#......dont ask me how many times ive rewatched this show

[lref-incorrect-quotes]

Wallace: What's up? Clyde: I just saw Kaz put four pounds of sugar into our washing machine and tell me he was making cotton candy Wallace: Did it work? Clyde: Clyde: NO!

[3416]

„insane television arcs of all time“ I have never watched the series but your tag got me curious! Care to elaborate?

well.. first of all, queer as folk (the us version.. i've not seen the uk one) is just a show of all time in general. i watched it when i was probably too young, lol, but it's an lgbt staple in my mind. you have to remember the time period it was being made and where rep was at at that point.. and what was acceptable, but much like the l word to me, it was edgy and profound to see queer people in such explicit and various ways on tv. it's shocking to me some of it made it on a tv screen in the early 2000s.

granted... i have not rewatched this show in years, so my feelings on the characters and stuff might change if i did now, but brian kinney's character arc on that show in relation to love is just... kind of a complete 180 and was satisfying to watch. to go from emotionally completely closed off to sacrificial for the sake of love and a better person for it in general is like.... profound stuff lfjekdsj. you get to just watch him thaw. there are a lot of shocking things about the show, lol... be warned, but it's really one of those ones that feels so complete in my mind.

[quodekash]

CONTINUIAMO LA PUNTATA SEI DI DANGEROUS ROMANCE (or, in other words, LET'S CONTINUE EPISODE 6 BITCHES)

OML EVEN THE OTHER TWO GOT UP TO HELP

i have such a deep emotional attachment to literally every single character in this series it's insane somebody help me

dude I literally love these wiping down scenes in bls so much, its always so tender and caring and adorable and HONEY YOU'RE GAY OML ILYSM KANG

nOOOO

DONT MAKE ME CRY

wait do we know what happened to his parents? is this common knowledge and im the only one who doesnt know, or do we all know?

but like. sailom and saifah's parents clearly aren't in their lives at all, so did they abandon them? did they die? how long have they been missing their parents for? does sailom remember his parents at all? what's the age gap between sailom and saifah? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS FAMILY PLS SOMEONE GIVE ME ANSWERS

...

........

.............................

........daddy kink?

THE QUESTIONS GROW

PLS I NEED TO KNOWWWWW

oh hey that rhymed

I SEE PICTURES IN THE BACKGROUND

CAN WE GET A ZOOM-IN PLEASE

OH YOU DIRTY DIRTY LIAR

CMON MAN

bro is deceiving left right and centre holy hell man

BRO, I LITERALLY LOVE HER SO FRIKIN MUCH

IM WHEEZING

THIS IS SO FUNNY

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3, ANYONE????

"right now I can hardly breathe" "oh-oh you can do it, just know that I believe" "and that's all I really need" "then come on!" "make me strong! it's time to TURN IT UP, GAME ON"

pls tell me someone will know what im talking about and will appreciate it

I showed the scene to my sister and she knew immediately what I was about to reference so im hoping i can share the joke with someone

LMAOOOOO KANG IS JEALOUS OF GUY

THE CLASSIC JEALOUS-OF-THE-BEST-FRIEND TROPE

pat napat jindapat knows the feeling

as do many others but hes the only example I can think of in the current moment

AAAAAAAA

IT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

IVE BEEN ANTICIPATING THIS FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK

HOLY FRICK I MIGHT DIE

HR3IPOGJOERJOSDOGVJOBREJOPIHODGJBVJPHIOBJERPWJIHEOTGJFO[PIH3REJPOIHBGHFJO[IBVHERJBDSHPIGVHEROUHIFSDHIGBJVIHPJOERIHJOU0FDHIPGJUPHIVBJOUHIPR9U-EPHI9U-FDHIPSGJOUVU[9RF

HOLY FR I CK

H O L Y F R I C K

that was so soundwin of them

OH MY GOHSHHHHHHH

IM SO EXCITED FOR NEXT WEEK

I will be rewatching this episode (at least the very last part) every single day until then

also lmao, 'give it to me straight' and then he asks quite literally one of the gayest things he possibly could

ive rewatched that last scene three times now. frick. someone help me.

[theyamjam]

SRRY IF YOUVE ANSWERED SOME OF THESE ALREADY BUT 10, 14, 18, 23, 64, 86, aaaaaanddd 95 for th ask gameeeee :3

10 (how would you describe your style?):

if this is aboutt fashion style? cozy!comfycozy!!! in the winter/autumn i like wearing brightly colored sweaters with fun logos on em, in the summer i mostly wear plain t shirts with pants or shorts (preferably long pants though :0( ). i likee slightly oversized floppy clothes without too many different accessories. im not very good at matching pieces together, so i usually go for things that are simple and nice to sleep in and have a funny picture or pattern on it

if its about my art style its probably soft :o) i like drawing soft comforting things

18 (favorite tv show?): OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes is probably still my all time favrite,,, i havent rewatched it in awhile but thhe art style and the soundtrack and the story are all just so fun and well thought out at the same time it makes me so HAPPY!!! it would be nice2 make art just as good as ian's some day hes so talented

also I AM LORD BOXMAN!! HE IS ME!!!!!!!

23 (describe your dream date): OH I DONT KNOW ACTUALLY. 1 of the things ive stumbled across most when i go on dates with people is that im still in the setting of "oh i need to do well. i need to entertain this other person ineed to score likability points or else theyll dislike me forever" and ofc thats not how youre supposed to feel around the person you love and trust with everything </3

so for my dream date ii would probably want to already know this person irl long enough that i feel comfortable around them! maybe when we're already in a relationship. i wanna do something thats entertaining but leaves enough space for us to have casual conversation llike maybe go to a cat cafe? or 1 of those places where u can make ur own candles? BUILD A BEAR OH PLEASE OH PLEASE BUILD A BEAR

theseare just examples but i dont think i have any clear cut plans for whata perfect date would be because i just want some1 i can be put into any scenario with and love them and not have to worry too much about whether they love me back or not !

64 (favorite dipping sauce): ummm my food palette is a little basic im afraid :0( i like garlic sauce and mayonnaise

95 (summer or winter?): PROBABLY SUMMER!!! the sun might make me burnt n sweaty but it also makes me happy :o]

[beomdrs]

HOW TO MOTIVATE URSELF FOR SHIFTING!

me and @chaeslvr111 were talking abt how demotivated we are and i decided to make a post abt it! so to laksh here u go 🫶

lets think abt it this way: lets say, everyone is studying for a math test. student A, who had only studied for two days, scored higher than student B who studied for more than a week. does that mean that student B will never score as high as student A? obviously not! the reason why student A only needed two days to study was bcuz they understood the concepts tested. for student B, the reason why they needed a longer time to study was bcuz they had trouble understanding the concept. however, they didnt understand the concepts yet, which was why they scored lower than student A.

u might ask, how does this relate to shifting? well, since everyone’s shifting journeys are different, that means that everyone’s understanding of shifting is also different. some are able to grasp the concept of shifting easily, like student A, while others might face troubles with fully understanding the concept of shifting, like student B. BUT, student B can also be like student A. if u find out the troubles that ur facing with shifting, then u can overcome them and shift successfully. i’ll make a seperate post abt this soon, but TL;DR don’t compare ur shifting journey to others, nor do u let others journeys influence urs. only YOU can determine when u will shift, no one else.

u might ask, how does this relate to shifting? well, since everyone’s shifting journeys are different, that means that everyone’s understanding of shifting is also different. some are able to grasp the concept of shifting easily, like student A, while others might face troubles with fully understanding the concept of shifting, like student B. BUT, student B can also be like student A. if u find out the troubles that ur facing with shifting, then u can overcome them and shift successfully. i’ll make a seperate post abt this soon, but TL;DR don’t compare ur shifting journey to others, nor do u let others journeys influence urs. only YOU can determine when u will shift, no one else.

watching content related to ur dr

i’ll be splitting this into two parts: one for kpop shifters and one for other shifters.

for kpop shifters, i usually like to watch their vlogs or behind the scenes content. it helps me imagine better how they go about their schedules, which makes me visualise different scenarios in which i can be with them as well. i might also make a masterlist for motivative content for kpop shifters too!

for shifters who are shifting to movie/drama drs, rewatching the show itself and the behind the scenes filming is rlly motivative for me. watching the interviews about the actors of the movie and hearing them describe how they filmed the show is also extremely helpful in helping me visualise how i would be filming the show.

redoing ur scripts

i myself find scripting tiring 😭 but i know plenty others who get motivated by scripting be it the theme of their scripts or just scripting in extra things like scenarios.

listening to songs abt ur dr

i ABSOLUTELY love this one like ive got more than 20 playlists abt the different ppl in my drs (esp my txt one… uhm sos) u can make playlists based off the vibe of ur dr, ur dr ppl, even just dr scenarios too. i usually listen to them before i sleep so that i can be more motivated to shift, but u can also listen throughout the day while affirming to shift to ur dr!

creating pinterest boards abt ur dr

yet another fun activity for me. u guys dont know how MANY pinterest boards i have for my txt dr (im sorry tubatu ilysm). anyways pinterest boards are useful in a way for ppl who visualise better by seeing rather than hearing. u can make boards for anything in ur dr, like ur dr clothes, ur dr friend group dynamics, etc.

have a great day lovely, and happy shifting! ♡

[casualavocados]

alright, here comes the long ass super personal and sentimental post absolutely nobody asked for (you’re welcome)

i watched episode 1 of bad buddy the day it aired (1 year ago today!) out of sheer luck. i dont even remember how i discovered it, but my initial thought was: “im bored. it’s 11pm and i dont want to go to sleep. this trailer looked fun. oh it came out today? sure what the fuck.” and i watched it in bed, on my phone. completely fucking unaware of what was about to happen to me and my life - and this honestly amuses me so much when i think about it because let me tell you...

i am NOT one to watch romance for romance’s sake. i really couldnt care less for it tbh. i’m not what i’d call a shipper at all (though i used to be, and if you remember my blog back then i owe you financial compensation bc tbh that whole spectacle exhausted me ANYWAY-). 

romance is just something ive always preferred as a side dish to plot, bc i only tend to like it when it’s super well done, and ive never found any of it very realistic. this was actually pretty unfortunate for past me bc fun fact, i am a little bit of a hopeless romantic, and romcoms are my guilty pleasure. the problem is i also dont like any of them enough to care about them after ive satisfied my initial “i want to watch something cheesy and cute” urge. i’d seen a few other bl’s over the years but only bc i was bored or wanted to watch something gay, and none of them had ever stuck in my mind after i finished them. i actively avoided those fandom spaces so i definitely wasn’t keeping up with what was new. 

(now listen, i have very specific thoughts on bl itself, but im not gonna get into that here (and actually miscellar said yesterday that the bl difference between 2020 and 2022 is unrecognizable and that basically sums it up so i dont have to lmao <3)).

- and ep1 of bad buddy is pretty typical bl! i adore this about it tbh because i was completely unprepared for everything the show was about to pull. my initial reaction was that it was something fun to look forward to every week.

so then-

I dont!! i dont even know how to explain it! ive tried too many times!

but it really is That Bitch, and truly feels like something i’d been waiting my whole life to see. a romantic comedy that was incredibly realistic in the sense of being overwhelmingly human, and also overwhelmingly queer. it’s so effortlessly fucking funny, while simultaneously a very (very very very) layered and emotional story. i will sing its praises to the end of time. it is quite literally the most well crafted show i’ve ever seen, and every time i rewatch it, or go back and reread old meta, im reminded that im not insane believing that. it just literally is that good. it’s such a simple story done so. extremely. well. it’s so ordinary, and that makes it extraordinary, and that was the intention from the start.

but i also have to say, one of the best things about having this show, is getting to be apart of the amazing community i found here loving it alongside me. bc i avoid fandoms. i stick to the places and the people/mutuals i know. i drift through edit tags more than i follow individual blogs. i block people like lightning. i have always had anons and replies off and i enjoy my privacy!!!

and i have talked to more people and made more friends and have had more fun this past year than i ever have before on this site. 

it took me until after bb finished airing to start following people back, but by then i knew which blogs posted what and what i’d want to see more of on my dash - and there are still many many people im not following, or who arent following me, that i talk to! i love each of you so very much, and i want to do a couple special shoutouts, if thats okay. ♥️

SO, in no particular orderrrrrr:

@mrdumpling nuria you were the very first bl-centric blog to follow me, and as such gave me a little bit of a heart attack that day, because i knew you were a popular blog and i Was Not Ready For Attention lol. but im so glad you did! ik we don’t talk often, but i love lurking on your blog and following what you’re interested in, and most especially, sharing this show with you. to say your edits are beautiful is an understatement! i always love to see what you make!! 🧡

@actually-yikes SORA I MISS YOUUUUUU!!! 🌹 i love talking to you, i love bonding over warrior pran with you, i love the edits you make. i think you’re very funny and delightful. seriously. ...im kind of at a loss for words here bc you’re one of the blogs i went to the most while bb was airing, and the first person i followed after it ended. i really just think you’re wonderful, and idk how else to say it! ily!!!💕💕

@miscellar you have some of the best takes ive ever read, and you somehow seem to read my mind and write (in much better words than i ever could!) exactly what im feeling on so many different topics. i love reading your analysis, your criticism, and just in general whatever you have to say. you impress me very much tbh and im always a bit amazed whenever you talk to me. i love sharing meta with you! 💚

@pranparakul KATIIIEEE when you’re not on my dash i miss you. even if you’ve got posts in your queue ill be like 🥺 where’s katie? is she having a good day today? literally it doesnt matter what you post abt, bc your enthusiasm for whatever it is always makes me so happy. keep doing you <3♥️🌸💗💕💜🌸❣💗💜♥️💕

@snimeat GEI. okay we dont talk OFTEN but when we do we talk a LOT. your excitement is sooooooooooooo contagious and it always matches mine and i feel SO SEEN. i think your edits have such a mystical vibe to them...they always make me feel very wistful (in a very good way). luv u 💛

@pranpats Kit!!! your gifs are GORGEOUS. and you are one of the sweetest people on this site. you always say such lovely things in the tags, and i love occasionally coming to talk to you about gifmaking things. you are such a warm presence on my dash! 💜

and of COURSE @grapejuicegay - kk i think we speedran our friendship in the last 6 weeks. idk how we never really talked before, now that i know we were BOTH lurking on each other’s blogs this whole year. i don’t even know what to say that i haven’t already said in our dms. i fucking love talking to you. there are some people you just click with and im so glad you’re one of them. 💙💌💗💖💜💙💕💛♥️🌹💌💖💙💕

there are so many more of you i want to mention here!! and if you read this far please know im probably also thinking of you, and i want you all to know that i have loved every minute watching and sharing this show with you.

im constantly blown away by everyone’s kindness and how welcoming all of you are. this is truly my favorite place to be online. thank you for all the tags on my gifs and meta. thank you for being so warm.

im so happy this little show means as much to all of you as it does to me. happy one year everybody. 🎆🥂💚❤

[literaphobe]

papyrus and jasmine

For the ask game

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

line without a hook by ricky montgomery came up!! i like this song a lot. played it SO much in um. 2021!! fun fact my no 1 that year was this december by ricky and line without a hook was 3rd and mr loverman was 5th. i think i associate these songs n that year w finding myself and acceptance of life going wrong. not just covid wise but me realizing i had 2 drop out bc my major was too much + my uni at the time didnt let me change it vibes. line without a hook and the other 2 songs all represent comfort and longing to me :)

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

damn. i dont think ive read a book in a WHILE. tbh i love rewatching and rereading in theory but im just so busy. and i rewatch tv shows but rarely movies. i get the urge but w movies bc of how many ive never seen i feel guilty rewatching most things. sad.........

random get to know me ask game!

[ladyryukyo]

for the ask game maybe top 5 animes?

ohh interesting. couldnt really decide again so there are a lot of honorary mentions GDHSGDFG

1. fullmetal alchemist brotherhood

i dont even know how many times ive rewatched this anime, the characters, the pacing, the world building, i love everything about fma. ed and al are the best fictional siblings, show me a more iconic pair of siblings, you cant. also i love love the magic system, alchemy is made so interesting and science-y i eat that shit up

2. soul eater

soul eater convinced me to ship a straight ship which is really a feat in and of itself, but apart from that, again the characters are amazing, the friendships are so personal and fun and real and i just love the weapon-meister thing. been wanting to make a soul eater AU one of these days, sooo badly.

3. detective conan

i know the episode count is intimidating but imo so so worth it just bc of how intricate the story is and how cleverly everything connects together. shinichi is maybe my favorite fictional character ever, i love how much he struggles (lol) and always manages to outsmart his opponents in the end

4. promare

if youve never seen promare, watch it right now, its a movie, its kind of gay, lio fotia is the light of my life, galo is the lovable himbo youve been searching for, and together they are so badass and cool and also just the animation?? is absolutely beautiful, never seen anything like it, before or after watching it

5. hyouka

the others are very action filled and that is usually my shtick but hyouka is so cute, i fell in love with it the first time i watched it and im falling in love all over again with every rewatch. really cute highschool mystery friendship/romance but what really sells it are how much personality the characters have

honorary mentions: my hero academia, banana fish, that time i got reincarnated as a slime, balance unlimited, attack on titan, dr stone, bungou stray dogs

[captinracoon]

i love so much when something i like has one time purchase items alongside a patreon (thinking of wtnv here) Because its like "yes!! i can support my favourite content and not have to try convince my family a patreon is worth it-

this is also why i love sites like dropout, Give me some content but lock most of it behind a paywall, ill just watch and rewatch the stuff i like thats free until i can share an account or get my own

And this is ALSO why i like that theres different ways to donate to help palestine, When i have no money i can do my click, when i have money i can choose between charitys or gofundmes and theres no expectation that you do a repeat donation every single month. (because some people cant afford to do that)

Its so wonderful how there are still companies currently about who dont expect you to Pay for a subscription just for everyone in your home, You can share dropout/(watcher too..) passwords, You- probably shouldnt be sharing the nv patreon but you can still go and snag a tshirt and it benefits them.. and you- because cool new shirt! You cant share the money you putting towards one cause, But you can share the go fund me, you can share the daily click..

Like in an ideal world, alongside their subscription which could be shared, Netflix would have even just a "pay this much to watch this show!" allowing people who wont necessarily watch most of the content on netflix can still access thencontent at a price that matches how they interact.

(palestine n other tags censored in tags juzt to not clog up tags of art or go fund mes or news!)

(i just find it awesome how accessible so many things still are even with subscriptions attached to them jn some way)

and it totally benefits, Most of the go fund mes ive found i havent had money for but ive been able to reblog them, Nightvales merch store and bandcamp has meant ive been able to support the media i love without worrying about a constant subscription- Its more understandable to ask for the.. nightvale books or old tour shirts then it is to ask to pay money every month. It was more understandable to ask for money for the live show then to ask for that subscription

And because of this i can get the live shows i missed and merchendise- Of course going up to a merch table is nerve wracking but my dad is more prepared to speak for me to say shirt size then paying for another subscription. and no, i dont have any drop out account, But if i did its great i can go and just.. share my password.

And circling back to donations, no matter if i donate or not i can always reblog or share a post which could lead to someone getting even just a pound,

[im-always-the-problem-its-me]

i don't know what the fuck just happened

i somehow managed to fuck up SO's birthday and feel awful. ive gotta make a big drive tomorrow night and have to fuck up my sleep schedule on purpose and with how emotionally exhausting this whole day was it's that much more difficult.

i legit started rambling, feeling very 'i'm a piece of shit, what do you want..let's make jokes about how fucked up i am while i detach emotionally when you have a breakdown' like roman fucking roy and then i even said 'i'm roman fucking roy, i don't know what you want from me'.

here's what i think happened: nutshell version because being vague is safer and i'm also tired.

SO has been depressed. i can't do shit about it. i have a bad habit when i'm overwhelmed with my own shit to be like 'let's try to just be super happy and pretend his breakdown isn't happening because i can't handle men crying on the floor because i'm used to men getting angry, yelling or worse...hitting me.' so i avoid. it's a symptom of complex PTSD apparently and also i think ptsd doesn't accurately describe what i have anymore because nothing is 'post'. this shit is happening right now and im constantly triggered because i figured out i'm still being abused and emotionally manipulated by my parents as an adult and i don't know wtf to do about it. i think im going to need therapy again. SO says he thinks he wants to go see one again too.

there's nothing wrong with our relationship. it's individually, we're both fucked up. it doesn't help i have this 'not really, but kind of' a side thing but it's not affecting things here. (im still a piece of shit because if anything its kind of an emotional affair...i dont know...feelings are fine...if i act on them then that's different...this is an old flame too and we're close, always have been...it's just an intense friendship bordering upon dangerous with flirtations but THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE)

'you never shut up' SO said to me out of anger. broke down after he said it even though i agreed even though it stung. i told him don't worry about it. it was true. i need to to not put all my shit on him. that's why i suggested therapy again.

i explained that i don't feel mad or upset by anything that happened tonight..just feel bad because yes he called me out on being emotionally detached and i have been lately because im a fucking mess. i also tend to run from everything so i even told him fuck it, we can move back because it's fine me being a mess but since he's the breadwinner, when he falls apart it's bad for both of us. i'm already on benefits because of epilepsy that's intractible. nothing I can do about that. but he needs to be ok.

he keeps looking at me like i'm nuts but dude, i've been running my whole life. i wanted to settle and stay here forever and i love this place more than any place i have ever lived but look i'm still sick here and i got issues popping up like god hates me.

i'm not even roman roy. i think because i detached instead of wearing it on my face or crying like kendall. maybe i'm a mix of both. i dunno. that show speaks to me on so many levels. i rewatched Hannibal too and i'm just like wtf. then i picked my favorite mommy issues movies to put on.

here's what i know happened: two people who love each other very much aren't doing well mentally but their relationship isn't what's making the other fucked up. it's everything else they have never dealt with making them individually fucked up and tonight it blew up. bad timing. neither of us could help each other. he got rightfully pissed. i am not upset he got pissed and the one thing he said out of anger was a very true fucking statement that put a big mirror in front of my face.

i realized too that i cannot handle a man having a breakdown. he asked why i always just walk away from him when hes like that? well because i don't know what to do with it and also what if it turns into something else and the man is going nuts on me or taking it out on me? i don't know. i'm very fucked up.

i hate victim mentality bullshit. i try not to put stuff on anyone. so i sweep it away like it's not fucking happening and i got called out on that. i don't know how to be there for him. i can't help it i have ingrained weird ideas. i try just not to be a cunt ok? and i don't know maybe i was one tonight? i don't even know. i apologized for getting loud when i did because i had my earplugs in so didn't realize how loud i was and i also hadn't eaten all day and it was making me hangry so my brain couldn't even process anything until after i ate.

a man shaking and crying on the floor because of me? (or what i perceived as being about me?) all i thought was get away from him because you're hurting him and nothing you do is going to make it better...and then it was like i felt like my mom. that's what she did. no comfort for the crying ones...just walk away until it's over. but i'm not his mommy. i'm his SO. he even said 'i don't want you to baby me or anything, just a little comfort would be nice.' he's right. but again, why are you crying in the first place? i'm selfish so i'm thinking 'wtf i'm a mess...now i have to wonder why you're a mess...wtf' and jfc no....i don't know what the fuck happened.

we need to both get some help with our issues somehow or we're not going to make it if repeats like this keep happening. i can't even call it a fight. it was more just a collective breakdown. he went to bed red eyed and mumbling. i'm up exhausted but numb af.

fucking a.

it's good i'll be gone for a day. give us both some time away just to think. well, he'll be able to anyway, ill be cramped in a car with 7 other people for 18 hours. not that i'm complaining. i've gotta do this to help out with bills and plus now i've got an obligation because my mother keeps putting shit on me and didn't even give me a chance to say no and if i don't make this trip a lot of people are out of money so im basically unable to back out even if wanted to. fuck it. i think i'll finally be able to chill next year. i'm going to make myself anyway. get through holidays. have a good time on our concert trip in january. hopefully by them my SO and i are in better places mentally too.

one hour at a time.

[februaryflowers]

It’s Day 4 of Secret Santa! 🎁 I’m a pre-med student actually so you can guess how stressful that is 😖 Good luck with your studies!

I dont know what I do on my free time to be honest I’m always so busy! I used to write and play piano but I gave up on that during college. Which explains why I’m unable to give you a fic link 💔 I haven’t read a fic in a while but when I do find one I like I’ll send it to you!

Question of the day! Whats your favorite movie that you could watch over and over again? 🎞️ (Fun fact, I wanted to be a film major at some point!)

oh yeah one of my friends is a premed and he's really going through it😭 i hope you're taking care even during busy school times 💔

honestly i've kinda forgotten what i used to do for fun as well (was at a dinner with some people i'm working on a project with the other day and they asked i was like idek 😭) but i've played piano for most of my life so that's my default + something i'm tryna practice more (ive practiced twice since coming to uni 😭)

oh honestly i'm really bad at consuming visual content and also rewatching things 😭 i don't watch a lot of tv or movies (also goes for books 😭)... my attention span is kinda hard to control and keep engaged for shows/film,, there've been so many shows i think are interesting but i for the life of me cant get into them or finish them 😭 and as for rewatching i usually find it hard since my brain is already like you know the general plot you dont have to pay attention 💔 but my favorite movies in general hmm i really liked knives out and my neighbor totoro + spirited away

do you have any favs? but ooh film major? is there a reason you went for premed instead?

[usertoxicyaoi]

Hey Faiza, what were your thoughts about the Enchanté finale? For most of the episode, my heart was hurting and I cried a few times, but omg, there were so many beautiful and touching moments. The way I sobbed when I finished the episode because despite all they went through, Akk and Theo came out stronger in the end. Goes to show that when two people are made for each other, nothing can stop them from going back to each other (omg I started tearing up while typing this WHATS WRONG WITH ME) UGHHHH the way I don’t think I’ve ever felt this much fondness over a show — I’m gonna miss it and them so much!

hiiii anon!!!

see. i livewatched the finale and then i gave it a few hours and then i watched it again. and ive realised that livewatching ..... is a very emotionally heightening experience (my emotions were BOUNCING off the walls i was all over the place) and that after i gave it a few hours and rewatched it at my own pace, it just felt .... a little less intense and i understood it a lot more.

i already Knew we'd get theo going back to france and a timelapse. i'd called that even before the finale aired, so i was 100000% ready and expecting that.

the scene that HIT me was theo looking out of the car window and akk standing there and that paralleling back to their childhood. i DID NOT need that, lmaooo. i was just as much of a wreck when i rewatched the finale as to how much i was when i livewatched it.

another scene i LOVED that huuuuurt was akk on the stairs tryna blink away his tears whilst just a wall away from him theo was in his room doing the same too. i think that just. really. epitomised them in a nutshell. how they're both so hungry and so in love with one another and thats their selfish desire bc they would rather be together anywhere in the world but they both will be just as selfless about that same love too.

and. god. theo ACKNOWLEDGING how he was scared to tell akk the reason why he went back to france. bc he didnt want akk to wait on him again, despite knowing akk will. i always say how akk knows theo so so well, but theo? knows akk just as well too. and i think theo realised just how much emotional baggage he really carries and how emotionally damaged and scarred he really is in that scene and how itd be so selfish of him to ask akk for anymore. and that was his moment of growth!!! i think people dont realise that when you're an only child and your entire home just ..... breaks down .... (and theo even said that his house was gonna get sold too) ... the psychological impact that has. apart from akk, he has NOTHING else left in thailand anymore. not even his house he was born in made of bricks and cement, in the physical sense.

would that make akk feel guilty? would that play on akk's mind? that the only reason theo is here is bc of me?? of course it would. and thats where im comes in.

as a Big Asian Sister myself, i GOT where she came from. she used reverse psychology, something that i do with my little siblings alllll the time to try and get them to do and think the opposite of what they are doing or thinking. if my sister has an exam tomorrow and she isnt studying, instead of telling her to go and study, i just tell her "yeah you keep playing genshin impact and then wonder why you failed your exam tomorrow". its. i GOT it when she was tryna tell akk that maybe its about how its time now that you need to take that step to overcome your fears for yourself. you Know you want theo, so go and get him and make a better life for yourself. if theo has been selfish (in the sense of his desires in he just wanting akk) and akk has been selfless (in the sense that he's always made sure that theo was happy) throughout the entire show, then it was so nice to see theo being selfless (by not making akk wait anymore or dragging him into this will he/when will he come back??) and akk being selfish (doing what he had to bc he wanted theo and taking those steps and measures to realise he wasnt confident in who he was before but he is a little more bc of his hard work to get to where he is now). the subtle nod we got into them self-introspecting and self-developing was so nice!! given the show was only 10 eps!!! so i cant even imagine if it did have 12 eps as per usual, we would have seen a little more too! but even then, i'm satisfied, bc i can do a bit of brain work and realise what they were implying.

and to just. KNOW. that they're together! and they can go back to thailand whenever for however long and then go back to france whenever for however long or go anywhere!!! whenever!! for however long!!! and through all of space and time its only ever been them two for each other!!! there's just so so so much love there. soooooo much love. and even time after when they kiss its still the same. its still desperate and they hold each other so ... close, still so desperately and when they hug its so warm and comforting and tight and searing, just like how they cuddled in theo's bed.

and they're 2 grown adults now that are working towards their own dreams so diligently for themselves at the same time too! how realistic! i'm so pleased we got to see the emphasis on that!!

and they're engaged!!!!!!! of course they are!!!! of course they plan to spend the rest of their lives together!! and i know some people said that akktheo havent communicated enough for them to be agreeing to marriage just yet. but its not like theyre gonna get married the next day. i think they just. they Know. that if they were to marry, its that they both will, to each other, someday, and that the proposal was the last act of devotion to one another for us to see. theyre gonna spend time, PROPER LENGTHY time, as boyfriends and fiances, and someday when the time feels right, they'll go from best friends > boyfriends > fiances > husbands, and commit.

and so i feel like. even though their story is complete, it just feels like. yeah. we're a special episode away from it being fully finished. and who knows, man. maybe we will get it someday.

but yeah. i just. i'm biased. i love them. i love forcebook. what can i do? i'm force here squishing book's cheeks as a an act of showing how endearing i find them. they have my whole heart and i cant WAIT to see whats next for them.

[quodekash]

im rewatching the no one else like me music video bc the brainworms are writhing, and it keeps randomly hitting me, over and over again, that 

a) those flashbacks happened. they HAPPENED. soundwin actually DID THAT, in ACTUAL CANON?? THEY CANONICALLY ARE IN LOVE WHY DO THEY KILL ME SO MUCH 

b) SOUNDWIN ARE FREAKING BOYFRIENDS NOW????? 

c) NEXT EPISODE IS THE LAST EPISODE????????? 

idk how the flip im supposed to survive without this silly little band every single week 

surely theyll renew it for a second season 

or just a soundwin spinoff pls 

so many of us have asked for it I NEED IT OH MY GOSH 

like. this show has killed me twelve times over. but without the show, i think i might literally cease to exist. i know ive said it a lot, but i genuinely dont know how the flip im gonna get through life without new canonical soundwin content filling my screen and brain every single friday night / saturday morning 

(and literally while i was typing this out, captain posted this 

HE FREAKING GETS IT BRO) 

[utenaposter]

good morning everyone i am experiencing Thoughts again this time about the last line in keikos black rose episode

utena asks anthy why even after whats happened keiko continues to stay at nanami's side instead of leaving and. and anthy response is probably one of the cleareeeeest examples of her giving her own motivations. she replies

"if its for someone you love, how you feel about others doesnt matter. You keep lying to yourself as long as it takes"

like this is maybe the most obvious time she says something that shes actually thinking

i think that at this point in the series shes. reaaaally starting to try to get utena to leave. in small ways. this keiko episode is also the one where akio tells anthy "i want you to stay good friends with utena" (yknow, to manipulate her) so like i think shes literally trying sooo hard to get utena to hear her thoughts but of course its anthy so its the most cryptic way possible

like this is her saying plainly "i love akio and will do anything for him, i do not care about you utena. (thats a lie but also fuck off i dont want to deal with Feelings right now)" and obviously utena doesnt get it and tbh i also didnt get it until rewatching it but now its like.. aoooruthfhhg.. yknow

also unrelated but i really do think that utena needs to be rewatched atleast once, bc i am now realizing just how many things ive missed in this show and now i see that the first time i watched it i was utena, now that im rewatching for the third time i am anthy. idk if that makes sense but yeah

going back to the main thing. this is one of the first times she tries to push utena away bc like she sees that utena is 1. winning the duels and 2. getting close to akio and of course this isnt drastic and utena doesnt even get any of what anthys trying to say until the balcony scene but this is an attempt on anthys part.. i just. anthy is such an interesting character it makes me scream sometines i just think about things that anthy does and its like.... oh my god... yea ok end of post zettai unmei mokushiroku

[artreider]

Let's try to get this final live blog on my station 19 rewatch done. I'm currently laid up on my couch in mild pain but unable to do anything else.

I don't really like flashback episodes but i want one for the premiere since we are jumping so far ahead. I hate that this episode starts with a fight. But damn knowing what the fight is over, i love how loyal andy is to maya in this episode. Something ive wanted for her and the team. Qnd also jaina looks gorgeous.

The fire scene yay another fire on the fire show lmao. Feel like we missed some last year which im sure was covid related.

The marina scene ugh chefs kiss. I love how happy and giddy they are. I do wish we couldve gotten to see some of their month apart communication and their quarantining apart those two weeks when carina got back. I wrote a little something related to that and i may share before the premiere of season 5.

The quiet moment between carina saying her morning was better than those 6 weeks and then asking about mayas folks was a beautiful and real moment and i love it. So brief it could be overlooked but great choice for team.

The little bit of danielle and stefania that was them and adlibbed in this episode was so great also.

I love that rhey addressed how everyone was able to attend maskless and how safe the wedding was keeping the real world element in. Also vic love you and your chicken dance comment makes me sad that we didnt get it.

Vics parents trying to talk to her about theo is so cute.

Poor lawyer she'd be good for dean.

I understand some people dont come out until late in life but that is hard to hear that you havent loved the person youve been with for decades like you do this new person. That would hurt me so much to hear, like i couldve been with someone who is my great love if youd told me sooner. I love/hate this storyline for travis family.

Ugh if this fire had gone on any longer those poor kids and elderly couple.

Haha andy you should wait until someone answers the door for you when visiting almost newlyweds or people who've been seperated for 6 weeks lmao.

Also maya's excuse and none wet (shower) sex hair i love it.

Ugh sullivan trying to defend himself makes me so upset.

Bailey giving ben hell about second and third opinions is funny, like i figure shed be all for it.

Inara and marcus leaving jack is sad. I hope we still get to see marsha in season 5. Also if they do pair jack and jo itd be a bit ironic. I mean jo too had an abusive ex like inara.

Also jack and his marsha have similar eyes, itd be something if it came out she really was his mom.

I dont understand how maya hadnt settled on what to wear she's queen of the clipboard lmao. Just goes to show how some things throw us off course. Also i totally get her saying her outfit choice will define her forever. I judge my look in my wedding photos all the time and feel like other people do as well.

Why do i feel like this exchange between maya and carina was mostly adlibbed? It just feels so fun.

This poor family and ugh i couldnt imagine having to make the tough calls of firefighters/fire captains.

Love that all the fire crew helped put the wedding on.

I understand travis emotion here.

How'd this conversation about maya's folks get started with andy???

I love that maya and andy's friendship is restored. Also famous last words maya, dont speak the bad juju into existence.

Dean you shouldve spoken up there.

Why the chief there? I live in a city and the chief aint showing up for a house call that needs a few units. At least not until fire is out of they for some reason cant get it out.

Lmao maya freaking out about wearing the same thing as carina. Andy therapizing maya is funny.

That poor boy.

The dad comments to ben are beautiful. Also love that so many of the team know how dean feels about vic.

So why is travis getting dressed separately than the rest of his team. I mean i know its because he doesnt know about Dean's feelings and pushes vic to give theo a chance as well as allow theo and travis to talk but come on. He wouldnt get ready separately.

Also what was the point of theo going to that room if not to get ready. Sorry just annoying.

I wish carina had had someone mention andrew to her. Whether ben, bailey, maya or even any of the fire team who worked on the call with him during the crossover awhile back. Her grief during this day of happiness should've been acknowledged, even with just a remembrance table for him amd other family she lost to covid.

I do love this beautiful moment with vic though saying this isnt all just for maya.

Oh my how i love the maya confronting her father. She is the brave i want to be. Also what she says to her mom, yes chefs kiss. However when her mom shows up at the wedding, really the woman couldnt grab a nice shirt or dress to wear on her way out or on her way to the wedding.

I also love the look of pride on maya's moms face both at the house and the wedding.

Im sad we probably wont get any moments of her living with marina due to the time jump.

Ugh the choice that cost maya her promotion but ahouldnt have.

Also with all maya's options for clothes, couldnt they had dressed her mama in something borrowed from maya. Lol im sorry it bothers me so.

Vic's song for the intro is beautiful. Barrett has a beautiful voice.

Maya is so happy her mom is there and i love it. Also in my head at least one person videoing is doing it for the greys family who couldnt make it to the wedding for carina.

I also love maya singing along with vic to carina.

Queen of the clipboard forgetting to write her vows is special and funny. I love carina talking her down from a panic attack. Also her simple vow is beautiful and how carina who probably did write her vows saying we're good instead of reading them after seeing maya's mom in attendance and the look shared is everything.

I truly believe that was the moment she 100% knew maya had changed from end of season 3, was definitely all the way in. She knew what it meant for maya's mom to be there.

Love the dance montage and improved marina kiss.

Another healing theo and travis talk.

Sullivan just cant let it go and ugh trying to justify it. I just cant, still not over it. Even if he isnt captain in season 5 it still isnt right.

Sullivan you cant say you have the teams back then saying you can control them and throwing maya under the bus. Those are contradictory.

This jack and andy conversation is interesting.

This marina conversation is funny but sad when you know the end of the episode.

Its so funny that so few people know about Miller's feelings at this point.

It'll be interesting to see the travis, vic and theo in season 5.

Ben and bailey are so cute.

Wish we couldve had conversations at the wedding with maya and her mom or carina and maya's mom or the 3 of them.

Inara is so wise. I hate this for all 4 of them.

Gotta love the ole grab em and pull em back to kiss them and let them know how you really feel tremmett moment.

Too late dean, they tried to tell you.

I love marina dancing in the background ugh sullivan and the surrera rehashing.

Time for the horrible news ugh.

Everyone just looking at marina and knowing is horrible.

Great season, great episode and im looking forward to whats next.

Thank you to everyone thats been following my rewatch blogging, and for all the kind comments. I appreciate it so much, made the summer so fun.

[merlinssaggyyfronts]

BBC Merlin Rewatch:

01x01: The Dragon’s Call

—

FIRSTLY THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION LMAO “Merlin, a young country boy” COUNTRY BOY AHAHDHSNDH IF ONLY YOU KNEW!!! ITS LIKE SETTING SOMEONE UP FOR DISASTER BUT THEN AGAIN THEY WERE SO LIKE I MEAN-

aw look at merlin all happy and smily, walking into camelot like he isnt going to witness the death of his best friend/king and basically everyone he loves

LOOK AT HIM HES SO HAPPY!!! HE DOESNT KNOW YET

“like everyone, he must live and learn” yo shut ur bitchass up lizard man u literally tried to murder everyone in camelot that one time

“his name: traumatised 😍😍”

AH YES THE OPENING!!1!1!-!-! AHHH THE AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS I FEEL HEARING THE OPENING

fuck ur bitchass uther no one likes u

“i pride myself as a fair and just king” sir didnt u like basically kill ur wife... and thousands of peo- OH MY GOD MORGANA BB ILY

oh jesus okay hes dead um chile-

“when i came to this land” wait i thought he was raised kn camelot brb i forgot im an idiot wait,,, does this mean before this it was the du bois family on the throne of camelot?? also, mired in chaos? u mean like.... before ur wife died and everyone was living peacefully? ....okay

“merlin, seeing a person who's been stated had been studying magic get beheaded: [a magical being himself] ah,, welcoming.” -my gf

“since the great dragon was captured” ....so did no one think about where they put a dragon?? a captured one at that. ud think he’d be more smart but nah he just left a random ass dragon under his castle like THAT is going to end well

YUHH MARY COLLJNS HATE HIM!!! YELL BABEY YELL!!! “you took my son!” YES MURDER HIM OMG I CAN FEEL HER PAIN

“a son for a son!” omg why couldnt u have killed uther bb ur the perfect villain i love u ur literally just a loving mother i-

OOOOO GAIUS

.....why is there a bunny mask in there

why is thERE A BUNNY MASK-

why didnt merlins eyes glow when he dragged the bed to gaius to save him

also whats this slomo magic why didnt he do this after this why did season one haveso much magic and like every other season was just everyone throwing it back

like i get instinctual magic but like.... if its instinctual wouldnt it happen more especially when his powers get stronger-

gaius: what did you just do?!

also gaius, five seconds later: i know what it was!! i just wanted to know where you learned it

merlin: 😐

merlin, about his magic: i was born like this

gaius, who knows full well warlocks exist: impossible!

(are warlocks naturally born knowing how to use magic without learning? i mean if u have to learn magic like a sorcerer then whats the difference between a warlock and a sorcerer cuz wouldnt sorcerers atleast have to have some magic in them to actually cast spells? am i dumb or do i just not get it)

wait so merlin arrived in camelot on a wednesday

merlin, walking into camelot: it is wednesday my dudes

merlin: [witnesses an execution] aaaAAAAAA-

“someone that might help him find a purpose of his gifts” oh honey he’ll get something mUCH LARGER THAN THAT-

—

oH MORGANA

SHUT UR BITCHASS UTHER SHE WILL KILL YOU-

“the more brutal you are, the more enemies you’ll create” oh the waY SHE PREDICTED THEIR FUTURE OO

ah bless u lady helen/mary collins we love them spicy villains

...why do you have a dressing table in a tent

[watches mary collins murder lady helen] i never snitch on dadd- ...someone pls delete me

merlin, about his instinctual magic: i just do it!

gaius: ...lord have mercy what did i just sign myself up to

what ever happened to sir olwen did he die from accidentally overdosing

—

oHHH THERE HE IS THERE HE IS THERES MY BOY!!! MY LIL PRAT MAN!!!!

merlin looks so offended, oh god i could watch this whole scene for HOURS

oooOOOO YES MERLIN FUCK HIM UP!!! SHOW HIM WHOS BOSS

“do i know you?” “im merlin” “so i dont know you” ugh theres already sexual tension

“i would never have a friend who could be such an ass” “or i one so stupid”

also them, ten years later: “i use my magic for you arthur, only you” “just hold me” “i cant lose him! hes my friend!” “thank you..”

“tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?” OOOOH THE BOYS ARE FLIRTING

NOT THE “would you like me to help you?” SIR YOU ARE FLIRTING SO INTENSELY AND DONT EVEN REALISE IT SIR DO YOU KNOW YOURE FALLING IN LOVE

im convinced atleast half the knights with arthur were like “ayo thas kinda sus bro 😳😳 ayo 😳😳”

arthur: tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees? would you like me to help you?

merlin: ....i really dont know how to answer that

imagine being paid to throw fruits at colin morgan omg id be so thrilled

OOOH HERE COMES OUR QUEEN GWEN!!! MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING YES ILY

gwen: well, arthur looks like one of those, save the world kinda men... and you dont

merlin, 1500 years later, having failed his destiny: well i mean you’re not wrong

—

gaius: uther banned magic a long time ago

merlin, flabbergasted as if he wasnt raised on tales of the death of his kind every day in the kingdom right next to his: why?!?!?

gaius: the dragon is imprisoned where nobody can free him

merlin:

(that is the face of someone knowing full well hes going to free that dragon. look at him. he’s already made up his mind.)

—

[sees merlin and arthur in the marketplace] oh heres he is again heres the lil bitxh ooo theyre about to FIGHT

god hes flirting so hard without even realising it, oh my god

“i could take you apart with one blow” “i could take you apart with less” um sirs this is a mcdonalds drive thru 😃

arthur: ahah, you’re in trouble now~ 😏😏

i had to pause cuz wHAT THE HELL WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT-

—

....yall are yelling very loudly, um, arent there guards near yall? people passing by? please relax

“im just a nobody, and i always will be” OH IF ONLY YOU KNEWWW

“if i cant use magic, i might as well die” ....well, ive got a surprise for you-

“maybe theres someone with more magic than me?” like... a whole dragon? i mean if you say so 👀

merlin about why he was born like this: if you cant tell me, no one can!

a fucking dragon, basically every magical creature and the druids: WELL-

the camelot guards are so stupid how the hell is this kingdom still standing

how does kilgharrah know merlins name? in prophecy hes known as emrys (and we see basically every magical being call him emrys and not merlin,, i think). so how does he know? did he stretch his neck long enough that he could somehow hear merlin? is it cuz theyre kin? is it cuz merlin and gaius were yelling so loudly that kilgharrah could hear them all the way in his cave? ig we’ll never know 🖐

merlin: where are you?!

kilgharrah:

kilgharrah: without you, arthur will never succeed.

merlin: ....oh look, im already paranoid

the amount of sadness i feel hearing kilgharrah say “none of us can choose our destiny, merlin. and none of us can escape it” is INSANE cuz in season one you can SEE merlin trying to escape it. hes doing his damned best trying to have some control over his life. and then in later seasons you can see the light slowly drain from his eyes as he becomes just another toy for the gods to be entertained by. he realises he cant control a single thing about his life so he does the one thing he can: protect arthur. and he loses SO MUCH because of it! its not fair, he deserved so much, and when he finally got everything he could ever ask for, it was taken away from him by his own mistakes.

arthur, seeing morgana in a beautiful dress: god have mercy 😍

uther: .....um

the way they set arthur and morgana up as if they arent gonna make them siblings i- what the fawk 😄

person A, who knows arthurian lore: oh no! arthur is going to have an affair with morgan(a) and have mordred! oh no!!

person B, whos seen merlin: oh no in this show its worse

person B, knowing full well theyre siblings: much worse....

gwen: who’d wanna marry arthur? 🙄

-

gwen, getting crowned queen of camelot: well fuck

hhhnghnh yes queen sing them to sleep yes murder his bitchass (and fail but like its the thought that counts)

on a sidenote tho this is such a fun way to murder someone, id try this

the absolutely OFFENDED “FATHER!” and the horrified look in arthurs eyss when uther announced merlin would be his manservant is PRICELESS OMG

oh the way uther unintentionally plants the first seed of his sons love story omg 😍😍

Conclusion: this episode is a 10/10 greatest episode with so many iconic scenes omg. mary collins u will forever have my heart for unintentionally kickstarting merlin and arthurs relationship destiny. i loved the whole thing and oh GOD does it already hurt knowing full well how the show ends