#..... also doesn't help that Sloane is.... well

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Your car spies on you and rats you out to insurance companies

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me TOMORROW (Mar 13) in SAN FRANCISCO with ROBIN SLOAN, then Toronto, NYC, Anaheim, and more!

Another characteristically brilliant Kashmir Hill story for The New York Times reveals another characteristically terrible fact about modern life: your car secretly records fine-grained telemetry about your driving and sells it to data-brokers, who sell it to insurers, who use it as a pretext to gouge you on premiums:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/11/technology/carmakers-driver-tracking-insurance.html

Almost every car manufacturer does this: Hyundai, Nissan, Ford, Chrysler, etc etc:

https://www.repairerdrivennews.com/2020/09/09/ford-state-farm-ford-metromile-honda-verisk-among-insurer-oem-telematics-connections/

This is true whether you own or lease the car, and it's separate from the "black box" your insurer might have offered to you in exchange for a discount on your premiums. In other words, even if you say no to the insurer's carrot – a surveillance-based discount – they've got a stick in reserve: buying your nonconsensually harvested data on the open market.

I've always hated that saying, "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product," the reason being that it posits decent treatment as a customer reward program, like the little ramekin warm nuts first class passengers get before takeoff. Companies don't treat you well when you pay them. Companies treat you well when they fear the consequences of treating you badly.

Take Apple. The company offers Ios users a one-tap opt-out from commercial surveillance, and more than 96% of users opted out. Presumably, the other 4% were either confused or on Facebook's payroll. Apple – and its army of cultists – insist that this proves that our world's woes can be traced to cheapskate "consumers" who expected to get something for nothing by using advertising-supported products.

But here's the kicker: right after Apple blocked all its rivals from spying on its customers, it began secretly spying on those customers! Apple has a rival surveillance ad network, and even if you opt out of commercial surveillance on your Iphone, Apple still secretly spies on you and uses the data to target you for ads:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Even if you're paying for the product, you're still the product – provided the company can get away with treating you as the product. Apple can absolutely get away with treating you as the product, because it lacks the historical constraints that prevented Apple – and other companies – from treating you as the product.

As I described in my McLuhan lecture on enshittification, tech firms can be constrained by four forces:

I. Competition

II. Regulation

III. Self-help

IV. Labor

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle/#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel

When companies have real competitors – when a sector is composed of dozens or hundreds of roughly evenly matched firms – they have to worry that a maltreated customer might move to a rival. 40 years of antitrust neglect means that corporations were able to buy their way to dominance with predatory mergers and pricing, producing today's inbred, Habsburg capitalism. Apple and Google are a mobile duopoly, Google is a search monopoly, etc. It's not just tech! Every sector looks like this:

https://www.openmarketsinstitute.org/learn/monopoly-by-the-numbers

Eliminating competition doesn't just deprive customers of alternatives, it also empowers corporations. Liberated from "wasteful competition," companies in concentrated industries can extract massive profits. Think of how both Apple and Google have "competitively" arrived at the same 30% app tax on app sales and transactions, a rate that's more than 1,000% higher than the transaction fees extracted by the (bloated, price-gouging) credit-card sector:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/07/curatorial-vig/#app-tax

But cartels' power goes beyond the size of their warchest. The real source of a cartel's power is the ease with which a small number of companies can arrive at – and stick to – a common lobbying position. That's where "regulatory capture" comes in: the mobile duopoly has an easier time of capturing its regulators because two companies have an easy time agreeing on how to spend their app-tax billions:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/

Apple – and Google, and Facebook, and your car company – can violate your privacy because they aren't constrained regulation, just as Uber can violate its drivers' labor rights and Amazon can violate your consumer rights. The tech cartels have captured their regulators and convinced them that the law doesn't apply if it's being broken via an app:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/18/cursed-are-the-sausagemakers/#how-the-parties-get-to-yes

In other words, Apple can spy on you because it's allowed to spy on you. America's last consumer privacy law was passed in 1988, and it bans video-store clerks from leaking your VHS rental history. Congress has taken no action on consumer privacy since the Reagan years:

https://www.eff.org/tags/video-privacy-protection-act

But tech has some special enshittification-resistant characteristics. The most important of these is interoperability: the fact that computers are universal digital machines that can run any program. HP can design a printer that rejects third-party ink and charge $10,000/gallon for its own colored water, but someone else can write a program that lets you jailbreak your printer so that it accepts any ink cartridge:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Tech companies that contemplated enshittifying their products always had to watch over their shoulders for a rival that might offer a disenshittification tool and use that as a wedge between the company and its customers. If you make your website's ads 20% more obnoxious in anticipation of a 2% increase in gross margins, you have to consider the possibility that 40% of your users will google "how do I block ads?" Because the revenue from a user who blocks ads doesn't stay at 100% of the current levels – it drops to zero, forever (no user ever googles "how do I stop blocking ads?").

The majority of web users are running an ad-blocker:

https://doc.searls.com/2023/11/11/how-is-the-worlds-biggest-boycott-doing/

Web operators made them an offer ("free website in exchange for unlimited surveillance and unfettered intrusions") and they made a counteroffer ("how about 'nah'?"):

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/07/adblocking-how-about-nah

Here's the thing: reverse-engineering an app – or any other IP-encumbered technology – is a legal minefield. Just decompiling an app exposes you to felony prosecution: a five year sentence and a $500k fine for violating Section 1201 of the DMCA. But it's not just the DMCA – modern products are surrounded with high-tech tripwires that allow companies to invoke IP law to prevent competitors from augmenting, recongifuring or adapting their products. When a business says it has "IP," it means that it has arranged its legal affairs to allow it to invoke the power of the state to control its customers, critics and competitors:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

An "app" is just a web-page skinned in enough IP to make it a crime to add an ad-blocker to it. This is what Jay Freeman calls "felony contempt of business model" and it's everywhere. When companies don't have to worry about users deploying self-help measures to disenshittify their products, they are freed from the constraint that prevents them indulging the impulse to shift value from their customers to themselves.

Apple owes its existence to interoperability – its ability to clone Microsoft Office's file formats for Pages, Numbers and Keynote, which saved the company in the early 2000s – and ever since, it has devoted its existence to making sure no one ever does to Apple what Apple did to Microsoft:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/06/adversarial-interoperability-reviving-elegant-weapon-more-civilized-age-slay

Regulatory capture cuts both ways: it's not just about powerful corporations being free to flout the law, it's also about their ability to enlist the law to punish competitors that might constrain their plans for exploiting their workers, customers, suppliers or other stakeholders.

The final historical constraint on tech companies was their own workers. Tech has very low union-density, but that's in part because individual tech workers enjoyed so much bargaining power due to their scarcity. This is why their bosses pampered them with whimsical campuses filled with gourmet cafeterias, fancy gyms and free massages: it allowed tech companies to convince tech workers to work like government mules by flattering them that they were partners on a mission to bring the world to its digital future:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/10/the-proletarianization-of-tech-workers/

For tech bosses, this gambit worked well, but failed badly. On the one hand, they were able to get otherwise powerful workers to consent to being "extremely hardcore" by invoking Fobazi Ettarh's spirit of "vocational awe":

https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2018/vocational-awe/

On the other hand, when you motivate your workers by appealing to their sense of mission, the downside is that they feel a sense of mission. That means that when you demand that a tech worker enshittifies something they missed their mother's funeral to deliver, they will experience a profound sense of moral injury and refuse, and that worker's bargaining power means that they can make it stick.

Or at least, it did. In this era of mass tech layoffs, when Google can fire 12,000 workers after a $80b stock buyback that would have paid their wages for the next 27 years, tech workers are learning that the answer to "I won't do this and you can't make me" is "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out" (AKA "sharpen your blades boys"):

https://techcrunch.com/2022/09/29/elon-musk-texts-discovery-twitter/

With competition, regulation, self-help and labor cleared away, tech firms – and firms that have wrapped their products around the pluripotently malleable core of digital tech, including automotive makers – are no longer constrained from enshittifying their products.

And that's why your car manufacturer has chosen to spy on you and sell your private information to data-brokers and anyone else who wants it. Not because you didn't pay for the product, so you're the product. It's because they can get away with it.

Cars are enshittified. The dozens of chips that auto makers have shoveled into their car design are only incidentally related to delivering a better product. The primary use for those chips is autoenshittification – access to legal strictures ("IP") that allows them to block modifications and repairs that would interfere with the unfettered abuse of their own customers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

The fact that it's a felony to reverse-engineer and modify a car's software opens the floodgates to all kinds of shitty scams. Remember when Bay Staters were voting on a ballot measure to impose right-to-repair obligations on automakers in Massachusetts? The only reason they needed to have the law intervene to make right-to-repair viable is that Big Car has figured out that if it encrypts its diagnostic messages, it can felonize third-party diagnosis of a car, because decrypting the messages violates the DMCA:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2013/11/drm-cars-will-drive-consumers-crazy

Big Car figured out that VIN locking – DRM for engine components and subassemblies – can felonize the production and the installation of third-party spare parts:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/08/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors/

The fact that you can't legally modify your car means that automakers can go back to their pre-2008 ways, when they transformed themselves into unregulated banks that incidentally manufactured the cars they sold subprime loans for. Subprime auto loans – over $1t worth! – absolutely relies on the fact that borrowers' cars can be remotely controlled by lenders. Miss a payment and your car's stereo turns itself on and blares threatening messages at top volume, which you can't turn off. Break the lease agreement that says you won't drive your car over the county line and it will immobilize itself. Try to change any of this software and you'll commit a felony under Section 1201 of the DMCA:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/02/innovation-unlocks-markets/#digital-arm-breakers

Tesla, naturally, has the most advanced anti-features. Long before BMW tried to rent you your seat-heater and Mercedes tried to sell you a monthly subscription to your accelerator pedal, Teslas were demon-haunted nightmare cars. Miss a Tesla payment and the car will immobilize itself and lock you out until the repo man arrives, then it will blare its horn and back itself out of its parking spot. If you "buy" the right to fully charge your car's battery or use the features it came with, you don't own them – they're repossessed when your car changes hands, meaning you get less money on the used market because your car's next owner has to buy these features all over again:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

And all this DRM allows your car maker to install spyware that you're not allowed to remove. They really tipped their hand on this when the R2R ballot measure was steaming towards an 80% victory, with wall-to-wall scare ads that revealed that your car collects so much information about you that allowing third parties to access it could lead to your murder (no, really!):

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms

That's why your car spies on you. Because it can. Because the company that made it lacks constraint, be it market-based, legal, technological or its own workforce's ethics.

One common critique of my enshittification hypothesis is that this is "kind of sensible and normal" because "there’s something off in the consumer mindset that we’ve come to believe that the internet should provide us with amazing products, which bring us joy and happiness and we spend hours of the day on, and should ask nothing back in return":

https://freakonomics.com/podcast/how-to-have-great-conversations/

What this criticism misses is that this isn't the companies bargaining to shift some value from us to them. Enshittification happens when a company can seize all that value, without having to bargain, exploiting law and technology and market power over buyers and sellers to unilaterally alter the way the products and services we rely on work.

A company that doesn't have to fear competitors, regulators, jailbreaking or workers' refusal to enshittify its products doesn't have to bargain, it can take. It's the first lesson they teach you in the Darth Vader MBA: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/26/hit-with-a-brick/#graceful-failure

Your car spying on you isn't down to your belief that your carmaker "should provide you with amazing products, which brings your joy and happiness you spend hours of the day on, and should ask nothing back in return." It's not because you didn't pay for the product, so now you're the product. It's because they can get away with it.

The consequences of this spying go much further than mere insurance premium hikes, too. Car telemetry sits at the top of the funnel that the unbelievably sleazy data broker industry uses to collect and sell our data. These are the same companies that sell the fact that you visited an abortion clinic to marketers, bounty hunters, advertisers, or vengeful family members pretending to be one of those:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/07/safegraph-spies-and-lies/#theres-no-i-in-uterus

Decades of pro-monopoly policy led to widespread regulatory capture. Corporate cartels use the monopoly profits they extract from us to pay for regulatory inaction, allowing them to extract more profits.

But when it comes to privacy, that period of unchecked corporate power might be coming to an end. The lack of privacy regulation is at the root of so many problems that a pro-privacy movement has an unstoppable constituency working in its favor.

At EFF, we call this "privacy first." Whether you're worried about grifters targeting vulnerable people with conspiracy theories, or teens being targeted with media that harms their mental health, or Americans being spied on by foreign governments, or cops using commercial surveillance data to round up protesters, or your car selling your data to insurance companies, passing that long-overdue privacy legislation would turn off the taps for the data powering all these harms:

https://www.eff.org/wp/privacy-first-better-way-address-online-harms

Traditional economics fails because it thinks about markets without thinking about power. Monopolies lead to more than market power: they produce regulatory capture, power over workers, and state capture, which felonizes competition through IP law. The story that our problems stem from the fact that we just don't spend enough money, or buy the wrong products, only makes sense if you willfully ignore the power that corporations exert over our lives. It's nice to think that you can shop your way out of a monopoly, because that's a lot easier than voting your way out of a monopoly, but no matter how many times you vote with your wallet, the cartels that control the market will always win:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/05/the-map-is-not-the-territory/#apor-locksmith

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/12/market-failure/#car-wars

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[ladywuvly]

barry sloane +au. +characters rec list!

masterlist. socials. recs.

head canons |

dbf!price boys your age by @captainfern dbf!price shotgunning his cigar by @inkbybambi dbf!price sugardaddy; part.2 by @faith369 bf!price headcanons by @empresskylo landlord!price moving out by @gatorlovebot

fics & imagines |

Honesty by @gatorlovebot - John doesn't like liars. Fixing your bad self-image by @sweetiecutie - You’ve been feeling a bit self-conscious lately, so John decides to fuck some sense into your head. Truth or dare? by @soapyghost Don't disobey by @jawabear - A risky move on the field leaves the captain less than happy with you. Steady girl by @jawabear - John loves when you help him trim his facial hair. And he loves what comes after as well. Genesis by @moondirti - It’s the first time you truly see him – this much of him, anyway, and he’s startlingly younger than you would’ve thought. The progression of a spite-fuelled relationship. Eye contact by @kungfubarbie101 Two is hardly a crowd by @grippingbeskar  How to disappear by @fawnpires - After a failed attempt at a date, you unexpectedly find yourself in the hands of comfort of your dorm-mate, also known as your captain. Bartender by @sky-is-the-limit Rings by @glossysoap What’ve you done this time by @captainfern inspo; @bleuu-moon Just the tip, love by @floralpascal Home is the feeling of you by @maryangelex - You’re Price’s fianc�� back home and it’s been months since you’ve seen him. He’s been on deployment and days have been getting lonelier the more days pass. Until you get home one night from work to a more than pleasant surprise. Taking his time by @empresskylo Neighborly advice by @sky-is-the-limit - Your neighbor price takes matters into his own hands to finish what your incompetent ex could never. all in the name of good neighborly solidarity, of course. Cigar smoke and good sex by @lxvvie Helping hands by @deathsimage Break the rules by @bonitanightmxres - Months after breaking up, you and price agree to a “no strings attached” relationship to fill the void in your lives—but it proves to be harder than anticipated when you both start to catch feelings again. How you deserve by @manmuncher777 Inspo; @sky-is-the-limit

series/multi part |

Never let me go 5/5 by @maryangelex - You worked at a coffeehouse, your life is filled with mundanity and you wouldn't change it for anything else. That is, until one crisp autumn morning, you meet the handsome Captain John Price and there’s an immediate, undoubted connection between the two of you. Neighborly 5/5 by @391780 inspo; @hereforthepedrofanfic - You and your neighbor, john price, slowly getting to know each other over the holidays. The rear window 5/5 by @391780 - spinoff! neighborly!pricepov stalker!price. Soft 9/9 by @391780 - Soap says dumb shit in a bar, Captain Price falls in love with a fat girl. Songs That Sound Like Sea-Foam 2/2 by @halcyone-of-the-sea - fisherman!price x mermaid!reader. Take me home, country road 17/20 by @ceilidho - 1800s!price. reader flees to his town where Price is the sheriff after a murder in her previous town. only to be mistaken for the mail order bride that Price just sent for ….and he’s not interested in hearing any of her excuses when she tells him that he’s got the wrong girl Callsign: zero 12/12 by @cass-the-mess - 2 years ago you saved John Price from an untimely death, only to disapear without a trace before he could thank you properly for getting him back home safe. You show up again 2 years later to help the task force defeat a new enemy. Marigold 7/7 by @captainfern - Price is your dbf and he is suddenly asking you to meet him upstairs during a party. pretty much anything from their masterlist!

disclamer! none of these are my works all credit to the authors. I just loved them so much figured I'd give them a shoutout!

[moonlit-heartbreak]

Love Languages

Xaden, Liam, Bodhi, Garrick x Reader Warnings: Slight spoilers for FW and IF, some suggestive comments and themes but nothing too explicit a/n: I love these men a little bit too much, so now you all get to enjoy my takes on each of their love languages for my first post🤭. It’s a little short and all over the place, but once my finals are over expect some longer works. Definitely let me know what you all think!

Xaden - Acts of Service

Listen, he's an important guy both as wingleader and a lieutenant and now in being on the front lines of a war, so he has to make sure to keep everyone's respect, and of course keep them all a little scared of him, so he can't get all lovey-dovey with you in public

Instead I see him being big on acts of service. Leaving you an extra piece of bread he grabbed at breakfast that morning, sharpening your swords/daggers so you're set to go for training, things of that nature

He would want to be there for you and let you know that he's looking out for you and acts of service is the perfect way for him to do that subtly but still being more involved in directly making you happy

Don't get me wrong though, when you're alone the acts of service definitely don't stop and he's good at what he does. With this I don’t mean JUST sex (even though it’d be amazing), but he would also love to brush your hair, give you a massage, whatever he can do to make you feel loved and cared for after a long day of classes and training

If there’s something specific you liked back home like a specific snack or item just know that once he finds out he’s going to be bribing one of the fliers to get it for him during a supply run so he can surprise you with it just so he can see your face light up

It works out perfect for you because not only is he making you feel like the most special person in the world with everything he does for you and how well he knows you, but getting perks like him keeping you off the schedule for your least favorite chores doesn't hurt either

The moral of the story is that he would literally do anything to make you happy, and despite how tough he acts you've got him completely wrapped around you finger

Liam - Words of Affirmation

For someone who's experienced so much loss before, he still manages to be SO kind and caring and this would 100% come through in the way he acts with his significant other, especially in terms of how he speaks to them

In public this would probably come off more as supportive and encouraging comments, helpful tips for training, or even just a quick compliment thrown in here or there. He's one of the more laid back out of all of the guys, but he still knows not to let his kindness be mistaken for weakness or allow anyone to try and use you against him, so he's careful to keep a good balance of keeping his guard up and being sweet with you

With that though, neither of you really have anything to worry about. He's the strongest cadet in his year and he trusts that you can hold your own so he'd still be pretty open with you in public

He's the type of guy who would never want to say goodbye without an 'I love you" thrown in there, even if you'd had a disagreement or you're (somehow) upset with him. Words are so important to him and he's going to make sure to tell you how he feels no matter what

I mean think about it, with all those letter he wrote to Sloane this man is a master at communication and he knows how to do it well

SO good at reassuring you. Ever doubting yourself or your abilities? Worried you’re not being a good enough partner? Nervous about opening up to him about something? He knows exactly what to say to calm you down or make you feel better every single time without fail. He just has such a way with words, and when he speaks to you in that soft "everything's going to be alright" voice there's no way you wouldn't feel at least a bit better

I have no doubt in my mind that he would have the sweetest nicknames for you and know exactly what to say when you need it, he’s just the sweetest thing to grace the continent and you’ll be reminded of that every time he speaks his sweet words that make your heart flutter

Bodhi - Physical Touch

This man... I definitely see him lovinggg physical touch. He needs you like he needs air to breathe and he isn't afraid to let the rest of the world know it

He's a confident guy so naturally he'd love to show off his significant other; walking with an arm slung over your shoulder or around your waist, sitting right next to you during meals so that your arms and legs brush against each other, holding hands or even just loosely linking your fingers together while you study, he loves it all

You two have definitely been told to get a room once or twice during training when your sparring sessions get a little too intense (gods bless the innocent bystanders who have to bear witness to that, especially the poor boys who are practically his brothers)

Obviously he knows how to balance his leadership responsibilities with spending time with you so he knows when he has to take a step back and get serious, but trust me, every chance he gets he's finding a way to be right next to you

When you guys are alone... oh boy get ready to be next to him all night long. Whether you’re laying together on one of your beds just talking before you settle in to sleep for the night, sitting on his lap while you both work on your own assignments, showering together, he’ll find a way to make everything a team effort just to be as close to you as possible

Don’t worry though, he knows when to give you your space so if there’s ever a day where you simply want a little alone time he would never push any boundaries and would respect whatever you wanted. However, if you’re trying to avoid him because you’re upset or anything of that nature he’s going to figure out what’s wrong and make sure you’re alright

Bodhi Durran the man that you are... At the end of the day he would be such a sweet partner to you and all of his actions, from full on cuddling to just brushing past each other briefly in the hallway, proves to you every day that he adores you

Garrick - Quality Time

Garrick is definitely more on the serious side, especially in public, but don't underestimate him as a partner because this man knows how to make you feel loved

Being close to you serves multiple purposes for him; it lets him keep an eye on you to make sure you're safe, and it simply brings him the sense of comfort he always gets from being near you

He’s super secure in himself and you, not doubting either of your abilities or your love for one another but just getting to be around you makes him happy. Whether it be sitting together to study, you talking his ear off about whatever antics you and your squad got up to that day, or even just training at the same time even if you’re on opposite sides of the gym sparring with different partners. Spending time with you or just being near each other is how he shows that he's there for you and that he loves you so he'll take whatever time he can get

With spending so much time with you and the fact that he’s a very observant guy, he would be able to read you like a book. There’s no hiding how you’re feeling because he’ll pick up on all of your little tells and know exactly how to go about making you feel better

Along with how observant he is and how deeply he knows you, I also feel like he would give amazing advice too. Disagreement with a friend? Not able to get the hang of a new weapon you’ve been training with? Stressed about an exam and not sure how to study? He has advice for all of it, and he knows when to step in and help you but also when you’ll want to be left alone to figure things out yourself

Whenever you both get a day off (which wouldn’t be often, I mean you have a war to prepare for) it’s always spent together. When you’re able to get some time together in Aretia, he’d take you to some tucked away corner of Riorson House him and Xaden would hang out in as kids just so you could get a few uninterrupted moments alone together, which you both cherish more and more as you inevitably get busier

He might be one of the most intimidating out of all of his friends and arguably out of most other riders as well, but underneath that sexy muscly exterior, he’s got a crazy soft spot for you; and while it might not be fully apparent to anyone who isn’t looking closely enough, you know just how much he loves you and that’s all that matters to the two of you

[helaintoloki]

Hi! Id loved to request a viktor x fem!reader! Maybe where the reader has powers as well and joined the family just like lila, but she starting to madly crushing on viktor but is afraid/doesn't know how to confess? Or if he even likes her back. (I've been crushing on elliot for so long 🤧) thank you! hope this is okay.

a/n: this is my first time writing for viktor so please excuse any inaccuracies!

summary: despite thinking that your crush on Viktor is completely one-sided, you’re pleasantly proven wrong

Your chin rests in the palm of your hand as you lean against the counter of the bar and watch from across the room as Viktor serves drinks and chats with his regulars. You take the time to admire his hair and wonder if he styled it differently today, and when he turns after sensing your stare and flashes a brief smile in your direction you find you stomach doing summersaults in return.

“You know you can just talk to him right?” Your fellow bartender Anne jests with a playful nudge to your ribs.

“I know that!” You scoff indignantly, your face heating with embarrassment at being caught ogling your friend and boss. “I just don’t want to bother him while he’s working is all.”

“You? Bother Viktor? The guy who personally asked you to start this bar with him? The same Viktor you share a place with?” She clarifies with a raised brow and feigned shock. You roll your eyes in displeasure at her teasing, but this only encourages her to continue. “I don’t get why you can’t just make a move already.”

“Because it’s complicated, okay?” You huff out in annoyance while defensively crossing your arms. “I just don’t want to mess everything up.”

You felt your insecurities of talking to Viktor about your harbored feelings for him were valid. Despite originally being a Sparrow, the Umbrella Academy had welcomed you into their group with open arms when you’d joined Sloane in becoming part of their team. Though Sloane hadn’t made it out of the elevator after you’d been transported to a new timeline, you had, and you swore you wouldn’t waste the chance at a new life in exchange for the universe’s mercy.

With the only other remaining Sparrow immediately bailing on your group, Viktor extended his kindness to you and offered for you to come with him on his fresh start. You had clicked rather quickly after joining the Umbrellas, so it only felt natural to follow him. You worked to get an apartment together, helped him start up his bar, and now you two lived a peaceful life free of any powers or family drama. It was a nice routine to fall into; you just didn’t expect that you’d also fall for him in the process.

And now here you were, working another shift at the bar while pathetically pining over a man who probably didn’t return your feelings. You’d never dare voice your feelings in fear of ruining not only your friendship with him but also in fear of losing your new family as well. It was complicated, and so you were fine with swearing yourself to secrecy and hoping the feelings would dwindle with time.

“If you don’t take a chance now another girl is going to come along and do it herself,” Anne warns much to your dismay before excusing herself to wipe down the nearby tables. Sighing, you let your head lower and hit the counter of the bar in defeat as you mull over her words.

“Hey,” Viktor says, almost appearing out of nowhere and startling you out of your internal pity party. “Table three wants a round of whiskey.”

“Oh, right, of course,” you stammer out before quickly getting to work. It takes all of your willpower to still the shakiness of your hands as you set out six glasses and begin to pour out drinks. Viktor watches on silently with a careful smile, and you’re so focused on not messing up that you don’t notice the way he admires you work.

“Doing okay today?”

“Can’t complain,” you reply with a weak chuckle before sliding the tray of drinks over for him to take. However, instead of leaving Viktor remains planted in front of you, almost hesitating as if unsure of his next words.

“Hey, so I was supposed to close tonight but I got Bill to cover me. Did you want to grab some dinner tonight?”

“Don’t we always grab dinner?” You reply with a raised brow, unsure of why he seems so nervous.

“I guess we do,” he admits with a sheepish chuckle. “But what I mean is, would you want to grab dinner together? Like a date?”

“Oh… oh!” You exclaim in shocked realization. A part of you almost doesn’t believe this is happening right now, and you discreetly pinch yourself beneath the counter to ensure you’re not dreaming. You’re quick to respond with a delighted smile, nodding as you say, “I’d really like that.”

“Great,” Viktor says with a grin. “Then it’s a date.”

You watch him finally take the tray and head back to table three, your heart racing in your chest and your mind working overtime to replay the moment over and over again in your head. After almost a year of pining you’re finally going on a first date with the man of your dreams. Maybe you really were wrong about the possibility of Viktor liking you back.

You can’t wait to tell Anne.

[phantomantz]

some changes i would have made to the characters storylines in tua s4

disclaimer: i am no writer, it's just fun to think about the possibilities. btw anyone feel free to use any of these ideas for fics idc

lila doesn't cheat for starters. instead she and diego have both been secretly doing vigilante missions and keeping it from the other because they think they'll be mad. on one of these missions the two run into each other and rekindle their spark. basically the five and lila story but with diego and lila instead thanks. maybe one or both of them almost die or their kids are put in danger, and they decide to find a much less dangerous hobby, because while its thrilling in the moment they realize they wouldn't sacrifice their family for it

luther is shown to be much more depressed about sloanes absence (if there really is no way for her to come back) but he's trying to hold it together to be there for his family. would be nice if he bonded with characters like klaus, viktor or allison who have also lost their lovers. diego and lila shenanigans means they need luther to babysit a lot and luther finds happiness caring for his nieces and nephew. maybe he also finds a fulfilling job where he can meet a lot of people and help others.

five still finds the time subway but without lila. we get more time exploring the alternate timelines and seeing different ways the apocalypse has happened including ways the other sibs have ended the world. his PTSD and reliving his trauma is also explored. he eventually ends up in the five diner where he's told that they end the world every time but instead of excepting defeat and making everyone sacrifice themselves he finds another way (what exactly that is im not so sure) and becomes the first and only five to successfully prevent the apocalypse forever

allisons relationship with claire and ray are explored more heavily as well as everything she did in s3. i like the idea that she takes care of klaus because 1: hes the only sibling that will still talk to her and 2: because of the guilt she feels after getting him killed. i just wish her arc focused on something OTHER than saving klaus because thats basically all she did this season. would be nice if she spent more time with viktor and luther the two people she wronged most heavily in s3.

i would keep viktors confrontation with reggie but alternatively i would make this reginald umbrella reginald so it has much more weight to it. either that or have viktor express that even though he said his piece toward this reggie he will never actually get closure with their real father and nothing will remove the pain from his childhood. the rest i would keep pretty similar. reginald wants to kill ben and viktor wants to stop him at any cost. viktor knows what its like to be "the bomb" and doesn't want the same thing that happened to him to happen to ben. instead of working together to find ben however they're more in a race against eachother. maybe allison joins him and they make up on the way. i would have liked for ben and viktor to have had a heart to heart in the beginning of the season, maybe about how ben felt like a monster sometimes because of his powers, and viktor relating. idk how this would work with sparrow ben because he doesn't seem to hate his powers the same way brelly ben did but it would have been nice to show another reason why viktor is going through so much trouble to save him. and the ending where he trys to talk him down would be more impactful i think.

for klaus i would keep everything pretty much the same up until he runs into that quinn guy. instead i would have him travel to the subway with five in lilas place. five and klaus' powers are the most mind boggling out of the bunch not to mention time and death are inherently intertwined and this needed to be explored. also, you're telling me klaus literally has the power to talk to GOD and this never has any plot relevance???? klaus should have been involved in finding the solution to the apocalypse imo. also we needed klaus and ben interactions. idk how or when but it NEEDED to happen

ben and jennifer being the catalyst for the apocalypse is making it very hard for me to figure what to do with him tbh. i just wish he had more time with the other sibs and didn't turn into a horrific blob monster at the end 😭he felt less like a character this season and more like a plot device and he deserved to have some scenes that actually fleshed him out. it would have been cool if the reason he causes the apocalypse was actually because of his powers and not just because he happened to be the one to make skin contact with jennifer. i really thought that the twist was gonna be that the squid that jennifer was stuck in was the one that ben summons and that was why they were connected. not the fact that they both just had reactive magic particles in them that anyone could have set off. like what if jennifer being cut out of the squid was what killed ben?

OH! what if jennifer was an eldritch horror from the same dimension that bens tentacles are from and for some reason she wants to kill the brellys/end the world and because bens powers are linked to her she can control his mind ???? c'mon i feel like i've got something here

a have a couple of other ideas but don't know where they would fit in rn so yeah.

[genji-centric]

Venture NSFW Alphabet

MDNI!!! Warnings for NSFW unter cut!

A = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Sloan gets super cuddly after sex. They need to feel how close you both are, the sound of both your breaths slowing down as you both come down from your highs. Venture loves to hold you or to be held. Aftercare is important to them, a cloth fetched and water for you is a garuntee but first they need to be held and told how good you felt.

B = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Venture likes their hands, with those hands, they are able to carry that drill to sights and battles. Sloan knows with that strength, they can hold you up and put you into any position, and for that, they love their hands. Venture can't pick a favorite on you. Your thighs feel amazing around their head. Sloan loves to grab at your ass, grope your breasts, and just everything about you drives them crazy.

C = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Venture can cum fast, they get aroused fast and overly excited means Sloan cums faster then they like to admit. They love to cum on you, from your mouth, and watch their fluids drip down your face. It's so hit to them, they also can be gross with your cum, they will make a show of them playing with it in their mouth. They will seductively lick their lips and let your cum drip down their chin.

D = dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Venture always wanted to take you to a dig sight and fuck you there, its the mix of being outdoors where people can see and the fact you both are in some place so old yet doing something so sinful that gets them off. Maybe one day, but Venture isn't sure about how bringing the topic up could start.

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Venture is utterly clueless. But they make up for it in their enthusiasm. They love to please you, so anything you want, they can do it. Sloan never had much experience before you, maybe a fling in school at most, and even then, Sloan didn't gain much, but they do research on their own to figure out the best to please you.

F = favorite position (this goes without saying)

Venture has a big thing for 69. The fact they can please you with their mouth is their favorite. And feeling your mouth on theirs is amazing, they will cum fast but they make up for it in how ravenous they get for you after each time either of you cum.

G = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Venture can be so silly, in and out of the bedroom. Sloan can't help but be a little silly. They love seeing you smile, and watching your face as you laugh makes them so happy. You just make them so content, and how else are they supposed to show that then making you feel good? Venture loves hearing your giggles from something they said, turning into a moan or whimper. It gets them off.

H = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Venture doesn't strike me as the type to really groom, yes their hygienic, but that's about it. If you ask, they're more than happy to shave or wax, but if you don't mention it, they just let it grow as it pleases.

I = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Venture gives their all in anything they do, including getting you off. Sloan, when they try, can be a sappy romantic who gets candles and rose petals ready so they can blow your back out. Praise is a must, and they will tell you everything they love about you either whispered in your ear or muttered in Spanish. Each session of this is so romantic, and they know it, tell them how much you enjoy it, and rest assured it will become regular.

J = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Venture is easy to rile up, but they will try and distract themselves to the point where everything they think of gets them riled up and they can't do anything else but touch themselves. There is a near infinite amount of times they had to cover a wet spot in their pants or a boner and run away from a drill sight to go please themselves. If you get involved in teasing, they will become much to your every whim, use this sparingly please Sloan needs to get somethings done in a day..

K = kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise. Venture will forever get off on praise and so help me if you whisper it in their ear they cum so fast and hard it's crazy. Another one of Venture's kinks is sub/dom, Sloan loves the idea of doing everything you say for them to do for a little praise. They also live to be a soft dom. They please you and whisper sweet nothings while deciding what you two do. It's exciting.

L = location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere in your guys' place, really. But their absolute favorite is the couch. They love how many positions they can take you. Missionary just laying down, doggy with you bent over the arm and draping you backward across the back so you're left to dangke iver the cushions as they rail into you. It's a favorite of yours and theirs for that reason.

M = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Any single thing, they love you, and they need you at all times. Bat your lashes seductively at them, run your fingers along their side as you walk by, and the rest of the day, they are daydreaming about how to take you when they get home. But two can play it that game, a quiet dream can have them grasping at the opportunity to tell you about it. They will whisper it in your ear in public and then act like nothing is happening. Their goal is to make you as pent up as they are so you can indulge them.

N = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything sadistic, they just can't bring it within themselves to be mean to you.. they love you too much to do that. If it's your thing, then they might indulge you by calling you a whole with lots of praise. Even then, it's just not their thing.

O = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Sloan lives to give head. End of story, they love the idea of lapping into your cunt with your juices running down their face. Slurping you up and watching your face as they lick their lips un a job well done, Sloan needs it in their life.

P = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Sloan, it depends. There are some days they want to go slow and admire their favorite treasure. Feel you quench around their fingers as they look deeply into your eyes. Other days, they have so much energy, either from a successful dig or seeing you after so long they need to let off steam. It's those days to expect not to leave the bed for an hour.

Q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Sloan enjoys quickies. It's enough to hold them off for a while, and it can get you both even more excited for later. A quick moment of giving you head, or you giving them a hand job, is fun. It's fast and a good way to get off, much better them their hand, that's for sure.

R = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

T = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Sloan is on the fence for a lot of things, asking them to do something, and they will give it a try to buy more public things or stuff involving pain, which makes them iffy. Ask them nicely, and they will think about it, but it isn't a garuntee for more harsh things.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Sloan is in shape, spending hours holding up the drill that weighs at least 70 pounds. They are not one to back down from difficult tasks, solo digs? With ease, but spending time with their favorite person? They can last about 3 rounds, with their high drive it can feel alot. But you can rest assured after each moment with them you both are leaving satisfied.

Venture loves using toys. In ancient societies, there have been dildos found, so what's stopping you two? They love to use a dildo on your or themselves, it's so hot watching you please yourself as they can just sit back and watch. Vibrators are a yes, putting it to your clit while they finger you is one of their favorite ways of getting you ready.

U = unfair (how much they like to tease)

They live to tease you, whispering what they will do to you in public is their main pick. But Venture won't just stop there, expect to see a raunchy text but a late reply, texting you is still a little too much of a thrill and they need a breather but you best know they can write a text that has you shifting in your seat as you read it.

V = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Venture isn't that loud. Making noise is a garuntee with how much praise they whisper to you or the panting and groans they give off. Pit don't expect loud moans from them. They like making you loud, but they feel embarrassed if their noises go past light whimpering.

W = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Venture is the type to find a type of aphrodisiac to play with, the idea of you both being so insatiable horny is an idea they want to try so bad. Expect Valentine's day they bring out those aphrodisiac chocolates for you two to try.

X = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Ventures build is a strong one. Their muscles are defined but still having enough chub to be squishy to hold and expect them to have a bit of a tummy. Amab Venture's cock stands at about 6 inches, thick and veiny. Afab Venture has a big clit, perfect for sucking on.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Venture loves you, and with that company, all the lewd thoughts they have about you. Expect to find them pleasing themselves to your nudes alot, they need tou and always yearn for you.

Z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Venture is really out like a light, after everything is taken care uo they rest easy knowing you both had a good time. Holding you in their arms as they fall asleep is something they would never trade anything for, they love you and being able to sleep beside you after such a passionate time is the best feeling in the world to Sloan.

[yanderetheumbrellaacademy]

When They Get Jealous

Summary: What happens when they someone flirting with you and they get jealous? Characters: Luther Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Lila Pitts, Allison Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves, Five Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves, Viktor Hargreeves, Marcus Hargreeves, Sparrow! Ben Hargreeves, Fei Hargreeves, Sloane Hargreeves, Jayme Hargreeves Tw: Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Su!c!dal indications

Luther Hargreeves

Kind of insecure

He's also angry and crushes whatever he's holding in his hands

He's surprised when looking down at the crushed item

Then he becomes annoyed

He'll go to the bathroom to clean up and you'll quickly follow him

"Are you okay?"

He's surprised by your presence and the fact that you followed him

He'll then feel bad about his feelings before

You would never hurt him and he knows that, so why would he even feel that way? You've never done anything to justify that feeling

"Um... Nothing, I accidently- uh, crushed this thing- You know... Strength issues..."

You'll help him clean up/patch up and it makes Luther guilty and he momentarily forgets about the previous feeling... At least until next time

Deigo Hargreeves & Lila Pitts

What a duo

Lila definitely filled Diego's head with delusions and will convince him to do something stupid [Like kill the person flirting w/ you] while she hides the body

Lila takes it better, but inside she's more pissed than Diego

Diego is mad at you and won't talk to you. You'll have to profusely apologize and prove to him you care, otherwise he won't speak to you. Trust, he can hold a grudge

Lila, on the other hand, is very extroverted and will go over to where you are and talk to the person who was flirting with you

There's is definitely tension in the air, even though it doesn't show on her face

She's all smiles and happy, but it doesn't show in her eyes

Deigo is mad, but Lila sees it as an opportunity to manipulate you [She also wants a reason to kill somone]

You try and talk back and she'll bring up how sad it makes them when people flirt with you and she'll emotionally manipulate into feeling bad

You didn't like the person but... maybe she's right? I mean- you didn't exactly tell the person no or that you were taken, but you had asked them to stop.... Was that enough?

Allison Hargreeves

Oh, no no no nononononono

She is NOT letting that happen

The person who's flirting with you must have a death wish

She doesn't want to use her powers, but...

Well, she really has to fight the urge

She looks very sweet and kind, so she can just come into the conversation and play nice girl

She'll drag you off, talking about needing your help or something, while apologizing for taking you away [But she doesn't really mean it]

You won't even notice she's mad until you're alone

She'll accuse you of cheating or trying to leave her

You're taken by surprise, but don't even try and fight her, because she's in a very low/depressive state, so she'd be easy to push into doing something drastic

So, you'll have to wait until she feels better to confront her

Klaus Hargreeves

They already assume you don't love them, so this just fills this delusion they have

It really bums them out and they get super depressed

They get extra clingy whenever they get you alone

They're usually pretty clingy, so you don't think about it to much

Until, they start whining about the guy at the bar

They'll ask you if you like them [Flirter] more than them [Klaus]

You'll tell them no, but they don't believe you

They'll emotion manipulate you saying that you probably hate them and if you ever leave them, they'll kill themselves

Five Hargreeves

Someone flirting with you? Do they have a death wish??

Not afraid to kill a man or women. He doesn't care

The only issue is he'd never admit his jealousy. You have to confront him and at first he'll deny it, but if you keep pushing he'll get pissed and yell 'You know what- I am jealous! So what!?!'

You're surprised he admitted it, but that's the only time you're getting it

He'll deny saying it and gaslight you into thinking it never happened

He will kill them, he just needs a little time, which he has plenty of

It is bloody, gory and gruesome

No one will find the body, but he'll make sure you know the person is dead and it's all your fault

He'll make sure you never do it again because he hates this feeling and it bothers the hell out of him

Ben Hargreeves

He wasn't really having fun at the party, so when seeing someone hit on you, it just made his night worse

He's scared you'll realize that he's not good enough

He hates the icky feeling in his stomach and it only continues to grow

Though it does make the feeling subside when seeing you roll your eyes and push the person out of the way before heading towards him

It makes him giddy and smile; Like a school boy

The fact that you'd chose him over everyone else really fuels his obsession, so be warned

When you get to him, you complain about the person

"Did you see them?"

He'll pretend that he wasn't paying attention and you gasp, before sitting down and ranting about how stupid that person was

He practically has hearts in his eyes and he looks at you like you're the only person in the world, which to him you are

Viktor Hargreeves

He's annoyed, but he's not going to do anything drastic [Or at least he tries]

He wants to do something, but he doesn't really know what to do, because he's never had like a good relationship

He watches sadden from afar before wallowing in his own self pity

Though, after everything that has happened, he is a little bit more confident it just takes some working up before he can go over to you

He'll debate about it for a few though. Like he'll sit up, but quickly sit back down and do it over again until he finally gathers the courage to approach you

He'll finally approach you, thinking of what he's going to do as he approaches you, but when he finally approaches you he's still lost on what to do

He'll just act and kiss you infront of the person, which takes the flirter by surprise

The flirter will apologize and end up leaving you alone

You're surprised by Viktor's brazen behavior, but it's also kind of a turn on and he'll kiss you again before you can comment on it

Marcus Hargreeves

He doesn't get 'jealous'

That word isn't even in his dictionary

Well, that was until he saw a guy flirting with you

What is this feeling???

It's an icky feeling that he doesn't like it

He'll put an end to it quickly [Both the flirting and the feeling]

You're kind of taken aback when Marcus comes up to you and pulls you away from the conversation

He would have folded his way into the conversation, but he would have been passive aggressive

You try and ask him what's wrong, but he's quick to deflect the conversation

He'll push the feeling deep down and it'll come up when you both get into a fight

Sparrow! Ben Hargreeves

He's furious

If he wasn't busy nursing his drink, he probably would have knocked the guy out. Thankfully he's drunk and not sober

Though he can't help the thoughts in his mind... Violent thoughts

The thoughts will become a lot and he has to leave

He's mad at the person, but then he starts thinking and he suddenly becomes mad at you

How come you didn't tell them to back off????

He becomes slightly insecure but he fights that feeling and it becomes overcome with anger

He'll end up leaving without you, because he needs time to be alone and think

Though, this just makes his feelings worse. While he's drunk he's sad and depressed, but when he becomes sober, his emotions quickly turn to anger and he wants to confront you

So, when he sees you again he's anger has already been bubbling up and he blows up

You're taken aback and kind of scared because he's so mad and he's yelling and you can't even decipher what he's talking about

He needs some time to cool off, but he can't be alone, because his feelings will cool off

You'll go to another room while he cools off, so that he knows you're still around, but you're not alone together

He will eventually calm down and apologize for his behavior, but not with words, but like subtle actions, gifts, and such

Fei Hargreeves

You don't even know she's jealous, because she hides it so well

She's kind of scary looking, so no-one has approached her

She takes her jealousy pretty well and doesn't let it bother her

It just kind of rolls off her back

She's confident and knows who she is and what she wants, so she's not threatened by some nobody trying to hit on you

Though, if she sees you getting uncomfortable, she will step in

Thanks to her looks, they back off rather quickly

It's rather silly to her and she finds the whole thing stupid

She takes it the best and doesn't let it bother her

10/10 best girlfriend <3

Sloane Hargreeves

She's a sweet girl and doesn't deserve to be sad

She's a hopeless romantic, so when she sees people flirting and being cute, she instantly is like 'Awww' until she realizes it's you

Then she's mad and her mind races with multiple different scenario

What if you leave her?

Oh god, what if you don't love her anymore?

What if you click with them so well that you think they're you're soul mate and you leave he-

She shakes her head, before standing up

She fixes her hair, before putting on her brightest smile and approaching you

She's very beautiful, so they person who was hitting on you will turn and flirt with her too

She'll become annoyed, because they were just hitting on you and now they're hitting on her? Were you not good enough for them???

Who did they think they were?

Instead of being mad that they were flirting with you, she's mad they STOPPED flirting with you to flirt with her

You're incredible, so she's confused why they don't realize that

She calls them on it and you're really flattered, but you have to drag her away, so she doesn't get to carried away

Jayme Hargreeves

It's more of an annoyance

She doesn't think about it to much

She's probably the only one who WILL come up to you and interrupt your conversation in a rude way

If the flirter is rude to her she'll use her powers and pull you away from them

It all happens so fast, you don't even process it until you're back at the house

"What the hell was that???"

She doesn't even turn to you, but you do here her make a sound of confusion

Your brows frown, and you groan, "Why did you use your powers on that person"

"Why were you flirting with them?" Still she hasn't turned towards you

"I wasn't flirting with them!"

She keeps her cool, making brash accusations, which causes you to get angry and by the end of it she makes it seem like YOU are the crazy one

[lovedrruunk]

It would be so cool if you could write a venture x reader where Y/N is too nervous to speak to Venture so Mercy wingmans for them‼️

‘The best wingwoman ! ଘ(˵╹ᴗ╹)━☆

Venture (Overwatch) x GN reader

Authors note!; super cute request!!! Did I tell u guys I'm a mercy main…. DISGUSTING I KNOW!! But I also main Ana so it cancels out… also tbh there’s a lot of requests that I haven’t gotten to *YET* simply bc idk how to go about them :( but this one came to me rlly easily !! Ty!!! also finished this whole thing while listening to phantom of the opera on repeat for 2 hours (i need 2 write a moira fic omg...) UPDATE: HELLO??? THE MERCY MYTHIC? okok ill stfu now sry!!

Earlier today, you were dragged to a work party by your colleague and guardian angel, Angela Ziegler. You begged her to let you stay home, but she refused, saying she wouldn't be able to go without you since you were the only coworker she actually enjoyed spending time with. And so, being the amazing friend you are, of course, you agreed to go to keep her company!... Just kidding!

Angela knew you too well. Once she mentioned that the cutie from the Wayfinder Society was attending, you did a complete 180, now asking her what you should wear. She couldn't help but laugh at your reaction, amused at how predictable you were when it came to romance.

Sloane Cameron, also known as Venture, also known as the cutie from the Wayfinder Society, had quickly captured your attention ever since you first met them a couple of months ago when the Wayfinder Society was adopted by Overwatch as a sub-branch. Being the head anthropologist for Overwatch led you to spending a good amount of time with Venture and their team. Granted, it was just work and sharing data and all that, but you couldn't help but find them super intriguing. They were funny, lively, and so passionate about their work! But as badly as you wanted to get to know them, you just couldn't. Their confidence was a blessing and a curse, being the cause of why you liked them and the cause of why you were so terrified of talking to them.

Every week or so, you and Angela meet up at the cafeteria at Overwatch's headquarters to catch up while drinking your morning coffee/tea/whatever, which you of course just use as time to gush about your overwhelming crush on your new coworker. But last week... last week, you had decided enough was enough. You made a promise to Angela that by next week, you would at least ask them if they'd want to hang out outside of work. Feeling pumped and confident, you had excitedly gotten all dolled up for the party.

And now, here you were. The party was in an old Victorian mansion with lots of expensive art and chandeliers, nothing less for Overwatch, of course. The first time you had attended a work party, you were extremely underdressed, assuming it was a casual get-together, not at all expecting it to be an elegant and serious "ball" like party. You cringed at the memory before Angela snapped you out of it, handing you a glass of champagne.

"So? Is today the day?" she questions as she leans against the back wall you had been standing next to.

"I don't know, Angela..." you whined as you not so discreetly stared at them from across the room.

It was the first time you had seen them in formal attire, and you couldn’t help but admire how they looked good in everything.

"Go ask them to dance!" She suggested happily.

"What!? No way! I can't dance, especially not with them!"

“Oh, don't give me that! The worst they could say is no."

"'No' is definitely not the worst they could say. They could say 'get away from me' or 'why are you talking to me about something other than rocks' or 'your foundation doesn't match your neck.. and no I would rather drop dead than dance with you'."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm serious!- Wait!! Did you see that? They smiled at the new rookie! What if they like her!? What if they came here together!? What if they're dating!? Married!!? Oh my god, and now they're chatting it up with Tiff from communications! They're laughing, what's so funny!?"

"You have got to be kidding me..."

"Right!? She's not even funnier than me..."

Catching you off guard, Angela grips your shoulders, forcing you to face her.

"Shut up," she says sternly, fighting off the urge to smack you in the face. "Just ask them. You'll never know until you do... And if you don't, I owe that infuriating geneticist twenty bucks..." She murmurs the last part to herself angrily.

"Y'know what? You're right!"

You quickly finish the glass of champagne, putting it on the table next to you. Feeling encouraged by your friend, you take a deep breath before marching towards Venture... right before turning your heel and marching straight back to Angela.

"I feel like I'm gonna throw up..."

"You haven't even said anything!!!"

After a bit of back and forth, Angela is fed up and tells you that if you weren't going to do anything about it, then she will.

As she makes her way towards Venture, you whisper yell at her, begging her to come back and let you give it another try. But knowing you, she decides to ignore your desperate pleas as she continues to happily strut towards them.

From the distance, you can't make out what they're talking about, and it's driving you nuts. Angela's back is facing you, but Venture's face lights up, so you decide to take that as a good sign. And just as you start to smile... Angela turns around and points at you.

You freeze in place for what felt like a year before your eyes focus again. Venture is grinning as they wave to you, and Angela uses her hand to call you over. You force a wide smile (not aware of how crazy you look) as you timidly walk up to the two of them.

"Y/N! I was just mentioning to our sweet Cameron over here how you love to dance! They've never been to a party like this, isn't that crazy!"

"Yeah!! Wayfinder never had the funding by itself to afford something like this! I've never really had a reason to learn how to dance, so I have no clue; was hoping you could teach me!?"

"Me? Oh, sorry! I don't know how to dance!"

"But... Dr. Ziegler just said.."

"I know! Poor little Angie... ever since her last birthday, her memory has been terrible!! Must've confused me with Lena!"

You could feel the death glare Angela was giving you, but you continued to smile innocently at them.

"Well... I guess this would be a good opportunity for us to learn, don't ‘cha think?" Of course. Of course, they would somehow find a solution to your excuse.

"Great idea!!" Angela claps her hands together happily. "Why don't you two head to the dance floor? You'll only learn from experience!"

"I agree!"

Before you can say anything, you're dragged by the hand of a very excited Venture, and although your palms are sweaty and your head is spinning, you can't help but feel so much excitement.

. . .

And so as the dancefloor clears and the two of you are making your way out to the gardens, you spot a grinning Angela and a scowling Moira putting away her wallet.

[lucius-morningstar]

More Hazbin babies? Plus Helluva Boss Kids?

Yep, you read the title right. Now mind you these guys may not have any connection to my current time line (May, it depends in all honestly.) Let me start with my Hazbin kids, one crack ship I have been super into is Sera and Carmilla. It has honestly been a ship of mine for a while and I have no idea why. But I feel like if anyone could charm a stiff like Sera, it'd be Carmilla. Anyway I do have a design from BRUXISMEAT.

I don't think this girl will have any relevance to my AU but I absolutely love her, I chose a rather ironic name and literally named her Seraphina. Cause I love that name. And now I have a surprise for you, a CherriPentious child. (She was originally a crack baby of Vaggie/Pentious. I do not ship them it was from a grid adopt.) Anyway, everyone meet Roshelle

She was a beautiful design that I've been in love with since day one. The artist who designed her was Faithful-Flower. The following designs are also from the same artist. Next we have some Helluva Boss babies. Let's start with my girl Matillda. She is the daughter of Millie & Moxxie.

She's a little wild fire who loves to cause chaos but at the same time be as helpful as possible. She has two friends as well who may or may not join in on the chaotic fun. Now that they're mentioned, allow me to introduce you to another gal. Everyone say hello to Mellariat. Her name was taken from the words Malaria and Lariat. That's it, her name doesn't mean anything, she is a Stolas x Blitzo child. Her power is unknown and she can be a bit self conscious about her looks but hides behind a cocky bravado much like her dad.

I also got an extra piece of art done by a friend of mine named TruDraws.

Last but not least, we have our adopted daughter of Loona, her name is Sloane. The art was done by bijutsuyoukai.

I will eventually get an AsmodeFizz baby cause I want too!. Do you think these gals should be apart of my Hazbin verse?

[bitchesgetriches]

Regarding economics books: I'd also add that any standard book about econ 101 is going to be very useful. The sad reality is that most people don't understand basic econ principles and then sound kinda dumb when they make arguments (e.g. ignorance about the role of markets in determining/influencing wages and prices). Learn the basics. But keep in mind that most economists are conservative (e.g. they literally favor price gouging), and econ101 can seem very conservative - but the complexities arise in econ 102 etc and in the interaction between politics and economics (which for some reason many economists pretend doesn't exist). But yeah, learn the basics! Then read all the books about the problems with our system and its econ101 perspective (many good ones of which were already suggested).

We can't fix the economic system by ignoring economics; we need people to understand it more deeply.

Cheers!

Well said my darling cherub!

Especially on Econ 201. This is how I curated my list of "favorite economists": I basically found the progressive ones who recognize not only the interplay of politics and economics, but our ethical responsibility to prevent predatory economic practices that perpetuate systemic poverty.

Anyway, here's a few more book reviews (more personal-financey than economicsy, with the exception of the Alexander) we've covered on the blog:

The New Jim Crow, by Michelle Alexander: A Bitchtastic Book Review

Yanely Espinal Gets Real About Financial Strategy in New Book Mind Your Money 

Barbara Sloan's New Book Dares To Suggest Service Industry Professionals Deserve Financial Stability Too 

Bitchtastic Book Review: Tanja Hester on Early Retirement, Privilege, and Her Book, Work Optional 

Did we just help you out? Join our Patreon!

[mangoshorthand]

If we're insisting on a romantic plotline for Five set up in Season 3

Right. I've heard people saying that Five/Lila was set up from season 3. That all their banter was deliberate foreshadowing or something. Now, I'm not sure if that's something the writers said or if that's just people seeing banter and affection and then attributing it to romance with the benefit of foresight. (If it's the former, then it was set up extremely poorly and frankly I refuse to believe that was the plan).

So, if Five had to have a romance plot in s4, (as Blackman decreed) here's how I would have set it up from season 3 in a way that would hopefully not have seemed too weird/forced.

One of the main gripes people had about that season is that most of the Sparrows were introduced and then discarded quickly, so the introduction of a plotline in which Five has a dynamic with one of them might have gone some way towards helping with this.

Now, I know that pairing Five with a Sparrow is an overused fanfic trope that rarely plays well and it's kinda weird for TWO Hargreeves boys to pair up with their multiverese sisters, BUT we are living under Blackman-law and thus Aidan Gallagher must swap spit with someone as soon as possible after turning 18 so this is the best I have:

I would change/develop (and potentially recast) Jayme. Be prepared...this is long:

Personality/Background

She feels out of place in her family.

She hates the limelight and doesn't cooperate in their branding activities.

Even with Reggie drugged up, life feels just as shitty (maybe shittier) to her being under Marcus' regime.

She's been done with the whole sparrow academy thing since she was a kid and is fascinated by the somethings and nothings of ordinary life.

She has a tendency to 'run away' and do her own thing. The Sparrows see her as unreliable and selfish.

She's cynical and feels no loyalty to the Sparrows as a whole, but she does have personal loyalty to Sloane and Alphonso.

You could put her in the wrong/younger body like Five, which could also be leveraged to put distance between herself and the other sparrows, but I also think that would be too convenient a plot contrivance to play well on screen.

I would keep Season 3's plot largely similar, just with the addition of a friendship between Five and Jayme:

S3 E1+2

Initial fight

Five and Jayme have the same initial fight scene with a little more prominence. It goes roughly the same way but perhaps add a bit more interaction/smack talk between them.

Bar Room conversion

At the point Five is first wearing his retirement outfit, a situation occurs that sees he and Jayme sitting at the bar of the hotel obsidian. There are few hard feelings about the fight. They grouse a little and rub along well even though Five clearly thinks she's a spy.

They get onto the kiss with hallucinatory Delores and Five's whole story comes out.

Jayme thinks the peace and quiet of the apocalypse sounds kind of nice (a notion he thoroughly disabuses her of).

She finds herself oddly touched by Five's devotion to getting home to his family, although she can't really fathom doing the same and finds it hilarious that he continues to insist that she must be a spy because they're her family.

Jayme tells a story of being a child and hiding in the mansion and playing house in a little den where nobody could find her. It was her escape. When she got older, she used to escape the mansion and hitchhike around the country for weeks at a time, enjoying a slice of ordinary life.

Five asks her why she came back every time instead of staying away. She can't answer him, but the answer is obvious to him: she too loves her family and doesn't really know how to live in the real world beyond her childhood 'playing house' in her den.

She strikes back that it takes one to know one, and Five concedes this.

But her story chimes with Five, and this is what catalyses his retirement/roadtrip arc with Klaus.

S3 E3-6

Five is pretty busy so they don't interact again until E7. BUT...

The bar room conversation with Five pricks Jayme's conscience and she throws herself into trying to find Marcus and protecting her family.

The confrontation with Harlan goes similarly except Jayme doesn't die and she is instead devastated about Alphonso's death, making her one of the fiercest advocates for killing Harlan. She's angry that Allison did it and she couldn't.

S3 E7

Before trapping the Kugelblitz in Christoper

Jayme lashes out at Five/all of them. Five correctly intuits that she's still upset about Alphoso and angry she didn't get to kill Harlan.

He comforts her in his uptight way and tells her from experience that killing for revenge/out of anger doesn't do any good, but resonates with her that not being able to save the people you love is a terrible, powerless feeling. He ends in saying that, for what it's worth, she shouldn't feel bad for wanting a normal life.

She hugs him tightly, surprising him. He hugs back stiffly but not unhappily.

Post-Kugel-trapping

Lila encourages Five onto the dancefloor, and Five in turn encourages Jayme onto the dancefloor.

They dance and laugh, and it's clear that they enjoy being dance partners. There are a few cross shots that show them liking one another's company. The last we see them together is somewhere around Lila telling Diego she's pregnant and Luther and Sloane's engagement:

Five and her are slumped on a couch. She said she's glad it's over and she's going to put all this behind her.

He asks what she's going to do. She says she wants to try to be a family without being a Sparrow and find her own way in the world. She's going to open a little coffee shop, grow her own food, find a simple life. What about him?

He tells her that his road trip with Klaus didn't go as planned, so he's planning to get nice convertible and go travelling for a while. She says that he'd better put her coffee shop on his route. He replies that he'd like that, and then leaves to find Viktor.

Right before the Kugel-splosion

She is in the conversation with Ben, Christopher and Fei and states her intent to leave and have nothing to do with their plans, but still wants to stay on good terms.

They reject her pretty roundly, and she leaves to go and find Sloane thinking she'll have more luck with her.

And then Christopher blows.

Halfway up the stairs, Jayme is unconscious as a result of some falling rubble, and the expanding Kugelblitz puts her and Ben in equal danger. Five instinctively saves Ben (because he will always choose his family) and Jayme dies in the mansion.

S3 E8-10 (After Jayme's Death)

Five feels guilty and more than a little resentful of Sparrow Ben's assholery given what happened.

His decision to give up the fight and accept the end of the world is somewhat influenced by his bitterness over this.

Otherwise, S3 continues unchanged.

S4 (nearly there)

I would have to rewrite the entire series, but here are the basics:

Jayme crops up again, unable to remember anything until marigold is reintroduced.

She and Five are the ones who get stuck in the subway (or similar plot device that allows years to pass for them while no time passes for Five's siblings). They get together relatively quickly, maybe within a year or so. They have a peaceful few years together growing their own food and trying to coax an old barista station back to life so they can make their own coffee. They're both genuinely happy, Jayme absolutely thrives there, and there would be lots of scenes of Aidan Gallagher kissing someone for Steve to enjoy. (Sorry Steve. Your writing decisions might suck but I'm really giving you a hard time here.)

When Five finds the journal, he hides it from her, although he clearly struggles with himself over it, and becomes unhappy. After a few months of him not being himself, Jayme finally gets it out of him.

When she asks why, Five's all: "Because I choose you. I didn't choose you last time so I'm choosing you this time. I love you blah blah kissy kissy for Steve"

And Jayme's like "Yeah, I appreciate it but I love you too. You wouldn't be the man I love if you didn't leave this behind and go back to your family. I want you to be happy and you can't be happy knowing that you can get back to them."

Five accepts this sadly and thanks her for the little slice of normality and peace they shared together. For a moment it looks like she's going to stay and he's going to leave, but at the last second she joins him. Five is her family now, and so are all the Umbrellas too. She can't keep 'playing house' alone. Wherever they are, she will be happy.

And then the series ends totally differently and they all get their happy endings.

[sloanesallow]

G.O.U.S.

Happy Halloween! Just a silly little thing I wrote because I wanted to put Sloane in a Princess costume and Sebastian as the Dread Pirate Roberts. Sebastian Sallow x F!MC (Siobhan Sloane) Tags: Gratuitous references to The Princess Bride.  1.6k words [Ao3] | [Wattpad] | [Tumblr Masterlist]

Siobhan should know better than to follow a boy she hardly knows into something called the Forbidden Forest, alone. If her father knew (and she prays he doesn't find out about what else she's been up to with said boy), she'd be forced on the first train back to Nottingham, never to be out of his sight again. But Papa Sloane is three hundred miles away, and Sebastian's lopsided smile is too endearing to refuse.

The invite originally came a few days prior, a nonchalant mention of a Halloween gathering in the woods—a Slytherin affair that some of the older Hogwarts students opt for instead of the festivities in Hogsmeade. It is Siobhan's first opportunity to attend a party with her peers, so she agrees to be Sebastian's plus-one.

It is also the first Halloween she's dressed up for since she was young, a last-minute princess costume put together with the help of her Hufflepuff housemates. The dress is Poppy's from the previous year—a Renaissance style with long sleeves and a billowy skirt, which Sacharissa charms pink. The girls don't let Siobhan leave the common room without magically altering her hair into soft golden waves that fall past her shoulders. She isn't one to care much about her appearance, but tonight, Siobhan can't help but feel pretty.

Sebastian meets her in the courtyard after sunset, dressed head-to-toe in black, a mask obscuring the top half of his face, cloth covering his hair, and a sheathed sword hanging from the belt around his waist. He looks rather dashing, even if she can't quite tell what he's supposed to be dressed up as. After complimenting her costume, he boldly clasps her hand in his gloved one and leads her down the darkened path.

"This way."

A half-hour later, however, Siobhan's excitement wanes. The woods are forbidden for a reason, and the eerie sounds that echo beyond the treeline send a shiver up her spine. It's dark, with the full moon their only guiding light. She wants to trust Sebastian, but there's a lingering fear in the back of her mind that he's taken advantage of her naivete. When he slows their pace, she pulls away to observe their surroundings. Everything still looks the same as it has for the last several meters; tall trees, tangled vines, and thick shrubbery that obscure the forest floor.

Sebastian, meanwhile, is unphased. "It's not that bad."

When he notices her bewildered, unamused expression, he shrugs. "Well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely."

In the distance, an unknown beast howls, and her pout deepens. He sighs, clasping her hand again before leading them through the rugged terrain.

"I think we're lost," Siobhan says, not moving from the spot.

Still, Sebastian gives her arm a little tug and grins as if they are walking through Honeydukes instead of a haunted forest. "We're only mostly lost."

Reluctantly, she continues with him, realizing she's better off staying with Sebastian than trying to find her way back to the castle. She nibbles on her bottom lip, quickening her stride to match his. When another ominous sound echoes through the night, she flinches, grasping his arm with her free hand.

"Don't worry, princess," Sebastian comforts, squeezing her hand. "I'll keep you safe."

Siobhan feels her face go hot, but doesn't move away. He guides her through the brush, pulling aside branches and pointing out large tree roots so she won't trip. The journey has dirtied the hem of her dress, but he is quick to reassure her again.

"Nothing a little cleaning charm won't fix."

When they come across more swampland, Sebastian plucks Siobhan off the ground before she can protest, one arm tucked under her knees and the other around her waist. She holds onto his shoulders, sucking in a breath at the proximity of his face to hers. She's only known Sebastian for a short while and is still not completely used to how familiar he is with his touch, but is too shy to tell him to stop, wondering if she even wants him to.

The mask he wears accentuates his eyes, and she stares, trying to decide if they remind her more of chocolate or coffee. He notices with a smirk, and her cheeks flush with heat all over again. Siobhan breaks the tension before he can say or do anything else.

"You haven't explained what you're dressed as."

Sebastian is momentarily surprised as if he expected her to say something else. "Why, I'm the Dread Pirate Roberts."

"...who?"

"The Dread Pirate Roberts," he repeats, clicking his tongue in mock disapproval at her lack of recognition. "He's not a man to be trifled with."

Siobhan doesn't hide her confusion. "Is this another wizarding tale I'm unfamiliar with?"

"Not at all," he protests, shaking his head. "The Dread Pirate Roberts is a very real person."

"But who is he?" she asks again.

Sebastian places her down once the forest floor evens out again and waves his arms in a flourish. "Why, he's me!"

Siobhan remains perplexed. "I...don't follow."

"Let me explain," he starts, grasping her hand once more as they continue along the path. "I learned about the Dread Pirate Roberts in my first year and thought it was a made-up tale, too. Some cautionary story they tell students so they don't go off exploring on their own—as if that would stop me. Instead, I started patrolling the Feldcroft harbor, wondering if any of the ships in the distance were actual pirates."

"I thought it was all hogwash until one summer evening I was captured and taken aboard."

"You were captured?" she is alarmed by his cavalier tone. "Weren't you frightened?"

Sebastian grins. "Sweetheart, I'm never frightened."

"But that's when I met him, Roberts, that is," he continues with a shrug. "Perhaps he took pity on me or was so impressed by my tenacity that he decided to keep me on as his valet. He said I could try for the night, but that he'd most likely kill me in the morning."

Siobhan blinks in disbelief. He has to be leading her on, right?

"All summer he said that, 'good night, Sallow. Good work, sleep well, I'll most likely kill you in the morning.' It was a fine time for me, all things considered," Sebastian explains. "Better than being cooped up with Uncle Solomon, if he even noticed my absense. I was learning to duel, and spells anyone on board was willing to teach me."

"Roberts and I eventually became friends," he says with a fond smile. "And then it happened."

"What?" Siobhan asks. "Go on."

"Well, Roberts had grown so rich, that he wanted to retire. So he took me to his cabin and told me his secret," he pauses to scoop her up again and she is so transfixed on his story that she doesn't care. "'I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts', he said. 'My name is Ryan. I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from was not the real Dread Pirate Roberts, either. The real Roberts has been retired for fifteen years and living like a king in Patagonia."

"He explained it was the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary fear. I doubt students would be fearful of someone called the Dread Pirate Cumberbun."

Siobhan furrows her brows in concern. "But you were just a child!"

"Thirteen, yes," Sebastian nods. "Which is why I wasn't exactly ready to leave my life behind. There was Anne and Ominis...not to mention Hogwarts. I'm not sure my parents would approve of me abandoning my schooling to live on the high seas as a pirate wizard."

"Roberts reluctantly let me go but insisted on me keeping the story alive," he says, placing her down again and brushing an errant lock of hair from her face. "So, what do you think?"

Siobhan refrains from calling him a loony and simply smiles. His gloved fingers linger by her cheek and she steadies herself, holding her breath again when his gaze darts from her eyes to her lips and back. Just as he dips his head closer, there's some rustling from the nearby brush, and a giant, unidentifiable beast lunges out in a dark blur. She lets out a startled scream as it tackles Sebastian to the ground, snarling as the two wrestle in the dead leaves.

In a panic, Siobhan grabs a large, club-like branch from the forest floor and smacks it against the beast's back until it rolls off of Sebastian with a groan. What she thought was a rabid monster turns out to be Garreth Weasley, wearing a hideous costume.

"Oi!" he shouts, raising his arms in defense. "It's only me!"

"Bloody hell, Weasley," Sebastian curses, out of breath as he pushes himself off the ground. "What in Merlin's name was that for? And what the hell are you dressed as?"

Garreth remains sprawled out. "A rodent of unusual size."

Before he can say anything else, Poppy Sweeting rushes down the path, the sparkly enchanted wings on her back leaving a trail of pixie dust.

"There you two are!" she shouts as she approaches. "We got worried when you didn't show up to the party!"

"We got lost," Siobhan explains, glancing at Sebastian.

"Mostly lost," he corrects, adjusting his costume with a smirk.

Garreth bounces upright and claps him on the back, gesturing to where they need to go. The two boys bicker about directions while Poppy looks at Siobhan with a curious expression. "Did we interrupt something?"

Siobhan shakes her head, knowing her blush says otherwise. Her friend links their arms and starts to describe the caramel-flavored butterbeer being served at the party. A few paces ahead, Sebastian looks over his shoulder at Siobhan, the two sharing a small smile. He winks, and her heart flutters—perhaps the Forbidden Forest isn't so bad, after all.

[lifes-line]

DEFO DEFO TAZ SPOILERS

So one of my favorite taz aus is what I call "the replacement au" or the "Lup Au" which is basically what if it was Taako who died or went missing and it was Magnus, Merle, and Lup working for the BOB

In which case that poses a lot of questions for each arc so lemme tell you my theories on how it would've gone

Here they be gerblins:

Lup has always had a horrible ache in her heart. She wouldn't call it depression but no matters how hard she tries to move on and forget. She has always felt something painful and missing in her heart. Like someone ripped out a huge half of it and left her with the rest. She's had this feeling all her lonely life as a single child and no matter what magic she used on herself or how many people she surrounded herself with... she couldn't escape that feeling... Magnus and Merle somehow helped though. Being the absolute dumbasses they are.

Lup finds herself flirting with barry blue jeans and disappointed he wont be joining them later-

Lup sees Taako's skeleton/corpse and takes the wizard hat and his glave(or whatever his magical weapon he made during their year of artificing was)

She feels drawn to the phoenix fire gauntlet and she teases about putting it on alot(before phandalin goes to shit), she also gives it a high five but she isnt dumb enough to put it on and understands how dangerous it is and how devestating the events that follow are

Lunar interlude one

Lucretia is baffled to see lup having taako's things on but thats not important

im gonna say Lup gets pretty similar things to taako since they are the same class(just different schools of magic)

She doesn't fuck with leon as much as taako does but she still does of course

Murder on the rock port limited:

They get on the train without charm person but of course theyre still "not who they appear to be" as merle keeps loudly insisting they kill the ticket guy

Lup respects angus but they dont get close as he does with Taako so instead Angus gets closer with Magnus though Lup does offer to teach angus some magic lessons

Smokes that crab

Pretty much all of the taako things except she might be a lil less dramatic about the drink cart

Petals to the metal

Lup and hurley are bffs dont even trip

Lup defo found Sloane attractive but backed off when she found out she was taken

also found captain captain bane attractive

a quip of "My type are hardcore nerds with those obnoxious spectacles and sexy science facts"

Lup either picks a mongoose mask or goes with a phoenix I imagine

She would threaten the guards to get into the hammerhead base at first but then switch up to help out Merle's plan - or she'd just straight up kill the last guy and hit em with the "I forgot about that"

Since theres no way to absorb the arcane core she makes it explode and it works just as well

You can assume she has taakos position in the car ride, but most likely she cannot summon Garyl and instead klaarg comes in and saves merle and later her

Red robe shows up and shes the only one who fucking remembers the director telling them about them and she is the only one to insist they dont listen to him

but they do anyway and she gets majorly suspicious

Small lunar interlude:

Fuck Lucas but not fuck him but yknow

Oh yeah the red robe? "I want to let you know I am the only one who actually remembered we should've bounced"

Crystal Kingdom

Oooh transmutation relic not her thing

She cooks tho

Lucretia? "That's such a cute ass name, I'm gonna start calling you Lucy"

can i also have a red suit

that pink thing looks like salt

Also in consensus Lucas in fact a huge asshole.

Actually answers buddy bots question/riddles within the first two minutes

Yeah ill go into the elevator world? Oh no cockroaches? Yeah Lup makes fun of merle for liking cockroaches and then kills the one he missed.

They meet N03ll3 which is great and all but what do you mean you keep picking up lich activity

Go into Lucas's room cause Lup disguises self

Ok I dont know what a lich is why do you keep harassing me

Merle loses an arm oh fuck

Also gonna kill Lucas

fine lets learn some science

oh its that red bitch again - Lup is only not running because her boys wanna hear this too and also this lich is like weirdly flirting with her

"It's... Lup, where did you get that hat?" "Oh this? I took it off of some skeleton on our first adventure." "... oh my god.. you.. you found him... you..."

Weird I just made this lich who was flirting with me upset about my dope ass hat

YEAH SHES BEEN WEARING TAAKOS WIZARD HAT THIS WHOLE ASS TIME

skipping a bit woah oil can time

woah the crystal guy is back and instead of merle being the most dangerous its Luuuuuup? Whyyyyy????

"Wait haven't I seen you before?" He asks Lup and she tilts her head. The crystal shakes his head. "Nevermind. one second-"

Guys hes calling me a lich or possessed by one what do I do

Kick ass, Not tentacling dick ew, lucas there you are - woah magnus

Oh its the grim reaper, No we are not being shipped together-

Lore

"And you, Lup. Are still dead." "... Sorry what-" "You're dead?" "Nah I still got my hit points, I mean I'm bruised and bloody but I'm still alive." "Yeah is this maybe another Lup... or...?" "No. She's a lich. She is an undead entity that must be locked away in the eternal stockade." "How about fuck that (tries to kick his ass)"

More lore

YoU ATE THE WHAT

Oh hi kravitz, can you look pass this posession if I promise to have someone free me? And if this lich leaves me so im not a vessel anymore you can come get it, trust "... I.. I cannot let a lich get out of my sight." "Bro I cannot fight you anymore." "Well, it would be more dangerous if you died but you refuse to come peacefully." "I dont think Im a lich I just think im posessed - we've done a lot of crazy shit in our adventures-" bla bla bla fine its settled

We'll debrief in a sec ig here lemme uhh. i dont have transmutation its so over , just shape the damn stone and idk someone else can do magic right?

Debriefing oh yeah the red robe was there, yeah i lowkey dont really trust you, ok fine i can settle

They dont talk about the deaths to lucy in canon but after the debriefing Lup gathers the boys up and talks to them "Hey so you know how he called me an undead evil lich. so like... lets not tell the director and merle can you like perform an exorcism or something just to see if its true?" "Uh I have detective good and evil?" "Dope." And NOTHING HAPPENS BECAUSE LUP ISNT EVIL- but merle does detect some necromantic energy radiating off her whole being but he doesnt have like a spell to fix her so theyre like lets not worry about it rn

Lunar interlude

Alright angus this is magic, cooking? Why the fuck would i teach you how to cook

Ok you got me i grew up by myself in a lonesome life as a vendor but i didnt cook or anything I just spent my whole life doing side jobs and saving people. yeah fire is my speciality but like i wouldnt recommend it for you cause its literally fire. and youre a kid.

Whered I get the glave? A skeleton from a cave. He was wearing a red robe so lowkey maybe im possessed by his spirit but like... doubt.

Eleventh hour

I believe in you ango

woah we're here

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FIGHTING THE WORMS LEAVE THEM ALONE THEYRE JUST BABIES

alright lets get this bread - bye avi - hello clay perosn. roswell? ok Wow that statue sure is red what the fuck

"This is bad.. this is a bad thing i did." Yeah I kept it.

Hi Cassidy im sure we can be besties

woah earthquake

Lets go in the inn, oh hello pretty elf lady, ok she doesnt care about me wdym you know magnus - guys wait dont make me talk to her alone

"Why do you live in a bubble?" "Lup." "WHAT?"

I wanna meet paloma fuck you guys

I will go to town on these scones, you need gold can I trade you anything else

I can hardly remember these goddamn loops so lets assume that lup and taako do alot of the same shit except she doesnt steal any of this shit -

Put him in a bubble... ok-

Hi Istus, What's this? Not a bag of holding? "This item... has the ability to bring back anyone from the dead, as long as they have been deceased for at least over a decade." "Oh this could be useful for all the guys you killed!" "Yeah!" "Well... you could save it too but... yes I suppose so?" "But only for over a decade." "Why the fuck is that so specific?" "STOP SWEARING IN FRONT OF CHRISTMAS" "ITS ISTUS"

Ok get that cup

Fuck you issak

WOAH ITS THE CUP BACKSTORY TIME; Besides the long periods of static and weirdly fuzzy childhood, Lup's biggest regret in her life? Well she didn't have anything really. She didn't put any of her skills to good use.. except once. She was performing her evocation magic for money and it got out of hand. She seriously injured an innocent person that resulted in their death. "Lup... that is your biggest regret. But it hasn't happened yet. If you claim me, we can go back and save that life. They would have never died. We can go back and save them."

thats the best i can do

Lup probably takes the longest to think this over because she cant handle the fact she murdered an innocent but Magnus's speak of "Tell me what happens if we dont do this" convinces her to stay

DONT KILL THE WORM YOU BITCHES, LISTEN TO JUNE

FREEDOM

Oh fuck its that red robe again - no we dont fucking trust you

"You don't... You don't trust me...?" He looks to Lup, and floats down to her level. Despite his occasional flattery and softness when he speaks to her, lowering himself and looking her in the eye pulls at something invisible in her heart. Something she hasn't felt in forever. "Lup...? You don't trust me?" "I don't even know you." The red robe whispers some more things and electricity flies off of him as he vanishes.

Hi Paloma oh a vision? "In your hour of greatest need, you will receive help from the forgotten one."

Ok back home - oh fuck IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER?

Lets fight? OK!

Lunar interlude

Date at the chug n squeeze? Wrong. Battle of the century. Almost.

Lup v Kravitz the two face off with Kravitz just trying to knock Lup out so he can safely transfer her into the astral plane without her dying

Lup, who doesnt think shes a lich, is just trying not to die.

They dont do this on the moon, they do this in neverwinter

IS THAT THE FUCKING RED ROBE?

As he saves you. As you're down you feel something phase through you as a red robe walks through your body and presents itself in front of Kravitz. He emits that same electricity off of his body and Kravitz looks baffled but only rifts a hole into the astral plane. "You're coming with me." As the battle is only beginning the red robe whispers to you, Lup; "Run."

PURCHASES THE RAGING FLAMING POISONING SWORD OF DOOM

Suffering game

Hey lucy, oh youre not fifty? Oh thats lowkey kind of fucked "Luckily as an elf i dont think i have to worry about that... sorry-"

Maggy where the fuck are you going

I feel like Lup would either follow magnus or magnus would defo ask Lup to help break out robi, so she does.

MAGNUS YOU FUCKING KILLED THEM-

Oh fuck get me out of here fighting these monsters

Lord artemis sterling and his bodyguards... cool.. ok

nvm lydia is hot

Ok this sucks

Lup gets the same sacrifices as Taako, so she takes the bad luck, shes fine with losing some life, hands? No Im not giving you my hand, fuck. MY APPEARENCE...? Yeah i dont care.

Chooses trust instead of forsake.

"Why should this person chose you?" "Uhh... Cause I'm hot as fuck." *applauds*

SAVES MAGNUS OFC - Oh is that the grim reaper? So Lup actually does try to save Kravitz cause lowkey she wants to be on good terms with him

Is that the red robe-

WE'RE TRUSTING HIM NOW????

her ghost looks ... weird.

Its nearly impossible to kill Edward, except when he's a lich. So. That's actually when Lup gets an idea. And she dies. Like full on explodes herself.

LICH LUP WOOOOOO

As soon as Lup is free from her body, her very very death and actually burning corpse. Everything hits her very slowly and soon all at once. So instead of killing edward immediately Lup instantly panics and starts to lose her cool... until "Lup?" She hears Barry's voice. It's not her anchor but it's enough to remind her of the situation at hand.

Lup destroys edward, so lydia destroys magnus's body

As Magnus sees Lup's liches form he isn't surprised, because he remembers when Lup sat down and told them all(?) about her and ... somebody's decision to become a lich... WAIT WHAT

Lup demands more answers from Barry and Magnus does the same, Barry is more sweet about it to Lup than Magnus

Merle is looking at Lup and Barry with upmost confusion and WHAT IS GOING ON????

To Barry's cave! Hey why is there two pods here

"So... I'm really glad actually, Lup, that you're here. And you're back... and as much as i wanna stop the end of the world to kiss you... We gotta move. We both saved what we could from our corporeal forms - mine is a bit more fresh but yours is back from the [starblaster]... so ... I actually don't know what you'll remember but youre gonna need it if we wanna get back on that moon base and confront Lucretia."

Merle can't hear anything and he is so confused, Magnus can understand this all and contiens demanding answers- before they both enter the tank, Magnus gets Lup's outfit while Merle pulls out deniem blue jeans AND WAIT BARRY AS IN BARRY BLUE JEANS?? beFORE THEY DO THIS

Lup looks to Barry and asks where Taako is. The name sounds familiar to Magnus, but his head is splitting in two before he can remember such a person. Barry can't bring himself to reply so he simply tells Lup he isn't sure but he doesn't have high hopes.

As they both go into their own tanks, Barry doesnt know anybody or anything. Lup steps out and she throws on her outfit and demands answers from magnus and merle of what happened after she died. "Am I a lich? Am I posessed? IS THAT BARRY?" And why is barry still so goddamn attractive?

Barry looks at Lup like shes the love of his life and actually starts being timid and nervous around her

Magnus tries explaining but once its all static the idea of another void fish comes to mind... PLANNING

BACK TO THE MOON BASE

heres the relic, magnus is dead, fuck you.

Oh hi angus, the truth? uhhhh i guess we can tell you oh is that zone of truth. dammit barry-

SECOND VOID FISH?

Oh my god........ my brother is dead. Taako is dead.

Hi Lucy, "I'm gonna fucking kill you now." But Barry holds Lup back as her fire wall is pathetic against her shield.

"I'm so sorry Lup but.. the pain was too unbearable. Taako.. Taako is gone. And he's not coming back."

Story and Song

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT-

As all hope seems lost after Lup remembers the other half of her heart, Barry and Lup are refusing to die because they cant be liches forever. They dont have anything to go back to-

She remembers Paloma's prophecy, and Istus's gift. It's a simple ritual - a simple spell and only thinking of her brother she casts it. And Lup almost loses it again when nothing happens.

It takes too much but Lucretia is the one who channels a spell to crush these beats in their own shield before she vanishes. ANd now we gotta do other shit yay

Lup and Barry and sent to find the ship but she can't bring herself to do so... "I... I know we're supposed to save the world and everything Barry but... but what's the point... without Taako here with us?"

Barry does what he can to comfort his fiance before he notices the sphere of black glass. "Listen.. do you remember in lucas's lab when we was going over everything?" "Ye.. yeah?" Barry takes a breath to elaborate but Lup cuts him off. "Barry you know transumtation isn't my school of magic." "I know but..." He points to the glave she's holding. "It's his."

And with that they feather fall down and give it a try.

While Barry begins to fight for his life - with the help of Lucas who joins them, Lup continuously tries and fails to open this portal. She slams her head against her own creation and curses Taako for not being here. How is she supposed to go on when Taako is gone? And she didn't even get to grieve? Or say goodbye? And why did Istus lie to her?

And then a rift in space opens. And there he is. Taako appears in his red robe without his hat or his weapon. Lup feels a hand on her shoulder suddenly as she hears her brother's voice say "Don't worry Lulu, I have magical powers." And when he touches his weapon to the sphere it's like an explosion goes off.

"Taako! Where'd you open that portal to?!" "The Astral Plane."

When Lup sees Kravitz (and he looks fucking awful.) behind him she suddenly flips out; "ARE YOU DATING THE GRIM REAPER?" "SHUT UP"

But it doesn't last long before Lup embraces Taako tightly.

TAAKO ONLY CAME BACK BECAUSE MEREL RECONNECTED WITH THE GODS BTW SO ISTUS COULDNT HOLD UP HER END OF THE DEAL UNTIL SHE WAS BACK-

OK SHIP TIME WE GET TOGETHER EVERYONE IS PISSED AT LUCRETIA BUT as theyre discussing the science behind it she suddenly offers, looking at the tres horny boys briefly that there is a third option. Thanks Paloma.

Taako stays on the plane to fight while Lup, sure she wont lose him again, kicks the hungers ass.

Epilogue, everything is pretty much the same because lup doesnt wanna run a school for magic and now that taako was apparently routing for lup in the astral plane the whole time shes off the hook

THE END YAYAYAYA

EDIT I KNOW I HAVE MORE WOOHOO:

Why does Taako die? Why does he care?

Well, Taako knew he couldn't just rely on a dance to cheer up Lup - so Taako decided he was going to do something good and destroy his sister's relic. Obviously he can resist the temptation but Cyrus Rockseeker does not. Taako blasts him with his glave(or clave or whatever) into the safe but ultimately dies.

We then we Taako wake up in the astral plane, behind the bars of the eternal stockade where a skeleton stands before him checking off a list. He says something in a cockney accent along the lines of "Finally, I've been lookin' for you."

"Crazy accent you go there Ghostrider, where am I?" "You're in the Astral Plane, Taako. Finally. You wouldn't happen to know where your others friends are? They're supposed to be locked up in here with you."

"... What-"

AND OVER THE TIME TAAKO SUCCESSFULLY FLIRTS AND SEDUCES KRAVITZ ESP POST CRYSTAL KINGDOM ARC AND THATS WHY THEYRE DATING NOW OK COOL-

[lower-mkdr]

I was watching some playthroughs of Phantom of the mist (bc I miss the event) and now I can't stop thinking about how long Adela has been neglecting herself to the point that she truly desires just one thing, she summarizes everything into one quite ambiguous wish, which is having a peaceful life.

It's something we see during her interrogation and we already know how Mad Shears was created by rumors that spreaded constantly after cutting people's worries and then moving out, it's something even the files acknowledge, but what was stuck on my mind for a while was, how subtle she actually is to bring the topic of small wishes or thoughts about things she actually wants through her lines, just to finish the sentence with "Well, it was just a joke", or she simply smiles and tries to make it look like it's not a big deal. And she does it so many times. Like, I swear to god, I want to give her more than a million hugs and kisses and it would never be enough to express how much it hurts me to see her doing everything always for the rest while keeping herself close but actually feeling very far away.

quality sucks because it's a screenshot but hey, we later understand better that she doesn't only find us/Chief as someone interesting, but such company it's one that she didn't know she would end getting attached to.

Sloane Street works in a pretty interesting way as something similar to us, it's a place she's fond of, the relationships she slowly builded, even if it was not so long ago, it's something that she actually really cares about, which makes her depart something more and more tragic the more you know or try to understand her.

Adela herself acknowledges that she doubts her own decisions many times too, but she's so used to run away cutting any kind of worry that she doesn't truly judges it, why so? if that would bring more and more hair that would end suffocating her again? Running away has been the best option for too long since the day she lost her first home, and it's also been a while since she found something close to what she hoped to have after that.

In fact, after Chief recovers their memories, it seems like she stops hiding and instead she just goes ahead with everything that's on her mind. She really took her time while expecting Chief to find the truth and judge her, it's something even Chief tries to ask themselves later, about why she didn't really attack after "winning" the fight during the first night, that leads Chief to think it's because Adela really doesn't wants to hurt anyone, and it's true.

We even see it later, but her worries doesn't trigger until she realizes the damage that has been done to the people she grew fond of, under all it's her wish of staying there despite everything, because her time on Sloane Street really was the closest thing to the life she always hoped for. Something that is not so hidden in Adela it's that despite her multiple attempts of trying to forget anything, she always wanted something, or someone, that would actually make her stay, it's not something she says, but it's implied in her actions, that's Adela's hope, very deep down it's a part of her wish for a peaceful life. And it makes sense with her final words during her interrogation, she didn't really thought about it until then.

100% compliance voice line goes along too

I didn't include it but I also thought about the scene where she acknowledged that she likes Chief, the narrative goes like "But she didn't seemed to mean something meaningful", I don't think that's true, her actions speak more than her words, and Adela it's pretty good at managing things like that, but I also like to see it as a way of her to be more precise with how she feels, she's finally opening up in her own way, and the last performance in serving team helps too.

In conclusion, I love the fact that she slowly learns more and more about talking and expressing the things she wants aside of her work and self proclaimed duty of taking care of others

[aceofwhump]

Hi Ace! Did you like the new season? I didn't like the new season of TUA but it had whump!

Ooooh boy. Okay. Well I have THOUGHTS. And I'm going to put them under a read more because of massive spoilers.

Overall I'm really annoyed by the final season. Really annoyed. But let's talk about the things I enjoyed first

1. Klaus whump!!!

Okay how could I not put this one first. I love Klaus. I love whump. Klaus was really out through the wringer and I loved it. He got shot, was bleeding out and dying, picked up by Diego and carried to the van, worried about and saved by his family, several emotional outbursts which I loved, relapses, gets kidnapped, held captive, buried alive, gets rescued, finally gets a good damn hug! I loved it. I ate that shit up.

2. Klaus, Allison, and Claire

This sibling dynamic was always my favorite from the moment Allison caught Klaus stealing shit from their dad's office in episode 1. I wanted more of these two for ages and I got them living together and taking care of each other and Klaus being the weird protective uncle to Claire. I want 10 more seasons of them being domestic. And Uncle Klaus and Claire was so cute!!! Highlight of the season! I was so happy when the two of them not only noticed Klaus was gone and in trouble but that Claire tried to help him AND the two of them tracked him down to save him and bring him home!

3. The family actually showing that the care about Klaus.

Is it obvious that Klaus is my favorite yet? It wasn't a lot but when they freaked out when he got shot and the happy reaction and head patting when he came back to life was beautiful and I needed it. I also LOVED the hug between Klaus, Claire and Allison when they dug him out of the grave. I needed that so badly. There should be more Klaus hugs

4. Dad!Diego

Diego was so lovely as a father!!! His three kids were always on his mind and I love that. I love how he used his powers at the axe throwing just to get 3 stuffed reindeers for his kids. Freaking adorable.

5. Luther

The king of background reactions. He had me rolling on the floor in laughter this season. I loved his energy. Pure sunshine. And him at the antique was so funny cause that's how I am at antique shops and now I want to go antique shopping with him lol. He was adorable and I feel so bad that he got him monkey body back cause he was so happy to have his body back.

6. Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally as the bad guys.

Jene and Gene were so fun. Loved that.

Now let's talk about the rest.

1. Luther

But wait Ace you put Luther in the likes category! Yes. Yes I did. And I stand by that. But WHERE WAS SLOANE! Why was he so fine with Sloane just being gone! Why was Sloane gone at all!!!

2. Five and Lila

Seriously I fucking hated this story line and I hated that the writers thought Five needed a love story. WHY. He really really didn't need one at all. He loved Delores why did they feel the need to give him another love story? Could they not think of any other plot for him? I sure could have! This was boring and trite. And even if they did go with the love story plot still WHY PUT HIM WITH LILA!!!!! After two seasons firmly establishing the love that Lila and Diego have for one another and how perfect they are together. You're gonna do THAT? I hated it. I mean "you hate bracelets." NO SHE DOESN'T! SHE KEPT THE ONE YOU MADE IN THE ASYLUM FOR TWO SEASONS! IT WAS KINDA A BIG DEAL! Why would they then give this plot point to Five!

3. Klaus getting more powers like finally being able to levitate and the show acting like it is literally nothing

I have nothing to elaborate on this. I just hated that we finally got levitating Klaus and not only was it not utilized at all but they treated it like a throwaway thing.

4. No Ray. No Sparrows

Seriously!? Ray left? Bullshit. Sloane and the other Sparrows never come back? Dumb.

5. NO DANCE NUMBER

Every season had a silly dance number and we got NONE. It's a little thing but I was disappointed.

And I still have SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!! AND WE GOT NO ANSWERS!!!

Why did Luther get his monkey body back if it was never a part of marigold in the first place? That was done via a Reginald serum.

Why did Diego have no coordination without his powers when he should have at least retained some muscle memories from the many years of training?

Why did Klaus say his years of sobriety was down the toilet as soon as marigold was put in him again? He could have stayed sober. He had control of his powers from s3 so it's not like he was gonna be haunted like before which is why he took drugs in the first place.

What about the other kids who had marigold? Are they in this timeline? Did they also die? Why didn't Reginald ever look for all of the kids? What happened with them?

Why is the marigold they take this season janky? Like why do they get sick? Did Reginald’s wife spike it or something? Or was it simply that they consumed it as fully grown adults instead of being born with it?

WHY WAS JENNIFER IN A FUCKING SQUID AS A CHILD?!

Who was the Ben we saw in the subway at the end of season 3? Cause it wasn't our Ben or Sparrow Ben!

Does Klaus know how Ben died? DOES HE!?!

How did the kids survive without Alison, Diego, or Lila having existed!? I don’t think that’s how genetics work!

What the fuck was the Cleanse!?!?! No seriously! What the fuck was that?! Why is durango in Jennifer? Are there more super kids with durango in them? Why does durango in Jennifer only interact with marigold in Ben? Why no the others? Why does the combination of Ben and Jennifer make the Cleanse??? If they had continued to interact before Reg killed Ben would the Cleanse have happened then? Did Abigail create the Cleanse? Did durango kill their world? How? What does it actually DO! I'm so confused!

If all the marigold has to be destroyed waht about all the other marigold made babies? What about all those alternate Fives in the subway? Why just these 7 people?

Where the fuck did Reginald and Abigail come from?! Why did we learn absolutely fucking NOTHING about them other than the tiny tidbits we've seen already?

Why the hell would Five just peace out in the middle of a fucking battle for his families lives? THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT FIVE WOULD DO! Everything Five has ever done was to save his family!

Why was them being born via marigold shatter the timeline? What the fuck do those two things have to do with the other???? That makes no SENSE! It would have made more sense to say that Five disappearing into the future shattered the timeline and send them back to before then or something.

Viktor can get rid of the marigold in people so WHY DIDN'T THEY TRY THAT! WHY DID THE BENJEN CLEANSE CREATURE NEED TO TAKE THEM ALL AND ERASE THEIR EXISTENCE! Couldn't Viktor have extracted the marigold and they get rid of it that way?

(some of that may have had answers in the show and i'm just dumb and missed it but still. i have many questions)

This season was so disjointed and dissatisfying. I was actually bored by episode 4. The plots were all over the place and none connected very well. I'm still so confused about what the fuck was happening all season. None of it makes any sense.

I was hoping this season would be more of a Umbrella Academy vs big bad Reginald and Abigail villain type of plot. I was hoping OG Ben would like start merging with Sparrow Ben or something. I thought the ending would be them returning to their original timeline finally all together and be able to just live the rest of their lives apocalypse free. Happy and together. BUT NO!

Ugh. I'm sure there's more to say but I'm out of steam now. Mostly i'm just disappointed.

[ragsy]

OC Masterlist (in alphabetical order)

Monster of the Week:

🐕 Dogmark (Mark "Dogmark" Stevens) (he/him)

A normal human guy in his late twenties/early thirties who got cursed to be a cannibalistic dogman. Extremely socially anxious, very fight-or-flight driven, struggling to come to terms with his monstrosity. Currently an NPC in an active game.

Tag: #oc dogmark | Visual reference

📚 Emily Song (she/her)

A real type-A woman in her thirties. She has a degree and a job and a fiancé and a dad (Kenneth) who went missing five years ago and suddenly reappeared out of nowhere, ranting and raving about having been in some bizarre surreal other world. She doesn't believe in the supernatural. She thinks he needs help. Currently an NPC in an active game.

Tag: #oc emily

🚬 Everett (any pronoun, but defaults to he/him)

Some manner of immortal smoke demon in a human vessel, using his powers of influence over people to grow his Youtube channel and Twitch audience. He doesn't want your soul, he just wants your impressionable teen's expendable income. Not currently in any active games.

Tag: #oc everett

🐟 Fishwoman (Diane Fishwoman) (she/her, it/its)

An emotionally constipated humanoid fish person (age unknown) who spends her free time daydrinking and stealing things. She's friends with benefits with Sloane, though she'd never admit to how much the "friends" component of that means to her. Not currently in any active games.

Tag: #oc fishwoman | Visual reference

🚪 Kenneth Song (Uncle Kenny) (he/him)

A goofy, soft-hearted widower and retired dentist (age 65) who recently escaped a five year internment in a liminal horror dimension called the Other Place. Trying his best to reconnect with his adult daughter. Currently in an active MOTW game (Searcher playbook)

Tags: #oc kenneth, #vistas from the other place | Visual reference | Playlist (YouTube version)

🍂 Mary Song (she/her)

A level-headed and analytical Voice of Reason, as well as a middlingly talented spellcrafter. She died suddenly at age 32, survived by her husband (Kenny) and daughter (Emily), and has been haunting their respective narratives ever since.

Tag: #oc mary

🔫 Sloane (Agent Hill) (she/her)

A broad-shouldered tough-as-nails action butch. Makes her living doing field missions, getting monsters and other supernatural beings out of sight. She has a curse on her left arm that's slowly spreading to the rest of her body, but she hasn't told anyone besides her immediate superiors about it. Despite her hard exterior, she's got a warm heart that genuinely cares about the people she protects. NPC in a defunct campaign, currently planned to be a PC in an upcoming campaign, Professinal playbook.

Tag: #oc sloane | Visual reference

Dungeons and Dragons

✨ Arjibi (Arji the Fool) (he/him, they/them)

Farmboy turned stage magician turned adventurer! He's a sweet silly boy with big expressive eyes and too much joy for his twinky body. Also, statistically speaking, he's your friend now. Dragonborn sorcerer (draconic heritage). Currently in two separate active campaigns.

Tag: #oc arjibi | Visual reference | Defunct inspo blog: @arjibi-time

👊 Carex (she/her)

Aarakocra monk, way of mercy. Looks like a secretary bird because she's really good at kicking the shit out of people. Currently in an active campaign, but she's not really as much a character to roleplay as she is a tool to use in combat.

Tag: #oc carex

🤖 M.A.G. (Mechanical Autonomous Guardsman, aka Maggie or Mags) (it/its)

Once a mindless patrol construct, now mysteriously gifted with self awareness and holy powers. It's driven by duty to protect others first, and curiosity second. It's learning how to be a person! A little bit like a cross between Big Bird and Levi Scavengersreign. Warforged Paladin, oath of the crown. Currently in an active campaign.

Tag: #oc maggie | Visual reference

🧪 Professor Dewlap (Finneas Carlton Dewlap) (he/him)

Mad scientist. Cantankerous old bitch. Blew himself to smithereens in a freak lab accident, currently climbing his way back out of the afterlife to resume whatever the hell he was working on. Dragonborn artificer. Not currently in an active campaign, but he's planned for a future one.

Tag: #oc professor dewlap

⚔ Sir Dillion (Sir Dillion Fontaine Sargasso) (he/him)

Chivalrous medieval knight in shining armor with a fish for a head. Broad of chest, kind of heart, dumb of ass. Triton fighter (cavalier subclass), campaign completed!

Tag: #oc sir dillion | Visual references

Miscellaneous

🦎 Lizardsona (any pronoun)

This is literally just my fursona. Some sort of lizardy muppetty creature.

Tag: #lizardsona | Visual references

🐲 Marginalia (Marge) (any pronoun)

A medieval scribe's drawing of a dragon, come to life. Also sort of a quasi-fursona, though I don't use them very often.

Tag: #oc marginalia | Visual references