#- and our concept of hell traumatized me”

[scarletfasinera]

All of the responses I keep reading on the antitheist post (because I hate myself I guess) about hell being abusive to teach children all going "actually you're just talking about CHRISTIANITY because JUDAISM doesn't believe in hell" as if Christianity and Judaism are the only religions ever. as if there aren't literally thousands upon THOUSANDS of religions out there in the world that have some kind of concept of hell that is used as a form of power and control to scare children and threaten people into submission within it. But sure, your one or two religions you can mention off-hand that don't have a hell-like concept are the reason the "antitheist" part of the post should be written off and the reason you can try to reduce the post to "just being about christianity". ok.

[evilminji]

Behold! o/ The Face Of Benevolent Evil!

Mr. Principle! A professional hero and educator!

Also possibly some sort of stoat hybrid! Certainly a chimera of Japanese fauna! With the Quirk High Specs, he is one of, if not THE, smartest beings on the planet of which he resides! With a background perfectly justifying a decent into hatred and villiany, he instead chose to channel his incredible world shaking intellect into the shaping of future generations!

He likes to fuck with people!

For FUNSIES~☆!

What can he say? It keeps a man young and mentally stimulated! Plus the hysterical screaming of his staff and students is HILARIOUS. He can even argue it makes for good reaction training! Unforseen situations, children! React!!! *psychotic chortling*

Mmmmm, yes. We all have our trauma responses. Ways we deal with them. He should probably find other means... but he won't! Tea and tormenting the student body make for good future heroes, you know! They adapt!

But! You may ask! Why am I introducing you to this... *polite yet somehow deeply threatening smile* c-completely sane and normal individual!? Esteemed educator that he is! Ha ha...

A good and not at a under threat question!

Villains? Are fuuuuuckin STUPID!

Doesn't matter how many PHDs you possess! In fact! That makes it WORSE! You moron! You absolute fool! No traveling circus would have you, you sub-rate CLOWN of a jingle jangle dunce jester! You have a god damn PHD! Possibly MULTIPLE PHD!

And you thought "ooooh I should go into cwiiiiime~☆"?

Do you hear yourself when you talk? DO YOU?! Ooooh boohoo. They won't let you study what you WANT to study. It's called an ETHICS BOARD. And YEAH, NO SHIT! Maybe get over it and keep you fucked up fantasies to your SELF.

Or? If you REALLY can't hold it in? Lay the ground work like EVERYONE FUCKING ELSE! You're not special! Everyone wants to play god! It's FUN! They let you have the COOL toys! But you have to EARN that shit! Not jump straight from graduation to "fucked up superscience"!

And? If it's NOT the Ethics Board? But just some bureaucrat on a power trip? You don't have to fucking STAY. This? This RIGHT HERE? Is why I-Island fucking EXSISTS.

APPLY.

They are SO MANY countries you could move too. SO MANY other labs. You actual DUMBASS.

But NO! You decided to commit to a fucked up underground Villian Lab. As though HUNTING THOSE isn't the PERSONAL fucking passion project of THE SMARTEST BEING IN JAPAN. Frankly? You deserve this. You deserve this and our school doesn't know you. Never heard of you. You whoms't?

Coulda changed the world. But instead all you did was piss of The Fuzzy White Demon Lord of UA. Rest in pieces. *click*

*sound of doors smashing open*

*violent Raid Upon Your Labs noises*

But! You may ask? What's IN the Lab?

What MAKES this a DP crossover?

I like your question asking spirit! Good one! And the answer? You know what's better then ONE(1) Nedzu? A second one that you can ACTUALLY control this time! After all! You could consider Mr. Principle a prototype. A proof of concept, if you will. If you were able to make ANOTHER.....

Well, you would set off EVERY. SINGLE. ALARM. Nedzu has set up!

All of them!

Because he don't PLAY THAT.

He has long last trauma from the labs and is the SOLE FUCKING SURVIVOR. There WERE others. They Did Not make it. And their slow agonizing deaths are carved into his brain for the rest of his life. Truely "The living shall envy the dead"; it was a place that made hell seem merciful.

When he declare Never Again?

He fucking MEANT Never Again. He will BURN your empires to ash, with you in them. No More Labs.

So :) You can IMAGINE :) HOW HAPPY HE IS :)

That someone out there is trying to RECREATE his SUPER traumatic childhood, on ANOTHER CHILD. Ha ha! Gonna be a second Nedzu huh? Planning to torture HIM like you did me, HUH? Shove him in a cage and treat him like an animal? Force him to watch as the others die? Collars and whips and cattle prods? Mazes?!

Nedzu may lose his shit.

Juuuuust a little bit.

But if anyone there knows what good for them? They saw NOTHING. What's a little PTSD flashback between friends? Now what is the baby?

Smashcut to said baby!

Because it was a TEAM effort, Danny was successful in "Nuh Uh!"ing out of Rulership. But NOT out of governance. Since he DID help. He's a Councilman now. It's? Not as bad as it could be, honestly. Since it's opened the Zone up to a more democratic system.

Still held by "kick the ass of the person you wanna replace" but still!

Babysteps.

Thing is? There was apparently this weird? Leak? Like a couple hundred years ago, in this one area, that was never addressed. Everyone just moved their doors and stuff. Treated it like the floors flooded. But now that they HAVE someone to complain too?

They all want their territories back.

"Go fix it!" What are we? Janitors?

Danny looses the rock, paper, scissors competition. He's pretty sure Boxy cheated. But like? Dude has a kid to go home too, so Danny doesn't fight him to hard on this. Uuuuuugh. Just remember the Spider-Man motto. Great power~ blah blah blaaaah~

And? Wow is it fucked out there.

The whole PLANET has to be limnal as FUCK. Yikes.

Problem is? When he and his team (Because YES, he HAS learned from his mistakes, Jazz.) get close to the... frankly the Zone here looks like distorted spiderwebbing. With him leading the charge, obviously.

....something happens.

It's... it's not a portal. Wrong color. It's like someone USED the weird spiderwebbing effect to... to reach INTO the Zone? But they are severally Limnal. Clawed hands, blue tint. But that's not the problem.

No, the problem.

The Horror.

The thing that his team can only watch on in agonized terror as it plays out... is that hand? It shoots out of nowhere. Ghostlike in the Zone. Meaning it must be living. And PLUNGES directly into Danny's chest to wrap around his core.

Time seems to slow.

He can't even scream in pain. At the violation. His team, acquaintances, yes, but friendly ones. Can not even cry out in horror, as they watch their friend and team lead be butchered before them. Before that uncaring hand is ripping back. Perfect ice and starlight in its uncaring grip.

For a terrible moment... he is in two places at once.

Then he is crushed in a burning grip. Like molten bars. Watching his own body dissolve into nothing in an instant, pain and horror still etched upon his face. The beginnings of screams ripping from his team as they jerk away from the nightmarish threat.

Then he can not think at all.

He... he TRIES. Knows he has been captured. Is certainly not the sort to give up easily. But... he's so tired. His body feels? Weird. Not wrong, per say. It's HIS. But... small and weird. Like he's shape shifted into a new form and hasn't adjusted yet.

....

.......

...........

He's getting really sick of all the goop against his whiskers and in his ears. It feels WEIRD against his fu- WAIT a second... did those assholes shove him into an animal? Why?! To contain him? Ha! Jokes on them! He's DONE THIS before!

For FUN!

He once spent a whole ass summer as a tiny dragon just 'CAUSE!

Unfortunately, said assholes notice him waking up. Dump him in a glorified hamster cage. But like.... a SHITTY "I don't care about the pet I bought" hamster cage. Dude. And he's naked.

Is that Japanese? Ooooh! It IS! Thank you, Tucker's Weeb phase.

......actually, never mind. Lotta dehumanizing language there, my guys. What is this? The GIW international? You couldn't even give me PANTS? Swear to God, call me an "it" ONE more time and the next time I have to go? I am going to aim through the bars at your-! *alarms going off*

....wasn't me.

I mean, be all means, ha ha and get fucked, but? Wasn't me. Oh hey! Some one exploded the doo-

AND? In Lab 4?

Nedzu finds a child with fluffy, ungroomed black and white fur, and the curious yet cautious eyes of a survivor. They are the most magnificent green, pale and luminous they glow in the laboratories lighting. Paws too big for his small frame, delicate ears on the swivel, equally large. Yet to grow into either. Adolescent, at best.

He watches the child take him in. Note his features and the chaos behind him. The injured scientist under his feet. Come to him conclusion. Nedzu will not rush him. Now that he... he stand the chance to be the hero he himself never had. It is a strange feeling. At once cathartic and unbearably painful.

He is given the equivalent of a cheerful grin, as the lad points the the lock on the cage. Is asked if he happened to bring a spare pair of pants. He can not help his amused chortle as he makes quick work of the lock. The unbearable RELIEF he feels.

He... he was not too late.

These monsters had no chance to crush the boy's light. To make a monster of him, like they did with him. He survived his laboratory, his hell. But not all of him left that terrible place. He knows that. Some innocence, some goodness, died alone in the dark. But here? He insured there would be no chance.

With amusement, he watches the boy turn the lab upside down until he finds spare scrubs. Triumphant, he then considers his own, tiny claws. Dismisses them. Attempts to hop up on a chair to retrieve something sharp. It? Is unbearably cute. To watch him rip and shred, problem solve. His little mind churning away. Whiskers twitching as his eyes dart around, considering his options.

Nedzu offers one of his spare knives.

Watches him light up.

Adorable~

@legitimatesatanspawn @hdgnj @nerdpoe @babbling-babull @lolottes

[gatheringbones]

[“Later in the day, while Heather and I were making the bed and talking about the chores we needed to get through the next morning, she used a male pronoun in regard to me. “Well that’s gonna be weird, huh?” I said. “Not saying ‘he’ for me anymore.” “What do you mean?” she asked. “I mean I want to transition. I want to become a woman… fully.” She paused and fell silent. I think the revelation that I was a transsexual truly hit her in this moment. She slowly started to comprehend that this didn’t mean I’d simply be cross-dressing around the house. It started to hit me, too. I wanted to transition genders, and there was a lot more to that than just hormones and surgery. Neither of us fully understood what it meant yet, or where to start.

The next day Andrew and James met me at the studio to talk about plans around the album and the future of the band. Jordan came, too, as he was again filling in as our manager. Until then, I’d been telling them that I was writing a concept album about a transsexual prostitute—the metaphor behind the feeling of having whored myself out to a record label was thinly transparent since James, Andrew, and I were all processing our own post-traumatic stress disorder from the past couple years of music industry hell. Previously, I’d been able to sneak a few subtle metaphors about my dysphoria in here and there. But an album focused entirely on it? I didn’t know how to explain that, and the new songs were not sticking with the guys.

James could make out a few lyrics to the title track through his in-ear monitors: “You want them to see you like they see every other girl / But they just see a faggot.” “Hey, man,” he said between takes. “Are you saying ‘faggot’ on this song? It sounds like you’re saying it a lot. Are people gonna be cool with that?”

I realized that the reason the words weren’t connecting with them was that they didn’t have the context. So I came out with it. I didn’t mean to, I just wanted them to understand. I couldn’t hold back the momentum of the day before. Once the truth was spoken, it could be contained no longer.

“It’s about me, and how I’m a transsexual. This is something I’ve been dealing with for a long time,” I told them. Once I started explaining it, I couldn’t stop. It was like an out-of-body experience where I saw myself, but was powerless to hold back the flood of words. “I want to start living as a woman, and to be referred to as Laura. This is something I’ve thought about a lot and isn’t going away, so I might as well embrace it.”

No one knew what to say once I finally stopped rambling. The three of them just sat there in the studio control room, looking down at their feet or at whatever lit-up piece of audio equipment their eyes could find, focusing anywhere but on me. We’d had some heavy conversations over the years—emotional moments where we’d told each other off or outright quit the band—but nothing compared to this. Andrew’s usually warm smile was locked in since I started talking, and it looked like it was going to melt off his face. His skin flushed red, trying not to flinch. There was nothing any of them could say. I broke the silence by asking them to come smoke a joint with me. We got high standing in a circle in the open back doorway. “OK, well,” I said. “I guess that’s all we’ll do today. How about we try again tomorrow?”

We shared the most comically awkward group hug, a horrible mess of pats on the back and overly extended stiff arms. They left, and I locked the door behind them. Oh fuck, I thought. I called Heather and told her that I had just come out to them. It felt unreal to speak these secrets aloud, hearing myself verbalize thoughts that had only ever existed in my head.

The guys had an hour and a half back to Gainesville to think about all that had just been unloaded on them. James has since told me that as he sat there stoned on that long drive home, a lot of memories over the past 15 years suddenly started to make sense for him. My lyrics, my behavior on tour; one by one, he had tiny flashes of realization about me in this new light.”]

laura jane grace, from tranny: confessions of punk rock’s most infamous anarchist sellout, 2016

[actual-changeling]

I do wonder if Crowley's optimism is actually optimism. If it weren't 4 a.m., I'd do a philosophical deep dive, but since it is, I'll just try to string some thoughts together.

At the core of Crowley's questioning stands, "What is the point of it all?"—it's what he wonders as Starmaker and what he defeatedly asks Shax at the beginning of season 2. It strikes me as a very specific flavour of trauma-related existential dread reinforced by his fall and the concept of the ineffable plan.

The thing is that Crowley already knows the answer to that question; it's just not a satisfying one. Because what is the point of it all? of us? of our lives? of all the suffering and the good and the bad and, well, everything?

There is no point. It's a fact you need to come to terms with rather quickly if you grow up traumatized, otherwise, you will break. There was no point in Crowley falling, just as there's no point in anything he or Aziraphale did over the last few millennia—they just are.

It's why any meta questions focusing on God won't get anywhere, there is no answer God would ever offer us or them; there is no answer that matters, period. Maybe God has one, maybe they don't, but it has zero effect on the story or what happens to them. It's terrifying, in a way, to think about it like this, because if there's no point to any aspect of our lives, why bother? Why bother when there are so many horrible things that could happen?

And THAT is where we come all the way back around to Crowley's optimism. He has long accepted the lack of answers (though I can tell you from personal experience that you never really stop asking anyway), but he needs to find a way to live with the world as it is.

'Everything's going to be fine sooner or later' isn't optimism; it's what you need to tell yourself to not jump in front of the next train.

Crowley's optimism is dreams. Dreams of him and Aziraphale being happy and together, dreams of their cottage in the south downs, dreams of heaven and hell never touching them again.

Dreams of life turning out to be better than what he is currently living.

From the outside, it can certainly look like optimism, but I see him, I am him, and I can guarantee you that it's not. It's a tiny pinprick of light in an otherwise dark sky that may or may not be actually there, but if you stop telling yourself that it exists, there's nothing left but darkness. You're afraid of the dark and its teeth because you have been bitten by them before.

So you keep repeating it over and over and over, and maybe one day it will no longer be a lie or you will be the light, but for now this is what you got.

It is also the reason why Crowley is going to be a wreck in season 3. Finally, he thought, we can be together and happy, and in love without being afraid. He reached for the pinprick of light, thinking it to be a star, and got ripped apart by sharpened teeth instead. Crowley needs that lie, and he just got completely disillusioned.

What's the point when, after everything, Aziraphale still leaves him?

No matter how much they love each other, Crowley needs to find an answer to that question within himself, not in Aziraphale or anyone else.

[sukinapan]

teenage edgy atheist me would be SO mad at me being into religious symbols and concepts now lmao

i've been thinking a lot about how religion affected me deeply despite my family never being particularly insistent on it... like most people in my circles, i grew up as watered-down catholic. nobody was going to church or reading the bible, but we'd go to people's babies' baptisms, I'd chant a guardian angel prayer my grandma taught me every night, and despite my school being secular, we had an optional "religion" (catholic) period in elementary which most of our parents signed us up for.

i've heard horror stories from people who went to actually religious schools, run by nuns or priests, but this was different. my impression is that the school system never took this religion class too seriously, so there wasn't really a specific curriculum to be followed. the teachers would rotate constantly, and there was 0 consistency to the kind of activities we did. we'd dance and sing songs and play games, and then a teacher would pull a written test out of nowhere. the result being i was never properly explained the basics of it.

i was born catholic by default so i had to somehow know what a sin was already (the word sin in spanish sounds almost like "fish": pecado and pescado, so i spent YEARS believing "sinner" was some sort of fisherman metaphor), i never understood what use jesus's death had or why pilatus "washed his hands". i knew adam and eve were not supposed to be taken as real but then why was the rest of the bible? i was immersed into this strange lore that i couldn't make sense of and nobody was interested in explaining it in detail.

the only devout person i knew was my grandma. she was never the hateful discourse type nor did she go around spouting lore that would help me understand. like many women she was just very devoted to a benevolent god and to the virgin mary as a mother figure (i remember a prayer saying "mary, mother of god" and i was confused af since hadn't god created her?).

i'm not entirely sure where my fear came from. i remember my mom just once or twice mentioning god, she was probably just annoyed at me, and said god was going to punish me for whatever i was doing. and i took that SO seriously. i'd also always assumed hell was some sort of temporary place where you just had to repent for a while. i mentioned it once in the car and my dad calmly clarified that no, hell was forever. i was devastated. i became convinced that i was somehow evil and used to picture a scene in my mind where a cartoonish devil would appear in my room at night to take me to hell with him.

i eventually grew out of this, thankfully. we had our first communion ritual through the school, i realized it made 0 sense to me and became an edgelord atheist at 11, to my poor grandma's dismay. but i think the fear and the guilt and this idea of being constantly watched and judged still traumatized me a little. years after i'd stopped believing, i continued to whisper "sorry" to the air after doing something wrong.

but my whole point with this, i guess, is that i've found a new appreciation for my experience with religion. i still have a poor opinion of most it, but there's many elements i'm starting to enjoy thinking about. especially the ones pertaining to latin american syncretism, like the focus on the mother figure amidst absent fathers (i guess you could say god is latam's absent father too), loved ones becoming angels that stay around and look out for you, or miracles sprouting from tragedy. i'm also very tormented by death and it's somehow so comforting to make art about it. i really look forward to continue using these elements in the future🧸ྀི໒꒱⋆

[queen0fm0nsterz]

I was thinking about the old LN1 character bios and remembered the line about the Twins being "born to be chefs". Assuming their not native to Nowhere, this would mean they had some violent tendencies before becoming residents, like it was their destiny.

This then made think about the end of tson ep 3 where Otto says the something like "Our world isn't the only world, let alone the predominant one".

All this made me realize that the worlds other than Nowhere may have been created by it (The Nowhere is implied to be sentient in it's own right) specifically to create concepts and injustices that could be used to warp and traumatize children, turning them into visitors and then into residents.

Thoughts?

Alright so this is a great question that I think leads to a much larger discussion about how the Nowhere operates. I would like to hear what other peeps think as well.

So, starting from the Chefs. Personally I always assumed that they are part of that group of characters who are from the Nowhere because of the way their description is worded (and also their baby pictures... this one is so cute lowkey...)

--- But following your train of thought: considering what we know of the Nowhere, it seems to amplify certain characteristics of a person, usually the bad ones. Two kids who are a bit propense to get into fights in the waking world may very well become blood thirsty maniacs in the Nowhere.

Interestingly, the modification of traits does not only apply to personality but also the body -- and usually, the physical changes are in relation back to said traits. For example, the Teacher - someone who is known to be controlling - can extend her neck infinitely to look everywhere and have the ability to blink removed to make sure she's always watching. The Doctor, a perfectionist with tons of authority, is always looking down on people while also growing enormous to match his ego. So on and so forth, you can follow this reasoning for a large number of the Residents we meet.

I think other timelines derivating from the Nowhere is definitely a possibility, as we don't know much of how the universes work there.

The general theory of a multiverse irl is that no timeline has any specific weight or importance over others; they are all parallel no matter how different, with no timeline being "the real one". This is if we view the Nowhere under the lens of it being a separate dimension. In TSON, the Nowhere is kind of implied to be sucking the people most vulnerable to it right in, so perhaps the idea Otto has of it the predominant world stems from the fact that he can't explain his fascination with it... or from a real, genuine desire to somehow "return" to the original land, if that's where the other timelines originated from.

HOWEVER, I would like to offer an alternative perspective on this --- based on what I found out during my research on the Ladies. Yup we're going there again

Rather than the characters themselves, this time I'm going to refer to a symbolism that is very prominent in their lore: Buddhism. More specifically the references to the six planes of existance, and how those can be tied back to Little Nights in a loose way. As stated in this site:

" The six realms of rebirth are a schema in which beings are reborn according to the kind of life they lived. [...] The animal realm, in which inhabitants are driven by basic needs, is one of the three “lower” realms. The other two are the hell realm, a place of constant suffering and torment, and the realm of the hungry ghosts, grasping beings who are never satisfied. The three “higher” realms are the human realm [...] the demigod realm [...] and the god realm, where beings enjoy a life of pleasure. It’s important to note that some Buddhists view the realms as literally real, while others interpret them psychologically as metaphors for the emotional states of the human condition. "

(Click on the link to read the whole thing; I only highlighted the parts I think are relevant to this conversation :] )

What I believe specifically relates back to the Nowhere are the three lower realms, from which the place itself may be loosely inspired by because of how its inhabitants are described.

All of these are things we see in Little Nights from various Residents, depending on the social class and place. It is important to note that while these realms are placed in different hierarchies due to quality of life, they all cohexist together without necessarily being more important than each other as they all have the same purpose in the end.

If the worlds of Little Nights operate in a similar way, then what we're looking at is not really a case of dimension hopping, but rather a passage from a plane of existance to the next. A forced one at that, at least in the case of Noone.

Now, considering Otto's assumption, the idea of the Nowhere being a predominant realm only popped up because he was trying to wrap his head around it and how Noone felt, but to tell you the truth, it is a rather baseless assumption considering he's never been there and is only experiencing it in a very limited way. However... considering how many children from different places in time and space have experienced the Nowhere, sometimes even simultaneously, I wouldn't say that it's completely wrong to assume that the place might be the "original plane of existance".

Now. Reflecting on what you said at the very end, I would like to ask a question back: do you think the Nowhere is, hypothetically, only capable of bringing out the worst in people inherently? Or is it only acting this way because humanity itself is more easily conditioned to fall victim to their bad traits?

I've been recently thinking about it because of the Maw. The writer of Little Nightmares, Mr. Mervik, has stated multiple times over the years that the place has not always been the way that it is; at the same time, he also said that it was not man made, but rather created by collective hunger/desire to be fed. These two things don't make sense together unless you assume the Maw was not originally born for the Guests and the whole cannibal business, but rather from a desire of shelter. A need to be fed. Which is not inherently a bad thing -- and it would explain why the structure itself is so largely built to house so many people, and why children still feel relatively safe in it to this day.

So I find myself thinking that perhaps, the Maw degenerated overtime because the people inside of it (cough its leaders cough) did. And if this is the case for the Maw, who's to say it's not the same for other places? The Nest, for example? The School, the Hospital... etc. But. It is also true that the creatures who inhabit the Nowhere (the Ferryman, the North Wind, the Flesh...) all seem to have their own interests and destructive amusement more at heart than anything. If these creatures are what move the large of the Nowhere (which I guess they are considering the eye symbol is all over the goddman place), then the human will can't really do much.

That being said, I am wondering currently if it could be possible for the Nowhere to bring out something good from a person in the right situation. At the same time, the hopes are incredibly slim. Nonexistent, actually, but it's nice to think about hypothetics.

[chemblrish]

How I survived pchem

So, the time has come: you have to take physical chemistry in uni. Hell's favorite, the most terrifying of nightmares, the source of emotional damage for hundreds of science students worldwide... Or so they tell you. There's no denying pchem is no field of flowers, but I managed to pass the numerical part with a 4/5 and the theoretical part with a 5/5, so let me just say - pchem is definitely passable. Here's some of my advice.

Go to class

Seriously. I know all of studyblr always tells you to go to class, but with pchem I mean it more than ever. Don't skip lectures. Go see the way your professor links the concepts and explains the necessary math. Please. It'll save you so much hassle!

Abuse office hours

And don't hesitate to ask questions in class. Lab partner and I would stay after lectures to ask our professor extra questions or go see him in his office several times during the semester and it always paid off. They won't be mad! They're here for you! Chances are, they'll be happy a student is invested in their subject.

Be consistent

I cannot stress this enough: consistency is everything. Do not leave studying for a test/exam until the last minute. If you can cram pchem at all, that's impressive. But I don't think you can cram it well. Go over your lecture notes the same day - with a textbook, so that you can fill in the gaps in your understanding of the given topic - it does wonders for comprehension and retention.

Do practice problems

And if you get mandatory exercise sets you need to complete for class, try to do more than that. Looking at somebody's solution and thinking "yeah I see what's going on here" isn't enough. If you aren't able to solve similar exercises by yourself, from scratch, you don't actually understand the topic.

Make friends with a good textbook

Ideally, your professor should be the one to recommend textbooks and exercise books. If they don't, ask! Personally, aside from some Polish textbooks, I read Atkins religiously. The textbook is great. The exercise book is a lifesaver - the answer key has complete, step-by-step solutions *cries in joy*

Understand the material thoroughly

Don't just skim through the chapters - see how every new concept is "stacked" on top of the previous ones and how it complements them (why do we need the second law of thermodynamics? Why is the first one not enough? Why is entropy defined as heat over temperature and not work over temperature if both heat and work are a way to transfer energy?). Similarly, don't just memorize formulas!! See where they come from. Derive them yourself, identify the steps that are unclear and try to understand what happens there.

Less fear, more curiosity

All right, pchem is hard, pchem is demanding, sure. But pchem is also fun. Pchem is fascinating, pchem is beautiful! The intersection of sciences! The chemistry you're already familiar with translated into the universal language of mathematics! Nature explained at a molecular level! Look. Everybody told me pchem would traumatize me, so I decided to prove them all wrong. I tried to approach it with as much enthusiasm as I could and it worked! Yes, I absolutely had to work my butt off in this class, but I enjoyed it! Please, try to do the same.

Additional resources

The organic chemistry tutor - physics (yt)

Professor Derricotte (yt)

Physical chemistry (yt)

The chemistry library - physical and theoretical chemistry

Have fun and good luck!! 🍀💖

[alexas-fandom-and-random-blog]

I need to get it out of my chest so here's some Striker theories/speculations fandom has come up with that I heavily dislike and why.

Striker has some royalty blood from one parent or both.

Oh God that would suck so much if it became canon cause it absolutely defeats the purpose of his character so far, that of being a lower class imp hating royals with valid reasons even if his actions are violent and sadistic.

As he is he has such an interesting antagonistic role in the story and offers a bunch of good lines directly opposing and questioning the heroes values, choices and morality.

His mere presence and open bashing of the upper class is just good social commentary! If his hatred stems from a combination of his narcissistic nature and bitterness that being born an imp (even mixed or hybrid) robs him from ascending further into the social ladder or even if he survived a traumatic encounter with a royal as its implied and it's fuelled by anger or a combo of all those things all are good for telling a compelling story! All can be done in very interesting ways!

But making him yet another character tied closer to royalty than just being a random person that got screwed over is honestly an underwhelming concept.

Getting screwed over for no good or justified reason should be common with Hell's racist and classist system as its been presented so far and we should get confirmation of that instead of having Striker added to the trend of each of the main characters having special connections with higher ups. It's not only redundant at this point but would make his motivation and social commentary that much weaker.

I swear if it just becomes another daddy or mommy issue imma rage quit so fast!

Striker is half shark demon

His sound design is explicitly constantly emulating the noises a rattlesnake makes. Since he's most likely a hybrid and he says to Blitzo how they are "superior to most of our kind" he's definitely part imp. So we got two halves and we got snake demon and imp, so it's basically covered? lol I don't know how this theory became so popular😅

He doesn't even look close to the design of the other sharks

he only looks like Chaz a little bit.

And lots of characters share similar characteristics like that snout.

This one had some merit with the ringed eyes and imma be real I haven't noticed those elsewhere but like even if he had a grandpa shark what purpose would that serve?

Bah I just don't like it. Let the man be a slimy snake! Its more unique and it suits him better!

Striker is asexual cause he got grossed out by sex jokes

No...just no..

To be clear you could totally read him as asexual! But the reason being the damn sex jokes is giving me whiplash. Striker got flustered and frustrated at best cause the timing of each sex joke was inappropriate as all hell and cause everyone did it as he tried to be intimidating and threaten/kill them. If anything they were bruises to his ego not any indication to his libido.

But like... In all seriousness asexual confirmation deserves more than a reaction to sex jokes.

Hellaverse does it better with Alastor. In his case it does tie in with his sexuality.

Same goes with all the theories that he's homophobic too.

He did the sexy villain thing trying to seduce Blitzo like so explicitly and smiled when Blitzo called it hot then! What are you talking about?

Different situation, more receptive to sexual undertones and instigating them too. That's what I'm trying to say!

And again. Asexual reading can apply. But it can't be just the sex jokes alright?!😭

(yeah yeah it's a joke on itself. still valid I get it.)

Striker is related to Crimson and Moxxie.

Oh this one is the worst one and absolutely gives me a heart attack and thank goodness for the crew's soft confirmation that they aren't via strixxie fanart cause no joke I'd cry since its my favourite ship!

It's just similar horns!!! Striker was designed as a mix between Moxxie and Blitzo and that's the only reason why!

Striker also had sexual tension with Blitzo on screen are you gonna tell me they are related too cause he was designed with half of him in mind?

I hate this theory so much.

Granted purely for shipping reasons but holy shit it got popular and I hated that!

I've had enough with turning every ship into potential incest just cause and harassing fans over it!

Got such "Fizz and Blitzo are siblings" deja vu😬

Ahem...

Anyways yeah that's all.

To end it more positively I love the snake man! Didn't spot him on the trailer but still hope we see him in the upcoming episodes🥺

Preferably doing shit like this and traumatizing everyone lmao! (with no godawful statue jokes in sight thank you very much)

[lavendeerlesbian]

We get the bare minimum of people acknowledging we exist that's not pandering. Literally all most of us want is access to medical care and the right to live our lives without violent threats or harassment. Of course there are shitty trans people, there are shitty people in every group whether they're marginalized or not. No one should be harassed for just trying to live their lives, but every fucking day I have to have someone remind me that they think I should commit suicide and they think it's fucking hilarious. Some celebrities saying "trans rights" isn't helping my safety, medical care, or material existence.

"Bare minimum of people acknowleding we exist" and yet every major company acknowledges and accepts trans people (and if you disagree you can be fired), every job application now asks for your gender identity and acknowledges nonbinary identities, women's DV shelters are forced to accept transwomen or else risk facing defunding and being shut down despite the fact that most women there are traumatized and need space away from male people, males are legally allowed to go into women's restrooms and sports and prisons where they assault and rape female inmates and staff, and y'all are also allowed to undergo "gender affirming care" despite the fact that it violates the hippocratic oath and is not safe. Hell, many insurances will even cover the cost of transition so either you're lying or you're misinformed. Literal children having some restrictions being placed on transition doesn't count, as children aren't allowed to make many other life altering decisions and you don't complain about those (no smoking, no drinking, no tattoos, etc.). And I haven't even gotten into how the trans movement is inherently homophobic as y'all are trying to redefine homosexuality as "same gender attraction" and call any actual homosexual person a "transphobic bigot and genital fetishist" in much the same fashion as homophobic conversion therapists. Literally the guy who came up with the concept of gender identity, John Money, was a pedophile who did sexual experiments on twin boys which eventually caused both of them to commit suicide. Look it up. Also look up Alan Turing and the Aversion Project.

It's not just "some assholes", your entire movement is built on trampling on the rights of women and LGB people.

I'm sure you genuinely see yourself as a victim because you have been told BY OTHER TRANS PEOPLE that trans people will commit suicide if they don't get affirming care instead of just better mental health resources. You know what LGB activists told gay children? "It gets better", not "Affirm gay kids or they'll kill themselves". Like. Doesn't that rub you the wrong way at all? Why are your activists encouraging children to kill themselves?

Acknowledging reality is not oppression, either. Even radfems acknowledge that you exist and that you identify as trans, but the reality is men cannot become women and vice versa. Also, radical feminism the ideology has nothing to do with suicide baiting people, so if radfems have actually told you to kill yourself on the basis of you being trans (doubt) then I want to see receipts.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Okay so a thing that has bothered me ever since I first watched Chat Blanc was Bunnyx and the general time travel stuff because tghis makes no sense. In the Chat Blanc time line, after Chat Blanc destroyes the universe, everyone is dead. Including adult!Alix aka Bunnyx. So the Bunnyx fron the Chat Blanc timeline doesn'rt exist anymore, meaning that the Bunnyx fron the episode is from a parallel timeline where Chat Blanc didn't destroy the universe. That however raises the question why she would even care about that other timeline. Is her quest to assure victory over Monarch in every single timeline because that sounds exhausting as hell. I also don't understand the deal with her leg disappearing while she witnesses the fight between LB and CB, it has no reason to, because LB defeating CB doesn't have any effect on Bunnyx because, as stated earlier, the Bunnyx from that timeline is already dead! And honestly, the fact that Lb even had to fight CB makes no sense. They could've just went back in time 2 minutes so LB can erase her name from the letter (or just be quicker so Adrien doesn't see her) and CB doesn't happen in the first place!

Like, genuine question, what was the point of the whole thing? I mean other than the concept is cool and the writers wanted to give LB trauma (which never really plays a significant part in the overall story anyway??)

Sorry for rambling so much, I don't know if this makes any sense, the episode was really confusing to me and idk if it's just because the episode actually doesn't make sense or because I just don't understand it bc time travel is really confusing. Would really love to hear your opinion!

You're fine and you're not missing a thing. The episode simply doesn't make sense nor am I sure why it even exists. I know a lot of people love it, but I really don't get the hype. It runs off of nonsense logic and makes most of the characters look really bad.

Let's start with the lore.

The canon lore is that Bunnyx only travels through time, not universes, so it makes no freaking sense that an adult Bunnyx would be able to stop Chat Blanc since the existence of Chat Blanc should stop her from existing. It's a total paradox that goes against everything we'd been told about her powers. Of course, she's also supposed to be the hero of last resort, yet we hear about her hanging out with famous historical figures and the season five final sees her acting as a substitute for the horse miraculous even though the people she portals in don't do a thing to help with the final battle, so it's not like Chat Blanc is the only time her powers and role get ignored. Any time I use the rabbit, I have to completely rework its lore because canon is just so bad at time travel. I like Alix and her adult design is awesome, but any time Bunnyx shows up, I expect to be annoyed.

Also, I will never forgive her for just dumping Ladybug back in our time without so much as a word of encouragement or any reassurance that the Chat Blanc stuff was only a maybe. And Ladybug was the one to figure out how to fix time!!! Alix, you suck at your job! Or this is just another case of the writers refusing to let someone other than Marinette save the day even though the poor girl really needs a day off.

As for why this episode exists? I don't even know, dude. It makes no sense. Back when we thought it was going to be a driving force in the season four conflict - an assumption that was backed up by Marinette's nightmare in sentibubbler - the episode kinda made sense in spite of its flaws. But we're two seasons past Chat Blanc and the only person who is apparently traumatized by it is Adrien.

Yes, the writers actually said this. No, you didn't miss an episode where Adrien learned about Chat Blanc. They were talking about the nightmares from the final:

Mélanie says that he "could become Chat Blanc" and the others add that even though he does not remember and has never lived it, Chat Blanc still has an influence on his actions.

Yes, this is embarrassingly bad writing. The character who never saw or even heard of Chat Blanc is somehow the one who is traumatized and effected by it while Marinette's trauma has nothing do to with Chat Blanc or the events of the season four final. Instead, it's random BS that was never even hinted at until season five. I just... what?

In case it wasn't obvious - which I guess it isn't given that professional writers missed this - the logical way to write this to have the season four conflict be about Chat Blanc from Ladybug's side. After the conflict ends, she reveals everything to Chat Noir who becomes terrified of hurting people with his powers. This is only exacerbated by the events of Destruction. But then the show would have had to let Chat Noir have a character arc that didn't revolve around Ladynette and the series seems allergic to that as a concept, so instead Adrien gets magical trauma that keeps him from the final fight. And I thought the Derision retcon was bad!

Other issues with Chat Blanc in no particular order:

It cements Nathalie as just as bad a Gabriel since she's the one who tells him Adrien's secret identity and we then see her do nothing to try to protect Adrien.

It makes Gabriel irredeemable by showing him gleefully hurting his child. Dude punts his son across the city with a smile on his face!

It makes Adrien look slimy since he asks Marinette out without telling her that he knows her secret identity. This one is in a bit of a grey area for me because the secret identity stuff is complicated, but Adrien has never been the one who cared about secret identities AND he's the one who has been directly turned down in hero form. The episode takes none of that into consideration with its writing and it really needed to for Adrien to feel like he had a valid point of view here. As is, he's taking advantage of a situation and putting his Lady love at risk for his own wants.

The pillow sniff scene makes Marinette look unhinged.

It spits in the face of The Power of Love by having Adrien's love fail to be enough to stop him from killing Marinette.

Marinette's parents should have gotten involved after Gabriel threatened her. There is no way in hell that I'd let my kid go over to the Agreste mansion after that. If the writers were once again determined to not let Tom and Sabine parent, then the threat should have come when Marinette was alone.

Why did Ladybug even need to go to the future if Bunnyx could have just gone back in time and stopped Ladybug from leaving the present for Adrien? Why did Chat Blanc even need to be defeated? What did Ladybug's ladybug actually fix when she cast her charm?

This is minor, but it bothers me: Chat Noir should not have been smiling and happy when he was freed from his akuma. That boy should have been in the middle of a breakdown.

I know people forgive some of the above because Chat Blanc is sort of an AU and I'm not going to say that's wrong, I just can't look at it that way because there's nothing that sets Chat Blanc apart from the normal timeline. The Paris special gives us an AU. Chat Blanc (and Ephemeral) are what the writers told us would happen in the canon timeline if Gabriel ever discovered his son's secrets. Canon Gabriel was the one doing those things and would have done them again if given the chance. This is who the writers said he is. Same goes for all the other characters who come across less than stellar here.

There's a reason why I love a good Chat Blanc rewrite. It's an idea with a lot of potential, but canon capitalizes on almost none of it.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 1 thoughts

here we goooooo!

(i started to imagine the sound of a really long and celebratory air horn to commemorate starting s2... but then that mental sound was awful so we ended that pretty quick)

it opens with mulder providing some gentle asmr about aliens and space with a thinly disguised undercurrent of rage in his voice, nice...

he starts talking about a guy named "richard bryan" cutting an alien survey program and that is such a generic name i figured they made it up for the show. and wrote "haha wouldn't it be funny if that was a real guy. and they made this whole episode just to mess with him."

chat. you're never gonna believe this. richard bryan was real and he did in fact cut the alien program. how do you think he felt being name dropped here? neeeeed to get his side of the story

(they also talk about the voyager a bit here which is really cool i won't lie)

now, what has our duo been up to in the time away from the x files? mulder is listening to men talk about lap dances and spitting sunflower seeds... i am not surprised here... all in the name of Research...

but scully is teaching at the academy!!! oh this delighted me to no end!

she starts getting emotional over the concept of a life being contained within tissue and her student is like "you sound spooky" ha. ha. i see what they did there. mulder you're a terrible influence.

they run into each other and she is so happy to see him but he totally blows her off! i was so sad!!!!

AUGH HE HAS HIS SISTER'S PHOTO ON HIS NEW DESK. aughhh man hold on. hold on.

scully is waiting outside watergate (wild they hadn't rebranded at that point tbh) for a shadowy figure and it is mulder! a very cranky and tired looking mulder! he's like we shouldn't be meeting, what do you need me for.... omg rude??

"so what did you want?" "to see if you're alright" (sound of me being sucked into emotional quicksand rapidly)

to answer her question of "are you okay" he begins to ramble about telescopes which is very in character

he says he saw deep throat's funeral but i remain suspicious....

the x files project being shut down has destroyed the man we used to know as mulder! he says that he isn't even sure if what happened to his sister is real anymore! they killed his spirit! "seeing isn't enough... i need solid evidence. i learned that from you" HEY OUCH?????

he's on the ground filled with a deep sadness and she runs her fingers through his hair, at which point i made this note: "y'all i'm only on season 2 i can't do this. i'm gasping so aggressively my mouth is hurting" so safe to say that i will be in for a hell of a ride moving forward... keep me in ur thoughts

baby fox flashback! we see his sister's abduction, which is obviously supposed to be very heavy and traumatic but i was laughing at the skinny little alien throwing her through the window lmaooo i love you 90's cgi <3

PAUSE. we see mulder waking up in a cold sweat from reliving his worst memory. but i see something new in the background: a fish tank in his room. this is a striking development that shall not slip by unnoticed.

and then some guy bursts into his room? and takes him to "the hill" to meet with a politician, who keeps calling him fox? who says they're being listened to? and tells him he needs to go to puerto rico where they're hiding evidence?

(tbh that sequence raised a lot more questions than it answered but i did love that mulder can name the bach piece that is being played because of his college music class lol)

SKINNER MENTIONED!!!! okay i figured out who he is: he's the one with the glasses and the fancy desk and the sidekick who is ALWAYS smoking. glad to have a name to the face. like yeah he was there last season but i had other things to focus on i guess.

cutscene to mulder lounging in a truck bed in puerto rico. niiiice. climbing compilation- niiiiiiice. and busting things open? hell yeah niiiiice

gasp... scully broke into his place (which i think is an entirely new set? or at least from a different angle. but um. okay i'll try and ignore that. but can anyone confirm or deny...?)

anyway she puts her glasses on and slips into password guessing mode and succeeds... i would have thought the FBI would keep tighter passwords on their personal devices than "trustno1" but hey maybe he did that so she could strategically break in!

and some dudes bust in and ask why she's here so she's like ummm i feed the fish lol.....

(and then she refuses to endanger the fish by overfeeding them because that's the type of person she is... and if it provides cover for sneaking out something printed from his computer well that's just a bonus!)

back to puerto rico!! guy in the bathroom reveal!!! mulder cannot speak spanish (smh mulder you were supposed to be the humanities one) but the dude draws a picture of an alien so i guess that proves that art is a universal language <3

scully is taking his paper she printed to some guy to analyze idk her freckles were distracting me again. sorry. NOT! i refuse to apologize. not during june.

(but she goes through some flight records and sees his alias and realizes where he's going and follows)

again, back to puerto rico! our new friend jorge is running for his life into a storm so our patient pal mulder naturally runs after him. into the jungle. and ohhhh jorge is dead now? that was quick.

he does a DIY autopsy on jorge while speaking into the voice recorder- which he addresses as "scully", while sounding like he is going to get sick, kicking things, sweating profusely, and doubting himself. hell yeah baby this is tv! i wanna see that man in situations!

"before i could only trust myself, now i can only trust you, and they've taken you away from me... my life up until this point has been about seeing her again, but what would i do if they really came?"

(now the first part of that is WILD. they've taken you away from me. that phrasing... also, they have successfully gotten the man to doubt his entire existence. sneaky little fbi trick there, making "trust no one" include himself)

BUT the skinny legend aliens return and he is brought back to his sense quickly. he gave it a good go (shot at it a bunch of times) but weirdly the gun didn't fire... probably a good thing. imagine the complications to alien diplomacy that would create!

he wakes up on the floor to scully explaining who she is and asking if he remembers her. he bolts awake, grabs her shoulders, and says that it was the same alien that took his sister. she is already deeply concerned when he then kicks aside a dead body and says we have to analyze it and her face in this moment was delightful. it was very much giving "mulder you're scaring me" just with the eyes

she has to make him realize they can't smuggle a body back to the states OR any of the paperwork really so he just grabs an audio thing that was clearly a better choice. but i want to know how he thought they were gonna get jorge out of there. because the alien hunters were coming to kill him and speed is hard enough for alive people.

"evidence doesn't matter if you're dead!" -dr. dana scully

they crash their way through the jungle, getting shot at and generally destroying what i'm sure is a very important ecosystem but still. they made it out! sorry to the environment </3

mulder gets called into skinner's office (i know that guy's name now!!! i'm so proud) and yelled at for blowing off his case work... and cigarette sidekick is also yelling at him but skinner kicks ciggy man out... is he... an ally? he tells him to go back to work on the job mulder finished like 2 weeks ago...... okay so what i'm seeing here is a boss who is willing to let a man pursue his passions

at the very end we see our duo reunited and it appears the audio he smuggled out of puerto rico had nothing recorded on it!

she tries to encourage him and he seems to be doing better: "i may not have the x files, scully, but i still have my work... (looong pause) and i still have you... (looong pause) and i still have myself" <- okay so looks like we're getting our boy back!!! who cheered?! meee!

he returns to the recording of men discussing strippers and she grasps his hand and then leaves him to his task...

BUT! the minute she leaves, he puts the first audio file back on and it seems to be working now... so why didn't he want her to know???

what is going on!!! i thought "trust no one" would logically mean mulder not trusting himself, but to not trust scully? well, this is madness! what have they done to the man?!

i suppose i will have no choice but to stay tuned and see if his mental state improves a bit with the return of the aliens...

i was really excited to start s2 and i took a lot of notes even for me LMAO some of which i cut out because it would take me forevvvver to capture all of my thoughts in even more detail than i have here but-

as the kids say: we are sooooooo back baby!!!!

[kalena-henden]

Shows I finished in 2024 so far...

A Good Day to be a Dog - A woman accidentally kisses her co-worker and turns into a dog during the night due to a family curse. She has to get her co-worker to kiss her as a dog to break stay human full-time or she will permanently remain a dog after 100 days. The first two-thirds were fun hijinks and a cute romance. The final third with the past life curse origin was a drag. Still upset the mountain god didn't apologize after wrongly punishing the wrong people due to his misunderstanding.

My Demon - A high powered business woman becomes entangled with a deal-making demon when she saves him and his powers transfer to her. This show stole plot heavily from shows like Goblin and Doom at Your Service and failed to do make those concepts their own. However, I still enjoyed it to the end, mostly due to the chemistry between the leads. They had such a fun and lively relationship.

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract - A Joseon-era bride who is widowed on her wedding day is transported to the future where she falls for a man who looks exactly like her dead husband. The story was okay but I was mainly here for the chemistry between the leads.

Fixer Upper: Hotel - Chip and Jo work their magic on an entire hotel. I love seeing the process and the design is beautiful as always.

Memorist - A detective who can see people's thoughts when he touches them teams up with a genius profiler to take down murders. As mysteries unfold and truths are revealed, everything is not as it seems forcing them to confront their traumatic pasts. I binged this in 4 days. The first half is dark but, just when I thought I had the villains pegged, the story opens up to explore the various sides of people to reveal the good, the bad, and the morally grey. I'm still thinking about this months later. I especially loved our detective/profiler team. I really want to rewatch.

Be Melodramatic - This a satire on the entertainment industry, grief, motherhood, and love that is done with 100% deadpan humor which is why I thought the concepts were interesting but fell flat due to not connecting with the humor. This took me almost 9 months to finish.

Death's Game - A man kills himself and then is given 12 chances to survive in someone else's body or he will be sent to hell. It's an anti-suicide version of A Christmas Carol. It was okay. While a host of great actors shine in their guest roles, it was maddening that the man didn't seem to learn along the way until the last body. Where the story ended felt like a copout. If this were a movie where you don't have much time, I would understand, but I wanted to see what would happen next. We needed just one more episode.

Marry My Husband - A woman with terminal cancer is murdered by her husband and best friend who were having an affair, when she is transported back in time before she was married to change her fate and find the love she deserves. This was such a great revenge story. Some of the best villains in kdramaland. A cute romance with a man who adores her. Real friendships. And the OSTs will stick with you.

Queen of Divorce - It started off okay but went downhill quickly. Honestly, such a waste of a great cast.

Daisy Jones & The Six - An interesting look at a fictional 70s rock band as they rise to the top before flaming out. I had listened to the audiobook but I liked the series better.

Doctor Slump - Two young doctors who were academic rivals in high school find themselves grappling with depression and fall in love as they heal together. This was a solid, even keel show for me. I enjoyed their healing journey and their romance.

Live Your Own Life - An outcast chaebol whose parents died in a mysterious car crash falls for his hardworking trainer who needs to learn to become independent from her family. I watched this 50-episode family drama for Ha Joon. There were some interesting things that kept me watching but it was just okay.

Princess Hours - The crown prince and a young artist, who are both high school seniors, navigate the complexities of an arranged marriage and court politics in modern day Korea. This was a really interesting study in how people can change and grow and fall in love as they grapple with the expectations of a nation. It's an old school kdrama and alot is meant to be inferred. It's almost as much about what is not shown or said as much as what is which was frustrating at times. However, when someone explained things, everything started to click for me and I saw all the things that were implied increasing my enjoyment.

Wedding Impossible - A gay chaebol asks his best friend to marry him to hide his sexuality from everyone. His brother who wants him to marry someone else for his own good decides to break them up by seducing his brother's fiance. It's a ridiculous premise with a fun, bickering enemies to lovers couple. It lags a bit in the last part but I still enjoyed this romance. Moon Sang Min is a new fave.

High School King of Savvy - A high school hockey player is asked by his older brother to pretend to be him at his job as a corporate executive while he investigates something nefarious. The high schooler then has to juggle both school and work life as he unexpectedly falls for his brother's secretary. This is a crazy, age-gap romance with Seo In Guk. The only reason the romance works is because both the leads are so pure hearted and kind. Lee Soo Hyuk is doing his best sexy, self-sabotaging second male lead, who even smiles! It was a bit much but it settled down in the second half and I loved the big found family feel of the cast.

The Smile Has Left Your Eyes - The first half was interesting with many characters’ selfish and dark intentions mixed with a little mystery were set up in contrast to our optimistic, self-sacrificing female lead. However, the second half drowned in major events happening and then being dismissed as if they never happened, multiple secret keepers refusing to tell the secret multiple times an episodes even when asked point blank when the answers could stop so many bad things from happening, and the existential dread I felt about what the big reveal was going to be only for it to completely dismissed. I knew this was a tragedy going in but still I felt angry and exhausted by the end.

Vigilante - A police university student decides to take the law into his own hands after his mother's murderer is let back on the streets to avenge her and other's like her who have been failed by the justice system. A manhunt for him ensues, bringing together an unlikely and at times unhinged group who decides to reveal the truth and bring justice. At 8 episode (six hours total), it felt like it was just starting to gel by the end. Definitely set up for more potential seasons after Nam Joo Hyuk gets out of the military.

Love Me Love Me Voice - A newer voice actor and singer is one day noticed online by her secretive voice acting idol and a whirlwind courtship begins. These are the sweetest, kindest people ever. I love how the dramatic readings and song performances are seamlessly woven into the story. Multiple romances, great friendships, mouthwatering food, and beautiful locals. This is a feel good story of first love.

[soupthatistohot]

an absurdist lens is SUCH a good one to use for bsd i feel like, seeing as how it came about because of the war and so many of bsd's characters were involved in the bsd great war.

what do you think of how the great war in bsd is written looking at it through an absurdist lens

(btw your analyses are so good and interesting i love reading them!!)

Ooh this is a really interesting ask! I'll admit that I don't know much about the great war, but war itself is such an inherently absurd concept. Like, you have some issue with another country/territory, so your conclusion is to start killing each other until one of the parties taps out? It's so weird when you think about it like this.

I think the best thing I can analyze with my current knowledge is Yosano's backstory. Because the soldiers Yosano treated were forced into this never-ending loop of horror and brutality, the war kept going and going, and I think this serves as a commentary on war and its absurdity.

Absurdist storytellers often exaggerate situations that already exist in our real world in order to bring to light just how ridiculous they are. For example, in Kafka's The Metamorphosis, Gregor Samsa wakes up as a gigantic bug, but is more concerned with the fact that he won't be able to attend work and provide for his family than finding an explanation for his circumstances. This is likely commentary on how our capitalist society forces workers to overlook their own physical wellbeing for the sake of attempting to live off of inadequate wages.

In a similar way, Asagiri does this with the concept of war, exaggerating it by forcing this group of soldiers and Yosano into this literal vicious cycle that traumatizes both parties time and time again. Living through the horror of war once is already bad enough, but imagine if you had to do it hundreds of times, wouldn't that be awful? A soldier that's been healed that many times over will have seen many more people die and killed more people than if they just died. Yosano as a nurse has to treat so, so many suffering people, and she's only like 11 at the time. And yet, isn't this what we're doing by forcing generation after generation to fight these wars because of the conflicts we keep making? It makes you question why the idea of a war even exists in the first place.

Even with the current arc we see it. The hunting dogs are military, and they're the villains! Yes, all of them but Fukuchi are misguided, but it's commentary about corruption in systems of power that are supposed to be protecting us. I'd also say Jouno and the satisfaction he derives from torture is probably some sort of commentary on police brutality. Hell, in the latest chapter, we're 30 seconds away from a nuclear warhead destroying Yokohama. If there's one thing that's completely absurd in our modern world, it's nuclear weapons that are literally world-ending.

Anyway! Anon! If you want to tell me more about the war, I'd be happy to try to analyse it based on what information you can give me, but also no pressure. I'm just worried I didn't really answer your question, but I did the best I could! I'm glad you enjoy my silly little rants :)

[lovelaurs]

Please do it I would love to read a fic about freaking Laurence getting his glass prescription or something like that. ( also i head cannon laur has such bad vision and he has to wear grandpa glasses) 

AN EYE FOR DETAIL

featuring : laurance, cadenza, & castor synopsis : cadenza convinces laurance to finally get glasses. but when they arrive for his appointment, something seems a bit off about this optometrist. tags : poor eyesight laurance, eye care, getting glasses, silly shenanigans, traumatized forever word count : 1.3k a/n : as someone who has incredibly bad eyesight and refused to wear my glasses for years, i figured, "hey, why don't i project my issues onto laurance?". well, that's what i did. the man has poor eyesight now. enjoy!

MASTERLIST

“I’m not wearing them, Cadenza!”

Laurance yelled, staring daggers at the pair of glasses within his sister’s hands.

“I mean- just look at it! It’s practically a relic!”

The glasses in question were his Grandfather’s; as they were very ancient looking in appearance. A lot was simply wrong about these spectacles: a slight crack had formed on the left lens, along with the hinges being extremely loose, and not to mention the thing just overall looking like it was from the 1960s.

In short? They sucked.

“Look, Laurance. I wouldn’t have to force you to wear these if you simply just, oh I don’t know, went to the eye doctor?” Cadenza put her hands on her hips, raising her eyebrow at the brunette.

Laurance twitched at the thought.

The eye doctor? Like hell he was going to the Optometrist!

Ever since he got pink eye when he was younger after playing with the pigs on his farm, he had always been afraid of the optometrist. 

When he went in initially for a consultation all those years ago; the tools, lenses, and prescriptions freaked him out. Of course, he only needed eyedrops, so he wasn’t in dire need for any specific treatment, but still… The very idea of it horrified the poor man.

His eyes had always been sensitive.

The smallest eyelash, a drop of water, the slightest amount of soap from the shower; any of these things would easily bring the man to his knees in defeat. Hell, even seeing blurry or smudges through glasses would make his eyes water. 

He was pretty vulnerable.

That is why this man downright refused to get his eyes checked.

The concept of looking through a possibly blurry lens just sends chills up his spine. Even though the action was needed to help prescribe the exact lenses he needed to see better, he just couldn’t bear it.

“I just- I can’t go, alright! That place freaks me out!” Laurance crossed his arms, raising his head in defiance.

Cadenza sighed, pulling out her phone. “If you don’t come with me to get glasses… I’ll text our dads to not allow you to babysit Caleb for a month.”

Laurance gasped dramatically, bringing a hand to his chest. “You wouldn’t dare.”

She flipped her phone over to Laurance, showing him the already typed out message she planned to send to Joh and Hayden. “Try me.”

Within the next hour, the two scheduled an appointment.

About a month later, Laurance was nervously pacing on the sidewalk outside a building named “Castor’s Eye Care”.

The brunette began to bite his nails nervously as Cadenza grabbed her purse from the car, rolling her eyes. She closed the car door behind her before walking up to her brother, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Relax, Laurance. It’ll be fine.”

“You’ll stay with me the whole time, right?”

At that, Cadenza winced. “Well… um…”

Laurance’s eyes widened before he covered his face with his hands. “Oh Irene, you’re leaving me.”

She released his shoulder, shaking her hands. “No, not at all! I’ll still be in the building with you, but I need to get my own reading glasses repaired.”

She started to walk towards the door, until she turned around to find Laurance standing in the same spot. 

“Clock’s ticking, Laurance. Come on!” She looped her arm through his and dragged him along as he groaned.

As they stepped into the bright building, Laurance was immediately overwhelmed by just how many pairs of glasses there were across the walls.

Laurance looked around, his nerves starting to get to him, while Cadenza approached the desk to check them in. The generic pop music playing over the speakers was not helping in the slightest

After making sure they were ready for their appointments, Cadenza sat down on the bench by the window and patted the other side, silently asking Laurance to join her.

He sat down beside her, his leg shaking up and down as he kept his eyes focused on the door. Something in the back of his mind wished that the hinges would break, causing it to shut tight forever.

He never wanted to see beyond that very door.

Unfortunately, life seemed to always go against the poor brunette, as the door swiftly opened to reveal an older man with frizzled hair and a bandana. He looked around, almost confused, before his eyes landed on Laurance.

The man pointed at Laurance sternly, then motioned for him to come over.

Laurance nervously looked at Cadenza who nodded and pushed him out of the chair, causing Laurance to stumble forward. She smiled, speaking through her teeth, “Get your ass in there now or so help me, Laurance.”

With that, Laurance quickly made his way over to the curious looking optometrist, following him into the room.

The man motioned for him to sit on the chair, to which Laurance quietly complied; adjusting onto the leather chair with frantic nerves.

What didn’t help his anxiety were the countless pictures of chickens across the room’s walls.

Why were there so many chickens?

As the somewhat odd man began funneling through the cabinets, seeming to be looking for something, Laurance thought it best to break the tension with some small talk.

“So… how long have you been an eye doctor for?” He asked. He winced at the feedback that came from the song Toxic by Britney Spears playing obnoxiously through the telecom above. 

“Ah, well, only a few weeks! Can you believe how easy it is to get a license in this sort of thing- aha found it!”

What.

As it seemed the man found the tool he was looking for, he whipped around to face Laurance with it in hand.

He was going to die here, wasn’t he?

Laurance tugged at his collar nervously, his leg continuing to bounce. “Wow that’s uh… certainly fast, Mr…?”

“Mr. Castor!”

Oh gods.

The building was named Castor’s Eye Care… this newly graduated doctor had finished his lessons and rented out a building all within the same month.

Laurance silently repeated prayers to Irene in his head as Castor approached, mysterious tool in hand. His eyes seemed to focus too bluntly on the object as Castor followed his line of sight to it. He quickly averted his eyes to one of the many pictures of chickens hanging about.

“Ah, this old thing?” He motioned at the tool. “Don’t worry, there’s nothing to fear! I’ve only been officially certified for a few weeks, but I’ve been doing this sort of thing in the Black Market for years!”

Black Market?! Who the hell allowed this guy to start a business?!

“Now, let’s take a look at those pretty green eyes of yours, shall we?”

His eyes were blue. He couldn’t even tell the color of his eyes– oh my Irene he was done for.

About an hour later, an absolutely horrified Laurance walked out of the room, his eyes blown wide in horror, red veins visible as Dr. Castor gave him a pat on the back.

“You did very well, Laurance! I can’t wait to see you back here to pick up your glasses in a few weeks!”

He has to come back?!

Laurance awkwardly laughed loudly, backing away while giving finger guns to the man. “G-Great! Can’t wait!”

The brunette quickly turned around, his eyes landing on Cadenza who was waiting by the bench, waving. She stood up and put her new glasses case in her purse before approaching Laurance.

“Ah, Laurance! You’re finally done! How was it-”

Without a second thought, Laurance pulled her by the arm and quickly raced out the store. 

When the two made it to their car, Laurance had his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

“Laurance? What’s wrong?”

“Britney Spears. Chickens. Black Market. Crazy.” He panted out the words, taking long pauses between each one. He quickly raised his head, looking Cadenza dead in the eyes.

“I’m never going back there again.”

@lovelaurs, 2024. do not repost this work in any way!

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Why I don't care much about Draco calling Hermione a mudblood

I have stated many times that I don't care much that Draco calls Hermione mudblood across various posts I have written. Now rude Hermione stans will simply say or have simply said I am a misogynist or just a brainless Draco stan and move on feeling morally superior. But I have three very basic reasons why JKR is at fault for me not caring.

Being muggleborne is not a disadvantage

As much as I love Draco, whenever he mocks Ron about his socioeconomic status it bothers me. Partly because I can relate to having a family who financially struggles. But I see how Ron's poverty (the Weasleys should not be poor but that's a different convo) affects him. He gets second-hand clothes. He does not have proper school supplies (eg Charlie's broken wand). He only gets the things he wants when he accomplishes something (getting a broom when he becomes prefect). It has caused him embarrassment. I can probably go on. I feel sorry for Ron.

But how does being muggleborne affect Hermione? Well, there are some cultural concepts she would not know, eg the mudblood slur. However, against all logic, Hermione is the top student even showing up purebloods like Ron who GREW UP in the wizarding world. Besides Draco calling her a mean name, what prejudice does Hermione face?? If anything, she is favoured too much (eg time turners). And then Bella tortures her in book 7...only for Hermione to simply walk it off. After a chandelier fell on her. Wow, I should feel so much sympathy for Hermione! JKR gives me so many feels for Hermione's plight as a muggleborne girl!

I would infer that Hermione's yearning to prove herself with good grades partly stems from being muggleborne but I can't recall if this was an explicit part of her character or something JKR left up to our interpretation. I get the vibe that Hermione was like this even in muggle school.

Muggbleborne discrimination is not the biggest concern

Aside from certain purebloods, the wizarding world treats mugglebornes as regular wizard citizens. There is definitely pureblood favouritism - how the hell is Mr Weasley head of the Muggle Artefacts department over any muggleborne? And JKR is quick to point out muggleborne bigotry. If Lucius or Draco so much as glares at Hermione, we know it.

What's the bigger concern for me is the discrimination that JKR insidiously lets go unchecked. JKR lets her so-called good characters engage in casual bigotry against muggles and magical creatures. She only has one developed muggle family. So any abuse the Dursleys suffer is under the guise of them getting their dues. We see the Order of the Phoenix members have basically no respect for muggles. And it's played as comedy. We see magical creatures have no rights. JKR makes Hermione's elf campaign into a joke. She makes the goblins unpleasant so the readers don't have a bad taste in their mouths when the golden trio betray them.

Hagrid attacks Dudley, a defenceless child, in book 1. Traumatizing this 11-year-old kid for years to come. And the readers are meant to applaud this and/or find this funny.

Compared to the suffering of muggles, Hermione's struggles are nonexistent and hardly worth my time.

It seems to bother Hermione very little

As I mentioned before, Hermione lacked knowledge of certain prejudices. So when Draco called her mudblood, she didn't even know what he meant. And in future interactions, it seems more like an annoyance to Hermione, not something that impacts her self-worth. And that's a good thing! Draco has no power over her! She was never Draco's helpless victim. Good for her! Just because a bully tries to belittle you, it does not mean it has to hurt you.

While that's great for Hermione's mental well-being, it kind of impacts my ability to care too. If Hermione cares little, why should I?

In a nutshell, Draco calling Hermione mudblood means little in the grand scheme of things. It's wrong and Draco should be punished for it (why is Draco not punished for publicly using slurs in a school?). I certainly don't think Draco is in the right for using slurs. But it hardly helps to endear Hermione to me as a reader when it comes to this aspect of Draco's bullying.

[system-of-a-feather]

Another one of those "passing on the notes I learned from my years of therapy and recovery for those to consider as perhaps a cheat code to not learn it in the long and hard way I did" but one of the things that helps the most to unlearn / learn in recovery is that not everything is pathological and not everything pathological has to be "fixed"

The former is simply saying that not every trait and aspect about you has to come from or be sorted into originating from one of your conditions. Sure, maybe something you do is a bit odd and it could be explained by trauma or neurodivergence, but it also just might be a genuine personality quirk and its fine. It doesn't have to be sweated over or looked at in a lens of a mental / medical condition.

As for the latter, the obvious case of this is autism and ADHD - a lot of the traits in those are "pathological" in the sense that they are considered to be specifically due to having a disorder, but a large number of those "pathological" symptoms (like excessive stimming and having intense interests) on their own really don't inherently need to be fixed.

But the other thing is that some pathological trauma behaviors and symptoms can clearly originate from your traumatic childhood and be something that "no normal person would think / do / behave like" and assuming that extreme statement is true, just because a trait / behavior / aspect of how you live developed due to trauma, doesn't mean it has to change. A trait and behavior can be pathological in that sense and - if its not really hurting anyone and if it can be adapted well into your life - it doesn't have to be a problem. Some pathological trauma-developed aspects of your life are deeply intertwined with how you grew up (much like non-trauma aspects) and sometimes they just aren't worth digging up and doing all the processing to 'fix'. This is especially so for the aspects of yourself that developed due to trauma that are semi or even usually adaptive.

You can have behaviors, traits, and views that obviously developed from your past with trauma AND still keep those in your life AND be happy.

I'm mostly saying this because I am once again reflecting on just how much of our life is pretty intense and wild due to the fact that I - a part that was originally meant to be an imaginary friend and fantasy-orientated escapism and source of hope - became host. A lot of how I experience myself and my relationship with the world is weird and there are a lot of experiences I just don't really have in me to process in a "typical" way.

I'd say that there are probably parts that used to be prone to processing the things I can't, but after so many years our systems become structured to support the quirks I have and I think our brain at this point just doesn't really find the demand or interest to restore those aspects for any near-future reason as it largely still serves us.

At some point, maybe we will target them. Maybe they will become more harmful and/or limiting than helpful, but these traits both work for us, work for those around us, and help us and just all in all work very well for us. Yes they are pathological, but not everything pathological has to go.

On top of that, the idea that all pathology has to be fixed and cured to be happy really just isn't true and honestly just stems from a place of pushing this concept of "normal" which.... who the hell supports the narrative and concept of "normal" in 2024 on tumblr dot com

It's okay to be disabled, disordered, neurodivergent, affected long term by trauma, and / or just straight up weird.

Fix what doesn't work in your life, everything else doesn't have to be sweated over.