#....or something. someone else come up with a funnier joke about this au

[jichanxo]

bitches will say "pride and prejudice kuwagami" half seriously and then get WAY too into drawing it

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

this is the serial killer direction i WANTED that actors au nonsense to go. all that shit is happening too, but this was the part that sparked that whole idea.

this post is loooong

warning binghe is an obsessive yandere freak 🥰 bingyuan are freak4freak tho so like…. it's fine

dead dove do not eat; he is a serial killer and he's kinda horny about it lmao

luo binghe is maybe shen yuan’s biggest fan. when he was fourteen, he saw sy as the male lead in a classical romantic opera and it inspired him to act. he’s seen all of shen yuan’s opening nights and most of his closings, and he was coached by shen yuan’s older brother (until shen jiu dropped him as a client…there was something Not Right about that boy and sj didn’t want him close). he’s got a bit of a shrine to shen yuan in his basement, filled with photos and newspaper clippings a few dried flowers—whenever he was given flowers on stage, shen yuan always tossed one back to the audience. binghe has three. he has every part of shen yuan he can get his hands on, but it's not enough.

when he and sy start working on sqh's game, it's like heaven and hell all at once. sy is even more beautiful up close, even kinder and funnier and smarter than he shows himself to be in the few interviews he's deigned to give. every moment lbh spends with him is ecstasy. every moment he spends apart from him is suffering unlike any he's ever experienced. every day he yearns to touch, to taste, to take shen yuan. to have him and keep him and treasure him the way no one else ever could. no one loves him like luo binghe loves him.

this video game they're working on—it's got a lot of endings. most of the game is the player on their own, but there's one path that gets the shitty teacher character as a companion. and further down that path…well, there are a lot of romance options in a game as big as this.

things start out fine; lbh and sy have great chemistry, it turns out. even when sy has to play the cruel teacher, it's got this undercurrent of something that could easily open the door for the romance arc later on. lbh knew they'd have great chemistry. he and sy are destined to be together; of course they'd work well on screen. they hang out between takes, eat their meals together, carpool when they can. it's amazing.

it's not enough. binghe burns with the need to possess his beloved, and every day he's denied what he rightfully deserves, that fire burns hotter. one night, he goes out to try to find a hookup, just to let off some steam. it's supposed to be a hookup, it really is. he finds someone who looks similar enough to sy from the back that he can almost pretend it's him. but his voice is all wrong, and his attitude is too brazen, and it pisses binghe off so bad that he chokes the guy just so he'll shut up.

it's just—he doesn't stop choking him until he finishes a few minutes later, and by that point, the guy is…well. mbj helps lbh scrub the body and cover his tracks, and the corpse is found a few days later with no real leads.

it happens again a few weeks later. lbh can't have shen yuan, but so many pale imitations throw themselves at him. and every time, he takes them to bed and he swears he won't get angry this time. it's not sy; he knows it isn't sy. there's no need to be angry with them for pretending to be sy when they're not.

he gets angry anyway. he can't help it. he accepts these men's advances, he takes him to bed, he kills them and kills them and kills them. eventually, news comes to light. the date-night killer, a deeply uninspired name born only from the fact that their last known locations were all night clubs. they're all around the same height, all have short brown hair and glasses, all similar builds.

one night binghe asks shen yuan if he wants to go get drinks. he knows a nice quiet lounge, not too crowded since it's so exclusive. shen yuan declines. jokes that he'd better not—the date night killer likes guys with short brown hair; maybe they'd go after him next.

the next body that turns up is…different. still strangled to death, but it seems like the killer (a copycat most likely, the cops say) felt regret afterward. on the victim's back, over and over again, is carved "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry…"

his a-yuan is afraid of him. luo binghe hates himself, and he hates all these people who put themselves in his path, who get themselves killed by daring to try to replace a-yuan in his heart. it's their fault a-yuan is afraid. binghe is the only one who can keep him safe. he knows he is.

binghe keeps it together until they're approaching the end of shen yuan's time in the studio. the arc is almost finished, and shen yuan mentions that in a month he'll be leaving for his next show's rehearsals. some opera, binghe's pretty sure; his hearing sort of cut out when his beloved said he was leaving. the news is a knife to the heart. his a-yuan can't leave. a-yuan belongs with him, no one can take him away. binghe needs a-yuan, and a-yuan needs binghe.

that night, luo binghe and shen yuan vanish without a trace. binghe has a house. it's under a false identity, and it's way out in the mountains. there, he can keep his a-yuan safe and comfortable. there, he can work to earn his a-yuan's affection. there, no one can take his a-yuan away.

he explains to a-yuan that they're home now, that they are together as they belong, that luo binghe will be the best husband to his precious a-yuan. and sy is so beautiful, so clever, of course he figures out that luo binghe is the date night killer. it's alright though, binghe promises, because he only killed those people for daring to imitate his beloved. now that he and his husband are finally together, binghe's got no reason to kill anyone else. they'll be happy together now that there's no one else in the way.

when shen yuan smiles, it's like the sun breaking through the clouds. he shifts, asks binghe to untie his arms. of course, binghe obeys. anything for his husband. he's not a fool; he knows shen yuan might try to fight and escape as a test of binghe's ability to protect him, and binghe's ready. but instead, shen yuan reaches out and stokes binghe's hair, his cheek. 'binghe went so far for me,' he murmurs, a hypnotic gleam in his eye that luo binghe has never seen. 'i hoped that night… i thought for sure you'd take me when i turned you down for drinks, but you tried so hard to be respectful, didn't you? well. maybe someday binghe will let me see him work? i quite liked the one you carved for me, but i really didn't need an apology. you can try again, can't you? will you make something pretty for me?'

the next corpse is rather beautifully arranged. the wounds carved into the body are artistic, elegant flowing lines and flowers carved into the skin. in the middle of its back, the double happiness character is drawn. shen yuan thinks it’s a lovely wedding present.

[nostalgicish]

thinking abt fic ideas as someone who can’t write is painful…. like. i’m obsessed w modern aus rn

(i have a few mutuals that write so if you guys wanna……….. 👀 take inspiration from this…… 👀 tag me so i can read it !!)

Lance and Hunk work at a library and like to people watch, guessing what genres they like to read. a grunge/punk guy with the worst RBF walks in and they’re really surprised to see he’s checking out classic romance literature.

idk something with public transportation? like they take the same train/bus/subway every day but they never actually talk— just eyes that meet occasionally and a polite smile but nothing more. until one day, the other guy just.. stops showing up? and Lance is pretty bummed but what can he do? (and then he sees a familiar mop of black hair at the grocery store or a café or something and is like “!! it’s you!!”)

The trio go out to see the next installment of their favorite movie series, but Lance keeps sneaking out of the theater to buy more snacks (and definitely not to talk to the hot guy running the concession stand)

Keith works at a convenience store/gas station and this tall, beautiful man comes in occasionally, but no matter what he buys, he always always always gets a bag of candy that just so happens to be Keith’s favorite too— he always has a bag at his station so he can snack on it throughout his shift. One day, the man is in line without the candy and he honestly looks like shit— he’s definitely not his usual, happy self. Keith asks about the candy. The man replies, “Oh, i couldn’t find any today... You guys must be out.” So Keith gives him a bag from his stash. “You look like you need it more than me.”

Lance goes to the campus library to check out books for his literature class, but every single time, without fail, someone else has taken the last copy. “What do you mean someone else checked out the last copy?? Who??” “That guy.” *insert Keith* (it would be funnier if Keith isn’t even reading them for class, he’s just reading classic literature for funsies)

Lance checks out a novel from the library and there’s an envelope inside with a name written neatly on the front of it. it looks like it’s important so he resolves to find and return the envelope to K. Kogane, whoever that is (another library one?? yeah sorry idc i love public libraries and books and love stories . sue me.)

Keith is a barber/hairdresser and Lance’s regular stylist isn’t available so he’s stuck with Keith -OR- Lance takes his nephew to get his hair cut and Keith looks kinda scary but he’s actually?? really good with kids?? (insert mullet joke here)

Keith meets Pidge’s friends from a different class. Keith is super into Pidge’s hot, tall friend but is discouraged from acting on it because he’s constantly glued to Hunk’s side and making comments like “this is why I love you, Hunky” and (wrongfully) assumes they’re dating (but Lance is just that kind of guy! yk! he says “ily” to his friends all the time!)

bartender Keith is so good but think abt bartender Lance……… yeah….. need i say more??

[aethercurrent]

If you've been around, I just finished Time Travel AU. If you're from AO3, you know what this post is and you can skip further down to read more. If you don't know what Time Travel AU is, it's a long FFXIV fanfic I've been working on for the better part of six years. Five and a half of which it's been online to read.

This post is to document some of the early plotting that I never talked about written down into a coherent-ish(?) post. Mostly to get it out of my system and to hopefully stave off the absolute breakdown I'll have once that "it's finished after six years" thing settles in.

Let's start this off with something funnier, because this a looooooooong post: the name.

(That isn't a word, for the record. I just mashed two nouns together to be funny.)

And then, finally, being a class clown at heart, I follow that up with:

It wasn't too long, and that joke that took me half a minute to come up with stuck around. It still makes me chuckle.

But, I suppose now we go back to a couple months before that conversation took place.

~

The first idea for the AU started rotating in my head a few days after finishing Shadowbringers. I’m kind of a sucker for time travel of any sort (a good chunk of my favourite media of all time includes it somehow!), and another thing I enjoy is enemies to “unfortunately, we’re on the same side for a while”.

So, as one does after a game thoroughly rearranges their brain, I started throwing darts at random points and saw what started sticking.

The first major things decided for the fic at that early conception stage were the following points:

the time travellers are WOL, Exarch, Ryne, Elidibus

the Final Days were caused by the star itself

Hythlodaeus (shade or real deal) is involved (maybe as 14th?)

Hydaelyn and Zodiark are non-violently undone by the end

it ends with a city by the Crystal Tower on the Source

I started drafting a few ideas for it over a couple weeks while waiting for 5.1.

Initially I genuinely wasn’t sure if the WOL in the story was going to be Meteor or my own WOL (every iteration of her has been in this fic, but when it started she was actually still a male Seeker… he’s the jumpy conjurer tagging along in the Praetorium; and the Dunesfolk, Highlander, and the Hrothgar are all obvious or hidden in the background, too). It took me a while before I settled on Meteor, mostly because I don’t want to ship her with NPCs, really. Also, Catboy Lahen was extremely jumpy and wouldn’t have been able to keep him being a time traveller and an Ascian secret for long. I needed someone made of sterner stuff, sorry Catboy Lahen.

The party was a proper light party at that stage, too, even before I settled on Meteor (Meteor / Ryne as tank, Exarch as healer, Ryne / Lahen and Elidibus as DPS)… and then dropped that once I started getting into the more detailed part of plotting.

By the time 5.1 rolled around I begrudgingly accepted that the WOL was going to be the 14th member of the Convocation, but I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t like that. I still don’t like it, actually. I would’ve liked the WOL being a genuine random soul choosing the road and becoming modern day Azem just as Venat and her successor were before them, instead of having it just be Venat’s successor 2 electric boogaloo.

I also finally accepted the clown’s nose and admitted that my favourite Ascian was Lahabrea because he was a good villain back when I started in the last couple days of 2014. I was disappointed that after how much Emet-Selch and Elidibus got and were getting throughout the end of Stormblood and Shadowbringers, Lahabrea still hadn’t gotten much of anything else. Yes. The first time I met one of my now better friends, she joined call for Endwalker fanfest and the first thing she ever heard from me was me straight up bursting into tears over FFIV references and Pandaemonium.

A few more plot points were also starting to come together:

I wanted Emet-Selch and Lahabrea as POV characters

Hythlodaeus definitely was going to be one as well

he was going to have sat by and watched all of history

he was going to be tempered by Hydaelyn and Zodiark

Unukalhai, if not a POV character, was going to be somewhat important

the party was going to try saving some NPCs who died (success rate varying)

Meteor’s characterisation started to crystallise a bit more

because of that, they were going to try and substantially alter the Steppe section

Lahabrea would be explosive early on, leading to him being taken out of 2.55

Minfilia vanished before she could catch on to Ascian shenanigans

Ysayle would catch on to that, though

It’s glossed over in the finished fic because it’s mostly irrelevant, but as I worked on on the plot draft more and more, I noticed that the party accidentally fit into the elemental chart rather neatly:

Lahabrea as lightning; most volatile and destructive party member

Emet-Selch as fire; also fairly temperamental and not easy to work with

Elidibus as wind; easier to handle but still fairly dangerous

Meteor as earth; unmoving object that can bury a lot of things if they want to

Exarch as water; that one was mostly a “river of time” joke, I won’t lie

Ryne as ice; it’s the closest to light and once she’s determined she’s unyielding

Hythlodaeus as light; absolute stasis due to his circumstances

Unukalhai as darkness; always on the move and always thinking

A lot of the character dynamic comes from that! Emet-Selch and Lahabrea don’t get along, Elidibus manages to get along with both of them. Ryne as the most interesting mortal out of the bunch as far as Emet-Selch is concerned stems from a fire and ice joke that ran away with me; him and the Exarch butting heads is a water and fire joke. The reason why Ryne was the one to surprise Elidibus comes from the fact that she’s a solid ice wall to his wind, and so on and so forth.

That’s also why Unukalhai remains closer to the Ascians to some degree, while Hythlodaeus has absolutely no qualms whatsoever interacting with mortals as long as his restrictions are adhered to even if he doesn’t like them in the end.

It became extremely less relevant as time went on, but a lot of the early fic can be traced to that elemental balance.

Along with the elemental balance of the team, I started working on the magic system for the Ancients. I was extremely stuck on the sidequests in Amaurot and how two of them dealt with the WOL not being able to use creation magicks. I thought it was interesting that it seemed as if the one making clothes didn’t use a concept crystal, while in one you were handed one to summon those funny slimes.

The final point was that you had to catch a cubus for one while you didn’t for the other.

So, eventually I came to the magic system in the fic. Three classes of magicks (body, soul, environment), and differing levels of innate ability and trained skill. Ironically, the three antagonist Unsundered all fit into three out of four extremes of that latter scale…

Then there was the question of what was considered “dark arts” before the Sundering. It wasn’t necessary, none of the main characters would be students of the dark arts, but it was a fun thought experiment. Eventually I came up with the idea to animate something inanimate with malicious intent. Living weapons, defensive automatons, sentient traps, and so on and so forth.

I started applying that to all of the relevant Ancients, and it was a lot more fun than I want to admit here.

Essentially what the concept crystals thing came down to in the end was a certain level of intricate casting and preservation. Lahabrea can create a flock of his birds effortlessly because he knows the concept inside out with all its details and intricacies, while someone trying to summon it themselves would have to use a crystal to get the details right. That’s also why most of the time the Ascians don’t seem to be using concept crystals—they aren’t creating much, and when they are it’s things they already know how to make.

Actually, I dug out the notes on the innate/trained scale. There’s a lot of things that are irrelevant for the fic on that, but let me write down the most relevant ones:

Emet-Selch: soul; high innate/low trained

Lahabrea: body; high innate/high trained

Elidibus: environment; low innate/high trained

Hythlodaeus: soul; high innate/not trained

Alexis (Meteor’s ancient): environment/dark arts; low innate/medium trained

Igeyorhm: body; medium innate/high trained

Minfilia: body; low innate/low trained

Venat: environment; medium innate/high trained

Rafael (previous Elidibus): soul; low innate/high trained

There was also the question of what to do with Ancients in general. True, we had the shades in Amaurot as a general idea, but just like with Azem above, I wasn’t a fan of the featureless or just “human” thing. I still am not, for the record. I think it’s goofy to have everyone be proto-Hyurs and then post-Sundering we suddenly have Hydaelyn give some people a goddess-assigned fursona. And that’s coming from someone who previously played a Hyur, for the record!

But just like how magic focused on the elements specifically instead of the broader strokes, I decided that in ancient times there would be one term for the different tribes. I tried to handwave the shades away with making the region around Amaurot the ancestral home of proto-Hyurs… and then only had one of them in the party. Oops!

Overall, my thought process was to address the weird lore bit that apparently interracial relationships are frowned upon in Eorzea. I mostly wanted to… not… have that apply for ancient times because it’s fucking weird. Not gonna call it anything other than that.

From there, it was as simple as… naming everything and everyone, giving them a place they come from, and… oh god I wrote so much stuff that never came up just so it stayed internally consistent y’all, I almost don’t want to talk about it.

The main notes on that are in Astral Scions, Umbral Sinners I, but to recap:

Hyurs were Amaurotines

Elezen were Atlanteans

Miqo’te were Children of Sirius

Lalafell were Saronian Marchers (Saro)

Roegadyn were the Galg

Viera were Lunarians

Hrothgar were the Watchers

Au Ra were white-scaled Steelhearts and black-scaled Flareseekers; formerly the Volcana

Specifically the Au Ra have a lot of background history that gets mentioned due to Lahabrea being a Flareseeker. Long story. Too long for this already long post.

Speaking of Lahabrea, though; there was rhyme and reason behind why the Ascians were what they were.

Lahabrea (Flareseeker+Amaurotine) is a renowned scholar who also is something of a social outcast both in Amaurot due to his Flareseeker heritage and in Bodhum due to his Amaurotine heritage, which leads to him being quite hard to deal with thanks to bad experiences way in the past

Elidibus (Child of Sirius+Saronian Marcher) is both very quiet and observant and still relies on company if not community and is rather lost without the support of those he deems his family

Emet-Selch (Amaurotine) is the one who misses home the fiercest out of all of them because that’s where his family and he always belonged, that’s where everyone he ever loved was

Hythlodaeus (Atlantean+Amaurotine-Lunarian) feels all over the place and cuts out his paternal home under the waves and his maternal home high above ground to find his own home

Venat (Amaurotine+Lunarian) grew up on her father’s stories about how the star looks from the Floating City of Babil and wanted the more grounded people of her home to see that as well

Another fun thing about ancient times was the fact that I could do whatever I want. It’s not that glaringly obvious with their names, but when it comes to their cities and settlements in general, I got to go a bit wild with it.

And with “wild” I mean I had some fun picking settlement names across the Final Fantasy series. I hope people who know the series a bit outside of XIV itself had some fun with the interludes; I know I had a lot of fun with it. I think if I had to pick a favourite it’d be the Floating City of Babil, the underground city Insomnia, and Archades on the mountains by the sea.

Again, I think having everything, apparently, be Ancient Greek Mythology is… stifling. I admit that even in my more canon-compliant other works I struggle with it. There’s a lot of myths to draw inspiration from; I for one would’ve loved Hermes to deal with a mfing Wolpertinger. Creature of all time.

But… at that point I was writing two different drafts. One where Unukalhai joined shortly before Hythlodaeus as POV character (which also was a joke about the darkness-aligned character joining before the light-aligned one because darkness is active), and one where he remained a non-POV but important character. Kind of similar to what Minfilia became after she was saved! It was the same for both of them up until he joined the party for good.

If I had gone with 7 POV characters instead of my full party set-up, there was a bit of an act dedicated to unravelling his feelings on this nonsense. Specifically a non-POV Unukalhai wouldn’t have spent as much time with everyone else and would have gone down a different mental rabbit hole of eventually struggling with not being able to get his revenge on Igeyorhm while also starting to feel like a replacement heist from an alternate timeline self is extremely creepy considering how the “heroes” of the Void all changed until they were effectively replaced by alternate versions of themselves. He’d have tagged along for Meteor’s Regula mission and would have gotten to hear their version of the replacement heist after they escape from Garlemald together. (Meteor taking over this timeline’s version of themself grew much less important overall as the drafting continued, so it never really came up again beyond Titan where the alternate self died during Living Dead).

After that Unukalhai would have mellowed out a bit until he would join the Ascians and Cylva on the First to deal with the Flood of Light. That would’ve been the last of him until the part where Meteor and G’raha come to the Empty.

Overall, a non-POV Unukalhai would have been less gloomy but also would have been a completely different beast. He remains fairly introspective and reclusive across both drafts, but the reclusion gets the better of him as non-POV character.

The setting itself was also becoming rather rigid—part of having so many things set in stone while adding more and more. It would be extraordinarily hard to integrate whatever canon proceeded with. I couldn’t add or remove characters because that led to a ripple effect throughout the whole plot, and the ending was admittedly the first thing I decided on after I got the idea for the premise. It was the only thing I couldn’t negotiate myself out of.

I can work with that! I’ve worked with that before!

But unlike previous longfics, something about TTAU felt daunting in ways I couldn’t articulate at any point. Still can’t. I guess I just really wanted it to be everything I’d want to read at any given time, and I really am my own harshest critic. Great going, Ms aethercurrent née vanitaslaughing, now you’ve made yourself anxious about disappointing the target audience (yourself).

I also struggled with not only making it fun for me but also for readers; I wouldn’t have posted it if I didn’t want to share it with people. I hope I did a good job in the end, but really I can only speak for myself here. If you read it, even partially, I hope you at least had some measure of fun before you dropped that absolute behemoth of a fic, and if you finished it entirely there are no words in either language I speak to convey how happy I am that my silly big baby entertained you to stick through with it until the end.

I eventually reached a point where more and more details were starting to form that were needed to keep things straight while probably never coming up.

Every member of the Convocation before the Sundering has a name and was assigned a race. Most of them are mentioned in an Interlude, but in most cases there’s some sort of underlying joke to them. Similarly all of them received titles similar to Speaker, Emissary, Architect, Seer; I attempted to keep it somewhat balanced and/or in line with a fantasy government. Messenger Mitron and Listener Loghrif sound a bit redundant with the Emissary Elidibus around, but those two specifically mostly stick to Amaurot and the more immediate surrounding settlements—specifically calling back to that one city mentioned in the sidequests in Amaurot where you deal with the debating shades. Something akin to a national relations minister, an international relations minister, and one specifically for the neighbouring countries.

At around that time the Twelve were also decided to be actual genuine deities of the star. A bit of inspiration comes from Sailor Moon (nothing concretely 100% similar, but the Twelve are effectively the star’s Sailor Scouts who also have the ability to become a new small system if they decide to leave), but I mostly just wanted them to be, y’know. Gods. Coming back to the issue I have with canon going “everything’s Amaurot”, I can’t say I love how the Twelve are in canon but I do adore them as characters. It made me choosing Menphina as the one to speak with the group all the more sweeter since I think out of all of them she’s my favourite design-wise.

There was also the thing with the Seer position that needed to be tackled at this point. I’m morbidly fascinated by characters who know the story they’re in but can’t do much to influence it because they can only tell what path they’re on depending on the ending.

I think the biggest struggle especially towards the end was the fact that I often drafted at least two possible POVs for a chapter. I often went in expecting to write one POV, got stuck irreversibly on it somehow, steamrolled the whole thing, and wrote out the other draft. I’ve cannibalised previous drafts into complete rewrites of the same POV a lot more than you’d think I have. And I only save a copy of a chapter that reached a certain word threshold or if there’s something integral written to a degree I like.

One of the worst offenders of the bunch was Chapter 78… which became Chapter 79 when I posted it. Yeah. It got so bad and frustrating that I had to make dealing with Hythlodaeus future me’s problem. Thankfully it didn’t cut too much into the pacing thanks to Act XI being extremely slow due to how introspective it was.

In the earlier days one of the other struggles was formatting. Something about my documents went haywire when pasted, leading to endless strings of completely superfluous <spans> that added strange spacing issues between all that mess. It was something that my older works struggled with too, which became a non-issue over the years (thankfully. I shudder thinking about possibly having to deal with that issue while already spending 48 hours formatting Eden Rewrite correctly).

The documents just eventually started to bug out because they were so damned long. I never expected them to be in one, but I have five documents holding all of this fic. It’s rather funny to see four chilling and the fifth on top with a 00 as its first characters in the document title so I see it first.

It's... really bittersweet to remove that 00 and seeing them all together now.

That's... about it for the fic as it was posted there. Whether you read the fic or just read this post, once again: thank you.

Thank you for sticking with me for six years, or for reading about the earliest of these six years!

~

For those who remember at a certain point I was considering overhauling the fic and implementing canon from Endwalker at that time, there's a bit more post to go specifically relating to that idea!

You’d think I’d struggle with keeping the canon characters and the fanfiction versions apart as someone who prefers staying canon compliant, but over the years those guys became their own beasts. Ophion could never have been Themis, but why would I want them to be the same? I needed Ophion for this fic to work, after all.

A lot, and I mean a metric shitton of stuff, breaks and changes there. It’s been a fun thought experiment at the very least. I’ll be the first one to admit that I don’t like the Warrior of Light being a reincarnation of Azem’s sundered soul; I just like them being a nobody with no preconceived notion that they’re bound to adventure no matter what because that’s what their soul always did… but Hythlodaeus likewise can’t replace them in that case.

The solution to that first massive hurdle? I suck up the Azem thing, and instead of an Unsundered Hythlodaeus, the one that joins the party is the Shade. His plot stays surprisingly intact through all of that, but instead of dealing with forced indecisiveness it becomes more of a plot about identity and what to do when you’re a creation on the path to freeing the real deal you were based on.

Out of all of them, Lahabrea changes surprisingly little—I wrote him like a stern father to Igeyorhm in this, and you can mostly mix and match a lot of that onto Erichthonios. Instead of dealing with her ascensions and the fact that she needed to be taken out, Lahabrea gets to see his son reincarnate and die over and over again.

Honestly? I could even keep the dual Elidibus approach. Instead of Ophion (the previous one’s student) and Rafael (the Zodiark sacrifice), it would be Elidibus (the Heart of Zodiark) and Themis (the rest of the Heart still remaining with Zodiark). There would be a lot of overlap with the Shade here but in the end the Shade and Hythlodaeus would exist independently from one another while the Heart of Zodiark reunites and becomes Themis again.

I think the parts where I would have to genuinely start rewriting it entirely is where to integrate canon Venat over TTAU Venat and the Endsinger. TTAU Venat is a lot more mellow than canon Venat—a shitty mother but an excellent politician versus canon’s all-loving hero with an understanding of but no love lost for politics. The Meteia as a villain are a lot less vague and distant than the Star Itself. Instead of a journey to the innermost reaches it’s to the edge of the universe. Doable, yes, but marginally harder to do. Honestly, thinking about it as I’m writing this, I think I would have to do an arc where at least Meteor if not all Sundered go to Elpis in the past to learn something while the Unsundered+Shade remain in the present to deal with the Final Days…?

Actually, let’s tackle the characters one by one in a canon-adjusted remake.

This would be assuming that there is inter-shard travel so the starting group would still be Meteor, Ryne, and G’raha. The one major major change would be that instead of Elidibus the “Ancient” to go with them would be the Shade.

Meteor would change the least. They don’t care about being Alexis, they don’t care about being Azem either. They’re one of a handful children of a farmer family in La Noscea, not some sort of government freak from ancient times long before they were ever born. They didn’t start travelling because their soul told them to after they got the Echo, they started travelling because they damn well wanted to after seeing the Calamity, get outta here with that “Azem” nonsense.

In an Elpis episode they would do the opening section for the most part. Not much else to say here.

G’raha would be a lot more cheerful once the initial horror stage of travelling through time to prevent the end of the world again faded. He’d still have his struggles with the idea of possibly letting down the future Ironworks and being arguably the least experienced in the adventuring department.

In an Elpis episode, G’raha would likely be the one to deal with Venat overall. She’d be the perfect foil to him; an experienced traveller to his inexperienced adventurer. They’re both old but he’s barely a blip on her lifespan. They’re both incredibly determined to find the reason for why this is happening.

Ryne would feel a bit more resentment towards Ascians in general at that point. Other than that, her struggle was always being the odd one out amongst the Sundered, about being face to face with the woman she was named after and seeing why that woman was so beloved. About finding her own niche and staying there, no matter the people she loses.

I think out of all of the Sundered in a possible back-in-time-again Elpis episode, she would be the one to sympathise the most with Hermes despite also possibly interacting with him the least; she would likely lead the charge right before Ktisis Hyperboreia and her plot in Elpis would mostly be about travelling treacherous foreign terrain just the way Thancred taught her.

Unukalhai’s a bit of an odd case. After all there’s still two drafts, one where he joins the party as main POV character, and one where he becomes something along the lines of TTAU Minfilia. In a rework of that, I’d have to apply a lot of the Void lore since revealed to him, which makes him go from an odd case to an even odder case. He’d… either possibly involuntarily make Azdaja’s predicament worse, or free her before Endwalker happens but she loses her memories and becomes his cool new partner in crime until a completely flabbergasted Vrtra has to drop the facade immediately because no one told him a thrice-damned Warrior of Light had his sister tagging along what the fuck.

The hypothetical Elpis Episode would have a POV Unukalhai likely be the one to help Meteion get a gift for Hermes. His already intense internal hatred coming to the surface to turn a flower from bright white to darkest shadow, mirroring what happened with Hermes and the flowers in the past? Yeah. That’s the good shit.

In a non-POV case he’d stick with the Scions to help deal with the Final Days and his section of the story most likely would have gone to Ryne.

Ophion would likely still be a soul in Zodiark. Other than that, he’s not relevant.

Themis or the Heart of Zodiark… wouldn’t necessarily be the first one to join them. Actually, I think he’d be the last one. Immovable object without memories meets unstoppable force that draws in his allies. Overall he would be a lot colder on account of having no memories, and be rather fiercely protective of the other Unsundered for reasons he cannot recall. He’d make for an excellent diplomat, but it would likewise lead straight into his greatest vice: vague, foggy memories of something other other that might float up to the surface on occasion. Claudien would be an extremely weak spot for him, except unlike Lahabrea in the same position, Themis cannot tell how or why he’s reacting like that.

While the Sundered are off for their Episode Elpis, Themis would likely scour through the Crystal Tower to find a way to interact with the him from the timeline the others came from.

Emet-Selch would be the first legitimate Ascian to “join” their cause.

Mostly out of morbid curiosity, partially because he wants to figure out how in the name of all good graces a recreation of Hythlodaeus with sentience so advanced it can be deadpan sarcastic and have an identity crisis is with there, and it’s driving him just a bit insane. He’d actually be a lot more antagonistic as a result, and he’d be the one mostly bemoaning the Sundered and how Meteor is a disgrace to Azem early on until they have enough of his nonsense and beat him up. That would serve the purpose of actually confirming that they have the strength to kill an alternate timeline version of Emet-Selch and he mellows out a bit. Not much. Just a bit.

Overall he’d be a lot more prickly—which makes for an interesting switch when during the Final Days on the Source he very swiftly drops the antagonism. It’s a bit of a “been there, done that” attitude but since the star itself is in danger he has surprisingly few qualms about saving a few Sundered while he’s at it.

Lahabrea wouldn’t change much like I said, though there would be a lot more ruthlessness behind anything and everything he does. He’s willing to walk over corpses no matter what instead of calming down a little on that once he’s been thoroughly humbled (and untempered).

He’d also be a bit more strangely sentimental internally around Minfilia specifically; he already compares her to Igeyorhm a few times in TTAU proper but in a canon-compliant rewrite the comparison point would be Erichthonios. No matter how ruthless he is, at the end of Pandæmonium he and Erichthonios started the long journey of making up, and Minfilia reminds him of Erichthonios’s best qualities in a quite haunting way. They’re both tenacious and care about everything and everyone from the bystander to the one causing the mess… except Minfilia is a bit more spicy and willing to speak her mind. He wouldn’t be as fond of her by the end, but he’d still accept her terms and teach her.

Lahabrea during the Final Days would likely be recruited by Urianger and the Loporrits as additional quality control.

I’ve gone over the Hyth Shade, but the endgame there would be essentially affirming that he is as much a person as the Sundered are. Sure, he may have been someone else’s creation but that doesn’t make him any less a person on this star, not to mention he was one of the time travellers.

The real Hythlodaeus also would’ve been rather delighted to have an identical twin, and one who’s fighting against the Final Days no less.

Can’t go into too much detail otherwise, since this canon compliant version never quite left the drafting phases for obvious reasons. He’s the one character who more reacted to the plot than being the one to move it along, and without the plot there isn’t much to say.

He’d have stayed behind to deal with the Final Days, and he’d likely have been one of the first to go to Garlemald when news of the skies changing there broke.

The one major departure from canon would be that Zodiark and Hydaelyn aren’t fully slain—Zodiark specifically it put under a complete stasis spell in the middle of unravelling, but that breaks the protective shroud He has over Etheirys and the Final Days start happening again. Hydaelyn created meticulous seals and mechanisms to ensure that despite being bound the protective shroud remains, but under full stasis and while the whole thing is falling apart…

(Hyth Shade was the one to suggest it to the Watcher, Elidibus, and Emet-Selch as an absolute last resort. None of them really wanted Zodiark to suffer; the main goal still remains to bring back those Ancients should it prove possible).

All issues with how wonky and not finished that is aside, I’d also get a lot of extremely fun things to explore. Jullus already is one of my favourite characters introduced in Endwalker, but having him tell his story to Emet-Selch would be super interesting. There’s knowing what you’re doing, and there’s coming face to face with it, and that would genuinely be super cool to do.

Then there’d be the whole Heart of Sabik business—I’d unironically love for that whole mess to unfold with the real Lahabrea and Elidibus there while there’s memory-creations Erichthonios and Themis there as well. That would be absolutely chaotic on top of Athena also being there. Atrocious vibes, ten out of ten.

Likewise, Ryne and Vrtra would also be an interesting pair of characters to interact; they’re both the youngest siblings (of a sort in Ryne’s case), they’re both intensely protective of the people they care about, and they couldn’t bring themselves to hurt those they love even if it were absolutely necessary until someone else confirmed that this was the only way. There’s also that loss of family (Azdaja missing, Ratatoskr/Bahamut/Nidhogg dead; the whole abandoned timeline) that would have them interact in a neat way too, they’re quite similar to each other.

Unukalhai and Zero. She’s effectively everything he was said to be and they both failed. There’d be an interesting dynamic between them because of that—even if getting Zero in on the plot would be rather hard. Unukalhai would definitely try and sympathise with Zenos’s voidsent and maybe try to get them to abandon their master, and through that realise that she might not be there entirely willingly.

But overall, the hardest character to implement would be the Meteia. There’s eight main characters and there’s eight different opinions on this mess, ranging from intensely sympathetic and willing to rebuild burnt bridges (Ryne, Meteor, Hyth Shade, Elidibus if he regains his memories before Ultima Thule), apathetic despite how high the stakes are (Unukalhai, Elidibus if he doesn’t regain his memories), different levels of less sympathetic (Lahabrea, Emet-Selch), and the option where G’raha has such intense issues with being not overly sympathetic and having no sympathy at all that his understanding of the situation is wildly out of control until the very end.

Having worked with them as both individuals and as a hivemind in a couple writing exercises, I honestly would have had a Meteion for every main character, and give all eight of them a proper story on top of what’s already going on there. Narrative foils that lead both parties to Ultima Thule.

Putting that one lightly: that would’ve been a goddamn motherfucking nightmare to write. Fun, but a nightmare.

And that's a lot coming out of Ms Almost Half a Million Words Across Six Years.

[floralseokjin]

⤑ 9 months to fall in love 22.

It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.

Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.

Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…

pairing; kim seokjin x f reader au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov words; 5,057

warnings/includes (!) IT’S TIME! GLOB IS COMING!!!! 

⟶ ao3 link

*inspired by the manhwa ‘Positively Yours.’

note; The Astronaut is 1000% playing while they have their little slow dance during the party 🤧 Also, for visuals: here is the inspo for the photoshoot outfit and here’s inspo for the tux! 

↪︎ series index

SEASON THREE ⇤ previous | next ⇥

The next few weeks flew by. 

It took a while for you to stop feeling so shaken up by the accident, and even now, you still felt slightly nervous being inside a car. You knew you couldn’t let the irrational fear consume you, especially with your life soon to take on a new importance, so you tried hard to work past it, talking it through with your therapist during the online sessions you were still having. The collision had purely been an accident, a split-second mistake made by the other driver, a lapse in his judgment. You couldn’t give it the chance to control you. You were stronger than that. Plus, you had so many better things to concentrate on. Seokjin, your friends, your bettering relationship with your family. Your daughter. 

At first, being on maternity leave was jarring. You’d worked fulltime ever since you’d graduated university, so having countless days and days to yourself took some getting used to. Seokjin joked that you needed to make the most of it, because once Sarang got here you both wouldn’t know peace again. It was a strange thought, but not disagreeable. She might have been the surprise you’d never known you wanted, but you’d been practically ready and eager from the start. Seokjin, too. 

You busied yourself with some more decorating of the house at first. Minor decorating. You couldn’t do much, but dotting a few art pieces or photos around, placing a vase on an end table, and laying out a few rugs here and there didn’t use much energy. Until it did. It felt like you were getting heavier and heavier by the day, the weight of Glob weighing you down and warping your axis of balance. You tried your best to keep active, going into the centre of the city a couple of times, and when you couldn’t manage that – not that you managed it well pre-pregnancy – you settled on small walks around your new neighbourhood. Seokjin joined you in the evenings sometimes, but mostly on the weekend. He was still working himself silly ready for his paternity leave, which meant that you were both in bed by 9pm most nights. 

In fact, as well as going to bed early, you liked a nap in the middle of the day too, falling asleep on the couch, where you spent most of the day watching boxset upon boxset. You’d already completed a rewatch of one of your favourite shows, finding it even funnier than the first time a couple of years ago. Now, you were starting something new. A sitcom. You found laughing was the way to go in these trying times, but it also weakened your bladder even more. You’d also started playing BT21 – your bump was a great rest for the handheld console. You’d never been into gaming, but you were becoming mildly addicted slash emotionally unstable, crying at how cute all the animal characters were. 

On the weekends, you and Seokjin bulk cooked meals to freeze. What started off as a fun domesticated activity soon turned into a bind. The good news was that you now had enough food to last at least three months and had stocked up on enough dried goods to avoid starving during a zombie apocalypse. But hopefully that didn’t happen now that you were so close to giving birth. 

The nursery was complete, the beautiful crib the main feature. You kept finding any old excuse to step inside and gaze around – not that you needed an excuse. You spent quite a few hours organising and reorganising Sarang’s chest of drawers, folding and refolding all her little onesies and cute outfits. You made sure to dust and wipe down surfaces often, wanting everything to be squeaky clean for her arrival. Your hospital bag had long been packed, on countdown inside your bedroom. Before long, there wasn’t very long to wait at all! 

One of the worst things to deal with, now that you were in such a late stage of pregnancy, were the nights. Maybe that’s why you were napping so much in the day. No position was comfortable – and positions were limited in the first place. Your bump had reached its limits, you couldn’t go any bigger you were certain. You tried to help yourself by wedging pillows under your bump and between your legs to ease the pressure. It worked to a certain extent, but then leg cramps would set in and you had to move around, trying to get comfy all over again. Then you needed to pee, so it was back and forth to the bathroom. Then Sarang decided she wanted to wiggle. 

It was no wonder you were a little irritable these days, all things considered. Tonight, you and Seokjin had gone to bed not talking to one another after you’d snapped at him over making dinner. He’d come home later than usual to find you in the kitchen, instantly ordering you out. When you’d refused, the exasperated look on his face made you see red. You didn’t expect him to come home after a long day of work and start dinner immediately. You were pregnant, not decrepit, and making a simple stir fry wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility. 

You’d made the stupid stir fry in the end, and then the both of you had eaten in stony silence across from one another. You rarely argued, but you were both fans of the silent treatment when you did. Both stubborn too, it was impossible to know who would break first. As it were, Seokjin was the one to fold tonight. 

“____, what’s wrong?” he asked into the darkness, voice thick with sleep but prickled with concern. 

It wasn’t a surprise that you’d managed to wake him up. You’d already been to the bathroom twice, readjusted your pillows five times, and thrown your head back in frustration maybe ten. 

“Nothing,” you mumbled. Which was a lie. As well as being horrifically uncomfortable, you felt guilty for earlier, which was only marginally overshadowing your annoyance over Seokjin being able to sleep soundly while you tossed and turned. 

Seokjin shifted onto his side, one hand reaching for you and grazing your hip. “Can’t get to sleep?” 

“No.” Mortified, the word sobbed from you, and just like that you were crying. 

“Hey,” he said softly, gathering you in his arms as best he could. You were still uncomfortable but feeling him hold you made it better. “You’re okay.” He rubbed your back soothingly. 

“I’m being stupid,” you sniffed into his chest, getting his pyjama shirt wet. 

Moving your hair off your forehead, he kissed a spot he could reach. “You’re not. You’re tired and uncomfortable.” His palm felt really good stroking between your shoulder blades. “Close your eyes and think of something relaxing.”  

“All I have to think about is the impending horrors of childbirth.” 

Seokjin didn’t reply, probably realising there was nothing he could say to that. He’d seen the videos too. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” you added.

“I’m sorry too,” he sighed softly. “I had a stressful day.” You hated that he was working so hard while simultaneously knowing you would be beyond happy and grateful once your daughter was born. You were ready to tag team Sarang’s first month in this world. 

“If you can’t sleep, neither will I,” Seokjin announced a few moments later. 

“Now you’re the one being stupid.” 

He barked a laugh, loud in the middle of the night. Then, fondly, “I love you.” 

You smiled against him. You would never get sick of hearing that. It was just three small words, but you knew Seokjin meant them deeply every time. And so did you. “I love you, too.”

A couple of weeks ago, Seokjin got the front page on one of the most well-known business magazines. You didn’t know who had been more excited, you or everyone else who adored him. Definitely not him anyway. Seokjin handled it with his usual Seokjin modesty, as if it wasn’t a big deal at all. You had a copy on your nightstand and another on the coffee table in the best living room. Yeonja even bought a copy for her coffee table, and Mari too! She messaged you a picture on the day it came out. Seokjin had a lot of fans. It was no wonder when you saw his photoshoot. Fashionable in his beige turtleneck and grey suit, he looked objectively handsome. There was no issue of being biased, your man seriously was that good looking! And wonderful. You’d read the part where they mentioned you and Sarang (not by name) in his interview at least a dozen times, and it never failed to put a massive grin on your face (and shed a tear or two.) Plus, reading the interviewer praise him made you inexplicably happy. 

Having taken up most of his twenties and half of his thirties, Alpaca Gaming Studios has been his life, but it’s time to concentrate on more personal matters. After falling in love earlier this year, there’s a baby on the way, and Seokjin is ready to gradually take a step back from work. “She’s the most amazing person I know,” he says about his partner, sounding smitten. “I want to spend as much time with my family as possible. I can’t wait to become a father.” He’s unable to fight the grin on his face. 

Staunchly private, he won’t reveal much about his relationship, but his beaming face is proof of how in love he is. His company still means the world to him, but he is very aware that it could shine just as hard without him – his words, not mine! I am inclined to disagree. AGS has obviously become what it is because of the man sat in front of me. Politely spoken and painfully modest, it seems almost impossible that he is CEO of one of the world’s most popular video game companies. Not to mention, Kim is quite unnervingly handsome. It’s practically unfair. He laughs when I tell him this, turning red. 

“Nothing like that,” he’s quick to correct, when I ask him if he plans on stepping down. Then jokes, “I’ll give everyone I know a heart attack if they read this. I can’t see myself stepping down any time soon.”  

It’s another one of his charms. To be serious and subsequently dilute it with a joke. Not everyone could pull it off, and Seokjin does so numerous times during this interview. His charisma is something else! 

“We’re a team at AGS, a family” he continues, “and they are way more talented than I could ever be.” He chuckles self-deprecatingly, somehow making it attractive. “I have no doubt that if I ever did decide to retire, they’d do just fine without me. There’s my second in command, after all.” 

He’s mentioned his secretary slash best friend Jung Hoseok numerous times throughout this interview and insists he wouldn’t be here now without him. In fact, he wouldn’t be here now without a number of people. It’s obvious that he genuinely believes that. There is nothing false about Kim Seokjin. His gratitude and humility are two more admirable qualities that make this man hard to judge or criticise. 

The mention of Seokjin stepping down from CEO one day had shocked you at first. Making plans for his month-long paternity leave was one thing, but to talk about gradually distancing himself from his role was something he’d never even mentioned. He was quick to reassure you that he wasn’t seriously thinking any of that, his mouth just had a habit of running away from him during nerve-wracking situations like a global magazine interview. It was true that he wanted to take more time for you and Sarang, not work such long hours, and to have stress-free weekends, but he wasn’t ready to leave everything he still loved so much. At least not right now. Who knows what the future holds, he told you. Maybe five years from now we’ll have Glob No.2 and I won’t want to step into the office ever again.

You liked thinking of the future these days. Of your future with him and Sarang…and Glob No.2. (But no No.3 like he’d also suggested!) Before the future never used to cross your mind, but you had so many new things to look forward to now. Your relationship, your baby, Yuna and Jimin’s wedding! Life was exciting and constantly changing, filled with things that had never crossed your mind this time last year. It was a great feeling, even when you struggled to stand on your feet for more than ten minutes right now…

As Seokjin’s 35th birthday was going to be overshadowed by Sarang’s arrival into this world, his parents insisted on celebrating early. It was a multitude of celebrations to tell the truth: Jin’s birthday, his interview, Sarang’s imminent arrival, the last hoorah before said arrival. 

Seokjin knew about it of course, he didn’t very much like surprises, and Mikyung had kept you updated every step of the way because you were too exhausted to help organise a thing. In fact, you were probably too exhausted to even attend the party. You were 39 weeks pregnant and hadn’t done much movement in over a week. You moved from the bedroom to the sofa, to the kitchen, to the sofa, to the bedroom again at the end of the day. It wasn’t a very fun existence, so with cutthroat determination, you were attending your man’s birthday party. Even if you sat down for most of the night and begged to go home by 8pm. 

Yuna did your hair and make-up, and even your nails. If the last few weeks of pregnancy had taught you anything, it was that you could get used to the kind of life where people did everything for you. You were due for a harsh reality check in ten days’ time, because your role was going to be well and truly reversed. You’d folded yourself into a grey velvet wrap dress, complete with chunky socks, before sliding your swollen feet into a trusty pair of Crocs – black this time. Fashion was the last thing on your mind at the moment, which was heart-breaking for the likes of you, but if you were being honest, it had taken a backseat a long time ago. 

The venue was stunning. Mikyung really had pulled out all the stops for her Seokjinie, the theme winter wonderland-esque in gold and creams. There was even an outdoor area decorated much the same, with the gazebo draped in string lights that twinkled in the dark. You wouldn’t be caught outside in mid-November weather, but each to their own. While the party was in the development stages, it had been a toss-up between a three-course meal or a buffet. In the end, down to a committee vote, buffet had won, which you were ecstatic about because you loved a good ol’ buffet. Jungkook was chuffed too and sat next to you munching on two plates piled high with every option available. 

The guest list wasn’t excessive, but it did include a few family members and friends you hadn’t met yet, and Seokjin introduced you to them with a very loving “this is my ____.” It made you beam and feel almost drunk, which you were most definitely not. Somewhere along the line you lost him, but you were in no condition to go and find him. Instead, you sat down at the corner table you’d nabbed for your own, and watched everyone having fun, amused and quietly laughing to yourself. It made you happy that there were so many people here celebrating Seokjin. 

Your brother was poking around what was left of the buffet, and your father and Yeonja were slow dancing together in the middle of the dancefloor. When the song changed abruptly, you watched them break apart awkwardly, unsure of how to continue. Your sister was sat on the opposite side of the room, on her phone, but occasionally you caught her glancing up and watching Hoseok who was now busting out some moves while Kang struggled to keep up. (Fun fact: Hoseok was a trained street dancer. You’d found out tonight.) Ah, not only was he way too old for her, but he was also gay. Maybe she’d realise both on her own, if not you’d let her down gently later. Jungkook was dancing with Haram. She was laughing as he spun her around. They both looked like they were having fun, which was nice to witness. It was a far cry from their behaviour at your dinner party all those weeks ago. 

Seokjin’s brother and wife were dancing with Taeoh and Jiu. His parents must be outside – crazy people. Namjoon and Yeeun were sat on a table; he whispered in her ear and made her giggle. Mari walked over, unintentionally interrupting them. Yuna and Jimin were nowhere to be seen. 

While deep in concentration, a figure suddenly leaned over you, blocking your view, and you looked up to see a joyful looking Seokjin. His face was flushed and his eyes shiny, but he wasn’t drunk. Now that you were close to the end, he refused to touch even a drop of alcohol. Just in case. 

He held out his hand. “Care to dance with me, my beautiful lady?” 

“How about a shuffle?” 

He chuckled. “I would want nothing more than to shuffle with you.” 

With a grin, you took his hand, and he helped your stiff body up. You needed to dance at least once, or just get on the dancefloor. Thankfully, the song changed as you got there, something slow and meaningful again. You looped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his around your waist and started to sway slowly. He looked hot in a tux. If you had the energy, you’d rough it up later tonight. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be the case. 

“Happy early birthday,” you said, kissing him. 

One of Seokjin’s palms slid to your bump as he smiled against your mouth. He pulled back slightly. “I’m looking forward to my early gift.” 

“I love you, you know that, don’t you?” You didn’t know what it was, possibly the lyrics in the song you were dancing to, but the love you felt for him seemed to want to burst out of you. 

“I do know that,” he replied, his smile turning into a cheeky grin. “I love you more, though.” 

Laughing at how ridiculous he was, you gazed into one another’s eyes and continued to slow dance, Sarang in the middle. Even when the song shifted. Neither of you cared that you weren’t in time to the music. But before long, Yuna appeared at your side, tugging your arm. 

“I’m stealing your woman,” she told Seokjin, who knew not to put up too much of a fight. She dragged you into the centre of the room. “I’ve been waiting for you to get on the floor all night!” 

Well, she best make the most of it because she had exactly three more minutes before you gave out. You weren’t even moving your feet as she held your hands and moved your arms up and down, but you were both having fun, laughing and making noise. You span her around at one point, then felt a throb in your lower back. That was it. 

“Yuna, I can’t do anymore,” you shouted over the music, one hand clutching the offending area. 

“Party pooper!” she yelled, but she was grinning as she said it, kissing your cheek before you hobbled off, your feet killing you. 

You made your way back to your corner, flopping down on the chair with a groan. Seokjin had disappeared again, but you didn’t mind. You needed five. Unless your bladder decided it wanted to be emptied again. You’d spent enough of your time in the restroom already. As you were sending a silent prayer to your bladder, you felt a twinge low in your stomach. You didn’t think much of it as you’d been experiencing similar things for a few days anyway. At your last doctor’s appointment, it had been confirmed that your bump had dropped, and Dr. Choi had said you might start experiencing some aches and twinges here and there as labour drew closer. 

However, that twinge did feel a lot stronger, and your back was burning, but maybe it was because you’d been more active tonight than you had been for days – weeks even. As you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your lower back continued to throb. Your pain was interrupted by Kang coming over. He was breathing hard and sweat was beading from his hairline. The chair scraped across the floor as he threw himself down. “Not feeling it either?” you asked through gritted teeth. 

“Hoseok doesn’t even know I’m gone,” he laughed weakly, then furrowed his brow when he took you in. “You okay?” 

“I think I’ve hit my limit tonight,” you admitted, rubbing the underside of your bump. Maybe you should go find Seokjin and tell him you were going home. He could stay here, you didn’t mind, and you didn’t want to ruin his night. You were sure your dad could take you back, he hadn’t been drinking either because he had to drive back to the hotel he, Yeonja and your siblings were staying at for the night. 

“Should I ask one of the waiting staff for some water?” Kang asked, sounding concerned. 

You shook your head. “I’m fine.” Then belatedly remembered your manners. “Thank you.” 

Kang didn’t look like he believed you. 

“THERE YOU ARE!” Hoseok’s screech of a voice made you both jump, and you winced. Shit, your back felt as if it was on fire. “Don’t think you can sneak away from me, lover,” he told Kang, pulling at his hands. “Come dance again!” He noticed you then. “Hey, ____!” Then noticed your expression, instantly worried. “What’s wrong?” 

You sucked in a breath. “Nothing.” 

“It’s not nothing,” Kang said. He leaned over, brows knitted together. “Are you sure you’re all right? You look like you’re in pain.” 

You felt another—something. “I just—it’s just twinges.” They both saw your grimace. This wasn’t just a twinge. It was going on for a little longer, something inside you clenching. Stomach muscles maybe, or something else… “I should find Seokjin.” You jumped up with a buoyancy you didn’t know you had anymore, panic and pain driving your body. 

“Maybe he stepped outside. Let me—” 

Kang stopped abruptly when the sound of liquid splashed on the floor. There wasn’t much of it, and it was a similar sound to when you had a mug of tea filled too full and some slid over the brim and onto the floor as you walked. Only it was coming from between your legs, so it wasn’t tea. And you weren’t holding a mug. 

“Is that…?” The colour drained from Hoseok’s face, which did nothing for your nerves. You stared wide-eyed at Kang. You needed him right now. He was a nurse. He could make sense of the situation. Had you peed yourself? It wouldn’t be the first time. 

“____, don’t panic,” Kang began calmly, “but I think you might be in labour.” 

“I can’t be.” You shook your head, adamant. Or maybe it was because you couldn’t be going into labour here. Surrounded by your family and friends and even some people you didn’t know. “I’m not due yet. My doctor said I might feel some—things but I—” 

“____, your waters have broken,” Kang interrupted. Firmer this time. 

“Oh God, not here.” You crumbled, heart starting to race ninety to the dozen.

“Sit back down,” he ordered softly, getting you back down into the chair. You felt damp between your legs and your socks felt slightly wet and gross. “Hoseok, go and find Jin – as discreetly as possible,” he added, looking around. 

Good. The last thing you wanted to do was gain attention. But for how long that would be possible, you had no idea. You were in labour in the middle of a party. 

“On it,” Hoseok nodded purposefully and disappearing. 

No sooner had he gone, Jungkook was appearing in his place. “What’s going on here?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “ ____, wanna dance?” 

“I don’t think she’s up to it right now,” Kang replied, his hand on your back. 

Jungkook’s eyes widened as he took you in, and got wider when he noticed the floor. “Oh shit. Are you having the baby?” 

“She’s in labour, yes,” Kang answered for you. 

“Where’s Jin?” 

“Hobi went to find him.” He tugged on Jungkook’s suit jacket. “Come here, crowd a little so people don’t realise what’s going on.” 

Obliging, he hid you from view, the front of his shoe in your amniotic fluid! You made a strangled noise, but he didn’t seem to care. “Are you okay?” he asked, and he sounded panicked. 

“Sort of,” you winced, moving a little because of your back. “I’m a little mortified if anything.” 

In truth, you couldn’t quite believe it was happening. Surely you would have realised earlier? And surely you should be in more pain? You mean, yes, you were in pain right now, but shouldn’t it be worse? Or maybe it just hadn’t kicked in properly yet. Oh God, the thought made you nervous. Your hand was shaking as you brought it over your mouth, breathing out slowly. 

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Jungkook insisted. “I guess Sarang wanted to be a part of the fun too.” 

You managed a smile, grateful he was trying to make a joke. “Fuck, I really hope she won’t be born right here right now.” 

“You have a good few hours yet,” Kang reassured, still rubbing your back. “Don’t worry—” 

“____!” Seokjin exclaimed, racing towards you, shoes skidding on the floor. There was nothing discreet about the father of your baby. Not that you cared right now, you just wanted him. 

You reached out for him in panic, gripping his hand as he got closer. “Seokjin, she’s coming!” 

Kang moved so Seokjin could take his seat. “This suddenly?” he asked, taking over rubbing your back. You knew what he was thinking. He’d only seen you twenty minutes ago. His eyes were wide, his breathing coming out in loud puffs. 

“My back’s been aching more than usual today,” you started babbling. “I didn’t realise at first, I just thought it was—” You stopped when you felt another tightening sensation and looked up at Kang. “Are these contractions?” 

He nodded. “You’ve probably been in latent labour for a few hours.” 

Seokjin let out a shaky sigh. “We need to get to the birthing centre.” 

“Call first,” Kang advised. “You might get there just to be sent home otherwise.” 

“But she’s in labour!” Jungkook cried, then immediately clamped is jaw shut. Kang looked around but there was no one near your corner. Most people were on the dancefloor or outside. 

“Let’s go somewhere quieter at least,” Seokjin said, stroking some of your hair. “Yeah?” he murmured, kissing your cheek. 

You nodded, thankful. You didn’t want to be inside here one second longer. “Where are our parents?” 

“They’re all sat in the gazebo. Jiu’s running around like Road Runner out there. She’s even tiring Taeoh out.” 

Despite the situation, that got a laugh out of you. Jiu was getting confident on her tiny, little feet now. She was turning into a terror. 

“I’ll go let them know. You go,” Hoseok said. 

Seokjin smiled. “Thanks, Hobi.” He helped you up carefully. “Come on, let’s get you in the car. I’ll call the centre from there.” Leaning on him, he kissed your temple. “You’re okay,” he murmured.

“I’m okay,” you confirmed, psyching yourself up more than anything. You could do this. You had this. 

Kang stayed behind to wait for Hoseok while Jungkook followed you both as you tried to make a quick and undiscovered exit. You made it out the room successfully before you remembered something – no wait, someone. You clutched Seokjin’s arm. “Wait, where’s Yuna? I need her.” You needed your best friend. 

Jungkook looked back into the party. “I’ll go find her.” 

It was cold outside, but it was nice. You felt as if you’d been boiling up inside. You sat in the passenger’s seat of Seokjin’s car with the door open as he crouched in front of you, stroking up and down your thighs. 

“____! Oh my God,” Yuna cried, bursting out of the building, Jimin and Kang at her heels. The latter had your coat. 

“Yuna, a bit quieter,” Seokjin hissed, standing up. 

“Sorry,” she panted, her handbag gripped in her fingers. “Oh my God.” She got down low on the floor, replacing Seokjin. “Glob is coming!”

“I’m aware.” You felt another twinge—no, contraction—and held yourself rigid. 

She fussed over you a minute while Seokjin paced behind her. Jimin and Kang were talking quietly among themselves. “Did your waters break?” she asked. They didn’t for some, and you’d both been wondering if it would happen for you. 

“Yes. Oh shit, the floor!” Your neck snapped up and you stared over at Kang. 

“Jungkook asked someone for a mop and bucket, don’t worry. He said it was champagne.” 

Before you could squawk in horror – although, you had to admit that was very sweet of him to do that for you to avoid mortification – Seokjin’s phone started ringing. As he moved closer to you, you heard his mom’s frantic voice, but couldn’t make anything out. 

“It’s fine, mom. Everything’s fine,” Seokjin told her evenly, shooting calmness through your veins. If he could stay in one piece, so could you. Maybe. 

“I’m going to call the centre to see if we can check in. I’ll call you when I know more, all right?” His mother responded with something and he chuckled. “I will, don’t worry… Tell Minsoo and Yeonja she’s doing okay, please… Thank you. I better go. Bye.” 

Seokjin immediately got up the contact for the birth centre but made sure to check on you before he hit call, even as Yuna buzzed between you both. You squeezed his hand, trying to stay calm despite everything. The time had finally come, you were going to have your baby.  

Written 2022 - 2023. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2023

[robininthelabyrinth]

3. I have no idea if this time line would work, but MYX and XY get attached to each other, so when the time comes that MYX and XY need to leave Koi Tower, JGY helps them get married in secret and run away to Dongu. Anyways, a few years latter, JGY has a kid that needs to go and people in a removed location that owe him favors! Isn’t that a wonderful combination! A Jin(?) Rusong raised by Uncles Mo and Xue, or whatever they go by these days, would be very chaotic. Bonus: they start a relatively safe demonic cultivation sect, maybe with some guidance from the Nie (has NMJ never been killed by the Jin in this Au?), or more specifically, Huaisang. SL and XXC who got a happy ending decide to check out this no blood line sect (it looks slightly dubious, but surely can’t be to bad! Right?) A-Qing at least is enjoying her new friend -🟪🦋

Should Have Been Listening - ao3

“Let go of me.”

“I won’t,” Mo Xuanyu said, clutching Xue Yang’s arm. “I won’t, I won’t! You’re my only friend here!”

Xue Yang looked down at him in what he thought was mostly exasperation, but might have also been a little fondness – after all, if it’d been anyone else who’d grabbed him, he’d have stabbed them.

He still didn’t know why he didn’t stab Mo Xuanyu, too, but in all honesty, he wasn’t that interested in exploring it. He did what he wanted, and right now, he didn’t want to murder Mo Xuanyu.

Irritating as he sometimes was.

“Little brat,” he said. “I have important business to go do.”

“It’s not something that he ordered, though!”

“So what?” Xue Yang bristled. “I don’t just do what hetells me!”

“But that means he won’t cover for you, and that means you’ll get in trouble!” Mo Xuanyu argued. “How can I let you go all alone to get in trouble? You have to take me with you! What will you do without me? Who’ll keep you entertained and sneak sweets for you if not for me?”

Xue Yang’s lips twitched. Okay, maybe there was a reason he kept the brat around.

“You don’t understand,” he said. “This is something I’ve got to do – something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’m going to kill a lot of people and get into a lot of trouble, more trouble than ever before. I’ll probably lose my life. How can I possibly take you with me?”

Mo Xuanyu scowled up at him. It was a very weak scowl – barely more than a pout. “You think that’s going to make me not want to come with you?”

Xue Yang’s eyebrows went up. “You cry at the sight of blood!”

“I cry at a lot of things!”

Xue Yang wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It was true, Mo Xuanyu cried at a lot of things.

“Maybe if I come with you, it won’t be so bad!”

Yeeeeah, Xue Yang wasn’t going to count on that.

“Or maybe you don’t have to go…?”

“I have to go,” he explained. “If I don’t go, I can’t get revenge, and I have to have revenge.”

Mo Xuanyu blinked up at him.

“I don’t really understand, but okay,” he said, and tugged on his arm. “Let’s go together, then. I promise I won’t cry!”

-

He cried.

He cried a lot.

-

“Stop fucking crying.”

-

“Just – ugh. Listen. You’re ruining the mood.”

-

“If you can’t stop crying, go away. Now. Or I’ll stab you!”

-

“Okay, see, look, I just killed the leaders, see? Just the old men. Everyone else is just locked in their rooms. Once the sect leader comes back, I’ll kill him too, and that’ll be all. Okay? Everyone else lives. I promise. Now stop crying, okay?”

-

“I don’t want to know,” Jin Guangyao said when they got back. “I don’t want to know at all.”

“Good,” Xue Yang grumbled. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Enough people heard about the reason for what you did that opinions are mixed as to whether your actions were the Chang clan’s just rewards for their former misdeeds or if they were actually wrong,” Jin Guangyao said. He looked irritated. “But you still killed high-ranking members of a sect, and you left enough alive that they’re demanding your head on a platter. You’re going to need to run away.”

Mo Xuanyu hesitantly gestured as if he wished to speak.

“Yes, you can go with him. Now that my father is dead, no one cares where you are.”

Mo Xuanyu beamed.

“You’re just going to let us go?” Xue Yang asked suspiciously. “That seems unlike you. What’s in it for you?”

“Oh, I’m not just going to let you go. I’m going to give you money, too,” Jin Guangyao said. “And all you need to do for me is one little tiny favor –”

Pity that that was when Xue Yang stopped listening, too busy staring at Mo Xuanyu’s delighted face and counting all the way he was in for it now.

-

“I’ve always wanted to take care of a baby,” Mo Xuanyu said happily.

“Good for you,” Xue Yang said darkly as he stalked through the streets.

He would rather that Jin Guangyao had needed a body buried and a death covered up or something – and judging by the baby’s perturbed expression, it probably agreed with him. Fuck, maybe Jin Guangyao had meant for them to murder the baby once they got it far enough out of the way. It was just as plausible as Mo Xuanyu's assumption that they were supposed to take care of it.

Damnit, maybe he should have been listening.

“Listen, neither of us are equipped to handle a baby. Go find a woman to help us – someone poor and helpless who doesn’t have any other choice.”

“Okay!”

-

Xue Yang shut his eyes. “What exactly,” he said slowly, “did you think I asked you to get us a woman for, exactly?”

“To…watch the baby?” Mo Xuanyu guessed. “When we’re busy or sleeping? Anyway, what’s wrong with A-Qing, anyway? She’s nice!”

“I’m not nice,” A-Qing said. The damn brat was smirking – and for once it wasn’t his damn brat, but some blind brat with a cocky expression. “I stole your wallet and you burst into tears and it was really embarrassing.”

“He does that,” Xue Yang said wearily. At least he’d noticed the theft this time – all of his lessons in ‘how not to be a sucker and get constantly taken advantage of’ were maybe having something of an impact. Maybe. “For some reason I’m apparently into it.”

He couldn’t explain it any other way.

“…loser.”

“I will stab you,” Xue Yang threatened. “I don’t care if you’re blind.”

“Won’t someone tell me why A-Qing isn’t a perfectly good babysitter?” Mo Xuanyu demanded. He was holding the baby in his arms again – the baby liked him more than it did Xue Yang, which meant that between Mo Xuanyu and the baby, the baby had better self-preservation instincts – and he was trying his best stern scowl which was of course barely more than a pout and a so-called ‘fierce’ expression that made Xue Yang want to laugh.

Not even Mo Xuanyu’s horrific make-up skills could make thatface intimidating. Or maybe it was just that the person behind the face was just so completely unthreatening that there was no help for it?

“Well? Tell me!”

Xue Yan opened his mouth, then shrugged and shut it again.

A-Qing patted Mo Xuanyu on the shoulder. “I’m too young. No milk.”

“…milk?”

“You know. The thing babies eat?”

“…milk,” Mo Xuanyu repeated, only now he looked absolutely heartbroken at having failed the mission that Xue Yang had assigned him almost entirely just to get him out of the way while Xue Yang collected some spare cash and threatened their way onto a ride out of this piece of shit town.

“It’s fine,” Xue Yang said hastily. “We’ll just get a goat or something, I don’t know.”

“Okay, I actually only came here to laugh at you,” A-Qing said. “But now I’m legitimately worried about this baby. Don’t you two know anything? How’d you even get a baby, anyway?”

-

“Stop laughing. It’s not that funny.”

-

“Seriously. Stop laughing, or I stab you.”

“Don’t worry, A-Qing,” Mo Xuanyu said. “He doesn’t mean it! Threats are just how he expresses affection!”

“It most certainly is not.”

“That is absolutely amazing,” A-Qing said, wiping her eyes. “Best thing I’ve ever heard., if by best I mean worse-but-hilarious. I mean. If that’s what he considers affection, what must his flirting be like?”

“No one is flirting with anyone!”

-

“Are you going to leave at some point?”

“Obviously not,” A-Qing said. She’d caught the same ride as them, using Xue Yang’s cash no less – Mo Xuanyu had insisted that it was the least they could do after the whole milk misunderstanding, which was stupid, she ought to be paying them for wasting their time. Xue Yang couldn’t wait to get rid of her, although he had to admit that she’d been pretty useful in terms of putting on the ‘poor sad blind girl and her two brothers all alone in the world’ act to get them a room at the inn at prices even Xue Yang felt comfortable paying. “Are you joking? This is so much funnier than walking by myself. Anyway, I enjoy watching people crash and burn.”

“Aren’t you too young to be such a bitch?” Xue Yang hissed. “And, I don’t know, blind?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t care what you –”

The sound of crying came from the other room.

It was quickly followed by a second set of crying.

Xue Yang felt the onset of a headache.

“…truce?” A-Qing suggested sweetly, as if she knew exactly how much it pissed him off and thought it was the funniest thing ever, which was…probably accurate, actually. “I’ll get the baby to stop crying if you do the same with Mo Xuanyu.”

Yeah, that was definitely a headache. The sort of headache called why do I like that brat.

Mo Xuanyu owed him so much candy for putting up with this shit.

“Fine,” Xue Yang said begrudgingly. “Truce. Temporarily. And then you leave!”

-

“So we live here now, huh?” A-Qing said, looking around the house they’d claimed. “That’s neat.”

“Why do you live with us again?” Xue Yang asked her, though by now he barely even meant it. A-Qing was clearly another one in the same mold as Mo Xuanyu: you just couldn’t say no to her…or, rather, you could, at length and top volume and with threats, only it just didn’t stick. “I definitely did not recall asking you to stay.”

Though it was nice to have someone else around that wasn’t going to get immediately ripped off by literally anyone who came their way. Mo Xuanyu’d started getting conned by the literal infant that they were taking care of – he was completely hopeless.

Also, questionably blind or not, at least A-Qing had no hesitation about beating people with her stick if they struck her the wrong way, which was a life approach Xue Yang agreed with wholeheartedly.

“She’s going to learn to cultivate!” Mo Xuanyu chirped from where he was applying his make-up. “Demonic cultivation, too! We had a whole discussion about it while you were out getting groceries!”

That made a certain amount of sense, Xue Yang supposed. You didn’t need talent to be a demonic cultivator – technically speaking, given his bloodline, Mo Xuanyu was more naturally gifted in cultivation than Xue Yang, which was just wrong on all sorts of levels – and it was certainly more effective a defense mechanism than A-Qing’s stick. If there were two of them, they could protect Mo Xuanyu and the baby more effectively, taking shifts when needed, and Mo Xuanyu, who was also going to learn demonic cultivation no matter how many times Xue Yang had to hammer it into his head, could be the last line of defense, largely since no one would ever expect him to be able to do…anything…and they’d be right, too.

So it wasn’t the craziest idea in the world, only…

“…who is she going to be learning from, exactly!?”

-

“Have you ever considered charging for your skill in teaching cultivation lessons instead of your skill in stabbing people?” A-Qing asked one day. They were lying on the ground and having the corpses they’d raised fan them to try to reduce the temperature – it was that sort of day. Also, Mo Xuanyu, who might’ve objected, wasn’t around. “You’re not actually that bad at this. Might be more profitable, and less work. Just a thought.”

“Shut up. I’m great at stabbing people.”

“Yeah, but then after a while we have to move because people get annoyed at that, and it’s getting a little annoying to have to pack up all the time.”

“We’d have to move anyway. We’re wanted criminals, remember?”

“We could be wanted criminals with a house. Besides, wouldn’t you like to be called Teacher Xue?”

“What? No. Gross.”

-

“So you see, it turns out that they were teaching demonic cultivation in a safe and organized fashion,” Xiao Xingchen explained enthusiastically. “They’d even gathered up their own little sect! And of course everyone heard what the Chang clan did, so there’s no need to worry about them going around and murdering people at random – it was a targeted revenge scheme.”

“We’re working on teaching them regular cultivation,” Song Lan agreed, nodding. “To help mitigate the negative effects of demonic cultivation…well, we started out by just teaching them.”

“It turned out that they’d been secretly teaching all of the local delinquents, too, or at least Mo-gongzi had been teaching a few and Mistress Qing was teaching a few others, and even Sect Leader Xue had a few disciples,” Xiao Xingchen said, politely omitting or possibly having not noticed the fact that Mo Xuanyu had been teaching his ‘friends’ (read: scammers trying to take advantage of him), while A-Qing and Xue Yang had each been trying to form competing gangs and/or obtain lackeys. Xue Yang didn’t mind the oversight, largely on account of the fact that A-Qing had been winning, damn her – he’d kept getting distracted by inventing new things. “And a few of them had real talent – and you know that Zichen and I have always wanted to start a sect of our own, with no bloodline ties –”

“We’re joining their sect,” Song Lan said. “We’ll be leading the orthodox side, while they lead the demonic cultivation aspect – safely, of course.”

“I guess it’s better than them being crazy,” Jiang Cheng said. He sounded dubious. “I don’t like it, but at least all the demonic cultivators can be in one spot, you know?”

He made it sound like they’d be dropping off new ones there in the future.

Like they’d opened up some sort of pet rescue and were taking in unwanted puppies or something.

“Agreed,” Nie Mingjue said. “To the extent that they aren’t causing active harm, containment seems an appropriate remedy here. Who seconds the motion?”

“I do,” Lan Xichen said, and smiled at the newly agreed-upon sect. “Welcome back to the cultivation world, Sect Leader Xue.”

-

“I don’t want to know,” Jin Guangyao said, glaring.

“Don’t worry,” Xue Yang told him. “This comes as much of a shock to me as to you.”

The glare intensified, but that was fine. Jin Guangyao’s facial expressions, however minor and generally overlooked, had been the only thing getting him through that awful, awful meeting just now where people kept trying to salute him and make him salute back and if he didn’t then he was letting down Mo Xuanyu (who would send him a sad look) and A-Qing (who would hear about it from Mo Xuanyu later and then find a way to step on his foot right when he was concentrating on something).

Not to mention their two new resident lovebirds, who looked so righteous and proper from the outside but who also may or may not have accidentally full-on actually resurrected some dead asshole cultivator more or less the first time they’d joined Xue Yang in his demonic cultivation laboratory – which would have been fine, you know, that happened in demonic cultivation though not normally to quite such a wow-is-he-actually-alive extent, except that the guy’s intermittent moments of clarity suggested that his two new sect members might have just brought back the Yiling Patriarch himself, which was going to make all of them wanted criminal again the second anyone found out about it.

Ugh.

Being called sect leader was completely not worth this shit.

Xue Yang comforted himself with the reminder that later today he was planning on publicly introducing Jin Guangyao to the Xue sect’s head junior disciple “Xue Song” and announcing loudly that the brat needed some lessons in manners, that he’d heard that that was Lianfeng-zun’s specialty, and nominating him to take care of the kid while they were visiting.

See how the fucker liked that.

“I always knew Xue-gege could do great things!” Mo Xuanyu said, clapping his hands as A-Qing rolled her (by now, Xue Yang was almost definitely sure not actually blind) eyes behind his back. “As long as I went with him!”

[theepisceswriter]

Jealous!Reader with AOT characters (Erwin, Reiner, Connie, Levi)

A/N: it’s always ‘Jealous AOT characters this’ and ‘AOT characters reacting to someone flirting with you’ but almost never the reader being the jealous one or reacting to someone flirting with their boo !

TW: none really apply, sort of suggestive themes (with Erwin), GN!reader, Modern AU

ERWIN SMITH

No matter what AU setting Erwin is thrown in he still possesses those qualities that make him a great leader and figure for people to look up to. People adore him and so do you because he truly is an admirable person, but sometimes other people get a little too carried away with it.

Suddenly every dad joke he makes is 100x funnier to them, they just have to comment and compliment him on everything he does, and they don’t mind pushing you to the side or ignoring your presence completely to talk to Erwin. It’s in professional settings like work banquets, fundraiser events, etc that it usually happens so he has no choice but to be cordial and pursue a conversation with them or reply to their sly comments.

This puts you in an awkward position; you don’t want to say anything and ruin the whole night for everyone and make the atmosphere awkward, but you also don’t want to watch the whole night while people come and flirt with your man right in front of you. So, you awkwardly just stand off to the side with your arms crossed over your chest, champagne in hand, and a slight frown on your forehead even when you’re trying to do something like watch the entertainment to clear your mind.

At one point Erwin comes over to checkup on you and even tries to kiss you on the cheek before heading off, but all you give him is attitude. You scoff at his questions and when he tries to kiss you on the cheek you move away from him. “Shouldn’t you be giving kisses to your coworker instead? They seem to be riding your dick more than me.”

Erwin the brat tamer is in shock !! One, he has no idea if he should pull you into the nearest storage closet and teach you a lesson for talking to him like that, but his shock at you feeling that way and concern for your jealous feelings take over.

He didn’t know you were affected by it that bad. It was just for work and he thought you understood that, but it was his fault for not making that clear with you and he does apologize to you for that like the try gentleman he is; bringing your hand up to his mouth and trailing kisses from your hand, up your arm, and eventually to your mouth.

He evens forces you to follow him around the whole night, his arm never leaving your waist and holding you close to him so everyone knows that you’re with him. The next time someone tries to flirt with him in front of you he’s quick to hit them with that, “Don’t you see my gorgeous partner right here next to me? Do you think that was appropriate to say knowing I’m a taken man? You should be ashamed of yourself.” Now that he knows it affected you that much.

REINER BRAUN

Reiner is so oblivious when people are trying to flirt with him. It’s the reason why your relationship had such a slow burn to it at first because it’s so hard for his brain to comprehend that someone is genuinely being nice to him and interested in him for once.

That’s why when two girls came up to him commenting on how big his muscles were and sneakily stealing skin on skin contact with him, he was completely oblivious; just kept chatting on and on about his workout routine and what he eats on the daily like they were genuinely interested in that. At one point he was even about to trade numbers with them before you stepped in, wrapped your arms around his torso, and nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck placing kisses on his sweet spot that left him red and stuttering out sentences.

The girls eventually got the hint and left abruptly with quick goodbyes, just as you had planned out in your head. You remove your head from his neck and look up at him with those puppy dog eyes, “I don’t like how they were feeling all up on you like that. You know these pecks are meant to be squished by me and only me 🥺”

Leading them on or flirting with them whether he knew it or not was never his intention and he lets you know that right off the bat, telling you how he wasn’t even thinking about them in that light, but of course you already knew that. Which is why you can’t be mad at him at all in the first place.

He simply just makes up for it with a kiss and you go on with your day.

CONNIE SPRINGER

Connie is a naturally funny guy. He doesn’t even have to be trying and he still cracks you up, it’s one of the reasons you were so drawn to him and became a couple in the first place. It’s also almost mainly part of the reason you end up getting jealous.

You see how people cling to him when he’s cracking his jokes. How they like to playfully hit his chest for skin to skin contact or how they sit underneath him complimenting him all night making him feel like he’s on top of the world. He’s so clouded by the praises people throw at him that, like Reiner, he’s so oblivious to the flirtatious undertone of them. Only focusing on the high he feels in the moment.

It’s not until he glances over at where you’re sitting, noticeably distanced away from everyone else with a scowl on your face as you looked off into the distance, that he becomes concerned. He tells the group of people surrounding him that he’ll be back and he’s at your side in an instant. “Is everything okay? Don’t you want to be in the conversation with all of us? You don’t have to sit here alone.”

You try to brush him off, tell him everything’s okay and to go back with his group, but that’s not working with Connie! He’s poking and prodding at your side and cracking corny jokes until he sees a smile on your lips and has you cracking up. It’s after his threats of tickling you that you finally spill the beans about how you’re sorta kinda jealous that his attention was on everyone else but you and how they were practically flirting with him.

And what does he do? He starts bursting out laughing! Of course, that takes you by surprise but you know he’s not laughing at you but the situation at hand instead. It has your cheeks getting warm and you desperately trying to hide your face away from him in your hands, but he doesn’t allow you do to that. He’s peppering your face with kisses in between his giggles and assuring you that, “You’ve been on the back of my mind all night long. I don’t even know what half of those people’s faces look like because I haven’t been paying attention to anything but their laughs.”

He forces you to come sit with him and continues on with his jokes and participation in the conversation, but now with you snuggled into his side with his arm draped over your shoulders.

LEVI ACKERMAN

Levi isn’t stupid, he knows when people come up to him trying to flirt or fake interest in him with ulterior motives in their mind. He simply just doesn’t care. He’s as nonchalant as nonchalant gets; never flirting back with them and sometimes he doesn’t even reply to them at all but just stares until they get the hint that he doesn’t want to be bothered.

He expects you to be the same way, not care at all since he doesn’t entertain their silly games at all, but that’s not the case and he realizes that one day when notices the change in your demeanor and the sulking expression that suddenly comes over features after he tells you a story about a customer at his tea shop today trying so hard to flirt with him.

“Are you seriously jealous right now?” Yeah, he’s a little meanie about it at first because he’s Levi and he has no idea if you’re actually jealous or just toying with him.

But that just makes you feel worse because now you feel like you’re reacting over nothing and oops—here comes the waterworks as if this wasn’t already awkward enough for him. We all know Levi is the worst at reassurance, but he cares for you a lot so he’s going to take an attempt at it for you. Plus, he feels terrible for making you cry.

All he has to do is grab you by the chin, wipe your tears away with his thumbs, and assure you in a stern voice, “You know I would never give into their pitiful attempts at swooning me. You’re the only one I’ve had my eyes on for a while and that’s not going to change just because someone is trying to smooch me out of a free tea.” It works perfectly.

He even offers to take a day off of work to spend exclusively with you.

[leonhardt-simp]

AOT girls + Hange reacting to ‘deez nuts’ jokes.

[modern AU]

this isn’t a request but it’s funny so, here you go as my first post. Requests are open ! reblogs are okay ! this is a repost since I moved acc !

cw/ kind of suggestive on yelena’s

Annie Leonhardt: She would look at you with a whole lot of judgment for making such a joke in the first place. Expect a light punch in the arm or a pillow thrown to your face after said joke.

“what do you want to eat?” Annie asked, looking down at her phone as she proceeded to scroll through her phone. You both had been out all day and had both arrived at her house bit late.

Just as you were gonna answer, you suddenly had a grand thought come to mind.

you moved your body back to rest against the back of the couch, crossing your arms over your chest as you let out a light hum.

“hmm, how about DN?” you smiled at her, her expression suddenly turning into one of confusion as she looked up from her phone.

“what’s DN?”

“DEEZ NUTS ! HAH !” You laughed in victory.

Annie wouldn’t even respond. She just looked at you, her eyes squinting and eyebrows furrowed down.

She even tilted her head a bit, trying to understand how the joke was funny.

“Really-?”

“Sheesh, tough crowd.”

Mikasa Ackerman: she would be genuinely confused at first because she didn’t understand who candice was. poor girl would actually think someone named candice was an actual person in your life. you would have to explain the joke.

Mikasa and you both would be hanging out at the library with connie and sasha when the opportunity had risen.

Connie had been joking around with you and sasha as Mikasa had been studying with the small chaos, using it a background noise.

it was actually also Connie telling you to make the joke in the first place, he had been getting everyone else with it but he hadn’t had the opportunity to catch mikasa off guard yet.

So, you did. “Mikasa.” you leaned over to her side, Connie and Sasha were already laughing and giggling like idiots across the table.

“hmm?” she asked, looking up from her laptop and over to you with a the most genuine expression. “what is it?”

You couldn’t back down yet !

“Do you know candice?” Her expression faltered a bit and look a bit confused.

“You never spoke of a candice to me before- Who’s candice?-“

“CANDICE DIC-“

“Lower your voice-“ Mikasa would interrupt you, your confidence almost instantly dissipating in the little pause between you both.

“Now, who’s Candice-? Is she someone from your class-?”

Connie and Sasha bursted out into laughter when the joke couldn’t even come out of your mouth. How could you continue now?

Sasha Braus: You can’t outplay her in these jokes, she knows them like the back of her hand. She always manages to flip the joke onto you. almost always ends up with her laughing at you.

You both had gone to go out to eat so you both had been just sitting in her truck, her hand resting in yours as you both waited in the drive-thru line.

You had been trying for a good minute to catch her in these jokes. It’s not like you would do it all the time but, you knew you were getting close to getting her back. So you found your chance.

Casually, you began to start up on another conversation. hoping, you could catch her finally.

“Sasha, You never really did tell me. Do you prefer tapes or cds?” you asked as you turned to her, playing with the wristbands she wore. Sasha didn’t take the bait.

“Oh? I thought I told you on our first date. Remember? I even told you I was huge fan of D.” She responded casually.

This was what suddenly caught you off guard.

“I never even heard of a singer named Dee-“

“DEEZ NUTS”

“god fucking damn it, sasha-“

Historia Reiss: She would just let out the biggest groan and just be like “Reaaaaally?” it’s funny. She later try to get you back but she would fumble on her joke and say it wrong. Eventually, she would get frustrated and just go “Man, whatever-“

it was an easy opportunity with Historia, especially now. She was more focused on playing animal crossing than anything else really at the moment.

She was resting comfortably in between your legs, the back of her head just resting against your abdomen as she ran around her virtual island.

“Hisu.” You couldn’t help but start laughing at your girlfriend’s impending doom.

Her hand movements paused slightly to tilt her head up to look at you. “hmm?”

“I heard you had a little crush on Venessa Paradis?” you questioned.

“I- what-?” Historia immediately sat up at the sudden accusation. “who the hell said that? who the fuck is Vanessa?”

“Pair a deez nuts !” You caught her and with that, you suddenly got a pillow to the face.

“REALLY? THAT’S LIKE THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK-“

“YOU SHOULD’VE LEARNED FROM YOUR MISTAKES, DARLING-“

Ymir: Ymir doesn’t even give you the satisfaction of even answering questions. it’s usually gonna be like “If it’s another deez nuts joke, I swear-“ sometimes she will just tease you for the fact you still make those jokes.

Ymir often took you out for lil drives at night, since usually during exam season you both barely get to see each other. Just some light music playing and you both just enjoying each other’s company.

Of course, though during your usual catch-up conversations. You decided to pull another joke on her.

“Connie has been telling me you’ve been into imagine dragons lately? what’s up with that?” you questioned.

Ymir just looked at you, she let her lips press together in a little thin line as she just let the silence grow between you. she just looked at you as if you already knew the answer.

“you know, I’ve laughed at funnier jokes hisu’s niece had told me.” she said, looking back at the road ahead.

“low blow, ymir.”

“blow on deez nuts.”

“YMIR-!”

Pieck Finger: She just kinda looks at you with a lil doe eyes. Sometimes she conflicted between saying “wow, you really said that.” and “wow, that was actually kind of a good one.” isn’t one to ruin your fun but doesn’t mean she can’t judge.

Pieck had just gotten out from her exhausting classes. She wanted nothing more than to just visit you and lay on you, let you just hold her as she napped for a bit of the day.

When she had arrived to your dorm, you could easily see that the day had taken a toll on her energy.

After tossing her bag to the ground, Pieck made her way on over to your side of the dorm room and crawled onto your bed to take her spot on top of you.

“Pieck, my love, darling. move a bit, I’m watching the Yankees vs Expoz game.” You asked, finding a more comfortable position. You would let your hand rest on Pieck’s lower back as your eyes turned back to the small tv you had.

Pieck’s head lifted up to look at the tv, somewhat interested. “Who are the Expoz?”

“EXPOZ DEEZ NUTS.” Without saying, she would just get off of you and go take her nap with her back turned to you.

“I- babe I’m joking-“

“nope- lost your chance.”

Yelena: Yelena doesn’t really care for these kinds of jokes. Sometimes they will just kinda fly over her head or she will just roll her eyes and continue on with what she was saying or doing.

Yelena and you had been getting both getting ready for a small gathering that she wanted to go to. Just her, you and some friends. It was to celebrate for finishing off exam season strong or something like that.

“Do you think this top would look nice with these pants?” she asked, holding up a white and blue stripped button up and some black pants.

“it’s just casual wear, right? then definitely, but make sure you don’t leave it unbuttoned like you usually do. I’m tired of seeing waitress ladies look at you.” You answered. You stepped closer to her, letting your arms wrap around her waist.

“Ah- is that jealousy I hear in your tone, babe?” she asked, her tone teasing as she leaned down to gently press her lips against the corner of your mouth.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s Ligma.”

“Well, whatever it is. I kind of like how it looks on your face.” she whispered against your lips, her hand dropping the button up onto her bathroom counter before letting it hold your jaw.

“I- ahaha- We have a gathering to go to, love.”

“hmm.. we have some time before then.”

Hange Zoë: They finds them absolutely hilarious. Kinda like Sasha, sometimes they will turn the joke onto you. Won’t actively make them but they will catch you sometimes.

You both were at the grocery store. Hange had a always had grown into a habit of forgetting to buy groceries so, when you came over to their house and saw that their fridge was borderline empty- you had to pull them to do some shopping.

“Ah- WHY IS MILK SO EXPENSIVE NOWADAYS?” They would groan out loud as you stayed by the grocery cart.

You watched them come back with a gallon, putting it in the cart with the other produce you both had gathered.

You knew hange didn’t like shopping so, to lighten the mood, you decided to joke around with them a bit.

“Milk is expensive but have you seen the price of fermented succondese?” you asked, leaning on the bar of the cart.

“What the hell is that?”

“SUCK ON DEEZ NUTZ !”

It was always pleasant to see Hange’s face go from surprised to laughing after the joke finally processed through their brain.

“AHAHAHAHA, THAT’S A GOOD ONE, Y/N. HAVE YOU HEARD THE ONE ABOUT GOBLINS THOUGH?”

[retvenkos]

and lastly... ⚡ + anya and/or gleb from anastasia broadway? that piece you wrote lives rent free inside my mind to this day. thank you so so much! 💜

ANYA:

1-3 random headcanons i have about them:

anya has a massive sweet tooth and can and will eat any desert or delicacy you place in front of her at the speed of light. and because she eats it all... she actually has quite a refined palate.

perhaps an extension of the headcanon above, i just know that she enjoys a good wine tasting. she's simply a connoisseur. she can talk about the different qualities and flavors and acidities, and dmitry is just looking at her with heart eyes, not understanding a single word of it. "oh, so true," he responds. anya knows he's hopelessly lost. she laughs and angels sing!!! honestly, now i want a modern au where she runs a winery and gets to be happy.

i think she would lowkey be really good at painting. she would render her memories in a beautiful and ethereal painting that feels like looking through stained glass... yes <3

an au or fanfiction trope i think the character would do well in:

so i know i am a sucker for a good college au, and while i do think the entire anastasia cast would just be *chef's kiss* at a modern! university au,,,,, consider specifying it further, and somehow anya and the rest end up doing a stage play or musical for their college. someone can be an orchestra kid, someone is a techie, someone can be the paint master, and someone can be the disaster lead,,,,, i just think there's so much potential in a story that takes place exclusively during the stress-filled tech week(s) with a liberal use of flashbacks and pre-established tension,,,, there's also just something so very homey about theatre to me, and i feel that from anya.

where they should be taken on a date or relaxing day off:

this is basic, but take her on a walk through town and show her all of the secret gems. the shortcuts, the best diner that no one talks about, that tree in the park that has particular meaning to you, this hideout from the rest of the world that you have hidden in on more occasions than you'd like to admit... it's about noticing the little, quiet things, and all that doesn't exist to anyone else but the two of you.

also,,, take her to a comedy act or standup routine! i think she has the greatest laugh, and you just know she'd get involved with the act, if at all possible, and it would be hilarious, but also tragic when she tells funnier jokes than the actual comedian.

GLEB:

1-3 random headcanons i have about them:

i just know this man is the most restless sleeper you have ever met. he tosses and turns and mumbles angrily in his sleep, and while he doesn't thrash around or throw punches, it's just impossible for anyone to fall asleep when he is in the same room.

i also just know deep in my soul that gleb is incredibly particular about the way his food is cooked, and in a modern au this man better moonlight as a chef or some other culinary artist on top of his secret agent work, because his level of specificity is only okay if he himself can cook impeccably.

also, not to take any of you back to 2017, but in a modern! au, gleb lived for hamilton: the musical and even now, in the year of our lord 2022, he still stands by his adoration and respect. just because you cringe, now, doesn't mean the musical wasn't incredibly influential and neat and cool, actually!!!

an au or fanfiction trope i think the character would do well in:

i highkey want gleb to be part of a low fantasy au. just hear my pitch: he is a disgraced secret agent who now works as a private detective, and he's come to this Really Weird town to do a missing persons case or perhaps a "man left his wife - she doesn't think it was 100% his own will." he is a cynic and thinks that either the missing person is dead or that the man just,,,, left. people do that. but then he starts to notice all of this Peculiarities that Don't Add Up, and when he mentions it to others, it's not that they are all Keeping a Secret, it's that they have No Idea what he is talking about. what do you mean you're seeing things? that's just a tree. literally, there is nothing to worry about. are you sure you're okay? you've only been in this town for one week, sir... and eventually gleb realizes that it's magic???? that there's an entirely separate world out there???? that it exists on this same plane, but somehow no one notices???? as a Cynic and a Practical Man, this can't be,,,,,,

perhaps it's my love for That One Character in low fantasy that is just Exceptionally Confused and In Denial over things. perhaps i just want gleb to be part of the (slight) low fantasy of the animated anastasia film,,,, idk tbh.

where they should be taken on a date or relaxing day off:

bold of you to assume this man relaxes or goes on dates. asdfgjhgfdssdhj, lol, but i think gleb would like something a little upper class, a little educational or just Tasteful™ - so take him to a museum or the opera! i think he'd enjoy the whole "getting dressed up and making a day/night of it" vibe, and after the museum or opera, you can go to a nice restaurant (or his apartment since i've decided he's a culinary master, asdfghgd) and talk over what you saw over a nice dinner.

though if you can't make the outing, just putting on some classical or opera music and having a meal together works too. ooh! double points if you stay at home, because then you can slow dance in the dark to his collection of vinyl records (oh, yeah. in a modern au this man is a vinyl collector).

!!! now i want an allies to lovers, secret agent au with gleb vaganov!!!!!! i just think,,,,, i just think it has the range. the potential. the spice. the flavor. and, of course, all that jazz, asdfghjhgfd.

[dragonsareourfuture]

Death Note as Stand-Up Comedians

Mello

- he’s allowed to complain about Near in front of an auditorium full of people as long as it’s in the form of a joke — of course he loves it.

- He has a lot of passion up on stage. The audience loves it because it makes them feel really immersed into the show.

- Mello has a tendency to get really loud when he gets really into a joke or bit, so the tech crew has gotten used to lowering the volume on his mic as the show progresses and he gets louder and louder.

- Mello has a harsh sense of humor, often using exaggerations and sarcasm to accentuate a point.

- He would tell stories from his time at Wammy’s house, mainly the chaos moments with Matt because the rest is pretty traumatizing for him.

- It’s his style that draws people in and his sense of humor that keeps them there. He has a very unique clothing style and, even when his managers suggested he dress down for the show as to not scare people away, he refused. He said that he would rather show who he is upfront and let the public decide whether or not to invest time in him than fake his personality for people he doesn’t know or give a shit about. They got the hint pretty quickly after that.

- He would sometimes do joined shows with Matt, which is quite interesting. Their dynamic works perfectly on stage and they even weave jokes that weren’t scripted into the show to keep each other on their toes.

Matt

- He’s a pretty chill guy, so I picture his sense of humor as pretty dry. Not in a bad way, of course. For instance, he tends to say the most hilarious things with a straight face and flat tone, which somehow makes the joke even funnier.

- He likes to involve the audience a lot, so gags where he (with permission) takes an audience member’s phone and reads their texts aloud are common. Somehow he can make jokes about the most mundane of text conversations and have the audience howling.

- Like I mentioned earlier, he and Mello’s contrasting senses of humor work for a perfect dynamic when performing, so shows where they’re together are the audience’s favorite. But even though Mello’s wild passion can take the spotlight at times, Matt is never overshadowed as they’re both sure to include the other in any bit or joke they do.

- For no reason at all I think Matt it great at imitations and impressions of different people. So, like when he’s doing a bit and speaking for someone else he can assign voices for everyone and the audience knows who he’s supposed to be speaking as in that moment. Usually these people are only known to him and Mello, so the audience can’t tell how exactly spot on he is. His impression of Near gets Mello wheezing, and his Mello impression gets the audience wheezing with Mello constantly claiming “I don’t sound like that, idiot!” With the audience shouting “YES YOU DO!”

L

- L’s sense of humor tends to require a specific taste, which is why he would probably be one of the least successful of the bunch.

- Don’t get me wrong, his sense of humor is adorable and one of the best aspects of Death Note in my opinion, but it comes in short and random bursts. He’d be talking about something serious and then crack a joke (“yEs tHat mUst Be dArK”), so it requires patience to really get to his sense of humor.

- The audience, I feel, wouldn’t have the patience to stick around and wait for his humor to surface.

- But L would have a cult following of a specific group of people that appreciate his talents.

- I’m picturing a show in which he starts off by talking about some cases, and transition to jokes from there. Due to his occupation, many jokes involve a darker sense of humor but also contain surprisingly innocent little remarks or comments. I can’t really explain it better, it makes sense in my head but I’m not too sure how to put it into words.

- Most of the show he keeps his straight face, but when he gets the audience going from something he said he can’t help but crack a little smile and chuckle into the mic pretty bashfully.

Near

- I’m sorry but Near doesn’t have too much of a sense of humor. But he does do or say some of the most hilarious shit on accident.

- It was actually Halle that convinced him to take up stand up comedy, as she got to spend tons of time just sitting and talking with him, cracking up at something Near said while he just stared at her in confusion.

- She had complete and total confidence that just plopping Near on stage and telling him to “just talk” would get the audience going, so she took him to a bar that did stand up comedy nights. Near absolutely killed it.

- Eventually he learns what the public finds funny through experimentation and tells those kinds of jokes more often, learning to perfect his craft. Through this method he is able to go from ‘accidentally funny’ to ‘intentionally hilarious’.

Light

- I wholeheartedly believe that Light has no sense of humor. Period.

- Sure, he’s accidentally funny sometimes but not enough to fake it ‘til he makes it like Near did.

- So he gets someone else to write his show for him. He’s just a pretty face, and the person who wrote his show is mentioned once or twice but who really cares about them? It’s Light who’s doing all the work, obviously. He’s the one getting sweaty up on stage.

- Honestly he barely has a sense of humor he’s probably just do it as a side thing for recognition or like most youtubers who write a book or start a podcast.

Matsuda

- Okay so, I definitely think that Matsuda would be one of the most successful stand up comedians out of all of them.

- He’s just so bubbly and kind and just genuinely a wonderful person so who could walk out of a show if his unsatisfied? No one. That’s who.

- My mans here has the opportunity to make so many self deprecating jokes due to how the task force treats him and how he’s just overall looked at as inferior to everyone he works with. And guess what? He doesn’t take that opportunity at all. He thinks self worth is the most important thing in the world and instead focuses his jokes around break room stories and observations of every day life.

- However if he ever does make a self deprecating joke, it’s never with any hatred towards himself. Like, he’ll joke about how his recklessness got him in trouble with Yotsuba, but instead of cursing the trait he has, he always expresses his hopes to get better and learn from his mistakes. Meanwhile the audience is dying at how he tells the story with so much energy and just— ...he’s wonderful.

- He just reminds me of John Mulaney when I picture a show of his.

- He’s pretty goofy by nature and you can tell that he’s enjoying himself up on stage, watching him laugh at his own jokes and beam at the audience with a smile so bright it could rival the spotlight shining down on him.

- He also really likes the attention, having been pushed to the side for so long.

- He’s just overall a really nice and positive guy while also being hilarious to listen to. 10/10.

Misa

- With her already existing music career and fashion career, people know her pretty well. Therefore, there is a HOARD of people waiting to see how she fairs at something so different from her previous career paths.

- And y’know what? Misa’s great at it.

- I’d like to imagine she’s out of her terrible relationship with Light in this au and realize how messed up he was, so I think she’d do a lot of clowning Light in her shows.

- She will kinda mix the comedy with valuable life lessons on relationships, so a lot of fans come up to her and thank her because they let their kids watch her shows and they’ve learned so much from her while being entertained for a good hour.

- Also her voice is so cute and pleasant to listen to I would gladly listen to her talk for a week let alone an hour.

- I imagine her style of show and humor to be along the lines of straight up ranting and just talking her heart out. You know that friend that can talk for hours but it’s okay because they make everything, even the most mundane things, sound dramatic and fun and lively? Yeah, that’s her.

[kaistarus]

Drunken Christmas Party Confessions

Pairing: Nishinoya X Reader

Words: 2.2K

Summary: Nishinoya and Tanaka are throwing a Christmas party and maybe he’s had too much ‘hot chocolate’, but you’re really working that ugly sweater.

Notes: This is a college au, so that’s why they have dranks. Thanksgiving is over and it snowed where I live which means it’s officially Christmas. Which means it’s time to write too many Christmas/Winter themed fics.  I don’t make the rules lol

Masterlist

 Nishinoya wasn’t the brightest crayon in the Crayola 64 box sharpener included, but he knew three things for damn sure. When given the option you should never let Shoyo DJ a Christmas party, buying Christmas trees from Amazon is only a good idea if you pay attention to the size chart, and you looked really good in an ugly sweater.

Nishinoya swayed back and forth to the tenth rendition of ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’-apparently the only song Shoyo had on his Christmas playlist-while shamelessly watching you with hooded eyes. You looked so pretty in the ugly reindeer sweater that you’d stolen from his closet ten minutes before this party started. He could practically hear your laugh from across the house as you sling an arm over your stomach, gripping onto Yachi’s shoulder for stability.

He pursed his lips. Yachi’s joke probably wasn’t even that good. Nishinoya was a million times funnier than her for sure.

“Bro, are you even listening?”

“Hah?” Nishinoya rolled his head toward Tanaka who had apparently been talking to him.

How long had he been there?

“I said I think I’m finally going to make a move on Kiyoko,” Tanaka said with a lopsided grin, gazing over Nishinoya’s shoulder where Kiyoko probably was. Nishinoya wrinkled his nose and took a sip of the spiked hot chocolate from his classy red solo cup.

Tanaka must be drunker than he was if he thought this was the first time he was making a move on Kiyoko.

“That sounds super awesome dude.” Nishinoya tuned out Tanaka again, his eyes trailing back to where you were leaning on the false-granite countertop, smiling so wide the corners of your eyes crinkled.

You were so cute. Did you know you were the cutest person to ever exist ever?

“Do you think that’s a good plan?”

“Uh-huh, yeah. For sure.” The corners of Nishinoya’s mouth quirked up when you waved your hands around, your face expressive and your lips moving quickly as you told Yachi a story of some kind. He loved how passionate you got over the littlest things.

“Dude, you’re definitely not listening,” Tanaka was close to Nishinoya’s ear now and if he had his usual reflexes he probably would’ve jumped. “What are you staring at?”

The coolest person in the whole world.

Whoa, he should definitely tell you how awesome you are. You would be so wooed at how profound and suave he was.

Without a word he exited the one-sided conversation with Tanaka, ignoring the offended gasp, and made a wobbly bee-line for the kitchen. He handed off his hot chocolate somewhere along the way to some random party-goer. He was a man on a mission and hadn’t bothered paying attention to who had been the victim.

“....guchi said he tried to pretend it was his brother’s.” Yachi was having a hard time getting through the sentence without laughing, Nishinoya observed once you both were in earshot.

“Why would it be in his closet if it was his brother’s!?” You snorted with another belly aching laugh that made his heart skip.

“That’s what I said!”

“Hello ladies,” Nishinoya slid up against the counter opposite you and Yachi and definitely didn’t miss the ledge with his elbow his first try. That would have been embarrassing.

Yachi’s hand covered her mouth and her body shook lightly. How dare she laugh at his epic moves.

“Hello Noya,” you smiled at him in the way that made his heart feel all funny. Like, when he made a really good receive that made adrenaline course through his veins except he was also wrapped in fluffy blankets on a cotton candy cloud.

He gave you a finger gun and closed one eye in an attempted wink, “I thought this was an ugly sweater party. Not an… uh…” He squinted at the tray of desserts behind you. “Good looking sweater party?”

You blinked at him, not saying a word due to what he assumed was how stunningly swept-off-your-feet you were while Yachi glanced between the both of you adorning a sly smile.

“I’m going to go,” Yachi pointed toward the living room where Nishinoya and Tanaka had placed their pathetic miniature plastic tree. “Talk to you guys later.” She winked at you when she left and Nishinoya felt like he should analyze that one, but he was not up for critical thinking.

“So,” you gave him a once-over which made him smile dopily back at you. “You look like you’ve had a good night.”

“I cannot remember the alphabet.” Nishinoya said confidently, giving you two thumbs up. Another rendition of ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ began playing and Nishinoya whipped his head toward the living room where Shoyo was standing conspicuously near the speaker. “Shoyo, I swear to god!”

“It’s a Christmas classic!” He shouted back, getting in a defensive stance in front of the speaker. “I’ll play it as many times as I want.”

“Not in my house you son of a-” Nishinoya began climbing over the counter for the quickest route to fight the orange-haired punk when you reached out and grabbed his wrist. He looked down at your amused smile with wide eyes.

“Let’s go outside.”

“But it’s snowing,” Nishinoya pointed out the obvious before his slow to process brain realized he’d be alone with you. He nearly fell on his face hopping off the counter. “Outside it is.”

Nishinoya had you walk in front of him to the front door, like he assumed a gentleman would, and behind your back he gave Hinata an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture. Hinata stuck his tongue out and it took every bit of self-control Nishinoya had left to not go over there and teach him why he shouldn’t disrespect his elders.

“Here,” you were offering him his red winter jacket by the time he turned around, already having put yours on. His heart warmed that you had remembered what his coat looked like-ignore you two walked to class together multiple times a week. He still knew you were the smartest and nicest and coolest person ever for bothering to remember that detail about him.

He flung his coat on and trailed after you into the winter night. A shiver racked his body at the drastic temperature change when he stepped onto his snow dusted porch, the white fluff falling lightly from the sky.

Nishinoya loved snowy nights. More specifically he loved how the sky was lighter than it should be, a shade of pink that only seemed to exist during a quiet snowy evening where the snow was sparkling and untouched. Before it became disgustingly dirty from cars on the streets or crushed by people’s footsteps as they walked across campus to classes they dreaded.

He was also a sucker for throwing snowballs at an unsuspecting Tanaka, but that was a separate story.

He had zoned out so hard he hadn’t noticed you brushing off the front step of his porch, clearing off a place for you both to sit. You patted the space beside you and without thought he was already down.

“It’s pretty,” you admired, looking out toward the freshly covered lawn.

“Yeah,” Nishinoya said, focusing on you. Even with the porches overhang the snowfall’s slight angle caused snowflakes to collect on your hair and jacket. He wanted to reach out and touch one, but clenched his fists instead.

You glanced over and caught his blatant staring, but he was too at peace to be embarrassed. He just enjoyed looking at you, especially when your nose and cheeks were painted red from the winter’s cold. Or maybe you were blushing. Maybe you were as affected by his presence as he was yours.

That would be nice.

“I’m happy,” Nishinoya proclaimed, glancing out towards his untouched lawn. He should build a snowman… What was that little thing from that Disney movie? Sven? No that’s not it. He should build that though. That would be sick.

“I’m glad,” your voice came out barely above a whisper and oh yeah he was in the middle of something important. He felt his heart do the skipping thing again that only happened around you. He wondered if you knew the effect you had on him.

Nishinoya gave you a lopsided smile, “I like being with you.” He leaned back on the porch with the support of his hands. “But you make my chest feel funny.”

“Funny?”

“Yeah,” he rubbed his coat over where his heart was currently beating sporadically against his rib cage. “Like, when I do a good Rolling Thunder.”

“I make you feel like Rolling Thunder?”

“No, that doesn’t...” Nishinoya put a hand on his forehead. That wasn’t right at all. He tried to reach past the thick layer of fog in his mind for the right words, but it was too dense. “It’s like… when you’re sick, but then someone makes warm soup and after you eat it you don’t want to vomit anymore!”

You just stared at him which led him to believe he didn’t explain it well.

“Okay… how about when you go to McDonalds in the summer thinking the ice cream machine is broken, but it’s not!” He threw his hands up, excitedly. “So, you thought you were going to suffer, but you end up getting a sundae.”

You were still looking at him with a brow raised and this was turning out to not be his night.

“Um… Oh oh oh! it’s like when you really have to poop and you think somebody else is in the bathroom, but it turns out there’s not! That relief you feel when you finally get to just let it-”

“Okay,” you put a hand over his mouth and his eyes lit up with elation. Hell yeah, he did it. He was fucking shakespeare. A true poet. English classes would be studying this moment for centuries to come. “I have no clue what you’re trying to say.”

“What?” He pulled your hand off his mouth. “How?”

“You just told me I feel like a poop.”

“No, you feel like the relief during the poop, not the poop itself!” He rolled his eyes. It seriously wasn’t a hard concept to grasp.

You blinked several times before your eyes slowly widened in realization. “Are you trying to tell me you like me?” Then a hand flew to your forehead. “Through poop metaphors?”

“There were several metaphors actually but-”

You punched him in the shoulder and he rubbed it with a whine. He had never confessed feelings before, but that probably wasn’t a desired reaction.

“You can’t just do that while you’re drunk, you asshole.”

“Wow, name calling seems a little uncalled for don’t you-”

“I can’t kiss you when you’re drunk.” You let out a frustrated groan and buried your face in your hands. “I can’t even fully trust that you mean it.”

Nishinoya’s jaw went slack. His brain was half functioning, but kissing definitely sounded like good times. Wait, what was that last part? Trusting him for, huh?

“I don’t lie,” he tilted his head slightly confused. “I don’t care if you don’t like me back, but I would never make something like this up to hurt you.”

You peeked up at him wearily, which still made his heart drop a little, but when you nodded he felt better. All that mattered was you trusted him. He didn’t care about much else in the moment. Although that kissing comment had not been overlooked.

“I also…” Your face turned a deeper shade of red than the snowy weather had allowed and Nishinoya definitely settled on you blushing. “Don’t not like you.”

Double negatives was a trip for someone who’s brain wasn’t at full capacity, but he worked it out. He beamed at you and bounced lightly in his seat on the porch step you both resided on. He could easily work with that. More than work with that it was everything he’d wanted.

“We should probably do something about it then,” he suggested, his smile softening as he gazed at you through hooded eyes. “I have a feeling I’ll be hungover tomorrow.”

You cocked your head to the side, clearly confused at his topic change. “A genius observation, yes.”

“We should go get a hangover brunch since I’ll wake up miserable at noon,” he propped himself up by placing his cheek in his palm. “Hangover days are always best when you spend them with your favorite people.”

The corners of your mouth quirked up into a smile as you reached over, brushing some snow out of his hair and lightly trailing your knuckles down his cheeks. “Yeah, sounds like a date.”

Nishinoya hummed in agreement, wanting to do little now beside exist with you and watch the snow as it fell from the midnight sky. He was exhausted. His brain had done way too much work that night and he needed to lay down.

He peeked back over toward you, adorning a content smile on your lips and he sighed deeply.

Nishinoya had never been the brightest volleyball in the basket, but he knew three things for damn sure. After watching a movie over fifteen times he apparently was still incapable of naming the main cast, alcoholic hot chocolate was his new best friend, and he liked you.

He really really liked you.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Social Media AU - Richie Tozier comes out during a show

I decided that this AU works better with a written headcanon to go with it, and so I’ve included it underneath the cut. It’s a little rough because it’s been a LONG time since I sat down and properly wrote something, but I tried!

Enjoy!

Holy shit.

He couldn’t believe he’d done that.

Jesus fucking Christ.

His manager was talking shit in his ear, prowling after him like fuck knows what, talking about “there’ll be backlash for this” and “not part of the plan”, and even “you’ve ruined your whole fucking career”. The usual stuff, really. Richie couldn’t bring himself to give a shit though, not right now. His heart was pounding ridiculously loud in his chest, blood rushing through him and making him feel dizzy – adrenaline mostly, but also some anxiety too.

Somehow he found himself in his backstage dressing room, manager still nagging him and furiously demanding answers. Pull it together, Tozier, pull it together.

“What in God’s name were you thinking?!” Brad hissed, slamming his hand down on the dressing table; the bottle of water next to the mirror topped slightly from the force of it. “This is a PR nightmare!”

“I don’t give a shit,” Richie said simply, giving a shrug. “What can I say, man? Gotta be true to myself.”

A vein seemed to throb in his manager’s forehead. “You just announced that you’re gay in front of hundreds of people, Richie, most of whom are within the demographic that are the least accepting of homosexuality! You think you’re the first gay person to be in this position? Because you’re fucking not, okay, there’s a reason PR is a thing! Your image is going to be ruined within just a few short hours of all of this!”

“So you want me to lie about it?” Richie snapped. “I’m done lying, okay? I’m done with the dumb girlfriend jokes, I’m done with the misogynistic shit that I’m having to recite, I’m fucking done! I shouldn’t be ashamed about this, it’s 2017 for fuck sake!”

“Alright, sure, it’s a more accepting time, but your fan base...in case it escaped your notice, you have a certain demographic, and it’s not ‘woke’ gay people. The people who came to your show tonight wanted to see the Richie Tozier they know and love, they wanted those jokes and that humor - not your life story and an impromptu coming out!”

“Well, tough shit to them - like I said, if I’m doing these shows, I’ll do it with my own jokes, not hiding who I am anymore.”

“Richie, it’s not that simple-”

There was a knock on the still-open door; a stagehand gawked at them, a little nervously, before clearing her throat. “Um… I’m sorry to interrupt, I… Well… These guests have VIP passes, and they wanted to see Rich- I mean, Mr Tozier right away.”

Behind her, Richie could see the rest of the Losers Club waiting awkwardly, clearly trying not to look at him or his manager. He cleared his throat and gave what he hoped was an at least somewhat polite nod. “Yeah, they’re friends of mine. Thank you. Brad,” He turned to his manager and gave him a meaningful look. “Some privacy please?”

Brad straightened his blazer but nodded too. “Of course. I have...things to try and fix. We’ll discuss this later, Richie.”

He waited until both the stagehand and his manager were out of earshot before gesturing for his friends to come into the dressing room; all of them looked nervous, clearly trying to pretend that they hadn’t overheard the argument, but he couldn’t bring himself to mind - he was just so glad to see them all right now.

“So…” He said, closing the door behind them and trying to look like he was holding it together. “What- What did you think?”

“You were great, Richie,” Bill said sincerely - and that seemed to make the others more comfortable too, judging by how they all started to smile and rush to embrace him.

“You did a wonderful job, Richie,” Beverly told him, giving him a squeeze and beaming at him. “You had us all laughing the entire show.”

Ben was grinning widely. “Far funnier than any of your old material, that’s for sure.”

“You were actually funny,” Stan said, though he was smiling fondly. “Never thought I’d say that, Trashmouth, but it’s true - if only you were that funny when we were kids.”

“Ha, fuck you too, Stan Urine,” Richie joked, but he was unable to stop himself from exhaling in relief. “I’m glad you all enjoyed the show - was kinda worried it wouldn’t get the same laughs as my old stuff.”

“Your old stuff was fake,” Mike brushed off, giving him a kind smile. “We could see it was really you up there, being yourself.”

Richie felt a little dazed by all the attention; he was briefly aware of Bill and Mike both patting him on the back, of Stan and Patty sharing a small laugh as they recounted something he’d said during the show, Audra congratulating him and saying how happy she was to finally meet all of her husband’s friends, Ben grinning widely, Beverly holding his arm and stating that she was so proud-

Eddie.

Fuck.

“Has anyone seen Eddie?” He blurted out, unable to stop himself. Everyone else fell into silence. “Oh shit. Fucking shit-”

“He just went out for some air,” Beverly said quickly, though she looked uncertain. “I think it’s just...a lot for him.”

“I gotta go find him,” Richie muttered, immediately heading for the door. “Fucking fuck...”

Ben’s arm stopped him before he could touch the handle. “Rich, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

“No, I need to apologize to him, I need to explain-”

“Richie,” Bill said quietly. “You just said you’ve been in love with him since we were kids, in front of hundreds of people. Everyone will know by tomorrow, even if they weren’t at tonight’s show. It’s a lot for him to take in.”

Something anxious and vile reared up in Richie’s chest, making him feel like it was difficult to breathe. “I’ve fucked up. I’ve fucked this up, oh fuck...I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Richie-”

“It’s okay, Richie, don’t panic-”

“Shit, what’s he gonna think?! Fuck, I’ve ruined our whole friendship, what the fuck is wrong with me?!”

“You haven’t fucked anything up, Richie.”

“Rich, please just breathe, okay?”

He was only somewhat aware of Beverly’s hand in his arm, gently pulling him over to the nearby chair and sitting him down. “Richie, honey, have some water and just focus on breathing, okay?”

Knowing he had no choice in the matter, he took a gulp from the water bottle she passed him, focusing on her voice and doing his best to push his fears away. Tonight was supposed to have been the opposite of this - he was supposed to be brave, to stand tall, to not be ashamed of who he was. Instead he was terrified, filled with regret and uncertainty.

A part of him was briefly aware of someone (Bill, he figured) saying they were going to find Eddie before stepping out of the room. A minute or so later, he noticed the others starting to filter out of his dressing room, muttering that they were going to give him some space to breathe and not overcrowd him - they’d wait for him outside. He could only hope that security had managed to get any fans waiting out back to go away - normally he didn’t mind signing autographs or saying hello to people, but after tonight’s show...no. He couldn’t.

You’ve really fucked this up, Tozier.

---

Beverly walked with him as they left, her presence welcome and calming; she didn’t speak, and he was grateful for that - he just knew that she understood, that she was on his side no matter what was to come. Then again, he was sure all the Losers would be there for him no matter what - they were like a family, he sometimes thought, a family of misfits and nobodies that found each other, found a group where they could be themselves.

Fuck, he loved his friends so much.

“You want me to drive?” Beverly asked finally when they reached the car park, looking around; the others were nearby, crowded together and talking amongst themselves. “Or do you have a limo these days, Mr Comedian?”

“Hilarious,” He said dryly. “No, but I have a driver sometimes. I can call him and tell him to head home for the night though.” 

They had nearly reached the others before Richie realized that all of his friends were there.

Eddie was there.

His throat closed up. No, no, he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t-

“Eds,” Beverly said softly, giving him a kind smile.

Eddie gave a small nod, hands in his pockets and suddenly looking awkward. “Yeah… Erm… Hi, Richie.”

Everyone was silent. The tension was thick enough to be cut with a knife as they all debated what to do, none of them clearly sure of what to say in this situation. Richie tried to meet Eddie’s eye, only to find the other man staring at the floor resolutely; anxiety and worry gnawed at Richie’s insides at the sight. 

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime of awkwardness, Mike cleared his throat and looked around at everyone. “How about we go grab a drink?” He prompted. “You know, to celebrate.”

“Sounds like a good idea, Mikey,” Bill sighed with relief, quickly glancing at Richie and Eddie. 

“We’re all booked in the same hotel, right?” Beverly decided quickly, not waiting for an answer before continuing. “How about we go for a drink at the bar? That way none of us need to worry about driving or trying to find our way home.”

The others murmured in agreement, though it was clear that things were still awkward. As they started to make their way out of the car park, Stan and Bill navigating and leading the way, Richie noticed Beverly’s hand leave his arm; before he could question her, however, he found himself face-to-face with Eddie - immediately his throat felt dry, voice mysteriously gone for once in his life.

“Richie.” Eddie’s expression was hard to read; he didn’t seem angry but he didn’t seem happy or pleased either, just...carefully neutral. “Look, we need to… We need to talk.”

“Yeah,” Richie managed. “I guess so.”

Eddie hesitated for a second or two before turning to call to the others over his shoulder. “We’ll meet you guys there.”

None of the other Losers commented on this; instead, Bill merely nodded and gestured in the direction that they were heading. “Sure. Take your time.”

As soon as their friends were far away enough not to overhear, Eddie looked at Richie pointedly. “Is there somewhere private we can go or…?”

“Err… Dressing rooms might still be open?” 

“And we won’t be overheard?”

“No. I have a private dressing room, dude.”

Eddie rolled his eyes at this but gestured back towards the theatre. “Alright, fine. Lead the way, Trashmouth.”

Weirdly enough, the nickname made him feel more comfortable - it was almost like nothing had changed, like he didn’t just admit in front of hundreds of people that he was in love with this man, like he didn’t admit it in front of said man. For a moment, Richie allowed himself to think that everything would be fine; they’d talk it out, maybe be able to laugh it off, and it would be good. Not great, to be honest, but better than this hiding and lying.

---

Thankfully security had allowed him to go back to his dressing room, under the guise that he had “forgotten” something, and they didn’t ask about Eddie accompanying him - awkward questions would have made it much more humiliating for all parties involved, he thought. Richie wasted no time in opening the dressing room door to let Eddie in before closing and locking it for good measure, just to be sure that they wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Here, urgh… You take the chair, I can sit on the table,” He offered.

“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie brushed off, crossing his arms and suddenly avoiding his eye. “I’m kinda too nervous to sit.”

“Oh. Thank fuck, me too.”

He noticed Eddie’s lips quirk upwards, as if he was trying not to let himself smile - that was definitely a good sign. He waited for the other man to speak first, partly to be fair but also because, frankly, he had no idea what to say.

“So… Congrats on coming out?” Eddie finally offered - and then they both burst into laughter. “Fuck, that sounds so dumb.”

“Yeah, but it’s kinda cute,” Richie chuckled before he could stop himself - and then he froze up again. “I mean… I don’t mean…”

Eddie seemed to realize what he meant and his smile faded. “Right. That.”

“I’m so fucking sorry,” Richie said quickly. “I should have told you in private or something, not on a fucking stage in a stand-up routine. I mean, I was going to imply that I’m gay as fuck, that was planned, but I wasn’t going to just put it out there like that, it just happened. And shit, I wasn’t even intending on saying all that about you, but I saw you sitting in the front row and… Jesus, Eddie, I just saw you laughing and I-”

“Richie,” Eddie interrupted, and the other man fell silent. “Look, man, this is all… Okay. Alright.” He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before speaking again. “What you said during the show about me…about how you feel...you meant it.”

Richie swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah, I meant it.”

“Since we were kids?” Eddie continued, waiting for the other man to nod. “Okay… Richie, I swear to God, if this is some practical fucking joke or whatever - something for you to get laughs or make fun of me or whatever dumb shit goes through your head - then I will punch you in the face right fucking now.”

“What? No, no this isn’t a fucking joke!” Richie retorted, almost offended by this accusation. “You think I would say all that shit on-stage in front of hundreds of fucking people just for a joke?! Fuck off.”

“Okay, okay, I know, I’m sorry, I just… It’s a lot to take in,” Eddie muttered. When his friend didn’t say anything, he cast a look at him, seeming to study his face, before sighing. “Rich, I’m not about to turn around and start screaming slurs at you just because you had a crush on me.”

“I didn’t-”

“I can see it on your face, dumbass. Richie,” He leaned over and put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re my friend - one of my best friends, actually. Nothing you say could make me hate you...well, not anymore than I do already.”

Richie gave a small, pained laugh, though the relief was evident on his face. “Right. Yeah. Thanks, Eds.”

For a long moment that seemed to stretch on for a lifetime, neither of them said anything else; Eddie’s hand remained on Richie’s shoulder, the taller man just looking at him gratefully. There was still a nagging feeling within him, something eating up at his insides and wondering if Eddie was just hiding any anger or disgust, maybe he just didn’t want to ruin a good night; they still hadn’t really addressed the whole “hey, I’m in love with my best friend Eddie” thing either, that could be awkward-

“Me too.”

Richie blinked. “What?”

Eddie’s hand fell away, and he merely just shrugged as he looked away from Richie. “Me too. I’m...I’m gay.”

“Oh. Oh. Eddie…”

“During the divorce proceedings with Myra, I...I started to think,” He continued, almost to himself. “Actually, it was before that, before I even left Derry. I would hate myself, you know, for every time I looked at a cute guy too long, every time I thought they were handsome in their best clothes or whatever. I’d push it away because I’d think it was not okay, that I was being disgusting or dirty or…”

Richie was stunned by this, suddenly at a loss for words. “Dirty? Come on, dude, you’re like the cleanest asshole I know - there’s not a microbe of dirt or whatever the fuck on you.”

“Hilarious. Really.” But Eddie wasn’t smiling. “Look, ever since the day we...we defeated IT, I’ve thought about it. I have. I thought about you helping me out before that fucking nightmare of a house collapsed, thought about you dragging my ass to hospital and demanding I get immediate attention, about how brave you were that day. After that I decided that I wanted to be brave too - you made me want to be brave and stand up for myself.” He paused. “That sounds cheesey as fuck, I know, but it’s true. And tonight, when you were telling your own jokes, stuff you’d written and worked hard on, I realized it again - that I want to be brave. I don’t want to be scared to admit it.”

“Really?”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah. But there’s something else, Rich...the only person I told before now is Bev, and that’s because she guessed, you know? She could tell, but I also knew she’d listen and not judge.” He took a deep breath. “When I was in the hospital, every time I woke up, you were there - you refused to leave me. The others would be there too, usually taking turns, but you didn’t do that - you were always there. And before that, when we were stuck in that fucking thing’s lair, I saw you…” His voice failed for a moment, and he hurriedly looked away. “Fuck, Richie, you were under the deadlights and I...I thought I was going to lose you. I couldn’t bear it, Rich - I just couldn’t. I had to do something, I had to save you even if it meant putting myself in danger.”

“Well…” Richie wasn’t sure what to say - this wasn’t how he imagined this conversation going at all. “It worked. I’m not dead.”

“No, I know. But do you get what I’m trying to say, Richie?” Eddie asked anxiously. “Why I’m telling you all this?” 

“I dunno, man,” Richie said dazedly, trying not to get his hopes up - he couldn’t, he couldn’t let himself think one thing and be brought down when it was not true, not if he could help it. “This whole night has been a clusterfuck for me, and I’m not entirely convinced I’m not high and hallucinating right now.”

It wasn’t true - he hadn’t been high in nearly five years, and he’d given up excessive drinking after reuniting with the Losers. He knew Eddie knew that already, but it was the first excuse he found himself latching onto.

“Jesus Christ, Richie.” The smaller man rolled his eyes but remained otherwise serious. “I’m trying to say that I’ve...I’ve liked you since we were kids too. Loved you, actually. God knows why since you’re an idiot who annoys the shit out of me, but damn it, I love you, Richie Tozier.”

“…Fuck.”

“I was never going to tell you,” Eddie admitted, folding his arms and looking rather uncomfortable. “Even though I decided I was going to try to be brave, that I wasn’t going to keep up with a sham of a marriage, I thought that you weren’t…you know. And I thought that even if you were, then I’d be the last one you’d want to be with.” Strangely, he gave a smile. “Fucking dumb, right?”

Richie nodded. “Very fucking dumb. Jesus, Eddie, do you not see the way I’ve been looking at you? Fuck, there’s been days you’ve given me boners in public just because I was thinking about you.”

“Urgh, too much information, asshole,” Eddie huffed – but the affection behind it was obvious, his facial expression softening. “So…where does this leave us, Richie? What happens next?”

“Next?” Richie considered this. “Well, being honest, I’d love to take you out and do this shit properly, but…”

“But?”

He hesitated, giving the other man a surprisingly serious look. “But that’s your choice – if you wanna stay friends, I respect that.”

To his surprise, Eddie huffed before stepping forwards; before Richie could say anything else, he was being kissed firmly on the mouth, hands cupping his face and pulling him close. He wasted no time in closing his eyes and kissing him back, his heart soaring as his entire body came alive.

For the first time all night, the panic and anxiety that had set him on edge flowed away completely: all he felt was exhilaration and relief – and love, love for this man in his arms. Suddenly it didn’t matter about what anyone else thought – whether ‘fans’ would send him hate online, how this could impact his entire career, his manager hounding him with how much he’d regret this – because none of it was important, not as important as this, as finally being able to hold the person he loved, who he’d always loved, and being able to be open with himself as well as those closest to him.

Yeah, Richie thought to himself blissfully, he didn’t regret his decision in the slightest.

[horansqueen]

New Angel - Chapter 8

story masterlist [x]

chapter 1  ☆ chapter 2  ☆ chapter 3  ☆ chapter 4  ☆ chapter 5  ☆ chapter 6  ☆ chapter 7

NOTES

☆ written from Niall’s pov ☆ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ☆ AU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ☆ 2.7k ☆ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! ☆ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

NIALL

"Your friends are nice."

I turned my head to look at Summer, laying next to me and my lips curled slightly on the left. Despite what happened between Millie and Louis, we still had a lot of fun together. It was something that always impressed me when it came to Millie and I had just realized it at that moment. I thought she was someone who didn't care much about anything but the truth was, she was just extremely good at hiding it. It was in the tone of her voice, in the fraction of a second when she hesitated, in the quick glances she'd send and in the way she played with the mood ring on her middle finger. I had never noticed that before, and I wondered if it was because I never cared to look or just because it never happened. Millie and Louis used to be happy together, even if they were not officially a couple, but in the span of a few weeks, everything had changed and somehow, it reminded me of my own relationship with Grace.

I thought it would last forever and reality had hit me so hard. I could see all the reactions and feelings I had been through in the weeks after Grace left through Millie's eyes, even if she was clearly better than me at hiding it. I knew I was probably the only one who noticed it but it didn't matter. I knew, and even if I wanted to take that pain away from her, I knew it was impossible, or at least, I had no idea how.

"Yea, they're great." I admitted with a fond smile. "I don't know what I'd do without them."

I turned on my side to face Summer who had her arms crossed on her chest, her naked breasts hidden by the sheets of my bed. I held my head with my hand, my upper arm against the mattress and sighed low. It was amazing to have someone to have sex with, and also someone who would just lay in bed with me for a while. We never really talked about anything deep or serious, but Summer was funny and sweet and it's definitely what I needed. I had been in the same relationship for a while and now I just wanted to have fun. I knew I wouldn't be able to get into a new romantic relationship before I'd stop thinking about Grace multiple times a day, or before I compared everything to her, or wondered what she would have said or how things would be if I was with her instead. I also knew it would take time, because that's what everyone says, right? Healing takes time.

"And what would you do without me?" she asked, her lips curling right before mine did too.

"Use my hand. And it would be a shame!" I joked, making her chuckle.

"A shame uh?"

"Oh yea," I insisted, shaking my head slightly and bringing my hand to the sheets, pulling on them a bit, trying to expose her. "Because that body is incredible darling."

She brought her shoulders up and closer to her face holding the sheets up. I gave up and chuckled again but when I realized how uncomfortable she was, I lost my smile.

"Sorry, I didn't want to upset you."

"No no, it's alright." she pointed out in a soft tone, sending me a fake smile. "So, Niall, tell me about your ex girlfriend."

My eyebrows raised up and I moved my head back slightly as my eyes left hers. I was surprised by her question, it was really something I didn't expect and I was not sure talking about my ex girlfriend with my current fuck buddy was a good idea.

"Uhm, there's not much to say." I admitted, bringing my hand up to scratch the back of my head. "I mean, I guess everything started very quickly between us. Sparkles and all that. And when it stopped, I didn't expect it at all."

"How is she like?"

"Pretty. Smart. She knows what she wants and what she's worth. Cheeky." I enumerated, making me realize that perhaps, Millie was right about my 'type' of girl. "She.. liked to be the center of attention. She's the kind of girl who needs all the eyes on her when she enters a room. And she gets what she wants."

"Okay, so, she's pretty much my opposite."

I thought she'd laugh but I finally looked down at Summer and I could see worries in her eyes. I knew that talking about Grace was a bad idea, and I didn't want Summer to compare herself to hers, even if secretly, I did it, too.

"Why do you say it like it's a bad thing?" I asked gently, making her raise her eyebrows. "It's not a competition, you know. She's not here. You are."

Her eyes ran on my face quickly and she finally sent me a small smile and nodded.

"Do you think you're ready to meet my friends now?"

I smiled more, happy that she decided to talk about something else, and slowly nodded. "Yea, why not?"

Her face illuminated and she licked her lips. "Great! So, tomorrow, 6pm, my place?"

"Alright." I bent down and kissed her lips gently. "What are we gonna tell them? I mean, did you tell them we were just friends or... did we also tell them we have sex?"

"No, I just... I said we were friends."

I was surprised her friends didn't ask more questions. After all, we had met in a bar, she had sent one of them my phone number and my address and we had ended up at my apartment. This isn't really how you make new friends. Still, Summer had mentioned she was not the kind of girl who had sex on the first night and her friends probably knew that.

Anyway, I didn't want to rush things and it was better this way. If Summer didn't want to tell her friend she was in a friends with benefits relationship with me, it was her business. Besides, we had made it clear we were not exclusive, which meant there was definitely no strings attached, at least for now.

"Okay, that works for me."

-----

When I got at Summer's apartment and walked in, I heard laughs coming from afar. We walked towards them and I couldn't help but let my eyes travel on Summer. Her hair was down, for once, slightly wavy and falling on her back. She was wearing a simple tank top and a pair of blue jeans but it made me want to get on top of her immediately.

"Okay so everyone, this is Niall." Summer said shyly, standing next to me. "Niall, this is Meredith, Kate, Lena and Andrew."

They all got up and walked closer to kiss my cheeks and we finally sat at the table together. Dinner went by really fast and we laughed all together. Meredith and Lena were funny and talkative, and reminded me a lot of Summer. I didn't know how to react to Kate's way with me, though. She was looking at me in a weird way and I could swear that at some point, I felt one of her foot slide on my leg under the table. I quickly brought my leg away but it's the small smile she sent me right after that made me feel bad. I knew Summer had mentioned we were just friends, but to have one of her friends flirt with me that way seemed uncalled for and I was not sure how to react. Andrew seemed to study me a lot and for some reason, I felt like he was trying to be funnier and more interesting than I was and I felt completely stupid when, after a few hours, I noticed how he was looking at Summer.

I thought about what had happened between Louis and Millie the day before and realized that tonight was just as awkward, if not more. We finally sat together in the living room with a glass of wine and I realized most of them were getting tipsy, which probably was not the best idea.

"Okay so Niall, d'you work?"

"Uhm, yea. I'm a cook, actually. Part time." I nodded, shrugging a shoulder. "And I give guitar lessons."

"Oh really? I was just thinking I wanted to learn an instrument."

My eyes found Kate's and I raised my eyebrows, not answering her smile. I knew she was important for Summer and that she thought we were only friends, but I didn't like the way she was talking to me and I was certainly not going to flirt back with her.

"I already have enough students for now, sorry."

I glanced at Summer who sighed low as a smile spread on her face and I knew my answer was the right one. I was not going to be impolite but at the same time, there was no way I would encourage her.

"Kate, you're annoying." Lena pointed out, rolling her eyes at her. "Can't you see he's not into you? Why do you always do that?"

"Mind your business, Len." she replied, her eyes never leaving me.

"Okay, enough, we're leaving. It's late." Meredith added, getting up quickly.

It took a few minutes or so of argumentation but Kate finally agreed to leave with the rest of them. They said their goodbyes and I tried not to react when her hand slid down my back slowly. I let out a sigh of relief when the door closed behind them and felt Summer's hand on my arm before turning my head her way.

"I'm so sorry about Kate." she apologized in a soft and guilty tone. "She really loves attention. Especially from men."

My eyes roamed on her face and I once again thought about Grace. I didn't mention it, obviously, but I knew Summer was thinking about the description I gave her of my ex girlfriend too and finally, I just licked my lips and shook my head.

"Not your fault, don't apologize."

She took a step closer and tilted her head before pressing her lips together. Her eyes dropped to my chest and she brought her hands against it, sliding them down a bit before gripping my shirt.

"Do you want to see my room again?"

I held my breath as I stared at her and my lips parted slightly. I wanted her, I really did, and it took everything out of me to let out the words I wanted to say.

"It's late, I should leave, too." I admitted in a whisper, making her pout. "Rain check?"

"You could stay the night, maybe?" she proposed, getting on her tiptoe.

I swallowed hard now that her lips were close to mine and blinked a few times. "You're being unfair right now, you know the puppy eyes are very hard to resist."

"That's the whole point."

I kept looking at her but my thoughts were back at home. Maybe Louis and Millie were together at the moment, or maybe Millie was sad and alone. Maybe Louis was gone or maybe he told her it was over between them. I couldn't help the thoughts running in my head and I didn't want to leave Millie to deal with it by herself, and if Louis hadn't talked to her yet, I wanted to knock at his door and remind him that he should do it as soon as possible. I couldn't stay and if I wanted to be honest with myself, I didn't want to stay either. I wanted to be there for my friends they way they had been there for me.

"I can't babe, I'm sorry." I repeated in a soft tone, grabbing her hands in mine and squeezing her fingers. "I'll text you tomorrow though, alright?"

When I walked back in my apartment, I heard yells coming from behind a door and sighed low, glad that I decided to come back. I knew it was none of my business but at the same time, I couldn't just pretend it didn't affect me. So many things were left unsaid between these two but even if I was happy they were finally sharing their thoughts, I would have hoped it would have been calmly with a drink or something like that. It was stupid of me to have expected something like that, though, knowing that both my friends had explosive and strong personalities.

I let my keys fall on the coffee table and walked slowly to the hall, leaning against the wall right in front of Louis' door.

"Really Louis? Really? You're serious?" Millie seemed angrier than I had ever heard her and I leaned my head against the wall.

"What now?" Louis yelled back. "What the fuck did you fucking expect Millie? That this stupid thing was gonna last forever?"

"Stupid? No you are stupid Louis Tomlinson!" she screamed again, her voice cracking slightly. I was sure Louis didn't notice, but I did. "What we have matters! It's important ok!"

"What we had, Millie! It's over!"

"Why? Because you found some new bitch that you wanna shag? Shag her as long as you want and then come back! What we have is stronger than just a fucking lust story!"

"Oh Mill..." I whispered very low, closing my eyes and shaking my head lightly.

"She's not just some girl okay! I... I have feelings for her!"

Silence. I waited a few more seconds and opened my eyes again, moving my head back to look at the door. I almost expected Millie to storm out but she didn't and I waited for what seemed like half an hour. All I could hear was the thumping of my heart in my chest.

"I thought you loved me." Millie let out softly. "You said you loved me..."

"I do Millie, I love you. You're my best friend. But I'm not in love with you." Louis explained, making me let out a low curse word. That must have hurt Millie so bad I had to swallow hard as it reminded me of my own pain. "Please, Millie."

"Don't touch me!"

"Come on, Millie, I don't want to lose you." Louis confessed, making my grimace and groan low. It was such a hurtful thing to say to someone you just broke the heart to, and I wanted to open the door and force Millie out so she wouldn't have to hear any more of his painful words.

"You should have thought about that before."

I held my breath and got back on my feet, my back straight, when the door opened. Millie came face to face with me, her eyes red but her head high and I was fucking impressed by her strength. We stared at each other for a while until Louis appeared behind her, holding the door, his eyes moving from me to Millie and then back to me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me with a frown.

"I live here."

"Right here? In the hall?" Louis let out sarcastically.

I decided it was useless to answer and just looked back at him. I knew he was somehow right and that I probably shouldn't have listened to their fight but it's not like I wouldn't have been able to hear it from my room anyway.

"Okay, I'm going to bed." Millie let out rudely, throwing one of her hands up and shaking her head. Her voice became softer when her eyes met mine, though. "Good night, Niall."

"Good night, Mill." I replied gently, searching for her fingers and squeezing them.

She didn't look at me but walked past me and my eyes found Louis again. We glared at each other until we heard Millie's door close roughly and Louis finally sighed loud.

"I told her." he pointed out in an angry tone as if I didn't already know. "Happy now?"

I knew he was mad at me and I didn't really care. I still thought it was the right thing to do and I would never think otherwise.

"Very."

[recurring-polynya]

I have to say I knew that at one point renji, ikkaku, yumichika and iba were in the same squad with kenpachi but good god you managed to paint a beautiful picture for me. I simply assumed that for them it was simply party time all the time along with a few bald jokes but this is much better. Emotionally healthy squad 11 which still love fighting more than anything. I always cringed when someone would just describe them as hooligans that do nothing but fighting. I mean they do that too but I love the idea that they are all emotionally healthy and mature, a loving and supportive family to their own - in their own wakka doodoo kind of way thats endearing - and of course they are in my opinion they single capable force against sexisim. Because they don't care about anything else - gendere, sexuality, gender performances, race, mentality or anything - other than if you fight good you respectable and if you fight good in squad 11 you family. ( like when kenpachi just became captain he made yachiru his lieutenant and no one was against it no one thought it was beneath them, sure thru nag at her sometimes but that's mostly in a banter like way because she call them stupid nicknames but no one hates her for being unrightfully their superior. One day they got a new captain and a new lieutenant that's a child and they just went with it.) I admit their disdain and disrespect to squad 4 is still frowned upon but I do believe some squad 4s can handle their own, it's just that we saw the really peaceful ones. Anyways sorry for ranting. Just wanted to say that yeah, I really like how the past squad 11 with iba and renji in it was a great place in general. I think if they found out some one was being sexist - for whatever reason - they would be there right next to nanao - or iba's mom protesting. Kenpachi and yachiru as well. And that makes me want to be squad 11 ,despite not being much for fighting, so bad.

So, for starters, thanks! I try to have fun whenever I write Squad 11, and I’m glad you enjoy my take on them.

My Squad 11 is just... really not very canon, though. Canon Squad 11 is actually pretty gross and sexist. Yumichika is transphobic, Kenpachi makes homophobic remarks about Yumichika, they bully Squad 4, there’s a filler episode devoted to a guy that Ikkaku bullied for, like 100 years because the guy lost his reiatsu saving Ikkaku’s dumb ass.

When you write fanfic, you occasionally run into these more problematic aspects of the source media, and you can choose to dig in and analyze them, or just... remake them in your own way. Take for example, Gin. If you read fanfic about Gin, there are some people who will peel away the layers of him and his fears and insecurities and still make him be a horrible gremlin, and it’s really stellar writing. Other people prefer to write him in an AU where maybe less bad stuff happened to him, and he’s more mischievous than sociopathic, and this is a less meaty interpretation, but it’s also more fun. Sometimes fanfic is a meal and sometimes it’s candy. It fulfills different needs and different fantasies and all of it is welcome.

Yumichika, who for me is the fulcrum of Squad 11, presents this problem. I really don’t like the way his “appreciation for beauty” plays out in canon. He doesn’t actually appreciate beauty, he just likes telling other people they’re ugly. I don’t think he’s ever pointed out beauty in anyone else aside from himself or his zanpakutou. I remember the first time I watched his fight with Charlotte and it struck me as so off -- why wouldn’t he find her beautiful? I mean, I know it’s a transmysogynistic joke, that’s why, men dressed as women is funny, hurr hurr, but Yumichika is gender nonconforming himself. This was an opportunity to make a cool character point, and Kubo took the cheap laughs road instead. Going back to what I said last paragraph, a skilled writer could, in theory, write about his insecurities and his brittleness and meanness and write a pretty compelling story, but a) Kubo certainly doesn’t, and I have never actually found a Yumichika-centric fanfic of this nature, and b) this doesn’t fit the role I need him to play in my stories. I am rarely really interested in writing about Squad 11 for its own sake. I like to write them as a backdrop for the period of Renji’s afterlife where he hit absolute rock bottom and bounced back up again. We already know the role Ikkaku played in this, except that Ikkaku is a complete moron in terms of mental health, and I really, really felt like this is where Yumichika needed to come in.

I like to massage Yumichika’s character a bit, but I do want to keep the flavor of some of his character flaws-- he’s still shallow and mean and judgy, and I love that for him, but I like to add in a positive side to his appreciation for beauty. Having Yumichika make fun of Izuru’s pores is funny but it’s even funnier if he’s just given Renji a compliment on his hair first. The idea that a Yumichika compliment is attainable makes all his drags the more vicious. Yumichika also judged people by their beauty instead of their moral character, which is humorous to me. He dislikes Byakuya as a person, but is obsessed with his haircare regime. I like to have him treat Rangiku as an equal, beauty-wise, and a person whose opinion he respects based on her aesthetic. Rangiku is actually a pretty savvy and very emotionally intelligent person whom many people write off because she likes to present herself as a lazy airhead, so in an extremely convoluted way, this all works out. I like to think that Yumichika’s ideas of beauty are also caught up in boldness and risk-taking and having one’s outward presentation ring true to their inner self. To me, this is the core of why he loves Ikkaku. To him, Ikkaku’s devotion to doing the most Ikkaku thing at all times, no matter how stupid, is irresistibly sexy. 

Aside: At some point, I decided that the fact that a lot of people in Bleach have colorful marks on their faces and elaborate hairstyle and accessory games implied that make-up in Soul Society is gender neutral. I like to think there is actually more of a divide between the nobility, who like their make-up to follow rules and be classy, and, well, Squad 11, who like to get make-up ideas from Jem and the Holograms. I don’t even wear makeup (I don’t know how and it’s expensive and I am ashamed of myself, we can talk about my own gender presentation later) but I like to write about both my male and female characters wearing make-up. I don’t actually know how my readers feel about it, but it just falls under the “Is that what people want?”/“It’s what we do” philosophy of all my writing.

I think one of the theses of my writing is that middle management is more important to the character of a squad than the person at the top. Captains sort of act as ideals to strive for, but they are generally unapproachable for one reason or another. Yachiru is more like her captain in this respect (which makes sense, since she is, in fact part of her captain). Ikkaku and Yumichika present this dual idea that 1) strength is awesome, fighting and being the best is awesome, and 2) part of strength is presenting yourself to the world in a bold and confrontational way. (The fact that both of them are hiding huge parts of themselves is laughably ironic). Kenpachi and Yachiru are shining examples of Do Whatever You Want and Be So Strong That No One Can Stop You. 

What really makes this work is that you need someone one layer down-- does anyone actually subscribe to this nonsense, and that’s why Iba - Abarai Squad 11 is Best Squad 11. I really, really enjoy the genre of Reddit posts where a total bro will find out that his girlfriend is trans and react by becoming a vehement advocate for trans rights. I love the bodybuilders typing encouragement to each other meme. Our world is flooded with disingenuous messages from concern trolls trying to tell us why being kind and inclusive to one another is bad or that you should reject help because struggle makes you stronger and the idea of a Himbo looking at something like that and saying “that seems dumb" is delightful to me.

I actually feel like there are a lot of awful people with bad ideas in Squad 11, it’s just that Renji and Iba don’t put up with their shit, and over time, that becomes the culture of Squad 11. I think that Squad 11 has incredibly turnover, but the ones who stay are the ones who subscribe to the ideas you mentioned-- fighting is what matters, if you wanna go argue about shit, go join Squad 5. In the IkkaYumi story I wrote, which happens shortly after Zaraki takes over, a ton of people leave. The Bount Arc (which I know a lot of people skipped) features a dude who was extremely pissed off because he had liked the old Kenpachi and thought Zaraki sucked and was so mad about it that he betrayed Soul Society. You might think that this arc would feature Zaraki caring about this in some way shape or form, but he really didn’t. So, I think there are a lot of Soul Reapers that took issue with serving under a little girl as a vice captain, they just aren’t in Squad 11 anymore.

Oh, one last note on Iba’s mom. I am of an age where a number of my friends have mothers who were Second Wave Feminists. The moms in question are a real mixed bag, because they Came From a Different Time, and on one hand, you have to respect what they went through, and on the other hand, they are very difficult to get along with. I liked the idea that Iba has always chafed against his mom and her big personality, and then Renji comes in, and is like, “hey, your mom is strong as hell and she has a lot of ideas that I never thought of but they make sense” and Iba realizes that, even though she’s still a huge pain in his ass, his mom is the person who made him who he is. Moms are complex.

Uhhhh, I have definitely lost the thread of wherever I was going with this post. Thank you for enjoying my Squad 11, which is nothing like canon Squad 11. Hopefully maybe this year, I will actually finish my Squad 11 Self Care story, where Renji stops being a drunk disaster person after Yumichika teaches him how to fill his brows; I got stuck on a part where Rangiku gives Renji a talk on ethical sluttery.

[tsukikento]

Too Fast For Your Own Good Part 1

(part 2) (part 3)

Pairing: Takami Keigo (Hawks x Reader)

Words: 4814

Summary: Soulmate!AU - the first words your soulmate says to you is written on your body in ink.

Genre/Warnings: Nothing? Fluff maybe?

A/N: I got carried away and this got too long so now it’s two parts! Hahaha oops sorry. Anyways, pls enjoy I spent hella time on this! Also posted on my ao3 @ allie_win

When Takami Keigo turned 13, a small tattoo formed on his back, just between his wings. 

The first thing he remembers was the burning sensation he felt in the middle of the night. He remembers yelping from the pain, turning on the light, and looking in the mirror to see what it was. 

Takami was worried that something was happening to his wings, but he was relieved to see that it was his soulmate mark, something he completely forgot about. 

I know I am.

Takami spent that night staring at the marking, admiring the way they curved around his wings. Finally, he had the promise of love.

The next day, Takami came to training sleep-deprived yet still shining happily. He remembers telling a man at the company about it, only for him to brush it off by saying, “Don’t think about your soulmate mark, you will be a hero with no time for romance.”

After that, Takami did not anticipate the meeting of his soulmate. Those words got Takami through a lot of tough situations. They pathed the way for his personality to form.

~~

When Y/L/N Y/N turned 13, a small tattoo formed on your back, just between your shoulder blades.

The burning sensation that you woke up to in the middle of the night scared you so much that you accidentally stopped time. The colorful world turned gray and you took this chance to turn on the lights and check the new mark.

Your parents expected this and preemptively explained the situation to you. They did not, however, describe the pain you were currently feeling.

You spent as much time as you could looking at the words on your back before turning off the lights, getting back into bed, and letting time once again flow without immediate interruptions.

So apparently you’re faster than me?

The words didn’t leave your head that night, and your parents also questioned the meaning when they saw it in the morning. 

A thought that frequently crossed your mind was that obviously you were faster than them. You could stop time! Granted, you couldn’t breathe while you were stopping time, which meant you had to spend time training your breathing, but you could currently go a whole minute without feeling your lungs heat up.

The idea of speed eventually made sense when you were signing up to take the entrance exam at U.A. High School. The professor signing you up asked to see your quirk, to which you paused time, moved to stand next to the professor, and started time.

“Wow, teleportation!” The professor complimented.

Although you were about to correct him, he gave you a number and called the next person up, not allowing you to speak. 

Regardless of how many times you tried to correct someone about your quirk, they constantly interrupted you and didn’t listen. Eventually, you gave up, deciding that deception may be the best choice for you.

From there, and into your graduation, you were known as Teleportation Hero: Telethon.

~~ Present Time - Age 20

When you awoke from a deep sleep on your first day off in two weeks, you were greeted by cool air and birds singing on a bright Sunday morning. You yawned, stretched your limbs, and relished in the warm sunshine coming through your windows that juxtaposed the wind passing by your exposed leg.

Today, you had plans. Relaxation plans specifically. A Swedish massage and celebrity-scale facial were waiting to meet you at your 2 pm appointment today, giving you ample time to eat and get ready. You had been anticipating this appointment for the past month, allowing the excitement to push you through the tough and tireless month you had faced. 

What made this appointment all the more worth it was the effort you put into yesterday’s mission. An earthquake villain appeared in the city and sent down multiple buildings in their wake. The entire situation was incredibly tiring, from the hours spent stopping time and carrying people out of buildings to the paperwork you filled out till midnight yesterday.

You turned onto your side and grabbed your phone off the side table.

You had a few push notifications from various apps as well as a couple texts from your friend, Kaoruko Awata, regarding the dinner plans you both had and your boss Edgeshot, wishing you a good day off. You smiled at the text and responded before putting your phone away. You would love to spend time responding to fans, but you wanted to use less time on your phone today, choosing to focus more on life and nature.

Eventually, you made your way out of bed and got dressed in some exercise clothes. Your stomach was growling at this point, and you were really craving some waffles and a cup of coffee.

Once done cooking, you turned on the television and reached across your coffee table to grab your coffee and felt your muscles ache, reminding you once again of the day previous.

You got the call seconds after the earthquake, and you immediately rushed over. 

Multiple buildings were crumbling down, some were ablaze in wild, red and yellow fires. Heroes were scattered across the scene, all rushing around to help the hundreds of civilians harmed. Some flew through the sky, others working to stop the fires. You didn’t spend much time taking in the scene, opting to begin the rescue mission; you of all people knew the importance of time.

The world thought you could effortlessly transport people from location to location. Opposingly, the process of saving people was rather tedious. You knew the importance of this mission, and you spent as much time as you could in the gray and frozen world you effortlessly created, but you still had to hold your title as Teleportation Hero. At this point, if the world found out you were lying about your quirk, they wouldn’t be able to trust you.

Oh, the hole you had dug yourself was deep and there was no one to help you out of it.

Around 12 pm, you finished your food, turned off the television and pulled out the book you were currently reading. With your busy schedule, you had very little time to read, but your New Year's Resolution was to read more, and this was one of the few days you could stick to that goal.

Regardless of the interesting story, you found yourself drifting back to yesterday’s events.

You had arrived so quickly to the scene that you had no communication earpieces set up and ended up stopping a healing hero to hear about the ongoing battle. 

“You okay?” The healing hero asked first and foremost, ignoring your question.

“Just quirk overuse,” You breathlessly replied. “How is everything going?” You asked again.

“Good, but it’s a slow process,” They replied. The healing hero grabbed a few serums off their belt and mixed them together in a small bottle. “The villain isn’t caught yet, but apparently they are narrowing in on him. He’s on the run right now.”

You nodded in response, silently praying that they catch him to ensure that no one else was hurt. 

“Here, drink this. It’ll give you a burst of energy,” The healing hero said while holding out a vile of blue liquid.

“Thanks,” You replied and immediately downed the shot. It burned down your throat and you felt the energy immediately rush through. It was definitely increasing your adrenaline. You handed the healing hero the bottle back and stopped time to rush into a new building. 

When you realized you had been daydreaming instead of focusing on the story, you silently scolded yourself and grabbed a cup of water to clear your head. You saw the clock read 1 pm, and you decided to get ready now instead of being perpetually late like usual.

You fondly reminded yourself how lucky you were to have a time manipulation quirk that helped counteract your horrible habit of being late.

~~

You ended up finishing the entire process of your massage and facial appointment around 5 pm, giving you less than two hours before your dinner date with Awata. The plan was for her to come over around 6:30, with food in hand, she had just texted you 5 restaurant options for you to judge. You lazed around your house as you looked up each restaurant’s menu and selected your top 2.

From your two, Awata ended up choosing the pizza place and told you that she would call to order right away. About 20 minutes later, you got a text from Awata letting you know that she was on her way.

You replied and went into the kitchen to grab out plates for the pizza. You downed the rest of the water you had been sipping periodically and walked across your small studio apartment to change into a more appropriate outfit than the one you had worn to your appointment.

Once in a comfortable yet surprisingly cute outfit, you moved back into your living room to wait for your friend. It was so uncommon that you got a whole day off without any training or any extra errands to run for work and you were going to utilize every second of rest. You laid down on your couch and quickly got lost in your thoughts.

Your mind wandered to Awata, reflecting on your great friendship with her. Although she was incredibly quiet and soft-spoken, she had the true heart of a hero and craved helping people. Not only that, but she had slowly been getting funnier and funnier due to her job at Sir Nighteye’s office.

You still remembered the smile on her face when she told you that she got the job with a silly joke.

Around 6:30, Awata texted you to buzz her up, and by the time she got upstairs, you had moved the plates and two full cups of water to the coffee table. You got up from your couch at the sound of a knock at your door.

“Hey, Ms. Hero Allstar,” Awata said as she waltzed into your condo with two personal-sized pizzas. “So, what’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” You mumbled, more focused on the steaming pizza that was being handed to you. You both were already drooling at the prospect of gooey cheese and carbs.

“Being so famous!” Your friend yelled as she took on her shoes before plopping down on your love seat.

You scoffed at her comment and rolled your eyes before opening up your pizza, “I’m not even in the top 2,000 heroes.” You grabbed a slice and moved it onto your plate.

“Not after today,” Awata replied, as she joined you in opening up her own pizza.

You looked up at your friend with a confused face, not able to reply because your mouth was filled with pizza.

“Wait, do you really not know?” Awata asked. She reached over and grabbed your television remote, switching it onto a local news station.

The image of two anchors came onto the screen. The view of them quickly switched away to a video of the wreckage from today. “They saved a total of 137 civilians in the span of only two hours. Additionally, no additional damage was caused in the process. This success skyrocketed Telethon to top charts online.”

The screen cut to a scene of you using your quirk to grab multiple people in only a few seconds. You gawked and looked over to your friend. 

“It was truly impressive, but what can you expect from a member of Edgeshot’s agency” The female anchor spoke as the screen cut back to them.

“It is,” The male agreed. “In fact, we have some quotes from yesterday about the situation.”

The healing hero from before popped onto screen. “I worked with Telethon for only a moment today, giving them one of my serums to help give them the energy needed to save people. I feel honored I got to be a part of this record-breaking defeat.”

The screen cut to a young boy, possibly 12 years old.

“Telethon was so cool yesterday!” Their face was bright and it warmed your heart to see their support. “Not only were they fast, but they were fast for hours! That’s endurance! Most speed heroes don’t have that, they might even be faster than Hawks!”

The screen cut back to the chuckling anchors and you looked over to your friend as they talked about the multiple videos circling the internet that almost all had millions of views.

“Holy shit.”

Awata nodded excitedly. “I know.” Although quiet, she could get just as excited as you during great events. She was smiling wider than you were right now.

If you were in your right mind, you might have noticed the correlation between the speed comment, Hawks, and your soulmate mark. However, you were too excited about this new fame to even think about it.

The rest of your night was spent celebrating with Awata, both of you having a few drinks and stuffing your faces with indulgent American-style barbecue.

~~

As weeks passed, the fame for you continued to rise. Your rating approval shot through the roof and you were being stopped more often to give autographs and take photos.

Not only had your fame been rising, but so had the idea of you being faster than Hawks. Although you admired Hawks, you kept away from the drama, opting to focus more on improving your skills to meet the new expectations you were being given.

~~

After about a month of this challenge circulating, Hawks couldn’t help but make a comment. He was so much more popular and powerful than this wannabe, and no one was going to stop him from being the fastest hero. He was being bombarded daily for a comment about the speculation of someone being faster than him. Not only did he hate the attention, but he hated how the doubt of his strengths got to him.

One day, when paparazzi were surrounding him and pestering him about the challenge, he snapped and shouted into the camera.

“There is no way Telethon is faster than me and I will prove it! This is my official challenge for them to come out of hiding and actually race me!” He looked straight into the camera and spoke eerily calm, “I am too fast for my own good.”

~~

You still remembered the fear you felt when you watched the clip on the internet only a few hours after it went viral.

You will admit that you made a connection between your soulmate mark and Hawks’ words at the time, but you brushed them off. Too often were you disappointed after talking to a cute boy that you had been admiring. 

It’s not like you could focus on relationships as a hero anyways.

~~

The next day, your manager told you that he contacted Hawks’ manager and arranged an obstacle race for that Friday.

“It will be great PR,” They claimed, “Even if you don’t win!”

You reluctantly agreed, not like you had much of a choice, and awaited the email that would contain everything you needed to know from the time and date to the price of tickets.

The prospect made you incredibly afraid. To you, the debating of who was faster was more fun than anything. The idea of having to prove yourself was driving you crazy.

What if you couldn’t hold your breath long enough? What if Hawks was so fast that he beat you before you could even stop time?

You sighed and leaned farther back into your soft couch, wishing that the cushions would swallow you up. Maybe this was all a dream and a nice nap would wake you up?

You bit your lip and read through the email, your thoughts drifting off periodically. 

~~

Over the next couple days, you worked privately at expanding your air capacity. Your manager wasn’t allowed to tell you anything about the course, so you had to work hard to perfect your breathing and your speed.

You laid down on the floor of the gym, no one was there because of how late it was. 

Your mind got lost in the thought of how you could technically even win a speed race. Sure you would have to run through everything, but to everyone else, it would just look like you were flashing from one place to the next.

A few years back, you met someone else with a teleportation quirk. They described it as flashing place to place, although they were restricted to only moving about 15 meters. You always thought of your quirk as a time stopping quirk rather than teleportation, but it did help you in battles that people just thought it was teleportation.

Grunting, you got up from your spot on the ground and got back on the treadmill. You stopped time and continued to run for as long as you could, dreading the competition tomorrow.

~~

You woke up to your alarm, the sky was gray and a chilly air flooded through your room, making you cling to your blankets. You heard the sound of rain outside and groaned. You checked your phone, but were too tired to respond to any texts you had received that day.

You got out of bed, your muscles aching and started preparing an ice bath. You hated ice baths more than anything else in the world, but they still dramatically helped your aching muscles. As you stepped into the freezing cold water, you tried your best not to focus on how much it hurt to sit in an ice bath.

After only a couple minutes, you practically jumped out of the water, deciding that you had been in their long enough. You wrapped your body in a towel and started drying off as you made your way to your room. 

You threw on a sweater and sweatpants to keep you warm and started stretching your muscles. From there, you grabbed yourself a freshly brewed cup of coffee and began applying the makeup involved in your hero costume. You made sure to apply a thick foundation and powder to make sure you didn’t appear too greasy in the photos.

You grabbed a snack once done with your makeup and grabbed your bag with any necessities or costume things you would need. Your manager told you to change there so you simply packed everything you would need. 

After double checking that you had everything necessary for the day and competition, you stopped time and casually made your way to the stadium, watching the still rain water in your own gray world.

Luckily, the place wasn’t too far away from your house and you were able to make it there by only needing to start time again a couple of times and take a breath. When you arrived, you were whisked away by your manager who had you immediately get dressed. You then had a couple people fix up your makeup and style your hair.

As this was done, your manager informed you that you would be starting the day with an interview, yours being right after Hawks’. He told you a couple questions they were going to ask and steered you to answer in certain ways.

“We don’t want to give too much away, just make it interesting and fun,” You manager said as the hair and makeup team finished up and left quickly.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and admired the way everything came together before your manager ushered you to the calling curtain. On the other side, you could clearly hear the interview going on between the woman and Hawks.

“So, Hawks, how are you feeling about this whole situation?” The interviewer asked. “You seemed quite angry at all the attention Telethon was getting.”

From your position, there was also a small television that pointed directly at them. You saw the expression of the interviewing as she asked Hawks the question. Her voice was practically dripping with sensuality as she tried to keep Hawks’ attention.

The camera cut to Hawks who was casually sitting back as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “Honestly, I wasn’t. I was upset that I was getting attention. I don’t like when paparazzi follow me everywhere.” He looked from the audience to the interviewer and smirked. “I’m happy that Telethon is getting attention, they deserve it. Granted, I wholeheartedly doubt their faster than me.”

“Oh, really?” The lady inquired. You could tell she was reaching for strings to create drama. She leaned forward and you noted how her skirt inched up just slightly

“Well, I am too fast for my own good,” Hawks replied, grinning and waving his hands to prove his point.. “I’m happy that Telethon is gaining attention, they are a great hero. However, no one will ever be faster than me.”

“Well, Hawks, I’ll be looking for you at the finish line then,” The lady smirked at the blond hero.

You groaned at the obvious bias the interviewer had.

“Anyways,” She started, “That’s all the time we have for Hawks. We are going to take a short break and be back with Teleportation Hero: Telethon!”

The audience clapped and Hawks waved goodbye to the crowd before making his way towards the back. In fact, he was making his way towards you. You gulped down the lump in your throat as your manager began making a few more notes in your ear about what to say in the interview.

You looked down as Hawks approached you, too nervous to look up at him. Not only was he the current number two hero, but he was also your maybe soulmate. You hated to dwell on love like so many people nowadays, but the idea that the Takami Keigo could be the love of your life could make anyone nervous. 

He smirked at you as a sound person came up and started taking his mic off of him and putting it onto you.

Your sense of smell was suddenly crowded with a deep musk, that smelled of woodlands and cherries. The smell was airy and delightful and you noted that it had to have been coming from Hawks.

Finally seeing the number two hero up close made you painfully aware of how handsome he was. 

His dirty blonde hair naturally swept back because of how much time he spent flying. His golden skin practically glowed as he smirked down at you, making you all the more self conscious.

Most of all, you couldn’t take your eyes off his wings. You were sure your face was mirroring their crimson color based on how hot you suddenly felt. They looked so soft and beautiful and you felt a strong pull to touch them as if someone was whispering in your ear.

As you felt the mic being clipped onto your hero uniform, you attempted to bring yourself back into reality. You swallowed your nerves and looked up at the smirking hero in front of you. You could tell he was amused at how obviously starstruck you were. Even with his mic off, he seemed to linger for a few moments to watch you, his eyes trailing up and down your body.

It made you all the more nervous.

You watched as his mouth opened, as if he was about to speak. However, you were quickly pushed by your manager as they ushered you onto stage.

“Wave at the fans!” They said as you were pushed through the red curtain.

You focused back on the crowd as the flashing lights filled your vision. You tried your best not to squint and wave at the people around you. You were making your way to the chair and the interviewer that was awaiting you, when you suddenly felt a bit overwhelmed. You took a few deep breaths and tried to calm yourself.

You gingerly sat down in the seat and smiled brightly at the woman in front of you.

After the applause died down, the interviewer became speaking. “Welcome, Telethon, we are happy to see you today.”

“Oh, the pleasure is all mine,” You replied. Although annoyed, you could still be nice and spread positivity for your young fans. “As a fairly new hero and not very high ranked hero, it is incredibly surreal to be gaining so much attention and thanks for my work. I keep reminding myself to try my best for all the new fans I’ve gained.”

The audience erupted into applause and you could tell the lady was a bit annoyed that you were coming off as so nice and humble. You brushed off her attitude, knowing that you were being true to yourself.

Regardless of how you acted in your own life, you were a hero nonetheless and wanted to be a good role model for aspiring heroes.

“Yes, yes, I’m sure you’re loving the attention,” The lady, who you still didn’t know the name of, said. “However, do you really think you are faster than the number 2 hero?”

You smiled politely at the woman in front of you, even though you were silently wishing she would be hit by a train. “Actually, I’m here for the challenge. Regardless of whether or not I win, I am always looking for a challenge to better myself and gain new experiences.”

“Oh, so you are just doing this to get close to top heroes like Hawks?” The women interjected, stopping you from further explaining yourself.

“No,” You sternly replied. “Like I said, I personally want new experiences and to keep reaching for ways to become a better hero. For example, I’ve been training for the past two days to prepare, and I know my speed has increased, and I’ll be proud of that even if I don't end up winning.”

The interviewer was practically pouting from your ability to easily recover from her questions meant to stump you. From there, the interviewer asked you a few easier questions, such as one about your employment at Edgeshot’s company.

Eventually, she prompted you to say goodbye to the audience and you politely waved and she asked people to tune in at 4 pm today for the competition.

You waved goodbye as you walked off stage and were immediately meeted by the sound person and your manager.

“That was great,” They cheekily grinned at you, knowing full well how annoyed you were with the rude lady.

“Thanks,” You replied, glad your manager was able to understand you so well. “You mind if I take a breather?”

“Not at all, just be back in half an hour,” He replied, “Your bags are in the green room.”

“Thanks,” You mumbled as you made your way around the building to find the green room. Everyone was rapidly walking around and the whole building was incredibly busy. You groaned and stopped time, using this as a chance to search around a quiet area and find the room.

Not only were you pissed that the interviewer was treating you like a child, but you were ridiculously nervous for the competition. You knew it was supposed to be a casual competition, but Hawks made it seem serious for him. He was the number two hero for god’s sake! If he lost to you, it could ruin his career.

Not only was the moral dilemma of letting Hawks win vs. trying your hardest bothering you, but so was Hawks. In the brief minute you were around him, your body filled with uncertainty and you felt intoxicated on his smell and appearance. Maybe it was you getting caught up in the idea that he may be your soulmate, or maybe it was your body telling you he was.

Regardless of your nerves, you were currently most caught up in anger for the interviewer. You entered the green room, and stared straight at the glorious display of food. You didn’t bother to look around the room as you started time again and groan in frustration.

“So you are just doing this to get close to top heroes,” You mumbled, changing your voice to match how annoying it sounded coming from the interviewer’s mouth. “Like I need it, I’m Edgeshot’s top employee and she would have known that if she did any research before the interview.”

You groaned loudly again and turned to face the couch. No one could explain how flustered you felt when you saw Hawks sitting on the couch, eating a plate of fried chicken. When you met his eyes, you felt his golden eyes bore into his soul.

He adjusted to be sitting up straight and moved to place the plate next to him. He cleared his throat and took a sip of water. You watched him the entire time, too embarrassed to speak.

“So,” He finally began, “apparently you’re faster than me?”

[sepublic]

Really Small Problems!

           Honestly, the jokes in this episode were superb- I loved the carnival and all of its neat little gags, from the Molar-Coaster, to the Rotten Apples, and so forth! Also it’s hilarious how the Fun Police are literal clowns, but that’s one of the more obvious gags! I noticed that the Oracle Teacher (whom I will call Diana because she gives me those vibes) had a male voice in her brief appearance, but it doesn’t matter!

           This was frankly another great episode! I’m glad the show gave us another interaction we hadn’t explored yet- King meeting Willow and Gus! It was SO adorable seeing Luz and King’s friendship, I touched on it a while back but it’s one of the best things this show has to offer, it’s just so pure because you can tell that King has never had someone who would childish indulge with him in all of his little games and jokes, and just have simple fun! Mind you, Eda is there and HER friendship with King is also great, but I think there’s a certain level of understanding that King and Luz now have that’s special to them, too!

           In general, I like that they touch upon small things that only King may notice (fitting given how his issue was not being noticed, as if he was too small), and I have to wonder if him hitching a ride in The First Day was him partially missing Luz… Obviously the snacks are an incentive, but I can see him going to Hexside so he can visit in case he suddenly feels lonely! D’aww… He was like a puppy when he wasn’t sure she’d come back!

           Willow and Gus were also neat this episode, and I love how Gus confirms he has puberty going on- It seems like a meta discussion at his VA’s age (15!) and also his voice changing a bit in the previous episode! Willow was also interesting… Sweet as always, of course, but it’s a bit fascinating and terrifying to see her just summon magic like THAT, no spells and all! Coupled with her glowing green eyes, which are also associated with another powerful figure, Emperor Belos, and I have to wonder… Also I’m surprised that Willow and Gus even remembered Tibbles, and vice-versa! Granted there was social media for Tibbles to learn through, and I can see Eda and King having relayed the story through Luz!

           And Luz! I love this adorable, dumb little dork! Her following the cotton candy trail and all of those AU looks for her in the Hall of Mirrors, including an anime and werewolf version, that’ll be fun! She’s such a kind and sweet person- What else is there to say!

           (Also, fun detail about Boscha having a pet pixie that led to the infestation at Hexside- This school just keeps getting into trouble and it’s really surprising to see Luz wasn’t involved this time! I can only imagine what adventure could’ve happened there!)

           The Obvioso gag was hilarious with Tibbles and well pulled-off, I like its execution- Not gonna lie, I WAS a bit confused because the Witch’s Apprentice game listed his alias as Mysterioso, but what we actually got was funnier. THAT app had already made a mistake by using a different whistle for the one given by the Bat Queen, so I can’t be all too surprised!

           And King! Honestly he was SO mature in this episode, you can tell his character development stuck around from earlier! I was a bit worried he would be super-selfish here, and he still WAS doing things in his own interest… But the way it was set up, I can understand his mistakes? He misses Luz, he’s not used to having someone humor him, and Willow and Gus fell into the same trap of seeing him as cute without listening- And yeah, so did Luz, but Luz always got around… My point is, Willow and Gus never had the chance to prove themselves as friends to King and vice-versa!

           So he gets the mysterious potion- He doesn’t buy, it’s just given to King! He’s rightfully horrified at the thought of making them disappear (even if it’s only temporary and reversible whenever he wants), and it only happens by sheer accident! It’s still wrong of King to not immediately try to bring Willow and Gus back, but the whole situation is a lot more understandable- And seeing him willing to SACRIFICE himself for Luz and the others, after all their time together? Just… UGH their bond! The friendship! KING is willing to die for Luz at this point, this says so much and now he’s being friends with Willow and Gus too! Also I like his way of getting the group back to normal, that was pretty clever!

           The gags with flies were hilarious in this episode (Luz snorting one, Hooty eating his friend, Gus being horrified at its hairiness), and I love how Eda was legitimately angered when she realized Luz and King were captured (and Willow and Gus too I guess)! If she didn’t already have those candied apples, I could’ve seen her doing something MUCH worse to Tibbles… But as is, the dude has canonically had his livelihood ruined twice and disgraced the family name, and is probably going to get half-eaten! AND, Eda also gets all of his snails- I’d say that’s the karmic retribution I was waiting for back in Episode 6! Good for Eda…!

           All in all, this was a GREAT episode! Genuinely funny and charming as always, King’s character was well-done and the relationship between him and Luz was so PRECIOUS… I know this episode will be largely ignored in favor of Understanding Willow, and I can see why… But come on guys, don’t forget about King too! He IS one of the main cast members after all…

           Anyhow- Onto Understanding Willow from here!

           (Quick note- That Fun Police Chief is a DEMON?! And Tibbles is confirmed to be a Witch, I’ve got a LOT of questions now about Demons and if there are any differentiation between them and Witches at this point, Dana PLEASE answer me!)