#-like i did with portal 1 and 2
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matching artfight pfps for Stirling and Conly except Conly was reposted from yesterday
#i deleted the last post bc i just prefer having art intended to match eachother in the same post rather than added on a reblog#i like them :)) id like them more if my computer didn't want to explode every time i open revolution#the moment i save up for a new computer it's over for all of u bc then i get to replay all the mods over and over-#-like i did with portal 1 and 2#portal revolution#stirling portal revolution#emilia conly
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Right at the end of the year Twenty Twenty-Four, the humble man completes his Animal Crossing New Horizons museums by obtaining every insect, fish, and sea creature. This accomplishment is proof of his ecological fitness and will be celebrated for several minutes.
#Who is this mysterious man who fishes and dives and catches for weeks#It must be some kind of time travelling husband who knows only how to capture#In any case there will be a parade and a party and there will be a cake#But there will be a cake in the Portal 1 way#Is anyone else old enough to remember playing Portal 1#Which we just called Portal back then#And getting to the end but already knowing the twist because of how memetic the phrase The Cake is a Lie was#Calling it a twist is a bit of a stretch though cause like you're so clearly expendable the whole time#And GLaDOS is clearly a malfunctioning evil robot which is great#They really did such a good job with her glitchy voice effects in P1#I was so disappointed in Portal 2 from the standpoint of a freak who loves malfunctioning evil women scientists#Her voice was so consistent and normal and they gave her a human background and then humanized her on top of it#Like it's sooo obvious to me that the character worked so well in P1 because they didn't have a story in mind#GLaDOS was a happy accident. She was too intentional in P2#Anyways I have all the fish in fucking animal crossing
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Anyway, back to testing (Patreon)
#Doodles#Portal#GLaDOS#Chell#Curiosity Core#Space Core#Cave Johnson#So many GLaDOS'!! She needs all the <3#And then also featuring some others lol ♪ Replaying 1 really made me want to fill out the cast a bit more!#I'm still the most used to drawing her Portal 2 design tho - which is a shame because her 1 design is so weird!! I like it :D#I still haven't given her a proper study but I do like how in the audio commentary they talk about how she has a feminine edge hehe#She does! They did a good job with her design ♪ And improved upon it in 2 I think :D I still haven't gotten to that audio commentary#I'm so curious as to what they'll say about her there hehe ♫ But I'm still just playing normally for now! I forgot how much longer it is :0#I tore through it the first time so now taking my leisurely time feels funny haha ♪ I am enjoying myself tho :3#Anyway!! Back to what I love about 1 <3 <3 Her tone switch literally Always has my heart ♥ Ughhh I love herrr#I also quite like Chell's design from both games :) I wonder if GLaDOS keeps making remarks on her appearance because of the changes :0#She does have fuller cheeks in 2! She's not as gaunt - and she looks like....made-up? Make up made up? Y'know? :0#Not that we get a particularly good look at her in-game but hm! The differences#As well as in her long-fall boots! The braces really were just stuck on her legs in 1 weren't they :0 No wonder the Curiosity Core was rude#I do really love the Curiosity Core tho haha ♪ Probably my favourite canon Core :D I think she'd get along well with Space Core lol#And then leaving off with that one little human-GLaDOS headcanon thing I posted about! Impatiently lol#I made these like The Day after posting that I couldn't help it I was too deep in the paint XP It was fun ♪#I really do think she'd look so much more like Cave still! Especially after replaying the bit where he says to put Caroline in ''his'' place#Is that retrofitting? Was it designed with him in mind initially? Hmmmmm#I also figure if I'm going to give her a human design I might as well go the whole way and not just slap robot parts on her face lol#It's hard to imagine her with two eyes tho! Like I might even go so far as to say she can have three eyes but not two! Only one or three#Her third ''eye'' would be the mole next to her eye lol - how would her vision work in that case :0#Would she have panoptic depth perception or like triple vision or what?? Or maybe just leave her with one functioning eye lol#Handplates!Gaster-core (Core lol); turtlenecked one-eyed evil scientist with labcoat lol#Y'know it's funny - when I first drew GLaDOS several years ago I compared her to Gaster at the time too. Huh. Sure that's nothing :)
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FINISHED PORTAL REVOLUTION A BIT AGO IM
#SHAKING THIS GAME AROUND#like THE ENDING ALONE-#literally day one and i already have 8 hours in it#portal stories mel has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to me so it's hard to get even close to it but porev did it#i only have 1 achievement left (fingerprinter) i'm gonna do it tomorrow im too sleepy to figure out what the description means#i was nervous stirlings voice would get annoying but he's PERFECT 0 complaints#i wouldn't say the puzzles are EASY (got stuck on quite a few of them) but they're simple. they're hard and simple and i rly rly liked them#sassy speaks#portal#porev#for the record it took me ~6 hrs total to complete and then i spend the other 2 getting achievements and generally just dicking around#and i'm like. average portal stories mel stan so i probably did it faster than someone who's only played official portal games#bc like. as much as i love psm those puzzles are BRUTAL advanced mode makes me want to die (affectionate)
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Favorite Portal moments?
Obviously the moment in chapter 8 where glados hatches a new plan to defeat Wheatley so they go up in front of one of his screens and chell starts sloppily kissing potatOS in front of him and his little orb head explodes from the sheer power of lesbian love and everyone dies because the nuclear reactor breaks--
....that didn't happen, but in all seriousness:
Momentum-based puzzles (wheeeeeeeeeee)
The escape sequence in portal 1 where glados is begging you to come back to the testing annex and she's like "didn't we have some fun, though (:> someday we'll look back on this and laugh. And laugh. And laugh. O-o-oooh boy..."
The escape sequence in general. There are just so many fun puzzles and i love the dialogue
Glados epic wiggle moments* (portal 1 edition)
The cake in some storage room in the facility I'm pretty sure you never get to eat, but was real anyways
GLaDOS's reawakening [Wheatley crunching noises]
Basically all of chapters 2-5 of portal 2 tbh, i loved spending time solving GLaDOS's chambers and the escape sequence is super fun to go through
GLaDOS epic wiggle moments* (portal 2 edition)
Reuniting with potatOS as she gets pecked by birds
"YEAH TAKE THE LEMONS!!!" "burning people!! He says what we're all THINKING!!!"
Glados and her moments of vulnerability telling chell about remembering her conscience and how much it terrifies her. Also her hyped up to defeat Wheatley, you're in this with her together (:
The entire ending sequence. I cried real actual tears. I'm so sad it's all over....
Glados bird mom moments from the co-op campaign (which i haven't played but have seen bits of anyways)
(* = i love the wiggles but both times she's scared for her life so i feel really bad for her)
#portal#portal 2 spoilers /?#not art#did you mean to send this to my main blog?? not that im complaining i love getting asks#here are my least favorite portal moments now thay we're here:#portal 1 test chamber 18 (just the worst i spend hours on it every time even if i can get through the rest relatively quickly)#portal 2 chapter 8: the itch. wheatley please god shut up stop making those noises. i will kick your ass so hard and you don't even have 1#ch8-9 is hard for me......#wheatley may have been designed to have only bad ideas but he genuinely makes the most frustrating puzzles in the whole game#so props to him for that at least#the way i talk makes it sound like i hate Wheatley but i really dont. he's just.....very kickable sorry
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as much as i love glados in portal 2. NOTHING can top the absolutely insane realization that she isn't actually the cold, emotionless robot you thought she was during the fight in the first game
#i mean of course portal 2 couldnt have just done that Again. in no way do i mean this as a criticism of portal 2.#i feel like in general a lot of people dont appreciate the fact that sequels Cant just do the same things the original did#like a sequel has to arguably be about the same thing but can't retread the same stuff as the original! thats real hard work#in a similar vein its unfortunate to see that not everyone liked 20020 just cuz it wasnt 17776 again. how the hell can you do that again#i think that just Cant work with stories that are About any sort of exploration or any central mystery#unless its a different central mystery!#but you know. im rambling.#portal 1 is fucking incredible. just considering that game on its own really amazes me
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Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.
Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!
the answer ended up being really long lol
Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...
Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)
other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.
there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.
nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.
the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.
honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.
now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.
honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.
i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.
other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.
yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.
#asks#zeldanamikaze#salty talks#i think for media to really fuck me up there has to be some kind of intense emotional aspect to it or have some specific visual stuff#my enjoying of berserk is proof that it takes specific stuff to really get to me. the way i tested if id be fine reading berserk is so#fucked in hindsight. i straight up looked up the two most infamous eclipse chapters online and read them to make sure id be fine#what the fuck. i just dove in head first fucking god#anyways yeah. like berserk is generally fine for me but cowboy bebop episode 20 did have me a lil fucked up. its so good#ive been looking more into horror stuff recently and i have a lot of respect for (well-executed) horror games like damn. i wanna play#silent hill 2 so bad. it's a really interesting genre when pulled off effectively on a level deeper than just 'oh look at this scary thing'#anyways. i recently watched mononoke and its not really horror just kinda unsettling. its so fucking good#tbh tho there are some fanfics ive read that did actually fuck me up (which is why i kinda have an aversion to angst)#but i didnt want to talk abt those bc i dont want to name names or anything. theyre good fics they just affected me pretty negatively#generally its more like. freaky irl things that fuck me up but thats not fun to talk about its just like. depressing#sorry it took so long to reply to this i hadnt really sat down to write it or anything an just. couldnt think of much lol#anyways ig bottom line is that its more likely for non-horror stuff to fuck me up? or its gotta be specific stuff idk#i played a few hours of portal 1 at a friends house years ago and for some reason it creeped me out a whole lot#strangely enough i dont think scooby doo mystery incorporated fucked me up when i first watched it#i think there was like 1 episode that scared me more than the rest but it was never too bad#and that show is regarded as likely the most actually scary scooby thing. its rlly good#im pretty sure scooby doo was my first (or one of my first) special interest#also (similarly) i dont really get nightmares too often my dreams are just kinda really weird most of the time#i did actually have like. a scary dream recently but i dont know if id fully call it a nightmare
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I’m so excited to write out the Summerween chapter in Triangulum because I have this idea of Bill feeling like his stomach is to claw itself out of his body, and that doesn’t go away even after he’s probably died a few times within the chapter (because while a lot of his injuries usually reset after a death, there are some Exceptions). So he’s getting more and more annoyed with it as the night goes on.
And then later on with the scenes with Mabel, he’s so drained both physically and mentally from previous events that he just gets SO fucking mad and vocal about it, and Mabel just looks at him like: “Wait, are you...hungry? When was the last time you ate?”
And he just goes “At what point did you expect either of your uncles to feed me?” But internally, he’s like ‘FUCK, WAIT, THAT’S RIGHT. HUMANS NEED TO EAT.’
#Hayley Writes Triangulum#He didn't even consider it! Why would he?#Not like he did much eating when he was possessing people#Outside of probably stuffing whatever was in arm's length and edible into Ford's mouth and pouring soda in Dipper's for funsies#Also I imagine in his triangle form he doesn't NEED to eat so much as it's just something he does whenever he's either:#1) Bored or#2) Trying to scare the shit out of Fiddleford#I have not forgotten about what he saw in the portal
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Some of my extremely haterly opinions in the tags.
now its time to bring the haterism
if you think multiple are bad vote for the one you hate the most <3
#skyrim is the easy option here#as a long time morrowind enjoyer I was a skyrim hater before it came out (had been burned by oblivion)#(although I have gained a bit of a fondness for oblivion over the years)#but I did not vote for skyrim because I feel like that's not even a hater opinion to have on this website!#I voted new vegas because it is just not very good. It is the best 3d fallout and I like some of the factions#but everything about how it fixed speech and quests are good is absolutely wrong and also the gunplay is clunky and bad#honourable mention: portal 2#portal 1 was perfect and an amazing complete experience. in contention for the one media artefact that least needed or suited a sequel#would you make a citizen kane 2 where kane is back and we learn the backstory of the sled? have some restraint!#text#important questions
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i love to 100% games if its not a super pain in the ass or practically impossible (like if a game is massive or has like 100s of possible achievements) but holy SHIT it can be such a massive pain in the ass
#sometimes i literally cannot 100% a game lol#like during supraland six inches under the game was so broken that the last thing i needed to do was press a button that literallu#just wouldnt show up at all#like the game was generally very broken and the devs knew that and were trying to fix it#i wonder if they ever did? ill find out someday#it was a fun game so ill revisit it eventually#and then during tinykin the last achievement i needed. was to get EVERY egg. every single one. fuck that#CAUSE I LOOKED. IN EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY.#anyway i consider both 100%d lol#now im doing portal and portal 2#the only things i didnt do in portal 1. was the challenge maps#i did the 'least amount of portals'for each but not the other two except for the first map. cause fuck that#rn portal 2 is being so annoying ughhh. at least itll be easier than 1 is. if i can get someone to co op with me#my post#my brother might! that would be fun lol
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Silly image!!! did u know images are my favorite hobby I love drawing people I want to explode
#i love experimental artstyles u come up with at 1 am this brush is a pain in the ass#lil redraw of an old drawing i did awhile ago :>!! i think my posing and such is much better now!!#i like wheatley in this style he's like a cat to me at all times#eyestrain#<- ? not sure if this counts but i can imagine the little dots are hard to look at <33#Wheatley#space core#fact core#adventure core#portal 2
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maybe I will find a way to make Rahn into a d&d character just for rp even tho I can't make her in the game. Because I love her
#ooc. (mobile)#option 1 is like. death god aasimar cleric of life god who just hates the actual gods. and i just adapt that to hit the d&d stuff somehow#option 2 is some portal crossover nonsense she just ended up across universes somehow. that works better for d&d canon than her canon thoug#since d&d has so many multiverses#PoE has less of that#but also she did die and come back to life so god only knows
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Not only that, but after her adventure with her adoptive daughter, you’d think GLaDOS will have a change of heart after all that unfolded… nope. As soon as she took over again, had Atlas and P-Body replace Chell, sent those two down to older/OG Aperture, and discovered a massive storage filled with preserved humans, those preserved humans to which she turned into human test subjects faced the same tests Chell did (one of them being the person from that VR demo where you repair Atlas). How long did they last? Not more than two weeks at best.
Not even GLaDOS knows what’s going on in the surface outside of Aperture’s reach, but assuming Portal 2 takes place around the time of Half-Life 2’s events, then there’s a possibility of conciliation between Chell and Gordon (however far-fetched it may be). Especially given how the timeline switched and now Eli and Gordon have to find Alyx, having Chell on the surface to explore is much better than being trapped in the facility. The story is still not over.
Valve, for the love of God - count to 3 already.
No but like, OF COURSE GlaDOS would have feelings for Chell.
GlaDOS, in her previous life as Caroline, was always doing as she was told. She was obedient, dedicated to Cave, willing to work on whatever experiments Cave had for her. Yes she was an assistant, but Cave definitely is the type to have little regard for what that meant, and Caroline was happy to oblige...until he was dying. Thats when he decided he was going to have her consciousness jammed into a machine, forced to experiment and test for eternity. Trapped in a form she could hardly recognize, separated from all humanity. The designers behind GlaDOS said they wanted her to look like a woman caught in bondage, and its fitting...she has no escape from her tiny room except virtually.
And then Chell is her test subject.
Chell, who, like her, is trapped. Chell, who is forced into these tests, same as her. Chell, who has the guts and the gall to break free of the bondage fate bestowed on her! And Chell even temporarily brings GlaDOS the sweet release of death, something that, in that moment, must have felt like freedom finally came for her...until she realized. There is no death for her. GlaDOS is forced to replay the moment ad infinitum in her "sleep", and Chell returns...and brings her back to life. Incomprehensible! An INSULT! And so the testing begins anew, with added viciousness, until Chell gets Wheatley to put GlaDOS into a potato. And as much as thats played as a joke, think about it: this is the first time in uncountable years that GlaDOS has truly been released from that one small room. She then slowly remembers her past, as Caroline, and realizes what she's become. That she trapped Chell the same way Cave trapped her. That Chell represents the wild, beautiful idea of freedom. That Chell has shown her, while she is still trapped in a digital prison, she is not doomed to live in that one room.
And at the end of Portal 2, once GlaDOS is able to get control of the facility again, she decides to delete Caroline. This was a mercy killing to a side of her that was tortured. But she didnt forget, no, which is why she sends Chell to her freedom. Out of love for what she's given her, but also understanding that she'll harm her again...AND all the programming still trapping her.
I like to think that if there were ever a Portal 3, or an epilogue of some kind, it would be about GlaDOS coming to terms with herself. She still feels the need to test, and cant simply abandon the facility which is her home, but maybe her ability to make mobile robots gives her a desire to make a new form. And maybe that form looks a little like the girl she just set free, as a hope for herself. And maybe by the end of it, she decides that instead of inflicting these tests on humans or robots, she can just do them herself. And maybe as she does her own tests, she learns to have an actual relationship with herself for once.
#imagine having all your stories end with a cliffhanger#half-life episode two ends with eli dying#then this is changed with half-life alyx#left 4 dead 2 ends with the chopper in the parish#but were they finally able to reach their destination or did the chopper crash again like usual?#portal 2 sent chell and the companion cube to the surface#that could be a good ending on its own until GLaDOS mentioned black mesa in portal 1#so now there’s indeed a possibility of Chell and Gordon meeting up#but that won’t happen because valve doesn’t know the number 3 exists#VALVE PLS FIX#op’s tags:#chelldos#glados#chell#portal#look i have a lot of feelings right now
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Phone scam gothic
So my mom sits down and starts telling me about two weird-ass phone calls she had today—she was returning a missed call, and the woman who answered just… sobbed for a minute. I’m sitting here asking, like, a whole minute? Nothing else, just sobbing? Who did you THINK you were calling back?
“United Healthcare, they have my Medicare plan. They’ve been calling me for weeks without leaving any voicemail.”
(Are you sure it was United Healthcare? “It was the same number that’s on my card, I checked, and that’s who the caller ID said it was.”)
Are you sure it was a whole minute? Did YOU say anything?
“Yes, like sixty seconds while I kept going ‘Hello? Hello?’ It sounded like she was having a nervous breakdown, I kept waiting to see if she’d tell me what was even wrong. Finally I just hung up.”
And then my mom turned right around and called back again, because she was gonna get to the bottom of this.
This time she got a different woman, perfectly calm, who wanted to set up “your in-home direct patient care home health visit.”
At this point (at this point?) I’m staring, because no one here currently has anyone coming to the house to help with any kind of medical care. My mom might honestly be the healthiest member of the household, but even I don’t use any home services, herniated discs and all. “Did they have you… confused with someone else?”
“No, she repeated my full name and phone number back to me.”
This lady then started ARGUING with my mother. Why don’t you want us to come to your house to manage your direct patient care? Don’t you need home health care to be managed? Why don’t you need home health care? Why would you not want home health care? “I JUST KIND OF HAVE HIGH CHOLESTEROL?” But don’t you want us to manage your home health care? “WHY DO YOU NEED TO COME TO MY HOUSE TO MANAGE HEALTH CARE I DON’T USE?”
My mom finally hung up on this lady as well, without giving her any real information.
The more we talked about it, the more things we started to notice:
I was incredibly creeped out by the unsolicited use of the word “manage,” for some reason. Very sinister “write me into your will” vibes for some reason—I don’t know what these people want, but they’re gonna get you to sign something over.
My mom got especially stuck on “WHY DO YOU NEED TO COME TO MY HOUSE?!”
My mom has used home health services before… years ago, before she was on Medicare. But this company wouldn’t know about that. However, if you’re on Medicare, you’re over 65. Having not ever dealt with my mother before, someone calling a Medicare user might be playing the odds that a person over 65 is 1) in frail health and 2) old enough to get easily confused.
Fair play to my mom, she’s the one who thought of number spoofing. I’m so busy not answering the phone ever and arranging all my medical communications to happen through passworded portals that I didn’t think of it.
Hey, are you guys, like… holding someone hostage…?
So at this point, I google “United Healthcare scam.”
The “health insurance counselor”
This fraudster will offer help navigating the health insurance marketplace for a fee, capitalizing on people’s confusion about the state-based health exchanges created through the Affordable Care Act.
What to know
This sort of assistance is indeed available and is legitimate, but the people who offer it – also known as “navigators” – aren’t allowed to charge for their services. Also, remember that people with Medicare coverage don’t need to use the state health exchanges. The exchanges are for people under the age of 65, who are looking to enroll in an individual health plan.
Change “navigate” to “manage,” and I think this is it, although the lady on the phone never mentioned any fees. Either my mom didn’t let her get that far, or this is the point of actually getting into someone’s house: persuading them face-to-face to pay something, and potentially refusing to leave until the scammer has worn their target down.
Medicare does not make unsolicited phone calls.
Okay, so it was a scam no matter what it was about. As far as I’m concerned, my mom should contact Actual United Healthcare about it, and I’m here to spread the good word of Never Believing Anyone on the Phone 2k24. I don’t know what to tell you about the lady having the nervous breakdown though.
#psa#phone scams#medicare scams#spoiler: it wasn’t united healthcare#okay but how do I call in a wellness check on a scammer#long post
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Sea Cryptic! Danny- pt. 10
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9]
“This you?”
Danny glanced at the stone tablet in Spoiler’s hands and groaned, Phantom form flickering with embarrassment as his face got even more neon green. It was indeed him.
——
The first Atlantean and Ghost King encounter went something like this:
Imagine Danny, sleep deprived. Easy enough. Now, imagine Danny, trying to corral a ghost that had a penchant for sea life.
“Alabastor, I swear to Ancients, if you don’t get back here, I’m gonna make you into ghost sea-food boil!” Danny yelled as he chased Alabastor through the ghost zone. The crustacean shaped ghost cackled, skittering along the Zone.
"Make me, Phantom! You have not seen the might of the sea!"
"That's it, soup-time, crabby!"
Danny dove after Alabastor, chasing him face first into a temporal portal and right into the sea.
"BEHOLD!" Alabastor rumbled, claws raised and sea churning around him. Danny flew at him, noticing the screaming people below. He quickly raised a dome of clear ice to protect their entire city before returning his attention back to the giant crustacean. The distraction cost him, as Alabastor blasted him with a beam of his power. "THE MIGHT OF THE SEA!"
"SOUP!" Danny bellowed back, Alabastor's power forcing him into a giant crab form, aside from, hilariously, his head. Danny, always quick to adapt, slammed a massive claw straight into one of Alabastor's eyes and popped open the Fenton Thermos with a feral grin. In but moments, Danny manages to soup Alabastor but not before slamming him down onto the unbreakable ice Danny had just made.
Carefully turning by skittering sideways, he unmelted his ice.
"Sorry about that," he said sheepishly to the gawking civilians below.
"Suh-ree? What is suh-ree?" A brave woman asked.
"Oh," Danny uttered as he realized that he should probably switch languages. His giant crab body and small itty bitty human head swayed in an unsure motion. "Sorry means "my apologies." I had not meant to involve you. I am Phantom."
"It is alright... thank you for protecting us... God Phantom?"
He grimaced. "Not a god."
"King, then." She stepped forward. "May I ask of the ice?"
——
Spoiler, sensing weakness like the Riddler to a riddle, leaned in. "Did you know they have a traditional dance to honor the god that gave them the unbreakable ice that protects Atlantis to this day? It goes like this," Spoiler stepped back and did the dance, complete with exaggerated arm movements and, embarrassingly, the scuttle walk Crab!Danny was forced to learn with his new crab form.
"We shall never speak of this again," Danny huffed.
"But King Phantom, the God of Eternal Ice and Protection, how could we not celebrate your iciness?" Spoiler simpered, Black Bat not too far away and shaking with laughter. The purple donning vigilante did the scuttle dance once more, picking up bottles as she went a small circle around one of Bludhaven's rock beaches.
Danny scowled and plucked the tablet away from her, hair flowing an a more agitated direction. His jumpsuit burned brighter. "Why are you two menaces in Bludhaven? I thought your territory was in Gotham."
"Nightwing asked for back up and we were in the area." Spoiler, blessedly, stopped the walk to answer him. "By the way, are you and Danny dating?"
"Pardon?" He asked, insulted but highly amused.
"Oh, you know, he has your number, and you only ever talk to him outside of us, and how you guys have a high level of communication." Spoiler said leadingly.
Oh, Danny knew what this was about now. He found out their identities and now these two are interrogating him because he liked them best. They thought they were so clever. Well, they clearly haven't gotten to know Danny at all if they thought he was going to make good decisions.
Danny tilted his head, making sure his face gets as eerie as possible, shadows elongating and eyes burning just that much brighter. The neon green of his face shone even brighter against the suddenly dark landscape of the place. Black Bat stood up, laughter seizing immediately. Spoiler tensed.
"I have a riddle for you. You are good at those, are you not?"
Spoiler blinked but gamely said, "Bring it."
"What do these things have in common? An arguing couple, papers on a stranger's desk, and Star City's robbers."
"..." Spoiler slipped into her solving mode. "Stolen goods. Stolen hearts?" She guessed.
"No. The answer is that they're all none of your business," Danny snarled. His form flickered. "Keep your questing away from Danny- Daniel, vigilante. Your duty is to protect your city and help her," Danny swept an arm out. "Stick to that instead of inserting yourself into places you are not wanted."
Then, with a toss of an ecto-crossed recorder that held the verbal report he'd promised Nightwing towards Black Bat, Danny blinked out of the visible spectrum and flew above the two.
"... Shit, I think I pissed him off."
Black Bat nodded. "He was defensive."
"Yeah... did you hear that slip? Oh, they are so dating."
Danny grinned. He couldn't wait for Tim to interrogate him soon.
——
"You're kidding."
Danny shook his head, maniacal grin still on his face hours later. He'd taken the liberty to call his best friends before classes started for the day.
Tucker groaned. "Danny, I can't believe you're messing with Batman. Why are you like this."
"Look, I need your help."
"Oh no, keep me out of your dumbass plans, Fenton," Sam pointed at him through the screen, immaculately painted black nails threatening.
"Okay, if you go along with my plan, I'll give you Dr. Isley's number."
"Deal," Sam said immediately, changing her tune at a drop of a hat. Or, at a drop of a number.
"What about me?" Tucker asked, offended. "I deserve compensation for my work too, dammit!"
"I'll give you Tim Drake's number and persuade him to let you have a crack at Wayne Industry's tech basement."
"Deal, what are we doing?"
Danny's grin spread even wider. "We're dating. And, you two? You're Phantom's exes. Tucker, you say good stuff about me. Sam? You make up terrible things about me. But we're all dating each other and I'm dating Phantom on the side."
"I hate you," Sam deadpanned. "But fine, it's not that hard. I've got tons of embarrassing stories about Phantom. You better get me that number, Danny, because you know Dr. Isley was my gay awakening."
"For Tim Drake, I'd be willing to puff up your ego." Tucker said solemnly.
"Perfect. I'm cleaning his brother of ectoplasm today. so expect a call later! Love you guys!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, boyfriend." Sam clicked off the call.
"Think Tim Drake would be interested in a date?" Tucker asked Danny.
"Nah, I think he's got his heart on Benard."
"Damn," Tucker sighed. "Guess I'll have to mend my broken heart with the tools of a state-of-the-art lab, right, Danny?"
"Yep, see ya!" Danny hung up. Today was going to be a good day.
#batman#danny phantom#dcxdp#dpxdc#sea cryptid danny phantom#danny: am i dating myself idk#the bats are good at conclusions#they tend to be right#so when they're wrong they're *wrong*#sea cryptic! danny au
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With the context of the Book of Bill and the characterisation of Bill, I ended up finding that all the members of the Zodiac have a thing or two in common with Bill Cipher.
Six fingered hand-Stanford Pines
-Both have a genetic mutation which they got ostracized for but made them interested in the worlds beyond.
- Both are egocentric and smart.
-Both have a thirst for revenge to prove the people around them they were wrong about them.
-Both didn't mean to endanger their dimension (Ford wanted knowledge and Bill wanted to show them the stars)
-Animals aren't safe around them (Ford set a bird on fire by mistaking it as a Phoenix and Bill ripped out a deer's teeth in his debut and in the storyboards of Weirdmageddon P1 he uses a deer to forcibly kiss Ford's statue as if they were his Barbie and Ken)
-Both have a weird sense of humor
-Both are considered criminals in the multiverse (Theft in Ford's case and Manslaughther, Murder alongside other stuff like mass property destruction in Bill's case)
-Both project onto others they see as similar to themselves (Bill with Ford-and on a minor scale Pacifica-and Ford with Dipper)
-Both ended up getting tricked by a conman (Ford by Bill and Bill by Stanley)
-Both are authors! (The Journals and the Book Of Bill, which are essentially diaries that talked about what their lives were, a bit about themselves and the creatures they found through their life)
Crescent symbol/Fish-Stanley Pines
-Both are scammers
-Both share mannerisms, one of them being referring to Ford as Sixer(which led to people theorizing Stan was Bill's reincarnation)
-Bad relationship with their parents but seem closer with their mom (Bill's parents tried to make him blind to the 3rd dimension but it seems Bill genuinely loved his mama Scalene while Fildbrick didn't value Stan as much as Ford and Caryn was the only one worried about Stanley and was one of the 2 persons that assisted his fake funeral)
-Both were seen as a bad kid growing up (Bill by the people on his dimension due to his mutation and the habilities this granted him while Stan was seen as lesser than Ford due to the latter's gigantic IQ and his rebellious nature)
-Both made one mistake that heavily affected the course of their lives and can never return home because of it (Stan ruining Ford´s project and Bill setting his home ablaze)
-Both didn't mean to push Ford away from them nor put their families in any danger initially(Bill wanted Ford to continue with the portal and got sad after their fallout and Stan did what he did in a moment where he wasnt thinking rationally and it cost him 30 years of loneliness and guilt)
-Both went to jail on different occassions (Stan on Colombia and Bill after going on a rampage in the bar while drunk after the fallout with Ford and the Theraprism if you wanna add it)
-Both tend show only 1 eye to people as well as a cane (Bill only has 1-although he can shapeshift and have multiples as seen in his demon form- and he uses the cane mostly in Dreamscappers, a bit in Sock Opera and in the intro for Weirdmageddon while Stan uses a patch and an 8 ball cane for tourists during his mystery man persona)
-Both used their art to influence people (Stan with the Mystery Shack's attractions and Bill using animation and figurines which failed, unlike Stan's works, unless you count the Lil' Stanley comic)
-Both have used a red demon costume once (Bill in the book and Stan in a picture in Gideon Rises)
-Both wanted to set the journals on fire (with Bill actually doing it in Weirdmageddon Part 1)
-They find Dipper's disstress/fear and annoyance hilarious (Stan teasing him vs Bill terrorizing him)
Glasses-Fiddleford McGucket
-Both end up going insane after a traumatic event (The destruction of his home dimension in Bill's case and McGucket taking a peek into Bill eating his own exoskeleton after crossing the portal)
-The times they helped/aided people it ended bad for them (In McGucket's case, Dipper with his new voice and the Gideon Bot that ended up getting destroyed in the scuffle with Dipper and in Bill's case; Dipper became Bill's puppet and Gideon didn't get the Shack's signature hence he had to use dynamite as a plan B and Weirdmaggedon only lasted 4-5 days for the Henchmaniacs while in McGuckets case's Shacktron didn't survive against Bill as they didn't consider protecting the arms and legs the same way that the Shack was protected)
-Both played a part in the creation of secret societies (Fiddleford by creating The Societyvof the Blind Eye and Bill by the Ciphertologists and inderectly creating the Anti-Bill Cipher society by terrorizing 4 persons)
-Underneath all that insanity and very deep in that broken mind, there is one very smart broken guy.
-Both lost their families (At least Fiddleford could reconciliate with some of it but Bill doesn´t have the same chance anymore)
Bag of ice-Wendy Courdory
-Both are rebellious and dislike authority figures.
-They like to do what they want with no regard for rules
-Both abused their power on more than one occasion (Wendy by stealing snacks and throwing water balloons at the elderly when working at the pool and Bill throughout his deals and in Weirdmageddon)
-They've had guts to face powerfull creatures (Bill the Time Baby and Wendy stuff like the ShapeShifter, the Unicorns or the Eye Bats in Weirdmageddon)
-Both lost a mom when they were young.
Questioning Mark-Soos Ramírez
-Both are smarter than what they look like upon first sight.
-Both lack a dad (Bill's died while Soos's left him)
-They have a funny side to them (Bill more leaning to sadism though)
-Both had their eyes damaged by Mabel (Soos by getting attacked with glitter in Stan Is Not What He Seems and Bill by getting sprayed with graffiti paint in Weirdmageddon Part 3)
Stiched heart-Robbie Valentino
-Both had their relationships ruined by their own arrogance, negligence and dishonesty (Bill being an abusive partner while Robbie was immature).
-They did not take the fallout with their partner well (at least Robbie would never dare to do anything similar to what Bill did)
-They tried to pursue their partner after the break up but to no avail (Bill with threaths and later on with offers of power and Robbie by using music as seen in Gideon Rises and both actually using messanges-Bill wasting Ford's Post-it notes and Robbie sad emails and texts to Wendy)
-Both are good with music (Bill can play the piano and xylophone as seen in his apology video and Robbie can play the guitar and both can sing)
-Both insulted Soos or referred to him in condescending ways (Robbie called him Big Dude and Bill adressed him as "the fat one")
-Both had beef with a 12 year old and wanted to harm them (Robbie wanted to fist fight a child aka Dipper and Bill planned to commit suicide in Dipper's body, turn the mystery twins into corpses, disassamble their molecules and almost kills Mabel in the series finale)
'Both got turned to stone at one point in Weirdmageddon (Robbie when it started and Bill at the end of it)
One eyed Pentagram-Gideon Gleeful
-Having too much power that they acquired at a young age which heavily affected them and began their rise to villainy
-Both have a hatred towards Stanley Pines for meddling with their plans to obtain absolute power and ultimatetly ruining their plans which ended with them in prison.
-Both burnt a picture of the object of their affections; destroying the section with the rest of their family and leaving their faces untouched.
-Both planned to use Mabel and Dipper to get one of the original mystery twins to give them what they wanted
-Both left the Pines Twin they were interested on imprisoned during Weirdmageddon.
-Both deep down craved adoration and attention.
-Both lead a gang of criminals but dont treat them with a much respect as the one Pines Twin they are pining on while hating the other twins for thinking they turned them away from them when in reality it was their actions that did.
-Both got punched in the face by a Pines Twin in a season Finale inside someone´s head (Gideon Bot's and Stanley's)
-Both seem to care about their appearance (Gideon worrying about his hair the most and Bill about his bowtie, given the scream he lets out when Dipper blasts him and him readjusting it a couple of times during Weirdmageddon)
-Both ended up in prison after acquiring a position of absolute power where they do art therapy
-Both are snappy dressers and use their charm to trick people
Llama-Pacifica Northwest
-Both had messy childhoods that turned them into who they are now.
-Both are pretty good liars and can trick people very easily (Bill with his deals and Pacifica in the Lost Legends comic)
-Both look down on people they see as inferior to them(Bill with humans and Pacifica with the working class, hillbillies and the Pines before the events of The mystery of the Northwest mansion and Weirdmageddon)
-Both see themselves as monsters that cause havoc no matter where they go or what they do (Pacifica in dreams and Bill due to what he did in his home)
-Both were forced by their parents to act in a certain way (Bill´s at least loved him and were good intentioned)
-Both are fighters (Pacifica by defying her parents wishes, facing against the ghost and the face stealer in Lost Legends and refusing Bill's deal in her dream and Bill could stand a fight with Shacktron which he ended up defeating and in his book its implied he can fight easily against demons or ghosts)
-Both have wore a crown (Pacifica in her debut episode and Bill in his portrait in the Penthouse suite of the Fearamid)
Shooting Star-Mabel Pines
-Both are agents of Chaos (Mabel being Chaotic Good/Neutral and Bill Chaotic Evil).
-Both enjoy partying and to have fun.
-Both have a wild imagination and a sense of style.
-Both like karaoke and have had a karaoke night with one of the original mystery twins
-Both have eaten stuff normal people shouldn't eat/gross things(Bill his exoskeleton and illegal punch and Mabel getting wasted with Smile Dip, a leaf, huge amounts of sugar that would end with her sick, Mabel juice and she once got hospitalized by eating sniff and scratch stickers)
-Both like makeovers (as seen in a part of the book of Bill where he talks about hiding the blood of his past)
-Both think highly of themselves (Bill's bottomless ego vs Mabel being secure about her talents, qualities and appearance)
-Both have social skills that made others attracted to them, mostly loners or freaks (Bill with his Henchmaniacs for their shared love of chaos and Ford with his smarts and cosmical knowledge and Mabel with Candy and Greta by being weirdos and not being as popular as Pacifica and her posse)
-Both adress Ford as "Fordsy"
-Both have rolled in the grass in Gravity Falls(Bill while possesing Ford during puppet hour and Mabel in Tourist Trapped)
-Both put their wants over other people's and/or their needs (Like in Sock Opera but even if Mabel is sometimes selfish at least apologizes and learns from her mistakes while Bill doesn't care who he hurts and would never apologize)
-Both use white out to exclude certain stuff they dont like from reading material to "fix it" or crayons/markers to cross them (Mabel with the dialog in the Comix Up story in Lost Legends or certain things such as her summer romances and in the Mabel´s guide to color with the picture and Bill with a section where part of The Great Gatsby is shown on his book where he mentions assigned reading or stuff like his exes and his former friend The Oracle/Seven eyes)
-Both became gods of destruction, first time by accident and the second with full intention(Mabel by accident with the rift and ending with MabelLand and Bill with the accidental destruction of his home and with Weirdmageddon)
-You could argue they're awfull when it comes to romance (Mabel's attempts always end in failure and Bill fumbled Ford so so hard)
Pine Tree-Dipper Mason Pines
-Both are good at decoding codes and solving mysteries and have good academic skills.
-Both didn't have many friends growing up and were picked on as kids (Bill for his mutation and Dipper for his birthmark)
-The times they wanted to prove themselves to others ended badly for them (Dipper caused a zombie apocalypse and Bill destroyed his dimension by accident)
-The names they use aren't their real names (Bill confirmed in an AMA years ago that Bill Cipher is just a name he picked so humans could converse with him without going bonkers upon first contact and Dipper's name is actually Mason but everyone refers to him as Dipper due to his birthmark)
-Has cloned himself (Bill's are a natural hability for him while Dipper made copies of himself via paper-rest in piece Tyrone)
-Both were adorable as babies.
-Both got obsessed with someone to the point of messing with their personal lifes (Dipper with Wendy during her relationship with Robbie and Bill with Ford and his relationship with McGucket)
-They changed hats at different points in their life; Dipper in Tourist Trapped changes from his green hat with a five point star to the classic blue pine tree while Bill sported a multicolor hat as a kid before changing into a tophat (if we take the theory that Bill's hat was originally his father's then both Dipper's and Bill's were owned by a family member before being passed on to them, Dipper's belonging to Stan)
I know this is probably just a coincidence (save the stuff with Ford as some were meant to highlight the bond these two had and establish parallels between the two, making them doomed soulmates and adding another layer of sadness over the toxic yaoi) but a fun one still.
Thanks for reading!
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#old man mcgucket#Mcgucket#Soos#soos ramirez#wendy#wendy corduroy#pacifica#pacifica northwest#gideon#gideon gleeful#mabel#mabel pines#dipper#dipper pines#bill cipher#the book of bill#my post#gravity falls post
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