#*sentences (paragraphs really)

[quietmonologues]

From my little perch on the outskirts of this fandom, seeing questions like “why do you ship these characters together when they don’t like each other?” or “how can you like this person when they did this bad thing?” (even though so many of this fandom's popular characters did terrible things or popular ships started off as hostile…) makes me believe that ACOTAR seems to be a lot of people’s introduction to young adult (YA) fiction, and their accompanying literary, character, and romantic relationship tropes. And because of that, this fandom seems really “young” yes in terms of demographics, but also in the sense that notions such as nuance and not taking things at face value are seemingly new concepts...maybe? There’s just something so “juvenile” and "robotic" about this fandom, and I think it would be interesting to dig deep into why that is.

I know that the series saw a huge spike in popularity due to tiktok aka “booktok” and because that platform is primarily geared towards teenagers and young adults, I do think that is one factor for why the ACOTAR fandom is “young”. That’s not to say that booktok is exclusive to young people, and that’s not to say that all of booktok is “toxic” since I’ve watched some great ACOTAR analysis videos there. However, in looking at the broader world of that platform, I see posts like this one and this one that basically outline the notion that booktok is basically “for the aesthetics”. Booktok promotes the type of reading that is quick and surface-level, and I think that perpetuates this confusion some fans have when things “go against the grain” from what's in front of them in the text such as, a group of fans liking a character who the narrative deems as “bad” or shipping two characters who are seemingly disinterested in each other and barely interact in the story. But there's nothing really confusing about those opinions…we just need to not read so fast, I think! So in a way, booktok is sort of like an introduction to a fandom space (again maybe many people's first fandom!) that exists without nuanced discussions and simply takes things at face value in order to satiate that quick rush.

I know not every fan is coming from booktok and being influenced by those trends. So then I also think about SJM as a writer and how this series is sprinkled with moments of “tell don’t show”, contradictions, and lack of nuance (like when a character says something contradictory to what was previously written in the narrative or when the narrative deems one character’s actions as “good” while condemning another’s actions as “bad”, even though they both performed similar acts). This type of writing makes reading easier to digest maybe, but I think it also allows (and maybe even encourages) readers to not think as critically as they probably should because again, it's “quick reading” and it’s easy to miss out on moments that don’t make sense. I think with the way SJM writes these books, we’re not meant to call into question some of those contradictions, especially when they are not acknowledged by the narrative. We casually believe that a character is “terrible” because SJM says so, even though they really aren't upon deeper introspection. So a lot of the initial reading is really “flat” and it contributes to that missing nuance.

I also see the “youth” of this fandom through the shipping. I do think the “ship war” contributes to warping a reader’s perception of events and characterizations in order to justify why one ship is better than the other. And going back to taking things at face value, there’s this interesting notion that if two characters like each other, then that’s it, there are no second chances for them to find a different romantic partner. It’s surface-level and it’s a silly thought to me because romance (in fiction and in real life) isn't always so cut and dry, so linear. There are countless YA fiction where a character doesn't always end up with the character they were initially attracted to. It's such a common trope and it begs the question of if ACOTAR is a reader’s first introduction to shipping, YA (or general) romance tropes and how formulaic they can be sometimes. I think the fandom being appalled by some of the ships (whether fanon or crack ships) shows a bit of that juvenile mentality too because sometimes…the shipping isn't meant to be that deep.

I will say that not turning things over in your mind or thinking critically isn't always a bad thing per se, because sometimes we don't want to think; we just want to turn our brains off and freely read the text. I have those moments too. But when it comes to discussions (which I think is crucial in fandom spaces) we run into so much hypocrisy and “bad takes”, and it just creates a pool of frustration within the fandom space. I think everyone should know that criticism is not negativity, and that we can question what we read while still loving it. That's all okay, we don't need to mindlessly adhere to everything in a book just because we're trying to follow trends on booktok or because the narrative says so or because we need our favourite ship to be superior. We're not mindless robots and we're not little children, but the fandom does come off as childish sometimes…

[batsplat]

breaking a blog policy of non-engagement with active discourse unless explicitly asked about it,, below the cut,, I intend this to be a one-off thing, look away

seen some snarking about this article on the race dot com about where marc fits into the current title fight, and specifically this paragraph:

because ofc it's some kind of grievous sin to equate the current two title contenders with the two title contenders in 2015, one of whomst was well past his prime and the other who in many ways had a deeply untidy season. the argument might be that the current spec ducati has a bike advantage over marc, which. you'll never guess how the 2015 yamaha measured up against the 2015 honda. and yeah, it sure is embarrassing how the current title contenders chuck away bucket loads of points through sheer stupidity. after all, when racing in the wet in misano, it's unforgivable to pit at the wrong time and emerge with only one point - why not simply crash and emerge from that weekend with zero points instead? imagine finishing second behind marc in those conditions, when you could instead swap bikes far too late and finish a lowly fifth

it's worth putting that paragraph in context of what the piece was actually saying:

all of this is categorically true. it doesn't mean marc might not still win this year's championship if both jorge and pecco make enough mistakes, but quite obviously those two are closer to the 2015 title contenders than 2017. in the former, marc could not bank on a consistent pace advantage, in the latter he could; this feels like quite a straightforward point to be making. dovi's phillip island stinker did kill his championship momentum - and given the sheer consistency of performances jorge and pecco have put in when it comes to their pace, it would be very surprising to see an equivalent from those two. don't even get me started on whatever the fuck maverick vinales was doing that year after like,, the first five races, which lack of a dominant bike is quite frankly not enough to excuse. the rest of the article assesses marc's chances entirely fairly, essentially expanding on the argument that you just wouldn't expect that kind of consistent performance edge that he would need to overturn the points deficit. (I personally think marc is a little more likely to be a title threat than the author of the article does, though I also don't fundamentally disagree with anything specific being said; mainly I just feel vibes-wise that sprint races have made title fights insanely volatile.) he could still win - but in terms of how he compares to the opposition, there is no argument whatsoever to be made that this is not closer to 2015 than 2017. even if you believe this is only due to bike difference, in which case I think you are possibly giving 2017 dovi and vinales a little too much credit, the points raised in the article still stand up to scrutiny

it is perhaps inevitable that people will deify the greats of the past - even more so if they dislike the top riders of the present and feel that they are undeserving of their current success. it does, however, seem to come along with a skewed understanding of the actual greats in question, of where they were strong and where they faltered. valentino and lorenzo had two title fights, both of which were error-strewn affairs and hardly their best seasons. sprints have helped further distort perceptions of how error-prone these current riders really are, because at the end of the day neither martin nor pecco are on course for a radically different error rate than the title contenders in 2009. lorenzo lost his head in jerez when he was the pre-race favourite and ended up crashing trying to overcompensate for his surprisingly poor pace, valentino had an absolute howler at le mans that makes misano this year from martin look like a paragon of good decision-making and composure under pressure, jorge practically handed the championship to valentino with back-to-back dnf's at donington and brno, valentino incidentally also crashed at donington and got extremely lucky to have a bike that was still rideable to fifth, then proceeded to just chuck it for absolutely no reason at indy with a mistake that was so obviously stupid and needless he showed up to misano with a donkey helmet. valentino followed up misano with a poor fourth in estoril because he got lost with the set-up that weekend - and buddy, if you think the gp24 bike advantage is bad, let me tell you a story about how yamaha/ducati/honda were doing back in the day compared to the field. fourth might as well have been last. (I don't love single manufacturer domination either, but let's not pretend like the gaps between bikes aren't way, way, way smaller than they were in '09.) then jorge, with momentum and opportunity on his side, gets so spooked by valentino's pace in practise he bins it on the very first lap of phillip island, essentially ending the championship fight then and there. neither of them deliver a particularly dignified performance in sepang. during this title fight, there were three instances of crashing out of the lead and one from a very close second. jorge martin and pecco bagnaia eat your hearts out

and 2015? the season that was actually being referenced in the championship? valentino was only in that championship fight due to his relentless consistency, a handful of starring performances and an ability to not completely fuck it when a few rain drops started falling. his pace was flat-out not good enough to be a title contender - if anything, on raw pace he was more competitive for a big chunk of 2016 than he had been the year before. he was qualifying abysmally in an era where the gaps between bikes were considerably larger, reflecting a far poorer performance than equivalent grid positions would nowadays, and certainly would have nothing to counter the consistency in qualifying the two title contenders this year have demonstrated. jorge had to work hard to come as close to losing that championship as he did, going through a bizarre and borderline embarrassing set of helmet visor issues early on in the season that he should never have allowed to happen. he was peak metronome that year, able to dominate and win from the front but otherwise rife with limitations, repeatedly performing poorly when he was put ever so slightly off-balance. in many ways, he got very lucky to not be penalised more for his horrendous silverstone performance. he was also helped by the gap between the factory yamahas and hondas to the field being so large, because otherwise some of his inconsistency would have cost him a hell of a lot more. both of their seasons had laughably obvious flaws that just about managed to offset each other's enough to make a title decider possible - but if you ever so slightly change the formula, if the qualifying format had still been different or the bike disparities larger or smaller or any of that, it would have probably tipped it quite strongly one way or the other. a battle of the titans it was not

none of this is to say that valentino or jorge are shit riders, or that marc is a fraud for letting himself be so thoroughly beaten by them in 2015 on what was ultimately still a competitive bike. at a certain point, however, you are comparing the current athletes with versions of the past greats who quite frankly did not exist 90% of the time. if you are sufficiently motivated, you can come up with pretty decent slander for anyone. it is also presenting an idealised version of the sport in the past that, again, did not exist. while the gp24's advantage over the field is substantial, if we are talking in terms of raw lap times, it is substantially less so than the gap the top few factory teams had in the past. the aliens did not dominate from 2007 to 2015 to the extent that they did because they were just so brilliant - they were performing at a high level, yes, but also nobody else really stood a chance. as hard as it may be to accept, when you have riders who so consistently have a pace advantage as pecco and martin do, including over the fellow riders on the same machinery, it is possible they may simply be doing an actual good job. and the more pecco adds to his resume, the more difficult it will become to not consider him in the same tier of rider as at least some of the aliens. yes, I am talking about lorenzo here - a man who incidentally did not convincingly pass the 'only good with one manufacturer' test that's already being dangled in front of pecco. if we really want to go into the weeds, it's worth pointing out that pecco's luck has also not been particularly fantastic this year, from mechanical gremlins at the le mans sprint to being wiped out by binder at the jerez sprint to the qualifying position at aragon working against him and losing out quite severely in what are at worst 60:40 racing incidents twice this season - sometimes, you do get punished a lot for relatively minor missteps. so yeah, if you want to compare the current trio of title contenders with anyone, then 2015 feels as good a place as any. sometimes the greats of the past did suck, idk what to tell you. they would be a hell of a lot more boring if they hadn't

[kayvsworld]

hi! sorry im autistic and i can't understand what your post means? the trans fem tony one. can you do a "TLDR"? its just very confusing, sorry.

are you against trans fem tony? i personally see him as trans masc

Hi! so the post in question is not about him being trans fem, or about headcanoning him as trans at all, or headcanoning him as anything—it's a discussion of [this] old post that went around in 2016.

That post (very long) argued that tony is the most female-coded superhero, based on the author calling a series of increasingly wild traits "female-coded", and ends by saying that tony in cacw uses "a classic strategy of the disenfranchised" (bewildering)

i was just saying that i'm dismissing a lot of the post because it's silly and kind of offensive (the arc reactor is like a bra? obsessive compulsive behaviours are feminine? he's short, like only women are?)

But i CAN see how someone might look at tony's character, and the stories being told with it, and go "hey, that's more like the kinds of problems and stories I'm used to seeing be written for female characters than for your standard male superhero"

but it's not about headcanoning, or tony's actual gender! transfem tony is very cool, transmasc tony is very cool <3 please headcanon him however you like and have fun <3

[saiiboat]

if you had to summarize cellbit in one paragraph what would you say .. i see you post so much im intrigued but im not sure if im ready for the deluge of cellbit information you surely have in your head

hi jackieeeee :33 i feel like ive just been given a homework assignment

cellbit is a brazilian game designer, roleplayer, game master, and massive variety streamer who enjoys playing and supporting a lot of indie games and frequently interacts with other devs! hes played a frankly insane amount of different games on stream. like a lot.

^^ a lot

he's also the creator of Ordem Paranormal [link], an insanely popular horror ttrpg, and gms in the ttrpg podcast of the same name ^_^ you can watch that here [link]! hes a super fucking talented gm its kinda crazy. while all of Ordem is in portuguese (with the exception of OPQ which is in english), AOP and OSNF are fully captioned in english and spanish, with OPD having the first few episodes done and more being worked on. his videogame, Enigma do Medo/Enigma of Fear, takes place in the world of Ordem and is coming out this year and he'll probably keep not streaming until it comes out, hence why you're always seeing me go insane saying i miss him. the steam page for the game is here [link] :33

he also acted in Fuga Impossível [link], Tazercraft's 2015 mcrp prison escape miniseries where he played Cell, an awful and violent inmate who antagonized Pac and Mike, as well as in QSMP (vod links here and wiki here) where he played a continuation of Cell's story, although in an alternate universe where Cell cannibalized Pac's leg during the events of Fuga. qcellbit, after escaping prison, a few years of therapy and eventually getting stuck on a shit ass island, is a father, an uncle, a husband, a brother, a friend, and a dork. he's also someone put in a situation where all of the people he loves are in danger and he would do anything, anything to save them, even becoming the person he once was and never truly stopped being. he's a very loving and self-sacrificial character who loves a good mystery perhaps a little too much. he also killed his fiance's abuelo because he was threatening their wedding. important note

[leezuhh]

it's crazy to me that there are people out there who still think that media and fiction do not affect how people think at all

[triglycercule]

ok horror didn't go through all the different hundreds and thousands of resets that dust (and killer) went through sure but like. he went through something id consider pretty similar???? because through 7 years there HAD to have been a plethora of humans falling down into horrortale like we can see the countless amount of people that died there in toriel's home or in blue snow or in grillby's or even just that first human that aliza hides behind when she first enters snowdin!!!!!!!

and (i dont really know where this rant is going i will not lie 💀) horror (the prick he is) has to see all these humans he has to meet them and introduce him to all of them and at what point does it just turn into routine for him?? they all just blend into one skin colored bipedal figure and the only important part of them are their insides (which i could go on and on about how gross that probably is 🙁🙁) and how them eventually all fall to their deaths

everyone in horrortale is far too gone to particularly care anyways if aliza wasn't so smart and lucky (plot armor SMH) nobody except horror and paps would probably remember her name. and horror would only remember to add a name to the list of "spices" that are in papyrus's spaghetti and then forget it all again. it's all just an endless cycle of human falls down and eventually dies. nobody in horrortale cares enough (if the human doesnt make some sort of big event happen like how aliza stood up to undyne (i doubt snowdin monsters gaf about her b4 that aside from eating her)) and in the end theyll just turn into food again and then the cycle repeats. its kinda like a reverse dusttale (❓❓❓) where instead of the monsters dying over and over to the human's hands it's humans dying over and over to horror's hands

and now that i've established that 🤓👆 time to tie the trio into this! i mean technically dusttale is a loops of both those things happening with the human killing the underground over and over and then dust killing them in the end??? so i think both dust and horror could relate to that?????

a repeated cycle of a human entering the underground and eventually dying,,,, feeling everything go back to a fixed state (literally with dust's resets and a bit more metaphorically with snowdin not caring all that much in horrortale)

having to start off disgusted with killing and then eventually learning to find enjoyment in it (likely because satisfaction of death is the only reprise from the repetitive slog and boredom that is their aus),,,,

somehow feeling guilt for everyone in their world because of what you've doomed them to by your own hands but also being over it and having grown apathetic. theyre still alive. dust sees his underground alive all the time and so does horror his underground's still (mostly) alive. but dust's underground doesnt survive longer than a few minutes now when they see eithe him or the human (so does it even count as life or is it just a barely fufilled light snuffed out) and horror practically already considers them all dead men walking and theyll all probably die one day anyway with how things are in horrortale so whats the point in even trying and doing something fufilling when everything is so so so shit??? (on dust's end this next similarity is ambiguous :3)

& also what they did to their respective papyruses and how they feel??? ik horror probably feels like shit for tricking papyrus into eating humans but he did the right thing (in his eyes. his EYE). he made the right choice to trick him even if it was bad it was the only thing he could do to help snowdin (sure as hell better than undick's choice to try and use him as cannon fodder for the core) and dust i feeeeel would have a similar thought process. papyrus shouldnt die he doesnt deserve to die but its what needs to be done. he's giving papyrus the longer end of the stick by killing him because its better than being killed by the HUMAN. he doesnt like it but he does it anyway because its what "needs" to be done!!! more similarity,,,,,,, esuaghhhh mtt parallel,,,,,,,

how many more similarities can i milk out. i dont know but anyways i doubt they'd bother talking to eachother about their feelings on this because gawddamn these guys and vulnerability!!! horror wouldn't tell a soul (especially not some freak version of him that killed everyone with some cheap excuse that it was to save them from some freaky human that dust swears he should remember but doesnt. but for the sake of this rant just pretend they dont know about eachother's lore :3) about what he did and what happened in horrortale because THATS HIS BUSINESS!!! dont stick ur head into stuff that youre not involved in PRICK he never gave permission for dust to know that

and dust wouldn't tell either because (i think!!! this part is just me fanonizing dust's reason necessary for this part of my silly horrordust rant. also obligatory "this is all my fanon interpretation of them" because i ran out of space in tags) he doesn't think horror would relate nor would be care. he's gotten too used to not telling anybody what he's doing or why or explaining himself to those he knows and loves back in dusttale so why would he even tell any of that to some random stranger with his only connection to him being that they both used to be the same person b4??

he wouldn't horror wouldn't and they both live in not so blissful ignorance about eachother and just how similar they are. or maybe they only know surface level and make up assumptions and stereotypes because they dont care enough or simply just dont have any attachment invested into eachother to want to actually think things through

TRIGLYCERCULE THIS IS TOO LONG I DIDN'T READ!!!!!! ok 🤣🤣🤣 tldr horror has many parallels and similarities with dust that would only be realized by them if they got self aware enough (which like. when is that ever happening). maybe if they cared enough and liked eachother enough they'd probably bond over their shared similarities,,,,,,,, aka by hunting down horrortale frisk

[jinglyhigh-heels]

Okay so. Now that I’m not thick in the Emotions this game was giving me, I have come to the realization that this game does SO good at portraying abuse.

So uh. Expect to see a lot (Lot) of talk about that, under the cut.

I’ll start with the most recent realization, which was how the cat was dictating your actions the entire time. It explicitly says so at the end: it was your narrator throughout this whole game. And then how you had to struggle through narrating your own actions at the very end? Solid.

Then, the second most recent realization: you may have ‘messed up’ in the very first ending, but the cat just goes on to show you that literally anything you could’ve done was the ‘wrong choice.’ It found enjoyment in watching you try again and again to see what you could’ve done differently: which is such a good way of telling the player that this isn’t on you. Often times people who are in abusive relationships are blamed for the violence inflicted upon them. If you dressed differently, went to bed instead of watching tv, made such-and-such for dinner instead of so-and/so, did whatever was the catalyst for your abuse differently, then it wouldn’t have happened. But this game is saying no! That’s not how it works! People who want to hurt you WILL hurt you, and it’s not your fault.

As an addition to that point, you cannot avoid doing something that will get you killed (well, except for the ending where you help your cat kill everyone else, but I digress). Even when you see the death coming, and choose the option that gets you away, you run out of things to do. You either have to stay in a single loop—or, well, daydream in this case—forever, or do something that makes the cat (or something else) kills you.

Then, the endings where you feed the cat your blood. It’s really interesting! These endings made me think of what it’s like being in an abusive relationship when you have a child. The choice of whether to risk an even greater abuse to—maybe even temporarily—protect someone who couldn’t protect themself, or whether to turn a blind eye and let your own abuse be temporarily paused, permanently stopped, minimized, or even just kept the same but importantly not made worse; it just reminds me of stories I’ve seen in the past. And you might think, well, you should obviously choose the first one, right? But the game does a good job of showing the dilemma someone who’s being abused might go through. See, if you choose the former option, you die. And as you say when dying: how can you protect anyone now? It’s the same with the mouse, when you choose to let it go. You saved one, for the price of one, and now the cat is free to kill as many more as it desires. And that’s not even considering the instinctive desire to protect oneself, or how the abuser might have changed how you look at the abuse. All this to say, it’s a pretty great portrayal of a dilemma that often shows up in abusive relationships that have a dependent involved (which doesn’t always mean a child, despite what I said in the beginning of this section).

Next up, the dog park. This is pretty heavily related to the first point; which, upon rereading, wasn’t expanded on enough, so let’s talk about it again. This section, the narration goes on and on a lot about how disgusting dogs are, how everything’d be so much better with the cat, and then even your visual perception of these dogs is altered to make them terrifying—part of an attempt to lure you back to the cat (not that you can. Actually do that, if you’re at this point). As part of the game, the cat’s influence is really obvious, and really direct. It’s literally, directly admitted to influencing your thoughts like this. But you don’t need magic or psychic powers, or whatever, in order to influence someone’s thoughts. And abusive people take advantage of that often! They tell you stories, or act a certain way, or inflict physical pain in order to make you view something positively or negatively. Like, if your abuser would curse out dogs all the time while drunk and slamming cabinets, or something. You might look at dogs and be reminded of the fear and paranoia you felt while the cabinets were slamming. (To give a simple example.)

Then, the endings where you almost feed the cat chocolate. These endings do a great job at exploring two different mindsets that abuse victims often have. One, that thoughts of doing something bad are nearly as reprehensible as doing the act itself. When you almost feed the cat chocolate—and by ‘almost’, I mean, you pull it out of your pocket while searching for food and then merely look towards the cat, the beginnings of consideration in your mind, before you stop—you’re wracked with guilt aaaalllll throughout the journey home, and the cats reinforce this guilt. And then this one is specific towards the ending where you ignore the cats, where you turn into a fish and realize now that you have a way to ‘repent’ for what you did. The cat is staring at you, and likely has the means to grab you, but what’s notable here is that you, on your own will, swim up to the surface. And even after you’ve sacrificed yourself, you find yourself feeling guilt that you couldn’t feed all the cats, couldn’t truly repent for what you’d “done.” Which, again, was literally just thinking about doing something, and even before you realized that it would be bad (not that that makes a difference, because thoughts aren’t bad 🔫). This is kinda similar to what happens when you let the mouse go, but that one is unique in that you: 1.) stay still. You don’t deliver yourself to your death like you do in the fish-transformation ending. 2) don’t say anything about regretting being unable to give the cat its fill. Probably because, well. You probably are able to.

And then of course, The ending. This is, most definitely, the least subtle thing ever. Even if I hadn’t happened to exit the game partway through (and then actually read the CWs upon reentering), this likely would’ve let me figure out pretty fuckin quick what was goin on.

I’m gonna split this into three parts: the beginning of the end, the end, and the post-end.

To begin my discussion of the former, I need to mention that the end is you not letting the cat (who, in case this wasn’t obvious by now, is your abuser) back into your home. This is a HUGE step for abuse victims. It’s, hard. Like, in this case it may have been due to magic, but the cat was literally rewriting your brain. Also, you’re lonely, and the cat provided at least some comfort. A helluva lotta pain, sure, but they gave you more comfort than you were receiving anywhere else. Not every situation is the same, but there’s almost always some big hurdle keeping you with the abuser. In this case, the game lets you climb that hurdle through the help of previous victims. This is good, because it avoids the pitfall of ‘to escape abuse you just need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.’ And, ‘the pain they inflict on you will be enough motivation.’ Like no! This wasn’t something you could do on your own!

Then for the second part, I’m first gonna talk about the lead up to the end: the chase scene, as you’re trying to get home. In that, the cat begs you to stay, saying they’ll die without you, that they’re nothing without you.

And here’s where I make the disclaimer that I’ve never been abused, nor have I ever abused. Furthermore, while I have read many accounts from people who have been abused, I have read very little from the perspective of the abuser (at least, ones that were from people who had recognized and accepted that they were abusive).

However, with this dialogue, it seemed like the cat really believed what it was saying. And from what I can tell, it seems like (SOME) irl abusers actually feel the same? They punish you because they worry that if you enjoy the world outside of them, then you’ll love it so much more and leave—and what would they do without you? And I say this, because then the ending of the game is teaching the lesson that: THAT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

You staying with them did not help them get better. They had every chance, every single second you were together they could have chosen to change, and instead they chose to continue hurting you. Going back will not prove to them that they need to change or they will lose you: it will only tell them that they need to take away even more of your power so you CAN’T leave. Splitting up is not only the best thing that you can do for yourself, but it is the best thing you can do for them: even if they don’t seem like it.

Which is a great segue into the post-end. Because it really proves the point! You may have been lonely, but your abuser wasn’t your only option. You did find someone, and this one won’t kill you! :D I do have mixed feelings on the new cat being a black cat with their right eye gone though. One the one hand, it could potentially be interpreted as you letting your abuser, reformed(?), into your house. On the other, sndndinwjd. (<- that was initially a placeholder but you know what? I’m leaving it.)

For example, if you view its coat as a symbolism for a trait like gender, then choosing another black cat could be like dating another woman after your last abuser was a woman. The traits don’t make the abuser, yada yada. Very good! But since we’re dealing with cats, the creator would’ve had to deal with the issue that cats (especially in a simpler art style) Can Kinda Look Similar. And I know that if I, personally, had seen that image and the cat had both eyes, I would’ve immediately been like ‘oh sHIT THE ABUSER’S BACK—’ and had a mini heart attack. /j So. They were probably trying to find a way to make it obvious that THIS cat was not the abusive one.

But not only did you find someone better to replace the abuser with, you are just overall happier without them in your life, and the game did an excellent job of portraying this: by making you go through all the locations you already did. It was such a good parallel. Visiting any location while you were under your the cat’s paw you marred by anxiety and death. But visiting those same places on your own, after ditching it? You have fun times at every one! You even meet new people—and I really love the way the game handled that, because it could have suddenly made us outgoing and extroverted. But nope! We were an introvert walking in, and we’re an introvert walking out. That’s not a bad thing.

One final note that I realized while writing this, is that the game does a VERY good job of giving you a reason for sticking with the cat. See, I can’t think of any specific examples, but I feel like when most people see their main character in an abusive relationship they get frustrated by why they won’t leave. They, the player, can see what’s happening and see the means to escape. The character themself likely has a reason for staying, but the player doesn’t feel whatever emotions are behind that, so it’s pretty easy for them to either view the reason as ‘stupid,’ or to discount the reason altogether. To properly tell an abuse story, I think a really important aspect is being able to see why they wouldn’t leave. To feel, even a little bit, of what the victim is feeling. This game does that in two very simple, yet effective, ways. First, by making the abuser Cute and Smoll. There’s no har~m giving them a chance~! It’s an adorable kitty cat~ (And even when it does do bad things, it’s like “dohhh~ you didn’t know what you were doing~, did u my wittle cutie patootie~”) By virtue of it being adorable, many people immediately have a baseline bond with the cat, which is later made deeper by all the cute scenes, and the moments of backwards kindness in which the cat directly or indirectly helps you out in some way. The second, juxtaposing the first, is done by making the cat incomprehensibly powerful. You see for yourself the power it can, and is willing to, wield against you. Sure, most (and, hopefully, all) abusers don’t have this kind of eldritch power, but to many abuse victims, it sure may seem like it. Maybe it’s financial, or social, or maybe they’re just scarily good with guns: regardless, it tends to be a hurdle that feels impossible to overcome, though it may seem different to an outsider looking in. By making the abuser literally impossible to defeat until you’re given help by outside means (aka, the game, via the former victims), it places you right into the eyes of a victim gazing upon their abuser. This incomprehensible power pairs really well with the cuteness factor, by making the cat seem almost innocent in everything they do. Sure, they ripped me to shreds when my laser pointer was reflected to the back of my head; but they’re just a wittle kitty, how can I blame them for following their instincts~. Not every abuser has this veneer of innocence, but when it’s there it can make recognizing (as was my experience here lol) and reporting abuse to be extra difficult.

[askweisswolf]

Last Six Sentences

Share the last six sentences you've written.

@foibles-fables tagged me for this, thank you so much! Well timed too haha, I've been steadily chipping away at the second chapter of my platonic-Vaggily-turned-platonic (???)-Chaggily fic Bear One Another's Burdens:

“Oh! Yes, of course.” “Great.” Immediately Vaggie’s hands were on Emily’s shoulders, and Emily was abruptly reminded of the fact that they were two very different kinds of angel because Vaggie may have been shorter than her, but the strength she channeled into her touch to make the seraphim sit down absolutely didn’t match her smaller stature. “Stay like this and try to spread your wings as much as you can, this is gonna take awhile.” The thought of trying to spread her wings again made Emily wince, but she was bracing herself for doing it anyway when Charlie gently squeezed her shoulder, looking at Vaggie. “I have an idea I think could help,” she said, then met Emily’s gaze. “If you’re okay with me touching you too?”

Tagging @the-darkness-does-not-bargain, @magicmissiled, @ohmypawsandwhiskers, @camillathe6th, and @the-rebel-archivist. And of course, anyone who sees this is free to join in!

[waywardstation]

Heyo! I was looking through your blog n stuff, and found that animation for your work in progress fic “I Won’t Leave You Behind” and I’m wondering if that is still happening? Totally fair and cool if you’re not working on anything right now because of your Reblog game!

In regards to this post

Hey there! Yes it is! I’m doing the Reblog game yes, but I’m still in my Google docs whenever I’m out and about and have some time to do so, even if those times few and far between right now ^^

It’s also been a bit slow because I’ve been going back and making so so so many changes with wording and trying to reframe scenes on what’s important rather than just describing everything needlessly.

But yes I’m still working on it! :)

(More of the Reblog ask game should be out soon too, I would have had it up earlier but a migraine has been stopping me from being able to look at screens ^^;)

[lemonthepotato]

Cringe warning: very bad Esperanto.

Mi povas mergi min en Esperanto čar mi ne faris multe da progreso ekde 2019. Mi kredas mi komencis lerni en 2019, sed mi rezignis dum (por?) unua jaro. Mi rezignis la hispana, la franca, la japana kaj la irlandano čar… nu, estas evidente kial. Tro da lingvoj lerni (por lerni? Lerni sentas malgxuste.)

Sed, mi restis kun la Esperanto(n?) čar gxi estas facila. Mi volas lerni lingvon por la sakeo (that’s… is that seriously the word? Sakeo? I joked once that Esperanto is 80% English words with -o and the end and 15% other languages with o- at the end, but I digress) de lerni lingvon. Homoj diras ke tio estas malbono kialo, sed, kial? Estas amuza… ne estas krimo amuziĝi.

Honeste, mi estis (estis for ‘have been?’ doesn’t feel right…) uzi Google Translate por helpi min, sed ne por lambastono. nur por kontroli se mia gramatiko estas bona. Ne estas, evidente, sed… mi estas nesekura pri gramatiko. Mi scias ke gxi ne estas bona, sed gxi estas probable pli bona ol mi sed mi ne uzis gxin.

Cxiuokaze… mi havas punkton kun ĉi tio; estas malfacila mergi en konlang! Jes, mi povus aligxi servilo de Discord, sed… la embaraso. Mi estus kiel, “Bonvolu… mi estas…” kaj havas furzo de cerba! Cerba furzo? (Googling how to stutter in Esperanto. Great.) (also I’m realising I said bonvolu instead of… oh my god? Am I seriously forgetting hello? Oh, Saluton!)

Cxu mi probable lernu la lingvon de miaj lando, la irlandano? Probable, sed honeste? Neniu parolas la irlandano en la nordo. Ili apenaŭ en la sudo. (Ne estas sude, mi ne zorgas se Google translate diras alie… ne sentas gxusta.)

Cxu mi havas punkto kun cxi tio? Ne. Sed, hej, diras al mi kiel CLAPPED mia Esperanto estas. Kaj, jes, mi eĉ ne provis traduki clapped cxar gxi estas pli amuza al ne.

Mi estas tiel malbona pri Esperanto. Mi devas fidi al tradukistoj por helpo. Mi uzas Google Translate por helpi kun tempoj kaj gramatikoj, sed la vortoj estas plejparte el mia cerbo, se tio havas sencon.

Mi ne havas kialon pri ĉi tio. Mi supozas, ke ĉi tio estas testo de miaj kapabloj. La rezultoj? Tre malbona, sed, hej, mi afiŝos ĉi tio, ĉiuokaze.

Edit: after writing this post, I got an easy, actually video about languages recommended… lol

[chesters-ocs]

I'm in dire need of some fluff, so I'm humbly requesting for a little blurb of Sylvester with little Sammy and Mārīte (because we can never have enough content of Sylvester and the kids being happy).

throwing in butcher too, because im never not gonna get over them 4 as a little family unit. and im calling butcher adam here because i myself need to get used to it still. idk what this is. movie night, apparently

wc: 725

"Sam! I see you, sweetheart! Wait for the movie to start, until shoving popcorn down the hatch, alright?" Adam scolds jokingly, a smile on his face, as he caught the preschooler red-handed in the kitchen, sitting on the table in the dark.

Still having a mouthful of the snack, Samuel wasn't able to do much except nod awkwardly at being caught elbow-deep into the bowl, and Adam didn't miss the way the boy startled, chuckling.

"Come on, give me that bowl, young man. And this is for your dad, you know he can't have sweets like you and your sister can. We've been over this," he reminded, as the boy, finally with a cleared mouth, whined, trying to reach for the salted popcorn still, huffing when his father just raised it higher in the air, tutting disapprovingly: "You picked the caramel one for yourself, now you have to eat it. Or is that now mine-" "No! Okay, I'm sorry!"

Adam snorted at the instant panicked yell and apologies, and ushered Sammy out of the kitchen, still holding the popcorn dish above the younger ones head. "It's alright, kiddo, no one's mad," he reassures, patting him with his free hand, leisurely trailing into the living room.

The lights were already dimmed, with Mary on the carpeted floor, flipping trough a CD case and taking sips of soda from a glass. A glass she barely managed to put down before getting tackled by her brother from behind, wanting to play with her. The second he made contact, the girl couldn't help but scream in surprise, causing their father's eyes to widen in a short-lived moment of panic, he exclaimed, clapping his hands together to get their attention and putting the large popcorn on the couch.

"Kids! No blood!" Adam reminded, earning two annoyed groans from the kids, as they both sat on the carpet, now having their little fight become verbal rather than physical.

"No fair! He started it!"

"Did not! She did!"

"Nuh-uh! Papa, Sammy's a liar!"

"Says the liar!"

'Christ, here they go again' Adam thought, sitting down with a groan, listening to the kids he so dearly loved argue once more, in voices so high pitched and loud they could give any man a headache.

Luckily, his savior stepped trough the entryway, his hair still a little wet from the shower, and wearing fuzzy pajamas. Sylvester looked at the arguing children and then at his boyfriend with a questioning look, carefully lowering himself onto the couch, leaving his cane nearby.

"Ask them yourselves," Adam muttered, popping a piece of Sylvester's popcorn in his mouth.

And so the catfight began again, as they tried to shift the blame onto the other.

"Dad! Dad, Sammy pushed me over!"

"No! Mary hit me first!"

"Did not!" The girl tried to defend herself against the obvious lie her brother was attempting to craft.

"Did too! And she... uh. She also ate your popcorn, dad! Right papa?" Sammy turned to Adam, completely forgetting that he was the one who caught his son in the act.

Laughing softly, he shook his head, his smile widening: "Sam, baby... You're a bad liar, with an even worse memory."

A beat goes by as the boy processes the words, and he tries to stammer his way out of this blunder, before Sylvester cuts him off with a soft hand on his shoulder.

"I- Uhm, well-"

"Shh.. It's alright. But for that, how about we let your sister pick what we watch today, hm?"

"Yes!" "No!" The kids yell at the same time, and the girl sticks her tongue out mockingly, blowing a raspberry in Samuel's face.

"She's gonna pick something stupid again!"

"Your face is stupid!"

"Kids! Enough," Adam groans loudly, not wanting to listen to more nonsensical yelling, and just relax with his lover in his arms.

"So... Go on, get the disc," Sylvester encouraged, letting himself be spooned by the other, with soft kisses already getting peppered in the crook of his neck.

When the movie started, Sammy laid down on his stomach, next to Mary, who was also on the floor, her soda back in her hand, a bowl of their own, sweet popcorn between them, while the other dish was safely tucked in-between the two adults, one of which was still too busy with his affectionate assault towards his lover.

[wren-writes-things]

Tired Wren… you are a baffling being.

[misunderstandings-georg]

Trying to not only convince my friend to borrow house of leaves from me but also trying to decide the most frustrating ways I could possibly annotate it beforehand. Any suggestions would be greatly appeeciated

[mariana-oconnor]

Today in the Decameron: fuck the Germans, I guess.

Maybe literally... Probably literally if I know anything about this book.

[bayetea]

it is a miracle of biblical magnitude that I manage to write anything at all when my adhd is /this/ bad

[emailsfromanactor]

The official new edition of Letters from an Actor has arrived and I'm working on a post about how my version is better, but for now, I say, this is interesting:

Some thirty years ago, Richardson was rehearsing a play with a man whom I shall call Cyril Sunt. The latter was the last of the old-time directors on the British side of the Atlantic. By “old-time,” I mean abusive, cruel, sarcastic, and contemptuous of actors. He had (and has) his American equivalents, of course, but let them be nameless here.

In my physical copy, printed in 1984, and also in the PDF I worked from, scanned from a copy printed in the '60s (I think), that passage goes like this:

Some thirty years ago, Richardson was rehearsing a play directed by Basil Dean. The latter was the last of the old-time directors on the British side of the Atlantic. By “old-time,” I mean abusive, cruel, sarcastic, and contemptuous of actors. His American equivalent, albeit far younger, would be Jed Harris. Mr. Harris, however, has changed. So far as I know, Mr. Dean never did. 

The PDF also had this author's note pasted onto the title page:

Since publication of LETTERS FROM AN ACTOR, Mr Basil Dean and Sir Ralph Richardson have strongly denied that there is any truth in the anecdote concerning them which appears on pages 51 and 52 of this book. I told it in good faith but I am now quite certain that it has no foundation in fact.

The new edition doesn't seem to have the note - looking for it was how I discovered the weird changes. Did Redfield himself make the changes? If so, why weren't they in the 1984 edition? In the afterword (very interesting, I'd post it but I think I've committed enough copyright infringement), Redfield's son Adam says there are a few changes he (Adam) would have liked to make, but didn't. He didn't even change the part where his dad got his age wrong. So. What's with Cyril Sunt and his nameless American equivalents?