#(to the mutual who tagged me in a similar one around the same time: I will do it in a few days bc some questions overlap)

[woniedarlin]

Hii! I don't know if you still take requests but I read your Jungwon ff ''Sent, Delivered, Loved'' (apologies if I got the name wrong) and I wanted to ask if you could write something similar to that? I've seen a Jungwon SMAU called Hypeboy where the reader is a member of NewJeans and how she has a crush on Jungwon from trainee days and also how she wrote the songs Hype Boy and Super Shy dedicated to him but one day someone exposes how Hype Boy is written for Jungwon. The original SMAU looks like it's discontinued and I thought you were the perfect person to request to possibly write something like that. I hope it makes sense and not lot to take in 😭🙏🏻

Verse One: You

pairing: Jungwon x Ive member! reader

author's note: OMG, this request was sent back in May 😭 I’m so sorry, anonie. Everything got a little messy, and I ended up taking a break, but now I’m back and releasing this!

Also, If you are the original creator or know who created the original version, please let me know so I can give proper credit! I never want to leave anyone unacknowledged. Thank you so much for your patience and understanding 🥺💗

warnings: This story mentions public hate and scrutiny, emotional scenes, secret dating, mutual pining, soft fluff with a touch of angst, and cursing.

permanent tag list: @sol3chu @chlorinecake @13tter @jung1w0n @layzfy @firstclassjaylee @ijustwannareadstuff20

When Starship asked if you had any ideas for IVE’s debut, you didn’t answer immediately.

You stared at the ceiling of your dorm that night with headphones in. There wasn’t one specific moment. It was a blur of kindness. He held the practice room door open for you, offered a slight bow in the hallway, and returned your water bottle after you’d forgotten it. He was gentle and shy.

Jungwon… Oh, that sweet boy… Well, you hadn’t seen him in years. Not since both of you were trainees under SM. Two quiet kids chasing the same impossible dream. You weren’t close, but something about him made you wish he’d look at you a second longer.

And when he left for Belift Lab… and you left for Starship… you thought maybe that was the end of whatever almost was. But still, somehow, he stayed. In the back of your mind. In the quiet parts of your heart. So you wrote Eleven.

And when it became your debut song… when you stood under stage lights and sang about how someone made your heart beat faster than eleven times a second…

No one knew. No one knew it was him. But nothing stays hidden forever. Not in this industry. Not in this life. And especially not in love.

🎶

The practice room was mostly quiet, where you could hear the air conditioner hum. You were hunched over your lyric sheet, mouthing the same chorus for the third time when the door creaked open. You looked up. And it was Jungwon. He had his hood up, eyes scanning the room. When his eyes landed on you, his shoulders twitched as if he was ready to turn around and disappear. “Oh, sorry,” he said, bowing quickly. “I thought it was empty.”

You pulled out one earbud. “It’s fine!”

…Why did that sound so enthusiastic?

He gave a sheepish nod and gestured behind you. “I left my water bottle.” You turned to grab it before he could take another step. Almost tripping over your bag in the process. “Here,” you said, holding it out.

“Thanks,” he said. His voice was so quiet. Ugh, so cute. And then, because your brain stopped functioning, you blurted.

“I know you.”

…

He was caught off guard.

You wanted to explode.

I know you?

Who says that? Who says that in real life?

You might as well tattoo “EMBARRASSING” across your forehead.

But Jungwon just gave a tiny, awkward smile. “Ah… yeah. I think I’ve seen you around, too.”

You nodded too fast. “Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.”

He bowed again, bottle in hand, and walked out. The second the door closed, you exhaled the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You collapsed into the nearest chair and covered your face with your hands. I know you? Really? That’s your game? Might as well have said, “I watch you exist from afar and develop romantic feelings based on absolutely no interaction.”

Gosh. You never forgot that moment. Not because it was magical, but because it was mortifying. And yet, every time you passed him in the hallway after that, he nodded a little more confidently. Sometimes, he even smiled.

🎶

It wasn’t anything special. A simple greeting in the hallway. A polite smile in the practice room. A quick “good luck” before evaluations. You didn’t notice it happening. Then one day, you realized your heart had been whole for a while.

He never knew. No one did. And then one day… he was gone. You heard the rumors first. A few male trainees were leaving. You didn’t believe it until you passed by the hallway where his name used to be on the door. Jungwon’s cubby was empty. Later, someone confirmed it:

“He left. Think he moved to Belift Lab.”

You stood in the hallway longer than you should have, staring at the empty spot.

Just like that? He’s gone?

You didn’t even get to say goodbye.

PRESENT

Years passed, and you changed companies. You debuted with IVE. The noise was louder. The pressure is heavier. But you were doing what you loved. Still… some things stayed with you. Like how you couldn’t stop thinking of him during that late-night writing session for your debut. You sat at the corner of the room, journal in lap, scribbling lyrics. Something sweet and mysterious. A secret you never really told anyone. It was titled: “Eleven.”

Something transparent, between you and me

Look into it quietly

Into the rising waves

I'm falling in love even more

When you wrote those lines, you weren’t thinking of anyone else. Just one boy.

🎶

Another week, another music show. IVE had performed Eleven so many times by now, you could do the choreography in your sleep. The hair. The makeup. The fan chants. The camera angles. You had it down to a science. But nothing could’ve prepared you for this. Not the stage. Not the song. Not even the encore announcement. Because when you stepped off the stage to head backstage, you saw him. Your heart stopped for a second. It was him. It was Jungwon. Now the leader of Enhypen is standing just a few feet away from you. And he turned and locked eyes with you for the first time in years. He smiled. That shy, gentle one you remembered. And then, in the calmest voice ever.. “Hey… I remember you.”

Your brain short-circuited. You forced a smile. Okay. Play it cool. Say something normal. Be normal. You’re normal. “Y-Yeah…” you stammered. “You used to, um… help me with my charger once.”

CHARGER??? Out of every possible memory? girl, really?!

You laughed awkwardly. He did too. It was stupidly, painfully cute. You wanted to run. Or write a song about it. Or both 😋

A small laugh escaped him. “Charger?” he repeated. You gave a tiny laugh while rubbing the back of your neck. “Yeah. I mean, it’s silly. But I guess I remembered because you were one of the only trainees who talked to me.” His expression softened. “You were quiet.”

“So were you.”

He looked at you, then nodded with a shy grin. “Guess that’s true. But I do remember you. You used to write lyrics in your notebook during breaks.” Your eyes widened. “You remember that?” He shrugged. “Yeah… I thought it was cool.” Before you could respond, someone from your team called your name. You gave a small wave, stepping backward. “Anyway… congrats on debuting,” you said quickly. Jungwon smiled. “Congrats as well,” he said. And just as you turned to leave, he called out lightly

“If your charger ever breaks again… I got you.”

You practically tripped.

🎶

When you stepped inside the dorm, it was like someone flipped a switch in you. You were glowing. You spun around once, still holding your bag, then immediately wrapped your arms around Wonyoung from behind, squealing, “You’re so pretty today!”

Wonyoung stiffened. “Um… thanks?” Liz peeked from behind the fridge door. “Did she just compliment someone without being bribed with food?”

“Not just that,” Rei added, putting down her phone. “She was smiling the entire van ride home. Smiling. Not scrolling aimlessly or dead asleep.”

“I swear I saw her skip at one point,” Yujin muttered. You laughed, practically falling onto the couch with a dreamy sigh. “Okay, spill,” Leeseo said, crawling next to you. “What happened?”

Your lips were twitching as you tried to hold it in. But it burst out, all breathless and bubbly: “I saw Jungwon.” All six heads turned to you at once. “As in…Jungwon?” Gaeul repeated slowly. You nodded, hugging the pillow. “We talked. He said he remembered me… from back then.” They all stared. You just laughed again, burying your face in your pillow to muffle your high-pitched scream.

🎶

You’re in your pajamas now with your bare feet thudding against the mattress as you jump lightly up and down, a massive grin on your face. “He remembered me,” you whispered to yourself. Then louder: “HE REMEMBERED ME.” You flopped onto your bed, kicking your legs. Face buried in your pillow, you groaned out a high-pitched squeal, the same one your members had heard way too often lately.

“You used to write lyrics in your notebook.”

“I thought it was cool.”

Those words had been replaying in your head.

You turned on your side, heart still racing.

Then you reached for your lyrics notebook, flipping to a blank page.

And with a small smile, you wrote at the top:

AFTER LIKE – draft

(Inspired by the boy who noticed)

🎶

You peeked out from behind the curtains, clutching your earpiece. Your stylist had run off to grab your missing bracelet for the live stage, leaving you in a maze of identical hallways and doors. You should’ve memorized the way back to the waiting room by now, but… no. You had wandered. Again. You sighed. This is fine. This is totally fine.

Footsteps. You turned around. “Um… are you okay?” Jungwon asked in a complete stage outfit. Slightly flushed, seems like he’d just finished rehearsing. And just as cute as the first time you saw him as a trainee. If not worse now because of the way your heart wouldn’t stop skipping.

“O-oh,” you stammered, clutching the earpiece a little tighter. “Yeah. I, um… I think I got lost.”

He smiled. “I know these halls are confusing. I kind of memorized them because I get lost a lot too.”

That made you let out a tiny laugh. “Really?”

He nodded. “Wanna walk back together? I think your room is two doors down from ours.”

You tried to answer, but your brain short-circuited. “Y-yeah. Sure. That’d be… that’d be great.” The walk was only 20 seconds, but your heart ran a marathon. Neither of you said much. Only a few awkward laughs, a glance here and there. But right as you reached your door, he turned to you again. “Uh- do you want to exchange numbers maybe? Just… in case you get lost again. Or, um… yeah.”

Your soul left your body.

“Oh- yeah. Totally. In case I get lost. That makes sense.”

You both fumbled for your phones, and you handed yours to him. You swore you stopped breathing. After you typed yours into his, he gave a little nod, his ears slightly pink. “Okay. I’ll… see you around?” He gave you a tiny wave before heading off.

The second he turned the corner, you slammed the door behind you and collapsed onto the couch face-first.

Wonyoung jumped. “What the-?!”

“Ssssh. I’m having a moment,” you mumbled into the cushion.

🎶

Everyone else was asleep or pretending to be. But you were lying in bed, staring at your phone. You had Jungwon’s number now. You had it. You’d been staring at his contact for twenty minutes. Finally, after fighting your thumbs for ten more minutes, you texted.

You: hey !

You immediately screamed into your pillow. You stared at the message and regretted everything. Then… ping!

Jungwon: Hey haha

Jungwon: Didn’t expect a text this late

You sat up in bed.

You: SORRY!! is it too late?? i can stop!! 😭😭

You: i just couldn’t sleep and ur name was just there… 😅

He was typing…

Jungwon: It’s okay lol

Jungwon: I’m still up

Jungwon: You did amazing earlier btw

You bit your lip, kicking your blanket off as you curled up again. Your cheeks were on fire.

You: you too!! your group was so cool i got the chills 🧊💃🚨

What the fuck did you just sent?!

You: NO WAIT

You: THE EMOJIS😭

You: idk why i used those

You: that’s not even a combo that makes sense

You: ignore it please 😭😭😭😭😭

You considered deleting the entire thread and throwing your phone out the window.

Ping.

Jungwon: LMFAOOO

Jungwon: i was just about to ask what that meant

You: NO 😭

You: i was trying to be COOL

You: sorry 🥹

Jungwon: nah

Jungwon: i think it’s cute

Jungwon: i like people who text weird 💀

AHHHHH

You: u do? :]

Jungwon: yeah. ur texts made me laugh

Jungwon: that’s rare lately tbh

Jungwon: so thanks

You stared at your phone. Then, you screamed into your pillow again. Then immediately jumped on Gaeul’s bed and hugged her mid-sleep. “WHAT!? What’s wrong with you?!” she mumbled, eyes barely open.

You giggled. “I think Jungwon likes weird girls.”

She rolled over, pulled her blanket over her face, and grumbled, “Then he’s definitely gonna love you.”

You just smiled into your hands, grabbed your notebook, and began scribbling the lyrics again.

🎶

You sat cross-legged on the floor, your notebook resting on your knees. After all the reworking, the crossed-out lines, and the late-night revisions, you had finally finished the lyrics for After Like. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. “I’m done,” you said quietly.

Rei, lying on the floor nearby, looked up. “Done-done?” You nodded. She sat up quickly. “Wait-seriously?!” You handed her the notebook. She read through a few lines, then looked up at you with a slow grin. “This is amazing. You are a genius.”

“Yeah?” you asked, nervously.

Yujin and Wonyoung leaned over to see, too. “Oooh,” Yujin said. “This part in the chorus is smart. You changed the phrasing.”

“Thank you for your hard work,” Wonyoung added, glancing at you with a small smile.

You just shrugged, but you were smiling to yourself. It felt satisfying. And yeah… You couldn’t ignore the fact that it was the boy who lightly inspired some lines, or we might say, heavily inspired. You shook your head, trying to push that thought away. Liz tossed you a chocolate bar from across the room. “For the lyricist.”

“Thanks,” you said, catching it.

Leeseo grinned. “So when’s it coming out?”

“Soon. The company’s reviewing it now,” you said. “I think they like it.”

🎶

After “After Like” wrapped, everything happened so fast. One day, you were stuck in the studio trying to perfect a bridge that didn’t sound forced; the next, the whole world was watching the finished MV. It was everywhere. Trending. Millions of views. Comments are flooding in.

Back in the dorm, your members were laughing and rewatching it for the third time, teasing each other with their facial expressions and fancams. But you were proud. Not just because of the song, but because you wrote for it. It was a little piece of your voice.

Later that night, you checked your phone out of habit. One new message. But the display name showed up a second later.

Jungwon: just saw the mv.

Jungwon: congrats on the release

Jungwon: you guys did well

You took a second, rereading the text, then replied

You: thank you :]

You: i still can’t believe it’s out haha

You locked your phone. Then immediately unlocked it again. Sorry, Impulsive thoughts 😙

Typed. Erased. Typed again.

You: hope it didn’t feel too repetitive LMAO i kept stressing over the chorus

Jungwon: not at all

Jungwon: actually i liked it

Jungwon: especially your part

You stared at your phone for a moment too long. Then responded like nothing. You gotta act cool, ya know?

You: oh wow thank you haha

You: i wrote that part so that means a lot

He replied quickly.

Jungwon: i figured

Jungwon: it felt personal

Jungwon: in a good way

This time, you didn’t know what to say. So you just smiled to yourself and left it there.

🎶

Your head throbbed quietly under the harsh white lights of the waiting room. Your makeup had been retouched three times already, not because it smudged, but because the staff needed something to do while waiting. Everything was in a weird state of limbo.

Your limbs ached. You hadn’t appropriately sat for hours. You couldn’t tell if it was hunger, sleep deprivation, or both, but your body was slowly shutting down. Eyelids heavy, and the corner of your lip twitching from how long you’d been holding in yawns.

Why did they schedule pre-recording at 2:30 AM again?

You sank further into the couch, your head against the backrest. One of your members was dozing beside you, another scrolling silently. You were too tired even to scroll. Then you heard the door click open. You didn’t bother looking. It was just another staff member. But when someone passed by the door, you saw that there was another group. Right. Other idols were also doing pre-recording tonight. You’d forgotten that this was one of those collaboration episodes where multiple groups showed up to record special stages or joint intros. Your phone vibrated. You glanced down, expecting it to be one of the stylists asking where you were. But it wasn’t.

Jungwon: Are you in the waiting room?

Jungwon: Come outside just for a bit.

You stared at the message momentarily, your tired brain slowly catching up. Then, quietly, without drawing attention, you stood up, murmured something to your manager about needing a breather, and left.

The hallway was dimmer out here. You passed some closed dressing rooms and turned a corner near the back exit. It was a place only staff or idols wandered through during moments like this. You saw Jungwon sitting on the floor, legs stretched out. He looked up as soon as he heard your steps. Without saying a word, he patted the spot beside him. You hesitated. Then you sat down. Cold wall against your back. Tired body finally resting. Neither of you spoke for a while. Then he whispered, almost as if he wasn’t sure he should say it, “I saw you earlier. You looked like you were about to fall apart.”

You gave an exhausted laugh. “I kind of was.”

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

“Same.”

“I’m glad you came out,” he said eventually.

You didn’t answer right away. Then, “I didn’t know if I should.”

His voice was quieter this time. “Why?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t really…” You paused. “Talked.”

He opened his eyes and turned slightly to face you. “We don’t have to say anything deep,” he said. “I just wanted to sit here with you.”

You stared at the floor and nodded.

…

You didn’t know how long the silence lasted. Could’ve been five minutes. Could’ve been ten. But he spoke again. “Back then… you always sat alone during breaks.”

You laughed. “So did you.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I think that’s why I noticed.”

That made your chest tighten a bit. You didn’t know why. “I thought you didn’t remember me,” you murmured. “When you left SM, I mean.”

“I did,” he said, finally looking at you.

And because the hallway felt safe, and your mouth worked faster than your brain, you blurted softly, “I was kinda upset. Back then. When you left.” He turned slightly. “I didn’t know why I was upset,” you continued, fidgeting with your sleeves. “We weren’t even close. But I wondered if I did something wrong, or if you think it didn't matter.”

His eyes widened just slightly. You didn’t dare look at him, panicked. Why would you even say that?! Then you added quickly, trying to soften it, “Not that I expected anything. I mean, we weren’t-like, I wasn’t-uh, I just thought we-”

“Hey,” he cut in gently, and your rambling died. You peeked at him. “I’m sorry I left like that,” he said. “I was scared. I didn’t think anyone would care.”

“I cared,” you whispered, before you could stop yourself. And then your eyes widened. Shit…

He looked a little stunned. You panicked. “I mean-like-not care care. Just-you know, as a person. As a fellow trainee! I mean-ugh. Never mind.” You covered your face with your hands, groaning into them.

Jungwon let out a breathy laugh beside you. “You haven’t changed.” You peeked at him between your fingers. He smiled.

“Would it be weird if we… talked more now?” You didn’t know why you said that. You hadn’t planned to.

He was surprised, and for a moment, you panicked again. Maybe it was too forward. But then he smiled. “No,” he said. “It wouldn’t be weird at all.”

A loud voice echoed from down the hallway: “Enhypen! Final check!”

You both flinched. Jungwon slowly stood up, brushing the back of his pants with one hand. Then he looked down at you, hesitating for a second before gently offering his other hand. You stared at it. You weren’t used to this. Not from him. Not from anyone. Still, you slid your hand into his, and he easily pulled you up. You were now standing way too close. Your jacket, which had slipped slightly from your shoulders earlier, threatened to fall again. Without saying anything, Jungwon reached out, gently pulling it up and letting it rest properly across your shoulders. His fingers lightly brushed the collar as if it was settled right.

..AHHHH

“There,” he said quietly.

You opened your mouth, then closed it again. “Thanks.”

He gave a soft smile. “See you later.”

He gave one last look before jogging off. And then you let out a breath, cheeks hot.

“…What was that?” you whispered.

🎶

Week later, 11:42 PM

Your phone buzzes.

Jungwon 🐱: do i look like i haven’t slept in 4 days or 5

Jungwon : [grainy mirror selfie.]

You stare at it for a second. You weren’t expecting a message from him tonight. Or any night, really.

You: solid 5.5

You: borderline 6 if you zoom in on the eyebags

Jungwon 🐱: harsh critic

Jungwon 🐱: remind me why i texted you

You: because you’re bored

You: and you know i’m up

Jungwon 🐱: not wrong

Jungwon 🐱: practice ran late

Jungwon 🐱: everyone left

You: and you stayed behind?

Jungwon 🐱: yeah

Jungwon 🐱: wasn’t ready to go back

You look at the message a little longer than necessary. Then you type.

You: hm

You: quiet is nice sometimes

Jungwon 🐱: yeah

Jungwon 🐱: reminds me of when it was just us in that one sm hallway

Jungwon 🐱: after vocal lessons

Your heart does something stupid.

Jungwon🐱: that was quiet

Jungwon 🐱: and awkward

Jungwon 🐱: still is lol

You: y’know, i was half-dead yesterday.

You: someone decided to schedule pre-recording before sunrise again.

Jungwon 🐱: it builds character 💪

You: funny. you also disappeared back then and said nothing. character building too?

Jungwon 🐱: woah

Jungwon 🐱: throwback attack

You: just saying

You: could’ve at least said bye

You: or like, waved. idk

Jungwon 🐱: want me to ghost you again?

You: maybe this time wave before disappearing

Jungwon 🐱: 👋

You roll your eyes. But you’re smiling.

🎶

It was supposed to be just another day. You had rehearsals with the girls in the morning, then a quick shoot in the afternoon. When you opened your phone to check your notifications, your mind was still half in choreography mode. Then your stomach dropped. “WHAT IS THIS?” Liz shouted from the couch, holding up her phone. You snatched your device. You were trending. Not just on X. Everywhere.

#Jungwon_IveDating Scandal

#AFTERLIKElyrics

#SMtraineepast

#DispatchIncoming

Your name was splattered across news outlets. Translated articles, fan compilations, and netizen breakdowns. What started as that harmless fan thread had exploded. Someone, a “superfan”, had taken it further. They didn’t just notice glances and smiles. No. They pulled receipts. A screen recording of your original Eleven lyric document showed the metadata with your initials and the date. Clips of Jungwon smiling during your parts in After Like. Even a grainy photo from a trainee dorm where someone had zoomed in until the pixels blurred, though it was clear that you and Jungwon were sitting across the table. Some were coincidences, fan theories, and delusions. Then, it got even worse.

A lyric analysis video broke down your lines in Eleven and After LIKE. People started putting clips together. Suddenly, everywhere, headlines were popping up:

• “IVE’s (Name) and Enhypen’s Jungwon Caught in Dating Scandal?”

• “Fans Detect Hidden Messages in AFTER LIKE and ELEVEN”

• “Old SM Trainee Photos Resurface Amid Scandal”

• “HYBE & Starship Yet to Comment”

It was chaos. Your manager stormed into the dorm. “No one posts. Don’t even breathe on Bubble.” You just sat on the couch, frozen. Wonyoung was pacing the room, muttering, “Oh my god oh my god oh my god-” Yujin looked at you carefully. “You okay?”

“I-” You weren’t. “I didn’t think… they’d do this-”

The door buzzed. Another staff member came in. “Everyone, stay calm. Starship’s preparing a statement.”

Your phone buzzed again. This time… a text.

Jungwon 🐱: didn’t want it to happen like this.

Jungwon 🐱: are you okay?

You stared at Jungwon’s message: You read it once. Then again. And again. Your hand was trembling. You didn’t reply.

“Is it true?” You looked up. Your manager was standing at the doorway. They were calm, but their tone was heavy. The room went still. Wonyoung sat down slowly. Everyone knew this wasn’t going to be a gentle conversation. “I asked you something.” Your manager stepped in. You felt everyone’s eyes on you.

You opened your mouth. “I-It wasn’t-We didn’t…” Your throat was dry. You couldn’t finish. The silence said enough. Your manager sighed and pinched the bridge of their nose. “Do you understand what you’ve done?” You didn’t speak. “Even if it was innocent,” they said, “even if it was just… feelings- you gave them something to find. And they found it. You know how this works.”

“I didn’t think they would dig that deep,” you whispered.

“Fans dig deeper than we ever expect. You knew that. You knew, and you still let it show. The glances, the lyrics, the-” They stopped themself. “You’ve seen what happened to idols before you.”

Your eyes were burning. You didn’t want to cry. Not here. Not now. “I’m sorry,” you choked out. “I didn’t mean for any of this-”

“Intentions don’t matter. Timing does. And right now, the timing’s a nightmare.”

Yujin stood up. “She didn’t break any rules.”

“I’m not here to fight,” the manager said. “I’m here to fix it. And we need to know what we’re dealing with.”

They sat across from you. “So. Tell me everything. Don’t lie.”

You wiped your eyes. “It started… before debut. SM trainee days. We weren’t even close.” you swallowed- “It was just a silly crush.” Your voice cracked. “And yeah… the songs were for him. I didn’t name him. I didn’t say anything. But I guess people saw through it.”

Your manager leaned back. “Okay.”

You looked up. “Okay?”

“I’m not saying this goes away. I’m saying now I know what we’re working with.” They stood. “Starship still wants to deny. Hybe will too. If it gets worse, someone will have to take the fall. Right now, it’s better that you disappear from public view for a while.”

Disappear. The word stung. But what else could you do? You nodded. Just then, your phone buzzed again. Another text from Jungwon.

Jungwon🐱: I know you’re being silenced. I’ll wait.

🎶

You weren’t crying. You weren’t laughing like you used to. It’s been like this for a while. The others noticed first during breakfast. You were always the one eager to eat breakfast. But this morning, your food was untouched. “Not hungry?” Leeseo asked as she tried to keep it casual. You just shook your head and pushed your rice around your plate. “Stomach’s weird,” you mumbled.

You weren’t even dating him. There were no rules broken. No labels. So why did it feel like you were going through a breakup? Your manager told you not to message Jungwon. He was told the same. The agency said it was for your protection. To avoid more rumors and to keep things clean.

So, you listened. But that didn’t stop the internet. You knew better than to scroll. You knew better. But still, you read them one by one. The posts. The tweets. The comments.

“She’s not even that pretty.”

“He can do better.”

“Of course, she’s the reason this happened.”

You bit your lip and scrolled further, until your vision blurred. Yujin was the first to notice. She walked in and saw the screen before it could lock it. “Hey,” she said gently, slipping your phone from your hand. “Stop reading those.” You didn’t argue. Leeseo appeared beside her, crouching beside your curled figure. “Don’t believe any of that, okay?” she whispered, brushing your hair back.

🎶

You were lying on the floor with your phone on your chest. Wonyoung peeked in from the doorway. “You’ve been here forever.” You stared blankly above. “It’s nice. Floor’s cold.”

She walked in and sat beside you. “I talked to Sunghoon.” Your eyes lit up. Your voice came out a little too fast. “What’d he say?”

She gave you a knowing smile. “Said Jungwon’s been quiet. He doesn’t say much, but Sunghoon saw him watching your old live the other day, and he watched the whole thing,” Wonyoung said. Your voice lowered. “I shouldn’t be this sad. We weren’t even…” You trailed off. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “But it still hurts, hm?”

You nodded. She didn’t say anything else. Just gently placed your phone on the nightstand and slid her hoodie over your head. “Sleep here tonight. We’ll let you be sad a little longer.”

🎶

You were sitting alone at the dorm’s kitchen table. The girls had gone out somewhere and said it was a “schedule thing,” but you didn’t bother asking. You weren’t in the mood anyway. You hadn’t even changed out of your hoodie. Your phone was face down on the table. You sighed. Then,

the front door opened. Sound of shuffling, laughter, and Plastic bags rustling.

“Yah, we got something!”

“I’m carrying everything, someone help me!”

“Unnie, seriously, I’m sweating-”

You didn’t bother lifting your head. “I’m not hungry,” you mumbled flatly.

“Hey.”

The voice wasn’t one of theirs. Slowly, you lifted your head. Your eyes widened. Jungwon was standing there with a soft smile and hair a little messy. Seems like he ran to get here. The girls all had stupid grins on their faces behind him. Liz popped her head around his shoulder and whispered dramatically, “Surprise…”

Rei added. “Don’t ask how we got him in. Just enjoy it before we all get scolded.” Your mouth parted, but no words came out. He walked closer. Then he pulled out the chair beside you and sat.“…Hi,” he said again, a little more shy this time.

“You came all the way here?” you asked, still trying to process.

“Mmhm.”

And before you could say anything else, someone coughed.

“We’re hungry, guys.’’

🎶

You sat side by side at the dining table, now crowded with takeout containers and drinks the girls brought home. Everyone was talking, laughing, and teasing each other. The usual chaotic noise of your group when food’s involved. Jungwon picked up a piece of chicken and held it toward your mouth. You said, confused. “What are you doing?”

He raised a brow. “Feeding you?”

Your face immediately heated. “Yah- stop that,” you said, leaning away, but your mouth was already forming a smile.

“Why?” he teased, still holding the piece near your lips. “You look tired. Let me baby you a little.”

You narrowed your eyes but eventually gave in, leaning forward and biting it. Wonyoung spotted it first and snorted. “Okayy~ that’s our cue. Let’s eat in the living room!”

“Huh?” you looked around.

But it was too late. The girls had already grabbed their bowls and started moving. Liz gave you a thumbs up while Yujin mouthed “GOOD LUCK” before disappearing behind the corner. You turned to Jungwon. “They’re evil.”

He smiled, chewing. “A little.”

You lowered your chopsticks and leaned in slightly, whispering, “Wait… does your manager even know you left?”

He chewed slowly, avoiding your gaze.

“Jungwon…”

“…Technically,” he said, “I left while he was looking for his car keys.”

Your jaw dropped. “WHAT?! Are you trying to get in trouble?”

He shrugged lightly, resting his elbow on the table and leaning his chin on his hand. “Maybe.”

“You could get scolded. Or worse.” You said with concern.

He finally looked at you. “And you’ve been miserable.”

Your lips parted, but no sound came out. You didn’t even know what to say to that. You hadn’t even said those words aloud to yourself. But somehow, he knew. You looked away. “We’re not even dating or anything,” you muttered. “I don’t even know why I’ve acted like this.”

He gently nudged your elbow with his. “I don’t either,” he said quietly. “But I hated not seeing you. Not even saying anything.”

“And honestly…” he added, picking up another piece of chicken, “I don’t regret it.”

Before you could scold him again, he held it up toward your mouth like earlier. You looked to him. “Are you serious right now?”

He just smiled. “Come on. One bite. Then you can scold me all you want.” You fought the smile tugging at your lips. You bit the chicken, cheeks warm again. And this time, you didn’t protest when he wiped a smudge of sauce near the corner of your lip with his thumb.

🎶

After dinner, the members cleared the dishes with suspicious speed. “Okay, we’re gonna watch something in the room,” one of them said, already ushering the others away like it was pre-planned.

You raised a brow. “Since when have you all watched anything together?”

“We do now,” they sang in unison as they disappeared into the hallway, leaving you and Jungwon in the living room alone. You sat on the couch, hugging a pillow, and Jungwon flopped next to you with a contented sigh. He leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. “Your members are… something else.”

“They’ve been babying me since… you know.”

“I can tell.” He glanced sideways at you. “They’re protective.”

You smiled faintly. “I guess I’ve been a bit of a mess.”

“You weren’t a mess.”

“I kind of was.”

He nudged your foot with his. “You just missed me.”

You looked at him. “You’re bold all of a sudden.”

He gave you that quiet, closed-mouth grin. “I’ve had a lot of time to think,” he said softly. “About why I cared so much.”

Finally, you chuckled under your breath to ease the tension. “You know you’re in trouble once your manager finds out.”

“I’ll say I got kidnapped,” he teased. “By a certain girl group.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re going to blame us?”

“Only you.”

You swatted his arm with the pillow, and he laughed.

“Can I ask you something?”

You looked at him, the playfulness gone from his face now. “What?”

He hesitated. “All those comments… the rumors. The ones saying the lyrics were about me.” He glanced down, as if bracing for the answer. “Was it true?”

You lowered your head. “Some weren’t true…” Your voice came out small.

“But… mostly?” he asked, gently, already suspecting.

You nodded slowly. “Mostly… it was true.”

He stayed quiet.

“I liked you,” you whispered. “Back then, and maybe… maybe I still do. I just- I never thought it mattered.” He didn’t say anything. You kept going, the tears now welling up in your eyes. “And now, because of me, you got dragged into all this mess. You got hate. People are calling you names. Saying things about you that aren’t true. I didn’t mean to- I swear I never wanted this to happen to you.” Your breath shook. You brought your hands to your face, finally breaking. “I’m so sorry,” you cried. “I’m so, so sorry, Jungwon.”

He stared at you, frozen for a moment at the sight of the tears soaking your sleeves as you broke down beside him. His heart twisted at how hard you tried not to sob too loudly. Quietly, he reached for you. He moved the pillow away and gently pulled you into his chest. His arms wrapped around you, his chin resting lightly on your head. “Don’t cry like that,” he murmured. “Please don’t cry like that.”

You leaned against him, unable to stop. The weeks of silence, the pain, the guilt. All of it poured out at once. And he just held you. “I was never angry at you,” he said softly. “Not even once.” You looked up at him, eyes puffy and red. He met your gaze. “If I had known you felt that way… maybe we would’ve been close sooner. Maybe everything would’ve been different.”

“But even now,” he added, wiping a tear from your cheek with his thumb, “I’m still glad I know now.”

You were still sniffling against his chest when he chuckled.

“I had a crush on you, too,” Jungwon murmured.

Your breath hitched, and you slowly leaned back from his embrace to look at him. “What?”

He smiled shyly this time. “Back when we were trainees. I thought you were the prettiest, quietest person I’d ever met. But you never really talked to anyone… and I figured someone like me wasn’t really on your radar.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m not.” He chuckled softly, eyes over your face as if memorizing every part now that he was finally allowed to be this close. “I used to get so nervous when I was near you. If you even said hi, I’d replay it all day.”

Your face was warm with tears, but you couldn’t help the slight grin forming on your lips. “Wait, so you’re saying… we could’ve been something?” you joked.

He burst into laughter. “Wow, could’ve been?”

You playfully nudged his arm, even as your eyes glistened. “I’m just saying! All that wasted time!”

Jungwon smiled at you, then reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Maybe it wasn’t wasted. Maybe we just needed to grow first. Or maybe we were both too stupid to notice.”

And then you said softly, “I think I still like you.”

“I like you too,” he replied. “Still.”

Then, after a moment, he glanced down at his fingers. “You know,” he started, voice lighter now, “we could still be something.”

Your eyes met his. You let out a soft laugh under your breath, brushing your tears away with your sleeve. “Are you saying that now? After all these years?”

He shrugged. “Maybe I’m just braver now.”

You smiled. “Then maybe I’ll be brave too.”

🎶

Time passed. The scandal faded, though not erased, and was pushed aside by newer, flashier controversies. People moved on. The worst of the noise died down. Your companies… didn’t exactly approve, but they stopped fighting it. No more forced separations. No more last-minute schedule edits to keep you apart.

You still weren’t allowed to be seen together. But there was space. Space to breathe. To exist. And somehow, space for you two to become… something.

And yeah, you two are dating now

hihi 𓁹‿𓁹

🎶

Jungwon was in his room, sprawled on his bed with his phone above his face. His notifications were boring. Practice updates. A reminder to stretch. A half-dead group chat with Ni-ki sending a cursed meme from 2019. He sighed. Thumb hovered over your name again. He missed you. Always did, lately.

There was a soft knock. He sat up, confused. “Sunoo?” No answer. Then the door cracked open. His heart almost jumped out of his chest. Standing there, barely recognizable, was a girl in huge glasses and a face mask pulled up to her eyes. Still, he knew. “…baby?” he whispered.

You tugged the mask down and grinned. “Hi.”

“Wait- what-how-” he stood, frozen, eyes wide.

You just giggled, and that was it. He crossed the room in seconds and wrapped his arms around you, lifting you off the floor. His kisses landed everywhere. Your cheeks, your forehead, even your nose, whispered “I missed you.”

“I wanted to see you,” you whispered as he gently set you down.

He was still stunned. “How did you even-?”

“Your members,” you grinned, brushing his hair from his face. “They’re surprisingly easy to bribe with banana milk and instant ramen.”

Jungwon let out a breathy laugh. “I can’t believe they actually-”

You stood on your toes and pecked his lips. “Told you I’d visit someday.”

He hugged you again.

“I haven’t moved on from it, by the way,” he said. You looked at him, brows slightly furrowed. He gave a small smile. “The fact that someone like you had me in mind when writing those songs. It still gets me sometimes.”

You felt your cheeks heat. “Don’t worry,” you said softly, turning your gaze back to the ceiling. “I might’ve been writing again.”

“Yeah?” he asked.

You gave him a shrug like it was no big deal, even though it was.

“Yeah.”

He didn’t say anything for a second. Then he grinned. “Should I be nervous?”

You looked at him, this boy who made everything feel like home. “Maybe.”

And just like that, he was in love all over again.

[anti-transphobia]

What it's like being a narcissist in a group chat with other narcissists

[simp-ly-writes]

Chocolate Chip Cookies

─────── · · A Smosh / Mythical Kitchen Fanfic

Pairing: Trevor Evarts x short!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: You are Trevor can't be trusted anywhere with one another, so during one of the few occasions you are allowed to film together- you both decide to make the most of it.

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, light swearing, mutual pining, friends/lovers, play fighting, Ian/Anthnoy/Rhett/Link are all "dads". small reference to the comments section

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 1,477

─ · · A/N: I fully support Trevors IRL relationships, this is fully fictional and meant for entertainment purposes! Man I am craving cookies after writing this. Smosh asks are now open!

─────── · ·

"Hey guys!" you call towards the camera, smiling widely while doing your best to ignore the tall man beside you leaning into your personal space.

"Hey guys!" Trevor mocks your voice before turning around to laugh as you punch his back. The camera cuts to you both standing beside one another, hands purposefully clasped in front as to not touch one another. You both had just been told off by the crew who were growing more annoyed with you two.

Yes, you both pulled many views being on camera together and held the best chemistry of anyone in the cast besides Spencer and his... best friend. But your ability to actually work beside one another was little to none, and your bosses knew this.

"Mine and (name)'s dads have finally allowed them to come over and play in the kitchen with me here at Mythical-" Trevor begins to say before you conclude his sentence.

"Thank you Ian and Anthony and Rhett and Link!" you speak sweetly into the camera, batting your eyelashes for extra effect. "-So as I was saying before being ever so rudely interrupted," Trevor looks down at you, eyes crinkling as you send him a playful glare, leaning into his side. "-we are going up against one another to see who can make the better dish. Josh will be coming in later to blind taste test and determine the winner of todays competition, you ready?"

Trevor asks you, rubbing the side of your arm. "I'm ready to kick you ass!" you declare, breaking away from his touch to move to your side of the kitchen as he does the same. A crew member begins to count off camera as you bounce in your spot, adrenaline pumping through your ears at the sound of one you are darting off. You pray that Trevor does not have the same ideas as you but as he moves to the fridge the same time at you, spreading out his arms to block your view as you slip underneath them and stand proudly in front, reaching in for your chilling dough.

He grabs a very similar looking one, allowing you to sneak back under before moving to his own station and as you both turn to your respective cameras to announce, you are shocked to find your answer echoing. "Today, I will be making my favorite cookies, the best kind of cookies- chocolate chip..."

"Fuck off, you're not," you voice out, pointing your spatula at him with ferociousness. Trevor puts his hands up before smirking and leaning down to look you in the eyes, "Well I am," be begins childishly as you roll eyes towards the camera. "But we will just have to see who makes the better one's now."

You refuse to look back at him as you grab an ice cream scooper from one of the drawers before showing the camera, "tip here: I recommend using this guy to get the perfect serving amount to place on your baking tray. Work smarter not harder-"

"That was cringe," Trevor yells from across the kitchen, you are confused as to how he heard you over the two mixing bowls he has running in the background. "Your bandana is cringe, never had the heart to tell you before," you retort back before smiling at the camera, trying to keep your 'good-child' persona on.

"From what I remember, you said you liked it quite a bit before we starting rolling," he voices, coming around your table and stealing a bit from your dough as you grumble your protest. Smacking his hand away when he goes in for seconds, "you're making your own cookies, remember?"

"But your's taste really good," Trevor says, now emptying his stand mixers as he preps his own trays flowing with memorized precision around the kitchen. You get lost in watching him work, spilling around, towel over his shoulder as he casts you a wink. You blush, flipping him off before sending your tray into the oven. Waving the camera crew over to get a shot of the temperature and times you recommend before going to clean your station.

─────── · ·

You were doing laps around the kitchen and set, trying to find where they kept the serving plates. Growing increasingly frustrated you walked into Trevors side of the kitchen, while grabbing a bite of his leftover dough and asked, "Where do you keep the plates? I can't find them in any of the cupboards..."

"Oh, they are on the top shelf," he moves to show you towards the cabinet. "Why would you guys keep plates on the top shelf?" You question as Trevor keeps his back to you, people behind the camera snicker as your raised eyebrows find the truth in his flushed ears.

"You hid them up there on purpose!" you gasp, hand clutching the false pearls on your chest as he brings the options down for you, leaning against the counter with nonchalance. "Well any excuse for more time filming with you," he hopes to soften your reaction with his comment as you shake your head at him. Holding your lip in from making a reply as you pick your plate and follow Trevor back to the oven as he takes out both of your baked goods.

You look at the two batches side by side curiously. Taking in the added rise in Trevor as yours have spread much wider. Both look mouthwatering as you are tempted to steal one of his and by the growing small smile on his face, he is thinking the same thing.

Reaching over and taking a bite out of one another, you both wave your mouths, dropping the cookies on the counter. "Hot, hot, fuck those are hot!" A staff member comes over, rushing with your water bottles.

After burning your mouths off you both hold each other and laugh, hands gripping aprons before you both move on to plating. You crumble some extra chocolate chunks on the plate with some sea salt chunks before stepping back with a smile, hands raised.

Trevor stands in the same position, "How did you think you did?" Still feeling as completive as ever, you watch both of your plates get carried away to get some close up shots before answering, "I am hopeful to win, but yours did taste incredible. Kinda wished I used the mixture of chocolates that you did instead of the one."

He hums out, nodding along to your reply before you both stand behind Josh as he introduces the judging segment. You grip Trevors hand in waiting, shaking it excitedly as you both score highly.

"It appears you both had fun in the kitchen with one another, in all honesty I was surprised to see the place still standing knowing your history with one another," Josh begins, you imagine the music in the editing later to be getting more dramatic now as the lights in the studio dim.

"Did you really have that little faith in us?" Trevor questions back, Josh twists over the bench to look at you both, returning the mock hurtful look you send him with an equal glare. "Well, this is the first time either of you were allowed in the kitchen without a babysitter and by the mess of your aprons- we should have had another person on the call sheet but nevertheless, we are here for these cookies today. So todays winner is..."

You and Trevor lean down, preparing for the answer and Josh proudly calls out your name, "congratulations!"

You scream, jumping up and down, Trevors hand still in your own as he pulls you into a celebratory hug that you return, giggling happily into his chest as Josh does the outro for you both. The whole studio is clapping, also celebrating the last shooting for the week as you turn to find your office dads waiting. They each send you a pair of thumbs up as the cameras cut and you walk over to them.

"So does this mean me and Trevor can hang out more often?" you ask, looking up at Trevor with hopeful eyes as he nods his head, looking between all four owners. All everyone can do is sigh, exhausted by the seemingly endless energy you and Trevor have when one another are in the room, rolling off each over.

"We will have to check with both of your schedules but... its a yes from our side," Rhett sighs, looking over at Ian who nods his head in a agreement, fixing his glasses. "Yup, but maybe we can double up on some more Mythical Kitchen shoots of you both since you both are still banned from being on Smosh together after breaking that couch..."

"and that lighting panel," Anthony adds before Link steps in to conclude, "You know, I rather like their energy together..."

"-oh god."

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: the smosh fics just keep flowing from my brain.

─ · · TAGLIST: @lisiliely

[burnednotburied]

Chapter 6: A Dagger In One Hand

AO3 Link | Masterlist

Pairing: Abby Anderson x fem!reader

Fic Synopsis: Abby goes looking for Owen and ends up on the wrong end of your knife.

Tags/CWs: angst; slowburn; mutual pining; enemies to friends to lovers; talks of purity culture/ideals and “sin”; internalized homophobia and some comp-het feelings (they’re both so gay but so dumb about it); animosity between WLF and Seraphites; blood/gore; descriptions of being hanged; religious/cult-like ideas

Note: I'm really sorry for how long it took for me to write this chapter. Life's been a bitch lately. Keeps kicking me while I'm down, so to speak.

Someone asked about a taglist, so I'm starting one! Please comment if you want to be added :)

----------------------------------------------------------------

Abby fell asleep surrounded by Scars but woke up alone.

She sat up, blinking away the stubborn remnants of her dreams. Images of her father, alive, and simpler times.

Sunlight shone in from nearby windows, indicating that it was probably already late morning, if not early afternoon, meaning that she’d slept much later than she’d meant to. Much later than she normally would.

But the last couple of days had been anything but normal.

The sound of voices in the hallway brought Abby to her feet and out the door.

Lev and Yara stood just down that hall, arguing, their voices low and insistent.

“Even if you make it, she’s not going to come with you,” Yara said.

“I can convince her.”

“We broke the rules, Lev! That’s all she’ll care about!”

Abby didn’t know who or what they were talking about, and she wasn’t nearly awake enough to begin to decipher it. Behind her, a door opened, across the hall from the room she’d come from.

“Abby?”

Your voice was quiet. Almost surprised. Like you hadn’t expected to see her standing there.

She shivered, as if you’d touched her.

She wished you would touch her.

Jesus. She really needed to get her thoughts in check.

She turned to face you.

You smiled, a stark contrast to the tense words being exchanged just around the corner. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Abby might have just woken up, but she could’ve sworn there was a halo of light surrounding you.

Maybe she was still dreaming.

Her too-recently-conscious eyes could only take in one thing at a time. First, your eyes. She was stuck there for a while. Probably much longer than what was socially acceptable. You had beautiful eyes.

Then, your mouth. Lips still slightly upturned in a warm smile. She wanted to know if you greeted everyone like this. If that smile was a common sight to those around you or if it was just for her. She couldn’t imagine she’d done anything to deserve special treatment from you, but looking at you smiling at her felt like a gift. One that she couldn’t possibly have earned.

It was at that moment that Abby remembered that she was looking at the Seraphite Prophet.

Isaac had warned her about you just over forty-eight hours ago. He’d said that the greatest threat you posed was in your ability to win people over, earning their loyalty even at the cost of their own morals. Their life-long allegiances. Their people. 

She understood now why you had been chosen to be the new Prophet. There was something about you that drew people in – had them letting their guard down – with or without all of the Seraphite brainwashing. 

Hell, Abby met you two days ago and she was already prepared to leave the certainty and security of the Washington Liberation Front to follow you wherever you wanted to go.

There was something magic about you. You must have a similar effect on everybody.

Abby was momentarily relieved, feeling like she’d solved an equation. She wasn’t losing her mind. (At least not any more than anyone else around you was.) This wasn’t her fault. It was yours.

Even as she thought it, it sounded stupid to her. But the only alternative was that these thoughts and feelings were uniquely, inherently her own. And that could only lead to the hope that you might feel the same way about her. 

She finally managed to pull her eyes away from your face and noticed that you were carrying a small, neatly folded pile of clothes. 

“Mel gave these to me,” you said, following her gaze. “She said that they don’t really fit her anymore.” Abby only blinked at you incredulously, not understanding. If she hadn’t just woken up, she would’ve known what you meant. “You know. Because of the–” You trailed off, using your hand to make an arching motion over your own stomach, as if to represent a pregnant belly. “–the baby.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Abby looked away, running a hand absently over her braided hair. “Makes sense. That was… nice of her.”

You nodded, falling quiet as Lev and Yara’s voices grew louder just around the corner, the two of them still arguing.

“I can’t believe she’s on her feet already,” Abby said after a minute.

Your worried look gave way to another small smile. “Yes, well, Yara’s always been tough.” 

There was so much that Abby didn’t know about you. And Yara and Lev. And about your history together. She’d been picking up on bits and pieces of it, especially yesterday with Lev. It had taken some time, but he definitely started opening up to her as they traveled to and from the hospital.

He had even turned things around on Abby and asked what was going on between you and her. And he seemed to find it funny when she got flustered and dodged the question entirely. 

But you had not been such an open book. And Abby wanted to know more. She wanted to know everything. 

She just didn’t know where to start.

“What are they fighting about?” she asked instead. 

“Lev is worried about their mother,” you explained, just loud enough for Abby to hear. “About what’ll happen to her because of them.”

“Should he be worried?” she asked.

“He needs to focus on his own safety right now.” 

“What could happen to her?” If she had to guess based on what she knew about the Seraphites, it couldn’t be good.

You looked away. “Sometimes parents are held responsible for their children’s sins. But their mom is so devout that she’ll probably be fine.”

“Are there options? For helping her?”

You frowned. “Lev wants to go back to the island to get her. But he would never be able to convince her to leave. I’m not even sure that I could, and I’m–”

“The Prophet?” Abby finished.

You moved on without acknowledging that truth. “Yara and I are more worried about what she might do to him.” Before she could think of a response to any of that, you looked back at her, shaking your head like you were shaking those thoughts away. “They’ll work it out. Lev’s not unreasonable.”

“He’s a kid,” she said frankly. “I’m not an expert, but aren’t kids supposed to be hard to reason with, especially when they’re emotional?”

“He’s a Seraphite,” you corrected her. “Seraphites are never really kids.”

Again, Abby felt the urge to ask you to explain, to tell her more about what you meant by that. 

“I could use your help with something–” you said, hesitant, “–if you wouldn’t mind. I would ask Yara, but she’s occupied. And she’s also down one arm.”

“Yeah,” Abby said, sincere and probably far too eager. “Of course. What do you need?”

You smiled gratefully and gestured for her to go back into the room where you had all slept. She followed without question, shutting the door behind her. 

“It’s kind of embarrassing.” The look on your face told her that you wouldn’t be asking if you didn’t have to. “It’s this dress,” you said. “It isn’t meant for me to be able to take it off myself. One or two of my attendants would always have to help.” And then you turned, just enough to draw Abby’s attention to the back of the dress, where there was an admittedly overly complicated looking corset thing going on. It looked cool, but yeah, she could see how it would be difficult, if not impossible, for you to undo it by yourself.

“They might as well have sewn me into it,” you added, doing your best to look at it over your shoulder. Then you turned back to face her. 

She took a beat before she found her voice. “You have attendants? Like maids?”

You shot her an exasperated look. “I had attendants. But they are on the island and I am here, and it’d be really great if someone would help me get out of this thing once and for all.”

“Yeah yeah, I got it,” Abby said, smiling now. “Turn back around.”

You sighed but did as you were told, tossing the pile of clean clothes on the couch for the sole purpose of being able to cross your arms over your chest. Abby chuckled, surprised but amused by your sudden attitude. 

She stepped up behind you, taking a closer look at the fabric contraption that had you trapped in this dress. It suddenly occurred to her that, in order to help you with this problem, she would have to get very close to you… And that she’d have to touch you… And that this would inevitably end with you taking off your clothes. Hell, she was (technically speaking) the one who would be undressing you.

She cleared her throat and tried – not for the first time that day and probably not for the last – to get her thoughts under control. You weren’t coming on to her. You just needed help. You probably would’ve been just as likely to ask Mel to do this. 

Abby shifted on her feet behind you, lifting her hands to start what was sure to be a very long untangling process, but she paused before actually touching the fabric that hugged your back. “Can I…?” she asked. It felt important to have your permission before she touched you. 

“Hmm?” you hummed, glancing over your shoulder before you realized what she meant. “Oh. Yes. Please.”

A thrill shot through her at the sound of you responding to her request to touch you with please.

God, there had to be something wrong with her.

No one – genuinely not one single other person in her whole life – had ever had this effect on her. 

She got to work on the dress, trying to convince her stupid, horny mind that the ribbons and fabrics beneath her fingers were not, in fact, attached to your body. She was unsuccessful.

“Jesus, they really did not want you getting out of this thing,” she huffed. “What? Was trapping you in your clothes their way of keeping you chaste?”

Since when did she say shit like chaste? It did sound like some bullshit the Seraphites would do though.

To her surprise, you laughed. “I think the idea was more likely to keep me dependent on others. Trapped both physically and mentally, you know? … It’s a dress, Abby. You don’t exactly have to take it off to have sex.”

Abby’s fingers stilled, her eyes went wide, and her face warmed. And she was glad you were facing the other way so you didn’t see any of it.

She changed the subject before she did anything stupid, like ask you literally anything else about that subject. “So… have you always worn this dress?”

It was a stupid question, but it’s the first thing she could come up with under these conditions.

“This exact dress, no,” you said. She could tell from your voice that you were smiling, and she couldn’t be sure but she thought you might be teasing her. “But some version of it, yes. Since the day I turned twelve. New ones were made for me as I grew and if they tore or got dirty, but it was always something like this.” You paused for a few seconds before going on. “It’s strange. I haven’t worn pants in eight years. I’m kind of excited.”

Abby couldn’t imagine being excited to wear Mel’s hand-me-down pants. But she also hadn’t been forced to wear the same virtually inescapable dress for nearly a decade. The thought alone made her chest feel tight. 

She had made a small amount of progress with the dress, but not as much as she would have wanted, and she was getting frustrated with the whole thing. She yanked on something that she thought would loosen it, but ended up making it much tighter. You let out a sharp hiss.

“Sorry,” Abby said quickly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do tha–”

“Do you want to just cut it off of me?” you asked, spinning around to face her again, clearly even more eager and annoyed than she was. 

“Umm.” Abby thought her brain might be shutting down entirely. “Yeah. I can do that. If you’re sure you’re not gonna want to wear it again.”

“I’m not going to want to wear it again,” you confirmed.

Neither of you had taken a step back when you turned around, which left very little space between you. Something that Abby was painfully aware of.

“Okay,” she said, voice low. “Then I guess I’m cutting you out of the dress.” But she didn’t move from where she stood, just a breath away from you.

You were the first to move, walking over to where you had all dropped your stuff yesterday and returning with your dagger. 

“Here.” Face unreadable, you offered the deadly blade to Abby handle-first. She took it as you spun back around.

She gripped the dagger’s hilt in her hand tightly. The trust that you must’ve had in her, to hand over your weapon and willingly turn your back to her… It made her feel brave.

Or maybe she had bravery and stupidity mixed up.

Abby began carefully cutting through the same ribbons that she’d previously been attempting to untie.

“Are there rules,” she asked, trying to sound nonchalant, “about abstaining from sex? I’ve read about a few Old World religions that were strict about that.” 

You were entirely unfazed by the question. “Seraphites have rules for everything. Some of them always made sense to me. But most of them are ridiculous. Meant only to ensure that our Elders are able to maintain complete control.” 

The top of the dress loosened and began to sag as Abby continued to slice through the offending constraints, until it was only held up by the straps. She had done enough for you to be able to easily get out of it. If you were to let those straps fall from your shoulders, the whole thing would fall to the floor, gathering at your feet. 

She looked away from the smooth expanse of skin in front of her and tried to force that image out of her mind. 

“Should be able to get it off now,” she said, deciding that it would actually be better for her to take several steps away. 

An earnest ‘thank you’ came from your lips as you grabbed the new clothes from the couch. You didn’t ask her to turn around, but she did anyway. And she was decidedly not thinking about what was going on behind her.

“To answer your question from before,” you began as you got dressed. “Yes, there are rules about that, but they’re wildly unimaginative. We are not permitted to be alone with someone of the opposite sex – outside of our family members – until a spouse is chosen for us. At which point, that person becomes a family member. So technically, we’re never allowed to be alone with someone of the opposite sex.”

“That sucks,” she threw out, not knowing what else to say as she stared at a random stain on the wall and forced herself to wonder how it might’ve gotten there.

“Probably. For most people. But I never really had a problem with it.” Your voice was much closer now, just behind her.

“Why not?” Abby’s question of if it was safe to turn around yet was answered with the light touch of your fingers against her wrist, trailing down to meet the dagger still grasped in her palm. She relinquished the knife to you, letting her hand linger against yours as she turned to face you, taking it all in.

You were, indeed, wearing pants. And also a shirt. And they both fit you pretty well.

And you were beautiful. There was always that.

You passed the dagger from your right hand to your left, and the look of determination on your face was nearly the same as it was moments after she first saw you. When Abby was hanging by her throat and you were going to kill her. Only this time the feeling coursing through her body wasn’t fear. It was anticipation. 

Whatever you were planning to do next, she wanted it. 

“Why not?” Abby had asked a minute ago.

“Because I’ve never had any interest in the opposite sex,” you answered as your right hand found its place against her jaw.

Time slowed as you stood there for a moment, holding a dagger in one hand and Abby’s face in the other. 

She thought you might kiss her. She was hoping you’d kiss her.

And then the door flung open and your hand fell to your side.

Yara was crying or yelling or both, and it took Abby way too long to process the words she was saying.

“Lev’s gone! He took a boat! He’s going back to the island!”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Note: This chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but it felt good to end it here for now. Also, I want you to know that I'm dedicated to finishing this fic, and I know exactly where I want to go with it, so expect more updates soon!

Taglist: @h0meb0dyi @lmaoo-spiderman @quinnsadilla @rew1nds @sapphicontherun

[florestalio]

hi...

i have been meaning to make this post for a while. by 'a while', i mean months. maybe two. maybe three. maybe four. i lost count.

thing is, i lost motivation a long time ago. last year actually. i had an account before this (for the mutuals who had figured out my previous account, i'm talking about another account before that, where i wrote and posted a lot of fics in a very short time). i had deactivated that account around two months after i had opened it. it wasn't like i had a bad traction on my fics. they would usually get around 800-1000 notes within a week or so.

thing is, i would post fics on that account often. too often. sometimes i would post two fics per week. which, quite naturally caused me to feel completely burnt out in just two months.

i had impulsively made a decision to deactivate on that account. which i still regret till this day. on that account, i had a completely different identity, so please don't try to connect me to any previously deactivated account. i wasn't a very well known account either, so i doubt anyone would know my previous account.

i opened another account a month or to before i opened this one. didn't post any stories, but gained a few writer mutuals. before i deactivated that one too to focus on my studies.

which led me to open this account. it was fun at first. i published a fic, gained quite a lot of traction on it for a new account, gained a bunch of lovely mutuals who i can proudly call my friends today. it was great, everything i wanted, but better.

but... the entire reason i ever opened any blogs on this app was because of my love and passion for writing. but somehow, that flame of passion is flickering. it's dying. slowly, but steadily.

no matter what i try—by reading more, forcing myself to write, watching movies—nothing, absolutely nothing is helping.

you know that feeling when you think you can do something? or you know you can do it—for whatever reason it maybe, you simply cannot bring yourself to do it? it's similar to how i feel towards writing. i can force myself to write, i definitely can do that. but it's not the same as actually wanting to do it of my own accord.

this entire mindset of mine has reflected into my writing. i know some of you love certain works of mine, but i loathe them. absolutely abhor them from the bottom of my heart. yes, even the reader favourite 'fatal obsession'. till this date i have no idea why you guys liked it so much.

if anyone made it so far into this stupid monolouge of mine, congratulations, you're a very patient person. i truly admire your tenacity.

perhaps i have yapped too much. i'll come to the point now. i'm closing this account. is it forever? who knows? i may come back, if that passion for writing ever comes back. which may be never. i know, i had promised two long fics, but if i try to continue writing them, they will turn out terrible. absolute abominations, worse than even those cringe bts oneshots available on youtube. which is... saying something.

special thanks to (i'm really sorry for tagging you guys unnecessarily on this long ass yapping session of mine) my lovely friends who had made my stay on this account extremely enjoyable: @senazzzz @livthelobster @blueberrybeomgyu @heeambi @dollyyun @cunty4hee @cunty4riki

signing off, angel

nav.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 18 . Heterogeneity (3)

a/n: my fav chapter is the one after this hehe, but y'all have to wait until wednesday (unless you're reading this after I already uploaded it lol)

tags: overprotective people around reader, sick reader, fluff overall

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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_____ thought their headaches and worry would end when Cale woke up after 15 days. The healer is used to the rigorous schedule the commander has whenever he wakes up after fainting. Understand that there’s a lot to catch up on, especially this time since Cale was gone for so long.

Everything had been smooth sailing. There are still a lot of things to do at Mogoru but Jack and the others can handle it. 

Finding the Mercenary King was also easy. In fact, he was the one who showed himself in their inn. Making a deal with him was even easier. As well as getting to the Wind Island. 

“Uhm so you’re telling me the owner of my ancient power is not supposed to talk to me and tell me the race of every single being I encounter?”

“...At least yours don’t have full-blown conversations about bread with you.”

Well, there’s a discovery that Cale and _____ are odd. Apparently, you’re not supposed to hear voices when you have an ancient power…

But aside from that everything else is smooth sailing.

Things started going south when Cale entered Wind Island alone.

Day 1:

Everyone is relaxed albeit a little worried for the young master. However, everyone trusts that he will be fine as he always has been.

Day 2:

Same as yesterday. Everyone is doing their own thing while waiting for the young master. However, _____ thinks that the group is doting on them more than they used to. They aren’t sure though.

Day 3:

Cale is supposed to go back, but there’s not a single sign of him yet. This made everyone in the group tense. Nonetheless, all they can do is wait.

Day 5:

The ambience in the boat has become scary. Not surprising as Cale is 2 days late now. Everyone is still sweet in front of _____. In fact, they have definitely become more doting and protective towards the healer. 

Like they can’t even take a single step forward without someone trying to assist them or asking what they need. At first, it confused _____, but they figured they were probably acting that way because of Cale’s absence.

However, that’s just towards _____.

They are so snappy with Bud. The poor man can’t even take a single breath without being told off. The only time he isn’t getting scolded is when _____ is talking to him.

So _____ took this chance to get acquainted with the Mercenary King. The healer explained to the man how everyone was just on edge because they were worried about the young master.

Day 7:

It’s been 4 days since Cale was supposed to come back. Everyone had decided that if he still didn’t come back in a few hours then they would go to the island.

“Not _____-nim. Please stay here in the boat where it is safe. I promise to come back and bring back Cale-nim”

At this point _____ is used to the group coddling them. They figured it’d either end or dwindle once Cale came back. So they just let everyone be.

Meanwhile, the healer and Bud got acquainted pretty well. It helps that their abilities are similar to each other. Talking to each other is also mutually beneficial to the two. Bud gets to talk to the only person who’s not inherently vicious in the boat. While _____ gets a distraction from the abundance of worry they are feeling.

“I have to ask Medicus-nim, what’s you’re relationship with Cale?”

Bud once tried calling the healer by their first name… never again. The looks he got from everyone were not worth it.

Names aside, the mercenary king is curious about the relationship of the two. In his opinion, _____ is the most protected after Cale. There’s gotta be a reason why that is.

“Me and the young master are friends. However, I am technically working under his orders right now.”

It doesn’t look like that to Bud but sure.

In addition to that, the blue-haired man doesn’t miss the way everyone else softens while _____ is speaking about their relationship. Something is going on that these two young masters don’t know.

However, Bud doesn’t pry. Instead, he lets the conversation die there and opts to wait for Cale silently.

Sure enough, the redhead prevails as he always does.

He came out just before the group was about to attack the island. As soon as he got out he purified the island before desperately eating apple pies like his life depended on it.

“...Cale, you do know that you’re still going to faint right?”

_____ is currently beside Cale thanks to Raon’s floating spell. 

The man in question just ignored the healer and continued gobbling the pie.

“If you don’t stop eating you’re gonna faint with a soggy apple pie in your mouth.”

Munch

Munch

Cale continued ignoring _____.

“Everyone, the young master is going to faint with an apple pie in

3…

2…

1”

True enough Cale fainted like a machinery out of mana after _____’s countdown.

Meanwhile, the healer who’s borderline making fun of Cale could be seen giggling.

Bud doesn’t know why and his afraid Ron and Eruhaben are going to kill him if he asks.

Their way back to Bud’s hometown was quiet. Everyone seemed accustomed to this and already knew what to do with Ron leading everyone.

All of them got to work as soon as Cale was resting on a bed. 

Well almost everyone.

When _____ tried to go out to help Beacrox, Eruhaben just used his mana to steer the healer back into the room. Once the healer was back in, Ron wrapped a blanket around them before guiding them to a comfy couch that had been moved beside Cale’s bed[1].

“Wait I want to help too–”

Ron ignored the healer as if they didn’t even say anything.

“A bed big enough to fit the two of you would be better but this couch would also suffice.”

“Why am I lying down too? I didn’t even use my powers–”

At that moment the children spoke up.

“Lemonade gramps, I think kind _____ forgot that their body is weak!”

“That’s true nya! It also looks like they forgot they’re still healing!”

“Go lie down nya.”

It took _____ a moment to realise what the three were talking about.

“Are you guys talking about what happened in the Caro Kingdom? That’s like a month ago. That wound is all healed up.”

“Yes it has been a month since then but your healing journey has been stunted since you used your powers while we were at the Empire. In addition to that the sea breeze is cold. It’s not good for your weak body.”

“But Eruhaben-nim I’m really okay–”

All it took was one exasperated stare from Eruhaben to make the healer clam up and lie down on the spacious couch. After they did the golden dragon sighed as if he had just dealt with a toddler throwing a tantrum.

True enough _____ developed a fever just a few hours after that. Their body couldn’t handle both the weather and the stress so it decided to break down the moment the healer got to relax. Good thing the group was already expecting this and has prepared everything a sick person would have needed.

At some point _____ tried to argue that maybe they’ll get the kids sick. So they should just let the healer recover in another room and maybe check on them from time to time. However, the children averaging 9 years old retaliated by putting on masks and casting a shield. (A bit overboard in _____’s opinion but when has not Raon been overboard.)

Just like that the two young masters slept for three days.

If on one of those days Cale’s hand twitched and placed itself on top of _____’s hand, then no one said a word.

And if they see Cale continue to hold _____’s hand after he woke up first? No, they didn’t.

[1] if you can't visualize it, just imagine a big couch that's the same height as the bed and then it's side-by-side so the couch kind of looks like an extension of the bed. basically the two + the children are all sleeping beside one another lol

[strangerthingsfanworkrecs]

Can I recommend somnambulic-thing? They write fics, do art and edits, and even work on creating events for the fandom. They run the Stranger Things x OC blog and community to try and help OC writers find a home, and it's really helped me feel more confident in my storytelling knowing that I'm not alone in writing an OC.

Artist Highlight: Somnambulic-thing

This week, we're highlighting @somnambulic-thing! All recs tagged #somnambulic-thing will be for their work, both fic and arts.

They answered some questions about their running their OC blog and works under the cut!

Why stranger things?

I have been obsessed with Stephen King’s work since I was around 18 and when in 2016 a good friend told me there was currently a show that was like a smoothie of different King novels, and a tasty one at that, I had to check it out and I was hooked immediately. (I have this little headcanon that the ST world is part of the Stephen King multiverse, which every King book is part of, but I digress.) But it wasn’t until after season four that I started seeking out ST fandom spaces, eventually letting the ideas out of my head by creating my own fanworks, too.

Is there a character or aspect of the show that you like to create for?

My puppet of choice is that Munson boy. The moment he got onto that table, I knew that this little shit head would be very special to me and it turned out that everything about his story and how it weaves into the overall story was deeply personal to me on many, many levels.

What made you decide to mod for the stranger things x oc blog / community?

I love OC’s. My first project was an Eddie x OC story but when I first joined the fandom, it was hard to find people who were really interested in that and so I tried out the x reader thing and stuck with it exclusively for quite some time and while it brought me a lot of joy (still does) something was missing for me. Eventually I always come back to story ideas that demand OC’s, or the other way around. Over time, I met more and more people who’d made the same or similar experiences and got the feeling that there is a small but considerable community of OC people out there that just had a hard time finding each other. So I made a poll and the turnout was so positive that I got the idea to set up a community to change that.

Do you have any tips for people who might want to mod their own blogs and events?

- brainstorm your idea with friends and/or mutuals for a while, really talk through all kinds of possibilities and aspects of it before you set up anything (like: workload, set up, resources, rules and guidelines, and if you are willing and able to enforce them, and potentially alienate people in the process and so on) - be ready to learn and adjust your project while you go  - feedback is your friend - find a support system and/or team - be open minded: there will always be fanworks that don’t vibe with your personal taste  - prepare to be disappointed (this might sound a little demotivating first but bare with me) Projects like that tend to be very personal to us who come up with them and often are fueled by enthusiasm, excitement and a specific vision, but there will always be aspects of creating a group-focused project that will frustrate you to some degree. Maybe the participation is low, or the way people interact with your project is not what you had expected, and so on. Don’t take those things personally (rant to your friends in private to get it out of your system if you have to) and focus on the aspects of your project that make it worth it.

 What's your typical writing process?

That depends fully on how the idea presents itself to me. If it’s dialogue, I just write that down with some basic action tags and then try to find the rest of the story by doing a rough outline. If it’s a vibe or an image then I just start typing what I see in my head. If it’s a more complex concept, it’s a bit of everything. I like to show parts to friends while I write, mostly because it’s fun and fuels the process but also to make sure it works outside of my head. Also, when I am stuck I like to go through my vault of unfinished or abandoned drafts to see if something sparks an idea or even fits with what I am currently writing. That works incredibly well for me.

What's a typical photo editing process?

I only work with free to use stock photos and faces from the show or ST promo material. When I’ve found a base for an edit, I try to find a head/expression that is a good fit for the body. By now I have a pretty big library of screenshots, but I still go back to take new ones to fit my vision every now and then. That can take some time and also some trial and error. It happens frequently that I change out the head mid editing process. There is a certain amount that you can morph the body of the model to make the head fit and I often draw in or patchwork together parts that are missing or have the wrong angle. (It’s mostly necks, hair and parts of clothing.) Once the head roughly fits the body, it’s a back and forth between things, depending on the image: adjusting the background: (erasing things or adding them by drawing things in or using cut outs from other images), adjusting and correcting colors (like changing the colors of clothes and objects, matching the skin tones of head and body) and adding little details like patches, or a cat or posters. And then it’s a lot of blending before I match the overall quality (adding all the shadows and light, matching focus and grain). I also show the wip to friends in between to catch any too big heads or broken neck situations.

 Is there a fandom interaction like a comment or rec of your work, that really stood out to you?

Many. From fanart to really long comments picking out their favourite parts and dissecting them, there are a lot I remember specifically and come back to again and again. There is one particular reblog of my story smoke and cherry pop rocks that had such an impact on me at the time. I was going through a difficult time in the offline world and that comment fed and motivated me for weeks. I was still very new to the fandom and I hadn’t expected anybody to be that moved by my writing and pour their soul out to me like that; it felt like I had made a real impact.

What was your favorite project so far?

In early 2024 @bettyfrommars @allthingsjoeq and I curated a Twilight Zone themed prompt list that inspired lots of great stories and introduced me to one of my closest fandom friends. The list is open-ended, in case anybody feels inspired. My favourite project of mine… I have a hard time choosing between my stories. I never shared any of that online but I did fanbinding projects of some of my friends’ works that are very close to my heart. I love tactile things.

What was your hardest project so far?

Probably every multichapter fic I attempted so far. Sticking consistently with one story is incredibly difficult for me. If I had to choose one, it would be Watershed Moments because it’s not only a multichapter fic that deals with very personal topics and themes, but also the structure I choose to tell this story in makes it pretty difficult to construct. That’s why there’s only one chapter out so far. haha.

Is there anything we didn't ask that you'd like to add?

This is an amazing project and I want to give my kudos and love to you for bringing it to life. <3 And also say thank you to all the weird and lovely people who keep coming back to my corner of tumblr.

[these-posts-arent-real]

Clanblr dashboard simulator is back babye (part 1)

#yes i just finished part 1 #yes im already doing another one #this is really fun to me #hey btw when the follow button is "missing" it isnt missing. #that's your mutuals

0 notes

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

I miss leaf-bareeeeee... my long-haired ass CANNOT with this weather

#shorthairs please dont reblog with "actually i think the warm weather is nice" #then this post isn't for you #robbbinposts

3 notes

🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

I'm trnasgender

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Happy 6 moon anniversary to the time I butchered what was supposed to be my cool, unexpected coming-out with a spelling error

🔥 b-b-b-blaaazr Follow

At least the typo wasnt in your url dude

Also. The coming out wasnt unexpected. At all. We all knew.

#fuck you blaze #"we all knew" yeah maybe because i posted about how i wished i was a tom 10 times a day #whacking uou on the head with my manly paws

204 notes

🔁 🦁 lionsight-x3 Follow reblogged

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

Happy bday to @lionsight-x3, my beloved mutual! Cant imagine life without you

🦁 lionsight-x3 Follow

AGHJHHHH THANK YOUUU ILY SO MUCH LILY <3

#Was honestly having a TERRIBLE birthday until I saw this. #Love you so much Lilystem.

3 notes

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

Am I the only one who didnt know that @ex-thunderclan-kipper is a kittypet??

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

His whole blog, including his url, is based around the fact that he's ex-clan... how are you just now finding this out...

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

I just followed for the wood-scratching art..

#didnt realize he was a kittypet #:/

17 notes

🦢 gentlesong-momof17 Follow

Kits are having their apprentice ceremony tomorrow... can't believe they're all grown up. At least my next litter is due in a moon!!

#momlife #queen #leaving the nursery #mom life #nursery queen #perm queen #perm queen life #permanent queen #permanent queen life

1 note

🔁 🪺 robbbinpaw Follow reblogged

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Im actually gonna die

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Sorry guys forgot to specify. My assessment is tomorrow. So like. My mentor is gonna decide if I get to become a warrior or not. Im freaking out

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

Wait. Youre an apprentice still??

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Ya? My bio says 11 moons- how old did you think I was?

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

WHAT????

I thought you were 21 moons old! Last time I read your bio was 2 days ago and I swear I thought it said 21!??

#moose ive been thinking you were 21 this whole time #cant believe youre only a moon older than me #this is surreal #robbblogs

50 notes

🌠 nightshade-tast3s-yummy Follow

Im on transblr and I keep mixing @l1llyst3m up with @carnation-stem-02... they look nothing alike and post about completely different things I think it's just the (flower)stem names

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

This is extra funny to me considering Lily and I actually became mutuals due to a similar mix-up (someone tagged her where they meant to tag me) but I for the life of me cannot understand how nobody takes one look at our blogs and never makes that mistake again.

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

To the cats in the notes saying "but you're both trans, it's confusing" guys. We arent even the same flavor of gender...

#shes transfemme #im agender #why is this even a source of confusion #we dont even go by the same pronouns..

2,702 notes

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

Uh... hello?? I think Im on the wrong site... what in the name of StarClan is... Tumblr...

[sharp-rosee-callout]

to summarize:

I had sharp-rosee as a mutual for a few months in mid-2024. She left a couple of responses to my posts and interacted maybe a handful of times (links further down). At that point, I was pretty isolated—I’d been active on radblr for around 10 years. My blog got some interaction, but it was a pretty dead blog. Mostly, I was writing to collect my thoughts or vent.

I’d been posting selfies for years, but since they didn’t attract much attention, it felt relatively safe. My blog was usually behind a login screen, and I’d taken steps to prevent reverse image searches or people using my photos to catfish. Out of boredom, I’d started sharing random, silly videos on Tumblr, and around the same time, I was going through my blog archive.  That’s when I came across some old mena posts and revisited her tags (she couldn’t help herself from shaming other women on here via her stupid blog! It made her feel really powerful) and saw a post where she continued to antagonize me despite having blocked me earlier. I called her a ‘brown bitch’ in anger and the fact that i had shared pics of myself meant that these shitbags could make roughly 8 burner blogs to intimidate and harass me then. It eventually became like 10-12 burner blogs.

From September 2024 onward, she created at least eight burner blogs to harass me and even tried (unsuccessfully) to recruit more people to pile on using a notorious site.

Anyway, I reported at least 10-12 separate main blogs sharp-rosee et al made to threaten and intimidate me over a few weeks. She dug up socmedia she'd only know about if she was either following me for months. It was unclear what the point of it was other than to be an insane weirdo with a huge chip on their shoulder. I should have screenshotted each report to help substantiate that claim but I didn't. I sent her a message after seeing her post in a rad community like two months ago, maybe? And she speaks in similar way and makes the same dumb, unsubstantiated accusations that you see in the imageboard screenshots.

Here's her first post:

she made baseless acussations of me being behind the fact that mena had her name listed on the radfem thread on here and not only missued 'insinuate' but was to stupid to notice that I avoided mean like the plague b/c she had a history of responding to any kind of argument I got into on radblr to insult me, years after the initial conflcit.

she then made another one, which resulted in a ban.

I warned her that the harassment she (and her fellow super woke & ethical woc, including the one following porn blogs who asked if I had a tiktok) was going to get reported b/c it wasn't ok and she was clearly trying to intimidate me. as were the rest, by posting actual name on a site where feminists routinely get death threats. she and/or the other morons she sicced on me didn't care.

Sometime around april 5, I saw her gloating about doxxing some TRA troll and talked to radicalite, the creator of a radfem community on tumblr about it. That led to this amazing feminist being banned from the radfem community. I sent her a message for the first time around this time and lo and behold, the burner blog harassment started again!

She then openly encouraged some gay misogynists to bully me, and excused his disregard for the Terms of Service after one of her clueless friends sent him links to photos from when I was bullied at age 20.

sharp-rosee is gaslighting me. After I spoke with @radicalite concerning the shit sharp-rosee did, I did not receive any harassment. I had not seen any weird messages in months. It was only AFTER responding to a message from sharp-rosee that I received the same old burner blog harassment and idiotic deflections.

this is her M.O. She gets interaction on here for being a catalyst of bullies and freaks who viciously police and attack randos for perceived "racism"/ "misogyny" etc. while committing and/or encouraging misogynistic bullying. She's anon for a reason, I don't think she'd want anyone she cares about to know about how she behaves.

It was one angry response to a known bully that spurred on months of harassment.

Here's one of the 10-12 burner blogs she made to harass me with, compare it to one of the archives she made of her own blog posts and screenshots (the blocked out part is her using my real name).

here she is acknowledging that harassing someone for months is actually a bad look, she's just comfortable b/c she's anonymous - unlike her targets:

they taunted me.

she reblogged me complaining about people on socmedia to 'prove' that I wanted to be harassed or something. my blog got no interaction and was behind a login wall. I took steps to make reverse image searches that could lead to me more difficult (and tested my methods, so this freak followed me for months, waited to find one video where i was identifiable and then made a whole imgur album about my blog and whatever accusations she made that weren't substantiated by her 'proof' to post in several places).

it's obvious victim blaming. She (and her collaborators, if there were any) went on to make two separate posts a fairly active bullying site, about a month apart, until she was banned for spamming and getting no interest on her misogynistic bullying (but I'M the misogynist, remember?). these people behave like this b/c they don't suffer any consequences online.

here are the same losers rosee is involved with/encourages making the same posts on a drama site to try and sic bullies on there on me b/c I was 'internet famous' (which is so stupid to say -- getting piled on by psychopaths who get off on being cruel to anyone who responds back to their mean bullshit isn't 'fame'). She'd keep making new posts that people accused her of selfposting' as retaliation for me talking about menalez or whatever else. She did this until she got banned, made another post to defend herself as 'antiracist' with a VPN and then one of the other sycophants took over b/c they have no shame.

this is who rosee et al were encouraging (interacting with this bullshit for weeks) while whining about misogyny btw.

He was still making creepy ai things of my old selfies as of 5/14, which was almost a month after this all started.

this guy's posts were 90% sexual harassment and straight up hating women and the thought he was girlbossing and helping them 'humiliate me' for making a comment they didn't like. and he kept this shit up weeks after he received asks from rosee, I wasn't involved atp at all. he's been responding in disportportioante aggression to anyone with a vag who's ever accidentally run into the gay misogynsits on this site. unpalatablehomosexual (shown at the bottom) HATES rads and has been whinging about them for weeks.

willingly interacting with a weird, VERY agressive estern euro weirdo who blogs about 'fat fucking lizzo' and posts this shit while using burner blogs to rb me sharing samuel l jackson reaction images from the tumblr gif search thing other ppl used as too b/c that's wayciss

again. this shit is toxic and calling me deranged for whining on my own blog is hypocrisy squared.

Her acting all high and mighty while knowingly sending these psychos to my blog, if it isn't her or someone she knows/encourages is maddening. The sheer stupidity, power tripping and lack of empathy here is staggering. from someone cornered with socjustice nonetheless!!!

God forbid another woman's angry tho! That just warrants gaslighting b/c this shit is what you want in your community, apparently. Would rosee want impartial individuals looking at this?

@female-eren @radfemcroatia @gretchenantwort @cuttingcherub

If you believe anything this high school bully says, you are not old enough to be on here. We're all atomized so this is all inconsequential but still.

she made another burner and then decided to respond with her main:

I did not contact sharp-rosee via messages at all while I've known her before 2 days ago. So what is she talking about? Is she outing herself as menalez/mithliya's anon account? M* was getting a lot of negative attention b/c she an immature, duplicitous woman last year so she's become inactive since then. but ofc, if you can find a random user to direct you anger/disgruntlement at, that's all that matters. She's claiming that she's fighting racism here.

LONG list of receipts into my journey into tumblr cyberbullying (from a purported rad!) long list of bullying and receipts of mena and her incoming.

To preface, I've been interacting with radblr since 2015 but I was never popular and fairly isolated. Most of my followers are inactive and I never got any threats from TRAs (save for the very rare dumb ask) when there were a lot of them doing that before tumblr banned porn in 2017 or something. In 2024, that changed.

I've had a pretty severe anxiety disorder (which fuels insomnia) and mental health struggles since hs and I didn't mind being left alone to a degree but I didn't like isolation. Well, a supposed 'rad'/feminist tried to change that via weeks/months long harassment campaign/doxxing/spamming my selfies on kiwifarms and a site that enables bullying, she made two different threads there! Guess sharp-rosee feels comfy sleeping in her bed at night knowing that she didn't spend months fending off psycho bullies in 2011 who made thread after thread to bully a 20 yo who was just lonely and who's bullying started when a random shitty woman responded to a selfie I shared in a thread that I shouldn't have replied to with 'i'd like to hit her with a shovel'. I've spoken to @radicalite about this, she knows the full details and i'll just link to her to avoid giving to much away here.

meet tumblr user @sharp-rosee, a champion of MoC (here she is compiling a list of users OUT OF ALL THE NOTES IN A POST to out 'racists')(the original @mandyfem post) and recently, she claimed that "Lostelvenqueen and Nerdylilpeebee are gone (due to yours truly!)" in a radfem space, something attributed to menalez/@mithliya previously, by random users in radblr.

This will come in handy b/c menahole loves butting into other people's business/posts regardless of whether they have anything to do with her to shame and attack mindlessly regardless of whether she understands what's going on b/c she loves abusing the visibility she has to intimidate people and draw sympathy (she did this to me multiple times while accusing me of 'harassment' when I rbied a post about her deflecting rad criticism of islam/muslim men to add context to her posts), this behavior is relevant b/c she uses it as justification to encourage people like rosee to harass others. Mena quit tumblr a few times last fall b/c she was clashing with other users and ignoring criticism.

dumbass associated w rosee who reposted anything i shared on my blog like an hour after it was shared being creepy:

Even bigger and more perplexing idiots insisted that I was making burner blogs to pretend harass myself. hope y'all catch some flesh eating bacteria, tbf.

My previous history with rosee, to establish that she knew who I was and that it's unlikely that a random was doing this (or know about the handful of personal posts i make a month that get buried by the rbies).

1

2

3

Her admitting she's familiar with me and knowingly using the same distinctive font she uses on the screenshots she shares on her blog b/c she doesn't care if she's outted:

timeline of the harassment (incomplete b/c i didn't have time/the desire/wherewithal to document it).

someone initially made a burner blog in 9/2024 which was following porn blogs of black women and something called 'our-queer-experience' which was not something I'd expect a rad to be associated with. then this shit started showing up in my messages b/c asks were turned off, the last burner blog she made to avoid and and harass a nobody with was on december of 2024 (see above link; she moved onto a side blog i used to rb stuff from blogs that had blocked me for terven thought crimes usually):

here she squatting on the blog handle i had before I changed it to escape mena and her drama vampire army until tumblr nuked her blog for doxxing. all of her blogs were reported but didn't all get termed. she made burner blogs to repeatedly retweet selfies and personal posts from months back. She obviously had a grudge. This was personal to her. regardless of the fact that I was a stranger who had never done anything to her. She has been following and responding to me for months, only to turn into a monster. being a pornsick psycho WoC on radblr certainly is something, eh @sharp-rosee?

fighting racism by being a deranged asshole. she made 3 copies of that rb. Menalez was not a child in 2019 when the japanese schoolgirl bdsm blog was active and she was born into insane privilege, a 15 yo is not a child. menalez as all over my dash harassing dumb teenage TRAs who were just immature and embarrassing in 2019 but her history shouldn't be scrutinized? I sent menahole an ask about the harassing """call-outs""" she does to avoid having earnest discussions about these issues b/c I did not want drama sites to take notice of me considering my history and she ignored it :)

After menalez was made aware of me whinging about the fact that she makes spurious accusations and is a manipulative asshole she decides to show more of who she is by being unable to leave nobodies alone while crying that people do the same to her. If her behavior pisses people off, that's irrelevant. Menalez has a history of using her following and visibility to be spiteful and doesn't care that that is shitty. She also lies about who she is and what she's done. Claims her side blog, who people found was linked to her old main, bahrani in 2019? or w/e wasn't actually her's b/c she can't cop up to her bull to save her life.

someone went through insane effort to out her as a liar

my tag on her, with tons of other blogs she recently antagonzied.

receipts on my old side blog before it got termed where I interacted with a person running a receipt blog who claimed she lied about her being racist (this is a running theme with her). she spent like a week tone-policing and intimidating a rando while using her opsessed followers and 'shaming' as a beating stick.

Mostly, radblr drama is immature and annoying but sometimes, when you meet the right miscreant it escalates into this kind of blood pressure spiking shit. I've experienced derealization in response to bullying before and every time I talk about that or my history suicidality I'm INSULTED. I've been dismissed and insulted for admitting the bullying was wearing me down by both menahole and sharp-rosee with her 10-12 burner blogs.

living in perpetual fear of these freaks raises blood pressure, makes you distrustful of other women and ruins your QoL. They enjoy having power of those they feel can't/won't fight back or hold them accoutable. This is narcissism and antisocial behavior at it's finest. guess you have to have impeccable morality to win internet strangers' allegiance if you do anything that an be traced back to you, like a screenshot of a nextdoor post but you can be totally psycho if you use tumblr to find victims, right and that's cool for a """""Radfem""""? this type of shit is a matter for the law to deal with. if she had trouble finding employment b/c she's a freak, maybe she's finally grow a conscience like so many great people do :+)

imgur backups/(has a few other screenshots)

dying to know how homophobic she thinks articles like this are. She's in the same league as TRAs when it comes to disingenuously labeling ideas/info (nothing I've accused ppl of is made up or something i know is untrue) from people you don't like as bad.

In 1980s London one council decided that as gay men are oppressed, they must all be good. The results were catastrophic. Today most British institutions are similarly treating trans women as a sacred caste. Is nothing learnt from such safeguarding disasters?

@celtyradicalfem

the man who decided to start posting weird shit.

his various e-handles shave been: yasferatu, yasfera2, georgesantosapologist and unpalatablehomosexual

he

[rorysterr]

@anontaku ,

Your letter was received! ♡

Your matchup is...

Satan!

❥ this one came to me very quickly ! Satan was my first pick, however as you described what you look for in a relationship, I drifted a bit towards your runner up (will explain below) but I figured that Satan overall suited you better. 

❥ You and Satan are pretty similar in terms of personality and interests. When it comes to personality, you two think before you speak, you don’t just blurt out whatever whenever. You both only approach or speak to strangers whenever there’s something you deem worth noting or you have an idea to voice. You both also have a wide vocabulary and think logically. But at the same time, you guys know how to loosen up (in other words, you guys have a fun side to you and you’re not a wet blanket). You like to get creative with how you insult people, and I think Satan would really enjoy this (especially when it’s targeted towards Lucifer). I could see Satan even trying to reel you in on his pranks or (attempting) to recruit you to the Anti-Lucifer League. 

❥ When it comes to interests, you both share a mutual interest in reading and more academic subjects in general (history, etymology), so you guys definitely have common ground to bond over. We all know that Satan loves to read, he just can’t get enough of it. I could see the both of you exchanging book recommendations and going on library or study dates. 

❥ What stood out to me the most is the fact that you guys both love to learn. Based on your interests and hobbies, I can tell that you enjoy learning and gaining knowledge. You enjoy stimulating your mind through reading and trivia/quizzes. Satan is also very similar in that same sense and I think he’d appreciate a partner who shares the same love for learning as he does. In my opinion, Satan would enjoy someone with a sharp intellect and someone whom he can bounce ideas off of. Someone who he can share more intellectual and deeper conversations with intrigues him, and you fit that description very well. 

❥ I also think that Satan would admire how outspoken you are. He likes someone with a lively mind and someone confrontational. I think he would enjoy this because he would be able to learn a thing or two from you. 

❥ Satan also fits your criteria the best in my opinion! He’s chivalrous and a total gentleman, although it’s not the overbearing kind. He may be a tease, but he’s the type who will tease you before catering you. Going 50/50 on dates won’t even pass his mind honestly because he pays for everything by default. You also said that you look for a bit of everything in a relationship, there’s not a set love language that you give or receive. You did explicitly say though that you like your partner to spend time with you, compliment you, and give you acts of service and I could see Satan giving you those things. I don’t think he’s a super cuddly person at all like Asmo or Belphie, I think he’s an actions/words > physical touch sorta guy. I do think that his main love language would be quality time. Studying or reading together in the library, going out on cafe dates, going on walks, anything. I don’t think he’s a man of many words so you guys could be sitting in silence while doing your own thing and that will be enough for him as long as you’re physically there. Plus he reads a lot so while he may not be the most talkative brother, he sure knows how to serenade you and sweep you off your feet with words. 

❥ I think that Satan is also just right for you, he’s not too clingy but he’s not too casual about his love for you to the point where it feels like y’all are just friends, if that makes sense. He will not make you his whole world and make his life revolve around you entirely, he has enough self respect to not do that. But he’s the type who will show he cares through his actions and words. He’s also very curious about the world hence why he reads and tries to learn more but I think he’d love to tag along with you on your adventures. Also inside jokes are a big thing with this man! I definitely think he’s the type who will create inside jokes with his partner or give them that look when he sees something ridiculous (like one of Mammon’s schemes). It’ll feel like you got a 2-in-one combo with him since he’ll feel like your boyfriend and your bestfriend. 

❥ Plus Satan can relate to being “the odd one out.” Unlike his brothers, he was and always will be a demon. He was never an angel and never resided within the Celestial Realm. All that he can recall from the Celestial Realm are Lucifer’s memories that he inherited. Because of this, he feels out of place and when his brothers first fell, he didn’t even consider them family because of how odd he felt among them. On top of that, he also faces his struggle with his title as the avatar of wrath due to the fact that many only see him for his wrath and not for his character. It’s degrading for him and makes him feel like he’s out of place or not welcome. I think that he’d relate to how you feel when it comes to being the odd one out because of this.

❥ As for the runner up, Solomon was actually said runner up. I thought that he also fit your criteria pretty well. He’s similar to Satan in the sense that he’s not too clingy but he’s also not too nonchalant towards his partners. It’s a perfect in between, plus he’s very adventurous and willing to try new hobbies or venture places with you. He’s also somewhat of an “odd one out” due to the fact that he’s technically human yet he’s immortal and immensely powerful. Despite how powerful he is, he’s still treated as though he’s lesser than or weaker than everyone else in the obm cast simply because he’s a human. But despite this, he’s someone who chooses to fight on behalf of humanity and is unafraid to defend himself and MC. He’s outspoken, much like you, and you said that you gravitate towards individuals like this. What made me choose Satan over Solomon though is the fact that you two share more interests plus Solomon is more of a tease. 

[felicity0801]

whiterose duo art

rambling and bonus (Hannah + Mapicc) art under cut

@monachopsissssss @lady-hibiscus (my lssmp fandom mutuals i think, if you dont wanna get randomly tagged in the future pls just tell me)

bored and drawing things in class as usual

now i actually don’t watch like 99% of Hannah’s streaming due to my godawful time management but i think this was the vibe of them meeting up again after Leo’s revival?

anyhow i want to make a Leo design timeline but I have no clue at all what his pre-S5 lore was (all I know is that he used to be one of the top PvPers on the server).

speaking of design timelines, here’s some Hannah design stuff

…yeah I know she’s a S6 new member and I already have more outfits for her than some of the members who’ve been around for way longer. but she’s fun to draw so. :>

random thought/headcanon about c!Hannah is that she’s probably a lil cold sensitive. She is like part plant after all. Her style’s very hyper fem though, so she tries to limit bulky insulating materials and deal with the consequences in favor of something that “looks nicer”.

anyhow first fit for season start and her time with The Mice is literally her canon skin. The basic and purely pretty focused. Not quite ready/adjusted to the way Lifesteal works and its differences from say DSMP, bedwars, or competitions/tournaments/events.

2nd one is for solo Hannah between the Mice disbandment and CFG confirmation. Still mostly the same, but with some small practicality fixes as she’s more edge alone: no more heels, no more skirt because it’s totally unnecessary, and more layering- it’s August, the height of summer, so a tank top for outside (esp. warm/hot biomes) to not overheat and also photosynthesize, with a cardigan for cold biomes or going underground.

3rd one is CFG Hannah. Fancier, but in like a steampunk rebel sort of way. There is visible influence from Wemmbu as it’s more “elegant pretty” than “pretty pretty” if yk what I mean. Wemmbu and Kab got that outfit together for her, Kab got her the corset/torso brace thing, and that becomes one of her more prized belongings.

4th one is spawn war/post-Oct 18 Hannah. The server is in flaming, crater-filled ruins with constant battles that frequently go on for hours or even days. Her nice clothes from her CFG days eventually end up permanently ruined- she can’t fix them anymore after Bacon/Hannah/Kab betrays Wemmbu as the trio don’t have access to anything similar to the nicer fabrics and equipment they had gotten from Wemmbu- I imagined the long outer skirt thing would have a lot of tulle, which is a nightmare to work with even under good conditions. It’s also well October so the cold’s starting to set in. Bacon made her a quilted cape from scraps to help her stay warm temporarily.

5th one is Winter Hannah. Pangi got her a practical sweater and trousers to keep her functioning as part of “repairing the server after the spawn war”. She keeps what she can from her CFG era even though it’s getting a bit worn. Also I know you can’t really tell but she’s supposed to have gloves too. I’d like to think her flowers close up, retract, shrivel away, in the cold like real flowers, so the ones on her arm don’t get in the way and there’s less in her hair. She has a jacket too that Pangi gave her, it’s unclear who it belongs to but most likely Leo or Red- it’s a black blazer that doesn’t quite fit her. (I like to think Lifesteal teammates resort to sharing clothes in hard times as a sign of loyalty. Unfortunately it tends to not work for the girls because there’s like 5 of them so it’s harder for them to find clothes that fit.)

I am almost certainly going to give Hannah a Spring 2025 outfit too, but currently I think I should wait a bit, catch up on streams, and figure out more about where her arc’s going.

+ Leo design thoughts: post-revive Leo is a mess. A general Lifesteal headcanon for me is hearts exist in 2 rows of up to 10 each (same configuration as UI hearts) on the inside of the characters’ arms. But after a character’s revived, they have a blackened or otherwise obviously discolored patch where the hearts should be and the new hearts appear in it, as a sign that they’ve been at no hearts before. Normal Leo is a very fancy/elegant guy who always gets nice stuff, but post-revive Leo is kinda helpless. It’s the middle of winter (he was revived around Christmas iirc) and the server just went through a massive war. And when he and Red were banned, Hannah and Kab essentially had to take all of their possessions for themselves and Bacon and Pangi in order to survive and be functional enough to try to repair spawn and do their things. He has like literally nothing to his name because all of his gear and everything he’d had prior had either been taken by Pangi for his shenanigans (including the whole PMC bit) or split between the Bacon/Hannah/Kab trio. Sure Atlas and the Bacon/Hannah/Kab/Pangi squad are trying to take care of his needs, but he’s still on low hearts and they’re all destitute. He has a blazer coat and knitted vest instead of his usual suit, and also his hair isn’t as structured or “stylized” as usual- the side bangs/“L” piece doesn’t curl as much and he also just has his hair down instead of in a bun. Also unrelated but im sorry his hands look kinda scuffed im just bad at drawing hands.

+ unrelated S6 Mape design stuff

bangs in the main reference are unfortunately a bit scuffed, i unfortunately just forget how to draw characters I’ve drawn like uncountably many times sometimes.

also this is his Empire/S6 skin right? Because ysee I am planning to do LS!Mapicc for a cosplay and I actually drew this reference sheet for my textiles teacher (so she knows why i want to alter her hoodie pattern). I have picked this skin for the cosplay, that’s not changing, but I do want confirmation on what time/lore period this skin is for because I’m not that sure and don’t want to spread misinformation when it does matter. Oh and do not expect progress on the cosplay thing for at least like another 2 months. I’m going to be in China for like most of the next month to collect materials and I’m going to make a prop sword when I come back (which is also why I drew a sword design).

oh and i have so much LSSMP design stuff but i havent drawn most of it because again my terrible time management.

oh dear this is getting long lemme post it now

[spacetimeaccordionfolder]

Bestie! Do you have any media recommendations? (Pref books or podcasts)

you’ve got different taste then all my other mutuals and I wanna expand my horizons

Podcast wise I'm not sure I could recommend anything you haven't listened to. I've just started Camp Here and There thanks to osmosis from you and Soup and also Glabella got me into The Silt Verses. I've also listened to Hello from the Hallowoods, which I would recommend. It's calmer than Malevolent or TSV. I used to listen to it to get to sleep, but started having trouble, and then couldn't listen to it in other times of day as I pavloved myself into getting calm and tired when I listened to it. It's been long enough now that I'm contemplating starting it up again, but am unsure where to start my listening. I've heard Old Gods of Appalachia is great but I haven't listened to it.

In Hello from the Hallowoods (here's the website if you want more info), an eldritch narrator follows the increasingly connected residents of the forest at the end of the world. Nikignik does a sort of radio show, with about 3 stories from around the Hallowoods,- what someone is doing, who is running from what- each night, broadcasting into dreams. You start to hear more and more from the same group of people and realize just how interconnected these people are. Each story has a similar theme or something connecting them.

Book wise- I just spent this past year reading all of the Cosmere, a sort of collected universe by Brandon Sanderson. If you've seen me reblogging things tagged Stormlight Archive, that's a big series in there that I love very very much. I would definitely recommend Stormlight, or Mistborn if you want a series but one that's not as long. Warbreaker, the Sunlit man, and Tress of the Emerald Sea are my favorite standalones done by Brandon Sanderson, but Sunlit and Tress kind of require some basic knowledge of the Cosmere to have the best time with them. Stormlight's a big epic fantasy and is kind of hard to describe. Mistborn is easier to describe. A group of gentleman thieves decide to overthrow an evil emperor. Also magic is powered by metal. It's more complicated than that, but that's what my brain's giving right now. I would just look up a summary/ back of the book for these, especially Warbreaker. Another thing I like about Brandon Sanderson's works, especially Mistborn, Stormlight, and Warbreaker, is that you don't just get a 19 year old protagonist and that's it. So many fantasy books I've read either have the main characters all as young adults (19) or like 500. and I got tired of reading that. Whereas here, there are protagonists of different generations. So for example, in Mistborn the protagonists are like 35, 16-17, and basically all secondary characters are in their mid 30s. Stormlight- there's a 20 year old, a 25 year old, a 17 year old, and a 55 year old. There's a variety other than Older Teen/Young Adult and 500 year old someone who looks 25! There are people who are in their 30s! So if that's something that appeals to you, tada.

Non cosmere books- ummmmmm (wracking my brain trying to think of what I enjoyed before the cosmere)

Dracula the book is fantastic. It's amazing. It's epistolary (journal entries) and very different than what pop culture has possibly led you to believe. Johnathan Harker and Arthur Lester would be friends. There's at least one podcast reading out the days of this in chronological order (re:dracula) and an email version of that (dracula daily) but I'd recommend reading the book first in the order things are given there, as certain things are out of order date wise on purpose, or will have a collection of a certain character's journals for a month before you see that month from another character. The first entry is May 3rd, so you have time if you want to read the book and then listen to the podcast/ get the emails as it happens.

Six of Crows Duology is also great. It's been a while since I read that. Thieves (they're all like between 15 and 20) doing a supposedly impossible heist and becoming friends.

The Underland Chronicles- Do not let the middle grade designation fool you. There is strife in these books. This is the first series Suzanne Collins wrote. Gregor, age 11, falls down a laundry shoot after his sister Boots, who's like a toddler?, and ends up in a world below ours filled with talking rats, cockroaches, bats, and more! He unfortunately fits a prophecy they have.

The Thief (and the Queen's Thief series, although I've only read books 1-3). Gen's been in prison for a year after boasting he could steal anything and break out of any cell. The kingdom's magus has found an ancient treasure, needs the aid of a thief to get it, and picks Gen. The first book is from Gen's perspective and the rest in third person. Stories of old gods and goddesses from the land are throughout the book and it's neat. (as an aside, Gen falls into the "gods' blorbo" character type I'm beginning to realize I love)

That's all I can think of right now.

[schmedterlingfreud]

I was tagged by @ma-chi1993 thank you so, so much! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) 💚​💚​

Three Ships: - GerIta (Hetalia); they are the simple Perfection. Among my Hetalia ships, GerIta will always be my Number One, the Sacred and Untouchable One. Culturally, historically, and romantically speaking… they are absolutely perfect for each other. I love how different and complementary their two personalities are. I love how a rigid and stoic personality like Germany finds comfort and peace in a more soft and sweet and easy-going personality like Italy's, who helps him to mature, to express himself, emotionally speaking. And I love how a fearful character like Italy finds comfort and courage in Germany's bond, in his strength. A unique love -- and not necessarily romantic -- that will always have a special place in my heart. 🍺​🍝 - UsUk (Hetalia); choosing another of my Hetalia ships -- sorry, guys, my world literally revolves around two fandoms (xD) -- is very difficult. I choose UsUk for everything this ship has given me on an emotional level, and because it has allowed me to express myself a lot on a creative level. I love it because I see and experience these two characters in very different ways, depending on the thousand universes in which we can insert them -- and note well: I ship "Alfred and Arthur", not "America and England"! But, regardless of how you see them, I love their conflictual dynamics, I love their differences, I love everything that distances them and, at the same time, brings them closer. I (sadly) find myself having a personality very similar to England's, so I love the sense of comfort and peace that gives me the thought of having close to me an energetic and positive character like America. Very self-indulgent? Yes. But who the F cares, right? (u.u) I also love the more tragic side of their past bond, their family history, and also the romantic side that you can develop in an AU context in which the two boys/men are almost the same age and without family ties. A very magical ship ❤️​💙​ - Luberto (Luca); another perfect representation of "opposites attract". I really appreciate the "growth factor" of Luberto -- I don't know if it makes sense, saying it in this way (xD). I love the innocence from which it starts, I love the strong and indestructible friendship that they develop. And yes, I also love the fact that, seeing Luca and Alberto as young adults/adults, you can also develop a romantic side to their relationship. Just like it was true for Italy and Germany, Luca and Alberto are among the very few characters that I can see perfectly under the true definition of "soulmates". That feeling that makes you say: "You will always be my only true one, until the end of the universe". I also love the fact that they both help each other grow through their mistakes, their mutual closeness, but also their distance. I love the fact that they don't always understand each other, but at the same time they learn how to love their differences. I love the constancy of that underlying friendship that remains solid and perfect even without adding the romantic side. I love the fact that they both always have something to teach and learn from each other. I love the fact that, despite the possibility of being lovers, they will always remain best friends forever. "Growth" is the key word that made me fall in love with this perfect ship. 🐟​🛵

First Ship: - LawLight (Death Note); what do you want me to say? L and Light were the first characters I read fan fiction about, and they were one of the main reasons I actively became part of the ✨fandom world✨. Looking back at them now, with my adult and mature eyes, I see many more shades in them than when I was young, when for me they were simply the couple of: "Yes, I hunt you, I have to kill you, you're my enemy, but deep down I love you". I still see so much potential in L and Light's relationship -- despite the obvious toxicity (xD) -- and I continue to love them and their interactions, always conflicting, always intricate, always complex. Maybe, that's true, to remain IC there should be very little space for real romance between two cold and mental characters like them. And this is why, among the "Death Note" ships, I prefer the MelloxMatt. But L and Light were my "first ones" so they will always be the most special ones. 🍎​

Last Movie: I don't remember the last "new" movie I saw (maybe it was "Inside Out 2", so last summer!), but last night I re-watched "The Corpse Bride" while I was having dinner, just to keep my company.

Last Song: Nazhmi Na Knopku by Chernikovskaya Hata (... my current obsession)

Currently Reading: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, by Lyman Frank Baum

Currently Watching: Nothing, but sometimes I re-watch random episodes of "Breaking Bad" and "South Park".

Currently Eating: A mug of my beloved instant coffee

Currently Craving: Nothing in particular... maybe another coffee? ☕

Thank you again for the tag (💚), and I'm tagging:

@sigdom @mari--lace @nordic-italian-german

@faunabel @hondakiku @bachint

[i-heart-hxh]

Hi...Can I ask, what are your KilluGon fav moments? And what are your fav personal headcanons about them? Also, do you have any fav ships (from any fandom) that the dynamics remind you of KilluGon? Thanks if you want to answer....

Hello!

Thank you for asking! This post will get way too long if I answer all your questions, so here's a post where I talk about some of my fav HxH moments (4/5 of which are KilluGon related), and here's my Headcanons tag to see some of the headcanons I've posted or approved of previously. I'm sure I'll revisit similar questions to these over time as well.

I haven't had anyone ask about ships that remind me of KilluGon though, and it's a fun question to answer! I think KilluGon is very unique, so these might not be incredibly similar, but I'm focusing on ships that give me a similar feeling or have commonalities that I think are worth mentioning. I enjoy all of these ships to varying degrees!

I'm going to stay away from ships from big, currently popular shounen series that people typically bring up in comparison with HxH (JJK, HeroAca, etc.), both because the ships I've come across in those don't actually remind me of KilluGon very deeply, and also because it's more fun to recommend ships/series people may not have heard of already!

Reki Kyan and Langa Hasegawa (Sk8 the Infinity)

I'm all but certain these two were based off Gon and Killua in part--the personalities of the two and dynamic between them feels fairly similar, and the antagonist of the series, Adam, also strongly feels like he's based off of Hisoka. The series itself is less serious/dark than HxH so the intensity isn't the same, but they definitely have a similar strong friendship basis and mutual adoration to Gon and Killua.

Suletta Mercury and Miorine Rembran (Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury)

Suletta is straightforward, somewhat oblivious, and grew up isolated from others (a bit like Gon), and Miorine is confident, tsundere, and trying to escape the influence of her rich and powerful family (a bit like Killua), and the two hit it off quickly and find joy and inspiration to keep going in each other. The degree to which they influence, support, and adore each other feels familiar. There are some later developments (spoilers) that remind me of Gon and Killua as well.

Yuki Sanada and Haru (Tsuritama)

Yuki, who has severe anxiety, ends up having his life transformed when the strange and overly friendly Haru appears suddenly. There's a real cuteness, joyfulness, and closeness between them that reminds me of Gon and Killua, and the way they help each other understand the world differently and change each others' perspectives as well.

Maru and Kiruko (Tengoku Daimakyou / Heavenly Delusion)

I can't say too much about this ship because I don't want to spoil any surprises, but let's just say in at least one major way it's not how it appears. Maru (the blond one) shares several commonalities with Killua, though he's at least a bit more straightforward in his emotions like Gon; while Kiruko is somewhat more tsundere initially (due to understandable past reasons). Their bond reminds me of Gon and Killua in that they travel all around together and develop a very close friendship and devotion to one another, and while one is more openly affectionate the other holds back more initially.

(This series contains some mature content, including a depiction of sexual assault, so please be careful when checking it out, but it's fantastic!)

Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira (Hikaru no Go)

These two are rivals and obviously Gon and Killua are not, but at the same time there's a certain intensity and degree of being obsessed with each other than reminds me of KilluGon, as well as things like their bickering and the degree to which the series revolves around their connection. It's been a long time since I read the manga so I admittedly can't remember all the details, but I feel like it's maybe a few steps closer to Gon and Killua than, say, Hinata and Kageyama from Haikyuu (though that's also a great rivals -> friends ship that has some commonalities with KilluGon). It has a strong canon basis and I remember really enjoying how their bond develops!

Riko and Reg (Made in Abyss)

Riko is an adventurous, plucky girl who goes on a dangerous journey to find her missing parent, while Reg the robot boy supports her on their adventure (and semi-secretly adores her). Reg is also voiced by Mariya Ise, Killua's seiyuu, so it's hard not make the comparison! The personalities of the two are definitely similar and their bond feels familiar.

(Made in Abyss looks cute but it contains a great deal of upsetting/potentially triggering content, please be careful if you decide to watch or read it! It's amazing, but definitely not a series that will appeal to everyone.)

I hope people looking for similar ships might enjoy checking these series out!

[on-noon]

On The Algorithimization of Life

Ever since facebook created a ranking system back around 2007 to decide which posts get seen in the news feed in what order, more and more social media sites from instagram to tiktok, and then even non-social media sights like amazon, netflix and spotify have included some sort of algorithm to serve content to users.

While the number of services that use algortihms to decide which content to show us has increased, so too has the amount of time we spent on these services increased. The average time spent on social media is now over two hours a day, and has increased forty minutes from ten years ago (Data from Soax).

Algorithmic recommendations have advantages, of course. That's why people use them. Algorithmic recommendations allow the users to see only things that may interest them. When facebook introduced their newsfeed feature that would show updates from your friends all in one place, instead of going to their individual pages, they wanted to show the news that was more relevant first, and that was decided by an algorithm that was manually designed at first, based off of how recent a post was, how much you interact with that user, and what type of post it was.

Another benefit algorithms could offer is allowing you to discover things you're interested in that you never would otherwise see. One of my favorite songs I discovered because I saw a random ukulele video on youtube that i never would have searched for, but yet really enjoyed watching.

If the algorithm is serving new, unfamiliar content in addition to that of the people you follow, you can keep refreshing or scrolling and get more and more content without end. This is appealing, as you never get that dissapointed feeling of not having something new to see, you never feel bored. But that also means there are very few natural points to log off and go do something else, if there is always a new recommendation to look at. But, boredom can be good for us (veritasium video on boredom).

Algorithims are no longer weighted by people, now there are machine learning systems that decide which factors to weight how much, usually with the goal of getting users to stay on the platform as long as possible to increase ad revenue. But staying on the platform as long as possible isn't the same as enjoying it. It might just mean I can't look away. And then I find myself with less time to do activities that actually satisfy me.

But if I have issues with algorithmic recommendations, what are my alternatives? There's a few main alternatives I can think of. Searches, following, and recomendations. Ao3 has a really good system for searching through all the fanfics posted on it. Because they have a system of tagging works that I can both include and exclude when searching, I can search for exactly what I want. The main challenge is knowing what I want, but I find that a fun challenge. I get to discover what I enjoy, and learn more about myself in the process. (Although I enjoy different search engines differently. Perhaps

Following creators and seeing what they make can be really satisfying! I get to see multiple things from the same person and learn more about them and their art, in addition to getting to see someone grow over time. But following on its own has a huge problem: discovery. You have to know someone exists to follow them. This can be possible through search, as you can go from a topic to a creator, but there is another way as well. Recommendations.

Human reccomendations feel the most similar to using an algorithm to recommend, as the main change is switching out who is recomending, but I quite enjoy it. Whether it's a friend sharing a reel with me, a mutual reblogging a cool post, or a youtuber collabing with someone they think does a good job, there are a lot of ways to get recommendations, and can lead to some good experiences.

[sennamybeloved]

» BEFORE YOU FOLLOW !

before i begin, i want to make it clear that this account is intended to be a safe space for me. thus, i do not wish to interact with the following: accounts that center around discourse/drama, zoos/pedos or any similar bullshit, adults who selfship with minors, people who ship with lucian and/or senna, people who ship with jinx from arcane (as my partner ships with her).

i tend to deal with sharing on a case-by-case basis. if we share an f/o one of us isn't comfortable sharing, shoot me a dm and i'm sure we can work something out! if all else fails, i'll give you a tag to block.

i practice reblog karma and i encourage you to do so as well. if you shoot me an ask when you reblog an ask game from me, i'll do the same for you :)

i have the tendency to go inactive for periods of time. if i disappear suddenly, please don't be alarmed! i'm just very antisocial and very inconsistent.

i have autism, c-ptsd, and severe social anxiety. this affects how i interact with people, both online and irl. please try to be patient with me if you can.

i don't mind people who selfship with my fictionkins (which are listed on my strawpage) as i am able to recognize that there's multiple "versions" of those characters. i won't get weirded out if you try to follow me.

i may ship from ""problematic"" sources, but that doesn't mean i condone the source media's creator or message! please don't feel the need to message me to tell me about a controversy surrounding my f/o's creators. i like to keep tabs on stuff like that, so i probably already know about it.

do not message me about community drama!!! i don't care!!! unless i'm buddies with a fucking pedo or something please do NOT bother me.

i enjoy exploring darker/grittier themes in all of my work, selfship work included. angst, themes of horror/violence, and mildly toxic/possessive behaviors are often present in my ships. i don't consider this """proship""" or whatever the fuck, i just like exploring different dynamics and themes through selfshipping! at the end of the day, me and my f/os are safe together! all relationships depicted on this blog are between happy and consenting adults!

finally, please do not follow me if you are under the age of 16! i am okay with you interacting in passing, but i don't want to be mutuals with anyone below that age. if you are a minor, please block the "* ★ / after dark ." tag, as post suggestive content under it. i will never post explicit nsf.w here; that's contained to a sideblog of mine, which you can ask for if you are over 18!