#- living with my abusive mom

[valtsv]

Please in no way shape or form feel obligated to answer this but since I so rarely hear about MEDICAL abuse as opposed to, ya know, the more traditional verbal/physical type (tho I think that they often go hand-in-hand) and I want to compare experiences. Was your mom "always" alternative for EVERYONE or did she make exceptions for herself? For example my mom never got me vaccinated and, like yours, withheld all sorts of medication under the guise of "protecting" me but when she got diagnosed with a chronic illness she started taking whatever the doctors gave her under excuses of her pain being "unbearable" or HER doctor not being a quack like the others, etc. Honestly it's been 4 years since I've had any contact with my mom but what makes me the maddest looking back was her hypocrisy.

my mom is on the opposite end of the spectrum in that regard. she categorically refuses to participate in any medical treatment that conflicts with her personal principles, and claimed she would kill herself if she was faced with no choice but to be vaccinated during covid (needless to say i haven't told her i'm fully vaxxed), and i believe her, because once when she had a fever so high her body seized up and she went into shock she refused to let us take her to hospital and told me she'd never forgive me if i dialled for a doctor. the whole experience needless to say didn't make me trust her opinion more, and i'm aware of how ableist and dangerous her "if your body isn't strong enough to deal with its health issues naturally it's because you're doing something wrong" stance is. i'm really sorry your mom is such a hypocrite though, that's hellishly infuriating.

[ruler-of-turtle-kind]

Hey, do any of my followers have experience with absconding from their parents' house to a safe place as soon as they're able? Do you have any advice on how to do that? Do you have any advice on what the person they're going to live with should do?

[littlefankingdom]

I fucking hate when one of my silly incorrect quotes post is successful and people reblogged it with some Bruce's slander. Get the fuck off my post.

"Talia took care of Jason because Bruce abandoned him."

Wtf are you talking about. Bruce didn't abandoned Jason, he died. And he didn't abandoned him when he came back, Jason was not in the right to ask people to prove their love to him by killing others. And he also tried to kill the Joker after Jason died, he thought he had succeeded. Like, shut the fuck up.

"I don't give Bruce credit for anything regarding Dick's education."

Well, who the fuck raised him from 8 to 18 then? Alfred Pennyworth? The same Alfred Pennyworth that raised Bruce Wayne? The one that maintained the "employee/employer" distance with the grieving child he raised. Look at young adult Bruce Wayne and I dare you to tell me Alfred Pennyworth can raise a child better than Bruce, I dare you. And don't you fucking dare blaming Bruce for it, that would be ableist af to fucking blame him for being mentally ill and labelled it as "difficult", I don't tolerate that shit. Bruce Wayne was there for Dick when he lost his parents, he helped that kid through grief and showed him love, he held him close contrary to how Alfred held him. He taught him how to be a great detective, how to be a great fighter, and all he wanted was Dick to be a better man than him. Go tell that bs to your fav and see if he agrees (he doesn't, Dick doesn’t agree and would bite your head off for saying that)

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

[ruthlesslistener]

Ngl something that really pisses me off about the way that Tumblr deals with mental health is the fact that there's this seeming disconnect between trying to be inclusive of mental/personality disorders without acknowledging the grotesque, uncomfortable nature of some of them (OCD intrusive thoughts, for example, esp. if they're POCD) and the fact that others are, in fact, the root cause for a lot of actual abuse

Like, I've been hearing a lot from my mom about how my dad is a narcissist and an abuser bc of it (she's only just now realizing how awful he is after starting therapy, and her therapist is who told her what I've been trying for years), but I'm uncomfortable talking about that because as soon as I rant on it on my own damn blog, people will jump at my throat to snarl at me about how narissistic abuse isn't real or w/ever. Hell, even hearing my mom TALK about her experiences in that light makes me feel nervous/uncomfortable bc I knew if she said that shit on here she'd get piled with hate asks for her not using the 'correct' language, even though she basically flat-out admitted that the only reason me or my siblings existed was through coercion/marital rape when she was drinking. That shit's been haunting me ever since she said it bc I genuinely did not know that it was that bad (though I should have, bc he used to be very phsyically abusive to us before my brother was born), but I knew if I said anything about my discomfort for it til now that people would get mad at me for calling my dad a narcissist, even though that is the root of his behavior and this is my own damn blog for posting these sorts of thoughts/musings. Like, cool! Here's my mom gushing to me about how grateful she is that I'm the reason she figured out she needed help, and I'm sitting here feeling some kind of fucked-up queasy fear-guilt bc she's using wording that would get her cancelled on tumblr even as it contextualizes 30+ years of abuse in a manner that is accurate, easily digestible, and assisting her in getting aid. That's not helpful. But the obsession with 'proper inclusive language' over 'respectful conduct' takes priority over actual help

I don't think all people with NPD are automatically abusers, because I know myself just how easy it is to be an abusive, manipulative asshole. It's really only bc I grew up detesting my father so much that I'm not a piece of shit, honestly. People should be judged based on how they treat the people around them, not how they actually feel or think about it. But at the same time, saying narcissistic abuse doesn't exist is just plain falsehood. No personality disorder is automatically abusive, but many of them are the source of very particular abuses, and claiming otherwise is not helpful to the people trying to be better than their brain, nor to the people who got harmed by those who never bothered to try

[totally-not-an-awkward-okapi]

Had a weird dream about Free Willy but trying to break an Angel(?) out of a government facility and honestly now I’m attached to this big anxious bird. Learning to fly is hard when you’re a gangly preteen.

[velvtcherie]

i will NEVER understand enji defenders ever. dabi deadass said on LIVE broadcast that he continued to make his mother have kids. "rei wanted the kids" no tf she didn't ??? comprehension levels must be below hell if u think she wasn't forced to have 4 children for the sake of endeavor's delusional ass. he only apologized because he alr managed to get what he wanted so there was no reason for him to keep actively abusing his family

[midgardianqueenreturns]

Moving from the MHA fandom to the One Piece fandom is quite a trip because oh boy the latter is so much better at understanding what is and isn’t a gag in terms of child abuse. Most One Piece fans will tell you Kureha, Bellemere, and Zeff are good parents with little to no pushback from other fans. Kureha throws knives at Chopper, Bellemere bonks Nami and Nojiko on the heads, Zeff kicks Sanji around, but the fans understand these are all meant to be gags so they don’t call them abusive. Sure, they may not like that violence towards offspring is portrayed in a comedic slapstick light, and criticize accordingly, but they understand Oda’s intent that these are meant to show they are rough and tough love families and do not use it to judge the characters themselves as though they were real life people. You will not get accused of being pro corporal punishment if you call Kureha, Bellemere, or Zeff good parents in the One Piece fandom.

The MHA fandom on the other hand? They INSIST the slapstick moment of Mitsuki hitting Katsuki MUST make her 100% abusive, and if you point out it’s a gag, you’ll get accused of being an abuse apologist or endorsing corporal punishment. Horikoshi’s intention does not matter to them, they can’t even just say they understand Mitsuki isn’t abusive but don’t like that her hitting Bakugo is portrayed as a joke like some One Piece fans do on this subject, no, they’d rather write long essays and fics on why this slapstick gag moment makes her an evil abuser.

This gap in literacy between the One Piece and MHA fandom is fascinating, though don’t get me wrong the One Piece fandom itself is FAR from perfect and still has illiteracy on different matters, including other gags (wish they also understood the same logic applies to Sanji’s gag) but here, they understand it better than the MHA fandom.

[crimeronan]

my mom called to say happy birthday and talk about my impending trip home to visit and then was like "so..... about your dad....." and then informed me that she and my sister have been discussing the logistics of how to have the most painless interaction with him possible. she was like "if there was a 100% chance he'd never find out, we both think you shouldn't see him at all. but...." and i was like yeah, no, i can't feasibly keep this trip secret. especially if i'm seeing his relatives.

and Then she explained that my siblings have worked out the Exact Logistics of how i can see him One (1) Time, with a set time limit, and then escape and not worry about him at all.

and then she was like well. obviously they're both coming with you too. they love to gossip about your dad's weird shit it'll be an adventure for the three of you!!

i..... didn't even tell any of them i've been stressed about seeing him. (although i DID tell them i didn't want to.)

she ended all of this with a laugh like "god, it really Shouldn't be this difficult," which is True, this is an insane game to have to play, but also. get you a family that cheerfully schemes like this. i'm feeling less stressed about my dad than i have in Weeks.

[londonsolong]

i wanna say something. it’s not because your parents gave you a roof to be under and food, which is the bare minimum may i say, that it gave them a reason to be abusive towards you. parents giving you a roof and food is a totally different thing than them being abusive. they did a good thing by giving you a roof to be under, they did a bad thing while being abusive. they shouldn’t say “oh, i gave you everything i had and you’re complaining i was abusive”. like no. stop excusing people who are in the wrong. i will say it again and again : to have a roof under your head, food, meds are the normal things a parent should provide to their kid. it doesn’t excuse their abusive behaviour towards you.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

JoJo Siwa doesn’t deserve all the hate (and homophobia) she’s getting for her style and music; but she does deserve scrutiny for defending Colleen Ballinger and being both active and complicit in abuse that happened on her TV show. Like the girl has been under the public eye in unhealthy environments all her life; cut her some slack — not too much; she’s still a responsible adult — but if you’re going to dogpile her, then at least dogpile her for the right reasons. Jesus Fucking Christ.

[lalalychee]

people responding to that one poll like "being 14 is the worst time in your life" lmao bro i wish that were me and my experience. i swear every year is so much worse than the last. 14 was a joke compared to what i have to endure now.

[ayyponine]

not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....

[whatimdoing-here]

Ah, gotta love gaming culture, where my 10-year-olds friend says, without an ounce of joking, "well maybe if you were GOOD. Why do you suck so bad?" Ugh

[marshmellowtea]

as much as i appreciate the fandom's general unsympathetic view of celia bean i cannot lie i do love giving her sympathetic qualities along with her unsympathetic ones.........she's a victim and a perpetrator, she's continuing the cycle of abuse, she's trapped in an unhappy, toxic (if not abusive in its own right) marriage, she was too young when she married raymond, she hates him, she enables and defends him, she blames chris for the abuse, she's a bigot, she's so so angry and so so scared, her entire personality is a goddamn trauma response but telling her that would make her scoff because she's not like one of those weak willed women, her coldness and callousness is her strength in her mind...........you know what i mean.........

[coffee-keith]

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