#* i just wanted a clearer photo set of these people.

[khreborns]

Akira Amano Exhibition : The Characters, selfie photocards. ( source : various mercari jp ads. )

[smuttycentre]

THE FIRST VAMPIRE pt.2 (DAMON SALVATORE)

M/n: Male reader

Word count:

Synopsis: After claiming a place to stay and Matt Donovan you take interest in the new bad boy in town. This is set in series one, episode one

Warnings: blood sucking, 3-way kissing, top!Damon, submissive!Damon, bottom!reader, unprotected sex, rimming

Author Note: This is part of a series where you are an upgraded original vampire in The Vampire Diaries. You can compel anyone and everyone including the originals, witches and hunters. The goal is to fuck everybody in this series while following the timeline of the original series and introducing new characters as they come into the show.

You woke up to the soft sound of Matt, your partner breathing deep while sleeping. Last night was a great night and it only marked the start of your journey to conquer the town of Mystic Falls.

You turned to him and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

“Sleep tight, baby” you whispered as you got up and left.

Last night was amazing but you wanted more. You craved attention, affection and desire. Your lust for men is growing and there’s only one thing to do. Claim someone new.

You walk around the town all day watching the townsmen and finding your next person to fuck. No one yet.

…

The sun set and there was still no one. You could always come back home to Matt, but you want to suprise him, give him someone for when you are away. Someone for you both to play with.

“Ahhhhh” you hear someone scream in the woods. There is a party going on so you assume it’s just a girl having fun. But then you smell blood.

A snack. You think. You zoom over to the woods and find the girl. You notice her from photos in Matts… your house. It’s Matts sister?

You crouch over her body bleeding out. “There’s another vampire in town?” You question. “Awww, what a shame. We can’t let you die, yet”

You get out your phone and call for a paramedic. While waiting there you touch your hands to her bite marks and get some of her blood on you. You then suck your fingers and enjoy the taste of her blood.

SNAP. You hear a twig snap and you get up and turn towards the source. What was once empty space was now a figure in leather. You can’t quite make out who it is.

“I thought that me and my brother were the only bloodsuckers in town.” The figure said. “We can’t let people knowing I’m here, let’s change that.”

With that, the figure picked up a piece of wood and zoomed over to you. You’ve been around thousands of years and nothing catches you off guard. He struggles to impale you in your heart but this is nothing for you, he was strong but but strong enough for you.

With him this close to you, you can see him clearer. He had smooth pale skin and shaggy dark hair. You could smell alcohol on his breath, what’s that? Bourbon.

“You’re strong” he exclaimed. You smiled, enjoying his struggle to hurt you. He will only hurt you when you allow him.

Even though this mysterious man was a vampire, you are the first vampire. An elite type of vampire. The sun does not hurt you. You can compel even the strongest of minds even witches. With this knowledge you look at him in the eyes and start to speak.

“Stop what you are doing. Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Answer each question truthfully.”

His grip on the piece of wood dropped and so did his grip on you. He stepped back a little to allow you space to move. You circled around him with him staying completely still.

“Who are you?”

“Damon Salvatore” he replied

“How many vampires are there in this town?”

“Just me and my younger brother”

“What are you doing in this town?”

“I am trying to get a vampire named Katherine out of a tomb she in trapped in. And my brother is infatuated with a student who looks just like her”

Interesting. This Damon guy is still frozen you think. And that small drop of the girls blood beside you was not enough.

You stand behind Damon and tilt his head over. You move to his ear and whisper seductively “You’re going to be mine” and then you sink your teeth into his smooth neck.

Damon moans in pain but that only makes you want to drink more. You release your fangs and wipe your mouth. You then move to the front of him and without compelling you say “drink me.”

You tilt your neck and await for his lips to press down on you. Nothing happens.

“You’re going to need your strength back. I’ve got all night. Drink from me” you order.

Reluctantly he moves his head to your neck and gets his teeth out. He then bites into your skin and starts sucking you, draining from you. You enjoy this feeling. You’re in euphoria.

After a while you break his head away from you and look at him. He is still frozen until you say. Your blood is all over his mouth and you go in close and start licking it off his face. He looks at you, not scared but slightly thrilled. This is hot.

“The paramedics will be here for your snack soon. Let’s get out of here.” You lean down to Vicky and compel her to forget everything.

…

“Where are we going?” Damon asked as he is compelled to follow you.

“Your new home” you reply with a smile.

…

“Matt” you shouted as you opened the front door. Boom-boom-boom you hear as Matt comes running down the stairs.

“Hello love” he excitedly said as he came over and kissed you.

“Hello. This is Damon Salvatore. Can he come in? I think he will be a lot of fun”

“Of course. Come in” he said. You all go into the living room and Matt offers you a drink. You accept and go for his neck.

Damon is just stood in the middle of the room. You give Matt another passionate kiss. You are so glad that he is yours.

You turn towards Damon. “I think for you. I’m not going to making you do anything that you don’t want to.” You move closer to him and say into his eyes: “You will give in to every instinct you have deep down. Lust, allure, touch.”

“You will not leave my sight” you say. Damon nods and understands.

“Do you want to fuck me?” You ask.

“No” Damon yelled.

“Well of course not, I haven’t made you want me yet.” You walk towards Matt. “Let’s show him what he’s missing baby”

Matt smiled knowing what was coming. You start making out. His warm lips pressing against you, turning you on. You take Matts top off revealing his sexy body and hard nipples.

You move down to them and start licking them. Both of you make approving noises.

“Fuck yes m/n” Matt exclaimed.

“Mmm-hmmm” you reply still sucking on his nipples.

Damon is still watching, not showing any expression. You go over to him and grabs his crotch.

“Hmm, not fully hard yet but getting there. I know you’ll want me.” You move close to his face and start kissing him. He is resisting but something tells you that he likes it.

While kissing him you gesture Matt to come over. The hot, shirtless jock came over and you started to have a 3-way kiss. There was a noise, so tiny but there. It was the moan from Damon. He was resisting less, giving in to his desires.

You moved your hands onto Damon’s chest. His muscle-fit black t-shirt was showing off his incredible muscles and pecs. Your fingers slid onto his nipples and you gave them a tug.

“Ughhh” Damon moaned and with that you took full control of the kiss. You slid your tongue into his mouth and he didn’t resist at all. You’ve won. Matt went out knowing to leave you two alone. Just you and Damon alone in the room.

You carry on kissing as Damon allowed you to unbutton his jeans. He then took them off leaving him just in his tight top and his underwear.

“Hmmm. I think we’ll leave your top on, it’s hotter.” You tell him. Your hands travel from his nipples to his now hard dick hidden underneath his black underwear.

His heart skipped a beat when you touched his goods.

“Do you want me to suck you off?” You ask.

“Yes” Damon said very quickly.

“Well, if you insist” you say as you lower down to your knees.

With his underwear still on you start kissing softly the outline of his dick. You know it is going to be a good one. After about 10 gentle kisses you finally give in and take his underwear off revealing his hard 8 inch penis. This was the biggest one you’ve ever seen. You even gasped at the size of it.

You grabbed onto his dick and slowly took the tip inside your mouth. You moved your tongue around inside your mouth making his entire tip wet.

You then decided to go deeper. You opened your mouth wider and started to go down on him. His cock tasted so good in your mouth. It was where it belonged.

Damon started thrusting his hips forward and back deeper into your throat. You started gagging as he kept going deeper and deeper inside you. He was really enjoying this and you didn’t even have to compel him to force him. You simply allowed him to be who he really was deep down.

His wet dick carried on thrusting into you until you wanted more. You stood up and asked “Do you want your dick inside my hole now?”

“Oh yes please” he said. He then leaned in for a kiss and this shocked you.

“What? Do you not want that?” He asked.

“I do. It’s just. I wasn’t expecting you to want me so much.” You say pleased.

He smiled an evil smile and and started to undress you. In a flash you were fully naked and facing each other. He turned you around and you dropped your hands onto the couch so that you were bending over and your arse was exposed.

You laughed as you just let him take over. Before you knew it Damon was leaning down and his face was in your arse crack. He started sniffing and licking all at the same time. This felt exhilarating.

Lick lick. Your arse was being devoured and you was enjoying every second.

Then for a few seconds the licking stopped. Just as you were about to turn round to see what was going on you felt his long dick enter you so smoothly and so suddenly.

You yelped out in pleasure as you tensed your hole around his dick making him moan. There was no going slowly for Damon. He was all the way in and out of you 3 times a second. He was so skilled and fast you knew he was a good choice.

After a while in that position he ejected from you and you turned around to lay on the couch. Damon followed you down and grabbed your legs as he pulled your hole towards him.

Your cheeks were spread waiting for him to re-enter you again and he happily obliged. Again you both moaned from the pleasure of each other. He lowered onto you and started to kiss again.

He carried on kissing you and exploring your mouth while he was pounding you so quickly. His raw dick inside you felt so good it brought you immense pleasure.

Faster and faster he went.

“I’m gonna cum” Damon yelled.

“Do it. Do it inside of me.” You begged.

And within a matter of seconds, Damon’s warm seed oozed inside of you. 5 full loads of white treasure explored deeper inside you. You felt each load as it shot out of Damon.

You both moaned at each load from the joy it brought you. It seemed to last an eternity. You grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him close.

“You’re mine.” You say.

“I’m yours” he replies.

“And just to make sure…” you start to compel him, “you will do everything I say. You belong to me. You are mine. Your sole purpose is to please and serve me.”

“Yes Master” he replied as he collapsed on top of you panting.

Who next you thought. Maybe that brother?

[romantichoneypie]

gimme more!

Pairing: Elenois Sverchzt X fem!reader

Warnings:18+ MDNI!,Smut,Relationship established, smooth BDSM,Dynamics of submission and dominance,sub Elenois.

You are dating Elenois. You met during photo shoots. Elenois seemed a little shyer than she really seemed, but you noticed when she started blushing at your compliments and became a little shy around you.

As time went by, you two started getting to know each other better, going out together, going to Restaurants and everything else. During parties, Elenois liked being with you by her side and the relationship only grew. You two dated almost openly. The people at the modeling agency knew about it, and some of the people who liked her as a model already suspected it.

And this only became clearer when Elenois rejected any man who flirted with her at parties. But that was nothing new because she never really cared much about the men who hit on her.

One thing that enchanted you was that she had an identical twin, Selenne. You could tell the two apart. Elenois was simply the woman you loved the most. Your relationship with her is absolutely perfect.

Today is a routine day photographing models for a magazine focused on beachwear when one of Elenois' assistants and friends comes up to you.

"(y/n) good morning, I'm sorry but Elenois is asking you to go do her photo shoot" the girl says trying to catch her breath which only makes you laugh a little.

"hm I'll go, but what brand is she photographing for? For the beachwear one?" you say calmly and then switch places with one of your teammates and start walking down the hallway with the assistant.

"it's for the La Perla brand, and you know how Elenois is...so she asked me to go" the brand in question was a lingerie and underwear brand in general, they wanted something more daring to celebrate the one year anniversary of the brand that was recently launched.

This was common. Elenois was a woman who was a little shyer than her sister and also a little quieter. While Elenois is more reserved, Selenne is much more outgoing, and sometimes when there is a situation in which she needs to wear something shorter or like lingerie, she calls you for support, to take the photos and calm her down.

"Hmm, I think this brand got confused when choosing the model," you say laughing. Elenois usually doesn't like this type of work, but as long as it pays well, she is available to do it.

"Hmm, another thing I didn't tell you: she wants only you to stay on set, and she's still dressed," the assistant says and when she gets to the door, she leaves, leaving only you there to enter through the door and then you lock it.

You let out a small sigh and then go inside the room. You see that the lighting is colored, staying in red or being able to be changed to normal light. In addition, there was a whole decoration in that room that was reminiscent of BDSM, such as ropes, blindfolds and whips too. They were investing in a BDSM collection.

In the 1950s, BDSM was just something made for pleasure and to explore fetishes and desires. It was curious that it was being used like this by the brand, probably to attract the public, both for the controversy and for curiosity.

"Hey my love, I'm here. Are you okay?" you asked and then began to adjust some equipment, already thinking about what to do.

"Hi my love, I'm finishing changing my clothes. Please wait a little." Elenois' sweet voice filled the silence of the room and you smiled at that.

"Beautiful, why don't you want a team this time?" You ask calmly, just trying to understand, considering the scenario and the fact that she doesn't want a crew, it must be quite exposed lingerie.

"Because I don't want other people to see me in lingerie like that in person and you're the person I trust the most to take the photos" she says and you feel like smiling listening to her sweet words, but you also feel that she's shy and apprehensive about the photos.

"Because of that," Elenois says and then leaves the dressing room where she was changing clothes and you hear the sound of her heels. Lifting your head, you find her wearing absolutely stunning red lingerie. It wasn't separated into two pieces, it was held together by a ring in the middle. The sides of her body at the waist didn't have anything matching and the bra had a transparency that looked perfect against her skin. You could see her nipples and a good part of her chest. She's wearing a garter belt with stockings and red heels on her feet. You can see that even her makeup is different. She's wearing red lipstick, outlined lips, red eyeshadow and her hair is only slightly curly. You noticed the collar she was wearing, it had a ring to actually attach a rope.

"Hey (y/n)! Did you hear what I said? God, don't look at me like that. I'm already embarrassed. If I had known it would be something like this, I would have just refused." Elenois says calmly and well, you just smile. You were almost drooling.

"Hmm... I just, you look absolutely divine in that lingerie, you look really beautiful, and you're not even crazy enough to turn down this job right now" you say calmly and then approach her who has a flushed face, and gently run your hands along the sides of her body, gently caressing her hips and then giving her a kiss on the lips, the kiss has a sweet mint taste and when you separate you can see that I transferred some of the lipstick to you.

"Do you really think I look beautiful?, because I don't know for sure... I feel like it's a little too much for me" Elenois says and turns to you and then approaches one of the mirrors to see her curvy body being marked by the lingerie highlighting every perfect spot.

"There is no one more beautiful than you, you look beautiful my love, there is no need to be shy think that I'm the only one here" you say calmly and approach her putting your arms around her waist, you are a little taller and your head is resting on top of hers.

"You always know what to say, don't you smart girl? But there's also the magazine. I'm going to appear like this in the magazine and at the La Perla brand's one-year party." She says and looks at you with her beautiful brown eyes. It was almost a slight habit that Elenois and her sister kept their eyes closed, but that usually happened to highlight the shadows of both of them.

"Hmmm, it's not a big deal. Come on, it's just a few photos and there's no need to worry about it. I'm the only one here." You say calmly and then approach her, gently holding her chin and giving her a soft kiss on the lips and gently caressing her face.

"Hmm, then let's take these photos right away before I regret it." Elenois says and lets out a small laugh at your caresses and kisses.

"Think that we'll be able to explore the set later, my beautiful." You say and give a naughty smile. She moves away and then goes to the middle of the studio. You start to fix the lighting and everything.

"That was the first thing I thought of... They made a very well-developed scenario," Elenois says, and then she arranges herself in a pose, separating her legs and then she tilts her head to the side, leaving her light brown hair to the sides and her neck with the collar showing.

"What do you think of this pose?" Elenois says in a calm tone and then looks up at you.

"There's just one thing missing, my love," you approach and then take the leash of the collar, attaching the chain to the collar. She would definitely look beautiful like this.

"Did you know that this is a little ridiculous? Who likes this kind of thing?" Elenois says, and you just laugh and give her a soft kiss on the forehead.

"I think it's interesting, you just look beautiful like this, you know?" You say and you can see her blushing. You knew that was just lip service, behind closed doors you know very well that your girl likes a fun game of submission and dominance.

"Hmmm, you have strange tastes" Elenois says and returns to the previous position, you hold the chain around her neck, pulling it gently while you take the pictures, her body is just beautiful and everything she was wearing only highlights how beautiful she is, her white skin contrasting with the red of both the room and her lingerie.

"hmmm... may God have mercy on me, you are just beautiful my princess... my kitten" you say and then gently pull the collar.

"Oh... I can say it's not that bad" Elenois feels a slight pressure on her neck when you pull her, you can see her blushing and you just take more pictures of her.

"hmmm I want a better position my beautiful, let me help you" you say and then let go of the rope you just see her waiting to be helped, and then you approach.

"what's on your mind my love?" Elenois says calmly and smiles at you, showing that big smile with white teeth and those beautiful dimples.

"Oh, let me show you this, my love," you say, and then gently pull the chain. You were enjoying this. Pulling the chain around her neck gave you a good idea of ​​power.

"I want something bolder, like this," you say calmly, and gently hold one of her hands against her own breast, the other coming close to her lips.

"How is this, my love?" She says, and gently bites the tip of her finger while her other hand gently touches her breast.

You take a picture of her like this. She looks absolutely beautiful in these pictures. "Explore the space," you say, and Elenois nods.

She starts to walk around and see what's there. Besides the collar, there's a lot more, ropes, handcuffs, whips, vibrators, and the main focus is the bed that has a blindfold and handcuffs. Elenois lies down, gets on the bed, and then you come closer. She smiles at you.

"How would you arrange me to be even sexier?" She speaks calmly and then you gently touch her cheek.tingling her slightly and then tilting her head and then tossing her hair to the side.

"I can say with absolute certainty that this is the photoshoot in which you look sexiest" you say and hear a light laugh from Elonois, you take a few pictures and then leave the camera around your neck, you gently approach her and then sit on her lap.

"You just want to tease me and see me blushing, aren't you? You're a little cruel, you know that?" Elenois says and gently caress her waist, she loves having my hands wrapped around her body.

"I like to be a little cruel then" you say and then gently caress her cheek, leaning in for a soft kiss on the lips and then start kissing her face leaving small lipstick marks on her face.

"Hmmm... you still have to take pictures" she says reminding you in a failed attempt to push you away because she was already feeling a little wet from this and her body was shivering.

"I'm ready for the model" you answer and change Elenois' position laying her completely on the bed, after filling her face with kisses and lipstick marks you gently tilt her face to the side and then take the camera and take more pictures pulling the collar lightly.

"My kitten is so beautiful..." you whisper and then gently stroke her brown hair you can see that she likes it.

"You... God my love you are teasing me" Elenois' sweet whisper and a small sigh is released, she looks at you with puppy eyes.

"Hmm I can stop teasing and do it, can't I, kitten?" you whispered and then she lets out a light laugh, you gently lower the strap of her bra a little the white skin in contrast with the pink nipples bristling, you gently caress her softly and start to gently kiss her collarbone and the beginning of her breasts, you remove the corset from her body and the bra having good access to her beautiful breasts.

"Love, someone might come in..." she says, letting out a small whimper and gently running her fingers through your hair. Elenois has always been a little sensitive in the breast area.

"No one will come in. I locked the door before I came in, kitten," you say, and you can hear the soft moan from her lips. She secretly likes her pet name.

"You think of everything, don't you?" she says, and then she gently wraps her legs around your waist, gently pressing your body against hers.

"I'm always well prepared... even," you whisper, and then turn on one of the radios nearby to drown out any noise that might arise.

"I want you, my love..." Elenois whispers, and then kisses your lips softly and wraps her arms around your neck. The kiss perfectly matches the feeling of lust and desire in the atmosphere.

"You can make a better request, my love," you whisper, and laugh at her needy whimper.

"Hmm...can you please fuck my wet and needy pussy my love?, please I need it" Elenois speaks with such false innocence that it makes you laugh at that she looks at you with puppy eyes and you pull her collar bringing her face even closer.

"you can still be better but I am a compassionate person" you say and then lean over, you lower your hand between Elenois' legs gently separating her slightly thin thighs and touching the length of her intimacy you can feel her wet through that thin fabric.

"oooh...fuck, not like that" she whispers and you can feel that she is sensitive, removing your finger from that small spot, you feel the slight viscosity on your fingers.

"Hmmm so wet, lucky you don't have to return the lingerie" you say and then take some things off the bed, leaving the blindfold and rope aside and your camera too, you take the blindfold and then put the blindfold over Elenois's eyes and tie it just like the ribbon you have. You gently tie Elenois against the headboard of the bed after putting the blindfold on.

"You're just being naughty today, aren't you?" Elenois says and you gently kiss her face making sure the blindfold is stuck to her face, she tries to move her hands but fails miserably because they are tied.

You start rummaging through the drawers and just then you find something really interesting, a vibrator of the most modern kind, they were making a collection of sexual items.

"I found something you'll like my love" you plug the vibrator in and then gently press it against her still covered intimate area and press that little button letting it start to vibrate, you see her let out a moan and then her back arches.

"oh fuck that's it, God really has it all in this studio" you see her being a little more needy and grinding herself against the vibrator.

"After this I'm going to have to buy you one of these my love, you're so needy my kitty... really like a kitty in heat" you say and see Elenois holding onto the headboard of the bed that bangs against the wall and sighing, her head tilts back and her back remains straight.

"Yes, yes, yes I'm so needy my love, I'm your kitty in heat" she whispers softly and leaves you stimulated the vibrator seems perfect, Elenois has never used anything like this until now, and the blindfold that covers her eyes only makes her senses feel sharper.

You gently start to kiss her legs, especially her thighs and gently remove the lingerie from her body, the stockings are left aside and the garter belt too, you gently press the vibrator into her core increasing the level which makes the vibration only more intense which makes Elenois have to cover her mouth to keep from letting out loud moans.

"So beautiful... your body is like paradise, you know? You're absolutely stunning, you're like a work of art" you say and then gently approach her, running your fingers through her hair. You can see how upset she was and you kiss her in a way to reduce her moans and please her. You continue pressing the vibrator against her pussy and then you place it over her clitoris, you hold her waist and squeeze gently.

"Y-you have such a great ability to make me feel good... oh God, I feel so good, I'm absolutely yours" she says in a breathless tone and with a broken voice, you can clearly tell that she's almost there, her hands wanting to free themselves from the tape and also pressing against the headboard.

"Are you coming, love? So fast, I didn't even have to touch you..." you whisper just to tease and let go of her hands and you hear her whimper and then she wraps her arms around your neck and hides her face in your shoulder.

"Ooh yeah I'm almost there my love...it feels so good, you're just mean you know, you know I'm in my fertile period"

You can feel your girl pressing your body against hers, tightening her legs around you and the noises she makes are adorable.

Of course you know but you're just teasing your girl, the blindfold has already been lost in the bed by now and she loves being able to see you, the music playing is perfect for the moment and you can feel her scratching your back.

"Hmmm my love I'm going to cum..." Elenois whispers and then you take the vibrator out and insert your fingers inside her just using them to stimulate her more, penetrating and making them hit her g-spot.

It doesn't take long for Elenois to cum, she hides in a few seconds, her screams are trying to be muffled by a strong bite she gives you on your neck, it will definitely leave a mark.

"Such a good girl...you're so perfect my princess" you whisper softly and you can see her shrinking closer around you. You continue to stimulate her, prolonging her orgasm. You gently remove the tape that was holding her wrists with your other hand.

You feel her hiding her face in the crook of your neck and the sigh she lets out is soft. You gently remove her from the crook of your neck and kiss her on the lips.

"Hmmm, I don't want you to stop, I want more, I want everything" you hear her whisper and she looks at you with her eyes slightly closed. She pulls you towards her and then she begins to undo your blouse. She unbuttons it and with a light click your bra is open and she begins to gently squeeze your breasts.

"I want to please you and be pleased at the same time my love" you see her opening her legs a little more, and you smile at that.

You two have been dating for about two months and she really seemed embarrassed to touch you due to her lack of experience with women and because she had never had much sexual experience with anyone, especially with someone who really knew what they were doing like you, and she just got used to receiving the pleasure you give her but she also wants to please you like you do to her.

"Your requests are just an order to me my princess" you say and then position yourself in the best way possible fitting yourself between her thighs and gently holding her face. She stays there and he takes off your pants and panties starting to explore your intimacy, she doesn't usually please you that way, you felt a lot of pleasure just giving her pleasure.

The two of you form a sixty-nine and begin to explore each other's bodies, which seemed just perfect, your mouth envelops her clitoris, dedicating yourself to sucking her ideal spot, your tongue dancing against that spot as she herself pleases you, and wow, how good it felt, to feel her tongue exploring the length of your intimate area and the gentle licks she gave.

You were really dedicating yourself to sucking her already wet pussy, which was already perfect, only got better with the feeling of her repeating what you were doing. Her tongue was softer, she was learning so fast. Keep it up, just suck me like this, my love." Even more motivated by this, her grip on your thighs increased and she gently began to introduce her tongue gently inside you, just gently, but then she returned to where you wanted it most.

And at this moment, you were starting to feel even more sensitive than now, and you could even feel that familiar pressure forming in your stomach, your orgasm building. You just started to leave clumsy licks over your girlfriend's body, which only made her squirm slightly beneath you.

She barely knew how this was really happening, but she was happy that she was pleasing you like this. She had rarely done this and she usually followed her instructions, letting you guide her. This time, she was doing it on her own, paying attention to what your body responded to the most and how you liked to be touched.

"Ooooh God, that's it! I'm going to cum! Be a good girl and suck it all, okay? I want you to taste me" you say, letting out hoarse moans against her pussy, which only emits small vibrations. Elenois was realizing that it was very pleasurable to give pleasure to someone because her pussy is throbbing just by licking and also listening to her moans.

You still have to try to keep quiet and then, almost impulsively, you bite her thigh, and God, after that you get there, your body trembling gently on hers and she can feel your sweet taste on her tongue, your liquid seems perfect, like water in the desert to her and she loved it, not letting a single drop stay on your body.

With the gentle bite on her thigh, Elenois also gets there and hers is a little stronger than yours and you quickly decide to suck her pussy, the only thing that can be heard in the room are the wet sounds of sucking, your soft body climbing on hers and both of you breathing heavily.

"God, that was amazing, Elenois. You were so good. I really liked that." You whisper, still trying to steady your voice. You get off of her, changing sides and laying down on the bed. Elenois' face is flushed and her lips are a little sticky.

You kiss her on the lips and the moan is very much between you and her, the taste of both of you mixing in the kiss, slightly sweet. When the kiss is broken, she looks at you with puppy eyes and then she rests her face in the crook of your neck.

"Did you really like it? Did I do it right?" She asks in a soft tone, wrapping her arms around your waist and you give her a soft kiss on the lips. "You were perfect. I absolutely loved that... The only problem is that we kind of got dirty when we shouldn't have," you say and laugh a little at that. She lets out a small laugh.

"It's okay... I said I didn't feel very comfortable wearing clothes and they gave me permission to use some of the toys before the photos and when I was alone so I could be a little more "loose", so there's no problem, they also said I could bring the vibrator and some other toys I wanted" she says and gently scratches your back with her nails, a burning sensation that you really like a lot.

"I'm starting to think they wanted a sex video of you" you say laughing and he gives you a soft slap on the arm, this makes you blush, she just thinks they were kind and tried to please her.

"Hmmm then they are very wrong, the only person who can see me completely naked is you, only you" you laugh and place a soft kiss on her shoulder.

"I want to take a picture of you like this...you look just beautiful all disheveled like someone who just had sex" you say and Elenois nods, you gently pull the collar on her neck making her whimper and you had a beautiful picture, of course not for the campaign but for you, Elenois hair was slightly stuck to her forehead, her face red and the red lighting hitting her face.

"this one is mine, and I'm going to develop these photos myself" you hear her laugh a little and she pulls you in for a soft kiss on the lips.

The two of you stay there for a long time, hugging Elenois' head with her head resting on your chest and taking a nap, after a while you both clean yourselves and leave after a while, you next to her and you leave together.

In a sequence of days you developed the photos in your own red room, keeping for yourself the most intimate photos and the ones you liked the most, and the others actually going to the brand that closed the photos.

A few days later, you are at the La Perla party, and Elena is absolutely stunning, wearing a white sheath dress, light makeup on her face and curly brown hair. It was a dinner party. You rest your hand on her leg.

"I really hope there's nothing there."

"I would never let anyone else see you in a more intimate way," you whisper and watch the owner of the French brand walk up on stage.

"Thank you all for coming, it's a pleasure to have you here. We're gathered tonight to celebrate one year of the La Perla brand and also to announce the new lingerie collection. And as a surprise, we decided to produce sexual items, because pleasure is also important for a healthy and happy life." The man says and then people laugh. You still caress your girlfriend's leg under the table, gently squeezing the soft skin.

"Without further ado... watch the concept and then we'll have a little sample show" the man says and then a small sequence of photos of Elenois starts to pass by on the screen, but thankfully, you can barely recognize her, she's blushing.

"Lucky you don't show my face..." Elenois says and you smile, there's nothing really explicit there.

"Such a naughty girl on the bed but just a lady outside" you say just teasing her and then she gently slaps your arm.

"Shut up... you're just teasing me" she says and then leans her head against your shoulder and you slide your fingers through her hair.

"Where's Selenne?" you ask calmly, you're already so used to seeing the two of them together gossiping.

"Hmmm she's in the fashion show... I think they really confused us and asked her to do the fashion show too, they liked my work, but since they were already confused I just encouraged her to do the modeling job, I would never do that... not in front of so many people.

The fashion show takes place and you pay attention to the fashion show, you and Elenois are busy exchanging kisses, no one really cares in such a social circle, most of the people there were just there to see women wearing lingerie.

"Were you seeing those women?" Elenois says and holds your face, squeezing it gently as if she were jealous.

"Of course not... I only have eyes for my beautiful girl, and even more so I can only think about you in that lingerie" you whisper and you can see Elenois smiling.

Selenne returns to her normal self after the fashion show, she wears a black dress and has a slightly unfriendly expression.

"Your kisses disgust me, you should go to a room, you know?" she says only to teasing her sister and Elenois laughs, temporarily stopping kissing her and fixing the lipstick on her lips.

"Just say that because you don't have anyone" Elenois replies and Selenne pretends to be indignant.

"Okay, Sink Plunger, just stop with those kisses" Selenne says and Elenois just leaves a sweet kiss on her lips.

The rest of the party goes on smoothly, Selenne and Elenois drinking until the moment when Elenois complains that she is sleepy. You decide to take them home and so your day ends with you sleeping next to your girlfriend, hugging each other.

[kit-williams]

Barn Anon. Here's another one, my foot is numb cuz dog's sleeping on my lap and I can't move.

Pregnant? His human is pregnant? Gabriel nearly knocks his human over when he rushes to hug her. She's crying? Don't cry, unless it's out of happiness. He purrs and kisses her cheeks, he plucks the pregnancy tests from her hands to look at the results himself. They've made something! Would it be a boy or a girl? He's torn. He's had brothers for the bulk of his life but a little girl that looks exactly like his human?

He purrs happily and peppers her with kisses, good little human, he'll take care of her as her pregnancy progresses. He'll handle all the housework so she can rest and focus on growing their child. Their little miracle. Perhaps it's not as much a surprise to him as it is to her. He is aware of a few of his battle brothers with bonded humans that are "single mothers" with little ones that look suspiciously to those Blood Angels. Maybe it is mostly his fault for not using protection when he's fully aware of this possible end result. But... this can be a little surprise from him to her right?

He rumbles as his human mutters about needing to set up check ups and a nursery. He can handle the nursery, can he go with her for her check ups?

Set after Gabriel's Valentines day special

You feel your leg bounce as you rub the barely visible bulge on your stomach. You know exactly who the father is... given that he was the last person you had sex with. Gabriel coos to your softly sitting on the floor next to you trying his best to comfort you. Oh God you were an Astartes-fucker... and you got pregnant! He rubs your hand as he is certainly feeling your panic rising.

Gabriel should feel guilty as there was a possibility of getting his dear human pregnant but he just wanted to show her how much he loved her and was this not also the greatest way for him to show his love? His eyes flick over to the nurse as she calls her last name and he helps her up.

"Emotional Support Astartis?" She says with a smile and you just nod.

"Yeah I'm a mess of emotions right now." You say softly replying as you worry about people finding out... would someone try to take your kid?

"Well you've got your big guy. Lie down please." You obey and she tucks some of those hospital paper around you and some tucked into the top of your pants as cold get is rubbed on your stomach.

Gabriel watched just cooing happily but internally he was doing his mental checkmarks... he would have to tell the acting chapter master what he had done and then the chief apothecary would want to look her over... and then the small coven of alpha legion that is friendly with the legion? Were they basically a legion again? Either way they would make sure no one suspected anything.

You gasped seeing the blurry blobby mess that was your fetus? kid? You just were surprised to even see something perhaps you were hoping to be told no it was no longer there. You look over at Gabriel and you can tell he's holding his breath his eyes focused on the screen just looking over the little blurry blob with you. You wonder if they would have his red hair...

The visit goes well as you hand Gabriel the ultrasound picture... it doesn't look like much but... you can tell it means a lot to him. For Gabriel as he looks down at the little photo. Of course, the Apothecary would be able to get a clearer picture of their child but he didn't know why... but this was something he was going to cherish.

@egrets-not-regrets @liar-anubiass-blog @barn-anon @bleedingichorhearts

[wishjacked]

Happy #WebcomicDay!! :D

This year we're celebrating the process of making pages... so below the cut I've got a bunch of pictures sharing how I go about making pages of my evil post-apocalyptic workplace sitcom, Cargo!! :D

So! My process!!

Writing-> I think sometimes there's pressure to "write" your comic a certain way, I see people talking about script format and stuff a lot. That really doesn't work for me, though! I write my "first draft" script in short scenes on scrap paper, in whatever order they come to me. Sometimes a scene will just be one or two lines, and then a little description of what I want to happen in the rest of the scene.

Later I type the scene up, and write the "connective tissue" that fits between the disjointed scenes so they all flow together like they ought. I don't do page breaks or even character tag or action notes hahahaha I like it to be as BASIC as POSSIBLE so it's easy to edit. And since I'm the person drawing it I can almost always remember who's supposed to be saying what lmao

I edit a lot, but the most major editing is also probably the last bit... when I letter my pages usually I realize "they would never say that" and so I end up rephrasing everything. My art brain is sometimes waaaaay better at phrasing hahaha. Like you can see in the finished page for this script I rewrote like basically all of it, and actually went back to the original "sketch" script in a lot of places.

Thumbnailing-> my thumbs are really big, I draw them with markers on printer paper and keep them in a binder!! I like to thumb scenes in batches and I also usually write my dialogue on them, just so I can read through them before (and while) I draw to get a feel for how the pacing works. :)

Sketching-> OH sketching is also really hard for me! I don't have a good visual imagination so it's really important for me to make sure I have good references. Last year I was especially focusing on setting.

My comic is set in Florida. I'm lucky in that I used to live there and still go back to visit sometimes, so sometimes I can gather my own reference images! But more often I start on Google Maps or Zillow, trying to find buildings that have interesting features or the right kind of "look" for what I want. I'll also look up other interesting elements, my comic is set in a post-apocalypse and I'll research home gardening and things like that which people would probably have.

For example, in this set in chapter 7, I used Google Maps images, photo references of indoor hydroponic gardening, and like, 90's-00's hacker computer setups haha. Also my BFF Roomstyler.com, where you can make 3d house interiors haha!!

Lineart-> I LOVE lineart it is my favorite!!!! I sketch and ink two pages at a time, and it usually takes somewhere between 10-12 hours to do both steps.

I actually think my art looks best when it's just lineart... but I think my STORY is better with color, like it makes it clearer and easier to read and it has a better atmosphere HAHA.

Colors-> I think it usually takes me 4-6 hours to do 2 pages (I haven't timed myself as consistently as I time my lineart and sketching). I have a big file with small copies of my previous pages that I color drop from, and my characters are all flats only. The limited palette that I use is also really handy, it streamlines coloring a LOT.

Finishing Touches-> aka I steal mercilessly from my one true love, my internet home, the beautiful and blessed Wikimedia Commons

I put lots of overlay layers on my art! I like textures so having some strange little textures or pictures on things makes my art feel a lot more finished to me.

And finally my very most favorite ✨finishing touch✨ is the bright colored/patterned gutters that I use. Here are some of my favorites that I've made and used in the past!

And that's all!! I hope you guys have a very happy Webcomics Day and find lots and lots of wonderful new things to read!!!

[satureja13]

Beltane - Part 3 It all starts -> here (incl prequel)

After a (more or less) fun day at the beach, they went over to Porto Azzurro. And while Noxee and Saiwa dress the Boys up for the festivities...

... and took silly photos, (Omg I so wish we had better poses for photos. The ones we have are so stupid. Almost all of them are unusable -.-)

the other group sets up the stage. And Greg is having a talk with Kiyoshi. Probably about Jack ö.Ö'

And then it's time for Ji Ho's Siren's Song. They all agreed so he can put them under a little spell. Now they are able to enjoy their time together even though they have so many issues. At least for a few hours.

They were all enchanted. Ji Ho's voice is so wonderful. And Saiwa is more determined than ever to work so hard to get back together with Jeb. He is so beautiful and amazing. And Jack was able to think a bit clearer about the things Greg and Noxee said. He's still shocked that he'd never be able to completely get rid of Kiyoshi. But maybe they just have to hang around each other and don't have to be a couple? It's fated mates after all, not fated lovers. Hahaha omg Jack! ^^'

Ji Ho and Jeb performed 'Gente di Mare'. A song from Umberto Tozzi. 'Gente di mare che se ne va dove gli pare dove non sa. gente corsara che non c'è più gente lontana che porta nel cuore questo grande fratello blu. Al di là del mare, c'è qualcuno che c'è qualcuno che non sa niente di te.'

Translation (not by me): 'People of the sea, who leave it behind Going to where they like, they don’t know where Buccaneer people who are no more Faraway people carrying in their hearts This big blue brother At the other side of the sea, there’s someone who There’s someone who knows nothing about you'

And after the concerto it's finally time for dinner! They eat at the boat ristorante! Such a beautiful day!

Thanks to Ji Ho's song, they enjoy their meal together (to Jack's great joy there's Pizza! But he's still lost in thoughts.)

Haha and the way Kiyoshi looks at him! I wish I knew what Greg had said to him earlier!

Of course Noxee and Saiwa wanted to take some fashion shoots for their store, Strawberry Cake Fashion.

They took a stroll through the town to find some awesome places to take the photos. (Vlad wears the suit he wore in our Heidi special and Ji Ho one of the outfits Saiwa picked for him for the prom in the very beginning!)

The others have new outfits. They look so good!

There is also a club boat! Arturo is here too! 🐊 They danced to the songs of our 'Summer at Tartosa' playlist. You can find it on Spotify or youtube.

I don't know if it's wise to start a fire on a wooden boat but I couldn't stop Jack 'the pyromaniac'. It's also one of the Beltane traditions so ... Vlad is mixing the drinks. He's still so awkward around Ji Ho and being still under the spell, he rather stays away from him to not do something stupid.

Ji Ho is tired. The ride with the TukTuk was exhausting and the Siren's Song drained him, as always. But he's happy. He's the most sensible of them and their quarrels affect him the most. He hates living apart from the others.

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🕹️ 'Therapy Game' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[beth-purcell]

Beth Rambles about Bendy

because holy crap I may have been hit with a horrifying aha moment. And full disclosure, I am aware that it sounds very Tin Hat and making a lot of assumptions, but at this moment I need to get it spewed out of my head. So be aware that I'm going to be emulating the Pepe Silvia meme

And just as a heads up, I'm mentioning the designs that were leaked in the Dreams Come to Life graphic novel so click Keep Reading at your own risk! And please don't be rude or try and go after anybody, this is my own opinions and frazzled freight train thoughts.

So I just got hit with a realization regarding the graphic novel and the whole decanonization with the books.

Mike and Meatly did it so they could avoid the backlash of the designs in the graphic novel and whatever they've got planned with the games moving forward, especially as it pertains to the character's designs. Or alternatively, they did it (the blunt "the books aren't canon anymore") to distract and/or pull one over on the fans so that way they can put their designs into the games and not deal with as much as scrutiny.

Cause we've seen with BATDR that they've improved the designs of the human characters compared to Joey in BATIM, and given we have both The Cage, a game that's focusing on the horrors of GENT (which involve human experimentation as far as BATDR hinted at) and B3NDY probably focusing on the aftermath of BATDR from Audrey's perspective, which you would think would involve her trying to deal with her new living toon roommate while factoring the consequences of being pulled into the Inky Hellscape on a Monday/Tuesday depending on the time Wilson dragged her in and how long she was actually trapped there (which ya know, wasn't answered in game). Either way, there's a lot of potential of more human characters to interact with, and if they really wanted to push the idea of a more "mature" and "experimental" [And boy do I have thoughts about that], what better way than having in-universe film of experiments or photos of the victims, or even flashback sequences we could play through?

It's not a secret that Mike and Meatly are very controlling in regard to their IPs (Adrienne confirming that they had a hand in every book; what happened to Showdown Bandit; Mike's own comments in the Bendy AMA; etc) and they have a tendency to ignore the room and stick their foot in their mouths (The fact it was only Mike that made acknowledgement of the Kindly Beast Firings and the accused workplace abuse; Mike deciding to "be clearer" on Meatly's comment regarding the books being fun extras; the situation less than two weeks ago that led to Mike to delete his Twitter again; etc). And let's be real, the quality control on the graphic novel is abyssmal, even for a extremely rushed project. Like I'd argue this is past "get it done good enough" or "we're making games for stupid kids" and I'm in absolute shock that this is what happened.

Obviously the idea of them on purposely setting things in place to either distract the fan base or try and claim control over the "canon" would imply that they are competent enough to think ahead and be able to convince Scholastic to risk customer goodwill, but I find it so strange that they started this takedown of the books's role in the canon less than two months away from Fade to Black's release and then the continuing snowballing. It's probably more likely that Mike got tired of people praising the books for their work and wanted control, and basically convinced Meatly that they had to change the books' canon status because it wouldn't fit with their plans, and they didn't think of the consequences, especially after people found leaks and preview images and the fact that people still know what Mike had said in regard to diversity back during the Bendy AMA:

And while I've been putting blame on Mike, as he's been the one to be more vocal and obvious, Meatly is just as bad for letting this to get to this point, for letting Mike stick his foot in his mouth and constantly put the Bendy brand in a negative light and undermine him with every opportunity. Like I don't know what the business relationship is like, but at some point you gotta put your foot down.

As much as it's unlikely, I do like the theory @mickeys-malarkey posted where there could be more to the whole graphic novel of Buddy's take on events that just being an adaptation. I mean the idea of the graphic novels being an extension of Joey's attempts to cover his ass would be an amazing spin on the Mascot Horror media outside of the video games.

Hopefully those two manage to keep quiet for a while and not pull a "OwO here be the Cage's trailer~! And Lone Wolf Release!" and try to drown out the graphic novel's release but I'm not holding my breath xp

[altocat]

Back at it again at Krispy Kreme!

Ok, so I’m just sharing some more alternate EC chapter 5 translation insight with you guys since people definitely seem curious. Um…small notice, I am still trying to paraphrase what my friend has tried to explain to me, so if I make any mistakes that someone uncovers later, I do apologize in advance.

An interesting Japanese tidbit in the beach scene where Seph says that it’s his first “field mission” helps us get a clearer picture of what he means.

In Japanese, he says that he “has never had much contact with people and this is his first real battle/first time on a real battlefield, so he doesn’t know what he is doing.”

I suppose this confirms that he hasn’t been exactly on the frontlines, although there is that info blob from the Crisis Core guide about him having been “on the frontlines of battle” since before he was ten years old. My guess is that this is either Shinra propaganda, or else it refers to his training, which would still be referred to as “battle,” I guess. He clearly states that he learned to kill without hesitation throughout his training, so whatever they were throwing at him, it was basically “real” but in a controlled environment, perhaps.

Also, when he says “Nothing, it’s never going to happen anyway,” about living a normal life, it reads in Japanese more as “I don’t care anymore/It doesn’t matter, it’s never going to happen.”

It seems like a direct reference to the Nibelheim scene where he laughs off the questions about his parentage because “What does it matter?”

He has really lost heart about both things, but it’s obvious he still cares.

Also. When Sephiroth says that he knows asking about his everyone about his mother isn’t “cool,” Glenn laughs and says “You know it, haha!” which seems fairly translated in the English, but what may be missing is the nuance of Sephiroth’s next response.

He basically says, “Yeah, that’s everyone’s reaction,” but it comes off like he is referring to Glenn’s laughing and dismissal. Basically, we get the impression that people tend to mock Sephiroth’s inquiry because it’s supposedly childish, like a kid lost in a supermarket asking for their mom.

My friend really thinks it’s because of his hero status, i. e., people laugh at the idea of this young super solider asking about something so “normal?” She also suspects it’s a bit of a reference to the fanbase’s joking about Sephiroth’s obsession with his mother in general. Both in-game and in the actual world, Sephiroth is not really seen as human, so people are amused or fascinated when he shows glimpses of it…or else they dismiss it.

The Japanese version of that photo scene apparently gets this message across better. Seph is used to being laughed off or dismissed when asking about his mother. I also would not be surprised if Hojo was someone that laughed at him over it a lot.

Once again, sorry for extra pain, but we may be getting the idea that it wasn’t just a general “Don’t ask about your mother” vibe at Shinra for Sephiroth, but also a long history of people mocking the question. Poor kid. (I will share a few more translation details soon).

Hhhhhh these are SO interesting.

For Seph's training, I'm of the mind that they've probably been having him undertake mock skirmishes/drills under a controlled setting, as you mentioned. Sephiroth has apparently already been killing, so it wouldn't surprise me if they've been plucking enemies for him to slay while still in their custody. Interesting that it contradicts CC's lore. But at the same time, that could have all been propaganda. It's reasonable to assume that Sephiroth's training was likely extremely psychologically warping, and, for him, as real as an actual battle considering he's developed a paranoia and survival instinct. Shinra is so fucked up.

His line about not wanting to be a hero sounds WAY more checked out in the Japanese dialogue here. He sounds completely hopeless.

The Mother stuff...ASDFGHJFDGHBFDX

Keep these coming! They're really enhancing the context of these scenes!

[alex51324]

Want to see something cool, but also kinda sad + anger-inducing?

Today I went to a nearby state park, and hiked to this cabin:

Hand-built by a local man named Armar Bordner in the 1930's, it was occupied by Mr. Bordner until his death in 1994. It's not for rent or anything; it's just sitting there, with all the doors and windows open, for anyone who's up for a mile-and-a-half hike to stop in and have a look around. There are a few framed photos on the walls showing how it looked when he lived there, and a couple of signs explaining the history.

And that's kind of a bold move, considering that, if you have any ability to read between the lines, the parks department really comes off bad in it.

Here's the sign:

A clearer and more detailed version of the text is available here, the site of a private conservation organization that maintains the cabin.

Mr. Bordner, who was an Industrial Arts teacher, bought the land and built the cabin by hand, with some help from friends and students, over a 2 1/2 year period ending in 1939. All of the logs for the cabin were felled and hewn by hand, he used local materials, mostly obtained at the site, and was reportedly inspired by Frank Lloyd Wright.

In the 1970's, the state decided that they wanted to create a state park in the area. The original plan was fairly elaborate, including damming the creek to create a lake for recreational boating, fishing, etc. (PA state parks have a lot of these "man-made lakes," mostly built in the CCC era or shortly after WWII.) Under eminent domain, the state seized private land--mostly hunting camps--for the project.

One of the seized properties was Mr. Bordner's cabin. He fought the seizure--I mean, who wouldn't?--and at some point the state apparently decided that it was not a great look to force a senior citizen out of the family home that he built with his own two hands, and granted him the privilege of continuing to live in it for the remainder of his life, for what is described as a "nominal fee."

Mr. Bordner went on to live two more decades, passing in his cabin in 1994, at the age of 90. During the decades since his cabin technically ceased to belong to him, the park project kind of fell apart. The park was officially formed in 1987, but it was considered an "undeveloped park"--meaning, it was public land, but the state wasn't doing anything to encourage people to visit it or accommodate them if they did--until 2012, when the parks department took an interest in developing it.

Now, in 2023, the park has several hiking trails, three parking lots with port-a-potties , and that's about it. (Most state parks here have things like campsites, picnic grounds, etc.) Some of the trails--the equestrian trails and the Swatara Rail-Trail--are on park land but maintained by other groups. As is the cabin itself, which was allowed to fall into disrepair after Mr. Bordner's death, and was restored by a group called the Swatara Watershed Association.

It's an absolutely beautiful cabin, in a lovely setting, and I'm glad I got to see and explore it--but once you learn the history, it's hard not to feel that it should still belong to Mr. Bordner's daughter. (Or, if she didn't want to live there or keep it up, to a group that Mr. Bordner had chosen while he was alive to preserve it and make it available to the community.)

Anyway, here are some more pretty photos:

Here's a big porch-balcony that looks out over the stream and waterfall:

Sophie and I sat there to have a little snack after our hike:

Then we got to exploring the inside. Here we're in the main room looking out toward the waterfall:

And here we are on the other side of the window, looking in:

The main room, here, faces the creek/waterfall on two sides, as the stream wraps around it. Over to the right (from this POV), there is a small room that might have been a bedroom or kitchen. (There's a photo of a large woodstove for cooking in it, but the watershed or site seems to say it was a bedroom?) The balcony from the earlier picture is to the left, and at the far end of the cabin there's a staircase leading up to a loft, with some little bedrooms tucked under it.

Here's one of the framed photos on the wall, showing how this area looked at one point during Mr. Bordner's time there:

And my attempt at re-creating the photo from the same angle:

Here we're looking down from the loft, at the fireplace that Mr. Bordner built with stone collected on the site:

Another look at the fireplace:

Surprisingly, there are no signs saying not to light a fire in it.

Here's a photo from the wall showing one of the small bedrooms:

And the room today:

And here's Sophie hanging out next to the post for the library hiking program:

That's about all I have--I thought I took some pictures of the waterfall, but I guess I didn't. The Watershed Association site has additional photos, if you want to see more. I definitely want to go back and see it another time.

[paperlovesadness]

I'm sitting outside in the sun in wet jeans - following advice on how to stretch denim to better fit you - making breathing room for myself and my thighs who are hated by jean sizing everywhere - and I'm getting sappy about Tumblr and fangirling and this community of lovely, unapologetically excited people I've met here.

This is something not many will probably read (long posts can be tough, I get it) - it just kind of all spilled I guess? Incoherently but with passion. So why not set it free when it's already here.

You see - I can't help but credit Tumblr as this huge part of my inner child healing journey. And particularly the girlhood part of it all.

Subconsciously & even consciously I've felt so so ashamed of these "girly" sides of me all my life. Especially in their "prime time" of my tween and teen years. I'd love things secretly - or at most - talk about them only after loudly labelling them as "guilty pleasures" (quite a terrible concept) or acting like it's all done with a tinge of self-aware irony.

But being a hopeless romantic; loving your favorite characters with your whole being; squealing over your favorite music and the musicians who make it; talking about your favorite songs and lyrics and photos; drawing, editing, making fanart of things that make your heart sore; sharing your fantasies and dreams; crying about quotes and big ideas; writing stories - those are all such beautiful things.

I've immersed myself back in the worlds of blogging and fanfiction and musical fangirling and... In many ways I haven't felt this good since I was a kid - still untouched by society and it's shaming of the endless supply of passion I had in me towards the things I loved.

And fangirls are a force. Fangirls are what made the music industry what it is. They're who discovered the Beatles and Leonard Cohen and Frank Sinatra and David Bowie - amongst so many others - and when they did the hard work - only then was it all taken over and appropriated by men who claimed only they can "truly and objectively" appreciate it.

It's girls - bright, unapologetically excited, passionate girls who care for pretty things and things with a soul and things with a story, with romantic connotations - girls who love to curate aesthetically pleasing landscapes and spaces around themselves - it's those girls who contributed hugely to an actual analogue photography and vinyl pressing revival & re-popularization.

I'm in my late twenties. I've only recently let myself pierce my ears and start wearing makeup sometimes. And care openly about my appearance and fashion choices. It's very much still all queer coded and slightly gender-mixed. Because that's me. But caring about these things has always been categorized as a "girl thing" = therefore = shameful, shallow, not something to be proud of.

I'm continuously curing my incredibly hurtful and internally misogynistic complex of "not being like other girls". There are still biases and automatic-judgements I'm fighting on the daily. But it's become so much clearer and easier to do so.

Im more ways than one I want to be exactly like other girls. I want to grab the hands of all the fangirls around this site and dance with them in a circle and tell them they look great whatever they choose to look like and I want to sit down in a meadow and make flower crowns together and squeal over our favorite things.

And to be clear I'm not saying be girly. I'm saying embrace you inner girlhood.

And that could be so many things. Just... Never be ashamed of the parts of it that society deems shallow and embarrassing or worthless.

And just... Thank you for being girlies with me 💗

(girlies & girls as usual used as more of a state of my mind and being; not a strictly gendered term. This applies in all, most or many ways to queer people & of course non-binary and trans experiences).

[gamebunny-advance]

Sorry~

I feel like I've been doing a lot of b*tching and moaning lately, which aren't really the vibes I wanna be putting out (at least not without balancing it out with stuff I'm actually happy about).

So here are a couple of things that are kinda cool for me~

I recently had to get a new phone because my old one was very close to exploding (the battery was swelling). I don't really bother with top end models because I hardly use my phone except for texts and calls and looking up coupons when I'm shopping. But even nowadays, a relatively cheap phone has so many new features~

I won't use most of them, but it's cool that they're there, and I always have fun setting up new tech with all my customizations~ (Even though I don't use it much, I still want it to be cute!) I'm mostly just happy that the camera is an upgrade, so my photos won't be as shitty.

(New | Old)

Well, a better camera isn't gonna do anything for my lack of photography knowledge, but at least the pictures are a little clearer (The color balancing is still off, but I'll figure it out eventually.)

Also, kinda excited about a newish OC that I thought of.

Right now I'm calling them "Mascot Businessman" or "Yuru" (named after "Yuru-Chara") but the details aren't finalized. I don't like any of these mask designs yet, but I think the title is more or less self-explanatory: it's a businessman that wears a mascot head everywhere he goes. At first, it was just gonna be the one head, but I like the idea that they have different ones for different moods.

It's a simple idea, but somehow I'm actually pretty excited to work on them, which I haven't felt since I made Kun3h0~

I'm torn between leaving them as an actual mascot type character - they only exists for single pieces of art - or if I want to actually develop their story, because I do have an idea for them being paired with a coworker that's constantly trying to catch them with the mask off even though no one else in their workplace seems to acknowledge it. It's really about boundaries and accepting the strangeness of other people to live a happier life, but I dunno if I wanna go that deep with it.

I called them "newish" earlier because strictly speaking, this is a theme that's appeared in my work before.

A LONG time ago, I think even before DSYNC was conceptualized, I had an idea for a rogue abandoned 1010 that wore a mascot head because he lost his old one. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that that idea was what eventually turned into DSYNC B-Side.

There's also The Prince Formerly Known as Frog, who also has a big mascot head, but the execution for him is kinda different (he's supposed to be a guy stuck midway in a mascot costume and his original clothes because his curse was only half broken). And I don't draw him that much anyway~

So I consider Yuru to be an evolution of those ideas.

Hopefully I'll have some finished art of him soon after I figure out how I want all their heads to look~ (Because otherwise it really is just someone in a business suit.)

[thebroccolination]

[SOTUS/He’s Coming to Me (spoilers)] I Lived (Kongphob/Arthit)

There’s a grassy slope behind the grave, and that’s where they sit as the sun sets. Kongphob explains his dream, surprised by the amount of details that resurface the more he recounts. He rarely remembers any dream once he wakes up, and he’s insisted more than once that he just doesn’t have them most nights.

This one was unique.

Arthit listens intently, focused on the sky and the surrounding graves. The air is clearer here than in the city, and the heat doesn’t bear down like a curse. If their luck holds out, it won’t rain until Kongphob’s said everything he needs to say to put this dream behind them.

“He died without knowing who was behind it,” Kongphob says. He’s aware that the language he’s using has shifted since earlier in the week. He’s not framing it as a dream anymore.

He passes his phone to Arthit, watching his face. “He looked just like me.”

The newspaper he tracked down is from the economic crash in the nineties, and amid bleak tales of investments and lives ruined in turn, there’s an obituary of a boy.

Arthit, who hasn’t given away much of a reaction in any direction since they arrived at the cemetery, stares at the photo with something complicated like fear and dismay.

Maybe he was hoping up to this moment that it really was just a dream.

“Is—” Arthit breaks off and clears his throat. Though he doesn’t finish the question, Kongphob can guess what it was going to be.

After all, Kongphob can’t be Mes’s reincarnation if he was already alive when Mes died. They’re not even related—he checked that, too.

Kongphob is sort of nebulously religious. He follows customs when his family does, agrees on principle with some teachings, but in general he considers himself agnostic. Having a dream about a boy who died decades ago doesn’t really push the needle in any direction, no matter how identical they seem. There are only so many ways a face can look, after all.

But seeing as it’s a momentous time in the country that Mes never lived to see, with marriage equality on the brink of legalization, it feels right to follow the urgent calls of whatever has been directing him for the past several days.

“What are you supposed to do now?” Arthit asks. He’s more religious than Kongphob, and he’s the one who bought and set up the offerings for Mes’s grave.

“I think this is it,” Kongphob says. He circles his arms around his knees as a gentle breeze travels the length of the cemetery, rustling in the trees and through the grass. “I think he just wants people to know what happened to him. To care that he lived.”

With the sun gone, the cemetery should be a more forbidding setting, but Kongphob has always liked cemeteries at night. He may not have set beliefs, but if there is a curtain between the living and the dead, it feels thinner here under the moon, and there’s a warmer energy that comes along with it.

Arthit must feel it too. He pushes his shoulder bag higher on the slope, then spreads the extra flag over top. He mumbles an excuse about the long drive ahead, and Kongphob smiles as he settles down next to him.

Surely there are other visitors in the cemetery, maybe a groundskeeper, but Kongphob is willing to bet a lot that they’re the only ones taking a nap on one of the graves. Curled into each other, hands clasped, heads resting on the pride flag Arthit brought.

The smaller, more practical one Kongphob brought stands in a jar on the grave itself.

The sense of necessity Kongphob’s carried all week dissipates. He doesn’t need or want to ask any more questions now, content to have done a favor for someone who let him include his husband in the whole adventure. He runs his thumb over the back of Arthit’s hand and watches over him as he dozes off the way he’s done hundreds of times.

At the top of the slope, Mes twists his mouth into a pout. “I want the big flag,” he tells them.

They don’t hear, just like they haven’t heard any of his hints and outright instructions all week.

Ah well.

At least they did the important stuff.

“Thank you, P’Kongphob.”

[the-final-sif]

Kind of related to the situation, but I want to ask a serious question on something you mentioned, about making fake media look 100% authentic through clone apps and screenshoting to fuck up the metadata of the picture. It's scaring the hell out of me, have we really reached a point that there are ways to fake evidence and make it look real even if that evidence is tested by actual professionals? In other words, if the evidence can no longer be proven real or fake by computer pros, that all we have left are character witnesses? The sheer idea that someone could fake something about me on some app I am known to use and destroy my life just by using some app clone software they found on google is making me freak the fuck out!

Sorry if I'm not making sense, but thanks for all the info you post! Helped me calm down and look at the situation with a clearer mind

Well, so, I think the problem here is that you've forgotten a key element: evidence absolutely can still be proven real or fake, just not by people on twitter. An actual courtroom is different from a court of public opinion.

This is not new by any means. People have been able to pass off convincing fake information since information has existed as a concept. Since any method of documenting information has existed, there have been ways to fake those methods.

I've mentioned them before, but the Cottingley Fairies are the perfect example of this. It's a series of 5 photographs taken by two young girls, appearing to show the girls interacting with fairies in the 1910s-1920s. The photographs the girls took were extensively examined for any signs of alterations, and the girls were even given a camera with plates set up such that no alteration was possible. The images produced were examined by experts, and nobody was able to find any sign of editing or alteration to the photos.

How did they do it? Easy, the girls had cardboard cutouts made from a popular children's book. The photos were unaltered, but they were photos of cut outs. Not photos of real fairies. The girls were 9 and 16 and playing a prank for fun. They admitted to how they did it much later in life, and explained that they had been too embarrassed to admit that it was a prank at the time.

That evidence was both fake and undetectable by experts through examination of the photographs. Much like screenshots, screen recordings, etc, can also be fake in ways undetectable to experts. You set up an app clone, write whatever you want, then screen record that. The app clone is the cardboard fairy cutout. That's part of why I urge people to not leap to conclusions based on whether they think a photo or video is edited, rather than considering whether the underlying content has been altered.

However, here's the thing, this only holds up on social media. Once you actually get into a court of law, this no longer works. Because in a court, the actual company who has the data (ie, twitter, instagram, phone companies, etc) can be asked to provide logs of what actually occurred. And that's what actually happens. Nobody goes into court with a screen recording and gets to submit that as evidence without some method of authentication.

The issue at hand isn't that there's no way to know what is or isn't reality, the issue at hand is that people often aren't willing to take the time to authenticate information. Some people aren't willing to be skeptical of the things that they are told, and run with information before they've been able to verify it. They conflate an image or video being unaltered with the underlying information being unaltered. They then misrepresent this information to others in a vicious cycle of misinformation. It is a real and present issue, and it's not new.

Back in 1920, the photos of the fairies were published to mixed reactions. Some people believed wholeheartedly that they were real and empirical proof of fairies. A lot of people didn't. Some people pointed out possible issues, and got dismissed by believers. It was a topic of conversation for awhile, and then it died down. People believed what they wanted to believe for a long while, and the truth finally came out in the 1980s.

The difference between what happened back then and what happens today isn't a difference in how willing people are to believe misinformation or how easy it is to create misinformation, but rather a difference in how quickly misinformation can spread, and how much misinformation people are exposed to. That's what worries me.

I don't have a solution for this problem as a whole. But what I can say is all of us can do our part to evaluate sources of misinformation, be careful about what we spread and how we spread it, and do our best to provided corrections when we feel we are able. Deep breaths, question things in a responsible manner, and be ready to wait for the actual truth of a situation to come out.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Sweet Dreams--Part 4

Calum and you have dance around reality for a few months now. But after Calum leaves and returns from a trip, the reality has to be confronted. 

Weeks are passing and maybe more is blooming between you and Calum than might meet the eye.

Prince!Calum x Reader Insert.

CW: There’s smut across this series (18+ content), as well as mentions of parental abuse, neglect, and alcoholism.

Series Masterlist

My Complete Masterlist

All wildfires start just as smoke signals in the sky. Even if the smoke is thin and wispy, the fire will always give off a siren song. And the first signal lands on Calum’s desk with a huff. “Mind telling me what’s going on here?”

Calum looks at the glossy cover of the magazine and spots a picture of you and his mother sitting at a restaurant, staring back at him as the front and center imagine. When Calum doesn’t respond, the red manicured nails flip the magazine open and there on page 21 is another shot of you and his mother from your early dinner a week ago. Miranda taps the image. “The Queen told me she was meeting someone for dinner last week. I thought nothing of it. She meets many people. But that--them right there, that’s one of our employees.”

Calum continues to look over the picture. Nothing sets off his alarms about the three paragraphs written. Though he doesn’t get much time to read it as a tablet is lowered into his vision. “And then, from the same day, given by their green shirt, the two of you are spotted in the service lot kissing,” Miranda huffs. 

Calum taps on the tiny picture to bring up the article. It’s a gossip site, but there’s the photo of Calum and you, outside your car, his lips pressed against your forehead--the angle shows that clearly. 

“You told me you were dating someone. And I figured I’d get the notes when it was serious. But you failed to mention it was someone on our staff,” Miranda scowls. She’s worked on their PR team since Calum’s late teens years. Her and her signature red manicure have drafted many fact sheets, apologies, and letters for him. 

The thing about Miranda that Calum has learned is that she’s never really looking for an answer. None of her speech is to actually gain any sort of clarity or answer from Calum. She’s already prepared on all fronts. The only thing she needs from him to solidify which path they’re going to take. 

“It’s getting serious,” Calum returns. It feels true in a way. Things could be going somewhere. Though there hadn’t been more than the conversations in his room or the stolen moments at breakfast, things were starting to settle. There were fewer whispers and worries about who might catch you too. Though Calum’s father was still waiting for his moment to meet you one on one too. 

“Serious? Okay, well, I’ll make sure you’re fully stocked with condoms while I also prepare the statement about the engagement--sound good?”

“That might be a year early on that,” Calum returns, handing the tablet back to Miranda. He delivers the sentence with a smile. It works but only a little as Miranda smirks back. 

She huffs, tapping at the screen. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

“When it was clearer,” Calum answers. That sounds like a genuine question to which he will give a genuine answer. Sure, the few months had been strong, but Calum wasn’t going to jump the gun with you. It’d be like trying to lead a terrified horse. It’d only serve to get Calum kicked down if he wasn’t careful. 

“Having lunch with the Queen seems pretty fucking clear,” she retorts, falling into the one seater opposite of Calum. Her nose is buried in the screen. Her eyesight was going, but she refused to wear glasses except during speeches. 

“We-we haven’t talked about the publicity thing--gossip sites, pap pictures. Is there anything we can do to keep it quieter? I don’t want this to scare them.”

Miranda drops the tablet to her lap. Her gaze is careful and calculated. “I’ll do what I can. But you two will have to talk quickly. They’ll need to be media briefed and trained too. Are you aware of any social media that they have?”

Calum can’t recall that you’d ever mentioned it. Though, he wonders if it’s something you reframed from given your desire not to have your parents contacting you. “I’ll find out,” he answers. 

“I’m quicker,” Miranda laughs, devoid of all humor. “But keep me posted. I can give you a week.”

A week feels much too short to solidify anything let alone a relationship, but he knows if they don’t contain this now it’ll only get worse later. “I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks for making my job a dream, Calum,” Miranda calls from the door of his office. 

“I like to keep you on your toes,” Calum calls out. Her laughter-real this time- is faint but he catches it just before the door closes. He pulls out his phone and right there on the home screen is a message from you. It’s a little too early in the afternoon, Calum would’ve thought for you to be awake. But there, the message sits. He clicks on it. 

Would you like to go to the park one evening? I’ll show you a painting, since I still owe you that. I’ve got some spare 8 x 12 canvas and mini paints. Perhaps a picnic and painting date?

It’s a date. An actual date. He’d been wondering if it would be too much to ask. It was still dicey inside the castle, he hadn’t even wanted to push too much about taking you out somewhere. You’ve answered his question though. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a far fetched idea. Calum’s stomach flutters at the thought of someone asking him on a date. His cheeks burn at the realization that you’re asking him a date before he can ask you on one. But he likes being courted too--a nice gesture that you want him too. 

I would absolutely adore that, Calum replies. I’ll be sure to bring my guitar. Since I do owe you that. 

I’m free Friday evening if you are? 

God, Calum wishes he could swallow the fluttering of his stomach. He does swipe to his calendar to double check that he is free. Usually Friday’s were empty as most times his friends would want to gather on Thursday or Saturday. His calendar is empty. It makes Calum breathe a little easier. I’m free, he replies. 

I’ll pick you up at 6.

6 it is. He wavers, fingers wanting to type out more about needing to speak with you about something. He worries that will cause you to worry. But he stares at the magazine still on his desk.  Are you free right now? he texts. 

Nearly immediately, his phone lights up with your name. He answers it. “Hey, baby.”

“Hi. Everything okay, Calum?”

“Missed your voice,” he counters. “That and I do need to talk to you about something.”

“Sounds serious?”

Calum thinks the question is a probe, you fishing for how serious is serious. And he doesn’t fault that tactic either, knows it’s important for you to know the details. “So, it got brought to the attention of the PR team, but a couple photos have surfaced.”

“Pictures? Who has pictures? We haven’t gone anywhere?”

“There’s some from when you met with Mum. It’s mostly white noise. And there’s a second set of pictures from that same day, I think of us.”

Your side of the phone remains quiet. Calum wants to assuage any fears, but he doesn’t want to assume any one reaction from you. But he lets the silence fall thick between the two of you. 

“Are people saying things? About me?”

You ask it quietly, like you might be ashamed of yourself for even giving the question thought. But Calum gets it. It was probably the very thing you were dreading. It was the exact thing you were waiting for. “I haven’t read the comments,” Calum answers. “And I have no plans to read them.” He prays his volley conveys what he needs it to say: I don’t care what others think.

“Won’t your team need to know?”

“They do. Not me.”

“You’d only gain me--realistically. Don’t you care what the cabinet will think?”

Calum shuts his eyes at the question. He doesn't care. He hasn’t needed to care. But he does realize what this will mean. If you two do get serious, it will always be an uphill battle. There will always be people who question you and your motives. There will be people who don’t like Calum’s decisions. But Calum’s not living his life for other people. At the end of his days, he wants to not regret anything. 

“Someone I know called it a circle jerk and if I’m being honest the only person I’m interested in jerking anything of mine is you.”

“God,” you scoff at Calum’s answer. Your laughter falls out in waves. Your annoyance and disappointment is clear too. But that’s the sound Calum needed to hear. 

“It’s true,” Calum laughs. 

“You’re-you’re not ashamed?”

“Baby,” he coos, spinning in his desk chair. The window gives view to the busy streets below. It’s a pretty clear day. The trees bow to the breeze, but the sun is bright in the sky. Calum’s praying that the break in the weather lasts so it’s cooler. “Did I do something to make you think I am ashamed? Because if I did, I'd need to kick my own ass.”

“No, there’s nothing you’ve done. I’m worried that maybe these pictures have changed something.”

“No, these pictures change nothing. And I know it’s really easy for me to say those words, right? Because words are easy. But let me show you, okay? Let me show you nothing’s changed.”

Calum’s not above begging--not when it’s about you. He clutches his phone hoping that you’ll let him show you. 

“Okay,” you answer. “I’ll let you show me.”

“Thank you,” Calum whispers. 

“Can I ask just one thing?”

“You can ask more than just one question. You can ask--”

“If you say two,” you huff. 

Calum exhales a tuft of laughter. “Oh, don’t tempt me. But what’s your question? You can ask all of them.”

“If-if more pictures surface, can you not tell me about them? Not unless it’s important of course. Tell me if anything is important, please.”

Calum’s not sure why you don’t want to know. But the thing he won’t do is subject you to something that you’re not ready to handle. “Yeah, I think I can do that. I know I’m moving fast on this one. But, soon, I think you might get pulled for media training and stuff. It’s like--how to talk in press, what to say if someone asks you x question and so on. And I’m not trying to say you’ll have to talk to the press. You don’t. You absolutely don’t have to talk to the press.”

Your exhale crackles the receiver. Calum knows, well before you even speak, he knows that he’s dug himself into a bit of a hole. However, you don’t even mention the hole Calum’s dug. “Are you giving the paparazzi the glorified title of press?”

“I am being polite,” Calum returns with a small bit of laughter. He’s glad to hear the quip, but he will be logging for later that this might be a subject to return. “I know I’m moving too fast. It’s just--the PR team’s going to move fast and I don’t want that to blindside you.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“With Miranda, it’s a good thing. She gets on her shit and gets it done. I’ll-I’ll talk to her to get more and relay it to you.”

“What time does Miranda usually leave? I work tomorrow anyways. I can talk to her.”

Calum spins, almost lifting himself out of his seat as if he’d take himself to Miranda’s office right now. But he pauses, one hand on the desk still. “Uh, I’d say around 5. But she’s been known to work late here and there. I can let her know you’re coming tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I can be in by 4 if she’s okay with that.”

Now, Calum pushes up fully, dress shoes clicking against the floor. “Let me tell her now.” Miranda’s usually on the second floor and Calum’s hoping that she’s still there and not elsewhere--least there be a meeting of some kind for her. 

“Tell me, have you been media trained?” you tease. 

“More times than I can count if I’m honest.” Calum nearly takes himself to the elevators, but worries he might lose signal. He takes himself down to the stairs. “We refresh once a year, maybe? It’s boring. Truly. Your eyes will fight to stay open during it.”

“God that bad?”

“Yeah,” Calum laughs. It echoes in the stairwell amongst the click of his shoes. 

“Do you ever get tired of the dress clothes?” you ask. 

“All the time. But you get used to it.”

“Would I have to dress up?”

Calum carries himself down the last flight of steps. The worry paints your tone heavily and it makes Calum realize how much of this world is absolutely foreign to you. He’s happy to walk you through it, guide you through the madness that his world can bring. But he can’t quite imagine the overwhelm that might descend on someone being suddenly thrusted into this. “Hey, baby, don’t even worry. Should you feel comfortable going with me to events, there would be an expectation that you present according to the dress code. But I’d ensure that you got access to loaners. You won’t be expected to just suddenly have Chanel and Gucci in your closet. I don’t have that shit in my closet.”

Your laughter falls softly. “You have it on your nightstand though.”

Calum knows exactly which scent you’re referring to--his bottle of Gucci Guilty. “But you love that cologne, so I don’t want to hear that.” The sound of his knock rings around the hallway.

Your rebuttal is swift to Calum’s accusation. “It is a nice cologne. But I much prefer your Calvin Klein One Gold, so let’s get our facts straight.”

Miranda peeks her head out from the creak in the door. “Yes, Calum?”

“One second, baby,” Calum offers to you, before peeling the receiver back from his mouth. “How late are you going to be tomorrow, Miranda?”

Her eyes narrow. “Is this a test? But 5:30 at the latest. What’s up?”

“No test. They wanted to talk to you.”

“They who?” Miranda asks. 

Calum offers your name. “About going over their social media. Probably to set up a time to get media trained later on too. Told you I’m always here to make your job easier.”

“Can they be here by 4:30 tomorrow?” 

Calum motions for just a one second and turns back to his phone. “Can you be here by 4:30 tomorrow?” he poses to you. 

You laugh. “You know I can hear everything. But yes, I can do that.”

“Affirmative, Miranda,” Calum relays, ignoring the sass from you for the moment. 

“I’ll see them then. And no, you don’t make my job easier Calum. You just keep making it more and more interesting. All good?”

Calum nods, hearing your cackles at Miranda’s attitude. “We’re all good.” She throws up a thumbs up and then slinks back into her office. Calum huffs at your giddy before turning back to the stairs. “Oh, shut up. She’ll be just as nice to you as she is to me.” 

“Sounds lovely.”

“Calum!” 

He turns at the sound of his name to see Miranda leaning out her door. She’s waving her arm as if that’ll get his attention faster. “Yes?” he calls out. 

“That 4:30 included you too. You’re free. I already checked.”

“Got it,” he hollers back in exchange. “Guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow too, in addition to Friday.”

“You were going to see me anyway tomorrow, because I work.”

“But I’ll see you longer tomorrow,” Calum corrects. 

“There is that too.” A small voice calls out from the background of your side of the phone. Calum listens intently to the soft voice as it calls out your name. “Yeah, for your birthday. Hey, Calum can I call you back? I’ve got to drop some stuff off with Teagan.”

“Yeah, absolutely you can. Tell her I said hi and happy birthday? If that’s okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll tell her.” From the background, he catches a gasp and faintly your voice floats up, “Got a special message for you, Teagan.” The line goes quiet before the special message is given, but he hopes it’s you telling your sister happy birthday from him. Part of him wants to feel deflated, upset that somehow you’d opted not to share this important news with him. But he knows, the bigger part knows, that he can’t let that ego win. Maybe you’d just gotten close enough to do that. Maybe there’s some other reason that the information is withheld. But Calum refuses, as he climbs into the elevator to let his ego get the best of him. 

He does wonder if he could get your sister something. If you’d be okay with him doing that and passing it along the next time you saw her. He knows it would most likely be very late, but still, he doesn’t want your siblings to think he doesn’t care about them. He does. But Calum knows getting to them means getting through you. It’s a much more challenging stage than it might seem. However, even if Calum wanted to get Teagen something he’d have not the slightest clue what to get her. What did she like? Was she into dolls? Did she like playing mad scientist instead? Was she into excavating bones of animals millions of years old? As much as the layers were peeling away to show Calum more of you, there was still a heart that was locked away. 

Calum gets so distracted with the searches--taking his time from tea sets to magic trick kits--that the photos feel like a different timeline until he walks down into the kitchen. The morning is bright and there’s a swelter of voices behind the doors. As he gets closer to the kitchen, he catches pieces. Though one voice rises about them all, with a sharp, Yeah, but with the prince? Followed behind it are whispers. It’s not how he imagined his morning might go, but Calum picks up into a jog to close the 20 feet. The door creaks open and as you hold out plates to other staff of food, everyone has a locked in gaze on you. They look more like children being told a story than what Calum imagined as predators locked in on prey. 

The sound of the door shifts the room. All eyes on you shift to him and now he feels it. The way the eyes widen and some let our poor attempts at stifled laughter. “Uh oh, Your Highness heard you talking shit, Val,” a brave voice quips up from the group. 

“I-uh-” Calum stutters. 

“Eat Declan, or you will be wearing that jam,” you return. 

The room falls into a cacophony of laughter. People slowly retreat into their seats. Eyes flickering between you and Calum. “I can go, sorry,” Calum offers. Perhaps, he should try to find time when you’re not around. Or maybe that would make it worse? He’s not sure. 

“Then I guess I’m eating the three scrambled eggs, six strips of bacon lightly crispy and fruit medley all by myself.” You hold the plate like an invitation. It is his usual time to get breakfast. He’d switched to evening workouts given the volume of work to be done. Minus the weekends--on the weekends Calum would do his best to get up early to get a good workout in if it’d been missed during the week. 

“I don’t want to intrude,” he counters. It might be better to wait for things to die down.  He’s not used to this caliber of staff in the morning. Though, he imagines now that if the pictures are getting around, the staff would of course want to know what they could know. They’d need to get to you in order to get information if they did want more. They certainly wouldn’t come to him. 

“You might’ve skipped over that when the door. I won’t offer again,” you warn, taking the fork from the plate and cutting into the eggs. 

“You don’t even like your eggs scrambled,” Calum concedes, crossing the threshold. And it’s true, you prefer sunny side up. Calum had learned mostly by watching how you prepared your own plate. 

“I can be convinced otherwise,” you hum, taking the tiny cut, hardly a divot in his plate, to your mouth. 

Calum takes the plate, skin feeling warm at the eyes watching from under their lashes. A mug of coffee--just a little brown but still dark--settles into his palm. There’s no way around the inevitable so Calum carries on to the table. The big table is clear, as the rest of the morning staff are huddled around the kitchen island and counter. With his plate settled though on the table, behind the group, he watches you. You move back to preparing food, pulling the scraps of paper from waiting hands. 

“Checks now or you’re not getting fed again until lunch,” you tease, collecting four more from the miniature crowd. 

He shouldn’t. And it’s less that he shouldn’t and more like he thinks it might be too much. But it’s what he’d normally do. Much like you did. You’d normally hand him a plate of breakfast. You’d hand him a cup of coffee just like he likes. And in return, he’d fetch a mug for you--a splash of milk, two creamers, sugar till the ancestors tell him to stop. He’d slip you two pieces of his bacon and get toast going if he has time. You’re a light eater in the morning, but he never wants to leave without you eating. 

Before Calum can convince himself otherwise though, he’s grabbing the mug--a clear one that he also gets for you--and adds coffee to it. He watches the dark color fade with the milk and creamer. He’s reaching over you to get the sugar and takes four spoonfuls to him. Then goes for a little extra because his gut tells him he can add a little bit more. When that’s the right color, he goes for the bread and takes out two slices. The dial is already set from all his previous mornings so he slots the slices in and starts the toaster.  Calum goes into the fridge, notices the jelly is still there and retrieves it. It’s a rhythm that he knows well. But  there’s no moment that Calum’s not acutely aware of the extra eyes on him. When the toaster pops, Calum plates the dark brown pieces next to the two slices of bacon and gives each of them a good spread of jelly. He sets it down--out of the way of your prepped ingredients, but close enough to you that you can get to it with ease. 

You reach for the mug almost instantly after the plate is settled. Calum waits for the three smacks you’ll give followed by a head nod and it’s how he knows it’s good. Your head tilts for a moment this time though. The smoke rises just a little from the bacon you’re cooking. “There’s more sugar than usual?”

“The ancestors told me to give a little more,” Calum answers. 

You nod, taking another sip and hum. “Tell them I said thank you.” You gnash into a piece of bacon and go back to your work. 

“God, they make breakfast for each other. It’s so cute I’m going to be sick.” Calum doesn’t know who said it, but it’s all the room needs. The tension seems to melt as the laughter bubbles. 

“When will it be my turn?” another voice quips.

Calum watches the grin on your face, though you're flipping over french toast and plating bacon, he can still see the amusement on your face because of the comments. This is what he wants for you. People who support you. There’s no malice here. Perhaps, that’s what you want too and why you asked him not to tell you about more pictures. Satisfied that you’re actually eating during your work, Calum slips back to his own food. Though he’d like to help, he’s sure he’d only really get in the way. 

“French toast, eggs, no bacon,” you call out. The hand shoots up to claim the plate. “Pancakes, no bacon, no eggs.” And down the list you go, calling out what you’ve got until the kitchen settles into the click of forks against ceramic plates. 

It seems to be a system--Calum’s not sure if it’s one that the staff has built long ago, or just one for today, but as each one finishes, they take their plates back to the sink, working in rounds to wash and dry and wash and dry. But it’s a little fascinating to watch each person know when it’s their turn to wash and then rotate to dry the dishes. It’s effortless work amongst the group.

“I can take the plate for you if you're done, Your Highness.”

“Oh, no, I’ve got it. Thank you,” Calum returns to the offer. 

There’s a moment of confusion, but it seems to settle quickly. The room empties the moment the doors open and Calum’s father enters. Though everyone greets him, it’s clear that everyone feels a bit like being in school having the teacher walk in. But you remain, turning to the counter where yet another waiting plate resides. 

“Seems like quite the commotion this morning,” his father quips, pausing at the kitchen table at his normal spot. He doesn’t sit just yet. 

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Calum returns. 

“Your Royal Majesty,” you greet Calum's father, setting the plate down to the table where the King usually sits. A cup of coffee follows it too. 

“Thank you. And I know we’ve yet to have more informal introductions, but please, do call me David.”

You nod. “Alright, well in that case, are we doing orange juice or water this morning, David?”

“Oh, I’ll get it in a moment. No need to worry. But do you think perhaps, I could steal a moment of your time?”

“Certainly,” you agree. Yet, you remain standing too. The table remains between two of you--Calum’s dad on the interior side closest to the wall the table sits near, Calum on the exterior side. 

“C’mon, sit for a minute,” David offers, waving to the seat across from him. You settle on the bench and slide across from David. 

Calum can only watch, unsure of what will transpire. He’s praying his father is nicer than the initial conversations they shared. They weren’t bad, yet somehow more tense than Calum imagined them going. 

“I know there’s probably much better times to do this,” David starts, settling into his seat. “But Joy’s much better at the planning than I am. I wanted to speak with you though. I don’t know what Calum tells you or what he doesn’t of course. But I’m sure you’re aware your position is unique. I only want my boy happy, but I musn’t be so blinded by that desire that I abandon my duties as his father. You’re a hard worker. You came to us with glowing reviews from all your previous employers. Came from pretty high places if I do say so myself. I’ve eaten at your old restaurant a time or two, most likely while you were working there too. Joy seems to approve of you very much. Yet, there’s still a lot none of us know. That worries me.”

“Dad, please,” Calum interjects. 

“Calum,” David warns. It only takes his name and Calum knows he can’t interject. He wants to save you. Because this is the same thing they’ve been circling privately for weeks now. Calum knows you’ll tell more when you’re ready--and given what he’s already learned there’s a lot more. But you’re not trying to be facetious. 

“I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. I want to be fair about this,” David continues directly to you.

You sit, unwavering. Calum watches over your face as you listen to his father and your breathing never hitches, you never shy away from the words. He inches his hand forward, a small sign that he’s still there. If you do see it, you never let on that you do. “What would you like to know?” It’s a simple question but Calum knows everything that comes behind it. Or at least, he knows the dam that’s going to be cracked. 

There’s a silence much too long and Calum turns to his dad. Perhaps, your direct attitude is something that even his father was prepared for. “Well, for starters, I guess it would be nice to know what brought you to us.”

“My parents found out where I was working before and that prompted me to start looking for a new job.”

Where his mother is perceptive, attune to what’s not being said, Calum knows his father is a little more clumsy. And as his father speaks, Calum can’t help but cringe. “Is that a bad thing?”

“It is.”

“But Joy says you still interact with your siblings--Charlie and Teagan, right?”

“Yes,” you nod. “I’m only involved with my siblings.”

“So why not your parents?”

Even to Calum it comes out a little harsh, a little unsure of whether it’s meant to be caring or stern. “Dad,” Calum returns. “I know you want answers, but there’s better tones.”

His father sputters for a moment before uttering an apology. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be hostile.”

“No, I understand,” you answer. “My parents drank horrible and they’re not good drunks either. I don’t know how many odd years it was because I got pulled by Child Services to go into foster care at 14. And I stayed in foster care until 18. I got the adult assistance, abysmal as it was, if I can say. Got myself into school, and now I’m here. Because a few years ago, my parents found out where I was working.”

“And your siblings? Did they get pulled too?”

“They were born after I was placed into the system. There’s a twenty year gap between me and Charlie. Twenty-two between me and Teagan.”

“Are they well taken care of? Your siblings?”

“They seem to be. There’s a family vacation in two weeks, apparently that they’re very excited for.”

Calum knows where this is going. He can feel the gears in his father’s head moving. “We can’t assume,” he whispers. “You can’t assume.”

“I mean, if their siblings are being taken care of,” his father offers softly. 

“I spent a lot of years wondering what I’d do if I ever saw my parents again,” you interject. Both Calum and his father turn to face you now. “The truth is, as much as I am fucking angry at them for what they did to me--hardly fed, barely bathed, more money spent on booze, physical and violent arguments right in front of me--I’m also not a child anymore. They had the chance to be parents to me when I needed them and they chose the bottle. You may not like to here this, David, but the reality is that adults choose to become parents. You made the choice to become a parent just like my parents did. But it is not the child's responsibility to make parents act like parents. It’s not a child's job to beg for care. But if parents choose not to care for their children, then children must make choices for themselves.”

You lean into the table, elbows and forearms settling into the wood. Your eyes are watery, Calum can see the tears collecting on your lashes. Your voice quakes as you continue on. “As you know, all choices have a consequence. My parents want a relationship with me. I see it. It burns them when I don’t go inside of the house for more than twenty minutes. They hate that I don’t call them Mom and Dad. I do not call them on their birthdays. I only speak to them to speak to Charlie and Teagan. And I begged for my parents when Child Services took me away. I cried for them. They had every chance to get sober and get me. I heard it in the meetings through the door. They came four times to get me but wouldn’t get help. They wouldn’t fucking stop drinking so they could get me back. They made their choices and I have made mine.”

“And if they’re sorry? And if they want to make it right?” his dad asks. 

You shrug. “As long as they continue to take care of Charlie and Teagan like they should, like good parents, I’ll be happy. But there’s nothing left I can give to them or that they can give to me.”

“I’m sorry your parents weren’t there. They should’ve been. They should’ve been there.”

You nod, sniffling back most likely snot and tears. Calum pushes a napkin into your hand before moving out from his side of the table. “I’m okay, Calum.”

It’s not enough to stop him though, as he draws up a glass of water and slips down next to you, a hand rubbing at your back. “You are hard headed, you know,” you tease. Your laughter is thick and wet as it leaves you. 

“I’ve been told a time or two,” Calum offers, pushing the glass closer to you. You take the hint and take a sip. Calum takes your free hand under the table into both of his, swallowing your hand and squeezing tight. He’s here. Even if you really are doing the heavy lifting, Calum’s not going anywhere. It’s a weighty resolution that falls into the pit of Calum’s stomach. He’s not going anywhere. 

“I wish it were a more scandalous story, David. Wish I could tell you I really had an elaborate scheme to trick your son into dating me, hell maybe even falling in love just to try and stage a coup,” you joke. 

“Hell, you’d still have time,” his  father jokes. “Thank you. For giving me grace. And hearing me out.”

“You care, like you’re supposed to as a father. I get it. Is-is there anything else? Need my time and place of birth to do my birth chart?”

A head shake no comes first.n“No, no I don’t think I need to go that far. But I’d like to get this recipe. I’ve finally gotten word it’s yours and you’re tight lipped.”

You laugh, squeezing Calum’s hands too. “It’s a family recipe, I’m afraid.”

The pure look of offense is clear on his father’s face is wide before it slides down into mischief. “I’ll get it soon enough. Pretty sure of it.”

“You go from integrating them to now suddenly being sure you’re going to get a secret recipe?” Calum questions with a laugh. 

“No, son, a family recipe. There is a difference. A difference you can make.”

“A confident man,” you tease. “I hate to do this but I do have a few more things to get squared away before my shifts end. And I don’t want to keep you from your breakfast.”

“Of course, of course. Thanks again.”

You nod. “Of course.” 

As you start to turn out from the table, Calum tugs just a little on your hand. You face him, the grin a little tight no doubt from the drying tracks of tears on your face. “Yeah?”

“You going home after this?”

“Maybe? I do have to be ready for Miranda at 4:30 later,” you answer. 

“Stay. Won’t have to drive all the way home and then back. Saving on gas isn’t so terrible.”

You cup his cheek and Calum nuzzles just a little into the warmth. He hasn’t shaved in a few days and he’s sure the scratch may not be entirely pleasant. “You’re fishing.”

“Just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’ve got more days of being okay under my belt than not being okay. But I’ll stay. And I really do need to get the last of the dishes cleaned, though. So, do I have permission to finish up my job before Janet fires me?”

Calum snorts, holding your hand still to press a kiss to your palm. “Fine.  You do have a valid excuse. But I’ll clean up if you want to go freshen up first.”

“Oh, I’ve--”

Calum raises a brow. “I have washed dishes before. I distinctly remember my mother getting me on a step stool in this very kitchen so she could teach me. It won’t kill me.”

“I don’t want you to be late.”

Calum shrugs. “We’re in a stand still in votes right now. I really don’t think they’ll be made if I’m five minutes late.”

“Three if you let me escape to the bathroom now. And take the extra two as a change for another time.”

“Go,” Calum commands with a laugh. His lips find your palm again in another kiss--it’s brief and faint that even Calum’s not sure if he reached your skin or not. “Clock’s ticking.”

“Thank you, sire.”

Calum won’t forget that tease, and he will make sure he gets clarity on if you mean the double entendre. He’s sure you do though. His father laughs a little. Before Calum can question what is funny, his father is speaking, “Oh, I’m getting that recipe within the next year tops.”

“If I discover you and Mum have an engagement pool, I swear.”

There’s only a shrug. But Calum gathers his plate and mug before there’s any further discussions. Maybe his father liked you more than Calum originally estimated. Though, Calum’s not entirely upset about his father’s apprehension. It just frustrated Calum that he couldn’t get this information organically. He wants you to trust me. It’s important that the information is shared in the moments where you feel safest to share them.  Does it bother you? Calum hopes it doesn’t bother you. That you don’t feel cornered. But he’d understand if you did. 

“You don’t think I was too harsh, do you?” 

Calum stops his work on the fork and turns to face his father. “I could answer that, but it seems like maybe you already have a feeling about it.”

“I know you care about them. But I needed to know.”

“You have every right to worry, Dad. You do. But you have to trust me. If I make a mistake, then that’s on me. I know it gets infinitely more complicated because of our status. But please trust me. I don’t want to compound on their feelings like they don’t belong. And I hate to feel like a child. I know I haven’t told you a lot but there’s a lot that I didn’t think was my place to share.”

“Could I have a bit of your expertise though? I feel like maybe I need to make it up.”

Calum nods, his exhale rolling down his shoulders. “Stick to Dad jokes. I’ve got a feeling those might be a winner.”

“Perhaps a round of golf?” his father offers. 

“Well, I don’t know how to play,” you state. Calum turns, not realizing how quickly you’d returned back to the kitchen. Your hand brushes along his back, but your focus is on his father. “So if you’re up for the challenge of teaching me then I guess I could be convinced.”

It seems to be enough of an agreement that it brings a smile to his father’s face. “I taught Calum.”

“I thought that was soccer,” you tease. 

“Oh I couldn’t teach that. But we’ll schedule something, yeah?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“How much of that did you hear?” Calum questions in a whisper. You check his hip with yours and he goes with ease. 

“Just enough,” you answer, taking the fork Calum had paused on. Calum’s not sure what just enough means, but he takes it that you’ve heard what you needed to hear. Picking up the drying towel, Calum starts to dry off the last bits of the dishes. “I plan on stealing a shirt,” you comment. “Since I’m now staying. If you have a preference on which one I take, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

“Premeditated theft? I’ll have you know I ought to call the authorities,” Calum laughs. 

“Yet you won’t.”

“But I could. Anything in the middle two drawers of my black dresser are free game though.”

“I look forward to unearthing your dirty secrets. What kind of skeletons do you have in those drawers?”

Calum snickers, placing the mug he’s dried off back into the cabinet. The conversation is mostly in whispers though, in the relatively quiet kitchen Calum is sure it’s not as private as he’s hoping it to be. But nevertheless, he won’t let the volley fall. There is a score to keep, a game to win. Carrying back to the dish rack, Calum plucks the plate fingers noticing that it’s hardly wet at all. 

“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” Calum whispers. 

You snort at the comment, shoulders shaking with the laughter you don’t release loudly. “Oh God. Don’t you have some stuffy meeting to get ready for? Some Prime Ministers to coddle?”

He should get going. He did need to ensure that his notes were in order. But that doesn’t mean he can’t take a few extra seconds to make you laugh, to ensure he leaves you on a good note after a rough bump in the day. “I left instructions with the Nanny,” Calum quips, slotting the plate away. “But I probably should get ready.”

“Hope today is a kind one,” you return. 

“Hope you sleep well.” 

They feel adjacent to prayers, if not prayers directly to the universe over each other. But Calum hopes that whomever in the universe is in charge of listening to such things takes note of the prayers you two have dropped for each other. Calum thinks about it while slipping into his clothes, buttoning the shirt up and over the under shirt, he whispers more and more hopes for you. He hopes that you sleep so deeply that he has to wake you. He hopes that your muscles don’t ache when you settle in for sleep and when you wake. He hopes the water is the right pressure for your shower, and the right temperature. He hopes that the sheets are just cool enough to lull you to sleep and warm with your heat to keep you under. He hopes that don’t think twice about needing to use his mouth wash or his body wash. He hopes that the pillow is always cool for you. 

_______________________________________

When your morning shift coworkers return, officially on the clock and taking over for the lunch preparation, you think you’ll get cornered again. Not that you truly felt cornered in the morning. You did have your job to focus on and that was reason enough for people to give you space. However, you wondered if your answers of taking things slow and you’ll have to take me to court would actually placate the crowd. It seems to have. Though the smiles that come your way carry an air of mischief, no one asks more questions. You’re grateful for it. Though you know it might only be a matter of time before someone doesn’t back off. 

You’ll have to talk to Calum, see what the meeting today with Miranda brings about. The thought lingers through in the back of your head. Perhaps, you’ll need to find another place to work. Though, if you do, will that really solve the problem? Perhaps, you’ll always be doomed just a little to have to field such invasiness. Those thoughts are much too heavy for your brain at this moment. You hadn’t anticipated David bringing up that topic of conversation earlier in the day. Though you always knew Calum’s father was the most apprehensive of his parents, you’d wondered if you’d get a bit more grace. 

Your mind is lagging behind your body, all of the energy spent on getting you through your tasks and now you’ve got nothing left. Though you slept well before your shift, you’re ready for your brain to shut off again. Your parents are human too, you know that. You know they will not be perfect beings. But you can’t help the wounded child that still howls within you. The thing about all of this is that you were much too tired to consider what your parents might want from you. Having spent so much of what felt like should’ve been your youth in survival mode, you’re desperate to leave it behind. What your parents did, or didn’t do, what your parents want and don’t want don’t matter anymore. You’re your own person. 

You take the elevators up--you won’t punish yourself with the stairs today. As the door slip shut, you recline your head into the metal walls. As silly as it is, you find yourself thinking back to the first time you ascended the levels with Calum. How he pressed in close to you, hands slipping around your body and kissing you like he wouldn’t be breathing if he didn’t kiss you. You felt wanted, desired. Someone wanted you. Someone still wants you. Your skin is still bruised along your chest from Calum’s kisses. Though it was only two days, they’re lingering, much to Calum’s delight. 

It’s an addictive feeling. A high that you want to consume you constantly. You want to be wanted. And you want Calum too. Though the lines are cheesy sometimes, and God is he good with a cheesy line, he listens. He takes you so gently when you need it, tucked into his chest and you know you’re safe. What a feeling to have in the presence of another, to feel safe. You’re glad Calum was there when his father questioned you. You know you had someone, even if they didn’t get it, that would keep you safe.

The water is cooler. Something to cut through the heat of your chef’s coat. The coolness makes you sigh under the running water. You only stand there for a moment, letting the water run down your body as you try and let it wash down all the heaviness of the morning. You want all of it to fall into the drains. There will be plenty to worry about when you meet with Miranda. There will be plenty to worry about when you take Calum to the park for your date. Sure any date has been months in the making, but you worry in the back of your brain that this will also somehow get photographed. Maybe there’s no reason for it. Maybe even if you do get photographed there will be nothing you could’ve done to prevent it. 

With the shower done and into fresh undergarments--a stash you brought over to last week for purposes like this-- and Calum’s body wash scent clinging to your skin, you crawl up into the bed. The sheets smell fresh, though you can catch the faint, faint lingering of Calum’s scent into the threads. Perhaps, they’re only a day out from being washed. You’re not really sure. You don’t really care. You just sink into the feeling. That like Calum would be coming into the room anytime now. Like his arms will drape over you. Like it’ll just be the rise and fall of your chest into his. 

Your phone rattles from the stand and you push from the mattress with a slight start. You think you’ll need to change the tune, but damn does this one do the job. You clear the crust from your eyes and flop back down into the mattress. Light filters into the room and you turn towards it. Your phone finally falls silent as you press the volume buttons on the side. 

“Did I wake you?”

You shake your head at Calum’s question. Your eyes clear after another blink and see the black suit he’s dawned--head to toe black it seems. “No, my alarm just went off. Also, if you are calling the cops on me for when I raid your drawers, you need to also call to lock yourself up for being so damn handsome.”

Calum laughs, the breath brushing over your temple. “You’re getting five more minutes, then I’m going to have to drag you out of bed.”

“No,” you mutter, pressing your face deeper into the pillow. 

“Yes.” It’s all Calum says before he presses a kiss to your skin. The bed releases his weight. You watch him walk around the bed until he’s behind you. You can only hear the drawers pull open and then close. Another one opens and closes before it falls relatively silent. You lay, arms wound around the pillow only for a moment more before you push up fully. 

You watch the dagger tattoo on his bicep as it flexes, working the dress shirt off his torso. “I never said thanks this morning. But I do appreciate your extra time,” you confess to Calum’s back. 

Calum turns, threading one arm into a powder blue button up sleeve. His eyes are soft as he looks over you. “You can be honest. Did my dad go too far?”

“David’s no Joy,” you answer. While you’re sure the intentions are in the right place, there’s still a little bit of a sting in your chest. You hadn’t realized how important it was to his father. Yet, you weren’t ready to peel that band aid off fully. You were picking at the corners, the bandage was peeling, but not not ready. 

Calum’s exhaled laughter doesn’t feel all that humorous. “Yeah, he’s sometimes a bit of a bulldozer. I’m sorry again.”

“Not your fault,” you concede, pulling the sheets away from your body. “But I appreciate the sentiment.” 

Your descent from the bed is quiet before you head over to the black dresser. You’ve never previously been into Calum’s clothing. But the first drawer slides open and the stacks stare back up at you. One top of one pile is a black t-shirt, with Drop Dead screened onto the front. You lift it to get a look below and notice another black t-shirt that peers back across it in red comic sans is the word: watermelon. You snort at the shirt and peel up another layer. A Nine Inch Nail t-shirt you assume by the NIN monogram into the chest. 

“Into the band tee, I see,” you comment as you pull up more and more music themed t-shirts.

“I like music, sue me,” Calum laughs. 

You move over to another pile, briefly to take in a white t-shirt with Taste Testers on the front. There’s more words, but you’re not sure what the full shirt says. You go down another and spot a cute dog printed onto the material. You’d never seen a dog on the grounds, or heard of one. The question burns your throat, but you wonder if the cute gray, white, and black face staring back at you is a childhood pet lost to the unfortunate test of time. Around you, you catch the scent of Calum’s cologne. Light, but still musky. You think he might’ve refreshed on it. 

“You’d tell me if I was pushing a hard line, right?” you ask, turning to face Calum who’s know shuffling out of his attached bathroom. 

“Yeah, I would. What’s up?”

You pull out the white t-shirt with the dog. “Hard line?” you ask, wanting to know if you can even press the topic. 

“Duke,” Calum answers. “He was a grumpy old man when he got up there, but I loved him. I nicknamed him baby grandpa in his last few years. We had him until I was about nineteen or so. I think Mum and Dad got him when I was three.”

“A solid sixteen years, huh?”

“The best sixteen years,” Calum smiles. It’s wobbly. You can hear it in his voice. Placing the shirt back into the drawer, you reach for the Drop Dead t-shirt and dawn it with no thought. It’s holy, across the shoulders, back, chest, and torso, almost swallowing your torso, but you don’t think twice about it before crossing the room to give Calum a hug. 

“I’m glad it was the best,” you whisper into his neck. His face is pressed into your shoulder. Calum’s curling around your body in the hold but you don’t say much else, as you rub your hand up and down his spine. 

There was no space or time or energy for a pet when you were younger. Though you loved hanging out with your friend’s pets, something you understood long before you had the language for it, was that there was just no time for that kind of thing for you. Your parents weren’t capable of that then. 

“Thank you,” Calum returns to you in a whisper. It vibrates up through the meat of your shoulder. Grief, you’ve learned, is not linear. It doesn’t really shrink but other things get bigger around it. You are able to put grief into the context of your life but it never loses its own gravity either. 

You finish getting dressed, slipping into the jeans you’d been in previously. Just as you slip into clean socks and back into your shoes, Calum starts to kneel in front of you. “What are you doing?” you laugh, watching him chase after your feet. You turn up into his desk to hide the laces away. 

“Just give me your foot,” Calum laughs, fingers wrapping around your ankles. He’s got a firm enough grip that he could force it you assume. But he doesn’t. “We can’t be late. Miranda will have my head.”

You definitely don’t want to be late either. So you turn. Calum takes your left foot and begins twisting the laces around each other. You can’t really help either, can’t bring your foot up to tie your right and you can’t bend over. “Is there anything I need to know about Miranda?” you ask. 

“Not too tight?” Calum asks in return. You shake your head no and he moves onto the right shoe. “Miranda’s going to be doing most of the talking. If she asks a question, there’s an 80% chance she doesn’t actually need an answer.”

“The other twenty?”

“That’s a toss up. Either she's asking because she does or because she wants to catch you in a lie.”

“Ah, so there’s no reason not to attempt to answer lest I make myself an asshole.”

Calum grins up at you, finished now with your shoes. “Exactly.”

The two of you file out of his room and you let Calum direct the way. You’re still apprehensive about the handholding, not that you don’t love the physical contact, but it feels like it’s a spotlight following the two of you. You cannot deny each other. Though, you think that’s the point for Calum. He doesn’t want to deny you--as simple as that. But you carry on down to the elevators hand in hand. 

Calum squeezes your hand as the elevator pauses to settle before the doors open. “You look good in my clothes.”

“You said the same thing about me being in your room.”

“No,” Calum laughs, “I said you in my bedroom was a sight I could get used to. I fear if you wear any more of my clothing, I will die. I won’t be able to recover.”

You scoff, all playful tufts of laughter escaping you. “I am CPR certified.”

“Good to know.”

No sooner than Calum can knock the door creaks open. “Yes, yes, the lovely couple. C’mon in.” Miranda’s just as tall as Calum if not a bit taller. And you’ve never been insecure about your height, but standing there you wonder if she’s the lead on PR simply because she could make grown men feel like they could be swallowed up. But Miranda moves from the door seemingly uncaring if you two actually enter or not. Calum waves you in front of you and you cross the threshold to hear Miranda still going, “I apologize for the abruptness of this matter. But gossip waits for no one.”

You settle into the seat across from her desk and Calum follows suit next to you. “I’m starting to realize,” you return. 

“I’ve heard there was a buzz this morning among some staff. You’re okay? Nothing bad happened?”

“No,” you answer simply but it’s not like you’ve talked at all. 

“Good. I think I would’ve heard if it had. But I had to make sure. So, first thing first, social medias--all I could muster up for you seems to be a well abandoned Twitter account. Hasn’t been used in 8 years. No Facebook. No Instagram. No abandoned SnapChat. No kik. No WhatsApp. I did check your number from your employee file. I checked AO3, Tumblr, TikTok. I mean I went to the edges of the earth. You’re a ghost,” Miranda laughs. “Well almost.”

“It’s-it’s for my safety,” you return. 

Miranda nods, grabbing a tablet from her desk and bringing it almost right up to her face. Your eyes flicker around to see if you can spot glasses but you don’t. Not on her desk at least. “Yes, well. That makes my job that more interesting.”

“Who do you communicate the most with? You’d say?” Miranda asks. 

“Oh, uh, Calum. And there’s my roommates, but we’re mostly just cordial.”

“Hmm, didn’t know about the roommates. How have they been? Any strange behaviors?”

“No? We really only see each other in passing because of my work schedule.”

Miranda hums and then places the tablet down. Her arms fold over her chest as she reclines back into the seat. “Parents? That who you’re hiding from?”

“Yes.”

“Do you speak with them at all?”

“As necessary,” you answer. 

“For I assume the two siblings listed in your file.” You nod at what is clearly not a question but you want to affirm what Miranda’s already aware of. “Alright, well, regardless if you don’t have plans to talk to too many people, we still need you to go through the media training. It’s going to be boring. But it will be important. The thing to keep in mind is if you do say something, they’ll use it against you. If you don’t  say something, they’ll use it against you. It is the nature of the beast.”

“Figured as much,” you comment, mostly to yourself. Though you’d avoided looking for those photos, you’re sure you can imagine what they might say. 

“The thing we’re focusing efforts on is that this will hit like wildfire. The prince dating is international fucking news. Our angle for the time being is to keep quiet. There’s nothing that has to come out about this from us. Who Calum decides to date is not really much of our concern. But given your position as staff, we do have to be extremely careful. I’m still waiting on HR’s final position on what your next steps. Can you believe that? Told them it was urgent and they still told me fuck off. Ridiculous.”

“Next steps as in if I’ll need to find a new job?”

“In essence, yes, depending on how HR sees this they don’t want any lawsuits.”

“Whoa,” Calum interjects. He’d remained mostly quiet. You'd assume nothing about what Miranda had been saying was shocking or new to him. Until now, of course. Until now. “We can’t really be assuming that they can just find a new job on a whim.”

“Honestly, Calum, HR can make such assumptions. I have asked for reasonable accommodations should they come to a decision that requires new employment. But that’s just a risk. It would be a conflict of interest legally speaking. If you wish to continue to date, then the long and short is that someone’s interest must realign,” Miranda explains. 

It’s the way she says it, like she’s not sure what else Calum expects, that makes you realize that in the grand scheme of things, perhaps he had a more optimistic view on this situation than you. You’d had it festering in the back of your mind that change would have to come should you wish to continue to date Calum. And that you do want, you want to keep dating Calum. Because it’s the best damn thing you've had in a long time. 

Calum pushes forward in his seat and you reach out for his knee. It stills him just enough for you to speak first. “I can start looking now.” It burns to say those words. You're not trying to make a scene though. You don't need to lose it in here in front of Miranda.

“Baby, what a second? Is there even any place for you to go? And we don’t even know what they’re classifying as a reasonable accommodation. You’ve been here for years.”

“I still have some connections. I could try and go back to my old job if really necessary. I could do something else should the situation demand it. But as someone who’s dealt with HR are few times, let me be the first to tell you HR is there to protect the company. HR will protect you over me. In a heartbeat.” It's bile on your tongue, but it's true. It's all fucking true. They'll protect Calum and their asses before yours.

His brows furrow and you know it’s true anger, you know Calum is truly frustrated. But you wish his glasses weren’t so rose colored. Perhaps, this would be the way to scratch those lenses. “It’s not fair,” he huffs. 

You snort. “And who said anything about this being fair?”

“It should be fair,” he retorts. 

“It should,” you concede. It should be fair but it’s not. It will never be fair. You turn back to Miranda. “Will this be mailed to me as a letter? What HR concludes?”

Miranda nods. “I’ll make sure you get a copy. But you’ll start looking now?” She’s gone to her computer, shaking the mouse to get the machine to awake from slumber. 

“Yes, I’ll start looking now. When will media training be?”

Miranda slides in close to the screen. “I really ought to unearth those reading glasses. For fuck sake. But, to answer your question, dear, it’s going to be next week. Janet’s still working on getting your Monday shift covered for you. But you’re looking at Tuesday, 11 AM sharp. It’ll go until 4PM that day. Lunch will be provided to you. During your search, please use us though. I know it’s not fair, but Janet adores you and if you can please use her as a reference. I’m having an intern compile a list of up and coming restaurants in the area. They may be looking for some extra help.”

You know the dangers of up and coming. They’ll hire bodies just to have people. “Any places a bit more established?” you ask. 

“Our criteria were businesses in operation for at least 3 years. I told her the sweet spot might be about 5 or so. We don’t want to throw you to the wolves,” Miranda’s face falls her nod sympathetic. 

“It certainly still seems like we are,” Calum retorts. 

“I do wish I could give you sunshine and rainbows and unicorns. But that’s not the real world works. So, I’m waiting for HR. And until then, it’s best that we prepare for the worst.”

You nod. Prepare for the worst, but it doesn't temper the frustration in your stomach.

“So, Tuesday is media training for you. Calum, you’ll need a refresher after we get into breaks. Prepare. Our position is quiet. We don’t want to make waves until HR tells us how to proceed. This does mean that you won’t be able to talk to your roommates about it," Miranda states.

“A gag order?” Calum questions. 

Miranda continues on though. “We will need to vet your roommates again. I think they got a call when you first applied. Once you get a new position, things may open up a bit more from there. And Calum, if it were a gag order, you’d see the NDA on my desk. I’m trusting the two of you about this. It’s not fun to deliver this news. But it is what it is. Because we’re playing the silent game we have to make sure there will be no leaks internally.”

You’re nodding, you can feel it. But it feels a bit numb, like the world is going to white noise out around you soon. 

Miranda’s continuing on. “When we call your roommates, we’ll just say it’s a renewal process--run of the mill. Maybe don’t boast about looking for a new job. And if you do land something fast, we can all just say that you were ready to move on and no ruffled feathers.”

You do have rent to pay. You’d like to at least get through the end of the month so you can pay that. Not only that, but you’ll miss the good health insurance too. But perhaps, it could give you and Calum normal times to hang out, dates may be more frequent. It may be worth looking at the positives to ensure you don’t find this as a reason to run. You know you could. You know you could say that you can’t afford to lose this job. You know you can say that this is all fucked. But would you be able to come back from that? If you run now, are you leaving behind everything? 

You’re not even sure when or how you get out of Miranda's office. But you know you’re in the hallway, listening to other doors close. Shoes strike the floor. In the blurry field of your vision, you can see briefcases and backpacks bouncing around you. “This is all so fucked,” you huff. “It’s all so fucked up.” The words hiss off your teeth and tongue. 

Even if you know you can land on your feet from a fall, you don’t even want to fall. It’s not even your own doing. You’re having to fall because of a push. The easy thing is to push away. You can feel your gut coiling, like it wants to push you to run away. But you keep telling yourself that if you run now, there may be no coming back. Though you believed it was sometimes better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission, you could only imagine the hurt you’d cause. Calum stands in front of you with a transparent beating heart and you don’t have the guts, nor the desire, to break it. 

“I don’t like this one bit,” you huff out. “Nothing else is going to pay as good as this. And let me tell you, this job is still not paying all that great. But it’s better than where I was.”

“I can talk to someone,” Calum offers. “There’s gotta be something.”

“I was thinking about it,” you start, taking a few steps from Miranda’s door. “I was thinking that I might have to switch jobs just to keep things kosher. But now it’s not even voluntary. I have to leave.”

Warmth envelopes your hand. You turn into Calum, squeezing at his hand as you do. “What do you mean you thought about it?” he asks. 

“I wondered if it would be a good idea to leave now before things got more serious so that we could go out, do things, not have to hide so much. But I wanted- I wanted it to be a conversation. I wanted to have a say in that ask that I at least get sixty days or something to make the transition. But if HR’s already discussing that, I don’t know, it just makes me angry. The choice was taken from me.”

“We can still go to them.”

The thing you won’t do is beg. Not for a job. Not for people that probably don’t really care about you at all. It’s pride--a stupid emotion--but yet, yout skin still crawls at the prospect. “I-I don’t think I’m thinking straight right now,” you answer. It could be productive to go to HR, but even you already know the shit they do is not for employee benefit. It may turn out to be like talking to a brick wall. 

“Okay. We’ll figure this out. We’ll figure this out,” Calum offers. 

You nod. “We will. But that doesn’t mean you get to go pulling strings behind my back, please.”

“We always figure it out,” Calum returns, kissing the top of your forehead. It’s not lost on your that he doesn’t promise not to get involved solely. You could push it. But then you’d be making Calum a liar. And you don’t want to do that. You don’t want to make him into a liar. 

But there’s still the picnic date. Even if next week turns your world upside down, assuming HR finalizes by the weekend, you still have today. You’ve got tomorrow and things for right now are the same as they’ve been over the last four months. It feels way too soon to be making changes to jobs and worrying about the gossip over the entertainment world but this is the word Calum’s in. You’ll have to be worried about it no matter how soon it feels. 

“Are you doing anything tonight?” Calum asks. 

“Yes,” you return, “Preparing for our date.”

“Preparing? What do you have planned?”

You laugh. “I’m not telling you a second sooner sir. But I do need to run and grab a few things this evening for it.”

“And let me guess, I don’t get any hints do I? No sneak peaks?”

“Nope, none,” you return. 

Calum groans, but nods his acceptance. “You’ll let me know when you get home though, right?”

“Of course,” you return. 

The steps are heavy after you collect your belongings from Calum’s room. Your gut is still a choppy sea. Frustration keeps a tight hold, but you do your best to keep it at bay. Life was not always fair--a lesson you were far from a stranger to. Though, it never makes it any easier to handle. But you try and focus on the date--the picnic of Calum’s favorite that you’ll have. Your favorites mixed in too. You think about the painting you’ll show to him. You think about the song Calum will sing to you.

[the-enzyme]

Closer, "clearer" photos of my Very Cool DZS-007 head sculpt, borrowing my Ken's DAM-toys body. He's painted a bit differently than the original release from 2015, if I recall correctly. I got that HS as a birthday gift, or Xmas gift from my BFF a few years ago. I had lost hope of ever finding a legit one for a decent price, so I had stopped looking, then I got him as a gift. Now I got this one myself to repaint, but I'm kind of second guessing myself a little. I love the sculpt, I think it's beautiful. However, I am not sure I love how they painted this one. I like the way they did the eyebrows better on the newer release, which is called "Holy Man Returns." I believe it is a character from a licensed Chinese computer game. However, I feel the first one looks more like a CGI character, and this one looks a bit too close to a real-life celebrity, and I am not a fan of that. I like the first release paint apps a lot better as a whole, particularly the eyes, lips and shading/blushing.

On the other hand, I got this one specifically for repainting, but this one is also really nicely painted, so I am a bit torn. I feel like I will end up repainting him anyway, because that's the reason why I got him, even if I regret it later. I can always try getting another head-sculpt loose like this one, but holey-freaking heck, these are so expensive already second market (he just barely released recently!). Kind of annoying that niche hobbies get such insane prices as there are more people interested in them, when I recall loose HS going for so cheap in the old days. (old-grumpy-fart-complaining-about-life!)

Last shot is a comparison between my own original release head sculpt of the "Holy Man" figure, and this second release. They both came with a sculpt with the eyes closed for the "deluxe" set, but I never had any intention of getting those heads. I kind of wanted to get one this time, but not at the crazy prices these are going for. I don't do fake copies, so the only way to get a legit one is for an eye off the face, and I don't feel like I can justify it. When it's just a pretty-looking sculpt for me, and not one based on a character I love -- just the opened eyed one is enough, I feel like.

[princesscatherinemiddleton]

....i just think that if you're going to go all in on an awareness campaign that it needs to be better thought-through, more specific, targeted, etc. than this is turning out to be. what's supposed to be my takeaway from all of this, aside from knowing that our early years impact us as adults? what are the action items? how does this get built upon? all i'm seeing right now are photo-ops and really generic platitudes. kp, and by extension kate herself, pretty consistently over-egg it when they talk about her work, which just sets her up for complaints and disappointment. if you're just going to stick to an awareness campaign, i don't think i'd be out there briefing the press about how revolutionary a project is going to be....like let your work speak for itself.

what's supposed to be my takeaway from all of this, aside from knowing that our early years impact us as adults? - that's literally the takeaway. our early years impact us. they are important. we need to do more to support people from their conception to their 5th birthday. time to petition to government.

what are the action items? how does this get built upon? - it's phase 1. I've said 1000000 times that this should have started earlier but they could not have been clearer that it is the first phase. every campaign of this nature should start with awareness. If we get to 2053 and there's been nothing else, I'll apologise but I fully believe there will be another phase, which will move beyond awareness

kp, and by extension kate herself, pretty consistently over-egg it when they talk about her work, which just sets her up for complaints and disappointment - the press? yes. I personally wouldn't describe kmiddy as someone who overeggs her own work. kp? perhaps. kate? no

if you're just going to stick to an awareness campaign, i don't think i'd be out there briefing the press about how revolutionary a project is going to be - I kind of feel like I'm screaming into the void but this is phase one. who says she's just going to stick to an awareness campaign? and even if she does, it's working? I was at the cinema on saturday and layla's story played and people whispered about it, about the fact it's "kate middleton's thing about the early years". there's the fact that searches for early years have increased in the past week. same for sure start, centres which were incredible sources of support for young families, but have been decimated by the tories. there's the fact that early years provision which is currently deemed requires improvement or less have been sent training resources in the past week.

look, I've said I would have done things differently - from the length of time it took to get to this stage, to the campaign, to the roll out itself - but I'm a kmiddy gal first and foremost and maybe I'm an optimist and maybe I want less hate but I can't hate a campaign after 5 days