#(side note man i gotta go back to trans group. like. i gotta do it.)

[lew1s-moved]

suddenly remembered that time me and my friend were in a random bar in milan and a gay man started a convo with us because he was sitting at the table next to us and he heard us talking shit about the church and homophobes and just venting our anger. i'll never forget it because it was the day after a really dark moment for lgbt people in italy and it was just... so nice to know i wasn't going through it alone. that despite how awful it was, how scary, and how unfair it was that we had to go through it (and still have to suffer the consequences and who knows when things will change) at least we had each other.

[artificialqueens]

On The Ground (Rosénali) - Moonshot

A/N: So… Guess who is back after a year of not writing fics? Yours truly! What can I say? Rosénali is that powerful of a ship. As always, I hope eveyone enjoys this fic. Feel free to let me know what you think… Who knows, there might be a follow up to this little fluff in the future! Little side note: this is a lesbian au where most of the s13/s12 girls appearing are cis-female, however Mik is still a trans man in the fic.

Summary: The diner girl!Denali x street singer!Rosé AU based on Blackpink’s Rosé’s solo music that nobody asked for!

ao3 link https://archiveofourown.org/works/30267687

Denali stared at the round clock above the entrance of the diner.

4:57 PM. 

Three more minutes until her shift was over.

Three more minutes until the girl who had been a fixed character in her dreams would come from around the corner, set up her guitar, greet the passersby before starting her set for the evening like she did every Wednesday.

“So, gorge, are you going to ask the champagne girl out today, or are you just going to keep on creepily staring at her from afar?”, her coworker, Kade - or as everyone called him, Mik - appeared next to her with an empty tray.

“Her name is Rosé, not champagne girl!”, Denali rebutted, “and also, for the record, I don’t just… stare. I just happen to like appreciating her set without bothering her! It’s not like she was flirting with me that one time”.

“Did I just hear our Nali denying her crush on that pink-haired singer, again?”, Olivia, who was busy running the cash register, chimed in.

“Girl, I think we should start betting against her and maybe we’ll make more money than what they can pay us here!”, Mik joked as he washed some of the dishes in the sink.

The black-haired girl rolled her eyes, ignoring her two best friends and focusing on the performer’s much-anticipated arrival.

Denali didn’t believe in love at first sight but after the first time Rosé and her guitar had shown up on the other side of the road from Tamisha’s Diner, she couldn’t think about anything else. 

There was just something about the other girl that had the Alaskan girl enamored.

The first - and so far only - time she had talked to Rosé was out of necessity as the other girl and who she assumed were her two best friends - the diner girls had dubbed them ‘Pastel Powerpuff girls’ - had decided to dine in just as Denali’s shift at the register had started.

“Hi! Did you enjoy our diner?”, the skater had put on her best smile, not quite able to meet the gaze of the taller girl as she typed out the receipt.

“Oh, sure, the skating gig is cute, the food’s great, and the service… isn’t too bad either,” Denali could see from the corner of her eye the smirk on the pink-haired girl.

“Rosie! Quit flirting with every cute girl that breathes and hurry up or Jan and I are leaving you here, the Uber is going to be here in 2 minutes!”, the blue-haired girl went on with the other girl in the friend group while ‘Rosie’ rolled her eyes at them.

“Sorry about Lagoona, she has the tact of an elephant on rollerskates,” the taller girl joked.

“O-Oh, no problem. So, your total is 20,04$, will you be paying in cash or card? Also, are you splitting the bill?”

“Since dumb and dumber over there already left, I’ll just pay everything with my card,” she replied taking out her purse and taking out her credit card, “here you go, angel”.

Denali tried her best not to blush at the sudden pet name, maintaining her on-the-clock persona as she brought out the card reader. She quickly finished up the operation and handed the pink-haired girl her card back with the receipt, “I just need a quick signature here and you’re free to go to your friends”.

‘Rosie’ scribbled down her signature - she learned her actual name was Rosé, classy yet slightly worrying - and left a tip for her. 

A 10$ tip for her.

“Gorge, she left you a 10$ tip, she was basically asking for your hand in marriage”, Mik reminded her, his eyes darting around the half-empty diner. 

He nodded his head to his left where Denali saw another one of her co-workers sharing a milkshake with her girlfriend, giggling like teenagers, “I’m just saying. If Utica managed to end up dating that self-proclaimed ebony enchantress over there, you got a chance with wine girl”, he ended with his trademark L.A vocal fry.

Denali knew Mik had a point, but as she was about to reply, she heard the familiar sound of a guitar starting a new song. Her eyes glanced back at the clock.

5:14 PM

Damn, she had missed the beginning of the set.

The Alaskan girl didn’t lose any more time as she clocked out, skates still on her feet as she zoomed out of the diner.

“Aaaaand she’s gone!”, Olivia commented, turning her head to Mik, “Do you think this time is the good one?”

“Well, if she doesn’t finally go after her, I might as well go after her myself!”

Denali reached the usual crowd that had already formed around Rosé, trying her best to blend in and not be seen by the singer while still getting a good view of the set.

“Well, aren’t you guys a lovely crowd!”, the pink-haired singer smiled as she got ready for the next song, “I’ve got one last song for today and this is going to be the first time I’ll be performing it, so, don’t hate it too much!”, she chuckled as she checked her guitar before turning her head back to the mic stand, “This is On The Ground, I’m Rosé and I hope you’ve enjoyed the set! Feel free to drop your tips in the guitar case!”

Denali couldn’t take her eyes off Rosé when she heard the guitar’s first chord paired with the honey-like vocals.

My life’s been magic seems fantastic

I used to have a hole

in the wall with a mattress

It’s funny when you want it

Suddenly you have it

You find out that your gold’s just plastic

The black-haired girl quickly pulled out her phone, opened her voice memo app, and hit record. She wanted to treasure the magic Rosé’s voice brought. 

What she failed to notice while she was so into the song was a pair of hazel eyes settling on her as the song reached its climax.

A couple of days later, Denali had just finished with her teaching job at the local ice rink when she spotted Olivia on the railings. 

“The suspicious lack of a certain pink-haired girl makes me think that you still haven’t asked her out” she heard the younger girl say as she skated her way to her.

“You���ll never let it go, won’t you, Liv?”

“Not when I see that you like her and, from what I’ve seen, she is at least interested in you. Mik tried to ask her out yesterday after your shift was over,” the other girl replied.

Denali furrowed her brows, “Wait, he was serious about asking her out? I thought he was just joking!”

“If you don’t act on your cute pink crush, you can’t expect everyone else to stop for you,” Olivia reasoned, “if it’s of any help, Mik did say that, and I quote ‘she didn’t want a piece of this fine ass’”, she finished, air quoting their co-worker.

“To be honest, the dude’s barely got an ass compared to me,” Denali muttered, but her best friend managed to catch it.

“Well, as Symone said, you do have a fat ass,” Olivia commented, causing both of them to laugh out loud.

She continued, “Point still stands though, you gotta do something or you might just end up regretting not doing anything about it”.

The dark-haired girl sighed, “I know, I’m just… scared to get hurt because she seems so cool and unreachable, and I’m just so… me?”, she confessed, resting her arms on the rails.

“Give it a chance, Nali,” Olivia replied, laying her hand on the skater’s arm and giving it a gentle squeeze, “And just in case, if she fucks you over, we’ll just unleash Kandy on her!”, she added, making Denali chuckle.

“Girl, if she knew you said that…”

“She would do absolutely nothing because she’s too busy chasing after that Joey guy”, she didn’t miss a beat with her reply, giving her a knowing look, “Almost forgot to ask, are you coming later to the club with the others?”

Denali shook her head, “No, sorry. I don’t feel like clubbing today, I’ll just skate a bit more and then go home to watch some Netflix”.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders, “You do you, girl. But think about what I said, okay?”

She gave her best friend a small smile, “Thanks, Liv. See you at work?”

The younger girl nodded and left Denali to her thought as she exited the room. The black-haired skater turned her head back to the rink, noticing that only a few people were left on the ice. 

She took a deep breath, putting her earbuds back in and looking through her phone to decide on what song to use for her last routine of the day. Her eyes fell on the voice memo app, immediately reminding herself of the recording she had taken just a few days prior. She hadn’t even listened to it since she had recorded it.

It wasn’t a clean recording, she could hear the sounds of the city and the people around her, but she closed her eyes and focused on Rosé’s voice, letting it guide her. 

The music fully took her over as she performed her usual stunts.

I’m way up in the clouds

And they say I’ve made it now

But I figured it out

Everything I need is on the ground

She found herself in the center of the rink, the bridge of the song was blasting in her ears. She smiled to herself as she started to spin, gradually picking up speed while Rosé’s high notes were all she could focus on.

Just drove by your house

So far from you now

But I figured it out

Everything I need is on the

Everything I need is on the ground

The recording stopped abruptly, she remembered how she had to bolt away, almost missing her bus home. 

Denali could hear her heavy breathing, suddenly aware again that she wasn’t alone. But she had made up her mind.

She was going to talk to Rosé the following Wednesday. 

That Wednesday the diner was busier than usual, giving Denali barely a moment to think, let alone realize she was missing Rosé’s set outside.

She glanced at the clock.

5:26 PM

Shit.

She turned her head and looked outside the diner’s big windows and saw that the pink-haired girl was starting to gather her things.

“Miss Iman just left, go to her! We’ll cover for you and we are not letting you get back in unless you got a date!”, Olivia said quietly enough for just her to hear.

Denali couldn’t help the grin spreading across her face. She grabbed some of the tips that she had made before she bolted outside, faintly hearing the cheering of her friends.

As she reached Rosé on the other side of the road, the singer’s back was facing her, she didn’t seem to have noticed Denali yet.

The black-haired girl took a deep breath, just like she had done on the ice rink, and let the tips fall into the still open guitar case.

The noise of falling change was what made Rosé turn around, a surprised look on her face as she registered Denali’s face.

“Denali?”

Gosh, she could hear the other girl say her name all day.

Wait.

“How do you know my name?”, Denali asked slightly confused.

Rosé didn’t reply but simply pointed at the waitress’s chest.

Oh, right. The nameplate on her uniform.

“That and also I tend to remember a pretty face when I see one,” she added, now her attention fully on the shorter girl.

“Oh, yeah, right”, she fidgeted awkwardly, not knowing where to look, “Uhm, I just wanted to say that you have a really beautiful voice. You can consider me your first fan when you make it big”.

Rosé smiled at her and Denali couldn’t help but notice how beautiful of a smile she had. 

The singer turned back to her stuff, shuffling things around and leaving the brunette to her thoughts. She wanted to ask the taller girl out but felt all her courage leave her body.

Way to go, Nali.

“Well, Uhm, I think I should-”, she started but she was stopped by the pink-haired girl, who had finished packing everything up.

“Here, this is for you”.

It was a jewel case cd, a picture of Rosé in a very 80s inspired attire on the cover with pink marker writing across the front.

‘To Denali

My first (and hopefully not last) fan

     Rosé xo’    

  It was signed with a small rose doodle next to Rosé’s name and, much to Denali’s surprise, a phone number along with the phrase ‘put it to good use’.

She looked up to find the other girl staring at her, her guitar case strapped on her back. She gave her a wink and started walking towards the subway.

Denali stood there for what felt like forever as she watched Rosé disappear in between the crowd of people roaming the streets. 

She looked back down at the cd, committing the number to memory. She turned around to look at the back, her eyes were drawn to the tracklist. 

She smiled when she saw On The Ground. 

Finally, she didn’t have to listen to a shitty phone recording to enjoy it. 

“Wait, what? You had recorded it all secretly and shady, mama?”

Rosé’s laugh filled the room as Denali tried to hide her face on the other girl’s bare chest.

“You’re an ass! I just wanted to use it for one of my skating routines”, she muttered, causing her girlfriend to laugh even harder.

“I find it cute that I’m not even famous and my music has already been pirated!” she commented, “I’m already halfway there to stardom, baby girl,” she added, kissing the top of Denali’s head.

The shorter girl groaned as she hid the increasing blush on her cheeks, rolling her body so that she was on top of the pink-haired girl.

“Well, miss Rosé, is it pirating if it was for personal pleasure only?”, Denali teased, running her hands upwards on the naked skin, slowly lowering herself until her face was inches away from her girlfriend’s.

She felt Rosé’s hands take a firm hold of her behind, “Oh angel, I’ll show you personal pleasure,” the singer replied, eliminating the little space left between their lips as Denali brought her hands to cup the older girl’s face.

Rethinking about those lyrics Rosé had written months prior, Denali knew she was right, she did have everything she needed on the ground.

It was to be right there with Rosé.

[tams-writeblr]

Once I’m gone

Rating: M(ature) Warnings: major character death Category: F/M (main couple), Multi (side characters) Fandom: Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin Relationship: Mikasa Ackermann / Eren Jaeger | various side couples Characters: Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackermann, Armin Arlelt, Zeke Jaeger, Hange Zoe, Floch Forster, Ymir, Reiner Braun, Pieck Finger, Historia Reiss, several others will make a cameo Additional Tags: Modern AU | established relationship | toxic behaviour | Eren suffers from Huntington’s disease and tries to settle his matters before he dies | suicial blockhead Eren | aged up characters (by ten years) | suicide tw | depression tw | mental diseases tw | deathly diseases tw | this is clearly not write what you know, but I’m giving my very best to representate the topics as good as I can | this all basically came to me as a fever dream | you remember Thirteen from House, M.D.? I still have a huge crush on her so this version of Eren is greatly inspired by her <3 Language: English (not native, I’m trying my best you guys) Stats: ongoing - Chapter 1/15 - Part 3/4 - 956 of 3652 words Summary: Eren Jaeger knew for years that he inherited Huntington’s disease from his late mother. When he first notices symptoms on him, his long protected plan, to end his life before reaching the critical state of his illness,  awakes. But there is still Mikasa, his girlfriend and the only person in the world he cares about more than about himself, and he can’t leave her alone and grieving. It’s time to find a substitute for when Eren is gone. With the help of a new friend Eren tries to scare away Mikasa while driving her into the arms of someone new.

__________________________________________________

Charlatans and Pills - Part 3/4

<<previous

Three days later he was sitting in the office of Dr. Hans Zoe, his neurologist. A tall grandfather clock in the corner on the left behind their desk ticked lively back and forth and showed shortly before half past twelve. Eren always hated this, but his life mostly consisted of charlatans and pills for the last years.

He never had had a regular job, not that he couldn do one, a lot of people that shared his fate had ordinary jobs until their health wouldn’t let them anymore but Eren could never have settled with something as trivial as an office job. Lastly he was working at a gallery where he had insulted a visitor and got knocked out because of it. Since then he’s been without a job and he actually liked it. That way he didn’t need to beg his principal for getting a day off for the third time this month so he could see his doctor. Without long explanations they didn’t understand it anyway. And with long explanations, they usually didn’t want to keep him as an employee.

Dr. Hans looked intently at the healed up cut on his cheek. “You know Eren, I’ve eventurally cut myself while shaving too”, they said dryly.

Eren couldn’t imagine this to be true when their soft, almost feminime face didn’t show any signs of facial hair.

But Dr. Hans’ face turned stern behind their glasses. “It would be very early for you to develop hyperkinesia. On the other hand…” They took off their glasses, slowly circling the side pieces over their hooked nose and pulled them back on. “it’s not unusual for an inherited Huntington's disease to break out earlier than in the previous generation. Your mother didn’t have a genetically inherited variant, she spontaneously developed the mutation before being born and unknowingly inherited on you. Your mother was 38 when she had her first symptoms, that’s a rather average age. But we always knew, it could be starting earlier for you.”

Eren’s face was without expression. He almost had forgotten his appointment with Dr. Hans but when Mikasa reminded him two days ago he was glad and tense at the same time. Dr. Hans was a good neurologist even if they had an eccentric personality and was married to one of Mikasa’s distant cousins. Without Mikasa he would never have met this doctor who was at his side for almost five years by now.

“How are you, overall?”, Dr. Hans asked and thoughtfully folded their hands under their pointly, smooth chin.

Eren shrugged. “How should I be. The countdown has started. I might be the clam in person by now but ten years from now I’ll probably be nothing more than a slobbering piece of trash that’s on a feeding tube and doesn’t remember its family. Guess what, no thank you, I’m really not wanting that. I’d rather steal Mikasa’s riffle and bang a bullet through my skull.”

Dr. Hans’ eyes widened behind their thick glasses. “Eren! What are you talking about? I must not hear things like that in here or I have to -”

The grandfather clock chimed the half hour and swallowed their words.

Dr. Hans sighed desperately. “Eren, I know it’s not easy for you. I can hardly imagine the psychical pressure but think about everyone who’s loving you and who’s by your side. They wouldn’t want you to throw away the rest of your life as easily.”

Eren still looked at them stoically, trying for an answer, that would satisfy them.

But before anything came to his mind, the door to the office opened without further knocking. “You still got a patient, Hansi?”, a chilly, dark voice asked. “It’s half past twelve, we’ve got a table reserved. Hurry up.”

Dr. Hans threw a smile at the intruder. “I’ll be right with you, Levi. It’s Eren, you probably remember him, Mikasa’s boyfriend. Go and have a cup of tea with Moblit, yeah?”

Eren also threw a hasty glance over his shoulder and saw a well below average sized man standing under the door frame.

“They’ll never give us another table, if we’re coming too late for lunch time, but that’s your loss. I hope Moblit finally has learned to pour a good black tea. Say Mikasa hi from me.” Without further looking at Eren or Dr. Hans, Levi let the heavy door fall shut behind him.

“I’m glad to have him”, Dr. Hans sighed and smiled mildly. “I would never get out of here without him.” But with a stern glance towards Eren they turned back into his worrying doctor. “Listen, I won’t give you a prescription against hyperkinesia, that would be way too early. They only hit needlessly hard on your already gloomy personality. You’ll be good and keep taking you antidepressiva and -” They started scribbling on their pad. “I’ll make it your constraint to go see a psychotherapist. At least once, better twice a week. You know where to find appropriate help, I know he offered you to join his group several times already. I’ll make talk therapy a constraint or else I’ll see what you just said is a reason to make you go to a mental hospital until you’re less suicidal!” They ripped a sheet off teir pad and pulled it towards Eren. It was a letter of referral for a psychologist.

Eren took the letter between two fingers, nobody really could read what they’ve scrawled on it. “All right Doctor”, he murmured impatiently. “I’ll go there. But I can see no use in it, I’ve made up my mind a long time ago.”

Dr. Hans swallowed audibly. “Cut the crap, Eren, you still got plenty of time. I hope your brother can put some reasoning back into you.”

                                                                              >>next

__________________________________________________ Author’s note: Welcome back to part three! I almost forgot to upload this for today, we got a surprise visit for my SO’s brother! What a nice surprise (I don’t like surprises heh...). I my version, Hange is a trans man that didn’t start transitioning until way into his twenties or early thrities and their birth name is Zoe Hans, they just swapped it for Hans Zoe when they started transitioning. And yes, they are married to Levi in this <3 Sadly Levi doesn’t play a huge role in this, but we might see him again in the future! Gotta hurry uploading this, see you for part 4!

[neverheardnothing]

rewatching joe iconis and family lincoln center performance at 4 am instead of packing or sleeping just to feel something and i have so FEW and so MANY thoughts and yall are gonna hear em all. no i will not put this under a cut. im going to be an absolute bastard about this.

i love the story joe tells about why he's singing mitb as the first song so much. like. the spite of it all. the defiance of it all. the pride of it all. the dig it or fuck off and disappear of it all. the joe iconis of it all. 

“i know exactly the song im going to sing as my first song at the american songbook series.” i love that he highlights the fact that this is the american songbook series.

then immediately jumping right into broadway here i come with molly hager, the other song he is most known for!!!

every time i think about this performance i think about how this was the first (?) time this song was performed by them since the closing of bmc.

and then lance rubin comes up to sing try again. which is the only time that i know of that anyone but joe has sung this song.

i remember a remark made during watching it live that having someone else sing the song made it seem so clearly more about joe and his career. but also having lance sing it immediately makes me think of bbh closing early which yeah is part of joe’s career but also lance’s.

and also the line “if you’re an actor and another actor gets the part you auditioned for” reminds me of how lance found the auditioning process of acting and the whole [not acting part] of an acting career to be terrible which is why he quit to then become an author and the juxtaposition of him singing try again is Something. but also he DID try again he is just applying his efforts to a different creative field and it’s working out great for him. good for lance rubin.

lol i haven’t even talked about the actual performance aspect of this song anyways it’s very different from the two versions ive seen of joe doing it. he plays it a lot more comical. i love it.

sidenote not specific about this performance, but i love love LOVE the line and the music at “use the stairs, walk to the street. see the people, feel the heat, and apply yourself again.”

and also the line “when they cast you out to sea, there’s a lifeboat manned by me called try and try again” will never not make me think of bsol/last on land and bonus lance was also in that show! it just keeps circling around.

everything about these past 3 songs performed at this venue in this set list order in this moment at joe’s career is honestly so wonderful. like you had a songs about an anxiety attack, a suicide/loss of self in success, and repeated failures before this song all sung by individuals. two of these songs were written at points where joe felt frustrated/sad with his career. one written in the aftermath of specific frustration about the first closing of be more chill. one an actual song from bmc. like what a SETLIST for your first three songs! fucking michael in the bathroom, broadway here i come, and try again. truly something.

THE WHISKEY SONG!! i love hearing joe sing so much. while i think we can all agree he’s not the most skilled singer there’s something special about hearing a composer perform their own work. he adds like 3 levels of charm to make up for lack of singing skills lol. just a very charismatic guy.

lance rubin back on tamborine for the next bit of the song and he’s like laughing through it. not completely sure what he’s laughing about honestly but this Is a comedic song (after 3 real downers of songs) and also joe was playing it up.

jared weiss down on the floor with his guitar playing along. that’s its own bullet point.

audience cheering as more family members start coming on stage! i love that the band is getting cheers. love that!!!

the camera isn’t on him but from the audio, nick blaemire is presumably running around giving high fives to people in the audience.

i can’t exactly tell with the camera angle and the lighting but i think that more family members get up from different seats in the audience or at least enter in the back and walk through the audience to get to the stage during this instrumental break. reminds me of how joe loves theater that physically touches you. giving you high fives in this case.

love liz lark brown. she plays it pretty like. frenetic and frazzled. love it.

amara, badia, danielle, will, and nick are just chillin sitting on the steps of the stage. 100% contributes to the vibe of this song. top fuckin notch.

SOMEONE screams AH during the drunk part of the song and i cannot figure out who but it gives me so much life.

jared pulling lance down to the floor with him.

jason going “man.... this place is a dump” like i LOVE the irreverence.

everyone actually getting back up and also converging On the stage during the (kind of) acapella break.

and now your whole gang is up on the stage at the fancy ass appel room singing your what sounds like a mostly upbeat fun song but is actually about self medication with alcohol and it’s a fucking jam. i love the 3 solo songs and then bringing in everyone for a big group number.

sidenote not about this specific performance: the lyrics “i’ll pour some more and then—AND THEN?—i’ll pass out and then—AND THEN!” the and thens were not on the things to ruin album and i wonder why not ALL the time. was it just deemed extraneous? or was this an innovation after the album was recorded?

i love that you can see the band singing along.

yesterdays / i can’t relate. i love this song i fucking love it. i love the synthy keyboard that was an active choice made. which means that joe is not the one accompanying jared in this song.

jared: i hate today. joe: *snorts in the background*

“i like music you can hold” -> old records black suits, susannah’s obsession with music which was of course in vinyl format back then

will once said hearing lgw was very exciting because he’s first and foremost a fan of joe’s so he was hearing a new joe song for the first time and the world got just a bit larger and i think about that quote a lot in relation to this song because i was like Oh i Get What He Means now because this is the first new joe song i heard since like getting into his work and i felt that world getting a bit bigger.

jared’s monotone chorus on top of the girls underneath is so good. it’s so fucking good i cannot.

liz lark brown velociraptor fuckin classic. specifically in this performance the weird ass electric guitar noise at “there’s a dinosaur” is SO good. i love it.

i know people say Trans Vibes from next song (jeff) but this song also gives me trans vibes. i think joe inadvertently writes stuff trans people relate to because of his propensity to write for People Who Are Different.

people cheering as will takes off his jacket hell yeah.

i am way more used to the jeremy morse version of this song and really consider it more his so it’s so fun to hear will sing it.

i love the canon of the “oh”s so much.

after will sings “i go to the window looking out and what do i see? myself just staring back at me.” and someone in the audience AUDIBLY goes “oh.” like what a MOMENT. way more subtle than when someone screamed “WHAT” at the “naked korean girl” reveal during the pipe night performance but on the same tier of Great Audience Reactions.

smooth fuckin gliss bro i love it. arms out by side. i love it.

Classic Jason Sweettooth Williams Singing Helen. but this time they added like some REAL like. oh god i have no idea how to describe it. electric crunchy electric guitar noises. and it’s so good.

i havent mentioned this yet but in the background of every song people who are not in it or are backup vocals are just sitting and jamming along and it’s so nice because me fuckin too.

honest to god just have to give a timestamp for this but bullet point for whatever the fuck eric is doing in the background here.

will and katrina circling each other singing directly into each other’s faces. so good.

the Unexpected dynamic change and following crescendo i am Living.

katrina rose dideriksen riffing up top. yes. YES.

joe starting to play helen sharp and then forgetting part of his introduction to the song is so good.

the inevitable laughter at any performance of this song at “it is not lost on me you’re all here at my show”

i know nothing about the movie death becomes her so i honestly always just think about joe when this song gets performed. also thinking about how in the youtube premiere of this song, joe was talking about how lauren was shouting out the names of all the musical theater composers joe is jealous of.

right place/wrong time. i read a bsol review a while ago about how katrina rose dideriksen was underutilized and gotta say i Agree holy Shit let her sing More.

i also remember how joe once said this song felt the most personal to him and that he cried when writing it

police siren piano.

the first time in this entire song they sing in sync is at the line “i wonder if his/her life is just like mine” and i just start screaming.

when eric and katrina turn to each other for the first time and start singing At each other!!!!!!!!!!!

honey! thinking about jen ash tep talking about how Each performance of this song gets Wilder and Wilder.

love it when nick just gets off the stage and starts singing to people in the audience. apparently one of the people was will’s mom lol.

ACAPELLA BREAK!!!!!! joe just fully gets up from piano and starts WILDLY clapping along!!!!

woman of a certain age! i remember when the live show happened the album had not come out yet and then when the yt premiere of it happened it Had been out for a week or so.

piano note elevator bell

the electric guitar is doing some fucking weird ass things in this song and i am living so fucking much for it.

the riffs badia does are so fucking incredible i immediately paused this video to go and watch her sing big fat ruby again just because i wanted more badia content.

the story behind old flame is so good and joe waiting until the last fuckin moment to give her the song is so fuckin funny.

i love love love these types of joe songs that are like 7 minute long story epics like right place/wrong time and the actress and ammonia and old flame.

“the best way to get past the past is to shoot it in the head” and then the audience cheers and i fucking love it. my commentary is getting shorter. it’s 6 am and i’m tired can you tell. i also just had a lot of thoughts about this early on and less thoughts about later on.

revolution song. the deep ass fucking electric bass is So good i Will go apeshit. like honestly that might be my favorite smaller detail of this song. like i imagine if i were in the room it might be loud and deep enough that i could feel it In my chest. like you can Feel the revolution coming.

i love the faster tempo revolution song has in the cabaret version.

i also love the cabaret specific lines of “evolution in the institution”

joey is a punk rocker was honestly not ever on the list of songs i thought would get performed here but im so glad that they did. like the obvious choice would have been veins for annie golden but they went this route. obsessed with this choice. obsessed with the fact that amphibian replaced this song as the act 2 opener. obsessed that annie is the one singing this.

i am never not screaming about wave and yall know this. just throwback to me losing it in the tags in a reblog of picture of the wave passage going on about how it really does mirror joe’s career and bmc specifically. and again this song being performed for the first (?) time since bmc closed makes the “so today on a hill in las vegas” and onward part SO fucking sad i literally just started crying. the entire song being in past tense up until that part. i will just go die now.

will in the yt premiere talking about texting the line “our energy would simply prevail” in the leadup to bmc coming back.

find the bastard. for some reason when this happened live i thought it was gonna be outlaw that was performed. 

i swear to god it is literally physically impossible for me not to AT LEAST mouth along to “what’s your name, what’s your name” during this song

NAMES ARE FOR ACCOUNTANTS.

MY NAME IS AWFUL LONG AS IT’S THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG.

the goodbye song. it’s never not sad. i love love love that this song is the final song every concert. i also love the recent lore of finding out that penny dreadfuls was the encore song at concerts before they became too long and it had to get cut.

finally gonna mention the background car lights. what a beautiful backdrop.

also since im always on my wrol bullshit i love how fucking clearly you can hear him at the end

accelerando accelerando accelerando. insert [joe iconis peaked when he wrote the accelerando in the goodbye song post of mine].

katrina singing an octave up is always SO fucking impressive i am so impressed by her voice she is so fucking good i love her so much

the bows are so fucking sweet i love them.

goodnight it’s 7 am.

[writing-hound]

Tiniest glint of Hope:

Reading: Daddy!Protective!Pansexual!Hamish Duke X Little!Trans!Reader (FTM)

Warnings: Hard/Soft Core Fluff | Profanity | Soft Violence | Slurs (Fag, Queer, Etc.) |

Summary: Hamish and Y/N Have never met before in their life. Maybe in class, but that doesn't really count considering he is your professor. You liked Professor Duke in a way that isn't appropriate for school. But who's to judge you? As the weeks went by, A few male students have been picking on you; they were hearing rumors that you were a girl and now wanting to be a guy. What happens when they get too physical?

Word Count: 2443 words

Abbreviations: Y/N = Your Name | Y/E/C = Your Eye Color | E/C Eye Color | Y/L/N = Your Last Name

A/N: If you want more content, comment below! I love to hear from you guys!! I might make another part to this, so watch out for it in the near future!!

I have been in this class for a while now. This was Ethics, one of the classes I just got signed up for because I had some free room in my schedule. And boy was it the best decision of my life. The only problem was that there were a couple of boys in the class who liked to harass me. One time they even tried lifting up my shirt to see if I had tits. Which I don't, since my parents saved up for me to have top surgery.

Best day of my life.

Now, I sit in Ethics, listening to Professor Duke talk about things I don't really understand, but I jot down the notes anyways. When The professor turned around to write something on the white-board, something was thrown at me. It hit me on the left side of my head and I gave a very low, very quiet growl out of reaction.

What was their problem? I thought as I picked up the waded piece of paper and read it.

Dear Loser, You will never be a guy. Signed, real guys.

I rolled my eyes and crumpled it up again, glaring at the small group of boys that are a few tables away. That made them all laugh.

"Ms.- er, Mr. Y/L/N? Something you want to share with the class?" Professor Duke asked, his face showing mild curiosity and concern. I shook my head. "No," I said in a quiet voice. I never liked being called on, especially in class.

Professor Duke gave a shrug, and resumed his lecture. I sulked in my seat until the bell rang for class to be over. As soon as it did, I was up and out of my seat and heading for the door. When I reached the hallway, I looked around to see if anyone was there.

Coast being clear, I leaned against the wall for physical and emotional support. I wanted to cry. It was too much. The paper was still clutched in my shaking hand as I thought about it. And the more I thought about it, the more angrier and pissed off I got.

Suddenly, hands were on me. Boisterous laughter carried through the halls as I was dragged into the boys bathroom and shoved up against one of the walls. Whoever it was had ahold of my shirt and my glasses were knocked off, making the figures fuzzy.

But I can only imagine who it could be, based on drowning in cheap cologne and testosterone. I tried to scream, but a hand was over my mouth.

"Scream and you'll get hurt," One said gruffly.

"Hey, boys, shall we see if this 'man' has tits?" The one holding me asked the others. I began to cry as I tried to kick at my captor. I bit the boys' hand, and he gave a yelp as he drew it back out of reaction. This gave me enough time to give out a scream before the boy popped me in the face with his palm. When he did that, I felt my nose bleed, it running down my 'Doctor Who' shirt. By this time I was hyperventilating, my lungs refusing to bring in air.

I needed my inhaler.

"What did I fucking tell you, you fag?" the boy hissed in my ear. "Fucking queers thinking they can do whatever they want, and whoever they want-" The boy raised his fist this time, intending on hitting me, but was stopped as the bathroom door opened. I didn't see anything except a blurry figure, but the voice sounded so familiar.

"What's going on in here, boys?" Professor Duke asked. "I really hope you're not picking on Y/N."

The boy holding me dropped me real fast. "No, we were just showing this fa- I mean, we were talking to Y/N ," He said. I took a deep breath as they backed away and past the Professor.

As they left the bathroom, Professor Duke rushed over to me where I was heavily leaning on the wall trying to bring air into my lungs. I fumbled for my backpack, trying to get my inhaler out, but my hands were shaking too hard for me to grab ahold of anything. My shallow breaths quickened as I tried to breath, fear taking hold of me and making my breathing worse.

I'm gonna die.

Professor Duke's hands found mine as he looked at me. "Hey, it's okay," He said quietly, taking my bag and sifting through it to find my inhaler. Once he found it he helped me use it, taking two deep breaths.

"T-thank you, Professor D-Duke," I stuttered out, my heart beginning to stop racing in panic. The professor gave a shrug. "It was nothing," He said, giving a sweet smile. "Did you need me to walk you to. . . somewhere?" He asked.

"No, i-it's fine-" I cut myself off as I heard the bathroom door open. I jumped at the sudden noise, flinching. Professor Duke noticed and faced the person who was there, standing in front of me protectively.

"Oh, hey Hamish," The person said. He was tall, had dark, short hair, and had that goofy aura around him. Other than that, he was a blur without my glasses. This person obviously knew him well enough to be on a first name basis.

What if he's gay? The thought came fully formed in my head, and I pondered it.

"Hey, Randall," Professor Duke said, which I almost missed. "What are you doing in the bathroom?" Randall asked. "Isn't it a bit too, unsavvy for your taste?" He joked.

Obviously Randall hadn't seen me yet, considering how small I am compared to Professor Duke. "Um, I was helping out Y/N. Some guys took her- I mean, them in here to do... I don't know what," He replied, stepping out of the way so this Randall person could see me. Randall's eyes widened as they saw me.

"Dude, you gotta wash your face," Randall said, stating the obvious.

"Thanks, Sherlock," I mumbled sarcastically. "Anyone seen my glasses? They were knocked off and I can't really see without them," I asked the two. Both guys started to look. Professor Duke found them outside of the bathroom on the ground. "Here," he said gently, holding them up for me to take the gold blurry shape I knew was my glasses. My glasses looked like those ones my grandparents wore, and when I saw them in gold, I had to take them. I didn't care how I looked, I loved them that much.

Finally being able to see, I looked at both my Professor and his friend Randall. Randall was kind of cute, in that goofy, puppy sort of way.

I turned around and began to clean myself up. I first did my nose, which didn't take long, and then I started to wipe the blood off of my shirt.

"You guys don't have to be here," I said, not looking at them, but through the mirror. "Thank you for coming to my aide, Profe-" I was cut off by Professor Duke. "Please, call me Hamish," he said.

"Okay, Hamish, thanks for coming to my aide, but you don't have to be here puppy guarding me." I finished, not looking up and focusing on my shirt.

Hamish and Randall both gave a laugh. Once it had died down, Randall said, "Let Ham take you home, it will be much safer for you,"

Hamish gave Randall a look of 'why did you do that?' and looked back at me. I could have sworn there was a glitter off hope in his eyes.

I gave it some thought. I want him to walk me home, but at the same time it would be a big waste of time for him...

"Ah, what the hell," I finally said. "You can walk me home, I guess," I almost didn't catch the smirk that Randall gave Hamish, and in return, Hamish's glare. I gave it no thought as I grabbed my bag, tossing my inhaler into it, and walked out of the bathroom with both boys in tow behind me.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · · · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

On the walk to my housing, things were quiet.

"If you don't want to walk me home, I get it, you can leave," I said, anxious thoughts making me think I am a waste of time. Hamish stopped, causing me to stop as well. I looked over at him.

"Hey, I want to do this. If I didn't, trust me, you'll know," Hamish said. We continued walking in silence, until this time, he broke it.

"Do you always get bullied like that?" Hamish asked.

"Yeah, most times though it's notes, rude comments, or drawings. It was never like that, though." I responded. "That was a first," I joked uneasily.

"What kind of notes? Like the one today you were reading in class?" He asked, this time there was a hint of a growl. Weird.

"Yeah, I still have it for some reason-" I pulled out the wade of paper and handed it to Hamish, our hands brushing for a moment. He read it and as he did, his hands curled into fists. "Fucking idiots," he seemed to growl.

I saw his eyes flash a light blue, then back to his regular blue-grey. I think I'm smoking too much weed, I thought as I quickly looked away. "How long has this been going on?" Hamish asked, crumpling the paper in his fists.

"For a few weeks now. It was whenever those morons heard that I had gotten top surgery-" I cut myself off. "I don't think you really want to hear about it," I mumbled, looking away and picking up my pace.

Hamish easily caught up to me, his long legs eating up the distance fairly easy. "No, I asked. What's 'top surgery'?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"Well, uh, top surgery is when a, um, girl like myself doesn't want breasts anymore-" I gave a sigh. "I'm bad at explaining things," I said. "It's like... reconstructing your chest to accommodate for what you want," I said, looking down at my shoes.

"I think I got it," Hamish said. "You don't want to be a girl anymore, right?" He asked. I gave him a nod. "Yeah. It never really felt right," I said, giving a smile. "I don't really care what people call me really, if they knew me as a girl before, and they slip up and call me 'her' or 'she', I wouldn't care. It's just how people disrespect me, like those boys, that bothers me," I said.

Hamish looked at me with soft eyes. "I promise that it will never happen again," I scoffed. "What will you do? Walk me everywhere?" I asked, jokingly. "I don't think that would be wise, considering that you are a teacher and all, kids will start talking,"

"Let them talk then," Hamish said, strolling to a stop. I stopped in front of him. "Why do you care so much about me anyways?"

Hamish seemed torn in telling me something. He finally gave a sigh, opening his mouth. "Well," He started slowly. "What if-" He cut himself off and rethought what he was gonna say. "What if I liked you?"

"Are we speaking hypothetically? Or reality?" I asked. "Cause I highly doubt reality," I scoffed. Hamish didn't laugh. "Oh, you're actually serious-" I sat down on a nearby picnic table, looking at the guy in front of me. "What makes you like me? Hypothetically speaking, of course," I added.

"Well," Hamish said, sitting beside me on the picnic table. "I like your quirkiness," he said. "I also like that you are a lover and put people before yourself," I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah?" I asked, looking at the blond boy sitting beside me.

Hamish gave a nod. "Yeah," he said, looking back at me. "You don't mind that I am trans?" I asked him, our faces inches away from each other.

"No," He whispered just as he closed the gap and kissed me. I was stunned for a minute, thinking that this might be just a dream and I'll wake up. Hamish seemed to notice my hesitance and began to pull away. I quickly pulled him closer and kissed him back. Hamish smiled and we moved our lips in sync with each other. After a moment, we pulled apart.

"Where did that come from?" I asked, not looking at Hamish. He didn't say anything as we both sat there, not knowing what to say, and if we did, not knowing how to say it.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" Hamish asked. "Like, go out to dinner or get a drink?"

I looked at him with a smile. "Sure, why the fuck not, right?" I said, laughing. We both got up and continued to walk to my place. Halfway there, somehow, we ended up holding hands. As we reached the door, Hamish and I stopped. He faced me as I stood there, not wanting to go inside alone.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye," Hamish murmured softly. I shifted my weight from my right foot to my left awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess so," I said, looking down at my shoes once more.

I felt fingers lift my chin up so I could look Hamish in the eyes. "I also guess this is goodnight," He whispered. I only gave a nod, unable to trust my voice. Hamish bent down and placed his lips on mine softly. My breath hitched as he bit my bottom lip.

I stood there, with my Ethics professor, kissing him goodnight. What a wild thing to think about, I thought as I kissed him back. Pulling away, I looked into his blue-grey eyes as he looked into my Y/E/C eyes.

"I'll, uh, see you tomorrow, Hamish," I said, backing up and running into the wall with my back. I dug through my pocket and got out my keys. I swiftly got them in and unlocked the door while Hamish stood there watching with an amused look. I walked inside, but turned around and gave him a smile.

"Good night, Y/N," Hamish said in response as I looked at him. He turned and walked away, so I closed my door. I hit my back against it, sliding down the grain of the wood as I thought about today's events. Did I really kiss Hamish? I asked myself, touching my lips with the tips of my fingers.

I gave a squeal in delight as I sat there.

I kissed Hamish Duke.

It finally dawned on me that he might actually feel the same way as I feel about him.

[clansayeed]

Bound by Circumstance ― Chapter 13: What Was Given Can Be Taken Away

PAIRING: Nik Ryder x trans*M!MC (Taylor Hunter) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Circumstance ⥽

Taylor Hunter (MC) has made it good for himself in New Orleans; turns out moving to a new city fresh out of college to reinvent yourself isn’t as hard as people make it out to be. Things only start to get confusing when he finds himself the target of a malevolent wraith. Good thing someone’s looking out for him though — because without Nighthunter Nik Ryder as his bodyguard he definitely won’t survive long in the twisting darkness of the supernatural underworld he’s tripped into.

Bound by Circumstance and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the book Nightbound and the rest of the Bloodbound series. Find out more [HERE].

Note: Circumstance only loosely follows the events and plotline of Nightbound, and features a separate antagonist, different character motivations, and further worldbuilding.

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Circumstance/series tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

After her encounter with the bloodwraith leaves Lady Smoke without her cursed touch, Katherine sets out to organize a meeting with the only power in the city left uninterrogated: the Garden Coven. Taylor takes advantage of their time left hanging to finally visit Kristin’s hospital bed. There he finds a familiar face and finally gets an outsider’s perspective on the weirdness his life has become.

[READ IT ON AO3]

“No wonder you’re a dead name in this town, Ryder. Can’t even follow simple orders. Didn’t I tell you to keep Vera away from here?”

“Harsh, Tonya — harsh.”

Vera shoves the Nighthunter aside and almost falls on her knees at her mother’s bedside. Apparently the bad blood that parted them ran a little thinner than the blood they shared.

He recognizes that face — remembers a similar look in his mother’s eyes when she was watching him from his own hospital bedside. Kind of understands the way Tonya Reimonenq tries to look at anything but her daughter.

“As if I wasn’t gonna come see you?” Vera can’t help but sound a little frustrated; a little broken. Takes in the thin black spiderwebbing of her veins they’ve all become a little too familiar with at this point. “You’re lucky to be alive.”

“There’s nothin’ lucky about this, Vera.”

Her voice is thick with anger. It’s enough to pull her daughter out of her familial grief. Where she reaches up and Taylor helps her back to standing. Still she holds on to the railing of Tonya’s bed with a hard grip.

She looks her mother over head to toe. Flinches as she takes in the burn unit casts on her hands and forearms. The way her hair is no longer coiffed with a salt-and-pepper streak of refinement but now, instead, lays in disarray over the thin hospital pillows.

Just as her ID band says, the woman lying in bed is Tonya Reimonenq, nothing more and nothing less. Lady Smoke is no more than what her name implies — smoke on the wind.

Vera swallows down something else, maybe some fondness or affectionate word. Instead just lets her hand hover over the nearest cast-bound hand with hesitation.

“Kathy said you…” but the words get lost somewhere between her head and her mouth and she has to try again, “that the… the thing, it…”

Even when Tonya physically turns her head away there’s no hiding it. Not in the monitors that start to beep louder on the other side of her, not in the numbers that jump erratically. Not in the lights overhead — unflattering things to everyone, really — that illuminate the shame in her dark eyes.

“I can’t feel it anymore.”

“Feel what?”

“The connection, baby girl,” and there’s something a little manic in the way she looks at her daughter then, the way she reaches out but can’t touch, “the connection to our birthright. Always there and then…”

The words come out of Taylor unbidden; “Then gone like smoke.”

A tear falls down Tonya’s cheek. Dampens the pillowcase where it lands. Her vitals have slowed down now but the damage is done.

Expensive footsteps stop in the doorway brisk enough to turn their heads. To where a crisp and starched man fusses with a dark trench coat, practically wrenches it off of his shoulders and into the arms of an attendant passing in the hall.

His icy eyes land first on Tonya in bed and then sweep her guests — nothing short of critical, dismissive; borderline angry.

“Money can buy you a good room and unlimited care, Reimonenq, but it won’t buy you out of hospital rules.” He snaps, takes the white doctor’s coat from a different attendant as its given to him.

Along with it a laminated badge: DIAGNOSTIC STAFF, TULANE MEDICAL CENTER. With AUTHORIZED VISITOR on a bright red sticker beneath it.

The doctor pushes through them carelessly — is already fixated on the clipboard of Tonya’s information when he growls out “Anyone who isn’t family get the hell out of my sight before I call security,” and he definitely isn’t kidding.

“Good to see you again, Doctor Ramsey.”

He only looks up at his patient to see the condition of her arms and their bandages. “It isn’t a sentiment shared.”

Because they have no desire to stay and see what the doctor’s wrath looks like, since it sounds violent enough, Taylor and Nik make their way out. Stop only when Vera turns hot on their heels.

“You should stay with her — you know, never know what could happen.” Nik mutters under his breath. He’s so unaccustomed to showing concern that it sounds almost sarcastic for a moment. “I just mean —”

“I know what you mean. But I ain’t doin’ any good standin’ here.”

Taylor reaches and their hands meet between one another. He squeezes her gloves with the same concern and support as he had at the Shift.

“Nik’s right.”

But Vera is, at least on the surface, adamant. “No, Tay’. I’m useless in here. Out there I can—I mean we could—”

Neither of them miss the half-glance she nearly throws over her shoulder.

“Stay,” Taylor tries again; feels her resolve crumble just a little — it’s enough, “we’re not even going far. And if anything changes you’re the first call. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Taylor knows he has no right to try and mend the holes in the Reimonenq family tapestry. That’s not even what he’s trying to do if he’s honest. But underneath all that anger he can feel the threads of regret Vera is trying desperately to hide.

If something did happen she wouldn’t forgive herself. And that’s worse than feeling helpless.

When they finally find their way back to the front lobby (two wrong turns, five angry nurses, and a mentally scarring view of an old man’s ass later) Cal is sitting alone in one of the uncomfortable half-bench chairs. He’s pretending to be focused intently on the muted play of college football on the nearby mounted television — badly. Keeps looking over to where a father distracts his son from the noise and bustle around them with one of those outdated planks with colorful metal wires criss-crossing each other for simple beads to travel on.

Makes sense, though. The kid’s mop of messy dark hair could place him for a younger version of Cal’s brother, Donny.

“Hey, Kujo!” Ryder snaps to get the wolf’s attention — gets more than that when Cal’s upper lip curls like he’s baring fangs.

“You call me that one more time, Ryder, and I swear to god I’ll —”

“Enough, guys.” Taylor forces his way between them.

Ryder, however, is either entirely too used to threats by now or doesn’t find the werewolf to be much of a threat. Both aren’t very healthy reasons.

“Where’s Katherine?”

And yeah, where is Katherine? She’d been so insistent at the Shift to see Tonya’s condition for herself yet had been more than willing to hang back and make a call while Vera reunited with her mother.

Cal jerks his head towards the automated doors. “She dipped out.”

“Really, I hadn’t noticed,” luckily all it takes is a glare from Taylor to tone down his dangerous levels of sass, “you find out where she was goin’?”

“Naw, she —”

“She’s making arrangements for us to meet with the Garden Coven — ideally as soon as possible.”

Cadence arrives bearing the holy grail of all holy grails; hospital coffee. Makes balancing the three cups sans lids while swerving his way through a minefield of professionals, patients, and problematic persons downright easy. He hands each of them their caffeinated prizes while continuing; “Time is of the essence after all.”

A grim silence settles over the group. Just another time when, once again, there’s more going on than what’s being said and Taylor is left out of the loop. But he won’t fall into the trap this time — he simply won’t ask.

No matter how burning the compulsion is, how desperately he wants to know? Nope. Not asking.

Ryder practically gags on his first sip of coffee — funny, thinks Taylor, since he chugs down alcohol strong enough to burn off his tastebuds any other time — before he speaks.

“And there’s no one else suspect?”

Cadence shrugs. “The Mayor wasn’t at the garden, but even if it is him by some miracle or another he’d need a witch to summon that level of power.”

“All roads lead to the Garden.”

“Worst case scenario they agree.”

“You should’ve gone with her,” hard to tell which one is sharper; the look Nik throws at the vampire or the edge of his words, “no one has it in good with those crones. She could use the protection.”

“On the contrary I might be second to, well, you in how I stand with them.”

Context — context is good. And judging by said context this Garden Coven is rather the opposite. He pipes up; “They don’t know me yet, that’s a positive, right?”

Three pairs of eyes in a deadpan stare that tells him no, no that isn’t a positive at all.

“Well,” Cal smacks his open palms on his jeans and resumes his seat — the kid and his dad are gone now, the toy left abandoned and on its side, “nothin’ to do but wait. Least here I don’t gotta move Garrus’ inventory.”

So that’s it, they’re just going to sit on their thumbs and wait?

Well — Cal’s going to sit. The vampire shrugs and hands his number off to Ryder with a mention to call him if there’s news; takes off back the way he had come towards the hospital cafeteria.

Then Nik’s leaning in close, voice low and breath a tickle in his ear that Taylor wasn’t prepared for and can’t exactly contain his reaction to. But luckily the front doors slide open at the same time and his shudder could easily be taken as a shiver against the chillier evening air.

“Listen, Rook, about —”

It makes him step back and gape. “You really think now is the time to talk about that?” Because, uh, no.

Then Nik’s rolling his eyes with an arm thrown over his shoulder. “No, I’m not — shut up.” And he may very well be trying to get Taylor alone to talk about… about what happened in the apartment, but his dumb legs follow anyway. Like they’re conditioned by now to know safety lies at the hells of that dumb leather duster.

He stops them just shy of an unmanned desk. Keeps his voice low; “There’s a lot goin’ on right now.”

“Gee, really?”

“I mean —” Taylor takes a little pride in forcing Nik to pinch the bridge of his nose, just a little, “— between Tonya in there, and I don’t even know how to begin tellin’ you all the things not to do in front’a the Garden Coven, and yeah sure at some point maybe… talkin’ about earlier would be good —”

“Not. right. now.”

“I ain’t sayin’ right now!” A rare grunt of genuine frustration. Maybe Taylor’s toed the line a little too far… makes him back off at the very least. He can let the man get his words out, sure.

An opportunity Nik’s grateful for. “I figure you wouldn’t wanna do this without Vera but you weren’t wrong when you said she oughta stay with Tonya. But I dunno the next time we’ll be in this part of town. And I never intended not to keep this promise.”

Oh.

Nik notices the epiphany in his eyes and gives a curt nod. Stands with his hands shoved in his jeans pockets, which hunches his shoulders, which makes him seem more sincere than the hunter’s normal bravado allows for.

“She’s two floors up. You… you up for this?”

No — he isn’t. But as ever Nik is (begrudgingly) right. Who knows the next time they’re not going to be kidnapped, or attacked, or potentially fatally worse?

So he just nods and follows the safety of Nik’s heels towards the elevator.

It should be a good thing that the Intensive Care Unit doesn’t have many long-term patients. But Taylor already has a thing with hospitals. A nearly empty floor with all the blinds drawn and only one cantankerous-looking old guy manning the nurse’s station?

Welcome back to your own personal horror movie, Taylor.

The floor’s only occupants are side-by-side. So focused on getting to her after all this time, Taylor barely gives the man a passing glance. Catches sight of a smaller, frail-looking body in the bed over where his back is hunched and shaking with silent sobs.

The air is stale with the salty taste of grief.

The first thing he notices is how dull her room looks. Makes sense; she’s in a different city in a different state than where she grew up and even if there were volunteers about they’re probably all assigned to the patients who will appreciate and take advantage of a stranger’s generosity.

“I should’ve brought flowers,” mutters Taylor absently.

She would have brought him flowers. That’s just the kind of friend Kristin is.

Only the chart at the foot of her bed says ‘Jane Doe.’ Lists extensive injuries Taylor catches only a glimpse of before he forces his gaze elsewhere. But because he’s back in the Hunter Horror Flick each new thing he sees is leagues worse than the last.

Tonya had magic on her side. Even if it was gone now, even if it hadn’t worked — it was more than the negative defenses Kristin had had against their attacker.

She looks like someone poured a gallon of ink over a kiddie pool of milk. Weird analogy but not a wrong one. The machine keeping track of her vitals beeps slow and rhythmic. Says good things about the state of her pulse and her heart… only that he’s pretty sure it should be a little more upbeat.

He would have thought the tube down her throat would make him gag but somehow knowing it’s helping keep her alive is enough to stay his weak stomach. The in-process transfusion between a healthy, red bag on her right and the barbecue sauce-looking contents of the left bag, though… well he has to look away some time.

He’d hoped—no, thought—Nik was still in the doorway; a reassuring presence giving him an inch of space. Instead the Nighthunter is given a mile and is nowhere to be found.

He shoves the ‘Why I’m Uncomfortable With That’ essay back inside — there’s room to spare in the little mental box he’s assigned to process pretty much everything regarding Nik Ryder at a later and less perilous date.

Only when he’s taken in every part of her — no matter how frail or beaten — does Taylor pull up a chair from near the open doorway. Reaches out and covers Kristin’s hand with both of his own.

Because its easier than accepting the truth Taylor just tells himself he’s getting a fever, and that alone is the reason why she’s as cold as ice.

The alternative is there, screaming in his face, but he’s willfully denied the existence of something before, right? He’s pretty much a pro at this point.

“Christ, Krissy… I’m — I’m so sorry.”

Sorry he’s only just coming to see her now. Sorry he let this happen to her in the first place. Sorry he had such a stupid idea as he had.

Only barely registers the trembling in his hand when he reaches out and pushes a strand of her hair aside. He wants to rip the tube out of her mouth — it looks alien; wrong.

Can she hear him? He’s heard different stories of coma patients being aware of what’s around them but — but this isn’t an ordinary coma. This is supernatural, this is painful.

This is all his fault.

“‘Bout time Miss Jane got herself a visitor. I told — oh, hey, don’t I know you?”

He doesn’t place the voice nor the face it belongs to at first. How could he — in such a short amount of time Taylor’s met so many different people, different creatures. To see someone from before all this began is jarring in a way he didn’t expect.

That the badge tacked onto her olive green blazer says VOLUNTEER rather than a name doesn’t help either. Not until her features waver in front of his face — a heat mirage on a distant desert road.

The cemetery tour guide is the literal last person he expected to see now. He tries to be discreet wracking his mind for her name but must not do a very good job; “Tilly, not that I’d expect ya to remember.”

“No no, I — I do. I just… it’s been a weird couple of days.”

Her gaze, bright and with that cat-like intensity Garrus has helped him get accustomed to, look through him to Kristin’s bed. “I bet.”

Right — she had invited him back to the city with a free ride; traded stories about their plans for Mardi Gras and Taylor had gushed about seeing Kristin for the first time in ages.

And something tells him Tilly lives up to that look in her eyes.

“Might I be right in guessin’ this unlucky lady is that friend’a yours?”

Hesitantly he nods — checks behind her to make sure that grumpy nurse isn’t listening in on them. “But don’t — don’t say anything, okay? I —” Nik would kill him if he was suddenly pulled in for questioning.

She taps her plush lips — how is everything about her just shy of perfect? — with a single finger.

“Secret’s safe with me. I’m just glad she’s finally got some company. I make my rounds when I can, but this ain’t my day job.”

Though that begs the question doesn’t it? “Why do I have a feeling this meeting isn’t coincidence?”

“‘Cause ya’ve got a keen sense about you. I can’t quite see what it is, lit’le human, but it’s awful strong.”

Human, she says. “So you know.”

“Know what, cher?”

“I can see through your glamour.”

“Had a hunch —” she takes the opportunity to step into the room properly, closes the curtain behind her for a barrier however thin, “— ‘specially when you kept starin’ at my ears when first we met. Talk about makin’ a girl self-conscious.”

“Oh—I’m sorry.” At least he’s sheepish about it. But the fae woman waves it off with ease.

“You didn’t go tryin’ ta out me to all the humans in my guide group, so there’s no reason for ‘sorries.’ Most mortals don’t got that kind’a sense about them.”

“You run into this kind of thing often?”

“Oh—well no,” and Tilly goes a little red at the tips of her elven ears, “but I’ve been ‘round for quite some time. In a town like Nawlins you can’t even imagine what can be seen in one immortal lifetime.”

Actually, he can? Seeing Kristin and Tilly again reminds him just how little time has actually passed since his biggest concern was making sure he had all of the ingredients for his former roommate’s ‘tried and true’ hangover cure.

It feels like he’s been through the ordeal of several lifetimes in a matter of days.

His silence speaks volumes, has Tilly pulling up a rolling computer chair from outside the curtain to join him in his solitude. She surprises Taylor by reaching out and tilting his head up with a finger crooked under his chin.

He’s quick to notice that unlike Cadence, whose years echo deep in the weaving colors of his irises, there isn’t a hint of her age to be found.

“Though maybe you can imagine…” Its a prompt — an opening.

And maybe its because she’s caught him still raw from taking in Kristin’s current state or just because he needs to get it all out to someone before he literally explodes — but its an opening that Taylor takes. A little too gladly, maybe.

The levee holding in thoughts and words breaks somewhere on his tongue and just pours out. Keeps going and going and going until she feels compelled to stop him with a gesture, grabs an untouched cup of water from Kristin’s bedside, and practically forces him to drink before he’s allowed to, well, keep going.

Lucky for him though she doesn’t seem bothered by it. In fact she’s best described as enraptured in his tale. Gives nods of understanding; gasps of surprise.

Only when he’s exhausted himself of story to tell, catching up at the literal present with— “and now we’re just waiting, but shit I don’t know where he went, actually, I should go look for him…” —does he stop and breathe.

When Tilly finally decides what to say he just knows, somehow, that she’s chosen every word with care. “That’s certainly a story for the ages, Taylor.”

“Not one I would’ve picked for myself if I had the choice.”

“We don’t always get to choose our path in this life, or the next for that matter. You should count ya’self among the lucky to be a part of the makin’ of the world; of the future.”

His brow furrows in confusion. “I don’t get it.”

“No,” the smile she gives him is coy and full of secrets, “I don’t suspect you would.”

He expects her to continue — she doesn’t. And now being left hanging is just shy of uncomfortable. Again, where the hell is Nik…?

“It strikes me, Taylor, that you might not know jus’ what you are. Ain’t you ever wondered?”

Tilly stands and kicks her chair back, makes a point of looking at the closed curtain when the chair collides with the wall loudly but when nothing happens it only encourages her further.

Gets her to grab either side of Taylor’s chair and start pulling him closer to Kristin’s bedside.

“Oi—hey, what’re you doing?” What is she talking about, what he is?

Tilly’s words drip with mischief, “Maybe that bodyguard a’yours is to blame. All this happenin’ at once but no one’s stopped to look at the big picture.”

Taylor recoils just on instinct when she goes to grab his hand but the fae isn’t having it. She wraps her spidery fingers around his wrist and the contact isn’t just warm its like a volcano — scorching hot, bubbling lava, something rising inside of him and swelling to a previously unheard sound.

But he can hear it now. Like its a part of her. Some distant lilting tune that brings to his mind’s eye towering bonfires of majestic purple flames, of waters thousands of miles deep but so clear you can see right to the bottom, of wings the size of an airplane beating heavy and true against a sky riddled with a dozen moons and infinite stars.

He jerks them apart with wide eyes. Finds the smile she’s shining down upon him unnerving in that he can see all of her teeth at once. People who smile like that are always undoubtedly up to something.

The hospital lights flicker, then return to their usual brightness.

He hadn’t even noticed them go dim.

It makes him look around wildly. “Wh—What happened? What did you do to me?” And its only occurred to him what might be considered too late that this Tilly woman might be less a friend than a foe.

“I didn’t do nothin’, cher. Just showed you a teensy bit’a what you’re capable of. Since I bet no one else has bothered to try.”

Before he can protest or even question her there’s a finger to his lips. That same spark only hinted at — the melody stuck on the tip of his tongue. “All these miracles — the good and the bad — and n’one ever stopped to wonder why they keep happenin’ to you?

“Why you can see through the fog, or why ya’ve got literal hell on ya heels?”

“Very bad luck?” He tries through a smushed mouth. Tilly’s laugh is like wind-chimes of ethereal glass.

“Luck ain’t got a side to choose. But luck — luck is a streak of random chance. This is more. After all… what’s our reunitin’ but somethin’ that ought to’ve happened to bring us in the here and now?”

Fabric rustles behind him, enough to distract the fae woman and give him the chance to get her out of his personal bubble.

He’s never been so goddamn happy to see Nik in his life. Even if he plans on hitting the man for abandoning him when this is over with.

There’s a small bouquet of tulips hanging at his side; still with the tag from the hospital gift shop downstairs.

Okay, maybe he’ll save that for another well-deserving time. Because that’s just sweet.

Only there’s nothing sweet about the glower on his face. The way it makes the dark circles under his eyes look harder, the set in his jaw more prominent. He bypasses Taylor to glare right at Tilly. An unreadable expression hidden beneath his well-placed mask.

“What exactly are you implying?” He asks; joins in on the conversation like he’s always been there. Maybe he was — lurking just out of sight.

She cocks her head playfully. “Oh, you know.”

“Pretend I don’t.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

He knows Nik well enough by now — when he doesn’t answer its because he’s still waiting for an answer to his first question.

Then they both look to Taylor — like they’re in each other’s heads. Its unnerving enough already and that just sends goosebumps down his spine.

Tilly with that same hidden knowing. And Nik…

Nik’s scaring him, to be honest, with the unfamiliar expression. An actual expression is rare enough but this… like he’s seeing Taylor for the first time. When he couldn’t have even managed it after being on top of him, being in his most intimate space?

The hunter rubs a hand over his mouth. “I had a hunch, just didn’t have the chance to figure out if it was even possible.”

“How much’a this world is born on impossible, Nik Ryder?” she asks. Earns her a sharp look.

“How can you prove it?”

She wiggles her fingers. “I jus’ did.”

“That ain’t enough to go on.”

“Not for certain — but it’s enough to get y’all in the door.”

“How quickly —”

“Say the word.”

“If he won’t listen —”

“He will.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Easy-peasy,” she presses the tips of her fingers together and Taylor swears he catches sight of sparks where they meet, “it all makes too much sense t’a be just circumstance.”

When Tilly pries her fingertips apart an unnatural breeze, warm and somehow ringed with sunlight, wafts over the room. Rustles the tips of Kristin’s hair and the thin hospital blanket resting atop her. Flutters the drawn curtain and the hem of Nik’s coat.

A single pink petal falls from one of the tulips in his hand — dances practically alive along the tile floor only to be swept out of the room.

Somehow, though, deep in his chest Taylor knows it isn’t the lobby they’ll find on the other side.

In the same way he knows that’s where they need to go next.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to stay. Not with everything going on; the danger he’d be putting her back in. They were still waiting for word on when to join the others for their confrontation with the Garden Coven.

But looking down at Kristin — frail and so so cold… can Nik blame him for finding it hard to leave her side?

“Don’t worry — she’s safe here.”

He doesn’t take the hand the fae offers and thankfully she seems to understand. “And you won’t tell the hospital who she is?”

“A fae’s word is bond.”

“Thank you.” For watching over her, for letting him vent, for whatever she seems to know that Nik hasn’t yet brought to light.

When Taylor turns its to Nik’s bouquet held out in offering. He’s seen those hands; what they’re capable of. Strangling goblins and firing crossbows and the way they cradled his jaw with yearning. Yet now they’re trembling — the fear of rejection silent but there.

“You said you should’a gotten her flowers.” Explains the Nighthunter absently.

Taylor takes them for the gift — and wayward apology — that they are. Lays them across Kristin’s lap and presses a chaste kiss to her clammy forehead.

“I’ll be back, Krissy. Get well soon.”

Nik waits until they can cross the curtain’s threshold together. Must be feeling some kind of sappy because he doesn’t even try to move away when Taylor finds reassurance in his hand.

There’s a light that shouldn’t be there glowing through the gap where it brushes the floor.

“Are you gonna explain what’s happening before we go, or —”

“I don’t wanna be wrong — you deserve better than that,” small blessings in the fact that Nik seems just as apprehensive about the first foot forward, “but if I’m not… you need to be ready for everything to change from here on out.”

He probably doesn’t mean to be funny. Taylor laughs anyway. “Like it hasn’t already?” — then, because the humor is fleeting — “You’ll stay with me, right?”

“The whole way.”

Those three words — and not even the three most important words in someone’s life — are enough to give him the courage to do what Nik won’t.

He puts his first foot forward and pulls back the curtain.

[abundantchewtoys]

Homestuck Candy p17-23 (holy shit)

So, yeah, this baby coming up.

I wonder if there's going to be callbacks to Dirk's art for Caliborn in any form. ("jake no, what are you doing - to our baby?")

John can't erase this baby in any case, since no retcon powers.

I wonder if we're going to learn its name. I kind of like one of Blaperile's theories, that he would name a boy after his Dad... It would reveal one of those long hidden mysteries in Homestuck.

Otherwise... Liv? :P

Theresa, after Terezi?

---

Page 17

Oh wow.

OH WOW.

Yeah, now we're getting to the juicy bits.

The candy is turning into diabetes around John. Details about the past are getting vague for his friends, the harmony trumping the validity of their experiences. It's all turning out a lot more existential for John in this path than I thought!

"Harry Anderson Egbert", heheh. But yeah, John has a good point. He wants his wife to have some identity, but it's like she's ... malleable, or something. Everything shapes around each other and forms the least offensive shape.

On the one hand, I want to imagine Vriska Lalonde-Maryam and Harry as childhood friends, growing up together.

On the other hand, I wonder what there is in store for this John. He's lost his retcon powers. But he says Terezi is the only thing that still makes sense to him. So maybe, if he rejects this reality, he can escape it again?

It all is going to depend a lot on what Terezi has to offer. (Going by the assumption it really is Terezi, by the way, not an imposter.)

It would really be something if this John, a twenty-four year old now, crosses back into the Meat timeline. He'd be leaving a lot behind, and frankly, be a shitty husband and father by going through with it. But yeah, Meat John is dead, has been for some time.

Jegus, John keeps filling his own dead self's shoes. Alternate John who dated Vriska. (Okay, in fact, in that situation, it was more of an inversion as the other John continued his developing relationship. On the other hand, for Davesprite, alpha John must've felt like the replacement John in the beginning.) Post-Retcon John who was killed by Typheus. Even Poppop Crocker, when he met up with B2 Dad.

The Candy path is definitely shaping up to be quite suspenseful, all expectations be damned!

---

Page 18

Wow.

Jake's so much more mature here. I want to see more of this man.

So yeah, it had occurred to me that part of the reason Gamzee hooked up with Jake and Jane could be because he was somewhat thinking of a) the other Page he was attracted to, and b) the Hope and Life players in his session, who were close to him on the hemospectrum?

But... I hadn't imagined Gamzee being Jane's kismesis. But it works so well. Got to say, it brings back memories of him on her land during the session.

So Jake and Jane had a baby! The first cross-species naming, then. After Tavros.

It's remarkable, isn't it? Dad, GCATavrosprite, Jasprosesprite^2, Nannasprite, Nannasprite*2... They fell on the wayside, we have no idea what happened to them. The sprites could've dissolved, we didn't seem them in the official credits after all, only the extra possibly outside-of-canon snaps, explaining why Jake would name his firstborn after Tavros. But Dad?

As for Jade and Davekat. Wow. Well, I guess, I really want to know now whether this revelation is also canon.

Cause Jade is either intersex or trans now, after fusing with Beq. (Also, it might be a dog penis, but capable of transferring human DNA? *Shudder.*) I can understand this would make her uneasy in exploring sexual options with Dave.

Wow. Yes, it seems that things are, in a very different but equal sense than in the Meat path, very raw and heartwrenching in this timeline as well.

At the start of the page, I started thinking for a minute that Gamzee would also find something off about the timeline. It would have been something for him to join John in pursuit of relevance, truth and all that. But no, it was just to bait Jane, it seems. If anyone, it would be Jake who might go through something similar as John.

Guess we'll have to wait and see.

Still said to see Jake getting the small end of the relationship stick, once again. Boy has no luck in love.

It was interesting to get Jane's honest take on politics on Earth C. If she and the others had just been honest with each other, they might have been able to struck an accord. Alas, through Dirk's meddling, it was not to be.

Also, it was funny to have Gamzee refer to the 5000-year skip in sweeps. Yeah, that... That doesn't convert well.

---

Page 19

Wow that took a turn!!

I thought it might have been time for them to discuss their relationship. How Jade has turned into the third wheel stopping the Davekat bicycle from taking off.

(Those references to Jane and Jake, I could've gone about.)

But then.

Something hit.

I thought instantly it would've been the other Jade. A moment or two I thought an ecto baby or First Guardian infant, for these three to take care off in lieu of a biological child. But no.

It's really REALLY the Postscriptum Jade!! (Well, I hope it's her, and that the Postscriptum doesn't take place on Future Candy Earth C.)

She "escaped" the black hole, into relevance, the PS said. So... It seems... As if...

Dirk was very much wrong.

Candy Earth C is going to play an important part in what's to come, yet.

Unless this Jade has only come to lift some of the people here away, like the mentioned Blue Fairy.

But in any case... It seems Davebot and Aradia can't be far behind.

This idyllic fantasy, who's already shown cracks, is about to be shattered.

What hit Jade, though, it almost seemed like those shards from the Furthest Ring, though it was called massless, here.

---

Page 20

Wow.

So, this Jade is suffering from a metaphysical poison. Just like John was from Lord English's tooth. Only... This Jade went into the black hole, and last we saw she was okay.

Is it because she's back in the "real" world that it's affecting her now?

For a minute there I thought Jane and Kanaya and Karkat could actually *explain* their grievances to each other. But no, alas. Karkat, validly I must say, just exploded with everything he's pent up.

Gotta say, if the trolls are getting antsy in this timeline, just imagine how it was going to pan out in the Meat timeline! I'm reminded of the troll rebellion that was referenced in the non-canon snaps.

Also, of course. OF COURSE, these Vriska and Tavros would clash on their first meet. Everyone should've seen this coming.

If anything salvages this scene, it must be Jake being able to placate the two toddlers. It's that sort of attention that Joey and Jude deserved to get from their Pa.

It's interesting to note how Rose is no longer sure about their situation. Maybe that's the influence of this corpse and its heavily-dripped-in-canon origin.

Roxy keeps being almost a vanilla version of herself, although the intent to hold a corpse party is horribly in character for her. Still, she feels less *real* than the other characters, who all seem to be kind of recovering from their diabetes-filled state.

John and Roxy, and Dave, Karkat and Jade are in dire need of some therapy, in any case. It was nice to see Karkat telling Gamzee off though. And weird to see Jane and Roxy keep jumping to his side. Like, they have no idea of the history here, and seem to think anyone can redeem themselves if they try hard enough. It kind of shows how they're not really all that streetwise.

Oh, forgot to mention - John has a moustache now. A manly one. Dear god, he's gone full Sassacre :P

---

Page 21

WHAT THE SHIT.

WHAT THE SHIIIIT.

WHAT THE SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Roxy was right. The chances of all of them coming together like that, with all the stuff going on between them, are so infinitesimal.

But then she got into labor, and I thought that was that.

But

But

So, Aradia and Sollux turn up, and when I heard Jade had the shard still in her torso....

It would seem that this Jade isn't Postscriptum Jade... Yet.

Aradia and Sollux found a way out of the Furthest Ring on their own??? And somehow ended up on Earth C without explanation. Just when last page I almost thought as if all missing trolls mentioned in the epilogues' ToC were going to end up appearing as babies to the characters.

Karkat and Jane are in dire need of an actual debate.

Rose's lack of a good consolation was hilariously described.

But of course, the meat (Meat) of this page.

Is that Alt Calliope found a way through the Black Hole into the Candy path, and sent Reload Jade's corpse through it.

And just like in the Candy path, alpha Calliope is scared off. But it bears mentioning that Calliope herself was acting kind of weird, and was weirdly absent for a lot of the pages. It almost seemed to set her up as the narrator of this path, trying to give everyone what she thought they wanted. The fact that she and Roxy "broke character" for a moment was one of the things pointing in this direction.

But now Alt Calliope is here.

The narration is about to force everyone to confront who they really are. For better or worse.

I wouldn't be surprised if this ends with Candy Earth C as the battlefield seen in the Postscriptum. But what does that imply for Meat Earth C, where Alt Calliope ALSO put her influence to work.

She may claim not to influence, but even when she retreated into the narration, the atmosphere wasn't just magically improved over there.

Aradia and Sollux talking with Gamzee was... weird, but funny. I wonder if they are supposed to have aged some sweeps in the meantime. We know Gamzee must be about 8.5 sweeps now, while Karkat and the other trolls are about 11 sweeps.

I guess it's time we learn what Alt Calliope understands under "protecting" a world. I don't think Meat Dirk is coming over there, though I'm unsure what his grand design really is.

---

Page 22

Oh my god.

what is happening.

So Alt Calliope's influence didn't really do anything at that point but upset the group.

And now a 3 year time skip took place. So... wow. They're all 27 now.

And the troll ghosts that were sucked into the black hole are appearing everywhere now. The government is going bananas, but in fact, it must all be repetitions of the same 24 trolls, how weird is that.

I'm sure that in due time, some human ghosts will be appearing too. But this is just getting ridiculous.

Karkat went underground and into the resistance. Jane, as the shadow president, is secretly maneuvering things to invade the troll kingdom. This was supposed to be the Candy path, I thought it was going to be all shits 'n giggles!!!!

I do like that John, finally, after years, is starting to realize Terezi doesn't share anything about her at all. He asked for a picture, which I guess is nice. But, just like in the Meat path, he's torn up about the girl that he didn't stay with.

This has "disaster waiting to happen" written all over it.

Calliope seems to hunker after Roxy, but she still doesn't act on those feelings. It's like a twisted inversion of the Meat path.

It's like, all the sugar we started with has been turned into energy, and the rush has dissipated, and now there's only a tummy ache.

---

Page 23

Wow.

What the shit.

I could only root for John and Tavros' relationship. Seems like the little man is very sharp for his age. Since Harry is into atomic clocks as well, it seems that the tradition of children being into adult subjects like philosophy and psychology and science, continues.

But alas, it was not meant to be.

John finally couldn't take it no more, he had to scream what he'd internalized for so long. But it turned into something really messy, towards Jane and Jade. All valid points, but by losing control he most importantly scared Tavros and Harry Anderson.

The reaction of the other people was so... empty, though. Non-confrontational to a fault.

And I agree with John, Gamzee has apparently set himself up as Jane's subjugglator.

For all that Alt Calliope was saying, she sure seems to have NOT used any influence, though. And things very much have gone to shit here.

It was very cool to get to know Tavros and Harry Anderson as people, though. Tavros is indeed a kind of brother, biologically, to John (and Jade, and a half brother to June and Joey) in appearance. But it's like, personality-wise, he's more like a sad but smart version of Tavros. While his speech is colored in Gamzee's purple, ugh.

And Harry Anderson... A prankster in the making, for sure.

So, what is Terezi going to talk to him about? Is she talking to him from the end of the Meat path, just before she left Earth C? Or is she talking to him just after the other John died. :(

I can say this: I didn't think for a millisecond I would get THIS attached to people from the Candy path.

[thebest-medicine]

Leave it to Chance (Spin the Bottle)

A/N: I saw a prompt (x and x) about using spin the bottle like whoever spins it gets to tickle the person it lands on. I’ve also seen a game before of using dice, like if you have 2 dice one can correspond with the spot you get tickled and the other can correspond with how long you get tickled. Anyway, here’s some spn trash of that.

Words: 3,150

AO3 Link (x)

Characters: Charlie Bradbury, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Kevin Tran (non-shippy but you could interpret some sevin and destiel from this)

It was silly, they knew, a game decided upon by a group that had maybe one too many drinks to be thinking clearly in the first place. But here they were, their little makeshift family, enjoying the low light and calm feeling of the bunker. The walls surrounded by soil, keeping them and their secrets hidden. They were safe here. They were home.

Their little group gathered on the soft carpet within the library, a den of their own making. Charlie stood to collect dice that they would need to use. Dean sat between his brother and Cas. Cas made conversation with him, teasing Dean as he insisted that he’d played many a round of spin the bottle in high school, though admittedly never like this. Sam was smiling, laughing a bit as he chatted with Kevin, who tried his best to look comfortable despite being arguably the most sober and most jittery about what they were doing.

Charlie returned to complete their circle after she happily selected two non-identical dice to use for their game, one blue with white dots, and one white with yellow dots. Blue had to be the time, because blue was a sad color, she insisted. Yellow, the color of sunshine and happiness, would represent the location.

“Okay, so, lay it on me.” Dean asked Charlie, the unofficial officiant of the game. “How are we doing this?”

“Well, first, we need a bottle.” She started.

Dean’s hand shot up, an empty beer in hand. “Check!”

She took it and set it in the middle of the circle.

“Ok.” Charlie clapped once. “Everyone gets a turn to spin. Whoever spins, does the tickling. Whoever it lands on, gets tickled.” Charlie winked.

A collective blush overran a few faces among the circle, namely Kevin’s and Dean’s.

“Then!” Charlie cleared her throated dramatically. “The person who it landed on must roll The Dice Of Destiny!” She announced.

Castiel chuckled at her showmanship.

“Blue! Time! This shows how many minutes you’ll be tickled for. A one will bring you one minute, two for two, six for six, etc.” She explained.

“Simple enough.” Sam agreed.

“Yellow! Location! Now this one, this may make or break you.” Charlie ‘ooh’d and ‘ahh’d dramatically. She took another swig of her mojito. “This little die holds the power to show WHERE you will be tickled.” Charlie smirked as she continued. “A one, your feet. A two, your legs. A three, your stomach and sides. A four, your ribs. A five, under your arms. A six, your neck. Any questions?”

Kevin timidly raised a hand. “So, if we get something like... two fives... and we have to be t-tickled under our arms for 5 minutes.” He shuddered a moment at the thought. “Then, but, what if we can’t- what if we can’t keep our arms up?”

“The other members of the circle will do their part to help keep you in place for the duration of your tickles.” Charlie smiled.

“You mean hold you down.” Sam clarified with a wink.

“I do.” Charlie waggled her eyebrows.

Kevin nodded with a blush.

“Ok. Ready?”

Everyone gave a nod.

“Alright. I’ll go first?” Charlie began.

She took the bottle and placed it in the middle. Everyone’s eyes watched it like a hawk as she spun.

Around and around it went, the tipsy eyes of the circle unable to be drawn away as the anticipation built. Finally, the bottle settled, pointing directly at Sam.

“Fuck.” He chuckled. “Alright give me the dice.”

Sam held them in his hands a moment, pretending to say a little prayer.

Everyone watched almost as intently as Sam as the dice were released onto the carpet. A two for time. A six for location.

Charlie grinned the widest of them all, patting her lap expectantly. “C’mere Sam, rest your head in my lap.” She sing-songed.

Sam grumbled but obliged, laying across the circle and putting his head face up between Charlie’s knees.

“Timer?” Charlie asked.

“Got it.” Dean supplied, holding up his phone.

Sam was stuck between closing his eyes and watching to see when Charlie would strike, which left his eyes opening and closing every few seconds. “Okay just, get it over with.” He pleaded.

Charlie was happy to.

Sam scrunched with eyes shut, his lips pursing tightly to hold in his giggles as Charlie’s nails scribbled beneath his ears and around his neck. She got just under his chin and her fingers make quick work of his defenses.

Sam’s giggles poured out slowly at first, then all at once.

“T-Time?” Sam begged.

“Oh, man. I was so wrapped up in that girly little giggle you had going on that I forgot to start it.” Dean grinned.

“Fuck you.” Sam hissed.

“Should we start it again at 2?” Dean suggested.

“No!” Sam insisted.

“Yeah I think it’s been about 2 minutes, gotta save some time for the rest of you guys.” Charlie smirked.

Dean couldn’t help but look disappointed while Sam stuck his tongue out at him, going back to his seat.

“Alright Kev, your turn!” Charlie passed him the bottle.

Kevin sighed in relief, knowing that he couldn’t be the victim here. He spun the bottle, and it landed on Charlie.

“Oh man... alright!” Charlie chuckled as she grabbed the dice, making a show of shaking them up and rolling them.

Three for time. One for location.

“Oh no! Not my feet!” Charlie whined.

“Rules are rules.” Cas chimed in.

“Fine...” Charlie grumbled as she untied her shoes and slipped them off along with her socks. “Go easy on me, Kevvy.”

Kevin smirked at her as she begrudgingly placed her feet in his lap.

“Sam, you’re in charge of timing this. Remember I was fair to you.” Charlie noted.

“Okay.” Sam laughed. “Don’t worry.”

“Great. Okay, well. I’m ready.” Charlie gulped dramatically.

Kevin pulled back her toes and started slowly wiggling his fingers under them, just at the top of the ball of her foot, like Gabriel had done to him so many times before. He knew it would drive her crazy.

Charlie squirmed and gasped, a stream of giggles coming out of her mouth.

He slowly picked up the pace, wiggling and scribbling his nails over the ball of her right foot. After about a minute, he switched to her left. Charlie shrieked when a new foot was tormented.

For the last minute, Kevin decided upon a grand finale of viciously wigging his fingers over both of her feet. Charlie tried her best to stay in place but kept squirming away, leading to Dean jumping in to hold her legs down.

The timer ran out just as Charlie ran out of breath. “Whew! That was crazy. You’ve got some mad skills, Kev.”

“Must be that he’s learning since he gets tortured all the time.” Dean interjected.

Kevin blushed.

“Okay. Sam’s turn!”

Sam took the bottle, rolling it a moment in his hands to get a feel for it. He set it in the center of the circle, adjusting it a few times before he finally settled on the exact middle.

“Oh my god just do it already!” Dean complained.

“Shut up and drink your beer.” Sam laughed.

Dean rolled his eyes, but took a swig anyway.

Spin. Spin. Spin. And it slowed to a stop just at Dean.

“Shit.” Dean groaned. “I hate you. You did that on purpose.”

Sam laughed, “How could I?”

“I don’t know you... physics. Mr. Stanford.” Dean grumbled.

“Sure. Take the dice. This one’s all you.” Sam handed him the set of blue and yellow.

Dean shook them vigorously before dropping them to the carpeted floor. Five for time, five for location. He stared at them in horror. “No fair that’s the longest time so far.”

“You’re only the third one to go.” Cas responded.

“Whatever.” Dean huffed.

“I doubt you’ll be able to keep your arms up, you’re too fucking ticklish.” Sam laughed.

Dean blushed, hoping others blamed it on the alcohol. He opened his mouth to retort.

“I’ll help with that.” Cas suggested.

“So.... who times, Kev? Charlie?” Sam asked.

“Kevin, could you? I wanna have my full focus on Dean’s face while he laughs his head off.” Charlie grinned.

Dean blushed more.

“Can do.” Kevin replied.

Charlie slurped down another gulp of her mojito before inching closer to Dean, who laid down hesitantly.

“Okay, give me your arms.” Cas ordered.

Dean could barely muster the will to lift his arms over his head when all his brain could say was ‘oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck fuck you sam’.

Sam smiled with glee as he brought his hands down toward Dean’s arms. He hovered just about the armpits.

“Ready Kevin? Count me down.” Sam asked.

“Ok, three.... two... one!” Kevin announced, clicking the timer to start.

Dean arched his back and turned his head, trying to bury it into his arm while Sam tickled wickedly under his arms.

“NahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHA FUCKYOUSAHAHAHAHAM!” Dean wailed, laughing madly.

“Aw, I love you too Dean.” Sam laughed.

Charlie watched on with a menacing smile. “Gotta get pics of this.” She announced, grabbing her phone.

“NohohohHOHOHO!” Dean protested.

Cas smiled fondly down at him.

Sam tickled from Dean’s elbows down to his underarms, scribbling down to his upper ribs as well and making Dean jump. He drilled into his armpits and chuckled every time he made Dean jump or shriek (which was a lot).

“Annnnd we are approaching the end...” Kevin announced. “Ten, nine...” he began counting down. Sam tickled even more vigorously for the last ten seconds and Dean could swear he was seeing stars.

Finally, the time was up and he was released. He barely moved from the floor at first, trying to hug his arms down and brush away the lingering tingle of Sam’s fingers.

“That was horrible.”

“And hilarious!” Charlie smirked.

“Whatever.” Dean continued. “Finally it’s my turn.” He grabbed the bottle and quickly spun it.

“Cas.” Dean’s voice sounded like the snake trying to charm Eve into eating the apple, smooth, secretive, threatening. “Looks like it’s your turn!”

Cas rolled the dice, getting four for time and two for location. Well shit.

Sam offered to hold Castiel’s legs while Charlie timed. Dean sat backwards across his middle, facing his thighs.

Cas felt like praying. The slacks he was wearing did little to impede Dean’s fingers as they began squeezing his sensitive legs just above the knee.

He yelped out a laugh as he fought the urge to scream. Dean was an expert at taking Cas apart, especially somewhere as sensitive and intimate as his thighs.

“Aww I bet this is driving you crazy, Cas.” Dean teased.

“StahahahahahahahahHAHAHHOP DON’T BEHEHEHE MEAN!” Cas cried out amongst his frantic laughter.

“What, does that make it tickle more?” Dean continued. “It’s not my fault you’re so sensitive.” Dean squeezed into the skin on the inside of Castiel’s thighs, making him kick so hard that it almost threw Sam off.

Finally, to Castiel’s relief, the timer sounded.

Dean’s mischievous look told Cas that it was far from over in the long run.

Castiel sat up, his appearance disheveled as he took hold of the bottle. As it spun in circles, eyes still watched it cautiously, a collective breath was held as it began to slow.

Dean.

“Well shit. That’s not fair. Sam already got me.” Dean protested.

“The bottle speaks the truth, Dean!” Charlie yelled back.

“But no one’s even gotten Kevin yet!” Dean whined.

“Complainer.” Sam teased. “Suck it up.”

Dean felt the urge to protest further, but when he opened his mouth he instead decided to sip on his beer. “Fine.” He reached out his hand. “Hit me.”

The dice appeared in his hand as he threw a roll. One for time, excellent. Three for location, not so excellent.

Dean looked from the dice slowly up to Cas, who wore a small smirk. Revenge would be sweet, it said.

“Can I reroll?” Dean asked.

“No!” Charlie, Kevin, Sam, and Cas all replied.

“After the treatment you gave me...” Cas began. “Expect fair retaliation.”

Dean felt himself shrinking.

Sam grabbed Dean’s arms and pulled him back to lay down on the carpet, holding his arms over his head. Cas took a seat on his middle. Kevin and Charlie offered to hold his feet to prevent extra kicking.

“It’s only one minute, why are you so nervous, Dean?” Cas teased.

Dean shot up his best attempt at a glare.

When the timer, set between Charlie and Kevin, began, Cas wasted no time digging directly into Dean’s hips.

Dean knee that was coming, but regardless he howled, his back arching up as much as it could as his whole body squirmed. “NahahahHAHAHAHAAHAHO NOHOHOH LHAJAHA CAHAHAAHHAHAAH CASHHAHAHA PLHEHEHEHEASE I CAN’T!” Dean wailed.

“Only 45 more seconds to go!” Charlie reassured him.

Cas drilled, scribbled, and wiggled his fingers ruthlessly into Dean’s most sensitive spot.

When there were only about 20 seconds left, Cas spidered his fingers all over Dean’s belly, throwing him off and making his laughter change form and pitch. Not as desperate but still tormented.

The final 5 seconds, which everyone counted down together, Cas squeezed Dean’s hips once for each second before finally releasing him.

Dean stared up blurrily at his friends, wishing he could muster the energy or mood to glare at any of them but only able to poorly choke back a goofy smile.

“I Hahahate you.” Dean said as he sat back up.

Back to Charlie, when she received Cas as a victim again. He had a two for time and a four for location. Charlie tickled his ribs silly as he giggled and squirmed.

Kevin got Sam, who rolled a one for location and a four for time. Kevin took his time tickling Sam’s huge feet. Under his toes made him giggle sweetly, though it took Dean and Cas to hold his legs down. Kevin saved this information for future use.

Sam, in turned, got Kevin. A huge smile formed on his face. Kevin found himself blushing and tried to take a sip of his wine cooler to mask it as something caused by tipsiness. Kevin rolled a six for time and a five for location. He stared in horror at the dice before him.

“No, you can’t...” Kevin whined, clenching his arms to his sides. “Have mercy...”

“You’re right, Kev.” Sam nodded before drawing his lip up into a smirk. “I can’t have mercy.”

Kevin rolled his eyes, squirming as he tried to situate himself. Sam sat over his head, asking for his arms which Kevin reluctantly gave. Sam sat on them and wiggled his fingers teasingly over Kevin’s armpits.

Kevin thought he might die.

“Go!” Charlie demanded, announcing the timer had begun.

Sam wasn’t a complete sadist (or maybe he was and this was worse?) to Kevin, he began at Kevin’s elbows and slowly drew his fingers down, tickling gently.

He swirled them around and around Kevin’s armpits for the first couple of minutes, peppering in pokes and scribbles as he went along. Kevin was squealing and out of breath, kicking his feet aimlessly at the onslaught.

Once the halfway mark passed, Sam turned up the heat. He began tickling more directly, harder, even driving his fingers into the center of Kevin’s armpits.

Kevin spasmed and thrashed and laughed his head off.

In the final 30 seconds, which in Kevin’s mind took hours to come, Sam drilled his thumbs into the middle of Kevin’s hollows, driving him mad with sensation and laughter.

When the time finally came, Kevin couldn’t stop laughing. Sam had moved off of him and offered him a hand to get up, but Kevin remained on the floor in a giggly puddle.

“Mahahahahan.....” Kevin eventually spoke up. “That was brutal...”

Sam winked at him, making Kevin blush again.

Finally, he sat back up and rejoined the circle.

Dean’s turn, which he eagerly awaited. He took the bottle and spun vigorously. Spin. Spin. Spin.

Eventually, it landed...

On himself.

“Oh, what now I spin again?” Dean asked.

“...No.” Charlie replied, holding out the dice to him with a smile.

“What?????” Dean stared in disbelief.

“Whoever it lands on gets tickled.” Charlie shrugged.

“I shouldn’t have asked....” Dean wiped a hand down his face.

“And, the yellow dice will be how many people tickle you. One: one, two: two, three: three, four, five, or six: everyone.” Charlie explained gleefully. “Blue is still time.”

“What? That’s- no-“

“Rules are rules, Dean!”

“You’re just making this shit up!”

“Rules are rules!” Charlie pressed the dice toward him more firmly.

Eventually he sighed, and took them. Time, six. People, four.

“Nooooooooooooo.” Dean whined.

“Yessssssssss.” Sam replied in an imitation.

“I despise all of you.” Dean noted.

“I’m sure.” Cas replied.

Dean rolled his eyes, huffing and puffing as he laid back on the carpet. Cas took a seat at his feet, as dean insisted Cas not have access to his stomach again. Sam above his head holding his arms. Charlie and Kevin sat back to back on his middle, Charlie facing his tummy and Kevin facing his thighs.

“Ready.” Charlie began.

“No.” Dean replied.

“Not you-“ Charlie stuck out her tongue at him. “Set.”

Dean clenched his eyes shut.

“Go!” Charlie declared, and they all dug in.

Dean’s eyes formed tears a minute in with Sam tickling all over his sensitive underarms and alternating with his neck. His long fingers made quick work of Dean’s ribs, squeezing and pinching them.

Charlie tickled ruthlessly over Dean’s belly. She dipped a finger into his bellybutton, squeezed his sides, spidered all over the skin, even lifting his shirt to get more direct contact, and took some time to squeeze and scribble on his hips.

Kevin tickled behind Dean’s knees, squeezed their tops, and tickled up and down Dean’s thighs. His legs couldn’t escape due to Castiel’s prescience on his ankles.

Cas tickled over the tops of Dean’s feet, around and under his toes, between them, then the balls, then arches, then heels of his feet. He would tickle back up the sides, and then begin the process again.

Dean thought he might lose his mind.

Then, the timer buzzed.

Finally, it came to Castiel’s turn again.

“It better not fucking land on me.” Dean glared as he collected himself.

Luckily for him, it landed on Charlie, who rolled a six for location and three for time. Cas tickled all around her neck and ears as she giggled lightly.

“Maybe we should continue another time.” Sam began. “Dean seems a little pooped.” He nudged his brother’s side.

“Shut up, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

“Sounds good. Who’s ready for a movie?” Charlie announced as she stood. 

“Yep. I need another round.” Dean stretched his arms and began to stand as Sam reached out to poke his ribs.

“Don’t fucking start!” Dean hissed, jumping up to escape the touch. He followed Charlie quickly out of the room.

Everyone else soon followed.

[dr-m-r-ma]

The Design in Her Mind

Part 3/?

Genre: drama, romance Rating: PG-13 Group: Monsta X

Summary: Sooyeon meets Monsta X by chance on the streets when they try to help her and her friends shake off creepers, but the meeting ends on a sour note. Some time later, Sooyeon meets the boys again, but at Starship’s headquarters. Although they act cold to each other, Shownu becomes more and more curious about her.

Disclaimer: This is 100% fictional and my own story. It is unrelated to the actual events and real persons of Monsta X and Starship. In regards to this particular fic, I’ve created new K-Pop groups and Sooyeon Kim is my original character. Parts will be written in Korean with English translations. I did not major/study in English/Korean, nor was I ever strong in English/Korean grammar, so there will be grammatical mistakes. This fanfic is written in third person and past-tense for ease of writing.

November 24 I don’t want to go to the drinking party. I don’t want to go to the drinking party. I don’t want to go to the drinking party. I don’t want to go to the drinking party. I don’t want to go to the drinking party. Aren’t they just using my welcome party as an excuse to get wasted?

*Clink* *Clink*

“건배!!” (Translation: “Cheers!!”)

The tiny glasses of soju were tapped against each other for the fifth time. It was only the first second round, but Sooyeon could feel herself getting drunk fast. She usually could hold up longer, but the nervousness she had during her orientation and training came crashing down as she chugged each shot.

Glancing at her director, a classic middle-aged man who would rather drink and party with his coworkers than go home to a tired wife, Sooyeon could tell that there were more rounds of drinking to come that night. Before she could get any tipsier than she was, with her best acting face on, she gasped loudly. “어떡하지!! 집열쇠를 사무실에 놓고 왔네요…” (Translation: “Oh no!! I left my house key at the office…”)

She paused and looked around. No one seemed to really pay attention to her, ironically, even though it was her welcome party. As she started to pack up, quietly said, “버스 패스도 놓고왔네… 아이쿠… 빨리 택시 잡아야되서…. 그럼 다들 다음주에 뵐게요!” (Translation: “Oof… I even left my bus pass… guess I gotta quickly hail a taxi… so I’ll see you all next week!”) In the last moment, a couple of hands maybe tried to grab her, but Sooyeon dodged them and wobbled out the door.

As she got into a taxi, she looked down into her purse and sighed. Well… I really did forget my bus pass at the office…. After directing the taxi driver to headquarters, Sooyeon sat back in her seat, rolled down the window and watched the street lamps blur into each other. The cool breeze soothed the alcohol sloshing around in her stomach, and soon she was lost in thought.

The work wasn’t all too hard and she wasn’t the only new-hire on the team, but it was definitely not an environment she was used to. She had heard the stories from her cousins and watched them in dramas, but she didn’t expect it to be so similar. Her experience at tech start-ups in the States played a stark contrast against her current position at the agency in Korea. Still, it wasn’t the worst like she was expecting, and… well, she was working strictly with the global business team and marketing team.

After that night, she never saw Monsta X again. Even though they shared the same building, chances were that Monsta X had lessons at a different building or their practice time coincided with her late hours in her cubicle. They never crossed paths even in the hallways, and frankly, that’s how she wanted it to be. She was forever grateful for her cousin’s friend who made sure she worked with a good number of women and the artists she was in charge of were all female.

In the back of her mind, she could hold onto the memory of Shownu gazing at her with obvious interest. It sent shivers down her back, and she wasn’t  sure if it was because the air had gotten chilly, or if the memory scared her, or… if she….

“--기요? 저기요! 아가씨! 다 왔는데…” (Translation: “--me? Excuse me! Miss! We’re here…”)

Sooyeon snapped out of her daze instantly when she heard the taxi driver call out to her. “앗, 넵…” (Translation: “Oops, yup…”) She handed the cash to him and thanked him for the ride before climbing out of the car.

She somehow managed to sober up a bit more, but she was definitely still tipsy. Even though her mind was clear and her eyes had a straightforward path, Sooyeon could feel her feet flopping all over the place. Her mind was soon to be loopy if she didn’t find her bus pass soon and if she didn’t go home to crash in bed. Ah bed… bed sounds like a really nice idea right now….

As she swung open the door, her thoughts were filled with laying down on her soft bed and sleeping, so she didn’t see the person coming out of the same door.

“악--!” (Translation: “Ack--!”)

Sooyeon yelped, “앗-- 죄송합니다!” (Translation: “Oops-- I’m sorry!”) She wobbled around the person, but stopped when a hand pulled at her sleeve.

“어….. 저기… 괜찮아요?” (Translation: “Uh…… um… are you okay?”)

Suddenly, she was shaken out of her stupor and even though she was still very tipsy, she could recognize the voice. Her eyes shifted up from the hand on her sleeve to the face and she sighed. Son. Hyun. Woo. Sooyeon nodded and pulled her sleeve out of his grasp. “네, 괜찮아요.” (Translation: “Yes, I’m fine.”)

However, she rocked back and forth on her heels, like a toy swaying on springs, and Shownu couldn’t help but stare at her with worry. When she could see the blatant concern on his face, Sooyeon held out her palms. “진짜! 괜찮아요!” (Translation: “I’m! Really okay!”) Turning to the side, she squinted at the elevators and pointed in the direction. “그럼! 전 올라가서 버스패스 찾아야해서… 또 만나요!” (Translation: “Then! Since I need to go look for my bus pass upstairs… see you around!”)

Shownu was caught off guard by her friendly tone and the last few words. Maybe she was really drunk and she wasn’t aware of what she was saying, but her guard was definitely lower and she seemed way more approachable. He learned her name was Sooyeon through the other employees, but it was only then that they were really talking… even though she didn’t seem all that present in the moment.

As she walked towards the elevators, Shownu ran up to her side.

Sooyeon looked at him in confusion. “어디... 가는 길 아니었어요?” (Translation: “Weren’t you... going somewhere?”) Pointing at the elevators once more, she asked, “여긴...왜….?” (Translation: “Why… here….?”)

For a moment, he contemplated telling her he was worried. But for fear that she would recoil at his words, Shownu smiled and mumbled, “저도 뭘 놓고 왔어요.” (Translation: “I also left something behind.”)

“위에서요…?” (Translation: “Upstairs…?”) Sooyeon asked incredulously. The boys never had to go upstairs where all the offices were, but she simply shrugged it off. Her mind was buzzing from the alcohol and she just wanted to go home and crash into her bed.

There was an awkward air between them as they waited for the elevator to arrive, and tipsy Sooyeon couldn’t take the silence anymore. Looking at his blurry figure on the elevator door reflection, Sooyeon asked, “요즘엔 먹방 안 하시나봐요?” (Translation: “Are you not doing mukbang [eating broadcasts] these days?”)

She could see his eyes widen, as if he couldn’t believe she just spoke to him. In that moment, Sooyeon didn’t understand, but to Shownu it was like someone had just led him to a surprise birthday party. The fact that she spoke to him first and so casually stunned him, but her confused stare made him chuckle. How could she not know how different she was each time he met her?

“아, 네, 요즘 좀 바빠서 매주 못하고 있어요…” (Translation: “Ah, yes, I’ve been busy lately so I haven’t been able to do it every week…”) Shownu smiled widely as he rubbed the back of his neck shyly. It looked as though he was shy from the sudden interest coming from Sooyeon, and his reaction caught her off guard.

That’s cute. Wait. Shit. No. She shook her head to shake off the thoughts, but accidentally shook too hard. The alcohol in her system simmered and it felt like her head was rocked from side to side.

*Ding*

The elevator arrived right when Sooyeon got dizzy spells, and as she followed Shownu in, she tripped over absolutely nothing and nearly ran straight into the other side of the elevator.

“워!” (Translation: “Whoa!”)

Shownu instinctively grabbed her shoulders firmly and pulled her away before she could run her face into the wall. The force of his pull, however, caused her to wobble around the elevator. Feeling more tipsy, more dizzy and more drowsy, Sooyeon clutched his arm for leverage, and the doors closed just like that.

As the ride started to head to the third floor, Sooyeon squinted her eyes slightly to hold down the headache that was starting to form. Not realizing she was still holding onto Shownu’s arm, she continued to hold tightly with both of her hands. Her body weight was slightly leaning against his body, and Shownu stiffened up immediately.

He, on the other hand, didn’t know what to make of the situation. His heart beat faster and faster every second, and he could feel the heat flaring up from his back up to his neck and ears. He held his breath, hoping Sooyeon didn’t notice how nervous he was, but he had to constantly remind himself to exhale so it seemed more natural. But maybe it wasn’t all that natural like he hoped to be, because Sooyeon slowly turned to him.

His arms still around her shoulder and her hands still holding onto his other arm. Their faces inches apart. Their eyes staring at each other. For that moment, all was silent but both of their hearts were bursting. Both of their minds were racing, but both tried to stay calm in hopes of not being too obvious to the other.

For some reason, Sooyeon’s heart felt full. Something about the moment… huh? The minute she started delving deeper, she stopped herself. Looking down at her hands and looking back up at him, she could instantly feel herself becoming sober. What… was that?

“웁스… 죄송합니다…” (Translation: “Oops… sorry…”) She let go of his arm and shifted her eyes down. In the corner of her eyes, she could maybe see disappointment, but it may have been relief. Who knows. She could never tell what people were actually thinking, and Shownu was especially difficult since he never seemed to show as many different expressions as his other members did.

It was only when the doors finally opened that Sooyeon sobered up completely. She walked out and swiveled on her heels to face Shownu. There was an unreadable expression on his face, but she simply said, “같이 올라와줘서 고마워요. 그럼… 다음주에 만나요!” (Translation: “Thanks for coming up with me. Then… see you around next week!”)

With that, she half-pranced over to her desk and Shownu took a mental note of where she sat in the office space. As the doors closed on him, he looked down at the arm that was in her clutches. He placed his fingertips on the area that touched her directly, and he couldn’t help but smile when heat electrified him from his arm to his fingertips.

*** TBC ***

A/n: hiya i wrote this half sleepy so bear with me if it sucks (lol) also... i really don’t know what to do about the conflict... what i have planned seems kind of cliche/trivial? ugh -_- work is really ruining my creative juices (ㅠㅠ) 

[medea10]

My Review of Zombieland Saga

[revwinchester]

They/Them

Summary: Gabriel finds themself the victim of discrimination while at Pride but a man he doesn’t know stands up for them and calls out his friend’s toxic behavior.  Turns out that’s the just start of it all.

Pairing: Sabriel (cisgender Sam x nonbinary Gabriel)

Rating: teen and up

Warnings: blatant transphobia/nonbinaryphobia and discrimination, some curse words, hurt/comfort, angsty start with a happy middle and ending, explicit mentions of sex but no mentions/depictions of explicit sex (if you don’t want to read that, stop before the time jump)

Word Count: 1239

A/N: This is my entry for the June @gabriel-monthly-challenge.  I loosely used both aesthetic prompts for inspiration.  I also didn’t go straight for one of the Pride story prompts but took inspiration from the spirit of them, writing a fic set at Pride.  I was also inspired by two short text posts I saw floating around on tumblr - a couple people reblogged them - that I could just hear Gabriel saying as I read them.  I was supposed to be packing for a trip and, instead, I wrote this.  Gabriel agrees that packing is terrible.

One final note: I am not trans or nonbinary however I based a lot of Gabriel’s story on the real story of a friend of mine who is (with their permission).

They/Them - 

Gabriel put their head down and kept walking.  Growing up knowing they were different in a small town in the deep south meant that they had heard every slur in the book - and even some that weren’t in there - hurled at them.  They had a thick skin by now but this time it hurt worse.  This time, the abuse was coming from within the walls, or fences really, of Pride.  Gabriel had moved to the city almost a year ago, leaving their small minded town behind.  They had found a great group of friends and had assumed the positivity and support they had experienced would extend to the rest of the revelers they would meet during Pride but that was, apparently, not the case.

“Stop being such a snowflake,” one of the men shouted at Gabriel, “your kind is causing too much trouble for the rest of us.”

The man’s words made Gabriel regret the outfit they had chosen for the day.  But it was the last day of Pride and skirts were freaking comfortable, damnit.  Not to mention the tank top - one of their favorites, though it didn’t make it out of the closet often - black with the word “enby” printed across the chest in the colors of the pansexual flag.  They picked up their pace, wanting to pass the group of men as quickly as possible.  “Association of Gay Lawyers” the banner a few of them held read.  Well, Gabriel wouldn’t be going to any of them if they ever needed legal assistance.

The man was still shouting terrible things as Gabriel drew closer.  When a second man joined him, they were nearly in tears.  Even so, Gabriel couldn’t help but notice that this guy was the sexiest man they had ever seen in their life.  He was tall and muscular, filling out his v-neck and plaid over-shirt so well that it was practically criminal, and he had shaggy, chocolate brown hair that Gabriel just wanted to run their hands through.  Instead, though, they braced themselves for the taunts to double.

Much to their surprise, though, that wasn’t the case when the man opened his mouth.

At first, Gabriel assumed that the words were directed at them but when they chanced a glance up, the man was glaring at his friend.  

“Pride is all about loving ourselves for who we are when the world tells us we’re unlovable.  Trans and non binary people don’t threaten your fun or your existence as a gay man, Brady,” the tall guy continued before the first man could speak up.  “So you and your transphobic bullshit and bigotry can fuck off.”

Gabriel stood and stared, transfixed by what was happening.  They didn’t know this guy; why was he standing up for them?

“What are you looking at bitch boy?” the first man - Brady, apparently - shouted.  He was probably lashing out, Gabriel knew, but the words still cut deep.  They turned on their heel and stalked away, their fists balled at their side, seeking the relative safety of the Genderfluid Coalition tent.  Though, if Gabriel was being honest with themself, they weren’t sure if anywhere would actually be safe from assholes like Brady.

Gabriel was so wrapped up in their head that they nearly missed the sound of feet pounding on the pavement as someone followed them, running to catch up.

“Hey!” the handsome man called out, causing Gabriel to stop despite their better judgement.  “I’m sorry you had to listen to Brady say that crap back there.  He’s an asshole but the guys tend to let him get away with it because his dad’s a high powered attorney.  But…”

“But you don’t?” Gabriel spat, their voice hard.

The man took it in stride, though.  “Nope.  I don’t care who you know, doesn’t give you the right to treat another human being like shit.  He and I were in college and then law school together.  Somewhere in our sophomore year, the guy just changed.  I guess I stick around because someone’s gotta keep him in check.”  

He smiled down at Gabriel and, gods, his dimples…

“I’m just sorry I couldn’t do more but I really can’t handle another assault on my record.”

And now the man was blushing and Gabriel knew they were a goner.  “Another?” they asked, clearing their throat.

“Uh, yeah,” the handsome man replied, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously.  “I mean, it was a while ago, back in law school… A professor trying to prey on me and some of the other queer students.  He didn’t get very far and even the police agreed that it was justified but… another assault would probably get me disbarred.”

They stood in silence for a moment, neither of them sure how to continue their conversation, though Gabriel definitely wanted to.

“Look,” the man finally said, “I know you probably didn’t need some white knight to ride in and save you but I just… You looked like you could use a friend back there.”  He paused and held out a hand.  “I’m Sam, by the way.”

Gabriel shook Sam’s hand and introduced themself.  “Gabriel.  They/them.  And thanks, sometimes a knight in shining armor is nice.”

A second awkward silence fell between the pair and Gabriel knew they were blushing.  This time, Gabriel was the one to break the silence.  

“So… I’m always a slut for kindness and basic human decency,” they said, their tone light.  “Let’s go camping and have tent sex.”  It was a joke (mostly), the kind of thing that just fell out of Gabriel’s mouth when they were nervous, and they were surprised to see that Sam seemed to be considering their offer.

“Honestly, I think I’d like that,” Sam replied, “but I’d like to get to know you better first.  Where were you headed?  I’ll walk with you if that’s alright.”

Gabriel just nodded dumbly and pointed in the direction they had been heading.  Shit like this didn’t happen, especially not to them.  They walked off, Sam grabbing their hand as they moved together.

“Is this ok?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Gabriel replied as they realized that it really was.

-----

Three months later

-----

“Gabriel!  Come on!”  Sam shouted.

He had gotten to Gabriel’s apartment right on time, only to find them still not ready.  Sam had done all the preparation work - including packing a costume or two for him and Gabriel to play with (Gabe was going to look ridiculous and adorable in the camp counselor get up) - and all his partner had to do was pack for themselves.  But of course, Gabriel had waited until the last minute.

“Just put your stuff in a bag, babe,” Sam insisted as he entered Gabriel’s bedroom.  “I’ve got everything else covered.  I’ve been planning for and looking forward to this trip since we met.”

Gabriel looked up at him with a quizzical look on their face.

“You promised me tent sex,” Sam reminded them.  “Not to mention that our campsite is pretty secluded so I’m hoping for some hammock sex, some post s’mores sex next to the fire, and maybe even some naked kayaking if the weather holds up…” Sam was smirking at Gabriel by the time he finished speaking.

Gabriel’s pupils were expanding with lust at Sam’s words.  “If we’re going to be fucking the whole time, why do I even need clothes?” they asked, grabbing their leather jacket and throwing it on.  “Let’s just get going!”

If you would like to be added to (or removed from) one of my tag lists send an ask and let me know!

ALL THE TAGS! (forevers): @deathtonormalcy56 @supernaturalyobsessed @roxy-davenport @gallifreyansass @hexparker @thinkwritexpress-official @atc74 @thewhiterabbit42 @nobodys-baby-now @mouselovesmusic @nanika67 @smdzone @doctor-zyre @proserpinadante @lonely-potatolookingforbooks

Sabriel: @warlockwriter @digi-doubles @dgirl36 @donttouchmyfrenchtoast

GMC Tags: @archangelsanonymous @warlockwriter @archangel-with-a-shotgun @ttttrickster @archangelgabriellives

[itshansolo]

my review of the last jedi

spoilers, very much so

It’s easy to understand why the critics love this film. It’s very different from The Empire Strikes Back, it’s got some excellent acting, surprising moments and good action scenes. For people who get paid to analyze films as their own entities and do so countless times a year - and as such probably don’t remember much about The Force Awakens aside from “Han was killed as Luke showed up in the last few seconds” - that’s all it takes for a 10/10 experience.

The film ends on a high note, so you walk away from the theater in ecstasy and still absorbing what you just saw. But the euphoria doesn’t resist 10 minutes of critical thinking. For a film that praises itself for digging deep into its characters, The Last Jedi is surprisingly superficial. Presumably, one of the first questions Rian Johnson asked himself was “what is Luke Skywalker doing on that island?”. Turns out he feels guilty about what happened to Ben Solo and the Jedi order he was building. Wait, you might say, I thought the previous movie had already made that clear? That’s because it did. The Last Jedi was supposed to be Luke’s movie and we get no insight whatsoever into his character that we didn’t already know or make educated guesses about.

Except for one thing. Turns out he tried to kill his nephew when he sensed the darkness inside him. Yeah. Exactly. He didn’t give up on Darth Vader of all people, but he was ready to slaughter his teenage nephew. There is no plausible explanation for this. That was before shit hit the fan in the Skywalker household, so any psychological trouble that might excuse his odd behaviour when Rey finds him does not excuse this.

That’s not the full extent of Luke’s iffy characterization. We all remember how he went against his masters’ teachings and faced Darth Vader with nothing but compassion under his sleeve. So tell me how does it make sense for a Force Ghost Yoda to appear and lecture him on all that was wrong about the old ways of the Jedi? It doesn’t. Their respective beliefs were flipped.

In the last few months, the powers that be have repeatedly stated in interviews - as a weird badge of pride - that each director is entirely free to come up with the story of each film, with nothing but the previous instalment as a starting point. Long story short, the trilogy is being written as they go along. And it shows. Snoke was nothing but a plot device. The Knights of Ren are nowhere to be seen. There’s no explanation for how and why the Skywalker lightsaber ended up in Maz Kanata’s possession. Maz, by the way, has the most inorganic introduction I’ve ever had the displeasure to watch. I just have to presume it was in Lupita Nyong’o’s contract to be in at least two films.

If Lupita’s contract might explain Maz’s atrocious cameo, Benicio Del Toro can only be a close friend of Rian Johnson’s with a lifelong dream to be in a Star Wars movie. The character, whose name we do not learn, is completely useless and badly portrayed. The necessary skills that he has could have been easily transfered to Rose. As a side effect, the whole Canto Bight detour - also a waste of time - could have been thrown out altogether.

Speaking of Rose, she’s one of the few elements that actually work in this film. Kelly Marie Tran is excellent and the character is immediately likable. We learn more about her than we learned about Rey in two goddamn movies. Her storyline with Finn, as mentioned above, could have used a little trimming, but I have to disagree with critics who claim it’s the biggest/only weakness of the film. The sheer charisma of Kelly and John Boyega carries the storyline. 

The truth is there a lot of weakness and they are spread out. Case in point, the dynamic between Amilyn Holdo and Poe, my least favorite part by far. Rian Johnson came up with the character of Amilyn and Claudia Gray borrowed the name to write a different character in her novel Princess of Alderaan. Those who have read this book know that she’s the Luna Lovegood of Star Wars and her charming personality completely vanishes in the film. She’s virtually a different woman. Did the story group of Lucasfilm and their supposed responsibility for continuity in a galaxy far far away take a vacation while Claudia was writing the book?

It’s clear that Holdo was introduced in the movie to prop up Poe Dameron’s character development, but the trouble is that such development is not necessarily welcome or well done. I don’t know how a movie that lasts two and a half hours can feel rushed, but here it did. Poe and Holdo’s altercation is truncated, confusing, almost impossible to get invested in.

Did you notice how I failed to mention Rey until now? You may think Daisy Ridley was just being humble when she kept saying in the press tour that Rey is not necessarily the main character. She wasn’t though. Rey does not feel like the main character at all. As a matter of fact, Poe feels more like a protagonist this time around. And that’s saying something, considering his character was supposed to die early on in The Force Awakens.

I’m not gonna ramble at length about the godforsaken topic of Rey’s parentage. I’m just gonna say that, aside from being almost comical how The Force Awakens missed the mark when introducing the child of literal nobodies, The Last Jedi takes its sweet time to settle the debate once and for all, as it continues to tag people along like Lucasfilm and Disney have been doing for two years. As soon as Rey and Kylo have their first bizarre Sense8-esque Force meeting, my seatmate whispered to his friend “wait, are they siblings?” and I wanted to take a bullet to the brain right the fuck there. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE SENSE. Mere seconds after one of their Force connections, Luke has a similar scene with Leia. You know… Leia. HIS SISTER. At some point, Kylo tells Rey that he knows she’s gonna join him eventually… because he’s seen who her parents are. Geez, Louise. I wonder why the identity of her parents would compel her to get closer to Kylo. Maybe because they are HIS PARENTS TOO?? No, that would have just been too good.

And it doesn’t end there! Remember that teaser in which something sinister is calling to Rey and Luke yells “RESIST IT”?. That was awesome, wasn’t it? Who was calling to her? Snoke? Kylo? Turns out it was… a cave. A cave in which Rey has a borderline psychodelic experience that involves mirrors. She asks to be shown the face of her parents and the music intensifies until… we see Rey staring at her own reflection. That’s brilliant, Rian. Keep building up the mystery only to reveal later on that her parents were alcoholic junkers that may or may not remain nameless for eternity (and Rey shall remain just “Rey” forever).

I’m still trying to figure out the purpose of that cave scene. This goes back to how disappointingly shallow the movie was. We were supposed to learn some pretty interesting lore about the Force and what did we actually get? We learned that the Force doesn’t belong to the Jedi (duh)… and that’s it. Are you serious?

Let me get into what I did like about the film. Like I said, John Boyega and Kelly Marie Tran are a tour de force of charisma. They’re the most endearing pair and just plain fun to watch. Although Finn has been criminally demoted from his leading man status, his confrontation with Phasma (who’s Phasma again?) brought nice closure to his arc as a former stormtrooper.

I know many of my mutuals and followers cannot stand Adam Driver. I have side-eyed some of the things he said recently myself. But the guy is phenomenal in this movie. I caught myself looking forward to his appearences, because he is simply magnetic. I have no idea what’s gonna happen to Kylo, but I’m invested either way. The one thing The Last Jedi taught me is that speculation is pointless, because fans put way more thought into the story than the powers that be. That’s depressing, but it’s the reality of the situation.

I think my favorite scene in the whole movie is Kylo and Rey in Snoke’s throne room. The tension was palpable. The way Kylo ended Snoke had everyone in the room on the edge of their seats and the battle against the Praetorian Guards right afterwards was simply breathtaking.

Carrie Fisher is so Leia in her last appearence. I’m pretty happy with her send off, all things considered. She felt way more at ease in the role when compared to The Force Awakens and we gotta give Johnson some credit here, even if I want to strangle him most of the time. The infamous Superman scene is pretty awkward, but it was about time she showed some badass Force powers. The old hologram from A New Hope being what motivates Luke to finally help Rey was a stroke of genius. Such a simple plot development, but literally no one saw it coming. There wasn’t a single dry eye in the audience.

LUKE AND LEIA REUNITE! Well, sort of. But it was enough for me. Which brings me to Luke projecting himself across the galaxy. It sounds cartoonish on paper, but boy did it work! If you didn’t get goosebumps when he became one with the Force to the sound of Binary Sunset, something is wrong with you. The shoulder wipe was LEGENDARY. Some of the humor didn’t work in this film, but most certainly did, especially Chewie and the porgs (which are adorable and thankfully not overused) and Luke hitting Rey in the hand with a stick when he asks her to reach out.

As a standalone film, I give The Last Jedi an 8 out of 10. But as a follow-up to a seven-part saga, it’s a 6/10 with a pinch of generosity.

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Transparent /S04\/E01\ Standing Order Airdate: September 22, 2017 @amazonvideo Ratings: Privatized @amazon Score: 8.5/10 *************POSSIBLY LIGHT SPOILERS************* ‘They’ say eventually good things happen to ‘good people’... But if you throw mathematics in the game, then statistically, and eventually, something good will happen to everyone (bad, good, and whatever lies somewhere in the middle). Let’s not also forget there’s environmental factors involved, so a ‘good thing’ for me may be much different than what it would be to a Monk in Tibet, an aging ‘Club Kid’ in New York, or Maura’s (Jeffrey Tambor) vision quest and whatever a man like Josh Pfefferman’s (Jay Duplass) would consider a ‘good thing’. It’s all relative. Eventually, if enough ‘good things’ don’t come our way, we go looking for those things... To San Francisco, to Miami, to New York City, to Los Angeles, London, Lisbon, Rio, Dublin, Kyoto or Tel Aviv... Wherever it is that we have a connection, those of us that have the luxury of knowing our history on a deep level, anyway. The rest of us just close our eyes and pick a spot on the map, and that’s good enough. See, again, it’s relative. Many of us also have that whole ‘Black Sheep’ vibe. Maybe we ended up on the wrong side of the family tree, we’re perpetually misunderstood. Take Ali (Gabby Hoffman) for example. She’s the baby of the Pfefferman Family. She has so much handed to her on a kind of platter that many of us can’t even comprehend. However, Maura processes events in life differently... Reactions, emotions... She simply doesn’t respond like the rest of her family. She’s surrounded by her loud, warm but sometimes extremely trying Jewish family and she just blanks. She goes somewhere else. Suddenly she remembers a traumatic event that involved a hug with a creepy Uncle while she was developing and now she’s aware that these are the same voices that pushed her into a uncomfortable situation, albeit unknowingly. I’m not sure that makes a difference. It’s the endgame, and nothing else matters once you’ve crossed the finish line. Processing past events isn’t like getting up and brushing the dirt of the scrape on your knee. Everyone wants it to be so simple, but it’s so easy to just get lost in the void of confusion. These thoughts are merely surface thoughts, at least for now. They’ll be explored later as we slowly lace in all the subplots in what is always one of the years top Character Study Pieces. Amazon, and particularly Jill Soloway, have a way of telling us a story about people that not many viewers most likely know and connecting them with us in a way that’s objectively profound. All our stories as human beings might be different, but there’s a common thread, somewhere... It just might not be the same color, the same brand. S3 was a somber one, but it ended on a very ‘forward’ note for The Pfefferman’s. Maura has taken on a vision quest and decided to go back to connect with Tel Alviv, which probably should be worth the price of admission alone. Ali, is as usual, very much in Ali World. She’s still discerning what these traumatic and sometimes ‘epiphany-like’ events in her past mean to her, what they are. That’s definitely something I can identify with. I can only speak for those that lived hard and made it to their 30’s, but I’m just now allowing myself to let go of anger and dissect things for what they are... Attempt to see things as how they really exist in this world. Even with Maura going to Tel Aviv, who makes an eye-catching Trans-Woman in the most awkward of ways, STILL is unable to match the danger and turbulent road I see ahead for Josh and his mother, Shelly Pfefferman (Judith Light). The mother/son pair bunkie up and appear to do nothing but create tension until it bursts. Men... Love your mother, cherish them in your own way... But don’t live with them, especially if she’s a very loud, opinionated, and nosy Jewish woman. I’m joking of course, but only slightly. As they say, there’s a little truth to every joke, that’s why it’s funny and just so sick of people forgetting to laugh. Just the chaos the family stirs up when they are all in the room together talking over each other... OMG! It’s like going to the mall with your, mother... Surely, men, you know what I’m talking about. You desperately want to please her, but you just want to fast forward the clock with newly discovered mind powers until it all ends. Strangely enough, it’s usually that tension that boils over that brings everyone to a whole new understanding. So I guess, what I’m really saying is... No matter what happens in life, you’ll come to a point where everyone is suddenly making transitions to different places at the same time... And as awful as it can be, you gotta get through it so that you can grow and strengthen your bond. Somewhere deep down, I know that Pffererman’s will learn something about each other, relationships, and themselves. S3 started with a bang of an episode. S4 is more of a smooth check-in... This was their eventuality at the end of last season. Now, The Pfefferman Family faces the hard part. Those journeys they all must take alone, together, with someone they’d least expect... Those are all what comes next. You might not be anything like The Pfeffermans or even know anyone remotely like the The Pfefferman’s, but The Human Condition is still what separates us all and then brings us back together again... Like the psychedelic response sand has on the top of a drum... infinite patterns... infinite possibilities... Always joined together, even when you are apart. The 4th Season of ‘Transparent’ begins... You did bring some tissues right? **************Written by Kevin Cage*************** TVTime/Letterboxd/FB/IG/Path/Pin/Tumblr/Twitter: @SpotlightSaga 📺 TVTime📺 http://www.tvtime.com ✅Spotlight Saga FB Page! Give us a like!✅ http://www.facebook.com/spotlightsaga 🚧Spotlight Saga's Main Page is Under Works🚧 http://www.spotlightsaga.com 🔥The Culture Pit FB Group🔥 http://www.facebook.com/groups/ArtsEntertainment Kevin Cage // Justin O'Malley // Cody Cole // Jerry Wilson // Kat Holiday // Carolyn Holt // Yackarette Borge // Carina Enered //

[chimepunk]

What novels or book series would you recommend?

oh fuckin boy dude so many. 90% of what i read is either gay or scifi/fantasy or both, and some are technically for a younger audience but still great, so thats what most of this is which hopefully you’re cool with here goes

this got super long so i’m putting it under a cut. bolded titles are the ones that i’m super recommending, though i love them all

novels

the coldest girl in coldtown by holly black - vampires! a trans character! a bi character! one of the most novel approaches to vampires in fiction that i’ve seen! 10/10 would recommend

the darkest part of the forest by holly black - again, holly black is one of my favorite authors. this one’s got faeries (the proper vaguely unsettling kind that i’m all about) magical music, girls embracing their sexuality, girls being knights, interesting sibling dynamics, and a super cute m/m pairing

les miserables by victor hugo - ok yeah, it’s like 1400 pages long and historical fiction, but i love les mis a lot ok. it’s gotta be on this list just because it owns my ass. it’s like a old drunk french man trying to tell you about the june rebellion but he keeps getting distracted by things like people’s personal lives, the intricacies of the parisian underworld, and how much he wants to fuck the sewers. it’s wonderful

the night circus by erin morgenstern - magical circus that mysteriously appears for days at a time and then vanishes? a competition between young magicians drawn out for years? a wide variety of fascinating side characters? (i will say that the synopsis available for the book is somewhat misleading, as it’s actually less about our two protags and more about the circus itself. but that’s what makes it so enchanting)

the song of achilles by madeleine miller - retelling of patroclus and achilles story to be explicitly romantic. will make you feel like you’re floating on clouds and then rapidly crush your soul. sort of a happy ending? but it’s still a tragedy. their ending is the same as it was in the illiad so if you’re not prepared for that then maybe don’t read

good omens by neil gaiman and terry pratchett - a demon who’s not very good at being a demon and an angel who just wants to collect his books in peace thank you very much try to sabotage the end of times. absolutely hilarious

fairy and folktales of the irish peasantry by w.b. yeats - the best collection of irish faerie stories by one of my favorite poets. if you like creepy and tricky faeries i would def recommend checking these out

rootabaga stories by carl sandburg - another collection of folktales, this time inspired by the american midwest. kinda weird, kinda zany, very neat

the poison eaters by holly black - a short story collection of faery stories that are sometimes creepy, sometimes touching, sometimes gay. my personal favorite is about a library science student who finds a book collection where the characters come out at night and interact, but they’re all really great

series:

alex rider adventures by anthony horowitz - teenager gets recruited by MI6 as a spy, has incredibly high success rate, gets pretty fucked up along the way but damn those one liners tho, maybe have some self preservation alex? just a thought

all for the game by nora sakavic - about a fake sport called exy that’s kind of like indoor lacrosse but more violent. contains: crime families, found families, an aspec protag, girls kicking ass, unhealthy levels of sass, wonderful slowburn m/m that you can’t even see coming for a long while, and a happy ending for everyone!! i came for the gays and ended up reading all three books in two days. also you can get the whole series for less than five bucks on kindle! (note: tw for rape, physical abuse, torture, ptsd, child abuse, drug use, alcoholism, some use of slurs, mentions of past self harm, mental illness)

artemis fowl by eoin colfer - more faeries, but this time they live underground and are way more technologically advanced than humans. the first book focuses on our anti-hero trying to catch one and steal their gold, and they quickly become allies and solve faerie related cases together!! one of my favorite series growing up, and i cried in the middle of the hallway at school when i finished the last book

camp half-blood series by rick riordan - does rick riordan write a lot of mythology books? yes. do i love them all? yes. neurodivergent kids! kids from a huge range of racial and ethnic backgrounds! queer kids! collect them all! ft. greco-roman mythology and a lot of stupid jokes

emelan series by tamora pierce - ok this is easily one of my favorite series of all time. non-western high fantasy setting (picture greece/turkey, china, tibet, mongolia, scandinavia, etc type settings), following four young mages who have unique kinds of magic as they train and grow their skills and become powerful in their own right. only one of the kids is definitely white (jury’s still out on sandry), one is a lesbian, one is ace, one is pan, all four are raised by a loving f/f couple, body diversity, one of the best found families i’ve ever read, feminism, discussion of racism, classism, cultural identity, war, and so much more. it’s so so good and so under-appreciated please read all of the emelan books 

the dark is rising sequence by susan cooper - full disclosure i have not finished this series yet but i’ve re-read the first book a million times. it’s a neat take on arthurian mythology, with dark forces trying to take over and kids getting shit done

diviners by libba bray - psychic teenagers in 1920s new york! i’m a slut for prohibition, but these are also super fun and have likable and real characters, and doesn’t only focus on wealthy white people having parties which is nice. the occult! government conspiracies! historical references! genuinely scary situations! it’s rad!

the enchanted forest chronicles by patricia c. wrede - i adore this series so so much. it’s about a princess who’s father keeps telling her that she can’t have hobbies like fencing or cooking or conjugating latin verbs because they’re unladylike and insists that she marry this doofus prince that she couldn’t care less about. so she runs away and volunteers to work for a dragon and proceeds to send away all the princes that try to rescue her. it’s genuinely funny, has a really neat magic system in the later books, great female friendships, cats, dragons who have no time for your gender roles, and wizards who are the most ridiculous group of antagonists you will ever see

the infernal devices by cassandra clare - i really really do not like the author of this series but it also broke me so it must go on the list. if you’re familiar with the mortal instruments or shadowhunters on freeform, it’s set in that universe in the 1870s in london and it’s very steampunk and very angsty and it made me cry a lot

the kane chronicles by rick riordan - see: camp half-blood series but egyptian

fablehaven by brandon mull - oooooh fuck me up i love this series. this is another one meant for slightly younger readers but all of brandon mull’s series are so wildly imaginative and i’m a slut for world building so. the premise is basically that there are secret preserves all over the world that house magical creatures, and five of these preserves have vaults with artifacts that when brought together make a key to this massive demon prison. an evil society called the society of the evening star is trying to get the artifacts to open the prison, and a different group who is allied with the preserves called the knights of the dawn is trying to get to them first to prevent this from happening. there are dragons, light and dark powers, crazy convoluted vaults to get through, and some really cool creatures and characters

beyonders by brandon mull - this guy again! this one’s about a parallel world called lyrian that people on earth can only get to through small liminal windows, and usually can’t get back through. the story follows two kids, jason and rachel, who get stuck in lyrian and end up becoming major members of the resistance against the evil emperor maldor. just like fablehaven, the world building is insane and you’ll fall in love with all the characters. this is yet another series that made me cry in the middle of class when i finished it

the kingkiller chronicle by patrick rothfuss - this is series is long as all fuck and the last book isn’t out yet but it’s my #1 favorite series of all time. i found out about it bc a cashier at a local grocery store held up the line to write it down for me and i never went back. parts of it are achingly, hauntingly beautiful, other parts are hilarious enough to leave you in stitches, others make you want to pull your hair out. there’s sass, recklessness, beautiful and deadly girls, an overwhelming love and emphasis on the importance of music and storytelling, magic that’s more like science, ethnic adversity, student loans, a thing that might be a cow or might be a dragon depending on who you ask, and more quotable lines than you could dream of. the audiobook by nick podehl is also fabulous, and lin manuel miranda is producing and adapting it for the screen and maybe stage at some point in the future!

a modern faerie tale by holly black - guys. i love holly black. almost everything she’s ever written is on this list. this one is fairly self explanatory by the title, but it’s gritty and dark and has those lovely creepy faeries that she’s so great at writing. also a surprising m/m couple in the last book, both of whom are characters in the other two installments. (tw for drug use/addiction, brief sexual assault, and probably other things that i can’t remember right now)

the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater - also in my top 3 favorite series of all time, i cannot begin to describe this series. i first read it while up in the nc mountains which improved the experience to a surprising degree, but it’s stuck with me for the last several years. basically 5 teenagers go in search of a dead welsh king, but along the way there is magic, psychics, ghosts, a sentient forest, dreams becoming reality, curses, teenage shenanigans, classic cars, swearing, church, kisses and not kisses, illict hand holding, a baby crow, bisexuality, a death list, hitmen, and nicknames and it will consume your heart before you know what’s happening to you (tw child abuse, implied sexual assault, substance abuse, dissociation, mentions of past suicide attempts, body horror, gore, and disturbing scenes esp. in the last book)

six of crows by leigh bardugo - a team of criminals band together to break into an impossible fortress, fall in love, con an entire city, and get rich. set in the same universe as the grisha trilogy (which is also good but not as good as soc), this is basically a heist followed by a con, but pulled off by ruthless teenagers and with the help of magic

curseworker trilogy by holly black - crime families, magic that can only done through touch so everyone wears gloves, moral ambiguity, and a twisted romance. one of holly black’s best and most underrated series

baccano! by ryohgo narita - this is a japanese light novel series which has been adapted into an anime, but is much more extensive in print. the plot is extremely convoluted, but an absolute ride spanning several centuries, although the bulk of it is in the 1930s in nyc and chicago. there’s an elixir of immortality, crime families, trains, a solipsistic assassin and his mute assassin gf, serial killers, a demon with a catch phrase, murder, explosions, adorable couples, gambling, a gang leader named jacuzzi who is always terrified, killer corporations, and much much more

no.6 by asuka asano - another japanse series, this time focusing on two boys, one who grew up in a utopian city, the other who grew up outside the walls after the city destroyed his life. they meet when they’re 12 years old, and several years later, they’re reunited when the outsider rescues the city boy from arrest. they, along with a pimp and a nonbinary dog hotel owner, try to expose and overthrow the government. also ft. drag performances, mice who like shakespeare, killer bees, and boys falling in love.

the merlin saga by t.a. barron - my favorite take on arthurian mythology, chronicling merlin as he comes into his power. there’s a vividly magical island, giants, amulets, talking trees, stones that will try to swallow you, a swamp witch, celtic deities, huge wicker hats, poetry, new kinds of fruit, people that are also deer, and human’s long lost wings.