#*disability

[osokasstuff]

rely on someone to meet basic needs and perform basic self-care tasks is okay and morally neutral, but can we talk about how hard it is? how vulnerable it makes you, how dependent it makes you, how tiring it is, how anxiety-producing it is, how it affects your dignity and self-esteem?

how much guilt it brings to constantly ask people to do something for you, especially something basic and presumably "simple." how little privacy you have left when you need someone to assist you with bathing, feeding (putting food from plate to mouth), dressing, moving, brushing your hair and teeth, and other tasks socially considered private and/or very basic.

even if your caretaker(s) are always nice and respectful and patient and do everything like you wish, it may still feel humiliating. and lots of caretakers are not like this, not even close.

and it's hard for you, and it's hard for caretakers, yes, even paid ones, but often our caretakers are not professional and paid workers. often, it's our loved ones. and it creates unique dynamics that are too taboo to discuss because society sees disabled lives, dependent lives as gross, and toxic positivity requires never to show complicated parts of our experiences even in disability rights activism.

depending on someone for surviving and/or daily living is normal, but it's a complicated experience with plenty of nuances, difficulties, problems, and heavy emotions.

[cy-cyborg]

This is your regular reminder that amputees are not to blame for being poorly represented in media. We deserve representation that accurately depicts our disability, and saying things like "amputees with prosthetic don't count as disability rep" is just adding to the misconception that amputees stop being disabled when we get a prosthetic. It's bad enough when that comes from abled people, but it's especially frustrating when that idea is getting pushed by other disabled people and is being given as writing advice to authors. There's a reason why "the perfect prosthetic" is considered a BAD trope. Because it's not a good reflection of actual prosthetics and amputations. The fact that the vast majority of amputee rep uses that trope doesn't mean we should stop considering amputees with prosthetics disability rep, it means we need to push for better rep that doesn't use a harmful trope.

(Btw, this is not an invitation to discuss what media does or doesn't use that trope, or what you think is a good or bad example of amputee representation)

We ARE disabled, our prosthetics aren't cures just because the media treats them as such - irl I'm less independent, less stable, less mobile and overall slower on my prosthetic legs than I am in my wheelchair, even with some of the best prosthetics available to civilians. We are still disabled, even with prosthetics and we still "count" as disability rep. If it's poorly done and uses tropes that make us seem like we're not even disabled, that just makes it poorly done rep.

[incognitopolls]

Anon is visually impaired and listens to a lot of audiobooks, but people have told them that audiobooks don't really count as "real books."

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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[2003-playground]

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

[nondivisable]

I need to say something and I need y'all to be calm

if it isn't actively bad or harmful, no representation should be called "too simple" or "too surface level"

I have a whole argument for this about the barbie movie but today I wanna talk about a show called "the babysitters club" on Netflix

(obligatory disclaimer that I watched only two episodes of this show so if it's super problematic I'm sorry) (yes. I know it's based on a book, this is about the show)

this is a silly 8+ show that my 9 year old sister is watching and it manages to tackle so many complex topics in such an easy way. basic premise is these 13 year old girls have a babysitting agency.

in one episode, a girl babysits this transfem kid. the approach is super simple, with the kid saying stuff like "oh no, those are my old boy clothes, these are my girl clothes". they have to go to the doctor and everyone is calling the kid by her dead name and using he/him and this 13 year old snaps at like a group of doctors and they all listen to her. it's pure fantasy and any person versed in trans theory would point out a bunch of mistakes.

but after watching this episode, my little sister started switching to my name instead of my dead name and intercalating he/him pronouns when talking about me.

one of the 13 years old is a diabetic and sometimes her whole personality is taken over by that. but she has this episode where she pushes herself to her limit and passes out and talks about being in a coma for a while because of not recognizing the limits of her disability.

and this allowed my 9 year old sister to understand me better when I say "I really want to play with you but right now my body physically can't do that" (I'm disabled). she has even asked me why I'm pushing myself, why I'm not using my crutches when I complain about pain.

my mom is 50 years old and watching this show with my sister. she said the episode about the diabetic girl helped her understand me and my disability better. she grew up disabled as well, but she was taught to shut up and power through.

yes, silly simple representation can annoy you if you've read thousands of pages about queer liberation or disability radical thought, but sometimes things are not for you.

[wishful-seeker]

I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.

I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.

My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."

That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

[demonboyhalo]

collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:

even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body

you don't have to brush your teeth standing up

you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering

you don't have to shower with the lights on

if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath

if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria

eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food

you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it

some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them

kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time

if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are

we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it

if you have even a dollar to spare, please consider donating to Alaikum's family.

they're a large family at only 10% of their goal to evacuate, and could use any help you can give!!

[commonzinnia]

yeah, sorry i exhibited symptoms of the disorder i told you i have. it will happen again because i have that disorder and will continue having it. hope this helps!! 🫶🫶🫶

[compassionatereminders]

The worst thing is that there is so much potential for exploring the horror of psych wards from the angle of medical abuse, ableism, forced treatment/drugging, loss of autonomy, power imbalance, demonization, dehumanization, etc, and YET the horror genre keeps defaulting to "insane asylums and psych wards are scary because there are mentally ill people in there"

[thenervebible]

CONNIE PANZARINO at a pride march in Boston circa 1990

[ID: Connie is marching along in her sip 'n' puff (SNP) wheelchair. She is wearing a patterned poncho and sporting a green felt party crown on her head. She styles a pair of wire-rimmed glasses with her slicked back hair. She is smiling. Attached to the back of her wheelchair is a large green cardboard poster that reads "Trached Dykes Eat Pussy Without Comin' Up For Air!" followed by a pink upside-down triangle with a stick figure person in a wheelchair at the centre (a symbol for disabled women)].

the cyborg & the crip by Alison Kafer

[ID: “Trached dykes eat pussy without coming up for air.” Connie Panzarino, a longtime disability activist and out lesbian, would attach this sign to her wheelchair during Pride marches in Boston in the early 1990s. Shockingly explicit, her sign refuses to cast technology as cold, distancing, or disembodied/disembodying, presenting it instead as a source and site of embodied pleasure. “Trach” is an abbreviation of tracheotomy, a medical procedure in which a breathing tube is inserted directly into the trachea, bypassing the mouth and nose. Someone with a trach, then, can, in effect, breathe through her throat, freeing her mouth for other activities (another version of this sign is “Trached dykes french kiss without coming up for air”). From a cyborgian perspective, this sign is brilliantly provocative and productive. It draws on the pervasive idea that adaptive technologies grant superior abilities,not merely replacing a lost capacity but enhancing it, yet it does so in a highly subversive way. The message here isn’t about blending in, about passing as normal or hypernormal, but about publicly announcing the viability of a queer disabled location. It’s disnormalizing, adamantly refusing compulsory heterosexuality, compulsory able bodiedness, and homonormativity. As Corbett O’Toole argues, it challenges the perceived passivity of disabled women, presenting them as actively pleasuring their partners, thereby graphically refuting stereotypes linking physical disability with nonsexuality.]

[taibhsearachd]

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEANDERTHAL CHILD WITH DOWN'S SYNDROME? Because they're all I've been thinking about when I'm sad for the past few days. Their existence makes me less sad.

[bisexualseraphim]

ADHD at night: I could write a book. I could get my Master’s Degree. I could go to the club and come home with 12 new friends. I could get a job at that club and meet the mother of my children. I could cure every disease and use my wealth to bring world peace.

ADHD during the day: Fold laundry too hard :( Come back next week

[disableddyke]