#(why am i not the one interviewing him why must i suffer)

[russellius]

2024 ITALIAN GP Qualifying : P3

[occamstfs]

Chauffeur Swap

Another epistolary TF ! Cocky office worker to an equally cocky gym bro, trait swap + IQ Drain aplenty -Occam

Monday May 6th

Morning 

I’m beyond thrilled that I’m finally being looked at for a promotion. I’ve worked my ass off for this company ever since I graduated and I am not going to let this chance slip through my fingers. It’s such a good gig, in the week leading up to them filling the position they’re letting us use the company’s chauffeurs as just one little hint of the luxury this promotion will afford us.

At least, that’s what I thought before my driver arrived to pick me up and I saw what a slob of a man my driver was! I mean my word! I thought it was a prank or something else untoward! I’m sure he could tell too, I could not muster even a shy smile, nothing to do but grimace. God and that was before I got in! He must have just been an Uber hired or something because it smelled like a locker room in there! Truly vile!

God willing this is a one off occurrence, hate to get the oaf in trouble. Though judging by the state of his hygiene though he clearly needs to be taught a lesson somehow! I mean even with this job I couldn't afford to buy cologne enough to hide that stink- perhaps some dog-strength febreze- Ha!

Evening

Godddd fuck! The last thing I needed after such a stressful day was to be greeted by that animal’s face- worse yet, his SCENT! I underestimated just how grueling this interview charade would be. It is just one final hurdle to the big leagues though. I will leave petty contrivances like suffering through this unpleasant car ride behind.

Just to make the time pass with greater speed I put forth some small talk. Not like I could hold my breath near long enough to make a difference, and it couldn’t hurt to vent about what a hassle the day had been hm? After this though he started talking about himself and fwoh- could I not care less about whatever surely protein-fart based drivel or beer-brained diatribe he launched into. 

Perhaps this is unfair, I did not deign to listen to him. So perhaps he’s better than he seems. But who could blame me, sitting in that car was punishment enough to earn me tuning him out. And! And! For him to have the benefit of the doubt surely he could at least wear deodorant! Hm. Unless he is trying? God that would be depressing, to be so, ugh- I continue to hold out hope I never see him again

Tuesday May 7th

Morning

Mm, I simply must develop a better poker face if I am to continue to suffer in this odor for the week, god forbid even longer- I have prepared accordingly however, yesterday no one mentioned it at work but I swear I kept smelling it, him, all day? Same when I got home, just everytime I calmed down from work bam! I smelled this horrid car ride. I am bringing my cologne to work with me, I plan to put it at lest once more when I arrive at work.

It’s just, Why is this my problem right! I don’t know what his problem is, but I don’t see why I have to suffer because of it right? I should not have to deal with someone like this, he’s supposed to be working for me. I uh, it’s not like I think I’m better than him I just, well I am better than him. Hm, I lost my train of thought. 

Ugh, I keep spacing out today- I’m sure it has to do with my twice-daily rides with, hm. I don’t even know his name. It’s? You know I don’t care. I just need to take it easy, I’m not letting this fucking dude-bro pitstain of a man bother me this much! I’m getting my bag and he is not worth a second further of my, uh, attention.

Evening

I have a headache and I don’t know how it is his fault but it has to be. This whole thing is setting me on edge, I need to chill about Ben. That’s right Ben! I got his name, I actually told him about my headache and he told me that he usually meditates to clear his mind- which crazy that someone so, despite all appearances, mindful treats his body like a sty but- Well not a sty I suppose, or at the very least a well built one- 

Ah, that’s not quite appropriate is it. God he is hot though. Honestly sitting there just breathing in his, uh, scent, helped with the headache. Wait no, it was the meditation, God, why can I not stop thinking of his fucking B.o. My headache was gone but now I feel I’m beginning to run a fever, or at the very least I need to turn down the AC or something-

Better not affect my work tomorrow.

Wednesday May 8th

Morning 

Not gonna be a good one. I fucking woke up late which ive literally never done before! I barely got myself up and ready in time and didn’t realize until the car but I didn’t bring my cologne with me. It turned out to be the least of my problems however as when I got in his car I fully spilled my coffee all over the backseat. Hopefully this will mask his putridity because I now have to sit in the front with him for the ride.

He must know. He has to know it has to be some kinda sick, uh, fetish or something. Its untendable untenable. god get your shit together Jacob. Its so hard to focus on anything else now that Im sitting right by him. I need to talk to someone about this, fuck its like hes exposing his pits on purpose. He wants me to stare at him, i bet. Bet he gets some sort of sick rise out of me. Im sure him and all the other chauffeurs probably get together and jack off about how repulsive and, uh, strong they all are.

God Fuck! Get me out of this car im losing my mind! Need to, ill just get some work done on the commute, should help i think. God its getting hot in here again or something, so help me if this fucker starts actively sweating im gonna lose it

Evening

i just couldnt get anything done today i dont know what was fucking up dude? it was just so hot in there and i mustve forgotten to put deodorant on this morning, people kept complaining but i didnt even notice? i guess i was sweating more than usual, but like, it was so hot in that office and my clothes felt weird, tight almost. As if tho, lol im sure no one even really noticed that i was off.

OH speaking of, Ben really put himself together on the ride home today. He was wearing a button up and everything, must have seen how nice im living and got his shit together! Maybe ive been to hard on the douche? nah car still smelled like shit haha! Or i think it did? didnt really notice it until like halfway thru?

Fuck my clothes are so tight all of a sudden, godd its so hot actually. I look fucking huge in this tiny little monkey suit- almost like Benjamin ha- as if id stoop so low, even if i started getting massive not like id be dum enough to be on his level lol

Thursday May 9th

Morning

Fuckin couldnt find ANYTHING this morning dude! it was like someone came in and took or hid everything i need for work today. ended up having to just fuckin leave for the car without a suit jacket- pretty sure ive got an extra in my office tho so were chill there. mm probably shouldve shaved tho lol

Oh yeah the files! i had some reports that i needed to bring in but totally couldnt find them! Turns out benjamin had them the whole time it was weird, guess i left them last night. but he was like such an ass about it, like he knows anything though the uh, jock, jerk uh. hes actually dressed better than me rn isnt he. Finally threw on a dress shirt, surely inspired by me haha- pulling it off quite well too, his chest hair peaking up through mm-

Fuckkk dude my cocks kinda getting hard looking at him, starting to smell musty in the car too, wait oh shit i didnt even notice that it didnt reek when i got in! weird that its starting to stink now tho whats up with that, looks like hes finally noticing tho ha! its nice to see him finally react to how bad my uh, no how I GOD, how bad fuckin’ he stinks obviously. whatever, ive got more important stuff to think about.

Evening 

okay work was like, not fuckin chill today. idk what was up but like, every little thing i did today just wasnt good enough apparently like okay?? you know me, if something seems off clearly, fucking OBVIOUSLY it uh, i? god my head just keeps going blank i dont get it, im just. Huh, kinda smells like Ben all of a sudden, oh fuck lol my pits have completely sweat through my shirt-

None of this matters anyway though bro! Because i just had the BEST sesh with Ben after work!! honestly the work shit doesnt even bother me, shouldve seen me its like i am a natural at this shit i was getting a pump like ive done it a hundred times. im sure it smelled like a locker room on the ride home lol

OH! I didnt even say, it was all ben’s idea!!! he said the gym always helps him when uh, things get too hard to think about and fuckk bro hes so right. hes so, lol i almost said hes so smart- he definitely knows how to work out though, he kept helping me with my technique but im prety sure he just wanted an excuse to touch me- 

not that im complaining LMAO- every time he did it was like i felt myself getting stronger, and less worried about all those yes-man suit fuckers! hed adjust my arms and i would feel my biceps just suddenly pump larger, hed bump his hands into my pecs while spotting me and theyd just force the bar up even faster, wish hed just go ahead and grab my cock lol

theres time yet too- gonna crash at his place tonight! hopefully ill get to see him put his magic fingers and tight body to use cause fuck bro idk if it was the pump or what but i dont think my balls have ever been this blue, like any time i try to think about, oh ughh, work i just. mm everything in my body just begs me to fucking blow a load- 

Friday May 10th

Morning

fucker just went to bed early- got me all riled up and then i had to jack off alone. felt way better than usual tho, my cock seems bigger to lol, dk whats up with that. wanted to try again this morning but ben was just on my fucking ass trying to get me out the door 

i didnt have any of my clothes, duh, so i just threw on some of his, crazy how much they fit me? they even kinda already smell like me lol. he actually put a suit on which seems wild, funny that i look like a slob and he looks like some uh, fancy guy. Like i should right? uhh is my headache coming back? lol idk but looking at him in that fucking suit sure is making it hard to focus-

ben said i can just change n stuff when we got to the office, its why hes dressed up. ill go ahead and drive us and then hell just run up and get my clothes, idk if theyll fit tho? feel like im larger than i was for some reason- oh yeah my massive fucking pump lol- 

mh speaking of pump, maybe while hes up there ill have time to jack another one out, not like anyonell see or care ya? like its a problem im about to be the fuckin alpha of this company or uh, something. itll be done before hes back, only evidence will be cum stains on his clothes lol. ugh it smells so fucking dank in here i might just cum without touching it lol

Evening

shit man, dont know what i was doing? i feel like i was supposed to go into work today but ben says from now on im just his driver. which easy gig right lol? doesnt even care that i dont shower huhuh-

he got his big promotion today!!! he looked so smug and hot when he came down to tell me, and he promised wed have some fun about it when he got home tonight- just gotta drop him off at some stupid fancy dinner ill probably hit the gym while hes there. gotta keep it up or ill look like some fucking dweeb

plus that means ill get the car totaly filled with my bo- hell fuckin love that, after he gets a good whiff no way wil he not want to fuck then and there huhuh fuck, kinda needs to get that exercise in now that hes doing whatever bitchass shit they do all they day up there needs to give in and just fuck me finally its been so, ugh long and my balls feel so full, and im sweating so much god im fogging up the windows loli better be careful i need to keep it together until then urgh- 

god i just smell so fucken hot

[sorcerersandskillusers]

Fyodor and the Devil: Analysis of Fyodor's motives and role in the narrative

Asagiri has stated that he based Fyodor not on Dostoyevsky the author but on a specific scene from one of his books The Brothers Karamazov where Ivan Karamazov confronts “the devil” in his room.

(It's a really good book, you should read it if you have time. Also. fun fact, Fyodor and the devil wear the same hat, “His soft fluffy white hat was out of keeping with the season.”)

Having read the book and gone over this scene, I realized that this could be used to find out a lot more about Fyodor as a character than we see in the story, including a potential glimpse at his real motivations.

A bit of context for the scene. Ivan Kramazov is a clever but deeply trouble man who has struggling with the concept of God and rationalising him with the cruelty of humanity, at one point while very sick, Ivan starts seeing a man in his room who claims to be “the devil”. Their conversation is a fascinating look at morality and why evil exists in the world, and if you look at it closely it reveals a lot about the role of a “villain” in a story.

This line from “the devil” is really interesting to me, and seems to explain a lot about Fyodor’s character, as well as align perfectly with how Asagiri has described Fyodor in interviews:

Before time was, by some decree which I could never make out, I

was predestined 'to deny' and yet I am genuinely good-hearted and not at all inclined to negation.

'No, you must go and deny, without denial there's no criticism and what would a journal be without a column of criticism?' 

Without criticism it would be nothing but one 'hosannah.' But nothing but hosannah is not enough for life, the hosannah must be tried in the crucible of doubt and so on, in the same style. But I don't meddle in that, I didn't  create it, I am not answerable for it. Well, they've chosen their scapegoat, they've made me write the column of criticism and so life was made possible.

Basically the devil is saying that he was created because without evil then good means nothing, if everything was perfect then nothing would happen or change, life couldn’t exist, so he was forced to be that evil even though he never wanted to be.

This is so similar to how Fyodor is described in the BSD exposition 2020:

Fyodor is the antagonist, he is the villain of the story, that is the role he plays. This explains why he chooses to commit so many atrocities in the name of  “following God's plan”. It even connects to his line in The Dead Apple, and his ability name. He is both crime and punishment, as “crime” or sin originates with the devil, but it's also the devil who punishes sinners.

(I mean the title of the episode he is introduced in is literally “My Ill Deeds Are the Work of God” by committing evil acts he is fulfilling God's purpose for him.)

And if Fyodor is really based on “the devil” it's very likely he also either does or used to wish for release from this role that was assigned to him, but he knows that he cannot stray from his path or the story will cease to exist. My evidence for Fyodor wanting to be free of his mission is just one interaction, when he kills Karma.

Look at Fyodor's expression here, this is the only time in the entire series where we see him look truly sad. This isn't an act, there is no one there for him to trick, he simply says a quiet prayer for the life of a boy who's only purpose was to suffer and die.

This next part of “the devils” speech actually seems to fit very well for Dazai, it's interesting since he is the narrative foil to Fyodor and clearly is a very similar character.

We understand that comedy; I, for instance, simply ask for annihilation. No, live, I am told, for there'd be nothing without you.

If everything in the universe were sensible, nothing would happen. There would be no events without you, and there must be events. So against the grain I serve to produce events and do what's irrational because I am commanded to.

For all their indisputable intelligence,men take this farce as something serious, and that is their tragedy. They suffer, of course... but then they live, they live a real life, not a fantastic one, for suffering is life. Without suffering what would be the pleasure of it? It would be transformed into an endless church service; it would be holy, but tedious. But what about me? I suffer, but still, I don't live. I am x in an indeterminate equation. I am a sort of phantom in life who has lost all beginning and end, and who has even forgotten his own name. 

This ties perfectly into Dazai and Fyodor’s debate on the nature of God in the sky casino arc.

Dazai here points out that it's not perfection and harmony that make the world move, it's the irrational, it's the foolishness and stupidity of humans who charges into life making a million mistakes but always finding ways to fight on through it. Here Dazai and Fyodor represent the conflicting sides of “the devil” with Fyodor embodying his mission to drive the world and Dazai embodying his secret love for, and wish to join, humanity.

“I love men genuinely, I've been greatly calumniated! Here when I stay withyou from time to time, my life gains a kind of reality and that's what I like most of all. Yousee, like you, I suffer from the fantastic and so I love the realism of earth. Here, with you, everything is circumscribed, here all is formulated and geometrical, while we have nothing but indeterminate equations! I wander about here dreaming. I like dreaming. Besides, on earth I become superstitious. Please don't laugh, that's just what I like, to become superstitious. I adopt all your habits here: I've grown fond of going to the public baths, would you believe it?

And I go and steam myself with merchants and priests. What I dream of is becoming incarnate once for all and irrevocably in the form of some merchant's wife weighing eighteen stone, and of believing all she believes. My ideal is to go to church and offer a candle in simple-hearted faith, upon my word it is. Then there would be an end to my sufferings.”

“"Why not, if I sometimes put on fleshly form? I put on fleshly form and I take the consequences. Satan sum et nihil humanum a me alienum puto."*

* I am Satan, and deem nothing human alien to me.”

This piece from the devil feels like it could be a description of Dazai’s character, his wish above all else to find happiness and love as a human despite believing he is a demon. Both Dazai and Fyodor have strong ties to the Devil, both of them are often described as demonic or inhuman, with emphasis placed on the darkness of their souls and the isolation they feel due to their minds.

But the difference between them is how they dealt with it, Fyodor chose to embrace it and fully commit to his role in the story as the ultimate evil for the greater good, but Dazai has always shown a fasciation with humans and has spent his life trying to connect to them and find meaning in his existence.

Finally, let's look at what we can learn about Fyodor’s motivation. Fyodor is the villain, he is the final obstacle the protagonist has to overcome, he is the driving force behind so much of Atsushi’s life and the reason so much of the series has played out at all. He sent Shibusawa to torture Atsushi as a child, he was an informant to the guild who put the bounty on Atsushi making the mafia turn on him, he was involved in the guild invasion, and obviously he was the master mind behind cannibalism and Decay of Angles.

If he is aware of his position as the antagonist, then he also is probably aware Atsushi is the protagonist, he knew he was the “envy of all ability users” after all, so he knows Atsushi has some significance to the world as a whole.

Atsushi is also the “guide to the book” which is seemingly Fyodor’s end goal, so even though Fyodor doesn’t seem to be focused on Atsushi, he has been indirectly influencing his whole journey up to this point. This also explains why Fyodor is only moving actively now, because the protagonist has appeared and his role as the villain can finally be fulfilled and he, like “the devil” can finally get the “annihilation” he asked for. Hence, Fyodor’s true goal is to erase himself from the narrative.

There is actually quite a lot of evidence for this. The obvious part is that Fyodor wants to rid the world of ability users while he himself is an ability user, he cannot exist in his perfect world. 

Then there’s the fact that in the Dead Apple, Fyodor calls himself “crime” if Fyodor is “crime” or “sin” then a world free of sin would not contain him at all

Even when Fyodor talks about sin, he says how humans are easily manipulated into killing each other, while he constantly manipulates characters into killing each other, he is the cause of the sin he fights.

A really strong bit of evidence is this interview with Asagiri and Harukawa

Not only does Asagiri reiterate Fyodors role as the person who moves the story, Harukawa specifically mentions that Fyodor might be trying to create a world without ability users because he thought it was a “bad thing to do” aka the action a villain would take that would lead to a hero stopping them.

“Dos-san is the biggest villain in the story so far, but I have continued to draw him with spaced out eyes that are neither righteous nor evil for a long time. The only time I drew his eyes completely white was when he said he would create a world without skill users. It was because, in reality, we would decide what is evil or not by our own scales, but I wasn't sure if he himself was doing it because he thought that was a bad thing to do.”

This also connects to how Fyodor was able to understand Gogol when no one else could, Gogol is chooses to fight against the way the world is to prove to himself that he truly is free. Fyodor, who is bound to play a part in a narrative, would understand that feeling and that longing to be truly free.

To be clear, I don’t think that Fyodor is really a good person whose just been trapped in an awful position against his will, we see many times that Fyodor revels in his cruelty and enjoys killing and torturing others. Its the same with “the devil” in the book, although he hates the job he was given, he tells Ivan stories of the people he’s corrupted and seems very proud of himself for it.

My personal interpretation is that the sadistic zelot personality Fyodor displays is a mixture of a mask and a coping mechanism, kind of similar to Yosano developing a sadistic side to help her deal with the guilt of half killing people in order to heal them. I think it makes sense that after centuries of cruelty and manipulation a person would become detached and stop really caring about the lives he destroys.

This analysis is partially unfinshed but I wanted to post it now and see what other people think of it.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 17

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Scar's pov*

Poultryman leaves quickly but you can't help but keep feeling suspicious. Nothing concrete and his explanation does make sense but you can't help but feel that It was weird for him to just be there like that...

He said he heard of it but ... How did he do so quickly? And why was he just standing there...menacingly?

You don't get the time to think about it further and quickly forget about it as Cub messages you, the hero association wants to talk to you for some reason and that means something is wrong...

...You are a bit worried.

...

You uh... don't really know what to do, your fight and flight is going off in a way only a council of business people can make it go off.

The council is staring at you, you thought they wanted to tell you something not look at you with... judgement in their eyes for like ten minutes straight.

You try to break the tension by initiating the conversation yourself.

"H-hello?"

...

"You wanted to speak with me?"

They are still silent? Did you say something wrong? You literally just said hi-

"Indeed, a decision has been talen that we believe you should be informed of."

Ok, not silent anymore, that's good... Wait decision? They aren't demoting you or something, right?

"Did something happen?"

They look to eachother...ok...even more worrying. It's fine everything is fine, you are totally calm and chill and not anxious at all.

"No, but something will."

"O-ok?"

Points for being ominous for no reason.

"Hotguy, you cannot continue to work alone. The stakes are growing, it is becoming too dangerous.."

"Oh!"

Oh! Are they making a hero team? You always wanted one of those-

"We are not going to waste heroes on a team"

And just like that your hopes are dashed and crushed. Why are you still here...just to suffer?

"But then-"

"Hotguy, how would you feel about a sidekick?"

A... Sidekick? You don't know how to feel, superheroes are supposed to have them though so It must be a good idea!...Wait.

"W-who's going to be my sidekick? You said you weren't going to waste heroes."

"That has not yet bern decided, we plan to start an hiring process of sorts soon.""

Hiring? What's this? An office job?"

"Do not question us, Hotguy. It is thanks to us you are even here to begin with"

"Right! I am sorry."

"... This is where you come in"

"Huh?"

"A sidekick should not only be capable but should also work well with the hero, you'll have to be the final judge of character "

"Oh that makes sense... So I'll interview the candidates?"

"Not directly, we cannot risk that, you'll just have to prepare some questions for them to answer"

"Oh... Alright! I'll do it"

*Mumbo's pov*

You are in your apartment, Grian is off... somewhere. You have stopped questioning him around the time you walked on him peeling grapes ... You just hope he doesn't randomly die or something, that would be quite unfortunate.

You turn on the tv, not something you do often but it's a good way to pass the time when you aren't working on something which is thinking about it...very rarely. Surely today has been uneventful.

The mayor was kidnapping by his own office and Hotguy is randomly hiring a sidekick.

What in the world has happened today??

*Grian's pov*

So Hotguy is searching for a sidekick, what interesting timing.

Well, you cannot waste this opportunity to have fun, can you.

You prepare an outfit, you even have a perfect name for this.

Cuteguy.

...

You might have too many personas now... nah.

End of Chapter 4

[menlove]

now i'm curious .. why do you think john was gay?

disclaimer: this is not bi erasure & if anyone tries to start discourse w me about that i do not careeeee sorry. i care deeply abt bi erasure but he never labeled his own sexuality & as a figure of the past it's more than fair to speculate that when he talked abt his attraction to women it was from the pov of a gay man dealing w comphet. if he were alive today and saying he was bisexual i'd leave it alone but he's not so i'm not. sexuality can absolutely be fluid! and he very well may have been bisexual! this is just my personal theory & interpretation of things he's said through the lens of viewing him as a gay man. MOVING ON.

i need you to imagine all of this to the benny hill theme. let's go

with the beatles by alistair taylor pg. 98 (at least in the pdf copy i have- there's no actual page numbers so it might not match up exactly if you have the print copy)

and from the same book like a paragraph down- this one is not AS crazy bc there's a million explanations but also not being able to get it up for the one woman you've fantasized about forever...... oh brother

in a description of an auctioned off audio tape:

this :|

this from JOOOOAN BAEZ. JOAN BAEZ.

(source)

"It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists."

this infamous quote (source from the wonderful @amoralto who is a great resource for beatles archiving)

"He was completely open and uninhibited with her, as she learned to be with him, owning up to his deepest sexual fantasies—like one of making love to a woman in her eighties, or even older, whose veined and wrinkled hands would be covered in diamonds. Over time, she became accustomed to his particular style of backhanded compliment. 'Do you know why I like you?' he remarked on one occasion. 'It’s because you look like a bloke in drag. You’re like a mate.' Yoko laughingly replied that she thought he must be 'a closet fag.'"

john lennon: the life by philip norman (take him w a grain of salt. also the doc i have for this one is html so i truly would have 0 clue on what page number this would be) BUT this is also corroborated by a yoko quote herself in a 1981 new york magazine interview

no, no, no by yoko ono which. what do i even need to say.

"I remember it, vaguely. I was out of me mind with drink – when you get down to the point where you drink all the empty glasses, that drunk. And he was saying, 'Well, come on, John, tell us,' something like that, 'Tell me about you and Brian, we all know,' like that. And obviously, I must have been un– uh, f– frightened of the fag in me to get so angry at that. You know, when you’re twenty-one, you want to be a man, and all that. And for the first time I thought, 'I could kill this guy.' I just saw it, like on a screen, that if I hit him once more, I – that’s gonna be it."

this other infamous quote uploaded in an audio by @amoralto (source)

"John believed in my work as an artist wasn’t accepted in part because I am a woman. He got angry when people said about me, 'She’s not a woman, she’s a female impersonator.' John said to me, 'If I had been gay and gotten together with a guy who was talented like you, after ten years that guy would have become famous as an artist in his own right. Maybe we should come out and say, 'Actually, Yoko is a guy.' Maybe that will do it!' That made him laugh a lot. John learned about women’s oppression from me, but I learned a lot about men’s vulnerability from him. He expressed his vulnerability, unlike a lot of other men. I learned that it’s not just men oppressing women. Men also suffer, they feel fear and guilt. For example, I thought the fact that men buy prostitutes was terrible. It filled me with indignation. But John explained it differently. 'It’s humiliating for a guy to buy a whore,' he told me. 'It’s proof that he’s rejected, he’s just so desperate.' I had never thought of that: for me who go to prostitutes, sex is connected to being rejected and humiliated. I always hated people who committed sex crimes, but through John I tuned in to their pain. John told me that it was unfortunate for the poor guy whose sexual preference was a crime and something to be feared. John’s perspective was, 'I’m lucky I’m normal.'"

yoko interview with jon wiener in come together: john lennon in his time. just..... whatever the hell is going on here.

interview w lisa robinson in hit parader "a conversation with john lennon" 1975

"With his four months’ greater experience, Sheridan was an ideal guide to the Reeperbahn’s more exotic diversions, like the Schwülen laden. Stu Sutcliffe later wrote home in amazement that the transvestites were 'all harmless and very young' and it was actually possible to speak to one 'without shuddering.' Though raised amid the same homophobia as his companions, John seemed totally unshocked by St. Pauli’s abundant drag scene; indeed, he often seemed actively to seek it out. 'There was one particular club he used to like,' Tony Sheridan remembers, 'full of these big guys with hairy hands, deep voices—and breasts. But they used to make an effort to talk English. There was something about the place that seemed to make John feel at home.'"

another from john lennon: the life so take it w a grain of salt

so many excerpts from skywriting by word of mouth

and more!

and thats all i'm hunting down for now but he also like Continuously went on and on and and on and ON about how his relationship w yoko worked bc she was so much like a man/mate/what have you

[nametakensff]

if you are still taking prompts (and if you are not please feel free to ignore this!) my request is: Finger under nose + edge of a sneeze for ANY disco elysium char!

I am still taking prompts and was sooo happy to see this one in my inbox 💕 This ended up jussst under 3k (whoops) and features sneezing from H/arry, K/im, J/ean and J/udit because why not!!

The M/ajor C/rimes U/nit find themselves at a crime scene - in a Perfumery 😇

~~~~~

Content:

M/M, Mostly M sneezes but F mentioned, H/arry has a sneezing fetish, K/im is a kinky motherfucker, J/ean is suffering, allergic sneezes/sneezing induced by scents, sympathetic sneezes, rapid sneezes, mentions of hayfever sneezes, briefly mentioned inducing, masturbation, teeny mention of mild mess, spray, sneezing on someone's face, elements of domination/submission, verbal demands, sneeze denial, hold-backs, K/im manually holds back Harry's sneeze, some caretaking, some voyeurism

CW: Mentions of serial killings and bodies in typical crime fic fashion, nothing too graphic; K/im briefly holds H/arry in place by gripping his chin

NSFW - Minors DNI!

Harry had to admit, it was a pretty sweet deal this particular serial killer had scored. Having access to a Perfumery within which to conceal the stench of rotting corpses seemed like a stroke of genius. The killer, however, was anything but; after he’d filled the underground crawl space entirely, he’d deposited several bodies in the attic, giving the poor insulation expert who’d ventured up there that winter a veritable heart attack.

The discovery of these bodies was a huge deal. Firstly, the location of this Perfumery was one of the bougiest, most affluent streets in Le Jardin; the middle and upper-middle classes of Revachol were in near hysteria at the very suggestion that such abhorrent crimes had crossed over into their relative bubble of high society. Secondly, from the freshest corpses alone, victims were identified as missing person records spanning several much less affluent precincts. By the time Harry arrived en scene with Kim, Judit and Jean in tow, the Perfumery was bustling with cops from all over.

Several officers from the GRIH greeted Kim as he entered the building, pulling him into a quick conversation. Jean scanned the premises immediately, an intense look of concentration on his weathered face. The four of them were eager to see if any further information could assist in several of their own open cases of missing persons, and it seemed the other precincts had had a similar idea. What a number this guy has fucking done, Harry thought to himself. Fucking sicko. He watched as a body was carried out on a covered stretcher and swallowed the urge to cry.

They’d been the last to arrive, and as the morning stretched on and other officers confirmed all they could, they were soon on their way. It was just as well; there wasn’t an awful lot to glean here as the bodies were slowly taken away, and the main suspect was already in custody. The employees of the Perfumery seemed almost robotic in their answers as they were interviewed, no doubt out of partial trauma but also out of boredom; by the time the 41st Major Crimes Unit got to them, they must have repeated the same statements ad nauseum already.

“Well,” Harry started, turning to his squad after they’d excused the last shaking staff member, “I guess that’s all we can do for now. Let’s burn rubber, gentlemen and lady.”

“Finally.” Jean muttered, striding towards the door, looking even more irritated than usual. Harry tried to swallow like a normal person when he noticed Jean was ever-so subtly pressing the tip of one finger down on his philtrum, the way he had done countless other times in Harry’s presence when he was desperately holding back a sneeze or twenty.

The aforementioned interviews had been difficult not only for the depressing subject matter; several officers had sneezed throughout the day, evidently bothered by the florid scents of the converging perfumes. Being such a high-class establishment, however, there wasn’t an overwhelming deluge of conflicting scents; the smell was strong, sure, but not enough as to be unpleasant or overpowering, at least in theory. Even so, Harry had thought he might sneeze several times. He neither heard Jean nor Kim sneeze, though he had seen Jean’s shoulders trembling incriminatingly, and saw Kim tense into a raised fist out of the corner of his eye. He was beyond grateful when one cop with a particularly attention-seeking, cock-teasingly desperate sneeze finally left. He had been so close to getting a hard-on that having not gotten one, he felt pathetically proud of himself.

Judit and Jean climbed into the back of the MC as Harry sat shotgun. Kim expertly pulled out of the cluster of other police vehicles and started them back to the station.

“So,” Harry started, pretending as hard as he could that he hadn’t just heard Jean’s breath snagging in tell-tale irritation. “That’s two missing persons identified, straight off the bat. Which is fucking awful, but at least it’s something.”

“Yes,” Kim said, sounding grave. “I was hoping we would locate some of the missing individuals but now, given the situation…I just hope there aren’t more.”

Harry nodded, hearing Kim but also hearing the tiny, definitive little gasp Jean made behind him. He again tried to swallow quite normally.

“Would it be worth gathering the rest of the unit today rather than tomorrow morning for a briefing, Lieutenant?” Judit asked from the back seat.

“I think so.” Kim nodded, weaving in and out of traffic. “I think if we…”

Harry’s brain could no longer focus on work, not one little bit. Kim and Judit continued to talk, but all he could hear was the barely audible swallows of air and shuddering exhalations as Jean sneezed, over and over again.

“-Gk’t! Nndt! Hh-Gxt! Ngxt’u! Hh-“

“-get Officer Torson to-“

“-Dtch! Hh’Gxt!-Dssh! Hh’Tsh’u!!-“

“-all go over the files from-“

“Hh’TSch’u! Hp’Tssht! HAH-Tsch!!-Tshh!-TSCH’Ieww!! hH-“

“-do you think, Harry?”

Harry blinked. Fuck. Kim and Judit were waiting for his input. He opened his mouth, hoping that whatever came out was a more appropriate response than the simpering moan he had been repressing, when Jean saved him the effort with an uncharacteristically harsh sneeze.

“-IhgK’TSHHH’IEWww!! H’ohh…”

Harry’s fingers dug into his thighs, wrinkling the fabric of his bellbottom trousers. How the fuck was he supposed to think of anything other than stroking his cock, which was absolutely and entirely hard at this point, when Jean was sneezing like that? Like he had the biggest tickle of his life, like it was too big for his body to contain or purge with his ordinarily diminutive sneezes? Why did he have to sigh like that afterwards?! It was unfairly erotic. Judit and Kim’s simultaneous and emphatically concerned blessings in response only made things worse; his cock throbbed over the fuss.

“Fuck, sorry. I was in there for too long. I feel like shit.” Jean sniffled, sounding suddenly much rougher than any of them had expected him to. Harry ventured a glance at him in the rear-view mirror, really wishing he hadn’t when he took in the sight of his twitchy pink nose and equally pink, watery eyes. He was a picture of allergic misery. Harry scrunched his eyes shut as his cock gave an enthusiastic throb. When he opened them and glanced sidelong at Kim, Kim was peering right back at him. The second they made eye contact, the Lieutenant’s gaze flicked away, the ghost of a smirk on his lips. Bastard.

“Don’t apologise – you can’t help it.” Judit started. “I think we were all in there too long. Our uniforms are probably setting you off right now.”

Jean wasn’t able to respond, at least in words, because he’d started sneezing again. Harry felt giddy with arousal. It had been ages since he’d heard Jean sneeze like this – even when his hayfever was awful, he had prescription-strength antihistamines to ease the reaction. With nothing at all, he was a wreck.

“-DDtsh’u-NTt’shu-HGxtt!! HaHH’GXT’TShhuu-!! Fuck…”

All three of them blessed him again, Harry hoping at the very least Judit couldn’t make out the breathlessness in his voice. Only ten minutes until they were back at the precinct and Harry could fuck his own fist in one of several men’s bathrooms.

~~~~~

In the end, Judit had volunteered to drive Jean home. He was so allergic that it didn’t take much to convince him to take the rest of the day off; he was exhausted and completely disinterested in continuing to sneeze his brains out on display for the rest of the unit. Harry and Kim had gone to shower and change into spare clothes, realising they had become nose-blind to just how much they stank of perfume. It was enough that some of their fellow officers had actually recoiled, which Harry found entirely over dramatic given how many dead bodies they dealt with on the regular.

Harry ended up jerking off in the shower stall right next to Kim’s. It had been entirely too much, watching Jean’s head bob forward so helplessly, the perpetual agony of the tickle in his nose worn plainly across his face. Before she had left, Judit also sneezed, several feminine “Hahdt’Tsch’iew!”s that seemed to shock her and went straight to Harry’s interested dick. The final straw, however, was the unrepressed double that Kim let out beside him, right as Harry felt his orgasm starting to crest.

“Huhp’TISHHH’Ieww!! Hh-! HaHPT’TZSSsshh!!”

He groaned far more loudly than he had intended to. His cock pulsed in his hand, waves of pleasure flowing through him as he was mercilessly tipped over the edge. Sighing in relief, he fucked gently into his fist as he continued to streak the wall with the result of his orgasm. Kim’s shower turned off with an abrupt screech of the handle.

“I’ll see you shortly, Lieutenant-Yefreitor.”

Hearing the amused edge to Kim’s voice, Harry knew without a doubt that he had made himself sneeze on purpose. His cock twitched happily with a final tremor.

~~~~~~

Harry really thought he had escaped the Perfumery entirely unscathed – the shower and changing of clothes was more of a courtesy for everyone else. It soon became apparent, however, that rather than him having no reaction at all, it had merely been delayed.

“…IIIIESSSSSHHHhhtttt!!!”

He barrelled forward with it, raising an elbow a second too late and dappling the paperwork he was completing with moisture. He snuffled miserably, squeezing his itchy, red eyes shut. Even with the antihistamines Judit had brought him, courtesy of Gottlieb (Harry’s regular supply of store-bought antihistamines pilfered from Jean’s emergency stash gone, he was irritated to discover), he was getting little to no relief.

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world. The sneezes weren’t rapid, nor nonstop. But what they were was a tease. They would come and go, hitching his breath with a promising tickle before leaving him hanging, sinuses prickling. He’d been working on that most recent sneeze for well over ten minutes, which made it all the more embarrassing he’d been unable to cover.

The rest of the unit were giving him a predictably wide berth, but it didn’t stop the joking. That wasn’t all too much of an issue for Harry. Even this prolonged, slow-motion sneeze attack was bearable. What wasn’t was the sympathetic sneezes he kept triggering in Kim – a quirk he should have gotten used to by now but wasn’t sure he ever would.

He glanced over at Kim’s desk in time to see him sneezing into his wrist, pen barely pausing as he worked through the convulsions – only just audible, yet deliciously desperate to Harry’s keen ears.

“Hh’Ggkt’shu! Ngxt’shh! Hh’Nndt’shoo!! Ouf…”

Harry sniffled again, repressing the urge to cough as his inflamed sinuses prickled anew. Stupid Kim and his sexy sneezes and god-tier ability to ignore everything else in the pursuit of immaculate administrative duties. He hissed a little as squirming in his seat pressed the too-tight fabric around his crotch into his balls, hot and heavy and now incredibly strangled. With a resigned sigh, he leaned his forehead on crossed arms and closed his eyes.

~~~~~

“-Lieutenant. Harry?”

Harry lifted his head, consciousness returning to him after his entirely unintended nap, and saw Judit hovering over him with a kind, concerned expression. He barely had a moment to take in the fact that he had been drooling in his sleep when the bastard tickle had him gasping in preparation for another sneeze.

“HAAAH’GKXXTtt!!”

Oh, that had been close. Twisting to the side and biting down hard, last minute, had prevented him from sneezing all over her. She’d foreseen it, of course, and he needn’t have bothered with such a degree of contortion, but he was relieved nonetheless. Less relieved to discover that he was still sneezing even after waking up.

“Sorry, Minot. Do you need me?”

She shook her head and smiled softly at him, looking away politely as he started to scrub at his nose a little too enthusiastically with his handkerchief.

“Lieutenant Kitsuragi asked me to wake you and tell you he will be escorting you home.”

“Oh? But my paperw-“

Harry blinked. His files were gone, and his desk had been organised.

“Did Kim do this?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes.” Judit said, starting to walk away.

“Damn,” Harry muttered, shucking on his jacket and rising on stiff knees.

“It’s been a long day, Lieutenant. Lieutenant Kitsuragi is waiting for you in the garage, he said. See you tomorrow – feel better soon!” She called over her shoulder, gradually receding in what looked like quite a rush – which made perfect sense after he’d  glanced sheepishly at the wall-affixed clock.

~~~~~

“…HHUHHHRESSSSSHHHhhh!!! Ugh, finally.”

Harry deflated after sneezing openly, enthusiastically into the air in front of him, sinking back into his couch cushions in relief. He idly rubbed his itchy, pinkened nostrils back and forth, grateful to be in his shitty apartment and away from judgemental coworkers.

“À tes souhaits.”

He heard Kim call from the kitchen. He listened intently for the sneezes that were sure to follow his own, disappointed only to catch the sigh that followed them.

“I hate when you hold them back in private.” Harry mumbled.

Kim laughed, walking into the living room with two mugs.

“You have no right to be making demands of me, not today.” He said, a cheeky smile crossing his face. He placed the mugs on a scruffy coffee table and sat next to Harry, reaching out to push a stray hair back from his forehead.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, cupping Harry’s cheek in his hand. Harry loved when Kim did that; it made him feel delicate and tiny in an entirely nice way.

“Fine. Itchy.” He said plainly, leaning into the touch. “Thank you, again, for doing all that. You’re an angel. Angel cop.” He murmured.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind a little writing.”

“Nerd.”

Kim grinned at him.

“Drink your tea.” He commanded, pulling away from Harry to reach for his own.

Harry was half-started reaching forward when another sneeze started to build. He paused and allowed himself to lean into it, irritated, semi-vocal snatches of air drawn out of him as he urged the tickle to culminate. He was sick of them taking so long. He just wanted the relief that only a huge, dramatic explosion would provide – if only for another 5 minutes or so.

He'd been so focused on sniffling and hitching his way through his build-up that he was startled by a sudden pressure under his nostrils. He opened his eyes as wide as he could – which wasn’t very, as he hovered right on the precipice of a sneeze – and took in the sight of Kim pressing an outstretched finger under his nose.

“K’hiim, what…?” He managed, breath wavering as the tickle lingered but did not swell, effectively wrangled into submission by the pressure on his philtrum.

“Don’t sneeze, detective. You need to learn some self-control.”

Harry blinked at him, unsure of whether to be affronted or aroused. Arousal always won with Kim, though, god damn him. Harry felt his cock twitch with renewed interest, shivering under Kim’s domineering gaze.

“But it ti’h!! Ti’hiiih’ckles-!”

“You can do it.” Kim stated, applying more pressure to Harry’s philtrum, barely even flinching as a droplet of clear mess rolled out of one nostril and onto his finger.

Harry was surprised when he managed, after several more dangerously close build-ups, to hold back the sneeze entirely. He exhaled in a near orgasmic sigh, glancing over at Kim under heavily lidded eyes. Kim removed his finger, wiping it on Harry’s shirt.

“Good man. Keep that up.” He said, reaching for his tea again.

Harry tried to – he really, honestly did. The absence of Kim’s finger and a poorly timed sniffle, however, meant he was bristling again almost immediately, the tickle so overwhelming he gasped hard enough that both he and Kim jumped at the sound. Immediately Kim was back in position, pressing his finger down hard and peering at Harry’s twisting pre-sneeze expression. This time he straddled his lap, and Harry reached out instinctively to grip his waist.

“What did I just say, Officer? Are you so eager to disobey me?”

Harry wanted to shake his head in dissent, wanted to hold back so badly, but it just tickled so much that even the pressure under his nose was useless. He couldn’t so much as utter a perfunctory warning before his helplessly crumpled features cinched tight, nostrils flared wide, and he sneezed all over himself and Kim.

“HAHH’EEEISHHHHHHhhh!! HIGGSHHUUUUuu!!!”

They felt incredible, great big spraying affairs, even more relieving having been fought back and denied. A pleasant wave of satisfaction washed over Harry in the aftermath, and his head fell back against the cushions, eyes closed in blissful surrender.

His eyes shot open as he felt Kim securely gripping his chin, squeezing fingers drenched with the result of those sneezes. He shuddered in anticipation, having a split second to take in Kim’s desperately cinching expression, cock lurching as he prepared for the inevitable. His eyes closed reflexively when Kim sneezed, unrestrained, spraying his face and neck thrice with delicate clouds of aerosol.

“Hupt’TISHHH’Uuu!! AhDD’TZzshieww!! Hh-! IhKG’TSCHHTtt!! Ohh.”

Harry blinked his eyes open, watching in giddy adoration as Kim used his free hand to rub at his nose, twitching nostrils squished side to side, audibly damp. He released Harry, slumping backwards and sitting on top of Harry’s lap, applying an unbelievably tantalising pressure that had Harry gasping softly and rutting against him.

“Well,” said Kim, shrugging as Harry looked expectantly at him. “It was worth a try.”

Harry lunged at him, drinking in Kim’s satisfied sigh as he pressed him back onto the couch. He figured now was as good a time as any to thank him for the paperwork.

[h50europe]

I wish fans would stop dissecting Buck/Tommy scenes but enjoy them for what they are: flirty banter between two lovers. Oliver stated in an interview he and Tim agreed to keep this relationship on the lighter side, more like a rom-com.

But no people go and dissect it like an alien discovered by NASA in a backyard.

When Tommy throws the line, "God, I hope so," he is nothing but hinting at the age difference, which is, give or take, about 7 years. So what? Seven years is nothing. Still, Tommy refers to it but means it as a joke. And Buck even blushes a little.

I can't remember we've ever seen Buck that flirty and all smiles whenever he and one of his many GFs where together. Can't the pearl clutchers be happy for him because he is finally who he is? Without having to hide a part of his sexuality that he kept buried deep inside before he met Tommy. A side he couldn't even show to Eddie. A side he knew was there but never dared to explore? Tommy came into Buck's life and opened this cage. He understands Buck on a totally different level than Eddie ever could. We see that Eddie has no gaydar. He was also clueless about Tommy being gay. Being so close to Buck, like the tin hats want them to be, he must have realized that Buck isn't only into women but guys as well. "Buddie" lived practically out of each other's pockets. And not once did Eddie ask, "Could it be that you aren't just into girls?" In a serious manner, not as a joke.

How about dissecting Eddie's dating "issues" with the doppelganger of his deceased wife? Does this imply Eddie's into necrophilia? This is ridiculous. It would be only one of their reactions. The nicer one, I guess. But it is no different from their daddy-kink nonsense.

What's wrong with these tin hats who are constantly complaining about LIs in general. No matter if it's Buck or Eddie? Shoving your favorite ship down everybody else's throat is the opposite of being open-minded and tolerant.

If Buddie should ever become canon, they will need a lot of patience. Eddie suffers from PTSD and is mentally unstable. Now, he lost his son. He has so much on his plate already. The last thing he needs right now is Buck coming over him like a force of nature and telling him he loves him. That would be the final straw if you want to see him end up in a loony bin. Eddie has to be on his own for some time to find out what and who he really wants. Something that would have to be stretched at least over a few episodes, if not over a full season. If it should be realistic. It took them 100 episodes to address Buck's bi-sexuality. And we saw hints here and there. We never saw hints of it concerning Eddie. Why do these "fans" think you can turn him bi from one moment to the other? Like Oliver said, it's not what he wanted for his character that Buck is bi, and suddenly, everyone else around him has some sort of sexual awakening. Since when can't a bisexual or gay man can't have a heterosexual bestie?

Also, bashing and harassing an actor for a part he is playing shows how sick these tin hats are. Or do they really think they could scare him off the show with their immature behavior and their unfounded hatred? Such behavior never ended a series character, let alone made a showrunner diverge from his plans and suddenly turn his show into a fan service-only show. Get a life ASAP, you tin hats and spread your toxic behavior among your ilk. It's not our fault you're leading a sad life full of envy and h*te. I am so sorry for you all. Fueled with so much anger must turn you into embittered personalities with no fun and no friends. How many of you opened sock puppet accounts to have at least someone to talk to? Living in an echo chamber can be exhausting at times...

[lokisprettygirl]

Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)

Read Chapter 6 here// Series Masterlist

Chapter 7

Summary: Amidst the chaos of learning the truth about Tanya, you meet someone from the past and things develop between you and Daemon.

Warning: 18+, smutty scenarios, crude language, description of Statutory rape, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking.

As you heard the news about Tanya, your heart started to race and your chest began to feel tight. You knew that you needed a moment to yourself, so you hastily excused yourself from the cafeteria and ran hurriedly to make your way to the fourth floor to get to your room.

On the way you saw Daemon as he was being escorted for his session and the washed out look on your face concerned him to say the least.

As soon as you went inside your room, you locked the door and sat down on the bed to think about Tanya. Poor girl, she was suffering so much with her sickness while she was here. But she seemed so happy while she was discharged, she hugged you so warmly as if she couldn't wait to get out of this place, then what happened to her?

And Why was her body found near King's landing?

You were lost in all the questions when you remembered the note you had found under her mattress so you quickly got up and reached into your closet.

Reading the note now filled you with immense guilt and uneasiness, at first you had assumed that she was just paranoid of her environment, a mental health facility wasn't exactly a happy place to be in, you figured that it was one of her personalities just writing anything but now your heart felt sinking into your guts as you realized that the note could have been a distress call for help.

Perhaps she knew something, or someone who was trying to harm her. You felt nauseous about the implications of the note, perhaps you could have helped her if you had passed on the note to the police. You should have looked for her, why didn't you?

Tears rolled down your eyes as you remembered her sweet face, she was so young and kind and she didn't deserve whatever had happened to her.

That afternoon members of the staff were informed that the police would be interviewing each member separately, you had never been questioned by the police before so obviously it made you nervous.

You couldn't even breathe properly, at one moment it seemed as if you'd die of a heart attack like your mother did.

As you were finally called in, you went inside Dr Darren’s office, the investigation was being held there.

“Good afternoon” you mumbled as you sat down. There were two men sitting opposite you, a middle aged brown haired man and the other one with dark hair seemed younger, and he also seemed familiar for some reason.

"I'm Detective Hightower," the older man said, introducing himself and his partner, "Detective Criston." You nodded nervously and tried to take in a deep breath, but your chest felt constricted still..

"You seem nervous," Det. Criston Spoke as he offered you a glass of water. "Have a drink”

“I'm fine..i am just nervous” you spoke nervously,

“Don't be.. it's routine..we just have a few questions regarding Tanya Anderson” Your eyes teared up as Det. Hightower said her name.

“Sure” you were looking anywhere but at the officers and you wondered if they would see you as a suspect because you were acting really suspicious.

“You're tearing up, I can imagine it must be hard as you were assigned as her custodian, is that correct?” Det. Criston asked, his voice firm but professional.

“Yeahh”

You had tried so hard to control your tears but you failed eventually so you placed your hand over your eyes as you cried as silently as you could. Det. Criston got up from his chair and offered you the glass of water so you took it from him this time.

“Thank you and I'm sorry”

You mumbled meekly so Det. Hightower gave you a comforting smile.

“It's alright, take your time”

A minute later you finally took a deep breath and looked up at them.

“Okay I'm ready..thank you for being so kind” you said politely as you recovered from the outburst you had just now.

“No issues..so y/n..how long have you been here for?”

“Two years”

“Was Miss Tanya the first person you looked after, not just as a custodian but as a friendly companion as well?” Hightower asked so you shook your head in response.

“There are several patients I care for while I'm on duty, she was one of them but we definitely got along, she just seemed so out of place here when she wasn't suffering from her ailments” they looked at each other as you said that.

“What do you mean?” Hightower inquired,

“She seemed normal most of the time and then sometimes she would freak out out of nowhere, she was suffering from multiple personality disorder or something. Dr. Vis was treating her here at the facility” you told them so Hightower nodded his head as he wrote down your statement. Why did you have to mention Vis? They must know that already.

“Alright …did she ever tell you anything personal, about anyone trying to hurt her or just anything really?” Criston inquired so you shook your head.

“No, not really, she often talked about her childhood but never went into much detail.”

“Okay good, thanks for your time y/n, we will connect again if required” Criston said to you so you nodded and as you were about to get up you realized that now was the one and only chance you'd get to tell them about the note you had found, even though it might get you in trouble with the management.

“Can I ask you something?” you asked nervously so Det. Hightower gave you a slight nod.

“What happened to her? When did she die?” You asked them solemnly so they shared a look with each other.

“It's a classified information that we can't share just yet”

“Okay ummm the day after she was discharged from here, I was cleaning her room for the new patient and found this under her mattress, perhaps it can be of help”

Criston grabbed the piece of paper and as soon as he had read it, you saw the worried look on his face instantly.

“Who else knows about this?” Hightower asked you.

“Nobody” as you answered you noticed that he seemed instantly relieved.

“Thanks for bringing this up to us”

You nodded as they dismissed but as you stepped out of the office you heard Detective Criston calling your name so you turned around.

“Hey y/n..I think you didn't recognise me in there” You looked at him confused as he said that, he did seem familiar. “It's Cole, we went to middle school together.. perhaps the term rock boy would jog your memory?”

“Oh you're the boy that collected rocks ..oh i know youuuu” you smiled as you finally recalled the memory, it brought an unexpected smile to your face. “So detective huh? That's amazing... wow that's so cool” you said to him as you crossed your arms.

“Thank you..well i am still obsessed with collecting rocks though” You let out a small laugh as he said that.

“Why have I never seen you here before?” You asked him so he sighed deeply

“Because I just got transferred like a month ago, I was in Bradford before I got here” you nodded as he said that.

“Ahhh well okay..i better get back to my work now, but it was really nice catching up with you” you mumbled politely so he gave you a smile.

“Sure”

“Ummm if you find out something about her. Will you let me know?” You asked him so he nodded in response.

“Is there a number I can call here to connect with you?” He asked you so you nodded so he took out a pen from the coat's pocket and offered you his palm as a parchment.

“Uhhh okay” you chuckled nervously as you grabbed onto his fingers to write the digits on his palm before you mumbled a goodbye..

As you turned around you saw Daemon standing a few feet away from you with two guards holding onto him. He was staring deeply into your soul and it made you nervous.

“Not this guy again” you heard Criston mumbling so you turned around to look at him. Did they know each other? The events of the day were becoming increasingly strange. It was especially puzzling since Daemon wasn't even here when Tanya left so why was he being questioned.

You hadn't seen Daemon all day, so visiting his room directly seemed risky. Waiting until night, you knocked on his door once before sneaking into the terrace and walked towards the ledge, looking down. Your heart sank again as you thought about Tanya, imagining her final moments stirred emotions you didn't wish to face. You couldn't shake off the feeling of helplessness, knowing that you weren't there for her when she needed someone in her corner.

The scent of mahogany filled your nostrils before he had his arm wrapped around your waist so you turned around and hugged him tightly, finally letting the tears out. Caressing your head gently he then placed a soft kiss on your shoulder. Your fingers clenched around his shirt as you felt the warmth of his body, on a cold night he felt like a comforting bonfire.

“I found a note under the mattress, a cry for help and i ignored it..i thought she probably wrote it in her fits of paranoia, what if I had caused it…what if it could have been prevented if I had gone to the authorities or perhaps if I would have checked on her–” your lips trembled as you spoke, you had been keeping it all in since this morning and his hot comforting embrace was all you needed in the moment.

“Shhhhh it's not your fault alright? You couldn't have known darling..it's an unfortunate tragedy but you can't put the blame on yourself okay” you shook your head as he said that so he cupped your cheeks and wiped your tears “Hey look at me..not your fault, none of this is your fault” he mumbled softly so you placed your head back on his chest and nodded as you let out your tears until you couldn't cry any more.

Once your breathing leveled back to normal you pulled away from him.

“Why did they call you in for questioning? You weren't even here back then” you asked him, worry evident in your voice.

“I don't really know..why did that copper have your telephone number on his palm?” He asked you, a hint of jealousy visible and it made you smile a little.

“We went to school together..he remembered me” he squinted his eyes for a moment before he rolled them around in typical Daemon fashion.

“He's an arse” he grumbled.

“Why would you say that? Do you know him from before?”

“It doesn't matter..how are you feeling?” he asked as he shifted the conversation again.

“Okay..I'm okay” you mumbled softly.

“You should get out of this forsaken place once in a while” he said to you.

“And go where..do what?”

“Anything..you're young and beautiful, live your fucking life” you let out a chuckle as he said that.

“And do exactly what out there? Get drunk in bars and have sex with random men?” he grabbed the back of your neck as you said that, the smirk on your face only boiled his anger. He hated imagining that scenario in his head, a sight of you in some other man's bed, writhing and moaning underneath him.

“I'd kiss you right now if I wasn't your first kiss” he whispered against your mouth so you stifled the moan that was threatening to spill from deep within you.

“I have been kissed before”

“I don't think so”

The audacity. Not that he was wrong.

“It wasn't consensual but i have been kissed” his brows furrowed as you said that.

“Elaborate”

“You don't want to know trust me”

“I do want to know”

“Well long story short I was at party with few of my friends, I got drunk out of my mind and then started to cry because I was just sad.. really sad, about my life and I kept crying and this guy that I was dancing with kissed me out of nowhere.. and i hated it, I didn't like it at all” you mumbled hurriedly so he grabbed your cheeks between his palms. If he had enough information he'd have found the guy and perhaps beat him to pulp for touching you like that in your vulnerable advantageous state.

“I'm starting to see why you're so appalled by intimacy”

“I'm not against it..i just don't want to do it with every other fella” he smirked as you responded. He knew you would want to do it with him sooner or later, his ego was soaring these days due to that particular reason.

“Kissing a person you adore is a high darling, nothing short of a drug” he whispered in your ear so you pulled away from him to control yourself.

“You must have kissed many people then” you taunted him so he chuckled.

“Didn't really adore half of them”

“Well i didn't enjoy being kissed so–”

“Were you attracted to that bloke who forced himself upon you?” he asked strictly.

“No”

“That's why..you have to have the hots for the man who's into your mouth darling” you bit on your lips as he said that. You had definite hots for him and you wanted his mouth in yours.

“We should go”

Before we do something stupid you thought.

He stared at your lips for a moment so you placed your hands on his chest and nudged him slightly to get out of his warmth but you weren't really expecting what he was about to say next. Unpredictable as always.

“Sleep with me tonight” his tone was deathly serious and you couldn't deny how your intimate areas were tingling at the prospect of it.

“Are you joking?” you chuckled to hide your arousal.

“No ..I'm not joking, I'm not asking you to have sex with me, just sleep with me, in the same bed”

“That's not a good idea at all”

It was a great idea but a risk you couldn't take these days, besides you had never slept with a man you were attracted to before.

“I'll come to your window..nobody will know”

“No ..stop..lets go” you giggled as you dragged him along with you to take him back to his room.

Once you laid down in your bed, your mind shifted from thoughts of Tanya to those of Daemon, you wondered how it would feel to have him so close to you, his mouth rubbing against yours slowly and sensually.

The following day, you were assigned to clean room 390, formerly occupied by Mrs. Rodriguez, who had been discharged. This left you surprised, considering her frail mental state. While tidying up, the sound of the door opening caught your attention, and Doctor Vis stepped in, his presence intimidating and commanding like always.

“Good morning doctor” you mumbled politely so he gave you a smile and walked closer to you, you didn't even understand what he was doing or why he was looking at you like that but a part of you knew it couldn't have been about anything else but Daemon. Your life seemed to revolve around him only these days.

“Did you hear about the upcoming gala on Sunday?” He asked you so you nodded in response. The fundraising gala was traditionally held annually at King's Landing institution, offering a unique opportunity for patients, doctors, and staff to come together for one night, setting apart from the usual daily routine.

“I want you to take my…uhhh i want you to make sure that Daemon is on his best behavior at the gala” He said to you, making you all perplexed about his motive.

“How would I do that?” you asked him firmly so he smiled again.

“Just keep him engaged in conversations, think of it as a part of your duty and you'll earn a hefty bonus immediately”

Well the bonus would be nice but the entire situation bewildered you. Why did he only assign these extra tasks to you? Especially after that day when he had seen Daemon attacking you?

On the night of the gala, you chose to pamper yourself with a refreshing shower and meticulous grooming. After doing your makeup, you slipped into a black, full-length dress gifted to you by your mother, a piece you had never worn before, you never found the occasion for it.

You didn't dress up this lavishly for the previous galas as you really didn't care unlike this year. The dress featured thin straps that hugged your figure, a smidgen of cleavage on display, leaving you feeling both elegant but also slightly exposed. However you wanted to look sexy tonight, it was strange having such feelings, wanting to dress up for someone, getting all dolled up so he'd look at you differently and would perhaps make your knees tremble with his inappropriate touching and filthy words.

You enjoyed that feeling.

As you reached the main hall you felt everyone's eyes on you, especially your colleagues, they were not used to seeing you so made up.

There were plenty of influential people invited at the gala, it was a grand affair, alot to look forward to but your eyes wandered around to just see him, besides you had a job to do.

You didn't know what you were expecting but you definitely didn't expect to see Daemon in an all black suit that gave him the aura of a royal prince. Two guards had been appointed by the Viserys to bring him to the venue but as he entered Viserys gestured them to uncuff him from the shackles and then he gestured to you to keep an eye on him. The look hadn't gone unnoticed by Daemon as he walked towards you.

“Who knew you were hiding all this behind that granny dress you wear everyday” he mumbled as he neared you so you rolled your eyes.

“Who knew you were capable of wearing a two-piece suit?” you retorted making him chuckle in response

“You look gorgeous love” he muttered, a smirk playing on his lips,

“You look handsome” you responded honestly.

“Thank you”

“I'll get a drink” you turned around to get to the bar as you felt flushed under his intense gaze. As soon as you had your back to him he stared at your hips shamelessly while you walked away from him and cursed profanities under his breath, the dress hugged you in all the right places and his instincts were screaming at him to pounce on you right now.

To claim you in every possible way, show you what you were missing in your bed every night.

He was half a wild unruly creature and sometimes you made it really hard for him to keep that animal intact inside him, your alluring presence ignited the fire already burning within him, compelling him to satisfy that beast who just wanted to mate with his mate.

You made it really hard for him, literally and figuratively.

His eyes met with Shyla at the other end of the hallway but she quickly looked away as he approached you.

“It's my birthday” he mumbled as he stood next to you at the bar so you looked at him surprised.

“Really?”

“You can check my records”

“Why didn't you tell me all day?” You asked him so he rolled his eyes.

“I don't celebrate it”

“Why not?” you probed further to make him open up so he sighed.

“You need friends and family to do so.. didn't have any of that growing up” there was a hint of sadness in his tone and you felt your heart clenching at the sight of him.

“Well..how old are you now?”’

“35.. I feel ancient”

“I hear you” you hesitated for a moment before you spoke further,

“I have a job to do ..Dr. Vis have asked me to keep you in line and in return i would receive an early bonus” he chuckled as you said that, clearly amused.

“He's an imbecile” he scoffed

“True but he's being cautious, you areeee unpredictable” you admitted to which he responded with a smirk.

“Uhhhuh and that arse thinks a pretty little thing like you would get me under control if I wanted to go berserk right about now?” he asked arrogantly as he stepped closer to you. The scent of mahogany made your knees weak already and he hadn't even touched you yet.

“Perhaps I can do that” you replied confidentially as if to challenge him.

“You're overconfident love…I care about you but you can't tie me on a leash and have me wrapped around your fingers like a domestic pet” His words were affecting you in ways you couldn't even describe to yourself, you didn't think it was possible to feel so turned on by a man speaking to you so callously.

"Mhmmm, perhaps I would simply have to manipulate you emotionally." He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued as you challenged him again.

“And how would you do that?”

“Like this” you made a sad face and your eyes teared up suddenly as you looked at him with that pathetic puppy look on your face, his eyes softened for a moment before he realized that you were messing with him.

“Oh you little minx”

You couldn't help but grin at his response, feeling the sizzling chemistry between you, the flirting and the electric tension filling the air. The sight of him dressed so sharply added fuel to the fire, igniting a heat within your core. He then walked so close to you that there was not an inch of space left between your bodies, for a moment you worried about being seen like this but his words kept you hooked to him.

“Ask me to be nice and I won't disappoint you” he whispered in your ear.

“Will you be nice please?” You asked him softly so he caressed the bridge of your nose before he stepped away from you.

“You got it Princess”

And he upheld his promise, throughout the gala he was well behaved and polite with everyone, not that many people were interacting with him. He was misunderstood and he had done nothing to diffuse those rumors about him attacking Shyla. Sometimes you envied the power he had where he didn't give any fucks about his reputation.

Later that night you grabbed a piece of cake and made your way to his room, he had left the Gala before you and you didn't want to look suspicious so you waited for a bit before you stole the cake and sneaked out quietly.

Like always he had his door open so you entered immediately.

As expected, you found him standing by the window, his arms resting against the frame, the soft light of the moon bathing his silhouette.

“Happy birthday” you mumbled softly as he turned around and his gaze met with yours. The gentle flicker of the candle you had carefully placed on the cake casted a warm orange hue and he didn't know what it was about the gesture but it made him want to cry. All his adult life he had fought against emotions like these but with you he was failing miserably.

He walked towards you as he stared at you so you gestured towards the cake,

“Blow and make a wish” you told him so he chuckled and shook his head but his resolved melted as you made a pout, you didn't bring any fork so you cut the corner of the slice with your fingers and offered the sweet delicious treat to him, you weren't really expecting him to suck your fingers clean off the delicious cream. He grabbed the plate from your hands and stepped away from you to place it on the dresser before he approached you again.

“I want to touch you” he murmured under his breath and your heart ceased to beat for a moment.

“Where?” you asked hesitantly but evidently turned on by the husky whisper of his voice.

“Everywhere” he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to his chest so you looked up at him.

“You can't start touching me everywhere at once, it's …scary” you mumbled softly.

His fingers trailed up from your wrist and you shuddered as they caressed the curve of your shoulders, he messed around with the straps of your dress before he lowered them down, exposing your clavicle and a bit of cleavage, it wasn't really much but you felt as if you were all naked , you felt as if he could see right through you and the thought made you feel so aroused.

As his thumbs traced over your collarbone, your eyes rolled back in your head involuntary.

“Is this alright? Not too much, hmm?” he asked, his voice gentle but slightly mocking in your ears.

“No..not much..” the trembling of your voice betrayed the conviction in your words.

“Yet you're shaking like a leaf” he murmured as his thumb traced over the curve of your breasts, ragged breaths escaped your chest at the touch. You could feel yourself dripping in your thong. “Depriving yourself of such pleasures all your life? It's a shame darling, a woman as sensual as you was made to be ridden every night”

You silenced him with a gentle press of your palm against his lips as he spoke filthily.

“I don't want to be touched by anyone or everyone” you mumbled meakly as his hands wrapped around your neck like a necklace, his hold both possessive and gentle at the same time.

“And I would be honored if you'd allow me to savor a part of you that you've never shared before, my sweet girl. I promise to keep it safe, secure, and thoroughly pleased.” your eyes moistened at the sincerity in his voice.

“Mmmmhm? Kiss me then”

You looked him in the eye and cupped his cheeks as before you got angled up and pecked his lips briefly.

He leaned down and took a whiff of your scent before he sucked a mark on your neck, his lips then trailed up to your jaw and as he kissed the corner of your mouth, you felt your knees trembling with anticipation.

“Daemon” you whispered against his mouth as he cupped your cheeks.

“Mmm?” He asked, concern filled his voice as he didn't want to make you uncomfortable in the slightest.

“I …adore you..very much”

“As do i”’

With those words he then planted his lips on yours, your breath hitched in your chest as you gasped in his mouth, the wave of feelings that you experienced felt unfamiliar. This feeling that you had, you couldn't have anticipated it. It definitely wasn't the same as kissing your own hand as a child to practice kissing, and it definitely didn't feel as awful as it had with that man you didn't even remember the name of. He let go of your upper lips and looked at you for a moment,

“I'm not kissing you back am i?” You asked him between your bated breaths but he didn't answer, he smiled instead and leaned down to capture your lower lip into his mouth , his hands cupping your other cheeks as he pulled you closer to him.

The feeling of his warm big hands rubbing over the curve of your rear flipped a switch inside you right then and you reciprocated his movements, arms curled around his neck as you followed the rhythm of his mouth.

For the first time in your life you felt as if you were in a hazy dream, this feeling felt too good to be true, and for the first time your boring mundane life felt as exciting and as thrilling as those wild dreams you have had all your life. And it terrified you if you were being honest with yourself.

As his tongue slipped into your mouth you were a goner, the taste of him was something you could see yourself getting addicted to, it offered you a euphoric high like that of a drug as he had said, it felt intoxicating, but it was a high no other drug could ever compare to.

As the kiss deepened, he didn't pull away until he was gasping for breath, stealing the air from your lungs with each frantic inhale. Doubts filled your head, and you wondered whether the kiss was as magical for him as it was for you. Did he feel the fire burning within his soul, or was this moment merely a fleeting distraction for him?

“It is” he mumbled softly as peppered kisses all over your face so you looked at him confused “it is as magical for me as it was for you darling”

You still didn't understand how he was so intuitive, perhaps he had a strong sixth sense or something, considering that he was half dragon, you were still on the fence of believing it completely.

“Turn around for me” he asked you, his tone commanding so you hesitated for a moment before you complied. Then, the cool touch of metal wrapping around your neck caught you off guard, drawing a gasp from your lips.

Honestly you just wanted to kiss him again and then again.

“Daemon–”

“It's a gift…belonged to my mother” You turned around to look at him as he said that.

“I don't think I deserve it yet” you whispered softly so he placed his fingers on your lips to shut you up.

“Just keep it .. please”

“Okay”

He placed his forehead down on yours as he sighed so you tucked his hair behind his ears before you cupped his cheeks.

“What is bothering you?”

He wasn't the only one with strong senses it seems.

“Nothing” he mumbled as he grabbed the locket of the pendant between his fingers and contemplated his words before speaking “Don't put it on in front of Viserys”

“Viserys?” You looked at him confused so he nodded.

“Dr. Vis”

He had a full name? Why didn't you know that after all these years?

“Okay..why though?” Your puzzled expression prompted him to sigh again.

“He'd recognise it..it belonged to my mother” his answer only confused you further.

“Why would he know about this Daemon?” you asked him as the curiosity piqued, you knew Dr Vis had been treating him for a while but why would he know about the necklace you thought, it was personal. And that's when he revealed the truth about his relationship with the man you knew as Dr. Vis.

“Cause he's my brother.. he's my older brother”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Taglist

@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting

@daenny-t

[saintsenara]

For sure and fair play, HP was a long project! But yeah, JKR fiercely defending her inconsistencies almost forces us to fiercely point them. Out of spite. I do get that many issues were out of Harry’s radar and understanding, but JKR trying to convince the audience through interviews that the wizarding world doesn’t have the same prejudices as the muggle world just makes me conclude that she must be herself incredibly unaware of the privileges herself and people in her circle possess. Plus the whole HIV parallel that just sounds so misguided and sours the text to me. Yet here I am! Love your blog xx

the lycanthropy-as-aids metaphor is extraordinary in how tone-deaf it is and it pisses me off...

especially because it doesn't make sense at any point in the story. the complete transformation of how house elves think of their enslavement between chamber of secrets [in which dobby mentions whisper-networks of politically-engaged elves decrying their treatment at the hands of wizards] and goblet of fire is really fucking irritating, but it has some slight defence in the narrative shift that the series undergoes after prisoner of azkaban from children's boarding-school literature to something approaching folkloric epic.

[that is, chamber of secrets needs to wrap up with dobby being freed, the malfoys getting their - comparatively benign - comeuppance, and everything being well, because children's stories always end with that everything back to normal vibe, and so the fact that harry has just learned that the wizarding world has institutionalised chattel slavery and been remarkably unbothered by that fact can be shelved by the genre conventions. after prisoner of azkaban, the books end more ambiguously and are more interlinked, as they start moving towards their big conclusion in deathly hallows, and are also darker in tone. and yet she decided to use this shift in tone... to make elves love being enslaved...]

which is to say, perhaps the lycanthropy-as-aids metaphor could be justified as a standalone plot device within prisoner of azkaban - since the reader does hear lupin explain not only the shame and stigma wizarding society's poor understanding of his condition causes, but also how the state's callous discrimination against werewolves impacts his ability to access healthcare, education, and employment - which then doesn't work after the series' narrative shift, when jkr wanted to introduce characters like fenrir greyback...

except it doesn't work even then! because at the end of prisoner of azkaban lupin turns into a rampaging monster who has a desperate, primal urge to eat children - and reveals his condition to be legitimately dangerous to an extent which entirely justifies why parents would feel uneasy about him being employed in a school.

[and - especially - being employed without dumbledore appearing to put any safeguards in place to keep both lupin and his students safe.]

one part of the tragedy of the aids crisis is baseless social stigma at an individual level, absolutely, and lupin - who is a nice [ish] man who doesn't meet the stereotypes wizards appear to have of untransformed werewolves - suffers from this.

but another is the way this stigma drove a state-sanctioned looking-the-other-way and refusing to act while the bodies piled up - something there is no parallel for in the series' worldbuilding around werewolves, not least because it tends to have a positive view of states and their institutions [state corruption is always located in individuals - fudge, umbridge - rather than in the structures which enable them, which are seen as fundamentally sound, for example] which i would imagine most people who know even a cursory amount about the official response to the aids crisis are unlikely to share...

and another is that - since hiv has a very, very long asymptomatic period - it was spreading without anyone knowing it existed for years, if not decades, before it burst into the public consciousness with death on wholesale scale. and then it continued to spread in terror and confusion - for years, you couldn't know if you had it until you started getting sick, and then, when you could access tests [if you could access tests], you were told it was a death sentence, and you would be unable to pinpoint when and by whom you'd been infected, and you would be unable to know how many people you might have infected in turn.

nothing about the series' presentation of lycanthropy corresponds to this.

but, with this said, i think there are two parallels between the conditions which could be interesting in the hands of someone who approached them with care.

the first is to see lupin's role as the series' one "good werewolf" as a mirror to the fact that public opinion became considerably more sympathetic to those living with and dying of hiv/aids when it began to emerge that people [white! "respectable"! heterosexual!] had been infected via blood transfusions and treatments for haemophilia. queer men and intravenous drug users could be dismissed as having brought their infections upon themselves... but not someone [white! "respectable"! heterosexual!] who went into hospital for a routine operation and came out slowly dying.

lupin - the son of a prominent civil servant [with all the class status that entails], bitten as a child through no fault of his own, hogwarts educated, connected to establishment figures like dumbledore - makes a great poster child for a milquetoast "werewolves aren't all bad" campaign which manages not to offend the state's sensibilities by asking it to stop demonising pretty much every other werewolf in history...

the second is to think about the generational divide.

in countries where access to appropriate medication is widespread [and that there are many countries where this isn't the case shouldn't be forgotten], hiv is easily treatable, easily manageable, easily rendered untransmissable, and easily preventable. the quality of life - and the life expectancy - of hiv positive people is now broadly equal to that of their hiv negative peers. the number of aids-related deaths worldwide annually has more than halved since 2010 and, in 2024, it is possible to say that virtually nobody who is newly diagnosed with hiv will go on to develop aids.

this is - sincerely - one of the single greatest achievements in the history of medicine. and it's completely changed how we think and talk about hiv, what it means to be diagnosed with it, what it means to live with it, and what it means to know [and to love, and to fuck] someone who has it.

if we imagine that there are similar advances in the treatment of lycanthropy - with the wolfsbane potion, which seems pretty bare-bones, replaced with something which made the impact of the werewolf's transformation even less severe [or which prevented it altogether] - then being a werewolf in the 2020s would mean something very different than it did in the 1980s.

and if - say - lupin is right, and teddy inherits his condition, thinking about how enormously different his experience being a werewolf might be from his father's [even at a very basic level - not having to turn down invitations based on the moon cycle, for example], and how he would come to understand himself and understand lupin through this different experience, would be a genuinely fascinating premise for a fic.

but not if jkr was writing it.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi! I don't know if this has been asked before (it feels like it will have been) and my apologies if it has but:

If Louis recovering his memories from Armand's mind control thing... Why is Armand allowing this second interview to go ahead? Especially when Daniel is obviously able to get to Louis?

Hey! :)

well... for one I think it needs to be differentiated what "control" is... Like, canonically Armand spellbinds Louis on several occasions in Paris. For example. That... is for more selfish reasons, I would say, we will see how they will spin it in the show.

Later on though, when he seems to have "tinkered" (as Assad called it) in the show... that was likely done in an effort to "help", imho - because he does love Louis. And Louis suffers. The things Louis will remember now... will not be pretty. On the contrary, it will be beyond painful what will be uncovered.

And then, of course, there is the aspect of "the Devil's Minion" having happened in the past (as I am quite sure we will get to see at least parts of in the upcoming seasons)... Armand loves Daniel, Daniel who book canonically becomes his only fledgling.

So, with that in mind...

We know Daniel was kept track off, the package with the tapes arrives in his post box without an address on it (for example), his medical status is known, and there is medicine for him there, which was prepared, and which is not what they claim it to be (the side effects don't match, as noted by others).

I think Louis might have... come to the conclusion at some point that a few things do not match, and I think... that he leveraged the idea of redoing the interview, in an effort to get Daniel to Dubai, and in an effort to slay multiple dragons at once:

Redo the interview. Find out what his subconscious is telling him, what Armand might be hiding (possibly hidden with Louis knowing !- that is also a possibility, that he asked for the memories to be taken away, but has doubts now?! We'll see^^)

Reunite Armand and Daniel, because he does not want Armand to be alone after... because Louis is tired. And if Claudia's diaries are used as I think they will be (as the catalyst they were in the books), then this season will end rather... cataclysmic.

Find a way to at least prolong Daniel's life. As noted above the medicine Daniel gets had to be prepared, and Fareed's presence is no coincidence, it hints at... certain things. (Fareed is the physician/scientist of the vampires in the later books).

Armand... Armand "allows" this because he needs to prolong Daniel's life, wants to see him again, and... loves Louis. And there is also the aspect that what he is keeping from Louis and Daniel - if deliberately or by promise - must weigh quite heavily on him.

I think there is at least a tiny part of him which looks forward to it all being revealed, because being the only one to know the truth... must be a heavy burden.

... ultimately I think it's not clear cut. "Decisions are made of kneaded feelings" (to quote Hannibal here) and all that.

There are a lot of aspects playing into it all. And a lot of them have to do with potential (and very real) emotional hurt.

Which is also (I think) why he decided on a role play at first - to protect his heart, more than anything else.

[ragde890]

Hunter x Hunter 407 commentary and pseudoanalysis

It's ambiguous whether Morena has chosen Borksen because she is the specialist Dogman was looking for or because of her connection to Tserriednich (and she has a plan to kill him that needs her in particular or anyone within that group of friends).

The latter is much more likely, though. Remember that in chapter 394, Morena talks about ‘recruiting’ one of Tserri's personal guards. We don't know if she has already succeeded, but recruiting one of her childhood friends as well makes sense given that context.

In any case, Morena's request is, of course, that Borksen joins her and becomes part of Contagion (unless Borksen's last card is a ‘no’, in which case the request will simply be the opposite, so as to end with the same result), but it will certainly be deeper than that.

Borksen is like a ‘matching organ donor’, so either her nen type or her particular conditions will serve a hyper-specific niche that Morena needs for her plan (which we don't know in detail yet).

It is impossible to deny the subtext in the concept of the card game, which also aligns with that of Morena's abilities and backstory. Morena is Nasubi's bastard daughter, and it's clear that that is what has caused all the pain she has suffered since her conception, and has also shaped her role in life (she would not be leader of Heil-Ly otherwise, as the leaders of the three Kakin mafias are, by tradition, the king's bastard children). In the card game, there's a ‘parent’ role and a ‘child’ role, and they must face each other in a very specific way. Lines of dialogue such as these, which on a completely literal level allude exclusively to the game, are no coincidence either:

Her own Hatsu, Contagion, also has a certain parental aspect to it. After all, its use is to give skills to her followers and guide them through the process of growth.

The same can be said about the line "I am my own subject".

It's a grammatical clarification, the purpose of which -at face value- is to provide a consistent way of dealing with double negations during the game. However, it is also a statement of her intentions as a person. And this, again, is reflected in her Hatsu: Morena is a part of Contagion and levels up like everyone else, so she's literally her own subject.

Regarding the whole grammatical discussion, this resource I found on Reddit helps to understand why it was so important to establish a standardised type of response to negative questions (TLDR; how to answer them is more ambiguous in japanese than in other languages):

Another interaction that I find interesting is the one where Borksen thinks ‘What in the world is she so angry about?’, while Morena's expression is a smile, implying that Borksen is able to see through Morena's artificial facade and her feelings are transparent to her.

This is easily justified when rereading chapter 394, where Borksen has exactly the same habit of trying to camouflage her feelings with a fake smile (although she doesn't do it much, and she is, in fact, very expressive otherwise).

All of that aside, the idea of using a card game to ration exposition about Morena and her intentions while creating a tense situation, adding variety with something different to the fights we've been seeing and exploring the themes of the arc is simply superb. The very development of the showdown itself is guaranteed to have a level of mind games similar to what we've seen in battles like Chrollo VS Hisoka. Togashi will also be highly motivated to write it, as he himself has expressed before how much he enjoys creating card and board games:

He also made the ‘Hunter Exam Marathon Hell’ mini board game when Greed Island was published. And in the 2016 interview with Kishimoto, he said that one of his ideas after finishing Hunter x Hunter was to make a card fighting series (he also mentioned his admiration for Fukumoto, author of Kaiji).

As for what to expect future chapters, the room they are in is the same room Nobunaga and Hinrigh saw in chapter 399. This is evident if we compare this panel from chapter 407 (left) with the one from 399 (right):

Based on this, we can assume that Phinks and Feitan will eventually break into the room, although not necessarily during the game. This is possibly what Morena is alluding to when she reiterates that the longer the situation goes on, ‘the more dangerous it will be for both sides’:

Morena knows this because, as the previous chapter already established, Wang (Cha-R's underboss) is a traitor, and he must have been giving her information about the Spider's actions this whole time.

I hope that the next chapter will be the game itself. We've had several chapters now where each one is a change of scene rather than a direct continuation of the previous one (although they do expand situations presented in the previous chapter), but a scene change now would make me a bit sad. I'm very hyped for the card game, to be honest.

[areasontoismile]

This is me reliving my tumblr so I can get some feelings off of my chest

I’m 12 years old. A family member is sitting on a computer desk and calls me to watch this performance of five boys singing so nicely. “The blonde one is so cute!” they say. I have no idea who they are but the blonde one is in fact cute.

13. My life kinda sucks right now because everything is changing too fast and I can’t handle it. The only thing that helps me cope with life is coming home from school and watching every single video, interview, performance and learn lyrics to their songs - and I don’t even understand what they’re saying most of the time.

Now I’m 14. It’s a hot day and we’re celebrating Mother’s Day in my country. My mom drives me to the stadium and my heart is so heavy with excitement I can’t contain myself. I stand there from 10 am till midnight, no food, not using the restroom, sun on my head and I’ve never been happier. I see them, I’m so close to them I can see how in between the vocals Harry is thanking everyone for coming to see them - all that off mic. I can see Louis making funny faces for us, I see zayn picking my friend’s flag and lifting it up. I can see Niall smiling and enchanting everyone. I see Liam being the nicest human being ever - always on center, like the north of the band. Harry dedicates the concert for all the mothers for letting us go see them. I leave and hug my mom so hard, it’s the best day of my life and I’m terribly thankful to her for letting me be there.

I’m 16. I’m logging on my Facebook after school and my heart drops: zayn is leaving the band. I could see that coming but why is it so sad? I hope everyone is ok.

I’m 17. They’re taking a break. It’s ok, I guess. They need to rest. Can’t wait to hear their solo songs.

I’m 18. I’m sitting on the bus on my way to college and my face can’t hide the giant smile on my face while listening to all the solo song from the guys. They’re so good they should be in a band.

I’m 21. I become an orphan due to Covid. Life is not worth living. I can’t listen to music anymore because it feels like I’m betraying my parents by doing something good for me. I deserve to suffer. Hey, liam is doing a live on Instagram and Niall is joining him! I can’t believe they’re still close. It makes me happy. Maybe I deserve to numb the pain sometimes. Maybe my parents would like to see me happy.

I’m 25. It’s a sunny day and the day before I had to go to the cemetery wich always makes me emotional. I think today it’s gonna be better. I open Instagram. My heart stops for a second. What do you mean Liam died? What? That must be fake. No way. But what about his baby? What about his family? My heart is so broken it doesn’t make sense - he didn’t even know me. I feel like part of my childhood is gone.

[justenjoythegossip]

Will Chris’ “psychotic” fans be held responsible for the end of the shitshow?

Recently an article regarding Abba’s near ”abduction” story resurfaced, or I should say was reposted. It seemed pretty random of course. But was it? Because you see, this story hints at an original trauma that she might have suffered as a kid. If you combine this (real or fictitious) traumatic experience with the narrative that Chris’ fans are psychos who really can’t stand to see him in a relationship, well then you have created the perfect storm for their separation. Will that excuse be used to explain their divorce which couldn’t come soon enough by the way? 

So many breadcrumbs pointing to Abba being scared… 

The narrative that Chris’ fans are crazy and don’t want to see him with anyone has been going on for years. His brother Scott alluded to it not so long ago during an interview. Yvette Nicole Brown tweeted about it as well, in a very over-the-top and unhinged way just after Chris and Abba made it official with their first papwalk. So there have been many crumbs pointing to his fans’ problematic behavior being the cause for concerns. And indeed, there have already been several articles pointing to Abba being scared for her safety. Here are a couple of examples.

https://www.thenews.com.pk/amp/1119789-chris-evans-jealous-fans-pose-safety-concerns-for-his-wife-alba-baptista

Recently, that excuse has been used to explain why Abba couldn’t attend an event for Warrior Nun.

We all know of her extraordinary professionalism. She has promoted the show so much so that we can only imagine how terrified and heartbroken she must have felt to turn down this event. (read sarcasm) And it probably explains why she refused to talk to the media at the GQ event. You see she was not being rude and a diva, she was just being shy and afraid…

Also remember during Chris and Abba’s last papwalk when they allegedly had dinner with Rob Pattinson, Suki, Adrien Brody and Harvey Weinstein’s former wife, they were escorted by Guillermo who is Chris’ bodyguard. Sure it was meant to sell that they are a very famous and popular couple but maybe it served another purpose. Maybe it was meant to sell the narrative that she is terrified of Chris’ fans and needs the protection of a bodyguard. So the question remains: will they be blamed for their divorce?

The ending of this shitshow isn’t likely to happen soon…

Crumbs and hints are in place but that doesn’t mean the end of the shitshow is near. In fact, I would be very surprised if he doesn’t mention his “wife” during his next con at Seattle on March 2nd. Indeed this con is overseen by the same company that did C2E2 and NYCC last year, and let’s remember the NY con was used to confirm the 2 kinda of ceremonies and to show off his ill-fitting ring. We can suspect this company is one of their sponsors, just like the jewelry brand or airline company. But I am just speculating. 

It’s safe to assume there will be similar shenanigans in Seattle anyway. Will she actually be there? It’s a real possibility. Especially, since the Oscars’ ceremony is on March 10th. Like for the Golden Globes, it’s a time when celebrities try to be seen. And it will be one of their last occasions to make a splash for a while and have their names in every publication since Chris is supposed to start shooting a new movie in March as well. Unless we get pap pics of them on his movie set. They haven’t done it yet and it would be another box to check off in their PR games.  

The manufactured psychotic fans…

For sure there are some crazy fans out there. But I have little doubt as well that most of his crazy fans act this way on purpose because there are plants on the payroll. Even recently, we have seen a ridiculous fake drama around Dodger. An account even published an old picture of Dodger at Daycare. So this mod either hacked into the security cameras of the dog daycare center 6 years ago. Or by some off chance, a crazy stalker fan who worked at that center leaked that pic and sent it to that mod? I should probably specify that this account also got the exclusive (and very believable) story that Renner and Hemsworth told two strangers that they were in Boston for Chris’ wedding. Obviously the most logical explanation is that this blog was fed real info (and that pic) by his team or is working directly for his team. But officially they will pass as crazy fans who crossed the line… And this narrative has proved quite useful in the past.

Playing the victim card is unlikely to get them any sympathy… 

I personally think that this strategy won’t benefit either of them. 

Particularly Abba. First of all, people are unlikely to believe she needs protection because nobody knows her in the first place. We all remember that ridiculous cringe moment at the Ghosted premiere where a paid actor pretended to be her fan and screamed her name. Also and I don’t mean any disrespect but she is not only unknown to the public but she is also totally unremarkable. She is so unremarkable in fact that when that influencer got the video of them at Walt Disney (the video where you can hear the influencer say at the end: “got it”) she had a pic of Abba’s back tattoo on her screen to make sure she recognized her. 

As for Chris, blaming his fans for the end of this shitshow is unlikely to gain him any sympathy either. We have seen so many fan pages disappear, so many fans leave. He has alienated so many loyal fans and a part of the general public with this relationship that isn’t on brand for him. It wouldn’t be wise to alienate the fans that have stuck around. 

Also playing the victim card is just not as popular as it once was. First of all, most normal people have troubles feeling sorry for out of touch celebrities. And why should they? They live in the real world and have real problems. Like having to hold on to their low-paying job, to take care of their kids or to put food on the table. Look at Harry and Meghan. Most people can’t stand them anymore. So Chris’ team would be wise to look for another exit strategy. They have time…

[eretzyisrael]

by Alan Zeitlin

Gold was a recent guest on the Here I Am podcast of Columbia University professor Shai Davidai, who went viral with a video in which he highlighted injustice against Jews at Columbia and in the US.

“Why, when the Jews defend themselves and their country, they’re not allowed to?” Gold said on the podcast.

He also said that it’s an insane twist that Israel has been accused of genocide.

“No, we’re preventing genocide [by Hamas],” Gold said. “…Everybody wants to hate…”

Gold said the deaths of Gazan civilians are tragedies of the war started by Hamas, which bears the responsibility for the harm they suffer — especially because Hamas uses them as human shields.

“Israel wants not one dead civilian,” he said. “Hamas wants not one living civilian.”

Gold explained that he is able to compartmentalize the situation in Israel. He says that there are times he is filled with anger, but must do his job — although he cancelled his immediate gigs after October 7. Then one Jewish organization asked him not to cancel, saying they needed the humor.

Gold said he said the name of Hersh Goldberg-Polin every day in his prayers, and it was earth-shattering to find out he and five others were murdered.

In an old interview, Gold told me that four Middle Eastern men in a car screamed at him while he was with his family in Los Angeles in 2014, while there was a war in Gaza, and the man yelled to Gold that he hoped his children died, while his children were standing behind him. Gold went to the police, and it was not considered a hate crime.

[burnwater13]

Concept art by Christian Alzmann, for The Mandalorian, Season 3, Episode 5, The Pirate. Image depicts Greef Karga, his protocol droid, Din Djarin, and Grogu standing on the streets of Nevarro City with a variety of Mandalorians and Nevarro citizens, having defeated the pirate king, Gorian Shard.

When they left the Anzellans’ shop, Grogu thought his dad would go right back to the High Magistrate’s office, but that’s not what the Mandalorian did. Instead they ended up going to the school that had been started in the building that used to belong to pirates. Grogu wondered why. He sure hoped that his dad didn’t plan on dropping him off there and then going off to visit the High Magistrate by himself. That wouldn’t be fair. And Grogu didn’t have any snacks to help him get through the boring lectures of that protocol droid, turned school teacher. He already knew enough about pirates, scoundrels, and smugglers. 

Grogu was surprised again when Din Djarin asked to speak to the droid instructor. Oh, no! Was he trying to sign Grogu up for classes? Would be going to school there everyday? Was this something he’d been planning and just hadn’t bothered to mention it to Grogu? Uff. Grogu would have to find a way to get back to the N-1. He wanted to talk to IG-11-M, but that could wait until the Mandalorian gave up this latest idea of his.

“Thank you for letting me interrupt your lesson. I just have a few questions about the High Magistrate’s protocol droid.”

Huh? Why would the Mandalorian interview the teaching droid about Greef Karga’s protocol droid?

“I do not have all the data about protocol droid C-29P. They were constructed in a different factory than my series.”

“That’s fine. I don’t need everything. Does that series of protocol droid imprint of the person it serves?”

“Imprint? You mean learn its needs? Yes. That is part of the programming. Much like my programming is focused on teaching children, such as your youngling, who has missed 1520 days of instruction since he was first added to my roster by the High Magistrate, C-29 has been programmed to meet the needs of their assigned leader. C-29 is required to ensure that the High Magistrate has the best possible day each and every day. Protocol droids make many sacrifices for their leaders.”

“Good to know. Does that include changing their exterior plating color?”

“That is highly individualized. I am as my maker made me. But, if the leader wanted such a change, it would be appropriate for a droid to do what they could to accommodate that request. I have records of some protocol droids wearing clothing and other coverings to ensure that their leader found their presence acceptable.”

Wow. Grogu had not even thought about that. He’d never seen a droid or mech in anything other than their customary plating. Sure, sometimes their exterior paint was changed, like with IG-11-M. He’d even heard of certain droids having mixed color plating because they had suffered damage and matching parts had been unavailable. It just never occurred to him that some of them might wear clothing. Huh.

“Thank you. By the way, you can remove Grogu from your class roster. I’m responsible for his education now. He’d my apprentice.”

“Very well, Mandalorian, Din Djarin. He has been moved to the inactive list. You will no longer receive reminders related to his attendance.”

Wow. That was a close one. They got the answers his dad was looking for and Grogu didn’t have to attend pirate school. His dad had never mentioned anything about receiving reminders about his attendance status, but they had been pretty busy since then and it must have just ended up in a junk folder or something like that.

The instructor droid returned to their classroom as the Mandalorian picked Grogu up again and settled him on his left shoulder. 

“Now it’s time to talk to Karga about all this. Maybe he told the droid that he wanted that sort of thing, but left the details to them to work out. Given what these droids must have done before Nevarro settled down, I won’t be surprised to find out C29 was Gorian Shard’s planet side assistant.”

Grogu hadn’t even considered that. Maybe that droid had been routinely asked to blackmail, coerce, and threaten the trades people in Nevarro City in order to do it’s job for its former leader. That sounded awful. He couldn’t actually imagine that Greef Karga had asked the droid to do things like that, but Greef Karga had once tried to trick his dad into giving Grogu back to the Imps, so anything was possible. Uff.

They made it back to the High Magistrate’s offices faster than Grogu expected and it seemed to him that the Mandalorian was specifically trying to avoid talking to the High Magistrate’s protocol droid as he seemed to hide in an alcove, waiting for the droid to go about its business. Grogu wondered if he should just help his dad along with that by causing a distraction that the droid would have to attend to? 

Rather than ask the Mandalorian and potentially give away their location, he simply reached out with the Force and tipped over the rack of brochures that were given to tourists to encourage them to return to Nevarro. Grogu knew the High Magistrate loved that rack and what it represented for the prosperity and future of the good people of Nevarro. 

The crash was impressive and the effect of it immediate. Both the protocol droid and the High Magistrate rushed out of the office, with the protocol droid making a beeline for the rack. Perfect!

Grogu jumped down from his dad’s shoulder and waved the Mandalorian on. Din Djarin could just whisk Greef Karga back into his office while Grogu continued to distract the protocol droid. He wondered what the Brethren would do in that situation. He felt that he had done exactly what his Jedi training had prepared him to do, but was that enough? 

To be continued…

[hermit-frog]

Something I don't get is WHY Armand didn't try to save Louis. And WHY did he save Louis from the coffin if he intented Louis to die on stage?? Is it just cowardice or am i missing something here?

Have literally two posts about why Armand didn't try to save Louis, guys do at least some minimum research, + rewatch the ep.

Have already shared my take on why Armand had released Louis out of the “banishment” but unfortunately for you, i still got few thoughts.

Louis was supposed to go with Claudia, burning alive in one or two minutes is much better than a slow, agonizing death. I know that Armand's inaction in the 70s was basically torture and punishment, but in this case Armand is the one aching with remorse, rightfully so (unlike 70s Louis). It was haunting him, the screams, the image of Louis, someone he loves, lying there in his claustrophobic darkness, starving and grieving, losing his mind. I find it interesting how Louis' starvation had fed Armand's guilt. I'm afraid you can't disassociate your way out of this one, Mandy. He couldn't take it.

Armand might be the strongest in the coven, but ironically, he is also one of the weakest. I mean, for god’s sake, he got played by Sam (and later Rashid and Daniel. cringefail lmao but it's not about that, it's about his psychological state). If we can trust Santiago (him being the mastermind) and the plot, that Armand wasn't actually pulling the strings since the beginning, like in the books, but was indeed given an ultimatum, then he's more pathetic panicked wet 🥺 loser than i had expected, lol. If Armand was in fact outcasted, humbled and humiliated, it made him extra vulnerable and sensitive to be around Louis, witnessing his pain was too much to bear. I 100% believe that Armand loved Louis. That theory going around that Armand was only with Louis to piss off Lestat, yeah, hate that. Lestat🤝Y'all attempting olympic level gymnastics in order to make everything about Lestat. No, thank you.

Idk how close to the truth Assad is in this interview, but if he's right, then i suppose there's little to no room for speculation behind Armand's actions at that moment. There could've been a theory (maybe there is) that Armand had used Louis like Lestat “You let it happen?” “Yes.” “You led him there, so he could destroy it.”, in this case to get his power back, but had miscalculated Louis' mind state, what he's capable of when blinded by rage and revenge. Resulting with him sitting on the ashes of his previous life, and having no option but to go with Louis.

But i don't like it, it doesn't make sense. Daniel ponders: “Thirteen to one. Maybe you were hedging your bets? See who emerges from the ash heap.” Armand had released Louis, and later when faced with consequences couldn't kill him again. To love him, to betray, to witness the trial, to hear Louis scream and suffer… Could Armand do it after everything they had, after the brutal betrayal that took Louis' daughter? Was Louis' determination to avenge Claudia and sacrifice himself in the process a turning point for Armand, just like in the tunnels? Armand couldn't attempt to kill Louis for the 3rd time, so he just let him.

Indeed the entire theatre paid for his grief and his rage, and justly so perhaps. I can make no judgment. I did not love those decadent and cynical French mummers. Those I had loved, and those who I could love, were, save for Louis de Pointe du Lac, utterly beyond my grasp. I must have Louis, that was my injunction. I knew no other. So I did not interfere when Louis incinerated the Coven and the infamous theatre, striking, at the risk of his own life, with flame and scythe at the very hour of dawn.

Have in mind that this is the book Armand, the one who had orchestrated the whole thing since the beginning, so you can only imagine how show Armand felt.