#*affectionately* fucking asshole

[chiyana]

this is the stupidest crossover possible but I want Tim to make House his doctor

yes that House

why? He needs someone who is very good, will not give up or send Tim out to a different specialist just because his medical condition is difficult, will not be overly concerned about the danger Tim puts himself in, and will lie on Tim's medical records AND to Batman/Bruce Wayne/all of the Bats without hesitation or fear.

House is and will do all of those things without hesitation. He has no shame, no boundaries, he WILL get into a public fight with Bruce Wayne if it means keeping that man out of his patient's (and House's) business. He will help Tim lie to and gaslight the rest of his family without hesitation.

in exchange, Tim is his favorite patient. Not because they get along, necessarily, Tim is a know-it-all little shit and they constantly bicker and House hates how practically every facet of Tim's existence is a lie (and Tim thinks House is a smug know-it-all jackass who is needlessly cruel and callous bc he thinks the world owes him and never delivers just bc he's in pain, news flash a lot of people are in pain and manage not to be assholes) BUT, 1, Tim brings him really interesting cases and problems, and 2, Tim NEVER lies to House about his medical conditions or what he was doing when they happened.

He lies about literally almost everything else under the sun TO everyone else, but he is 100% completely upfront and honest about his medical history and what is going on with him with House.

admittedly it takes a while for House to realize Tim ISN'T lying to him because some of the shit he says is completely insane ("the vigilante thing is pretty obvious but what do you MEAN you got the Apocalypse virus TWICE, AND SURVIVED, AS A FOURTEEN-FIFTEEN YEAR OLD")

but once he realizes Tim doesn't ever lie to him, he becomes House's favorite patient because at least TIM gives him all of the data he needs as best he's able the moment he asks. At least House doesn't have to waste his time following up on bogus information or figuring out the truth, he can just get right into the meat of the medical issue at hand.

also it's so fun to lie directly to Batman's face, know the man knows, and know he can't do anything about it

[paper-lilypie]

good morning, magma Revali be upon ye

[zorosdimples]

when you’re on your period, law’s favorite thing to do is finger you. there’s something perversely intimate about being eye level with your aching cunt; he never tires of the way you squirm under his sharp amber gaze, self-conscious about the blood that coats his precise fingertips as he strokes through your folds and circles your entrance. he splays one warm palm across your stomach while he has two fingers pressed knuckle-deep within you, A and T invisible as he scissors and rubs at the spot that makes your legs shake. he takes his time, pulling out every so often to admire the ichor that glistens on his digits, reveling in your embarrassed whimpers as he licks the metallic fluid off of his fingers. only once he has teased you enough—once he finally decides you deserve relief—will he swoop down and suck on your neglected clit until you snap. after that, he’ll use his tongue to clean up the mess you made because he’s oh so considerate.

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

My aroace ass is trying so hard to be sympathetic to Andrew Minyard’s down bad horrendous behavior but it is so so funny baby you are never going to live this shit down what do you mean you’d let him ruin your life what if he hadn’t liked you back you ridiculous bastard

[l3viat8an]

I am a faithful believer that Mephisto surely would hatefuck reader bc their friendship with diavolo, but not because he's watching over Diavolo, no nono, he's being possessive of reader

Nsfw MDNI!

Mephisto genuinely hates you.

You take up Diavolo’s time and it’s annoying. It’s definitely not jealousy that you’re spending time with Diavolo and not with him!

That’s unthinkable.

Mephisto will deny it’s jealously, even when he has you pinned to the wall in the newsroom, muttering just how much; he hates you and “How you’re always up Diavolo’s ass. It’s so fucking annoying…” like he’s any better- as he kisses and bites his way down your neck.

Tugging clothes off haphazardly and bending you over his desk, still telling you how much he hates you, how you never leave his mind.

He can’t get a moment’s peace without your damn smile, the way your damn eyes light up when you’re happy and the way you-

The way you’ve completely taken over his mind and he hates you for it.

Even when he’s fucking you, just to show you how fucking annoying you are and just how much he hates you- ofc <3 You’re the only thing in his mind, how soft your skin feels, how sweet your moans and whines sound.

Even more then all of that, he hates you and he hates that he’s enjoying this.

Watching you cum around his cock, groaning out “Fuck, I h-hate you.” and filling you with his cum…..oh and another thing Mephisto hates….is seeing you try and waste his cum when he pulls out-

[freddycartr]

underrated scene in cress:

“one more fling with your toy before he becomes levana's property? you were swooning over him an awful lot at the—

cinder punched him.

jacin stumbled against the wall, already chuckling as his hand came up to his cheekbone. did i hit a nerve, or was it a wire that time? you have plenty of both, right?

he's not a toy, and he's not her property, she said. insult either of us again and next time i'll hit you with the metal fist.”

[clegfly]

“Of course you have an Other Brother,” he says, waving off her denial as he opens some nearby cabinets. “Who else would I be if I wasn’t?”

Small WIP sketch of the Other Brother from IDKSomethingClever99’s fic “Mari in the Pink Palace”!!! OMORI and Coraline are my two biggest interests ever so this fic was like winning the lottery for me. Not to mention how good it is… please go read it ragh

[sammygender]

i firmly believe that if you write dean in your fanfiction you have to make him just the tiniest bit awful always. thats not dean otherwise. of course this goes for in canon but precanon too. i always need some thought or some bitchy little line where hes like flagrantly disregarding sam's desire for autonomy or to be treated like an actual human person. thats not dean otherwise <3 and i love him to pieces

[chococookiez]

fuck it, posting this to main

mini sebastian solace rock/metal playlist we're throwing out in public because we have a very specific brand of autism that influences absolutely fucking everything we do

[bunnieswithknives]

Spider David moment cause I was thinking about him ❤

[cringefail-clown]

The fact that no one has asked about kankri is surprising

So kankri for bingo

[xiiiwayfinders]

Who up higgin they toot

[gratielalovebot]

i just think nikolai would really like chickens

[lynxfrost13]

I promised myself that if I did a solid workout today I would post HOPR lore I’m gonna be here all night 💪😭

[pinkrabit]

Hi I saw another post basically saying "how can you stand jiang cheng" and there are literally so many reasons in my humble opinion but I'm gonna attach ss of other people reasoning why (aka I can't be bothered to rewrite it when someone else already did it right)

He was a fucking boy thrown into politics and was hurt. If he hated wwx sm and was so selfish why didn't he land the final blow to wwx. Either at the BM or on the edge???

He had multiple chances to kill wwx after reincarnation too. Mo Xuanyu's body wouldn't have been able to defend well against Jiang Cheng.

As far as just killing demonic cultivators, I'm pretty sure we lack direct characterization with that claim. It's hearsay at beat, if I remember correctly.

Yeah he was an asshole for taking anger out on other people. But it's also not like he found a random person and went "you're the current whipping boy tysm"

Some people are just assholes, I can't really defend him here.

Of course, there are reasons. Despite how flimsy wwx's status was, Jiang cheng was given an inferiority complex because of his parents comparing him to wwx. He went through a fucking war. Where he, at one point, was ready to die because he trusted wwx to take care of jyl. (Special mention of the core transfer and then wwx making the wen brat eat his own skin. That was fucked, but creative. WWX would definitely be a theatre kid)

If he was so awful, how could JL defend him so readily and earnestly?? Why would he spend so long w/o assistance to get wwx out of the cave, knowing he might have been dead???

Thank you for coming to my random tedtalk about how even though JC did some kinda shit things from wwx pov, he wasn't free to do what he wanted. (I wish I had the ao3 comment name) (sorry for not tagging the tumblr users, but you did get credit)

[randomtheidiot]

You know, I’ve been mulling it over, and most “woke-ified” redesigns of popular characters could actually be good as an AU if you think about how X character would be affected by being in Y group, as well as the effects on the story they’re in. So long as you’re not claiming to “fix” the character, it’s harmless fun and it’s a neat thought experiment. People are just too easily offended these days.