#*gets hit with final fifteen flashbacks*

[beebopboom]

anyone? ….yall seein this too right?

brb gonna go cry now.

[coolprettyleo]

begin again au ☆ - Frankies Lore!

wc: 1.8k

tw: drinking, mean coach, quitting, embarrassing? fluff bit of angst?

ryan leonard x hughes sister au!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

frankie couldn't believe what she had just done. something that had been a long time coming finally crashed down and for the first time in her life frankie felt bittersweet.

her whole life has revolved around the sport of hockey; having three brothers playing in the NHL and a mother and father who both played collegiete and now coach is a nightmare in disguise; for someone who is so tired of trying.

dont get her wrong she loved the sport. growing up, she started to confuse what the love was actually for. she thought she held the same passion to play that her brothers did, she was wrong. she now knows the love was to watch it never play it. she loved too watch her family come together and love something so much. she loved too watch other people play. she loved it from a distance. it took a while to come to terms with that.

when she explains the situation to anyone she always uses the same analogy. she loves to hear country music but that doesn't mean she wants to become the next taylor swift. even if she was a fan.

frankie had finally had enough and quit. not before going off on her coach though. something that she had been wanting to say every time she had been forced to stay after practice, run extra drills, every time she has been yelled at for tipping a shot in, every time she had been compared to her brothers, she finally did it.

*flashback to earlier*

"I want to see you guys here tomorrow morning seven am sharp!" coach lindsey said fiercely.

frankie respected the woman. her story was something she found inspiring. but right now she wanted the strangle the woman. her bones felt as if she was just hit by a bus and she hadn't had a good night sleep in about a month. so frankie being frankie, loudly groaned.

"hughes! just for that, you can stay back and do some laps!"

dont cry. dont cry. dont cry. you caused this.

her teammates filed out torwards the locker rooms desperately trying to get away before their coach decided to ultimately punish all of them while she began to skate. in her head frankie was about to lose it as her coach began to yell insult after insult.

"cmon hughes! you're never going to be good as your brothers with that speed"

"you call that faster?"

"I didn't tell you you can stop!"

coach lindsey yelled. she looked and sounded like abby lee miller. frankie smiled to herself at the thought as she began to slow down after skating as fast as she could for about fifteen minutes straight. not feeling well frankie skated off the rink towards the closest trashcan and threw up.

as she heard her coach coming up to her she began to plead.

"please, I cant take it anymore" she cried.

"your done for tonight. and fix that attitude by tomorrow morning will ya. you think your brothers are pulling this crap with their coaches?"

"I said I cant do it anymore!" frankie yelled finally having enough. shocking both herself and her coach.

"how is any of this okay! after everything you just yelled at me, pushing me through utter exhaustion, you come over here and try to act like its okay!?! i'm done."

"grow up and stop being a brat hughes. i'll see you tomorrow."

"you won't. I promise you that" Frankie threw back as she got her bag and began to walk out.

"you walk out that door and your future on this team is done!"

"its been done" frankie said walking out with tears streaming down her eyes.

*flashback ended*

she didn't know what to do. if she were to call her family they would worry and fly in thinking she was going through a manic episode, maybe she was but this felt real and it felt good.

its like her brain and heart had been at war since she was thirteen and her heart had finally won the war five years later. she didn't know whether to laugh or cry though.

she was happy because she was finally free. but she felt a dark cloud gloom over her when she realized she had to tell her family what she just did. she honestly didn't know how they were going to react.

the guilt began to rain on her as she remembered hoe happy they had been for her because they realized she can actually go on and play professionally since the PWHL had its debut and she was already a top prospect for the 2024 year draft but she just went and ruined it.

they're going to disown me.

that thought alone caused frankie to be where she was right now. in a bar with her fake ID drinking her feelings away on a wednesday night. alone. this had to be borderline alcoholic.

"I mean I wanted this right? so why do I feel like throwing myself off the bridge! why am I like this! am I being annoying? you can tell me greg" frankie rambled on to the bartender whose name was actually john.

"im going to call you and uber" he said dismissing her not wanting to deal with a drunk college girl.

"no! let me call someone!" she said taking the bar phone away from him. seeing as her phone had died about forty five minutes ago. quickly dialing the only number she remembered due to the fact she never saved his contact in her phone.

"hello?"

"drew! please, please come pick me up! you know I hate taking ubers alone. I swear i'll give you a little something after..." she said suggestively.

"frankie? hold on drews in the shower. its will, are you drunk? really on a wednesday? where are you?" will began to scold her over the phone, sounding very motherly.

"don't you judge me, I needed this. and im at the mecca" frankie slurred.

"ryan and I will be there in fifteen" he said hanging up.

__

"lady get off the counter!"

is what will and ryan heard when they walked into the bar.

"oh god" ryan said as he saw frankie start to crawl onto the counter. quickly rushing over to pull her off.

"m'not interested." she mumbled when she felt big hands around her waist.

ryan felt his heart crack. he knew he shouldn't because, one she probably thinks its some random guy and two frankie doesn't know he likes her.

since he first met frankie he realized he's had a thing for her but being the good friend he is, he kept his feelings to himself not wanting to start problems with drew.

it gives him so much anger to think about the fact that drew basically just uses her for sex. but at the same time she's probably just using drew too. so who is he to to get mad.

someone who would give her the world

"what are you doing frankie" will says giving her a disappointed look as ryan pulls her over his shoulder.

"I was just trying to dance!" frankie says upside down.

"on a wednesday at seven thirty pm? at least wait till ten" ryan says approaching the car and strapping her in.

"i quit the team"

"WHAT"

"ur lying"

will and ryan said at the same time with their eyes wide. they knew frankie hated playing hockey, they just never thought she was going to quit. someone with as much talent as frankie needs to be out there.

"m'not. im done and im scared to tell my family. I think they're going to be mad" she slurred as her eyes began to water.

ryan, who cant handle to see her cry quickly got into the back seat with her, and started to comfort her. wrapping her up in his arms and wiping her tears that began to fall from her big blue eyes. he could stare into them forever.

he told will to start driving back to her apartment as he comforted her.

"frankie, your family loves you and you know that. they're never going to hate you because you quit, if anything I think they've been expecting it-"

"geez thanks ryan" frankie says crying drunkly. ryan cant help but smile a bit because even though he hates to see her like this she looks really cute.

"not like that, its just anyone who knows and loves you can see your not happy out there. I see it, will sees it, so I know for a fact they see it too. and if they didnt and they do get mad thats on them. its your life not theirs" ryan says with his arm wrapped around her as she sniffles into his shirt.

"I guess so" she finally says seeing as their pulling up to her dorm.

"can you walk me up? its okay if you dont want too! I get it, im just scared that the RA is going to see me like this and call campus security on me and-"

"frankie! of course ill walk you up, are you kidding" ryan cuts off her rambling pulling her out of the car.

"i'll walk home smitty, you dont have to wait" ryan says knowing he was doing homework earlier that was due tonight before frankie had called.

"you sure?" will says kinda feeling bad for not staying and helping him take care of her. but then realizing ryan probably wants to take care of her.

him and gabe loved to tease ryan on the fact he was hopelessly in love with frankie. of course they would never tell drew even though they know if ryan were to just tell drew how he feels drew would back off. ryan just likes to be complicated.

"yeah, we'll be fine. right frankie?" he says keeping her upright. she was fully awake but the thing about frankie hughes is she loves to lay on the floor when she was drunk.

"yup!!" she chirps while ryan smiles down at her.

they wave goodbye to will while ryan picks her up and walks to towards her door. he smiles as he gets too her door and sees her doormat.

'cool bitches only'

he opens the door using her keys that he found in her purse and hauls her inside down the hall to her room. her room was so her. he loved it.

god I sound like a creep.

he shakes the thought from his head as he settles her down, takes off her shoes, and wipes all the remaining makeup off her face. thinking of how perfect she was.

"ryan" she says dreamingly as she feels him pull the cover over her body.

"yes baby?"

frankie felt her stomach do a cartwheel and she couldn't understand why.

"thank you. for everything."

"anytime frankie hughes"

he says before giving her a kiss on her forehead and walking home.

send in ideas for this au!! im really excited for it!

[kookslastbutton]

Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m) l ch. VI

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 6,192

Warnings: 8-year age gap, mentions of professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), kook gets pissed, jk mother is asdhjf!, mommy issues, lots of family drama/in-laws, fighting, manipulative parent, pent-up issues/desires, jk has daddy issues, jk being good hubby to oc, mild sexting, sexual content

Sexual warnings: bl*wj*b, jk c*mes on her t*tt*es, d*rty talk

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: um so this got over 6k which i know isn't amazing but for me its big deal okay?! haha! Anyway Part VI here we go! No flashbacks in this chapter because of ch.V buuut, I have a little gift for you and me. Hope you enjoy!! 💞 also pls vote if youd be so kind 😙

<< ch. V ༓ ch. VII >> | series masterlist

Living in the country for over thirty years, the Jeons were known to be excruciatingly slow and cautious drivers. The town was tiny, roads were narrow, and no one was ever in a rush to get anywhere apart from maybe the farmers market.

Once when Jungkook first got his license he took one hand off the steering wheel and his mother almost had a heart attack, saying it was “reckless of him to put them in danger”. It was from that moment forward that Jungkook always made sure to drive at 10 and 2 or 9 and 3 when his mother was in the car. His father on the other hand didn’t care what he did as long as he didn’t go above 30 mph.

Jungkook was counting his lucky stars when he finally got his own car and the chance to move to the city where he could drive how he damn well pleased–responsibly of course. He had recently finished his Master’s studies and was offered a job as an economist in a major medical corporation. The only catch was that he’d have to relocate to Seoul which ended up being more than fine with him.

His parents moaned and groaned that he wasn’t sticking around but his mind was made up. He moved out of his parent’s tiny town one late June and headed to the city where life moved to a whole new beat.

Ten years later, Jungkook finds himself gripping the steering wheel with two sweaty hands again. Kudos to his parents who have been telling him which way to turn and how fast or slow to go for the past fifteen minutes. He honestly should have picked a brunch spot closer to home to avoid all the madness. Walking would have done them good.

“I’ll never get used to how you drive down here,” Mrs. Jeon grumbles from the back seat. “All these sharp turns and six lanes of traffic going 50-plus miles an hour. It’s a wonder you haven’t all gotten in an accident yet. It’s like I always say, the slower the better. You city folks just don’t get it.”

Jungkook peers in his rearview mirror before signaling to switch lanes. “We can’t afford to go too slow out here Mom. This is a highway and dropping down in speed will cause a safety hazard just as bad, if not worse. Environments are different out here than in the woods.”

As Jungkook merges to the right, Mr. Jeon watches the surrounding cars from the back seat window. “Ah son, son, son!” He hollers and reaches for the ceiling handle.

“What? What happened?” Jungkook asks with panic. He flickers his eyes to the mirror again to spot his father's distress.

Mr. Jeon slowly releases the handle and lets out a lengthy sigh. “It's okay now, we’re good. You did good son. You moved over with so little space I thought you were going to hit the car now behind us."

"I told you it's a mad house out here!" Mrs. Jeon adds, tone thick. Jungkook puts his eyes back on the road in front of him and does his best to ignore the irritation bubbling within him.

"I know what I'm doing," he says. "I've lived here for ten years so can you guys please trust me? And stop with the driving advice and yelling every time I do something."

"We're just trying to help Kookie."

"Well, you're not alright?" The snap in his voice has Jungkook's parents sulking back in their seats in silence. "I want us to get to the restaurant safely and I can't do that when you're both shouting at me! So please just let me do the driving. Thank you."

God, if one more person calls him Kookie in that condescending tone he's going to lose it! Kookie was his childhood nickname but for some reason, it stuck to him like glue until he was friggin' 22 years old. He absolutely hates it and the only person remotely allowed to call him by it is his wife because she makes anything sound like honey to his ears.

The next five minutes are nothing but awkward silence and the sound of tires running on hard cement. Jungkook checks his phone—there's still a good ten minutes left according to the GPS. He moves to turn the radio on to break the eeriness of the drive when an incoming call pops on his car screen.

"Who's that? Who's calling?" Mr. Jeon pipes up.

"It's __." Jungkook hits the answer button. "Hey honey! You're on speaker." He smiles a big, wide grin that says nothing less than he misses you.

"Hi! I'm on my lunch break and thought I'd give you guys a call. I'm stopping at the grocery store tonight, after work. Anything you need?"

“Some booze would be nice!” Mr. Jeon echos and looks at his wife who merely shakes her head. He hasn’t had a drink in twenty years due to his high blood pressure, yet he’s still making the same damn jokes. “Got any Soju? Or maybe Bokbunja?” He chuckles at Mrs. Jeon’s sour face.

Jungkook pays his dad no mind and replies to you. “Uhm….we're low on milk again. I drank the last one yesterday.”

"You went through all those gallon jugs in a week?!" You'd think you'd be used to the amount of dairy your husband packs away but every time, it shocks you as much as the first. You married a milk-lovin’ machine.

Jungkook chuckles. "I'm sorry. I can get them for you if you want. We're on our way to get brunch, then hitting the bookstore for Dad, and after we'll swoop back home. I can pick it up along the way.”

“No need, I’m already going out later so I’ll get it. Anything else?”

“There’s nothing else I can think of. How’s work going?” He’s hoping it’s not hectic given the fact that last week was an absolute sandstorm. He distinctively remembers you coming home with nothing more than tired feet and dark circles under your eyes. He drew you a bath that night.

“Eh, so-so. I have a meeting with my boss later but besides that, it’s the usual. I wish I could have come to brunch with you guys. I feel bad I’m missing it.” Well, you do and you don’t. If Jungkook was planning on talking to his mom about the happenings of last night you wanted to be around for support but it was also a matter that should be between a mother and her son.

“Us too, but we’ll see you ton–shit!” Jungkook slams on the break when he sees he’s about to crash into a black SUV. Everyone’s seatbelts lock at the sudden jerk. “Sorry, sorry!” He checks the mirror to find his parents clinging to their seatbelts.

“Are you guys okay?! Jungkook?!”

He scans all around him to find rows and rows of cars all trying to merge into each other’s lanes. Some are coming from the exit nearby whereas others are trying to squeeze through people in hopes to get ahead.

Dammit, Jungook cruses to himself.

“Yeah, we’re good honey. Everything’s okay but we’ve hit a traffic jam. I’m not sure why since it’s literally 11:40 a.m on a Wednesday but looks like we’re going to be stuck here for a bit.”

“We’d never have this problem at home.” Jungkook hears his mother mumbling under her breath to which his father replies with a nodding of his head. “If it weren’t for all this nonsense we’d be there by now.”

“Absolutely. We’d be there fifteen minutes ago,” his father adds with his hands in the air. “Isn’t there some kind of way you can get around this son, like a shortcut?”

Ah yes, shortcuts on the highway. Why didn’t he think of that? Let him just push the button that says flight mode and–no! Having enough, Jungkook holds his foot on the break and twists his body around to face his parents.

“Alright listen to me right now. This is not Tiny Town where there are a million dirt roads that pop from anywhere and all seem to lead to one other. Everyone drives at least seventy out here and that’s just the way it is because this..." He gestures outside the windshield. "This is what happens! We all get stuck in this congested funnel! But if you two can think of a way to get out of here that doesn’t involve attempting to bulldoze other cars, I’m all ears. Until then we’re going to sit here and talk about the weather because there's nothing else we can do!"

Jungkook looks back and forth between his parents. Mrs. Jeon simply stares outside her window while his dad gives a slow nod in understanding.

"Is it really that bad?"

Jungkook relaxes his body back to face the front when he hears your voice. "Yeah, it's pretty bad __." He lets out a long, exasperated sigh. This is going to be a very long day.

"Nice out today. Mind if I roll down the window?" The traffic hasn't got any better and it was starting to get stuffy in the car. Mr. Jeon desperately needed some fresh air in his face.

"Mhm yeah, go ahead."

"How about some music? Find out what's on the radio will you." He sticks his arm out the window, letting the gentle breeze hit his skin. When the first song blares through the speakers, Jungkook's mother breaks her deafening silence.

"Dear god! What music is this?"

Mr. Jeon immediately perks up. "It's PSY! Turn it up! Turn it up, boy!" Jungkook appeases his father's wishes and turns the knob a few more notches. "Oppa Gangnam Style! Eae eae eae e, sexy lady!"

Hearing his dad singing at the top of his lungs has Jungkook rubbing the side of his head. It's not that he sounded bad but he was singing so loud that everyone around them started pointing, laughing, or rolling up their own windows. "Dad, people are going to get annoyed. Take it down a little."

Deeply immersed in the song, Mr. Jeon continues singing regardless of his son's request. "Op, op, op, op, oppa Gangnam Style!" He starts rocking in his seat which causes a few middle schoolers in the car next to them to pop out their phones.

"Dad!" Jungkook hollers when he notices the kids taking pictures. If doesn't put an end to this now, his father's face is going to be trending all over the internet with god knows what filter.

"Op, op, op, op, on on on on!"

"Dad stop!" He tries again, this time turning the music down. Mrs. Jeon attempts to calm her husband down too, placing a hand on one of his arms but it doesn't take much for it to be ripped out of her grasp. Mr. Jeon ends up nearly whacking his wife in the face due to all his energetic dancing.

"Erotic sexy lady! Oppa Gangnam Sty–hey! Song wasn't done yet!" Jungkook's dad never looked so offended in his life. If he had adjusted his gaze just a few inches to the left he'd see the group of kids, the ones taking photos earlier, giggling to one another. But he was too pissed at his son for crashing his party that it went to the wayside.

"Honey, you were causing a disturbance," Mrs. Jeon says.

"A disturbance? In this traffic jam, I'm the disturbance?" He refuses to believe he's the annoyance when they've been in the middle of a highway, moving at 5 mph for the last hour. PSY has recently become his favorite singer and not enjoying himself would have been an absolute tragedy in his opinion. "It's all of you who should be thanking me for offering some shred of entertainment at times like these."

"The entire population of South Korea is going to be thanking you then." Jungkook creeps forward as soon as the car in front of him moves up a ways. Finally moving again, he hums.

"Hey!" An abrupt voice calls from a slight distance. Two teenage boys pull up in a Jaguar, greasy grins on their faces. "Great singing Grandpa! Really know how to move!" The one in the passenger seat flashes his phone playing a video of Jungkook's dad online.

"Wha–how–What?! You delete that right now!" Mr. Jeon is stunned, tripping over his words at the shock of himself actually being the center of the internet. The video is unexpectedly clear.

"Just ignore them, Dad." Jungkook rolls up all the windows in the car and inches up the best he can to get the teenagers out of direct sight.

"But-but how did they do that so fast? It hasn't even been five minutes yet!"

"It only takes seconds, honey," Mrs. Jeon sighs, realizing her husband has become famous over a re-rendition of a PSY song. Of all things, it had to be that.

"I'm starving."

"Me too."

Jungkook glances at the time–2:40p.m. It's now been three hours of sitting in traffic and they've only moved about ten miles. What on earth is congesting the highway this much?

"Maybe we should take one of these exits." His dad scrolls through the map on his phone. "Says there are a few restaurants down exit 6A."

Jungkook considers the idea. He wants to get off the highway, yes, but so does everyone else. The exit his dad is talking about is off the far right lane which means he's going to need to shove in front of everyone's way.

"You sure it's a good place? Wherever it is you're looking?" The reason why he asks is that his dad is notorious for leading them into the most ruin down places. The last time he was in charge of directions, they ended up in front of an abandoned pizza shop.

Mrs. Jeon takes the phone from her husband's hand and swipes through the photos of a quaint restaurant. "It's not bad," she concludes. "And if it means we can get out of this mess, then I'm with your father on this one."

Two against one. Jungkook turns his signal on and waits for someone to let him over. He earns a few honks when he manages to squeeze his nose over but does his best to give an apologetic wave.

After a few more lane changes he gets in the exit lane. He isn't the only one planning to take exit 6B though, being that there are at least twenty other cars waiting in line.

"Maybe we were better off back where we were. All these people want to get off the same place. If we keep going there's bound to be another exit with far less traffic."

Really? Jungkook feels himself ticking again. After all that shoving to get over here and this is what he gets? No, he's not moving back over. They're going to wait in this stupid lane until it gets them to where they originally agreed.

"We just got here and we're not moving back anywhere. This lane should clear up in less time than it would take to go back on the main highway," Jungkook says. "Also, I probably don't need to clarify this but, we're not going to make it to that bookstore you wanted, Dad."

"It's fine, son. We'll go another day."

Which means tomorrow, Jungkook half grumbles to himself. His parents are here for another day after all and he knows his father well enough to know that "another day" really means the closest day possible.

Despite its size, the restaurant his parents choose is charming with its floor-to-ceiling wood paneling and giant, bay windows. The odd hanging plant is spread throughout the open dining space as well, perfectly setting the mood of serenity.

The restaurant only seems to hold about a dozen people inside, however. So thinking it is best to avoid sitting in an overly crowded space, Jungkook asks for one of the tables outside.

“Oh now this is lovely,” his mother praises, pulling her chair up to the table. Jungkook can’t describe how relieved he is to finally hear something positive after hours of nonstop grumbling.

Mr. Jeon takes a seat next to his wife and across from his son. “I just saw someone get Samgyeopsal and it was huge! Let’s get that to share.”

His enthusiasm is short-lived when the scrunched-up face from his wife says she's not a fan. “That's too much food! We still have to be hungry for dinner so we can eat with __."

"Mom's right," Jungkook agrees reluctantly. "__'s stopping at the grocery store after work so we can prep for dinner tonight. I know traffic slowed us down so we're eating at a weird time but it's better we go with something light."

"Oh well, we can always take some to go! Surely __ will enjoy some beautifully grilled pork!" Jungkook's father is adamant. He wants nothing more than a heavy meal after being stuck in the car all morning.

"__ doesn't like pork Dad. And we all know as soon as we get a whiff of it cooking there's not going to be any leftovers."

"Alright, alright," his dad concedes. "I guess I'll try their bibimbap. What are you having hon?"

Jungkook checks his phone messages while his parents make small talk over the menu. You texted him earlier to see how traffic was holding up and he only able to get back to you minutes ago.

Wifey ❤️ : So I'm guessing you haven't talked to your mom yet?

Jungkook: No, haven't brought it up. She seems fine though with the way she's been acting. It doesn't take much for her to go back to her usual self

Wifey ❤️: Her usual self being...?

Jungkook: You know, really particular.

Wifey ❤️: So she's complaining again. I'm sorry 😞

Jungkook: When I was talking with her on the phone before we left, she was much more careful about what she was saying. I expected it to still be that way now. Must have been a mood.

Wifey ❤️: Sounds like she wasn't sure how you'd be reacting after what happened last night. Maybe she's just reverting to back what she's used to because she's unsure what else to do or say. I'd still try finding a way to talk to her. Does it seem tense?

Jungkook: Yeah, you have a point. But Mom's also had a good way of sweeping things under the rug. It's not tense but it's just uncomfortably normal?

Wifey ❤️: Hmm, strange. And your dad's fine?

Jungkook: Honey...have you been on any social media in the last half hour?

Wifey ❤️: No, why?

Jungkook: Might wanna check. We had a little incident while in traffic. I'm still in shock honestly 😅

Jungkook waits for you to find the video of his dad. He already had the guys blowing up his phone from it so he's surprised none of them at least forwarded it to you.

Wifey ❤️: oh my god! Jungkook what happened?! 😂 I hope you're prepared for your students to be all over this

Jungkook: oh shit, that didn't even cross my mind 😩 also it's not funny honey! Listening to my dad singing eae e sexy lady was traumatizing enough. Now I have to see and hear it every time I pop open my phone or some teen punks show it to me!

Wifey ❤️: Aw Kookie, they're just being kids...try not to overthink. And you know those videos come and go. Your dad will be at the bottom of the chain by next week. Until then keep him away from PSY 😅 But I'm sorry you're having a day, I love you 🥺

Jungkook: I MISS YOU SO MUCH 😭

Wifey ❤️: [sent an image]

Fuck! Jungkook chokes on his spit when he sees a blurry close up of your cleavage. Thankfully his parents are still too occupied by the menu that they didn't notice.

Jungkook: sexy af but this isn't the time to be sexting me baby!

He nearly saves the photo if it weren't for the fact that he already had an album dedicated to very sensual *ahem erotic* photos of you. You had let him take them himself —best motherfuckin' birthday ever.

Wifey ❤️: oh adhjjhj, sorry!! That was an accident. I'm such a klutz. This is what I meant... [sent an image]

"What's going on over there?" Jungkook merely glimpses at the new image before whipping his head up, hearing his mother's, sharp tone.

"It's just __. She's asking about groceries again."

With slightly narrowed eyes, Mrs. Jeon continues. "We're about to order if you're ready."

Dammit. He'll have to reply to you later. Jungkook swiftly pockets the phone. "Okay yeah I'm good to go."

"This is delicious," Mr. Jeon says, patting his mouth with a napkin. "Best bibimbap I've had in a long time."

"That's great Dad." Jungkook stirs his noodles.

"Ah, where's the restroom around here?" He asks the waitress as she walks by. She tells him it's in the restaurant, all the way to the back. Mr. Jeon pushes his chair from the table and excuses himself. "All that broth has me needing to go."

"Yes yes, just go." Why his father needed to explain himself every time he needed to use the restroom is beyond him. Jungkook peers at his mother, taking her time eating her own bowl of noodles–they ended up ordering the same thing. "How is it?" he asks.

"It's good."

"Not too spicy?"

"No, it's mild."

Jungkook gathers more noodles on his chopstick. He freezes halfway when he sees his mother eyeing him intensely. "Everything okay?"

Mrs. Jeon folds her hands in her lap. "It's occurred to me that we still have an elephant in the room. I was hoping we'd be able to talk about it while your father browsed the bookstore. But plans changed."

And here he thought his mother had been playing down last night when really she was biding her time. "You know Dad's gonna be back in like ten minutes right?"

Mrs. Jeon nods. "I know it's not the most convenient of times or places, but I'm afraid if we delay it won't get discussed."

"Okay." Jungkook sets his chopsticks down. "Well...where do you want to start?"

"An apology would be nice." Her voice is mellow but the words are a clear demand rather than an offer. Of course, he wants to apologize to her for all the things he accused her of last night. But he wasn't expecting her to be this forward with it, especially since she was guilty of plenty herself. "I'm waiting Kookie," she coos, taking a sip of water.

Jungkook knits his eyebrows in response, unsure of what he's hearing. His mother looks far too relaxed about this whole thing. He decides to give her the benefit of the doubt. "You're right," he starts. "I'm sorry for what I said last night. I shouldn't have spoken that way and I'm sorry for making you leave. I think you and Dad showing up all a sudden threw me off and I reacted poorly."

Mrs. Jeon cracks a tight smile and reaches for her son's hand. "Thank you, Jungkook. I accept your apology." She gives his hand a squeeze before moving to pick up her chopsticks. "Now that we got that settled let's talk about the reunion. I'm thinking about talking to–"

What....the fuck? His mom did not just glide over this whole issue. She did not just put everything on him. And she did not just bring up that damn reunion again, which he's made very clear he wants nothing a part of. "Is that all you wanted? For me to make my amends with you?"

"What else would there be Kookie?" She scoffs, eyes wide.

"Goddamn it." He struggles to maintain a hushed voice. "Can you please stop calling me that? And what the hell do you mean 'what else would there be'? I'm not trying to put the blame on you but there's a good amount you should be saying to me too."

"What things are you referring to? Don't tell me this is about the reunion again. Look, whatever it is that I said was because I just want to see you more. And no more swearing. You know I don't like that kind of language."

"How can you be like this?" Jungkook can't stop himself. He figured his mom and he would have a better, heart-to-heart than this. It makes his skin crawl that his mother continues to play the victim. "It's genuinely shocking me how....do you even love me?"

Mrs. Jeon pauses at that. "Of course, I love you Jungkook. Why–why would you ask that?" She blinks back the slightest hint of tears forming along the edge of her eyes. Never in a million years did she think her son would doubt something this crucial.

"I feel like–"

"Feel what? What is it?"

"I feel like you care more about what I can do for you than you do me, as your son." Jungkook sniffs. This is a lot harder for him to say than he imagined. "There's been so many times that you've–"

"Don't say this honey! I care about you very much!" She reaches for his hand again but he yanks it away. "What are you trying to tell me?" His mother waits for him to form the rest of the sentence.

Jungkook hesitates to look at her straight on because behind what appears to be concerned eyes is disbelief. She isn't taking any of this seriously. It's written all over her face, tone, and all the way down to the way she's focusing on an answer rather than his inability to comfortably talk to her.

"What have I done so many times?"

"Honestly at this point, what haven't you done?" With an icy glare, Jungkook can't hold himself back anymore. The pot that's been brewing, deep in the darkest parts of him is finally overflowing and it's not going to be pretty to behold. "Do you realize how many times you chose your job, your status, and even your friends over me? And you make Dad go along with literally anything! Is it so horrible for someone to say no to you?!"

The couple next to them shoot uncomfortable looks his way, whispering to each other. Jungkook ignores it and starts counting with his fingers.

"Never once have you ever taken responsibility for showing up uninvited, nagging me about this that, and the other thing, making backhanded comments about my life choice, and most of all pretending our relationship is peachy fine. Well, I'm sorry mom, I'm thirty-four years old and I don't need to live by your rules! Our relationship is barely hanging by a thread and being quite real, it's __ and Dad who are the ones clinging to that thread, making sure it doesn't completely snap."

Mrs. Jeon opens her mouth to interject but Jungkook doesn't allow it to happen. It's not exactly intentional that he's pouring out so much in the middle of people's lunch. Still, he's been shoved over a steep cliff, head first.

"I'm sorry mom, I don't know how many times I need to say it. I don't enjoy any bit of this. It's just been a long stretch of–"

"That's enough! I don't want to hear any more." Mrs. Jeon immediately grabs her purse and twists her neck every which way. "Where's your father? I want to leave."

"Mom I'm trying to talk to you! Why won't you let me talk?"

His mother doesn't reply. She doesn't look at him. It's the silent treatment, Jungkook concludes–it's fucking irritating. "I'm not trying to be hurtful," he says, forcing himself to calm down. "Mom look at me."

She doesn't move.

It only takes seconds for their waitress to near her way up to the table with anxious steps. "I'm sorry to be doing this but unfortunately, we've received a few complaints of a disturbance out here." The young girl clasps her hands. "To ensure all our guests are comfortable we're going to need to ask you to take your conversation elsewhere. I'm really sorry."

Fuck. How embarrassing. Jungkook clears his throat and stands up from his seat. "We understand and are genuinely sorry for the commotion. We'll pay at the front and be on our way. Thank you for waiting our table."

The young girl gives a nervous smile and retreats inside the restaurant. Jungkook makes a note to give her a generous tip.

"Hey, what's going on out here?" Mr. Jeon rushes over, hair blowing over due to the breeze. "I heard there was some inconsiderate party out here airing out their dirty laundry for all to see. I tell you, people these days don't know what privacy means anymore!" He shakes his head and takes a seat.

"Get up Dad we're leaving."

"But I'm not done my–––oh shit." Mr. Jeon clenches his teeth. "You two?"

Mrs. Jeon gets up from her chair, still wordless, and walks towards the parking lot. "I'll get this Dad." Jungkook stops his father from pulling out his wallet. "It is best if you go try to ease Mom. I don't think she'll be talking to me for a while."

Mr. Jeon puts a hand on his son's shoulder. It's his way of offering comfort. "You're mother has made things difficult for you, Jungkook. I'll try getting through to her. In the meantime don't let this eat you up. It's been a long time coming."

Jungkook doesn't get home until quarter past six. The drive home was better than the drive to the restaurant, but hitting the notorious five o'clock traffic slowed them down once more. He also had to drop his parents at their hotel which was no easy task. His mother barely gave him a glance before hopping out of the car. The amount of guilt settling in his gut isn't going away any time soon.

"Hey." Jungkook finds you searching through the kitchen cupboard. "I hope you're okay with spice tonight! I got this really awesome–oh baby what's wrong?" You stop what you're doing when you see your husband come up behind you with sunken eyes. He wraps his larger arms around you, desperately needing your scent.

"I blew it," he croaks. "She's so mad at me."

"I'm sorry Jungkook. I'm sorry I couldn't be there." You turn in his arms to pull him into a full embrace. His nose tickles the side of your neck but you don't laugh. "You wanna tell me?"

Jungkook takes your hand and sits you both on the couch in the living room. "The morning started out rough with three hours of traffic and the two of them in the back seat, telling me where and how I should drive. Then my dad got unexpectedly famous off a PSY song. We finally got to some restaurant about half an hour west of here before 3pm. Everything was going okay until dad went to the bathroom."

"Okay," you say, scooting closer beside him. You rub small circles on his upper back as he leans forward on his spread-apart knees. "What happened?"

"Mom suggested we talk about last night so I said sure." You watch as Jungkook fiddles with his hands. "But she didn't actually care about a conversation or what I had to say. All she wanted, all she expected, was for me to apologize to her so we'd be okay again. It all came out after that and I feel so horrible about it. We ended up getting kicked out of the restaurant too."

"Jungkook..."

"I tried __. I wanted to be patient and to be a good son but she can't even look at me right now." He falls back on the couch, staring at the blank wall in front. "Dad's convinced it was bound to happen."

"You are a good son, Jungkook." You comb a few strands of his soft, ebony hair. He closes his eyes as you do. "You're mom's the one who needs to readjust her view."

"I never thought I'd yell at my mom about all that stuff. And certainly not in public where everyone is trying to have a pleasant lunch. I'm a grown-ass adult and I should have had better control of myself."

You settle into his inner shoulder, laying a hand on his chest. "Even grown adults have limits and your mom's far surpassed those limits. Don't blame yourself for this."

"Dad said the same thing."

"Well, that's two against one."

Jungkook smiles. Two against one, that's where he got that from. Not that you're the first person to use the phrase but he never used it as regularly until you moved in together.

"I missed you so much today. I don't deserve you."

You cock your head up as quick as the words fly from his mouth. "Don't you dare say things like that! You're a good man despite how awful your mother treats you." You lean your face near his, eyes wandering deep into his dark brown ones. "If you're not otherwise too tired, I'm going to show you how much I love you."

Jungkook opens his lids at that–apparently not too tired. You smirk and get off the couch.

"Here?" His classic doe-eyes peer down at your kneeled position. Seeing you settle this perfectly between his muscular thighs triggers an intense blood rush that goes straight to his dick. Jungkook didn't think he was going to get horny tonight but here he was with his half-harden length in your hands in the middle of the living room.

"Mhm." You position yourself just enough for him to have a clear view of your tits. You had taken both your shirt and bra off before starting. You know how your husband likes it. "That okay with you?"

Jungkook groans when you grip his cock harder, gliding it from the base to the tip in repeated motions. "Fuck yeah. It's more than okay." You giggle at how quickly your husband gets in the mood. He thinks you're the bitch in the bedroom? You quicken your movements.

"Oh shit this feels so good." He grips the couch cushion, keeping his focus on you. "Need that gorgeous mouth wrapped around me baby, please. Shit–"

You honor your husband's requests and trace your tongue from the base of his cock all the way up to his tip. Once there, you suck lightly before taking him in whole.

"That's it. Take my cock, fuck." Jungkook goes on to praise you as you bottom out. You gag a little at first being that you haven't done this in what....weeks? Damn. Whatever happened to the days when you'd literally go down on each other every day?

"We need to get you reacquainted with my cock honey," he teases, bucking his hips forward to push himself further into your mouth. "All these weeks without my cock in your mouth has you gagging all over me. Been it's been too long hasn't it?"

"Mm," is the only thing you reply with, the weight of his thick length dragging back and forth on your tongue. By now your pussy is pulsating like crazy and you're tempted to just get up and fuck yourself on him. But tonight was about your husband–you're going to make sure of it. And Jungkook loves nothing more than getting head with your bare tits in full view, obviously.

A few sucks later and Jungkook starts fucking himself into your mouth. They began as soft, needy bucks of his hips but now they're rough, full-force thrusts. His length shoves to the back of your throat and you moan desperately around him. "Did you miss my cock baby? I bet you did. My sexy wife....you're mine and you're gonna make me come, aren't you? Fuck yeah, you are."

Your eyes water as you continue to take him, hallowing your cheeks the best you can. Jungkook has his eyes screwed shut and sweat dripping from his forehead. Your panties are so fucking soaked right now and your nipples are defiantly hard from sheer arsousal.

"God I'm so close baby. You're mouth is---fuck I don't even have the words. It's fucking magic! And your tits are so hot from this angle. Kinda reminds me of what you sent to me earlier. Can I come on them? I'm so close." Jungkook takes your broken moans as a yes and starts ramming into you two more times before pullout and covering your breasts with warm liquid. "Fuck fuck fuck," he grunts, spilling himself on you.

What a mess. You look down at yourself. What a motherfuckin' mess and you love it. Jungkook pulls you into a passionate kiss, tongue rolling with yours in heavenly harmony. "Thank you for this," he says between kisses. "I'll help you wash up, I promise."

"Mm Jungkook," you pant. "I think I need you inside me."

Hey, he got his dick sucked and he creamed your tits–it's mama's turn now, or excuse you–wifey.

A/N: this got nasty whoops. not sorry. Anyway LMK what you think, thanks for reading! 💞 also pls vote if youd be so kind

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no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[daydreamalley]

A Ramble about Phase 19 of the Fifteen Manga Ft. Storm Bringer spoilers

Just absolutely cannot get over the 15 manga. I love the light novel so much, but this manga adaptation is so ridiculously amazing. Dazai and Chuuya’s proximity/touching has been amazing of course. I adore the way Hoshikawa draws Dazai and Chuuya as well (my baby boys, especially Chuuya). But these last two chapters with Rimbaud and Verlaine. Like, fuck. The whole “At least, one of them felt that way,” part just hits so much harder in the manga for me, with the art and page placement. And this whole most recent chapter. Like firstly, you don’t have to end every chapter with like Chuuya getting stabbed okay, help me out here.

Comparing the last page of phase 18 with Verlaine and the first page of phase 19 with Chuuya makes it so obvious that Rimbaud is seeing the similarities between them with just that parallel, which is confirmed later with Rimbaud quite literally seeing Verlaine standing behind Chuuya. 

Not to mention in phase 18 the “That’s right Paul, I remember you,” in conjunction with him seeing Verlaine in Chuuya.

Then that flashback with Verlaine carrying Chuuya and Chuuya’s just so small I could cry.

Like, I knew he was small, but he's just so young, I can't. People were experimenting on him. Like, how??

The way Rimbaud wants to ask Chuuya something and Chuuya crouches down to him. Which leads to Rimbaud putting a hand around Chuuya as he tells him to live. How close and personal they are when Rimbaud says all of this just make it feel so much more impactful for Chuuya. Kinda love too that Chuuya isn't just standing over Rimbaud. He's making it obvious he's open to listening.

Rimbaud says a lot of shitty things to Chuuya up to this point, even complaining that he has to kill a kid while only referring to Dazai, completely not acknowledging Chuuya as anything more than Arahabaki. But once he fully remembers what happened with Verlaine, I feel like that’s when Rimbaud remembers what he truly believed about Verlaine and his humanity and how that extends to Chuuya’s humanity. Because Rimbaud’s whole final speech is most definitely things he’d also thought of or told Verlaine before (as I think is confirmed in SB). I think those are Rimbaud’s true thoughts and beliefs on the matter, it just took that long for him to remember the full story and how he felt about it all. Rimbaud saw Verlaine’s struggles with humanity, and now he also remembers why Verlaine betrayed him. And so he tells Chuuya to live, just as Verlaine wanted him to back then, live without the burden of worrying about your humanity or where you came from, because “you are you.” It doesn’t matter if Chuuya (and Verlaine) “are but a pattern etched on the surface of raw power.” In Rimbaud’s mind, and honestly where we eventually end up at the end of SB, is that it really doesn’t matter what your origins are, whether someone is an artificial personality (aka pattern) etched onto raw power, because really everything is some version of a pattern upon the world. And in a word with abilities, a lot of people are a pattern connected to a power. Just as in SB Chuuya decides that even though Adam isn’t human and he knows it, it doesn’t take away from Adam’s actions, his sacrifices, or his dreams. Same goes for Chuuya and Verlaine. Their origins don't affect how human they truly are. Their humanity is significant no matter what. It just took a bit more convincing for Chuuya to get there, a little more than what Rimbaud could offer on his (almost) deathbed.

Anyway, Chuuya holding Rimbaud’s hand as he dies just does things to me. Like, the book described that “Both Chuuya and Dazai quietly listened as if there was something in what Randou (Rimbaud) was saying that they couldn’t allow themselves to miss… Some things, however, would not return to normal: the body of a man who no longer felt the cold, and the hearts of two boys who stood rooted to the spot, staring at him. A gust of wind peered through their souls as it passed them by.”

This page just so well depicts that last line. It truly feels these boys have heard something so monumental, that they won’t ever forget. Standing in the aftermath of their first fight together, hearing these words about humanity that both mean so much to both of them. Dazai’s expressions really convey this to me in the manga, and convey it just so beautifully. And Chuuya being so close to Rimbaud when he speak those words just makes it feel like those words truly are so monumental for him. And also this means that Chuuya fought to kill a man, that to be entirely fair and clear was trying to kill him first, and then held to his hand as he dies, and there’s just something about this added detail that’s so significant to me in portraying the weight of it on Chuuya. Chuuya's connection to Rimbaud is a complicated but important one. But really these words are important for both boys, because let’s not forget that Dazai also struggles with his humanity. Even if he doesn’t have a physical reason to doubt his humanity, like Chuuya, there are many other reasons that he does doubt it. So hearing that all people and all of humanity are really just patterns within the physical world, human or not that’s true of everyone and everything, and that’s important for Dazai to hear too. I think both boys think back to Rimbaud’s final speech quite a bit, if I’m being honest or did for a while.

I am NOT getting over the detail that someone (Chuuya??) put Rimbaud’s scarf on his grave. I just… it does something to me and I love that detail so much. And cutting back to that “You are you” line while Chuuya’s talking to the grave is just so perfect in my opinion, and again just shows the significance of it so, so well. It’s like, he's talking to Rimbaud, complaining about his actions really, and then it cuts to that “you are you” and it just shows almost the contrast I guess between Chuuya feeling unrest at not finding stuff about his past that Rimbaud could’ve given him, but maybe wouldn’t have anyway, and Rimbaud’s statement that those things don’t matter because Chuuya is who he is beyond all that. Also the little dandelion blowing into the wind, to me also signifying a wish being spread.

Anyway, entirely unnecessary to end the chapter with a big knife in Chuuya’s back, thanks. Especially after Chuuya mentions how he’s still exhausted from everything. Like let’s just, stop, please.

He's just a boy, leave him alone for the sake of all things good.

[asterias-record-shop]

—𓆩[in our next life || V]𓆪—

𓆩[masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[next part]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪 𓆩[join the taglist!]𓆪

𓆩♡𓆪 CHARACTER - Finnick Odair x Fem! District 4 Victor! Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 TYPE - fluff, slight angst

𓆩♡𓆪 WORD COUNT - 2.8K

𓆩♡𓆪 SUMMARY - Peeta and Katniss weren’t the first to fall in love after the games. That title went to you and Finnick, your mentor after you were Reaped at the age of fifteen two years after Finnick. After being dragged back into the Games with the Quarter Quell, you both are determined to stop it, no matter what- especially if one of you would gladly sacrifice themselves for the other.

𓆩♡𓆪 STORY WARNINGS - cursing & foul language || CPR & mouth to mouth || fighting, blood & death || flashbacks || swimming & water || choking (not sexually) ||

When you rose out of the tube, you were shocked to be on a platform in the water. You and Finnick obviously had the advantage in this because you were from District 4, but you couldn’t find him at all.

Your eyes searched frantically, heart rate spiking before a loud whistle gains your attention, your head snapping in the direction of the noise. You felt yourself calm down immediately, sighing in relief before the loud blaring of numbers made you look up.

Looking around, you prepare yourself to jump into the water as soon as the clock hits the one. You scoffed when they say ‘may the odds be ever in your favor’, and as soon as the clock blared, you jumped into the water.

It wasn’t hard to get to the pathway of rocks, but when someone jumped on your back and brought you down to the ground. You grunted on impact, quickly turning around and fighting their group. It was the male tribute from District 5, and he was way too heavy for you to push off. Your hands fly toward his face, attempting to scratch and poke at his eyes before his own wrapped around your throat.

You gasped, attempting to get as much oxygen into your lungs as your fingers pushed into his eyes. He screamed out, looking away but putting more force into his grip around your neck. Your eyes rolled back, the lack of oxygen making your throat burn.

You remembered though that this time you weren’t alone. You had Finnick, and with a loud yell of his name, his attention was quickly on you. His eyes quickly searched to find you, because as much as Peeta was important to Katniss and she was important to the rebellion, you were more important to him and he’d save you over Peeta any day.

Finally, he found you. “Y/N!”

When an arrow whizzed into his chest though and the pressure from your throat was released, you gasped as you pushed him off, the first cannon echoing through the arena. He fell into the water as you quickly stood, panting as you stared at Katniss holding the bow and arrow. With a firm nod, she nods back as you quickly run to Finnick, jumping into the water with him. Even then, though, when you heard the cannon you paused before Peeta came back up. You sighed in relief before turning to Finnick who quickly swam over to you, pulling you in for a firm kiss.

You groan as his hand goes around your neck, pulling away so he can angle your face upward. “Are you alright, darling?”

You nodded. “I’m fine, Finnick. Thank you.”

He sighs heavily, nodding before turning back to Katniss. “We need to get away from here!”

His words lead all of you to run through the forest, Finnick’s hand intertwined with yours before you all stopped, panting. Slowly, he gives you small knives that you used for pain points in the body that you had memorized when you wanted to be a healer. Then you realized there was no point when there was technology to do that. He holds you close, heavy breathing turning soft as you listen to the cannons. Finnick laughs as you smile at him, looking at Katniss. “Guess we’re not holding hands anymore.”

She scoffs. “You think that’s funny?”

You scoff back, pointing at the sky. “Every time that cannon goes off, it’s music to my ears. I don’t care about any of them,” you gesture away from you and Finnick. “Every time I hear that noise, it’s one less person for me to kill.”

She laughs bitterly. “You were doing such a good job of that earlier.”

You stood, shoving her as Finnick pushed Peeta away, trying to get to Katniss as you held a small blade to her throat. “If you’re going to do something, do it. Don’t hold it over my fucking head later, because I swear to the heavens I’ll fucking kill you. I don’t owe you for saving my life, you did that on your own accord. I would’ve handled it or Finnick, but he was too busy trying to save your fucking boyfriend.”

“Hey! We’re supposed to be allies!” Peeta says, shoving Finnick’s hands off of him as you glared at Katniss.

“Remind your fucking girlfriend of that. Trust is a two way street, and she’s not showing much of a road,” you snap, shoving her back against the tree as you step away. “Don’t fucking hold shit over my head, Everdeen. You might think you’re big and bad for winning your last games, but don’t fucking forget that I won too.”

You slipped your knives into your suit, quickly grabbing Finnick’s hand. “And I killed so much more than you both combined.”

You turned around, walking with Finnick before Peeta walked in front of you both. “Hey. Hey!” He says, making you both pause. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about her, ignore her,” you hear Katniss scoff as you smile at Peeta. “I’m here to get you to trust us, okay? We’re allies.”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, Peeta,” you smiled at him, ruffling his hair. “I trust you.”

He blushed. “Th-Thank you. Let’s keep moving.” Taking the machete he got from Katniss, he walks forward, swinging it around before you see a glint.

The force field. This was the end of the arena.

“Peeta, no!”

You were too late as the blade connected with the border, flinging him backwards as you rushed forward. “Peeta? Peeta!”

“Peeta. Peeta!” Katniss yelled as she ran to his side, stroking his face. “He’s not breathing. He’s not breathing!”

You push her out of the way, Finnick quickly coming behind her. “No! Don’t touch him!” She gets her arrow ready before your lips connect to his, puffing air into his mouth before sitting back on your knees and starting compressions.

“Hey! Pretty boy, wake up!” You grunted, Finnick slapping the bow out of Katniss’ grip and guarding your body with his own.

Katniss crawled over, sobbing softly as her shaky hands trail over his cheek and shoulder. “Peeta. Peeta, please wake up, please.”

You lean down, cursing when you don’t hear his heart before leaning down to breathe into his mouth again. Cursing, you start more compressions as Finnick starts to tug on your arms. “Y/N. Darling, come on-”

“He’s not going to die!” You say quickly, looking at him. “I’m not going to let him die.”

Finnick nods slightly, watching as you lean down to breathe more air into his mouth and pushing a few more times on his chest. You inhale sharply as he gasps for air, sighing in relief as you sit back, exhausted from just that. Leaning into Finnick, he kissed your head firmly, his hand going to your throat and rubbing soothingly. “Good girl, good job darling.”

You both walk away as Katniss and Peeta have their moment, sighing heavily as she walks over. “It’s a dome. We’re at the edge of the arena. No sign of fresh water.”

“Well, it’s gonna get dark soon,” Finnick says and you lean against a tree, rubbing at your throat. The adrenaline from earlier was finally coming down, and your throat felt as though it was swollen closed. “We should set up camp here. We’ll be fine with our bags protected, and each one of us can take watch. I’ll take first watch.”

Katniss laughs mockingly. “Not a chance.”

Finnick scoffs, rubbing his chin. “You see what Y/N did back there? She saved his life. If we wanted either of you dead now, we would’ve done it by now. And trust me, it wouldn’t be that hard.”

“Fin.” You say, your voice coming out hoarse. He turned quickly, all but running over to you as he set the trident down next to you. “You remember that leaf I told you about that can heal surface wounds?”

He nodded. “Yeah, yes. Yes I do.”

“Can you go see if you can find it?”

He nodded, immediately standing. “Of course, darling.”

You closed your eyes, hand slipping into your suit to grab one of the knives as you heard footsteps walking over to you, opening your eyes to see Peeta. “Thank you,” he whispers and you smile slightly at him.

“Don’t mention it. It isn’t listed in my skills that I’m very talented in the healing sector.”

He laughs slightly as he leans on the tree next to you. “I owe you.”

You look over at Finnick who was looking for the purple tinted leaf you showed him just before he went off to his games. “Just keep him safe Peeta,” you look over, smiling slightly. “And I will do the same for her.”

Your games were on the… interesting side. It was inspired by the second Quarter Quell, so when you were put into a garden of poisonous plants, you knew just what to avoid thanks to your skills in healing. This time, they were more lethal though, and as soon as you got to the cornucopia, you grabbed a roll of small knives wrapped in a protective leather case and your significant bag.

The knives were especially made for you, but when you saw the fishing rope hidden in the corner, you grabbed it and threw it over your shoulder. Before being able to grab food, you were yanked back by one of District 2’s career tributes, and as soon as that happened, you threw your weight back to bring you both down to the ground, him right on the edge of the cornucopia and breaking your fall.

You heard the first cannon, gasping as you stood and saw a large pool of blood coming from his skull. It shocked you more than it should’ve, but whenever you heard someone yell out your district, you turned to see the male tribute from District 1 raising a trident at you, one exactly like Finnick’s. “You. I’m going to kill you!”

After that, you ran. You could hear him laughing with other Career Tributes, and it distracted you from looking down and losing your footing. Of course, you had to be the one dumbass that falls off the side of a cliff and rolls down the whole way. You gasped, covering your face to block out dirt and gravel from getting into your eyes and mouth.

When you finally got down, you panted loudly as you looked around, frantically searching for somewhere to hide from the group of Career Tributes. You finally settled on a fallen tree, quickly crawling into the husk as they yelled out for you. “Where is she? Where is she?!”

A girl scoffs. “How the fuck would I know, huh? She’s Finnick’s little fucking girlfriend, you know she has something planned.”

“Why the fuck do you think I want to kill her first?” The District 1 male had a voice you couldn’t forget. “You think I’m an idiot? Just because she didn’t show any skills doesn’t mean she doesn’t have any. Go, we need to find her.”

You hold your breath as you hear them split up, recognizing ten pairs of steps. The alliance wouldn’t last for long, especially with how quick the poisonous garden would kill everyone off. Alliances were always temporary, no matter what, especially in the games.

You stayed in the husk until all you heard was the animals of the arena. Exhaling, you slowly crawled out before making a run for it. You listened for anything signalizing water, the sound of a stream, a trickle of water, anything. It would be difficult to win against a District 4 tribute in water combat, especially when you picked up on it professionally after Finnick killed so many people with it.

When you heard it, it was like music to your ears, running in the direction to see a river leading down to a waterfall. You sigh heavily, finally sitting down to take the rope off your shoulder and throwing it next to you, unwrapping the small knives from their leather case. They were sharp, pointy, expensive - perfect for someone who could die soon so they could sell them off again later.

A loud crack makes you turn around, spinning on your knee to raise two knives from your hands in a protective state, quickly searching for anyone or anything that could’ve made the noise. Your eyes quickly find soft gray eyes, a gasp falling from his lips as he clutched the bag with a large number 3 on it, hands shaking.

You look around, slowly putting down your fists as you look at the bow slung over his shoulders. “You know how to use that bow?”

He looks at it, then nods. “Y-You know how to use those knives?”

You look down at them, nodding. “Yeah. I do.”

He slowly stepped out, closer to you as you slowly set down the knives. “I’m Y/N.”

He smiled as he slowly sat down, taking off the bow and quiver before setting it down. “I’m Code!” He starts unpacking his bag, taking out something wrapped in paper. “I got this loaf of bread…” he says, slowly instigating it. “You’re from District 4?”

You look down, nodding as you start to open your bag, realizing there was no food in yours. He must’ve grabbed it. “Yeah. You’re from 3?”

He nods. “Well, can you fish?” You snorted as he smiled at you, slowly offering it to you. “If you fish for us, I’ll hunt.”

You smiled back, leaning forward and ripping off a piece. “Deal.”

Finnick paused the conversation with Katniss as you started to squirm in your sleep, soft whimpers leaving your lips as he quickly stood and walked over to you. He pressed his hand to your head, your body covered in sweat. It wasn’t too uncommon, especially because you were hot natured, but you never squirmed like this before.

“Y/N? Y/N darling, wake up.”

He jumps back when you wake up with a loud scream, hands flying to his chest as you try to push him off. His hand goes to cover your mouth, the other stroking your hair. “Y/N, quiet!” He whispers loudly, your eyes frantically looking around as he slowly pulls his hand away. “What’s wrong, darling? Bad dream?”

You nodded as silent tears slowly fell down your cheeks, shaky hands reaching up to grab his own. “It was Code, h-he was,” you gasped, Finnick leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your head. “Fin, he’s dead, he’s gone.”

He kissed at your temple, pulling you closer. “You tried, darling. You tried.”

You sobbed into his chest, pulling you closer as he kissed your head. You fixed yourself, sitting in his lap as he held you close, pressing kisses to your head before soft beeping made him look up. Two small capsules floated down, Katniss quickly catching the one that went to her and Finnick taking the one that he had gotten. He opened it, smiling when he saw a salve sent from Haymitch, opening it. “Darling? Can you look up for me?”

You sniffle, looking up as you rubbed at your eyes. He wipes at your face, getting rid of your tears before softly kissing your lips. You tilt your head back as his fingers dipped into the salve, putting a good amount onto your neck.

“Finnick! Finnick, we got water!” Peeta yelled, but your head settled on his shoulder.

“I’ll bring you back some, okay?”

You nodded as you got off, quickly leaning on the tree that he was, your throat already relieving of pain before Finnick ran over with a large last full of water. He pressed it to your lips, tilting your head back as you gulped it down.

“More? Do you need more, darling?”

“Do you mind, Finnick?” You whisper, and he nods quickly, running back to the spout as you sighed heavily. He came back a few more times, helping you drink before you leaned into his chest. “Thank you, Finnick.”

He nods, pressing a kiss to your head. “Always, darling.”

You both were falling asleep before you heard Katniss scream out, quickly getting to your feet. “Run! Run, the fog is poison!”

You grabbed Finnick’s hand, pulling him as you grabbed Peeta. “Go, go!” You pushed them, quickly running back to lift up Katniss, dragging her behind you. “You’re not fucking dying, Everdeen.”

Still, Finnick was running back to find you. “Y/N! Y/N-”

“Go! I’m right behind you!” You smiled at him as you supported Katniss. “Go!”

He nods before groaning, quickly running to you both and grabbing Katniss. He supported her on his back as he shoved you, running forward with you as you held his hand.

This was the start of the games, and by heavens names, it would be the worst of them. Even then though, you knew you were going to get Finnick out alive no matter what.

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next part will be uploaded this Wednesday! (and linked in masterlist and the link for next part) (05.24.23)

also, link to the taglist is at the top! I normally don't @ people who comment, so if you want to be included in the taglist, comment on that post!

© asterias-record-shop

[bonbonchocolates]

No Escape

Yandere Jimin x Reader

Summary: When you fell in love with the wrong person......

Warnings: yandere Jimin, toxic husband, abusive husband, manipulating, mentions of miscarriage

A/N: Again originally from my Wattpad account. I hope you like it and if you do please leave a like.

Masterlist

____________________________________________

"Hello"

There was no limit of your happiness when someone picked up the call. Finally you can be free from this prison.

"Hel-"

"How can I help you, mam?"

You occasionally kept looking back to make sure that you are safe.

"P-ple-please he-"

You kept your voice low so that your husband doesn't wakes up. After so many days of planning and plotting you finally got this chance and you are definitely not going to leave it.

"Mam, please calm down"

"Help my husband he-"

Before you could speak further the phone was snatched away from your hand. You saw your husband standing right in front of you while holding the phone on his one hand. He was glaring at you and now you know that you are in trouble.

"Mam are you there?"

You heard a feminine voice from the speaker of the phone.

"Actually my wife just saw a nightmare and she got scared and dialled the emergency number. Sorry for the disturbances."

Before the lady could speak anything, he cut off the call. Your all hopes of being free vanished and in its place fear took over you. You had no idea what he is about to do to you.

"DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME, Y/N?"

He yelled at you. You were shaking in fear. Tears already welled up in the corner of your eyes.

"I-I"

Before you could say anything you felt a stinging pain on your right cheek. Your face turned side as the impact of the slap.

"I was patient with you, Y/N. I thought you love me and will never think of leaving me but guess what I was wrong. You probably got bored of me now and want other men to f*ck you. You are such a wh*re Y/N."

He then picked you up and threw you on his shoulders and carried upstairs towards your bedroom. You kept on hitting his back but he was totally unbothered by it.

He took you to your bedroom and dropped you on the bed. You tried to get away but he was quick to grab hold of you and tied your both hands to the headboard of the bed.

"Now I'll make sure you never leave me."

He said with a smirk on his face. The tears that gathered in your eyes finally rolled down your face.

Loving him was the greatest mistake of my life.

____________________________________________

Flashback:

You and Jimin got in a relationship when he was eighteen and you were only fifteen. You were very young but you couldn't control your teenage hormones.

Anyway who could resist a boy like Jimin. He had everything. He was good looking, was good in studies, was good in sports and was sweet to everyone. He was the definition of perfection.

All your friends teased you for not having a boyfriend when they had one. There were a few boys who asked you to be their girlfriend but you rejected them because you had a huge crush on Jimin. And one day when he proposed you in front of the entire school you were in cloud nine. You immediately accepted his proposal.

You hid your relationship from your parents because firstly, they would never support you. Secondly, they were outdated and believed in love after marriage. The first three years of your relationship was the best years of your life. Jimin proved to be the perfect boyfriend. He bought you anything you laid eyes on and was there with in your happiness and sorrows.

But one day your parents announced fixing your marriage with their business partner. After hearing the news you were shocked and cried alone in your room for hours. You informed Jimin about it and he suggested you run away with him. At first you hesitated but he assured that he'll take all your responsibilities. You were so in love with him that you didn't think about anything else and ran away with him.

You both finally moved together. He kept his promise and took care of you. He paid for all of your expenses and once again proved to be the best boyfriend you ever dreamt to have. You were really happy with your life.

As days went by he became more possessive about you. He decided what you wore? With whom you talked to? Each and everything was decided by him. It was like he was controlling your life. You looved him to much to realise that.

One day he suggested you to have s*x with him. You only wanted it after marriage and denied him but he was clever enough to manipulate you and ended up giving you virginity to him. He everyday manipulated you to have s*x with him.

After sometime you finally realised that every decision of your life is taken by Jimin. You now started to think that he is controlling your life. So you decided to confess it to him but he just brushed it off saying that he is your boyfriend.

What if he is my boyfriend, he has no right to control my life.

You didn't leave him but everything got worse when you found him threatening your friends to not talk to you ever again. You both got into a huge fight and you didn't talk to him for several days. He tried to talk to you but you just ignored him.

After ignoring him for almost a month you forgave him after he apologized to you. He again became the same sweet Jimin who proposed you to be his girlfriend. You were happy once again. After few days you got to know that you are pregnant. You were too young to have a kid but still decided not to abort it. Jimin also encouraged you to keep the child.

After almost a month you both got married because Jimin wanted you both to be married before your child arrives. You were eagerly waiting for your unborn child to come to this world. But fate had decided something else for you because you had a miscarriage. It was all because of the rough s*x you both had. Jimin used to tell you that he'll be gentle but ended up being rough.

Just because of him you lost your child. You were disheartened and cried for days. Jimin was totally unbothered and when you blamed him for never caring about his unborn child. He called you pathetic for crying for someone who didn't even see the face of this world and blamed you for not taking proper care of your child.

After that he began to show his real self. He locked you in the house and never let you go out. He took away your phone and even started to force you to have s*x with him.

End of Flashback

____________________________________________

7 Month's Later:

You caressed your seven month old baby bump. After you got to know you are pregnant once again Jimin changed once again. This time he never asked you to have s*x with him during your pregnancy. You were glad for that.

Just then you saw Jimin coming and sitting beside you on the bed. He put his one hand on your baby bump and started caressing with love in eyes. He put his head on your baby bump in order to feel your baby's movement.

"Your daddy loves you baby"

He said that brought a little smile on your face. Soon your smile dropped when you saw Jimin looking directly towards you. A moment ago he was so sweet and caring and now he looks scary.

"And you, don't try to escape otherwise I sw-"

"I know"

You decided not to try to escape anymore because you know that you have zero chances of escaping without Jimin knowing. You also didn'twant anything to happen to your baby time.

You know Jimin he can go to any extent to make sure that you don't leave him. Even if he has to hurt his own child.

"Bye baby take care of mommy"

He kissed your baby bump and then kissed your forehead. He got up from the bed and was about to leave the room but stopped.

"Don't try to escape, Y/N."

He once again reminded you before he left for work. You know you are trapped here and you have no one who can help you. You literally have no escape from Jimin right now.

___________________________________________

[leune]

"If I'm not me..."

KNJ × Female OC

Part 1 & 2

Part 1

"What? Is there something on my face?"

Anrea giggled, her curly hair bouncing with her shoulders as her boyfriend got in her face and wiggled around.

Anrea pushed him away, "Stop it." She smiled.

"But you're staring at me..."

She looked down, "Why do you wear your hats like that? It looks like a chocolate chip." She snorted as she held back her laugh, blushing and covering her mouth.

The couple sat at a train station, waiting for their train, watching the other one roll by.

"Namjoonie?" He looked at her and she couldn't help but smile lovingly. "Where are we going?" She asked.

He smiled back, "Somewhere~" She rolled her eyes playfully. "We've been together for 6 years and you still can't tell me where we are celebrating our anniversary." She shoved him a little. He overreacted and flung his arms, his arms ending up around her.

She giggled some more, his chuckle joining hers as he hugged her.

Would it be wrong to say he fell in love with that sound before he even laid eyes on her?

Part 2

They finally boarded their train and got comfy in their seats that faced each other over a small table. He reached forward and grabbed her hands gently, stroking his thumbs over her knuckles. "I love you so much." She blushed, "I love you too, Namjoonie."

His head turned out the window and she got a flashback to the first time they met in person.

>>

6 years ago Anrea moved to Seoul with her father who was on a business venture.

She was sitting on a park bench, wondering where her life was going at this point.

Her father never cared what she did, she's a few months from graduation and she had enough money saved for an apartment for 4 years…

Her eyes lazily looked over the park.

To the right was a playground, tons of screaming kids running around with their annoyed parents watching.

To the left was an open field where some teenagers and adults played soccer or exercised.

And right in front of her was a-

Soccer ball to the face.

The ball landed in her lap as she held her nose. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow!" She whined, tears leaving her eyes as she kicked her legs in pain, fluttering her uniform skirt.

"OH MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY!"

Her eyes darted around to a boy running in her direction. He had a bruise on his face and tears coming out of his eyes. He tripped and fell face first into her lap, replacing the soccer ball that rolled away.

"NAMJOON AH! STOP BOTHERING THAT GIRL AND GET OUR BALL!"

"YA GET BACK IN PLACE FOR TARGET PRACTICE!"

Some boys snickered and anger bubbled in the woman's chest as she looked down at the frozen boy. "Hey." He jumped and scooted onto his knees. "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry." He bowed between each word. She giggled, still holding her nose and he looked up at her with wide eyes.

"I'm ok, kid. Stop crying."

He sighed, "On the other hand why do you let those boys bully you?" The boy's eyes widened again as he looked down to the left. "I-I'm too scrawny to fight back." She chuckled, "We'll, if they bother you anymore, you can always find me in the library. How old are you, Namjoon?"

She watched him shiver but then looked at her, "F-Fifteen." She chuckled and fluffed his hair. "I'm 17. You go to Seoul High, right?" He nodded, "Ya, then, you can come find me when you need me." She stood up and waved, "Bye Namjoon!" He huffed, "Bye Noona!" He smiled and she smiled back, his dimpled cheeks making her heart squeeze.

>>

"Noona~"

She blinked and looked up at him. "Yes?" He smiled, "You spaced out." She chuckled shyly, "Heh... Oh, I have a question." His attention went back to her from outside. "Back then, were you the one who hit me in the face with the soccer ball?"

Namjoon's neck and ears burned red almost immediately after she spoke. "I- Uh- Yeah..."

She giggled as he looked away bashfully, "I finally got the balls to kick back and I ended up hurting you." She snorted and he huffed, his grip getting loose. "I'm sorry for laughing. I'm not laughing at you, baby." His ears continued to burn red as he turned to her, that nickname being his weakness to get him to cave into anything.

"Noona?"

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering if that when we get to where we're going if we could..." She raised an eyebrow, "We could, what?" Namjoon's blush moved to his cheeks. "Y-You know.." It clicked and she smiled, "Oh! Uh, yeah. I'd like to." Namjoon's blush deepened a shade and she smiled, rubbing his fingers.

This big beefy baby.

The rest of the ride was quiet, the couple admiring the outside as they held hands over the table, Anrea's legs intertwined with his under the table.

For a couple who hasn't done anything sexual over the 6 years they've been together, besides kissing, they love PDA.

But they don't know that they're both hiding secrets.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

HERE, KITTY, KITTY (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Aizawa x Black!Catgirl!Reader

Synopsis: In which you find yourself in the weirdest predicament after you’re scooped up and taken to a cat cafe after you decide to take the streets to fight some crime, and you’re adopted by your very anti-social and hot coworker Aizawa aka Eraserhead.

Story Warnings: Smutty smut, 18+ (MINORS GET AWAY), Swearing, Adult!Reader, Ear and Tail Stroking, Light Degradation, Spanking, Exhibitionism, Multiple Positions, Creampie, Unprotected PIV Sex, Facial, Scent Play, Collaring, Deepthroat, Cunnilingus, Begging, Edgeplay, Power Play, Rope Play/Shibari, Master Kink, Some Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Some Action

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Read on AO3 here!

Other Chapters: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty-One. Twenty-Two. Twenty-Three. Twenty-Four. Twenty-Five.

*********

SIXTEEN.

The next morning, as soon as Aizawa awakens, he senses that he isn’t in his own bed or on his couch.  

He is slightly confused as to why due to the brief confusion of being asleep, but his body relaxes when the scent of your perfume in the sheets drifts to his nostrils. When his eyes finally adjust, he finds the side of your bed empty and cold, not at all warm like you just got up. 

He almost calls to you upon seeing this but stops when he hears the sound of you humming in the shower and the water hitting the tiled shower floor. He sighs, settling under the sheets. Your sheets. That he is naked under. 

Suddenly, the previous night’s events come flooding back to him: your body pressed to his on the dance floor; your soft lips finally against his; the softness of your trail and ears that his fingers caressed; the sweet taste of you that still lingers on his tongue; holding you, kissing you, feeling him against him as your hips rocked into his again and again, the heat of your gorgeous, wet pussy grinding down onto his cock. 

A dreamy smile curls onto his lips. He still can’t believe last night was real. He still almost feels like it was a dream. A wonderful, fantastic dream. Even the scent of your perfume and your sweet voice humming in the shower can’t prove to him that this is all real. That he finally has you. He has to prove this for himself. 

He rises from your bed, still naked, and follows your voice like a sailor enchanted by a siren’s song. He walks out into the living room and into the bathroom that is comprised of only a shower, a sink, and a toilet (not at all like Aizawa’s, but then again, he insisted he get a bathtub for Eri). There you are behind the shower curtain, humming to a tune as the steam from the hot water and the scent of coconut rises from the shower. 

Aizawa is quiet and quick as he slips into the shower behind you, peeling back the shower curtain to allow himself inside. It doesn’t take long for his cock, flaccid and soft, to spring to life at the sight of you. You look so damn good naked. His hungry eyes trail over your body and the water cascades off of your skin as flashbacks of last night come drifting back to him. 

Unable to contain himself, he moves closer to you and puts his hands on your hips. You shriek and drop the bottle of body wash you have in your hands as you turn around, your eyes wide with fear. “Nice voice,” he snickers, not even fazed.

Realizing it’s him and not a psycho ready to stab you with a knife, you shove at his chest. “Shouta!” you gasp, rolling your eyes. “You nearly gave me a heart attack, boy! I’m gonna have to put a bell on you.” 

Aizawa quirks an eyebrow at you, now picturing you in a nice little collar with a bell, all pretty and waiting for him naked in his bedroom. That image definitely doesn’t help his situation down below.

“Collaring? I didn’t know you had a thing for that.” He presses himself up against you, his hands still holding your hips that he has come to adore. “I thought cats hated water,” he snickers. 

You pull a face, not at all humored. “Funny,” you deadpan. “I still have to get clean, Shouta. How else am I supposed to smell good?” As you begin to wash behind your ears, he breathes in the faint scent of peach and honey nectar wafting throughout the bathroom.

“You’ve got me there,” he sighs at the pleasant scent. “You do smell amazing.” 

Chuckling to yourself, you turn back around to allow the warm water to spill over your suds-covered neck and chest. Aizawa takes advantage of this position, pressing his front up against your back, causing his naked, hardened dick to nudge your thigh. The soft gasp that exits your lips doesn’t go unnoticed. His hands move to cup your breasts as his hips begin to caress your neck, gently sucking on the skin. 

“What are you doing?” you softly moan. 

“Helping you shower,” he growls against your neck. “Unless you feel like you’re better off doin’ it yourself.” He proceeds to “wash” your naked breasts, loving the way the water and suds drip from them. They’re like the sweetest fruits to him, hanging from a tree for his consumption. And he’s starving. 

You softly moan again, your eyes fluttering closed at the feeling of him playing with your tits. “Is that a yes, kitty?” he teasingly asks. He takes his forefingers and thumbs, beginning to tweak and tug at your hardened nipples. Your wet tail curls against his thighs, making him harder.

“Sho, please,” you whimper. “Don’t you have to get Eri?” 

He shakes his head, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I texted Shinso last night tellin’ him I’d be there at 1 PM,” he murmurs. “Don’t worry about that. You just worry about cummin’ for me.” 

He gives you no choice but to listen to him when he kneels on the tiled shower floor, plants his hands on your hips to coax you to bend forward, and spreads the cheeks to your luscious ass apart. His mouth is immediately planted on your pussy, gently lapping and licking at the sensitive folds while his hands massage your wet ass. You’re so wet already. Obviously, his kisses and touches have an effect on you. He wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“God, Shouta,” you moan, and he peeks up at you. The way you stand above him with your back arched and hands pressed firmly against the shower wall is fit for a wet dream. He still can’t believe he gets to see you like this: so needy and wanton.

He wants to give you everything, and that starts with some good-ass head. He continues to lap at your pussy, tugging ever so softly at your pussy lips with his lips, sucking on them gently. He pays attention to every moan or movement you make as he swishes his tongue this way and that, growing harder by the second when you toss your ass into his face. 

When he finally inserts his tongue in the little, wet hole of your cunt, you just about shout with pleasure. “Fuck!” you whine, your voice echoing along the shower walls. He groans appreciatively into your pussy, his tongue flicking between tempos and swirling along your clit. He wants to make you cum. He wants to feel you burst all over his face. 

When your moans become more urgent and much louder than before, he knows you’re close and works his tongue a little faster against your little rosebud. “W-Wait, Sho!” you stammer. “Don’t make me cum! Please!” 

Aizawa pulls away, your wetness soaking his lips. “Why the hell not?” he asks, not hiding his impatience or irritation at your refusal for him to make you burst. You turn to face him and he sees the lust exploding in those brown eyes of yours. “Because I wanna cum around your dick,” you purr. “I wanna feel you fill me up when I do, and I want you to cum with me. Is that okay?” 

Is that okay?! Aizawa nearly nuts right there on the shower wall.

Immediately, he is popping up behind you and gripping your hips, making you giggle at his eagerness. You lift your leg up to help him slide in more easily when he lifts his cock and lines himself up perfectly with your entrance. Slowly, he sinks inside of you, emitting a moan from deep within the both of you. 

He immediately begins rocking his hips into you, back and forth, hypnotized by the way your ass bounces against him. He can’t help but touch it; massage it; squeeze it. “You can spank me if you want,” you breathlessly suggest.

He slows his hips down, surprised at your naughty suggestion. “You’d like that?” he chuckles, raising an eyebrow. You turn to look at him, a shy look in your pretty eyes that makes him want to fuck you harder. 

And when he gives you that first spank, he does so. The moan you let out when his hand connects to your wet ass is just too good to not plunge deep into your sweet little pussy that clenches so good around him. He gives you another one, causing your pussy to throb enticingly around his dick.

“You like that, don’t you?” he growls, earning a whine in response. “Naughty little kitty…gettin’ so wet over bein’ spanked.”

He gives you another swift one on your backside as he angles his hips just right and continues to fuck you, stroking your pussy walls again and again. He’s relentless. He’s merciless. He wants you to explode all over him and he won’t slow down. 

He can tell you’re about to cum when your moans grow higher and more urgent. You desperately grip his hand still planted on your ass. “S-Shouta!” you stammer. “Slow down or I’ll cum!”

But he just chuckles evilly and begins to stroke your tail in between thrusts, earning a keen from you. “Don’t hold back,” he grunts. “Come on, kitty…you can cum for me.” 

He then unhands your tail and lifts your leg up a bit for a better angle to your G-spot. He begins to pick up speed, slamming his hips against your ass again and again, plunging deeper into your pussy with every thrust. He makes matters worse for you when he reaches under and begins to rub your clit in small pulses. The cries and moans that leave your lips are a symphony of pleasure–one that coaxes him further to his own orgasm.

“Gonna cum too, baby,” he huffs. “I want you to cum with me. Make me proud, kitty!” 

“God, Shouta!” you whine loudly and give a little shudder as you finally cum all over his cock. Your clenching pussy is almost too much to handle, but Aizawa pushes through and continues to fuck your cunt until finally, his heavy balls have no choice but to empty inside of you.

“Fuck, kitty!” he growls, pressing his face into your neck as he spills his nut deep inside of your cunt. You keen and mewl as he gushes inside of you, wrapping an arm around the back of his neck to keep his close. 

He slowly lowers your leg but keeps himself inside you, loving how snug and tight you are around him. You feel like home to him. You slowly turn your head and meet his lips, giving him some soft, orgasm-sedated kisses as you indulge in the rest of the afterglow and the warm water.

Finally, after a few minutes of recovery, Aizawa slowly slips out of you and you turn off the water after washing his cum off of your thighs. 

He can’t resist having you in his arms again, so he surprises you by wrapping an arm around your waist and the other scooped underneath your legs. The cute little giggles you let out when he carries you out of the shower are like music to him. He carefully sets you down and grabs the towel you hung up on the shower wall before drying you off himself.

He starts patting your feet and legs dry before moving up to your upper torso, kissing your stomach as he does. You smile bashfully as he does so, even when he moves on to your arms and backside. He even dries your ears and tail, mostly as an excuse to touch them. 

He finds himself loving to pamper you. You’re just so small and cute. He has no choice but to make sure you’re always at ease and feeling good. When he finally finishes, he takes the towel and wraps it around his waist while you dress yourself in a robe.

“Well, that was a way to start the morning,” you giggle, moving into his arms and pressing a kiss to his neck. “But coffee always works too. You want a cup?” 

He sighs happily, already smelling the roasted coffee beans. “I thought you’d never ask.” You giggle again and go to leave the bathroom with him following after, but you put a firm hand on his chest.

“No; stay and finish dryin’ off. I know how you take your cup.” You give him a wink before you walk out of the bathroom with a sway in your hips, leaving him semi-hard and in the mood for a second morning quickie. 

To try and distract himself from the way you looked bent over for him in the shower, Aizawa walks back to the bedroom to get his clothes before returning to the bathroom. As he begins to dry himself off, taking extra time to dry off his wet locks of hair, he hears a buzz from the sink counter.

He looks toward it, finding your phone sitting there face up and charging. He looks toward the bathroom door, wondering if you’ll hear it and come running in. However, your humming and the cling and clang of pots and pans say something different. 

He knows he shouldn’t look, but he’s just curious. Who could possibly be texting you so early in the morning on a Saturday? One glance can’t hurt, right?

After doing those mental gymnastics, he takes a look down at your phone while drying off his hair, running the towel through his locks. He does not expect to see a police alert on your phone talking about a manhole that erupted downtown early this morning. 

But it isn’t a regular manhole, he realizes, as he reads the report. This is a man-made manhole. Or rather a villain-made manhole. He can tell from the language used in the report which he also notices is not written in a way for simple citizens.

This is a police report.

As he continues to stare at the screen, he realizes that the alert came from a police scanner app; one that is reserved strictly for cops to keep track of time. He had the app before but deleted it because he couldn’t figure out how to work the damn thing. 

‘Da hell?’ he thinks, utterly confused. Why do you have this on your phone? Could you be a cop on the side? Wouldn’t you have told him that? 

“I’ve got some fruit and Krusteaz in here too!” you call, the sudden sound of your voice startling him. He abruptly looks towards the door, afraid you’ll come in, but the sound of the sink running in the kitchen assures him that you’re too busy. “You in the mood for pancakes?” you ask. 

With his heart pounding vigorously, he looks back toward your phone where a text message from Nemuri pops up. “Yeah,” he calls back, still staring down at the phone screen. “That’ll be nice, thanks.” Quickly, he begins to read the first text message just as a second one pops up. 

Muri: Hey you :) how’d last night go? Can u still walk? 

Aizawa sighs disapprovingly despite his face growing hot. For the record, yes, you can walk just fine. 

Muri: You didn’t go out afterward, did u? There was apparently a break-in last night at some billionaire’s house downtown. Just wanna make sure you’re safe and not trying to save the world instead of getting some D 

Aizawa blinks in confusion at the text. Then, all at once, the realization of the truth hits him like a freight train, so fast that his head begins to spin.

He mentally travels back in time to last night, to when all he did was stare at you after you came. He noticed your eyes, sharp and feline-like; not at all like the warm, pretty brown eyes he’s used to seeing. But he’s seen those eyes before. 

And now he knows where. Because you’re Night Claw.

Putting two and two together is like finally finding a missing puzzle piece that helps him see the whole picture as clear as day. Now he knows why he felt like he knew you. Now he understands why he felt so close to Night Claw. Because it’s fucking you. And you’ve been hiding it this entire time.

‘Oh, that naughty little kitty,’ he thinks, a smirk tugging at his lips. You’re definitely going to pay for this. 

“Coffee’s done!” you call. “Come and get it!” His smirk widens and he drops the towel to the floor. He knows exactly how to get you to talk. 

Quickly, he dresses, exits the bathroom, and enters the living room, not saying a thing. You stand in the kitchen, putting a beautifully brown pancake on a stack already fixed for the two of you. How long has he been in the bathroom, he wonders?

He enters the kitchen and stands behind you, silent and waiting for the perfect opportunity to catch you off guard. “Okay, so I fucked up the first batch,” you sheepishly say, “but it’s only three! I haven’t made pancakes in a minute, but I think I’m gettin’ the hang of it again.” 

Once you put the pancake down, you begin to turn around with a sweet smile. “You want any sugar for the coffee or–” 

Before you can finish your question, Aizawa is throwing a punch your way that you instinctively catch with a shocked gasp leaving your lips. You then swipe at him, your claws now drawn, but he dodges them and catches your wrist in his hand. Realizing what just happened, you gape at him, open-mouthed and wide-eyed.

“I knew you had those claws,” he says with a smirk. “Let’s see what else you’ve got.” 

Taking his right knee, he connects it hard to your side, causing you to teeter off your feet and tumble onto the floor. You, fortunately, find your footing by hitting a squat, your hand placed firmly on the ground in front of you. He doesn’t stop long enough to admire your flexibility or your skill.

Quickly, he throws another kick your way, but you roll out of the way before standing a foot away from him in the living room. You look scared and perturbed as to what’s happening, but your balled fists blocking your face tell him you’re not backing down. 

He charges at you again and proceeds to throw every single punch he can at you. You block every single one with amazing precision and speed, possibly due to your cat-like reflexes and senses. As you do, he moves forward, pushing you farther and farther into the living room.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you demand, irate and confused. He pauses slightly in throwing you punches, giving you the opening for an attack. 

You take action, connecting your foot to his chest and sending him sprawling onto the couch. He hits the floor with a thud and a burst of pain shoots into his back. He chuckles at the move. You paid close attention to your last ‘training session’.

Placing his hands on the floor by his ears, he arches his back up and kicks his legs up, flipping back up to stand upright. You are nowhere to be found, but his eyes fix on the last place you were seen: the couch. You’re definitely hiding behind it. ‘Predictable,’ he thinks with a sigh. He’d definitely have to work on hiding places for you if you’re to fight crime. 

“Checkin’ to see if our training session had any effect on you,” he replies as he slowly begins to walk over to the couch. He takes his time like a predator stalking its prey, tapping into his senses to hear any slight movement you make. “But then again, a vigilante like you doesn’t need much training…do you, Night Claw?” 

You don’t speak. You don’t even move from your spot, even as Aizawa gets closer and closer to the couch. “I know it’s you, Y/N,” he sternly says. “You didn’t a good job hidin’ it for a while, but–” 

Before he can finish his sentence, the couch is suddenly tilting toward him and threatening to fall onto his feet. Quickly, he leaps away just as you pounce from behind the couch and kick him in the face with one bare foot. He doesn’t fall but he does falter slightly, using his hand to avoid crashing to the floor.

‘Damn,’ he thinks as pain shoots into his jaw. ‘This girl can move.’ 

Speaking of moving, you’re already scrambling towards the door in your robe, trying to make a break from it. “Oh, no, you don’t,” he grunts, shooting one arm out.

He instantly grabs the loose tie to your robe and snatches it off of you before cracking it at you like a whip. The tie instantly wraps around you, snatching you up despite your cries of protest. He proceeds to tug you back into the living room toward him, tightening your restrictions enough to stop you from fighting. 

“Should’ve known better than to try to run from me, baby,” he tuts, shaking his head disapprovingly at you.

You continue to wriggle around despite your movements being futile. “Shouta, let me out of here!” you grunt, still wriggling like a cute little worm. 

Aizawa cocks his head to the side, mockingly thinking to himself. “Hmm…nah, I think I’m gonna let you hang here for a while so you can think over your mistakes.”

Your eyes widen as you stare at him, dumbfounded. “What mistakes?” you scoff. “I didn’t do anything wrong!” 

He raises an eyebrow at you. “So lying to me about you being Night Claw isn’t a mistake?” You falter, guilt crossing your face for a brief moment until that hardened mask comes sliding back into place.

“It was none of your business to begin with,” you argue. 

But Aizawa thinks differently. “It is when I’m the main one you’re runnin’ into almost every night on the streets,” he protests, “and when we already agreed we were friends…which is now ruined because of what we did last night.” At the mention of last night, the irritation in your face softens, replaced with one of timidness. 

“So were you gonna tell me that you were Night Claw after we had sex or…?” He trails off, wanting a real answer.

You advert your eyes from him, instead staring at the wall. “I was gonna tell you eventually,” you sigh. “When I knew it was the right time.” You suddenly groan, wriggling about again. “Dammit, Shouta, let me outta here! I can’t feel my limbs!” 

“And that’s only gonna get worse if you don’t start talkin’, brat,” he growls, hands still securely tugging on your robe tie. You keep silent though you whimper and gasp at the feeling of being restricted.

Though it turns him on, he’s more concerned with the truth rather than tying you up with his scarves later and fucking you silly. “I’m gonna leave you here all day if you don’t let me know what’s going on,” he threatens. 

You gape at him, mortified. “You can’t do that!”

But Aizawa just glares at you, pining you down with a very intense and fixed look. “Try me,” he growls lowly. You hold his gaze for a long moment before you let out a defeated sigh. “How long have you been doing this?” he asks, still staring you down. 

Your brown eyes advert his once more, staring off at a wall instead of facing him. “Since I started UA,” you confess. “Nemuri knows because I accidentally snuck through her window one day and Mic managed to piece shit together. I didn’t want to tell anyone ‘cause I was scared of losing my job or getting arrested since I don’t have a license.” 

And there it all is: the truth. Laid out in the open before Aizawa to do with as he pleases. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” you weakly say. “I just didn’t want you to tell or have you look at me like I’m pathetic.” 

He feels something close to heartbreak as soon as you say that, looking so defeated and saddened. He loosens his hold on you somewhat but doesn’t release you. “Now why would I do that?” he softly asks. 

You roll your pretty, brown eyes. “C’mon, Shouta,” you scoff. “You’re a seasoned pro! How would you react if I told you right off the bat that the UA counselor is tryin’ to live out her fantasy of being a hero without a license or the hard work you put in to become a hero?” 

Aizawa stares you down for a moment, blankly. Then he decides that he won’t react too kindly. “Well, when you put it like that…” But he also wouldn’t have cost you your job. You’re too good at what you do and the kids need you. 

You continue to look completely destroyed, and it tugs at Aizawa’s heartstrings. “I wanted a chance to be more than what I was. Catgirls are always underestimated or made to feel like they’re less just because of something we can’t change. I wanted to prove everyone and myself wrong.”

You begin to sniffle and your face contorts as your eyes well with tears. “And I felt like if I had told you, you’d never talk to me ever again,” you confess, your voice strained. “I just really liked you and…I wanted a chance to get close to you.” 

Aizawa stares at you, completely taken aback by your reasons. More than anything, he feels heartbroken for you. All he wants to do is cradle you to him forever, keeping you safe from all. He also can’t believe you kept this from him just to spare your relationship with him. You like him that much? Him? 

“So now you know,” you defeatedly sigh. “I wanted to have my cake and eat it too, I guess.”

You hang your head in shame as your shoulders begin to shake, soft sobs leaving your lips. “God, I’m so stupid!” you hiss to yourself. “I’m so sorry, Shouta. If you wanna tell Nezu, go ahead; I deserve it for lying to you and everyone else.” 

Aizawa continues to wordlessly stare at you, his confusion and anger at your secrets fading. You’re absolutely broken over this and wracked with guilt. He can see in your eyes. He can feel it in your body with the way it goes limp, submitting to his trap. You are 100% honest and he adores you for that.

With a sigh, he tugs one end of the robe, causing your binds to unravel. “Well, that’s not gonna happen.”

You blink at him, shocked. “It’s not?” 

He wraps the tie back up and tosses it onto a nearby chair before placing his hands on his hips. “No. As pissed as I am for being lied to, I can understand why you didn’t say anything for fear of losing your job or going to jail. Plus, we need someone in this school to deal with these little psychos and their problems; that ain’t me.”

Just thinking about dealing with Bakugou’s anger issues more than he already does makes him shudder. 

You’re still staring at him like he isn’t being serious or like you can’t trust him. “So…you’re not gonna say anything?” you timidly ask. 

“Only on one condition,” he firmly states. You button your lip, eagerly nodding. “I wanna help you train,” he says, earning a confused scowl in response. That definitely wasn’t what you were expecting.

“If you’re going to fight crime, you need to do it right and have some good techniques. Though you’ve got a good connection to your cat senses and reflexes, there may come a time when you need to rely on your skill and not your quirk.” 

You slowly nod, taking in his critical advice. It’s adorable. “And another thing.” He moves closer to you and takes your hands into his, squeezing them firmly. “You promise me you’ll be careful. I may not be able to be out there with you on some nights ‘cause of Eri or whatever, so I need to trust that you know what you’re doing out there.” 

You pout your soft, kissable lips at him, obviously not liking the idea of training. “But–” 

“No buts,” he sternly says, taking a firm hold of your chin. “And don’t be prideful either. You’re talkin’ to a seasoned professional here.”

Your gaze softens, a hint of lust filling your pretty eyes. “You’re so bossy,” you giggle, placing your hands on his chest, and feeling him up. It makes him grow hot in his clothes.

“Alright…but you’re lucky you look good training or else, I’d say no.” He smiles, pulling you closer to him and nuzzling his nose with yours. 

After cleaning up the living room, you two venture back into the kitchen. He leans against the counter, sipping his coffee while he watches you finish the last batch of pancakes. “So we’re good?” you softly ask him as if his conditions didn’t make that clear enough. 

He smiles adoringly at you and wraps an arm around your front as he passes by you. “I’ll let those pancakes be the judge of that,” he hums against your cheek. “Thanks for the mug.”

He gives your tail a little tug as you turn to kiss him, making him feel as if all is right with the world for once. 

An hour later after a pancake breakfast, Aizawa says his goodbyes to you and leaves your dorm with his belongings in tow.

As he begins to walk down to the elevators to pick up Eri, his phone beeps, signaling a text message from Mic. He sighs, already knowing what his friend is on for this morning. 

Mic: So you kiss her yet? 

*Read at 10:23 AM

Zawa: I’ll tell you later. 

*Read at 10:24 AM* 

Mic: YOU TOTALLY DID!!! RUMI OWES ME $10!!! 

*Read at 10:26 AM* 

Aizawa then realizes he needs new friends. 

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

i think spy doesnt like talking about his past to anyone bc its WAAAAY more traumatic than anyone assumes it is.

somettimes he gets ptsd flashbacks at random, like lets say demoman breaks a glass accidentally, spy will freeze up and go pale (thankfully the mask hides that), but hes in a pissy mood the rest of the day

he talks to medic about it somwtimes becausw they botj have trauma thats both from horrible family AND the war, having both fled their home countries.

Uh an excuse to traumatize an old man!? Hell yeah!

————————————————————

TW: ABUSE MENTIONS/NEGLECT/CHILDHOOD TRAUMA/PTSD

————————————————————

So yeah, Spy grew up in a shitty home, no doubt. He was from a poorer part of France, his father was an abusive piece of shit, and he was a weak child with no friends. His mother was the only one who he truly cared about. His mother loved him and would do anything for him. He idolized his mother, and he still does. He was thrown out of his house when he was fifteen, his father threatening to kill him if he ever came back, Spy had finally tried to stand up to him, it didn't go over well. Spy's mother begged his father to reconsider. It changed nothing. Spy only kissed his mother goodbye, promising it wasn't actually a goodbye. It was. He never saw his mother again. Also, perhaps a hot take, Spy has been abused by his past partners. Scout's mom was the only good partner he ever had.

Yeah, he and Medic get along so well because they have similar trauma and pain. Spy has shown up at the lab in the middle of the night, having a panic attack after waking up from a nightmare or just being up working and then being hit by a flashback. Medic is more than understanding and will let him in to share a drink.

Also, I think he left Scout and Scout's mom because he was so scared of turning into his dad. He honestly loved Scout's mom and Scout more than anything. He treasured them, and leaving them was the worst decision of his life.

————————————————————

Ough, I'd write more, but I'm having a hard time with doing angst rn. Hope you like this anon.

[onewmin]

the perfume on the shelf. pt. 9 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, awkward friends to lovers (flashback), a description of a kiss, a super-overused cliché (you’ll know when you see it), profanity, slightly violent behaviour by Chan, a lot of awkwardness, Chan doesn’t seem to see that he’s the problem, typos

Author’s note: hope you enjoy the chapter!! Let me know what you think <3

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 8 | Part 10

“Come on, Yugyeom, come on!”

You screamed at the top of your lungs, wind roughly hitting your face as you were pedaling your bicycle at a crazy speed. The clouds abruptly turned dark grey, making the two of you ending the picnic on the meadow and ride your bikes back to your respective country houses. A short summer weekend to the country that your parents had organized was supposed to be all outdoors, hanging out under the sun experience; however, the weather had other plans for all of you.

Your mom was calling you non-stop, demanding the two of you you came back home before the rain started. Yugyeom’s parents weren’t that concerned, having texted him to get back home safely only. Yours, on the flip side, your mom especially, had already scolded you about you getting soaked and getting sick before the rain actually started. So that’s why, Yugyeom and his slow bike pedaling made your blood boil. You were not supposed to get even more berated at because your friend was super sluggish!

You hit the brakes as soon as you saw the cottages on the hill. It would only take around fifteen minutes to get back home, so you really needed to rush even harder.

“We really need to speed up-“, as you turned around, saying the words, there was no Yugyeom. He was far away, standing on the side of the road, taking pictures of the thunderclouds on his phone.

“Are you kidding me?” You hissed as you hopped on the bike again to aggressively ride to where he was standing. In that moment the fact that you went on that picnic was to create a super romantic atmosphere to finally confess your feelings to him — the feelings you, what seemed, had been carrying in your heart since you were eleven — this fact had completely escaped your head. The only thought circling around inside your brain was how much you wanted that idiot to be scolded by your parents for being irresponsible and having his head so far up his ass-

“What the hell are you doing?” You jumped off your bike, leaving it on the ground on that empty country road the two of you had chosen for your rides when you were ten. “It’s goin’ to rain soon, we have to get back home!”

“Look how beautiful it is”. He pointed somewhere, but you didn’t pay attention; you were looking at him watching the sky. Yeah, he was extremely pretty, you’d noticed it a long time ago. And while he was gawking at the grey clouds, you were examining the moles on his face — especially the one under his eye. You felt that absorbing urge to pepper kisses all over his stupid handsome face, but gulped and turned to follow his directions instead.

The sky was painted in dark colors as the bluish and grayish shades were mixed, clouds turning purple, when they unhurriedly moved to the two of you. You’d never seen a view like that; mesmerized as you were, you couldn’t take your eyes off the sky.

“It’s really pretty”, you breathed out, eyes glued to incredible scenery. In front of you was another meadow, and the green grass looked almost grey under the darkly-colored sky.

“Y’know what else is pretty?” You heard Yugyeom saying quietly.

“What?”

“You”. His voice came out as a whisper, but you heard him; turning your head to look at him, your hand immediately reached to your neck to start scratching it nervously.

“Wh-what?” You stammered.

“You”. Yugyeom never stammered as much as you did. “You’re so pretty, I-I-”. Oh shit, did he stutter? Holy crap. “I just can’t think of anything else, you’re always on my mind”. He paused to take a deep breath.

Did your everlasting crush just confessed his feeling to you? Wha-a-a-t? “I only, uh”, he scratched the back of his head, still looking at you, “I was waiting for the right moment to kiss you today”. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Maybe…” You uttered, fingers tugging at your earlobe. “Maybe you could do it now…” You turned away, having no ability to bear looking at him. You were chewing on your bottom lip, eyes fixated on the clouds while the sky was playing its thunderous symphony.

In a swift moment your hands were in his as Yugyeom interlocked your fingers. Your heart was drumming inside of your chest the same way the thunder was blasting its favourite song. And Yugyeom, ever so stoic and never nervous, blabbered about his sweaty palms and how it was supposed to make you uncomfortable. What an idiot.

You smiled. Never in a million years you’d think Kim Yugyeom, the dream of half of the girls in your year, would awkwardly mumble in front of you, his childhood friend.

He unlocked your fingers, his hands hesitantly landing on your shoulders. “I don’t really… I don’t know how to it”.

“Me neither”.

His eyebrows rose and he glanced at you as if you’d told him you were secretly a royalty. “You… don’t?”

You lifted an eyebrow. “How would I know?”

“Well, uh…” He gulped. “You… I’ve never thought… I thought… Oh god”, he sighed, “whatever”.

With that being said, he cupped your checks, leaning in close. Warmth blossomed inside your chest as roses in the garden did every spring. Your lips brushed together, tentatively, as you felt his hot breath on your face. Yugyeom’s eyes were already closed, and you squeeze shut yours. The smell of his almond shampoo was dizzying, and you tugged on his arms, just to keep yourself from falling. His lips were warm, almost pillowy against yours, so soft you could drown in that mere touch. Yugyeom’s bottom lip was caught in between yours, and you finally responded to a kiss, timidly repeating his movements to taste the strawberry flavour of the chapstick he had applied earlier.

It was too sloppy and open-mouthed for your liking now, but for the eighteen year old you that was a perfect first kiss.

The drops of rain hit your head abruptly, adding more water in your already wet kiss. And as the two of you pulled away simultaneously, your eyes opened only to see him breathing heavily, his eyes still closed. The rain had wetted his hair quickly, and his face was glistening under the grey sunset. And when he finally opened his eyes to look at you…

The both of you grinned at each other. Yugyeom ran his hands through your damp hair and smiled again. “I liked kissing you more than I imagined I would”.

You bit your lip. “I didn’t think you, uh… I didn’t think you noticed me in… In this way”.

He sighed. Having brushed off the strand of hair behind your ear, Yugyeom quickly pecked your forehead. “I notice you. All the time”.

A smile stretched across your lips as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, tiptoeing, to brush your nose over his. To say your heart was ready to jump out of your chest would have been an understatement.

If eighteen year old you only had known that saying goodbye to him would be like a repetitive torture made by thousand cuts from sharp daggers, she would have beaten you up for moving on from him in the first place. But now, looking at him eight years later, you could still catch a glimpse of that boy you fell in love with, however… He was different. Yugyeom radiated confidence even more than he used to, being able to withhold conversation with everybody in the room; only his smile was a bit more simper than you remembered it to be.

“So?” Eunjoo showed up in front of you as if she hadn’t done anything weird several minutes ago.

“You totally failed as a matchmaker, Eunjoo”, you sipped on the drink in your hands. “I’m honestly embarrassed for you”.

She smacked your shoulder angrily. “I can’t stand you”. She crossed her arms at the chest and huffed. “How long are you going to cry over Chan? Your entire life?”

“It’s been only two months”. You reasoned. “Or, was I supposed to move on immediately after we broke up?”

“Not immediately”, she agreed, “but…”

“But what?”

“You’re not supposed to suffer forever”.

“Eunjoo”, you put your hand on her shoulder, “it’s been two months. Let me suffer through it”.

She sighed, but nodded. “So…” She continued. “It didn’t go well with Yugyeom then?”

You let out a deep breath, hands covering your entire face. “You’re unbearable”, you mumbled. “Can we, please”, you looked at her again, “talk ‘bout somethin’ besides my ex-boyfriends?”

Eunjoo lifted her hands. “Alright. But just so you know”, she took you by the arm, “I’m just trying to lift you up”.

“This is your strategy, not mine”, you said, as the two of you were walking towards the tables. “Y’know, running back to an ex after a tough break up”.

She smacked your shoulder again. “Ouch!”

“Shut up”, she hissed. “My strategy worked”.

“For who? For you piece of shit ex? Or for Jeong, who didn’t even care?”

She said your name through gritted teeth, what was a total contrast with a smile she was faking. “One more word”, Eunjoo almost spat, “and I will kill you”.

You huffed, but didn’t respond — sometimes Eunjoo was too serious to take her threats lightly. Besides, you were enjoying this fun bickering with her in the last couple of weeks.

As you were seated to finally have a meal, your eyes couldn’t help but wander to where Yugyeom was sitting; to you, it was this soft golden light around him, making him look even more angelic than you remembered. Once, when Chan asked what was so special about Yugyeom, you even thought that you made him up, that you romanticized your first love too much for it to be actually the way you remembered. But you didn’t. Yugyeom was real, and his love, as free as running through the meadow on a sunny day, just to have the wind gently hug you with every step you took, — his love was the realest thing in your life.

Loving Chan had never felt as gratuitous; it was always filled with your tears, everlasting chest ache for someone who could never be yours as much as you were his. As a matter of fact, you even felt a bit happier it was all over now.

You didn’t have to pretend around him anymore, you didn’t have to hide your feelings, to suppress them to the point where you almost became numb. Your heart was broken; almost every night you were going to bed and overthinking every little thing you did. The tears you showed only to your cat felt harder than rain, however, they weren’t draining anymore — they were liberating.

Yugyeom raised an eyebrow, noticing your fixated gaze on him; you slightly nodded and turned away, feeling the embarrassment creep up your cheeks. Hopefully, he wouldn’t think too much of it — otherwise, it would be too difficult to explain what you’d been thinking about.

Your mind always came back to Chan, no matter how hard you tried to mute even the slightest memory of him, your mind conjured up every shared moment with him possible. However, what’s more important was the other point that bothered you: was Chan thinking about you as much as your thoughts were wrapped around his silhouette in your life? Was he also crying himself to sleep throughout these months, listening to the midnight radio program just to rock himself to sleep? Was he obsessing over every little detail of your relationship during his therapy sessions?

Of course, he wasn’t. He resisted therapy while being with you, so he wouldn’t be a dedicated patient now either. Probably he was too engrossed in his own thing, writing music and doing whatever assholes do. Incidentally, Minho tried to tell you something about Chan, but you refused to listen; you were glad, truly glad they were slowly building up their friendship once again, but you didn’t want to know Chan’s whereabouts. When your previous boyfriend broke up with you, scrolling through his social media hundredth of times a day didn’t really contribute to your healing — quite on the contrary.

Your thoughts were flowing through your head concurrently with giving toasts and people declaring their love to Youngjae, his loud laughs at whatever joke made and Eunjoo’s so-called ‘discrete’ texting under the table. No matter how much your never ending thinking consumed you, no little detail ever left your vision.

A couple of hours had passed before Youngjae started persuading everyone to continue his birthday party at a karaoke bar. He was rather tipsy to make good decisions, nevertheless, everyone agreed to it. Everyone, except for your best friend.

“Are you kiddin’ me?” You took her by the arm as she led the two of you to the exit. The other guests followed shortly after.

“What?”

“You’re leaving Youngjae’s birthday party to go and hang out with Minho?” You couldn’t believe your ears! Always well-composed and strict, now Eunjoo was being like that? What’s next? She’d start using contractions in her speech all the time?

“It’s not like that”, she responded quietly, “I’ve had a horrible headache for the whole day, you know it”. You nodded frantically; she was texting you all day, complaining that her migraines seemed to be back again. But it wasn’t a reasonable excuse for…. For this whole Lee Know thing. “Minho’s just… Offered me a ride home”.

“Really?” You raised an eyebrow. “You could’ve asked me”.

“You’re drunk”.

You stopped abruptly. “No”, she looked at you in disbelief, “I didn’t have a drop of alcohol tonight. Even if I was drunk”, she took you by the arm, “you could still ask for a ride. Just, y’know, to be polite.

As the two of you stopped at the parking lot, waiting for Eunjoo’s ‘ride’, Youngjae and Yugyeom — of course — had caught up with you.

“You sure you don’t wanna go?” Youngjae held his cousin by the shoulders as she shook her head.

“My head will explode if I do, Youngjae”. He nodded to her words, also knowing about her history with migraines. And as they engaged in the conversation, you and Yugyeom awkwardly stood next to each other.

“Are you comin’?” His question was the first one to cut through the silence. And you glanced over at him to see he was looking back at you.

You shrugged your shoulders. “Yeah, I guess”.

“Cool”. He nodded. Some more seconds passed in silence. “You’re also callin’ a cab?”

You shook your head. “No, I’m drivin’ there myself”.

“Cool”. He nodded again. Oh dear lord, it had never been this awkward when you were teenagers.

“How’s your job?” Yeah, no matter how uncomfortable it was, you still had this urge to speak to him. You really had no idea where it was coming from.

“It’s good”, he replied, hands in the pockets of his pants. The way he was stepping from heel to toe, looking like an absolute idiot, reminded you of the same circumstances many years ago, when Yugyeom, doing the same thing as of now, confessed his love to you in the park alley. A sunny day as the two of you were walking from school to your respective tutors, sweaty palms interwoven. Life was so much easier back then.

“I like it much more than my previous one”, Yugyeom continued, “the, uh, position is better”.

“And the money?”

He let out a breathy chuckle at your shameless comment. “Always the materialistic”. You huffed. “Yeah, the money’s better too. Can afford not having a bunch of roommates now”.

“Cool”. You responded with a small smile.

“What about your job?”

“There’s nothing about it”, you looked at him, “it’s boring. Drains the life out of you”.

Yugyeom rubbed the back of his neck. “I, uh, was surprised to find out you weren’t working… Somewhere as a writer”.

You snorted at his comment. “Yeah, it was out of the question since the publishing agency rejected me”.

“How many?”

“What?”

“How many publishers rejected you?”

Ouch. Yugyeom definitely knew what wound he should get bleeding again with the right pressure. He knew you too well, even after all these years, to realize that you didn’t pursue your dream with enough ferocity. Like you should have.

You were silent for a moment, but still uttered an answer, even though Yugyeom already knew what your next words were going to be. “One”.

He took a deep breath and let out a loud exhale. “Why didn’t you move onto the next agency?”

A hard question like this required a simple answer, but the reply was even more fucked up. Two years after your graduation you were working as a secretary at a publishing agency, had just gotten on a hook of a emotionally abusive relationship and, at last, your heart was actively aching from the breakup with Yugyeom himself. You never told him, but one of his last visits to Seoul, when the two of you spent the night together for the last time, was right the day before your meeting with your boss about the book you were going to present to him. Needless to say, the rejection and Yugyeom leaving again made you feel absolutely devastated. Being shaken to the core as it was too much for you to handle another criticism and rejection, you shut down the chase completely. You were not going make it as a writer, and you were the one person responsible for ruining that dream of yours.

But explaining all this to Yugyeom was a waste of time — or, as usual, you had projected that idea onto him yourself.

“I’m givin’ up easily”, you simply said, “you know that”.

Yugyeom shook his head, not really taking your answer as an absolute truth. Yes, you had a tendency to give up whenever it was getting too difficult, but this time he couldn’t believe it was that easy. “That’s not it. But”, he ran his hands through his locks, “it’s not my place to give you a lecture”, like I used to, he almost added.

“Like you used to?”

His eyes went wide for a moment as you pointed out the exact thought running through his head. “C’mon, Yugyeom”, your speech pursued, “it’s not like we can’t laugh while talking about… past”.

“We sure can”, he let out a chuckle, looking you up and down unwittingly. Nothing had drawn his attention, until… Until his eyes caught the glint of gold on your neck. A familiar stinging pang in his chest came back as if it had never left, making his steady heartbeat turned into erratic. Having his breath hitched somewhere in his lungs, Yugyeom cleared his throat and looked away for a moment to come back to his senses. It’s just a necklace, it doesn’t mean anything. It certainly doesn’t mean she also… No, it doesn’t make sense. It’s just an accessory, not… Not something important.

“Nice necklace, by the way”, he noticed.

You smiled and adjusted the chain on your neck. “Thanks. It’s a gift from an old friend”.

The inner skeptic Yugyeom had to deal with his entire life was baffled at that; a gift from an old friend? Alright then, maybe there’s a slight chance she also hoped for the two of you to get back together. He’ll see.

“What?”

Chan shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in his chair. “I think it’s a good idea”.

Jisung let out a deep sigh, putting his hands on his hips. He shook his head. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah”.

Han plopped on the couch oppositely him and rubbed his eyes. The last three months were a nightmare to him, starting with the accident and ending with Chan informing him about his supposed departure. “Why did I agree to manage him in the first place?”

“Didn’t you even consider to discuss it with me first? Before you made any decisions”.

Chan took a deep breath. “I don’t see the point”.

This… fucking guy. “Is it.. is it because of-“

Chris slammed his hand on the table as he jumped from his seat. “No!” He close his eyes for a moment to take a deep breath again. “No”, he continued in a more calm manner, “it’s not about that. My life doesn’t revolve around her, just so you know, Jisung”.

Huh? It’s not what it looked like for the past bajillion of years. “Then what is it?”

“An opportunity of professional growth, if you will”. Chan crossed his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling. “Felix persuaded me to come and work with him”.

“Can’t he come here?”

“Han”, Chris stretched his arms and sat back on the chair, “I need this. Besides, I haven’t been in Melbourne for, like, forever. It’s my hometown, after all”.

Jisung let out a deep sigh. “I get it, Chan”. He pinched the bridge of his nose and, smacking his thighs with the palms of his hands, stood up. “I’ll walk the executives through it, but it’s highly likely they demand two comebacks a year, at the very least. Doesn’t matter where you live”.

Chan nodded. “I understand. Me and Felix will work on that”.

“And I’m comin’ with you”, Jisung added when he was already at the door, “don’t want another manager get this”, he pointed at Chan, “huge money machine to themselves”.

Chris laughed; Han was more than a manager — he was his friend. However, to admit to any soft feelings towards each other would be a straight violation of ‘tough male persona’ they both used around one another.

As Jisung left, Chan was alone again, his phone in his hands immediately. The past month went on as a never-ending festival, while Chan was wasting his money on partying and alcohol, just to avoid thinking about the elephant in the room. A new girl every night, him not remembering their faces, but only dreaming of her all the time. If he kept his eyes closed while kissing them, fucking them, falling asleep beside them, they all looked just like her. Never had Chan ever experienced something of the sort; none of his ex-girlfriends had left such a huge hole in his heart. No one but you.

It would be an understatement to say Chan jumped at the opportunity to leave the country. Felix had been his long-time friend from the early trainee years, before he left and went to university, and Felix came back to Melbourne. Not only would he see his friend, but he would escape this city, where, no matter how many people were living, in every face on every street he would see you. The city screamed your name through the wind, flowery scents and lattes with banana syrup that was served in every freaking coffee shop in every freaking corner of this ridiculously large city. Chan hated the mere reminder of you, but he always ended up clinging to that small recollection of every little thing about you.

Because suffering in silence while thinking of you was easier than apologizing. Chris couldn’t admit his fault, still; to him, you should’ve been the first one to say sorry. He had already done enough, dedicated so much of his time to you, just to love you in silence, to go through your endless toxic boyfriends, to calm you down after Yugyeom broke your heart, to listen to you constantly just for him to turn out to be the bad guy in the end? Nope. Chris was not going to come crawling back to you, begging you to forgive him and taking back every word he said, even though he desperately wanted to.

Not to mention that he couldn’t monitor your social media, ‘cause you blocked him. After all these years and the friendship the two of your shared, that’s what you did? Blocked him?

So, he took it personally and blocked you too. However, it didn’t stop him from collecting the crumbs of your from anywhere he could. And the best place to do so was Eunjoo’s account. That was what Chris was going to do now as well.

Eunjoo didn’t post much, let alone something truly personal. She’d have flowers, her dog, her family occasionally, you a couple of times — and that was it-

“Oh”, Chris almost gasped. From what he had collected about your best friend was that she wasn’t an active user of social platforms, but she had just posted something after almost six months of nothing.

The first picture was her and her cousin, Choi Youngjae, the radio host Chan had encountered multiple times; the second picture… He noticed you almost immediately.

“She got a haircut?” He mumbled, zooming in the photo. Yup, looked like you did; Chan almost moaned at the thought of running his hands through the strands of your hair. Had he not treated you as shitty as he did, perhaps, that’s what he would be doing at the moment.

And Chan would’ve locked his phone and continue his everlasting pining if he had not seen one thing, one person specifically. On the opposite side of the picture, separated by around seven people, was Yugyeom. He was there too. The two of you were in the same room, at the same party, around the same people, and probably talked to each other. And what’s worse, you were wearing that damn necklace.

In a swift moment Chan violently threw his phone at the nearest wall, which almost immediately ended up in him running to pick up the mobile from the floor. The screen was broken to pieces, but, somehow, the poor phone was still running. And through the dozens of cracks Chan was still looking at that photo, when you were smiling in the same picture with your ultimate ex, being happy without Chris. He didn’t really consider you weren’t truly happy, as well as it never went through his head that you were suffering just as much, no; the only thing that was banging in his head like an annoying beat was you and Yugyeom in the same room.

How fast did you move on, huh?

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf @tenshimara @whyyougottadothatbro

Fic masterlist <3

[penig]

Nobly, heroically, and willingly, shall I die for my fandom upon this hill:

When they're both thinking straight, Crowley and Aziraphale communicate flawlessly.

In Season 1, except when Aziraphale was deliberately withholding information at the bandstand, or panicking about the holy water, they understood each other very well. No cross-purpose winks, all their exactlies in line, Aziraphale’s lies and accusations of demonic Evil more ritual than anything else. They didn't disagree very often, though they pretended to, and except in two crucial scenes, when they disagreed,  they did not misunderstand.

They were talking in code - an allusion code - Old Friend Code, Married People Code. Pointy Eared Hobgoblin Code!

The flashback sequence of "Hard Times" gave us the key to that code. Once you realize that "Let's do the Ritz" = "If we're doing it we have to do it now, time is running out" everything they say to each other sounds different, including Aziraphale's friendship denials. S2 gave us the origins of more codes ("I lied. I'm a demon. That's what I do." Oh, so when Aziraphale said that in response to "Would I lie to you?" he was lightening in the mood! That's a running joke!) and also reinforced the codespeak by showing it hitting a road bump when Nina asks Aziraphale, in front of Crowley, about the naked guy. Aziraphale wants, desperately, to deny friendship with Gabriel, but he can't say "he's not my friend" in front of Crowley. With Crowley in the room, "he's not my friend" means "we go back a looooong way," and a moment later he says that, in the clear, unambiguously, about Crowley - but he is not saying that about Gabriel (to Crowley) and it is very much not true about Jim, who is the darkest of dark horses.

I know the fandom is very much against me and has always taken delight in how bad they are about communicating, etc., but I have textual evidence enough to defy the overwhelming consensus on this point. I think it was there in the book, and it’s there in the first series, and it falls apart in the second series as a deliberate authorial choice. I could be wrong, but I am willing to stand here in my wrongness and be wrong, if I am.

Because their old method of communication was built for spies communicating with each other under surveillance,  it doesn’t work for two people on Our Own Side. Aziraphale is willing to let go of it. He wants to let go of it – the direct requests, the physical contact, "our car," "our bookshop," saying the meaning of "we're not friends" in the clear, all the reaching out he does show that. But Crowley won’t, or he can’t. He doesn’t let go of always being the one to come to the rescue, he doesn’t move into the bookshop, he’s not comfortable with direct requests, he doesn’t move forward, he doesn't listen to Aziraphale, and therefore, they lose their ability to communicate. Aziraphale, unable to make honesty work, falls back on manipulation. On transactions: I let you into the bookshop, so you have to let me into the Bentley. On scenario building: it’s a ball, dance with me. Tactic after tactic, try after try, to get Crowley to hear what he's saying. And that, more than anything, sets up the Final Fifteen.

I find myself glomming onto this reading, and there’s no getting around the fact that it’s partly because of a lifetime of being the Only Honest Person in the Room. It is nearly impossible to communicate with people who won't meet you halfway, and I have always had to contend with that, with saying exactly what I mean in plain language only to have people respond to something entirely different. Until and unless I can convince somebody to engage with my actual words, until I can stop withholding truths that I know the other person will throw in my teeth, I can never get what I need out of conversation, can never say the Right Thing. That is exactly the problem Aziraphale is having, and I feel it, nauseatingly, in my bones.

The big question is, why does Crowley not hear him? We don't know can't from won't - all we can see is doesn't. He doesn't tell Aziraphale things Aziraphale needs to know - doesn't trust the person he's always relied on with information - chooses protection over partnership, doesn't listen to him, and we don't know why.

I wish we had seen an explanation for why Crowley isn’t living in the bookshop. I think it’s tolerably obvious that Aziraphale welcomed him there and Crowley refused, or didn’t notice, or tried it and couldn’t take – something; the dust, the clutter, the neighbors wandering in and out, the terrifying sensation of getting what he wanted and having to decide what that actually means, I don’t know, and it’s important.

But we didn’t see that and people accustomed to blaming Aziraphale find it equally obvious that Crowley asked and was told no, or is waiting for an invitation that hasn’t been extended. I think we really need to know this in order to understand where they are in E1 and how they wind up in the total breakdown of communication they have at the Final Fifteen.

[linkspooky]

TITANS #1: OUT OF THE SHADOWS, THOUGHTS. 

I’m evolving from a manga blogger to my final form a comic book blogger. If you know anything about me, you know Teen Titans is my favorite thing ever, so after neglecting the Teen Titans and pushing them to the side for years DC’s push to finally put the Teen Titans in the spotlight has me really excited. So I’ll be trying to write up my monthly thoughts for each new issue as long as the comic is running!

Happy comic book Tuesday everyone! My thoughts on the first issue below!

First and foremost, after two successive reboots the newest run of Titans has returned to the original New Teen Titans lineup, Nightwing, Donna, Starfire,  Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy, with Wally as a member at least on rotation. 

How much of the old continuity is back has yet to be seen, but considering Roy and Lian are back in the Green Arrow comics, they mention that Garth, Donna and Dick are founding members of the original Titans Team I am going to assume they’re bringing back old continuity. 

From what I can tell, Infinite Frontier did a sort of soft reset of both of the New 52, and Rebirth Teen Titans series, and our current team is continuing on from what was probably a few years after the events in (2003). 

I base this off the fact that the newest Young Justice comics also mention the fact that Tim, Connor, Bart and Cassie all were on the Teen Titans at one point before they went back and reformed Young Justice, so graduation day still happened. 

The fact that Beast Boy and Raven are dating too is something that indicates we’re continuing from the events of (2003), because them officially getting back together is the last thing they did on panel before the reboot hit. 

The New Cyborg comic that came out today as well also mentions that the first team he was ever on was the Teen Titans, with a flashback that looked like the 80s lineup.

Anyway, I went out of my way to establish what continuity I think we are working with, because since we’re back at the New Teen Titans lineup, there’s a lot of interesting parallels in this first issue. 

1. Garfield Logan / Beast Boy

A pretty commonly overlooked fact about Beast Boy is that he suffers from  C-PTSD, and depression. He’s basically been orphaned twice. This was especially prevalent in the start of New Teen Titans, because when the Doom Patrol had just recently died when Garfield joined the team. 

Garfield’s mental illness is more disguised because unlike other comic book characters that tend to lash out a lot more (like say, no one is ever going to argue about the fact that Jason Todd has c-ptsd it’s pretty hard to miss there), Garfield instead spends most of his time playing off his trauma like it’s nothing to him. 

That’s not to say Garfield doesn’t lash out, he has multiple times. He’s tried to kill Slade Wilson, he nearly killed Madame Rogue (and then she died anyway). However, Garfield tends to spend a lot of time trying to hide his symptoms, so he can come off as a friendly, safe, reliable person to be around. 

Which is what makes Garfield so unique of a character to me, his unaddressed trauma manifests in subtle ways. Beast Boy’s immature, and kind of an eternal child because he doesn’t want to grow past his trauma since that would require facing it. He’s also like, compared to Dick Grayson who is a well-oiled machine who is THE LEADER, the HERO, a lot more incompetent and whiny. Which is because they have similiar traumas that manifest in different ways, Dick’s trauma makes him overwork himself to death trying to be good at his job as a hero because that’s the one thing he does well, and Beast Boy’s trauma makes him self sabotage. 

Beast Boy’s writing is unique because his trauma stunts his growth in a way that’s really down to earth and realistic. A lot of people complain about how fifteen year old Beast Boy is constantly making women uncomfortable by hitting on them, or how his relationship with Terra is about HIS FEELINGS and not hers and therefore selfish, and yeah, both of those things are true but it’s because Beast Boy is a child who doesn’t know how to behave that’s looking for validation and in this case he’s looking for it from women in his life. 

New Teen Titans isn’t the most progressive comic in the world, but the writers were aware of the fact Beast Boy’s behavior was not alright, he gets called a chauvinist multiple times. So Garfield is capable of being immature, selfish, and he can even have some toxic attitudes and deeply repressed anger and these things are all deeply hidden under the surface, because he’s also Beast Boy and he’s Baby. 

The new Titans run has said that Beast Boy’s trauma from being shot by Slade Wilson in Dark Crisis is going to be one of the themes explored starting out in Titans, and as I’ve established above Beast Boy’s always been a sufferer of CPTSD. 

The fact that it was Slade specifically who shot him too is interesting, because Beast Boy had a pretty long running relationship with Slade in new Teen Titans (more of a relationship than he ever did with Dick, TBH). Starting with the fact that Slade nearly murdered him, Beast Boy’s relationship with Terra, all led to a point where Beast Boy tried to murder Slade out of vengeance.

Which is where I once again bring up the point that, Beast Boy’s just repressed all of his trauma he has not processed literally any of it. However, when Beast Boy tries to kill him, of all things what happens is they end up sitting down at a diner and talking things out. I have mixed opinions on this scene I definitely do not like the victim blaming of Terra that goes on, but there is something about Slade having just enough humanity to talk Beast Boy down off of a ledge. The gist of the conversation is more or less “Don’t become like me Beast Boy, I’m not a good person.” I credit Slade “I hate children, I’m glad I was never one of them” Wilson with having at least that much self-awareness. 

It’s actually a pretty nuanced take to point out that Beast Boy only wanted to murder Slade, because he wanted to vent all of the hatred and anger he was holding inside of himself because he didn’t have any way to express it, and killing Slade for those reasons would not have made him feel better. 

After that conversation, Slade and Beast Boy have a weird relationship where Beast Boy starts seeing him as more human, to the point where when Slade becomes Deathstroke again post Titans Hunt he’s really disappointed in him because he wanted to see the good in him. Which makes sense because Beast Boy has like no healthy role models for masculinity in his life, of course he’d cling to one guy who was kind of nice to him once when he was at a low point. 

So Beast Boy being shot by Slade of all people, and then rocking an eyepatch covering the same eye that Slade has missing is a neat visual parallel to Slade considering all their history. Which is interesting because Slade is an interesting foil to Beast Boy. Beast Boy has some hidden toxicity inside of him as a result of his trauma he has trouble processing, and which often causes him to act out, and Slade Wilson is toxic masculinity personified. 

Slade is also a sufferer from PTSD, he’s a vietnam vet, and evil captain america, he’s said multiple times in his series that coming back from war he basically felt nothing which is what made him adopt the Deathstroke persona. Slade’s like the worst, most toxic possible future for Beast Boy, the bad ending fromt he darkest timeline. It’s why he was the one who talked Beast Boy down from that ledge originally because Slade knew, that violence never fixed anything about him. 

In action comics 1051 they dive inside Beast Boy’s mind because post-dark crisis he’s been losing control of his transformation, and his inner world is represented by several angry animals lashing out to defend their territory, and then a little baby boy. Because Beast Boy is Baby, but like once again Beast Boy will act incredibly aggressive and violent to defend the child within himself. 

Because Beast Boy’s reaction to his trauma has always been about hiding it. Which is more or less why the child within hasn’t grown up. So considering all of his past trauma, if they’re still in continuity then you could even look at being shot by Slade as him being re-traumatized. Especially since he’s almost been killed by Slade in the past before, and it was a pretty major trauma for him at the time too. 

It seems like in this issue, Beast Boy’s way of dealing it so far has been his usual one too, which is just to you know, avoidance and passing himself off as fine. He transforms into a mouse in his sleep because Beast Boy wants to pass himself as harmless and someone its okay to be around. 

The sentiment in this first panel though, sort of reminds me of what Beast Boy said to Raven in the last issue of the 2003 Teen Titans run, about taking the good with the bad. 

Which you know if we’re really just continuing Beast Boy and Raven’s relationship from where they were in 2003, growth for Beast Boy because he’s not just seeking validation in a relationship as a way to fix himself, he’s just looking for comfort and support from his partner. 

Okay, that was the longest section of the post, but I like Beast Boy so I’m biased. Moving on!

2. Raven / Rachel Roth 

Raven’s New Teen Titans characterization, and her post revival in 2003 characterization are wildly different. This might just be me wanting her old characterization back, but I caught a couple of signs of old Raven in this first issue? The first is the way she talks, she’s not being snippy or sarcastic she’s talking in a kind of reserved, stiff and formal way. 

The second thing is she’s not throwing things around with telekinesis or participating in the fight, while everyone else was fighting we saw her doing crowd control and teleporting which is what New Teen Titans Raven did. She had two moves which was teleporting in and out of places, and calming people down. 

3. Dick Grayson / Nightwing

There’s not much character work for Dick per-se in this first issue, but the push DC is doing to have the Titans finally step up and act in the place of the new Justice League has a lot of implication for Dick’s character. 

Number one, the move to Bludhaven means that for the first time in decades being the leader of the Titans is a big priority for Dick’s character again. Basically post Dick quitting the team, and the Chuck Dixon era, Dick operated solo in Bludhaven for a long time, and even when the team reformed with Dick as a leader he was still operating solo out of the Bludhaven which I always thought didn’t make a lot of sense to split his focus like that. 

Moving the Titans Tower to Bludhaven pretty much solves that problem, it allows Dick to still have solo Nightwing things in Bludhaven, but also make being team leader a priority of his character as it ought to be. Not only does most of Dick’s character development come from separating himself from Batman and being with the Teen Titans, it’s also just Dick’s greatest strength as a character is his leadership skills so when he’s separated from the TItans he loses that aspect of his character. 

Number two, the Titans replacing the Justice League as the mai defender of worldwide threats. Which is again, another good move for Dick’s character. Dick was never going to join the justice league, he can’t be Batman because honestly he’s already better than him. If DC actually sticks to their guns here and lets the Titans actually step up it’s a pretty interesting premise. 

The Titans have handled worldwide threats before, so it’s not really a problem of whether or not they’re strong enough. The Titans in their prime weren’t really a one-city team, they flew all over the place and got into all sorts of adventures. The lack of members isn’t really a problem either, unless you’re watching Justice League unlimited, it’s usually just one core team of members with the Titans, and the Titans have a bunch of auxiliary members they can call on. However, there is one pretty big difference between the League and the Titans which would make them function differently. 

The League are Earth’s Greatest Heroes, they’re like the All-Star Team that gets handpicked from the best of the major leaguers. They don’t really have the kind of complex in-group relationships that the Titans do. The Titans on the other hand are just kind of a bunch of traumatized kids who were thrown together at one point. As a whole too, the Titans are more likely to work without the system than within it. 

So, there is an interesting conflict you could set up for Dick which is to have the Titans take on the level responsibility that the Justice League had, but with a team that functions in almost an entirely different way than the Justice League did, because they’re living together and they all grew up together. The Titans solving the Justice League level problems, but learning to do it in the Titans way. 

4. Aqualad / Garth

So, Garth’s totally been brainwashed by Brother Blood, right? 

On a more serious note, the scene with Garth is interesting because both Garth and Roy have been despite being founding members, more like sixth stringers of the Teen Titans as a whole throughout most of the Titans runs. Basically the only run where they are regular members of the team is the Titans run in the 90s. 

One of the events that caused the breakup of the original Teen Titans from the silver age is the fact that Garth was so insecure about his place on the team that he literally faked an illness so he wouldn’t have to go out on missions. 

If he’s not being brainwashed though, Tom Taylor has explored ideas of the atlanteans being a little more extreme about environmentalism before in the Injustice 2 comic. It’s a potentially interesting plot-thread considering DC recently has been taking a more sympathetic view of environmental extremists like Poison Ivy making them lean more into being anti-villains / anti-heroes. 

It could be an interesting turn for Garth, because he is a distant member of the team, and he’s also got other priorities besides being a hero on the surface. I for one, think it would be great if Garth turned into Namor, but that’s just my huge crush on Namor speaking. 

That’s pretty much all of my thoughts for now. If you enjoyed me rambling about Beast Boy, and some other nerds whatever their names were, please feel free to send me asks!

[brown-little-robin]

Story asks: for both mp100 and Jojo, 1, 5, 6, 7, 13, 14, 19, 22

YAY okay I love these asks but I'm going to split the post in half because that's a lot of writing (thank you, you Get It). mob psycho 100 first:

1: what got you into this story?

clicking on a fifteen minute YouTube video essay titled "The Philosophy of Mob Psycho 100: The Sublime" or something like that. It explained mp100 through the end of episode 5. That was the first time I got into mp100. But I gave up on episode 5 that first time. I came back several years later because of this comic about what would have happened if Mogami kidnapped Mob at a young age and reading the mp100 fanfiction that inspired it, A Breach of Trust. Both times, I got into mp100 because of something a passionate and inspired fan made!

5: do you have a favorite character? who?

Shigeo "Mob" Kageyama himself :) and other than him, Ritsu, Musashi, and Dimple!

6: do you have a LEAST favorite character? who?

(sigh) well. if I must say it... Reigen. I care about him; he's interesting and I don't hate him. But honestly, I don't personally find him that funny, and that's the main draw of his character, is the comedy!

7: how does the story compare to your initial impressions of it? has it surprised you yet? how?

oh, it surprised me VERY much. it's..... the thing with Mob Psycho 100 is that it toes the line of almost being a parody of the shounen and paranormal genre, while also taking itself very seriously when you get right down to it. The premise is silly, but the emotional beats are incredibly raw. I thought mp100 was going to be... y'know... a silly slice-of-life story about a psychic kid's life as an exploited employee of a con man, and instead it hits me with things like "no one is special, and that means that everyone has the potential to change themselves bit by bit and do good in the world, including compulsive liars and severely repressed anxious teenagers". That kind of thing.

13: tell me an out-of-context piece of worldbuilding or lore!

alskdjfslkdf okay so in the 3rd and final season, a single mammoth broccoli plant appears in Seasoning City. It's called The Divine Tree. You will cry because of the broccoli. :)

14: how likely do you think this story is to break a reader's heart?

VERY LIKELY. you will be broken down and rebuilt. It will happen over and over again, starting with episode 5 of the anime or volume 2 of the manga. You will emerge stronger.

19: pitch an idea for a sequel or spinoff novel for this story!

okay this is a little bonkers but I want to see Tome and Mezato have an adventure together. And they should drag some protesting other, less insane person into it, too. I think a Tome and Mezato and Takenaka (and oooooh maybe Inukawa as a translator) story where they meet aliens would have some SERIOUS potential. It would be SO funny. IMAGINE. Takenaka playing the exasperated straight man to Tome and Mezato's zany nonsense, but not actually minding at all; he actually likes his life to be interesting and is studying them like bugs. Tome and Mezato feeling like they have to compete to fill the "most passionate person here" role, then discovering that both of them have felt insecure about their interests. Inukawa having PTSD flashbacks to the last time he interacted with aliens, the serious side of the story which is gonna need to be handled tactfully, and Tome, Mezato, and Takenaka are not tactful people, so it's gonna go wrong. IMAGINE. (vibrating with excitement)

22: FREE SPACE: say anything you want about the story!! <3

In lieu of saying something, I'm going to share screenshots, because the art style of the anime is one of my favorite things about mp100. :]

IT'S JUST SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SHOW, MAN

[chevelleneech]

The Acolyte ep7: The Bad…

Not to act as if I know more than professional writers and show runners, but I must say… episode seven was not my favorite. For the exact reason I assumed they’d do half and half. The flashback did not hold enough shock to be dragged out for an entire ep, and should have taken up ten, maybe fifteen minutes at most.

Viewers already guessed the Jedi killed the coven, so it’s not that we needed something shockingly different, but something worth the flashback being the full runtime would have made more sense. Now, I will not pretend like I am not gagged at Sol choosing to kill Mae to save Osha just because he wanted a Padawan, and Indara killing the entire coven just to not have to kill Kelnacca. They both made extremely selfish choices, but again… it could have played out in about a dozen minutes.

They could have shown us the four Jedi on the planet scouting, shown Sol find the girls and tell Indara, then jumped to the scene when Osha reveals herself and Mae to the Jedi. Following that, their Jedi tests as quick clips so we’d see Mae tell them about the sacrifice, then skip to Osha telling Aniseya she wants. Next we’d see Torbin realize the twins were the proof of vergence and skirt off to play captain save a hoe, capped off with Korril telling Mae to stop Osha (but skip all the door smashing and Korril talking to the other witches). We’d also need to see Mae realize she started the fire and try to stop it, and after that they could have proceeded with Sol killing Aniseya which sparks the fight.

We did not need all the filler beforehand, we didn’t even need to see council saying no to the twins. A better justification for the Jedi team lying, would have actually been them acting without knowing if the council wanted the twins or not. That way once back on the ship with just Osha, Indara could tell Sol and Torbin: “The council wanted both twins, so now we must figure out what to say as to why they’re only getting one.” or “The council only wants one twin, so I guess you got what you want.”

Both to me hold more weight, because no matter what, they went in there and caused chaos and death when they didn’t have to. And the reason this episode wasn't able to carry that gravity imo, is because they took too long to tell us and didn’t end with a single drop of emotion.

The episode should have went back to present day and had Mae crying and furious. Or even better, use the fact that they just told us the twins are literally the same person in separate bodies, as a way to unblock Osha’s connection to the Force. Imagine us going into such a big reveal, knowing it was being told to Mae, only for the episode to end with Osha pulling off the helmet and being pissed, because Mae’s emotions allowed her to unknowingly tap into a shared consciousness with Osha. So now Osha knows the truth as well, since she was in a state of complete sensory deprivation when Mae found out.

Again, I’m not trying to dog on the show or act like I know better, but I don’t feel this episode hit it’s mark as well as it could have. Because at the very least, we should have seen present day Mae’s reaction so that episode eight could focus either fully on Osha finding out somehow, or on Mae getting away from Sol and hunting down Osha herself. It doesn’t make sense that we’re going to have to dedicate even a minute of ep8 to Mae’s reaction, when it is the last episode and should be reserved for chaos and calamity, the way ep5 was the fallout of ep4.

Anyway, if you read this post, please stay tuned for my positive thoughts in another. I’ll come back and link it, but yeah. I still am enjoying the show quite a lot, but this episode was not what I was hoping for. I wanted a bigger reveal or a reaction to the reveal, and we got neither. Which tells me the finale won’t be handling what it needs to handle, because we still have to wrap up Osha and Mae’s reactions, Sol and Mae likely confronting Osha and Qimir or Vernestra, Qimir’s plans for Osha, and Osha’s decision on what she’ll choose with Qimir. Too many moving parts, not enough time.

[maria-azenha]

Audition Piece:

Flashback - Porto Velho Trigger Warnings: PTSD, Drug Use, Death

Hues glance down at her phone, checking it for the millionth time, feeling the anxiety start to bubble in the middle of her chest. He wasn’t one to be late. The constant thought bombarded her mind and she didn’t dare to think at how much longer she had until she had to be on stage. It was a slow process to get back to where she once was, one that twisted on the inside no matter how many times she told herself this wasn’t her fault and to be patient. She had a support team that was there for her, and truly without them, she would have been a lost cause. 

“Sorry,” a muffled voice snaps her attention, quickly rising from her seat. “Traffic.” Maria knew he was teasing her, but she wasn’t in the mood and the annoyance was written across her features. It didn’t stop him from kissing both her cheeks. 

“Jérôme, I don’t have time.” She didn’t mean to snap at him, but the pressure and pain, there was only so much she could handle before she would break. “Do you have it?” Anxious hues glance up at him, desperate for the fix he would give her. 

His head nods, pulling out a small package full of white powder. She plucks it from his hand, the other reaching for cash in her pocket, handing it over to him. What she liked most about him, he never asked her questions. Jérôme kept this strictly business and she could trust him to keep his mouth shut about it. 

“Merci,” a smile finally forms on her lips and she returns the kisses to his cheeks before slipping into the club. If her calculations were correct, she had about fifteen minutes before the next person would show up and by that time she would be at her prime. 

Tucking away into her dressroom, a bag is tossed over the chair along with her jacket, Maria turns to shut the door and lock it. A gust of wind breezes from nowhere, slamming the door shut and the loud  noise causes Maria’s mind to snap. 

 Laughter fills the room, voices of those that matter the most to her, keep her engaged in a conversation. Her third glass of champagne nestled in her hand and the second she brings up the glass, letting the rim rest against her lips a deafening boom drowns out all sounds. Screams instantly follow and she can feel that fear and panic seep into every orifice of her body. She tries to move, to find cover, but her feet are rooted in their spot. Fearful hues quickly glance around, inaudible cries of help leaving her lips, and the next sight sends a chill deep in her bones. 

Guillaume and Jérôme rush to her oblivious of the faceless man standing behind them, raising his gun in their direction. Her voice gone and with flailing hands she tries to warn them, but the next set of boom boom, bullets hit them in the back of the head and their bodies slump to the ground. Dread ripples through her, her heart pounding against her chest and tears stream down her face, and no matter the effort she makes trying to move from her spot to get to them, she can’t. “You should remember your place.” The unknown man mumbles, everything around them vanishing out of sight, only the two of them in the dim light illuminated around them, and one last boom fills her ears. She can feel the unbearable pain in her chest before everything goes black. 

“Maria, are you in there?” A voice calls out, a hand banging on the door. 

Bang. Bang.

The sound pulls her out of her paralyzed thoughts, finding herself curled up in the fetal position on the ground, her cheeks stained with tears. 

“Yeah,” her voice quivers, calling out, “give me five.” Maria picks herself up from the floor, moving over to her vanity table. A hand reaches into her bag pulling out the bag and the credit card she keeps in the side pocket. She had grown quicker in making her lines, letting her hands work their magic, that she was leaning over in seconds, one finger pressed against a nostril and the other snorting the white powder. A powder that would give back part of her life that was taken from her, numbing the pain to allow her to continue to dance and the intrusive thoughts that invaded her consciousness. 

Her dance shoes are removed from her bag, sitting down on top of her bag on the chair to switch them over.It doesn’t take long for the drugs to take its effect, the pain vanishing and she paints on a smile to show others that she is fine by the time she leaving her dressing room, forgetting that minutes ago she was curled up on the floor. 

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

trying think of how I would fix each of the minisodes to better connect them to the final fifteen. If I were to change as little as possible, then I think the job minisode stays the same, the Edinburgh minisode gets morally tweaked, and then the 1941 minisode focuses more on how bad of a situation crowley is in. Like make it more about Aziraphale wanting to get Crowley out of an unsafe life as a demon who’s actually quite good, so in the final fifteen it makes more sense why he would think making crowley an angel would help allow crowley to be himself and do good without punishment, even tho that’s not the point for crowley, like Crowley doesnt actively want to do Good like Aziraphale does, he just IS good, so sometimes does good things. Like the ending of the Edinburgh minisode is Crowley being punished for doing good and I think we could’ve expanded on that in 1941 if 1941 had to be about their relationship instead of Aziraphale’s relationship to the Heaven-Hell system like the previous two were. Like this aspect is there, Aziraphale being worried about Crowley is there but it’s not the focus. Hard Times Intro did better at establishing the idea of Aziraphale being scared for Crowley.

oh agreed like i think the two questions for aziraphale in the final fifteen are 1. why would he want to go back to heaven? and 2. why would he think crowley would say yes to being an angel? and i think those suggested tweaks help a lot! i would also shake up the order, i think? like i get that chronological makes sense, but i think that "a companion to owls" should've come last because it's the one that's most emotionally poignant and most related to aziraphale's relationship with heaven and his fear of loneliness, but once we hit 2.06 it's a bit of a distant memory while the completely useless 2.04 flashback is there in full force. 1941 minisode also could have focused more on their fear of being caught and the stress and pain of being on opposite sides. hard times cold open my beloved come back...

- Crystal :)