to— somehow he ended up parked in front of Eddie’s trailer before he could even register how he got there and Eddie was coming outside to make sure he was okay. He wasn’t. But he’s been okay since then, since knowing he has another safe space with someone who cares about him. 

Now he knows that someone loves him… and Steve loves him right back. Maybe more than how he loves Robin or Dustin. Maybe he loves him more like he loved Nancy? This did feel an awfully lot like when he cuddled with her, only, they did this after sex… completely naked, cuddled up for 10-20 minutes before he had to get her home for her curfew, but he soaked it all in. It was his favourite part of the whole thing. 

And now he has it again, just in a different form. In a different shape… an Eddie shape that’s even warmer and heavier and smells like home and doesn’t have to leave after a few minutes. And when Eddie said he loved him back, it was real. It was sincere. It was everything he wanted. 

He rests his cheek against the top of Eddie’s head for a moment, lets out a sigh from all his thoughts and then he does it. He kisses the top of Eddie's head and squeezes him tighter. And to his surprise, Eddie kisses him right back. His lips touch Steve’s neck and they stay there, again and again, he kisses him until he’s straddling Steve’s hips and his lips meet his jaw and Steve stops breathing. 

His eyes blown wide, his hands fallen to his sides, he’s frozen. Eddie notices and pulls back, he cups Steve’s jaw and stares at him, “hey… I’m sorry, I can—

Steve doesn’t let him finish, he simply grips his t-shirt and pulls him down into a real kiss. Lips pressed firmly together, eyes squeezed shut— on his end, at least. It’s not Eddie's turn to be shocked still. Steve holds him there for a moment and then releases, noticing Eddie’s now frozen as he opens his eyes. He laughs, finding him so un-godly cute, “Sorry…” 

“No, no, don’t apologize,” Eddie says in a mere whisper, still dumbfounded that that really happened. But he comes back to reality, he stares at Steve’s lips and then back up to his eyes, “Kiss me whenever you'd like, pretty boy.” 

Steve sits up with Eddie still in his lap, chest to chest now, he cups Eddie’s face, “same goes for you, handsome.” 

So, Eddie kisses him this time, sweet and gentile and everything Steve’s ever wanted. It’s slow and sweet, and his lips are soft, Eddie wraps his arms around him and holds him close. Steves is the first one to initiate more, swiping his tongue across his bottom lip, Eddie almost moans as he lets him in. 

Steve's hand slips from his cheek, down his neck and rests on his chest before he wraps his arms around Eddie’s middle and tugs him in even closer. He’s never had a kiss that feels like this: there’s love and passion and a familiarity that feels like they’ve kissed a million times before. 

He’s not sure how long they kiss, but it feels like hours.

Glorious, fantastic, and magical hours that he never wants to end.

When Eddie finally pulls away he doesn’t look too happy— which worries Steve. “I love this, but I’ve gotta piss so goddamn bad, dude.” 

Steve laughs, “Go, go pee and then we can continue this in the bed, my ass is going numb.” 

Eddie steals one last kiss, “Okay, I’ll be right back. Might get some snacks too… the munchies are kicking in.”

And then he’s gone, leaving Steve alone in his room… he reaches over for the walkie-talkie on Eddie’s bedside table, pulls out the antenna and changes the frequency to the one he and Robin use. It’s late, she’s probably asleep, but he’s allowed to wake her up when he needs her. 

“Rob? Robin? Are you up?” 

He waits a moment and then he hears it, she groans, “What?” 

“It happened.” 

“You’re gonna have to be more descriptive, dingus,” she bullies him. “And speak up, where are you?” 

“I’m at Eddie's, he’s gonna be back in a second but… but we kissed. It happened, Rob.” 

“Do you want a parade? Some gay confetti cake?” She teases, tired and not in the mood but he can hear her slight smile. 

“No, I just wanted to tell you,” he smiles like an idiot on his end. “And I told him I love him, so there’s that…” 

“Congrats, you kissed the same sex before I did— can I please go back to bed now?” She begs. 

“Yeah, sorry, I’ll see yo tomorrow,” he lets her go. “Night, rob.” 

“Night, dingus,” he says back and then the line goes dead. She’s turned it off completely. 

He flops back to the bed with the walkie pressed to his chest and the most shit-eating grin plastered to his face. He’s never felt so happy in his life. And Eddie sees it. He leans against the doorway, bag of chips in hand, just smiling back at him. 

“You know, I always wondered what my dad meant when he said I was more like Wayne than anyone else in their family, that I had to be a Munson like my mom said because I’m his twin…” Eddie explains and Steve sits right up, nervous that he was caught. 

“What?” 

“Wayne’s had the same boyfriend since I was like 14,” he explains. “They see each other in the mornings when he’s coming home and his lovers getting ready for work. He brings him coffee, they get a few minutes to just chat and then he'd come back here to make sure I was ready for the bus… and I didn’t know he was his boyfriend for a long time. I actually didn’t know for sure until we were in the hospital, and Scott was there, holding Wayne’s hand.” 

“Wait, that’s why Mr. Clarke was always around?” Steve can’t believe it. “I knew they were friends but… oh my god?” 

Eddie makes his way to the bed and nods, “They’ve been together for a while. And happily. If it wouldn’t fuck with his job, they’d be living together… he has a second room in his house so they’ve been thinking about pretending to be roommates but, I don’t know who’d buy that.” 

“I would’ve,” Steve assures him. “Believe me, that is not the first thing I think of when I see two older dudes hanging out.” 

“And if Wayne moves in with him… then I get the trailer,” Eddie explains. “And there’d be more room for your things… and you’d never have to leave…” 

“Oh,” Steve’s heart swells. “You’d want that?” 

Eddie nods again, “I want you for as long as I can have you.” 

“How does forever sound?” Steve teases, wanting that too. 

“Perfect,” he agrees before lunging at him for another kiss. 

—

When December 16th rolls around, Steve has all his things packed, they load it all into Eddie’s van and keep the non-essential things at Dustins in his cellar. It’s a relatively easy move, the hardest part was organizing Eddie’s closet so Steve’s things could fit in there. He convinces Eddie to donate some things, but by “donate” he meant put shit in a box and give it to Mike. 

And Wayne’s home that day too, he doesn’t go back to work until 8pm which means that he can make them dinner. He’s s happy to have Steve around, slightly because he’s loved Steve ever since he dragged Eddie out of hell and to a hospital— but mostly because Eddie loves him. They’re a little family. 

And, speaking of family: Scott comes over too. 

The 4 men sit around a little table and chat and laugh and celebrate the start of something new. Something beautiful. New love, but more specifically, Gay love. 

“Um,” Steve starts to speak when the conversation starts to lull. “Do you guys know any other lesbians in the area?” 

They nod, “Yeah, we do, why?” Wayne asks. 

“My best friend thinks she’s the only lesbian in the whole town and I thought maybe we could have like a gay New Year's party or something so she would feel less alone?” 

“Does she have a fake ID?” Eddie asks and Scott glares at him. “What? Candace and Sharon literally run a gay bar in Indy, we could just go there all together.” 

“You guys can go,” Scott waves his hands. “I am not going to a club at my big age. I am long past finding that fun.” 

“Robin would love to go,” Steve announces for her. “We’ll find her something to use.” 

“Candy isn’t above sneaking someone in,” Wayne teases. “You guys will have a blast.” 

“Can I just say thanks again for letting me stay here?” Steve asks, feeling a little emotional with how amazing this is all turning out to be. 

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Wayne waves it off. 

“You could’ve even moved in with me, or just kept your things at my place,” Scott offers. “Any kid of Waynes is a kid of mine.” 

He gets a little choked up, unsure of what to say, he just smiles. “Thank you,” is all he can muster. 

Going from having 1 dad who didn’t even care to call him on his birthday to having Eddie’s 2 dads who’d do anything for him, thanks to Eddie is just too much to handle right away. But he’ll get used to it. 

This is his family now. 

They’ll have to do this every year now; a big dinner on the 16th of December every year to celebrate coming home. 

General Taglist 

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch @ssavanessa22

Steddie

@nosaladallowed-ao3  @wifeyreid @girl-with-an-orange-cat @sunshinemunchkin @luna-munson83 @manda-panda-monium @steve-thehair-mamabear 

[ownedbythescribe]

Sumeru | Lost In You (Part 2)

ıllı Synopsis: Lost in your eyes, in your voice, and in your touch. Even with a simple turn, these men are captivated. For them, there is only you.

ıllı Genre: Fluff, Romance

ıllı Notes: Gender Neutral Reader

ıllı Part 1: Sumeru | Lost In You (Part 1)

ıllı A/N: A re-edit of Lost In You (Sumeru Edition)! I had to separate the two because of some uploading error.

🍁 CYNO — LUPUS AUREUS

The desert was unforgiving and harsh. The heat could cause a person to faint should they forget their water skin. The cold would freeze anyone to the core if they forget to bring blankets as a heat source. Not to mention, the sandstorms that frequent the desert could make anyone lose their way and wander for hours until help is available. The forest rangers and matra in Caravan Ribat reminded travelers and locals of the do’s and don’ts before they exit the Wall of Samiel. If one was ‘lucky’, they might even see the General Mahamatra in the area advising them and cracking his infamous ‘jokes’.

‘Are… are we really about to hear another one of his jokes?’ One forest ranger in the caravan thought, dread evident on his face.

And the ranger was right! The General did tell them jokes he thought while he was chasing a runaway scholar last week. He thought it was hilarious, but only a few found his jokes hysterical. One of them was you. It might not be because of what the joke was about, but sometimes, it would be due to his delivery. It was heartwarming how he tried. Although when it came to the explanation part, you would immediately divert his attention to the food and your plans for the next day. As much as you love him, it was better not to make the food wait.

Such an occurrence was present in today’s lunch. It was not often that Cyno would come home to join you for lunch, but when he did, you two would often find it hard to separate afterward.

“Dear, have you told Tighnari that we will be visiting next week and that we’ll be there until dinner?“ You questioned, adding beans to the mixed rice you were cooking. Candace taught you this recipe while you were in Aaru Village last week. It was one of the dishes that you enjoyed.

“Yes. Tighnari wrote a letter back that they should be back in the afternoon. It would be better if we travel mid-morning. We can stop by the city to buy gifts.” He replied. You thanked him before taking out the plates and setting the food down. You added buttered chicken and baklava to enjoy.

While eating, you conversed about his new deck and jokes. He was proud to say that he kept up with the meta and coaxed you to rebuild yours and play with him sometime. You shook your head and told him that you will be destroyed in minutes. He scoffed.

“I’ll help you rebuild your deck. They are selling a new pack that you might like actually. And—“ He rambled. The way his crimson eyes sparkled made your heart beat fast. It was like you were falling in love all over again.

“Hmm? I’m not yet used to it, but I would love to see how your game with Tighnari will go. You two had been keeping a strange yet cute rivalry between you that it’s admirable.” You voiced, taking a bite of the baklava. The crunchy texture was enough that you let out a soft moan at how good it tasted. Cyno could only stare, a flush of red visible on his face.

“Dear, are you all right? You’ve been staring for some time now. Am I that beautiful that you forgot the food before you?” You joked.

“Yes, you are.” He immediately replied. You paused, frozen at the comment. Heat rose to your cheeks, and you huffed in embarrassment. He was too smooth!

“But that moan, I’d like to hear it again.” He muttered. You whipped your head to give him a questionable look, only to have him pull you to your bedroom. Safe to say that you were pampered the whole afternoon till midnight.

“You’re mine.”

🍁 WANDERER — PEREGRINUS

Sumeru was different from Inazuma, the Wanderer knew that. But there were times that he was reminded of his past, the one which he tried to erase himself from. The hardworking researchers with their ridiculous thesis, the smell of food wafting through the streets, and the falling leaves of the Divine Tree. It truly resembled his home. Don’t get him wrong though, he was more satisfied staying here than there.

“Sca— Wanderer, I got some chazuke in Port Ormos! Can you believe it?” You shouted as you ran towards him. He gave you a soft glare, reminding you not to run and trip yourself. Just as he said that you tripped.

“I told you to be careful, stupid.” He said in a ‘I-told-you-so’ tone. You pouted, pointing that he was the one who jinxed you. He gave you his infamous dead eyes which made you slip away from his grasp and present the tea instead. You also showed the matcha tea recommended by Dehya and Dunyarzad who you had luckily met in the market earlier.

“You also got the Lesser Lord’s dessert?” You nodded. Nahida was elated after seeing the candied aljenakh nuts and milktea.

Wanderer hummed in thought before asking if there was somewhere you had to go for the afternoon. Recalling your schedule, there was none. The papers were already done, and the other sages were forcing you to finally take a break. You had been working hard to rebuild Sumeru with the others, not to mention the number of places you visited to check if policies were implemented. Wanderer would go with you as your guard, which made trips bearable.

“None from what I recall. Is there somewhere you want to go?” It was the first time he wanted to go somewhere with a company. Often, it was him saying he wanted to be alone with his thoughts and would disappear for hours. It did worry you, but Nahida would assure you that he will come back to you. Although you two had not established what relationship you have, you knew that there was some level of love that bordered between you.

“Hey, are you listening?” He asked, annoyed that your mind was drifting elsewhere. You chuckled nervously and confessed that you were a bit tired, but you want to go wherever he wished. His purple eyes stared at you before using his vision. Before you know it, he was carrying you in his arms.

The altitude caught you off guard that you clung to him tightly. The sound of soft chuckles made you look up, only to see his soft eyes. It eased your fear a little.

“Don’t worry, I will not drop you. Maybe.” He joked. You gasped and smacked his arm. It was not a funny joke, but he found your reaction adorable. So feeble in his arms.

“I can hear your thoughts, Wanderer. Might I remind you that I can easily pull us down to safety with the amount of fauna and flora around us?” You sneered. The Wanderer huffed before zooming to his destination which was in Apam Woods.

It was a calming ride honestly. Occasionally, he would stop to check the map while you were left in the dark. You tried to ask where you two were going, but he just told you to stay still. It irked you to no end. It was until you reached the place.

Apam Woods was full of a variety of species, but this flower field? It had been a long time since you found one. They were rare and usually only grew in this area. The soft smile adorning your face was enough to make this day worth it.

“Ah! Because you pulled me around, I forgot to give this! Here.” You placed your gift around his wrist, securing it tightly. Once you were satisfied, he glanced at it. It was a simple bracelet, weaving his colors. The intricate design and the ornaments were specifically for him.

“It’s not ugly, that’s for sure.” He complimented. You grinned before sitting down. The forest was truly beautiful, and this sight, you will not forget this. Not even after hundreds of years.

“Also, Happy Birthday, (New Name). Thank you for being born!” You uttered, his new beautiful name slipping from your lips.

Please do not copy or repost my stories, but notes and reblogs are always appreciated!

[betterthanyalls]

Hello there @betterthanyalls!!!!! First off can I just say that your one-shots and writing skills in general are amazing!!!!! You're a very talented writer my friend, keep it up. 😊👍💞 As for requests, if it's not too much trouble can I request a one-shot of Mugman snitching to Felix and Bendy about Y/N and Cuphead wreaking havoc and causing trouble in the town yet again??? And Felix and Bendy getting pissed off at both of them and ended up scolding/reprimanding them, rightfully so??? And Mugman being the damn goody-two-shoes angel that he is gets a pass and doesn't get scolded of course. Instead, Mugs gets praised and thanked by Felix for putting both Y/N and Cuppyface in their places. I apologize that this is so long and wordy. Feel free to skip over my request if it's just too much. 😅 

ofcccc <33

sorry if this isn't perfect!

Words: 771

Published: 10/20/2023

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Late Night Scolding

Y/n and Cuphead quietly climbed back into the castle dormitory that they resided in with the others. It was well past midnight—almost 3:00 AM, to be exact. As they slowly tiptoed into the room, a lamp flicked on. The low light revealed Bendy and Felix with disappointed faces and a nervous Mugman behind them.

The two troublemakers immediately jumped, not expecting anyone to be up right now. Y/n slowly turned to look at the two disappointed toons. 

“…Good morning..?” She spoke nervously with an anxious chuckle, unsure of what to do. She glanced at Cuphead to get some help, but all she saw was him glaring daggers at Mugman.

“Y/n. Do you know what time it is?" Felix whisper shouted, hoping not to wake the others. “You could have gotten seriously injured out there, and with Cuphead? You two should never be left alone; you could cause World War III for all we know." Felix rambled. 

He always overthought and rambled when it came to Y/n’s safety, which is something she never understood. Why would he care so much about a girl he just met a few days ago? 

“Slow down, Felix; I’m just fine. See?” Y/n tried reassuring the worried feline. She looked at Bendy; he was glaring at Cuphead. Cuphead was still glaring at Mugman. Mugman was looking around nervously. None of them were willing to contribute to the conversation.

"It doesn't matter; you still could’ve gotten hurt!” Felix pressed. 

“You don’t even know what we were doing.” Y/n counterred.

“I know enough, like how you and Cuphead started bar fights, painted over Stink's house, broke into the training facility, set chickens free, and more.” Felix glared roughly at Y/n. 

Cuphead let out a soft chuckle. Felix's attention was drawn to the sentient ceramic.

"Do not think you are out of it, tea cup." Bendy finally joined the conversation with a scowl. 

"Teacup?! Okay, then, 'pRiNcE cHaRmInG,' tell me when you had some fun." Cuphead smirked.

 "That is the dumbest excuse I have ever heard." Bendy deapanned.

“You’re the dumbest toon I’ve ever heard.” Cuphead clenched his fists tightly.

“That doesn’t even make sense with what we are talking about!” Bendy stood up and got into Cuphead’s face.

Y/n’s looked around the room; a few of the toons were shifting in their makeshift beds. She needed to step in and calm these two down. Y/n felt a lump in her throat; she wasn’t up for confrontation or stopping arguments today. 

"Hey guys," Y/n muttered, "you might wake the others up."

But alas, the two arguing toons made no effort to hear their human friend.

Y/n frowned with a wrinkled brow. “Will you two just stop?!” She raised her voice as she put her hands on both their chests and shoved them away from each other. They both stumbled slightly, a little flustered that they got ahead of themselves so much that Y/n had to shove them apart. Secretly, they were mainly focused on Y/n touching their chests.

Y/n quickly quieted down, praying she didn’t wake up the others. “Bendy, Felix, we are sorry for going out and causing havoc. Aren’t we, Cuphead?” Y/n gritted her teeth at him

Cuphead crossed his arms and looked away, biting his inner cheek as he muttered incoherently. 

Bendy raised a nonexistent eyebrow. “What was that, dish?”

“I said,” Cuphead began with venom in his tone until he looked at Y/n’s glare. Cuphead let out a defeated sigh. “Sorry.”

“Now that we have that sorted out," Felix began in a happy tone until he became serious. “Go to sleep before I get Ruck in here.” 

That threat alone caused both Y/n and Cuphead to run in opposite directions for their beds. Felix merely smirked in satisfaction. Mugman slowly walked back to his bed, tired. Just as Bendy and Felix sat on the ground on their sleeping bags, Donald turned to face Cuphead, Bendy, and Felix. 

“You guys really care for her, huh?’ Donald smirked mischievously. That caused Felix to look down bashfully, Bendy to sigh irritatedly and lay down, and Cuphead to start sputtering nonsense, trying to deny Donald's accusation.

Finally, after Cuphead couldn't come up with a response, it was silent. All the toons plus Y/n were sleeping peacefully in their beds. With the balcony doors still wide open, the soft winds of the night blew around them calmly. The moon showed it’s cool gaze through the doorway, peering upon the young prophecies. With one last nightly prayer, the world calmed. 

Good night, dear.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

“Why don’t you answer my text/message?”

Um, well, I want to but to answer takes time and thinking and dealing with emotions. I have to phrase things very, very carefully**. It struggle to me sure I can’t confuse you or offend you or be misunderstood or provoke a chain of conversation I don’t want to get into or…

I want to answer “how are things going” but I don’t want to find myself overwhelmed in a tidal wave enthusiastic, energetic, unrealistic, and utterly unsolicited advice. And I don’t want pity either.

I also don’t want to face a barrage of follow up questions and the expectation that I will explain in great detail and with full back story.

I don’t have the energy!!!!

I’m TIRED. I’m so damn tired, but trying figure out how to talk to you actually makes me more tired.

I know I need to answer.

I’m busy all day, so there is no time. Rush, rush, pushing myself as hard as I can. I don’t even carry my phone or have a way check my messages most of that time.

I tell myself I’ll do it after supper, but then it’s 9pm and if I am going to let myself sculpt and watch a movie (my only “me” time of the day) I better get cracking.

If I do answer first I am being pulled into a vortex of stress and time, with the expectation on your end that it becomes like a typed phone conversation. You think I will answer in real time, chat away with fingers flying, while I’m thinking of how I need to light the hot water heater and do the dishes and put things away and what about the laundry and how much time will I have left to watch a movie now and should I just skip it because damn I’m tired and OMG how did they get that from what I wrote…

You want rehashing, dishing dirt, dwelling on troubles I’d rather escape for a bit, and so much else I don’t really feel like or do easily.

I can do chit chat with strangers with great ease, but they aren’t expecting anything. They forget what I say by the end of the day. You expect a lot more. You often literally ask a lot more.

It was so much easier with my parents. They got me. Well, close enough. We could ramble all over the place without getting lost, because we were working from the same map. It felt more like a conversation of ideas than gossip. Talking to them was comfortable and relaxing, even fun.

I miss not having to weigh ever single damn word. They get very heavy very fast.

It feels like an act of translation. Maybe not like expressing yourself in a second language, but much more like a third you only learned in a class your took in your second language. You can do it

I tell myself I’ll answer tomorrow, after I’ve slept, when my brain is back functioning and I have the energy for a conversation. I am so, so, so TIRED!

But then the next day starts and I’m busy, busy, busy, busy…

And now you are offended. It’s been hours, why haven’t answered. I know you take it personally. I have to answer the second I get time.

It’s 11PM. I only stopped being busy. If I write now I’ll be heading to bed past midnight, AGAIN. I’m so tired.

I don’t want to bother you if you are still up, because I know your nature is to reply in minutes.

I tell myself I’m thinking of you by not answering tonight. Letting you not have to respond or deal with listening to my troubles before bed.

But it’s me. I’m tired.

I want to talk to someone so much, to vent and ramble, peppering it with things that have caught my interest … as is my nature.

But that isn’t the kind of conversation you want.

And so I wait, wait for the time I never have and the energy that always drains away, wait for my brain to have the strength to pull replicating your wiring for a bit…

And then, when I can wait no more I send something, fumbly and awkward. And you misunderstand or get attached to a tangent or get intrusive in your eagerness to help or…

Or, honestly, I get so embarrassed by how long it is taking me to reply I end up just hoping for one of my tech problems so I can have an excuse to apologize, and the apology will be a nice space filler for the conversation I’m not up to having.

I want to answer “How are things going?” with “Exhausting”. If I do, do you promise to let me stop there and go sleep?

No, that would seem terse and rude, so completely out of character from my verbose style that it would cause trouble.

I dunno. I think I will sleep on it. Again.

** NOT an issue on Tumblr. It isn’t that I trust you will understand any better, or even that you are more like hypothetical people that might possibly read my posts, but that the real world implications of misunderstanding are just so much lower. Accidentally get on someone’s wrong side here, and what, get unfollowed or some nasty anonymous messages? Get misunderstood by a person you know in the real world and you could end up severing a crucial connection, like “who is gonna give me a lift when my car breaks down now?!?”

[madrone33]

I'm so glad the PJO show stuck the landing. I've seen a lot of shows lately that have a habit of, uh, not doing that, so I'm really happy I liked the finale episode!

(Also because I watched it with my mum, and she hasn't seen anything but the first two episodes and my rambling recaps, so I'm glad my show didn't disappoint me in front of her lol)

MAJOR SPOILERS for the PJO finale past this point!

There are only two things I can think of that I didn't really like, and that Gabe's- whole thing, basically, soz. I get why they toned him down for the visual format, and I'm not trying to undercut the actual abuse that is still happening, I just personally like Sally turning her piece of shit abusive husband to stone and then selling his statue to get money for a degree lol.

And then also the dropped police plot line is a bit iffy. They probs cut it for time or smth, but it just felt weirdly unresolved. Like, they set it up so well, and then they don't follow through at all, just straight up don't mention it again. Idk, maybe they'll bring it back for the 2nd season? Not sure how that'd work tho. It's a minor issue, but it did feel strange to me.

The rest of it was very well done though, imo!

It starts with Luke saying The Thing but different?? Giving The Last Day of Summer from The Lightning Thief musical vibes fr fr.

The fight with Ares was hella cool, with the awesome wave, and the choreography was pretty well done to my completely inexperienced eye. The ichor looked cool, very handy that it's gold so they can show 'blood' on screen and still keep it PG lol. I was cheering Percy on so hard.

They did the flashbacks so well. Honestly, every episode's done the flashbacks well, but Luke? Oh yeah. As soon as he showed up on screen, helping Percy, preparing him, I knew the end of the episode was gonna hit so hard.

The trio is still amazing. They play off of each other so well, and all their actors are so talented!

The necklace!!

Ok, Percy had zero chill on Olympus. He straight up said his shit to Zeus, knowing he'd probably be killed for it and not giving a single fuck because that was his world and his friends and his mum that were going to be hurt if this stupid war continued, and he was going to make Zeus listen even if it killed him.

And then Poseidon steps in and surrenders and when I tell you I audibly gasped I'm not kidding. Like- The gods don't just back down when they're fighting, that's not how their power dynamic works, how the glory system works, how their pride and respect and status works. I'm probs not explaining it very well 'cause it's like 1:30 am rn, (I really should stop writing these essays at midnight lol) but yeah. Poseidon was giving up a lot. And he didn't care. Because that was his son, and his son was worth more than any glory could give him.

Also, funny side note: after they started speaking what I assume is greek, and then switched back to english, my brain for some reason decided to completely forgot my native language and just- didn't process english anymore. I kid you not, it just registered as sounds without meaning. Completely alien. I sat there without understanding the next four sentences they said until my brain clicked back in and I was like, ohhh, they're speaking english. And then I had to rewind and listen to it again lol.

Zeus smugly saying he'll announce his "swift and crushing victory" and Poseidon rolling his eyes was so sibling energy lol.

... So, does Poseidon yeeting Percy back to camp without answering mean he's too overcome by emotion to say 'yes' or that he's too guilty to admit 'no'?

I like how all the cheering and clapping is muffled out by the music at first, because Percy's still shocked that he's actually alive. It's only when Annabeth hugs him that he fully processes the fact that he's safe.

Gonna be honest, I'd completely forgotten that they thought Clarisse was the Lightning Thief. They did a good job of reminding me though.

Yeah, Luke's betrayal was executed better here than the books imo. First of all, the lighting is immaculate. The past episodes had an issue with night scenes and being super dark, but the fireworks lighting up selective scenes really works.

I like how Percy figures it out first, and almost challenges Luke to deny it. And Luke is- not prepared. He had a plan. He was going to ease into this. And it hurts all the more because Percy is scared and angry and betrayed and Luke never wanted to hurt him.

What's done so well is that you can see how Luke didn't want to fight- and then Percy mentioned Hermes and Luke just snapped. Trigger button. Wrong thing to say. Now, suddenly Percy wasn't the 12 year old kid Luke was trying to save and help, he was just someone who'd said the name of That Man and now Luke was just bitter pain and rage.

Also, Percy accidentally cutting Luke - with a sword that can't even harm him anyway - and immediately apologising, and then Luke only seeing a weakness to exploit and going in for the kill. That hurt.

Ok wait imma copy paste a small ramble I posted earlier to here because it stands true. Here we go:

A bit rambling, a might not make much sense, but had a thought about that scene when Annabeth saves Percy and reveals herself. There's two things that stuck out to me; she didn't let herself show any emotion but anger, and she'd been there the whole time but only interfered just then.

She'd been suspicious enough of something to go against the plan and follow them. She heard Luke confess his betrayal while invisible and alone. She heard his true feelings about the gods, about their parents, and now after everything - after Athena. After Percy - she understood him so much more and so much less at the same time. She'd been locked in shocked grief that froze her, and the only thing that snapped her out of it was seeing Percy beneath the blade of the person they'd both trusted, and the need to protect burnt away the numbness long enough for her to compartmentalise and lock away everything but anger so she could move.

Luke's face though. Oof. All I could think was "She's like a little sister to me." (Don't crucify me if that's not his exact wording, it's almost 2am now, I'm tiiiired.) But yeah, the fact that he probably could've taken them both if he truly wanted, but the moment he saw her and her betrayed, furious face, and then looked down and saw the kid he'd been about to kill- He just ran.

The parting of ways, with the trio at Thalia's tree, bright plans for the future, hugging and smiling and making a pact to come back to each other, no matter what- that was so toothrottingly sweet.

And then the cabin scene? Heartwarming af. The mother and son duo is just. You can feel their desperate relief and love for each other. It's so good.

A bit wary when Kronos showed up, wasn't sure if the whole prior stuff was 'just a dream' but I'm guessing Percy was just remembering how they reunited, and Kronos hijacked his nice memory. That was well done, too. Percy was just so Done with this guy, like c'mon, give the kid a break. And then him waking up with his mum again - like I said; they're so sweet. The fact that this happens often enough for them to have a dedicated book lmao. Also, him calling Kronos grandpa was on point.

It exits out of the window Sally was sitting on! And it's raining!! (Also, another side note, but whenever something exits with a window I just think of The Last of Us episode 3).

Ok so they have to make a second season. It's the law. They gotta.

Hmm. Think that's everything I can think of saying now lol.

(Thank you for everyone who worked hard on this! Even if I don't like some stuff, I know that so many hours of work was poured into this and I appreciate it so much!)

EDIT: OH WAIT I almost forgot Ares completely out of pocket line about Percy's mum, and yeah, no way was he getting out of that now, asshole. Also, the way Percy and Luke's parents are a trigger. The character similarities are similying~

[cissyenthusiast010155]

hi! i really need to write down my thoughts right now, but i also need someone to read this, so i figured you’d be the right person

it’s about 2:30 a.m. and i know i probably shouldn’t trust the thoughts that come up after midnight too much but i just can’t help but feel like i’m the most unlovable person to ever exist. and i’m not only talking romantic partners (that i obviously don’t have lol), but also friends and family. i’m no one’s first choice, not even second or third, i’m the one that gets picked if there’s no better option available. it’s always been that way and i don’t know why that is and i don’t know how to fix it…i know i can’t force others to love me. i always ask myself whether it’s the way i look or the way i act that makes people think: ugh no not her…or do i just give off the wrong vibes? but like there’s not much i can change about that as well and i don’t even know if i want to change myself.

i’ve been told that i should give it time and that eventually everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to…but what if it doesn’t? i want nothing more than a partner that i can give all my love to, that i can be gentle with, that i can be vulnerable with, that i can be committed to…but what if that’s not in store for me? do i just…move on? forget about it? but how will i move on if the thing i crave most is genuine human connection?

i don’t know…i think in the end it’s just me feeling so incredibly alone while other people around me seem happy and are someone’s number one priority. if something happened right now, good or bad, i’d have no one to call and that just makes me so sad to think about.

anyways, i will stop my rambling, thank you for taking the time to read this. i’m not sure if this even makes sense because i feel like i can barely string two sentences together right now, but still thank you! <3

-🐛

{Let’s Talk Loneliness and Feeling Loved…}

Hey heyy anon…!! First off, I am so proud of you for reaching out. Such a brave and vulnerable thing to do. Thank you for sharing. Second, everything you have said here is extremely valid. I want you to remember that. Remember that you and your feelings are valid. ♥️

Yes, as you said, it probably is not best to listen and believe your 2:30am thoughts. You’re most likely tired and not thinking thoroughly…. When you start feeling overwhelmed that late or early, try some techniques to comfort and calm yourself down. Maybe a cold shower or a hot bath (vice versa too), maybe some tea, or sometimes simply going to bed can be helpful to give yourself a kind of reset.

*sigh* I am sorry to hear that you feel unlovable, dear anon… In all aspects. I understand the feeling. Your feelings and experiences are extremely valid. You say that you’re never the first option, usually the last remaining one, and I am so sorry for you.

So you asked, are you unlovable, why do you feel so unlovable and how can you fix it?

Well for one, you are not unlovable. You at your core, as human being, are capable of love (unless you’re a psychopath or sociopath, but this is an aside). However, it is possible for trauma or for the person themselves to hinder their capability of love. This can happen sometimes when said person has been hurt, scarred, or traumatized in the past, so they put up walls to keep from being hurt. If you think this is possible for you, I highly recommend you seek professional help to accept, process, and heal from your trauma.

Second, you most likely feel unlovable because of the constant negative reassurance and the negative mindset you have around your lovability. When you have people constantly not choosing you, or people telling you that you’re unlovable, or you telling yourself that you’re unlovable, that affects you. And in turn, you will begin to believe it. Try to shift your mindset. Remind yourself that you can be loved. That you will be loved.

The most important relationship in life is the one you have with yourself. If you can’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you. So think about your relationship with yourself. How can you improve it? How can you love yourself better? This is the first big step in healing from your feelings of being unlovable.

If people don’t like the way you look or your vibe, then they are not the people for you. Present yourself to the world in your most authentic and honest way of being, and the people who are worth your time will find you and you will find them.

Don’t move on or forget. That will lead you to neglect and ignore you and your human need for social connection. Instead, focus in on what you want to improve about yourself. Reflect the people you want to attract in your way of being.

But at the same time, don’t give it more attention than it deserves and needs. If you under-feed a plant or if you over-feed it, it can die nonetheless, no matter which method. You want to strive for moderation.

I’m sorry you feel alone. ♥️ I relate to those feelings of severe loneliness. I would remind you of these things: People aren’t what they appear, most people aren’t as happy as they appear. Let yourself be your main priority, if you don’t put yourself first, others won’t either. And lastly, reach out, don’t wait for others to pick you, pick them out first.

Of course, I am happy to take the time for you anon because you are worth it ♥️♥️. It all made absolute sense. You articulated yourself well. Thank you again for reaching out!! Don’t hesitate to reach out again and again, I’ll always be here to listen and give my two cents. Hope you have a lovely day/night!! 💞💞💞

Talk with Me ❤️‍🔥

[teal-skull]

Powerwolf doesn't take anything seriosly and No prayer at midnight might just be about sex....

but lemme switch to analysis mode for a sec to ramble because I think I'm seeing commentary on hypocrisy and/or religious criticism.

So the overall story seems to be about this small parish who obedient serve the lord and the clock with the lead of their priest. However when the clock turns to midnight all religious principles seem to become obsolete and they revel in sin. I don't know wether this is part of the religion (so they serve during the day to make up for the sins they commited at midnight or maybe partying isn't even a sin if you do it at midnight) or if the parish is rejecting religion for the night even if they shouldn't. Maybe the video is about hypocrisy of being a believer who rejects their faith at night to sin, or then not.

At the end the priest breaks the clock, stopping it to midnight forever which could symbolise breaking free from the cycle of sin and repent? Or rejecting religion all together? (Maybe to keep sinning forever?)

Its the second verse that keeps me thinking:

(Copy pasted from Genius, but they had some holes which I tried to fill s cording to my best ability)

Never dare to unattend the sermon

For the mass is what you can't betray

Any given day we praise the lord

Its all we must obey

Send your (???) in your final hour

We remember all the rights (?) who/to say

May your body rest in peace and prayer any night and day

(Pre-chorus)

No! Break out of sainted holy fire

I said no! Wait for the end on burning pyre

I'm considering what is the message / story they are going on this part specifically. In the music video Attila is walking around the "church" and pointing (holier than thou -kinda way) to the parishians cleaning the place where they missed a spot. This is probably my bias, but I see a religious leader using religion as leverage to make his followers work for him. (I mean they might also be doing it voluntarily as a community and they just have a leader making quality checks in which case this video isn't criticising religion)

When you combine this with the lyrics it seems like the song is encouraging to break free from binding religion (or reject it just for nighttime, and in the morning everything goes back to normal) because "no prayer can testify" (during midnight?)

The pre-chorus that really gets me, because it tells "to break out of sainted holy fire" which I interpret specifically as breaking out of religious rules which are imposed with the threat of hell and eternal torture. The word choice "sainted holy fire" is interesting because it gives this idea that it's messed up that a fire which is supposed to hurt you has been made sacred and you should break free from that.

If we read "end on burning pyre" to mean Hell (because cremation wasn't traditionally part of a christian burial even though today it is normal) the above point is emphasized even more with rejection to just wait to end up in hell, Kinda like saying "No, I'm not going to fear for Hell anymore or wait for afterlife"

Now, "end on burning pyre" could also mean funeral and/or death, which gives another interesting interpretation where the message is "I refuse to think of my mortality" or "I cast away my fear of death to live in the moment"

I don't believe that this is necessarily what the band is trying to say. I'm probably looking too deeply into this. I might also be misguided by my personal bias because I look at Powerwolf from atheist/agnostic perspective, so I'd appreciate if other people could share they thoughts about this.

[starmansymphony]

saw a post abt found family on my dash and it instantly unlocked Thoughts™ so i'm gonna ramble under a read more. thoughts will be both discussion of points brought up in the post and my own thoughts unrelated to it.

(i should also note that i don't hate the post, i do think it brings up some good points, but i don't think i fully see eye to eye with it and reblogging it would feel disingenuous to my own feelings. also i don't think it would be fair to op to reblog it JUST to make counterpoints and observations in the tags. i'm not even sure if all my thoughts would fit in the tag + character limit.)

i'm not trying to defend the western status quo of what a family is here, but if you say family, then lots of people are going to think about a nuclear family first and categorise characters accordingly. that's just how many societies teach shit to people. not saying it's good, but it is how it is. and i doubt that that's going to change anytime soon.

on that note, of COURSE people who sees characters having a parent/child or sibling dynamic are going to get defensive when someone else ships them. that's kind of just common sense??? hell, it's not the exact same but i get weird seeing certain characters shipped if i hc them as aro hard enough. i don't tell people to stop having their own headcanons, though, that's just weird.

although i do think op brings up a good point with their specification of unrelated mature adults, like people get into relationships others many years older/younger than them irl heaps and as long as they're both mature then that's fine. eg a 30 y/o and a 50 y/o getting together is fine.

also i do think that claiming it would be incestuous when the characters are unrelated is going a bit far. and i'm sure op's seen it happen, i can feel it in my bones.

ALTHOUGH. (this is the unrelated-to-the-post thoughts part)

i've never really, truly understood the hype around found family as a concept? and as bizarre as it may sound, i think it's because i have a stable, loving family (and probably the autism as well but mainly the stable family).

i've never even understood the hype around nuclear families. not in a "this is what you should aim for in life" way in this context, but in a "having a family is the greatest and you should love your family" way. like, to me, a family is just either 1; the people you're related to and you kinda just hang out with them i guess, or 2; the people you really really like and care about and you hang out with them.

so when you go to found family, which is meant to reject traditional family roles, i simply?? cannot compute how it's a family??? like a family, to me in my mind, at bare minimum, is siblings. if there aren't even siblings then wouldn't it just be a really close friend group at that point??? and i know this is a case of letting people label their relationships however they want and i should really just shut up and keep my nose out of other peoples' business, but i simply. cannot understand. and maybe it's just past midnight but i don't think i ever will. and i do feel like i'm missing out on something by not understanding why found family is so important to people. why it's so important to my friends.

i will stop here before this becomes about non-romantic love in general. goodbye.

[chocoenvy]

Happy Birthday to you...

Sagau!Diluc x Reader

what if reader and an acolyte shared a birthday?

10000% self indulgent. I've had the thought of sharing a birthday with an acolyte for a hot minute now due to the fact that Diluc and I share a birthday. And now that our birthday has finally come around I decided to write about it! Happy birthday Diluc and to anyone else out there that shares our birthday!!!!!

Warnings: Cult behaviors, fluffy, Diluc isn't exactly fond of reader but doesn't hate them either

The festival left a bitter taste in his mouth. It had ever since he was a kid. Sugary snacks and the creator's favorite cakes out on display did nothing to him, in fact it merely made him scrunch his nose in distaste.

It was the same thought every year, nobody cared to celebrate his birthday because of you. Because the all-creator was born this day. It should be an honor to be blessed with creation, to be so closely intertwined and favored by the creator to share a birthday with them. He was chosen is what everybody would tell him.

Except this day was never his special day. Not like he needed it anymore, birthdays stopped having meaning when he was quite young, however he still had bitter memories of it from when he was young.

His eyes caught onto kids blowing dandelions, making birthday wishes to the All-Creator. His maroon eyes held distaste, briskly walking back into his house. He was seen around the festival, he bought a little cake for himself, and now he could say he did the bare minimum. He could go home now without Kaeya and whoever else on his back about worshipping the creator.

Before he even realized it, he sat at his desk in Dawn Winery. With a quill in his dominant hand, he hesitated for a moment before beginning to write a letter to the traveler - your first vessel - as it had become customary.

The letter had derailed quickly, filling up the entire page in slightly messy handwriting. Honestly, the whole thing was unbecoming of him. Being so affected by this and then writing his feelings out in a letter. It all felt so... wrong. With a grim glare, he held the letter he had wrote, and it erupted into flames.

*~

Midnight struck and in your cozy home, you smiled as your device showed the date April 30th. A message popped up at the top of your screen, and you immediately knew what it was.

You eagerly went to see the letter sent by Diluc but was shocked to see how long it was.

With furrowed brows and eagerness in your stomach, you started reading:

Dear Traveler,

Today is not only my birthday, but yours as well. I have no doubt it is a joyous day considering all you have done for Teyvat. However... today is also the day the All-Creator blessed the Earth. The day their human vessel took form for the first time. It's a common legend, perhaps you've heard of it?

Well, either way, festivals are held on this day. Grand and full of splendor and things the All-Creator adores. I've always been seen as blessed to share this day with them but... it doesn't feel like I'm sharing. Ever since I was a child they overshadowed my birthday, and then so much happened as a kid. It made me ponder, if there was truly a merciful god, why would they allow such things to happen? If there were such thing as a god, why would they not grace us with their presence? Why not celebrate their birthday with us? Why not allow me to have this day as well?

Perhaps my ramblings sound like that of a madman, and perhaps they are. I doubt you could understand my plight as the hero of Teyvat. I'm sure everyone celebrates your existence no matter the circumstances.

Perhaps if my father were still around he would celebrate with me. Perhaps if I had done things differently.

It's all in the past now. This day is no longer my joyous day, but even still, I hope you have a good day. May all your wishes come true. If you wish to celebrate with me, I'll be at Dawn WInery as usual. I can get you some sparkling grape juice and we can have a meal we'd both enjoy for our birthday. If you so wish though it's fine if you don't show up. I've sent along a special ticket for Dawn Winery. Just give it to anyone at the Winery and they'll give you the food and gift I've prepared. Even if you don't want it, I merely ask you make use of it. Give it away or hold onto it if you so wish.

May your birthday be one to remember until our next.

Sincerely, Diluc.

For a moment, you merely stared at the screen, your jaw slack from shock. What the hell was his man going on about?

Lore-wise, had Kaeya managed to get him drunk on his birthday? Was that Hoyoverse's explanation for the bullshit he was spewing. But even then, none of this had been explained before hand. Who was this All-Creator? Why was Diluc acting so odd in the letter?

What was happening?

You mulled the thoughts over in your head as you pulled up the character screen, staring at Diluc. Whether he was important to your or not was irrelevant at the moment, he was your birthday buddy and he had just sent you a very odd letter. Did Hoyoverse put in the effort to have exclusive letters for if you and another character shared a birthday? Surely not. They can barely give you some scraps of food for their birthdays, much less exclusive gifts and letters.

Then you remembered the gift Diluc had mentioned. You checked your backpack for it and, sure enough, there was a special ticket.

"Dawn Winery VIP Ticket." You muttered, "A gift from Diluc on his and yours birthday. Turn it in at Dawn Winery and maybe you'll get something special. Diluc mentioned a meal and a gift in his letter."

You hummed, your brows furrowed, staring intently at the screen. As though if you scrunched up your nose and stared suspiciously at the ticket for long enough it'd give you the answers you were looking for.

After a minute of this, you roughly sighed and shrugged, exiting out of the backpack and going to your party set up. It was Diluc's birthday, so you might as well go to Dawn Winery with him.

A chuckle bubbled up in the back of your throat at the thought of Hoyoverse actually implementing a birthday activity with one of the characters. Now that was wishful thinking. But still, you could pretend. Plus, at the very least, maybe the ticket could get you some cool item or recipe.

So, with Diluc as the leader of your party, you made your way to Dawn Winery.

He felt your presence within him, urging him to run run run to the winery. Jumping down cliffs with agility and speed he never knew a mortal such as him could posses until your hand graced him.

It's the same thing each and every acolyte experiences. But he was surprised to see you so eagerly posses his body and use him to sprint as fast as possible to the winery. Were you really that excited to see what he had prepared? He didn't think you'd even care. You had never cared all of his other birthdays, where he had to celebrate alone. Where you overshadowed any and all birthday wishes he could have ever received.

So why now were you so interested in his little gift? Was it selfishness? Curiosity? Surely such a noble and supreme god such as yourself couldn't care for such trivial mortal matters. That's why all of he others whom had sent letters with offers to spend their precious time with you never got anything. You'd never shown up, too busy with godly duties or whatever their excuse was to save face. It had become standard practice by now to offer it up and for you to not show up.

So why now? Why his birthday were you rushing to turn in the ticket, with him as well?

Self-centeredness perhaps? The fact that it was your birthday and perhaps that's why you're rushing to celebrate his birthday. Nothing else mattered unless it's centered around you. At least that's the conclusion he came to. It's the only one that made sense to him.

You made it to the Winery with a pep in your step. It was then that you realized that there wasn't a specific person you were told to hand it to.

You roughly sighed, realizing that it was indeed another null note that meant nothing.

"Curse you Hoyoverse." You frowned, comically shaking your fist.

You shrugged and headed in anyways. Might as well pay a visit it Elzer and the ugly ass model the poor man got cursed with, and also a teeny tiny part of you was just a tad hopeful.

You cringed back when you saw his model, remembering how the manga had depicted him and now... he just had an ugly npc model.

You clicked on the speak option and the screen went black.

"Hello there your grace!" Text popped up where it usually would, under the name of Elzer, "Is there something you'd like to give me perhaps...?" He trailed off as though he already knew why you had came here, and your inventory popped up.

For a minute, you sat there in stunned silence. Staring at the black screen, your backpack, and then the words. Your grace. He'd said.

For a moment, fear struck your heart. Then realization hit you, "Oh!" You laughed it off, "Right, Elzer calls Diluc his grace." You shook your head at how you'd freaked out. The black screen was probably another glitch.

Still, it was a bit odd that he was referring to Diluc in particular. What if you had been a different character? What if you didn't even have Diluc?

"Hoyoverse? Putting effort into their game? Aha-" You chuckled, shaking your head and clicking on the only lit up item in your inventory. The ticket from Diluc's letter.

"Ah! The ticket from the master!" Elzer said, "Thank you for this, I'm sure the master will be delighted. Please, come this way, your grace."

Something was off... was Elzer... speaking directly to you? He was mentioning Diluc so that meant he wasn't talking to him... why was he calling you your grace?

Your head spun, the loading screen popped up and your body went slack. The only thing you could hear was the Dawn Winery music and then slowly... the smell of alcohol.

[weebswrites]

Hey! I recently came across your blog and I love your Obey me! HC so much☺️☺️ if its okay could I request the Obey me! Brothers + dateables reacting to MC hugging them, nuzzling closer and then saying “you smell like home”🥺🥺 thank you!!💕

The Demon Bros & Undatables: Reacting to MC calling them home :’)

Lucifer

• You’ve had a long day, and Lucifer is the only one who you know can cheer you up

• So you go to his office, walking in without knocking first, something you only did when you really needed him (which he knew)

• When he hears his door open he looks up with irritation, but then seeing it’s you he gets up and walks over to you with his arms open

• “MC, what’s wrong” his voice is soft and reaffirming, and you let yourself be wrapped in his arms

• You don’t answer at first, just listening to his heartbeat in his chest and enjoying the smell of his cologne

• “You smell like home” you whisper against his chest, and at that moment he swears he’s never felt love stronger than what he feels for you

• He does Not tear up. No sir not him!

• He tightens his arms around you a bit and kisses the top of your head, truly speechless at what to say

• “Then stay with me forever” he whispers, and you nod into his chest

Mammon

• He’s walking you back to your room in the HoL after the two of you got dinner together, and you’re chatting about the meal and how the waitress you had was really pretty

•  You arrive at your door, and you turn towards Mammon and hug him tightly, your head resting against his shoulder

• “Mmm, you smell like home” you comment to yourself, realizing after a second that he definitely heard you

• Big blush boy wraps his arms around you tighter than he ever had before

• “Sheesh MC, you’re gonna make me blush” he jokes, but his heart felt like it could explode he was so happy

• You hug for longer than the two of you usually did and you both fell asleep thinking about each other :)

Leviathan

• You were laying in his bed, his arm around your shoulders as you leaned into him, watching the newest episode of an anime

• You zoned out during the commercial break, resting your head against his chest

• “You smell like home, Levi”

• If you think Mammon blushed, you have no idea how hard Levi blushed

• He didn’t know what to say, and you thought you could feel the heat from the blush on his face

• You looked up at him and sure enough, his face was redder than you’d ever seen it

• You kissed his cheek, figuring you might as well really make him blush ✨

• He honestly blacked out a little lol

Satan

• You were reading in the library with him, you head on his lap as the two of you read your respective books

• It was getting late, so you closed your book and turned towards him, snuggling in his lap and closing your eyes

• His hand fell against your head, and he played with your hair as he continued to read

• “Home..” you whispered, a small smile crossing your face

• “Hm?” he hinted for you to repeat yourself

• “You smell like home” you repeated, opening your eyes and looking up at him

• He tried not to blush, but you knew him well enough you could see though his facade

• He held your gaze for a moment before moving his hand down to cup your face, eyes saying more than his words ever could

Asmodeus

• You’re spending the night in his room after a self care night, currently choosing which movie to fall asleep to (or talk through the night to)

• You decide on a meodicre movie from the human world, so it wouldn’t keep your attention too seriously

• He opens his arms for you, and you snuggle against him

• “Asmodeus...” you start

• “Yes?” he looked to you smiled

• “You smell like home” you pressed a light kiss to his chest and laid your head back down

• He was silent for a moment, then speaking “I’m glad you feel safe here, in my arms, MC”

• You end up talking about your lives throughout the night (yk one of the chats you have with someone until like four am about anything and everything)

Beelzebub

• You’re leaning against his arm in the kitchen as he snakcs, rambling to him about how frustrating classes had been

• “Mmm, but you smell like home, so I feel way better now that I’m with you” you end your rant and wrap an arm around his, holding onto him tightly

• He’s so touched :’)

• He isn’t great with words, though, so he leans over and kisses the top of your head and offers to make you your favorite food from the human world (or have it delivered)

• You smile into him, “That’d be great, Beel. Thank you”

Belphegor

• You whisper it as you’re falling asleep with him after a long day of classes and errands for Lucifer

• “You smell like home...”

• Not much wakes him up when he’s about to fall asleep, but a confession like this does the trick

• He wraps his arms around you and pulls you against him, pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder (or the back of your neck if you’re comfortable with that)

• “Thank you, MC” he whispers to you as you drift into a nap

Diavolo

• He’s working late into the night again, but he finished all his paperwork early so he can sit in bed with you as you sleep

• You scoot over and rest your head against the side of his thigh, not wanting to disturb his laptop but wanting to smell the comforting smell of your favorite demon

• “Dia...you smell like home” you whisper against him, and he almost thought he didn’t hear you right

• A human ?? Making his heart feel like this ??

• He hides his face in his hand for a moment before coming back to his senses

• “I’ll always be your home, MC. I promise” he said gently, moving a hand from his work to stroke your hair

Barbatos

• He’d had a longer day than usual with Diavolo, and you were practically asleep when he got into bed well past midnight

• “Mmm, welcome” you tease lightly, voice groggy

• “Go to sleep” he whispered, not wanting you to lose any more sleep than you already had

• You snuggled against his chest, appreciating his warmth, “You smell like home” you half consciously whispered

• ERROR: BARBATOS HAS STOPPED WORKING

• He holds you closer than he thought was demonly possible, whispering little words of affirmation to you as you fell asleep in his arms

Simeon

• You were walking around the park, holding hands and talking about your day

• The two of you passed a nice fountain, and decided to take a picture to remember your day together

• You moved closer to him, and suddenly your nose was filled with his scent

• “Simeon, you smell so good. Like, home” you commented, not expecting a blush to cross his face almost instantly

• “MC...” he was speechless, but just pulled you into a hug (and took a selfie of the two of you hugging, because he never wanted to forget this moment)

• “Thank you” he smiled the most genuine smile you’d ever seen, and you knew you wanted Simeon in your life forever

Solomon

• You’ve enlisted his help for cooking duty, and the two of you are working on your favorite dish from the human world

• He leans across you to grab a measuring cup, and you can’t help but notice how comforting and familiar he smells

• “Solomon, you smell like home” you turn and wrap your arms around him, inhaling deeply against him

• He !!

• “Awh, MC” he laughed lightly, “You should have told me sooner”, then setting down the measuring cup and wrapping his arms back around you

--------------------

A/N: I didn’t feel comfortable doing Luke w/this one just bc ,, he is a child and I would feel weird telling a child they smell like home yk ?? Anyways I ~loved~ this prompt hehe I hope you guys enjoy

[turtlefanboy]

Writing Prompt list

“can I kiss you?” “Of course..”

“Your perfect..” “no I’m not”

“I really want to make out with you right now”

“I can’t decide whether to hit you on the head for being an idiot or kiss you cause I can’t take my eyes off you” “maybe….I can pick?”

“Your eyes are like tiny galaxies I can stare into forever”

“Stay with me please..”

“Jesus your hot-“

“You literally look as beautiful as the boy Zeus kidnapped to be a water bearer, and became the Aquarius constellation” “I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment”

“Crush me” “what?” “I SAID PUNCH ME”

“I Will make sure your world doesn’t fall down”

“Is- is that my shirt?” “….no”

“Are you….checking me out right now…?” “Maybe I am maybe I’m not! Who knows! But yes I am”

“I Will stay with you as the world falls down”

“Your all I could ever dream of”

“Can we stay like this just a bit longer?”

“Will you marry me?”

“My heart only beats for you”

“Kiss me”

“Make me”

“Bite me”

“Cuddles now”

“How could you ever love me?” “How could I not?”

“Are you Persephone cause I wanna take you away in my arms and marry you~”

“Your so warm”

“Aren’t I heavy?” “Psh no! Your as light as a feather!”

“I'm fat” “no! your the perfect amount of chubby for wonderful cuddles!”

“I could get lost in your eyes”

“God stop saying stuff that makes me want to kiss you..”

“You know your my favorite” “I better be”

“You probably don’t want to hear about it..” “no I love listening to you ramble about the things you love”

“Don't look at me like that..”

“God your smile Is perfect”

“Everyone says I’m a girl….But I’m a boy!…” “yes you are and your the most handsomest boy I’ve ever seen”

“My love for you is literally ridiculous!!”

“I Will walk through fire, walk up mountains, fight any being, I will face any judgement people throw at us. Just to be with you”

“We’re the gay version of Jack and rose from Titanic!”

“Draw me like one of your French boys~” “put your clothes back on!!”

“Wait- your also a ninja???” “Yes I am” “god that makes you even hotter!” “What?” “I MEAN THAT MAKES YOU EVEN COOLER!!”

“I hate you!” “Well I hate you more!” “JUST KISS ALREADY!”

“You know you love them right?” “What?”

“Are you flirting with me?” “Have been for the past year thanks for noticing!”

“I’m Romeo and your Julian/Jules!” “It’s Romeo and Juliet” “yeah but we’re gay”

“Sit on my lap…” “what?” “I said sit on my lap”

“It’s okay I won’t let anyone harm you”

“You think I’m attractive?” “Yes very much so.” “….FUCK YEAH!”

“Can we make out?” “WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT!” “Maybe later then?”

“Are you the Sun? Cause you light my my whole world”

“I remember practicing in the mirror”

“May I have this dance?”

“I’m your good old fashioned lover boy”

“Hey I searched up handsome in maps and it led me to you, so how’s it going?”

“Don’t leave me” “I won’t”

"I refuse to stand by and let you go alone on a mission that could potentially get you Killed!"

"How dare you hurt them"

"maybe in another life then..." "no not in another life, it will be in this life"

"I love your hair"

"hey there" "what do you want Casanova?"

"Let them go now!" "no"

"I love the feeling of you in my arms"

"Is this a dream?" "no this is real"

"your like a fragile flower if the wind blew to hard you'd fall apart" "I'm not that fragile"

"we will be the emperors/rulers of our own world just me and you"

"I don't hate you...I could never....cause your my whole world...so don't go...stay here with me, stay here in my arms, stay here with me under the stars and moon...stay"

"c'mon my prince/highness, lets go out on the town tonight just the two of us" "okay my turtle knight in shining armor"

"bet you for a kiss that I can hold the whole world in my hands!" "psh fine! I know you can't!"

"who are you under that mask?" "I'm afraid you'll have to find out after midnight, but I have a feeling you already know who I am"

[kodzukyan]

better with you (until it kills me)

notes: it's always missing baji hours here </3 fluff, angst; alternative ending: always, always you

summary: four times you think you are in love with baji keisuke, and the one time you tell him.

wc: 3.7k

You're reasonably sure the only reason he chooses you to pair up with for the Japanese literature project is that you sit next to him, but it surprises you all the same. You don't think you have much of a presence in class, but you don't think you can say the same about your new partner, Baji Keisuke.

His slicked-back ponytail and thick frames make his presence seem like a poindexter, but there's something about his bruised knuckles and his fierce aura that makes him feel ferocious. You've noticed him hang out with the school delinquent on multiple occasions. You also think you've seen him laugh wildly as he beats up some of the local thugs who crowded around the said delinquent he's friends with.

He isn't who you expect him to be at first glance, and that intrigues you more than you like to admit. You're too nervous to openly ask, so you settle for stealing glances at him from the corner of your eyes.

So, when he really decides on you and submits the partner form, you don't know what to think.

In the time that you two are partners, you've discovered a couple of things about him. First, his handwriting and kanji absolutely suck. Despite that, he writes a letter addressed to someone named Kazutora every week without fail. As if that isn't endearing enough, it gets even more so when he pouts at the complex characters that he often gets wrong and the inevitable smile that breaks out whenever you show him how to write them correctly.

("Oh, thanks! I would probably fail my kanji tests without you and Chifuyu. Kazutora probably can't even understand what I'm saying," he laughs rambunctiously.)

Second, he's genuinely an unexpectedly good partner in terms of being punctual about meeting up. However, despite being on time, there is little progress on the project. Your work times often end up in discussions about random life topics rather than the project itself.

(“Do you like cats?” he asks out of the blue one day, head on the table and books already forgotten.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” you humor him because you’re also tired of researching Japanese literature.

“Wanna see my cats? They’re all strays,” he sits up suddenly, eyes lit and smile bright.

You nod, and he proceeds to take out his phone to show you pictures of his cats. You note his lock-screen is a picture of all his cats, and his camera roll is just full of his friends and mom, motorcycles, and the said cats. With shining eyes full of excitement, he tells you their names and their personalities in detail.

"Do you think cats recognize their names but choose to ignore us whenever we call them?" he resumes the conversation after he finishes showing you his gallery. He leans back as he balances his pencil on top of his pursed lips.

"Maybe. Depends on the cat? Maybe they just hate you?" you mimic his pose. You suppose thirty minutes of work is enough progress for the day.

"Ouch," he grimaces as if it shatters him directly in the heart.)

Third, sometimes he comes with his hair down and without his glances, with stains on his clothes that he claims are ketchup, despite it not smelling like that at all.

("Uh, hey, sorry I'm late today," he offers sheepishly as he runs a hand through his unbound hair.

"Oh, it's okay," you finally say after you take in his shaggy appearance. You try not to think about how handsome he is despite the bruises forming on his face. "Are you… okay?"

"All good! The ketchup bottle just randomly exploded," he laughs nervously and awkwardly. "Anyways!! The project!!"

You stare at him dubiously but nod anyway. "Okay, if you say so…")

Fourth, he has an extremely charming smile, especially when his fangs are in full display. To some, it may look fierce and menacing; to you, it looks cute, especially when his eyes are always brimming with life and his laugh is full of vitality.

More often than not you catch yourself staring at him because he's just so intriguing.

You try to ignore your racing heart when your stolen glances become shared ones, and he flashes you a grin softer than the smiles you've seen.

-----

“Uh, hi.” You say shyly as you enter through Baji’s window. It’s not frequently you seek out Baji at his own home, especially through the window he keeps open almost exclusively for stray cats to seek shelter.

“What the fuck?” Baji drops the stray cat he's cuddling as you give a slight wave, causing the cat to meow loudly at the sudden change in demeanor.

“Sorry to drop by unannounced. I, uh, just wanted some company.”

You feel vanishingly small as you awkwardly laugh and piece together some words that make sense. Home is supposed to be full of warmth, but your home is more of a house with people than a home with love. It’s a truth you’ve long accepted, but some days, it feels a little extra cold.

Therefore, you run, and somehow you end up here, in the comforts of Baji’s room.

Maybe you are currently a stray cat, feeling a little more lost than found. Maybe you find that he’s the sort of comfort that warms you a little when your heart feels heavy. Maybe you are just a little bit in like with him, and he is the first person you want to see whenever you’re feeling down.

The room is silent aside from the soft paps of cats moving around and the periodic meow. Then, he pats the spot next to him, and you make your way there. As soon as you sit down, he hands you a cat.

“Here, hold her. She’s nice,” he comments as he places the calico cat he dropped earlier in your lap, petting her as she adjusts to her new position on you.

She narrows her eyes and softly purrs in your lap as Baji pets her, and this makes you feel more in the moment than in your head like you’ve been. Your initial baffle turns into a smile as she purrs louder when you pet her, and just like that, you feel a little more found than lost.

You lean on his shoulder as you continue petting the calico cat in your lap. You keep your eyes on her as she climbs onto his lap and nuzzles him in an attempt to hide your burning cheeks and your drumming heart from your proximity.

“Thanks for giving me a home when I don’t want to be in my own,” you tell him softly, airly, almost as if you’re letting him in on a secret.

He stops playing with the cats for a moment and pauses. Feeling his intense stare, you peek through your lashes up at him. His broad grin and sharp canines are in full display, and his smile looks a little more boyish than wild. He tousles your hair as he laughs aloud boisterously before he props his head on top of yours.

“You’ll always have a home here.”

-----

It all started when a group of thugs looked at you inappropriately and made some comments that made you uncomfortable. You grip the ends of his sleeve just a little harder and press yourself behind him, trying to make yourself impossibly small. Baji, seeing your small form and downcast eyes, removes your hand from his sleeve and places it in his hand. Knowing Baji and him knowing you and your every mood, he does not stand for it. He simply flashes you a reassuring grin before he squeezes your hand and runs straight at them.

He throws the first punch, and you could just stand there in shock as he pummels through them and beats them up. He has cuts and bruises everywhere, and you’re certain he’s taken on a few nasty hits on his ribs. Though you’re equally confident that these thugs are absolutely 100% in worse shape than he is.

“Oh my god,” you sob frantically as Baji wobbles back to you, ferocious smile on his face softens as he sees you. He pats your head when he notes your teary eyes. You’re not even sure when you start crying, but the tears just don’t seem to stop. “Are you okay? Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you -”

He clutches your tear-stained face in his hands, “Look at me.”

Your eyes meet his, but you can barely see him over your tears as you continue your incoherent rambling.

“Hey,” he tries once more, voice more frantic as he struggles to find words. He finally just squishes your cheeks and yells, “Do you think I care about anything else but you right now?”

Your eyes widen, and the tears forming fall freely onto his hands. Oh, oh, oh, you think to yourself as your beating heart rapidly thumps at an exponential speed, maybe he’s also falling. When you meet his steady gray eyes, the shocking realization that maybe you’re not the only one dumb and possibly in love stops your tears.

He sighs in relief when your tears gradually stop, and as if all the tiredness accumulated in his body hit him all at once, he falls down onto the ground.

You try to catch him as best as you can, and with the combined effort of mostly himself and partially you, he breaks his fall. He lays sprawled out on the ground. After you check for wounds and find none too serious, you sit with your knees tucked under you by where he lays and moves his head onto your lap.

All around you are the battered bodies of the thugs you’ve encountered, but all you can see at the moment is him and his gray eyes that disappear into crescent moons as he flashes you a grin. He’s too tired to move, but he raises a fist up into the air in victory anyway.

“I got you.”

-----

"Wanna go on a ride?" he texts you.

It’s almost midnight when he texts you, and it’s probably way past when you should stay up. But your heart flutters at the thought of adventure, at the thought of him, so you quickly respond, “Okay, but be quiet! Don't wake my parents up again, stinky!!!”

You can already imagine his sheepish smile when he sends you a "that was once!!! my bad" back.

After sending him a quick ":p", you silently put on some clothes more fitting to go out than your pajamas. The sound of his motorcycle announces his greater-than-life presence long before his text does. Grabbing two scrunchies, you sneak out your window.

He only greets you with a goofy smile and a wave, hair free-flowing in the wind. Under the moonlight, his gray eyes twinkle with vigor and youth. It knocks the air out of your lungs as you glance at him because he's beautiful, ethereal, and alive. He smiles smugly when he catches your stare, but he holds his hand out for you to take.

"Hi," you whisper under the twinkling stars as you put your hand in his.

"Hey," he whispers back as he curls his fingers around your hand before adjusting to interlace your fingers together.

The quietness and intimacy of this moment drown out the world - the sound of cars driving by, of cicadas flying, of the world standing still. The only thing keeping you from floating is his hand and the sound of your heartbeat.

"I got you a hair tie." You offer softly with an equally soft smile, eyes pointing to the scrunchies on your wrist.

"I got you a hoodie," he responds as he nods to his motorcycle. "Because I knew your dumb ass would, once again, forget to dress for the winds."

"I'm dressed decently enough. You, though… please tie your hair… It hurts like hell when it whips in my face," you laugh lightly.

He rolls his eyes. "That's also what you said last time before you ended up stealing my hoodie, and I ended up being cold!" he complains, but there's a certain fondness in his voice.

You only stick your tongue out childishly at him. You would rather bite your tongue than admit that you are always slightly underdressed for the occasion so he would keep giving you his hoodies.

He tugs your interlaced hand and pulls you closer, and as you stand so close to him, you think close isn't quite close enough. The two of you linger in that position for longer than what should be appropriate for friends, but you think you have been tiptoeing around that line for a while now. Your heart races, and you're sure your erratic heart is beating fast enough to generate heat to keep you warm against the cold winds.

He pulls away first, moving to grab his hoodie before he roughly puts it on you. He laughs when you complain about your ruffled hair, but as his hoodie and scent engulf you, you could only shyly smile. He takes a scrunchie despite complaining about how poofy it is. As he settles in his bike and you settle in behind him, arms tight around his waist, you think this is probably what holding the universe in your arms feels like.

He rives his bike loudly despite your warning, but you find that you could care less right now as he takes off. You are young and dumb, but the wind is running through your hair as the two of you are chasing the moon, and it makes you feel so alive. Neon lights and starlit skies blur together as he speeds through familiar roads, and the brisk winds drown out your loud laughter. It feels like you're feeling everything at once, but your head is so clear.

You think you can understand why he loves riding so much because the only thing that you can hear is your loud heartbeat, and the only thing that matters is you're living.

He finally stops at a local 24-hour diner. The moonlight shines through the window by your table. You are still feeling the wild wind in your hair, cold air on your face, and the warmth of Baji’s back on your arms. It's way past midnight now, and the yellow lights of the diner feel a little more homey than dingy. He’s munching on some fries, occasionally waving one in your face whenever he’s trying to make a point about something. As you watch the various expressions on his face, a smile makes its way to your face.

“Hey Keisuke,” you grab a fry and jab it at him in the middle of his sentence. He stops his mid-word as he stares at you, head tilting slightly and mouth still gaping. There is a particular word that you keep thinking of whenever you think of Baji, a feeling that lingers and fills your heart up. You know what it is. You think you know at least, and in moments like these when you’re just watching his goofy self munching on fries while boisterously laughing at something dumb, all you can think of is those four letters.

“You’re my best friend,” you whisper before you eat your fry. Best friend, you think, encompasses a lot of things and feelings as you stare at his childlike grin, heart fluttering and mind blanking because all you see is him. You hope he knows, hope he gets that best friend is a loose term because he is so much more.

When he meets your eyes and his gray eyes crinkle in mirth and laughter rolls off his lips, you think he does.

“I know,” he smugly nods before he drops another fry into his mouth. “I guess you’re pretty cool too.”

You stick your tongue out at him and feel a warmth in your heart that matches the pinks of his cheeks. Maybe it’s adrenaline still in your blood, maybe it’s the moment, but it makes you devious, brave even, as you lean over and chomp down on the fry he's holding.

He stares at you with his mouth wide open, looking absolutely flabbergasted and offended. “Hello? That was my last fry!”

“Sorry,” you giggle, not feeling all that sorry at all. You know he’s not truly that offended because he has that stupid grin on his face, because he’s always soft with you. A part of you does feel a little sorry when you see the small pout that arises on his face. “I’ll treat you to yakisoba later?”

He turns away from you, face still slightly sulky as he huffs silently.

“No? You don’t want yakisoba?” you ask. You still find it amusing that Baji Keisuke, the first division captain of the Toman Gang who would punch someone on the streets for no reason other than just because he feels like it, is pouting because you stole his last fry. If anyone from any rival gangs sees Baji Keisuke now, they probably wouldn’t believe this is the same person.

“Fine,” he huffs softly, “But don’t think one yakisoba is enough.”

“Then,” you begin, your heart pounding loudly in your chest as you work up the courage, “What about this?”

He turns to you in confusion, and before your courage runs out on you, you crash your lips onto his before you pull away.

“Repayment,” you mutter meekly, eyes avoiding his because you’re sure he can feel the heat radiating off your cheeks from where he’s sitting.

“Hey,” he tugs on your hand under the table. When you finally look at him, he continues, “Just one isn’t enough.”

He kisses you again.

-----

Home is supposed to be the place you come from, but you think it's more like a place you find, pieced together from scattered bits of feelings, emotions, people along the way. Somewhere along the lines, home becomes less of a place and more of a person. Your home becomes the boy with the sharp canines and long hair that gets tangled by the stray cats he keeps, the "I love you" declared loudly with kisses and the longing looks in between, the comfortable warmth of his body next to yours as you chase sunsets and live in your own infinity. Your home is Baji Keisuke and the constant image of him in your mind and the infinite pieces of him in your heart.

Infinity, though, is awfully short, you think, as you see him lay surrounded by bouquets, eyes closed in eternal slumber. He's always looked good in white, but when his tan complexion is nearly as pale as the white roses surrounding him, you think white is an awful color on him. His eyes always shine with possibilities and promises, and while you've always joked that his sleeping face is cute because he always looks so innocent, adorable even, all you want now is to see him awake.

His heroism and love for his friends are always something that you love about him, but in turn, it feels so incredibly cruel to you now. For as short as he has been in your life, he becomes pieces embedded so deeply in it that it makes you whole. You cannot imagine a world where there is no Baij, where he isn’t there to punch a hooligan on the streets or feed stray cats at night or hold you when your world is crashing. You cannot imagine a life where he isn’t here to shine a bright light in your life without his laughter and goofy personality. Suddenly the world blurs around you, and you can't breathe as droplets of water hit your clenched hands on your lap.

You hold his hands. Cold, cold, cold, when they used to be warm enough to light a fire in you. There are so many things you want to tell him, say to him, but the speech you prepare in your head drowns in silence as your voice gives out on you. All the words in your head just come out as broken sobs. You feel the sympathetic and equally broken glance of his mom as she embraces you, but all you can think about is that he won’t open his eyes.

Baji Keisuke has always been bigger than life, you think, because he becomes a part of everything in your life. There are traces of him everywhere - him with his cats on your lock-screen, the random memes he sends you at night, the little notes he leaves you written in his ugly penmanship with love. When you think of these things, you feel like your heart is breaking all over again.

People tell you to be strong, and while you want to retort because how can you when he’s gone?, you find that you cannot say a word without crying. You’re tired of crying too because your eyes are already so, so raw, but it seems like all you can do is cry. When you think you've finally run out of tears and your tears finally stop, a new batch takes over even at the slightest things that remind you of him. You feel so pathetic because you can't do anything without water leaking from your eyes, and you hate yourself for being so weak.

You tune out the somber tone of his friends and the broken tone of his mom because you don't want to accept a reality where he isn't here. But luck is never on your side because he never opens his eyes again, and you never get to tell him how much you love him. All you get are flashbacks and memories of him and emptiness in your heart and soul. You tell yourself you have to be strong and smile and live for the both of you, but you can't. Not when he isn't here, not when he isn't with you anymore. Every time you think about that fact, your heart breaks again.

"Hey, stupid," your broken sobs ring loudly in the deafening silence, "I love you."

The words you’ve wanted to tell him for so long are finally in the open, but there is no answer.