#even tho i was watching it a decade after it was airing.. i think u realize how much stuff can get made now bc of like.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

inspiration struck me. jacq from sv (love him am aghhhh) ur arcanine and his arcanine had egg. egg had twins. twins r shiny?! idk i just woke up from a nap and it hit me like that freaking shiny voltorb’s explosion. he’d be so happy if u found him a shiny tho u know it cmon. and just. himmmmmmmm ughhhhh. bestie help im. down bad lmao -galaxy

We get it bestie, you want him so bad /lh

.......

"...oh! We got it, Jacq!!" Overjoyed that your carefully crafted "egg power" sandwich finally worked its magic, you gently took the spotted egg out of the picnic basket.

It felt somewhat heavier than previous ones you've hatched, but you didn't think much of it at first and eager showed your partner--the one and only Biology Professor Jacq. He agreed to come out today to study Pokémon habits alongside you.

"Wow..I only took my eyes off the basket for a second and it.....it just appeared??" He slightly gawked as he stared at it.

Once again, he was astonished at the phenomena that was Pokémon breeding.

Since Paldea lacked daycare centers, it took a while for trainers to learn that picnics were the substitute--which actually made things easier since it enabled their Pokémon to breed pretty much anywhere as long as the landscape was suitable.

But even in this region, nobody could explain where the eggs come from. No one has seen a single Pokémon lay them, even if they watched them very carefully and stayed up all night.

The egg would just....show up as though it appeared out of thin air.

It perplexed many professors and specialists for decades, even experts like Jacq. It'll forever be a mystery.

"What do you think it'll be, [y/n]?" He pondered.

"I'm willing to bet it's a Growlithe, since your Arcanine's been cozying up to mine lately." You chuckled, gesturing to the two fluffy fire types who were snuggling next to each other near a tree. "I'll go on a little walk to find out."

"I'll join you!" He insisted, grabbing his lab coat off the chair and putting it on. "Let's stay on the main roads. I'd hate to see the poor thing get attacked the moment it hatches."

"I concur." Nodding, you slipped the egg inside your bag, before seeing your Arcanines waking up and running over to you both. They must've wanted to accompany you--which was understandable given you had their egg. They didn't want it out of their sights.

And so the four of you began the long stroll, with him reading a pacemaker on his rotomphone to count the approximate steps necessary to hatch the egg. He was curious to see if it'll come out the same as other Growlithes..

Or maybe it'll be a Shiny.

He's heard of that phenomena too--where it's possible to hatch a Shiny Pokémon if its parent is paired with a Ditto. That was a popular method in the daycares of other regions.

But here? You'd rather not wait all day for a dozen eggs to appear.

The odds of that type of Pokémon hatching were still low regardless, so you're not pushing your luck.

After feeling like you've been walking for ages, you heard Jacq suddenly stop, and you looked back at him. He was observing the readings on his phone, eyebrows furrowed. "What's up? Is your Rotom being annoying?"

"Oh no, it's working as intended. It's just...we've already walked over a thousand steps. Why, we're nearly at two thousand!" He glanced up at you. "Did you feel the egg stir at all?"

"Hmm..no, oddly enough..." Being equally confused, you took it out of the bag to make sure it was alright. It felt warm to the touch, though for it not to crack yet was bizarre. "Maybe it's nervous to come out." You joked. "Let make it to two thousand and see what happens."

Nodding, Jacq caught up to you, still monitoring the steps you took before it finally happened-

The egg suddenly jolted in your hands, startling you as you quickly and carefully set it down on the ground. "It's time!" You backed up, standing beside him.

As its shell cracked, beams of light began pouring out from it, and both of you waited in anticipation.

Then it completely burst open to reveal...

Not one, but two Growlithes born from the exact same egg. And if that didn't surprise you, it was the realization that they're both Shinies as well.

Their yellow fur emitted starlike sparkles as they took their first breaths of air, taking a moment to sniff one another. Only then did they notice the two Arcanines who approached them, being just as surprised as their trainers.

With yips of excitement, the little Growlithes ran over to their parents, greeting them with loving nuzzles and licks.

Meanwhile, you and Jacq were standing there, still in total shock.

"I-I can't believe it.."

"D-Did...two just hatch from one egg?! In all my years of research I've never heard of this happening! This is incredible!" The biology professor laughed, before going over to examine the newborn Growlithes.

And he kneeled down, he took a look at their stripes, making another surprising discovery before beckoning you over to him. "[Y/n], come look..their stripes are the exact same pattern!"

"Really? Oh, wow.." You joined his side, smiling as one Growlithe jumped into your arms and licked your cheek. "Haha! This is great! What are the odds that our Arcanines would rear twin Shinies?"

"It has to be astronomically low, but not impossible." He chuckled, petting his Arcanine's snout. "Arceus itself must've blessed you with luck, because this is phenomenal!!"

"Yeah." Smiling, you stood up and ruffled the fur of your own Arcanine, happy to see them becoming official parents. "You ready to start your own little family, bud?"

"Arc, Arca!!"

[ca-suffit]

I generally *don't* dislike devils minion as a ship. I like it even...But sometimes I think about blocking it even though there is good content i like to see on it.

But the tag is filled with people who hate loumand, people who try to put shippers down. I don't see that much hate even from loustat fans.

One of the things I repeatedly see that gets on my nerves is the "armand pays more attention to daniel in dubai then he does to louis" take.

I understand they probably will happen in following seasons. But to think that armand was secretly in love with daniel the whole time in dubai is such a weird take to me. Do you think it has any base or is it just the fans trying to push their own narrative? Am I crazy to think that armand looked like he was completely in love with louis in dubai, despite their problems, and didn't really care about daniel outside of louis?

I get that they will get together in the future and i will support them and nod along when that happens. But they clearly didn't happen in season 2. There was just too much resentment on both sides and they both clearly cared more about louis. Am i crazy to think that?

I think first of all that ppl should relax trying to attack each other over which ships they like or not. it's pointless and everyone is with everyone else eventually so there's no reason to be going at each other about any of it. this was way less intense before the show aired bcuz everyone was white. now it's insane bcuz there's a lot of racist motivations fueling the protection or rejection of these ships. we can all just breathe (this is a general statement, not rly aimed at u).

secondly tho. I think the show has made a lot of things intentionally ambiguous. I can't say one way or another what armand is thinking bcuz the way he looks at daniel at times could read either way. he *is* focused on daniel in one sense bcuz daniel is *the enemy.* once armand was no longer rashid, he could more directly confront daniel and he did (not like being rashid stopped him fully anyway but lol). but there's times he's uncharacteristically gentler on daniel than louis is, like during the engagement mind-reading fuckery. I think it's meant to read as both, if u have awareness of DM. I don't think it's meant to be THERE there rn but a detail to notice and think is kind of fun (hard for this fandom to do tho, ik lol).

idk when DM is meant to take place in this universe, but I think there's something to be said about viewing all of them after 2x5. armand has remembered that entire thing the whole time and yet they're back here again. he'd otherwise erased both of their memories so neither one remembered the "fascinating" segment and he prbly figured the risk of louis thinking that again after so much time and in a different mindset was v low. but louis is still talking to the man he said was more fascinating as a stranger than armand had been for decades. and they're talking about lestat again. "ur going to teach me how to be fascinating" is prbly still in there somewhere. armand is always watching both of them bcuz he still wants to know what this means and why it happened.

it kind of mirrors jonah in S1. even tho louis doesn't explicitly tell lestat not to touch him, we learn that he lived to old age too. it makes claudia's death even worse but anyway I'm getting kind of OT.

but he definitely is v invested in louis too and is putting a lot into making the relationship look good. some of my fav parts are from some of those scenes tbh, when he's just smiling and recounting memories with louis in front of daniel. or even when he runs out as rashid to stop louis from attacking daniel again over claudia's diaries in S1, which now has more context knowing their history and louis' desire to not have harm come to daniel.

[x-authorship-x]

Hey torship.. do u think ppl binge reading on long ongoing fanfictions are bad? I was just finished bingeing a work and another reader commented before me like " oh wow icb i've just finished this (200k+series) in 2 days, what am i gonna binge read now?" And i was like, whoa so honest bro, would that hurt the feeling of the author or not? If it was said like that..

Hey✨

Hmmm, I've not really thought much on it, not enough to have a solid answer off the cuff. I'll try and muddle through it but, short answer? Don't we all 'binge' read?

Long answer is a bit more scrambled but stick with me.

I mean, you gotta join an ongoing fic at some point. If you mean specifically the type of binging where readers wait until updates pile up so they can read big chunks of the story in one go (I have readers who do this, you poor things will be on tenterhooks for decades at this point lol) or, maybe, they wait until the story is completed to start... That's a little different but it's not bad or wrong. I think it's more that, when you read that way, you're distancing yourself from the author's ongoing creativity.

Now, quick disclaimer, a fic is a fic and you can read it however you like, I binge stuff all the time. But fanfic is different from published OG work because the reader DOES have that opportunity to, kinda, participate in the creative process, to be there every step - or update - of the way.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this question, it's about how you approach your reading as much as how you view your writing. To me, as an author with a majority of ongoing works AND breaks in my updating, comments like that are a bit... Sweet and sour. This person binged my fic, maybe even the whole series or all of my works, and now they're left adrift with all these cliffhangers and emotions and the track is hanging, suspended and unfinished, and it's hard to scale off the ride by yourself. I always feel feral when I come up for air after a binge like that, like one of those pics of deer in dark grasses and the eyes are all lit up by the torch. You devoured my work like an animal, all fingers and teeth? I'm delighted!

But the listlessness of an unfinished work binge can also, intentionally or not, sting. Like, yeah, I know that was a lot to leave you hanging with, ain't it rough? (But please don't beg me for more because then the pressure makes it worse) and oh you read all 50K in one day, so you must've been so gripped? (You only commented on the last chapter, you ate that five course meal with a ladle and you mashed all the dishes together and did you even notice the care and garnish?)

My slowly revealed banquet becomes a buffet, whether you're picking at it or gorging. It's a different experience altogether. That's not your fault and it's not mine. It just is.

Most people don't pace themselves when they start a new show, you watch everything you can get your grubby paws on before jumping over to AO3, so why does binge reading become a thing in fandom? Because, for most people, it's the slower process that really makes the experience so positive. I've never published a work that was rubber-stamped finished before the readers ever saw it, so I'll be honest that I'm talking out of my ass as per usual, but I don't think I'd want to just.... Post all the chapters together. I want the reactions, I want the anticipation, I want the readers to travel with me.

To come back to your actual example tho, Neptune, "what am I gonna binge read now?" Is a comment that I would largely overlook by itself. I mean, if that's it, nothing about enjoying the work or thanking the author or anything to soften it, then it's a bit of a micro. Up there with letting the door swing behind you instead of holding it for the person after. (No harm really meant, just in your own world)

If it's part of a comment that expresses that the reader might've shoved down those five courses without savouring the flavours but they just REALLY loved that food, then it's more than fine, it's a big compliment! You were so busy eating that you barely paused for breath! And binging isn't a prerequisite to not commenting or savouring! It's like a mukbang, they love the flavours but fucking hell can they pack down that food in one sitting.

If it's rude, entitled, then I wouldn't give it the time of day. Putting something out there does not mean you're entitled to getting something back, even a smile or thanks. That doesn't, however, mean that it's not poor manners. And, if someone comes into my house and wolfs down my five course banquet before huffing with impatience or immediately leaving for their next meal, that's only a reflection of them and not me. I put the meal out, I can't tell people how to eat it.

This metaphor is running away from me lmao

TLDR: everyone binges, it's not a bad thing. But your manners matter and we should all be mindful that you're enjoying something for free; if the author wanted that conversation between chapters, if the author thinks binging is a compliment, if the author doesn't care at ALL. It's not a crime to be "late" to an ongoing fic, it's not a crime to read how you want.

Personally? I binge a lot, I try to comment as much as I can, and I try to remember that fandom is about community. I hadn't thought too much on the topic before this, tbh, and I don't even know if this makes any sense but I tried to sound it out for you guys anyway.

[somebody-already-took-this-url]

Tag 9 People You Want To Get To Know Better

I was tagged by @zackinpink !!! thank u for the tag, ily bestie<3

Three Ships:

Swanqueen

Regina and Emma were directly responsible for 13 year old me being comfortable admitting I liked girls. Regina Mills has been at the center of who I am for over a decade, and I don’t think I’ll ever let her go. These two are part of me, and I love them so much. Plus me and Emma share a birthday, and the show came out the day after my 13th birthday so it basically belonged to me (in my adolescent brain). They also are responsible for making me become obsessed with the enemies to friends to lovers dynamic haha (I am mentally unwell)

Mumbroom

This is my biggest ship for The Worst Witch 2017 fandom, I absolutely ADORE Hecate and I love her with Julie more than anything!!! It’s not as popular as some other ships in the fandom, but I kind of like that it’s just me and a few other people who ship it tbh. I like the dynamic of a witch dating a non magical, and I love mumbroom specifically because while Julie is Mildred’s actual mom, Hecate sort of becomes Mildred’s school mom while Millie attends Cackles Academy.

Mystrade

I think this ship started out as a bit of a crack ship??? Not just for me, but for the whole BBC Sherlock fandom really. But it very quickly became just as real as johnlock (Sherlock x John) and even though it was never quite as popular, is still my favourite BBC Sherlock ship. Mycroft has always been my fav character from the show, and I think he deserves happiness! Plus Greg is one of the most wholesome characters in the entire show, and even though he has very little scene interaction with Mycroft, they still somehow make so much sense.

First ship: Swanqueen & Snamione (these happened basically simultaneously). Is snamione embarrassing? Yes. Moving on now thanks

Last song: Bringin’ Back Christmas by Ryan Reynolds from the new movie musical Spirited 🫢 guys this is so embarrassing I’m sorry… I actually really enjoyed this movie tho💔

Last movie: Thunder Force (2021) with Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer!!! It’s so sososo good btw, I’ve seen it a bunch of times lol. I watched it a couple days ago with my mom, it’s such a funny movie! I’ve also watched The Addams Family & Addams Family Values in the last week, but those are total classics that I’ve also seen a million times before lol. I love movies!

Currently reading: The Ministry of Unladylike Activity by Robin Stevens! It’s not as good as the Murder Most Unladylike series but it’s still a good addition to the world she’s built in her previous series.

Currently watching: Emergence. I watched it when it first started airing on tv in 2019, but I’m rewatching it with my aunt :) I love you Allison Tolman!!!

Currently drinking: water! I’m sick so I need to drink a lot of fluids

Currently craving: peace and quiet… my little cousin decided I needed noise in my life 😔

Tagging! Ignore this if u want btw Idc<3

@vampiralia

@booitsrue

@avalonmoonshinesstuff

@theanxiousenglishmajor

@txciaz

@severusobserver

@morewinepls

@onecolorgirl

@fortyflightower

[3416]

„insane television arcs of all time“ I have never watched the series but your tag got me curious! Care to elaborate?

well.. first of all, queer as folk (the us version.. i've not seen the uk one) is just a show of all time in general. i watched it when i was probably too young, lol, but it's an lgbt staple in my mind. you have to remember the time period it was being made and where rep was at at that point.. and what was acceptable, but much like the l word to me, it was edgy and profound to see queer people in such explicit and various ways on tv. it's shocking to me some of it made it on a tv screen in the early 2000s.

granted... i have not rewatched this show in years, so my feelings on the characters and stuff might change if i did now, but brian kinney's character arc on that show in relation to love is just... kind of a complete 180 and was satisfying to watch. to go from emotionally completely closed off to sacrificial for the sake of love and a better person for it in general is like.... profound stuff lfjekdsj. you get to just watch him thaw. there are a lot of shocking things about the show, lol... be warned, but it's really one of those ones that feels so complete in my mind.

[i-like-writing-stuff]

four months; part 2 [five hargreeves x reader]

a/n: thank you all so so much for your support and feedback! i literally could not believe that the first part has over 200 notes and yall want a continuation like omagash??? im soft, thank you guys <3

here is the long awaited part two, but before we dive into that, i felt the need to ask yall if you want five to be aged up?? in most x reader i’ve read on this site, five is aged up, but I felt like, in my case, i didn’t really needed to mention that because i am only like two months older than the actor, and its not like im gonna write smut with him- gross. point is, idk. should i age him up tho??? idk what to do, so here are both aidan and timothee to soothe ur heart for this second part!! <3

(the gifs do not belong to me, lemme know if u know who made them so i can give credits- they’re real cute mah gawsh!!!)

alsoo if you want more five imagines or literally any other hargreeves sibling or fictional character ousside tua, feel free to leave a request in my inbox! kisses <3

summary: after a long family meeting and more booze, you decide to make a bold move and profess your buried feelings.

part 1

“Men are stupid shitheads.” You concluded, setting your flask on the counter, looking at the new bangs Allison had just cut for you.

Even in her drunken state, they seemed to be very nicely done. You were quite surprised by the way they turned out, but pleased nonetheless. It was a spontaneous decision, getting bangs. You had been sitting in the hair salon she was working at with her, Klaus and Vanya after a not so great family meeting.

Hugs were shared, true, but then arguments started and before you even knew it, Luther stormed out, Diego followed him, Five went missing for whatever business he had, and Klaus claimed that Ben was not even there- apparently, ghosts can’t time travel.

So, it was just the four of you, drunk in a hair salon, with too much alcohol and way too many scissors around you, complaining about how shitty your love lives could be.

“Amen.” Klaus raised his drink in the air, “I’ll drink to that.”

“Right?” Allison nodded, combing her second client, Klaus, “The nerve of Ray! I mean, one thing goes wrong and he’s on a warpath!” She vented, holding the bottle of liquor in her free hand, “I mean, doesn’t know who I am?! No, no! No, Ray- you know exactly who I am, you just can’t handle it!”

You watched with a raised brow as Vanya was out of zone, pretending to be shooting the long line of empty bottles gathered in front of her, as Allison kept on continuing her rant. Her husband had just seen her use her powers on the night they started the protest, and was now having a real hard time comprehending what was going on. You didn’t see him at home either, so you figured he may have been upset with you as well for maybe hiding the secret. Or maybe he thought you were like her, who knows?

“Hey, wouldn’t it be weird if Five grew up all hot?” Klaus suddenly asked, taking a drag out of his cigarette, as he got up from his seat to walk around the hair salon, “Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“Why would you even think of your brother like that?” You asked riddled, narrowing your eyes at the man as his sisters almost gagged at the thought.

“Oh, please, you’ve been thinking that, haven’t you?” Klaus asked, pointing at you as you took another swig from your nearly empty flask.

“I... I mean- he’s... Five... uh... no comment!” You suddenly declared, at loss of words, as you got up from your seat, trying to maintain your balance as you made your way towards the bottle of liquor to fill your flask again.

“When are you two gonna confess your feelings?” Allison asked with a groan, letting her head fall backwards as she sat on the chair, “It’s getting really tiring!”

“We have an apocalypse going on!” You argued, “There’s no time for feelings!”

“This is the perfect time for feelings!” Klaus chimed in, taking another drag out of his cigarette, “These might be your last six days on Earth! Do you want to die regretting that you never told Five how you felt about him?”

“I’m not having this conversation anymore.” You declared, out of arguments, as you poured liquor in your flask, “Why don’t we talk about Allison’s crush on Luther instead?”

“We have never even kissed!” Allison defended herself, causing Vanya to spin on her chair confused, looking between the three of you.

“Yeah, but you guys were making little sick moon-dog eyes at each other all through puberty and breakfasts and... all that.” Klaus waved her off, sipping from his own flask.

“Aren’t we all brothers and sisters, or...?” Vanya wondered confused, as you and Klaus snorted amused at her innocence.

“Well... technically...” Allison tried to find an excuse or explanation, but she was having a hard time putting her thoughts in place.

“Technically?” Klaus raised a brow, “If you....” He stammered, trying to regain his train of thought, “If you have to use the word technically, you’re already in trouble.”

“Okay, can we go back to Five and Y/N?” Allison tried to change the subject, “Or maybe at least help me save my marriage?”

“That’s like...” Klaus stumbled on his own feet, filling his flask again, as you leaned against Vanya’s chair curiously, “That’s like asking a nun how to hump someone’s leg! I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships? This one?” He asked, pointing at Vanya, “In secret love with some farm Frau!”

“Her name’s Sissy.” Vanya informed him.

“Which is an improvement on her previous love interest.” He said, looking at you and Allison, as you shook your heads to slightly tell him to shut up, “...the serial killer.”

“What?!” Vanya yelled, looking between you and Allison for an explanation, but you just softly waved her off, promising to remind her later.

“And look at this one!” Klaus ignored the three of you, pointing at... well, you, “A fifty year old assassin, who got the chance to be a teen again, but she is too afraid to admit her feelings for the... wait, is Five a boy or a man?”

“Both?” You raised a brow, unsure of the answer.

“Meanwhile, I’m carrying a torch for a soldier I haven’t technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister.” Klaus waved you off, trying to keep his balance again on his feet.

“Okay, again- we are not biological!” Allison tried to defend herself once more, but Klaus simply ignored her.

“Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin.” He said, making all of you nod in agreement, as you couldn’t help but confess, taking another chug out of your flask;

“I can’t believe I got to the point where I was jealous of Dolores.”

Okay, maybe ‘banging’ and ‘jealous’ were strong words, but you had to admit you were not that pleased when one of the first things that Five did when he got back to 2019, was go to some store to get back his plastic girlfriend who kept him company in the four decades he spent all by himself in the apocalypse.

You understood his mind, though. You would have gone insane as well if you had to be all alone after the end of the world, without another soul on the planet. Nonetheless, you still were maybe a tad too happy when he decided to return her to the store.

Leaving you the only woman he had eyes for, unbeknownst to you.

“I’m gonna tell Sissy that I love her.” Vanya suddenly declared, straightening her position confidently.

“You go, girl!” You cheered, clapping for your friend.

“I don’t want any secrets.” She said, making you and the other two nod in agreement, contemplating about your own lives.

“Yeah!” Allison said, getting up with the bottle of alcohol tightly clutched in her hand, “Yeah, yeah- you’re right! Yes, ‘cause, you know- if this all goes tits-up, the least I can do is be honest with my husband!

“Oh, does that mean I have to face my cult?” Klaus sighed, “I just hate group break-ups, it’s why I stopped dating twins!”

You pondered about it for a moment, in your state that was definitely not the most sober. You had a lot of alcohol coursing through your veins, but you felt like maybe it was better. You could think with your heart more than you could think with your brain, and your heart was telling you that your friends were right.

They all are getting themselves ready to take big risks in their lives, why shouldn’t you? They had a valid point; the world was gonna end in six days if you guys couldn’t find a way to solve this. Last time you didn’t have the brightest plan, so why should this time be a success? Reality hit you; there was a real big chance that you might die.

So why not just be honest with Five? What was the worst that could happen? You manage to save the world and Five rejects you? Big deal!

Well, it actually was a big deal.

“What if he rejects me?” You asked all of a sudden, causing the three siblings to turn to you, “What if I tell Five how I feel about him and he rejects me? I know maybe at my age I shouldn’t be this anxious about a man, but... it’s not like I’m going anywhere, I’m glued to the Hargreeves clan.”

And it was true. After the events of the 2019 apocalypse, right before you and the others got separated, you shared an adorable moment in which you confessed to each other how happy you were to have met and be taken into their family as one of their own.

“Normally, I’d say to not ponder on that for too... long.” Klaus slurred, “But given that it’s Five, you don’t even have to worry about that.”

“He’s right.” Allison shrugged, “That won’t be a problem.

“I have no memory of any of you, but from the hug I’ve seen you two share earlier- you’re not just friends.” Vanya spoke up, making you stare into nothingness for a moment.

I mean, it’s Five we are talking about. If he were to have any feelings, it’s not like he’d be honest with them or act, right? It would be up to you to make the first move.

You let out a long sigh, rubbing your hands on your upper arms, reminding yourself of the hug. It may have been the first time you and Five actually hugged, in all the years you’ve known each other. The way he held you close and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, taking in your scent, feeling you in his arms, even if for him it had been only four days. You had to live with the thought that he may be dead for months.

And you hated that, you knew you wanted him alongside you. You wanted that little rude, at times obnoxious dipshit, with a soft heart- as much as he hated to admit it. You loved how much he cared about his family, about saving the world. Five is a great person; he is caring and has a big heart, as much as he tried to hide it behind his trashmouth.

“Fine!” You groaned, letting your head fall backwards, “I’ll tell Five I fucking love him and his dipshit face!”

“Yes!” Klaus clapped, as Allison and Vanya cheered proudly, “Come here!”

You and Vanya walked towards him, as Allison wrapped an arm around his waist, waiting for the two of you to skip towards them, pulling you into a group hug, as “Twistin’ the night away” by Sam Cooke blasted on the radio, causing the four of you to start a small dance party, letting for the first time in a long while your problems just go away.

For the sake of the song.

After a couple more hours of drinking, gossiping and dancing, the four of you decided to finally part ways and attend your promised business. Klaus went to deal with his cult, as Allison decided to be completely honest with her husband at home and Vanya was going to confess to Sissy.

As for you?

You were going to tell Five Hargreeves you were in love with him.

“Hey, dipshit!” You confidently yelled, running up the stairs of the store, trying to find Five.

“Y/N?” Five frowned, walking out of the kitchen with a coffee mug in his hands and a confused look on his face, “Are you... even more drunk? And did you get bangs- what the...?”

“Shut up.” You waved him off, walking towards him to grab the mug out of his hand to sober yourself up, “Why in the hell are you even drinking coffee at this hour?”

“I’m... trying to calm myself...” He frowned, watching as you chugged his freshly poured coffee.

“Normally I’d ask.” You said, setting the mug on the counter, shaking your head, “But right now what I have to say is more important.”

“Is that so?” Five raised a brow curiously, as you slowly slapped your cheeks, trying to get the room to stop moving, “Why don’t you go to bed?” He asked, gently pushing you towards the couch, “And we talk in the morning? I don’t really have time for this.”

“No!” You yelled, stopping in your tracks to poke his chest, “We don’t have to talk! I talk and you- you listen!” You said, poking his chest again, “You never have time for anything, all you can think of is your stupid apocalypse!”

“Oh yes, isn’t that a trivial thing to be thinking of?” He asked with a sarcastic smile, crossing his arms.

“I don’t need your sarcasm!” You yelled, poking his chest a third time, feeling him get more tense.

“I swear to God, Y/N, if you do that one more time-...” Five took in a deep breath, as he could feel as he was slowly losing his patience.

“Shut up!” You groaned, watching as his brows knitted in confusion, “I’m trying to confess my feelings for you, you moron!”

“W...What?” He asked, as his face suddenly softened, unfolding his arms.

“I’m in love with you!” You sighed, rubbing your face, “Okay? I-I am in love with you and I am trying to sober myself up, but I think I may have had too much to drink.”

“You think?” Five scoffed, slowly leading you towards the couch, “Are you sure you’re not saying this just because you have a ton of alcohol coursing through you?”

“Well... kinda, ‘cause if I were sober there was no way in hell I would have confessed.” You puffed, complying, as you let yourself guided by him, “Allison, Klaus and Vanya all convinced me that I should tell you, that we only have six days left on Earth and in case we don’t save it... I shouldn’t be going down with regrets.”

Five listened to your every word carefully, as you continuing venting about how his siblings spent the whole day trying to convince you to tell him about your feelings, as he slowly held your hands, as you took a seat on the couch. He nodded at your words to let you know that he was listening, as he took two pillows off the armchairs beside, placing them at one end, softly pushing you down.

“...and then Klaus said that he hates group breakups.” You said, not even noticing what was going on, feeling your lids get heavier once your head met the pillow.

“Not a surprise there...” Five muttered, grabbing the blanket that was rested on top of the couch, placing it over you.

“Are you trying to dismiss me?” You wondered, but still making yourself more comfortable, as you sat on your side, with your head facing Five, who knelt in front of you tired.

He bit back a smile, watching as you slowly closed your eyes. He knew you were extremely drunk, he could see that in the way exhaust took over you. Not only you had a lot of alcohol in your system, but you’ve also had some long couple of days, and some longer ones were ahead of you until you knew for a fact the world was safe once more.

“I don’t know how it is, that you’re the one person who actually makes me feel... soft.” He confessed, watching your lips curve into a smile at his words, “You... drunken idiot.”

“I regret nothing.” You said proudly, as Five couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, softly stroking your hair to help you fall asleep sooner.

“We’ll see about that in the morning.” He smirked amused, watching as you pouted.

“You never gave me an answer, you know.” You pointed out, letting his soft touch calm you down, as you felt sleep slowly take over you.

“You never gave me a question.” He retorted, knowing for sure that if your eyes were opened, you would roll them at him.

“I think you like to hear me say that I am in love with you, it’s the third time I have to say it.” You said, slowly placing your hands under your pillow, making yourself more comfortable.

“I am happy to see that you still know how to count.” Five said, placing some wild strands of hair behind your ear.

“Screw you.” You said, making him grin, as he went back to stroking your hair.

“In this whole... shitty situation I managed to get myself into, you, Y/N, might as well be the only thing keeping me sane... surprisingly.” Five frowned at the last bit, watching as you opened your eyes, shifting your head to watch him, “I love you too, moron.”

“I never said I love you.” You smirked, teasing him as he rolled his eyes.

“You little chipmunk...” Five sighed, shaking his head in disbelief amused, as you leaned into his touch more, closing your eyes, pleased with yourself.

“Yeah, but you still love me.” You said, not once dropping that smirk on your lips.

“You’re impossible, did you know that?” He wondered, resting his forearm on the couch beside you, as he knelt on the floor, trying to make himself more comfortable, noticing the way you were enjoying the scalp massage... for free.

“A little bit.” You slowly shrugged, wrapping your arms around his, once you felt it beside you.

Five watched with a soft smile as you pulled his arms closer to your face, nuzzling into it with a satisfied smile, happy that you listened to your friends.

And deep down, so was Five thanking his siblings.

[plutoswrath]

Heyy! I was catching up on your NCT rising sign posts and firstly it was sooo cool to see how in-depth u and other go that’s my fav like if u wanna guess risings u can’t just go off of looks! U gotta think any house and planet placements lol the whole thing. I wanted to come here to share my thoughts on Chenle and Heachan specifically bc I recently put a lot of thought into it for some reason lol

For Chenle I know he’s a sag/Scorpio cusp but I rlly think he’s a sag and I was running the numbers and for him to be a sag he would have had to been born after 3pm! I used to be rlly confident he was a cap rising bc he has intense bone structure and eyes but not in a Scorpio way, more in a strict saturn way. But to be a sag puts him past a lot of potential rising signs so the only ones left that have him at sag sun were Aries to Libra. I played around w some of them and I feel like he could be a Gemini rising! It makes sense cuz he’s known for being sooo friendly, bright, curious, and playfully witty and snarky. Here’s the selling point tho, depending on the time it could put his Gemini Saturn in first! Which explains why he looks like a cap rising to me lol

I’m bringing Haechan into this too bc I know a lot of ppl think he could be a Gemini rising and tbh I’d still buy it but I wanted to propose another idea. I think he could def be an Aries rising! And that would put all the sign in their natural house which I think makes sense w his Leo moon in 5th and the Gemini in 3rd etc. and when I try to compare him and Chenle in regards to whose more of a Gemini rising, it makes haechan seem less like one. He does act b Gemini cuz I mean he has 3 Gemini placements lmao..,, but Aries rising are loud, opinionated, independent, but also has that bored or distracted easy Aries thing. Quick temper, very like what I see is what I want. they’re not a curious as Gemini and they can be outgoing but their focus isn’t rlly on like inquiring about people like Gemini?

Anyways that’s my theory lol I just wanted to bounce ideas off someone who gets it! I love theorizing

Hello! Ohh, I love theorizing as well, so this is the place for you haha x

So,I hope it's okay but I think with the recent info that Haechan allegedly confirmed his birth time (which I personally take with a grain of salt because I've read that he apparently talked about his birth time before and said it was around 12 pm so....we gotta take his word here but I think we all generally know one has to be critical with all casual mentioned birth times from celebrities, but guessing peoples rising sign is for fun so in the end it's not that serious and let's have our fun disecting the chart with the info we have now!!) I want to talk about Haechan's rising sign first!

So one thing that always stood out for me when it came to Haechan was that he seemed very sensitive to me. It's almost like it's kinda written on his face when he speaks (or doesn't) and I think by the way he acts (very animated and reactive) it just underlines this sensitivity and just emotional receptivness. So I wasn't really suprised to see that he has a Cancer Mercury. Being a Gemini sun already places a huge empathize on his Mercury sign, and Gemini with the influence of water really makes for some pretty reactive people, because they can be highly sensitive to the words, moods and hidden intentions of others. Makes one really moody as well, especially if it's a Gemini with water influence but that's just a random fun fact I wanted to add on asdfghkl. If we take his alleged birth time into consideration, he'd have not only a Scorpio rising, but also a Pluto in the 1st. I think the look of his eyes can be pretty droopey at times and yet very focused/piercing at the same time, kind of like he challenges you in that sense, and this is certainly a theme I noticed in a lot of Scorpio risings, especially if they have Pluto in the 1st as well (which a lot of second/third decade Scorpio risings have). Also, having his Chart ruler in the 1st and in the opposite of his Sun and Venus would explain why he is kind of 'on and off' in that sense with his energy and moods (when you watch him in interviews with 127 especially, behind the scenes, at vlives, etc), especially him asserting his presence in the room with a Sun opposite Pluto would make a lot of sense (btw, this is all written in a neutral perspective and no critique, this is just me explaining his behaviour with astrology here). Haechan also is extremely 'scheming', even when he just sits and doesn't talk in an interview he seems to think ahead and I think this os something that comes really naturally to him, just connecting the dots and adding his own twists and turns to a conversation and story. Also, his Mercury in the 8th adds to the sensitivity I got from him, and that with his Scorpio rising and Pluto in the 1st really add to his driness at times, just really flat with his responses and reactions (which come pretty quick and surprising as well). And let's not forget his Uranus and Neptune in the 3rd: very distinguished and unique voice, as well as having Uranus in the 3rd would contribute to his 'on and off' switch but generally very high energy he has, especially when having a conversation. Despite that having Sun and Mercury in the 7th in a conjunction makes one really sociable in the sense you could feel the need to communicate and interact with others (especially when the Sun in 7th is involved, outs great empathise on being with others, lack of social connections can result in strong lonliness at worst). Oh and not to forget he'd have a Virgo MC with a Scorpio Ascendant. For me at least, it only adds to the fact that Haechan is really a jack of all traits, Virgo MC people usually come across as pretty capable and are pretty self composed (also can come across as quiet judgy and they don't even notice it).

OKAY I WILL STOP NOW ITH HAECHAN WOWIE LET'S MOVE ON TO CHENLE okay so I think I've mentioned before that I think Chenle's face has strong Cancerian/Jupiterian vibes for me - his bone structure is phenomenal ofc, but I think his face seems kind of 'stretched' (same with Taeil) which is btw not (!) meant in any negative way because that doesn't exclude being pretty ofc. I know an anon before mentioned that they believe he is a Sagittarius rising but with him being a possible Sagittarius Sun that would explain the effect of his Cancer Jupiter! I think I once talked about him reminding me of young Leonardo DiCaprio so much that I just wished for him to be a Libra rising, but to be fair I think an Air Ascendant would make sense for his nature in general. Ex: to have a Libra rising he'd have to be born around 2am, which ofc would make him still a Scorpio but would put his Cancer Jupiter in the 10th house, also in a possible exact conjunction to his MC (and even if not it's still the closest planet to his MC). He'd have his Moon, Mars and Uranus both in the 5th house which would generally explain his extremely friendly nature (if we can believe Johnny's rising and I sadly kinda doubt it tbh because I can see him just trolling us with his birthtime I'm seeing the parallels here) and why it's so easy and probabl also important to him to conenct with others and be on good terms. Generally speaking I find him pretty jolly in nature and I think if he'd have his Jupiter in the 10th, possibly conjunct his MC and an Aqurius stellium in the 5th (+ possible Libra rising) that could be it. He'd have a Scorpio stellium in the 2nd house with his Sun in the 29th degree, and even if this is said to make people closed off, part of Scorpio in the 2nd house is a) maintaing close and intimate relationships is key for them, they really need that and b) they trive on being liked and admired. Not to say that he is fake in that sense (all people are to an extent but that's beside the point) but this can definitely add to a general charisma! But idk if Chenle is actually 'edgy' enough for this potential birth chart, probably not I believe

Another possible rising sign I thought for him was actually Taurus rising, putting his Sun, Mercury and Venus (exactly on the Descendant here if it would be in the 2nd decan) in the 7th house and his Aqaurius stellium in the 10th, Jupiter in the 3rd. With his Sun being already in Sagittarius I think it would add to a natural 'want to feel good' attitude and searching for pleasure and good times in every situation and Aquarius in the 10th can make for very sociable people, even if they feel more introverted in that sense they have an easier time making connections with others, or others feel drawn to their friendly and understanding nature. Also, his Jupiter in the 3rd would be in a trine woth his Venus in 7th (especially if it's on the Descnedant) which can grand him an easy hand with social groups and settings to begin with!

And I really like your idea behind the Gemini rising, depending on the decan, his MC could still be in Aquarius with his Aquarius Mars in the 9th conjunct his MC and his Uranus in the 10th conjunct his MC as well, and again, putting his Moon in the 10th. Idk but his Aquarius stellium being possibly in the 10th just really seems to resonate for me 🤠🤠 Also, having a Sagittarius Sun in the 6th would make him most likely someone who's easier to work with, because these people value having a good and rather lighthearded atmosphere around them. Very enjoyable and loyal as friends and extremely passionate in their work place/when they pursue something their heart is in.

[soulwillower]

crush culture • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

requested: fic where Richie and reader have been best friends since kindergarten, and have always had feelings for eachother secretly, until one day richie gets a girlfriend (just to take his mind off her), and the reader gets jealous and distances herself from him? he obviously gets upset by this- and things go on from there? sorry if it’s too specific! love u!

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of death, fighting, mentions of an abusive relationship, intentionally pissing off richie, a bit of angst, richie is an oblivious idiot, but reader is MUCH more of an idiot, like dude lmao, but i think that’s it, unedited tho

this isn’t rly based off crush culture, but i took the title from conan gray’s song :)  

[losers + reader are 18+ in this!!!]

3.8k words L O L :))

♡

you swear to god, you’re getting sick. that’s what this was, for sure.

it started about a month ago, when you started to get headaches and terrible hollow feelings in your stomach. it happened everywhere - in the line for coffee, in class, driving home from school, at the dinner table. but it got a hundred times worse at night and then seemed to triple in force every morning when you woke.

and it all came at you some time after richie announced he had a new girlfriend.

you were really sick the few days after that, enough that you stayed home from school and laid in bed, the pit in your stomach sinking. it didnt take long for you to realize how bad richie’s girlfriend was - she treated him like a dog, like he embarrassed her - and he didn’t even seem to mind. he just brushed off every offhand comment, rolled his eyes with a grin when she told him she didn’t want to see his friends or when she told him to stop talking. 

he still seemed to like her, anyways. and that thought made your stomach convulse.

so then you had to distance yourself from richie because it hurt you to see him with her. it hurt you to see him with someone who didn’t treat him like the incredible person he was. 

so yeah.

you say you’re sick, but you know that’s not really true. it’s easier than accepting reality at this point, though, so you spew this nonsense (to yourself, mostly) in order to justify ignoring your best friend of nearly a decade because christ, he is becoming unbearable.

like the other day, at lunch while you were all sitting in the courtyard. it was your first time eating with them again after almost a week and a half, as you’d been eating alone in your car recently to avoid richie. “rich, why’d you take off the nail polish?” bev asked, out of the blue, sounding disappointed as she grabbed his free hand and examined it.

he blew smoke out of his mouth slowly and you had forced yourself to look away, the sight of richie doing nearly anything these days being pretty dangerous for you. it also made you sigh a bit - you knew he only smoked at lunch now, since his girlfriend hated it.

“don’t want my paws to be prettier than y/n’s when we hold hands.” he had joked, wagging an eyebrow at you. you’d shook your head and looked to the ground in lew of a real response, just as you had been doing a lot recently.

you'd missed richie’s frown at your reaction, but you did catch his next statement as it was added on, “nah, actually it’s because the ol’ G-F didn’t like it. thought it looked too girly.”

you, stan, bev, and mike all stopped chewing to look at richie, in varying stages of bewilderment. you'd cleared your throat quickly but decided against speaking up just as richie’s phone started to ring. he’d answered it nearly immediately, the enthusiasm of which made you feel like you’re going to be sick again - because richie never answers your calls until the last possible minute.

god, jealousy is a fucking disease.

“hey, sugar.” he had purred suavely into the phone and for some reason, hearing him call someone else sugar had you abruptly rising, gathering your things and nearly running off to put as much distance between you and four-eyes as you possibly could, because you’re not sure how much more you could take.

after that, you were absolutely sure it was just pure denial on your part.

as far as you could tell, richie wasn't noticing too much. he still phoned your house every day, just to be met with your mother telling him you 'weren't available,' and then he'd call your own phone, which you'd let buzz itself into a dark hole on your bedside table while you stared at it solemnly, guilt heavy on your mind as he left voicemail after voicemail. 

he doesn't deserve it, you think as you open the doors to the school library, backpack on your shoulders. but you can't help it. you're not his girlfriend, and you're not mature enough to accept that with any ounce of elegance so instead you just ignore him all together. at least you're self-aware, right? that ought to count for something.

you shake your head just as a voice catches your attention, “well look who decided to show up!”

richie's sitting at the usual study table in the very back corner of the library, a spot tucked away by rows upon rows of dusty books and an alcove of couches. bill sits at the head of the table, scribbling his chicken scratch handwriting onto graph paper, mike next to richie with a textbook spread out flat. across from mike is stan, writing out his statistics work. 

all three of them wave at you before going back to their work, whereas richie just watches you expectantly. his feet are kicked up on the table, textbook balanced on his lap as he hovers on two leg chairs. his smile is as blinding as always, a dimple faint on his left cheek and full eyebrows raised in jest. his curls frame his face perfectly and you want to scream.

but you take your seat next to stan with a tight lipped smile, not really sure how to respond to richie. are you even allowed to be flirty with him like you used to? he still does it on the rare occasions when you do see each other - but that itself is the issue, you figure. his flirting is just a joke, a tiff from one friend to another. but you can't see him as just a friend, and that’s unfair to him.

so you stay quiet, which makes it infinitely more awkward.

richie clears his throat and you pull out your work with an awkward expression, the minutes slowly churning by in what has to be the quietest hangout with the Losers yet.

you feel the tension building in your body and in the air, and you're not sure what's wrong with you or why you have so much resentment towards richie in this moment, because he's not done one single thing to offend anyone in the last ten minutes.

then richie's phone rings suddenly and mike jumps a bit as he's startled out of the passage he's reading. you all look down to richie's screen, where his girlfriend's name blares up at you and all you can feel is white hot jealousy coursing through your body.

richie looks half way exhausted and annoyed at the call, which you find extremely odd and out of character, not to mention persistently frustrating.

as you all stare at the phone, the tension in the room stretches tighter and tighter, like a rubber band and you can't breathe -

"uh, why is she calling you?" mike asks, as if this was something that was forbidden or shocking in any way, and for some reason, that is finally it.

the rubber band snaps.

"how could you forget, mike? they're in love!" you say with mock enthusiasm. 

bill shoots you an alarmed look that you probably should read into or at least consider for a moment, but instead you're looking directly at richie, as if challenging him.

he blinks at you and clenches his jaw, "she and i haven't really been... talking recently." richie says lightly, shooting a glance to mike.

“well then maybe you’re just not right for each other.” you quip, the blood boiling in your veins. richie's eyes snap to you and you see the fire behind them as he suddenly breaks.

“sorry, did i miss the divine intervention when god floated down on a cloud of marshmallows and deemed you expert in relationships?” he says abruptly, making your eyes widen at his outburst. he continues, “because last time i checked, you’re a bit of a failure in that department. so i don't need some jealous, disappearing-act wannabe criticizing my life when she's barely even in it.” he seethes. it’s near quiet in the library anyways, but his words seem to silence the entire town.

with a quick glance to your right, stan and bill sharing an uncomfortable look, and mike is staring down intently at his work with wide eyes.

you want to die.

does richie know? has he known this whole time that you're just deeply, painfully head over heels for him? 

"i'm so sick of your bullshit. maybe you're jealous because you want what i had, but you’re being really fucking rude."

you nearly cry. or scream.

“criticism doesnt equal jealousy, okay?” you spit without thinking, immediately regretting even opening your mouth. you're so intent on covering for yourself, you don't even take into account the phrasing he'd used when referring to his girlfriend, instead fighting with richie in order to keep your secret from him.  

this is not how you’d intended today to go. he stares at you, eyebrows furrowed in a way that almost makes you keel over in sadness, the guilt of the situation falling too heavily on your shoulders and crushing you.

it’s tranquilizing to see him like this -  he's fuming, but he's also got bright, glistening eyes which you think may be filling up with tears.

“i didn’t really ask for your input, though.” he mutters, cheeks reddening as tears definitely well in his eyes behind his lenses. “you can’t just ignore me at your every whim just to come right back and tell me what's good for me.”

you blink, shaking your head quickly, deciding to back off. now is not the time to fight, especially when you know he’s right. you had no idea it was hurting him like this. "richie, i... i just wanted-" you gape at him, extremely embarrassed.

“-i don’t fucking care what you wanted, y/n.” richie says sharply, causing you to shut your mouth so quick your jaw clicks in the silence. clearly, even the other boys are perturbed by richie’s actions and everyone’s staring down in silence at their homework.

it’s quiet like that for a few minutes, the tension so thick that you’d need a jackhammer just to chip away at it. but stan rummages through his bag suddenly, pulling out two painkillers and dry swallowing them. you don't look at anyone else, your stomach hollow and your heart thumping so hard in your chest you think you may explode.

"d-do you have a headache?" bill asks, looking at stan with concern. the sudden voice causes you to perk up, head flowing with humiliation at the fight you and richie had just had in front of your friends.

“yeah, but it’s not that bad. i guess i’m used to it.” stan says, pen between his teeth.

“just because you’re used to something doesn’t make it any less unhealthy for you.” you say louder than necessary, your mouth suddenly deciding to speak without consulting your brain. 

the glare of pure frustration that richie throws you pierces your lungs and suddenly makes you feel lightheaded. 

your pettiness doesn’t go unresponsive, of course, and mike sighs into his hands, standing up to gather his things. "alright. i can't study when you two are like this. i'll see you guys later."

richie sighs quietly and bill and stan mumble good-bye's. the library goes back to quiet for maybe three more minutes, until you see stanley start to fidget like he usually does when he's anxious. and then you notice it after a few seconds, too.

richie won't stop tapping his foot on the desk.

for everyone's sake, you try to ignore it, because you know richie can't help his compulsions - especially when he's upset (which, your mind painfully reminds you, is all your fault).

but it's driving you crazy.

“-if you keep doing that i’ll throw you out that fucking window rich, i swear.” stan mutters not unkindly, his eyes rolling to meet richie with a concerned gaze as richie stares out the window.

you raise your eyebrows, “what’re you even looking at?” you ask, trying to mend a bit of the open, festering wound you’d created in you and richie’s friendship.

without looking at you, richie shrugs. “checking to see how high the drop is. may be worth it to have schnoz just toss me down. it would certainly do you a favor right? gettin ol’ trashmouth gone for good.”

what was he saying? you look at him, scandalized. stan and bill don’t even say anything about the offensive nickname as you gape at richie. "what the fuck?" is all your brilliant mind can think.

"what, you can dish it but you can't take it?" richie says sharply. he shakes his head, looking upset. "i'm tired of trying to be friends with a fucking brick wall."

then he's gathering his one notebook and swiftly exiting your alcove in the library in a wind of cigarettes and cologne. 

you blink, his words sinking in and making you sigh shakily. your stomach feels hollow as you remember the expression of glee on his face when you'd walked into the library, and how completely different and broken he'd looked as he'd left. you think you're going to cry.

“every minute that you don't follow him digs yourself deeper into this grave, you know.” stan says, giving you a stern but encouraging look.

you let out a shaky sigh and scramble to grab your bag, tripping over your feet as you run out of the library, flying down the staircase faster than you've ever gone and making it to your lifelong best friend just as he reaches his car in the parking lot.

"-a brick wall?" you ask, out of breath. you see richie hold back an eye roll, his arms crossing over each other as he serves you a look of discomposure.

he shrugs helplessly, looking as if he's at his wit's end.

"what do you want me to say, y/n? you've been avoiding me for weeks. i know i'm annoying and obnoxious and whatever, but i'm not blind." he says, making you swallow as guilt pangs through your chest. you have been so fucking selfish, haven't you?

it hurts to hear him say that about himself. 

he sniffles a bit, sounding choked up as he goes on, "i've had a rough couple of days - weeks, even. but every time i'm near, it's like you've had more than enough, and you just leave. am i that repulsive? why do you suddenly hate me?" he asks, looking desperate as his eyes rim red, filling with tears again.

“what did i do?” his voice cracks as he whispers the sentence and your heart breaks in two.

your own vision goes glassy as he continues, "-i've needed you, y/n/n. i'm lost, i'm seriously not okay and you just don't care at all."

you're stunned for a moment, mouth opening and closing silently as your mind races to rush something out, anything,because you aren't sure you can bear to see richie look at you like this for one more second. but your silence comes off wrong to richie, and tears slip out of his eyes.

“don’t you love me?” he asks, voice hoarse and cutting right through you, deeper than any knife ever could. "don't you want me to be happy?" he adds and you take a shaky breath, looking helplessly at him, where you're met with nothing but glassy eyes and tear trails. your heart is slamming in your chest, tears falling from your eyes and you can't breathe.

"a-are you?" you ask, trying to keep your tone even although it comes out just as vulnerable as you feel. “h-happy. with her?”

richie freezes at your words, mouth slightly open and you watch a single tear course over his high cheekbones and down to his bottom lip as it shakes faintly. you curse yourself for the longing to feel those very lips against yours.

"i was." he whispers, voice shaking as he rubs his face with his hand under his glasses, the moisture of his fallen tears clinging from his long dark lashes onto his slender, shaking fingers. "and then - and then i lost you. and y'know, i got my girlfriend so i could distract myself, but she made me feel like absolute shit all the time and so i went and broke up with her, but -" he hiccups through his tears and you blink, biting your lip as tears cascade down your cheek in wet trails.

they broke up?

he broke up with her, and he's going through this breakup and trying to better himself after she tore him down and you've just been ignoring him - he thinks you don't care about him, that you don't love him. you start to cry harder. 

"-i thought she'd distract me from you. i-i'm sorry." he says, his voice muffled by his hands as they cover up his angelic face, his shoulders shaking as more tears fall. "i'm so sorry."he repeats. 

you see double for a second, completely shocked by his words as the breath leaves your lungs. he tried to distract himself from you... and he’s so hurt because of what you did. 

but finally, for the first time this whole damn day, you find the right words. "i-no, richie, i'm sorry, please - fuck." you break, letting out a sob as you rub your eyes furiously in search of any relief from the guilt ripping you in two. "i didn't mean to hurt you. i'm so sorry, i can't believe i did this, i didn't want to hurt you, i'm just so selfish." you babble, his sniffles making you open your eyes.

he looks so alone and so vulnerable as he hugs his arms around himself in search of comfort, tears still falling from his bright eyes and down his rosy cheeks. 

he looks devastatingly beautiful in the golden sunlight of the afternoon, a breeze ruffling his curls lightly. "just please, i can't - i can't deal with you hating me. please, please, please."

he's pleading with you and you think you may be sick from the guilt and sadness that envelopes you, so you spring forward and wrap your arms tightly around him. the force of your body pushes him against the side of his car and the way he clings back to you like you're the last thing holding him to earth just makes you cry even harder.

"i don't hate you, richie. i love you, i love you too much." you say, your body shaking as he just holds you tighter against him. "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean any of it. you're right. i was just jealous... i'm so sorry. i was so jealous of her, i couldn't see you be with her." you mumble. "i'm so sorry."

richie pulls you back gently at your words, his eyes wide and wondering as you look at each other. "what?" he asks so innocently, his eyelashes wet and dark and his lips parted. 

you can count the freckles on his nose and cheeks, you're so close. you can feel his shuddering breath against your face as he huffs in a breath. your hands hold onto his shoulders and you decide to fuck it, you just have to tell him how sorry you are, to explain yourself.

"richie, i'm in love with you. and - and when you and her got together, it hurt so much, and i didn't want to deal with the fact that i couldn't have you, so i just ignored you. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry." you say it quickly and in one breath, looking down at your shoes and how they point straight towards his.

"you're in... love with me?" he says weakly, sounding hopeful as you finally look back into his eyes guiltily. 

you laugh wetly, "of course i am, richie. how could i not fall head over heels for everything about you?"

he tears up again at your words, but this time it's accompanied by a beautiful smile and a light, wet laugh. he shakes his head, his arms circling your waist tighter as he presses his forehead against yours. your butterflies tickle your stomach at your proximity.

"fuck, y/n. i can't believe i spend my time trying to get my mind off you." he says and your breath hitches a bit. "do you have any idea how long i've been in love with you?" he asks quietly, and you let out another small laugh out of shock, but it's wet and gleeful.

"i'm sorry." you whisper, your finger curling around a strand of the dark hair on his head. he shakes his head, your noses rubbing slightly. "it's okay, y/n. i love you so much. please let me forgive you." he says, pulling a smile out of you that you don't think anybody else ever could. you nod shortly, looking into his eyes as one last tear falls. 

he kisses you tenderly then, taking your breath away.

richie fills up your every sense as he clings to you desperately, his lips salty from your combined tears and his arms strong. his tongue is gentle as it runs along your lips and enters your parted mouth, one of his hands sliding up to tilt your head up towards him. you're breathless because of him for the millionth time in your life and you decide kissing richie is the only thing you want to do forever. 

you pull away slowly, and as you lean back he presses a chaste second kiss to your lips, causing you to grin. 

you barely make eye contact as you pull apart and then you greedily pull him back to you, his lips finding yours yet again with a sweet, loving laugh.

"i love you too, rich." you mumble against his lips. he sighs almost dreamily as you pull back, biting your lip and laughing when he opens the passenger door, gesturing to it with a shy grin.

"now can i please buy you a burger?" he asks, almost bashfully, and your heart does somersaults. you nod and kiss him again, his hand falling to the small of your back, palm wide and fingers lower than you'd expected. he pulls away and his grin is loving, his eyes hooded in pride as you caress his cheek softly before you slide into the car seat.

he holds your hand the whole night and refuses to let go until you slip through your front door at near midnight, blushes on both of your cheeks and lips kiss-bruised.

the butterflies you feel as you fall asleep with a grin on your face are the exact same ones richie feels as his head finally hits the pillow, a giddy smile on his own face as he smiles to himself in the dark halfway across town.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx@brxken-heartsclub @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby  @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier   @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s  @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 12 rewatch thoughts

- I would like to thank them for keeping in din’s harried yet triumphant ‘hAH!!’ when he gets the explosives to stick to gideon’s ship in the ‘hey remember when this happened last season’ section, that was a nice gesture from the showrunners to me personally, I assume

- this episode actually helped me find more enjoyment in the last one, because it’s such a nice reassurance that even though they’re pulling in more stuff from other star wars media this show won’t suddenly stop being its own thing and mando won’t suddenly stop being himself and it’s very comforting to me somehow haha

- the small hesitation before din calls out “do you... do you have the wire?” lol lol lol he’s completely aware of the bizarreness of what he’s doing here but hey being alive is already so damn weird etc. 

the softness of his voice the whole way through and the fact that he never, never blames the baby for not being able to do what shouldn’t really be asked of him in the first place, tho... ;____;  

- the tiny exasperated head tilt din does when he realizes the hatch isn’t going to extend all the way fdslkfhasdlashfs  

- din is looking down at the baby the entire time while greef talks to the mechanics ❤️❤️❤️

(the baby seems pretty drawn to/excited to see greef again and mando seems to notice which is extremely cute. he’s becoming really good at tuning in with the kid) 

he also greets cara baby first in much the same way as he does peli, like he knows what the main attraction here is lol, they do a very sweet bro nod at each other. god I wish gina carano wasn’t so terrible imagine if we could just have this BrOTP without hesitations :( 

I think greef is actually a bit worried to begin with after seeing the ship, he sort of takes din in intently before he huffs a little laugh and grabs his arm. it must be a bit stressful to be his friend and not be able to see his expression right away when you worry something might be seriously wrong haha

- people are finally treating the baby like you would a real baby and it’s such a blessing, everyone talking and cooing at him and baby babbling back

(I wonder if greef has children of his own? he does have an undeniable air of experienced grandpa about him in this episode, it’s adorable)  

- din does so much talking -- unprompted, even! -- these days, it truly is an embarrassment of riches 

- capital E Emotional about this shot with IG-11 right behind din and cara inviting him into the school in front of him. some past carried with us into the future shit going on here  

IG-11′s legacy’s still got our back y’all :’) I swear to god if gideon blows up nevarro at some point I’m going to lose it 

the ‘oh yeah?/that so?’ way din leans his head back after she says “wait until you see inside” is also amazing

- baby reaching out his hand like ‘can have?’ is so polite ;______; he takes after his father (including in the ‘fool me twice, I’ll fuck you up’ department haha. listen you get one chance to be cool about it and then no more mr nice mando/baby)

-

go ahead, kid, make a fuss about it. who are you going to tell, huh? who’s going to believe you? you gonna tell them you got bested by a baby? a magic baby? no? that’s right. I took your dignity as easily as I took your macarons, there’s nothing you can do to change it, and now you gotta live with that. sweet dreams.

(this is a joke. the baby is not evil. I hate that I even have to specify this but I’ve seen some stupid shit in the tags in my time you guys haha) 

- I can’t work out what anything on greef’s desk is supposed to be, but if that’s a computer it’s got to be older than even the razor crest lol

- friends: din yes?

mando: din no, only repairs

friends: din yes please?

mando: ... [sigh] din yes 

he truly has next to no defense against people he actually likes asking him for something huh lol. well a self care co-op mission clearly did him a world of good in this one at least it’s all fine

- “I’m starting to dehydrate, Boss” is an excellent line and delivered perfectly, I cackle every time (”You park your gills right there until I say otherwise” is a good runner up too) 

- it’s so nice to see the small moments of communication between them in this one after mando was so out of sync with the team in the last one (and tbf those guys didn’t even try to give him any pointers at all, they really left him to flounder through the whole thing if you watch it carefully haha)

- the mythrol’s jacket still looks so comfy, I want one

- aaaaah the way din says “I don’t like this” is just so... hnnngh it’s perfect, there’s a vulnerability and openness to it for a moment. greef glances over at him like he hasn’t heard him sound like this before too, which just sells it even more

u ok bro?

you know shit’s fucked up when din djarin expresses an emotion without even being forced to by circumstance (I think what I mean is that it’s actually really rare for him to state how he feels about something just to do it, usually his communication is more practically oriented, more along ‘I think this is the best cause of action because of a and b’ lines, or like when he tells omera he’s grateful it’s... more to inform her of it and make sure she knows than to express himself? but he’s starting to do it more with people he trusts now and it gets me in the heart? man I’m finding this hard to articulate let’s move on lol)

- I really, really wonder about pershing’s position in all of this. his plea for the child’s life did sound genuine -- he did try to guard him with his own noodly scientist body when he thought din was out to hurt him, remember -- but is that only because he knows he’s in deep shit himself without the blood the baby can give? is he maybe not quite cool with whatever gideon has him doing? (he does sound quite strained when he talks about the ‘body’ rejecting the transfusion and the ‘volunteer’ potentially suffering the same fate... hm.)

idk why I want there to be something redeemable in him so bad, maybe it’s just my weird yet enduring attachment to ladon radim in stargate atlantis messing with me they’re kind of similar in some ways (yeah don’t ask me I don’t know either sometimes the heart wants what it wants in ways reason can’t explain)

- tfw ur literally launching yourself across a pool of boiling lava because you’re Dad and your baby’s in danger T__________T he just does not stop running towards that kid for even a single second help

- there’s something so innocently pure and... old fashioned? about the scene with mythrol and greef screaming the entire time they drive off the cliff, it feels like something out of a movie from like three decades ago. that whole segment feels a bit like that, it’s just there to be fun and that’s okay sometimes

- every dog fight in every movie should have a baby nonchalantly snacking on a cookie in them, it elevates the experience immeasurably (he squishes his nose a little bit with the macaron when he misses his mouth at one point, which is more than anyone should be expected to bear honestly)

I love that even all fixed up again the razor crest groans and creaks like an old tired thing when din makes it flip to dive, he 100% did take out a bunch of ferraris in his stalwart morris minor of a spaceship and I treasure him     

- there’s so much life and emotion in din’s voice here I can’t!!!! I simply can’t!!!! imagine if we get to hear him openly laugh one day, would I even survive it??!!!!

 also the kid makes such pitch perfect ‘having my lil nose wiped and whining about it’ baby noises when din uses his cape to clean him up (din does turn the autopilot on before he turns around to deal with it, for those who, like me, worry about these things) 

- between carson showing up and the stuff the droid talks about in the lesson they’re doing quite a bit of outer rim vs. core worlds theme building in this one, I wonder if this is going to ramp up more or what

- god but gideon’s theme SLAPS tho 

he’s probably going to try to fuck up everything I love but you can’t fault him on the tunes he’s going to do it to 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

watched the end of some guy’s amnesia: rebirth playthrough and i have some boring thoughts @halloweenhavoc have u finished the game i feel like you have more of a grasp on all this stuff than i do lmfao what with having actually played it and also probably remembering machine for pigs better

i really did not like fully piece together either the lore of the Main Story of the game nor the broader Amnesia Universe Lore lmfao but i was interested in the latter especially, but re: the former, i did like having all these other Known People associated with the protag whose fates we could all find out and shit

i’m like, sort of underwhelmed, but that’s b/c even though i was like “okay so just b/c this is a frictional-produced amnesia sequel a decade later doesn’t mean you need to hype it up like it’s gonna blow your mind just coz atdd was That big a deal” doesn’t mean i still wasn’t partially like oh but what if it is like mindblowing horror game tho......it felt a lot more like soma than atdd which isn’t in itself bad b/c soma rules but when i’m expecting it to be more like atdd it just makes things kinda bemusing and hard to recalibrate.....it was a good game though lol just like the whole time trying to figure out what the experience is gonna be i guess

anyways so like in the direction frictional’s games have gone it def feels like they’re more into Game Environments (those ruled in this game....) and being very like Thematic Story-Centric.....atdd was very stripped down and they sure got creative with that and it was as effective as it was but yeah it feels like now that they have the clout from that and the game production experience and presumably more resources and stuff that they’re progressing in This Direction which is not as atdd-esque lmao like good for them if this is the creative vision, follow those dreams and stuff

did not feel at all invested in any of this baby lore lmfaooo like it was very abstract and also i don’t care. but 10/10 for breastfeeding gameplay

i did like the Other World lore like. this is where alexander is from, Maybe?? i remember he’s mentioned as an apostate from [somewhere else] but like, is that somewhere else in another dimension or just another Region in this world lmao i don’t know. out here Inventing the amnesia potion vitae harvesting strategy, and then it’s Something Else he does that is considered heinous and they just banish him to earth lmfaooo like our problem now......and who is alexander’s wife lmfao. in atdd bad ending, when alexander portals back, does he get to come back to the shitty place where nothing’s going on but eternal vitae harvest i guess? sucks. in atdd sorta-neutral-ending, when you toss agrippa’s head through the portal and then agrippa asks [someone, i forget who....the student? weyer? or whoever??] to Help Daniel, does everyone get to go to this crappy world or are there other better dimensions lmao....also i forget how this The Other World got so shitty in the first place. something something they flew too close to the sun with their technology and it got fucked up, i forget what The Gate even is........i do like this origin story for what the fuck is up with the shadow lmfao. that like, it’s just some other alchemical Invention expressly to fuck up the vitae system?? which is sort of counter to the idea that it’s simply a Guardian of any orbs.....but then also, there was some sort of note or memory that seemed to imply that having fucked up whatever Gate they fucked up created something that sounded like maybe it was the shadow?? or was it just something Else fucked up and b/c it was like “uh oh something shitty is happening here now” i just Assumed it was the shadow.....idfk. but idk maybe since Orbs are Other World Tech For Portals the shadow is just like, Other World Tech Ruiner and if you handle one improperly the shadow will like, sense orb-jostling Lol and be On It....i don’t knowwww

i gotta admit i did love the lore tying to atdd lmfao like maybe this game would’ve been better off not really being tied to atdd but i’m still like oh yep i’m a sucker for cameos / lore about these atdd people places and things.....herbert, alexander, daniel, brennenburg, and someone else i forget who was like “i’m the first human to get to this place but i don’t have A Traveller’s Whatever so i have to die here,” rip to him.....kinda funny that vitae-harvesting is like, so Industrialized in the other world with this factory and mass-produced as it were, which is Fucked Up, and alexander got shot to earth for some mysterious terrible thing and had to invite some rando with an orb to his castle and then get his help torturing other randos with medieval instruments like. banging rocks together over there. also i don’t get what the harvesters job was? they were sure Harvesting but if the vitae is just getting Sucked thru tubes why are these guys going around breathing it in also. just like, stray air-vitae filtering system?? idk

also what was going on time-wise with this weird accelerated pregnancy. i don’t think i get Why tasi got amnesia in the first place. coincidence i guess??? and why...did she end up back in the plane wreckage. was that just where she got dropped off after they were all like. taken from Our World into the Other World and then....back into our world?? i guess??? i’m just not clear on the Timeline Of Events and how everyone got split up with some people dying and shit....was everyone getting attacked by ghuls i guess. there was a crapload of them in that one place, wasn’t there.....i also forget Where things happened lmfaooo like shit was this in Earth or The Other World.....i guess the latter it was always like, “high tech” with that art deco design shit and green light and stuff.....god i don’t know. like i already forget why richard was like, held captive and tortured. just on evil principle??? augh lmfao

also it was certainly Interesting that people turn into monsters around here with some like, magic + corruption deal going on......felt like the Lore in atdd was sort of vague but that it could Maybe tie into that sort of idea....frictional games sure will like, Metaphorically have the Self and the Non-Self But Which Is Tied To Your Self in all its stories, atdd, soma, rebirth......daniel having this past self he’s now detached from but re-learning of his past exploits.......soma copy/pasting consciousnesses.......uhhh also when it was talking about the ideal Vitae Collecting Cycle being fear, amnesia, and then Hope, and about who was the best candidates for that, i was really thinking that like, we’d learn tasi was being put through a [Hope] sequence, basically

also (rachel if ur reading this lmfao) i remember this pre-release Audio Tape that wasn’t in the gameplay that i think was like, the doctor doing an experiment on a Monster to confirm it had regenerative properties?? i thought we were gonna get a whole fucked up subplot dealing with that guy lmfao but nah just at the end......i guess soma’s promotional stuff was similar, they had all these Files and Videos and stuff which was relevant to the Lore / story but which wasn’t like, flatout in the game......i guess at some point the doctor must’ve been like, experimenting on a crew member who was sort of in the process of Turning or w/e. hank or someone i guess.....UHHH i did like “talking” to so many monsters lmfaooo like leon and crap. wild, tragic, etc.......

RIGHT and i think frictional is really creative in its like, Game Mechanics, like how relatively recently we learned that that whole thing about being told that Low Sanity makes you easier to detect in atdd, but that wasn’t true and was just put in the game to put the player more on edge? i mean, daniel keeling over for a moment if sanity gets too low is probably unhelpful in a chase but. and like, here the “sanity” thing was neat, i liked the Sound lol, i liked the flashing images and how that was like, Relevant, but also it seems like you can’t ever die in this game?? basically, ish?? which i think is neat. like, you don’t really Need to.....said it last time how it feels like the player just is still going to react as Urgently if they’re being chased by the monster lmfaooo

idk there was something other neat / creative element i think i wanted to point out as Cool but i forget (HAHA...manesima.....) i dunno the 0.0001% chance any of you are Coincidentally into amnesia at all and know what all is being talked about here and have thoughts....feel free to send me an ask or whatever.......would be inchrested in hearing other takes on it etc

OH and it didn’t feel like machine for pigs was involved at all lmfao which makes sense since it wasn’t actually produced by frictional but now i’m really struggling to remember the Lore there and if it could Conceivably tie in with descent/rebirth-verse.......oswald’s soul got actually split with Evil Orb-Corrupted Self (which!!!! i forgot there’s even the implication that maybe orb-proximity fucks you up. didn’t seem that relevant here. here magic empress fountain water fucks you up) and Amnesia’d Good (Normal-er) Self and there’s the giant machine which is gonna.....consume the world to protect it from self-destructing in another way......or, that was the reason given to oswald anyways, i remember he like sacrifices his kids to it to save them from [his visions of ww1 being an impending thing] and he doesn’t find that out till the end......his evil self tricked his good self into firing up the machine......i forget where the pig men come from or what their point is, and the machine is like, another Factory Line Vitae Harvesting thing, right?? what’s the vitae For in this case....i sure don’t fuckin know. i forget what oswald does at the end as well to like, fix things, i remember feeling sad about it even though he was a horny weirdo.....i really forget what the full picture was there or what the Orb Involvement was. anyways. idk

would be fun to see more frictional games but it seems like they’re not too interested in doing something as atdd-esque again lol, soma seems more like What Frictional Really Wants To Do, which isn’t a bad thing cuz soma rules and like. objectively i guess soma is the better game, i’m not at all mad at anyone arguing soma is better lmfao, i just sure cherish atdd and it sure is the one that made the whole [subsequent horror game defining] splash lmfao. OH YEAH and i liked they threw in another moment where someone’s been alive for ages and you unplug them and it’s like what the fuck. and i guess you do that but even Harder in the one Rebirth ending where you shadow-infect everything and all the people in the vitae-pods die......which like, it Was def creepy having all those vitae pods lmfao. conceptually fucked up.....uh yeah that’s it i guess. was a sucker for the atdd-lore-fanservice stuff lol. thought it was good but wasn’t like atdd 2.0 which is both Totally Fine and also A Bit Disappointing Of Course lol. now i’m thinking about soma some more though which is Worthy cuz that game rules and i love its story / concepts so much. and i love that you keep fisting sphincters to Save until you have to fist your forearm off. we’ve all been there. and i love the “we have the better view. :)” audio log from someone on the surface. and how the gradual reveal of the [lady you talk to throughout the game who guides you along]’s story. and the Ending. and the gradual reveal of Just What Is Going On Around Here

anyways yeah atdd rules soma rules i thought this game was good too but def is like okay you’d rather make soma than atdd and that is valid

thots????????????????

[kebinwooo]

get to know me q&a !!

aaaaaahhhhhhh thank you @theyoungflexer for tagging me! i haven’t been tagged in one of these in ages so this is gonna be fun hehe also this game is gonna make me seem so old bc like.... i became a kpop fan in 2008/2010 sooooooo.... (i’m not even that old! i’m a 99 liner!!!!! but also i’m a jaded fan by now lol) (also i talk a lot but my stories are elaborate so i’m sorry in advance if you read this ahah)

1. What was your first kpop song?

technically my first “kpop” song was super junior m’s chinese version of “U” but if we’re talking first actual kpop song, it would be super junior’s sorry sorry LOL

2. How did you discover kpop?

NOW THIS IS A STORY. so back in 2008, i always watched chinese variety shows on tv bc they were the only channels we got at home. so one day i was watching a show and there was a group of cute boys who appeared and i was like !!! and then i followed them for a bit through these shows but then like i eventually forgot about them. but then in 2010, there were some reruns airing and i found out the group i liked back in 2008 was called super junior m. at the time, i didn’t realize the ‘m’ was important so i just searched up super junior on youtube. and then it was a downward spiral from there and a decade later, i’m still stuck here in this blackhole yep

3. Who was your first female (kpop) bias?

oh god.... do i even remember? i think it was probably victoria from f(x) or something. i honestly don’t remember bc i was anti-gg (LIKE A FOOL) back then so i didn’t really follow girl groups

4. Who was your first male (kpop) bias?

technically hangeng caught my attention first in SJM when i found out about them in 2008 but henry was my first official bias (it’s funny tho, i was literally watching some videos of henry today and telling my friend about how he’ll always hold a special place in my heart)

5. Who was your first favorite kpop group?

surprise surprise, it was super junior LOL 

6. Current favorite boy/girl band?

Monsta X, Seventeen, and U-Kiss hehe

7. Loved them since?

OK STORY TIME 

U-Kiss: i found them through a kpop mashup in like 2010 LMAO and i loved manmanhani and bingeul bingeul and shut up but all separately. i didn’t realize they were even by the same group until later LOL then i forget why but i started following them more closely some time between the 0330 and neverland eras and i’ve been a loyal kissme since hehe they’re my forever ults

Seventeen: i learned about svt during their first showcase in like 2013 ish?? i really liked their concept and since they were close in age to me i was like !!!!!! but their debut kept getting pushed back, and back then it was hard to get videos subbed so i stopped following them. then in like 2015 i heard they were FINALLY debuting and i got excited and got back into them after adore u came out so ye i’ve been following these boys ever since

Monsta X: my most recent ults hehe ^^ so i knew of monsta x bc my friend watched no.mercy (their survival show) but i got secondhand pissed with her bc she said the show was rigged and she wasn’t completely happy with the final lineup. but i also knew of them bc of svt and the boys are friends (WHICH IS GREAT I LOVE IDOL FRIENDSHIPS, ESPECIALLY MONTEEN’S) but i never followed them. then in 2016, after fighter came out, i somewhat got into them bc i liked fighter and i started casually following them and i even watched like episodes of monsta x ray and right now for them but still wasn’t super into them. but then in the fateful summer of 2018, i was super bored bc i had nothing to do and i heard mx ray 3 was coming out so i binge watched literally all of mx ray and mx ray 2, realized I LOVE THESE SEVEN BOYS and then i officially became a monbebe (and also regretted not getting into them sooner)

8. Favorite member of them?

U-Kiss: technically my ult is kevin but i’m starting to realize it’s jun (i will literally do ANYTHING for that boy)

Seventeen: joshua, mingyu, wonwoo (my bias trinity LOL)

Monsta X: CHANGKYUN >:( fun fact: i accidentally became a changkyun stan bc i made a joke that he was my bias and then it came true and i’ve never been the same since. i am on constant fight mode with this boy >:(

9. Favorite song by them?

U-Kiss: OH GOD SO MANY. but 0330, neverland, and someday (which is my all-time favorite song) are some of my faves

Seventeen: this was hard too... but i’m going with pinwheel, pretty u, good to me, and run to you 

Monsta X: QUEEN MOHAE, livin it up, dramarama, destroyer, and lost in the dream

(I HATE THESE QUESTIONS. I CAN’T CHOOSE. THESE AREN’T EVEN ALL MY FAVORITE SONGS)

10. Name some groups you’d like to recommend.

/CLAPS HANDS TOGETHER/ OH BOY. MY 10 YEARS OF KPOP EXPERIENCE COMING THROUGH.

first off, definitely U-Kiss. these boys are so underrated it pains me. i would also like to recommend ONF (who i’m recently getting into and who are KILLING it in road to kingdom) and the others i’m recommending are a mix of semi-popular and nugu groups: Day6, The Rose, ONEUS, Dreamcatcher, Infinite, A.C.E, B.I.G, (and I know these two are “disbanded” bUT STILL) B.A.P and UNB. i also have way more recs but this list would go on forever so i’m cutting it short here.

11. YOUR ult?

i was talking with my friends and tho i love kevin and he will always keep a part of my heart, i’ve grown apart from him and now my ult is u-kiss’s jun bc i will do ANYTHING for him, like watch a survival show or watch every drama he’s starring in. that’s love right there for me

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

my top 10 series of 2019~

aka i gush about shiz i watched this year for waaaaaay too long lol... 

i watched a lot of stuff this yr (well... it felt like a lot? there’s a lot more i wanted to watch but i’m terrible at time management lol...) so let’ssss explore that in a ~numbered list~ lol

(spoilers - there’s a lot of gay shit here lol... what can i say, twentybiteen really pulled thru lol)

10 - Stranger Things (series 3) 

i know some people didn’t like this series, but i legit thought it was really good lol... i felt it had gone back to the style of the 1st series a lil more? (whereas series 2 had felt a lil disappointing in a way??) & i loved all the new characters introduced (robin is a personal fav, obv), & the whole splitting off into the lil groups was really effective in not just feel like it’s always the same group together, and it also allowed for some interesting character moments!

visually, stranger things always looks amazing! but i thought the whole summer/july 4th vibes really made it especially stunning tbh... as most things on this list, i’ve only seen it once, so i would like to rewatch it at some point (actually wanna do a full stranger things marathon tbh i was trying to explain what had happened in the show to my friend who stopped watching it early in series 1 & it was so difficult to remember exactly what had happened in it lool... ) 

there were obv things about it that i wasn’t as big on, like the whole evil russian-invincible guy was v cliche and kinda silly, & some of the actions scenes were a bit awkward(?) feeling... but i’m a sucker for any 80′s style media so those things just reminded me of the goonies or some shit lol

9 - Ghosts 

actually the funniest & cutest series ever tbh!!! as someone who grew up with horrible histories with the original cast, this just made me immensely happy to see the whole team together again! the humour style is v similar to horrible histories too btw, though i feel they let themselves have a lil more ‘dark humour’ than in that (since this is more a general audience, whereas hh was definitely more aimed at kids tbh... tho they still won a comedy award for it lol! actual legends lol anyway...)

only downside is that it’s only 1 series atm & it’s pretty short... but i know there’s gonna be a new series at some point so i’m v excited for that!! i feel there’s sooooo many places they can go with the concept (i.e. exploring how/when the other characters died (like kitty!!! i need to know her story lol i love her!), maybe introducing another character who can see ghosts?? like a medium/psychic or something/etc ...) but legit, please watch this if u haven’t!!! 

8 - Good Omens

this pretty much took over the internet this year lbr lol & tbh i’d def say it was worthy of the praise!! ineffable husbands aside, the main story is super engaging and enjoyable, with some really awesome side characters (& some of my fav character designs in anything ever tbh!!) but definitely the biggest draw was the ‘6000 years mutual pining’ romance which they did so well lol & it was something that was genuinely so lovely to watch tbh!! i also really loved the ending message of the show! i really hope to rewatch this next year when i think it’s gonna be aired on british tv at last????

downsides would be that the plot can be a bit confusing at times? but maybe that’s just me being dumb lol... but i imagine it’s a lot easier to understand if u’ve read the book lol?? i don’t have a problem w/ aziraphale & crowley not being “explicitly” gay or whatnot (i know i’ve seen some people annoyed with this?), since the whole idea of their relationship is so much larger than just them bonking or whatevs lol? (in general i think more media should have less focus on kissing/intimacy as an indication of love/romance... which is something i’ve already talked about lol)

oh, and the title sequence is INCREDIBLE lol i seriously loved it so much!!

7 - Killing Eve (series 2)

finally finished this the other day & it was so good!!! i really love the dark comedic tone of the show tbh & i def feel there was more of it in the 2nd series then the first! i also liked the further development of villanelle & eve’s relationship, which is obv the highlight of the show tbh! there was also a nice lot of twists tbh, though i’d say it was a lil less intense than the 1st series? (overall i’d say i prefer the 1st series, but the 2nd was a fab continuation... btw i also watched the 1st series this yr lol)

negative points are that the plot wasn’t quite as interesting as the 1st series... i think cos the focus of the murders was taken off of villanelle that we lost some of that drama from the 1st? i thought the ghost was gonna be a more integral part but she was kinda weirdly pushed aside once we learnt her identity? & the creepy son dude just annoyed me lol (but i suppose that was the point lol...)... so like yh there were lil things that didn’t engage me as much as the first, but overall i still really enjoyed it lol

this is def fulfilling the hannibal-shaped hole in my heart tbh... (another series i finished this yr...)

6 - Dark Blue Kiss the series

look, it’s no surprise this is on my list lol... i was hella hyped for this series when it was announced last yr, even though my expectations were VERY LOW after kiss me again the series (which, lbr, is a massive mess lol... like it’s My Mess tho)... but for real, this series really exceeded all my expectations... & then some! like i’m legit shook at how good it was ngl! especially morksun’s storyline, which was by far my fav in the show (as much as i’m petekao trash lol...) also, i was surprised by how genuinely pretty this show is! esp in comparison to kma (like i know i keep going on about the goddamn bruise makeup but it is so ugly in kma, but they really did a great job in dbk tbh!)

ok so there’s a lot of flaws lol... like... a lot (i’m already complained a lot so i won’t bore u with that rn lol...) but for real, the thing that i love the most about this is the discussions of coming out/homophobia/general young people struggles/etc etc which is so refreshing to see in these series! like i love that despite the cheesy tropes, it still knows when to be serious & genuine...

5 - He Is Coming To Me

another thai series, i believe this has the same director as dbk? (don’t hold me to that tho...)... legit one of the best, if not the best, thai series i’ve ever seen tbh! so adorable, so well acted, so funny & heartwarming like... legit it’s so good!! i was already excited about it from the trailer, but the way it really delivered on the emotionality, whilst keeping it lighthearted, was truly wonderful tbh! the main actors did a brill job i gotta say, and all the side characters were amazing too (there really wasn’t a character i didn’t like i’d say tbh? i need to rewatch tbh... there’s a lot i’ve forgotten since this came out p early in the year lol)... also, visually it’s so pretty!! i swear the cinematography in these thai series just keeps getting better & better & it def improves the watching experience tbh!

a down point would be that the first ep is a bit slow/awkward to get in to... & i think it def could put someone off? but i’d say to stick w/ it since it just keeps getting better & better! i’d actually say there isn’t really anything else i didn’t like about it ngl? it’s just so good guys... u really need to watch it!

4 - Russian Doll 

probs the only series on this list that i actually actively went to rewatch straight away lol (didn’t do a full rewatch btw)... it was SO good for real! i already loved the premise lol (it’s basically groundhog day, which is already such a great film, but they explored those ideas even more in this which i loveeeed) the leads are fantastic, and the story is generally so interesting!  plus the editing & song choices are really brill tbh... 

my one complaint would probs be that the series loses a lil momentum at certain points (esp later in the series), but it still keeps ur interest, and the ending is really well done too! i know there’s gonna be a 2nd series, so i’m really hoping it’ll be able to live up to this one, and also explore more of the characters/concepts/etc! i’m def hyped for it tbh!  

i feel like this series is simultaneously underrated and also v well known lol?? like i know everyone sees that ‘thursday! what a concept’ meme but i feel like i didn’t see as many people talk about it as much as other series this yr??? 

(for my top 3, i’d say i love them all equally/for different reasons... so the order they’re in is changeable lol)

3 - Gentleman Jack

one of the greatest bbc series of the year, maybe even the decade lol! actually a masterpiece of cinematography, incredible acting, gorgeous costumes, beautiful depictions of love and intimacy, hilarious characterisation & just generally a wonderful series!! like i can’t praise it enough! it’s literally everything i could ever want from a series, and more!!!!!!! like everytime i think about it i just feel like ‘!!!!!’ constantly lol... like... what did we do to deserve such a series for real?? something that i esp loved was that i vividly remember not that long ago w/ people complaining about the bbc for having minor lgbtq characters in things, so to have a actual main lesbian couple series be on prime time bbc telly is kinda mind blowing lol... like.. i know we’ve got a long way to go, but it does make me immensely proud!! 

i have no complaints lol... other than - needed to be longer (i think we’re getting a 2nd series right???? i hope so tbh!!)

2 - The Untamed 

look, i don’t make 15 piece series’ for nothing lol... this show really got to me ngl... like i knew it was gonna be amazing from seeing tonnes of mutuals start watching it & praising it.. .but ohhhhhhhh boy i wasn’t reading for the angst and heartbreak and just generally how invested i’d be in all the characters lol... like genuinely there’s so much to praise about this show! it may not be as super ‘polished’ as some of the other shows on this list, but it really has so much heart and hard work and dedication put into it which really shows in the final  product!

there’s obv issues with it, but i feel like it’s kinda unnecessary to go over them lol? there’s so much more of this series that has brought me genuine joy, the biggest being the fact they were still able to depict a really beautiful, loving and /romantic/ relationship despite the strict censor is truly incredible lol!! like w/ good omens, it just shows what you can do to depict love/romance without having to over-sexualise something...

i feel like i’m saying less for these top 3, but it’s just cos i’ve already gush to high heavens about how much i love them lol... 

1 - HIStory 3 - Trapped

you - *pretends to be shocked that this is my number 1*

yeh... no surprises that this is in my top 3 lol... what can i say that i haven’t already screamed about for months??? this series truly surpassed any expectations i could have had for a HIStory series... the story line is complex & pretty well done (it’s not perfect... but nothing is so....), the characters are wonderful & also brilliantly acted! i think the thing that i love the most is that the director wanted to create a series that wasn’t just a cheesy gay series (don’t get me wrong, i loVE cheesy gay series’ lol... ) but also would have a more interesting, well developed & more ‘mature’ story line (i think esp in comparison to other HIStory series’ which are usually school/uni based)... it’s also one of the few lgbtq series i’ve seen that isn’t just about ‘first loves’, and doesn’t place a big emphasis on a sexuality/identity crisis... it’s just so unabashedly a mystery-romance drama, which is just so refreshing to see! & i genuinely hope we can see more series like this, where gay characters don’t need to ‘prove’ themselves in order to be in a series or to be in relationships (which it often feels like, where writers need to explain /why/ characters are gay...)...  

phew... that’s a lot of text lol, just like w/ the untamed, i feel like i’ve already talked about the negative points of the series (plot holes, awkward moments, weird editing/sound choices, bad tropey plots), but the positives of this series seriously make it worthwhile, and i’m just so so SO happy this show exists lol...

all 3 of these series have a special place in my heart of inspiring lots of my own exploration of art, as well as writing, which has been really crucial in me understanding what i wanna do with my life (i know that sounds kinda weird, but at the start of the year i really didn’t know what i wanted... and i wasn’t even sure what i was good at lol... so thru these shows i was able to discover a lot more about my own style of working & thru all of them i was able to meet some wonderful new people on here which has made 2019 actually one of my most enjoyable years on tumblr! 

this has been an...... interesting year lol... but definitely these shows made it just a lil bit better!!! 

Happy new year to anyone who actually read thru this & let’s hope 2020 brings us even more brill shows ~~~

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTERS 10 + 11

we had a week of peace and now we’re gonna get annihilated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no clue how long this liveblog may end up but hell and high water i’m combining them both

she tore the jade pendant from her neck and flung it into the darkness.

let’s give a warm welcome, to sadness,

i’m very excited for all-new cinder content hhhhhhh if u havent gathered by now I Love This Bitch and I Love Her Many Problems so im thankful for this gift 😞

Cinder was a ruin, her pride carved and served like slabs of meat.

i can FEEL diesel n kc rly patting themselves on the back for every bit of wet meat they can toss at me!!!!!!!!!! U HEAR THAT I CAN FEEL U!!!!!!!!!!! but also i still love this shit w/ all my heart!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER GONNA STOP SAYIN IT

She had never looked at Glynda’s files.

im so sorry cinder baby but that whole thing? is still HILARIOUS oh my GOD i cannot believe you fucked up that badly. u shoved yr entire head into a beartrap. u absolutely crapped yr pants on that one. yr gonna be thinking abt that on yr deathbed,

/looks at the chapter title again

hhhhhhhh im. so pumped. its gonna be hard to talk abt most of this w/o doing a million fingerguns a minute but i’m gonna try my best

Cinder approached the mirror and touched its silvered face with black-tipped claws,

I SAID IM GONNA TRY MY BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was iron barbs beneath the nail bed, glowing coals underfoot, the singular capacity to do harm. She was a beast, armed with fang and claw and a deep, dark void where her compassion should have laid, and she was dressed for dinner.

HHHHHH god YES THIS IS THE CINDER IM THIRSTY FOR............ i literally cannot say anything that isnt a massive 👈😎👈 but AAAAAAA

like im reading thru this and i cant cherry-pick lines this whole bit? is SO GOOD...  kc n diesel are Yet Again obliterating me w/ their mastery of the narrative style of offal hunt and i just love all of this i rly wish i could explain how offal hunt is EXACTLY MY BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F U C K

The final touch on her mastercraft disaster: the four sawed-off horn stumps which grew among her silver-streaked hair.

HOOOO B O I i am. Losin it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER HORNS.......... CINDR...............

Wretchedly, she wondered: did Glynda even respect her now?

any other villain: my plan didnt work and im mad >:( cinder fall: my plan didnt work and now im mad but also mostly sad :(

CINDER’S TRYING HER BEST GOD.......... i literally hate how the remaster has made her So Soft, Actually... I BELIEVE IN U CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YR BEST

Every part of her was hot and hollow. She was sick with loathing.

i LOVE HER.... CINDER I HOPE U KNO THAT YR LOVED... god tho i dont like how SAD I AM RN... cinder’s so small and the world is so big and wants 2 Shit On Her blease

honestly like. im rly- LOOK I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT. this is why im rly lovin the new cinder content because in the first version we only got glimpses of her internal machinations and now we’re in full-blown Always Sad territory and everything is suffering :)

She blinked. Her double did not.

‘well’, thought murphy. ‘that’s terrifying.’

she’d only survived thanks to a keen instinct for danger, cultivated during her tenuous teenage years.

i NEED. I NEED. CINDER BACKSTORY. all these lil nuggets dont constitute a meal! I WANT A BIG MAC AND FRIES. WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS BABY DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also again. the body horror of offal hunt? peak content. Im Lovin It

its getting harder to divine what is and what is not a 👈😎👈 because we got bits sprinkled around and theres only rly a spoiler potential if u glue em all together so im still being extra careful and the answer is blared in everyones faces so this whole kondor scene will go uncommented unless some Bullshit Happens which it will, so,

When she had become so invested in Glynda’s approval? When had a desire to be recognized as something inhuman, something ferocious, something black and terrible and capable of keeping up with Glynda Fucking Goodwitch turned into this?

oh! oh! i have the answer! i do! i know the answer! it’s you a lesbian,

The spectres of her youth haunted this city, owl-eyed children and fox-eared teens. They’d been a second sort of family, the only kind she’d had within these walls, and she’d wondered what had become of them in the past decades, but…

It was too sentimental, and she wasn’t meant to be a creature of sentiment.

oh boy okay wow

okay so actually this bit made me cry??? fuck OFF im losing it!!!!!!!! LET HER BE SENTIMENTAL!!!! LET HER HAVE PPL TO CARE ABT!!!!!!!!!! IM LITERALLY CRYING IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!

She would go barefoot from this point on, her heels clutched at her side. When she left the hotel room to steal into the night, she promised herself not to look back.

im sorry im just. so sad rn. i havent cried over a fic in YEARS and we still have another chapter ago i hate this SO MUCH..............

here comes chapter 11 

if i cry even once more im going to stab!!!!!! im not sure what BUT ILL STAB!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even without his wings, the Manticore would easily have been twice the size of any of the other Grimm, far outstripping them in sheer bulk.

HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATI HATI HATI

holy shit we actually get to see him this time!!!!!!!!!!! WE GET TO SEE THIS LEGENDARY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS CHONCC,

also hes a manticore now which is, Radical, may i just say, and just a little bit sexy,

The effortless grace in each move betrayed power most Grimm would not live to achieve. Once he stood, he had to dip his head low to meet her eye to eye. His canines were the length of her forearm.

if u werent here for the remaster? we never even SAW hati but now hes here, hes Big, and rly thats all that matters,

Like a child who’d been allowed to lie and lie until at last they’d strangled themself in the web they’d spun, Cinder couldn’t speak. Could only wait on his verdict.

every single one of cinder’s inherent themes is killing me and this business w/ family? stop. im dying. this is rude

The scant space between them popped and cracked like an sparking flame, warm and effervescent, and this time, Cinder lingered, hugging Hati close.

IF I CRY ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U ASSHOLES MAKE ME CRY ONCE MORE I WILL DOXX YOU,

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah im loving this content i rly dont have words for it dhjfgsdfgjh i just, rly like the words, and the order theyre in, and i honestly keep forgetting to liveblog it cause i just wanna READ EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tempting as it was—as it always had been, ever since she’d left the relative safety of the wastes and learned what happened to scraggly-limbed teens with horns and fangs and gleaming eyes—

with every chapter i desperately have 2 kno more abt baby cinder i HAVE to know i am so. UNBEARABLY CURIOUS... baby cinder what happened... what happened 2 u....

A lantern’s glow warmed her, bleeding into the darkness leeching at them both. It was a gentle gold across her skin, and like an answering signal from a distant outpost, Cinder saw a flush of light through the dark fur lining Hati’s throat, as though flames licked at his insides.

i forgot. that cinder glows like that when she feels Loved or full of pride and you know what i dont like these chapters. they were made to hurt me and i Dont Like That (im mclovin it)

From the safety of Hati’s neck, she found it easier—after all this time, he was still her bastion.

WHEN YOU REALISE? THAT YR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?? STOP,

For a regular person, the machine would be able to draw out short bursts of power, the likes of which no Semblance could ever channel. The taxation would eventually destroy the soul so deeply, so thoroughly, as to leave it empty for good.

For a Witch? For—

the fact. she cut herself off before she could think ‘for glynda’. has me on the FLOOR. this bit is just So Much i dont like it

Glynda Goodwitch would not abandon this hunt. Cinder knew it, had read it from her palms like an open book—Glynda Goodwitch did not know how to stop. If it had been anyone else on Remnant, they might never return, might never pull themselves back into action after today—but Glynda did not have a shred of self-preservation.

me, knocking against cinder’s head: u kno for someone w/ so many schemes in yr brain yr pretty dumb and gay, huh,

firstly let’s talk abt cinder’s “””””””””””””””””””self-preservation””””””””””””””””””” instin-- whats that? not found? yes

[Glynda’s] eyes were empty, hungry, insatiable.

i feel like ive read this line before! lets jump back a chapter--

In [Cinder’s] eyes, there was a subtle, endless hunger.

WAKE UP CINDER SHE’S YR SOULMATE!!!!!!!!!!! THE COFFEE’S READY U CAN SMELL THE BACON FROM HERE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a fluid leap, they were in the air, the ground quickly shrinking beneath them. Pressing her face against his neck to shield herself from the wind, she closed her eyes and prepared herself for what was to come, trusting Hati to deliver her safely.

that said i ADORE my boy hati is literally the best part of offal hunt kc and diesel do not interact,

He was frozen in horrific anticipation, like watching an imminent tragedy and being absolutely helpless to stop it. Like all the tension was mixed with grief and hopeless, futile fear.

when will offal hunt be nice to me. when will any of these characters get to be happy. hello. im full of sadness.

The sound was like a saw working back and forth, but resonating inside her head, rattling every tooth in her jaw, deafening to her ears.

im literally gritting my teeth at this i can hear it in my own head and its Very Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay god i can barely handle to quote anything more this bit is hurting ME so lets swiftly move on before I Die

Cinder closed her weary eyes, sinking into sleep like a shallow grave.

BE NICE TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE NICE TO HER JUST THIS ONCE, PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU,

They only knew death, only ever sought death; fangs and claws slicked with blood, magic rending meat and marrow apart, and everywhere that choking, scalding heat, spilled blood like magma, like the core of a planet.

hmm... that seems like a 👈😎👈 ~reference~

They were all alert, ears pricked, hackles raised like Hati’s. They all fixed on the same spot, somewhere beyond the darkness of the cave opening, and though she could barely think, she knew:

She was out of time. The Witch was here.

oh no.

okay so THATS CHAPTERS 10 AND 11! i only cried ONCE and u kno what thats. a Victory. these two chapters were VERY GOOD i rly loved em and i can tell new readers r gonna have a blast w/ this shit!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile i, a veteran reader, am full of peril,

terrible.

[moonraccoon-exe]

Gladnis AU(10 year time skip tho) where Ignis gets his sight back, and the first thing he sees is Gladio. But 32 year old Gladio and his reaction is like "Oh my gods you've gotten even more beautiful,"

I received this back on Monday, while I was in school, and let me tell you, dearest anon, IT MADE MY ENTIRE EVENING AND NIGHT AND THE REST OF TUESDAY BECAUSE GODS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

I was sat there in the classroom and just casually checked the hour, saw the entry, read it and I was just like “Aaaaw ;______;” and couldn’t focus for like ten minutes AND IT WAS FANTASTIC I regret NOTHING, ahahahaha *evil gladnis laugh*.

Seriously, though….this scenario is…so perfect?!?!

I’m sitting here, reading this again and feeling like it’s the first time all over again and I just- *deep breath* this is so gods damn amazing and I can’t stand it and I’m just hyperventilating becauSE 

*DEEP BREATH*

*ugly sobbing*

THIS IS SO PURE, GODDAMMIT, I’d love to turn this into a proper fanfic but time won’t let me and I just ajsdfd gods damn ;A;

You know what would make it super extra fluffier? The fact that maybe Gladio’s a bit scared of Ignis’ reaction to seeing him again. ♡ ～(‘u^人)

Wanna add it a little angst? It happens after Noct’s sacrifice.

And we make it a tad bit bittersweet? We make Ignis looking at Gladio for first time a surprise for Gladio himself, surprise of sorts, I guess. 

So maybe someone has found a way of healing Ignis’ injuries and blindness, and he decides to take the risk. So there’s the Gladnis post-story, finally leaving in peace, together, with no more duties than live for themselves once more. When they scheduled Ignis’ surgery or whatever process it can be to give him back his sight, he and Gladio spend an entire evening discussing and sharing happily what things Ignis has to see, where Gladio has to take him, where they’ll travel for Ignis to see again, the people he should see and their change, and of course, the first thing that Ignis should see.

The conversation turns a bit sad, rather bittersweet by that point, and there may be some silence. And then, Gladio suggests it.‘Dawn. The first thing you should see should be dawn. You should see how precious it is. Noct left the most precious, most beautiful dawn for us to see. You should see that first.’

It was harsh for everyone. Prompto sometimes still tears up in the mornings, and he hasn’t been able to return to Insomnia ever since Noct’s funeral. Gladio sometimes finds himself to wake up and find out he had been crying midsleep.But he knows how deep it affected Ignis in particular.Prompto was the best friend, and Gladio the older brother and sworn shield, but the thing with Ignis was that he literally grew up only for Noctis; Ignis basically didn’t live, all that he ever did since he was 6 was only to aid Noct’s life. He did it proudly and joyfully, but that was the truth; Ignis did nothing other than attend Noctis. Noct gone, somehow the biggest part of what Ignis used to be was no more. So it was pretty harsh on him. Maybe not more than in the other two, maybe just different, but definitely a particular kind of pain.

So Ignis doesn’t even reply. He just nods in silence, serious. 

Sometimes, in the days waiting for his surgery or whatever brings his sight back, when the mood was lighter, Ignis said that he was eager to see Gladio. Sometimes, he said that was the first thing that he wanted to see. Sometimes, he said that ‘after dawn’, the first thing he wanted to see was Gladio. He insisted that he wanted to see it, first or not, but he was so, so eager like he had not remembered to have ever been before about something. He wanted that, he wanted, he wanted. 

And Gladio would joke about it. Would give away comments the ‘But let’s be careful, my beauty may be too bright and could blind you again’ (don’t worry, Ignis doesn’t take that as rude and just delivers a joke back).But sometimes he would just chuckle or give a vague agreement.Because, truth is, he’s a bit scared of what Ignis will think.

At first he had not thought about it, but as the day got closer, Gladio had started to look at himself more often in the mirror. At first it was a glance or two. But he soon found himself overthinking and overanalyzing his looks, staring at himself more than he had ever done before, look at spots, and he starts growing a bit anxious about it. Because he’s young, but not as young as when Ignis last saw him.

He’s wrinkle free (for gods sake, he’s just 34), but he knows he doesn’t look like a brand new young man. And his scars, gods, did they look better when he was 23 or will Ignis see them the same? And his hair…Gladio liked it much better than when he was younger, but he’s now senselessly thinking on it and whether he looks as good as he thinks or not really. And what about his mustache asojdsofdj should I shave should I not shave and whataboutthis and did I have this spot before and whatisthisthing and whatwillIgnissay  gods FUCK  (Come on, we all know older Gladio looks AMAZING, but he doesn’t see that like we do, so…).

So Gladio grows nervous on that. Because he sees Ignis and gods, dear Astrals above, he’s just so sure Ignis is like wine; he just gets better with age. But what about him? Does he get better, too? Maybe it’s that Gladio had seen Ignis all across that time and he didn’t notice his change in a snap but rather step by step But Ignis…the last that Ignis had seen of him was when he was 23. Eleven years is quite a number. 

So the day finally happens. The whatever process required of Ignis to keep the eyes bandaged for at least 12 hours, so they do it this one evening, and the morning after, before sun comes up, they wake up as arranged, in an excited but silent air, and they get up to be prepared. Gladio drives Ignis to the Citadel and takes him to the rooftop, one of the highest spots in the Citadel to watch in the distance. The drive is mostly quiet, but the joy is almost tangible. Eleven years in the dark, finally fixed. 

And so, the moment soon comes. Gladio takes him close to the edge, facing East, and both talk quietly every now and then, a few comments here and there, before Gladio guesses it’s time. So, quietly, he tells so to Ignis, and turns him around, standing behind him, and Gladio himself starts undoing his bandages. Once they come off, Gladio keeps them to his eyes a few moments.

“Ready?”

“As much as I can be.”

Finally, Gladio removes it full this time. 

Ignis still keeps the eyes closed for a moment, and they start blinking. And so, he opens them.And he can see.And there’s that tiny dot of light in the horizon.And he can see it.He’s sensing it, and seeing it.

And here there could be two options that I’ll melt into one because #timeandspacelol. So Ignis watches the sun start to rise. Sees the little dot starting to turn bigger, and watches the sky turn from black to a line of golden, that eventually paints the sky in red. And it keeps growing. It almost feels like music, quiet and bittersweet. There’s light going in every direction, born from the astro king. From the sun of dawn.From the King of Light.From Noct. 

Ignis watches it, watches all. The sun, its beams, the sky, its colors, the clouds, the change of palette, gradual and eventual, the buildings of the distance, the tiny silhouette of the outside wall, the sea….it’s beautiful. Impossible to look away.

Yet, he does. He looks away.

Out of nowhere, Ignis turns around over his heels, eyes closed. Gladio’s a bit startled at the motion, because he had not expected Ignis to look away from the sun of dawn for at least fifteen more minutes, but there he was, facing him now, eyes closed. Gladio feels his stomach drop to his feet, and some black hole behind the lungs swallowing his organs, because he’s impossibly nervous. He feels like this is the most important event of his life, that Ignis is about to see him again. He should be excited, but he’s not. He’s scared and nervous.

Without seeing, Ignis takes his hands without saying anything, and he brings them up, placing them quietly and gently on his face. Gladio’s still startled and nervous, but he doesn’t question Ignis and only keeps the hands on his beloved one’s face. 

And so, smiling softly, with Gladio holding his face, Ignis opens the eyes.

And he can see Gladio.And he’s seeing him.And he’s seeing him.

And the reaction is immediate; Ignis’ soft smile immediately vanishes, and his expression softens in a way that makes Gladio’s heart stop and ache inside. If he had to describe it in some way, he would say Ignis’ expression dropped. Because it felt like someting falling and shattering. Like a child running downstairs with the biggest of joys reflected on his tiny smile because he’s about to see Santa, but suddenly walks in on his dad putting the presents under the tree.It feels like disappointment. 

So Gladio says nothing and tries forcing a smile at him, but he can’t help the clear signs of worry and some sadness in his expression. Ignis doesn’t seem to catch it; he’s still staring at Gladio in awe. Soon enough, the recently healed man moves a hand up and places it on Gladio’s cheek. It hesitates an inch from his skin, before landing, and Gladio feels a bit rejected at the motion. Ignis’ hand slightly trembles against him. 

“My gods…Gladio…”

Ignis sounds breathless and he still has that shocked expression. Gladio eventually lets go of Ignis’ face, but the man’s other hand catches one of Gladio’s midwair and keeps it gripped. Gladio stares at him, trying to hide all his fear, and he suddenly feels something inside himself drop when Ignis’ eyes get all watery.And, suddenly, Ignis is smiling at him in a way Gladio had not ever seen before.Like a groom seeing his bride in her dress for the first time.Like Prompto stares at dawn.Like those videos of people reuniting with their family after ten years.Like Gladio had died, and had just come back to life after a decade.

Because besides smiling, Ignis starts crying.

“Gladio, you’re even more beautiful than before…”

And, of course, that takes Gladio off guard. All that he can do is look at Ignis eyes widened and mouth slightly opened. He grips back on the hand that Ignis is holding, and he looks a bit puzzled at the shorter man. Some moments later, Gladio smiles at him with a little exhale escaping him, and he feels his eyes start to water as well. Both grin at each other, and Ignis is still staring at him and holding his face and still crying. His eyes move everywhere, on every single inch of Gladio’s face. 

Gladio just lets him, and every second he does but widen the smile, because Ignis is looking at him like Gladio really is the most beautiful thing  in the entire universe. 

“Iggy, sweetheart, you’re missing the rest of dawn…”

“The past where it belongs” Ignis tells him. “Noct is gone and I have to accept that. But you’re still here. With me.” Ignis takes both of Gladio’s hands with his own. “Enough of looking at the past. I want to look at my present and future. And both, my darling, both are you.”

It’s then when Gladio drops his own tears. It’s joy, of course. But it’s so much joy it also hurts. Like excess of ice burns, the amount of happiness is so great it’s aching. Ignis had always had a way with words, had always been a silent romantic, but this was far more than Gladio could handle. It was not just their romance; all this involved Noctis, too, their loved friend and brother. It involved Ignis’ accident and injury. It involved everything they had lost and won, everything they had to let go, and everything they were earning now.

Gladio, crying as well, nods at him only, because he can’t speak anymore. He brings Igni’s hands up and kisses them, before Ignis lets go of one of them just to hold Gladio’s face again, caress it gently, clean away his tears while Ignis himself cries. 

They had planned to look at dawn that morning. That was literally the only thing on the list. But none look at it. They look at each other’s crying eyes and nowhere else for as long as sunrise happens. None look at their past. Both focus on their present and future, both held in each other’s eyes and just that. 

And the sun shines particularly soft and bright that morning.Like it’s happy to see them like that. Carrying on, together, and finally out of the dark.

Aaah…

Anon.

Anon this is a beautiful scenario. Thank you so much, anon :’)

Edit: Well, damn, this is longer and more formal than I intended.Almost-a-fanfic. ‘I don’t have the time’, I said. ‘I’ll keep it short’, I said.

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Can u further elaborate on the South Park to Samurai Jack post? did I miss some info from an interview somewhere?

Naw, it’s just simply me noticing a chain of events that have lead to a bigger picture.

I’m just speculating because it lines up in my brain, I could very well be wrong, tho…

It’s worth noting that because of South Park and its impact on Adult animation as a whole (one could say that it was among the first widely known true Adult animation, as “The Simpsons” is a bit more family oriented in the sense that the Simpsons can be marketed to kids more readily, or rather, it WAS in the 90s), that you can say that it’s existence is why we allow for a greater creative control on animation content, and the existence of Adult animation in its current form.

While South Park is in no way similar to the Samurai Jack (except maybe comparisons to how both programs boasts a sort of “cut out” paper/edgeless style that was digitized in later episodes), we have South Park to thank for the fact that certain restrictions are no longer enforced in animated stuff. Have you noticed that some words are no longer bleeped out adult programs? South Park helped in that, there’s whole episodes around the idea that censorship is really pointless sometimes.

I doubt that programming like “Rick and Morty” would have a stable foothold had it been created and aired about a decade ago. Adult Swim exists as a sort of programming time block to air a lot of adult oriented programs late at night, many of the original Adult Swim cartoons took inspiration from the likes of South Park, Simpsons and Family Guy, the latter of which is a regular program there that is often aired mildly edited compared to its syndicated airings. One can’t forget Robot Chicken, either, a show built upon satirical parody that has grown over the years to be more witty (although just as immature at times)

Adult Swim’s existence began around the time many of us current viewers were children, and I’d be lying if I said didn’t defy the rules every now and then to watch some adult cartoons as a kid. I used to stay up late to tune into these bizzare shows, and they often aired after Cartoon Network closed up for the night after showing some Samurai Jack and Dragon Ball Z reruns, and of course you know that I enjoyed those two shows.

When Toonami was initially axed almost a decade ago, it was essentially an amalgamation of CN and AS at the time, a sort of time block geared towards the teens in between the kids and adults.

Toonami was also an avid airing platform for episodes of Samurai Jack, and was in fact rerunning the show until the very last original broadcast, before TOM shut down the Absolution and flew off into space.

Years later, those teens would grow up into adults, many of whom moved onto Adult Swim more regularly and with less fear of being caught, because we were adults. Every year, Adult Swim would air “The Room” for April Fools, but one year, they decided to revive Toonami for us as a sort of fun prank. A full night of nostalgia, wow.

The reception was tremendous and it didn’t take long for Adult Swim to announce a special Saturday night block for Toonami to take place during the usual AS hours, and it was made with us original fans and new fans in mind.

They aired not only popular Anime, but they also brought back “Symbiotic Titan”, which was a popular but short lived animated children’s series by none other than Genndy Tartokovsky, creator of Samurai Jack. This opened many doors, and requested nostalgic programing flooded the mailbag. I think I recall them running the newer Thundercats too, and they certainly brought back DBZ as well as found a platform for the new Dragon Ball Super.

That in mind, it was only a matter of time before the people at CN Studios got the word that we wanted Samurai Jack as one of the more requested shows to be rerun on the block, despite the original series being TV-Y7 FV.

The block would come to run it as a test, and it garnered a lot of positive responses. Before you know it, the green light for the long awaited (I mean, like, the time waited is almost as old as my cat is, and my cat is old for a cat) Season 5 and/or Movie was given, and within a couple years, we were finally given a final closure we had waited so long for as children.

See, while CN is the original block for Jack, the original demographic had long since moved on, and the current kids already have thier beloved series. Also, by the looks of it, much of the original series has been reevaluated, and it’s been deemed as “Unrated” on the DVDs I have, probably due to content matter and unnerving visuals from time to time. It would not be a series that could be produced for today’s kids, I don’t think, as values and stuff have changed.

That said, Season 5 being created for and airing on Adult Swim is perfect in itself, because the children who watched Jack and his adventures have now aged and while we love whimsical tales as much as anyone else, we also like some food action. Jack has aged with us, and the new season was smart to take advantage of the new freedom of control without going overboard.

Which brings me back to South Park.

Had it not been for that show pushing the envelope, and daring to cross the line in what can be deemed as acceptable or not, while also growing as show and eventually gaining a sort of strange charm to it, thus becoming so popular, then we likely wouldn’t have had a separate genre for adult animation, nor would we have even had enough programming to garner a new separate channel that is so experimental and bold.

That very same channel that knows how to listen to its audience and knows what we’re there for.

A channel that knows what the audience grew up with, and knows what to satirize, and knows that the viewers are what keeps it afloat.

No South Park means No Adult Swim.

No Adult Swim means No New Toonami.

No New Toonami means there wouldn’t have been Samurai Jack Season 5.

But hey, that’s just my theory. I’m basing it all off of observation and years of being a consumer of Cartoon Network Studios. :P