#(well not my brother but it doesnt matter)
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that was the most disappointing escape room ive ever done
#so#my family really likes to do escape rooms#(well not my brother but it doesnt matter)#and my moms friends also like to do escape rooms#so i went with my mom and her friends to do this escape room tonight#it was supposed to be a horror room#and we were all really hyped#and my mom and i have done some horror rooms before#some better than others#but all of them were somewhat mentally stimulating and challenging#but this one was Not It#my family and i had done a room at this location before#and that room was a kids room so we werent as surprised when the room told us what to do and then we did it#but for this one it felt disappointing#and like they dumbed down the room#and there were even remnants of puzzles that seemed to have been taken out!!#and they kept giving us hints without our asking!!#60out as a company has never been top tier#but this location specifically we will NEVER return to#because of how badly they have fumbled their rooms#$40 is too much to get out in thirty minutes im sorry
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post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
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dude why do my parents hate the fact that i like things
#lol i tried to put my little karkat paper cutout on the tree like ive been doing for the past two years#and theyre making a big fucking deal out of it#and my dad is being such a fucking hypocrite about it bc every year they put these like star wars ornaments on the tree#bc my dad and older brother like star wars#and i dont give a shit about star wars but i dont care abt them putting it on the tree bc it literally doesnt matter#and hes like 'well star wars is like universal and that thing is just you'#and my mom fucking haaates that i like having plushies#and again my dad is a hypocrite bc he has a bunch of older figures and toys of his favorite things displayed in his office#and he says 'well thats different because theyre things ive loved for a long time and am still really into'#like literally what the fuck#also they fucking hate literally all the music i like#my mom picks out one specific band i like to hate on like every two years#and when i want to play a song my dad like stops it halfway through to play something else#and he fucking hates tmbg so psionic warriors attack him right now
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i feel sick
#every time i think im over her#that she cant hurt me anymore#days like tuesday happen and i miss her so fucking much#i just want my mom#not this narcissist that replaced her when i was 11#i know she was like this before just to my dad#but i just want the mom that drove me to school every morning and took me to seaworld and the schools pta game night and did pizza fridays#i want to call her and hug her and have her tell me that its all going to be alright#but it wont#and that mom doesnt exist#maybe she never did#fuck i cant do this anymore#i was doing so fucking well#i was so fucking happy#why did she have to ruin it with her 40 essay-texts and email stalking?#and the boys are home now too#and i have to act like their mother didnt just force her way back into my life to bring up memories that make me want to claw my chest open#i have to act happy as my youngest brother gets his phone blown up with texts i know are from her#when i know that shes targeting him now that i left#like she did to me when my dad left her when i was 11#i cant do this anymore#i just cant#i cant spend my days throwing up in the school bathroom and crying myself to sleep and burying myself in shows to not feel anything real#i keep feeling like the other shoe is going to drop#that shes going to come to my college and tell her lies to everyone and ill lose all my friends and everyone who matters to me#and i cant even block her because she controls my fucking health insurance#the last time i talked to her she threatened to file for conservatorship#i cant do that
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gmmm!!!!
#how r we all...... spent the morning in my brothers shop painting minis n talkin bout his garden :]]]]#sometimes i think he's the only one in the family Without autism because-- well that doesnt matter#but then i like. go out to his shop where he has meticulously taken care of hundreds of seedlings organized in row/column system with color#coding and like fifteen pages of notebook notes & each of them has their own specific soil blend & he's out there#for hours a day taking care of them & also his raised bed he made by hand & carefully made & filled to his own incredibly specific#requirements & he has a carefully and lovingly planned out layout and organizational system for Every Single One of his shop tools#including the china markers & then i just go ah! so he got the USEFUL autism. how come i dont get the learning everything#ever about cement autism & instead im just insane over gay people on my laptop screen. NSKDHFHFJG#hes so cool though hes the best :] good morning. good vibes. anyway hi how r we all!!!#txt
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being an older sibling is so bizarre. i cry myself to sleep and turn myself green over all the experiences and opportunities my sibling gets to have that i never ever will. but at the same time i would chew my own arm off to ensure my sibling gets the best life in the entire world and never, ever has to feel the way i feel and experience the pain i have felt.
#op#i dont think my younger brother even cares about me. hes unreachable. he doesnt even open my messages or dms or snaps.#i think he'd forget me as soon as he could. or after our mom dies. i think he'd rather forget he has any family at all.#and i get that. i grew up in the same broken home he did. but ive tried to love him. and at 22 i know i was already trying to be#a good sister. and now hes 22 and doesnt even try to talk. so. im not sure my opinion matters.#i'm not sure anything i feel about him matters. and i'd never hate him but i'm so bitter he got everything like the ivy league and the#friend groups and the studies abroad but he still isnt happy and he still doesnt want to be my brother. but i love him so much#that i hate myself for ever feeling negative towards him because my god all i ever wanted was for my baby brother#to get out of our home alive and well and he fucking did it.#its so fucking hard. its all so fucking miserable and hard.
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patched up and good to go
#the three things you dont ask: a man's salary a woman's weight#and fenrir why his brother has a broken nose and what happened to vasili's face#oc stuff#royaltines#a scandalous guy. you dont just fall in love with the guy youre protecting#now he needs an entirely new bodyguard bc youre obviously compromised#vasili takes a jab at dusko like oh youre leftovers protecting that piece of shit and dusko is like well at least im not sleeping with him#at least i still have my JOB as a BODYGUARD like we were RAISED no matter i had to switch who im guarding#theyve mettled at tourneys before and theyre fairly equal though vasili has lost more often#mainly bc he has kids and a husband and isnt just dedicating his whole life to training like a certain someone#the fights take foreeeever tho theyre too equal so when vasili decides to challenge dusko everyone groans#so sometimes his husband just says babe dont fight this time and hes a bit mad but okay#'i dont want you to get hurt' he says but he just doesnt want to watch him and his rival smack each other around for 45 minutes
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So technically speaking the oldest son in our family should be named after an eldest son of the direct generations before per Italian American tradition (so one of the parents or grand parents/uncles) in this case but the eldest son died before my father got to meet him and thus the technical eldest son in our family was named after our great grandfather instead and not called Sonny as is tradition (he and my father refuse to admit that he is no longer the eldest son because i now exist)
i am tho realizing that if my Italian grandfather (god rest ya Joe) who half raised me and loved me deeply were still alive to be a part of my transition and were as supportive as i hope he would be, especially in spite of my father failing in the role of being a supportive father, he would no doubt see that our family lacks a Sonny of its own, bemoan the neglect of tradition, and anoint me the new Sonny, the true eldest son
#is this a personal fantasy that only came into existence yesterday after a conversation with my dad about a semifamous relative? yes#technically my brother was supposed to be named more directly and called Sonny and the idea made him want to die#my dad is going on and on about my brother being the eldest son and the first born son and the tradition of eldest sons#and my stepmom just immediately turns to me and goes well i think YOU SHOULD BE SONNY JAMES#she pauses and adds MAYBE JOE WOULDVE LIKED IT TOO WHO KNOWS HE MIGHTVE CALLED YOU SONNY#SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING HED CALL YOU#and my dad just doesnt know what to do or say my brother doesnt know what to do or say and i laugh and test out the name#and she and i just move on to how ill ask the university about my great uncle sonny's student records since thats how it came up#but the fuckin discomfort in my father and brother's faces was really really good. felt authentic.#so now im considering calling on nonno joe. havent done that before. but i think i will.#technically its good no one got named after the semi local famous colonel we were talking about imo#he worked for reagan and probably wasnt all that great in terms of someone id get along with#but the tradition is in this moment what matters!
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being normal about audiobooks again. prommy. but whyyyyy why why why why why why dont audiobook narrators following in other narrator’s footsteps within the same series (ESPECIALLY FANTASY) just . quickly have a listen to the prev person’s pronunciation of words. i wish it wasnt this hard and yet.
#im listening to crystal awakening and well 1. i looooove learning new stuff about delanos and all the spires#and i love that this is katashi again even tho we technically already associate katashi with a different spire but like thats wrong#and id love to know what the timeline on this is (though if the prologue has anything to do with that i think its a couple years before AA)#but its like. ugh ok listen to nick podehl when narrating aa is narrating from a limited 1st pov so it doesnt matter how he says delanos#i mean it . does but i can ignore it bc corin is from valia so we can just pretend the inconsistency there is on corins part#but you caaaant have a valian character pronounce valia as vah-lia if corin pronounces it vay-lia#&&& like with the whole delanos thing its more of a declension issue so its fine i can pretend to be normal#but like. brother the word is spelled valia it should not be so hard you literally have a 50% success rate#& like. im pretty sure corin mentions valia within the very first chapter of aa1#(and also in general i dont really care i think i as the audience should get to complain and make demands. bc i love aa)#anyway its whatever i am loving this one a lot#i think sage is such a sweetheart (& emiko but that goes without saying) & hahne (idk how to spell that)#theyre very very interesting & mysterious which we love. & i love the male narrator a lot i love how he makes aldis sound#recently read#starting the year off right by reading both of my fave authors (andrew & china)
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i should get like government compensation for cleaning my fathers toilet
#but i would do that a hundred times over then have to spend another minute sharinf a bathroom with my brother so!#but yea that shit was nasty. and he doesnt even have a toilet cover....#but oh well ! the worst of it has been cleaned so NOW its rlly just a matter of organizinggggg#ill put my bathroom stuff away before setting up my bed then figure out the layout and sort of go from there ❤️
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Thinking about Arno again and just how rarely he smiles or laughs once the plot of the game begins and it just makes me want to lay down and cry. He's still very much his sassy, attitude filled self, but there's a definite somberness that he carries with him at all times that seems to stop him from letting himself feel any sort of happiness or joy. In the game, besides the intro part, the only times he ever smiles is when he's with Elise, but afterward? After she dies? There's an even heavier veil of sorrow around him that's just so incredibly heartbreaking because he's so guilt and grief ridden :(((
It just makes me look at Arno like... I wanna help my guy... I wanna make him feel better .... can you please smile and laugh again please please please please-
#OKAY BUT LEGITIMATELY!!!! HE MAKES ME SO FUCKING SAD CAUSE HE NEVER GETS A FUCKING BREAK !!!!#I've been thinking about this for my jacob/arno fic and how I've somehow made things even worse for him#so when jacob first meets him he's absolutely fucking miserable and at his lowest he'll ever be#to me it matters so so very much that they meet when they're extremely low#arno has lost elise. figuratively lost bellec. was kicked out of the brotherhood. and has absolutely nothing left#jacob just had an extremely rough argument with evie with it culminating in her saying she never wants to see him again after this mission#and that he doesn't deserve to share the same blood as their father if he never even cared to mourn him#so jacob knows he's on the very verge of losing the only family he has left and that evie likely doesnt even see him as a brother anymore#AND THIS IS EXTREMELY SOON AFTER ROTH AS WELL !!!!! GOD !!!!!#ROTH WHO WAS THE ONLY PERSON WHO BOTHERED TO TRY AND KNOW HIM WHO TURNED OUT TO BE A MANIAC#so yeah. its so important to me that they meet at their absolute fucking lowest and are miserable shits together for a bit#because hey. I think its important to see the worst of the person that you'll eventually fall in love with#so just jacob and arno chilling together in the husk of versailles. getting drunk together. them just leaning on each other...#anyway . ... .. im going to BED ¡!!!!!¡!!
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thinking about a game swap. for zesteria/berseria
#.text#zestiria#actually been thinking about it for dayssaa#sorey who lives alone in a small town near pendrago. maybe his brother is sergei? theyre like brothers to me already#anyways then theres his boy best friend mikleo (human) (because hes in place of laphicet) who lives with his uncle michael#after his mom died (im sure you can see where this is going). sorey is sick at the time so he doesnt hear it coming#bc im NOT immune to Chronic Illness Sorey. consequences of being born early. he is sick all the time forever#anyway. one night heldalf's men invade. im sure you know the story. people die or turn into daemons or they turn into daemons#and then die. and while sorey is running (he thinks hes dreaming. or hallucinating. its just the fever and everything is fine) and#looking for mikleo. im sure you can guess what happens there too. bye (human) mikleo#idea came to me in a haze when i was thinking about how totally normal it would be for a guy to love a person who looks exactly#like his dead best friend. you know how it is.#anyway i think sorey is someone who could be fun if put in the role as 'villain' bc. well. that part in zestiria where he#dealt with the world calling him a monster and he just. didnt think about it bc if thats what they wanted him to be or if thats#what they saw him as it didnt matter. he'd still do what he thought was best. regardless of whether or not the world hated him#which. is also kind of similar to what laphicet said to velvet#sad they dropped that in zestiria but its fine i can fix it. with my funny game swap#and i can put these bad boys into Situations
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gays were fighting on 1st day of pride month everyone loses
#im pretty sure they quite literally kissed and made up before school ended though#well! things happen. rice matters#theyre so illogical they only had curry& no rice several classmates offered a portion of their rice. they refused#and went to throw the curry in the bathroom.#what the everlasting hell#sometimes they are both terrible people i swear my brother doesnt lose his temper half as easily#also if your girlfriend would get mad if you ate food that was not prepared by her did you know.she has a problem#she has a problem in general yeah but . my classmate isnt that bad of a person its just her gf that is.#slightly mildly. bad.#hence why on earth does Anyone
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Toxic masculinity is so fucking stupid you see a guy who's clearly in pain and wounded, and you are like "oh to open that door you need to push hard. I can do it for you" because you want to prove you're strong and reliable in front of someone who is, at the time, weaker than you, prove you're the stronger man
But then the wounded guy also has his pride. You tell him all there is to do is push hard? Even with an orthopedic neck on, he won't admit in front of another man he is in need of help. If all he needs to do is show he's still strong besides anything, he will, even if it's in vain, even if he ends up wondering if now his clavicle is broken or maybe misplaced, even if at the end he needs to call a locksmith, he will do the masculine thing first, as much as he can. He just won't allow himself a moment of vulnerability, even if admitting being weak would be the reasonable thing to do, the only viable option seems to be to show you are the strongest, even at your worst
Like. Please. Use your brains and consider the locksmith who you still needed to call anyways bc your lock is broken as your first choice before potentially harming yourself it's not that fucking hard
#my posts#my brother has been living a very specific livestyle and finally his oddly alright luck is all running out at once#which. he deserves that. mysoginistic abusive piece of shit you had a good run for longer than you ahoule have had it!#for a guy whos always saying hes the only smart person in the world basically he sure doesnt fucking think lmao#i wont say more than this bc if i try i end up deleting it bc oversharing imo but. yeah it was really only a matter of time#such a smartass and for what lol dude think things over or your life will only continue to go downhill#he wont. im 90% sure. he wont change now. but im too tired of his bullshit after all these years so. not my problem#he can get worse for all i care which i wouldnt be caring if he wasnt momentarily living with us again bc hes hurt#i cant wait for the day i wont have to interact with him again at all lmao#but yeah imagine living your life constantly worried of being considered weak that even when you are in a thought spot#even when you are actually hurt you have to display masculinity anyways at the price of being worse#and i say it as someone who feels like he needs to prove himself at times but. constantly???? and at the worst times too???#like damn. get well soon from that behaviour bc that just seems so tiring
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jess catching sam kissing a man in an alley after following him because she noticed something was wrong.
the man is tall but sam easily towers over him. she can't see well but she knows the man is well built and when sam pulls away all she sees is his big wide grin. she knew what awaited her when she followed sam but the heartbreak is all the same so she runs away. she runs away and doesnt confront sam when he comes back home from a run. she pointedly doesnt look at his obviously raw lips or smell the foreign cologne on his jacket. he doesnt have to know she knows. they're happy like this and thats all that matters.
a few months later she walks into her living room to see sam and the man again. they're not furiously making out in an alley so she can get a clear look at him. he's handsome, blonde with green eyes and big lips. sam looks positively entranced by him. she's terrified.
"sam?"
"jess. hey. dean this is my girlfriend jessica."
there is blood pooling in her ears. thats not right. thats not what he said. vomit threatens to leave her mouth instead of words.
"wait your brother dean?"
jess makes eye contact with the man. its that same awful grin again.
"oh i love the smurfs."
#save me jess wincest pov#jess outsider pov makes me go crazy#dean winchester#sam winchester#jessica moore#samdean#qoute: sam and dean winchester are psychotically irrationally erotically codependent on each other#wincest#sam and dean#supernatural#spn#fic post
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Piggy Back Rides M.S.
Bf!Matt x Gf!Fem!Reader
Summary: in which you love getting piggy back rides from your boyfriend
A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)
it was no secret you and matt love language was physical touch. Any chance you get you guys have to be touching each other it could even be a simple a linking pinkies for that matter you just had to been touching the other or you would go insane.
Although having been dating for a little over a year, you guys have figure out what form of physical touch you much crave from one another. Matt loves having his hands on you thighs it was not only a comfort thing for him especially when he was driving but it was also way to say that your were his and he and you knew it. For you you just love resting you head or even nuzzling your face in your boyfriends neck while your manicured hands run up and down his back or torso.
It was one of those nights that you were spending with your boyfriend and his brothers at their shared house, you sitting on the counter watching the triplets bicker about what to cook for dinner, them ultimately agreeing on mac and chesse.
" what are we wanting to do tomorrow"
nick asks chris and matt seeing they were all in kitchen still, matt turns around so his back was now facing you while he was still positioned in between your legs. You slowly sigh out clamly beginning to wrap your arms and let them drape over your boyfriends shoulders on either side.
" it doesnt matter to me honestly"
chris repsonds to his brother looking at matt as he shrugs his shoulder. you let out and audible sigh that your boyfriend could hear.
'whats wrong"
he chuckles out
" you have to move so i can get down"
"why"
"because matt im going to piss myself if you don't"
"i can just give you a piggy back ride there"
he chuckles grabbing your thighs wrapping them across his waist as you giggle tightly securing you arms around his neck.
"okay then byee"
you squeal out to nick and chris.
and thats how it started and it didn't have to be formal like that it could be a simple as you two standing in the position and not having a destination in mind.
" do you guys ever get tired of standing like that honey"
marylou asks her middle child seeing you were all standing in the kitchen with you clinging onto your boyfriend's back. As he simple shakes his head in response to his mom swaying from side to side knowing you are practically falling asleep from the motion.
"no mom they are always doing that and I don't get it"
nick complains out
"its fucking annoying"
chris chimes in as marylou smack him gently in the stomach for his choice of words.
"agh sorry mom but its true"
he groans out defending himself.
"okay then well do you like it"
she questions you smiling at you practically half asleep on her sons shoulder.
"mhm"
you yawn out letting your eyes flutter close.
"take her to bed honey"
marylou chuckles as matt walks upstairs saying good night to his family.
It's gotten to the point that sometimes mattt would even come up with any excuse to have you on his back.
"baby come on lets go for a walk"
matt pouts as he is standing in front of your sitting figure on your couch.
"matt it like 6:30 in the evening and its suppose to rain in like 20 mintues"
you huff out as he pushes his knee to push apart your knees to create space for in to sit in between them on the couch.
"matt what are you doing"
you giggle out just rolling with whatever your boyfriend is trying to do at this given moment. Matt proceeded to wrap your arms around his neck and then your legs after.
"matt"
you exclaim out as he stand up off of the couch jumping a few times to readjust you on his back and to get a better grip on your thighs. Matt starts making his way to the front door with you kicking you feet trying to get him to halt in his actions before walking out the front door seeing its now raining.
"matt no i dont want to get wet"
you groan and exclaim out, knowing even telling him this information he is still going to proceed to get you wet.
"oh come on its just rain"
he chuckles as he steps outside allowing the rain to start pouring over your guys figure, leaving a cool feeling on the bare skin of your arms.
"okay okay i want to go back inside now"
you complain to you boyfriend after being outside on just the driveway.
"MATTHEW"
you scream out as he sprints down the driveway into the street of the neighborhood, as you grip onto his shoulders tightly and then proceeding to dig your face into the side of his neck and shoulder as he spins you two around.
"look at these two idiots"
chris states from the inside of the house staring out the window with Nick right beside him recording the whole thing.
"they are so in love it make me sick honestly"
Nick jokes out as Chris chuckles.
In the end, to say piggy back rides have become you and matt's favorite thing would be an understatement.
Taglist
@mintsturniolo @dirtylittleheart333 @wh0resstuff @spicymuffins03 @stayingstromboli @aaliyahsturn
#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo triplets x reader#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo
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