#when i get busy again this will be a lot harder but shh. few more days of relaxation <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 1 thoughts

here we goooooo!

(i started to imagine the sound of a really long and celebratory air horn to commemorate starting s2... but then that mental sound was awful so we ended that pretty quick)

it opens with mulder providing some gentle asmr about aliens and space with a thinly disguised undercurrent of rage in his voice, nice...

he starts talking about a guy named "richard bryan" cutting an alien survey program and that is such a generic name i figured they made it up for the show. and wrote "haha wouldn't it be funny if that was a real guy. and they made this whole episode just to mess with him."

chat. you're never gonna believe this. richard bryan was real and he did in fact cut the alien program. how do you think he felt being name dropped here? neeeeed to get his side of the story

(they also talk about the voyager a bit here which is really cool i won't lie)

now, what has our duo been up to in the time away from the x files? mulder is listening to men talk about lap dances and spitting sunflower seeds... i am not surprised here... all in the name of Research...

but scully is teaching at the academy!!! oh this delighted me to no end!

she starts getting emotional over the concept of a life being contained within tissue and her student is like "you sound spooky" ha. ha. i see what they did there. mulder you're a terrible influence.

they run into each other and she is so happy to see him but he totally blows her off! i was so sad!!!!

AUGH HE HAS HIS SISTER'S PHOTO ON HIS NEW DESK. aughhh man hold on. hold on.

scully is waiting outside watergate (wild they hadn't rebranded at that point tbh) for a shadowy figure and it is mulder! a very cranky and tired looking mulder! he's like we shouldn't be meeting, what do you need me for.... omg rude??

"so what did you want?" "to see if you're alright" (sound of me being sucked into emotional quicksand rapidly)

to answer her question of "are you okay" he begins to ramble about telescopes which is very in character

he says he saw deep throat's funeral but i remain suspicious....

the x files project being shut down has destroyed the man we used to know as mulder! he says that he isn't even sure if what happened to his sister is real anymore! they killed his spirit! "seeing isn't enough... i need solid evidence. i learned that from you" HEY OUCH?????

he's on the ground filled with a deep sadness and she runs her fingers through his hair, at which point i made this note: "y'all i'm only on season 2 i can't do this. i'm gasping so aggressively my mouth is hurting" so safe to say that i will be in for a hell of a ride moving forward... keep me in ur thoughts

baby fox flashback! we see his sister's abduction, which is obviously supposed to be very heavy and traumatic but i was laughing at the skinny little alien throwing her through the window lmaooo i love you 90's cgi <3

PAUSE. we see mulder waking up in a cold sweat from reliving his worst memory. but i see something new in the background: a fish tank in his room. this is a striking development that shall not slip by unnoticed.

and then some guy bursts into his room? and takes him to "the hill" to meet with a politician, who keeps calling him fox? who says they're being listened to? and tells him he needs to go to puerto rico where they're hiding evidence?

(tbh that sequence raised a lot more questions than it answered but i did love that mulder can name the bach piece that is being played because of his college music class lol)

SKINNER MENTIONED!!!! okay i figured out who he is: he's the one with the glasses and the fancy desk and the sidekick who is ALWAYS smoking. glad to have a name to the face. like yeah he was there last season but i had other things to focus on i guess.

cutscene to mulder lounging in a truck bed in puerto rico. niiiice. climbing compilation- niiiiiiice. and busting things open? hell yeah niiiiice

gasp... scully broke into his place (which i think is an entirely new set? or at least from a different angle. but um. okay i'll try and ignore that. but can anyone confirm or deny...?)

anyway she puts her glasses on and slips into password guessing mode and succeeds... i would have thought the FBI would keep tighter passwords on their personal devices than "trustno1" but hey maybe he did that so she could strategically break in!

and some dudes bust in and ask why she's here so she's like ummm i feed the fish lol.....

(and then she refuses to endanger the fish by overfeeding them because that's the type of person she is... and if it provides cover for sneaking out something printed from his computer well that's just a bonus!)

back to puerto rico!! guy in the bathroom reveal!!! mulder cannot speak spanish (smh mulder you were supposed to be the humanities one) but the dude draws a picture of an alien so i guess that proves that art is a universal language <3

scully is taking his paper she printed to some guy to analyze idk her freckles were distracting me again. sorry. NOT! i refuse to apologize. not during june.

(but she goes through some flight records and sees his alias and realizes where he's going and follows)

again, back to puerto rico! our new friend jorge is running for his life into a storm so our patient pal mulder naturally runs after him. into the jungle. and ohhhh jorge is dead now? that was quick.

he does a DIY autopsy on jorge while speaking into the voice recorder- which he addresses as "scully", while sounding like he is going to get sick, kicking things, sweating profusely, and doubting himself. hell yeah baby this is tv! i wanna see that man in situations!

"before i could only trust myself, now i can only trust you, and they've taken you away from me... my life up until this point has been about seeing her again, but what would i do if they really came?"

(now the first part of that is WILD. they've taken you away from me. that phrasing... also, they have successfully gotten the man to doubt his entire existence. sneaky little fbi trick there, making "trust no one" include himself)

BUT the skinny legend aliens return and he is brought back to his sense quickly. he gave it a good go (shot at it a bunch of times) but weirdly the gun didn't fire... probably a good thing. imagine the complications to alien diplomacy that would create!

he wakes up on the floor to scully explaining who she is and asking if he remembers her. he bolts awake, grabs her shoulders, and says that it was the same alien that took his sister. she is already deeply concerned when he then kicks aside a dead body and says we have to analyze it and her face in this moment was delightful. it was very much giving "mulder you're scaring me" just with the eyes

she has to make him realize they can't smuggle a body back to the states OR any of the paperwork really so he just grabs an audio thing that was clearly a better choice. but i want to know how he thought they were gonna get jorge out of there. because the alien hunters were coming to kill him and speed is hard enough for alive people.

"evidence doesn't matter if you're dead!" -dr. dana scully

they crash their way through the jungle, getting shot at and generally destroying what i'm sure is a very important ecosystem but still. they made it out! sorry to the environment </3

mulder gets called into skinner's office (i know that guy's name now!!! i'm so proud) and yelled at for blowing off his case work... and cigarette sidekick is also yelling at him but skinner kicks ciggy man out... is he... an ally? he tells him to go back to work on the job mulder finished like 2 weeks ago...... okay so what i'm seeing here is a boss who is willing to let a man pursue his passions

at the very end we see our duo reunited and it appears the audio he smuggled out of puerto rico had nothing recorded on it!

she tries to encourage him and he seems to be doing better: "i may not have the x files, scully, but i still have my work... (looong pause) and i still have you... (looong pause) and i still have myself" <- okay so looks like we're getting our boy back!!! who cheered?! meee!

he returns to the recording of men discussing strippers and she grasps his hand and then leaves him to his task...

BUT! the minute she leaves, he puts the first audio file back on and it seems to be working now... so why didn't he want her to know???

what is going on!!! i thought "trust no one" would logically mean mulder not trusting himself, but to not trust scully? well, this is madness! what have they done to the man?!

i suppose i will have no choice but to stay tuned and see if his mental state improves a bit with the return of the aliens...

i was really excited to start s2 and i took a lot of notes even for me LMAO some of which i cut out because it would take me forevvvver to capture all of my thoughts in even more detail than i have here but-

as the kids say: we are sooooooo back baby!!!!

[riswippiesx]

Toji with a reader who basically is Megumi friend. Like Megumi realized how much you two like each other so started to set stuff up for you two to get together. Reader is like a mother to Megumi (since I hc that his bio mom died when he was 2 or 3) and Toji is just loving reader for helping with Megumi. Headcanons please

Love & Care | Toji Fushiguro X Fem! Reader

Theme: Fluff

TW: a lil bit of cursing, ooc toji(????) maybe..as I didn't want to make him a brat here, age gap, reader is in her early 20s and Toji is in his 40s, not proof read[because I'm lazy asf]

Summary: headcanons for Toji X reader where reader is a friend of Megumi with motherly vibes.

Note: I am not really a Toji stan..okay?😭 I NEVER read any Toji fic in my life. Never. This was all so new for me. I tried to stick to the character as much as I could in the given scenario. Please don't mind :(💗

•You missed a very important class at your university and you needed a notes, immediately. Thus you ended up visiting your friend, Megumi, at his place, for the notes. Thus you met his dad, Toji Fushiguro. And what a sight! What a man! You couldn't look away.

•Toji just came back and you were leaving after taking your notes and BANG! You bumped into a person who felt like rock because of his well physic. You looked up, only to find your friends dad. You saw him on Megumi's phone but never in real life. "Kid, watch where you are going!", Toji groaned and looked down at you "also who are you?". "I-", you started to utter but Megumi finished it for you "My friend, dad, her name is Y/n." Toji did a little hum and gave you place to leave. You gave a nod with a little smile and left.

•You came back home, freshened up and decided to go through the notes but your mind refused to focus. All you could think how handsome that older man was. Your breath hitched and a weird feeling strated to grow in you.

•And all that grew harder with each passing day. You longed to see that man in person, once again. And your wish came true when your friend fell sick and took a few days off. You, being the responsible one, decided to help him with the notes.

•You went to your friends house. You finally met his dad again. You greeted him formally and he greeted you back. Your heart danced in joy. Then you went to Megumi's room and saw him laying down on his bed with an ice bag on top of his forehead. He looked really sick. You kept the notes on his desk and walked near him and sat on the chair beside the bed.

•Megumi was coughing and breathing heavily. The high fever was making him feel dizzy but he recognised you.

"You shouldn't... Have come..you will catch cold too..idiot..", he breathed out.

"Shh, don't talk much. Relax."

"Tsk"

Your friend was like that, refused to take help but you always loved to help him, you loved taking care of him.

You took the ice bag off as the ice was melted already. You saw a bowl of water and a piece of cloth in it on the bed side table. You kept the ice bag on the and damped the cloth and rinsed out the excess water. Then you put it on his forehead and ran your hand through his hairs, soothing him down. And it actually relaxed him. Your offered him some water when he coughed a lot. You were busy in taking care of your friend when Toji came and stood by the door, which you didn't notice. He observed how you took care of his son.

"You take care of him like a mother." His sudden voice made you startled and you looked back to find him standing there. He had a smile on his face and you felt like you could die then happily. "Oh..yeah..haha", an awkward and nervous laugh came out of your throat with a faint tint of red on your cheeks.

•And that whole thing made you and Toji interact more. Slowly a bond was forming between you two. Both of your scolded Megumi when he was going extra harsh on himself for studies and didn't take care of him. Megumi often rolled eyes at the strict scolding but he could feel something in the air. He was smart. He was quick to catch the real scenario when he found you chatting with your dad and laughing. He also noticed how conscious you got around his dad or by the mention of his name. The faint blush, little chuckles, small glances— he noticed it all.

•You were in love with his dad —Megumi easily understood that. If it was anyone else other than you, maybe he would be against it but you were different. You were calm and collected, a soft person, who didn't date many guys. Megumi trusted you, he knew you. Your happiness was also important to him. So he accepted it in his mind. He also noticed how his dad was finally interacting with a woman after his mom died. Megumi's life's biggest tragedy was that he lost his mother when he was barely two years old. He never felt the motherly care while growing up until he met you. His dad supported him a lot but you, you took care of his mood, well being and feelings. Though you were his friend but he found the comfort of a mother in your embrace. So he was all over pleased and wanted your relation to form properly with his dad.

•For you, it felt so wrong yet so right. You didn't plan to fall for your friends dad but some matters would always stay out of human control. So you had finally accepted it but didn't want to make a move from your side. On the other hand, Toji liked spending time with you. You were calm but not boring. He liked that. Also, he adored how you mothered his son. It made him chuckle with happiness. But the muted feelings in his heart was forcibly put down by himself. He refused to acknowledge any such weird feelings about his son's friend. So he just stayed in his limit as well. Megumi was honestly tired of seeing the lack of confronting ability. He wanted any of you two make a move. The way you both appreciated each other while talking with Megumi, he was surely confused why weren't you two making any move yet.

•The frustration was major. Megumi couldn't take it anymore decided to make move on you two's behalf. One day he called you to come over to his place while he went to Itadori's place, who was a mutual friend of you and Megumi. You agreed without knowing and came over to his place with some cookies you made, only to find his dad alone. You were confused, so was Toji. Both of you tried to contact megumi but he didn't pick up any call. You wanted to leave but Toji stopped you.

"You can stay untill he comes back, you know. I got no issues", he said with a chuckle. You hesitated but accepted soon. You sat with Toji and ate a few of the cookies you made.

"You made this?"

"Yeah.."

"Tastes good"

"Thank you, Fushiguro san"

"Hey you know, that fushiguro and all...so fucking formal. Call me Toji"

"But you're way older than me"

"Do I look like I care?", he laughed.

"Okay..Toji ...san?"

"Sounds better", both of you chuckled and chatted. It wad getting late but Megumi wasn't home till then. Toji suggested you to go back and he would talk to his son for his carelessness. You nodded and headed back. Though you didn't meet your friend that day, you felt somewhat happy. Spending all those time with Toji made you giggle in your mind.

•Such shits continued, as Megumi kept on setting you two up. Someday he sent his dad at your place to give you some important assignment files, giving the excuse of being "busy", someday he asked for your help to come over and stay a few hours at his place as he needed to go to the library, stating that his dad wasn't home. You agreed again and went to his place. He left, you were alone, using your phone, when the door knob moved. You thought he came back but it was Toji. Both of you were surprised at first but that day ended with chats and laughs as well. But Megumi heard a few words from his dad but his weird behavior later, and from you as well. But he didn't mind.

• Things continued. You two might confronted Megumi but all those 'accidental meet ups' were too good for both of you. So you two didn't care much and the bond grew stronger and you two came closer than before. Megumi was happy by the progress so far.

•One day, you hanged out with Megumi and his dad, as you were free that day(also his dad was there). Megumi excused himself for using the washroom near the park and you two waited for him. Then Megumi messaged you that he had a parcel coming by that day, so he had to go back to recive it but he would join you two soon after. You sighed and told Toji about that.

"My son is getting sneaky", he sighed and you two sat on the bench.

"Sure he is.", you chuckled and Toji looked at you.

"I would be concerned about it if he didn't have a friend like you. You take care of him like a mother.", he gave you a sounded laugh, making you blush a little. "Thanks a lot for being such a great friend to my son. I trust you enough that I know he won't do anything wrong as long as you stay with him.", he smiled.

"My pleasure. He is a good guy. He just..doesn't know how to talk about his needs. I somehow manage to read his face. And thus I try my best to take care of him. After all, he is my most important friend."

"You like my son?"

"As a friend, yes"

"Of course", he laughed "do you like his dad?"

His one question made you nervous. Did he find out? No way. You didn't know what to reply. Panic was clear on your face. Toji quickly fixed his words.

"I mean..do you think I am a good dad? Am I good enough?" You sighed and smiled in relaxation.

"Of course. You're doing great as a dad. Maybe you don't know but he once said that he feels grateful to have you around. He also acknowledge your hard work as a single father. You're more than just good."

"Really? Wow", he smiled to himself, feeling good about himself after so many days, or years.

•Things didn't actually go to that level where you could admit your feelings for Toji but you loved him, loved being around him. Megumi's set ups made you two more than just friends. Both of you knew that very well but didn't have the courage to tell each other.

•Megumi stopped setting you two up after a few months as he was tired. Also he wanted you two long for each other.

After a few weeks, when you were longing for Toji, trying hard to find a reason to meet up, you asked Megumi if you two should hang out and proposed to bring his dad too, Megumi decided to confront you.

"Y/n"

"Yes?"

"Do you like my dad?"

Your lips were sealed, not a single sound came out of your throat. How the hell did Megumi find out and how was he so exact? Was your facial expressions were so certain and prominent? Yoy had to lie. You coughed and gave him a dry laugh.

"Are you crazy Gumi? That's your dad..how can i-"

"Stop lying. You think I am a kid?"

"No but-"

"Why do you think all those accidental meet ups happen so frequently? Because I tried to set you two up"

"Wha-"

"But again you two couldn't even say a word about your feelings. If you like each other why don't you confess?"

"I don't like your da-"

"You do."

You stayed quiet, feeling exposed. Then you gradually asked:

"Are you..mad at me for falling for ...your dad? I'm so sorry please.."

"Are you really that dumb Y/n? I told you I set you two up. You think I would do all that if I was mad?"

"..."

"You are going to confess. I'll go out today with my dad. We will hang out, i'll bring my dad. I'll excuse myself. You will talk your heart out today!"

"Absolutely not!"

"Why not?"

"Your dad won't like me back. The hell are you saying?!"

"He does. I am telling you."

"Wait really?"

"Confess and see for yourself."

"But-"

"No buts!"

"Ugh-"

"You will confess or i'll set him up with another woman"

"What the hell bro?"

"I said what I said"

"Goddamn! Fine!"

"Good"

•You came back home. Your face was flushed. You were feeling nervous and excited at the same time. Megumi accepted you, even said his dad liked you back. You definitely needed to make a move the. Moreover, the way your buddy threatened you. You had to. You would definitely confess to Toji that evening! Yes! You could do it!!

Let's hope for the best, then :D

Part two with better details?👀

Thank you for reading. A big thanks to @//aliorailrow for requesting this<3 I hope it was okay as per your request?! Tried my best..hehe

Requests are open <3

♡Reblogs and comments are always appreciated♡

[websterss]

I GOT YOU, YOU GOT ME  — LUKE PATTERSON

SUMMARY: What is love without a few obstacles in the way. Luke finds out that Caleb put a stamp on you.

WARNING(S): Angst, mentions of death 

WORD COUNT: 6,838

PAIRING: Luke Patterson x fem!Reader 

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed!

MASTERLIST

The boys had appeared backstage at the ghost club. They were together in Julie’s garage about to get ready for the show when Caleb showed up. Now they stood backstage. Not one of them was enjoying any second of being there. It was a lot harder on Luke because the last time he saw you, you had suddenly vanished out of the garage. Caleb taking your place and appearing on top of Julie’s piano. He told Luke that you were, “Okay…for now.” Which did not sit well with the boys. Next thing they knew Caleb blew some magic dust in their faces and they poofed out of the garage.

Now here they were, in some of the most ridiculous outfits they’ve ever worn. Luke’s collared shirt, tie and blazer were too much for the free loose style he preferred. The boys watched as Caleb came down some stairs from their left.

“Well don’t you look nice.” He smirked

“S-Sweet threads.” Reggie was surprised by the outfits they were wearing but somehow they were nice and he hated that fact he agreed even more. Caleb took a nail file and filled his nails in front of the boys.

“H-How’d you know our sizes?” Alex put his hands out.

“That’s your question!” Luke responded in annoyance as he kept pulling at his collar that did not want to loosen up. He felt so restricted and covered up he felt like he was about to snap.

“I know you boys aren’t my biggest fans, and an eternity at my club might seem overwhelming, but I just put you in sweet threads so humor me on this one last pitch. Now for starters…isn’t it nice that you’re all here together.”

Luke looked at Reggie, then at Alex.

“And believe me, everything you two want, including Willie and Y/n…is here.” He gestured to Alex and Luke. Who were confused about what they should do. Alex shifted on his feet while Luke looked over at Alex. On one hand they did not want to join the club, but you and Willie were here. The only people they wanted to be with. “And on my stage, you don’t vanish when the music stops.” Caleb approached Luke. “You soak in the applause for as long as you want. The connection that you will feel with that audience…” He adjusted Luke’s black bow tie. Luke’s thoughts were unsure. He looked like a hopeless puppy. “Will be like no other, I promise.”

Just as he finished the crowd cheered, all excited for the show that was about to start.

“Oh, shh shh. Do you hear that?” Caleb took a step back from Luke. “They’re waiting for you!” A sudden high jolt struck the boys in the chest making them bend over in pain. They groaned in agony as they got struck harder this time.

“Ooh that one looked like it hurt!” Caleb shrugged as he walked backwards towards the curtain strings. “Now let me remind you. You don’t know if playing the Orpheum is your unfinished business. Do you really have time to make that mistake? I suggest you take my offer because the clock is ticking.” Caleb reached for the glass on the tray his servant was holding for him and took a sip. “And Luke.” Luke looked up from the pain. “So is Y/n’s time.” He smirked as he set his drink back on the tray.

“What did you do to her-“ Luke groaned as another jolt struck him and the boys. They were growing stronger by the minute.

“Ouch.” Caleb furrowed his brows. Just then Caleb snapped his fingers and you suddenly appeared. However he didn’t make you reappear gently. You ended up hitting the ground with a thump. You groaned as you slowly sat up with your hands.

“Y/n!” Luke exclaimed as he rushed over to you to help you up gently.

“You know where to find me.” Caleb opened the curtain and walked onto the stage. “Ladies and gentlemen I’m back!” He exclaimed to the audience.

Once you found your balance again Luke could see a look of fear in your eyes. “Y/n?” He frowned, caressing your hairs out of your face with his hands.

“There was nothing there…” You whimpered. “I-I couldn’t see anything.” You closed your eyes, shaking your head. “It was all just pitch black.”

“What did he do to you?” Luke said it more to himself than towards you.

“Luke, you have to get back to Julie.” You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. “You have to…you can’t stay here with Caleb. It’s not everything he says it is. You have to fight it okay?” You cupped his face crying.

“What about you? I’m not leaving you here with him.” He shook his head. “You had to go through a month of losing me that night, alone. I’m not losing you this time.”

He was referring to how he had died back in 1995. You were a mess after hearing the news. You couldn’t get out of bed, you wouldn’t eat, you just didn’t want to live in a world without him. And soon tragedy followed you till your dying breath. Your car flipped. A semi had run into the drivers side after you failed to see the stop sign. Funny how things ended up now. It brought everyone you knew great loss, but it brought you back to your Luke.

“You can’t save me this time Luke.” You whispered and you took a deep breath.

“Don’t say that. We’re gonna find a way and we’ll all be back singing with Julie in no time.” He smiled softly.

“Luke’s right Y/n, we’re gonna find a way okay.” Alex spoke up. 

“No matter what.” Reggie pitched in. He smiled your way.

“No you guys don’t understand.” You shed a tear. Luke and the boys frowned.

“Don’t understand what, Y/n?”

“I can’t leave…” You broke down. “He took my soul.”

“N-No.” Luke furiously shook his head as he walked up to you again. “No he didn’t.” He chuckled, but you weren’t laughing. “No…” His voice grew quieter.

“He took Willie’s soul too.” Alex looked down at his feet.

“No that can’t be. He can’t do that.” He ran a hand through his perfectly styled hair. You noticed that it went back to being styled again. “I’m gonna kill em’!” Luke huffed angrily.

“Well technically he’s already dead…” Reggie made a noise of disagreement. Luke turned to give him a look of annoyance. “So you can’t really kill…” Reggie averted his gaze as he trailed off.

“When?” Luke looked at you with a serious expression. 

“Luke-“ You began to protest but he cut you off. “When, Y/n?” Angry Luke was not to be messed with.

“Yesterday.” You sighed. “I didn’t know what he wanted to talk to me about. He said that he wanted me to pass you guys a message. He told me he wanted to invite you guys to another show.” You scoffed remembering, you hated yourself for falling for his lies. For falling into Caleb’s trap. “Nothing felt wrong at the time. He showed me the perks of being able to do tricks, he said he could grant me my deepest desires with the snap of his fingers!” You made emphasized gestures with your hands to demonstrate how much Caleb made it seem like this big luxurious thing. “It seemed silly at the time but that didn’t turn out to be the case…” You cried “I-I didn’t think the stamp would be harmless.” You sniffled as you pulled back your sleeve to reveal the purple stamp. Luke’s heart ached at the sight of the purple mark printed on your wrist. He knew all too well about that stamp and what its actual purpose was now. “I’m such an idiot.” “You’re not.” Luke held your hand. 

“He tricked you, Y/n. All of us. Besides you were just being your trusting self like you always are.” Luke smiled sadly. “He took advantage of that. He was wrong to do that.” He pulled you into a hug. “We’re gonna get your soul back Y/n, I promise.” He pressed a kiss to your temple.

“How?” You gripped him tightly.

“We’ll find a way.” He dug his face into your neck. 

“Yeah!” Alex and Reggie chimed in.

“Everything’s gonna be fine, Y/n.” Reggie offered reassurance. Even if he was scared himself. “I’m scared guys, what if something happens to m-“ You suddenly vanished from Luke’s arms. He tried grasping the air of empty space. His hands wrapped around nothing. You were no longer there. Confused and scared he turned to look at the boys.

“W-Where’d she go??” He whipped his head around multiple times. Trying to catch a glimpse of you around the room. You were gone. Caleb let the boys see you for only a limited amount of time. He had his leverage to uphold over the boys and he wasn’t gonna screw it up. Caleb was willing to do anything to get the boys to join his club.

Before they could panic any more their bodies started reacting to the music that was playing. Caleb was pulling them in by the groove of the beats playing.

Alex was first. His hand twirling his drum stick, not being able to control it. He then appeared on stage, he was scared because he couldn’t stop playing the drums.

“Alex…show me watcha’ got.” Caleb introduced him. He looked around at the audience who cheered but he was nowhere near as happy to be there.

“Yeah Alex!” Someone cheered from the crowd.

Next was Reggie who could feel the music flow through him, he could feel his body move on his own and that’s what worried him. Luke turned his head to see the empty spot where Reggie once stood and watched as Reggie reappeared next to Caleb on his left.

“Reggie…swing it baby!” Reggie played a smooth bass run. The musical connection he’d usually have wasn’t there. His feet moving on their own accord.

“Now Luke!” Caleb pointed off to the sidelines of the stage. Luke had swung his guitar to the front of him. He scowled as Caleb kept magically pulling him closer on stage, but Luke was trying to fight it. He tried and tried and soon he was walking forcefully towards Caleb. He scowled as he aggressively played each note. No control over his own body. You were right this wasn’t what it seemed like. They’d get to play eternity, but not on their own accord, not willing, there was no individuality, no freedom. Nothing.

“How do you like my new band?” Caleb sang. The crowd was eating it up. They were loving it more than the boys were. As Caleb began to scat. You suddenly appeared center stage wearing a hot number similar to Caleb’s backup dancers. The only minor difference between your outfit and theirs was the lack of feathers and extra accessories. Caleb made you look less ridiculous than his dancers. A purple two piece that coordinated with the boys suits, the added beads and jewels color coordinated with their suits. As someone who was from the 90′s, the heels Caleb put you in were new. Never in your life would you ever wear heels. You could never walk in them. High tops were always the move, not the three - four inch heels you wore. Yet as you moved, not on your own accord, but by whatever Caleb was making you do. You moved gracefully. Twirling and kicking a leg up in the air. Swinging to the music.

Luke’s eyes widened as he watched you go into a sudden split. You got up and then danced over to him. Your hands ran across his shoulders, and your hips swayed side to side. You were not enjoying one bit about this. Luke’s eyes displayed how grateful he was to see you again. Yet they feigned hurt because this wasn’t what neither of you wanted. Caleb smirked at the two of you, then snapped his fingers as he sang.

Luke had stopped playing which caused him to wonder why, but he soon realized why. His hand immediately reached out for yours, suddenly twirling you in circles three times. He was surprised by how you didn’t get dizzy. He knew that you weren’t loving this either, he knew that you had two left feet, but Caleb made you move so elegantly no one would ever know that in reality you couldn’t actually dance. You stopped spinning and then Luke spun you out and then in. For the ending drum hit that Alex played, Caleb made Luke dip you into his left knee then bring you back up. Your head hung back as he dipped you. Luke supported the back of your head as you went down, then right back up. Chest against chest. The motion was quick and sudden. You breathed heavily as your hands rested on his shoulders and your left leg lifted against his hip. Luke’s right hand caressed your exposed skin on your left thigh as he held it up against his side.

You could feel his hot breath against your cheek. Luke had turned his head briefly then looked right back at you. Your breath was taken away by his moves, it had caught you off guard. Luke wasn’t gonna lie, even in the ridiculous outfits they were in, you managed to look even more beautiful. You were breathtaking the moment you appeared on stage. If the circumstances were different, Luke would have showered you with kisses. He wouldn’t have hesitated to take your lower lip. To take you there and then like he would back when he’d convince you to skip classes with him.

As he reached forward to brush his lips against yours, you vanished into thin air again. Luke almost wanted to cry. He looked to the roaring crowd that he had tuned out, then looked to Reggie, then to Caleb.

He knew they couldn’t stay here, he knew what would happen to them if they didn’t accept Caleb’s offer too. Yet no music was worth making without Julie, without you by his side every time. A world worth living in the afterlife was not worth it without you. It wasn’t worth picking up a guitar again if he was being forced to play in front of a crowd.

He knew what he and the boys had to do. They had to fight. 

-

Julie had gone onto the stage. The boys were nowhere to be seen. She grew worried that something had happened. She had an idea but it was too much for her to bear. She was devastated her friends were gone. She didn’t want to have to play alone but she knew that she had too. She had to go up there alone, she had to do it for them. They were the reason she was where she was now. Julie wouldn’t have been able to do it if it hadn’t been for them. If it hadn’t been for you. You were starting to grow on her. She found an equal, a companion, a shoulder to cry on within you. You were there for her when she couldn’t go to the guys about things. Luke liked to tease you and let you handle the ‘girl stuff’ as he put it.

You were gone too.

After delivering her speech, Julie took a deep breath and began playing the notes she knew by heart on the keyboard.

“Don’t blink. No, I don’t want to miss it. One thing, and it’s back to the beginning Cause everything is rushing in fast Keep going on never look back. And it’s one, two, three, four times That I’ll try for one more night Light a fire in my eyes. I’m going out of my mind, Whatever happens Even if I’m the last standing. I'ma stand tall. I'ma stand tall, Whatever happens Even when everything’s down I'ma stand tall. I'ma stand tallI gotta keep on dreaming. Cause I gotta catch that feeling. Whatever happens Even if I’m the last standing. I'ma stand tall. I'ma stand tall.” Julie poured her heart out onto the song.

Alex was the first to appear on the stage with her. She was taken aback, but so happy to see him. He smiled at her as he each beat.

-

The boys were about to play another song but they were trying so hard to stop. Caleb smirked as he twirled around two of his dancers. The crowd were dancing in their seats waiting for another great song.

Alex had looked down at his hands. He could admit that this was now how things were supposed to go. He should have been there right now with Julie and the boys playing the Orpheum, not here being forced out of his will. Music was supposed to come out freely, not pressured out by some old magical ghost. He knew Willie’s soul and yours was taken. Alex was going to make sure that you both got them back, so that you wouldn’t have to endure this place anymore. The song was beginning and right as he was about to collide his sticks with the center of his drums. He stopped. He didn’t know what it was but it was like he could feel something stir within him. Like music…He observed himself, then began unbuttoning his white shirt. He smiled as he was able to remove the bowtie, then quickly folded the ends of his sleeves. The boys were watching him with curiosity, then were taken back when he vanished from the stage. This caught Caleb’s attention. He frowned as he heard Reggie gasp.

Reggie felt like something was calling to him, almost like an echo to his heart, to his soul. It was a light trying to guide him back to where he belonged. Reggie quickly shed off his blazer, feeling like he was wearing too much red to begin with. Caleb took a step back as he looked offended about the blazer being on the floor. Reggie kept the vest on though. He smiled over at Luke, who was also smiling non stop. Then he vanished too like Alex had. Luke laughed as he stared at the empty space Reggie stood.

-

“Right now. I’m loving every minute Hands down. Can’t let myself forget it, no. Cause everything is rushing in fast. Keep holding on nevеr look back.” Julie’s heart felt full as Reggie appeared beside her. Her boys weren’t gone, they were slowly coming back to her one by one. All that was left was Luke. “And it’s one, two, three, four times. That I’ll try for one morе night. Light a fire in my eyes…” Julie grew aware of how much Luke was glitching. Luke was having a hard time trying to appear on stage. To the audience it looked like the ‘hologram’ was malfunctioning, but to Julie and the guys, they knew Luke was trying so hard to fight against whatever was holding him back.

-

“Now Luke…” Caleb chuckled. “Alex and Reggie clearly have some different opinions in mind.” Luke scowled. He pulled at the collar that was suffocating him. He grunted as he ripped the bowtie off, then the sleeves of his shirt. Leaving his whole arms exposed just how he liked it. His chains and arm scarf made their appearance as he looked down at the ripped pieces on the ground.

“Ouch!” Caleb feigned hurt. He placed a hand on his chest and shook his head. “Should’ve stuck with the sleeveless outfit I had in mind for you then, huh?” Caleb clicked his tongue at Luke.

“This isn’t about the outfits.” Luke snapped. “It’s about the-”

“The music. Yes I know.” Caleb rolled his eyes. “But what about it being about the girl too.” Caleb smirked.

“What are you…Where’s Y/N-” Luke suddenly remembered. He began but was cut off when Caleb made you reappear once again, but this time Caleb had a strong hold on your arm. Luke grew guilty at the thought of almost leaving without you.

“Luke?” You were in your normal clothes again. The fear in your eyes was prominent. He was scared too.

“Let her go!” He warned Caleb. Luke’s eyes grew dark.

“Can’t do that!” Caleb sing-songed. You looked down at the torn material on the ground. Then you looked up at Luke’s outfit. He changed his look….

You looked around for Alex and Reggie but they were nowhere to be seen. A smile appeared on your face.

“Luke, you have to go. The Orpheum, remember?” You exclaimed trying to get out of Caleb’s hold. “Julie needs you.” You pleaded.

“Not without you!” He argued.

“Yes without me. You made the outfit your own. See! The guys were able to leave. You need to go, Luke.” You smiled sadly. “Your unfinished business, remember.”

“What about yours huh? You’ll be trapped here, remember. You didn’t even know what it was. You said it was something you didn’t get the chance to do.” Luke’s eyes watered.

You did though…You did know because it was the one thing you had been scared to do. To say. Your smile grew as a tear shed down your face. Caleb found the interaction adorable, he just had to roll his eyes at the two teenagers in love.

“Well this is just too precious, but I do have a show to do so if you’ll excuse-” 

“I love you, Luke!” You blurted out.

Luke took a step back not expecting you to do that. He was gonna say it back, but he noticed that you had started to glow.

“Y/n your-” He gasped. You frowned then looked down at yourself. Caleb let go of you then yelled angrily. 

“No!”

You then gasped when something struck you. You knew that it wasn’t good. You didn’t feel good, but you didn’t want to tell Luke.

You looked down and watched as the glowing hue died down. You glanced up at Luke and giggled as you ran up to him.

“I think I got my soul back.” You muttered. Yet deep down you knew that something was wrong. Caleb struck you with something, but you just wanted to get Luke out of here so you lied, plus it was nice seeing him smile again. “I love you…so much Luke.”

“You waited till I died to tell me…dumb!” Luke chuckled as he cupped your face and kissed you roughly. He was taking the moment to savor the feeling of your lips against his. To make up for the moment that Caleb ruined between you two on stage. To show you how much he loved you. He pulled back and pressed his head against yours. His smile grew every second.

“No!” You both turned your head to face Caleb. “I’m not through with you my darling.” Caleb smirked.

“You forgot about something Caleb.” You smirked too. “And what is that?”

“You went back on your deal, You can’t harm another ghost you mark…Willie is free now.” You reminded him. His smirk faded away suddenly. “You don’t have a hold over him or me. You lost this time.” You knew that wasn’t true. He still had his hold over you, but Willie was free. Caleb promised you no harm would come to Willie or the guys, but he hurt them. So now he had to let Willie go. He was being reluctant to let them go…to let you go. Luke grabbed a hold of your hand.

“I believe we have a show to get to.” He beamed.

“Let’s go then, what are you waiting for!” You exclaimed as you pulled at his arm. Luke grinned, grabbing your hand and then orbed you guys out of the club. Not wanting to spend another second here.

-

“I’m going out of my mind!” Luke finally appeared on stage coming in with his vocals. There were no more glitches or malfunctions. He fully appeared as himself. He rocked out and sang his heart out. Julie had grabbed her mic when he finally showed up. She started jumping up and down on stage. She had looked around for a brief second which Luke caught onto. He looked at her then gestured over to the crowd where you stood in the front row. Julie turned her head in time to see you throw a big kiss at her with your hands. She grew excited and continued dancing around on stage.

“Whatever happens even if I’m the last standing I'ma stand tall. I'ma stand tall Whatever happens even when everything’s down I'ma stand tall. I'ma stand tallI gotta keep on dreaming Cause I gotta catch that feeling, Whatever happens even if I’m the last standing I'ma stand tall. I'ma stand tall.”

“Like I’m glowing in the dark. I keep on going when it’s all falling apart Yeah I know it with all my heart. Ooh, ooh.” Luke and Julie harmonized together. Then Luke sand. 

“Never look back!” 

“Whatever happens even if I’m the last standing. I'ma stand tall, I'ma stand tall.” Alex stood up and let his voice be heard. You always enjoyed hearing him sing.

“Whatever happens even if I’m the last standing. I'ma stand tall, I'ma stand tall.” 

Reggie then sang his heart out next. “Stand tall!”

“Stand tall!” 

“Whatever happens even if I’m the last standing. I'ma stand tall, I'ma stand tall, Whatever happens even when everything’s down I'ma stand tall, I'ma stand tall I gotta keep on dreaming. Cause I gotta catch that feeling, Whatever happens even if I’m the last standing. I'ma stand tall, I'ma stand tall…” They finished off slowly.

The crowd cheered as the guys and Julie stood in the middle of the stage bowing. You blew a kiss at Luke and then placed your hand over your heart as you looked at Julie. You were even surprised when you noticed Carried had stood up as well. It had been a beautiful moment to witness. You knew the band was going to be a hit.

You started crying right after the boys vanished from the stage leaving Julie standing alone. You wanted to go up there and hug her. They were the reason why Julie was doing what she loved again. You were so proud of them. Their unfinished business was accomplished. They played the Orpheum. They could finally cross over. You were so happy for them that you couldn’t even be hurt by Luke leaving. Luke talked about crossing over so much you weren’t surprised that he finally did.

But you grew surprised when you and Julie made it back to the garage studio to find the boys laying on the ground in pain. You didn’t even bother to turn the lights on, but Julie did. You were only worried about the boys and why they were still here.

“Luke!” You ran over to him. His eyes were closed, and he groaned out. “I-I don’t understand?” 

“Why are you here? I-I thought-” Julie was cut off by the sudden jolt that struck the boys. He held onto Alex and Luke’s hands as they groaned out in pain. Coughing because taking so much of their energy away. “I-I thought you crossed over. Why didn’t you cross over?”

Alex took his hand back silently thanking you for comforting him. “I-I guess playing the Orpheum…” He struggled to stand up. “Wasn’t our unfinished business.”

“Point Caleb.” Reggie said sarcastically. He used the sofa chair as support to hold him up.

“We wanted you guys to think we crossed over…so we pretended to.” Luke glanced up at Julie then looked at you beside him. “We just…” He shook his head, shrugging because he found it silly. “We had nowhere else to go.” Luke looked so hurt you didn’t think holding his hand was doing enough to comfort him.

“We’d thought you’d go straight to bed…” Reggie shrugged looking at Julie then at you. 

“And we thought you’d go on one of your walks or visit your parents grave like you always do.”

“Yeah well.” Alex sighed heavily as he leaned against the piano. “I knew they were both gonna come out here but nobody ever listens to-” Another jolt struck the boys. This one was stronger than the last one causing them to curl over and clutch their stomachs. They were all brought down. Luke had to lay down, Reggie let go of the couch, and Alex almost fell to his knees.

“I don’t know how to help!” You exclaimed as you looked over each of them. You had never seen them in pain this badly.

Julie rushed forward and pleaded at them. “You have to save yourself right now! Go join Caleb’s club please! It’s better than not existing at all…please just go, go poof out, do something please! Do it for me please. Do it for Y/n, Luke.” Julie gestured to you, who was on the verge of crying. Luke turned over to stare at you with a look you couldn’t describe.

“We’re not going back there.” Reggie shook his head. He never wanted to return to that terrible place.

Luke stood up letting go of your hand and stepped closer to Julie. “No music is worth making Julie, if we’re not making it with you.” Julie tilted her head, her eyes glossing over his words. “No regrets.” Luke admitted. She reached forward to embrace him. At first you were touched that she even attempted to hug Luke, but your eyes widened when Julie was able to wrap her arms around him. She didn’t phase through him. You were taken back because she was able to touch him. Luke wrapped his arms around her too when she went in for a hug. Reggie smiled and Alex was confused.

“I love you guys.” Julie sniffled.

Julie then suddenly pulled back realizing she could feel Luke. She ran her hands down his arms then to his hands. “How can I feel you?”

Luke was surprised too. “I-I don’t know.”

Julie gasped as she placed her hands on his face. You were in too much pain to care about her touching Luke, you knew there wasn’t anything more to it. Luke then cupped her face too. Laughing because he couldn’t believe what was happening.

He turned to look at you guys. “I feel stronger.”

“Alex, Reggie, come.” Julie told them. You knew that the boys were more hurt, so Julie had motioned them over. Julie wasn’t aware that you were hurt too. She thought you were fine, all of them did. So they thought.

“How can that be?” You said to yourself. You were about to walk up to them when you felt the energy suddenly drain from your body. You stumbled back slightly.

The guys walked up to Julie and wrapped their arms around each other. Halo beams glowed up into the air above them as they stayed in that position for a few seconds. They were too busy to notice that they didn’t catch the sudden thump that hit the ground. You collapsed.

“Woah, I-I don’t feel as weak anymore.” Reggie smiled.

“Yeah, me neither. Not that I was ever that weak.” Alex joked, causing them all to laugh. The guys then all looked down at their wrist. The purple stamp removed itself from their wrist and flowed up into the air.

“What do you think that means?” Julie gaped at the purple magic that floated above her. 

“I think the band is back.” Luke smiled.

“You guys think we could try that hug one more time?” Alex asked, they laughed and huddled together embracing each other with their hands.

“I like this!” Reggie admitted.

“Me too!” Julie exclaimed. “We played the Orpheum!” They all jumped up and down together.

Luke was the first to step back from the hug briefly to glance back at you. He finally grew aware that you were quiet the entire time.

“Hey, Y/n why you’d get-” Luke chuckled but felt his heart plummet when he noticed you on the ground. Your eyes were closed. “Y/n!” Luke rushed over to your side. The guys and Julie rushed to your aid too. Luke cupped your face trying to get you to open your eyes. “Hey baby, come on now. Open your eyes for me yeah.” Luke smiled, pleading with hopeful eyes. He gently patted the side of your cheek. “Why aren’t you opening your eyes?” He exclaimed. “W-Why isn’t she opening her eyes?” He looked over his shoulder at Julie, Alex and Reggie. “Y/n, open your eyes. Open your eyes baby, please!” Luke took you into his arms and rocked you. Shaking you and patting your face. No response. “Come on now. I can’t do this without you.” Luke shook his head.

“She was fine….She looked fine…” Julie shook her head. “Why isn’t she fine?”

“You guys were the last ones to leave the club…”Alex pointed out. “Did anything happen?” “She said she got her soul back, but why would…” Luke trailed off as he looked down at you. His eyes roamed over your body until he caught a glimpse of your wrist. He grabbed your arm and pulled back your sleeve to reveal the purple mark still present, still tattooed onto your skin. “I-I don’t…why is this still here?” Luke croaked. “Shouldn’t this be gone.”

“Caleb might still have a hold on her.” Reggie furrowed his brows.

“He can’t.” Luke denied any thoughts. “Y/n was fine, she was fine.” Luke hugged you closer to his chest. “You were fine, why aren’t you fine?” He whimpered to you. He brushed your hair out of your face looking at your closed eyes. You looked peaceful, too peaceful. You didn’t show any signs of suffering. His hands stopped as he suddenly remembered that Julie was in front of him. “Julie, come here.” He sniffled as he adjusted your body to allow Julie to be able to get closer to you. “Y-You can feel us, maybe if you hug her, or touch her, she’ll wake up.” Luke was so sure that his idea would work.

“I’ll try.” The corner of her lips were drawn down, but her eyes reassured Luke that she was willing to try. Julie slowly reached forward to place her hand on your skin. The anticipation was tense around the room. Alex, Reggie, and Luke waited for her hand to come in contact with your skin, but all she was met with was air. Her hand had gone through you. Luke shed a tear as he watched Julie’s anxiety start to form as she repeated the motion. Her hand still went through. He gently stopped her hand and shook his head. Luke reassured her through his teary eyes.

“Could you guys give me…” Luke gestured to you. “I just want to be alone with her right now.” 

“Luke are you sure?” Alex grew unsure about leaving Luke alone. No one should have to be alone for something like this. Alex was so fond of you. He was glad Luke and you met when you guys did. After he and Luke had gone through something, Alex thought things were going to be weird, but you never made things weird. Alex was just glad Luke had you. His anxiety was slowly growing and making its appearance. He never did like change. Dying had been a big change, now you were not waking up. He didn’t know how he’d be able to handle this. He was concerned for Luke because Luke never really showed anyone how he was feeling. He’d bottle things up, so staying calm right now was worrying Alex.

“Alex please…” Luke’s glossed over eyes peered up to look into his. Luke averted his gaze and glanced down to look at you again. His thumb caressing over your cheek.

“We’ll be outside okay.” Julie stood up and placed her hand on Luke’s shoulder before she guided Reggie and Alex out of the garage closing the doors behind her.

As soon as the doors closed Luke immediately broke down. Tear after tear fell down his face. He hugged you closer, rocking you in his arms as he dug his face into the side of your neck. “I’m so sorry baby.” He muttered into your neck. “I’m so sorry.” He pulled back to look at you. “I-I didn’t even tell you I loved you.” He shook his head. He hated himself for not saying it back at the club. He had kissed you instead, he didn’t say it, not even when you guys were in school. “God I love you…I love you so much. I should have told you sooner, I should’ve told you after our first date. I should’ve told you when you were there for me after I ran away. I should’ve…” He cried. He clenched his jaw, closing his eyes as he rested his face on the crook of your neck. He just held you. Trying to embrace you closer, there wasn’t any more room to possibly hold you against him closer. He kept readjusting his arms around you to hug you. He sniffled, small cries filled the quiet studio.

Julie, Reggie, and Alex, could hear him through the doors. Each shedding their own tears. Each filled with sorrow and pain.

Luke couldn’t move. He stayed sitting on the floor. Holding your body up. He began muttering words that slowly turned into a song. “When I can’t think of the right words to say…I just sing oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.” He sniffled as he rocked you. “Come on and harmonize with my melody and we’ll sing oh oh oh oh oh oh oh…” He pulled back to get a view of you. “Ain’t it a perfect harmony. You got me.” He waited to hear you sing your part back to him, but you didn’t. “I got you.” He whispered. “I got you.” He nodded. “You got me. Yeah you got me.” A tear fell down his cheek. “I got you. A perfect harmony…” You two would always finish off harmonizing but you didn’t sing your parts, so Luke’s voice alone didn’t create that magical sound that made your voices mix so perfectly. “I love you so much…” He dug his face into the crook of your neck sobbing. He had been too lost in his own thoughts he didn’t notice the purple mark leave your body. The magical trace that was printed on your skin flowed into the air. Caleb’s mark was gone.

“You waited till I died to tell me….” You rasped. The glowing hue came back and took over your body. “Dumb.” Luke gasped as he pulled back and gaped at you with wide eyes.

You sighed as you slowly opened your eyes squinting at the lights that were too bright at the moment. Luke cupped your face as you tried sitting up, but you found yourself on his lap instead. Luke looked relieved and on the verge of happy tears. You placed your hands over his cupped ones and smiled. You were so tired and your head hurt from the fall.

“Oh my god!” Luke exclaimed as he checked you over to make sure nothing else was wrong. “Guys get in here!” Luke yelled out. The three outside gave each other looks of concern as they opened the doors and rushed in. They all stopped mid run once they saw you awake. “Oh my god. You’re okay!” He held your face in his hands. His eyes gleaming over with tears of joy. “God I love you so much.”

“What just happened?” Julie was confused because the light in you dimmed not too long ago. 

“I’m free.” You gasped. You looked down at your forearm, running your palm over the area where the mark had been.

“Does that mean that…” Alex trailed off as he stopped to think for a minute. “Willie? Is he-” 

“He’s okay Alex.” You smiled as you caught sight of someone entering the studio.

“Alex.” Everyone turned around as Willie suddenly appeared. Alex stood still for a moment as he ran up to him and hugged him. They pulled back and shared a hesitatant kiss.

“You’re okay.” Alex laughed. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” 

“Likewise hotdog.” Willie smiled at the happy blonde.

Luke couldn’t help but smile at his best friend then look over at you.

“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t woken up.” He ran a hand through your hair. 

“Hey, you got me.” You sang as you cupped his face gently. He smiled as he pressed his head against yours.

“I got you.” He harmonized with you. You laughed and pressed a tender kiss to his lips.

“I want love!” Julie pouted. Blurting out her inner thoughts causing everyone in the room to laugh.

“You’ll get there soon kiddo.” You laughed as you reassured her. “You’ll get there soon.” You smiled fondly at Luke.

[scaramouche-bully]

+ 1 other. Apologies, I accidently deleted another anon’s ask. 

— ☆ Overstimulation headcanons 

Includes: Ningguang and Zhongli.

[ Sub ] Gender-neutral reader

Contains: Overstimulation, exhibition, vibrators, dacryphilia, coming untouched, multiple orgasms, humiliation, sub space, cock-warming, size difference + size kink 

— ☆ Overstimulation headcanons - Xiao, Childe, and Scaramouche 🐏 [ GN ]  

— ☆ Overstimulation headcanons - Kaeya and Venti 🐑 [ GN ]

— ☆ Overstimulation headcanons - Kaeya and Venti

[ masterlist ]

I’m not sure if you all wanted the same characters or not but I wanted to include others so everyone has some food. I have a lot of bratty sub requests lined up so I hope it’s alright that I didn’t write one this time. I kind of want to dedicate an entire fic to exhibition after writing this but this is a busy week for me. 

— ☆ Ningguang 

Ningguang is a very busy woman so she can’t spend all her time to pleasuring you. However, she does immensely enjoy putting you in humiliating situations where you’re forced to sit there and take it. 

Her favourite activity is softly kissing you, sending you into a sense of warm comfort, as she gently fingers you open. The cute whines you make? It makes her want to cancel her plans and fuck you over the table but she holds her self-restraint in. 

Just when you’re about to cum, her hands are gone and she’s teasingly toying a vibrator around your walls. Before forcefully shoving it into your hole until it’s nestled right against your walls. 

As you whine at how mean she’s being, she offers one last kiss before she’s rearranging your clothes until you look decent and returning to her seat. The meeting is about to begin. 

It’s only been a couple minutes into the meeting and you can feel the faint buzzing of the vibrator that’s rubbing against your sensitive spots. But there are so many people around you, important people, that you have to hold it. You’re biting your lips raw, to the point you can almost taste blood, as you try and appear professional. What would happen if someone noticed? You’re heating up in embarrassment but the idea of getting caught makes you feel so hot. Under the table you’re squeezing your legs together so tightly, clutching around the vibrator as some sort of stabilization even when it’s pressed right against your spot. Your toes curl as your legs raise a tiny bit above the floor as your legs strain and you try to not cum in front of so many people. 

“mmph- ahh...N-Ning..” you quietly plead with her but it only seems to increased the intensity of the vibrations. You quickly duck your head down and cover your mouth as you openly pant into your hand, scooting a bit closer to the edge of the table so no one beside you could see what you were doing, as you dip your hands onto the edge of your pants. Just a little relief, just something to distract your mind from the pleasure. Before you can dip your fingers into your waistband, you feel a sharp gaze on you. That’s your only warning before the vibrator is set to max as your sputter and try to control your voice. This is complete torture as you desperately try to muffle your moans with your hand. 

“I-I can’t..p-please..ah!” you gasp but it’s too late. You’re digging your nails into the chair as you cum. Your pants are completely soaked as your leg’s twitch and spasm. You can vaguely hear someone beside you asking if you’re okay or not but you can’t answer right now. 

“Excuse them, they accidently pulled their leg and must be feeling the cramps. Poor thing,” Ningguang chuckles as she waves off their concerns. You shakily try to smile at them and they only nod concerned before continuing the meeting.  Ningguang was right, everyone beside the Qixing were idiots. While Ningguang has her usual pleasant smile, her eyes are absolutely feral as she fiddles with the remote. Switching from low to high that you never know what to expect. This time you have no warning of when the vibrator is set to max. Your mouth falls open but no sounds come out as your cum all over yourself again. Just to sit there and take it, just as she likes. 

— ☆ Zhongli

Zhongli wasn’t aware that it was a kink in the first place but when he watched you try and take his cock, only to end up cumming so much to the point of crying like a baby, it unlocked something deeply primal inside him.

He'll offer small words of false comfort as he gently pets your head like you're a dog. It’s okay if it’s too much for you, it’s okay if only you get to orgasm, and it’s okay if you want to give up. 

It only ends up making you cry more and try harder that you end up pushing yourself into sub-drop. He loves it. 

He adores the dumb look you get on your face. He can fuck you stupid so fast with such minimal effort that it makes you so embarrassed the morning after.  

“Zhongli! S-Stop! I’m- ngh! No-I c-can’t ...ahh!” you squeal, clinging onto him as you cum again. You’re crying into his shoulder as you shake and sob as he holds you to his chest. He never stops his slow thrusts into you even as the overstimulation settles in and your head is lolling back and your eyes grow hazy in pleasure. 

“Shh, yes you can. You can and you will. Don’t disappoint me now,” his eyes seem to dilate as he says this. He adjusts his grip on your hips and fucks into you harder. The stuttering babbles that get punched out as he thrust’s his thick cock in and out. You’re drooling all over yourself as your mind fogs up, you can feel yourself reaching your next orgasm already. Zhongli’s cock easily slides into you with all the cum that’s already inside you, the wet slaps that echo in the room, it’s burning you up too fast. His thick cock as it drags against your spots that you feel like you’re going insane. 

“Z-Zhongli...” you whine, looking up at him with tearful eyes, “feels...good...hah.”

“Does it now? Weren’t you crying that it was too much a few minutes ago?” he whispers as he makes a quick snap of his hips to sink his entire cock into you. He can feel your walls seize up, your head throw back, before you orgasm and try to push him away. Your knee’s lifting closer to you as your toes curl before becoming boneless and dropping to the bed.

“Noo..more..Zhongli..mm” you couldn’t help the loud whine that left your lips as you feel him rock back into you. You were too sensitive from your previous orgasms but it felt so good. Wave after wave of pleasure even when it was too much. Zhongli laughs under his breath as he watches the conflicting feelings swirl in your head before you eventually drop and let him take over. He leans over as he kisses away your tears but he can’t help that sick pride in his chest seeing you let go of your inhibition's. He’s softly calls to you to come back to him, that you did so well and he’s so proud of you. Your needy hole is sucking his cock back in as he gently tries to ease himself out that he accepts his fate and lets you cockwarm him. Gently turning you over onto your side as he let’s you doze off, warm and content.  

[morningbluue]

meet me halfway | t.h.

summary: after some meaningless dates and hookups, you coincidentally meet someone who’s sneaking out of a hotel room at the same time as you, and you instantly know that you have a lot in common 

warnings: mentions of sex and one-night stands, a few swear words, mostly fluff

word count: 2,1k

A/N: i’m back from the dead lol 

masterlist | taglist

-

Maybe soulmates exist, maybe they don’t. Maybe destiny brings people together, maybe they find each other coincidentally. Maybe there’s one person meant to be for you and only you, maybe it’s meant to be for you to find more than only one love in your life. 

But if you can say one thing about love, it’s that you can choose to love someone. 

Of course, you can’t decide if you love him or her, but you get to decide if you deepen your feelings and fall harder for someone, or if you decide against it and walk away from the upcoming love. That applies to relationships, friendships and family. 

But who wants to live a life without some love, right?

When you met the smiling brunette boy, you were at a point in your life where you didn’t want to hear one word about love. You just came out of a long relationship with a bad ending, and you were ready to feel free and carefree for a while. 

So you downloaded one of the many dating apps and started meeting new people, going on dates, living your life to the fullest. And you had to admit that it was one of the best times of your life. 

However, Tom was not one of your matches on your cell phone, and he still managed to steal your heart. 

-

You tiptoe around the hotel room, searching for the rest of your things. Once you find your jeans and the shirt you wore last night, you quickly put them on again before you grab your jacket and shoes from the ground too. 

With your lips pressed together, you give the handsome man in the bed one last look to make sure he’s still asleep. Sadly, his good looks didn’t match his qualities in bed. 

You carry your shoes in your hands because rule number one when you want to leave quietly and without anyone noticing, you don’t wear shoes that make loud noises. 

A small part of you feels bad as you open the room door and leave because the guy was nice. He just didn’t match your character and the sex couldn’t change your mind about him either. 

But on the other hand, he probably has another girl in his bed every weekend. Why else would he book a hotel room if he lives in the city? 

You close the door behind you and take a deep breath when you don’t hear footsteps on the other side of the door. You’re safe. 

But then the door on the other side of the hallway opens, and your heart almost stops beating. 

You watch with wide eyes as a young man appears behind the door and tiptoes out of the room. A sweatshirt and his shoes are also pressed to his chest, and you almost want to laugh. 

“What the fuck-”

His head shoots around to you, and he almost lets go of his things. His brown eyes are as big as a watermelon, the color drained from his face, and you slightly feel bad for scaring him. 

“Shhh!” he whisper-shouts, and you close your mouth even if you didn’t want to say anything. 

“Sorry!” You raise your hands in surrender. 

The guy gives you a look that definitely says are you serious? “What part of shh don’t you understand?” 

You only shrug, a grin appearing on your lips. 

“She’s showering right now, so I need to get away as quietly and quickly as possible.” 

Your eyebrows raise in surprise. “You’re an asshole,” you mumble. “No offense.” 

That puts a smile to his lips. He looks you up and down quickly. “And you’re not doing the same thing?” 

Your gaze wanders to your belongings in your hands. “First of, he’s still asleep. Second, I’m going to send him a message as soon as I’m out here. I wouldn’t leave without saying anything.” 

“Well, it’s none of your business, but I left her a note on the bed.” 

You grimace. “What a gentleman.” 

“Thank you,” he grins. But then his smile falls suddenly as he hears something in the room he just left. 

“Let’s get away from here.” 

You frown. “Why should I come with you?” 

“You don’t have to, but I’m getting myself a nice fresh coffee now, and you look like you want one too.” 

“I’m taking this as an insult.” 

He laughs. “If you want to.” 

-

You sit down on the other side of the table and smile at the brunette. “Thanks for the coffee, Tom, but you didn’t have to.” 

“You don’t have to say it a third time,” he grins, “I got it the first one.” 

You laugh and bring the mug closer to your mouth. “Sorry.” 

“So, how bad was your date?” Tom asks, and you almost spit out your coffee. 

Staring at him with surprised eyes, you cough a few times to get rid of the burning feeling in your throat. Your cheeks turn pink when you can’t find the right words. 

“I think I missed the part where that’s your business.” 

The handsome boy rolls his eyes. “C’mon y/n, I told you everything about my date too on the way here.” 

You grimace as his words float your mind again. “Yeah and I don’t need to hear it again.” 

A cheeky grin takes over his face. “It’s only fair.” 

“Okay, fine,” you give in, “but only because you brought me a coffee.” 

Tom claps his hands together in excitement and leans closer over the table. “I wanna know everything!”

“It started with him coming 15 minutes late and wearing a freaking suit to a non-expensive restaurant, while I wore this,” you make a hand gesture over your outfit. “We didn’t match, at all,” you laugh. 

Tom’s brown eyes wander over your figure. “You still look beautiful.” 

Your cheeks heat up again. “Thank you.” 

“Also, our vibes didn’t match. He talked too much about his job and didn’t laugh about my jokes,” you continue. “I mean, maybe I’m not funny, but sometimes he didn’t even crack a smile.” 

“That’s sad.” 

You nod. “I know, right? But he was nice and kind, and he looked freaking good in his suit, so I gave him another chance and went home with him.” You pause. “Which then turned out to be a hotel, even though he told me he has an apartment here since forever.” 

Tom’s brows knit together. “Not gonna lie, this sounds weird. Except he does that all the time.” 

“That’s what I thought too,” you shrug, “but he didn’t look like someone who would do stuff like that. He looked like a nice person with a good job who’s kind to everyone.” 

“Looks can deceive,” Tom mumbles and turns his gaze away from you. 

You press your lips together. “Hey, don’t look so offended. I’m the one who ran away while he was still asleep.” 

“And I ran away while she was in the shower,” Tom adds and takes a sip from his coffee. 

You nudge his feet with your own. “Guess we both did something bad today. But I also don’t think they care.” 

“You’re right.” He looks at you for a moment, then he tilts his head and smirks. “Now tell me about the special night. What was the last straw that made you leave?” 

Laughing, you shake your head. “I’m not going to tell you anything.” 

Tom pouts, and seeing this look on his face makes your heart sting uncomfortable. You groan, and the brunette knows he won. 

“He made some weird noises while... you know... doing it,” you say, remembering the last night clearer than ever. 

Bursting out laughing, Tom gains the attention of the other coffee shop guests. “Oh no, he didn’t!” 

“He did!” you laugh with him, ignoring the stares. 

-

The first time sharing stories and laughs about a terrible one-night stand over fresh coffee turned into a second time and a third and so many more, but you stopped counting them after some time. No matter if a date turned out great or terrible, you always called each other after or set up a meeting in a café the next morning.

Sometimes you even helped the other escape if a date got too worse, and you just couldn’t stand to be there any longer. However, you always found your way back to each other. And maybe that’s what made the whole being free and careless thing so much harder for you. 

Because with every more time you spent with the brunette, it felt harder to find a good match for you. You swiped more people left than ever - people you definitely would have gone on a date with before Tom came along. 

But he doesn’t know that, and you don’t know how he feels. After all, he still has dates to tell you about. 

Except when he calls you one evening when it’s too early to get back from a date. He doesn’t call in the evening, he only calls in the night or in the morning. 

You accept the call with a smile. “Tom?”

“Y/n? Hi!” You hear him ruffle around in the background. 

“What’s up? It’s too soon to save you from a date,” you laugh. 

A pause. “Ha. That’s true,” you can hear him smiling on the other end. “Actually, I’m not on a date. Not yet, at least.”

You frown. “Then why are you calling?”

“Well,” he clears his throat, and you don’t miss the way his voice sounds different. “I have to find someone to go on a date with first...”

“Okay?” you sound confused. “That’s probably not a big deal for you,” you mumble, more to yourself than him. Your heart stings in your chest, and you clutch the phone tighter. 

“God. This is harder than normal,” he sighs. You don’t respond.

“Look, y/n, we’ve spent so many mornings together in this café over the past months and I wouldn’t trade it with anything else. I’m always looking forward to calling you or seeing you after a date.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t even care any more about my dates, I just want to spend time with you.”

You don’t know what to say, but the smile on your lips says it all. Sadly, he can’t see it. “Tom-”

“Actually, I have to tell you something... Sometimes I didn’t even go on a date, but I still called you the next morning because I wanted to hear your voice and your laugh.”

Tears shimmer in your eyes. “That’s... so sweet,” you smile into the phone. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s fine. Can you come outside, please?”

You look out of the window. “Right now?”

“Right now.”

When you arrive downstairs, Tom’s already waiting outside your door, and you almost faint at the sight of him.

“What are you wearing?” you laugh as you stop in front of him. His hair is not as messy as usual, but his wide smile is still the same, and he’s wearing a black suit that fits him better than anything. You know without a fact that no one has ever looked better in a suit than him.

Tom smiles almost shyly. “You said you like guys in suits.”

“Well, yes, but no one has ever looked as good as you,” you chuckle.

“Thanks.” He turns his head away to hide his rosy cheeks. Which makes him look even cuter.

You step from one foot to the other. “So, why are you here?”

The brunette takes a step closer to you and takes your hand gently into his. “I want to ask you out on a date.”

“You’re not wearing this to go to a café, are you?”

“No,” he laughs. “I’m taking you somewhere special.”

He pulls you close against his chest. “So y/n, what do you say?”

“I would love to go on a date with you, Tom,” you smile. 

A genuine, relieved smile takes over his face. “Can I kiss you?”

You nod shyly, and without waiting another second, Tom pressed his soft small lips to yours. You wrap your arms around his torso, and he holds your face close to his. He tastes fresh and sweet, like the best combination of mint and strawberries. And in this moment you know that all the terrible dates were worth it because they brought you to him.

“But don’t call me tomorrow morning and tell me the date was horrible,” you chuckle against his lips.

Tom leans his forehead against yours, smiling widely. “I already know that it won’t be horrible.”

Maybe it’s true what they say, maybe you do find your person when you least expect it.

-

taglist: @reawritesthings | @sunwardsss | @bxnnywatts |  @millennial-teenybopper | @emilyg453 | @missnxthingg | @rosie-posie08 | @lovehollandy12​

[shirophantomvox]

How Illumi, Hisoka, and Chrollo would react to their S/O in the hospital

Hi, anon! You are welcome to join my Discord Server if you are a fan of Hxh, Voltron, or both! I promise this is a safe environment! This is an interesting topic for sure! To the other anon(s), I am working on your request! This will contain both fluff and angst. I forgot to include Leorio in this, so I’ll include him in the next HxH post. You’ll have to forgive me, I have 2 more requests in my inbox and I am not feeling the best. I just got my second Covid shot and it is hurting like hell. Nevertheless, I encourage you all to get your shot if you can. I will be on this site one and off and I should be on it for real next week. I have run out of ideas to write and I began to think I was annoying people with my HxH content (no one said this I just assumed). This post has 1974 words. After these requests are finished, I plan on doing a character analysis for Leorio.

Anyway, let’s get into the post!

We’ll start with Hisoka this time.

Hisoka

In all honesty, this man has heard of a hospital (since he sends a lot of people to it after fights) but has never been in one.

The signs, floors, staircase numbers, and elevators all confuse him. He has only been in one once when he was a kid and has never been again.

He isn’t a social butterfly in this setting because this is a professional establishment and not a college party. Asking for directions takes quite a toll on him because of his established pride. You know guys act when they want to find a destination on their own and will go miles out of the way instead of just asking for direction.

He doesn’t talk to anyone; all he wants to do is find you and make sure you are alright.

He is the tallest person in the freight elevator. So tall that everyone at turns to look at him at once for at least 10 seconds and turn back around surprised.

“How tall is he,” one of the nurses ask.

“Tall enough to be my house!”

This annoys him. He takes out the Joker card and lays it against his thigh but realizes he cannot make any hasty decisions. His bloodlust was activated merely out of irritation and not by threat. You were on his mind and destroying these worthless humans wasn’t an option for today.

He approached the guest desk and waited for about 2 minutes before he was acknowledged.

“May I help you,” a smug receptionist asked. Wow, these people do not know who they’re talking to.

“I’m here to see y/n.”

“Y/n is in room 345. Go down the hall and to the right all the way down.”

This man nearly ran with a quickness! His jester shoes somehow made the floor shake as he ran.

You were awake, eating the horrible food the hospital provided and watching TV. It seemed like you were doing ok, but you had just been in a car accident. Your arms and right leg were still sore. It was so bad that you’d be fine with Hisoka carrying you everywhere.

When you two are alone in serious public places, he doesn’t play games or tricks. He is often portrayed as a ruthless man, but in settings like this, he places the jokes and games aside for later. When he enters your room, he is silent for 30 seconds. Much too long. He was shocked; he walked around your hospital bed, pulled up a chair, and stared at your cast. It had many names written on it.

“Yes, I am ok.”

“I apologize for not being there for you,” he began to say.

“Shh… it’s ok. This is life. It hurts like hell, but I’m a trooper!”

Admiring your cast and its multiple fonts of handwriting and messages, he grabbed a sharpie marker, wrote his name, with a heart and spade next to it. Surprisingly, his cursive was very neat and legible.

“I didn’t know you knew how to write in cursive! Why don’t you write me letters?”

“I see you every day and it hurts my hand.”

The doctor wouldn’t be in for another 1 ½ hours, so Hisoka used your thigh as a pillow as he took a nap. He had been up for countless nights thinking about you. He was screwing up so bad, Chrollo let him leave early.

“As soon as your better, we will fight again. I won’t go easy on you. You won’t be in the hospital but you get the jest.”

Illumi

Illumi isn’t the type of man to overreact in these types of situations. When you both agreed to date each other, you knew you all were tough cookies. You were aware of the dangers of dating an assassin and he knew about the dangers of dating a bounty hunter. People hated you both and you targeted.

One night you both were caught in a vulnerable state. While you both enjoyed chocolate milkshakes at a laid-back 1950’s styled diner, two men were previously thrown out for fighting. While your back was turned one of those men shot your arm, causing you to carelessly throw your body to the ground due to impact.

While everyone else was screaming, Illumi jumped to the ground and tied his hair tie around your arm to temporarily stop the bleeding.

“Illu, why does it feel cold in here,” you managed to breathe out.

His heart dropped to his stomach for the first time in history.

“Don’t say things like that!”

Illumi is already horrible at displaying emotions, but all he could do is frown in fear. Once the EMS came barling in, he demanded that he ride with you.

Illumi hadn’t experienced anything like this since Killua had been injured when he fell from a tree.

You and he were separated when you were rushed into surgery leaving him alone in the waiting room.

When Illumi is stressed and cannot properly display how he feels, he tends to act in “odd” ways.

He begins to furiously turn pages in magazines or bother the receptions every 2 minutes about the status of your surgery. When the woman finally says that you’re still alive, he tones it down a little.

Illumi is open to conforming advice from strangers; he has been receiving it secretly from strangers. Since Silva was busy abusing him, he often found comfort from “the streets”.

He has a bad habit of pacing back and forth and fidgeting in his seat while horrific images fill his mind. All he has seen is pain and even though he was used to it, he didn’t want you to go through it as well.

While sitting in his seat (finally!) and head in his lap, doubled over indescribable sorrow, a little girl walks up to him with her hands folded and a doll under her arms. Illumi feels her presence and looks up. The girl’s curly hair covered her endearing eyes and her smile is wide.

“They’ll be alright. I just know they will,” turning around returning to her mother, the girl said with confidence.

On cue, Illumi placed his hand over his heart, smiling just a little.

He walked quickly to your room once you were out of surgery.

His speed walk mimics one of a soldier; his left arm in since with his right leg. His shoes echoed throughout the hall.

As soon as he enters the room, he shuts the door harder than usual and gives you a tight embrace. This surprises you! You’re lucky if he lays his head on your shoulder!

Illumi had been working out lately. He wanted to beat you in the “squish the melon” contest. He is very competitive and even if he lost, that doesn’t hurt his ego. Not in the slightest. Since it was just the both of you alone, he bends down to hug you tight, so tight that your face is squished against his.

This behavior is only surprising because he usually doesn’t coddle you even when you get hurt, but this time he realized that you could have died from the gunshot wound.

After that he kissed your forehead and almost simultaneously the doctor barreled in just missing the sweet moment between you and your beau.

Chrollo

When Chrollo is holding meetings with the Phantom Troupe, he always appears to be neutral. That is very important. A leader has to show strength even through the worst/hurtful times of their lives.

Chrollo had gotten a call from Nobunaga that you had gotten hurt on a mission and had actually gotten captured by the enemy. Phinks was able to get you back but you suffered horrible injuries.

This is protocol; they do this for any of the members. The troupe was oblivious to the fact that you and Chrollo were dating. They thought you were here to replace Uvo.

In situations like this, he is calm on the outside but screaming on the inside. Common sense will tell you if you are startled by the news you’ve just received and you begin to drive, you could cause more harm on the way to your destination.

Chrollo is very silent; he doesn’t call to check on your status or anything; he would rather see it for himself.

You were a trooper! After all, you are dating a dangerous robber.

Chrollo already knew what room you were in so he just went.

“I knew I should have kept y/n by my side. Y/n insisted on doing my dirty work that they almost died! How foolish could I have been?” He constantly cursed himself for letting his guard down with you.

He always gave you room to think and complete your own tasks but he can’t help his protective nature; one he has for the troupe but times 10.

His childhood friends had been shot by law enforcers, his home was horrific, and the last thing he needed was for you to be gone. You were keeping him afloat in society.

When he opened the door, Phinks was sitting in a chair, one leg over the other, laughing at a TikTok video.

Nobunaga on the other hand was watching the world news and seemed invested that he didn’t hear Chrollo enter the room. Once they both saw, they stood to their feet.

“Y/n is ok boss. They suffered a few cuts and burns, but they're breathing.”

Chrollo’s straight face remained as he stared at you.

Chrollo’s silence is something the troupe has internalized as a sign of anger, rage, or both. When he didn’t speak and just stared, everyone knew that their next mission was going to be a brutal one.

Chrollo is a man that isn’t afraid to express how he feels. He could cry right now if he wanted to and no one would dare laugh at him or insult him. After all, Nobunaga cried when he realized Uvo was dead.

Nobunaga and Phinks excused themselves as they saw him place his hand over his mouth.

Once the door closed, He pulled up the chair, grabbed your hand, and gently squeezed it. His warmth woke you up instantly and you turned your head. You winced in pain causing Chrollo to jump from his seat, moving to your right side so you wouldn’t turn your head too much.

“I’m glad you're alive, darling. What were you doing putting yourself in danger? Feitan could have handled the beast!”

He isn’t trying to doubt your ability to fight, he’s just concerned for your safety. Even so, why would he insist that you join the spiders?

A tear dropped from his face as he silently kissed your hand three times. You smiled warmly and placed your right left hand on top of his.

“I am fine, boss. You need not worry. I’m a trooper, remember?”

He placed your hand against his dry cheek and continued to kiss it. You were his lifeline and he wanted to spend every moment with you.

[rens-garden]

-arcade date-

nsfw, izuku midoriya x top m!reader

warnings : semi public, degradation, bathroom

"haha, yes! i won again!" izuku exclaimed next to me.

right now we were on a date at an arcade, and he had been winning a lot. I'm actually really good at arcade games, but right now my eyes were on his adorable face, not the game screen. the way he smiled so brightly with a little blush on his cheeks everytime he beat me felt way better to me than winning some game could. he looked at me with a smile still on his face.

"hey y/n, you weren't even paying attention to the game were you" he said with a playful pout. god, my heart. i pinched his cheeks and smiled, and his face grew red. "i'm sorry cutie. i was too busy staring at your adorable face." after i finished the sentence he became even more red and started stuttering over his words.

"u-um anways, h-haha! let's go um play that game over there!" he grabbed my hand and looked away, probably to hide his blush. so cute. he ended up dragging me to the basketball games where you try to get as many balls into the hoops as possible. he became competitive and wanted to see who between us could get more in the hoops. i took my place at the basketball game next to him and we popped in our tokens.

30 seconds later, i won 13 to 6. i chuckled at how frazzled he seemed. he was a bit of a sore loser, but it was cute to see him try to come up with excuses as to how he lost and then pout when he couldn't come up with something reasonable. i took a step towards him and ruffled his hair, something i loved doing because his hair was so fluffy and soft. his face was turning red more by the second and i felt the urge to keep that blush on his face.

a part of me wanted to see that red face in ecstacy, but i shook those thoughts away.

"why don't i show you how to properly throw them, hm?" i said to him with an innocent smile while staring into his beautiful green eyes. "ah, uhm, sure!" he said, looking down at his shoes. i wanted to see his eyes again, so i lifted his chin with my pointer finger and slowly went in for a kiss. normally he would've accepted, but he was nervous with pda, so he blocked my mouth with his hand with a flustered expression.

"aahhhh! y/n!! w-what are you d-doing !? we're in public!" he frantically looked around and i felt a pang of guilt so i cupped his cheeks after he lifted his hand from my mouth. "i'm sorry, izuku. you were just so cute, i couldn't help but want to kiss you." his eyes were staring back into mine, and he responded, "it's o-okay... you just caught me off guard. i-i want you to kiss me- j-just wait until we're in private" the look on his face was so precious, so i slid my hand down to his hand and squeezed it.

"okay, now let me teach you how to properly play this game." i laughed, and he nodded in response. i popped a couple more tokens into his machine, and stood right behind him. he grabbed one of the basketballs and i held the outside of his hands, showing him the proper stance and telling him to throw it. it landed right in the net, and he excitedly cheered with a little jump. when i stood behind him i thought nothing of how close i was, but when he cheered, his ass had rubbed against my crotch a bit, and i had to bite my lip to hold back any noise. i was staring at the back of his neck when he snapped me out of my daze by asking me to help him for the next one too. i coughed and nodded, reaching to hold his hands again. now that i was getting a hard on, i was so much more aware of every spot we touched and how much i wanted to touch him more. right before he threw the ball, i blew my hot breath on the side of his neck, which made him tremble and miss.

"y-y/n? what- what was t-that for- i mis-" he was cut off when i pressed my half hard on into the back of his ass, making his breath hitch.

"sorry cutie, but you did this to me, and it would be great if you could take responsibility for it." i whispered into his ear. i felt him shiver under my touch, and i could see the blush on his cheek from the side. "but y/n- w-we're in the arcade- a-and anyone c-could see-" i was discreetly grinding my crotch into his ass, and he was trying his best not to let out a moan.

"then why don't we go to the bathroom? careful though, if you look so adorably ruined so soon, someone might catch on." he was biting his lip and nodded in response.

i grabbed his wrist and led him to the bathroom. i checked all of the stalls for people and pulled him into the last stall when i confirmed we were alone. i lightly shoved him against the stall wall, and pushed my lips against his. There wasn't a hint of defiance in his body language and i loved it. i grinded my crotch against his and shoved my tongue in his mouth at the same time, making him moan around my tongue. i could feel my pants tightening with every movement. i put my hand under his shirt and massaged his love handles that i loved so much. he draped his arms over my shoulders and around my neck for support as i grinded faster. I pulled away from his mouth to breathe and there was a string of saliva connecting our mouths. Deku whined beneath me.

"y/n.. m-more- please-" he begged with a red face and tears of pleasure welling up in his eyes. he looked so beautiful. i nodded slowly and slid my hand around his waist towards his ass. i kneaded his ass cheek making him whine under me.

"i love the sounds you make, sugar. you sound so wrecked and cute." i whispered lowly into his ear, making him shudder. i wanted to tease him more, see more of his cute little wrecked face. without warning i slipped a finger into his hole and he moaned loudly. i cut him off with a kiss, hushing him.

"shh, baby, or someone will hear your beautiful sounds." i started moving my finger in and out, and eventually put in a second one. i looked down at his face to see him biting his lip with his eyes shut closed. his face was flushed red, and even with him biting it i could see his lip quivering. my hard on was already making my pants tight, but my dick just got even harder the more i saw his adorable face. i shoved my hard on against his again, and grinded even harder than i had before.

"w-wait- it feels too- too good, y/n-! if you- t-touch both my ass and d-dick i w-won't be able t-to stay quiet-" he said between breaths, yet i could feel him grinding back.

"you need to stop saying such cute things and making such lewd faces or you're going to make me want to make you cry out my name," i said, "and it would be a shame for someone to find us and stop us." i slid in a third finger, and started spreading him open more.

"i-i- can't help it! it feels s-so intense- b-but so g-good-" he put his head in the crook of my neck and moaned into it. shit, i'm actually going to lose it. "sorry izuku, but i need to put it in right now or i might explode." i turned him around hastily and undid his belt, letting his pants and underwear pool at his ankles. he held his hands against the wall of the stall and stuck his ass out, making me groan at the sight.

"p-please- put it in- f-fuck my ass- i- i want it so bad-" he pleaded, and i lost it. i thrusted into him all at once, making him cry out a little, but i turned his head towards me and kissed him, making his moans muffled with my mouth. i waited until he pulled his lips away and said it was okay to move before pulling out slowly and thrusting in fast, and doing this a few times before he whimpered.

"p-please- ah- faster- i-if you go so s-slow i won't b-be able to handle it..!" the way his moans sounded made my dick throb against his walls and he clenched around me in response. fuck. i was so close to moaning so i bit down on his right ear lobe and flicked my tongue over it, and i felt him tremble against my chest. i pounded into his hole faster and he only clenched tighter. i rested my chin on his shoulder as i kept my pace and groaned in his ear.

"ugh, fuck.. izuku, you're so damn beautiful. i love you so much.." i couldn't help but tell him what i was thinking. i knew that i had to let him know how incredible i thought he was.

"ah! i- i love y-you too! s-so mu- ah! so much!" he cried out with every harsh thrust. after a minute or so, he reached out with a shaky hand and held my hip.

"h-hold on.." he said timidly, and i immediately stopped and put my hand on his cheek.

"i'm sorry, was it too much? are you okay?-" i almost started rambling but then he cut me off with a kiss.

"I'm m-more than okay.. i want t-to ride you, y/n.." his voice was shaky and sounded so shy and ruined, and i felt my heart skip a beat.

i smiled and gave him a loving kiss before sitting on the toilet and pulling him on my lap. we were facing each other, and his hot breath was brushing against my chest. he lifted himself up and i spoke up.

"do you want some help, angel?" i rested my hands on his waist, prepared to help if he said yes.

"n-no, i want to do it m-myself.. i want t-to make you feel good.." he said as he sunk down onto my cock and cried out. my breath hitched in my throat and i muttered a fuck under my breath. this new position felt so different in the best way possible. he put one hand on my shoulder and the other in my hair, then raised his hips and sank back down again. i groaned, and he shakily continued. i ran my eyes over him and how his body looked in this moment. his face was scrunched up with his eyebrows knotted, his eyes fazed over with lust and filled with tears of pleasure and drool was falling down his chin. his expression was the epitome of lewd, and it sent shivers down my spine.

"Izuku~ have i ever told you how beautiful you are when you're pleasuring yourself on my cock like a little slut?" i asked with a smirk on my face, and i felt him clench around me at the degrading term. i chuckled inwardly at this.

"oh.. did you like that, slut? did you like me calling you out for being the dirty whore that you are?"

i felt his breathing quicken against my chest and i could tell from the look in his eyes that he was close to cumming. as much as i wanted to make him feel good, i also wanted to hear him desperate for more. i put my hands on his waist when he landed at the base of my cock and held his hips down. he held himself upright by resting his hands against my chest.

"no- y/n..! p-please.. let go.. let me continue! i want more- please.. please-" his pleas were too angelic, and i decided to let him continue and more. i stopped pressing his hips down and just rested my hands firmly on his waist. izuku took notice of the loss of pressure to keep him down and let out a string of tiny 'thank you's before continuing to bounce on my cock. he was probably expecting me to sit back and let him ride me until we came, but i wasn't about to let him have all the control.

using the hands i had on his waist i helped lift him and down, while also thrusting up into him harshly. izuku cried out in surprise, but i quickly took one of his hands and shoved it over his mouth before continuing with the rough pace. he made tiny cries at every deep thrust into him, which only encouraged me to keep fucking him harder.

"ah! p-please- please more- i'm gonna cum- please m-make me cum-"

i wrapped my fingers around his flushed slender cock and only pumped it twice before izuku's cum spurted across both of our chests. i thrusted into him a few more times before following him in climax and filling him with my cum. izuku became limp in my arms and rested his head in the crook of my neck while breathing heavily.

after a few moments of collecting our breaths, i slowly lifted his chin with my left hand and ran my right finger through his cum and licked it off, my eyes never leaving his.

"tasty."

izuku quickly returned to his usual nervous self and his face grew red after realizing what i had just done.

"y-y/n! w-why would you d-do that!" he whisper scolded me and i chuckled and pulled him into my arms again. "y/n- we should clean up and go- w-what if someone heard us! oh god why did we do that!? what if-" i knew he was about to go into one of his infamous rants, so i quickly shut him up with a kiss.

"it's fine, angel. the arcade games are too loud out there for us to be heard by anyone. but sure, we can go home," a smirk made it's way across my face. "i wouldn't mind a round two when we get home though. you know i love when you can be as loud as you want." i muttered into his ear, and his face grew even more red as he nuzzled deeper into my chest.

"st-stupid y/n."

[tyonfs]

under the rain.

❝ it’s hard to believe that you want me too. ❞

PAIRING ▸ boyfriend!jaemin x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, some fluff, established relationship

WARNINGS ▸ dirty talk, praise, car sex, orgasm denial, overstimulation, exhibitionism, some aftercare

WORD COUNT ▸ 1912 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ this was an impulse-write i started a few days ago but i basically wrote 75% of it after the nct end of the year party video came out. jaemin is literally sososo pretty and omg seeing the new members and xiaohenyang with the rest of nct was everything ♡ i hope you guys enjoy this !! also psa this is reposted bc tumblr tags hate me

YOU DIDN’T EXPECT TO GET CAUGHT IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, NA JAEMIN.

The two of you were always too busy to see each other during the week. From college classes to football practice, Jaemin could barely squeeze in time for you. Rare moments like today, however, were when you could spend some quality alone time with him, away from friends and college lectures. Jaemin dedicated the entire day to you and only you, only for it to be ruined by the rainfall as you were walking back to Jaemin’s car from the movie theater.

You were drenched by the time you and Jaemin made it to the parking structure where his car was parked. Although the day had been perfect, from Jaemin taking you to your favorite coffee shop and then walking around with you downtown, you couldn’t help but feel somewhat gloomy because of the rain. You weren’t aware that you were visibly showing your exasperation until Jaemin wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling you into his warmth.

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin murmured into your neck, “I didn’t know it was going to rain.”

You shivered a bit at his touch and put your hands over his. “It’s okay. I just wish we could be together for a little longer.”

You knew he was disappointed, too. Jaemin always complained about not having the chance to see you whenever he could, so simple things such as weekend dates were precious to him. On top of that, he absolutely hated not seeing you happy. Na Jaemin didn’t exactly have all the time in the world, but he did everything in his power to not let things end on a sour note.

The rain pattered outside of the empty parking structure, so Jaemin pulled you closer and opened the door to the backseat. You weren’t very sure where this was going to go but, regardless, you let him slide into the seat and pull you onto his lap, closing the door as soon as you were inside.

“Jaemin?” you asked, voice dropping to a whisper.

“Shh.” Jaemin silenced you and slid his long fingers over your clothed clit, rousing a surprised whimper from you. He smirked at your immediate reaction and brought his lips to your ear. “You like that?”

“Fuck,” you breathed out and looked around your surroundings, a sudden spike of anxiety rising at the thought of being seen. Yet, somehow, it got you even more excited. “What if someone sees us?”

“Then let them enjoy the show.”

Jaemin was always so shameless when it came to things like this. When you met up before classes once, he tugged you into a bathroom and took you in one of the stalls; on another occasion, you visited him during football practice and he snuck away to make out with you behind the bleachers. It wasn’t like you were opposed considering you were often just as sexually frustrated as he was.

Now, you both needed this. After barely seeing your boyfriend all week, you had kept everything pent-up, and you knew he felt the same way. Jaemin ran his free hand up and down your body, feeling what he had longed for.

“You’re so gorgeous, Y/N,” Jaemin whispered, blowing air against your ear. “Absolutely fucking beautiful.”

He slipped his hand past your waistband, tracing his fingers along the v-line of your pelvis. You shivered at the feeling of his fingers grazing your skin, traveling down to rub your clit in slow, teasing circles. You rutted back against him, craving more friction, more touch. This only encouraged Jaemin to speed up his pace, fingers rolling around your tiny ball of nerves in a way that made you go crazy.

“Jaemin, we shouldn’t—ah!”

“What was that?” he cooed sickeningly, knowing the effect he had on you.

But this time, you weren’t going to comply. No matter how horny you were, you knew it wasn’t a great idea to go at it in a parking lot. You were ready to—

Jaemin slid two fingers along your soaking slit. “Do you have something to say, Y/N?”

—completely give in.

“P-please,” you begged in a whimper, “more.”

“Such a good girl.” Jaemin slipped a finger inside of you, his free hand sliding up your shirt to feel you up. He slid his finger in and out of you, getting you more wet until he asked, “Want another one?”

You nodded quickly, breath hitching as Jaemin slid another finger in. Your walls tightened around his fingers but Jaemin didn’t slow down his pace. He pumped even faster, rousing a moan from you when his long fingers hit a certain spot that made your head go fuzzy. You felt a tingling sensation all over your body, warmth knotting in your stomach. You just wanted Jaemin to finish you off, but you knew that wasn’t his style.

You let out a moan that sounded about an octave higher, and Jaemin took it as his cue to pull his fingers out. You immediately whined, rolling your hips back against his. Your boyfriend tutted at your impatience and lifted his fingers to your lips.

“Suck,” he ordered, wanting you to taste yourself. You obeyed and held his wrist to suck on his fingers, and Jaemin bit back a groan. “Such a pretty mouth.”

He pulled his fingers away from your mouth once he was satisfied and tugged at your hips. You swiveled around so that you were straddling his lap, sitting on top of Jaemin’s painful erection. He reached up to move your hair out of your face, just admiring your features for a moment. It seemed as if he was frozen in time then, as if the world was just you and him in his car.

“It’s hard to believe,” he murmured, tracing his finger along your collarbone, “that you want me too.”

“Of course I do,” you whispered back, pouting at his statement. You wished he didn’t have to feel so insecure, but you understood that it was hard when you couldn’t see him all the time. “I love you.”

Jaemin smiled at your words, mumbling an “I love you too” as he grabbed the back of your neck to pull you down for a kiss. You kissed him back fervently, allowing him access to every part of you, letting his tongue roam your mouth and his hands roam your body. When you let out a gasp at the feeling of Jaemin’s hands gripping your ass, he seized the opportunity to kiss down to your neck.

“Jaemin, please,” you whined. “I need you.”

He pulled away for a moment, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before unbuttoning his pants for you. You moved off of him to take off your pants, too, and when you came back to him, you were dying for his touch again.

You both were silent for a moment, just heavy breathing and chests rising and falling before he said, “Ride me.”

You hesitated because you had expected him to take charge tonight. Now, you were feeling a bit nervous, but you stepped up to the challenge. Nodding, you tugged down his boxers to let his cock spring out. He was so fucking hard and you were so wet and ready to take him.

“Easy,” he murmured, guiding your hips down on him. A gasp escaped your lips as he entered you, adjusting your position several times before you could take him in fully. “No matter how many times I fuck you, you’re always so tight and perfect for me.”

Jaemin groaned as your walls clenched and unclenched around him. Jaemin tucked his head into your shoulder, holding the small of your back as you moved your hips up and down on him. Your boyfriend greedily groped every possible place he could pleasure you, and when he got to pinching your nipples, you felt like your head was spinning.

You thought Jaemin was getting unsatisfied by your careful movements because he held your hips with a bruising grip and pulled you down. You moaned, curling your fingers into his hair as you bounced on his cock. Jaemin groaned into the crook of your neck, dragging his lips up to whisper words of praise into your ear.

He was rough sometimes, yes, but Jaemin loved to love, and he showed it during sex. Despite how rough he liked to get, it was the simple gestures that really showed how gentle he could be. He would kiss every inch of your skin that if he thought he held you too hard, stroke your hair while he was pounding into you, and hold you close to him because more than the sex, he just wanted you in his arms.

“Might cum—gonna cum, gonna cum,” you moaned out, nails digging into his shoulders as Jaemin fucked up into you.

He held your hips as he angled his hips again to hit that one spot that left you in the clouds. Your arm shot out to the side, attempting to grab anything for leverage, which was when you noticed how the windows started fogging up. Jaemin pressed his thumb against your clit, sending waves of pleasure that dared to make you spill over.

“Hold it for me, pretty girl,” Jaemin ordered in a gentle voice, rubbing your clit in circles as he grinded his hips up into you. “Don’t cum all over my cock just yet. I wanna do it with you.”

You closed your eyes shut, biting your lip and nodding. You let out a loud whimper each time Jaemin thrusted up into you, complete with you bouncing up and down on his cock. Jaemin’s voice was raspy, growling filthy words into your ear that made butterflies flutter in your stomach, edging you even more.

By the time you had tears streaming down your cheeks, Jaemin decided he had overstimulated you enough. He pressed down on your clit a touch harder as he circled the little ball of nerves. Paired with his intense thrusts, you were losing your hold over yourself.

Jaemin looked up at you, desperation over his face. “Go ahead, Y/N. Be a good girl and cum for me.”

You didn’t waste any time and unraveled right in front of him, crumbling into his hold right away. Jaemin groaned, filling you up to your brim, and relief washed over you when you remembered you were on the pill. But Jaemin continued fucking you through your highs, hips stuttering to a stop when you both had grounded yourselves again.

The only sounds in the car were the distant pattering of raindrops and the heavy panting from you and Jaemin. You bit your lip as you got off of him, his cum dripping down your thighs. You frowned slightly at the mess because you knew he had nothing to clean it off with.

Jaemin looked solemn for a moment when you got off his lap. You both knew that once you two got back to your college campus, this dream would end and you would get back to the cold reality of schoolwork and club activities.

He held your hand, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin. “Will you stay the night?” he asked gently. “I want cuddles.”

You smiled at his words. “Of course.”

It was true that you and Jaemin rarely had time to see each other recently, but right now, under the pouring rain, it didn’t matter because you had each other.

[bukojuiice]

You got questions, I got answers tonight, babe.

ೃ pairing: (pro hero! katsuki bakugo x pro hero! fem reader)

ೃ  warnings: nsfw (18+)

ೃ genre: smut

ೃ word count: 2,139 words

ೃ  my nav  →  my mha writing masterlist  → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

  ೃ  shoto’s valentines fic → izuku’s valentines fic  → virtual valentines hcs 

ೃ  please reblog, reply or leave like if you enjoyed! it means a lot! c:

ೃ song inspo: love by dean ft. syd

ೃ you and the bakusquad drag bakugo to a short vacation after such an intense week of hero work, much to his annoyance. however, his stress and pent up energy was more than you expected, so you knew exactly how to release all his frustrations.

After an intense first week of Pro Hero activities, you were given a 5 day rest period. The Bakusquad had a wonderful idea of going on a short vacation to Okinawa before you guys have to face reality again.

You practically dragged your boyfriend, Bakugo to come along as he had second thoughts and didn’t want to ruin his so called “villain streak” by taking a well-deserved rest and relaxation when he could just continue fighting off villains.

Kirishima, Kaminari, Mina, and Sero were so excited for this trip that they could not shut up about it. In turn, Katsuki was more irritated than usual as you take the plane ride there. He was forced to go on this trip after all.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You had arrived late in afternoon and the first thing that you guys do as soon as you arrive at the hotel was dropping the bags in your respective hotel rooms. You and Bakugo were in one room while everyone else had separate rooms entirely to themselves.

Before you could even take a full look at the room you were staying in, your pink-haired friend came knocking on the door.

“(Y/N)-chan!” Mina spoke from behind the door, her gleeful voice ever so echoing. “We’ll meet you two at the swimming pool lounge okay? We’ll be ordering food already!”

“Alright! We’ll see you later Mina-chan!” You shout back, and as soon as Mina heard your words of confirmation, you could hear her footsteps as she walks away.

Bakugo continues to rummage through his things, cursing under his breath.

“Is there something wrong?” You ask him sweetly, poking his cheek. “Look, Katsuki-kun… you need to rest. It’s been an intense week, even the Hero Commission wanted us to-“

“Yea. Yea. I get it. Let’s go to the lounge.” He says harshly. He leaves the door open as you follow suit.

“That was… cold.” You blink, trying to process what your boyfriend had just said.

The two of you arrive at the lounge area however the rest of the Bakusquad was nowhere to be seen. Bakugo approaches a waiter and begins to order whilst you decided to go around the area to look for your other friends.

You were minding your own business when a weird and bad-intentioned man begins to approach you. You didn’t pay him any attention at first since you were occupied with looking for your friends, but the weirdo was persistent.

“A pretty girl like you alone in a resort like this?” He coos, trying to catch your attention. “I must be dreaming.”

“Piss off.” You snarled before he could even touch your arm, you quickly run back to Katsuki, as the weirdo loses sight of you. You slowly pace back to Bakugo who had an annoyed expression on his face. When you arrive at the area where he was standing, he grabs your hand and takes you to the elevator.

He clicks on the button that led to your floor and swipes the card key to your room, he comes to a sudden stop when you enter your dark hotel room, and he looks down at your hand in his like he’d forgotten he’d been holding it.

You pull Katsuki closer, twisting your hand around to take his more firmly.

His strong fingers fit perfectly between yours, and you know he can feel it too by the way he tightens his grip. His other hand settles on your waist, holding you against him, so close you can practically feel his heart beating.

“Did you really have to pull me out of the lounge area like that?” You pout seductively.

“Tch. (Y/N)….” He says your name in his low voice that sounds like an “I want you,” but you need to hear his actual words. You can see he’s so used to trying to brush things off that it’s an instinct, but he fights against it.

“Because I couldn’t stand to see an asshole try to make a move on you while I was at the other side of the area, waiting for the food. Who the hell gave him permission to even be within a few meters of you?”

His voice is irritated and strained. Your heart races under the intensity of his gaze, all his unspoken desire just beneath the surface.

  “It’s okay Katsuki-kun. You saw how I brushed him off… What did you take me back here for?”

He moves suddenly, backing you against the wall. You gasp, and then he’s right there, pinning you to the surface, hands on either side of your head.

As you shift, you hit the light switch, and the room is illuminated, revealing the bed. Katsuki goes still as he sees it.

“Of fucking course. Of course Mina would book one bed instead of two.”

His voice is tight, barely restrained. As if he wants to release an intense surging energy inside him. Your body is attuned to his tension. He’s coiled so tight, you feel it radiating off of him.

“Katsuki. Answer me. What did you take me back here for?”

His eyes drop to your lips. You feel his breath skimming against them.

“The way that fucking sleezeball loser looked at you… I couldn’t help it. You’re everything. And I want you more than anything.” Your stomach swoops at his intensity. He’s finally giving you the honesty you’ve been asking for but your conscience chimes in for a second.

“Katsuki…”

He brushes his thumb against your lips, and it’s like a bolt of electricity races through you, leaving you tingling for him.

His stare becomes more and more intense, as if he was craving for something.

“(Y/N), tell me. Right here, right now, what do you want?”

“It’s you, Katsuki. I want you.”

He sucks in a breath then crashes his mouth to yours. You both let out moans as he pushes you harder against the door and you pull him closer.

He kisses you hard and you melt at the feel of his lips and tongue, the sounds of your gasps and needy moans filling the quiet hotel room.

“Fuck. I’ll never ever get enough of this. Every time I kiss you, I get more desperate for the next one.” His throaty groan makes your stomach swoop again, and you tangle your fingers into his spiky hair.

You wink at him, your eyes giving off the same passion and love in his. “Then don’t stop.”

He brushes his lips against yours. It feels so light, yet the desire and the lust behind it is so powerful you can’t help but not resist.

“(Y/N)…”

A shiver runs through you as his mouth covers yours. Everything narrows to the feeling of his kiss, slow and intense like he’s taking his time tasting you.

His hands slide down to your sides to hold your hips, the heat of his body radiating against yours.

As your desire grows, you try to deepen the kiss to match the rate of your racing heart, but he draws back as it starts to get intense.

His eyes smolder, intense and teasing at the same time.

He nips gently at your ear and you arch against him. His hands slide up to grip your waist, pulling you tight to his body while still pushing you back against the door.

“(Y/N)… say my name again…”

You crash your lips to his again, feeling and pouring all your desire and impatience into the kiss. He grabs your wrists and pins them to the door above your head, his show of power making you giddy. You arch against him, and he sucks in a harsh breath, fingers digging into your wrists with delicious pleasure.

Katsuki’s eyes darken, and he captures your mouth with a desperate kiss, tongue sliding against yours, leaving you breathless. You tip your head back against the door as he runs his lips down your neck, nipping and sucking with every inch of his love.

He grabs your hips and pulls you off the door, steering you to the center of the room. You throw your arms around him and speak with your lips pressed onto his. You moan as he kisses down your neck, gasping as his teeth scrape against your skin and he soothes the spot with his tongue.

“(Y/N)…” He says demandingly. “I need you. Right now.”

He takes a step back and starts to undo the buttons of his shirt, but you still his hand with your own.

“Sit back and relax Suki-kun. Let me do it.”

He bites his lip at the term of endearment, or maybe at the thought of you peeling off his clothes.

You brush your lips against the corner of his mouth, and feel him shiver. His chest rises and falls as you continue to slowly unbutton his dress shirt, grinning wolfishly as you toss it to the floor.

“(Y/N)…” there’s an impatient growl in his voice. His hands flex at his sides, and you know he’s dying to touch you, to rip your clothes off.

“Shh. Your patience will be rewarded.”

You press your palm to the center of his chest, then drag it downwards over the ridges of his abs, following the path of his well-toned abs. He rolls his hips forward as you undo the clasp of his belt, and he catches your wrist in an iron tight grip.

“I can’t wait any longer.”

The hunger in his voice makes your brain feel like it stopped for a second, and before you realize it, he’s undressing you.

“Ah. Yes. I will never get tired of how impatient you are.” You shake your head yet feel nothing but arousal from the way he looks at you as he continues.

“I can’t help myself when you’re so irresistible,” He shrugs then smirks.

You help him undress you, and soon your clothes are lying in a heap on the floor. He hooks an arm around your waist and pulls you against him. You both moan at the feeling of your bodies pressed together, the heat emanating from the both of you.

Your stomach swoops as he spins the two of you around, backing toward the bed. He falls down onto the mattress and pulls you down on top of him.  He laughs, his voice husky at your look of surprise, bringing his hands to your waist to steady you as you lift yourself up to look down at him.

Still laughing a little, you lean down to kiss him, and it quickly grows heated as the intensity between the two of you spikes.

He’s still in his pants and you make quick work of the belt and zipper. He lifts his hips up to pull them off and throws them aside. 

You press your hand against his cock over his underwear, and he bucks against you, head thrown back.

“Ah…”

You feel the heat of his desire through the fabric, but what you want is right beneath.

 You close your teeth around the waistband and tug them down. He groans, lifting his hips to help you get them off. Once you cast his underwear aside, you wrap your lips around his member and suck briefly, a teasing touch that has him arching higher off the bed.

Before you could even process what had just happened, he throws a leg over you and flips the two of you over so that he’s on top and your legs are parted around his hips.

You call out his name as he roughly removes your underwear and creeps between your legs to tease his fingers against you, sending bolts of pleasure racing through all parts of your body.

“K-Katsuki…”

His mouth is hot against your neck as he speaks in a rush, hips rolling against yours.

“Make this one last the w-whole night,” you whisper in between breaths.

Lust flashes in his eyes and he growls deep, slowing the movement of his fingers against you.

You gasp as you feel him push into you, taking one of your hands and lacing his fingers with yours.

He sets a tantalizingly slow pace, making you groan loudly at the purposeful way he thrusts into you.

You grip onto his muscular shoulders, giving yourself over to the exquisite feeling as he bites back several deep groans of his own. He ducks his head to kiss your breasts, then begins to suck your nipples, sending shivers through your body as pleasure coils tighter and tighter inside you.

He stills suddenly, and you groan in a mix of pleasure and frustration, lifting your hips to search for more.

“You want this to last the whole night, huh? I’m going to give you what you want.”

You throw your head back as he starts moving again, your moans filling the room as he teases you toward that bliss, as you lose all sense of time.

_______

“(Y/N)! BAKUBRO!” You hear Kaminari knock on the door playfully. “Were you guys THAT exhausted that you did nothing but sleep yesterday!? We didn’t see you guys by the pool! Is something wrong? Are you guys sick!?”

You were cuddling with Katsuki after such an intense but amazing night, still wearing nothing, the blankets and comforters being the only ones shielding you from anything. 

“W-we’re fine Kaminari-kun.” You say groggily, Bakugo’s strong arms still wrapped around you, giving you all the warmth and comfort you need. “W-we’ll be down in an h-hour.” 

“Ok then! See you!” Kaminari leaves as soon as he arrives. You sigh softly and turn to your explosive boyfriend who was still sound asleep, you rest your head on his chest as you too, drift back to dreamland, excited for what else this vacation has in store for you.

-Fin. 

[carelessannie]

not really a prompt i guess but Tony introducing pull-ups/diapers in Peter’s first heat ??

Oooooo okay I like this. Of course I went a little overboard, so here’s a drabble for you anon!

I also picture this going with the drabble I did for @femmeparker’s prompt here, although you don’t have to read it first. It’s all fluffy and from Peter’s POV anyways

Hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: possible Starkercest, possible Underage with A/B/O dynamics, mild smut, mild medical kink, daddy kink, strange uses of feminine products 👀👀

Another. He looks down into the hamper, breath catching on a sob as he takes in four, five, six! Six pairs of soaking wet underwear, wadded up and stuck together, smelling overwhelmingly of his shame and slick.

Peter looks back down the hallway— no sign of Daddy— and runs to the laundry closet, snatching a few more towels. He ran out of toilet paper and napkins an hour ago, and needs something, anything, to help with the mess.

It’s odd, slipping a towel between his bare legs, tying it up high on his waist and feeling it rub, scratchy and stiff, against his delicate parts. They hurt to touch now, but he doesn’t care. At least he isn’t dripping anymore.

The door slams, and Peter blinks. Oh, he forgot Daddy ran out to the store. He can hear his Daddy’s low voice, urgent and severe— he must be on the phone.

“... but all they had was extra strength... no, I didn’t... okay, Doc, but if this doesn’t work...”

And Peter zones out, waddling with big steps back to the master bed. He sips on the bright pink Gatorade sitting on the nightstand, hoping that if he drinks a lot, like Daddy said, the cramps will go away.

They don’t. He clutches his stomach, yelping as stabbing pain shoots through his insides. Peter curls into a ball and tries to breathe, pressing down hard until the pain starts to fade, replaced slowly with a steady warmth and soothing voice at his back.

“Mmm, Daddy?” he rolls over, searching blindly for his Daddy’s embrace. He isn’t disappointed. Daddy sweeps him up, pressing kisses into his hair and all over his face that help distract from the cramping and the sweatiness.

“Yeah, baby— I’m here. M’sorry I had to go, but I’m back.”

Peter shivers a bit at Daddy’s tone, remembering the shower they took earlier before he left for the store. His Daddy was so gentle, so sweet, and Peter can’t help the small moans that escape him as Daddy pulls him closer, tucking him into strong, safe arms.

“Shh, it’s okay sweetheart,” Daddy whispers, putting one hand down the back of the towel-undies around Peter’s waist. Peter mewls, squirming at the touch, but Daddy just shushes him again, “Just checking if you’ve soaked it yet, Petey. Dr. Winston had a suggestion I wanted to try— can we do that?”

Peter looks up into Daddy’s wide, all-knowing eyes, and can’t help but smile. He nods, eager to please.

“Okay, here,” Daddy puts him on his back, stepping off the bed and reaching into his shopping bags. He shuffles around before throwing a few items on the bed— baby powder, wipes and tissues, ointment, mysteriously wrapped objects, and a few...

Peter gasps, “Daddy, no!” and gets up, meaning to crawl away. He feels firm hands on his hips, reeling him back in, and he cries louder, embarrassed at what the small items imply.

Daddy simply turns him on his back again, untying the towel and wrestling Peter on top of it.

“Peter. Hey, sweetheart,” he tries, and Peter flails harder, refusing to look at... it.

But Daddy grabs his hands, holding them together, and forces Peter to still, looking deep in his eyes. The ache is back, strong between his legs and horrifyingly shameful, because Daddy can see it, can smell it. Peter just sobs harder, wishing Daddy would hold him again.

“I will, baby,” Daddy promises, answering the plea Peter accidentally said out loud, “but you have to trust me. The Doctor said that sometimes Omegas have to wear special undies, to help them with their heats. I want to help you, Peter— can you tell me why you don’t want the undies?”

Peter sniffles, shaking his head and mumbling, “Big boys don’t wear diapers, Daddy.”

Daddy’s face softens, lips turning into an indulgent smile, “But remember, Petey, only big boys have heats like you do. And this isn’t a diaper, no. It’s special underwear, just for good Omegas like you.”

“... it’ll help with the... t-the slick?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, helps you feel better, too. Remember when I put my finger in you? How good that felt?”

“— Daddy!”

“Just like that, Petey. Then we can tuck in and go to sleep.”

Peter thinks about it. He hates the thought of wearing a diaper like a little boy, but Daddy said it’s underwear for good Omegas. He makes up his mind— laying back on the towel and spreading his legs for Daddy to see.

“Such a good Omega, Pete. I’m gonna talk through this, and you tell me if it hurts, okay baby?”

“M’kay, Daddy.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Peter watches Daddy grab the tissues and wipes.

“I’m just gonna clean you up, Petey. Make sure there’s nothing dirty down here.”

Daddy pushes his legs back, urging Peter to hold himself open. The air is cold on his exposed hole, and the touch of the tissue is shocking on his skin. He stares up at the ceiling as Daddy first dries him, then uses a wipe to clean him up, the cold and wet contrasting wickedly with the heat and fever at war in his body.

He shakes. “Daddy... I-I’m... I can’t...”

Daddy just leans forward and gives a small kiss under his thigh, patting his hip with a quick, “shh, you’re doing great,” before throwing the used tissue away.

He picks up a tube of ointment next, “I’m going to put this on the red spots that hurt, Peter. It’ll help them feel better.”

Daddy starts near his puffy entrance, massaging the thick liquid into his rim and even dipping a finger inside once or twice. Peter can barely control his noises, distantly hearing himself making an animal whining sound as Daddy squeezes more ointment on his fingers, rubbing them gently along his private parts. Behind his tiny balls, at the crease of his thighs, and along his cock— now straining and hard in Daddy’s grip— merciless hands rub and grope his vulnerable places. It’s teasing, but feels oh so good.

“Do you want to release, Peter?” Daddy murmurs, stroking his tiny cock firmly in one hand. Peter’s not sure. He just feels empty, and tells Daddy as much.

“Okay, okay. The Doctor recommended these—” he holds up the small, wrapped package, “and said they would be a perfect fit. I’m gonna put one inside, sweetheart. If it hurts, you have to tell me. Promise?”

“Mmm promise, Daddy.” Peter sighs, letting Daddy move his legs again, squeezing them together.

There’s a soft ripping noise as Daddy opens the package, and then he feels a cold pressure against his hole. “It’s gonna push inside a bit, and then I’ll push the plunger. This will send the piece of cotton deep inside, and will leave a small string on the outside for when we need to get it back, okay?”

Peter grips his legs tighter, “Kay, Daddy,” he agrees, breathing harder as the piece of plastic slides easily inside. It feels like Daddy’s fingers, but harder and unforgiving. And it doesn’t stop. Peter’s breath picks up as he feels the cotton press up against something, hard enough he can almost feel it in his throat.

Then the pushing stops. Daddy pulls the plastic out, leaving the little bit of cotton deep inside, and lets Peter lower his legs.

“How does it feel, baby?”

“Uh,” Peter wiggles, eyes rolling back as he feels it rub against his insides, filling him up, “s’good, Daddy. Feels full.”

Daddy just smiles, giving him a quick kiss. “Such a good Omega for me.”

Peter smiles back and hums, “What about the... the um... the undies?” He blushes, hiding his face and thinking about the last item lying on the bed.

He’s met with a chuckle from Daddy, “Alright, lift up one more time,” and Peter complies, grabbing his knees and letting Daddy back between his legs.

“I’m gonna powder you up and put the undies on, Peter. Then we’re going to drink the rest of this Gatorade and go to sleep.”

Peter pouts, thinking of the achy need between his legs, the need for release. But Daddy knows what’s best— he’ll take care of Peter when the time comes. While he’s busy focusing on his own needy cock and hole, Daddy keeps talking, applying powder and lowering Peter’s legs down into the cradle of his special undies.

Daddy kisses his tummy, blowing a raspberry just like when Peter was a baby, and moves lower to take Peter’s small cock into his mouth with just one slurp.

Peter’s whole body jumps, shocked at the sudden scorching pleasure, and it takes less than a minute before Peter’s emptying his release into Daddy’s mouth with a quiet whimper. He collapses down on the bed, spent and tired, as Daddy carefully wraps him up, pulling the undies snug around his waist.

He’s eyelids start to droop, struggling to stay open as Daddy helps him drink the last few sips of Gatorade. He clings to Daddy’s chest, thankful for the skin on skin contact, and feels his lips latch onto Daddy’s scent gland on his neck, suckling greedily as his eyes slip shut, wrapping him and Daddy, together, in the inevitable darkness of sleep.

[spxllcxstxr]

Bridge Over Troubled Water • R.L

(Gif not mine)

Requests: can you do a blurb with Remus where the reader is nervous and anxious, maybe has a tough week and he gives her a massage and helps her relax? — anon and Hi! can you write an imagine where the reader is dating Remus and is disappointed in her school grades / results and is overall doubting herself and is disappointed with herself? — @emmaev

Summary: Things are getting really tough. Remus is here for you.

Warnings: mention of food, not eating/skipping a meal, hunger, depression, anxiety, a bit of a panic attack, homework, school, self deprecating thoughts, kinda take how we’re feeling in this pandemic and that’s kinda what this fic is, Snape being an ass for like two sentences, crying

Word Count: 1.7k

A.N: I hope it’s alright that I combined your two requests. But, I decided to make it longer with a lot more comfort. I really hope it’s ok with you guys ❤️ Kinda a vent fic? So that’s why it’s lowkey all over the place and the ending is sorta..abrupt? I hope you like it, though. I wanna say that I’m always here for you guys. This whole thing has been kicking my ass and school has been extremely tough for me, so know that you’re not alone. Know that you’ve got this. I believe wholeheartedly in you. Love you all. ❤️

Title: Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water

****

You trudge up the stone steps to the boys dorms, your bag dragging heavily behind you. With your robes slipping from your shoulders and your tie dangling loosely around your neck, you almost consider letting your bag go. Watching the heavy sack of books tumble recklessly down the spiral staircase seems like a great idea to you. However, you make it to the sixth year dorms before you’re able to loosen your grip.

The oak door was closed but not locked. What use was a lock when the door was charmed to singe off the eyebrows of any unwelcome visitor? Thankfully, the boys granted you complete access to their room in third year, so the door couldn’t harm you.

Turning the brass doorknob and stepping through the threshold, you’re greeted by somewhat organized chaos.

Sirius and Peter’s side of the room was a complete disaster while James and Remus’ side was at least nicer to look at. Sure a few books were scattered on the floor and James’ red and yellow underwear was hanging from his bedpost visible to anyone who walked in, but that’s nothing compared to whatever the other two have going on. You don’t even want to look at it, knowing full well that just one tiny glance would make your already terrible day worse.

The room is empty and completely quiet, the boys, just like every other person in the castle, were down in the Great Hall for dinner. At the thought of dinner just downstairs, your stomach grumbles before quickly churning in agony.

Quickly, you dump your bag next to the door and go through Remus’ drawers, searching for that one specific jumper.

It’s the deep blue cable knit one that always smells like him. The jumper is soft and warm and the perfect piece of clothing to cuddle into when you needed a good cry. And Godric, you needed a good, long, ugly cry.

After finding it and throwing it on, you barely lift up your feet walking to your boyfriend’s bed to get swallowed up by his blankets.

The weight of the day hits you full force the moment your head collides with his pillow, and your lips wobbles, the day replaying in your mind.

Your morning started with a Transfiguration exam that definitely was not on what you studied all night for.

Then, your potion bubbled out of your cauldron and started disintegrating the stone flooring, making Slughorn shoot you very disappointed look that made you want to disappear into the Forbidden Forest forever.

Defense Against the Dark Arts turned into a complete disaster as well when Professor Bluebell handed back your essays on inferi, and yours ended up with a spikey red D scrawled angrily on the top. D, which stands for Dreadful, as Snape snidely reminded you from over your shoulder. He flashed you smug little smirk along with the delicate O that adorned his own essay.

And to top it all off, you had to meet up with Flitwick right after classes to go over the vinegar to wine charm that for some reason wouldn’t work for you no matter how hard you tried. And you still weren’t successful.

This was becoming a common occurrence.

You always knew that your N.E.W.T. year was going to be tough, but Merlin, you never expected it to be this awful.

Classes were longer and harder and your professors were relentless and unforgiving with the amount of homework and exams they started handing out.

Sure you had more free periods, but those were filled with research and essays and studying, you had no free time at all—it was all a lie.

You couldn’t escape it. Sleep was just more time to be plagued by anxiety to the point you barely even slept at all. Most of the time you stared blankly up at the ceiling thinking about all the assignments you could be doing instead.

It’s this torturous and vicious cycle that you just can’t get out of.

And your motivation was quickly disappearing.

It was getting tougher and tougher each time to even do your homework. Lifting up your quill and taking out a stack of parchment was just difficult. It took too much energy out of you.

Smothering your face in Remus’ pillow, you groan out your frustration, balling your fists around the frayed sleeves of the jumper.

You’re so wrapped up in your despair and panic that you don’t hear the door creak open and four sets of footfalls and laughter bounce around the room.

“Damn, what’s up with you?” Sirius chuckles. You hear him flop onto his own bed.

You bury your nose in the fabric of the jumper, inhaling the sweet and comforting scent of chocolate and old parchment that always accompanies Remus Lupin.

“Don’t be a git, Pads.” Remus scoffs, making his way towards you.

He crouches down by your head, placing a delicate thumb on your cheekbone.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” His tone turns soft, drenched with concern.

You squeeze your eyes shut tight, tears trickling down the bridge of your nose and dripping down to the white sheets.

“Alright, darling, hold on.” Remus whispers, placing a dainty kiss on your forehead.

He straightens up, knees creaking the way no sixteen year old’s should.

“Alright, lads, clear out.” Remus declares to his friends.

“You can’t kick me out of my room, Moony. No way.” You hear James whine.

“Yes, I can, Prongs, c’mon. Go play chess with Peter or something.”

“But he always beats me.”

“C’mon, Prongsie, we can scam the first years by making them place bets on you winning.” Sirius suggests. His boots click against the floorboards, trailing towards the door.

Peter’s light footsteps follow after them.

“Fine.” James huffs dramatically. “But I’m not sleeping on the couch again, so no funny business.”

The door slams shut and once again you’re met with silence, though you do hear Remus changing out of his uniform and into more comfortable attire.

The bed dips underneath Remus’ weight and his hand gently starts to stroke through your hair.

“Tell me what’s wrong, my love.” Remus mumbles just loud enough for you to hear.

You try to swallow down the lump in the back of your throat.

“Just a very shitty day, Rem.” You manage to croak out, the words choppy and wavering.

Tears begin to flow freely, warm salty streaks making their way down your face in rapid succession.

“Oh darling.” Remus coos, practically pulling you into his arms and between his legs. You bury your face into his neck, tears dampening his scarred flesh. “It’s alright, let it out.” He continues to run your hair between his fingers. “Let it all out...”

“I-I’m just so stupid!” You sob, choking on spit. “Everything’s just getting too much and I can’t fucking take it anymore!”

He squeezes you closer to his chest, opting to stay silent so you can vent everything off of your chest. His cheek is pressed to the top of your head and you’re vaguely aware that you’re being rocked gently back and forth.

“It’s so hard!” You continue to wail, lungs constricting rapidly. It’s a struggle to keep breathing and your words barely come out fully, instead broken fragments are the only things spewing out.

“I’m a failure!” You spit out, face wet with tears.

“You’re not a failure, my love. I promise.” Remus tried to soothe, his voice adopting a small but noticeable waver. His hand rubs your back.

“I am! I’m a disappointment!” You sniff, taking in deep gulps of air.

“Shh...” Remus pulls you back a bit so he can see your entire face.

You already know you look disgusting. Eyes blotchy and red, tears streaming down your face. Snotty, spitty, wobbling, and watery features taking up his entire vision.

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours, hm? Let me help.” He consoles you softly.

You gaze into his warm honey brown eyes, glistening with his own tears.

You sniff, rubbing the sleeves of Remus’ stolen jumper across your face in an attempt to dry yourself off.

“Everything’s slipping, Rem. My grades, my mental health, everything. And I’m so lost I don’t know what to do anymore.” You confess. “What am I supposed to do?” You bring your hands up to you hair, tugging at your scalp enough for you to feel sparks of pain.

Quickly, his own trembling hands take yours. He stops you from tugging, instead bringing them to rest on his jumper clad chest.

You swallow harshly.

“I’m going to help you, (Y/n)—“

“You can’t help me, Remus! I’m beyond help—“

“No, you’re not.” He retorts lightly. “I’ll help you with homework and help you ask for a few extensions...we can get you back on track.”

“Remus...” Your voice trembles at his kindness.

“I’m sorry.” He rasps out, a tear or two slipping from his waterline. “I’m so so sorry that I didn’t see you suffering like this. Merlin, (Y/n).”

Shaking his head at himself, he brings his forehead down to your own.

“I’ll be better. I’ll be better, I swear.” Remus keeps repeating in a pained mutter.

“It’s not your fault, Rem. I got good at acting like everything was fine.” Your voice cracks.

“Still! I should’ve realized!” He mutters angrily.

“I love you, Remus. I love you so much, please don’t beat yourself up over this.” You plead.

He bites his lip, deciding to drop it, instead focusing on you.

“Why don’t we try to relax, hm? Just take a nice night off?” Remus suggests, pulling away to brush strands of hair away from your sticky face.

“But what about homework—?”

“Tomorrow, love. I think we deserve a break, don’t you?”

You shlyly nod, and he presses his lips to your forehead.

“You’re beautiful, darling.” Remus whispers.

“I just bawled my eyes out, Rem, I’m sure I look like a swamp hag.” You snort.

He brings his hands to your shoulders, rubbing deep circles into your back muscles. The knots start to dissipate.

“Never seen a swamp hag as angelic as you.” Remus flirts. But his voice is so sincere and honest, you have no choice but to somewhat believe him.

“Thank you, Remus.” You smile. “It means so much to me.”

“Anything for the love of my life.” He confesses, trailing his pink lips down your neck. “Now let me hold you close.”

He lays down, resting his head on his pillow, your head resting on his chest.

Things are going to get better.

Probably not tomorrow.

Probably not this week.

But things will.

•

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20

[akabane-yum]

OTP Asks - All Of Them (9-16) <- Part One

For @toorumochi assass :P

For the Angst

9. Have they made each other cry?

Short answer: Yes

Long answer:

Karma knew that Gakushuu would be a difficult person to live with and that he was sensitive despite his hard exterior, but that didn’t mean he didn’t get annoyed too sometimes.

That night they were arguing about who knows what, saying things they didn’t mean, when the insults became half truths and eventually full truths that became insults. Karma said something along the lines of “Oh, and it’s not my fault your dad didn’t raise you right but it your fault that you’re becoming exactly like him, don’t ask me why I’ll need therapy more than twice a week after this.”

If it hadn’t already clicked to Gakushuu that they were fighting fighting before then, now he got the message. He ran out of the room without another word and Karma had to pace to cool down. Karma decided to sleep on the couch that night and only realized Shuu went off crying the next morning, when the air was cold and rigid and Shuu had tear stains under his eyes. Karma didn’t say anything though, he didn’t really know how to fix it. They ended up spending that whole day apart and eventually had a long talk.

———————

Gakushuu made Karma cry when he told him they’d probably end up breaking up. Karma was joking about meeting Shuu’s mom and Shuu just laughed saying he didn’t think they’d make it that far. That messed with Karma’s perception of permanence and what he thought they were. He thought they were gonna get married some day and that they were going to live together and... what? He tried to ask Gakushuu why he thought they wouldn’t make it and Shuu seemed unbothered. He said something about how they were incompatible in many ways and how they were both handfuls and how life would get harder and how Karma probably wouldn’t be able to handle all the weird changes in Gakushuu’s life because of how the businesses was booming. They said goodnight after that and Karma found himself outside at 3am taking a walk. He didn’t realize he was crying till he came home and Shuu asked him why he was crying. His first instinct was to say he was doing drugs but that would get them nowhere. Instead he said he didn’t want to talk about it, and they went to bed. He could think about permanence another day. And he did, they talked about both that and their insecurities going forward to try to salvage their relationship. (I can imagine that this is a few years into their relationship.)

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them.

In another post !

11. What causes them to fight?

The lighthearted answer would be: anything and everything. They fight over how many pillows they need but always laugh about it in the end.

Another answer would be: the fact that at the beginning of their relationship they were insecure about themselves. You know you really shouldn’t get into a relationship until you love yourself enough, at least in most cases. But for them I’m guessing that the mutual attraction was enough for them to get together, which isn’t always bad b u t for them they had a lot to unpack. It’s surprising and maybe even kinda toxic that they stayed together after the first part of their relationship but now they’re happy. I can imagine that they’re happier as adults at least, and that they still do fight over small things like the TV volume but those fights don’t even count as fights. It’s just a little conversation to keep them going yknow?

12. Do they have differing political opinions?

Kinda? Gakushuu is a businessman and probably took a course called “creating capitalism” so we can assume he’s pro capitalism, and on the other hand Karma joined the bureaucracy in Japan (and Japan is, if I’m not mistaken, a socialist country) so he’s probably at least pro socialism.

I just want to comment on how this is cool because Gakushuu being pro capitalism is a solo player as the CEO with the most shares of his corporation. Whereas Karma who we assume is pro socialism works as a bureaucrat for the government. Which is cool because capitalism is more about individuals climbing the corporate ladder and whatnot whereas socialism is more of a government intervention thing where the government has control and places limitations. (There’s way more to it but I tried to badly summarize.) So they’re both doing very well in their respective economies. That being said, we could go into the capitalist tendencies in Japan but we won’t! AHEM THE MAIN QUESTION WAS ABOUT POLITICS BUT I WARPED IT SORRY THEYRE PROBABLY BOTH MORE LIBERAL BUT I WONT GO INTO THAT.

Anyways to finish off explaining the “kinda” I answered with, I said kinda because I don’t think they feel strongly enough about their own (preferred) economies to argue about it. Though maybe Karma will complain about some of the disparity in wealth he sees between Gakushuu and others but honestly I don’t see them caring much, since they have the luxury of living in their own bubble of karushuu happy fun. I hope this blurb made sense.

13. Name something they would never do for the other person

Gakushuu would never give up his ambitions to be with Karma. Sounds sad but after letting go of some of those insecurities that were there at first, he’s found his self worth and won’t give up all his hard work for anyone. Is that selfish? Personally I don’t think so, because it would be selfish for someone to ask him to let go of his dreams for them. Karma would never do that anyway, so. By give up his ambitions for Karma I mean like if Karma were to ask Gakushuu to drop his work or him, he’d be dropping Karma.

Karma would never settle down entirely because Gakushuu asked him to. This is similar to the first one but I don’t think he wants to calm down and live in another tropical country and retire young just because they have enough money you know? Not like Gakushuu would ever ask him to slow down but if he did then Karma would still probably work a few jobs because of how boring life would be without something to do. This is basically like Gakushuu’s but I feel like Karma’s is less intense and he wouldn’t break up with Gakushuu right away because of this.

Take that as you will ^^

14. What would be a dealbreaker

This is the same as the last one I think. Telling the other to slow down and pick between their passions (for work lmao) or them. Since it’s the same ish for both of them I don’t think there would be that much of an issue though. Maybe if Karma killed Shuu’s cat then that would be a dealbreaker, who knows.

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

Karma dislikes how Gakushuu is a workaholic and Gakushuu hates how Karma is taller than him :P also how quick he is at making impulsive decisions. HmMm maybe also how Karma snores- that’s not even a trait i- anywayyyyssss

16. If they broke up, what would be their opinions of each other.

Oh boy. I’ve thought about this for not karushuu things too so here’s my take on this:

Karma would consider Gakushuu as an addition to the toxic people in his life. First his parents, then some of his teachers, and now his first boyfriend. He’d remember the happy moments they had together but quickly try to replace them with the sadder memories. He’d try his best to paint Gakushuu is the worst lighting, he’d villainize (not a word but shh) him so he could go on thinking he didn’t do anything wrong and it was Gakuhsuu’s toxicness that tore them apart.

Gakushuu wouldn’t think of Karma. Not after a bit of time, not because Karma never came to mind again after the breakup, but because any thoughts of Karma would be illegal. Honestly I can see him thinking that his time with Karma was an era of weakness. He can’t go back to that weak state, not even in his memories, so he doesn’t. (Well maybe in the middle of the night some days he does but he’d never admit to that.) I hope my grammar here was bearable lmao.

I’m sorry I’m tired lmao I can’t proofread but yk :))) next part up soon!

[jonahlovescoffee]

Multitasking | J.M.

a/n: kinda cringe? idk but i don’t wanna let it stay in my drafts either so yeah lol happy reading <3

summary: you wanted jonah’s attention and he’ll give it to you, even though he’s on a phone call.

warnings: smut without coitus bc i’m lazy to write that part-

word count: 3040

“Jonah, your lovely girlfriend is here,” you chirped happily when you entered his house a spring in your step, excited to finally be able to spend some alone time with him, something you hadn’t done lately because of him being busy with all the necessary preparations for the new album’s release while your schoolwork had been taking up too much of your time. However, your face fell immediately when you were greeted with the sight of him on his phone, chatting away with someone. It was supposed to be just the two of you today making full use of the rarely empty house. His face lit up when he saw you, but he made no move to end the call. You nudged your head towards his phone with your arms crossed in front of your chest, urging him to end it or else you’ll choose to end him instead.

“Just one more second, I promise,” he told you, pulling you down to give you a quick kiss in a weak attempt to wipe the evident scowl off your face. “It’s important.”

You rolled your eyes and plopped down on the empty seat next to him. “Fine, but make it quick,” you prompted, taking your phone out to hopefully find some ways to entertain yourself for the time being. He wrapped an arm around you in a silent apology, which you responded with laying your head on his shoulder as he continue talking.

“Yeah, y/n just came over,” he said and you heard a vaguely familiar voice speaking from the other side of the phone, but the sound was too muffled for you to decipher it into coherent words. “Daniel, we can talk about your music ideas another day.”

You internally groaned when you heard the name of your friend’s boyfriend and the mention of music ideas because you knew Daniel long enough to know that it always took ages for him to finish rambling about all his new musical creations. You usually wouldn’t complain about that because you were a huge music buff yourself and having the chance to discuss music with someone as enthusiastic as him was a gift from god but he should know that now wasn't the right time to do so.

Another reply came from the other end of the phone. Jonah seemed to hesitate for a while before offering an answer this time, glancing sideways at you to make sure that you weren’t about to explode with anger. You sighed but sent him a soft smile and he mouthed a silent “you’re the best” in return. “Okay, okay, let’s hear it then,” his hand found yours and gave it a light squeeze.

You scrolled through your chat log to find Emily’s contact, before sending her a message to ask for help. Is there any way you can shut your boyfriend up? Because he is stealing mine from me.

A reply came mere seconds later. LOL I’ll see what I can do.

Just when you were about to thank her, your phone vibrated and another message from her appeared on the screen. Fuck. The studio door is locked and I forgot where he keeps the keys.

You swore the next time you saw Daniel, you were going to hurl all six feet of him into the pool and make him drown. Wow, I can’t believe my luck today.

Don’t be such a whiner. You can try to make Jonah pay attention to you instead ;) She suggested and an idea popped into your head right away.

Have I ever told you how much I love you?

Ahh I love you more bb <3 was the last reply from her before she went offline, the green dot beside her profile picture disappearing.

You put your phone back into your bag and turned towards your boyfriend to find him still deeply engrossed in his conversation. You shrugged his arm off you and moved your body to assume the position on top of one of his thick muscular thighs, facing him. He raised an inquisitive brow. You wrapped your arms around his middle and nuzzled into his neck, inhaling the alluring scent of him that did nothing but fed your lust.

“I want you so bad,” you whined softly, earning a stroke of your hair from him, his hand subsequently sliding downwards to rest at the small of your back, his touch leaving a trail of goosebumps down your spine.Your hands did their own exploring too, your fingers tracing the curves and edges of his shoulder blades down to his biceps, humming in satisfaction at all the new muscle you found beneath your fingertips. He hadn’t been joking when he told you that he had been working out a whole lot more lately. The more of him that you felt, the more uncomfortable your southern region became.

Jonah felt it all—the heartbeat between your thighs, the wetness that seemed to be soaking through your pants, the subtle grinding of your body against his thigh, and how the member in his pants seemed to awaken at your movements. Suddenly Daniel’s words through the phone didn’t seem to make sense when they entered his brain that was currently a complete mess. He put his phone away for a moment to whisper into your ear, “Look at you, can’t even go a few minutes without wanting something, huh, baby?” His voice was husky and deep, exactly the way you loved it, and you almost came from the sound alone. He used his hand to help you rock harder against his thigh, urging you to speed up which you did willingly, finally able to relieve some of the pain from your core.

Your whimper was enough to answer his question. He kissed the tip of your nose. “Ride my thigh, sweetheart,” he ordered, brushing a thumb over your lips. “But be a good girl for me and be as quiet as you can, okay?”

You nodded obediently and he returned to his phone call like nothing ever happened. You bit your bottom lip forcefully in order to prevent moans after moans from escaping as you, the friction between your clit and his thigh putting your mind in a blissful daze. “Fuck…” you breathed near his ear, the sound taking him by surprise making him stop talking mid-sentence, hazel eyes glancing to the side to see your half-lidded eyes and lip that was colored in a shade of bright red from sinking your teeth into it too hard, completely forgetting what he was planning to say to his friend.

“Jonah?” Daniel’s voice sounded, snapping Jonah back to his senses.

“Yes? wait a moment bro, got something to settle first, be right back,” he said, placing his phone on the armrest of the couch to focus on you. “Feels good baby?”

“Uh huh,” you said, not expecting him to bounce his knee in a steady rhythm afterwards with so much vigor that you instinctively moved your hands to his shoulders to steady yourself, rolling your hips as you ground yourself down on him hungrily. Feeling your greedy little hole clamping down around nothing as you felt your climax nearing.

“What about now?” he drawled, chuckling darkly when you started to let all sorts of whimpers and mewls fall from your lips. “Tell me, pretty little slut, how good I’m making you feel,” he lifted a hand up to your face to trace your jaw tenderly. Once. Then twice. Then replacing his touch with his lips.

“So fucking amazing, Jo,” you could barely get the words out as you unabashedly ground yourself down against him, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the overwhelming sensation, gasping in surprise when his palm moved to spank your ass. The movement made you grind against his firm thigh perfectly as you forgot his earlier warning to stay quiet and cried out.

“Shh, keep it down, baby,” he coaxed, his lips curving into a smirk as he beheld your desperation to chase your high, each of your movements getting sloppier than the last. “He can still hear you, you know?”

Another whimper. “I...I’m close, Jo,” you managed to say before grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and burying your face in the crook of his neck, though the movement of your hips remained unfaltered.

He tilted his head a little to press a kiss into your hair. “Cum for me all over my thigh, sweetheart.”

Jonah’s husky voice was the catalyst you needed to send you hurtling over the edge, feeling that coil inside you snap as your orgasm washed over you, his name spilling from your lips in a loud cry, your toes curling as you were completely engulfed in ecstasy. His grasp on your waist remained strong as he continued bouncing his knee, slightly slower than before, not allowing you to move back as he kept grinding your cunt against him, letting you ride out your high. “Shh, you’re getting too loud, baby,” he placed a finger on your lips when you continued moaning his name repeatedly as your puffy clit got overstimulated, although he absolutely loved the way his name rolled off your tongue like a prayer. He felt a certain something straining harder against his designer jeans, yearning to break free.

“Look at what a mess you made because you couldn’t wait for me to finish my phone call,” he tisked disapprovingly, his gaze dropping to his thigh, his hooded hazel eyes looking between your bodies at the darkened wet stain you had left against said jeans with glee, even more when he saw your pants that were utterly soaked with your release. He stopped bouncing his knee then, earning a dissatisfied whine from you. “Enough of thigh riding, sweetheart, your pants are ruined,” he grabbed his phone and released his grasps on you before whispering, “Now turn around. Let me help you get them off you.”

You did as he told, your back now leaning against his chest as he pushed your pants down, followed by your panties and you kicked off both of the garments when they pooled at your knees. He raised his phone towards his ear as his other hand glided over the swell of your hips to your front, his knuckles brushing over your core gently. He started drawing slow circles over your clit with the pads of his fingers, causing you to arch your back into him more.

“Nah, it’s nothing serious. Wes just broke another glass again, that’s all,” he lied to his best friend, the pace of his fingers increasing as he put more pressure on your clit, making you a squirming mess in his arm. Unable to keep you steady with only one arm around you, he put his phone on speaker mode and placed it back onto the armrest before sliding the now free arm around your waist.

“You sure? Because I heard...umm...something and it sounds nothing like shattering glass,” Daniel stated, but Jonah remained pretty unfazed unlike you whose breath caught in your throat immediately, dreading the possibility of getting caught. However, all your worries were immediately forgotten when he dragged a finger ever so gently up your glistening folds that were already slick with your juices. You instinctively rolled your hips against his finger, yearning for as much friction as he could offer.

“Then you must’ve heard wrong. Now, where were we?” Jonah said nonchalantly before sliding a finger into you and your jaw fell slack as you moaned at the sudden intrusion. He pumped his finger slowly to stretch you out but you weren’t content with it. You wanted more so you let your hand travel to your bundle of nerves but before you could do anything, he grabbed your wrist with his free hand. Words didn’t need to be conveyed between the both of you for you to get his message just from the look he gave you that clearly said he didn’t want you to interfere.

“Okay, so I thought of this melody…” you tuned them out, solely focusing on the overwhelming pleasure that he gave you with nothing more than a finger and before you knew it, you could feel your walls clenching harder around it that continued to thrust in and out of you non-stop as he maintained a casual conversation with his best friend.

“Nngh, Jonah,” you whined, “Faster, faster, gosh.”

“Quiet,” he whispered sternly between his sentences just as he slipped another finger into you and you bit his neck on instinct to stifle your moans, making him groan right in the middle of their conversation.

“What the actual fuck was that?!” Daniel exclaimed in horror.

“Nothing,” he shot you a glare but your eyes were screwed shut with pleasure so you couldn’t see it. “But I really really have to go now, bro, I’m so sorry.”

“Wait a minute,” Daniel said just as Jonah’s finger hovered inches above the red end-call button. “Is y/n there with you? Like right next to you?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Please don’t tell me you guys were...umm...doing it while you were talking to me because the weird sounds kinda sound like,” an obvious gulp. “Her.”

“Daniel what is wrong with you today? First you hear weird noises then now you’re trying to accuse me and my girl for having sex while I’m on the phone with you? Well lemme tell you something, Daniel,” Jonah’s fingers thrusted into you quicker, matching the swift pace of his thumb that was furiously rubbing your clit, making you a writhing mess on his lap. Soft moans left your lips since you were unable to compress all of the sounds that threatened to escape.

“Y/N and I would never,” He slammed his fingers knuckles deep into you. “Ever,” His fingers curled inside you and you sucked in a shaky breath. “Do something like that,” He started doing patting motions, hitting all the right places, almost making you scream as your eyes rolled to the back of your head in ecstasy, unable to focus on anything else save for the overwhelming pleasure that he gave you. “Right, love?”

He has to be joking. He can’t seriously expect you to—

“Open your mouth and talk, baby,” Jonah’s voice was soft but authoritative when he spoke into your ear, a smirk present on his face. He knew that it was nearly impossible for you to do anything, especially talking, when you were so close to your climax but all in all, he was still someone who loved testing and pushing you past your limits.

“Yes...I...we,” you stuttered as you whimpered softly after each word, his fingers never stopped working their magic inside you. He placed kisses all the way up to your ear from your shoulders before starting to nibble your earlobe. You couldn’t search for the right words to say, let alone speak without giving away the fact that you and Jonah were indeed doing it while having his conversation with Daniel. “We are not doing anything,” you got all your words out in one breath, a little too fast for them to sound extremely convincing but still good enough for Jonah to give you an approving hum.

“Good girl,” Jonah cooed, his voice alone making your entire body tingle with pleasure. “Now end the call,” he attached his lips onto the sensitive spot under your ear, nibbling and sucking it softly, pushing another moan out of you.

“But—”

“No ‘but’s, baby,” a kiss on your shoulder again. “You don’t want me to not let you cum, do you?”

You couldn’t find the energy in you to argue with him, not when release was threatening to spill out of you.

“Bye, Daniel,” you said breathlessly.

“Just so you know, I still don’t believe that—”

“I said bye, Daniel,” you cut Daniel off before he could continue rambling about not trusting your words, reaching over to Jonah’s phone to end the call.

Jonah smiled when the screen of his phone turned black but his following words were nowhere near happy.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you? Always so obedient when you want me to give you what you want,” he snarled. “But what about just now, hmm? You were so loud, so impatient, always wanting more than what I gave.”

“So do you think you deserve to cum, dear?”

“Sorry, it just felt too good,” you whimpered, already on the verge of tears, when you felt the knot in your stomach tightening. “I won’t behave like this again, Jo so please—“

He pressed his lips onto yours, cutting your pleas off with a brief kiss. “Alright, I’ll let you off the hook just this once. Let it all out now, baby.”

And just like that, you released for the second time all over his thigh and he took his fingers out of you and licked them clean, groaning at how wonderful you tasted. “Fuck, you taste so good. It's totally worth ruining my jeans for this.”

“But I wanna taste yours too,” you whined and he smirked.

“Hmm,” he laid you down on the couch and crawled over you, a hand already at the zipper of his pants to pull it down. “Think you’re still able to take my dick?”

“Always,” you yanked him closer by the front of his shirt, wanting to bring his lips to yours but before your lips even touched, a series of meows sounded suddenly.

Both of you turned towards the source of the sound simultaneously to find Wes standing at the corner of the living room, staring at you both intently with his wide, curious cat eyes.

“You know what? Maybe we should do this elsewhere,” you gave a suggestion with an uncomfortable grimace.

He zipped his pants before moving back into a sitting position, which you mirrored. He patted his lap and you went to sit on it right away. “Or,” a teasing grin was plastered on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows playfully at you. “We could ask Wes to join in too.”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU PSYCHOTIC PERVERT!” you screamed in disgust and hit him with the couch pillow you grabbed from beside you.

taglist: @chilling-seavey @neralondon @mia-marais @randomlimelightxxx @hopinglimelight @kvd963 @cutiebandlover202 @savspersonalproperty @slowdownatthelotusinn @angelzacharyy @freakshows199 @my-fangirling-outlet

[shoutaaizawas]

↳ bakugou katsuki x reader → ❝wait for you❞ part one

summary: bakugou is your best friend, you both dream to become great heroes. when bakugou ends up in a coma most move on but you can’t leave your best friend behind.  word count: 2k+ tags/warnings: romance, angst (with a happy ending eventually),  a/n: im alive! sort of. finally finished one of my many wips in between watching greys anatomy. shoutout to the show for some inspiration for this. those background patient plot lines hurt sometimes.

Bakugou Katsuki was your best friend. That might be hard for a lot of people to believe considering how hostile he could be sometimes. Most would describe him as feisty and unfriendly but there was always something that drew you to him. From the first day at UA, you knew he was going to be your best friend even if he didn’t want to at first.

It didn’t take long for him to start liking you back even if he refused to admit it. It was impossible for him to deny that it was nice to be cared about and it was harder to deny that he cared about you. It was something he never expected, to care about someone so much that when you missed a meal he would be shoving food in front of you, or if you were staying up too late he would force you to go to bed early. Even the smallest things about you concerned him.

The two of you made the perfect pair, you helped each other train and study. When he went through his worse times you were there for him, through the nightmares, through the panic attacks, you helped him when he didn’t want anyone to see him.

Bakugou wasn’t your only friend but your relationship with him meant everything to you. Your friendship with him ran deep. He was your person. He was the first person you thought about every day, he was the first person you told good news to, the first person you went to when you were upset.

Your friendship was everything to you and you always imagined it meant a lot to him as well.

Throughout the school years, it only got deeper. It was finally your last year of high school and you and Bakugou were both on track to become amazing heroes. Both of you had worked so hard to be at the top of your class and it was almost time to go into the real hero world. You had even both secured spots at the top agency you had been eyeing for a long time.

You wondered if you would be partners at your agency? That would be too perfect. Both of you had bright futures ahead of you but one day took that away.

It was a normal day, you and Bakugou were working your intern patrol shift. It was sunny but not too hot and things were reasonably calm. There were a few crimes to keep things interesting but nothing too dangerous. It was a good day.

The two of you were eating lunch, you had gotten your favorite sushi for lunch despite the fact that Bakugou wanted to get ramen. But fair was fair and you had won your game of rock, paper, scissors.

That’s when the chaos broke out. A villain was attacking and you both sprung into action without a second thought. It was going well as it usually did, you worked together flawlessly. A perfect team. That was until Bakugou took a hit neither of you saw coming.

The sight of him tumbling across the pavement made you sick. You quickly subdued the villain before running to Bakugou’s side. He was laying on the ground face down. You turned him over, his face was covered in blood. Your heart sunk at the sight of him, eyes half open and face bruised.

Sirens alerted them to the arrival of the ambulances.

“Katsuki, you’re gonna be okay. Don’t move, help is here.” You said, hand brushing against his face.

“I-” He said, his voice hushed. “Sunshine I-”

Sunshine. The nickname started out condescending, an insult almost but somewhere along the line it became endearing. A pet name almost.

“Shh, it’s okay. Don’t strain yourself, please.” You said, grabbing his hand squeezing it tight. “You’re going to be okay.”

Bakugou was put on a stretcher and rushed to an ambulance, you rode with them trying to stay calm as they helped him. You held back asking questions not wanting to interrupt.

Bakugou’s red eyes stayed focused on you as you held his hand while trying to stay out of the way.

“It’s going to be okay, you have to be okay. You’re my best friend.” You said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. Katsuki I-”

Bakugou’s eyes slipped closed and it was hard not to tear up in fear. You wanted to tell him how you felt but you hesitated and now he couldn't hear you. Your heart raced in your chest. He would be fine, he always was. He was a fighter and he always pulled through.

Waiting was the worst thing anyone could sit through is the conclusion you came to. Sitting in the hospital’s waiting room staring at the patterned tile you were suffering. The thought of Bakugou in an operating room opened up hurt you to your core. The urge to sob was strong but you refused to. Bakugou would be okay and he would tease you endlessly if he found out that you cried over him.

Bakugou would be fine. You knew he would. He had to be.

Mr. and Mrs. Bakugou showed up, looking more scared than you had ever seen them before. You were familiar with his parents, they had invited you over many times for dinner and they always got along with you.

“What did they say?” Bakugou’s mother asked as she approached you, she grabbed your arms frantically.

“He’s in surgery, they aren’t saying much.” You told her. She let out a sigh sitting down next to you.

Time went by slowly as the three of you waited impatiently. Finally, the doctor appeared.

“Bakugou family?” He asked.

“Yes, that’s us.” Ms. Bakugou stood up along with you and her husband.

“The surgery went well, we were able to fix the trauma and bleeding in his brain. He’s patched up but there was swelling during the surgery.” The doctor said solemnly, his hands held together.

“What does that mean?” Mr. Bakugou questioned.

“The likelihood of him waking up is very low.” He said.

It felt like everything around you was falling apart.

“What do you mean he won’t wake up?” Mrs. Bakugou shouted. “If you fixed everything, what’s wrong with him?”

The doctor began to explain it but everything around you went fuzzy. You couldn’t hear anything, you felt sick. Before you could do anything else you ran outside of the hospital making it to a tree before throwing up.

Bakugou wouldn’t wake up. He was alive but he wasn’t going to wake up. The next year of your life was so clear in your mind, graduating, working beside Bakugou, climbing the ranks, becoming amazing heroes. Together. It was all gone, how were you supposed to go on without him? You couldn't picture your life without him.

You stood in front of his hospital room door still. If you stepped through that door you knew that it was over. The image of Bakugou standing strong next to you ready to face the world would be gone. The reality of what happened would set in and you could never go back.

It was easy to picture him, picture those moments with him. The first time you met him, you were both so young. He was so feisty and unwilling to befriend anyone. The memory of him yelling at everyone around you.

You could remember the day you had gotten through to him, had a heart to heart. His red eyes looked so soft for the first time and you knew that you would do anything to keep his trust in you so he would always feel safe enough to open up to you.

The memory of him in his dorm, scared and breathing quick after a nightmare. You had crawled into bed with him and held him. He protested at first but quickly realized you were more stubborn than him this time. Then he realized how nice it felt to be held by someone who cared about you, who wanted you to feel better. How safe he felt in your arms. The softness of his blond locks was unforgettable.

This morning was so clear, Bakugou in his hero costume laughing at a dumb joke you made. You would never see him stand tall again. You took a deep breath.

Softly you opened the door revealing the hospital bed. The sound of beeps filled the room. Walking up to the bed you took in a shaky breath.

Bakugou laid in the bed hooked up to wires. The side of his hair was shaved, where the surgery was. He was still, the steady rise and fall of his chest was the only sign of life. He looked so peaceful.

You sat in the chair beside the bed, head in your hands, a broken sob coming out of you.

“You have to wake up.” You said looking up at him, taking his hand in yours. “I know you can pull through this, I can’t do this alone. What kind of hero would I be without you?”

There was no reply to your cries.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I let this happen." You cried. "I'm sorry we didn't get what you wanted for lunch. If I could go back, if I could do everything different I would. I wish it was me."

Tears streamed down your face as sobs wracked your body.

"You're my best friend, you're my everything." You cried.

Everything felt empty. Time passed, life moved on. Your friends, your fellow students tried to console you while they grappled with the fact that Bakugou wasn’t around anymore. Your teachers looked at you with sad eyes, knowing that these things came with hero work but you were far too young to be dealing with it.

Graduating, something you had looked forward to for so long tasted like ash in your mouth. Standing there with your classmates taking pictures, everything was numb. All you could see was Bakugou laying in that hospital bed unmoving.

Life moved on but you felt like you stood still. You started working at the agency and you worked hard doing your best. The only thing you could do was be the best hero you could be to prevent people from getting hurt like Bakugou did. Even as you progressed and life moved on you felt like time was frozen.

After every shift you visited him, you would bring your dinner with you and eat in his room. You would tell him about your day. On good days you could convince yourself he could hear you.

Time moved on and less people visited. Your fellow students got busy with their hero careers. His parents visited on the weekends, Aizawa would visit once a month. Sometimes you ran into him. The two of you would sit there in silence.

“Do you visit him a lot?” Aizawa asked.

“Everyday.” You answered. “Almost every single day.”

“Why?” He asked, his gaze not moving from his former student.

“He’s my best friend. I can’t stand the thought of him sitting here alone.” You answered, a tear dripping down your cheek. “If he was awake I know we would see each other every day, it feels wrong to not see him. Even if he is asleep, even if he doesn’t know I’m here. I can't go without him, even if he's just laying here.”

“I understand.” He said.

Aizawa didn’t explain but you knew deep down he understood how you felt.

It took time, you had a lot of time to think when you weren't talking out loud to Bakugou's unconscious body.  It took time but you finally realized something.

You loved Bakugou Katsuki.

Not just the way someone loves their friend, no something deeper than that. Why else would someone spend every day with their unconscious friend? Even as years passed.

Looking back it all made sense, how validating it felt to tell Bakugou about the highs and lows of your life.  How much you focused on the small touches between you and him. How the thought of not spending the rest of your life with him tore you apart.

How had it taken you so long to realize?

Everything about him made you feel alive. His shining qualities, his flaws, his quirks, everything about him made you happy.  You loved him so deeply, how had you never known?

You loved Bakugou Katsuki and it was too late to do anything about it.

Years passed. Your career progressed, you climbed the hero charts and you became the hero you and Bakugou always aimed to be. Even if you had made it to the thing you wanted more than anything else in life it felt empty.

All you wanted was your best friend there with you. You wanted to tell him how you felt. Not just his unconscious body. You felt like a ghost, all of your friends lived their lives but you couldn’t enjoy it. You didn’t go out with them, you spent all your time with Bakugou at his bedside.

Every day you hoped, prayed he would wake up.

Time was an odd thing, getting old felt wrong. You looked older and so did Bakugou even if he laid there unmoving all this time. His hair was longer than it had been but you kept up with it. The nurses let you trim his hair, shave his facial hair when you had the time. It made you feel a little less helpless.

It had been a long day, a bad day. People died, people, you should have saved. You should have been fast enough, you should have been a better hero.

Sitting next to Bakugou you told him about your day.

“I moved, I reached to grab them but I wasn’t fast enough.” You said. “They died because I wasn’t fast enough.”

The tears streamed down your face. You reached forward grabbing his hand.

“You're here in this bed because I wasn’t fast enough, I was a bad partner I should have saved you. I should have taken the hit for you. I wish it was me in this bed, I wish I was dead.” You sobbed, breaths heavy it felt like you were suffocating. You were drowning, you had been since that day.

The sounds of your sobs were loud, your hand limply grasping at his. Your breathing stopped at the movement under your hand.

“Katsuki?” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you looked up at him. His eyes fluttered under his eyelids.

part two

taglist:  @sugarmaplewings-fics @lilkiwisfinest @ewwis-but-more-otaku @kandy1410 @moonlightaangel @winnies-headcannons @bkghatesyou @paintedr0ses1 @toobsessedsstuff @spellboundxizi @ourladyofseijoh  @x0doodlebug0x @katsushimaa @mooncademia @moon-write @todominica @why-so-red @kvichisaki @curiouslilbeast @izukukozume @susceptible-but-siriusexual  @swankiifiied

[momoshin]

size kink lia with cockwarming... you telling her she has to be still but she can’t help squirming with just how full she is hhhhh (🐾)

i just think she would come up to you in the middle of you working from home or doing anything, watching tv, on your phone, anything, with the strap in her hand and ask you in the sweetest voice, to wear it for her

“baby im busy”

“you don’t have to do anything- i won’t even move, i just wanna have something inside” you are busy, but she looks so pretty pouting and honestly you can begin to imagine the pretty sounds she’ll make on your lap just being stuffed to the hilt with the toy. however, even tho you wish you could let her do it on her own, you know she’ll be too eager to have it inside and might hurt herself by not taking her time, so you have to at least help her with that.

“get some lube” lia’s about to protest when you peck her lips, silencing her and patting her ass to send her off after taking the strap off her hands. it takes you only the time she is in the room looking for the lube to attach the fake dick to your body, sitting back on your chair and waiting for her to get back

with just a look at her you can tell exactly how eager she is, feet unable to stay still as she spreads a generous amount of lube along the plastic shaft, slamming the bottle on the desk before straddling your legs. not having any underwear in the first place. she’s facing you, and when she sees how close you are she gives you the softest smile, slowly sinking down on the toy with her hands at each of your chair. lia throws her head back, letting out little whimpers and moans only when she is 1/3 there.

“deep breaths unnie, look at me” you take her chin in your hand after running both up her back softly to attempt relax her body, and she nods following your breaths rhythm, attempting to take it in eagerly. “no rush, take your time”

“i know” she moans, finally touching your thighs with her ass “but im desperate”

you smile, rubbing her cheek with your thumb before letting her wrap her arms around you and lay her head on your shoulder, hiding her face in your neck. “that’s good?”

“so full” she nods, kissing your lips and going back to your neck. you don’t ask again since you assume she’s aware you’re going back to working, and instead try to type on your computer as best as you can wrapping your arms around her.

that doesn’t last very long tho, she starts with little whimpers, probably because of the stretch, but they get louder whenever you shift in the chair and so does the toy inside her, and soon she’s shifting herself to disguise how much she wants to ride you right now.

“lia, stay still.” you groan, retyping the sentence she helped mess up

“it’s so big” she whines, arms now under yours as she presses her jaw to your cheek, looking up at you. “im sorry. ill try harder” your girlfriend pecks your cheek and goes back to hiding her face in your neck, but eventually the clenching and unclenching of her thighs, the whimpers that come out of her lips and her nails digging in your skin, it has you holding her by the thighs and standing up from the chair after saving your work, immediately dragging a loud moan out of her and her arms around you to tighten.

“shh” softly, you lay her on the couch, trying as gentle as you can to spread her legs and somehow escape the hold they had you in. “what’s your color unnie?”

“green.” she quickly breathes, eyes glued to where her cunt met the toy and your hands on her thighs holding her open and holding you up, sort of.

“let me know if it changes, okay?”

“okay” she’s so desperate that the confirmation comes out as a whisper, only being able to think about you moving and fucking her until she cried of overstimulation.

you worry at the first gasp she gives when you pull out slowly, sounding like her usual pained noises but she reassures you it’s the opposite with a moan next, unable to tear her eyes away from the bulge that the toy made in her stomach when you bottomed out.

“oh..” she purses her lips and places a hand on your side with no other purpose than touching you, eyes squinting closed when you hit somewhere she likes. “can you move a little faster?” that same hand that was previously at your hip was now on the side of your neck as she pecked your lips after asking, and you wonder who’s domming who now, because the next thing you now, you’re nodding at her like a lost puppy, eyes glued to her own and her facial expressions when you do what she asked for.

“right there baby, just like that” you’ve always been one for praise with her, and you can’t help the arousal leaking down your thighs caused by her words, expressions and just the sight of her so needy to be filled with the toy. “you always fuck me so good” both her hands are at your neck now, cupping it and your jaw lovingly as she looks deep in your eyes and bites her lips when you thrust a little too hard.

“always so good for mommy, right?” your whole body shakes when you hear the words, your hips stutter and you have to move your hands to each of her sides to try to hold yourself up and not allow her to have such an effect on you that made you have to stop. “you can be rougher than this, i know that” she only lets go of your neck to raise the bottom of her shirt over her tits, letting out a few whimpers here and there at everything going on.

“don’t wanna h-hurt you” she knows she’s got you where she wants you when you can’t take your eyes off her chest, the little beads at each sides of her buds pulling you in for a trance and you wonder how and when you gave up control so easily, unable to form understandable sentences without at least stuttering once or twice in between.

“you won’t” she reassures, thumbs rubbing little circles on your skin as she brings you for a kiss and finally wraps her legs around your waist “fuck me harder baby” you’re the one who moans at her words now, dropping your head overwhelmed but still able to speed up your hips and apply much more force to them. every time your skin met hers and you grunt she moans in unison, throwing her head back on the pillow that usually decorated the couch.

it’s an unspoken thing between you, because your mouth always finds it’s way to her neck or her tits, ever since she got her nipples pierced it’s like you can’t keep away from them even if you tried, so now, imagine how close she is, so close she can almost feel her orgasm, when she has you both brutally fucking her and sucking on her sensitive nipples, just take a guess.

“a-ah, im c-cumming.” you love the way she gasps and tangles one hand in your hair placing the other hand on your ass to hold you there as she came, shaking under you, but of course, you won’t stop there. you’d fail to please her if you did. you only let go of her tit with a wet pop to unwrap her legs from your waist and press them between your chests. her cheeks and neck are red, both glowing from sweat, and opposed to when your face was buried in her chest, you can now see it clearly.

you keep the same force and speed as before, only now the angle was much better, and this being her second orgasm, comes much faster, unsurprisingly, as you already know how many times she can cum in a few minutes after her first one, sometimes you make her cum more, but you’re feeling kind today, and you still have a lot of work to finish, so when she does cum, and her legs are shaking and struggling to stay up, you pull away careful not to hurt her, and squish her cheeks between your hands giving her one last, wet kiss. hoping that would keep her satisfied for a few more hours at least.

[specialagentsergio]

wish i were

summary: Emily’s back where she belongs, but she’s learning that you can’t come back from the dead the same as you were before. Spencer’s reeling from betrayal and broken trust. Then there’s you—their safe port in the storm. But you’re not okay either, and you have a choice to make.

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader (unrequited), emily prentiss x f!reader

category: angst

content warnings: lots of swearing, mentions of/implied sex, mentions of vomiting (nothing descriptive), fighting, negative feelings towards other team members, bittersweet ending

a/n: it’s finally here. thank you all for your patience. i wasn’t planning on posting angst and unrequited love on valentine’s day, but i don’t want to wait another day to post this; i’m kinda sick of looking at it tbh. anyways, i hope you enjoy it and it lives up to your expectations. sorry it’s so long. apparently i have a lot to say.

word count: 8.7k

series masterlist || masterlist

Ten weeks ago.

“Absolutely not,” Emily croaks out. Her voice is rough and broken from the breathing tube, and it hurts her throat to speak, but she ignores it. “No. I won’t do it.”

She can hardly believe what she’s hearing. She’s only been awake for a few hours and she’s already fed up with the bullshit the world is throwing at her. Right now, it’s in the form of her boss asking her to fake her own death. “You can’t seriously think this is an acceptable solution.”

Hotch is unreadable, his unit chief face firmly in place. “It’s for your own safety.”

Emily scoffs, then immediately winces at the pain that shoots through her midsection. But she continues. “So put me in a safe house or something. I’m not making my friends bury me.”

“It’s for their safety as well,” he replies. “Doyle’s still out there. He’s targeted them before. You know he’ll do it again to get to you if he finds out you’re alive.”

“Then let them in on this,” she argues. “They can keep a secret.”

His expression slips—just a little bit, but she sees it. It’s hesitance.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” she asks, a feeling of dread settling over her. “I want to see her. I’m not making a decision like this without her.”

Hotch folds his arms over his chest. “It’s not your decision to make, Emily,” he says quietly. “It’s already done.”

Her breath catches in her throat. She looks him up and down, searching desperately for any sign that he’s lying, that this is all just some cruel joke, that any second now you’ll be walking through the door, a smile on your face—

There are none.

Her lungs burn and she’s forced to take in a breath. “You son of a bitch,” she whispers. “You... son of a bitch. How dare you? How dare you.”

He doesn’t so much as flinch as her voice increases in volume, which only serves to make her angrier.

“How fucking dare you! You let me see (Y/N) right now, you bastard!”

The door opens—her heart leaps—

It’s JJ, who, if Hotch is to be believed, is the only other one to know about this. JJ hurries to her side and reaches out, but Emily yanks her arm away.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she snarls. “You—” Her eyes land on the water pitcher on the table in front of her and she lunges forward, the searing pain it causes barely registering. She seizes it and throws it with all the force she can muster.

Hotch doesn’t move out of the way, letting it hit his chest and soak the front of his clothing. Its accompanying cup follows, then the TV remote. It’s not until she grabs the vase of flowers that he ducks out of the way. The glass shatters on the floor. All the while, she’s screaming obscenities at him.

JJ tries in vain to calm her down, holding up her hands placatingly. “Emily, please—”

“Don’t talk to me!” she yells. “You have the audacity to come in here and speak to me when you know I’m alive and my girlfriend doesn’t!”

“Emily!” Her voice is stern. “I understand you’re upset—”

“Don’t use your fucking mom voice on me, Jennifer, I’m not a fucking child—”

“What’s going on in here?” A pair of nurses enter the room, no doubt drawn by the commotion.

“She’s bleeding,” JJ answers immediately. “I think she might have aggravated something when she sat up.”

“She’s not supposed to be sitting up at all. What did you two do?” one of the nurses scolds.

“She just got some bad news—”

“Well, isn’t that a nice way to put it!” The nurses are trying to coax her into laying back down, but Emily resists it. “A really great way to describe the two of you trying to force me into letting my family and girlfriend think I’m dead!”

“I think some of the stitches tore,” the second nurse says.

“Go get the doctor,” the first one instructs an orderly standing in the doorway.

Movement catches Emily’s eye and she looks towards it to see Hotch taking a step backwards.

“Don’t you dare leave!” she screams. “I’m not done with you, you motherf—”

“Agent, please, you need to lie back.”

“And you two need to leave,” the older of the nurses says.

Then there’s a third person at her side. Judging by the white coat, it’s the doctor. “What’s the problem?” he asks them.

“She’s agitated and we think some stitches might have burst.”

“Damn right I’m agitated!” Emily cries. “They’re trying to—I—” She looks past the doctor to find that JJ and Hotch are gone.

“Emily, we’re going to give you something to help you relax,” he tells her.

Her vision goes blurry and she can’t figure out why until she feels the tears sliding down her cheeks. She lets the nurses push her back now and her head thumps against the pillow. “Please—” she chokes on a sob. “Please, I want to see my girlfriend.”

“What’s her name?” the doctor asks kindly.

“(Y/N). We’ve been together for almost a year. I need…” Her limbs are starting to feel heavy. “I need to call her, or—or something. She thinks… she thinks….”

“Shh, you’re okay,” one of the nurses soothes. “You’re going to be okay.”

Emily blinks slowly and shakes her head. “But she won’t be. She…”

The world fades to black.

---

There are tear stains on your pillowcase.

That’s the first thing Emily notices when she walks into your bedroom. She recognizes them so quickly because similar ones were on her pillows in Paris.

“Sorry, I’ve been meaning to run the sheets through the wash,” you say when you notice her looking.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” She sets her bag on the bedside table, careful to jostle Sergio as little as possible. He’s in her arms, pressed against her chest and purring loudly. He definitely remembers her—she’d been a little worried that he wouldn’t.

Emily is absolutely exhausted. It has been a very long day. Doyle is dead, Declan is safe, and now all she wants to do is take a nice, hot shower and curl up in bed with you. But you haven’t been able to keep eye contact with her for more than a few moments at a time.

She expected something like this to happen. She knew once the relief of seeing her alive wore off, there was going to be a heap of more, uglier emotions surfacing.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

You glance up at her just briefly, busying yourself with stripping off the pillowcases and replacing them with a clean set. “I don’t know what to say, Emily,” you sigh. “I just… I don’t.”

She strokes Sergio’s back a couple of times to calm herself before replying. “You can say anything. You’ve been through so much, and I… I’m not going to hold what you’re feeling against you.”

You shake your head. “I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.”

It confirms her suspicions. “(Y/N), you’re allowed to be mad at me,” she says. “Hell, you could even yell at me if you wanted to and I’d be okay with it.”

You snort. “I don’t want to yell at you. But, um, could I ask you a question?”

“Anything.”

“Okay. Well…” You shuffle from one foot to the other. “I’m… not really sure how to ask this, but, how… how did this happen?”

Your voice is hesitant. You’re holding back, but Emily can read between the lines. “You mean, how could I let you think I was dead?” she corrects softly.

You breathe in sharply and wrap your arms around yourself. Your eyes are wet when you look up at her and nod.

Emily tries not to let her next words come out too fast, lest it seem like she’s dismissing your feelings or making excuses. “I didn’t get a choice.” Her voice cracks and she clears her throat. “When I came to after surgery, the funeral had already been held.”

Your mouth drops open. You stare at her for a few seconds, then blink several times. Your eyes move around, focused on nothing in particular as you try to process what she’s just told you. Eventually, they settle on the bedroom door behind her. “I’m gonna punch his face,” you whisper.

Emily can’t stop the genuine laugh that bubbles out of her. “Yeah, Hotch heard similar things from me.”

“Oh my god, Em,” you breathe out, and her heart skips a beat at the nickname. “That must have been awful.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t fun,” she admits. “But at least I knew you were alive and that I’d see you again someday. It can’t come close to what you went through.”

You shake your head. “This isn’t the suffering Olympics. It was harder for you in some ways than it was for me, I’m sure. Like, if I was waking up after being stabbed, I’d want my girlfriend there holding my hand.”

Emily’s eyes prick with tears as she listens to you, remembering how it felt to be at the hospital without you there to hold her hand through all the scary bits. But you? You had buried her, and now you’re here considering how Emily had felt throughout all this. She’s not sure if you’re actively trying to make her fall even more in love with you, but if you are, you’re succeeding.

“I can’t promise to never be mad at you about this,” you continue, “but I’ll take being mad at you for actually being alive rather than being mad at you for dying.”

“That’s… really mature of you,” she observes.

“I started seeing a therapist a few days after the funeral,” you say with a shrug. “Can you put Sergio down and help me change the bed sheets?”

She nods and places him gently on the floor. She’s about to ask why you’re wanting to change them right now, when you’re clearly just as exhausted as she is, when she finds a tie wedged between the top and fitted sheets at the foot of the bed. She frowns as she lifts it up—it’s not one she recognizes as yours or hers, but she does think she’s seen it before.

“Oh, so that’s where that went,” you say.

“I don’t remember you having a tie like this. Is it new?”

“It’s Spencer’s,” you clarify.

“Oh. What… what’s it doing in your bed?” she asks hesitantly.

“He would stay over sometimes when I couldn’t sleep and he’s too long—“ you spread your hands apart “—for either of the couches.”

“I see.” Emily smooths out the wrinkles in the fabric and crosses the room to put it on top of the dresser, trying to tamp down the sting of jealousy. The other side of your bed is supposed to be hers.

“Nothing happened,” you say and she realizes she’s frowning.

“I know,” she replies, and she does—she just wishes it had been her in the bed with you. But you’ve at least given her a good lead-in for her surprise. “Anyways, you wouldn’t have even had the time with the amount of online Scrabble you were playing.”

Now it’s your turn to frown. “How do you know about that?”

The corner of her mouth turns up. “I was there for every game, sergio2010.”

It takes you a moment to put it together. “You’re cheetobreath?” you ask. “I thought that was JJ.”

“It was her idea,” Emily says. “And that’s what you were supposed to think.”

Your reaction delights her—you start laughing. “That’s ridiculous!”

“I had to stick it to Hotch somehow,” she defends, barely holding back her own laughter.

You shake your head fondly as you finish tucking in the fresh sheets. Emily helps you spread the comforter back over the bed and return the pillows to their spots. She isn’t sure what to do after that, though, and nervously clasps her hands in front of her. You’re silent for a few seconds, watching her from across the bed.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” you say eventually.

“Um, okay,” she replies. “But you know, I could go stay at a hotel instead if you’d prefer.”

You shake your head. “You’re gonna join me.”

“Ah.” Emily swallows, part nervous, part thrilled. “That’s… I mean, yeah. Okay.”

You hold out your hand in invitation; she circles the bed and takes it.

After, when you’re both clean and settled into bed, she pulls you as close to her as she can. “This is so nice,” you sigh into her skin. “You’re so soft, Em.”

Her eyebrows furrow. “Um, thank you?”

“Spencer’s bony,” you explain.

Emily snorts. “Yeah, I know. I fell asleep on his shoulder on the jet a few years ago and it was painful.”

You giggle. “Did you know he talks in his sleep?”

“Morgan’s mentioned it. You learn anything else when you were snuggled up with him?” she teases, running her fingers through your damp hair.

“It wasn’t like that,” you protest. “We didn’t snuggle. I’d just kind of… press my forehead on his arm and one leg against his.” Your voice lowers as you continue, “I just really missed being close to someone.”

“I did, too,” she whispers back. “I wish it had been me, but I’m glad you had him.”

You nod against her in agreement. “I love you, Emily,” you say, briefly tightening your grip on her.

“I love you, too,” she replies, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “So much.”

You drift off to sleep quickly, and she’s not far behind.

It’s the best sleep she’s had in months.

---

Spencer’s barely heard from you since the hearing last week.

He’d gotten plenty of texts from Jennifer (all of which he ignored), but only a few from you. That’s probably normal for most adult friends, but not for you two, especially so when the fact that you were the only two people not to apply for reinstatement to the BAU is taken into consideration. He thought that he’d be able to seriously talk about it with you, to share his feelings and maybe work it out together. But all he had gotten was a brief message:

Emily was reinstated, so I’m going back, too.

It left him frustrated, but when it came down to it, he understood—he was the same. Since you were going back, so was he.

On Monday morning, everyone’s first day back together, he gets off the elevator and is immediately confronted with the last person he wants to see.

“Hey, where have you been? I wanted to do brunch this weekend,” Jennifer says.

Spencer barely resists rolling his eyes, instead keeping them fixed on the file he’s holding. “I had to deal with some stuff with my mom.” It’s not a lie—he did have to check in with his mom. It just didn’t take as long as he’s implying. “Have you seen Garcia?”

“Uh, she’s with Rossi,” Jennifer answers, and she sounds startled by his behavior, but he doesn’t care. You’re at your desk, and as he passes by, he takes your arm.

“Wha—Spencer?” You’re taken aback, but you let him pull you along and into a file room.

“What?” you repeat when he turns to you after closing the door.

He tucks the file into his bag, the folds his arms over his chest. “I barely heard from you last week.”

Your eyebrows scrunch together. “Well, yeah, I’ve been busy,” you say. “Emily’s moving in with me so we’ve been taking her things out of storage and to my apartment to unpack.”

Spencer glances away, trying to ignore the stab of jealousy in his chest. Just two weeks ago, he was in your bed and he’s quickly been replaced. And sure, he knows you don’t feel that way about him, but it was easy to pretend you did when you were asleep right next to him. “Not busy enough to make a decision about work,” he points out.

“So?”

“You’re the only other one who didn’t apply for reinstatement to the unit,” he replies. “You’d think that would be something for us to talk about.”

“You never said you wanted to,” you say, giving him a little shrug.

He doesn’t resist the eye roll this time. Does Spencer know he’s being a bit unfair? Yes. Does he care? Not particularly. No one bothered to seriously check in with him last week. He wasn’t expecting everyone to, but he was expecting it from you. He’s only been at work for five minutes, but his emotions are already running high, and he doesn’t care to reign them in. “I didn’t think I’d have to.”

“You should’ve. I can’t read your mind.” Now you’re getting defensive. “And what does it matter, anyways? You’re not my boyfriend; I don’t have to run my decisions past you.”

“I know that,” he snaps. He really could have done without hearing you say that. “I’m just there to warm up your bed when you’re lonely is all, huh?”

You’re shocked for only a moment before pivoting to anger. “I didn’t make you do anything. You could’ve said no. And I certainly don’t owe you anything from it.”

“Clearly,” he mutters.

You heave an angry sigh. “Look, I know you’re mad about the whole thing, but don’t take it out on me. I don’t know why you’re so surprised that I wanted to spend the past week catching up with my girlfriend after thinking she was dead for ten weeks. If you wanted to talk, you should’ve said so. Stop being such an ass.”

Spencer doesn’t answer. You’re right, and he knows it, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to admit it. He just looks down at the floor, avoiding your glare.

When it becomes clear to you that he has no intention of responding, you mutter, “whatever” under your breath and duck behind him, walking out of the door and leaving him alone again.

---

The case has been miserable.

In rural Oklahoma, their unsub is burning his victims with acid. Not the worst they’ve seen, but not pleasant, either—this job never is.

You’re still mad at him, which is bad enough, but he’s also had to watch you be far more… touchy with Emily than you ever were before. It’s not super apparent—you still keep it professional at the local P.D. and when you’re out on work assignments, but you’re going out of your way to find any excuse to touch her that you can outside of that.

Then there’s the motel they’re staying at and its thin walls. He heard a few things last night from your room next door. It was quickly followed by shushes, but he heard enough to infer what was going on. So he’d dug his noise-canceling headphones out of his bag. It had been a good solution at the time, but then he’d fallen asleep with them on. As a result, he’d slept with his neck at an odd angle. It’s midday now and it’s still aching.

To top it all off, there’s Jennifer. He’s been trying to keep his distance from her, and had thought the snide remarks he hadn’t been able to hold back might encourage her to stay away. But she keeps pressing the issue, and when she tells him she thinks he’s mad about micro-expressions, he can’t hold it back anymore.

“You think it’s about my profiling skills? Jennifer, listen, the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions is because I trusted you. I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth.”

She protests, so he brings up Dilaudid. He knows it’s a low blow, and that she still feels guilty about them splitting up all those years ago, leading to his abduction and subsequent problem, but he doesn’t care. He just wants her to hurt like he is.

The team is staring and Emily says his name, but he just tells Jennifer that it’s too late to be sorry and leaves without another word.

Outside, he sits on the curb in front of one of the SUVs and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He’s not alone for long, though. Just a few minutes later, he hears footsteps coming from behind him. The sound that involuntarily comes out of his throat can only be described as a growl.

“God, Jennifer, what do I have to do to get you to understand that I want you to leave me the fuck alone!” he nearly yells.

But it’s not Jennifer that answers. “It’s me,” you say softly.

Spencer sighs. He drops his hands from his face but doesn’t open his eyes. “What?”

“Can I sit?”

He’s not sure he wants to be around anyone, but it’s hard for him to say no to you. “Sure,” he says dully.

You join him on the curb, but keep a few feet of space between you. You don’t say anything, though, just sit quietly, letting him make the first move.

“How are you okay?” he asks eventually.

“What?” You sound incredulous. “I’m not sure where you got that idea. I’m so mad at Hotch that I can barely breathe when I’m in the same room as him.”

Spencer considers this for a moment, recalling when everyone’s been in the same room during this case. He realizes that since he’s been preoccupied with you touching Emily and trying to avoid Jennifer, he’s missed how you tense up whenever you see Hotch, and that you keep him out of your eyesight whenever possible.

“But you’re fine with Emily,” he observes. That does honestly confuse him, because he’s mad at Emily as well. And if it had been you in her place? He’s not sure he’d ever be able to forgive you, even without you knowing the way he feels about you.

“For the most part,” you say. “I still feel a little mad at her sometimes, but it helps me to remember that it wasn’t her fault.”

He finally looks at you, raising an eyebrow. “Being alive in Paris and not telling you isn’t her fault?”

“She didn’t really get a choice. When she woke up after surgery, the funeral had already happened,” you explain. “Hotch made the decision without her.”

“Hmm.” He files that information away to think over later. “And Jennifer?”

You shrug. “I can’t be too mad at her, since she did so much for me during those weeks.”

He snorts. “Yeah, out of guilt.”

“Probably, yes,” you concede. “But not having to pack up Emily’s things and take them to storage myself, feeding Sergio and bringing him to stay with me, bringing me hot meals when I was surviving off of cereal alone because I could barely get out of bed, let alone cook for myself… it went a long way.”

On the one hand, it’s a bit comforting for him to hear how Jennifer helped the woman he loves. On the other, she could have ended your pain with three words—Emily is alive—but she didn’t. She let the woman he loves suffer the pain of the loss of a partner.

And she sure didn’t bring him hot meals.

This shouldn’t surprise you, Spencer. You’ve always been the afterthought. The burden. You should be used to this by now.

He clenches the fabric of his pants in his hands. “That doesn’t make me any less angry,” he mutters.

“That’s fine.”

“You can’t expect me to just—wait, what?”

“That’s fine,” you repeat. “I’m not trying to tell you to just get over it or whatever because she was nice to me. Like Em told me, you’re allowed to be mad.”

Spencer bites his lip, resisting the urge to ask you to stop calling her Em. You’re the only one that calls her that—or rather, is allowed to call her that, and it’s obvious why. It’s also similar enough to you calling him Spence that he’ll always start comparing himself to Emily when he hears it, and he’s been trying to stop doing that for months.

“Maybe you just, I don’t know,” you continue, drawing him out of his thoughts. “You could just try to be a little less passive aggressive with JJ?”

He opens his mouth, about to flat-out refuse, but before he can, you tack on, “For me? Just a little bit?”

God damn it.

“Only if she stops bothering me,” he says bluntly.

“Yeah, she, um… she was crying when I left, so I think she’s got the message now,” you say quietly.

He feels a bit guilty upon hearing that, but not enough to apologize, or even really regret it. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it, he rationalizes to himself. She’s the one who decided to push it anyways.

After a few moments of silence, you reach out and pat his knee. “I love you, you know.”

He knows what you mean, knows that you don’t mean it like that, but his heart still skips a beat. He responds to you with a nod.

You push yourself to your feet, tell him to take all the time he needs, and you’ll see him when he’s ready to come back in, then walk away.

When he’s certain you’re out of earshot, he whispers back, “I love you, too.”

---

Emily sits down across from him on the plane, and Spencer is immediately reminded of the morning after he caught you and her together. That time, Emily had folded her hands in front of her on the table. This time, she slides something across it to him. He looks up from his book and sees his missing tie, wrinkles ironed out and folded neatly.

“It was in her bed,” she explains when his brow furrows.

Spencer wonders if that made Emily jealous.

He’s not a good enough person to not hope it did.

“Thanks,” he mutters, putting it away in his bag.

Emily’s quiet, but she doesn’t leave. She must have something else to say. He sighs. “What is it?”  

“Are you going to Rossi’s house tomorrow night?” she asks.

He looks back down to his book. “I don’t know. I’m not so sure I can make it.”

“Okay. Well, Reid, you can be mad at me for as long as you need to. I’m okay with that.”

Spencer frowns. He kind of wishes she wasn’t being so nice and understanding. It makes it harder to be upset with her, and he wants to be upset with her.

“I’d like to say something to you, though, if that’s okay,” she says.

He reluctantly looks back up. “What?”

Emily holds his gaze. “Thank you,” she says earnestly.

He blinks. “Uh, for what?”

Her voice wavers slightly with emotion as she speaks. “For looking out for her when I couldn’t.”

His eyes drift away from Emily and to the couch where you’re sleeping. “My pleasure,” he replies quietly. When he looks back at Emily, she has a curious look on her face.

For the first time, instead of panicking over keeping his secret, instead of shying away, Spencer looks right back at her. A few seconds later, he thinks he sees a flash of realization in her eyes, but it’s so quick he can’t be sure.

“Well, thank you,” she repeats, and takes her leave. He watches as she leans down and tucks the blanket closer around you. He closes his eyes, leans back in his seat, and imagines a world where he was the one adjusting it instead.

---

“You’re gonna go weeks, months even, feeling fine. And then you’re gonna have a bad day.”

Emily can barely get the hotel room door open, her hands are shaking so much. A bad day. What Hotch called it, she thinks, was a bit of an understatement.

She’s just come back from taking a witness statement to help wrap up the piano man case—or rather, she was trying to take one.

“I was told that you would only give your statement to me.”

“Why didn’t you let me pull the trigger?” Regina asks.

“Because you would be in prison.” Emily understands why Regina is mad at her, and she’s fine with taking the brunt of it. Lying to her to stop her from shooting the unsub was the right thing to do. “I know it’s hard--”

“No, you don’t. You have no idea what it’s like…” Regina pauses briefly, anger radiating off of her. “When the monster from your nightmares comes back for you.”

Emily breaks eye contact and looks down. She knows exactly what that’s like.

Regina recognizes it. “Wait--”

Redirect, redirect, redirect. “Look, I’m here as a courtesy--”

“Something happened to you.”

“So do you want to give me your statement or not?”

But Regina is relentless. “What did you do to him, huh? Did you arrest him like a good FBI agent? Or did you kill him?”

Emily sits down heavily on the spare bed, drawing your attention away from packing up your things for the flight home. “Em?”

She just shakes her head, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees and closing her eyes. “It was the right thing,” she whispers to herself. “It was the right thing. I did the right thing.”

You sit down next to her and place your hand on her back. “What happened?”

Emily swallows hard, feeling sick to her stomach. Her hair is sticking to the back of her neck; she tilts her head to try and dislodge it. You catch on and pull it to the side for her.

“Talk to me, baby,” you urge gently. “Just something, anything I can do to help.”

She takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm down enough to speak. “I—I think,” she stutters. “I th—think I just ruined a woman’s pe—peace of m—mind for good.”

You start rubbing circles on her back and ask, “How?”

“You know, when they talk about victims getting revictimized by the system, they mean you.”

Emily shudders involuntarily. “I… you know how we found the unsub with a—a victim?”

Slowly, in sentences fractured by gasping breaths, swallows to hold back the nausea, and even a few sobs, she recounts what Regina said to her.

You murmur something under your breath that she doesn’t catch, then, ever so gently, you pull her into your arms.

Emily Prentiss isn’t one to break down, not in her own home and especially not in front of others. She controls any “negative” emotions as best as she can, her feelings only displayed through a trembling voice, misty eyes, or run-down nails. Screaming, tears, and nervous gestures were not befitting of an ambassador’s daughter, after all, and those habits formed in childhood have stayed with her until this day.

But there’s one person who’s the exception. There’s one person with whom those walls just don’t seem to exist. That person, of course, is you.

You pull her into your arms, and Emily Prentiss breaks down, because she can. She can because she knows you’ll be there to help put her back together again.

“You never had a chance to mourn your own death, did you?”

She hadn’t understood what her therapist meant when she said it yesterday morning, but Emily thinks she does now. This time last year, what Regina said would have unsettled her, and she would have felt sorry for her, but she probably wouldn’t have dwelt on it much. It’s not last year, though. It’s this year, and she’s coming undone in your embrace over Regina’s words, words she knows will never leave her.

“I didn’t pull the trigger.”

“Still… your monster’s dead. I have to live with mine. That’s my statement.”

Emily has a promise to keep, so she boards the jet early. A few minutes later, Hotch slides into the seat across from her and waits. It still takes her a few moments to collect herself enough to say the words.

“I’m having a bad day.”

---

Spencer’s not sure if you’re going to be able to keep doing this job. He became very familiar with your nervous tics and outward signs of stress during those weeks, and now he can notice them almost immediately.

You seemed okay for the first few months. A few habits cropped up now and then—biting your lip, tapping each fingertip to your thumb in turn—but that was fairly normal. It’s a stressful job.

But then your bottom lip starts getting chapped again, and during conversions with anyone other than Emily, you’re quiet; you often have to be prompted to share your thoughts.

He tries to find out what’s wrong, but when he asks, you shut it down. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” he says quietly. “But, um, you probably should talk to… somebody, you know?”

You barely look up from your paperwork as you respond. “I appreciate the concern, but I’ve been seeing a therapist since this whole shitshow started. I’ve got Emily, too. If anything, I should be telling you to go talk to a professional.”

Spencer just says “okay” again, then a few minutes later he excuses himself to go hide in the bathroom and nurse his hurt feelings. He knows you weren’t trying to be mean. Flipping around the suggestion to him most certainly came from a place of love. But he’s not interested in receiving any kind of psychiatric care—he’s actively opposed to it. So being told anything of that sort upsets him and often makes him angry.

Today it’s just salt in the wound, though. The wound itself is Emily. And god, does he ever feel guilty about the resentment that crops up every time her name is in your mouth. She was dead, and every day she was gone, he wished she weren’t. He cried countless tears over her and would’ve given anything to at least be able to say goodbye.

Then the impossible happened—she came back. He didn’t have to say goodbye at all. And sure, there was the initial relief and happiness, and the warmest hug ever, but now he finds himself resenting her. He’d never wish for her to be gone again, but he can’t stop the jealousy, no matter how hard he tries.

Recently, when Emily was shot during a case in California, he held back your hair as you leaned out of the door of the SUV and threw up upon receiving the news. Spencer Reid would never deny that he’s a germaphobe, but he wants that. He wants to be the one taking care of you, the one whose shoulder you fall asleep on, the one going home with you at the end of the day.

He doesn’t want Emily gone, never, ever again, but he wants you back. Those ten weeks, as awful as they were, weren’t the worst he’s had, because during that time, you were always seeking him out. He knows you didn’t want him that way, but if Emily had really been gone, he thinks one day, that might have changed. The thought always brings tears to his eyes.

Still, he would settle for having you the way he did during the years before he fell for you. Things just haven’t been the same since Emily came back. You don’t stay up late talking anymore. You haven’t a movie night in months. You don’t ask about the books he’s reading or what he did over the weekend. This is it: this is exactly what he was afraid of happening when he found you with Emily.

Spencer doesn’t think it’s personal. He thinks it’s because you’re barely hanging on these days, and just don’t have the energy anymore to do things like you used to.

It still hurts, though. He wonders if it’ll ever stop hurting.

---

Respite can come at the strangest of times and in the oddest of ways. Today, it comes to Emily in the middle of a hostage situation at a bank, in the form of a job offer.

The team is trying to find the I.D. of the Queen of Hearts, one of the robbers, when she gets a surprise call from Clyde Easter, her old Interpol Unit Chief, who gives her the information he knows about the unsub. He doesn’t know her name, but he reminds her that she’s seen the unsub before, at a robbery in Paris while she was living there. Then when the team learns that their unsubs want to fly out to Chad, she calls him back.

“Well, unfortunately Interpol doesn’t have many assets in that particular region in Africa. Maybe that’s something you could help me with when this is over.”

Emily scoffs. “Work for Interpol again? That’ll be the day.”

“Not work, darling. Run,” he corrects. “You see, I’ve been promoted. So, the team’s yours whenever you want it.”

“It’s a hell of a time to bring that up,” she says, ignoring the questioning glances she’s getting from you, Reid, and JJ.

Clyde asks her to think about it, but there’s no time to do that now. She pushes it to the back of her mind and goes back to work.

By the time the day is over, she’s tired. Just tired. You both narrowly survive the explosion in the bank thanks to the alcove you were in, trying to help two elderly patrons. Then a mere hour later, you scare the shit out of her by finding Will strapped to an active bomb and deactivating it yourself. So Clyde’s offer doesn’t come up again until the next morning, when light is spilling through the curtains, illuminating the bedroom with a soft, warm glow.

You face each other in bed, legs twined together under the covers. “What was that about working for Interpol again?” you ask softly, tucking your arm under your head.

“Clyde was promoted,” she replies just as quietly, as to not disturb the peaceful morning feeling. “He offered me his old job. He wants me to run the London office.”

Your eyes widen. “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“How are you feeling about that?”

Emily blows out a breath. “I’d like to at least… consider it.”

You reach out, finding her hand in the sheets and lacing your fingers between hers. “What’s stopping you?”

“I’m sure you can guess,” she replies, squeezing your hand back.

“Well, then I think you’re more than just considering it,” you say. “You wouldn’t bring it to me if you didn’t want to take the job.”

Emily thinks for a moment, then admits, “I… I do want to take it. But I have to know what you think, honestly.” She was already robbed out of making one life-changing decision without you in this past year. She has no interest in that happening again.

“Honestly?” you repeat, shifting a little. At her nod, you continue, “I think it’s a good option for us.”

“Us?” she asks, eyebrows raising.

“Yeah, us,” you affirm. “What, you think I’m just going to stay here if you move away?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe. This is the first time we’ve talked about something like this.”

“Fair point,” you say, then sigh. “We’re… both struggling here in D.C., Em. I know it and you know it. This place, this team. It used to be my home, but now, I just… it’s not like it was before.”

“You don’t trust Hotch anymore,” Emily says quietly.

You let out a small, broken chuckle. “I’ve tried. I’ve been trying so hard. I know he did what he thought he had to, but I just… I can’t.”

“It’s okay to feel that way,” she points out. She lets go of your hand to reach up and wipe away a tear that breaks your lash line. “In fact, I’d say it’s reasonable, with what you went through.”

You close your eyes and nod, putting your hand on top of hers to keep it on your cheek. “I know it’s been hard for you, too.”

“Yeah,” she sighs. “I wanted to come back, and at first, I felt like I was home. But I just can’t go back to my old life and pretend that nothing happened. The only time I feel at home now is… well, it’s when I’m alone with you, just like this.”

“Emily Prentiss, I had no idea you were such a romantic,” you say, cracking a smile.

“Oh, stop,” she says, but she’s blushing. When your giggles subside, she speaks again. “I would love for you to come to London with me. But I don’t want you to forget what you’d be leaving. There’s still a lot of good here.”

You nod. “There is. I’m just not sure it’s enough anymore,” you say softly.

“I understand. You can think about it. I don’t need an answer now.”

So you don’t give her one, not right away. But you do a few hours later. So Emily picks up her phone and dials Clyde’s number.

---

JJ’s a beautiful bride, but Spencer’s eyes keep drifting over to you. The dress you’re wearing tonight is wonderful; from the cut to the color, it suits you perfectly. But that’s not what’s really got his attention. It’s the way you’re carrying yourself. You’re smiling, and you seem truly happy, without any reservations. But there’s also a bit of sadness clinging to you, and he can’t tell what’s causing it.

The party has been going on for a while by the time he finds himself dancing with you. You’d asked him, and now you’ve steered him a little ways away from everyone else. “There’s something I have to tell you,” you say just as he’s about to ask what’s going on.

To his dismay, he doesn’t have a clue what it’s going to be. He doesn’t like not having at least an idea. He swallows, then says, “Okay.”

You can’t meet his eyes; you look down to the floor instead and watch your feet move in time together. So whatever it is, I’m not going to like it, he thinks, and his anxiety spikes. “What is it?” he asks, tightening his grip on you without really meaning to.

You take a deep breath, then look up. “Emily and I are leaving.”

His heart drops and he stops in his tracks, causing you to stumble a little over his feet. “Oh, shi—sorry,” he says. “I just—you’re leaving the BAU? But you’re still going to be in D.C., right?”

You sigh, then guide him off the dance floor and to a quiet spot not too far away. “You remember what Emily said about working for Interpol again yesterday?”

“Interpol?” he repeats, his voice pitching upwards. “You mean, like, overseas?”

“London, to be specific.”

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He doesn’t know what to say. Things were a little rocky between you and him when Emily came back, and for a little while afterwards, sure, but recently he’d started to feel like he had his best friend back.

Apparently he couldn’t be more wrong.

Spencer’s used to people leaving. First it was his dad, then Ethan. Elle was next, quickly followed by Gideon. JJ was forced out, and although she ended up coming back, it didn’t erase the pain he felt in her absence. And then there was everything that happened with Emily.

So, Spencer’s used to people leaving. In a way, he almost expects it.

He just wishes it would stop hurting so damn much.

What is it about me? he wonders. What is it that makes people run away? There’s clearly something wrong with--

“Hey!”

He jumps, startled out of his introspection. When his eyes refocus on you, you put your hands on your hips.

“I don’t appreciate people being mean to my best friend, you know,” you tell him seriously.

“Uh…” He blinks a few times. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“That includes him being mean to himself,” you continue. “I know what you were thinking.”

“What? No, you don’t,” he protests.

“Don’t I?” You put the tip of your finger on your chin. “Was it or was it not something along the lines of, people always leave me, why do they do that, there must be something wrong with me?”

He hates that you’re right, so he doesn’t answer, just scowls and looks away.

“It’s not true, you know.”

“Sure,” he mutters. Sure it isn’t. You’ve only just added your name to the list.

“I mean it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Look at me.”

Spencer doesn’t, and your resulting sigh sounds so frustrated, and then he thinks, Oh, great work, Reid. (Y/N) tells you she’s leaving and what do you do? You piss her off. Honestly, it’s no wonder--

And then your hands are on his face, cradling his cheeks, and he’s too surprised to resist your gaze anymore.

“It’s not your fault, Spencer,” you say, your voice equal parts firm and gentle. “You didn’t drive me away. Not even close. There’s nothing inherently wrong with you, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He sniffs, trying to hold back the sudden onslaught of emotions you’ve just caused. “Well, I could have gone without picking a fight with you on our first day back at work,” he says, sniffling again.

“What’re you tal—Spencer, that was almost a year ago.”

“Nine months.”

“Whatever. The point still stands. You’re not why I’m leaving, okay? You’re…” you trail off and he’s alarmed to see your eyes grow wet. “You’re the opposite, actually. You were the only thing keeping me here when Emily was gone. And now, you’re why it’s so hard to leave.”

“I am?” he whispers before he can think better of it.

“You are,” you affirm. “I think Emily’s actually a little worried you’re gonna talk me out of it.”

It gets a laugh out of him, but right after a little sob escapes him and he squeezes his eyes shut. When you hug him, he immediately reciprocates, wrapping his arms around your middle tightly.

“Hey, this isn’t the end, okay?” you say, and he can tell from the way your voice is trembling that you’re crying, too. “I know you like to ignore it, but we do live in the digital age, and I’ll be hounding you to talk to me at least once a week. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“I’d certainly hope not,” he murmurs, resting his head on your shoulder.

The two of you stay like that for a while, just holding each other, trying not to cry too much. Eventually, you pull away. “Besides, it’s not like I’m leaving first thing in the morning. Our flight isn’t for another ten days. I’m gonna be around.”

Spencer nods. “Okay.”

“Okay,” you repeat, then swipe at your face, clearing away the tears. “Um, we should head back. You still owe me a dance.”

And dance with you he does, swaying gently from side to side with his hand resting on your waist. A look over your shoulder shows Emily and Derek dancing in a similar manner; judging by the way he’s holding her, she told him the news as well.

He has an eidetic memory, but Spencer makes the effort to commit this moment to his brain all the same. He wants to remember the way you’re holding him, resting your head on his chest and running your thumb over the back of his hand every so often. He wants to remember how your skin feels against his, the texture of your hair. The lighting in the backyard and the way it makes you glow. The words that you said, telling him that it’s not his fault, that nothing’s wrong with him. He’s not quite sure he believes it, but you’ve never lied to him before, so he’ll try to accept it.

The song ends, and tears threaten to fall again when you pick up your head and take a step back.

“Hey, no more crying tonight,” you say. “Because if you start crying, I’ll start crying, and I don’t want to cry any more tonight. Save it for my grand exit at the airport terminal.”

That makes him break into a smile and he’s able to blink back the tears. “Okay.”

“Do you mind if I take this dance?” It’s Emily, and she’s looking at him, head tilted in your direction.

“Oh, um.” He clears his throat. “No, um, go—go ahead.”

He passes your hand to her, and what he feels is silly. You’re not some prize to be won; you don’t belong to anyone other than yourself. But he feels like he’s passing you off to Emily, almost… entrusting you to her. The look Emily gives him makes him think she understands this.

“Wait,” you say before she can properly take you into her arms. You lean towards him and press a kiss to his cheek.

Spencer doesn’t stay around to watch you two dance. He retreats back into the house, fingertips on the spot you kissed. He lets them sit there for a moment, then forces himself to drop his hand. It’s far past time for him to try and move on. He doesn’t want you to leave, but it might be what he needs.

Maybe, just maybe, with some distance, he can begin to heal.

---

On the first day at work without you, Spencer finds a small frame on his desk. He immediately recognizes the picture inside of it—it’s the one you’d kept as your lockscreen for months, much to his dismay.

It’s a picture from the relatively early days of your friendship, well before he felt anything that wasn’t platonic towards you. You’d dragged him out on a weekend off to a nearby amusement park, because, “you can’t die without having ridden a roller coaster at least once, Spence.” He had no desire to do so, but he didn’t have any other plans, so he went along with it.

The roller coaster ended up making him vomit, and the picture is from shortly after that. You’re holding up the camera with one hand and making a peace sign with the other, smiling from ear to ear. He still looks a little queasy, only managing a small smile, but he still looks somewhat happy. And he was, that day. Other than the nausea, he’d had a lot of fun with you.

He picks up the frame and feels something on the back of it. He flips it over and finds one of his lilac colored post-it notes, displaying your handwriting.

“When it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

Tears blur his vision. Doctor Who. Of course you picked Doctor Who. And you’ve written something else, too, in smaller letters:

If you don’t answer my calls at least twice a month, I’ll tell JJ you’ve been stealing from her Cheetos stash for eight years. Love ya.

He laughs out loud, a little wet giggle that he has to follow up with a sniffle. He slips the note under the frame’s felt backing to keep it safe, then rearranges his things until he settles on the perfect spot for it to sit on his desk. He retrieves a fresh sticky note and scribbles down a reminder to himself to call you when he gets home, sticking it the cover of one of his books. After all, he can’t have JJ knowing about his thievery. The team’s good at what they do, but he doesn’t think anyone would be able to find his body once JJ’s done with him.

His eyes drift back to the photograph, coming to a stop on your face. He misses you already. He even misses the ugly bits, when you’d snapped at each other, when you were crying on his shoulder. When he saw you with Emily that first time. It’s an odd mix of emotions. Longing, nostalgia, grief, happiness, safety. Belonging.

Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.

Spencer couldn’t agree more.

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

oh my god, i can hardly believe it’s over. there’s still going to be a small epilogue, but it’s optional. thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who read and supported this series and your enthusiasm for it. you’ve made me so very happy. and if you relate to spencer in this, i want you to know you’re gonna find your someone someday. if that’s what you want, i believe you’ll find it eventually. much love to all of you. 💖

series taglist: @sobereinstein , @zizzlekwum , @goldensatine , @closetedreidstan , @afuckingshituniverse , @uswntxx , @johnmulaneyslut , @90spumkin , @mcntsee , @zhuzhubii , @shadyladyperfection , @mggbler , @eva-cadeau , @esmesisle , @anothergayinthelife , @wecouldbreakthedistance , @zozoleesi , @calm-and-doctor , i think that’s everyone?? so sorry if i missed you.