#(though sometimes it just depends on the context/severity?)

[official-time-loop-posts]

On the topic of time loop movies, Triangle (2009) - it's a horror movie so there's gore, so if that's a no for you totally understandable, but there's like multiple loops/one loop looping over itself multiple times - it's complicated but also not but super cool to try and figure out

Sounds cool, I’ll check it out!

[serpentface]

Comparing livestock color-words.

Both the Chenahyeigi and Wardi languages are derived from peoples who have been pastoralists for millennia, and both have an absolute ton of words for livestock coloration.

Both languages have had at least some mutual influence for about a thousand years (to varying extents by dialect, depending on geography/trade connection) so you'll see similar or identical words crop up here and there.

THE WORDS:

Hneya - [hne:ʝɑ] or [hne:jɑ] (whether the ʝ sound is retained in speech and to what extent varies by dialect)

Straightforwardly refers to bright reddish-orange color, but is mostly used for animals rather than other orangeish things. The word Was probably influenced by an older form of the Wardi 'reyla', and absorbed with the introduction of orange colored cattle. It may have been merged with the Chenahyeigi '(h)ne', which is the root of several red color-related terms.

Reyla - [rejlɑ]

This is a Wardi word for most reddish-orange hues in general. When applied to livestock, it refers to solid orange coats without spotting/masks/notable countershading.

Fels akhri - [fels] [ɑ:khɾi]

Translates readily as 'storm cloud' (the 'storm' here specifies thunderstorms). When applied to livestock, it describes fur that is rich dark blue-gray with white guard hairs.

Aganne - [ɑgɑ:ne]

This doesn't actually translate to 'night sea' in a straightforward manner, but as a color word it's poetically associated with dark seas, at night or in storms. When used for livestock, it describes this coloration exclusively.

Woud et lleng - [woʊd] [ɛt] [ɬeŋk]

Woud is the word for rich moist soil specifically, lleng refers to laterite and its association with iron deposits. This phrase is used to describe livestock with dark brown heads and and orange-brown bodies.

Tsipanibe - [t͡sipɑnibe]

This would be more literally translated as 'ochred'. Many Wardi words with the -ibe stem from verbs or nouns modified to indicate that the subject matter has 'received' an action or concept. (Examples of such words are long-established linguistically, you can't just add '-ibe' to any noun or verb). This one takes the root 'tsipan' (ochre) and applies it to the subject matter (cattle coloration).

Livestock with a dark brown or black head and orange-brown body are given this description, the idea being that their bodies look like they've been painted in ochre. This word is extremely rare outside of this context (you would usually just say the full 'ochre-painted' to convey this idea for other things)

Drengh yipeg - [dɾeŋg(h) yɪpɛ:g]

This is pretty straightforwardly 'little moon'. Yipeg comes from the same root as the Wardi 'hippe' for 'small', while drengh refers to the appearance of the moons in the sky (rather than the gods they embody). It's used to describe small round white blaze marks.

Ipalen hamita - [ipɑlɛn (h)ɑmitə]

Straightforwardly 'star marked', used for small round white blaze marks. Wardi actually does have a 'moon marked' (ipalen amit) to describe round white blazes that entirely cover the animal's forehead.

Brinyavir - [bɾi:nʝɑvir] (ʝ is retained for this word in most dialects)

This one is not directly translatable, 'celestial' or 'heavenly' just function closely enough. The word conceptually relates to stars but most specifically describes a layer of sky in which the afterlife rests (brinyavir is part of the phrase I translate as 'celestial fields'). The cattle there are said to have these markings. The stars in the night sky are sometimes playfully described as the spots of these cattle (though not literally, in Chenahyeigi cosmology stars are spirit-inhabited bonfires lit along pathways through the heavens).

As a color word for livestock, brinyavir refers to this rare (I Think nonexistent irl) white-spotted black coloration, due to both resembling the stars and the cattle that are moved among them.

Asi inwetadi - [ɑsi in:wetɑ:di]

This directly means 'like night sky', and is applied to this coat pattern with a similar underlying logic- it looks like a starry night sky. You will often see asi (like/akin to) retained in place or animal names like this, and it is sometimes part of names for people (the name Asinya is derived from a contracted 'like the sun').

Ogriye - Chenahyeigi: [oʊ:gɾije] Wardi: [oʊgɾi:je]

This word is (or was) a way to say 'gravel' or 'gravelly' in both Chenahyeigi and Wardi, and is pronounced very similarly in both (with the only significant difference being emphasis)

In Chenahyeigi it is a loanword from the Wardi language family, most likely received in the exchange of cattle of this coloration. It is retained in general speech as a word for gravel, more specifically the adjective 'gravelly'.

The word is mostly obsolete in contemporary Wardi, speakers do not know it used to mean 'gravel' (though it sounds close enough to assume a connection, the word is 'ogri') and exclusively use it to describe this livestock coloration (one of the more common among Wardi native cattle).

---

Also here's some cow lore.

There's some fairly tremendous diversity in Wardi cattle herds, given they have genetic influence from at least two separate aurochs domestication events (also distant and negligibly minor influence from one instance of bison domestication) and from multiple relatively isolated domestic cattle populations. Present day herds within Wardi provincial territory near-ubiquitously have at least some ancestry from the kulustaig and the Burri tepang cattle.

The ancestors of the Wardi native cow have been in the region for at Least 5,000 years. Burri cattle Possibly could have had tiny, isolated introductions between 2500-3000 years ago (this is extremely unlikely, but maize Was probably introduced by seafaring proto-Burri peoples at this time) or at more recent points since, and the tepang was certainly introduced during Imperial Burri occupation. High quality cattle are also occasionally received in diplomacy with the present-day Different Entity that is the Burri Republic. The kulustaig cattle arrived with proto-Finnic migrants starting 1500 years ago, and is the biggest external genetic influence on Wardi herds. Small populations of Yuroma native cattle arrived with migrants 540 years ago, though these have been wholly absorbed into Wardi herds, with their biggest trace being genes for naturally polled horns. Some Finn cattle were extracted in the recent two decades of Wardi occupation, though not enough to have a noteworthy genetic impact on any herds.

Most of the cattle in this post show predominantly Wardi native cattle + kulustaig ancestry (this takes place in the Ephenni riverlands, where the ancestry of herds tends to be around 2:1). The one with the blaze has a delicate sloping muzzle that suggests Burri tepang ancestry, and also likely has a wild aurochs grandparent (the white ring around the nose is a telltale sign, as it usually vanishes within a few generations of introgression).

Diversity in color and coat pattern is culturally favored for Wardi cattle herds, and selective breeding for aesthetics is usually limited to the purpose of preserving unique coats. The average herd tends to be very colorful, though the one shown here is a bit of an outlier, the universe having mysteriously put in place perfect conditions to compare the words for a variety of coat patterns.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole if I refused to pay my phone bill?

📱🧾♿️ <- To recognize my post for later :)

The title is probably already a bit of a red flag, but I genuinely didn’t know how else to word it…

For context: I am a disabled, chronically and mentally ill trans guy who recently turned 20. I haven’t left home yet for a lot of reasons, some being that my parents promised to let me live rent-free so long as I was in college (which I am, just not currently for the summer) as well as the fact that they really haven’t raised me to be very independent and rely solely on them (which is honestly a whole other can of worms), but primarily because of my disability. It isn’t safe for me to live on my own, as I faint commonly, cannot stand up for more than maybe fifteen minutes at a time roughly, and sometimes am unable to eat for long periods of time due to debilitating nausea which leads to weakness. I also have severe chronic pain in my limbs and gut, something I’ve had most of my life, while my chronic illness I’ve only had for about a year and a half now and am still struggling to adjust to.

Because of my disability, I also can’t work a traditional job. I offer art commissions online, because I’m very passionate about art and it’s one of the few things I’m good at, and I haul in a decent amount, but certainly not enough to live off of. I make enough to set aside some good savings (I’m currently saving for a wheelchair, as that might grant me more freedom and the potential to get a job at least for the summer) while also indulging myself in buying the occasional fatty treat (I’m very underweight so that’s not an issue, and I was raised essentially in an almond mom household all my life, so this form of eating is really the only sense of control I have over my life, as I’m fully dependent on my parents elsewise).

The issue has come upon relatively recently. I feel like a huge entitled brat for it as well, and if others believe the same, I sincerely don’t blame you.

My mom sat me down the other day and said that she expected me to start paying at least one bill. She offered my cheapest bill (which would be for my phone; my parents bought it, and it’s theirs, they’re just letting me use it as my own.. I don’t own a whole lot of “my” items myself) and asked what I thought about that. I was fully honest with her: if I had a steady stream of income, I wouldn’t hesitate to offer to pay for all of my bills, but with the way it stands, I just don’t make enough month-to-month to regularly afford the bill. I also do my commissions through my phone, so if I could afford the bill, my phone would be turned off, and I’d be unable to continue.

My mom got very upset and started talking to me like a child (though she really has every right to, honestly, and I know that). She went on a very long rant about teaching me responsibility, and how I can’t rely on my parents forever, and that I need to grow up at some point… All things that I fully agree with. I sincerely want to! I want nothing more than to be fully independent. But the way it stands, my parents cover my entire medical bills and they pay for my meds… And I just don’t make enough to survive on my own, and I can just barely afford a meal or two from a sandwich shop I enjoy twice a month to keep my sanity in check because I’m usually bedbound.

I tried explaining to her that I would if I could, sincerely, and that I’m not trying to be a leech or lazy, but she wasn’t having it. She just scolded me and said that if I can afford to eat out every month, then I can afford the phone bill. But again, with the way things are, I don’t think I’d be able to do it every month without tapping into my savings, which again, is for my wheelchair so I can regain some sense of freedom for myself. I’m seriously debating just telling her no straight out, but I don’t know what the aftermath might look like…

So, sincerely: Am I in the wrong here? Should I just swallow my protests and cough up the money somehow? I really don’t know and would love an outside perspective.

[glitter-stained]

As someone who is very much not well-versed in medical things/psychology, I have no idea how to research this efficiently, so, would you say that Jason would in any way benefit from being on some sort of medication, like anti-depressants or something like that? Not in a way of "oooh that would fix him and make him not murderous" or whatever, but to improve some of the very clear mental health issues that affect him in his day-to-day life, first and foremost.

Oh I love that one! Answering quickly for once because I've already dissected it in my head

Fuck yeah he would benefit from medication. Of course, I'm neither a psychiatrist nor a pharmacist, but I did have classes on neuropharmacology and it was one of my favourite things to study, so I'm confident I'm not saying random shit but if someone in there

So- of course, it depends on the era, but there are three molecules I'd consider useful for him :

> Rebirth Jason:

-sertralin

> any and all Jasons:

- lamotrigin

-propanolol

Sertralin

So, the antidepressants. Basically, sertralin is an SSRI, which means it works by altering your brain chemistry to heighten the chances that your neurons will get the possibility to transmit serotonin, a neurotransmitter (brain molecule) that is linked with happiness (very very basically. Please don't misunderstand this as "sertralin/serotonin makes you happy".) I'll admit I haven't read enough of rebirth Jason to establish whether he fits the criteria for a characterized depressive episode rather, but he already displays, at minima, subclinical signs of depression. One reason why I don't need to wait for an established diagnosis to say I think trying out antidepressants would be a good idea is that Jason is suicidal as fuck (has made several attempts on his life + documented suicidal ideation... and at least according to Bruce) has been for a very long time.) This makes it a total emergency.

Now if we're considering post Gotham war Rebirth Jason, this guy has an anxiety disorder (like, I wish Batman #148 had shown Jason abusing benzos so bad.) The thing is, Joker might have made Jason "functional" enough not to be paralyzed by fear in Man Who Stopped Laughing (and hey! Laughter is a good strategy to regulate anxiety. Thanks, Joker.), but that is very much not enough: as Joker says, Jason still feels that anxiety, he's just not having outwards panic attacks about it. The thing with anxiety (aside from the risks of such extreme chronic stress) is that 1) some SSRI, like sertralin, have a positive effect on symptoms and 2) if untreated, it very often leads to depressive symptomatology (kinda like fatigue from all the stress). All of this to say if a patient has anxiety, in my country it's recommended to give them antidepressants, both to soothe the anxiety and to decrease the risk of developing depression. So yeah, I would definitely give him antidepressants!!

Lamotrigin

Listen.

Listen. I know what you're thinking. "Why would you recommend giving Jason an anti-epileptic? He doesn't have epilepsy." He doesn't. Stay with me.

So, lamotrigin is originally an anti-epileptic. However they realized that using smaller doses could make it into a thymoregulator for bipolar disorder (I and II). Now, a thymoregulator is a medicine that people with bipolar take to regulate their emotions. Bipolar disorders are characterized by three phases: mania(or hypomania), depressive phase, and euthymia. Mania (or hypomania) is characterized by elevated mood and/or agressivity (though the most characteristic of mania is still elation/euphoria) that can be associated with overestimation of abilities, augmentation of risk taking, sometimes psychotic symptoms (such as grandiose delusions, etc.) Depressive phases are the symptoms of a characterized depressive episode, but in the context of bipolar (they're often very severe, and can sometimes take on melancholic and/or psychotic characteristics). They're not rapid mood swings: manic and depressive episodes can sometimes last weeks. And then there is euthymia, which is "normal, non-pathologic mood". So basically, your mood is a spectrum from "so high it's harmful and dangerous to you" to "so low it's harmful and dangerous to you", with euthymia in the middle as "neither too high nor too low". The goal of thymoregulators like lamotrigin is to keep the patient in euthymia. That doesn't mean that the person will never feel sad or happy, this isn't a mood dampener: it's just that they won't have to leave with the fear that every stressor or sad moment will send them spiralling in a depressive episode, or that they have to be careful not to feel too much joy in case in tumbles into euphoria. It's just a way to compensate the chemical dysfunction in the brain that makes it so incredibly hard and painful to emotionally regulate.

Now, as we said, mood is a spectrum, and in bipolar, it's like you're swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other. But it's not perfectly symetrical, not for everyone. For example, you can have one patient who has very high mania and severe depressive episodes, but you could also have patients with high mania and less severe depressive symptoms, or patients with severe depressive symptoms and hypomania rather than mania. This is why we need different types of thymoregulators! Each thymoregulator's effect span can be situated on the mood spectrum. For example, lithium works best for patients where there's a symetrical dysregulation (so the mood goes about as high in the maniac phase as it goes low in the depression phase), and lamotrigin works best with patients whose disorder tends more towards the lower end of the mood spectrum (ie patients with very severe depressive episodes and whose high episodes tend more towards hypomania. (That's classically what we get with cohort studies, but of course every patient is unique! This is why it sometimes takes many tries before finding A) the right molecule for the patient and B) the right dosage for the molecule, which requires evaluating and re-evaluating with the psychiatrist as the treatment is established, blood draws to figure out absorption etc... It's a very careful balance to find.)

Now, it's a hc I've seen a bunch, but I don't personally hc Jason as having a bipolar disorder. So why do I think lamo could help him?

As we've seen, lamo's job is basically to help regulate negative emotions. To which, someone had the brilliant idea to realise hey, there are other disorders in which there are major issues with regulating negative emotions because of alterations to brain chemistry, one of the best-known being PTSD! So they conducted studies and it turns out, some thymoregulators (including lamo), in lower doses than those used in treatment for bipolar, are efficient in supporting emotional regulation in PTSD! It's pretty recent, but professionals have started to prescribe those thymoregulators to people with PTSD, and I for one think it's really really cool (partially because research in ptsd is doing amazing rn, and partially because my doctor decided i had enough trauma to qualify for prescribing lamo- i didn't necessarily agree with him, but of all the medication I've been prescribed it's the one that helped the most and I'm really really happy about it.) So with all of that said, I hope it makes sense why Jason, whose brand of complex PTSD (which is imo clearly associated with negative emotional dysregulation) might benefit from lamotrigin or a similar thymoregulator.

[redux-iterum]

There haven’t seemed to be any strongly neurodivergent coded cats in the story yet (unless I missed them LOL that’s very possible for me), so I was curious! Would their clan mates be more accommodating to whatever they struggle with, or would it be seen more as a personal failure since they don’t have concepts for these things? I know that many end up as seers, but surely others wouldn’t fit in that role too. I know they are very community focused and don’t expect everyone to be good at everything— but would those with social deficits, attention span issues, or sensory issues end up in conflict with their clan mates? Would a clan cat understand tics or stims? I know that it probably wouldn’t be explored in detail in any of the books, since the focus is more on the communities at large than on one or two individual characters like in canon, but I like to make up my own cats with two of my friends based on this lore and I would love to hear a little about how neurodivergent cats interact with their community outside of the seer role!

I'll give you this for now: a major character in the third arc will be neurodivergent. I hesitate to use any specific labels, because these cats don't experience mental disorders or conditions the same way humans do (both for plot and worldbuilding reasons), so I won't be using them except as a comparison. I guess the best I can say is that this character will lean very hard into traits you'll see most often in autism, even if they aren't one-to-one with it. Along the way, as we plot out the second arc, we may add in more divergent characters (or alter characters to be divergent), but I won't declare it as a certain thing, in case we don't or can't get to it.

Now, for the lore questions! I'll give a rundown of the big information here, so we have a main post to link to people when they want more context:

We've mentioned before that conditions that affect the brain are not super easy for the Clans to handle. They can understand a broken leg, but (for lack of a classier term) a broken mind is invisible, and you can't just fix it with licking a wound clean or giving someone prey until they can get up and go hunt themselves. This is mostly in the cases where one hallucinates, or is severely mentally handicapped, or struggles with suicidal thoughts or depression - the Clans do not have therapists or a rank specifically built to handle such issues. The best they often can do is provide physical care and work around these disorders to keep the cat alive and as happy as they can be in the Clans. That doesn't always include becoming a seer.

Gooseleaf was extremely lucky that he happened to be in tune with the spirit world and became a seer apprentice, otherwise his schizophrenic episodes would have landed him in the elder's den as soon as he got his name. There have been plenty of challenged cats (and other disorders are included in this) that were just regular warriors, and some became elders quickly in their lives (though there have been perma-apprentices before, but they're treated as elders are all the same). It all depends on the severity of their condition and how it affects their quality of life.

As far as the Clans are concerned, you do the best you can to contribute to your community, and if you simply can't because you're mentally a kit or beginning apprentice, or you can't do much more than sit there and stare at nothing, then it becomes time for the community to contribute to your survival. Often, this includes retiring someone early, or limiting them to staying near or in camp if a caretaker isn't around. In some cases, these cats do end up going to the Houses - not that anyone wants to do that, per se, but sometimes it's just better to let the apprentice who can't learn basic hunting or fighting techniques go be a kittypet, where they'll be safe and warm and cared for their entire life.

The way a Clan decides if a cat needs to leave the territories entirely is pretty simple: if the cat is in significant enough danger from their issues that they need a guard with them at all times, even when they're in camp, it's just not a life anyone considers worth living. The Clans may have contempt for kittypets, but they're not fools; they know that kittypets live longer than any other class of cat in the known world, and they don't have to struggle. The logic then follows that their challenged Clanmate won't have to struggle either, so it's best to ensure their safety and happiness and take them to the Houses. Not anyone's favorite thing to do, but they consider it for the best.

Now, for less intense disorders, such as cat-ADHD or cat-anxiety (simply referred to as "nervousness"), where the cat can function but just has a few "quirks", no one would probably think twice about them as anything but that cat being that cat. Little Cherrypaw is just a fidgety molly who's easily distracted, she can't help that. Better get her a mentor who can keep her active and help her focus in her best way. Oh, and Ravenkit? Yes, yes, he's scared by default, so let's all approach him carefully and back off when he starts to shake. Hey, don't get upset with Mosstail, she's wandering in her mind again. You know she does that sometimes. Don't shake her, she'll get upset and yell. Just let her come back when she's ready.

The nice thing about Clan life is that the community adjusts to whatever issues crop up as quickly and as well as it can, because they need to work together to survive. This can cause friction sometimes, yes, as we've seen in CL with Bluestar - some things are harder than others to work around. But warriors care deeply for each other by default, and they'll do whatever it takes to keep each other alive and happy. If that means taking extra precautions to keep a wobbly cat standing, or letting an apprentice sprint off their energy until they can come back and focus again, or learning how to speak in sign language with a deaf warrior, then they've got no problems with that.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

VERY LONG SUBMISSION SORRY I HAVE A LOT TO SAY

SELF DIAGNOSED "I'M SO NICE" NPD CULTURE IS. LITERALLY ALWAYS KNOWING YOU HAD SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU. BUT SOCIETY HAS SPOONFED YOU THE PROPAGANDISTIC IDEALS OF NARC DEMONISATION SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE FRESH OUT THE WOMB, SO EVEN THOUGH YOU PERSONALLY BELIEVED YOU DIDN'T DEMONISE NPD, YOU NEVER ONCE CONSIDERED HAVING IT BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS TOLD YOURSELF "I DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE NPD, I'M WAY TOO NICE FOR THAT!"

BUT YOU STILL KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU. CLUSTER B PERSONALITY DISORDER SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.

"HEY WAIT, I SEEM TO RELATE TO BPD EXPERIENCES!!! THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!"

IT WAS NOT BPD. THE THINGS I FOUND RELATABLE WERE JUST GENERAL CLUSTER B SYMPTOMS OR EXPLAINABLE BY SOMETHING ELSE.

SEVERE IDENTITY ISSUES? JUST NPD.

HAVING A FP AND PLACING YOUR SELF WORTH AND EMOTIONAL STATE IN THEM? ANY PERSONALITY DISORDER CAN HAVE A FP.

SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS? IT'S PROBABLY NPD WHEN I'M MET WITH DIRECT CRITICISM / RUDENESS / AND I FEEL INSANELY OFFENDED OR ATTACKED AND INSTINCTIVELY AND UNCONTROLLABLY GET SUPER DEFENSIVE AND COMBATIVE AND GRASP AT ANYTHING I CAN TO "GET BACK" AT THEM TO COPE WITH FEELING LIKE I JUST GOT FUCKING STABBED IN THE CHEST

FEAR OF ABANDONMENT? CHILDHOOD UPBRINGING + TRAUMA LOL ALSO IT CRUSHES MY EGO BADLY THAT PEOPLE FIND ME SO INSUFFERABLE THAT THEY NEVER WANT TO TALK TO ME AGAIN SO LOWKEY NPD TOO

SUICIDAL THREATS? UMM OK SO THIS IS AN ENTIRE STORYTIME FOR ANOTHER SUBMISSION SO JUST. GO FIND IT FROM MY ANON SIGNOFF TAG IF YOU'RE CURIOUS. TLDR I WAS 10 AND PLAYING ROYALE HIGH 💀

BLACK AND WHITE THINKING? AUTISM. OR POSSIBLY NPD

"WOW, I FEEL LIKE I RELATE A LOT TO HPD SYMPTOMS!!!! I MUST HAVE BOTH BPD AND HPD!"

HPD IS BARELY TALKED ABOUT EVEN IN PD SPACES, THE DSM CRITERIA FOR IT IS VAGUE AND UNSPECIFIC AND WACKY MAKING IT DIFFICULT TO ACCURATELY SELF DIAGNOSE IT (OR EVEN ACCURATELY DIAGNOSE IT IN GENERAL), AND ALL OF MY HPD SYMPTOMS CAN BE EXPLAINED BY SOMETHING ELSE.

UNSTABLE EMOTIONS? LITERALLY JUST CLUSTER B AND AUTISM.

ATTENTION SEEKING + TWEAKING WHEN NO ATTENTION? MOSTLY JUST NPD, BUT COULD ALSO BE SOMEWHAT CATALYSTED BY MY INSANELY EXTROVERTED, OUTGOING AND SOCIALLY DEPENDENT PERSONALITY.

DRAMATIC BEHAVIOUR? I HAVE MANY OUTBURSTS OR EPISODES OF LOSING MY SHIT BECAUSE OF A COMBINATION OF TRAUMA, AUTISM, AND JUST BEING CLUSTER B.

EXAGGERATED AND OVER-THE-TOP PERSONA? THAT IS LITERALLY JUST THE ARTIFICIAL PERSONA I MOLDED MYSELF INTO BECAUSE MY NPD THOUGHT IT'D MAKE EVERYONE LOVE ME BUT MY NPD SWEARS THIS IS THE REAL ME EVEN THOUGH I'M JUST FABRICATING MY PERSONALITY TO BE CLOSER TO THE IDEALISED ME I HAVE IN MY HEAD.

HAVING "STRONG OPINIONS" THAT ARE MALLEABLE AND DEPENDENT ON THOSE AROUND ME? PROBABLY A COMBINATION OF BEING AN FE DOMINANT IN TYPOLOGY (THIS MEANS MY MORALS AND DECISIONS ARE BASED ON HOW SOMETHING AFFECTS OTHERS) AND BEING LOW EMPATHY + COMPASSION (SOMETIMES I CAN'T UNDERSTAND OR CARE FOR HOW SOMETHING WILL AFFECT OTHERS, BUT I TRY AND GUESS / ASSUME WHAT THE RIGHT THING TO DO IS ANYWAYS BECAUSE I'M A GOOD PERSON) *SORRY FOR THE TYPOLOGY MENTION IN A PSYCHOLOGICAL CONTEXT I THINK MANY PEOPLE FUCKING HATE THAT IN PSYCHOLOGY/MENTAL HEALTH SPACES I DON'T TREAT IT LIKE ASTROLOGY OKAY? 😭 I JUST THINK IT'S A GREAT TOOL TO EXPLAIN AND CATEGORISE THE ASPECTS OF YOUR PERSONALITY UNRELATED TO MENTAL ILLNESS OR TRAUMA SINCE EVERY TYPOLOGY SYSTEM IS UNIQUE

THE HPD SELF DIAGNOSIS WAS ON A WHIM BTW I WAS REALLY STUPID ABOUT THAT .. ☹️ I HEARD "PDS ARE VERY COMMONLY COMORBID" AND I TOOK THAT AND JUST DIAGNOSED MYSELF WITH WHATEVER I FOUND SLIGHTLY RELATABLE. I SAW A VID OF SOMEONE WITH HPD TALKING ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCE + THEY MENTIONED SOMETHING LIKE "WE HAVE A GOD COMPLEX BUT WE HATE OURSELVES AT THE SAME TIME" WHICH HELPED ME COME TO TERMS WITH MY EGO AND GRANDIOSITY (WHILE STILL THINKING IT WAS BPD AND HPD), SO I SELF DIAGNOSED MYSELF WITH NPD TOO . WHILE ONLY DOING THE BARE MINIMUM OF RESEARCH 😟 LIKE OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T THINK NPD WAS Symptoms: Kills people, eats babies, manipulates everyone, takes over the world, is ONLY CAPABLE of feeling EVIL and can NEVER be kind EVER, CAUSE I WAS CONSCIOUSLY ACCEPTING OF PWNPD EVEN THOUGH I HAD SOME DEMONISATION STILL SUBCONSCIOUSLY INTERNALISED BECAUSE OF WHAT SOCIETY SPOONFEEDS US + ABSOLUTELY NOBODY IS 100% FREE OF AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT OF SUBCONSCIOUS INTERNALISED BIGOTRY BUT I BASICALLY HAD JUST JUMPED THE GUN

AFTER A WHILE I LOWKEY REALISED THAT BPD AND HPD DID NOT SEEM TO FIT ME . AND I UNDIAGNOSED MYSELF WITH NPD TOO CAUSE THE TWO MISDIAGNOSES MADE ME ASSUME I DIDN'T HAVE A PD AT ALL. SO I HAD A SHORT PERIOD OF "DAMN I GUESS I DON'T HAVE ANY DISORDERS THAT EXPLAIN WHY I'M SO FUCKED UP AND INSANE AND MENTALLY UNWELL"

BEFORE I FOUND OUT MY FP HAD NPD. AND I WAS LIKE "WAIT, REALLY? BUT THEY'RE SO NICE TO ME... HONESTLY, IT MAKES SENSE". AND THAT MOTIVATED ME TO ACTUALLY DO RESEARCH ON NPD BECAUSE THIS TOLD ME I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT ENOUGH. I WANTED TO UNDERSTAND THEM.

THAT WAS BASICALLY HOW I STARTED TO REALISE I HAD NPD. I TRIED DENYING A LOT OF CORRELATIONS . AND I NEVER SUSPECTED I HAD NPD FOR YEARS BECAUSE THE COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS HAD NORMALISED SO MANY THINGS TO ME + I QUITE UNSUCCESSFULLY TRIED BOTTLING UP THINGS I THOUGHT WERE MEAN (WHICH BASICALLY MADE ME BELIEVE I'M SECRETLY AN AWFUL PERSON AND NOBODY KNOWS IT) . I THOUGHT MY GRANDIOSE FANTASIES WERE NORMAL UNTIL I WAS LIKE 15. I THOUGHT NEVER BEING ABLE TO COMPREHEND YOU'RE IN THE WRONG BUT PRETENDING YOU DO AND APOLOGISING TO "DO THE RIGHT THING" WAS NORMAL. I THOUGHT MY LEVEL OF EMPATHY WAS NORMAL. I THOUGHT MY JEALOUSY AND ENVY WERE NNORMAL. I NEVER WORDED MY THOUGHTS OF CONTEMPT AND SUPERIORITY TO OTHERS IN A WAY THAT WAS LIKE "HEH... YOU'RE SO PATHETIC.... I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU" IT WAS MORE LIKE "LOL I'M _ AND THEY'RE NOT" SO IT WASN'T OBVIOUS TO ME THAT THIS WASN'T NORMAL . BUT WHEN I DID WORD IT THAT WAY, I DIDN'T THINK I WAS A NARC I JUST THOUGHT I WAS SECRETLY AN ASSHOLE 😭 I SERIOUSLY NEVER THOUGHT MY KINDNESS HAD SELFISH INTENTIONS I THOUGHT IT WAS NORMAL TO ONLY BE NICE FOR PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU ┛◠ ┛ ANYWAYS IT'S 2025 AND I AM NO LONGER BLINDED BY BIAS OR DELUSION COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MY PROBLEM IS NPD!!!!!!!!! AND LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE I THINK . I AM 16 AND GONNA "TRY TO GET DIAGNOSED" SOON (NOT GOING TO EVER SAY "I THINK I HAVE NPD". I'M GONNA SPECIFICALLY MENTION ALL MY NARC TRAITS TO MY THERAPIST AND WORD THEM IN A VERY TEXTBOOK NPD WAY WITHOUT EVER LYING I'M JUST GOING OUT OF MY WAY TO TELL THE TRUTH AND WORDING IT IN A STEREOTYPICAL NPD WAY)

THX 4 READING I LOAV U (^з^)-☆Chu!!

— 🍋‍🟩🍃

[pt: very long submission sorry i have a lot to say

self diagnosed "i'm so nice" npd culture is. literally always knowing you had something wrong with you. but society has spoonfed you the propagandistic ideals of narc demonisation since the day you were fresh out the womb, so even though you personally believed you didn't demonise npd, you never once considered having it because you always told yourself "i definitely don't have npd, i'm way too nice for that!"

but you still knew there was something seriously fucking wrong with you. cluster b personality disorder sounds about right.

"hey wait, i seem to relate to bpd experiences!!! this is what's wrong with me!"

it was not bpd. the things i found relatable were just general cluster b symptoms or explainable by something else.

severe identity issues? just npd.

having a fp and placing your self worth and emotional state in them? any personality disorder can have a fp.

sudden mood swings? it's probably npd when i'm met with direct criticism / rudeness / and i feel insanely offended or attacked and instinctively and uncontrollably get super defensive and combative and grasp at anything i can to "get back" at them to cope with feeling like i just got fucking stabbed in the chest

fear of abandonment? childhood upbringing + trauma lol also it crushes my ego badly that people find me so insufferable that they never want to talk to me again so lowkey npd too

suicidal threats? umm ok so this is an entire storytime for another submission so just. go find it from my anon signoff tag if you're curious. tldr i was 10 and playing royale high 💀

black and white thinking? autism. or possibly npd

"wow, i feel like i relate a lot to hpd symptoms!!!! i must have both bpd and hpd!"

hpd is barely talked about even in pd spaces, the dsm criteria for it is vague and unspecific and wacky making it difficult to accurately self diagnose it (or even accurately diagnose it in general), and all of my hpd symptoms can be explained by something else.

unstable emotions? literally just cluster b and autism.

attention seeking + tweaking when no attention? mostly just npd, but could also be somewhat catalysted by my insanely extroverted, outgoing and socially dependent personality.

dramatic behaviour? i have many outbursts or episodes of losing my shit because of a combination of trauma, autism, and just being cluster b.

exaggerated and over-the-top persona? that is literally just the artificial persona i molded myself into because my npd thought it'd make everyone love me but my npd swears this is the real me even though i'm just fabricating my personality to be closer to the idealised me i have in my head.

having "strong opinions" that are malleable and dependent on those around me? probably a combination of being an fe dominant in typology (this means my morals and decisions are based on how something affects others) and being low empathy + compassion (sometimes i can't understand or care for how something will affect others, but i try and guess / assume what the right thing to do is anyways because i'm a good person) *sorry for the typology mention in a psychological context i think many people fucking hate that in psychology/mental health spaces i don't treat it like astrology okay? 😭 i just think it's a great tool to explain and categorise the aspects of your personality unrelated to mental illness or trauma since every typology system is unique

the hpd self diagnosis was on a whim btw i was really stupid about that .. ☹️ i heard "pds are very commonly comorbid" and i took that and just diagnosed myself with whatever i found slightly relatable. i saw a vid of someone with hpd talking about their experience + they mentioned something like "we have a god complex but we hate ourselves at the same time" which helped me come to terms with my ego and grandiosity (while still thinking it was bpd and hpd), so i self diagnosed myself with npd too . while only doing the bare minimum of research 😟 like obviously i didn't think npd was symptoms: kills people, eats babies, manipulates everyone, takes over the world, is only capable of feeling evil and can never be kind ever, cause i was consciously accepting of pwnpd even though i had some demonisation still subconsciously internalised because of what society spoonfeeds us + absolutely nobody is 100% free of at least a little bit of subconscious internalised bigotry but i basically had just jumped the gun

after a while i lowkey realised that bpd and hpd did not seem to fit me . and i undiagnosed myself with npd too cause the two misdiagnoses made me assume i didn't have a pd at all. so i had a short period of "damn i guess i don't have any disorders that explain why i'm so fucked up and insane and mentally unwell"

before i found out my fp had npd. and i was like "wait, really? but they're so nice to me… honestly, it makes sense". and that motivated me to actually do research on npd because this told me i didn't understand it enough. i wanted to understand them.

that was basically how i started to realise i had npd. i tried denying a lot of correlations . and i never suspected i had npd for years because the cognitive distortions had normalised so many things to me + i quite unsuccessfully tried bottling up things i thought were mean (which basically made me believe i'm secretly an awful person and nobody knows it) . i thought my grandiose fantasies were normal until i was like 15. i thought never being able to comprehend you're in the wrong but pretending you do and apologising to "do the right thing" was normal. i thought my level of empathy was normal. i thought my jealousy and envy were nnormal. i never worded my thoughts of contempt and superiority to others in a way that was like "heh… you're so pathetic…. i'm so much better than you" it was more like "lol i'm _ and they're not" so it wasn't obvious to me that this wasn't normal . but when i did word it that way, i didn't think i was a narc i just thought i was secretly an asshole 😭 i seriously never thought my kindness had selfish intentions i thought it was normal to only be nice for people to like you ┛◠ ┛ anyways it's 2025 and i am no longer blinded by bias or delusion cognitive distortions and i know for a fact that my problem is npd!!!!!!!!! and literally nothing else i think . i am 16 and gonna "try to get diagnosed" soon (not going to ever say "i think i have npd". i'm gonna specifically mention all my narc traits to my therapist and word them in a very textbook npd way without ever lying i'm just going out of my way to tell the truth and wording it in a stereotypical npd way)

thx 4 reading i loav u (^з^)-☆chu!!]

[blustarprint]

au doodles and sketches

I am crap at naming things so the au doesn’t have a name yet.

Here are Some of the mains (might draw bobbet and pebble at some point, but it depends on how I’m feeling)

They’re all so chaotic I love them (just now realizing I gave sprout og dandy’s pose but for my sake we’re gonna ignore that)

If anyway can’t read my handwriting, gingers saying: “You don’t fuck with that shit, Cosmo” Also off topic but i love that Rodger’s a detective, he can just stay that across every universe and it’s wonderful to me/j

anywho info dumping under the cut about all of it if you are actually curious. Warning, it’s not that organized.

-

also sorry if there’s any weird grammar, spelling mistakes, or repetition. I was tired when writing a lot of it.

The whole premise is that people have slowly gone missing in this town (gardenveiw)

starting with dandy (when most of the cast (?) were children) and ending with sprout and Cosmo, at least thus far in the timeline I’ve made up in my head. though it should be noted that the disappearances have happened years apart, the only two that are weirdly close together are sprout and Cosmo (specifically by 3 months)

The mains (and a few others) are these creatures called twisteds 1 because they are like a twisted version of a normal toon (ex: weird anatomy, voice, appearance… they are like the creepy pasta of the toon world. 2 because I’m not original.

- In a way these beings have grown to be a sort of spread around myth on the small town, so towns people know about them. Somewhat. The most they know is that twisteds can be dangerous. (A Little context behind the Ginger and Cosmo image)

A lot of Toon’s do obviously just assume it was some story that was passed around to simply make your kids go to bed on time though, so not many of the present toons actual believe in it. —-

anywho here’s some things about the town:

it’s half surrounded by forest. mysterious black liquid has been found in several parts of the woods and in town, often in decaying and dying things. No more croppps. pretty small town. It is somewhat in the middle of nowhere after all one of those towns where everyone knows everyone and they are weird about new people I’d call it a toon’s version of a boom town that somehow didn’t turn into a ghost town really weird history, may or may not get into that. Currently has several cut off areas, luckily not near peoples houses, but no one will really explain what’s happening to any of the toon’s

random things about twisteds as like a species:

they can shapeshift in the sense of seeming taller or having sharper nails. Most of them can’t entirely change identity just physical attributes. Their ichor seems more poisonous. Can and will hide out as normal toon’s. Don’t ask why, it depends on which one you’re talking to. if your friend goes missing and you see them again after like… a month. run. (Don’t be like cosmo, he’s not dead but he’s also not safe) what do they even want? Where did they come from? who knows?? They won’t answer that. some have different abilities (ex: Astro can make people hallucinate). don’t shoot them, it won’t work they seem to find missing people or are the reasons for a toon’s disappearance. most twisteds don’t look entirely alive, but they are. it’s hard to tell if they can turn people or if certain toons have always just been weird creatures. Eyes look different from a normal toon, but it’s really hard to tell.

Also here’s some random little blips about characters:

Rodger technically isn’t a detective, more like deputy, but hey he’s trying his best. Single father yhe entire case is kinda driving him insane. rodger is also the only person who can really help that cares rn, but even that realization takes him more than a moment. Sprout went missing and was presumed dead r sometime after Cosmo came back to visit the town and his family. cosmo is now sticking around to help Ginger and some of his other family members with their like family owned bakery. That and he can’t fathom how sprout is actually dead and wants to figure out what happened to him. (After which he goes looking and starts to feel like he’s insane) sprout learned to cook and bake from cosmo’s family, so he’d also initially been helping out with the bakery too. prior to everything he seemed normal. Ginger is trying to convince Cosmo to let it go because the last person who went snooping did not come back. she’s just trying to move past the whole situation, she’s seen enough to know that interfering was stupid. dandy went missing when he was around 9. along with pebble whi quickly followed his owner off into the woods. after that is was Astro (3 years after dandy so he was like 12) then it was Vee (5 years after Astro, so she was 17) and then Shelly (2 years after Vee so she was 19) and sprout’s disappearance was random, years after all the others, but he may not have been a normal toon in the first place.

anyway I’m planning to draw something of a comic for it, name it, and make am actual organized post about it. It may take me a bit though (like a month) due to my life being kinda messy right now.

[isshonihongo]

5.5) Verb Ending “Families” - Part 2

Hello and welcome back! Last post we talked about several verb endings. This time let’s get back into it and finish off the verb ending “families”.

【Two Versions - Same Meaning】

So far we’ve looked at 3 Ending “families” - ない、たい and ます. If you take an Ichidan verb (let’s say 起きる) and a Godan verb (let’s say 飲む), what are their negative forms?

起きない and 飲まない or 起きません and 飲みません

Both end in ない or ません. The same thing will happen with the other endings we’ve talked about. It doesn’t matter if the verb is Ichidan or if it’s Godan, the endings look the same and are the same.

In this post however, the endings will look slightly different, depending on what type of verb we have. The main thing is to be aware that even though they may look different, they still have the same meaning.

【The Potential Form Endings】

First let’s look at the potential endings. This is when you want to say “is able to do” or “can”. For Ichidan verbs it appears as -られる. For Godan verbs it requires the え sound adapters and simply appears as -る. Let’s look at some examples:

There are 2 things to notice.

・する becomes a completely different verb, できる.

・くる changes its stem to こ and adds the -られる version of the ending.

By adding the potential form endings, something remarkable happens. All of the new verbs we form will be Ichidan verbs!

From there, in place of the final -る we have 6 other endings that we can attach to make new verb forms. They are:

ない - not able to do たい - wants to be able to do ます - can do (polite) れば - if able to do… た - was able to do / successfully did て - able to do, and then/so …

Here are some examples with the Godan verb 歌う:

Incredibly, you can end up with 24 endings - just from the potential form alone (歌えなかった、歌えたくない、歌えました etc.). The possibilities and the flexibility are enough to make your head spin.

【ら Removal】

Before we move on to the next ending family, we should talk about this. For Ichidan verbs, there is a phenomenon known as ら Removal that you may encounter. In order to say these verbs easier and slightly quicker, some people remove the ら from the potential form*. This would result in saying 信じれる or 教えれる instead of the longer forms. Feel free to do this when you speak / write, but keep in mind that it is informal.

【The Receptive Form Endings】

Next let’s look at the receptive endings. This is used when you want to express that something was done to someone or something. In English it is very similar to the passive voice SOMETIMES, but it is not exactly the same.

For Ichidan verbs, it appears as -られる. For Godan verbs, it needs the あ sound adapters and appears as -れる. Here are your examples:

Just like with the potential ending, the る final character can be replaced by 6 other endings.

ない - does not receive the action of the verb たい - wants to receive the action of the verb ます - receives the action of the verb (polite) れば - if [topic / subject] receives the action of the verb, then… た - received the action of the verb て - receives / received the action of the verb, and (then)…

This might be the hardest set to understand so let’s see some examples, this time with the Ichidan verb 建てる.

Because buildings, roads, etc. don’t have desires, 建てられたい doesn’t make sense. However, the -られたい / -れたい ending can make sense with other verbs.

【Confusing -られる and -られる】

For Godan verbs (and する and くる) the potential endings and the receptive endings are different.

The verb 選ぶ (えらぶ) means “to choose”. Its potential form is 選べる while its receptive form is 選ばれる. No problem.

However for Ichidan verbs, there might be a mixup.

The verb 教える (おしえる) means “to teach”. Its potential form AND its receptive form are both 教えられる！How do we distinguish them?

The answer is context. If you’re lucky, the writer / speaker will use ら removal (only possible for the potential form) and then you’ll be able to see / hear the difference. Other than that it’s really up to context.

The good news is that the choice of topic, subject and particles will most times make it perfectly clear which form is being used. For the remaining times, it will be best just to ask!

At least now you are aware of the possibility for confusion. That is a great start.

【The Causative Form Endings】

Lastly let’s look at the causative endings. These endings are used when you want to say that someone either made or let another person do something. (Imagine a mother making a child do homework vs letting a child play games.)

For Ichidan verbs it appears as させる. For Godan verbs, it needs the あ sound adapters and appears as せる. Here are your examples:

By now you know the deal 😂 Here are the 6 other endings:

ない - does not make / let someone 〜 たい - wants to make / let someone 〜 ます - makes / let’s someone 〜 (polite) れば - if made to / allowed to 〜, then… た - made / let someone 〜 て - makes /made / lets/ let someone 〜, and (then)…

Now let’s look at some examples with the Godan verb 言う:

The particles used in causative sentences will tell you which meaning is being used. It all comes down to whether there is willful action taking place or not.

【Conclusion】

Whew, that was a LOT of endings! If you just take one verb and think of all the different things you can now say, you’d be amazed. On top of that, think of how many verbs you know by now. It truly is breathtaking. 👏🏾 Here is a summary of this and the previous post:

I hope you let all this information percolate and then come back and reread this and the last post. I also have a post about the basics of receptive and causative sentences here. It will take a while to absorb everything, but once you do, you’ll be unstoppable! If you have any questions feel free to ask, and I’ll see you next post!

Rice & Peace

– AL (アル)

👋🏾

*There is only ら removal with potential form verbs. Receptive forms are left as is. Also, it depends on which region of Japan you are in.

[prince-liest]

since you acknowledged vox and valentino as a uh. less than healthy relationship (lol) several times (going feral over what vox was implying in that latest 666 fic), do you think there's ever the chance of alastor feeling... probably not protective haha but maybe possessive over vox the next time he's a little banged up? alternatively, how else do you think alastor would react if whatever they were getting up to is halted by vox nursing some kind of injury from one of his and val's fights? - ✨

I think it really depends on how Vox presents the situation, to be honest! They, uh, bang each other up a lot themselves, hahaha, and Alastor doesn't really register it as problematic. A lot of writing 666 is balancing the idea that these guys are living an existence where the a real life normal-meter really can't accurately be applied, and also maintaining that they still do have personal boundaries and lines that might be crossed.

A reminder of some (but not all) of the fucked up things that Vox and Alastor have done to each other over the course of 666:

One murder attempt that Vox didn't draw a line in the sand over

Vox got annoyed and slapped Alastor across the face hard enough to knock him down, with no warning or prelude, in a sexual context

Vox slammed Alastor's skull into the ground, out of anger, several times until he was dazed and bleeding

Alastor literally tried to eat a chunk of Vox's shoulder, most likely resulting in the reverse of the scenario you're describing: Vox having to take it easier with Val because he has a gaping shoulder wound courtesy of Alastor and can't lift his arm

About three dozen bucketfuls of severely under-negotiated and sometimes not-at-all negotiated edgeplay (as in, not safe-sane-consensual) kink from both ends, including but not limited to: choking (via hands and via dick), fearplay, deliberate boundary-crossing wrt touch, hypnosis, painplay, bloodplay, wounding, and gaslighting for the purpose of humiliation

Like, Vox asking "I want to make sure I didn't cross any boundaries!" in the second 666 fic does not in any way absolve him of having deliberately crossed about thirty of them immediately prior, and the fact that Alastor enjoyed it is mostly just because Alastor is also fucked up. Some people seemed quite surprised at Alastor crossing so many boundaries in the wireplay fic compared to all the shit Vox had pulled prior to that point, and I think it's because he, unlike Vox, didn't pay lip service to it, though they both do about the same amount of actual "keeping an eye on things".

Them caring about each other does not mean that their concept of "boundaries" or even "okay things to do to another person in an intimate setting or otherwise" aren't very, very colored by them being demonic overlords who live in hell and haven't so much as waved 'hello' to a single healthy intimate relationship in the past hundred years.

Vox having to take a breather because he has some kind of injury from Val is, unless he's actively making a 'this is fucked up and I'm opening up to be vulnerable and unhappy about it' kind of deal about it, is not really going to ping on Alastor's radar as a problem.

And Vox isn't going to make that kind of deal about it because that isn't how he sees his relationship with Valentino. Yes, Val often treats Vox in abusive ways in 666. That is also colored by both of them being demonic overlords who live in hell, and Vox treats certain aspects of it as frustrating and upsetting (and often takes that out on Valentino - hence the frequent off-again-on-again nature of their relationship), but he doesn't actually, like, see their relationship the way that we do.

He loves Val. Val loves him. To him, the rest is either normal overlord behavior or their own damage, and they've found a balance where the general response to a shitty happening is, "Eh, we've worked through worse."

TL;DR: Valentino, Vox, and Alastor all need to have "DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!" stapled across their foreheads. To paraphrase Bay: They're in hell. The insane acts of violence are basically a love language at this point.

[redd956]

Cool (sorry, I don’t know how to start messages lol). I will say that it’s fairly long and might be a bit complicated and confusing so I apologize in advance; I can clear up anything in a comment if need be. Anyways, with that said:

Regarding worldbuilding creatures or animals (flora and fauna), how do you decide what features/inspirations you use when building specific creatures (from terrestrial to underwater to space to underground to all the Pokémon types (that’s a joke but you hopefully get the idea))?

Or more specifically (or not), how do you mix features that seemingly wouldn’t work together in a way that’s complimentary to the creature at hand? How many features would be considered too many (ex giving a single animal like 20 different feature and basically making them a demigod)? Too little (probably not applicable but idk)? How do you decide what features would go on a specific creature? Is it up to the world builder or would it biologically have to at least make sense (probably the former but still leaving it because why not?)?

Not sure if I’m making sense (it’s quite late and words are losing coherency in my brain), but I ask this because, for some context, I have a creature that I’m creating that, background wise, is a genetically modified living weapon comprised of several different homemade (???) creatures I have in my world. However, the scientists/creators didn’t account for different features fighting/not working as intended (for example, the creatures inherited acidic saliva but not the resistance to it which essentially lead to their mouths dissolving from their own saliva) as well as there being what is essentially several different creatures all mashed into one body fighting for dominance but on a genetic level.

I do apologize if this question doesn’t make sense (kinda looking like nonsense to me as well. Translating thoughts into coherent words is hard), I’m still in the process of making the reference sheet for it and also just in general trying to figure out the thoughts of the concept and again I can clarify in a comment, but how would this affect the creature I’m building? What things should I consider?

I hope this isn’t somehow annoying or strange/weirdly specific question so feel free to ignore/take your time with it. Hope you’re having a good day/night, are taking care of yourself, staying hydrated and all that jazz :]

-idk (also will just say this now before I forget, I am @idkanonymystuff . Just for future reference and also context I guess? Idk)

(Also, on a bit of a random note, I have a video that I think is very helpful/informative/cool about a worldbuilding process. I don’t know if you know it but I could share it, if that’s alright with you. Also I think it’d be epic if you made a yt channel. You have a lot of good worldbuilding knowledge and prompts)

I understand you completely

Creature Features

One thing I try to think about when designing creatures/monsters is the evolutionary reasons for certain features. Most animals have evolved to have features assists with mating, hunting, hiding, defending, or communicating. The more intelligent a creature the more likely they are have features that allow them to use tools.

The environment is another good thing to factor in. Think about how creatures differ depending whether they live in a desert or arctic environment. For instance arctic predator animals have innate hearing to pinpoint creatures underneath the snow based off of sound. Insects in sandy environments learn to burrow and make dens/colonies in the sand.

Sometimes though I add some features simply because I think it would be cool.

Balancing Monster/Creature Abilities

There's many different techniques to keep a creature design balanced. There's some considerations I try to remember, mostly based off of what I'm using the design for outside of base worldbuilding.

Making Sense

For your exact circumstances dear asker, this part doesn't really need to be taken by heart, but for others getting into creature design try to make it make sense.

Abilities, appearance, and/or even size all have evolutionary reasons to exists (unless genetically altered, looking at you killer bees). Whether a creature have camouflage to hunt or hide, or a venomous bite to easily digest prey, or large claws to dig dens; there's more reason then just cool-factor.

Take for instance Cats. They're overpowered. The domestic cat is one of the most prolific predator animals on the planet, and their widespread populations prove it, for cats are very much responsible for dwindling species of all kinds.

They have night vision, but are colorblind. They can leap up to 8 ft (240 cm) high, and typically land on their feet, except for when landing a short distance because they don't have time to calibrate for their fall. Their tails allow for their excellent balance, but provide a target from "bigger fish". They have sharp fangs and tough claws, both modeled in such a way that they can use bacteria to infect enemy cats after fights. That's why cat scratches always puff up.

But the cat isn't perfect. They're at a disadvantage against airborne threats. They are quiet and intelligent, but have little self control. Just like you and me they are vulnerable to genetic disorders, illness, and more. Their thin skin allows for easy lacerations against them, and their small size makes a plethora of large creatures equal competition.

All of these features of a cat are insane stand alone, but we are so familiar with such an animal and the evolutionary reasons for these features that it doesn't occur to us.

Monster Versus Characters

Your creature exists in a world, often times with other people or intelligent creatures in it. The longer it has been around the more others would know about it. In a militaristic sci-fi this looks like squads of teams dedicated to eradicating certain alien threats. In an Elvish setting maybe it's a warning that an ancient scholar details.

Think about how the people around your creature interact with it. Maybe they've played a role in the feature it has developed through selectively breeding, pollution, over-hunting/fishing, or just straight up evolution.

This is also fun to think about character-wise for a monster character, as we get to learn a lot about them through how the world views them (and how they react to such a view).

Story Role

Sometimes powerful creatures and monsters serve a major worldbuilding-storytelling purpose, like an assumed god or local legend. They serve a role in maintaining an ecosystem maybe, from a powerful predator to a dragon meant to cull humans and keep them in-check.

The roles a creature can play can be just as interesting. Their power doesn't have to continue come from their ability, but their intelligence or connections too.

Weaknesses & Flaws

Weaknesses and flaws can equally make a creature design interesting. They allow lots of room for balance, and are important to characters in general. There's many different places to pull from for potential ideas for weaknesses. Some could originate from the environment that the creature is used to, such as a fluffy arctic animal would have a hard time under the blaring sun of the desert.

Other weaknesses could come with advantages of different features, such as a blind animal with innate hearing.

Some can be simple and severe, such as a giant gem on the back for a strike point of weakness. There can also be weaknesses to certain elements, magic, minerals, or even weapon types.

Gameplay Interests

When designing a monster or creature with the specific intent for players to go up against it in either a video game or ttrpg, it's important to make the monster "defeatable" in some sort of way. This doesn't mean that the monster needs to be in killable health, but perhaps has mechanics that allow it to be blindsighted or bartered with.

Take for interests the various monsters in Lethal Company. Not all of them are solved simply with death by shovel. There is many other ways to avoid some, and get the job done.

Blending in w/the established world

To make my creatures or monsters blend in I pull from the world around them, using already established rules or grounds.

Examples

Apex predator/large member of an environment's food chain

Matches the establish tech/magic system

There's general knowledge or worldbuild mystery surrounding the creature

Making it interact with existing forces, like a certain mineral, symbiotic species, specific plant

Maybe if it's poisonous it uses an already established poison

Design alone plays a major role. It wouldn't make a lot of sense in most contexts for a super alien-looking outerspace style creature to inhabit a dry forest, without explanation (invasive alien species perhaps) or similar forces at play (sci-fi space theme).

Take advantage of the freedom of worldbuilding

You don't have to be sold on a design immediately. Allow yourself to experiment, dabble with designs, ridiculous concepts. Really in worldbuilding there is no exact rules.

Many major series have lots of initially wacky worldbuilding ideas and they pull them off amazingly, like Minecraft or Dungeons & Dragons.

Just make sure you're still having fun, and not turning each design into a laborious process.

[flare-the-drawer]

AWWW I LOVE METEOR THE CAT SO MUCH 🥺🥺 Le miao miao!!! 💖 what is meteor's relationship/feelings on the whole crew?

I also hate to ask this but given the cruek fates of everyone on the ship... how does Meteor.... yknow 💔

Hi! Firstly omg, first ask related to Meteor :0

I'm truly happy it could eventually reach some people who liked the concept ✨️

Secondly, regarding relationships, I made two little charts to simplify it but will still add some things (i also attributed lilac to him, as each character is associated with a color in the game):

AU Doodles link:

Pre-crash:

He basically loves every member of the ship INCLUDING Jimmy, despite him not being that friendly to Meteor. He favors Daisuke of them all because he is the first human he met on the Tulpar :D

Some little facts:

- Despite not being allowed to come in the cockpit for security reasons, Curly allows Meteor to come during his shifts. The cat simply snuggles on his lap and purrs when Curly is in the pilot seat. He likes it because the purring soothes him and helps him focus. Jimmy on the other hand, is not pleased with this arrangement and never misses the occasion to remind it to Curly.

- They all talk a lot to Meteor. He doesn't understand human language but simply meows or purrs back to show his acknowledgement

- He often visits Anya at the medbay. The place is usually very calm and empty during the day, so they just vibe peacefully together

- You can find him most of the time with Daisuke who is completely fond of him. He likes to sit on his shoulder, like some kind of pokemon, and even sometimes goes on the vents to help Daisuke grab something.

- Despite despising Meteor, Jimmy still thinks in the back of his mind that he is somewhat cute. He'll never admit it

- Swansea started to appreciate Meteor when he saw how much of a positive impact, and especially on Daisuke, he had on the crew. He sees him as Daisuke's tiny guardian.

- (thanks to @cookiemunches for this one) Daisuke keeps some of the 'meat' on the ship to feed him. While Curly purposely lets it slide, Jimmy isn't so kind and reprimands Daisuke every time he catches him.

Post-crash:

His relation with the crew members is quite similar, except that Jimmy's attitude towards him has gotten worse. It's the reason why Meteor fears him, (though he can't bring himself to hate him), while he is only afraid of Curly because of how severe his injuries are.

A few facts:

- He alternates sleeping with Daisuke and Anya as he knows they are the two weakest crew members emotionally speaking

- Though he's not authorised because of bacterian reasons, Meteor still comes often to the medbay to curl up on Curly's chest and purr. Curly appreciates these attempts of comforting him despite the hurt that his weight causes him.

- Meteor's blue eyes terrify Jimmy and worsen his paranoia, because they remind him of Curly's. This is why his hatred for him grew much bigger.

- Meteor never held a grudge against Swansea when it comes to Daisuke's death. He smelled the infection and how severe it was, and knew nothing more could be done.

And regarding your second question...

I'd like to first specify that his arrival doesn't change the fate of any of the characters, if it doesn't worsens the tensions a bit. A few elements there and there vary, but most of it stays the same.

Regarding his lore, I couldn't settle on one ending because kof kof I love him too much. So I planned two that vary depending on your choices:

I don't want to reveal too much, but I'll explain the common context of both: during the death of Swansea, Meteor is standing on top of the scene, on a piece of furniture. He is directly looking at Jimmy during the whole monologue, which only helps him diving deeper into insanity.

Once the scene is done, Jimmy sets himself a new kind of objective: catching Meteor once and for all. The two endings I'm talking about vary depending on whether he achieves this goal or not.

I will only say that one of the endings, in which he gets caught, is pretty gruesome and I hate my mind for coming to such a conclusion (but it is what would likely happen in that case because of how things are settled; it's linked with the way jimmy copes with the lack of supplies...), and the other one, in which he isn't, is here for comfort and mercy and counterbalances the other one. I called them normal and true endings

I have way more but honestly it wouldn't be very interesting to reveal everything at once; I'm even wondering if this isn't already too much :D

I would like to make some comic pages out of this au, so stay tuned! And if you have other questions, my ask box is always open ✨️

Thank you so so much again!!

[serpentface]

Could I ask what people outside of Wardi see the Odonii as? Are they respected/ridiculed/feared? I know the Finns killed the last Odomache, was that seen as sacrilegous by some of them or the other cultures?

Yeah it depends on the people involved, it's some of all the above. The most common lines of thought on Odonii are:

They are a human shield for bitchass Wardi men to hide behind.

They are something to be feared, their presence in combat indicates that the Wardi side means serious business and is likely to be dangerous in very direct, practical ways.

They are something to be feared, they are a kind of witch/possible shapeshifters.

They are respectable priestesses who serve a powerful military force.

Some weird Wardi thing IDK.

(Sometimes several of these at once)

---

One of very few commonalities across most of the Eastern Seaway peoples is broadly similar conventions of honorable combat, which is often baked in with a religious framework (violating these norms is not only dishonorable, but may be displeasing to various deities). The ones most relevant here can be summed up as:

-Noncombatants should not be killed or harmed in the regular course of combat (women, girls, prepubescent boys, and unarmed elderly men are de-facto noncombatants), fighting should be kept between men. -Violence against noncombatants becomes fully acceptable when final calls for surrender are denied (ie: if you do not surrender when given the chance prior to a siege, your civilians are fair game when it turns into a sacking) -Violence against noncombatants can be justified as retribution if someone else does it to you first (this one is shakier and governed by varying subsets of 'rules')

(Note that just because these conventions Exist does not mean that they are Universally And Unwaveringly Followed, just that they influence how warfare is practiced and that you will rarely see war leaders who Openly flout convention)

Odonii are ostensibly noncombatants (and in practice this is effectively true, they are Trained to be fully proficient in combat, but by convention do not Actually engage in the vast majority of circumstances). The practice of putting women on battlefields is a flexing of these honorable warfare conventions (and occurs in non-Wardi contexts as well), and can affect the behavior and strategies of a foe. In the context of Odonii specifically, their deaths DEMAND retribution (funerary rites for a murdered Odonii involve the slaying of the killer, and the killer's 'kin' (often in very loose senses of the word) can suffice instead- in a combat context, this means your soldiers or possibly civilians may be captured for this purpose). People fighting Wardi combatants with Odonii present not only have to work around the whole 'noncombatants on the battlefield' thing but are also generally aware that retribution for their deaths will be especially severe.

Finn culture is much less hard-patriarchal than Wardi culture but has very stark gendered divisions of labor, only men play direct roles in their warrior traditions. The fact that there are Any Imperial Wardi women in battlefield roles tends to get propagandized as "Wardi men are weak and can't fight without a mother's skirt to hide behind". (The general spirit of which is true in Some senses, in that the presence of Odonii on a battlefield is Absolutely in part a form of human shield intended to modify the foe's behavior)

Killing the Odomache would Not be seen as sacrilegious in most of the Finn sphere (outside of a small minority who practice the Faith of the Seven Faced God or syncretic folk-variants), though was seen as Dangerous on spiritual levels (in addition to very pragmatic levels) by a wider swath of the group. Most Finns practice a polytheist system that venerates a select group of gods, but doesn't Preclude the existence of others outside their core system (other systems might be wrong in claiming their gods as the Creators, but their gods might still very well exist). So they don't see The Odomache (human priestess) as The Living Face Of God Itself, a human-incarnated aspect of the one true creator god, but they DO see Odomache as one of many foreign gods, and one that could be enraged at the slaying of its high priestess.

Finn gods are not only the Best of the gods, but also have absolute power within Finn lands, so they would be able to protect their people from external divine retribution. So killing the Odomache needed to be done in ways that will please/not offend their own gods, so as to fully secure their support against any retaliation from hostile foreign deities.

Violence against 'noncombatant' Odonii was justified via honorable war conventions as retribution for Finn noncombatants that had been raped and murdered in the invasion. The official command was for all present Odonii/the Odomache to be captured alive, and for Only the Odomache to be executed (this wasn't followed very closely). The body was mutilated in beheading for display, a very insulting act but not one that will prevent the soul from moving on (the heart is the seat of the soul and is the part that should be intact for funerary rites). Her corpse was then given proper funerary rites (without honors, a cremation rather than the sky burial of esteemed dead), thus allowing her soul passage to the afterlife. In this way, the material functions of this killing (strategic psychological warfare, vengeance for the slain, a show of power and violence against the Human Embodiment of their foe that would demoralize the enemy while rallying their cause) could be fully enacted, while at least Minimizing the insult to the hostile foreign deity, preventing the Odomache's vengeful spirit from lingering, and giving their own gods no reason to deny support.

So it's not sacrilegious and the spiritual danger from enemy gods was broadly accepted as minimized. Concerns were more about how Incredibly dangerous this maneuver could be in giving their foe (who had already been VERY brutal) perceived justification for any level of retribution.

(Finnerich has also been impacted by the years of drought and some people do believe that this might in part be the god Odomache's vengeance and/or a sign that their own gods have not yet forgiven the initial surrender and are now denying them aid. The latter is the public position the current king/high priest Taighr a Tain has taken, with a hopeful bent. He's so far been very successful at holding the tenuous post-withdrawal ft. major famine situation together with 'we are being tested and will be vindicated if we remain strong and unified' messaging, using his autocratic control to efficiently implement famine responses, and courting allyship with neighboring Dain kingdoms for mutual support/defense)

---

BACK TO ODONII PERCEPTIONS-

In many contexts, they tend to have an intimidating effect.

This is on some wholly material levels- if an Odonii priestess is actually There on the battlefield, it usually means that one of their two elite warrior orders are There too (ie: the ones that have firearms, which are very rare, very costly to produce, and not in wide use at this point in history). They also tend to motivate the men fighting for them, Wardi warriors will often be distinctly more aggressive and fearless when an Odonii is present (feeling God's presence at their side, and motivated to protect and perform for the honored priestess).

In addition, belief in evil spirits and/or shapeshifters is very common among the eastern seaways peoples, and accounts of Odonii often become exaggerated into 'they have witches who can command evil powers' and/or 'they have witches who can literally transform into lions in combat' (which is an image that the order readily allows to perpetuate).

In the Wardi context, Odonii are reckoned as embodying Odomache as the divine protective mother when in combat, becoming guardian lions in a metaphysical sense. This manifests in their performance on battlefields- they wear lion skins over their armor, paint their faces red to obscure human features at a distance, perform shrieking war cries that are perfected to sound inhuman, and will attempt to evoke an enraged animal via 'frenzied' movements.

Prior to battles, Odonii lead soldiers in the kagnoma odo weapons dance, which can be intimidating at a distance- you hear drums and warhorns and chanting, you see your enemy doing weapons drills in unity (advertising their discipline, health, and readiness and enthusiasm for battle), you hear at Least one musket shot (oh shit they have gun's), and its all being led by a possible witch/shapeshifter.

Foes who have never seen an Odonii before may be very successfully intimidated by all this, those who have encountered Odonii on battlefields for years without ever seeing one turn into an actual lion might still have some doubts in the back of their mind, and even those who feel quite secure that they're not capable of shapeshifting may still be disturbed by the sight of the distant shrieking lion-skinned figure and its command of its men (there could still be evil magic at play). All these factors make Odonii fairly successful as a form of intimidation/demoralization, even among foes who have Zero shared beliefs with and/or no respect for the order in of itself.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

would i be the asshole for contacting my ex to ask them if they could stop talking about me online to a community that knows who i am? (🥐)

tw: kinda emotionally abusive relationship

bg info

me (24f) and my ex (28) were in a three month relationship three years ago following a whole year of friendship. they were my first partner and i came out as a lesbian to everyone during our relationship. when we were together, they were 24 and i was 20. i was very emotionally dependent on them when i was 20 due to mental health issues and so were they which is probably one of the reasons why our relationship was as explosive as it was. i looked up to them, my whole emotional world revolved around them, and our friendship/relationship was the only thing i had in my life at the time. they constantly asked me "hey is it even ethical that im dating you, im 4 years older, you tell me please, oh i feel like such a bad person", yet, they still continued dating me every time they would ask.

our fights were horrible and truly explosive as they broke their stuff in front of me out of anger, threw things at me and insulted me as stupid, amongst many other things. our fights usually ensued because i would ask them for reassurance and they would start panicking and screaming at me to shut up. to be fair, i would cry every time i was asking for reassurance which probably made them feel scared about losing me, so i consider myself 50% at fault for everything that happened in our relationship, i shouldve been able to talk to them in a secure manner that wouldnt trigger their abandonment issues. our fights were quite jarring and made me walk out on them several times out of fear. yet i always came back and apologized and took the whole accountability, even though i dont consider myself the only one at fault. walking out several times during fights was probably one of the worst things i could have done but at the same time i was simply scared. even when i walked out after our last fight, they begged me to come back, which i did, i apologized under tears, and yet, told them that i cant promise them to stay no matter what.. and left.

we met through tumblr and were in a medium distance relationship. after our relationship, i went to a clinic and had to learn a lot about myself, what i experienced and what i want from life. im in a very happy and healthy place now and since the end of 2021 im with my current partner whom i want to be the love of my life and whom ive started to build a life with.

context

i have my ex blocked on all social media because they used to do hour long deep dives into my blog, even as of recently (i have statcounter installed for my safety bc im paranoid about them sending me anonymous asks). at first i also used to visit their blog after our break up but stopped doing so after moving on with my life. one year after breaking up i temporarily unblocked them and explicitly asked them not to look at my social media (or at least to do it in a way in which i dont notice aka asked them not to watch my instagram stories).

while i dont visit their blog/social media because i dont want to know whats going on in their life, tumblr mutuals frequently dm me stuff like "hey i think you should know that your ex posted about you/shit talks about something that you posted". i havent asked my mutuals to tell me whenever this happens but i imagine they do so because within the tumblr space we exist, everyone kind of knows everyone (so my ex doesnt have to mention my name for people to know who theyre talking about). sometimes mutuals send screenshots of the posts so that i dont have to visit my ex's blog. last ive heard my ex joked about throwing jewelry at me and posted extensively about a tattoo that i got. my ex's behavior makes me uncomfortable and feel just as helpless as i did back then.

why i might be the asshole

im scared that they might be venting because i was more at fault in the relationship than them and that i am unconsciously deflecting. however, i talked about every detail of the relationship and this fear extensively with my therapist, friends, and partner who are of the opinion that i was young, scared, and intertwined in a relationship that was incredibly toxic. im still unsure though because my emotions frequently triggered theirs.

why they might be the asshole

i asked them once to stop visiting my social media and i feel like venting about our relationship that broke off 3 years ago to a tumblr community of friends and acquaintances is kind of unfair. however, i might be the asshole and they might just need the space for venting. i could just ignore the vents and let them heal in their own way from what ensued.

WIBTA if i confronted them again and told them that i want them to stop talking about me online? or would i be a party pooper because every person needs a space for venting?

What are these acronyms?

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello again! ❤️✨ I just realised I missed adding the prompts in my previous request, I’m so sorry 😭

Could you please do the angst alphabet for eyeless Jack for the following prompts: E H Z

Alsoooo just so you’re aware, I love reading all your work related to ej and I’m super grateful your blog exists.

E H Z w/ Eyeless Jack (angst alphabet)

I need to write more angst alphabet stuff, feels like it hardly gets requested hmmm

Prompts: Ex, heal, zestless

Notes: reader is gn, let admin cook (we are coding ej to be depressed/actively hcing him as such. ie we REALLY lean into the self isolation side of things), at least sprinkle of good endings though hooray, swapped to writing on mobile midway through

CWs: mentions of death and gore in the context of how jack feeds, mentioned murder and stalking, mentions of abusive ex partners

HEAL

EX

He's not bothered by your exs interacting with you- in most cases at least. The two of you had already ended things and you've moved on with jack, so why does he need to worry? If you give him a reason to he's simply not going to waste his time with you. End of story. He's not going to entertain any mind games

That being said, if your ex is not.. the best person... he's definitely going to be on high alert around you- even if you fall for any manipulation from their part. He sees right through their bullshit and he's going to snap you back to reality... though the downside is, his bluntness and the general callousness of his tone (which he doesn't really mean-- it's just how he sounds!) can lead to you potentially not heeding his warnings.

The moment you're in danger he's going springing into action- before he was simply staying to the side and trying to convince you something was wrong. But now he's physically either trying to keep you away from them, or interacting with them himself to secure you/your safety. This can range from inflicting fear via stalking them in the night or outright getting rid of them

change is not linear but he makes it clear that youre free to call him out when he reverts back to the habits that lead to your argument in the first place. and he takes it with grace, he did something wrong and hes going to do what he can to make amends. he would expect you to do the same if the roles were reversed- though he has a habit of not speaking up when something bothers him unless its something major

ZESTLESS

despite what zestless says, as long as its not breakup worthy, hes going to be very blunt in approaching you about things once emotions are calmed down. depending on the context he may not apologize for his stance, but will apologize for hurting you. sometimes your safety can not be compromised.

He tries his best to enter the next conversation with you post argument with an open mind and intent to work things out in both of your favors, as well as make it clear that he didn't mean to hurt you and that he's willing to work with you

it was only a matter of time before you fell out of love with him. even before it started he always wondered what you saw in him- and how you managed to squeeze past the horror that is his diet. one that he cannot control and resents himself for, mind you

and hes no fool, when he notices hes going to act on it. unfortunately, hes not the best at communicating the more... vulnerable sides of things. that is to say hes going to start avoiding you. if you wont sever yourself from him then hes going to do it himself. hes good at evading and hiding, too, so the chances of getting your hands on him to talk it through is... not very high...

is it a little shitty to just cut things off when you fall out of love? yes. but he doesnt know how else to go about things in a way that doesnt sour things more, and he finds stress makes the more... flesh craving innerworkings of him... more prominent...

he doesnt blame you, though. circling back to the first point he always had a voice in the back of his head telling him that it was all temporary and that it wasnt going to work out. hes already made his peace with that, as well as the life hes generally going to lead until he finally loses his mind

[stevenbasic]

Growing into the Job, Post 408: Babysitting, p3

“So, how exactly are you going to pay for all of this?” Randi asked me, her eyes rising up from her laptop from where she sat on the couch, several cushions away, “You’re broke from the divorce, aren’t you?”

“She, um, gave me debit card,” I answered, not taking my eyes off my own screen - the big tv in Melissa’s mom’s great room. I’d figured out a way, with Randi’s help (and permission) to use the television to surf the web. I hadn’t been online in a while and at first Randi was reticent about letting me use it. I explained, though, that I just needed to do some shopping.,After some arguing, and, well pleading, she finally relented and said I could, as long as she could supervise. So, sitting here on a quiet Thursday afternoon after having endured not just one but, I think, three blow jobs while watching the first part of Melissa’s interview for Channel 5, I put another set of shoes into my Amazon cart. Yes, I was dependent on a woman’s money and being policed in my internet habits by a 20-something year-old.  At this point, though, I was nearly beyond the embarrassment and humiliation of the situation. Nearly. “She said I could use it for whatever I want.”

When I said ‘she’, there was no question of who I was talking about, and Randi’s eyes lit up with a smirk.

“Melissa’s got you sucking from her bank account already, huh?” Randi quipped, the bank account/teat analogy not lost on me but not rankling me quite as much as it should have. Quite. “How much did she give you?” 

“ I- she gave me two thousand dollars,” I answered. Maybe I was relaxed from the half-hour or so I’d spent in Randi’s mouth and the quick nap I’d taken after, but admitting my financial dependence on my girlfriend didn’t bother me much. Much. I’d kept an eye on my online cart; I still had a good cushion in my budget and moved on to looking for shirts…in the “Youth” section. “I’ll be careful not to run out.”

“Well, if you use it up I’m sure she’ll let down some more money for her needy little man,” Randi finished, “Melissa’s got very big…accounts.” Her smoky voice was still deliciously throaty from the blowjobs. 

Again, haha, with the boob analogy and a - fuck me - stirring in my sweatpants.

“Yeah,” I answered, this time finally feeling myself flush. Randi certainly had a way about her, a way to find my buttons, and she obviously loved to push them. I always thought of her as pushy, a little critical, and with a somewhat rough, randy (hey-oo) sense of humor. She had a penchant for deliberately pressuring me, and sometimes seducing me, way beyond my comfort zone. Today, in fact, was our third private tryst, and it was an unspoken fact that it came with her best friend’s nodding approval. I understood Randi’s seductions as mostly practical. They were calculated, mercenary, career-advancing moves designed to trap me in a corner and use my own weaknesses against me. She knew I didn’t have the strength of will to say no, and her advancements almost seemed like an amusement to her, practically a prank. On some level, though, both Randi and I knew there were heavier machinations at work. She’d never admit it but my cock down her throat filled some deeper instinct, some sort of connection that flowed through me, her, and all the girls.

Yeah, so Randi was maybe becoming more than just a brash prankster who liked making men horny and stupid, getting her kicks from pushing them to risky and humiliating sexual acts. Something important was quietly happening, surfacing in her - like it was in lots of the girls at the office. Randi was no doubt an acerbic, short-tempered young woman but she was smart, and given the context of her being overwhelmed with all of the new demands on her life I got the sense she knew she was moving upwards towards some greater role than just Social Media Director at a geriatrics practice in the Midwest. 

With Randi pestering me, I’d unconsciously found myself stroking the debit card Melissa had given me. I never told anyone, but  I nearly always kept it in my pocket. Weirdly, having it around made me feel safe. Now that I had it out next to me, I couldn’t help but hold it close. 

“Maybe I’ll buy something nice for her,” I muttered, not even realizing what I’d said out loud as I navigated my way toward the ‘Women’s Clothing’ section. Amazon had certainly started using curvier, more athletic models these days. Maybe they felt the need to start living up to their name haha. 

“Oh, you want to get Melissa something? I know she was talking about a dog collar,” Randi offered. 

“Really? Why?” I asked, “Is she thinking about getting a new pet?”

Speaking of, Melissa’s moms cat - ‘Tiger’, I think - sauntered across the room, between the television and where I sat. Had it been around here the whole time?

“Hey, cat, what’s up? Need your litterbox changed?” Randi teased. 

The thing paused, fixed Randi with a death stare, and moved on. 

Randi chuckled, and turned her attention back to me. “Anyway, no more tv,” said, putting her laptop aside, “you and I got some chores to do.”

Oh yeah, that. Laundry. 

Five minutes later, at Randi’s command, I found myself back upstairs gathering up not only my own dirty clothes from the bedroom but Melissa’s as well. Panties, bras, socks and athletic gear were all strewn haphazardly about the room. Most of the time I was a bit too distracted to notice, but she really was a mess and a half sometimes. Finally, with a bit of work, all the clothes found their way into the already half-full laundry basket sitting in the corner. Apparently not satisfied with the bra from which I’d still needed to breathe, I took the chance to surreptitiously sniff Melissa’s dirty clothes. Good god, the smell of her was like a drug. I just couldn’t get enough. This must be love, right? I was alone, and suddenly horny again and was considering rubbing one out right th-

“Hey, dude..!” came Randi’s voice, calling up to me from the bottom of the stairs, “What’s taking so long? Are you rubbing one out?”

Sigh. 

I was still strong enough to carry the now-overflowing basket down the steps and to the laundry room, where Randi supervised me separating out the delicates (mostly Melissa’s lingerie) from everything else. We’d started the load of regulars, some towels and a robe were already in the dryer, and Randi had - Whoah! - picked me up under the armpits to boost me to sit on the washer while she went through what looked like another pile of bras that had been set atop the dryer alongside me. 

My feet dangled off the edge as I watched Randi pick through them, looking at tags, setting some aside to go through the next load. 

I recognized a few of these bras. Old ones of Melissa’s, from months back.

“Uhh…” Anything to do with Melissa’s bras did seem to enthrall me. 

“These are ones she’s outgrown, she told me I could have them,” Randi explained, holding up a white underwire whose band and tag I recognized from an old Insta post of Melissa’s. 

“R-really?” I managed. 

Sidelong, Randi glanced at me and her smile curled into something a bit more predatory when she heard the crack in my voice. “Yeah. I’m basically as big as she was when you hired her.”

Randi’s tone suggested she knew exactly how captivated I was.  “Well, I’m taller now than she was then, so 34GG’s don’t look as ginormous on me as they did on her,”  she dryly explained, “But don’t worry I’m a growing girl.”

Though I’d been confronted with this before, the sheer absurdity of the fact that yes all the women around me seemed to be getting taller, stronger and bustier still boggled me. “h-how does this happen??” I asked with obvious futile impotence, sitting on the washer and eye-to-eye with Randi, who must be over six feet tall at this point. 

“Dude, haven’t you figured it out yet? The Melissssy Effect?” she snipped, white lace brassiere still in her hands, “Spend too much time around her and you start becoming what she needs you to be.”

Yes, right…wait, what?! I knew it, I felt it, this influence my new Office Manager was having over our staff… and over me <shiver>. I think I’d secretly known it all along. I could ‘feel’ it, but it was just too ludicrous to get my head around. “H-how..??”

“Plain and simple,” Randi answered sharply, “She’s magic.”

My brow furrowed. “T-there’s no s-such thing as magic,” I muttered, hearing for myself the uncertainty in my voice. 

To my reply, Randi cocked a dark, sculpted eyebrow. “I dunno. I wouldn’t be so sure.”

My throat caught, blood rushed behind my eyes. “C’mon…she’s not ‘magic’,” I insisted, again with the hesitation of a man whose worldview had been crumbling around him already. “Magic’s impossib-”

“Okay then she’s ‘science’,” Randi retorted, “You believe in science don’t you?”

“Yes but…” The science was even more unbelievable. 

“Or, maybe she’s ‘religion’. Or - I dunno -  maybe she’s all three,” Randi concluded a bit uncertain herself. Her tone seemed to signal that there were things about what was happening that she didn’t fully understand herself. “I honestly don’t fucking know.” Irritated, she obviously wanted to move onto something else. 

The washing machine vibrated underneath me, the dryer rumbling alongside. 

She held the big white bra in her hands, making a bit of a show of it. She wanted me to look up as she inspected its full satin cups. Despite knowing what she was doing, I couldn’t help but grow silent, my mind captivated by the sight. 

“Anyway, since we’re on the subject,” she began again, “now that I’m as big as she was when you hired her - and we all know you hired her for her tits - I want to make as much as she did.”

Wait. 

“Wh-what?” Now we’re talking salaries?

“I want a raise. A big one.”

“Y-y-you want to make as much as Melissa? Our Office Manager??” The shock of it pulled my attention out of Melissa’s bra cup and back to Randi’s crooked smile. 

“Well, not as much as she makes now of course…” Randi offered. 

Makes…now? Melissa’s pay should be the same as- 

“She gave herself a raise, didn’t you know?” 

My expression must have been one of shocked incredulousness, and I felt myself gaping, confused. 

Randi chuckled at my consternation, and her hand drifted down to find my erection alive and well in my sweatpants, clear for her to see. After a brief second of shock, my body tensing at her touch, I realized just how obviously turned on I was from this predicament I found myself in. With well-practiced proficiency, she slid her hand down the waistband of my pants, and pulled my hard shaft out into the open air. Fuck it was huge, startlingly so on my skinny, 4’7” frame. She smiled as she gave it a squeeze. 

I groaned, my eyes fluttered, but - passively - I didn’t complain. Suddenly I was distracted from the surprise of Melissa’s raise and the insult to my already-crumbling authority, and all my attention was centered right where Randi wanted it. On her.  

“Face it, buddy,” Randi said, as she took my cock and wrapped it into one of the white satin bra cups of Melissa’s bra, causing me to shudder and moan anew. My vision swam and already my loins sparked and clenched. “We’re all getting richer. We’re all getting more beautiful, taller, stronger.” She began to stroke the bra over my throbbing, nearly ten-inch shaft. Her voice was smoky and low. “All of us are getting bigger, all of us -  except you.”

“Oh godddddd….” I groaned, and - Jesus, that was f-fast - came into Melissa’s bra.. 

As the orgasm wracked me, I fell forward from where I sat. my face planted itself into Randi’s - my savior and tormenter’s - waiting bosom. “Shhh…deep breath,” I heard her chuckle, waiting until I inhaled before speaking again. She felt me melting. “I smell like her don’t I?” 

Nnngh…nnngh…nnngh….Melissa. Yes, she did. A sharper edge to it, perhaps, but Randi’s scent was all but exactly Melissa’s. 

“We’re all starting to get to be more like her,” Randi drawled as she milked me through my climax, into the satiny cup of her friend’s enormous bra, “and not just the tits.”

Nnngh, nnngh, nnngh. Into the bra I came, until my pulses waned. 

Still gripping my spent manhood and the bra with one hand, Randi pulled me back from her chest with the other. She took one of my hands into hers, and opened it up so we were palm-to-palm. We both marveled at the lopsided size comparison, how my fingers went just past the first joint of hers. She chuckled, and turned her narrowed eyes back onto me as she brought my hand up to her lips. Gently, she started kissing my fingers, looking into my eyes with a suddenly tender intimacy that was unusual for Randi.

“Being with me is kinda like being with her, hm?” she said, both of us aware of this weird energy - and Melissa’s unseen presence - in the room, “You can think about her when you’re with me. She’s your girlfriend, I don’t mind.”

Randi kissed my fingertip, sucked gently on my index finger to the first knuckle. She was still rubbing me, massaging me through the squishy bra, and she saw my eyes fluttering again. “C’mon I know you can do it,” she whispered. 

Astonishing even myself, I began to swell again. 

“Oooo there you go,” Randi chuckled, as her hand - assisted by the cup of the bra and now the lubrication of my last release - began to squeeze and stroke me anew. “Women really have so much power over you, don’t they?” she posited, feeling me hardening, “such amazing things we can do, Melissa, all us girls.”

“M-Melissa..?” I groaned. 

“Shhh remember, I’m getting to be just like her. And she’s not jealous. Being with me is like being with her, she’s told you herself,” she purred, sucking my index finger into her mouth and then out again, like she was sucking a dick, “But…there are still some special things of my own I can do. My own particular talents…”

I groaned. Was she actually going to do this to me again?

“Let me show you why they call me ‘The Mouth’.

At that she started feeding my fingers - two three four…five - in between her lips, and then slid them into her mouth. Her lips closed over them, and I felt the muscle of her tongue moving slowly underneath my fingers.

I shuddered in pleasure and she chuckled as I watched, eyes searching mine as I began to realize what she was about to do. 

She moved on to take in my entire hand. 

My eyes went wide. She had my whole right hand in her mouth, to the wrist.  She still grasped my forearm which, by god, was not much longer or thicker than my cock, between her fingers. Her glossy lips were closed in a tight seal around my scrawny wrist, and - drawing in her cheeks - she sucked on my hand powerfully. Her tongue continued its unseen gymnastics around my palm and fingers like an eel. I felt the sharp edges of her teeth bite delicately into my wrist, while all the while her eyes remained locked on mine, staring into my shuddering depths.

She hummed pleasantly, the vibrations of her vocal cords shivering all the way up my arm. I was beginning to groan again, in new pleasure. What was this girl capable of??

With another tug of suction, she began to show me. 

I gasped in disbelief as she took in the first few inches of my arm. My eyes stayed locked on hers as - oh my god - she didn’t stop.

She ate more of my arm, lips sliding up and up and up my thin limb as she still hummed into my bones. I felt my hand slide down into her throat and soon she had me to the elbow. 

“o-o-oh my god Randi…” I stammered, now staring down at the spectacle. She’d taken my entire forearm into her mouth, her lips closed around the joint of my elbow. I could feel my hand squeezed by the top part of her esophagus, and she swallowed several times on purpose, squeezing my hand and wrist in a muscular embrace of warm tightness….and drawing me in further. 

Deeper and deeper she fed me into her mouth, her lips inching forward slowly, gaining territory with each gentle swallow and pull. She was a snake, a she-cobra, devouring its prey and I watched her throat bulging with the thickness of my arm down inside it. The start of my withered bicep, then the middle. Randi kept going. 

My cock was throbbing hard now, fully back at erection and still being stroked by Randi now with both hands through Melissa’s bra. Though I couldn’t take my eyes off the horrid spectacle of my arm down this girl’s outrageously distended mouth, hers still bore into mine with insistence, unblinking, not wanting to miss a moment of my reaction.

Randi sucked me in again and I heard the first real gag out of her. She had my upper bicep and then - my god - her jaw widened even further and her lips closed around my shoulder, and came to a stop. Her big head, her mane of straight black hair, was right there, her eyes staring deeply into mine. My jaw hung open and quivering, she’s swallowed my entire arm. My entire arm is inside her, down her throat. 

I felt the acid of her stomach burning my hand, threatening to eat away at it.

She hummed deeply again and jostled her head, shaking my whole torso like a panther with its prey. Then she growled, suddenly baring her teeth at me, showing me two rows of teeth clamped down over my shoulder. There was absolutely no doubt that, if Randi had wanted to, she could have bitten off my entire arm. She growled once more and - nnnnnngggguuugggghhh -  I felt myself orgasm again, unngh, unngh, unngh - into the already sodden bra. How did I have anything left in me?! Her tongue lapped under my armpit, and she sucked on my arm like one giant cock, her entire alimentary canal closing tightly around it and milking it in rhythm with my climax…

=============================================

Thanks to reader GrillFan for his insightful character analysis of Randi, much of which is included here, Joyce Julep for inspiring the arm-eating scene, and once again RiF for proofreading.

[bigsissugi]

Analyzing the Prisoners' Fairytale Part 12: Maiko

Info:

Contains spoilers for LOCKDOWN.

Grammar issues within the official material will be retained for informative purposes.

If you're a staff member, please don't give me any corrections or hints. It'll be much more fun for you if your audience is wrong.

Triggers: Stalking, in-depth discussion of a mental disorder.

Her fairytale:

A story about a loyal dog. Who fell in love with a doe, believing them to be their master. They would do anything for this doe. But the doe held little power. For you see, they had no antlers. The Loyal Dog wished to bring their master power. So they hunted, deer by deer, knocking them out and taking pieces of their antlers. The Dog stitched the antlers together and put them on the Doe's head. When the doe awoke they were overjoyed, believing it was a miracle. They achieved everything they had sought. But when the loyal dog informed the Doe it was their doing… The Doe was horrified and ran away, vowing to never see the Dog again. Now the loyal dog patrols the woods, stalking and following their darling Doe. Ensuring nothing ever harms them.

How does the fairytale apply to Maiko?

So far, the love-sick dog is difficult to compare with the prisoners based on the main game alone. However, the doe can be identified amongst the hostages. Maiko's hostage Yui had a sudden success story just like the doe and her bio card implies that her success has something to do with Maiko:

A star who rose up with rapid success…

But just as quickly as she rose up, she burnt out and crashed.

Some idols retire with grace, some idols retire like Yui Apinya. Bitter, restless, critical, harsh and constantly trying to grapple back the stardom they once had. She seems desperate to prove something, mainly to herself. That's your fault, isn't it?

I'm not an expert on psychology by any means but when choosing words to use in this post, I initially opted to use the word "erotomania" in an unserious context. When looking the word up, I learned about an actual mental disorder in which someone believes another person is in love with them even when there is evidence for the contrary. Some of its risk factors and symptoms align with both Maiko's and the dog's characterizations so far:

Subjects of an erotomaniac's love are often of a higher social status than them. The dog believes the doe is above them (their master). Meanwhile, despite both of them being part of the Ultimate system at some point in their lives, Yui's talent is more likely to appeal to the mainstream than Maiko's and unlike Yui, Maiko hadn't made a public appearance in several years before the killing game.

Subjects of an erotomaniac's love are typically unattainable for whatever reason. In the doe's case, she completely cut contact with the lovesick dog after finding out about their theft.

Medical websites describe the average erotomania patient as a shy, dependent, sexually inexperienced female. The dog is heavily dependent on the doe while Maiko is shy and it would be reasonable to assume she is a virgin, considering her stereotypically loser-ish personality and the large amount of time she went without making public appearances.

Stalking is a common symptom of erotomania. It does not need to be explained why this applies to the dog.

Symbolism Explanation

Maiko is a dog: As stated in the fairytale, dogs are associated with loyalty & unconditional love. Maiko demonstrates these by reminiscing on her friendship with Yui in the prologue even though the fairytale confirms she cut Maiko off:

Maiko: Haha, it’s just like my best friend Yui used to say- ‘Sometimes the best way to say sorry is to leave’!

Calling someone a dog is a derogatory way of criticizing their improper behaviour, especially if directed at a woman (i.e. calling her a bitch). By portraying Maiko in such an insulting and rejectable manner, the fairytale reminds us of her insecure demeanour.

Yui is a doe: Yui being represented by an animal typically associated with gentleness and grace opposes her aggressive depiction from her bio (and what people might remember of her personality from the beta). Because of this, I'm assuming her assigned animal reflects Maiko's skewed perception of her rather than her true personality. Also, specifying the gender of the deer by calling it a doe draws attention to Yui's conventionally feminine appearance.

Other idols' songs are other deer's antlers: The fact that the dog's victims share a species with the doe but not the dog means Maiko's victims must have something significant in common with Yui. The most obvious answer to that based on what we know about Yui so far is them being fellow idols.

Initially one might assume their antlers represent money to fund a popstar's career, but there are a number of problems with this solution:

The item being symbolized by antlers means it must be exclusive to people similar to Yui.

Maiko is already rich from voice acting (and owning an Ultimate title if the fairytale takes place after she gained it), which means she can just as easily use her own funds to support Yui's career. One look at her luxurious design will tell you she's anything but stingy.

"Stitched the antlers together" would be a strange way to describe the combining of other people's stolen money.

There is hardly anything connecting Yui with money at the moment.

So what does one require in order to succeed specifically as a popstar? In the context of the music industry, which things can be stolen and combined in order to create something new? The answer to both is original songs.

Her deity:

12- Aphrodite: Bringer of overwhelming, overpowering love. Love so all consuming it becomes dangerous and corruptive, driving one to the point of mania…

Parallels between Aphrodite and the Dog

Both supply extreme love to others, but there is a stark difference in how they go about it. As the Goddess of love, Aphrodite is responsible for inducing romantic and violent passion in Gods and mankind alike. The most infamous instance of this is her involvement in the Judgement of Paris; she offered Helene's hand in marriage to Paris of Troy, to which he accepted. His abduction of Helene kickstarted the Trojan War, which Aphrodite also participated in. By contrast, the dog's self-imposed infatuation caused them to steal antlers for their beloved doe; they are more like the Paris to the doe's Helene than Aphrodite.

Parallels between Maiko and Aphrodite

Due to Maiko not expressing obsessive love in-game yet, there isn't much to discuss that wasn't already covered in the section above. All that's worth noting is the summary describing the violent passion of Aphrodite's admirers as "mania", which affirms my speculation of her clinical erotomania.

Symbolism Summary

Dog: Maiko Doe: Yui Antlers: Songs Power: Fame Other Deer: Other Idols

Retelling through the lens of Dog Maiko

A story about a terminally online loser who's in love with her conventionally attractive friend. Her friend wants to become a famous idol, but she doesn't have her own songs yet. The loser wants her friend to achieve fame but doesn't have any songwriting skills of her own, so she resorts to sampling other artists' songs and arranging them into something new for the friend. Upon finding the song(s) at her workstation, the friend is over the moon and promptly uses it to finally become a legitimate idol. However, some time after that, the loser confesses to stealing from other artists, causing the friend to cut ties with her. The loser cannot accept her friend's rejection, so she starts stalking her.

(Side note: I presume the line about the dog knocking the other deer out only exists to make it physically possible for the dog to chop the antlers without the deer noticing and has no meaning in regards to Maiko's crime.)

What is her crime?

Maiko's Frankensteining of the "antlers" can be most accurately described as Plagiarism while her second crime, Stalking, has been outright confirmed.

What will her verdict be?

Maiko's crime is the one I compared with Alora's in Part 06. Both harmed multiple third parties non-fatally with the intent of helping the person they are closest to. Unlike Alora simultaneously wanting to keep Lillith alive and make a difference for people other than her, Maiko's fairytale portrays her crime as a completely selfish, desperate attempt to earn love. Therefore, the only verdict currently plausible for her is Corrupt.