#(will i ever be able/“allowed” to actually write that thing? dunno!)

[nostalgia-tblr]

I had another fic idea and the brain was like "no, that's too fluffy and romantic and YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WRITE NICE THINGS, PEOPLE WOULD JUDGE YOU" but then I went "but what if it was kind of... comedy fluff?" and brain went "...yeah, okay, if you really must." Which I fucking HATE! Why can't I write nice things, brain?! Everyone else is allowed to! FFS, it's fanfiction, it doesn't have to be ~deep~ or any of that shit!

This has actually been a bit of an issue when I'm trying to write The WIP because while I told myself yeah sure go ahead and write the massively self-indulgent epically long (by my own odd standards) fic but still sometimes I get stuck because I'm not "allowed" to write something that appeals to me and my own sometimes niche interests??

Like angst I can do because that's "proper" somehow? WTF is that about? It's not proper! It's still daft! And comedy I'm allowed because I dunno apparently if it will make someone laugh that means it has "value"? It's very annoying, I don't like it.

Do other people have this? How do you deal with it? You'd think after all this time I'd be okay with writing any old shit that I want to. If anything it might be worse now. I remember years ago I could tell myself "Look, if you've spelled most of it correctly then it's already in like the better half of all the fanfic on the internet" which isn't really TRUE but I could go along with that and let myself write whatever-the-fuck I wanted to.

You know how many of us go "I'll write this fucked up thing... but I'll post it as Anon"? I get that with fluffy fic ideas as well. Or with things that are "too shippy" (WTF?) It's just such a stupid and weird form of self-criticism and it bothers me a lot.

[zan0tix]

May I just say I really really appreciate your approach to and respect for the transfemininity embedded in Homestuck. Like the fact that you depict Jake as a kind of "genderfuck" (for lack of a better word) character without trying to divorce that from transfemininity as so many others do, as well as being able to depict Roxy with certain clocky characteristics without disregarding her femininity or making it feel fetish-y, is all really admirable in my eyes. It gets extremely frustrating seeing large swathes of the fandom constantly trying to separate the story of Homestuck from transfemininity despite it having a transfem enby author, so I really appreciate that you don't shy away from it in your art :)

I am so glad!!!!! Its something ive Always noticed in like every fandom since i first got onto the internet the disparity between the amount of transfems i knew vs how often their story got to be uplifted in fandom spaces or get to be celebrated how transmascs did considering how queer dominated they are but then i grew up and realised how badly male centric queer spaces are too😭

Homestuck is one of the spaces that has a big amount of transfems openly engaging in fandom activities and that makes me really happy to see! since i often see gross rhetoric from transmascs or cis women about fandom spaces abt “who is allowed” and “fandom being a safe space” cough blatant transmisogyny (sobs everywhere its so bad)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PPL BRUSH PAST HUSSIE BEING TRANS SO OFTEN ISNT THAT INSANE. To me it reframes homestuck how the creators of the matrix being trans does. Like I dunno maybe that informed the works presentation of gender somehow. Maybe all the commentary and critique and displays of frustration at the contradictory nature of gender but especially trying to fit “being a man” in society came from somewhere when they were writing it 🤔🤔🤔 hussie said it herself that alot of homestuck was just stream of consciousness. Everything that comes out of daves mouth near the end seemed very plausible to be a reflection of hussies own journey realising that Actually these boundaries of what defines A Good Man and A Good Woman are ridiculous and no person can possibly live up to that no matter what were told from birth.

But i try my best to reflect the innate transfemininity of homestuck and the majority of its cast, its something integral to the works themes and just the community who built it! It saddens me how skittish other transmascs are about engaging with or portraying the transfeminine stories when its just. Practically textual. And all you need to do is Listen and empathise. I love learning how other feminine people see themselves in this story like how often do you get such a menagerie of in depth fem characters. And i love seeing what the experiences transfems see echoed in homestuck are because its all such insightful stuff About femininity and its beauty and its ills all at once. Roxy..kanaya.. wipes tear from my eye.

I want to actively include and celebrate transfem features and bodies as much as transmasc ones get to be around here and i am glad my jake and roxy do feel that way 🥹🥹 my aim with my designs is to make them feel like some everyday people youd see, no fetishisation/sexualisation or demonisation, just Existing and appreciating. Because i know how much it can mean to see yourself in something and for that to be treated with care and kindness. Its why i create in the first place! Because of how others creations gave me that comfort when i couldnt find it elsewhere

I feel similarly about how people portray fat women or just like. Women in general. its sad how badly the whole sexualisation = acceptance warps how people portray things fatness or transfem features. Never ever saying these things arent hot or sexy or to be appreciated. Duh. I think how i portray jake says enough abt what i think of that LOL just that It feels like its the only way people try and show theyre accepting? Which just feels so gross and dehumanising the only way they think to display they feel empathy is through saying “Yeah i can get off to people like you”😭

Rlly bad in society in general so also in the homestuck space. Worlds hardest challenge is liking the alpha kids. Im so sorry for what they do to you jane and roxy🥲🥲🥲 Its baffling because Homestuck is Prime Example Numero Uno of how to humanise characters. Just display them being people; their thoughts, their feelings, their insecurities, their passions, their woes, their loves, their losses. So much can be communicated through how a character speaks with their friends.

I wana do that for jake and roxy! They get to be dimensional too! I like showing their laughs and their sorrows, just them Existing with the people around them. They get to be a part of the lighthearted comedy just as the rest of them do. They get to be a part of all the gender and sexuality insanity going on in their friend group, can point out their flaws and mistakes and insecurities. I dunno its rlly not that hard to just empathise with them and want to tell their stories.

I am so invested in the raw unabashed Humanity of homestuck. Its just one person pouring their brain contents into this huge thing and it displays the best and the worst and the absurdity and the questions. Its so interesting and hussies transness IS JUST BAKED INTO IT. Thus the characters contain that too and it kinda stinks of transmisogyny to throw that out!

YAPPING TOO MUCH OMG but i rlly appreciate this ask🫶🫶🫶makes me so happy to hear

[miguelsslvt]

miguel o'hara x cheshire cat! spider! reader drabble

word count: 580

TW: angst, fluff, literally makes no sense

A/N: basically as i'm writing a goth girl! reader smut, i was listening to the playlist 'alice by heart' and i just thought of a cheshire cat! spider! reader comforting a lost in grief miguel? i dunno, it probs dont even make sense. but maybe when i'm free next i'll write a smut fic of miguel going to wonderland to capture an anomaly and she ran into cheshire cat who offers him some 'distractions'? ;) anyways posting goth girl! reader smut soon!!! welcome to the club!! ^^

y/n l/n. alias? cheshire spider. from earth-444, also known as 'wonderland'. you were a skilled spider, but very irritating to miguel. he had allowed you into spider society purely for your good agility and strength. agility of a cat, powers of a spider. and the fact that you could disappear and reappear whenever you please was useful too.

on a day you wanted to bug and annoy miguel, you walked in at a bad time. he was looking through past images and videos of his daughter.

'..who's that?' you asked, as miguel's eyes widened in shock and anger. 'get out.' he said bluntly. 'no. who is that?' you asked. 'get out cheshire!' miguel snapped. 'no miguel i want to know who that is.' 'didn't curiosity ever kill the cat?!' 'tell me.' you snapped back. 'i'm sick to death of you cheshire! you just dk nothing but bug everyone, i'm sick to death!!' miguel yelled angrily, as you looked completely unphased. in fact, you smiled.

'looks like i hit a soft spot.' you said, smirking. you disappeared suddenly, your smiling disappearing last until it first reappeared beside the current video of miguel and his daughter playing together. '..y'know i'm actually good with grief?' you said. miguel raised an angry eyebrow at that. 'what?' he said, confused slightly. 'what, you think none of us cared when alice left us?' you said, raising an eyebrow. '..that's nothing compared to my pain.' miguel spat coldly. 'senseless, heartless. you won't ever give this girl's soul up?' you asked, tilting your head, miguel gave up arguing. he sighed, frustrated. '..my daughter. gabriella. i..i killed her.' miguel said quietly.

you looked down, nodding as you listened. '..was it a multiversal collapse?' you asked, as miguel nodded, looking down. '..some things fall away. you just have to accept them.' you said. 'how am i supposed so accept something so devastating?' miguel asked, sounding offended. '..just cry and it's a crisis. if you let your grief sink in, you'll be able to move forward. losing a loved one is incredibly hard, the mock turtles told me all about that, but you're living in shock here. your heart is cold. how can you protect the multiverse if you're so cold and distant on yourself, let alone your team-mates?' you said, raising an eyebrow.

miguel was shocked. for once, what you said made, some sort of sense. no mockery, no jokes, no riddle. did you genuinely want to help him..?

'i may not know how you feel,, but i'm sure that i can try to help you out of this rut.' you smiled softly. '..why are you so.. different?' miguel asked wearily. 'you're so mischievous, so snarky and sneaky, why?' miguel asked. 'hm.. i suppose that's how i was raised. wonderland is very different to nueva york.' you stated, sitting on his desk table.

'you mustn't grow up, you mustn't disobey the queen, you mustn't be late for tea..' you rambled, before smiling again. 'you mustn't hide within your shell of grief.' that caught miguel off guard. he let out a small chuckle.

'you're right, wonderland is very different to nueva york.' he said, looking down. you two sat in silence for a few moments, but it was.. comforting. the silence spoke thousands of words. it was a.. good silence. miguel hadn't heard of a 'good silence' in a while.

'..maybe you could come visit wonderland?' you offered, smirking. 'no way, cheshire.' miguel replied, breaking a small smile.

[oceansssblue]

I love Mermay! May I request a mer!reader x Sailor/Pirate!Fives? The reader is a siren and is technically supposed to be luring Fives and his friends to their deaths, but ends up not doing so after getting into a convo with him. When someone (Palpatine, Fox, random guy, whoever you want) does try to kill Fives, the reader is able to save him. Happy ending please!

Hi there! Yay! As I have said before, I will be writing all my requests, but MERMAY! requests have priority over others even though they have been requested on a later note!

Dear anon, ty for the request! We're def going for a "cruel" badass siren that will be to her surprise captivated with our charming pirate Fives. Palpatine is obviously the bad guy.

I don't know much about sailing and i'm trying to do a past era alternative universe thing, so ignore any incongruences and that.

I hope you like it!

Xx,

Sky.

"A CHANGE OF CURRENT"

FIVES/MER!FREADER 📩💔💖

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF DEATH, BLOOD, WOUNDS, CRUELTY, SIRENS KILLING/EATING HUMANS, BITES, SCARS. REFERENCES TO ECHO'S TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. DON'T GET SCARED. THIS IS MOSTLY FANTASY&MISTERY&FLUFF.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Being friends with the Captain doesn't allow you to lounge around, Fives" a voice almost identical to his teases him at his back.

The man in question turns around and grins. Echo has a half-fond, half-exasperated tiny little smile on his face. He's dressed in a similar way to him; thin linnen shirt with a deep opened v-neck and rolled up-pants, just in different tones of blue.

"Actually, it allows me to do exactly that" Fives retorts cheekily. Before Echo has a chance to put him into place, always the responsible of the two twins, he adds. "And I'll let you know lounging is a very important task on the "79's".

Echo arches an eyebrow. He crosses his arms in front of his chest; his hook just grazing the still pale skin of his left peck. Too much time spent trapped away from the sun.

"Is that so?" His brother humours him. The sun is hovering right upon them, bringing darker shades on Echo's already angular face. He's slowly filling out a bit, though, and for that Fives is glad. "How does that work, exactly?"

Fives tilts his head to the side. Echo always thought one of his twin's radiant smiles could iluminate any ship at the darkest of nights. That's the way he could eventually find the way back home, back to the 79's; Fives.

"Keeping a good mood is crutial to a ship's crew" his twin continues, going on one of his tangents. "It makes everyone work better, faster. Reduces fatigue and dangerous thoughts like plotting a mutiny".

Sometimes Echo wonders if Fives has all of this little stupid dialogues planned in his head just because, waiting for their chance to come up. The silliness of his twin's mind never ceases to surprise him; even after so many years of living together travelling through the seven seas.

"Like any of us would ever plot something of the sorts against Rex" Echo rolls his eyes, amused.

Fives shrugs, big smile still in his tanned face. They used to look so similar, Fives and him, before the accident. Now there are just... resemblances. Similarities. Probably the thing he hates the most about what happened –besides loosing his limbs–; how they had visually differentiated him so much of his twin, of his other half. For all Fives could be tiring and obnoxious, Echo knows he couldn't live without him. Even though getting used to his new body has been incredibly hard, he's glad for this second chance with him.

"I dunno' " Fives voice quickly brings him back to present time. He mimicks something dropping onto his head with his hands. "I think I'd look great with Captain Rex's hat".

Fives imitates the Captain's fierce expression and seriousness, still holding onto his imaginary pirate hat; and Echo can't keep the chuckles inside.

"You're a jokester, Fives".

His twin grins again.

"Don't make me repeat why that's important, now".

Echo smiles. Softly, this time.

Around them, at this time of the early afternoon, right after lunch, the crew of the 79' is surprisingly quiet and calm. The sea is peaceful today as well; nothing like the day before or the previous night. They're delving into dangerous waters, now. Places that don't quite appear on the map.

"What were you doing here anyways, all alone?" Echo asks.

Fives hums distractedly and glances in front of him again, at the sea; one leg staying inside the ship and the other dangling over board. The two of them have always been a little reckless like that; specially Fives.

"Thought I heard something" he whispers, then turns back to his twin again. His eyes suddenly look innocently young again, and his twin is suddenly reminded of past memories, of the two of them enlisting in the 79' when they were barely kids. "Do you think sirens really exist, brother?"

Echo sighs. They have all heard stories; but no one on board has ever personally seen one. He doesn't really know what to believe; could they be truly real, or are they just stories invented by lonely men that live by the sea?

"I don't know, Fives" he answers, going for honesty.

Fives hums, scanning the waters again; looking for something it's not quite there.

"If they do, do you think they're truly evil, like the stories tell?"

Echo stays quiet for some minutes. Then, he glances down at his hook; at the wood that replaces his legs. The skin that stays in contact with them feels sore and pained; he really should get some rest. He sighs, tired.

"I don't think so. If they do exist, and they do have something against us, I guess they'd just want to kill us directly, eliminate what they consider a danger and threat for their waters" he pauses and breathes in deeply. "I don't think they'd slowly torture us like humans do. We're the cruelest beings on land or not".

Fives golden eyes silently travel back to Echo's. He reads between the lines. He understands his point.

"You're probably right" he quietly answers, the moment unexpectedly delicate now. He shakes his head and smiles. Softer, gentle, now. "Come on. Let's go shut some eye".

Fives stands up with renewed energy, abandoning heavy feelings behind; and pats Echo's back affectionately. His twin nods knowingly, and follows him through the ship. Even though it doesn't mean he doesn't feel just as deeply –Maker knows he does–, Fives has never been one to hold up emotional conversations for too much time. They weigh heavy in his heart.

Echo takes his space on the thin cot –if you could call a bunch of old shredded clothes and blankets pushed together that– beside him and closes his eyes. Both of them, that night, dream of sirens and mermaids and all those stories the sailors spread around. They aren't aware how close they are to see some of those stories become alive.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You've been following them for two days now. Your job is to patrol the very limits of your world with the human's sea; and you were instantly alerted of their presence when they arrived, that enourmous ship of them difficult to miss.

It's not the biggest one you've seen. You had a fight with another one once, years ago; it's wood almost a dark black and it's sails a vibrant red. You still remember its name; Death Star. An aproppiate name for such an evil captain, such an evil ship. That fight was the main reason you had been assigned to keep all humans out of this waters; they just take and take, leaving nothing but destruction behind. You're not about to lose anyone else; not to the unforgiving, beautiful, yet terrifying sea, and definitively not to one of them.

This humans don't really seem to be looking for anything in particular. You had waited patiently, trying to find out their needs and wants; but reached no logical conclusion. They just seem to be... Wandering. Exploring. Ah, perhaps they're the curious ones. Many humans seem to be, just in the way young sirens are in their first years; wanting to swim through every single corner of the sea. See the world with their own eyes, and not through what elders tell them. You had been like that as well, in the past.

Mm. No matter. You're not putting the lifes of your people at risk just because these ones are looking fairly innocent. You know how quickly the tide can change directions, how surprising and dangerous the currents can be; and you're not going to let yourself be dragged by it. You'll do what you have to do; observe, wait patiently, and at night, lure them in. Your tongue wraps delicately around your sharp canines, excitement running through your veins.

You swim deeper into the sea below the ship. You almost feel impatient to play with them.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You curse under your breath, quickly hiding underwater when he almost catches sight of you while scanning the sea. You've seen this particular human before; often staring at the water or the horizon, a contemplative look on his face. He's a dreamer, this one; sometimes looking younger than you suppose he really is, others quickly snapping back to reality and jumping to his work with surprising skill. He's handsome as humans go; bronze skin looking smooth under the unforgiving sun and trained muscles peaking under his semi-transparent shirt. He has a strong jaw and nose, expressive eyebrows and golden eyes; a trait that somehow seems common with his fellow soldiers, maybe sharing the same origin, perhaps even some of them being family.

Watching him carefully under the distortion of the dark blue water, you're developed hearing catch a second voice entering the scene; and the human turns around in his precarious position on the border of the ship. This one is named "79's". It must be a reference to something you can't quite place; or perhaps a year of relevance to them.

Human tongue is quite easy to learn, contrary to your native Mando'a; so you have no trouble following the conversation even underwater. Both men hold affection clear in their voice; indicating a closer kind of relationship than two normal sailors on the same ship would have. The second voice sounds more mature to you; perhaps simply because this first human –Fives, you learn, what a curious name for a person– doesn't seem to take life very seriously. But then his voice drops, quietly asking something that makes your heart beat faster inside your chest; if your people are real.

It's a common thing to ponder between sailors. Humans like the tingling excitement of being a bit afraid; of imagining situations that may never end up happening in their heads. But no, this one doesn't sound at all afraid; just curious, cautious. When he asks his brother –you confirm– if he thinks stories about sirens are real, of what they do to humans, anger spreads like a fire inside of you. Oh, yes, because they don't do anything of the sorts to other creatures on this earth. The second voice –Echo's– answers in a quiet, delicate way; and you have to swim closer to surface just to take a look at him. You suddenly put things together; something horribly traumatic must have happened to his human, for him to look like that. You can't imagine living without your tail. It saddens you, inevitably; he's still handsome even like this, he would have been even prettier without his injuries. He would look like... Fives.

You blink, a bit confused at the direction of your own thoughts. Fives own voice tinges with understanding and fondness. He pats his brother affectionately, and then forgets about the sea; both of them quietly retiring for now, their steps echoing against the wood as they wook away.

You're left with a weird feeling inside of you. This two seemed... Kind. It isn't a word you usually associate with humans; but here you are.

You shake your head, mumbling to yourself. You won't let them fool you. Humans still carry all that darkness inside of them; that evil. You want none of that in your home, your sea.

Tomorrow, you say to yourself.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Fives smiles fondly at the sight of little 'Soka staring at the full moon in front of them. It's as big as they've ever seen it; very close to the sea, iluminating a silvery path towards the 79's in the otherwise dark night.

Ashoka is pure energy. The girl is hiperactive even at hours like this, were most of the crew has already gone to sleep; too excited to lay still in bed in the cabin she shares with Rex. The Captain of the 79's had adopted her many years ago, accepted her in his ship with a blink of an eye after finding out Ashoka had been abandoned in land by Captain Windu no less –an ex-friend and current enemy of Rex–; the small girl quickly falling under his wing like his own daughter. Fives can't understand how anyone could leave behind a kid like that; Ashoka is the only girl aboard, but she is like their own personal ray of sunlight. Hope. She's a special kid; has a perfect eye on when to pursue their enemies and when to abandon or change routes, an innate pirate even as young as she is. Fives can only try to imagine what things she would be able to do with more age and experience.

For now, though, 'Soka's just a kid. And kids do silly things; like playfully sticking out her tongue and precariously balancing her steps in the baupress of the 79's. Fives rolles his eyes good-naturatedly. He isn't too hard on the kid; he had been fearless and oblivious to danger once too. Hell, he still is, sometimes. It's just his way of being; free. He doesn't want to die by Rex hands if something happened to her, though, so he motions down with a flick of his hand.

"Get your feet down here, m' lady" he jokes, then extends his hand to hers in a courteous offer.

'Soka laughs, a sound that echoes softly in the silence of the night.

"Mm. I don't know if I shall accept such proposition, good sir" she answers, standing up in the thin baupress as if it is nothing.

Her dark black hair, looking almost blue, flies freely with the wind even with her white bandana wrapped around it. Her skin is as tanned as his, freckles tracing the outlines of the white scars that mark her otherwise perfect face. Like Fives and Echo, she has basically grown up on a moving ship.

"I'd like to keep my head, my lady, if you'd be so kind to help me" Fives insists, eyes turning to a gentle warning.

Ashoka rolls her big blue eyes.

"Okay..." she grumbles, then, abandoning the theatricality.

She turns her direction with flowless agility and starts her careful way back to him.

The ship rocks dangerously in the water –the sea not completely peaceful today–, and Ashoka stops in surprise and fear, holding her balance as best as she can. Fives also holds his breath. The 79's stops moving and they both sigh in relief, staring at each other well aware of the risks.

The girl chuckles nervously.

"Welp, that was a close one." She guiltily admits, restarting her way towards him. "I keep forgetting this waters are dangerous and not exactly what we're used to, huh?"

Fives doesn't tear his eyes from her.

"Yeah" he agrees. "Maybe you should leave your acrobatics for when we're back on the GAR sea..."

Big, angry waves splashes against the botton of the ship again; a sudden move that disestabilises Ashoka for a second time. It all happens too fast; the girl's right feet steps just on the edge of the baupress, losing balance, and her weight leans too much over one side with a terrified gasp. By the time Fives has rushed forward in a desperate attempt to catch her hand, Ashoka has already been devoured by the dark see with a dooming splash.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You smirk darkly when the sound of a body hitting the surface of the water is transmitted under the waves. You almost want to laugh at the way the small human desperately moves his legs to try to stay afloat; the sea isn't looking good for creatures without fins tonight, and it is obvious that this female doesn't even know how to properly swim even in calm circumstances. Maybe it's just because she's small, you're not sure.

You strike at her –harshly tugging her leg down and sinking her under the surface– right when another body drops into the sea. You snarl, irritated by the interuption, and turn around, scanning the water around you. Just five or six meters away, there he is; the human named Fives, the dreamer, the one who almost discovered you ahead of time.

This one does now how to swim. Even though his eyes are clearly pannicked, searching for her fellow human companion among the darkness of the black waves, his legs calmly move just enough to keep him afloat; conserving very much needed energy. His clothes are stuck to his body; both humans look so utterly small in the openness of the water...

The small female human screams, terrified, still not grasping her new reality; and the man shouts her name in a hoarse voice, squinting and desperately trying to find her. The girl goes to shout again; and your clawed hand quickly reaches up to close around her throat –not to really cut her breathing of, but as a warning–. You're not known for your patience, and you really can't stand creatures screeching.

Fives golden eyes, still having a shine to them with the moonlight, finally turns to your direction; and his whole face morphs into wonder, fear and shock, quickly taking in your claws and sharp teeth, the gills on the side of your neck and the dangerous swoosh of the powerful tail behind you. The small girl trembles in your strong arms; you glance down at her, bored but curious at the same time. She really is the smallest human you have crossed pass with. Are those marks that shine white on her face scars?

"Please" Fives voice barely picks up with the sounds of the waves and the wind. "You don't want to hurt her".

His words and his firm stare stuns you for a second. Then, you laugh out loud, the sound being carried away by the howling wind.

You haven't used the human tongue for so long... Since that fight. You'd be kind to humour this human for now. Perhaps getting to know them for a bit before eliminating them would help you understand them better and kill them easier in the future. For as small as humans are, they do make interesting big weapons.

"Don't I?" You smirk, tongue wrapping teasingly around your rigth canine. You caress the girl's hair with the hand that is not carefully holding her against her throat. You push your nose up to her neck and smell; then tilt your face back to the male. "Mm. Perhaps not hurt her. Just quickly kill her, no pain".

Fives trembles in the cold of the sea. The girl too. You grin.

"Why?" Is his pained answer. He's trying to remain calm, you can see that, even if his insides live in complete turmoil. "To eat her?"

You make a face.

"No. Human is not my favorite kind of dish" you inmediately answer, then shrug desinterested. "You kill us, I kill you first. It's the sea's law, sailor".

Fives frowns.

"We kill you? I didn't even know you truly existed until now" he points out.

Ah, humans are such natural spokesperson. Always finding an argument no matter their cause.

"You're people" you correct, drawing a claw down the girls face, not enough to draw blood from it, just a distracted caress.

Fives face... Pouts.

"That's pretty unfair, if I may say so. You can't blame a whole species in the name of a few".

You let your gaze find his eyes again. He's so determined it's entertaining to watch.

"You claim you're different?" You ask, observing him.

He nods.

You can see the fatigue starting to creep onto him. You're holding the freezing girl with your own strength, but he's on his own. You wonder how much longer would he be able to stay afloat. Maybe you should just wait and watch him sink.

"See those scars on Ashoka's face?" His words pull your attention back at her white marks. She tries to stay still while you study her. "They were made by bad people. Cruel humans. My brother Echo suffered by others as well. And yet here we are. I love Ashoka as if she were my own sister. I love my twin. I'd do everything to protect them. I don't want to cause pain to them".

You huf.

"That's easy. No one wants to hurt people that are dear to them. What about other's that aren't? Would you care?"

Fives is stubborn. You'll give him that.

"I wouldn't purposedly hurt others for the sake of doing so. Or if there's any other way. Look, there... Must be some bad sirens too. People who just enjoy killing and hunting indefense creatures just because they feel joy watching them suffer; not a matter of protecting their home or territory. And there must be good ones" he breathes raggedly. "It's the same with humans. There is evil and kindness in every living being. If you'd only gave us a chance, you'd be able to see it".

You hum. He makes a point. The excitement melts down. Your curiosity doesn't. Are all humans this interesting?

"What is your Captain looking for in this waters, Fives?"

His mouth opens in surprise.

"You..."

"Know you?" You chuckle, moving your tail slowly. "Mm. I've been studying you for days, I know some things. The answer, sailor?"

Fives forces himself to push through his shock and confussion to answer you.

"We've been paid handsomely to explore this part of the Unkown Seas. We have a cartographer aboard, he's been working nonstop since we crossed the GAR frontier."

You hum, recalling those maps the humans use to sail the seas without getting too lost of their way.

"So there's nothing you want from us?" You insist.

To your shock, Fives smiles; a small, almost cheeky tug of lips.

"Well, I do have a lot of questions about sirens now that I've seen you, but no, not really. Like I said, we didn't even know you truly existed. We just want to make our trip and return to land safely".

You observe him in silence. You feel the girls energy draining too; blinking heavily.

"Mm" you hum, pushing her against his arms in a second. Fives stares at you, wide eyed, not expecting you to move that fast. "You can call for your human friends to help, sailor. I've decided I will just keep an eye on your ship for now".

Then, before Fives has the chance to answer, you tear your hands away from the girl and dissapear under the sea.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Fives receives the reprimand of his life at Rex's personal delivery. He's task with leaving the ship shiny up and down; Ashoka also punished along him. If there's something the Captain of the 79's doesn't show, it's mercy. Oh, he's polite and gentle enough, if the situation calls for it; but he doesn't let things slip by. He's always aware, always scanning his crew with his amber eyes; and even though both 'Soka and Fives had tried to make the incident sound less of a danger, just an unimportant accident, there's really no way going around the fact that they had had a very close, dangerous encounter with a Siren.

Rex doesn't believe them at first. But then he sees the light marks on Ashoka's neck; there's nothing deep or worrying, but they're definitely shaped like some kind of claws, and he know's his fair number of fish and sharks to know they can't have done anything of the sort. Fives is guilty, yes, but he seems honest when he retells the experience. Ashoka too, a pleading look of forgiveness in her big blue eyes. Rex has no other option than to accept the story as truth.

Everyone on board of the 79's has the chance to see said siren with their own eyes a pair of days later. It's at night, so no one really sees her for quite some time; til Ashoka suddenly gasps and points out towards the see with wonder –and a sliver of fear– in her eyes. Rex quickly squints and stares in surprise. Well, that's a siren all right. The Captain and his men only have time to observe her for a minute before she smirks and plunges down into the water, her tail a silent goodbye.

Fives grins and elbows Echo.

"See? What a stalker. I think she likes me" he jokes, and Echo rolls his eyes pushing him with an exasperated smile.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Morning, dear siren" Fives greets you, carefully using the ropes to lower himself with his feet against the outside of the ship's structure, still on his shining the 79's duty. "How has sleep being under there?"

You splash him with your tail in irritation. There's no peace with the sailor around; and he has developed the annoying habit of periodically coming to talk to you.

Fives gasps with the cold water drenching his clothes; but his face quickly morphs from surprise to cheerful amusement.

"Why, thank you. I did notice I had started to smell too" he then smirks and studies your body up and down in a way that makes you as mad as nervous. "Darling, if you just wanted to see me wet, though... There's better ways we can enjoy together."

Even though there's a blush fighting it's way through your face, you keep your expresion neutral and narrow your eyes at him.

"You're the most annoying human I've ever met".

Five grins; as if your words were a personal compliment for him.

"You're magnificent company as well, dear siren" he retorts, unbothered.

You tilt your head, glancing up at him. It's both funny and irritating the way this human talks to you. He should fear you; you could jump up right now and kill him in a blink, and yet he's always like this around you. Curious, awed, and cautious while being impossibly and purposedly irritating as well. You wonder if it's his weird human way of making friends.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Fives reintroduces a wary Ashoka to you. It's only sensitive for her to be cautious; after all, you did have your claws around her neck not so long ago. After Fives' reassurance and a few patient words on your part, though, she quickly leaves the past behind; and watches Fives' careless and friendly interaction with you with bright eyes.

You grow fond of her as the days pass. It surprises you the way the girl seems atuned to other creatures of the sea; smaller ones like rain-fishes and seahorses always curiously coming up to meet her. You've heard of people like her before; humans with a special conection to the sea, with an instinctual understanding of it. Your people believe humans too came from the sea; and some just happen to conserve traits of their real origins more than others. If so, Ashoka is definitively one of them; and perhaps any of these sailors that seem for some reason persistent on spending more time at sea than in true land.

One late afternoon you ask Fives of this; of his will of travelling through the seas. You ask him wether he misses land, other human civilizations and things; but Fives shruggs with a smile. He tells you he likes it here, aboard on the 79's with his brothers, his family; and opens up about his own past as well. You listen to him mesmerised; feeling again like a kid whose being told interesting stories of lands far away.

After Fives finishes his and Echo's story –their misfortune making a strong feeling of protectiveness soar inside of you–, he glances at you with a tilt of his head, suddenly quiet and pensive.

"Plus" he continues, voice barely a whisper. "There's a certain peace you can't find anywhere else but the sea".

Even though his words are carefully soft and his demeanour almost shy –very uncharasteristal of him–, his bright eyes are full of heavy emotions; almost wanting to tell you a story different than what his words tell you. Almost whispering to you there's something more to his words than what they say.

You sink under the surface of the sea so only your eyes are peaking above the waves; needing the comfort of the water to hold his stare, this sudden shift on the atmosphere.

Fives hums, and you take a last look at him before dissapearing under the sea, running away from the human who's starting to make you feel things you haven't –and shouldn't– felt before.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Rutine makes you complacent. You get so relaxed at the knowledge that the 79's is no risk to you or your species you forget to stay vigilant; forget that they're not the only possible danger at the sea.

It happens at night; when your senses are dulled by sleep, your body curled in a tight space between the rocks at the bottom of the sea. Your return to consciousnes is a slow and lazy process. You open your mouth wide before momentarily clenching your teeth; the rest of your body muscles tensing and relaxing as well with your tiny stretch. Your eyes open and you focus on your surroundings; it doesn't feel like you've slept more than a pair of hours, and you usually don't have a problem to shut the eye throughout the whole night. Something must have awaken you subsconciously. You've long learned to trust your instintcs, so you decide to explore the sea around your little safe spot for the night before trying to get some more sleep. Maybe there's a predator around here.

It's when you swim away from the rocks you've hid in when you inmediately notice what's wrong; your too far away from the surface for the water to feel agitated here, but when you glance up, you see the usually dark ocean lit up in orange and red. The inmediate thought of the humans –of Ashoka and Fives– being in danger crosses your mind; and you're swimming up, up, up, before you're able to realise it yourself.

Your head peaks through the surface of the water and you can't help but gasp, eyes widenned in fear. The 79's wrecked. Besides it... So is the Death Star. Both ships have been fighting for who knows how long and you were peacefully asleep. It fills you with a dangerous wave of guilt; and unstopable anger. This is the ship that cost you the live of some of your best friends. This is the reason your people is no longer friendly towards humans; the pain of the past reflected on scars and lost ones. Some part of you is afraid –terrified– of facing said captain and crew again; the other part of you feels ravenous. This is your chance of revenge.

You sink under the water and sing. It's a song every siren child is taught by their elders; a call for help no one ever ignores. Sirens will stop at nothing for their people, their pods. Your voice carries easily through the water; and you hear a distant echo answering you. You know it's only a matter of time your people arrive. You'll help however you can in the mean time.

Your trained eyes and senses zoom in the fight aboard of the 79's. The men of the Death Star are dressed in black, like a bad omen; the colourful splashes belonging to Captain Rex' men. Both ships aren't the only battlefield; some are even fighting in the water, perhaps after pushing each other over board, some swinging their blades on top of smaller life-boats and lost planks of woods. The repair for what's left of both ships would be slow and costly.

You sink under the waves and move fast; jumping and dragging the 79's enemies with you underwater, drowning them or sinking your claws in their vulnerable throats, their screams futile under the water.

You can't see Fives or Ashoka yet; but just as the first of your fellow sirens arrive, you see Palpatine and Rex. They're fighting on the Death Star; blades swinging at each other while they expertly balance on the edge of the ship. You stop right below them and stare intently upwards; trying to catch the Captain's attention.

You do. Rex' eyes flicker downwards; making contact with yours. He quickly goes back to fighting against Captain Palpatine –how such an old man can move that fast you'll never know– and you wait patiently, licking your lips. You know Rex has catched on your idea and you only need to give him some time to bring him to you.

It's not a difficult move. With the knowledge that you'll be there to push him again back to safety and simultaneously kill his enemy, Rex throws his own body weight against Palpatine with all his strength and they both fall into the sea.

You almost see it happening in slow motion, such is your desire to claw your way through him. You're closing your hand around his throat in a blink, as soon as his body crashes against the waves; eyes shining and jaw opening to show your teeth while you push your face close to his. You want him to have a good look at you before you kill him.

"This is for Qui, Plo and Aayla" you tell him, eyes burning in hatred and vengance, his pathetic tugs at your hands only fueling your resolve. "And for those you'll never be able to hurt again".

You don't let him speak his last words. He doesn't deserve it; and he's not going to rat his way out of this. You snarl and sink your sharp teeth in his neck, closing your jaw before vicously pulling back and tearing his throat open mercilessly.

The carcass of his body floats away in the sea.

You turn to Captain Rex, scarlet blood dripping down your chin. He's not scared; but almost proud and relieved as he nods at you. You nod back and quickly help him get to the 79's again, reuniting with your people and organizising the counter-attack.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Once Palpatine is out of the way, the rest of his forces crumbles easily. In a matter of an hour, the few survivors of the Death Star scramble away in the remaning of their ship. You chuckle darkly. You know it's all for the enjoyment of your people; they'll do a slow hunt over the next couple of days, kill them one by one. Take their own personal revenge.

There's a conmotion up on the 79's. Rex is there, and so is Echo and Ashoka, the last two leaning down on the floor next to... Fives.

"What's wrong?" You quickly voice up from your place on the sea. "Is he okay?"

Captain Rex glances down at you worriedly.

"Blade sunk into his liver. He's loosing a lot of blood very quickly" he turns to look back to Echo and Ashoka. His expression saddens. "I... Don't think he has much time left".

Your heart starts beating out of your chest.

Fives, even gravely injured, lets out a wet laugh and jokes about it.

"I always thought you were a tad dramatic, sir".

Echo snaps at him, still squeezing his hand. You understand the sentiment. Now is not the time.

"Shut the fuck up, Fives".

You know he's scared. Everyone is scared. Echo, Ashoka, Fives, Rex... Even yourself. You've never felt this scared.

"B-bring him down" you whisper, then clear your voice and repeat yourself. "Maybe I can do something to help him".

"What can you do to help him?" Echo laughs, the kind of maniac sounding laugh that comes from a place of pure panic and terror from losing a loved one. "You're what, going to sing a song and magically cure him?"

It would be surprising to know that yes, that's...

"Something like that, yeah" you whisper, lost in your own feelings and thoughts.

You feel some of the other sirens splashing and moving their tails underwater hesitantly, wary. Nervously.

"Sister..." the voice of your friend Kid calls you from somewhere at your back.

You glance back at him. You know what he's going to tell you. You take a deep breath.

"I want to do it" you answer him, and everyone else.

They stay in silence, acepting your decission. It's a sacred thing for your species; for all sirens. The air feels heavy with understanding and expectations.

"Bring him down" you ask again, in the quietness of the night, and Rex gently squeezes Echo's shoulder before putting his faith on you and carefully laying Fives down in the last life-boat.

His brothers slowly lower it down til it softly contacts with the surface of the water and the small boat floats peacefully with the small waves. Two sirens quickly move to take a carefull hold of it so it doesn't drift away.

Fives turns his head to the side to look at you; hovering besides the boat with your claws lightly grassping the wood at the sides of it, head peaking over the water just enough to be able to look at him.

"Hey there, gorgeous" he smiles, and such brightness sends another painful dart to your heart. "Here to give me a goodbye kiss?"

Your own smile is wet with tears. It makes you let out a wet chuckle too. You haven't cried in... So many years.

"You should have thought of this strategy before" you decide to indulge him in his joke.

You know he's scared even if he doesn't want it to show. It males your decision easier; to know he's such a good person he doesn't want to make this more difficult for the people that woud be forced to watch him go.

Even though you feel almost eager for it, the need crawling up your throat, you're still afraid yourself. You've only got one chance for this. What if... It doesn't work?

You feel Kid's hand gently dropping on your shoulder, giving you the strength you need for this. You nod to yourself. The rest of the sirens form a circle around you; as tradition tells. They'll make sure nothing interrupts this sacred moment between you and Fives. Your hands tremble as you carefully place them on top of Fives' stomach wound. He makes a whimpered sound of pain and trembles, scared confused eyes quickly searching yours.

You look at him, soft.

"Trust me" you whisper. "And don't stop looking at me".

Fives doesn't understand what's happening, what's going to happen, but relaxes and nods. He can feel the exhaustion creeping in on him, the tempting feeling to close his eyes and surrender to the darkness. He focuses on you with the last of his strength.

You stop holding yourself back and let your voice sing your Song. You have never practiced it before; it's something that simply can't be, as it's not written before the moment arrives without announcement. It's instinctual, as simple and easy as breathing, and yet sounds so magical to all of those who hear it.

The first notes echoes in the silence of the night. It starts very quiet, almost a hum between your pressed lips, that slowly and unhurriesly turns into a whisper full of longing and melancholy. Fives is a human and you're a siren. It's not going to be easy. You have a feeling he won't care.

The Song fills with some softer, happier notes; lively and changing, more rythmical than the soft melody from before. A tiny smile makes it over to your face.

Fives is still looking at you. He wouldn't have been able to tear his eyes from you even if he tried. You're raw magic; raw beauty. And the sounds leaving your lips... He had never listened to anything so breathtaking in his life. He's hooked up in you.

Your gaze turns soft. You see his wound closing and healing by its self with just the corner of your eyes; and a warming relief spreads through your body, along with something sweet and gentle, painfully raw, longing and understanding. It's love.

The Song reflects those feelings; growing quieter as you keep staring into Fives' soul. You feel the notes slowing, your mind and heart finally wrapping around your feelings, accepting them, making them part of your own; and a last hum leaves your lips before the night is silent again, only interrupted by Fives' heavy breathing. Even if the Song is finished, he keeps looking at you like there's nothing else.

"That was beautiful" he whispers, dizziness still numbing his body and mind even if he's completely healed, now. He'll take some time to adjust. "Thank you".

You smile softly.

This is not your ending, Fives. But you need to...

The sailor squeezes his eyes shut. A painful headache stars at the side of his temple. He can barely concentrate in his surroundings now.

"Rest, Fives" you tell him, and he finally falls into unconsciousness almost instantly.

You glance up, noticing the wowed stares of the crew of the 79'.

"What was that?" Ashoka whispers in wonder.

You make Captain Rex a sign to let him now they can pull the small boat back up. You smile at the girl.

"My Song" you answer, misteriously. You glance at Echo, anxiously curved forward as if in a try to reach Fives quicker. You try to soothe his worries before dipping under the waves. "He'll be okay, just needs some hours of rest. I'll come back tomorrow".

With that, you nod to your pod and you slowly swim away. Your soul tries to tug you back towards him, but you comfort yourself thinking you'll be back to talk with him after some very much needed rest.

Patience.

You feel like a baby Siren again.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Care to explain to me what kind of voodo magic you did to me to turn me from a corpse to my handsome self again?" is what Fives first chirps at you upon seing you arrive the next morning, him waiting patiently for you in the small boat again, this time a bit further away from the 79's.

You smirk and place your folded arms over the border of the boat, resting your right cheek on top of them.

"I already told Ashoka" you answer playfully. "It's my Song".

Fives snorts and carefully pushes himself closer to you. You track the movement, distracted.

"Yeah, your song" he repeats, squinting and tilting his head in questioning. "Echo told me the other Sirens acted as if we were getting married or something".

You laugh freely, Fives smiling unconsciously.

"Well, singing your song to another holds pretty much the same meaning for my people. Your circumstances pushed me to do it way earlier than I would have prefered but... It's okay. You're okay".

Fives eyes turn soft.

"I know you love being all sexy and misterious. But tell me what has really happened, please?" His voice is also gentle and full of warmth.

He should know.

"All Sirens have a special personal Song. It's something instinctual that can't be repeated or prepared; born of raw feelings, desires and needs. It's different to other songs we sing. We don't use our normal vocal cords for this; it comes from somewhere within, deep in your soul. Sirens believe our kind are made of magic and music combined into one, and protected by a physical body shape; that of a predator so it can defend the pureness it holds. This Song... Can only be sung once, to just one other being, and it will create a special bond no-one but the two of them would be able to break. From that day on, this two beings will always be linked to each other, perhaps even able to feel or hear the other; and the Siren won't be able to sing in this kind of way to anyone else, ever again".

You grow quiet; waiting, patient. Expectant. Fives barely blinks.

You're not afraid to him not corresponding your feelings now. If it were that way, your Song wouldn't have worked the night before. A Song can't be an impossed thing; it must be accepted by the other's soul. Fives has subsconciously done that already; if his present mind needs more time to process it, nevertheless, you're willing to give him that.

Fives finally takes a deep breath in, noding in quiet understanding, before showing you his own signature smirk and closing the distances between your faces so that your nose is barely grazing his.

"Well. I think I'm definitively finally winning a kiss" he tempts you, eyes shining with mirth.

Your small laugh is pure unadulterated happiness. With your soul almost vibrating inside your chest, you cup his strong jaw and close the insignificant distance between you.

You kiss him –passionately, then gently– and Fives smiles against your lips.

THE END.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I'm sorry this took me ages to write! I got a bit blocked on how I was going to put Fives in danger and I also started with my finals.

I'm aware there are some errors in this but I prioriticed publishing it as soon as possible over having a second read to correct them. Sorry!

I hope you've liked it, dear. Second Mermay fic done, go check Tech's first one on my profile! (It's on: sw masterlist> 2 part of requests > Blue dreams).

Got requests closed cause finals and already a few of them in the line. I'll prob reopen in a month. If you want to you can still send them, just notice I'm not gonna be able to write it anytime soon.

Lots of things to come, stay tunned!

Xx,

Sky.

Back to masterlist here:

[zoloftsexdeath]

Thinking about the origin songs of all the surviving covey members. I can’t speak to color theory, and I haven’t read the books, but I do know some folk songs and recognized some names. Now I don’t stick to Childes ballads strictly when listening to these songs, but I will be listing the number for reference on all the names that have a childe’s ballad corresponding, just for ease of research.

Lucy Grey Baird

Lucy Grey is her own creature and her song is plain in the books. I think the difference between the book ballad of Lucy Gray and the one in the movie (the song she herself wrote about Billy Taupe) is fascinating, as the first one is more of a story-song traditional like, and the Ballad per the movie is so. Im shoving it in my mouth and eating it. Smarter people with more context than me can write better about it though so I’ll leave it at this. I personally think Rachael Ziegler killed it though, and her voice is high and clear, would love to hear her live so I could lay in the grass and kick my feet as I listen.

Barbara Azure Baird

Barb Azure canonically came from Barbara Allen/Barb’ry Allen [CB # ]traditionally a round sung about a woman whose lover dies of wanting her, and she dies of sorrow, and their graves lie entertwined with plants of rose and briar on each respective grave to form a true lover’s knot. My favorite version comes from Joan Baez. This is the only of the covey songs I’ve ever heard before doing this research, and I love it dearly.

Tam Amber [last name unknown]

Tam Amber from Tam Lin! Also known as Tamlaine, Tamlin, or Tam Lyne [Child Ballad #39]. An epic Scottish ballad, and a lovely round. As the story went he was a mortal kidnapped by faeries and has become their unwilling servant, protecting a forest in which he finds a beautiful young woman (usually named Janet or Margaret) whom he confronts for plucking roses. They doink about it, she gets pregnant, her father asks who got her with child, and she rushes back to Tam Lin and begs him to either get rid of the child he begot or marry hee, which in his current state he cannot do. He then devises a plan for Janet/Margaret to performs several tasks that will allow him to return to the land of the mortals, angering the faery queen but assuaging her enough that she makes good on her promise and reluctantly frees Tam Lin to marry his now beloved Janet and legitimize their child. Perhaps not the most traditional version, the one by Anaïs Mitchell and Jefferson Hamer makes me think yes, I can see Tam Amber’s parents falling in love to this song, singing it to him and the other covey children to put them to sleep.

Clerk Carmine Clade

From the ballad Clerk Colven [Child Ballad #42] about a real piece of work who tries to run off on his wife and sleep with a mermaid. The mermaid knows this though, and curses him to suffer a horrific headache until I think his head actually explodes. I don’t think it necessarily has any bearing on Clerk Carmine’s actual personality, but the combination of this song with the color carmine (a brilliant red extracted from the cochinil bug) leads me to believe he was either conceived, born, or his parents married while traveling in district 5. I can see this one being a favorite in district, where they know the danger of baiting the sea and possibly the danger of being a jackass to your wife as well. The location of D5 down in the southwest also leads me to believe it was one of the few places the Covey could have encountered the color as well, as often red 40 or other synthetics are used in mass production of vibrant reds and the use of cochinil based carmine would likely be a very “district” thing, used by native residents for painting or decoration of small items. It’s a strong name, and dangerous when it comes to taking a stand against what the capital represents. I’m surprised he was able to keep it. I reccomend this cover, dunno the singer really but the accent is heavy and his voice is true. I would listen with lyrics alongside though.

Maude Ivory Baird

The book tells us that Maude comes from the poem “Maude Clare” by Christina Rosetti, and Ivory from piano keys. I also like to think that she was partially named after Maud Karpeles, a British folk song collector who helped write down a lot of folk music.

Billy Taupe Clade

Likely from Billy Boy, ironic and fitting for its being about a man after a wife who can feed and care for him despite her being “too young to leave her mother” something Lucy Gray says about him wanting in the books (and seemingly not wanting much more). I don’t care much for this song (sorry), but this is an alright cover.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #284

...I wasn't able to call the animal hospital today. It is Saturday. They are closed. I will have to call on Monday instead. I'm sorry about that; I imagine you were looking forward to an update on our recently rescued pigeon friend. Rest assured I will try for an update on Monday morning.

I went to work today. Mostly I sliced breads and bagged rolls. But I also spent some time scooping muffin batter into muffin tins. I really like preparing the muffins. And I really like when my precision allows me to fill more muffin tins than my supervisors expect!

I wasn't able to get any pictures of any of my work today. But I did make sure to grab some other ones for you on the way in to work. The sky was a brilliant shade of awesome this morning, and the pumpkin and flower displays outside the front door of my store were especially striking today, so I took some pictures...

These ones were taken just outside my store...

...Here were some of the displays outside of my building today:

...I wonder who it is, who puts these together so artfully. I feel lucky to work in the same building with them, whoever it is. Next time I'm there, I'll have to ask who puts these together so I can tell them how amazing it looks. Clearly, a lot of love and effort was put into these. I'd like to meet them.

I got a bunch of odds and ends for the house on the way home. I wanted to try to make... drum roll please...!!!

...!!!!!!!

...A brie garlic bread with prosciutto!!!!!

I dunno if anyone has tried it before, but it's hard to go wrong with garlic, butter, bread, cheese, and a salted meat product!!! Unfortunately though, by the time I was all done with everything, I didn't really have energy left to move my ouchy arm around (damn this rib injury to hell and back in a spiky, red-hot metal handbasket!!!!!). So after M and I put everything away, I just made myself a sandwich and ate it with some clementines...

...I kinda floundered emptily for a while after that. I feel like I'm drowning, and I've felt like that ever since Otakon, but I can't exactly pinpoint why; if you've got ideas, I'm all ears. At the moment, it feels like the best I can do is keep the sensation at bay for a little while. I guess I'm getting pretty good at finding ways of doing that, except for when I'm not very good at it. So that's something at least, right?

I'm sure it doesn't help that it's almost time for me to bleed; my body is going to be losing 4 times the normal amount of resources, as per usual. And then on Tuesday, I'm getting 4 teeth yanked out for the sake of those braces. I suppose I'm a bit apprehensive. My body is going to have a really hard time of it in the coming days. I tried some leisure writing to try to calm myself down a little, but... well. The leisure writing is a pale substitute for what it is that I actually want.

...I can't say what it is that I actually want. Not because I don't know what it is - I do know what it is. But... because it's so impossible and silly that if I said it, people would probably make fun of me a lot.

...I wish it wasn't like that. I really wish that others weren't so prone to making superficial judgments about things and coming to very wrong conclusions as a result. But it is what it is.

The wait to see what will happen to you is a very heavy thing to carry; I really don't wanna see you get slaughtered again. I don't like seeing you get hurt. Seeing you get beaten and broken in a number of ways was difficult enough as it is. I'm scared of seeing it happen more.

But I'll do my best with it, all right? I promise. You do your best with your things, too, okay? Promise me.

Well. Suppose I better end this one here before I start to ramble. I'll probably do some Dead Cells for a bit. Dunno how far I'll get, but... smashing up some zombies sounds like a great distraction right about now.

Please stay safe out there. Please don't die. Please don't disappear. Please don't go to some faraway place that no one can reach.

I'll write again tomorrow, hopefully about new garlic bread adventures.

I love you.

Your friend, Lumine

[roxannarambles]

Finally finished playing Legends: Arceus-- the main storyline, at least, I have not completed the full Dex, but I did everything else. Some thoughts below.

So, there's a lot this game has going for it. There are lots of lovely natural environments to run around in and explore, and the pokemon really do feel integrated into a complete world, full of personality and ways of interacting with them you just don't get in other games. The controls feel good, the mounts are very fun to use, the aesthetic is on point, and the story's pretty fun. Crafting is a neat addition to the game, there's plenty of side-quests, and there's some interesting new battle mechanics. Overall, they switch things up from the mainline games and try a lot of new things, which I do commend them for.

But, um. Here's the thing. I really hate the gameplay, for the most part. Which is why I bought the game and really, really wanted to enjoy it, and I tried several times to play through, but each time I got so intensely bored I just couldn't go through with it. Don't get me wrong, catching pokemon and using berries and stun items and other stuff feels good, and it feels fun. For like, the first hour. But you have to keep doing it.

Over and over and over.

I just don't enjoy catching a billion pokemon and grinding out other research tasks, like beating up on wild pokemon in various ways, using a specific move a certain number of times, etc. It's so mindless and dull and grindy and boring. You know how PokemonGo is mostly just . . . catching pokemon? Yeah. That gets old, I hate that. I can see how it's just chill and relaxing for some people, but it just isn't for me. I did my damned best to get into it, I promise, but I never did. It was a slog the whole way.

I tried to make it more interesting to me by doing a "bug only challenge." I was only allowed to catch and use bug types, the whole game. (The exceptions are plot-required catches: namely, the Tutorial pokemon and a Dusknoir at some point in the main storyline) And it . . . was sorta nice, I guess? But it didn't do much to make it more fun to me. In some ways it made it even more of a slog since it's harder to earn Star Ranks when you're severely limiting the species you catch. Still, I'm kinda proud I was able to do it, I guess?

Trainer battles in the game are frustrating, too, due to their rarity. You do have battles in the game, and new battle mechanics to try out, too, which gives you a desire to have battles-- especially since it can break up the monotonous research tasks. However, battles are so incredibly rare, and typically incredibly, incredibly easy and are over in almost an instant. You never get to really use the pokemon you've trained. And I get it, the emphasis of the game is research, not battling, since battling is still in its infancy in this era. It still feels frustrating though. I craved battles.

I didn't get to ever feel attached to my team, either. Since most of the game involves research tasks, a lot of those tasks involve battling against wild pokemon. If I used my main team for all that, they'd get way overlevelled in a hurry. So I was always using different individuals. I hardly ever saw my main team, so I did not get the chance to bond with them emotionally-- especially since we rarely had trainer battles anyway.

I didn't feel attached to most of the characters in the game either, to be frank. This isn't any fault of the writing, I actually think the writing was very strong in this game, this is more of just a personal preference. The Pokemon Professor is fine enough, but I never got over the disgusting pube-hair look he has going on his face (I am allowed to dislike characters for shallow reasons, okay). Rei was okay, but I certainly didn't feel fond over him. The leaders of the Pearl and Diamond clans were okay I guess, but the 'arguments' about time and space were so fucking stupid and took up most their screen time, so it kind of ruins them. I just, I dunno, I didn't feel strongly about any of them.

Except for Volo. I always liked him. (The moment I saw him I hoped he was a butch lesbian and got all excited. When I found out he was a dude I was a bit disappointed but oh well, he's still pretty) He was friendly and charismatic and I appreciated his curiosity and his wanderer's spirit.

It's a shame I didn't play and finish the game when I first bought it, because then I might not have been spoiled to Volo's little twist at the end. But, finding out Volo's heavy involvement in the game and the twist at the end was what motivated me to bother finishing the game, so. There's that. I really don't think anything else would have motivated me, because the gameplay was just such a slog for me.

I am glad I bothered to finish the main story, though. It was interesting. I do love the premise of people being very wary and frightened of pokemon and exploring that kind of world. Portraying pokemon in a scarier role was a bold move for the franchise and I love them exploring that side. I LOVE pokemon chasing after you and attacking you directly and the 'alpha' pokemon mechanic and the spookiness of it all. And the story is honestly a neat one. The idea of MC being displaced in time and space and having to work for their room and board has a cozy-survival feel to it, and the deep mistrust of everyone and slowly earning their respect was interesting. Although I did feel actively annoyed that no matter how much work I did, and how many requests I fulfilled, people still often treated me with mistrust. But I think that was the point, to be honest!

When you quell the final Noble and the sky goes boom, that's when things get truly fun, though. I love that Kamado turns on you, which was not too surprising since he'd been one of the ones who really banged on and on about mistrusting you the most. I LOVE the short scene of showing you being walked out of the village as you're banned. I LOVED the feeling of being suddenly on your own, and I LOVE that both Pearl and Diamond clans turned their backs on you so that they wouldn't risk war with Galaxy. And who is there when you have no one else to turn to, alone in the wilderness, when you need a friend the most?

Volo.

He brings you to Cogita, where she fulfills the heavy burden of Exposition Lady. The years of bearing that burden of Exposition have turned her tired and a little snippy, apparently (in truth she's only snippy with Volo, and I think it's because she senses a bad aura, but from an innocent standpoint it seems needlessly snippy, since Volo's Mask is a genuinely nice guy and he's given a nearly flawless performance). I don't know if Cogita was even needed for the story, since Volo's specialty is myth research and he could have easily given us that exposition and also given us a neutral ground to shelter at while the other clans turned their backs on us. But whatever, they wanted a Cynthia ancestor, I can understand that. Dang her house was pretty to look at, and the music there was great. They really put effort into that part.

And then you go and forge the red chain and climb the mountain and . . . potato guy? Why are you here? Oh, he's randomly a ninja. Actually, that part was hilarious and I loved it, I had a grudge against Beni the ENTIRE game because he didn't want to serve me his stupid mochi, so I was so excited to kick his ass. And the extra lore was nice, not to mention the extremely rare chance to have a battle. Anyway, after that, you battle the boss and then take care of the scary Legendary pokemon and all that jazz, and the story . . . ends. Rather abruptly, to be honest. It felt a bit sudden, as if Act 2 was cut a little short. I think it's because the post-game is still what you'd call the main story. Post-game content normally is extra, bonus stuff, but man, if you skip the post-game plot in Arceus, you'll be missing a whole chunk of actual story. Tbh I think they shouldn't have rolled credits 'til the end of the Volo battle, but that's nitpicking. Besides, it amuses me to think some people stopped after the credits and never learned the truth about Volo, which is just a hilarious thought.

Act 3 takes place after a festival celebrating the fact MC saved the world and the Diamond and Pearl clans no longer need to fight (sadly, we don't get to see the festival though!! other than a tiny photo in the credits!) It's pretty short and mostly running around doing errands involving facing off against legendaries and mythicals; the most satisfying errand was a rematch with Kamado because it was a trainer battle aaaaaa!! So few of those. And then we climb the mountain again because Volo, um, really wants to meet the creator's 'unwanted child' for some reason . . . sounds like a good idea right??

The battle with him was fun. Having Cynthia's banger theme was hype, didn't expect it. I was doing the bug challenge run, my team was levels ~60-65, and I beat him on my first go, down to my last pokemon, Heracross on full health.

And then he brings out Giratina without letting me heal. Ahaha, uhhm.

Thankfully I had a lot of Max Revives stuffed in my bag which I FINALLY had a use for. The second phase for Giratina was not expected, so that was a fun surprise, but I scraped by on a few more max revives and careful juggling, and we won. (I dunno what happens once you meet Arceus itself, because I think I need to 100% the Dex for that to happen, but presumably our character can finally return home.)

Was it a good game? Yes, objectively speaking, definitely. I think Legends: Arceus was a very strong game. The writing was very good, and that's a precious rarity in Pokemon games. The world itself was carefully designed, polished, pretty, and felt like truly exploring nature and encountering pokemon, in a unique and refreshing way. The gameplay tried something very new and it generally implemented its intentions very well-- it felt fun to control the character, to throw pokeballs, to craft and collect items, to use mounts, and go up against the Nobles. The story and the universe cast pokemon in an exciting new perspective.

It's just a shame that a million grindy research tasks are so utterly boring to carry out, because the main thrust of the game and what you spend the most time on just plain sucked for me to do. So much so, that I did not enjoy most of my experience playing this game. But oh well, what can you do?

[wellofdean]

the trap anon here! i wanna second your post about enjoying sharing different thoughts about things. i really appreciate some of the more positive posts i’ve seen about the trap, like yours, reframing it to emphasize the beauty of love, compassion, and forgiveness. i do really like that.

unfortunately i’ve come to the realization that my issue with the trap feels bigger cause it relates to one of my issues with s15 overall—there’s just not enough time. thinking it through more, i’m not so much bitter about what dean says (in some part thanks to all the positive takes i’ve seen :)), but it still feels incomplete. like it goes back to the fact that yeah they don’t ever get that time to decompress. i def agree that they couldn’t get into it all then, with everything still going on and on and on. and yeah i guess ‘calmly’ was the wrong word haha, but i do think, if they had that chance, dean would be able to be a little more clear about his needs. but he never gets the chance. or rather, dean and cas don’t get to have a bigger conversation without all the weight of the world on their shoulders—they’re not allowed to by the time constraints of the season, and it seems like dean gets the short end of the stick, even with cas’s confession (cause then cas is gone 🥺), and it’s not so much the in-world or watsonian explanation but the doylist effects that disappoint me … and idk i guess this is one of those situations where i’m just not satisfied by assuming that they talked more off-screen, if that makes sense.

ahh anyway, sorry for rambling even more in your asks! i hope this isn’t weird, or like responding too much, and ofc, no pressure to respond back. but i am enjoying talking about this topic so cordially :)

First, let me say that yes! Cordial discussion! I think there is a climate of being...I dunno, afraid to disagree. I wonder if it felt like a vague-post call-out, that I made my own post and referenced things on my dash without naming any names or reblogging something, but I did that so as not to muck up anyone's notes and to not argue directly with anyone. If that was wrong, mea culpa everyone! I really just love you all for being here, four years later, still obsessed with my TV boyfriends. If not for you I would be all alone in this, losing my damn mind. And like, this is a TV show we are talking about! It's totally fine to disagree, or to feel like what you're seeing in it is more important for you! Thanks for these asks, and for being willing to discuss.

I will say that I am, generally speaking, less interested in Doylist commentary. My background is in literary theory, and even there, I am more interested in closely reading what's on the page than I am in a writer's biography or intention. I am more interested in the story they actually told than anything else. That said, I think there are genuine and in fact catastrophic Doylist issues with the end of SPN. If we are generous? COVID. If we suspect foul play? The Network PTB. For me, the ones least to blame are the writers and the actors, because what's on the screen makes it pretty clear what story they wanted to tell.

My argument about The Trap is just this: it's a beautiful scene, and Dean said things he needed to say, not because of any culpability he bears, but for the health of his own heart. It's in-character, beautifully acted, and the things he says sound right in Dean's voice. Jensen, keeper of Dean, clearly believed in it. I like the writing in that episode a lot. I think that scene is really moving, and that expecting it to be the thing that fixes them is putting too much weight on it. What I see in it is Dean unburdening his heart and needing to not let himself dwell on grievances because time is short, and love is more important, and he LOVES that angel. I love that. I love DEAN for that. It would have ruined the scene if he was saying "I'm sorry it took me until now to say it...but, Cas, man...you gotta..." Dean doesn't even know if Cas is ALIVE in that scene. He is making a desperate, last ditch effort to get himself right and tell Cas he loves him; that he forgave him a long time ago. It has to be pure grace. They were right to write it that way, imho. And then Cas doesn't let him say more, and it's because he is afraid to let himself be happy.

Can an argument be made that Cas should have told Dean about his deal with the empty? Sure! Could they have done a million other things than the things they did? INFINITELY! So, to your other point about there not being enough time in the end of SPN? and their not doing enough to let Dean say his piece, I mean... I agree? I would have preferred it if SPN never ended? Like, please let it continue literally forever? Please show me every single minute of Dean's life? I love him so, so much and I never want to live without him? Of course I wanted them to finally communicate directly about their relationship! And, make out! And then go to bed in Dean's sweet, gun be-decked room! And then have Sam burst into their room for some reason, and find them sleepily spooning (Dean's the little spoon! He deserves it!) and obviously naked! And they spring apart and Sams says "Oh, so...this is happening?" and Dean says "AND HOW!" with a big, shit-eating grin he can't suppress... Like... yes! ALL THAT. PLEASE AND THANK YOU! I will confess, though, that I don't think healthy relationship/therapy-type talks about their feelings appeal to me in the context of these characters or this story, but otherwise? Yes! I wanted it resolved.

And, Anon, I most fervently agree with you that Dean gets the short end of the stick. Like, quite literally, where, like, the stick is a piece of fucking rebar and I make no secret of the fact that the end of Supernatural, especially the last episode, is the biggest narrative shit sandwich I have ever been served and somehow choked down in all my life. It's fucking MALPRACTICE, and seriously, after Cas's beautiful goodbye, it would really have taken VERY LITTLE to satisfy me. They could have just had Cas be there in Dean's heaven, and have Dean look at him with those fucking big, wet eyes of his and hug him tight, and I would have been like...ok. I can live with that! But they did not do that. They sent my baby Dean to boring drive heaven and made him meet Sam on a bridge. I mean...fuck that. I am ready with my pitchfork!

Just...The Trap was still beautiful. It was a shining moment. Dean had never looked prettier. What he said was important FOR HIM. The forest sucked in the end, but that was a fucking beautiful tree. That's really all I'm saying.

[bilolli]

Hi, me again lmao 👁️👁️ Thank you for answering to my ramblings, have more

By erasing memories I meant like actual staff erasing it so they don't have triggers from past patients, like if you know psychopaths are pretty cool doctors/cops/any other job that involves human's emotions or traumatic shit for normal person because they don't have any emotions. So technically it would be logical for William to program bots to be the same but if it's important for the story then nevermind, it's just a thought of mine!

Also about boys having conflicted feelings: we can make it even better! Y/N has conflicted feelings as well because Sun and Moon are caretakers, it's their job to take about y/n. So y/n just thinking like "Could everything that they did be just because of their job?" "Maybe they were so nice to me just because they have to" etc etc ;)

Another little things, just ideas(don't have to be in your main story, just thoughts about your main setting):

You said that Sun and Moon are allowed to go wherever they want but I don't really think that they can just live y'know? And I was just thinking about them actually secretly dreaming about experiencing very simple things, that they can't do on their own because they need to look after patients.

Y/N is already healthy for a long long period but pretends to be sick so they can stay with boys? Like yeah, they can leave the hospital and just visit them sometimes but it's just not the same...

Thank you for answering again, I'm really into this au and really want to see how it will turn out!! <33

Yey more ramblings!

Answers under the cut because I can't seem to be able to write a small post.

Normal staff is unable to erase the animatronics memories because it requires a lot of knowledge about programming (obviously) and even some access passwords that only the directors of the hospitals know (William and Micheal in this case) The directors are the one who decide how to use and what must be done to the animatronics. 

Under William's directions, animatronics were periodically reset to better manage their memory and to erase private data after a patient was released. This was obviously just an excuse used for the public. He actually did that to erase every possible proof of his crimes.

Micheal, on the other hand, doesn't do that because he doesn't have anything to hide and thinks that having any previous data about certain events/illnesses could save someone's life, even if it's not actually in line with normal privacy rules. He sees the animatronics like a hacker/technician sees his extremely expensive and new super computer. Not actually as people but something pretty much similar. He treats them well but he demands respect from them, not because he is human and they are robots, but because of his position as a lead doctor.

I didn't mention it before but y/n has a lot of conflicting feelings as well. Here is an example from the WIP:

"After all you're just another patient to entertain, who knows how many other humans they took care of with the same kind gestures and smiles before you even arrived here."

Sun and Moon are free to roam inside the hospital perimeter and it has pretty much anything you could ever want and could expect from a big, private hospital (like, dunno, a pool and a gym). But yeah, they sometimes find themselves thinking about visiting different cities or just enjoying different views. 

Sun wants to go to an amusement park and Moon wants to go to a real cinema and watch a film on the big screen. 

Visit the duo you say? That's actually something Sun says at some point but he's firmly convinced that y/n would stop doing it after some time passes. 

Y/n has the money to stay at the hospital for some time but they'll run out of them if they stay for too long. If they are gonna survive all of what's happening they are planning something different. Hopefully their plan is going to work.

[inkykeiji]

hi clari!! do you happen to be interested in ballet at all? i’ve been doing ballet for years now and i’ve been curious if of your iterations of touya would let reader be a dancer, for example a dance major in college? it’s such a “cute and girly” thing that i think they might like it but at the same time i could see them getting jealous of any potential duets with other men or how “revealing” the uniforms are

but either way i’d love to know what majors you originally have each of them doing since most, if not all, of your stories have the reader doing college?

hope you’re doing well!! <33

hi anon!! <3 oooh i actually love ballet so much and i will forever regret talking my mom out of enrolling me in it when i was 8!!! EEE ehehe it’s funny u ask actually because once upon a time i was writing a ballet au with dabi! i dunno if i’ll ever finish it tho hahaha >.< so since all of my readers are already enrolled in university by the time they meet touya/dabi, there’s no way he’d be able to control what their major is; they already decided on it on their own and most are at least a year or two into their studies when they first meet him, so he isn’t able to decide what it is they’re studying (which means yes, they’d be forced to ‘allow’ her to continue her dance major! no matter how much they don’t like it! they won’t be changing programs simply because their overbearing, overprotective, over-possessive boyfriend doesn’t like it).

that being said, you’re 100% right! my touyas/dabis would be totally torn between loving it because it’s so beautiful and awe-inspiring (they’re totally enraptured—enchanted—when they watch her perform) and being extremely jealous that literally anyone else gets to see their girl in such beautiful costumes dancing such beautiful numbers and that anyone gets to fucking touch their girl at all. out of my three main iterations, touya-nii would be the worst with his possessiveness and would definitely demand she never dance a pas de deux with anyone (despite the fact that she wants to, that it’s good for her career + exposure, or that her grade depends on it. tnii is way too selfish to give a fuck about any of that, and he’d much rather she stay in the corps forever—in his mind, he’s like why would she ever need to be prima anyway? when she has me? when i can provide for her? etc.)

good question! so their majors are intentionally left vague so you, the real reader, can project whatever you’d like onto them! in my mind, they study art of some form (probably literature and/or film since that’s what i studied HAHAHA but i also love the idea of studying fine arts or dance like u said!!!), with the exception of bmb reader, who in my mind studies psychology. but again, feel free to imagine them studying whatever you’d like to! i hope you’re doing fabulous, sweetpea! <3 thank u for ur question!!!

[chickensoup1025]

Onto Bubbler...

Before it starts I wanted to say I have beef with Nino in this episode cause he makes his best friend's birthday about his hurt feelings and it's annoying and he didn't even get him a present

It was actually pretty nice of Plagg to try to give him that present

We love Sabine on this blog

Did Nathalie not even try to get him something herself??? She practically raised him!

Y'all should throw a small party at school if a house one isn't gonna work

Marinette is beyond thoughtful for MAKING him a gift.

EVEN CHLOE DIDNT REMEMBER IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY???

Are you seriously telling me Paris's Teen Sweetheart didn't have a fan club that is celebrating his birthday at all? He's not getting letters in the mail? Or fans coming up to him at school? Or MORE people telling his dad to throw a party/throwing one for him??? This episode is just. Idk man.

Marinette has been a called a push over in the last two episodes (and this is the SECOND EPISODE) so it's amazing to see how far she's come!!!!

ADRIEN HAD A PHOTOSHOOT SCHEDULED ON HIS BIRTHDAY? THATS SO UGHHHHHHHHHH AND DURING HIS LUNCH BREAK TOO

Bro. Nino says he's gonna go to Adrien's house and Marinette and Alya are in the background. Cut to only Marinette and Alya at Adrien's house. Did Nino get lost????

Alya can you please tell Adrien later that it was from Marinette?

NATHALIE YOU SNAKE

Wild how Gabriel really did come out to talk to Nino. Ohhhh he wanted to make Nino an akuma. Gotcha.

DONT SIT ALONE AND BE UPSET NINO. THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU. BE WITH ADRIEN. HE WAS JUST TOLD ON HIS BIRTHDAY THAT HIS BEST FRIEND COULDNT EVER COME AROUND HIS HOUSE AND YOURE JUST GONNA WALK AWAY??? GO BACK TO SCHOOL TOGETHER AT LEAST????? Speaking of, that photoshoot was super quick? And why was he dropped off at his house? No way lunch break is that fast???? Go to school??????

Ugly ass akuma

Gabriel seriously made an akuma who specifically hates and is mad at him 🤦🏽‍♀️

What even counts as an "adult" here? 18+ or like out of university or like old enough to have kids or-

I'm a Nathalie hater I dunno yall I can't believe her this episode.

Just a weird ass akuma

This being his first party makes me wanna cry.

NINO IF YOU TURN ON A SLOW DANCE BECAUSE CHLOE ASKED YOU TO THEN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT ADRIEN. HE WAS VISIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE EARLIER THAT DAY WHEN SHE WAS UP ON HIM OH MY GOD.

NO ITS THE ADRIENETTE SLOW DANCE SONG NO NO NO

I think Ladybug should be allowed to use her power selfishly like this more often.

Did no one hear when Ladybug said "yours truly"??? It was pretty loud

No one knows how old ladybug and chat noir even are so people might be imagining they're also just stuck in bubbles lol. Oh god, if Adrien and Marinette were adults then they wouldn't be able to transform like that out in the open and THIS COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A GOOD PLAN TO TRAP THEM OR FIND OUT THEIR IDENTITIES HAWKMOTH JESUS. What you have to do is: Bubbler brings all the bubbles together so you can see them all in one spot. Have Bubbler WATCH, not just throw a party. If someone inside transforms then great! You know who they are. But if LB and or CN show up anyway then you know they're not an adult and that whittles down your search BY A LOT.

Girl is pretty brave for writing "Love, Marinette"

Nathaniel has some Shuichi energy hm

Cool moves...

"But adults keep children, safe, and protected. They care for their kids, they love them!" "Most adults do, anyhow." JESUS CHRIST WAY TO GO STRAIGHT FOR THR HEART

Him throwing his staff for her to swing her yo-yo around was completely unnecessary-

You can really see how the stakes change between the beginning and end of the show. "Oh I'm stuck in a bubble for awhile and just have to wait an hour at most to go back to my normal day" to "oh the world is ending"

Adrien is such a good boy...

One day- NO ONE HOUR of no adults and suddenly every thing everyone is trying to mail will be late for another week. Huh

Marinette didn't take the credit 🥺

"You're amazing Marinette, someone Adrien will see that too." Cut to not even a full season later Adrien leaning back in Marinette's desk chair, "You're amazing, Marinette."

SOMEONE GET THIS BOY A LEGIT BIRTHDAY OR SO HELP ME

[bettsfic]

directors cut on dirtbag, im begging

i don't know what i was on when i wrote dirtbag but i'd kill to have it back.

initially i didn't plan to write anything for hellcheer because, yk, 3 minutes of on screen interaction and i don't actually like stranger things. but i got an ask about if i would ever write for them, and that got me Thinking* and then i slipped into some kind of fugue state where i wrote sick part of a sick thing across 8 days.

if you ever want me to write for your ship, send me an ask asking what i WOULD write for them (assuming i know canon), and i may say i dunno or i may write a 50k multichap

sick thing was not satisfying to write on a craft level because i relied heavily on the same cheap moves stranger things employs to create conflict, namely totally flat antagonists that exist only to propel the protagonist into action.

and so after i wrote sick thing, i thought i would try the exact opposite, a fic that takes place over a long time where every character has some degree of nuance.

and that challenge was...challenging. i've never worked harder on a fic, but it was worth it i think for what i learned in the process of writing it. i think it made my characters stronger and my story structures more complicated and interesting. it reframed my perspective of developing tension through context rather than chronology.

i re-read it recently and it made me really sad because i don't think some of the things i admire about it can ever be replicated. i'd love to be able to put that degree of loneliness and longing in an original work, but i've tried and i seem to lose something along the way.

i remember while i was posting it being very happy about the response, because there weren't a whole lot of people reading it, but the people who were reading it really seemed to be engaging with it. it's one thing when people enjoy a story, but it's another when they allow the story to move them. i got a lot of really insightful asks and comments. so it was hard to write and it was a huge struggle, and there's at least one chapter that i re-wrote like 5 times, but overall it was very rewarding.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Faerie Tales

I am in full Fate/Grand Order mode right now and it's paying off nicely. I think. It's an odd thing to juggle three mobile titles (FGO, Azur Lane, and Ever Crisis), Baldur's gate 3, Persona 3 Reload, and my millionth run at Mass Effect Legendary. I got too many games on my plate right now. I feel like i should pull back on something but, at the same time, nah? Like, P3R is my sh*t and i am absolutely in love with BG3. I dunno, maybe I'll reassess eventually but my crippling gaming addiction has only a nebulous effect on my choice to continue grinding through the admittedly frustrating and horrifically pay-walled world of the Grand Orders. I do it because i shill hard for Nasu and have for actual decades. Plus, some of the stories are really cool. F*cking Avalon le Fae was peak Type Moon and i cannot wait until the Dragon Slayer money runs out so they have UFOtable animate that sh*t. Interestingly enough, the Faeries are kind of why I'm even writing this update.

Yo, i popped Barghest! Tam Lin Gawain is easily my favorite of the Faerie Knights. I mean, Melusine is but Barghest is definitely right there with her. Of the newer Servants released since i lost my first account, She ranks right up there in the top ten. Actually, i think she was number nine. Albion was number one, but making it into that top ten is a feat in of itself. Dozens of dope ass servants were added in my years long hiatus and the Black Dog made it to the top of the top. It just kind of blows she's a Saber. I'm lousy with Sabers. A good portion of my Five-Stars are Sabers. Like, i already have Mordred, she will NEVER leave my party, and Artoria. They are powerhouses in their own right but i also have Okita and Altera as back up. That's four Five-Star Sabers. Where the f*ck does my Hellhound even fit? Still, i am mad hype to pop her off the Artoria Caster Banner, because i did it with some bullsh*t Summon Tickets! Pretty sure i got Artoria doing that, too, but that's not why I'm happy.

You see, that Caster Banner is part of the Twenty Million Downloads campaign. Also [art of that, are two special summon tickets, one for a Four-Star Craft Essence and the other for a Four-Star Servant. I was going to use that ticket on Barghest, even though i already have a ton of Sabers. That's how much i like the character. Popping her off that banner allows me to choose a different Servant now, one that i actually need. I have one Avenger and it's Hessian Lobo. That guy sucks. I mean, it's fine, but it ain't Demon Nobu. However, there is another Four-Star Avenger who i had on my old account. An Avenger that happens to be a Medusaface, and we all know how much of a sucker i am for Medusa. Not only did i get a Barghest on one of the most improbable ways possible, but i was able to outright choose Gorgon! I was able to secure a much need Avenger option AND the Black Dog I've wanted since Avalon was released! Honestly, I wish I had one more of those free tickets. I'm set on Gorgon, for sure, but Lancer Artoria Alter is an option, too, and she's kind of my favorite Artoria. There's just something about an Alter which really does it for me.

I'm actually really very pleased with this account right now. Sucks I'm still missing a ton of Servants that i want, but progress is being made. I mentioned in my last update i was able to finally acquire Anastasia but, since then, I've also added Ivan the Terrible, Anne Bonny and Marie Reed, Assassin Okita, and Lakshmibai. These are all solid additions, even though they aren't necessarily Servants i would personally choose for myself. I mean, Ivan is, that gigantic motherf*cker is a powerhouse, but considering i don't run at FGO Banners like i do Azur Lane ones, the fact that i have any Five-Stars is kind of a blessing. Obviously, my Mordred is coming along nicely. I've been able to both unlock and max out her second Append Skill, while grinding away at the monumental task of getting that eleventh Bond Level. Right now, that's the current quest. Oh, somehow, i was able to naturally roll a second Mordred so she's got a level two Noble Phantasm now. Just three to go! I'm just chipping away, man. Slowly but surely, I'll have my max Mordred.

[ageless-aislynn]

Since I thought for so long that I wasn't going to be able to ever get Georgette to be the gaming computer she's supposed to be, now that I've got her to agree to playing Halo, I wanted to expand into a few other games in my Steam library. Note the play time...

Because any time there's a 117, my thoughts go right to this fellow, of course! 😇

I'm really enjoying the puzzle aspect for Portal but my STARS I'm sucking at using either controller or mouse and keyboard. For some reason, looking to the left on the controller also makes me look totally upwards. Looking right looks totally down. I can compensate eventually to line things up but I've been stuck on a puzzle that requires you to push 2 buttons in different rooms, then quickly shoot 2 new portals to redirect an energy ball through the doors opened by those buttons. The timing is VERY short before the doors close again and I finally got thisclose to just giving up. I spent some time working on it again tonight and I'm not sure if I finally did get it or if there's some sort of "fail a puzzle 10 million times and just... go on anyway, please" element. 🤷‍♀️

Either way, I'm glad to have gotten past that one, lol! The next one is allowing me time to correct the weird ALL THE WAY UP or ALL THE WAY DOWN when trying to look left or right thing, so hopefully there won't be anything super short timed coming up. 🤞😣🤞 (I've tried correcting it by lowering the sensitivity, inverting the axis, etc. Nothing has made any difference, so I don't know what the problem is.) I actually do even worse with with mouse and keyboard because I'm not used to coordinating my hands like that and for some reason it stutters really bad when I use the mouse to look.

Ah well! I'm just glad to playing a game! Georgette just weirdly does better when I put a heavier graphics load on her. She still crashes every day but it tends to be while idle or while I'm watching a Youtube video. I dunno. We're just working through it, what can I say? 🤷‍♀️

Anyway! I'm taking a break from writing since I'll be starting Camp NaNo on the first, so thought this was a good time to try out a new game!

Hope you all are doing great! Much love to you, frens! 🤗🤗🤗���

[abyssembraced]

16. what is a plot you’ve been wanting to do for... anyone i guess lol? 

20 QUESTIONS FOR MULTI-MUSE BLOGS! (Still accepting!)

Oh no one of the harder questions-- fgdgshdhf

(Putting this under a cut since it ended up Long)

Honestly I tend to just look at my rp partners' muses, and then come up with plot ideas specifically for interactions with them and my muses. I dunno if I have any general ideas just Floating Around?

Ghost is my default muse for crossovers, since a) I Love Them and b) they have a very flexible crossover verse that allows me to just throw them as they naturally are anywhere, but stuff that actually takes place in Hallownest is always nice to have! But most if not all of my plot ideas are tied to specific people's muses (like our plans for Ghost and Arti's HK AU! Definitely still wanna do that <3), and if they're not, then it's more along the lines of "man it'd be fun to have interactions with [character] but no blog that I know of writes them"

I guess I have considered writing a drabble for Ghost's post Dream No More verse for a while, basically going into their thought processes and stuff and how they're eventually able to reform themself as a Shade in the physical realm, which could also function as an open starter for any HK muse who could realistically be around the Black Egg Temple when that happens. No idea when or if I'll ever actually write that though dgshff

Papyrus is harder to come up with specific plots for in general, at least when it comes to interacting with fellow Undertale muses, just because there's so much freedom in what can be done that my mind just goes blank asgshdhsf. Generally speaking, though, it could be fun to do stuff with some of Undertale's neutral endings!

I believe I've brought this up at least once on the blog, though, and I know I've plotted something along these lines with at least one friend, but I do like the idea of Papyrus interacting with ex-villains or people who have Done Bad Things and regret it. Since! My Paps follows the Otherworld theory, and in his original Deltarune universe, he was the Roaring Knight! Or was at least affiliated with them in some way, but I think at this point, regardless of what Papyrus' role actually ends up being in Deltarune, I'm tempted to stick to mine being the Knight, even if that ends up making him canon divergent. I'll see once we actually get more information, I guess! But I digress. Point is, He's Been There! He's done the terrible things and has his regrets! But since then he's worked to redeem himself and become the Great Papyrus, and that's how he knows everyone else can do that, too.

I don't know how many times I'd actually want to write a thread based around that, since doing it over and over would probably get repetitive, but! In my heart, Papyrus is surrounded by a bunch of scary-looking ex-villain or otherwise morally grey friends who would kill for him if needed <3 gfhfhsdhf

It's funny though, because Papyrus' past is typically something that he never talks about. Like-- Sans is the only one who really knows anything, and that's just because they're brothers and he was there when it all happened. Even Flowey, despite his constant RESETs and completionism and trying to learn everything about all the "characters" in his "game", might not be aware of everything. Maybe just the "Papyrus did some things in the past that he deeply regrets" part, since I could see that being relevant to a conversation between the two of them. Because even though Paps is a bad liar, he's damn good at keeping secrets and simply Not Talking about things. And yet! I keep thinking about scenarios where he might actually be compelled to bring it up dgshshdf.

And then GLaDOS... I'd just like to try writing in general dhsgfshf. Definitely still want her and Mirage to bitch at each other lmao. I've still gotta write out my thoughts on how the two might meet using Mirage's psychopomp AU, which I will do! Eventually!!

For her Rain World AU, I think interactions with fellow iterators would especially be neat! But I've uh. Also gotta write out more info for that verse too first dhshdhf

[blueshykitsune-blog]

Gotta love seeing RP blogs interacting with each other in anyway. Even when fighting. (Yea I just saw RP blogs fighting... it was fun!)

Oh anyways I know I said that @hiddeninsideaninsanemind was a writing blog but it's also a role-playing blog too. I usually do so via asks which is why I hardly ever did that.

Uhm... if anyone ain't a minor go ahead and send asks please.

If you are a minor or don't wanna go to that blog the go ahead and send asks to literally any other blog of mine but for role-playing go to @shy-the-fox

I might be bored... like in the sense of I wanna answer asks! (And pray Tumblr don't eat them... which is why I recommend going to an RP blog of mine. I have many.)

Actually if anyone wanna talk specifically Fnaf or Undertale I got my Aus that I allow random talk on btw.

I also got the dead plate one which I'm thinking of rebranding soon. But uh it's open. I just might be confused a bit of you talk about some things that are main game knowledge as I have been focusing on friends... oh and I started drawing again!

You all gotta wait a bit before I post the art but I will try to remember to post my art here later.

It will be OC art.. I have way too many OCs but eh. Soke say you can never have too many!

Oh actually I am taking drawing requests! I kinda do more cutesy drawings or a kinda horror realism... I don't have the drawings I made recently ready to show off but when I do I'll try to make sure you all can see what I mean.

(Oh and I was thinking of trying to figure out how to sell art or crafts of mine... like pins. Maybe mental health awareness, LGBTQIA+, physical disability awarenesses, or uhm I dunno quite yet but yeah... maybe some furry or therian things for people qho want that. I mean like pins... I uhm... have a pin maker. That's what I bring it up. I just gotta unbury the pin maker and the box with extra button making material.)

Actually was thinking of getting money for a mic... was thinking of maybe doing some um... talking videos... or like asmr? I dunno...

Uhm... yeah... I wanna do stuff if you can't tell. I also wanna clean my house up... but like... I gotta hangout with friends too! (I will go insane if I stop seeing friends... Not even a joke... I kinda wish it was.)

So yay... sadly I need money to do some of what I want. So a job might be nessicary soon... actually I really should have had a job by now and it sucks that I don't. I know it's mostly my fault but still!

Just a lot going on... and I really have the urge to just... get enough money to leave this house for like a year... longer if possible. I already was thinking of prices to do that... I just need people to live with and I might be able to afford it... I can't really drive so that's also why I uhm want to maybe live with someone else for a little while. Maybe... so far I only know maybe two people who can drive that isn't family. Then one who was trying to get their license... at least one. I uhm... don't have money to take the tests... and honestly... I'm not sure I can do the driving... sure I can drive a 4-wheeler but... I can only go maybe 40 to 60 on it before I start panicking and sometimes lose control of just that vehicle... like panicking as I realize how fast I was going and that I was slightly going to the side... likely I had my grandpa with me. Otherwise I could've gotten hurt or even lost the vehicle in a ditch... or side of the road over there. (They live in less populated area, hence us even being allowed to drive them around honestly. But the roads are dirt mostly and on both sides are large dips ghat are barely large as like the vehiclebut like it's l Iike a hole that goes from town passed where my grandparents over there live and to a mountain, may it's a volcano?)

anyways I should stop talking for now.

But if anyone wanna talk go ahead. And I am sorry if I accidentally deleted your messages or if Tumblr did. Also sometimes I answer asks via my notifications so I may accidentally forget to answer them as the notifications won't tell me if I pressed them versus looking at them and reloading the screen. And sometimes I do know my tumblr glitches and doesn't give me the notification until the next day/next time I turn either tumblr off or my phone.

At least for main, usually it does better for my other blogs... sometimes it doesn't even give me a notification too which is weird. I try looking at my asks tho as much as possible but I had one inbox try glitching... said I had two asks yet only showed one and I didn't see one in the drafts and I know I answered the rest so I may have to restart my phone soon or go ask hunting of it doesn't get fixed soon.