#discussion of an abuse narrative
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jinglyhigh-heels · 5 months ago
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Okay so. Now that I’m not thick in the Emotions this game was giving me, I have come to the realization that this game does SO good at portraying abuse.
So uh. Expect to see a lot (Lot) of talk about that, under the cut.
I’ll start with the most recent realization, which was how the cat was dictating your actions the entire time. It explicitly says so at the end: it was your narrator throughout this whole game. And then how you had to struggle through narrating your own actions at the very end? Solid.
Then, the second most recent realization: you may have ‘messed up’ in the very first ending, but the cat just goes on to show you that literally anything you could’ve done was the ‘wrong choice.’ It found enjoyment in watching you try again and again to see what you could’ve done differently: which is such a good way of telling the player that this isn’t on you. Often times people who are in abusive relationships are blamed for the violence inflicted upon them. If you dressed differently, went to bed instead of watching tv, made such-and-such for dinner instead of so-and/so, did whatever was the catalyst for your abuse differently, then it wouldn’t have happened. But this game is saying no! That’s not how it works! People who want to hurt you WILL hurt you, and it’s not your fault.
As an addition to that point, you cannot avoid doing something that will get you killed (well, except for the ending where you help your cat kill everyone else, but I digress). Even when you see the death coming, and choose the option that gets you away, you run out of things to do. You either have to stay in a single loop—or, well, daydream in this case—forever, or do something that makes the cat (or something else) kills you.
Then, the endings where you feed the cat your blood. It’s really interesting! These endings made me think of what it’s like being in an abusive relationship when you have a child. The choice of whether to risk an even greater abuse to—maybe even temporarily—protect someone who couldn’t protect themself, or whether to turn a blind eye and let your own abuse be temporarily paused, permanently stopped, minimized, or even just kept the same but importantly not made worse; it just reminds me of stories I’ve seen in the past. And you might think, well, you should obviously choose the first one, right? But the game does a good job of showing the dilemma someone who’s being abused might go through. See, if you choose the former option, you die. And as you say when dying: how can you protect anyone now? It’s the same with the mouse, when you choose to let it go. You saved one, for the price of one, and now the cat is free to kill as many more as it desires. And that’s not even considering the instinctive desire to protect oneself, or how the abuser might have changed how you look at the abuse. All this to say, it’s a pretty great portrayal of a dilemma that often shows up in abusive relationships that have a dependent involved (which doesn’t always mean a child, despite what I said in the beginning of this section).
Next up, the dog park. This is pretty heavily related to the first point; which, upon rereading, wasn’t expanded on enough, so let’s talk about it again. This section, the narration goes on and on a lot about how disgusting dogs are, how everything’d be so much better with the cat, and then even your visual perception of these dogs is altered to make them terrifying—part of an attempt to lure you back to the cat (not that you can. Actually do that, if you’re at this point). As part of the game, the cat’s influence is really obvious, and really direct. It’s literally, directly admitted to influencing your thoughts like this. But you don’t need magic or psychic powers, or whatever, in order to influence someone’s thoughts. And abusive people take advantage of that often! They tell you stories, or act a certain way, or inflict physical pain in order to make you view something positively or negatively. Like, if your abuser would curse out dogs all the time while drunk and slamming cabinets, or something. You might look at dogs and be reminded of the fear and paranoia you felt while the cabinets were slamming. (To give a simple example.)
Then, the endings where you almost feed the cat chocolate. These endings do a great job at exploring two different mindsets that abuse victims often have. One, that thoughts of doing something bad are nearly as reprehensible as doing the act itself. When you almost feed the cat chocolate—and by ‘almost’, I mean, you pull it out of your pocket while searching for food and then merely look towards the cat, the beginnings of consideration in your mind, before you stop—you’re wracked with guilt aaaalllll throughout the journey home, and the cats reinforce this guilt. And then this one is specific towards the ending where you ignore the cats, where you turn into a fish and realize now that you have a way to ‘repent’ for what you did. The cat is staring at you, and likely has the means to grab you, but what’s notable here is that you, on your own will, swim up to the surface. And even after you’ve sacrificed yourself, you find yourself feeling guilt that you couldn’t feed all the cats, couldn’t truly repent for what you’d “done.” Which, again, was literally just thinking about doing something, and even before you realized that it would be bad (not that that makes a difference, because thoughts aren’t bad 🔫). This is kinda similar to what happens when you let the mouse go, but that one is unique in that you: 1.) stay still. You don’t deliver yourself to your death like you do in the fish-transformation ending. 2) don’t say anything about regretting being unable to give the cat its fill. Probably because, well. You probably are able to.
And then of course, The ending. This is, most definitely, the least subtle thing ever. Even if I hadn’t happened to exit the game partway through (and then actually read the CWs upon reentering), this likely would’ve let me figure out pretty fuckin quick what was goin on.
I’m gonna split this into three parts: the beginning of the end, the end, and the post-end.
To begin my discussion of the former, I need to mention that the end is you not letting the cat (who, in case this wasn’t obvious by now, is your abuser) back into your home. This is a HUGE step for abuse victims. It’s, hard. Like, in this case it may have been due to magic, but the cat was literally rewriting your brain. Also, you’re lonely, and the cat provided at least some comfort. A helluva lotta pain, sure, but they gave you more comfort than you were receiving anywhere else. Not every situation is the same, but there’s almost always some big hurdle keeping you with the abuser. In this case, the game lets you climb that hurdle through the help of previous victims. This is good, because it avoids the pitfall of ‘to escape abuse you just need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.’ And, ‘the pain they inflict on you will be enough motivation.’ Like no! This wasn’t something you could do on your own!
Then for the second part, I’m first gonna talk about the lead up to the end: the chase scene, as you’re trying to get home. In that, the cat begs you to stay, saying they’ll die without you, that they’re nothing without you.
And here’s where I make the disclaimer that I’ve never been abused, nor have I ever abused. Furthermore, while I have read many accounts from people who have been abused, I have read very little from the perspective of the abuser (at least, ones that were from people who had recognized and accepted that they were abusive).
However, with this dialogue, it seemed like the cat really believed what it was saying. And from what I can tell, it seems like (SOME) irl abusers actually feel the same? They punish you because they worry that if you enjoy the world outside of them, then you’ll love it so much more and leave—and what would they do without you? And I say this, because then the ending of the game is teaching the lesson that: THAT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
You staying with them did not help them get better. They had every chance, every single second you were together they could have chosen to change, and instead they chose to continue hurting you. Going back will not prove to them that they need to change or they will lose you: it will only tell them that they need to take away even more of your power so you CAN’T leave. Splitting up is not only the best thing that you can do for yourself, but it is the best thing you can do for them: even if they don’t seem like it.
Which is a great segue into the post-end. Because it really proves the point! You may have been lonely, but your abuser wasn’t your only option. You did find someone, and this one won’t kill you! :D I do have mixed feelings on the new cat being a black cat with their right eye gone though. One the one hand, it could potentially be interpreted as you letting your abuser, reformed(?), into your house. On the other, sndndinwjd. (<- that was initially a placeholder but you know what? I’m leaving it.)
For example, if you view its coat as a symbolism for a trait like gender, then choosing another black cat could be like dating another woman after your last abuser was a woman. The traits don’t make the abuser, yada yada. Very good! But since we’re dealing with cats, the creator would’ve had to deal with the issue that cats (especially in a simpler art style) Can Kinda Look Similar. And I know that if I, personally, had seen that image and the cat had both eyes, I would’ve immediately been like ‘oh sHIT THE ABUSER’S BACK—’ and had a mini heart attack. /j So. They were probably trying to find a way to make it obvious that THIS cat was not the abusive one.
But not only did you find someone better to replace the abuser with, you are just overall happier without them in your life, and the game did an excellent job of portraying this: by making you go through all the locations you already did. It was such a good parallel. Visiting any location while you were under your the cat’s paw you marred by anxiety and death. But visiting those same places on your own, after ditching it? You have fun times at every one! You even meet new people—and I really love the way the game handled that, because it could have suddenly made us outgoing and extroverted. But nope! We were an introvert walking in, and we’re an introvert walking out. That’s not a bad thing.
One final note that I realized while writing this, is that the game does a VERY good job of giving you a reason for sticking with the cat. See, I can’t think of any specific examples, but I feel like when most people see their main character in an abusive relationship they get frustrated by why they won’t leave. They, the player, can see what’s happening and see the means to escape. The character themself likely has a reason for staying, but the player doesn’t feel whatever emotions are behind that, so it’s pretty easy for them to either view the reason as ‘stupid,’ or to discount the reason altogether. To properly tell an abuse story, I think a really important aspect is being able to see why they wouldn’t leave. To feel, even a little bit, of what the victim is feeling. This game does that in two very simple, yet effective, ways. First, by making the abuser Cute and Smoll. There’s no har~m giving them a chance~! It’s an adorable kitty cat~ (And even when it does do bad things, it’s like “dohhh~ you didn’t know what you were doing~, did u my wittle cutie patootie~”) By virtue of it being adorable, many people immediately have a baseline bond with the cat, which is later made deeper by all the cute scenes, and the moments of backwards kindness in which the cat directly or indirectly helps you out in some way. The second, juxtaposing the first, is done by making the cat incomprehensibly powerful. You see for yourself the power it can, and is willing to, wield against you. Sure, most (and, hopefully, all) abusers don’t have this kind of eldritch power, but to many abuse victims, it sure may seem like it. Maybe it’s financial, or social, or maybe they’re just scarily good with guns: regardless, it tends to be a hurdle that feels impossible to overcome, though it may seem different to an outsider looking in. By making the abuser literally impossible to defeat until you’re given help by outside means (aka, the game, via the former victims), it places you right into the eyes of a victim gazing upon their abuser. This incomprehensible power pairs really well with the cuteness factor, by making the cat seem almost innocent in everything they do. Sure, they ripped me to shreds when my laser pointer was reflected to the back of my head; but they’re just a wittle kitty, how can I blame them for following their instincts~. Not every abuser has this veneer of innocence, but when it’s there it can make recognizing (as was my experience here lol) and reporting abuse to be extra difficult.
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bananasfosterparent · 4 months ago
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An anti-AA account posted a comment akin to "I'm tired of the fandom being taken over by sex pests who are obsessed with abusive relationships" in response to the AA kisses being optimized for evil route roleplayers. They were implying that we "bullied" Larian into "changing the narrative they created". (which is a whole other rant post on its own lol). And some others agreed.
Is... is this really how they see us? lmao
I am just baffled because so many loud Anti-AA people are:
constantly going on and on about how it's supposed to be an abusive relationship
constantly reminding AA fans of all the abuse AA supposedly does
writing fanfiction and drawing comics showcasing AA as an abusive partner to Tav/Durge
making absolute statements that AA is locked out of healing and only able to treat Tav abusively
making absolute statements that everything good AA says is narcissistic lovebombing and only everything bad he says (after Tav insults him) is to be taken as truth
only ascending him to get AA romance scene screenshots (with an "I hate AA but..." disclaimer usually attached).
thirsting after AA's romance scenes in general while condemning actually playing/enjoying the ending as a whole because... *drum roll* abuse.
brigading Larian on their Discord with messages to "protect their narrative" to drown out AA fans just asking for rp-friendly animations.
AND YET....AA fans--who actively avoid and reject the abuse narrative headcanon and enjoy AA as a whole and not just for the sexiness--are apparently the sex pests, obsessed with abusive relationships. Out of all the AA stories, comics, and things I've consumed from AA fans, none of it ever seems to include the abuse narrative or glorifing him solely for sexual reasons.
Huh...
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thetwistedbeauty · 1 year ago
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“Morally Grey” Characters
Morally grey characters are a staple of literature and storytelling, and they can be some of the most compelling and thought-provoking figures in a narrative. These characters often blur the lines between good and evil, making readers question their motivations and actions. However, the acceptance of morally grey characters hinges on how their complexity is presented within the story. While morally grey characters can be intriguing and even empathetic, it becomes problematic when their moral ambiguity is used to excuse or downplay abusive or harmful behavior.
Complexity vs. Excuse: Morally grey characters should be portrayed with depth and nuance. Their actions and motivations should be explored in a way that allows readers to understand the complexity of their choices. However, this complexity should not serve as an excuse for abusive or harmful behavior.
Accountability: It's essential that morally grey characters are held accountable for their actions. Their choices, even if morally ambiguous, should have consequences within the story. This accountability demonstrates that the narrative acknowledges the impact of their behavior on others.
Character Development: Morally grey characters should ideally experience growth and change over the course of the story. They may grapple with their actions and seek redemption or self-improvement. This development adds depth to their character arcs and provides a path for reconciliation with the audience.
Exploring the Grey Area: Morally grey characters can serve as a vehicle for exploring ethical dilemmas and the grey areas of human nature. However, this exploration should be done with sensitivity and an awareness of the potential real-world implications.
Avoiding Glamorization: It's crucial to avoid glamorizing abusive or harmful behavior, even within the context of morally grey characters. Romanticizing or justifying such behavior can send harmful messages to readers.
Balanced Perspective: Authors should strive to present a balanced perspective on morally grey characters. This means acknowledging both their strengths and flaws, their virtues and vices. Readers should be encouraged to form their own opinions rather than having a character's behavior imposed as unquestionably acceptable.
In literature, morally grey characters can be some of the most captivating and thought-provoking figures, challenging readers to question their own moral compass. However, their complexity should never be used as a means to justify or romanticize abusive or harmful actions.
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billpottsismygf · 7 months ago
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Episode 4 of Dead Boy Detectives (Lighthouse Leapers) doesn't quite reach the heights of last episode, but it was still good. I really appreciate the way this show is able to blend comedy and darkness. I love its oddball sense of humour and I often catch myself laughing out loud, particularly at Niko, and it never clashes with the dark storylines running alongside it, which takes a lot of skill.
I would be surprised if that's the last we see of the Night Nurse. Although Charles' defeat of her was brutal, or 'extreme' to quote Edwin, it was satisfying to see him get to fight back against someone hurting him, especially after seeing his father's abuse and his death at the hands of his "friends". I also want to know more about him stopping his friends from beating someone up.
This thought is slightly out of left field, but I find it interesting that seeing a male hero hitting a female character, even a villainous one, might have been impossible to include a while ago. It is a very unusual sight and people have pointed out before that usually, when a woman needs to be physically fought in an action scene, she is often only allowed to be hit by a female hero. While obviously I don't mean that it's actually fine to hit women, I do like that maybe we're moving beyond this reductive 'don't hit girls' narrative (combined with the 'it's fine and dandy for a woman to slap a man for comedy' one). Sometimes a woman is in a position of violent authority and is using that power to hurt a man (or boy, technically, in this case) and it's cathartic to see him get to retaliate.
Again, there's a rift forming between Edwin and Charles as they struggle to be honest with one another. Interestingly, they both seem able to talk to one of the others. Charles opens up to Crystal about his father and feeling angry, while Edwin (although still not saying much) seems able to be honest with Niko in a way he can't be with anyone else. Niko is perhaps becoming my second favourite character, and something about her brand of upfront quirkiness (read: autism) breaks through a lot of Edwin's defences. Their talk on the sea shore was my favourite part of the episode, with them watching scooby doo together at the end maybe a close second.
There have been hints since the beginning of Edwin maybe having feelings for Charles, and this is dealt with somewhat directly for the first time with the Cat King shapeshifting into him, and then that little lingering shot later that Edwin has to shake himself out of. I don't have much to say about it other than that I love that Edwin, who has even admitted now that he doesn't know whether he wants to kiss Monty, has enough love interests - none of whom are ideal in one way or another - to make his sexuality journey, much like this sentence, as confusing and complicated as possible.
Small things:
The washer woman is a cool concept well-executed.
I want to know more about Asha.
I love the Walrus man and am glad he seems to have his own running subplot.
Jenny's "love letters" are giving me huge creepy vibes, but I'm also intrigued.
I missed Esther this episode. Even when she only appears for 30 seconds, it really brightens the whole thing.
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strangedarkage · 17 days ago
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I truly, madly, deeply think that people who actually view Midsommar as a purely "good for her" movie do not understand it (and especially it's ending) at all.
Just because the ending of the film is cathartic- especially for people who have gone through significant trauma and find healing and liberation through this film's narrative- does not mean that it has a happy ending. I really do think that a lot of people thin that just because something is cathartic automatically makes it good. Most things that have produced these sorts of feelings in me have been really dark and fucked up. It hits a nerve that's a little raw, it fulfills some kind of dark fantasy. In this case, allowing your emotionally immature, borderline emotionally abusive, definitely toxic boyfriend to be selected as a human sacrifice and being burned alive inside the pelt of a bear. I remember rewatching this film for the second time with my mom, who was seeing it for the first time. And she was like... shaking and crying by the end of this movie.
She had just recently left my dad after being married for twenty years because of the horrific abuse that she had suffered, among many other things. She had called me many times that previous year, telling me how scared she was that he was going to do something to hurt her, more likely than not, that he was going to kill her. And she had been able to safely leave him, to move into her own place with my sisters and file for divorce when she felt safe enough to do so. I think that she found Dani's agency (which ironically in reality, is just the illusion of agency, because the whole situation was highly controlled by the cult as she was specifically chosen) in that final moment to be inspiring, a reflection of what she had been forced to live through and survived. It was horrible and she was forever changed (in most ways for the worse obviously) but she was alive. And I think that's a really beautiful thing, honestly. It allowed her the opportunity to really start processing these feelings, something she hadn't really been able to do successfully quite yet. This is one of the things that I love most about horror, that it provides a constructive, creative outlet for difficult, uncomfortable, and often horrifying situations and feelings. At it's core, Midsommar is a story about trauma and how it can be exploited to make anyone vulnerable to abusive, predatory people (and in this case, an entire community of people).
I also do want to acknowledge right now that a lot of people who really relate to this film are those who interpret Dani and Christian's relationshp as abusive, me being one of them. I really understand the "good for you" interpretation because that was also my first interpretation of this film when I saw it for the first tine. But then two seconds later I realized that it's a lot more nuanced than that.
Once you burst your own bubble, once you realize how fucked up your own fantasies could really be, you realize that Christian did not actually deserve any of that. He was drugged, sexually assaulted, and BURNED ALIVE. The punishment does not fit the crime. And that while basically everyone was making really bad choices and therefore also easier to puppet around and influence for most of the film, THEY WERE ALSO TRIPPING BALLS. Drugs, particularly hallucinogenic drugs, are a well documented tool for cults. Because drugs keep people close to you as their supplier, and it also makes them significantly easier to manipulate and control. What I think is so perfect about the ending is that it puts us in Dani's mindset- it's cathartic, it's vengeance for what she thinks Christian did. She feels as if she had a choice and in a small way she does at the end, but again not really. Because everything has been orchestrated to lead up to this moment. It's the illusion of choice being roesented to her over and over and over again.
Basically the entirety fo Midsommar is Dani getting slowly indoctrinated into the cult.
Dani has really lost everything. Her last connection to everyone and everything that she loves. She has successfully been indoctrinated into a white supremacist cult who have assisted her in severing her last ties to the outside world through Christian, and by extension, his friends as well. She is technically a missing person now, even though there's no one left to really miss her. The wording in the screenplay is very explicit in the direction of this last scene. Dani has lost her mind because of everything that she has been through, she is not happy. She is absolutely dead inside. And this cycle is going to continue to be repeated in different ways to keep bringing more people in the community (and also different DNA to keep the gene pool diverse, as inbreeding is something that is just kind of an accepted practice in the cult, but has to be avoided in order to keep producing more new, healthy cult members). She is basically going to be used to produce more "perfect", blonde haired, blue eyed offspring. We know what her future is going to be and it is bleak. Sure, she gets a kind of "family" out of it, but at the cost of everything, including her sanity. None of this is good!!! And it wasn't supposed to be! The most horrifying thing about the ending is that it leaves so much room for very grim headcanons about Dani's fate. The real horror of this film isn't solely found in the gore or body horror, it's Dani's complete loss of agency disguised as something that is good and liberating.
I think the intended (and correct) takeaway of the ending is that a *kind* of catharsis has been reached but it is not the good kind. That you can think "good for her" because she does get her own kind of fucked up revenge on her milk toast boyfriend who did not respect or understand her at all. But also acknowledge that Christian did not deserve to be killed for being a shitty boyfriend. Dani is not really capable of making any good choices at this point because she is exhausted, grieving, and on so many different drugs. She doesn't understand the full scope of what is going on because she can't. And that is by design.
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whatever-you-can-give-me · 1 year ago
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maybe i'm just biased because of my specific analytical read, but every time i hear something to the tune of "xyz thing knives did to vash wasn't actually quite as bad as you think it is" my hackles go up. Maybe I'm Just Biased. but i think if you cannot emotionally confront the way that knives' entire character is based around ignoring the consent or wishes of. everyone, but especially his siblings, in a myriad of extremely loaded ways, you should probably have a think about how your knives apologism starts to sound.
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jewishbarbies · 1 year ago
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I knew I didn't like TS/Swifites when last year, they were trying to say one of her songs was about Zac Efron and harassing him ya know, after he came out about his anxiety and addiction issues. It's why I could never get behind that Jake hate train since the worst thing he did was break up with her. If people want to harp on age gap, then ask Taylor why she dated minors when she was 21/22
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naivety · 5 months ago
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like i don't think it's a stretch to say they made that narrative twist and then ended on a tearful kiss and embrace between lestat and louis very much assuming the audience wouldn't be swallowing it with the same taste in their mouth as they would have Before that reveal
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infizero · 7 months ago
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blah blah blah YES norman was going to allow ruby to partake in contests. doesnt change the fact he beat him up lol!
#i think that rlly does show his character more than anything. like his reasoning for finally allowing him to do it is literally#''i still dont approve and still want him to pursue battling but hes turning 11 so he can make his own decisions in life. i didnt#like him doing it before because he was a child'' <- norman very much has the ''children must do exactly as their parents say'' mentality#which is not rlly great. esp since it is implied that he became abusive when ruby would NOT do as he said#and even besides that. the fact that once ruby runs away norman becomes so unbelievably violent with him is literally all that matters#in a discussion of whether norman is a good dad or not. it literally does not matter that he changed his mind and was going#to allow ruby to do contests WHEN HE STILL BEAT HIM UP FOR RUNNING AWAY!!!!!!!! NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!#he physically abused ruby in a very violent manner (and again its implied this isnt new behavior for him. norman is also just shown#to be a very violent person in general. destroying things when hes angry shoving random people etc etc)#he couldve fucking cured cancer he couldve wholeheartedly supported ruby's contest career for all i care#anything good he does is overshadowed by his abuse of ruby. i dont think norman is an entirely 100% EVIL person#i dont even think that he doesnt care about ruby. but he is a terrible abusive father regardless and nothing can change that#norman does have nuances. and he is still terrible and in my eyes irredeemable. those things can coexist#(i cant remember exactly where things end up esp once he dies. so i'll reserve any comments about how the NARRATIVE views#norman until after ive finished R&S in its entirety)#but yeah. him planning on giving ruby permission to do contests literallyyyyy does not change anything#serena.txt#pksp reread#ruby & sapphire reread
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luneyverse · 8 months ago
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the death of art the death of education the death of childhood the death of narrative the birth of christ as we believed he was a zombie and our father
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theygender · 2 years ago
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Yeah sure growing up abused may have left me with permanent scars on my psychological state that I'm still working to unpack, but on the bright side it gave me the ability to give a thoughtful in depth analysis of Roald Dahl's Matilda and all of its adaptations
#rambling#i love matilda so much. its such an important story to me. its literally just an abused childs power fantasy#where she gets to get back at the people who hurt her and protect other kids and then get a new loving family and everything is alright#my gf and i just watched the movie adaptation of the musical and we have Opinions on it. some good and some bad#so weve been discussing it and analyzing different parts of it#and its kinda nice to get to use my history for something good#to be able to give thoughtful analysis on how the changes they made in this adaptation have changed the allegory for abuse in the story#from the perspective of someone who grew up with that#and to just. have that be normal. my gf knows my history and its not gonna stop the conversation if i say#'this change works well for trunchbull's character bc it makes her seem more like a real life abuser'#'this detail is very subtle but it really captures some tiny part of the experience of growing up with an abuser'#'i dont like this bc it detracts from the narrative of the main character feeling alone and makes it less relatable to abused kids'#'i dont like this because while it IS something that happens under abuse it detracts from the fantasy where the kids all win together'#idk. of course everything that happened to me as a kid was awful and should not have happened but like#for a long time i had this problem where i didnt know how i was ever supposed to be okay about that#like no matter how much therapy i go through it will never UN-happen. it will always still have happened and it will always have been awful#and i couldnt figure out how i was supposed to recover from that besides 'bury it and try your hardest to never ever think about it'#and. i think maybe this is it. yes the abuse i went through was awful. thats kind of the whole thing about abuse#but. its also just a fact of my life. im better NOW. but that will not change what happened then#the abuse was awful. but the fact that i am an abuse survivor is a neutral fact. the same as any other fact from my childhood#its just a fact. a part of my past. and maybe being able to talk about it that way is... good for me#i dont have to break down when i think about it bc im okay now. my partner doesnt need to stop me and express sorrow for me bc im okay now#i can talk about my past in a neutral way and use my life experience to analyze movies#the same way that i used my experience of growing up in arkansas to analyze hollywood hillbillies when we watched it together#theyre both just two facts of my life. and analyzing movies is fun#that woman has no power over me anymore and hasnt for many many years. im okay now#abuse mention#child abuse mention#request to tag
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datastate · 1 year ago
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still so frustrated that it's because it took so long doing the video production part of my kai analysis that a lot of my revelations were rendered redundant but it's fine. it's okay. i was right. it's just that now everyone else has had it handed to them on a silver platter instead of reading between the lines like i did incessantly for the months before the miniepisode.
#it's killed a lot of my motivation to make such videos. i must admit.#jestersvaguely#i could still try to make it but augh. it's like nankidai didn't even put kai in the limelight he put him under a stadium light#too much. too much! where's the subtlety where's the tact. i loved it so much more before it was just explicitly written. sorry.#what else are people meant to dig into or engage with characters with if you're just completely clearing ANY curiosity#i don't know. i should still make it. it'd require so much rewriting though because i was specifically drawing from ranger's existence#and now there's a whole miniepisode detailing the complications of the satous dynamic and it's like well now i have to analyze that#but it doesn't even add much more than what was already implied & extrapolated from.#which i already had. i already had all of this speculation written down and dug into and now i have to rid the entire section of speculatio#it's so much less. impressive i guess. it just feels so plain and basic and it's like 'well yes we all saw that play out in the miniepisode#and it's like NO IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE MINIEPISODE HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD'VE JUST REDUCED HIM TO ABUSIVE OLD MAN#AND COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN THE FACT HE LOVED RANGER. RANGER - INCAPABLE OF AFFECTION - SAID GASHU 'S AFFECTIONS WERE HIS#AND FROM RANGER. COMPARABLE TO A SON. KAI'S EXISTENCE & GASHU'S REACTION THEREAFTER ... AHHHHHHH#i don't know. more than anything i'm just upset at my own inaction because now it's like. this is the one thing that we didn't need to wait#on for analysis. now i need to wait for asunaro to be explained before i can do proper kai analysis and it's so frustrating and saddening#i don't know. i just hate that i can't do any actual kai analysis now because he's my favorite#there's the whole 'what do the satous mean for sara & the narrative' but that was meant to be part of the larger thing#not the focus of the video. the focus of the video was discussing everything with kai#and now it's like. well the entire cover's been blown off unceremoniously and it's#ah. it's frustrating. it's so frustrating. nankidai's storytelling is so sloppy i really don't know what draws me to it at all
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perenlop · 2 years ago
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i really dont know what to expect from magolor epilogue and im honestly not expecting a ton of story (lore stuff, absolutely bc magolor is kinda stuffed w lore as a character already) but ngl i do sorta hope theres at least a little bit of a hint of him improving or feeling bad or redemption so that people stop saying that he exists to be abuse apologia bc “he never got a real redemption arc”
#yknow ignoring that kirby as a series doesnt quite has a steady narrative#by this logic dedede being good now is abuse apologism bc he was a villain once and hes not allowed to improve and his arc was offscreen#and hes had a few villainous moments so obviously hes a poorly written character who ur suspicious for liking bc it means ur manipulative#u may think im exaggerating but fans back in the day were literally comparing him to abusers like. no?#tbf i mostly saw this during the point when this website was like ‘’redemption arcs are bad writing inherently’’ w no nuance#and trying to apply what went wrong with su to every property ever whether it fit or not#magolor is a fuckhead. yeah hes a dick. u dont have to like him but its so wild how ppl will act abt him#and its not even comparable to msot examples ppl compare him to like lusamine#w lusamine the argument was ‘’oh shes sad and she was a good mom once so she was never REALLY evil. ignore her verbally abuse lillie pls’’#magolor’s actions were never painted as something he couldnt control or that were misunderstood and well intentioned#hes a villain and the game is aware of that and thats why yknow. he literally got vaporized in the original#the ‘’oh he was only being possessed and controlled’’ thing was a misconception on fanons part. before rhe soul fight anyways#the reason he keeps coming back is bc hes a popular character that people like and wanted to see more of#and the reason his actions are brushed under the rug is not bc of a manifesto of why abuse is ok#its bc the devs were like ‘’wow itd be cool if u could race magolor in this game’’ and its not insensitive bc magolors plan was not based#in reality. idk this discussion annoys me lol#its fun to rag on him and bully him but trying to go ‘’if u like him that’s suspicious bc u like an abuser’’ is ridiculous#echoed voice
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theriverdalereviewer · 2 years ago
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surely one of you has read nineteen minutes by jodi picoult... as usual I have THOUGHTS
#the lesson of this book has not aged well#now let me break it down quickly#but major tw if you ever consider reading nineteen minutes its a book with two teenage protagonists but it was written for a mature audience#the book deals with bullying gun violence and abuse and it does depict them quite graphically#so yeah I absolutely would not pick up this book if youre sensitive to that#but anyways the story is about a shooting that happens at a high school and then takes you back to the events that led up to it#as well as the aftermath#and I feel like the idea of Peter's has aged quite poorly#like the book was written in 2007 so the narrative that shooters are the bullied lonely kids who are getting revenge#was very popular in our society but in the year 2023 I think we are (very) slowly realizing that these kids weren’t unpopular nerds#majority of them are incels living in a country that makes it very easy for them to kill people with guns#and the book reallyyyyy misses this mark#like they portray Peter as this kid that was bullied for being sensitive and not a masculine tough guy like the rest of the boys#and its true boys who get bullied generally are bullied for not conforming to masculinity#BUTTT these boys aren’t the ones who go and kill people#its the ones who have deeply entrenched hatred for women and minorities and also happen to be able to use weapons#so yeah if the text was just about a kid who was being bullied and how traumatizing that is then yeah I think it would’ve nailed it#butttt when you try to convince us that this is the profile of a shooter you start to lose#also not nearly enough about gun control was discussed#like the book sends the message that if we’re all nice to each other bad things won’t happen ummmm yeah#but also even if we were all mean to each other we could minimize the amount of casualties by have stricter access to guns#like what people in other countries don’t have mean kids this is a uniquely american problem#anyways these are my grievances
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morimyth · 2 years ago
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Hi yes, performative separation of physically and mentally ill and disabled folks' spaces is actually really divisive? And makes it harder to make movements as a society to further any disabled rights at all? I'm only a US citizen so I can only speak from experience but I have both physical and mental illnesses that make me disabled, and they are all invisible, so when someone from the physical disability section advocating for more awareness of your body and not pushing yourself, and the mentally ill section says kindly and politely in response "hey some of our systemic oppressions overlap, let's find some more common ground" and your answer is "your entitlement entitles you to death" and you go on a whole Deathnote-esque tirade of posts in response to something as scary as inclusivity, you're literally spouting eugenic rhetoric, so like stfu and be kind maybe, yours is not the only struggle that's real.
Also icymi, the point of Deathnote is that it's immoral to try and play god. You can't go off and decide who lives and who dies on a whim, and still come out the other side a good person who values human life. That's literally the moral of the story diflsfkskxksk
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trans-leek-cookie · 4 months ago
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I just saw your tags on the unreliable narrator post and I really want to know what character you’re talking about now
Geto Suguru from JJK. I came for the hot Asian guy with long hair and a cool outfit stayed bc I'm interested in how cults and eugenics hurt ppl irl and also how they're explored in fiction. But between heaven and earth I alone am trying to find a fic that actually treats him being a cult leader as the problem it is and also gets fucking Nanako and Mimiko out of their. Uhhh fuck idk if u know JJK so spoilery ranting under the read more that assumes familiarity (so not like. Explaining specific plot shit bc my brain will explode)
so basically ppl have called out the eugenics shit with like "kill everyone who isn't a sorcerer" and generally they're like yeah that sucks but whatever not important lol. And I've seen like 0 shit actually about how he's a cult leader + how cults are Abusive. And some ppl are like "actually he has a point bc blah blah blah" like okay. If sorcerers were a stand in/comparable to real life marginalized groups. WE DONT NEED MORE "MARGINALIZED EUGENICIST" PLOTS. But even within the story they don't seem marginalized? Like, there are Marginalized Sorcerers, but being a Sorcerer isn't something that's consistently oppressed? The closest thing is either misdirected ableism/sanism ("they see things that aren't there and are assumed to be psychotic" which is its own can of worms) or like accusations of witchcraft which... I guess that's sorcerery based on this universe but irl those were usually used either along with or as cover for other shit (racism, misogyny, land grabs, etc). So hes not necessarily marginalized on that level- tho growing up in a family without other sorcerers mightve caused problems for him that's a LOT different from systemic oppression. And, also? In a lot of cases it seems like sorcerers are relatively privileged with a lot of economic, social and maybe political power? Like the big three families are obv examples bc they're fucking Rich and control the sorcery world so. Y'know. Also it's stated at one point sorcerers receive some like exceptions to the law but aren't allowed to hurt ppl who aren't sorcerers so. Yeag
anyways going more in depth on eugenics- okay real quick terms: negative and positive eugenics. That's not in reference to the quality, "positive" doesn't mean "good" But Rather in reference to wether the action is meant to Reduce "bad genes" or Increase "good genes". And obv negative eugenics includes shit like forced sterilization and murder which I don't want to downplay, but positive eugenics is also coercive and fucked up. For example, forcing ppl to have children they don't want. Which isn't Discussed in the series, but the fact is sorcerers a SMALL minority of the population, and they're already having trouble with curses, so. Theoretically sorcerers would be coerced to have more children to bring the population numbers up. Personally I think that's Not Something Suguru Believes In (I'll get into that but main thing is his eugenics isn't an actual strategy but rather lashing out and ego) but like. There's abuse on both sides of the equation no matter what. Eugenics isn't fucking redeemable.
Now onto the cult shit. It's not super expanded on besides needing money and curses to like. Kill ppl or whatever. But my interpretation of Suguru is that he started a cult, and believes in eugenics, because his ego was damaged. Like the trauma impacted him and influenced his actions ofc bc trauma Does That but also I straight up think his ego was bruised and he wants revenge.
Like first of all, the wider context- he's a kid who is alienated from his parents and probably most of the ppl he interacted with due to his abilities, which is understandably damaging esp at a young age.
He is then scouted and labeled as a special grade- he is one of three in Japan and I believe the world, if I'm not misremembering. He is on par with Gojo Satoru (category wise) who. Literally "Gojo Satoru's birth changed the world" like that's a NUTS ego boost to get
Anyway Gojo called the two of them "the strongest" literally pairing them up and positioning them as equals so like. Whoo boy. Also special grade sorcerer is defined as "a sorcerer who could single-handedly take down a nation" which okay! Labeling children as essentially weapons of mass destruction. Normal behavior
Then Toji happens and this random fucking guy beats you up. He kills your best friend and the girl you were escorting. But he doesn't kill you- because of your cursed technique being risky to deal with, but also. Obvious subtext of "you aren't important enough to kill"
Then your friend comes back from the fucking dead. Kills the man who tried to kill him. Discovers entirely me abilities and becomes even more powerful. And you are stagnating, with a technique you fucking hate. Your entire power is the power of Other Things.
So like. Understandly, thought maybe not justifiably, your ego is fucked.
So you start creating a new dichotomy: sorcerers and everyone else. If everyone else is lesser, you still have worth because you're Better than them by virtue of existing.
And then you discover 2 children being abused for the thing you have a victim complex over (<- this is also it's own thing I'll talk about) and you murder a bunch of ppl about it (okay this is a little questionable of My Opinions maybe but I could. Not forgive but understand the mass murder bc there's a lot of shit building up and clearly if 2 young girls being badly abused in a small village that implies the majority of people were either okay with it or unwilling to try and help at all. Anyway it's still Bad but like. Understandble mental breakdown trauma kinda bad for me? Also bc most ppl irl recognize murder as being Bad but are Weirdly Forgiving of bigotry yknow)
Anyway you take over the cult that was doing some other shit and my personal interpretation of this is also an ego thing. Bc lots of cult leaders do it for the money, but a lot of them also do it bc they like the feeling of controlling ppl. And there's essentially 2 levels of the cult- everyday people and the people he considers Family (which includes Mimiko and Nanako, the 2 children from the paragraph above).
On the "everyday people" level, there's a feeling of being a revered religious leader, knowing something they don't (curses exist), and the satisfaction of taking advantage of the people you don't like.
On the Family level, you position yourself as a savior and as The Only One Brave Enough To Do What Must Be Done (eugenics genocide) so even if you aren't the strongest you're still Special.
So that's my main analysis of why he became a cult leader, and now I'm gonna make more comments about why I think his shit is "Ego" rather than a (fucked up) desire to actually help ppl
If you wanted to help sorcerers survive: THE CLANS ARE A MASSIVE FUCKING PROBLEM. They hoard techniques tools and knowledge and the Zen'in clan literally cast out Toji who could've been a fuckin BEAST at dealing with curses. The clans reliance of tradition also generally hinders sorcerers ability to grow and improve in ways that aren't Traditional
When he dies the cult falls apart (which: good) but also the members have different ideals like some of them wanna keep doing eugenics, some of them just wanted Suguru to be powerful, and two of them were basically his adopted kids. If you actually had good intentions: CREATE A PLAN FOR WHEN YOU DIE SO YOUR FOLLOWERS CAN ACTUALLY CARRY OUT YOUR WILL AND HELP PEOPLE INSTEAD OF LETTING THEM INFIGHT
And idk if this is totally Ego or starting to move into a separate thing so I just decided to split it up: even when he was "righteous" his beliefs kinda Sucked
Like "the strong must protect the weak". There are inherent sort of... values being placed there, because weak is negative, not neutral. It's relatively minor, but I think it's important to note with how his beliefs evolve.
It's not like "we need to protect the people who can't protect themselves" it's really reductive. There's weak people and strong people and basically Noblisse Oblige but for strength or whatever which isn't really actual kindness or equality but rather pretty much. Pity.
Also he sorts jujutsu sorcerers into "strong" and everyone else into "weak" for the most part so that's... great worldview my guy. Definitely not going to just worsen your alienation from other ppl
so when he goes to "why should the strong protect the weak?" He jumps to "the strong don't owe anything to the weak, and actually the weak should be Punished For Being Weak" instead of. Just doing something else. Just get a fucking job, my guy
Anyway his plan is just garbage top to bottom total mess morally and logistically and he's a traumatized teen who grew into an abuser and like. The trauma influenced that but there were always fucking problems so it isn't "oh he got hurt and is evil :(" it's "he has some worrying beliefs and his trauma is likely making his emotions and ability to reason unstable, and then he finds an excuse to turn that instability into Violence" like. He's not necessarily abusive bc he's mentally ill or traumatized marginalized he's abusive bc he got to a point in his life where he could justify it to himself and it felt Good
And I just remembered this part: for the characters who interact with him I do enjoy that they still like and love him, even though he fucking sucks, because that's very human. You'll love imperfect people, you'll love horrible ppl who hurt you and/or others, and that isn't irredeemable it's just Human because being a Human and Connecting With Humans is complicated like that
I even like it when they excuse his bad behavior! Bc that's a realistic character flaw, to value the person u consider your friend over the people they hurt! It's not ethical, but it's natural and interesting to explore in fiction.
THE PROBLEM. IS WHEN THE AUTHORS DO NOT TREAT OR ACKNOWLEDGE IT AS A PROBLEM.
Like... listen. Love a relationship where one character sucks and the other character forgives them for the ppl they hurt and just wants their loved one back. The problem is when the writers are like "aww this is so sweet/romantic/beautiful" WHATEVER. Because it's not??
Someone defending their fucking abusive partner/friend/family member, especially when they aren't victims themselves, isn't fucking sweet it's scary, either for them or others!!!! And I want either to see the characters grapple with the way they excuse their loved ones' abuses and how that reflects on them and their morals, or, if the characters don't do that, for the author to acknowledge it as A Flaw!!!! I'd that too much to fucking ask
Especially with cult abuse, I don't want to say it's necessarily treated worse than any other type of abuse, but it feels really hard to find things related to fictional cults that actually acknowledge the Real Life Damage and Abuse cults do instead of having the cult be 1. Faceless evil 2. A joke 3. Fetishized/romanticized. And like all forms of abuse are similarly distorted in media + fiction, but I feel like ive almost never seen cult abuse portrayed respectfully/accurately, especially in fan works
Anyways for the wild TL;DR I think Geto Suguru's personality is comparable to an anti-sjw trans guy who is getting scarily close to Actual Fascist beliefs and is hurting all the people around him and his ex mutuals are like "he's not that bad" when he is That Bad and I'm so fucking mad about what happened to Nanako and Mimiko. If I think about their canon treatment I get so upset I start to have a headache
#Ask to tag#JJK#Cult mention#Abuse mention#Eugenics mention#I wrote mention bc I feel like it's more accurate to a discussion of fictional depictions? I can change that if necessary#Sorry if you don't know about JJK anon I'm fucking obsessed w this guy. I was like ''i want to see his pussy'' and now I'm relistening to a#Podcast discussing cults bc he reignited my dormant special interest. I'm in hell#When (one of) ur favorite character(s) is an objectively awful person in ways that are genuinely fascinating to explore but#The only time they are treated as an Awful Person in fanfic is fucking abuse fetishism. I'm going to start killing the hostages#Anyways I think it's fun to interpret him as a trans man not as like ''haha I support trans wrongs!'' but rather#''theres some interesting narrative + character ideas if u consider this character being gendered femininely but rejecting that#And also it's a good reminder than trans men + ppl assigned female at birth in general can be as toxic dangerous and abusive as#People who were assigned male at birth esp bc they're rarely acknowledged as being capable of the same violence#(which essentially is largely a mixture of bioessentialism and often transmisogyny since trans women r over represented as dangerous)''#And I just. Sometimes you gotta remind ppl that just bc someone was assigned female at birth that doesn't mean they're always going to be a#Victim and never an abuser y'know? Because fanfic writers sure seem to have trouble internalizing that!!!!#And also Togata from fire punch ignited a deep need for trans men who just fucking suck. I need them for my health. I also need to attack#Said trans men for my mental health.#Anyway sorry about the probably disorganized rant I have memory issues. ❤️ I love Suguru and also he should be dug up and shot bc I hate hi
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