#(she's not really evil but she counts)
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kisses evil women tenderly
#pinkie speakie#bisexual#lesbian#magenta#magenta rhps#lady dimitrescu#donna beneviento#mother miranda#mrs lovett#bellatrix lestrange#queen deltarune#(she's not really evil but she counts)#red queen#white diamond#mommy mearest#nadja of antipaxos#etc etc tag your beloved evil women#other mother#the beldam
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Me knowing damn well why people demonize vi for one mistake while excusing everything jinx has done
#arcane#vi arcane#like#its really just disguised sexism and lesbophobia at this point right#and especially time/bomb shippers like. people are delusional if they think ekko would hate vi but excuse jinx lmao?#i guess were all ignoring the scene where he almost killed her#and yeah vi spent her entire life fighting for her family and protecting powder#but yeah sure fuck it shes evil because she got emotional when her sister murdered their entire family in front of her#fuck it who cares#but jinx murdering children regularly is fine ig no problem#and giving up on vi after everything#bro went to jail for 6 years after being drugged but i guess that counts as willfull abandonment#cant have shit in the undercity
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When Daniela graduated from high school and was about to enroll in university:
Bela: What do you want to major in?
Daniela: What do they have?
Bela: This is not a restaurant, Dani 😭😭😭
#house dimitrescu#cassandra dimitrescu#resident evil village#daniela dimitrescu#resident evil 8#bela dimitrescu#re8#alcina dimitrescu#headcanon#this sums up daniela's entire life philosophy#bela was trying#at least cassandra knew what she wanted academically like she had a full plan fleshed out and didn't need much guidance because girl KNEW#what she wanted#dani tho? she's just shrugging her way through things and picking whatever#because why bother working hard when you don't really need to#she didn't want to go to university actually but bela put her foot down#no sister of hers is going to be out and about without a degree#she will not give anyone any chance of badmouthing her sisters#this is something only she can do#and she will make sure it stays that way#and dani hates that cass is directly older than her because cass is an OVERACHIEVER and does insane things#bela is more sane and dani decided to focus on her instead of cass because cass and her choices are not for the weak#not that dani is weak it's just that she's lazy and a tad too spoiled to ever want to work for anything#and studying sure counts as her being tortured unnecessarily
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Masked characters who never reveal their face/you rarely see their face my forever beloved i know u have a face under there but that mask is your face and I'm giving it a kiss even if you don't feel it
#many masked characters have my heart just cause it's literally one of the BEST character design choices ever#like hunk resident evil wouldn't be as fucking COOL if we saw his face right? that mask is part of his identity and his character#master chief another example if we dont count the show WHICH WE WONT#master chief probably being the prime example of a masked character#doom guy is one of my fav masked characters cause you CAN see his face sometimes but its always a RARE moment to see it#we dont need to see his face 24/7 cause he already gives off so much character through his body language#you can FEEL his anger and hatred for the thing's he kill's without EVER seeing his facial expression's#of course the original doom's also has a head icon showing you his emotions but the newer doom's REALLY leaned on the masked side of him#samus another great example#metroid dread is literally my favorite metroid game for what it does with her and the animation's they do for her#you can just FEEL and see what she's thinking/feeling/commiting too in every interaction#shes so quiet and stoic and when we do see her face its used to GREAT effect#samus is my fav masked character probably everytime i think back on her its always like omg...shes so cool...
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Average a practical Guide to evil character has three titles actually Just a statistical Error. Titles Catherine who lives in a Cave and has had three Names, two callowan/Praesi noble titles, two fae Mantels, three drow titles and one epithet is an outlier and should Not have been counted
#idk man#if you really want to you can count both versions of squire separately in which case she has four Names#which brings her number of titles up from eleven to an even dozen#if you were willing to force it you could say that many callowans also called her whatever the noble title attatched to marchford was#as opposed to lady of marchford#i wanna say marchioness? really not sure though#a practical guide to evil#apgte#catherine foundling
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Silly Game Time: Have you ever seen or heard a ghost (or what some might've considered to be a ghost)? If so, when and where?
Ohohohohohohoh I’ve been looking for an excuse to share some of this shit.
Short answer, yes, a while ago, twice at my house, and once on an island.
long answer is under the cut because I’ve been looking for an excuse to ramble about this stuff and it got a bit out of hand, aka horrifically long. So just be warned I guess.
So for context my mom’s side of the family has a history of some mildly supernatural stuff happening, and being able to sense stuff and all that jazz. Not in like the Hollywood type of way, just occasional feelings of a presence, or seeing something weird out of the corner of their eye, or encountering something strange for a bit, stuff like that. Overall pretty mild. And lucky me, I got it too. Maybe not ghosts or demons in the traditional sense most of the time, but definitely something else on occasion. Most of them are harmless, or just curious, but some are more malicious and all of that stuff. You can usually tell the difference based off vibes. Now here’s the thing, if you can more easily sense them, they can more easily sense you, and tend to get curious and interact a bit more because of it. I’ve encountered a couple of weird situations, none of which I can logically explain away easily (maybe the last one was my brain playing tricks on me, but considering it was on an island where a murder occurred on the next island over and was known to have many ghosts on it and literal graves I don’t think so), and I’ll share the ones I can think of right now here.
So this first one I don’t actually remember, because I was a newborn at the time. But my mom has told me about it a bunch. She said that when I was a baby and had just been brought home, I’d sometimes start randomly crying in my room. Now all kids do this, but she said I sounded almost scared. I’d always stop a while later, and when they checked on me I was fine. But she said that she felt a weird presence in my room sometimes. Now one time my mom apparently was putting me down for a nap, and I was all fine and dandy, the room all warm, and I went to sleep, and she left. A minute later I started crying really badly, so she rushed in, and apparently caught a flicker of someone looking at me by my crib, and the room was no joke several degrees colder, like actually cold in there. She immediately grabbed me and left the room, before telling whatever it was to leave, because it was scaring me. Sure enough, after that it left, and didn’t come back. It had just been curious.
The next thing I remember encountering was when I was like 10 or 11, it’s hard to remember, and wasn’t really a ghost I don’t think, but it was definitely something else, and it was definitely not nice. It possessed a stuffed monkey toy, one that came with a car in the trunk for some reason, with that cartoony smile and black eyes. It was cute for a while, until one day, it just. Wasn’t. Its face didn’t change, but somehow it felt more malicious, and like there was something behind it that meant us harm. It was in my younger brother’s and I’s room (we shared the room at the time), and there were several occasions when it moved on its own. Every single night it moved a little closer to my brother’s bed, inching across the room every time, though neither of us had touched it out of fear. Finally one day it got too close, and I was scared enough to go throw it out in the kitchen trash (downstairs, and across the hall/house from the at the time family room, which is important later), thinking that it would be gone in the morning. But instead, that morning we found it on the desk in the family room, laying across one of his other toys, as if nothing had happened. (I later asked both my parents and neither one had removed or touched it.) So my brother and I were scared, and I went and put it laying down in the kitchen on the stove, which was completely empty by the way, and went to talk with my brother. When I went back in, it was sitting straight up, propped up against the cookbook on the stove, just… staring. That freaked me out really bad, so I did the only thing my kid brain could think of (based off the limited media I had consumed at that age and what I had) and did an exorcism of sorts. I figured that crosses repelled demons or whatever, right? So I grabbed some lavender cough rub (which ended up working really well), drew a cross on it, and pinned it in a bike helmet so it couldn’t move and hung it in the breezeway. Repeated the cross thing a few more times, until it no longer felt actively malicious, and threw that thing away. It never returned.
Another one was a more complicated one, but I remember it really well. I think it was when I was 12 or 13, again, hard to remember. It was on an island, which was known for among other things, apparently having MANY ghosts, for many reasons. But I was playing a game of manhunt (basically a game of hide and seek mixed with tag for those who don’t know) at night on the island with some other kids in the group I was in, and it was all dark. I had started to feel a bit nervous and also didn’t know how long the game would last, so I started heading back to the hotel area/lawn area with lights and people, the main meeting place where everyone generally is, and people went after getting caught or opting out of the game. I began walking down this path, and kept seeing little blobs of shadow moving out of the corner of my eye, so I kept going to get back to the hotel area, not running or trying to catch their attention (seriously if you don’t need to draw supernatural attention then you probably shouldn’t, it rarely ends well), until I stopped for a moment because I saw a HUGE blob of shadow leap over the path, behind a fence into a garden or something, and disappear. I began walking to a more defined path after that, and soon began walking along the gravel path. After maybe a minute or less of walking, I heard footsteps behind me on the gravel path (a very distinct sound) and soon picked them out from my own. After a minute I stopped and turned around to see who it was, but nobody was there. But I still heard the footsteps on the path, getting closer. That’s when I bolted and absolutely LEGGED it back to the lawn area, to the nearest largish group of people with lights, and sticking with them for a while, until some of my friends showed up, having been caught, and we sat on the hotel area steps for a while under the lights.
So yeah, I definitely have. That’s not all of them, but they are the most memorable ones
#Chaos Answers#and that’s not even counting the window knocker#(For context when I was younger I was a bit scared of the dark. At night one time I heard a knocking at my window.#My second floor of the house bedroom window. I was scared for a while. Eventually I turned over and told it I wasn’t scared#and to leave me alone. It left after that. I think it fed off fear and attention.)#I’ve also had some other weird experiences that weren’t really ghost things more like glitch in the matrix things but yeah#A lot of weird shit tends to happen to me#Some of my friends too#And one time I can be ABSOLUTELY SURE it wasn’t a hallucination because we both heard it and got it recorded#(An ice cream truck song at random times. It got closer and farther at random. It didn’t actually exist. She looked for it once. Nothing)#So yeah I guess I’m a ghost magnet some friends are too (to varying degrees) and it’s weird and annoying to deal with#Also please don’t mock me please#(None of this is religious btw. I couldn’t give less of a shit about religions outside of mythology. It’s just stuff that happens.)#(The lavender thing probably worked because of the power of belief and also lavender repelling evil stuff and it being medicine technically#Also before anyone accuses of any mental health issues or conditions trust me I got tested. Only have ADHD. Nothing else.
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sorry okay im rewatching whole cake w a friend and got obsessed with the vinsmokes this time around okay. sorry. however i am a liker of themes and motifs and doomed characters. sorrey.
#i just looovvee the ways the different families this arc are portrayed. big moms as an empire to be expanded.#beges as a loyal bond and structured organization#and ofcourse the vinsmokes as an army bound only by blood and not by love. and a commodity to be used/force to be strengthened#like sure they're all related but like. they do not act like a family even in the slightest. they don't even seem to really like each other#LOL just even w the charlottes you get the feeling they care about each other to an extent (ie katakuri and brulee or chiffon and lola)#but we rarely see any of the vinsmokes hold a conversation with each other let alone act like siblings.#(unless you count them like. abusing sanji as sibling bonding)#which i why i OBSESSSS over when reiju gets hurt you see one of them call out in concern.#n the (admittedly anime only) scene of yonji like helping a little. bear guy get a fruit off a tree. that shit cute as hell.#you get these like. moments of humanity with them that seep through the cracks of the carefully-constructed image of the Evil Germa Army yk#the way all the siblings turned out and the ways they compliment and contrast each other makes me think ab what could have been you know.#iirc reiju wound up how she is because her mother encourgaged her emptions and instilled a sense of humanity in her. proving they are all#capable of having that sense of morality the others just...didnt get it 1) bc sora died when they were so young and#2) bc judge had a VICE GRIP on them.#so they were doomed from the start.#their father wanted a perfect unfeeling obedient army of soldiers and he was going to get it by any means necessary#even if said soldiers are supposed to be his children#i do think the vinsmokes are deeply unforgivable but i also recognize tht like...they were victims of circumstance.#smthn smthn nature vs nurture#in another life i think they would have kicked ass together#idk im fuuucked upp off the green tea rn yk how it goes.....#.txt#idk how to be coherent abt them they just make me feel like pacing around my room with my head in my hands#its been said better by ppl with better grasps on character analysis than me but. abuse victims who suck. and are also assholes.#you mean everything to meeee
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Zuko. Father of one. Thrice-divorced(twice to the same person).
#i cant handle zukka getting divorced#but i understand the divorced energy zuko gives#also sokka really does not care about the institution of marriage#the maiko divorce was zuko begging on his knees for her while she looks down at him#zuko in all 3 divorces: GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE BABE I swear i will not succumb to the evil in my family#mai: okay but you said that a 167 times-azula counted- amd Roku’s still haunting your ass about it#sokka: the vibes are just not vibing anymore bro
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I have an evil women problem. Please help
#skulkby#outsiders bek.#send help i really like outsiders bek#jane prentiss#pirates ivy#scarlet Pearl? does she count as evil?#Hera from area unknown smp.#that one white looking lady from pirates smp#life series zombiecleo#i have problems
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As a follow-up on Ari's never-ending musical tour, it appears Steam just decided to stop counting my progress at 17/100, and refuses to update it past that, because the morning after the romance scene, I decided to go ahead and try to hit up the Underdark (and the Blighted Village) that I had forgotten to serenade while in Act 1, and got so many gold pieces from people who she had not played for previously.
Unlike those plebs in Moonrise Towers, mushroom people are really into the lute.
As is this doomed wannabe kidnapper from the Society of Brilliance:
(don't worry why Astarion was hiding. I was trying to save her and her asshole friends' future asses by stealing back the owlbear egg I'd swindled her into taking, but even when Astarion succeeded and started to sneak away she was like "BITCH GIMME THAT BACK" so have fun dying jerk! But... at least she tips better than the Harpers)
Then headed back to the Blighted Village, which I somehow had missed completely while dragging my feet in Act 1, and performed for all the goblins. They enjoyed our traveling show, and had some, erm. Interesting suggestions.
I, uh, am sure it makes an interesting xylaphone-like sound. But I think I'll pass.
Confirmed: Ari's lute playing is more entertaining than watching ogre porn
Thanks I guess? Also we might be forever banned from the Emerald Grove for reasons, but don't worry about that. It's not important.
#we can't go back to the emerald grove#apparently ari picking up a book NOT OUTLINED IN RED#made the two jerk druids really mad#it was not owned by anyone i swear!!#and they just started following her around#shouting THIEF THIEF#even after she put it back#if i ever do an evil run#(which is not likely but still)#the FIRST DRUID TO GO is that isolationist jerk#also ari got hit in the head this time with a piece of gold traveling at mach 5 (but her ac is high enough it was fine no hp lost)#the tadfools back at it again (in true form)#we also wound up doing the prison break (which is an entire post of its own)#(because that went hilariously and badly wrong)#apparently steam stopping the counting at some random number early on is happening to a lot of people#and SUPPOSEDLY they just suddenly get it whenever you actually get to 100 in-game#apparently act 3 it's pretty easy to hit the number so there's that#ari's musical adventures#grey's bg3 tag#bg3 posting#bg3 spoilers#ari's og campaign
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I’m gonna draw Critter’s brother when I have the chance. I like to think he didn’t actually die and dons a rat mask cause his call sign was Ratón 🐭
#he’s like SUPER evil and likes killing people#i love them him in my head#what scars should he have#i think he should have a huge one over his face#also he DOES love his sister but he’s also an asshole and forces her to go along with his shit#she’s had to lie and steal and kill with him#and also his best friend is Roach#don’t ask me anything about the characters btw I do NOT know them#🤡 I’m winging this obsession#ugh he definitely should have tattoos#maybe those cross lines where you count#he has a kill count and adds more#idk I have to think about it#melifails#i need to draw him 👹 I need hunky evil man#he totally is brutal on his kills too it all started when he killed his mother#so their parents died yeah? and then they joined like a gang? well Critter actually killed her father first#it was self defense but when her mother saw what she’d done she attacked her daughter and then was shot in the head by her son#that became their secret and they got away with it#but it also made her brother realize he likes murder 🤡 so he had no problem finding a way to do it#and when they got picked up by the military?? oh he was the bestest boy on good behavior#critter didn’t want to be a soldier but her brother signed them up#he went on to be a good one and she just kinda lived on the base working more as an employee#until he went off and ‘died’ then she decided to step up and become one#she talks highly about her brother despite his issues#she loves him a lot 🥺 and she was devastated when he died#gosh said he wasn’t always good to her he hit her on the head a lot because she needed to stop being so afraid and emotional#and he could be really harsh and insulting playing it off as jokes#she’s also more quiet about their past than he is#Im about to hit 30 tags so um he also thinks he’s the hottest bitch around and uses other for his advantage
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boss went to the office sick last week, on a call she joked about how "she's gonna give it to all of us haha" now i am sick, most likely from her and joke's on her if I don't feel well tomorrow morning then I'll not work as is my legal right and she will have to deal with me not being there
#i like#KNEW it#when she was joking about this#I KNEW i was gonna catch something#now i feel a truck ran me over basically#i only have a low fever right now and hhnnggg i would feel bad calling in sick with 'only' a low fever but#i don't FEEL good and if I feel like that tomorrow then like i am not gonna be any use to anyone#and i would much prefer not getting anyone else sick unlike SOME PEOPLE#it is kinda funny tho because I have been worrying about maybe burn out danger#and tomorrow is my scheduled psychiatrist appointment anyways#and i was gonna maybe ask her to write me a sick note because of mental health reasons#(or at least ask if she thought it was justified)#if now i have early-ish stage burn out AND a cold /flu / probably Covid / whatever then at least calling in sick is twice as justified#or maybe - two half justifieds make one full justified?#I just hope if i still feel bad tomorrow morning i can have the psychiatrist appointment via phone or zoom or something#bc i do not want to have to travel to her it is a 3h round trip but that is the price i have to pay#to be seen by a doc who is not a psychopath#so many psychiatrists are just evil and she is the first of WAYYY too many (six not counting a few i only ever had one first apt with)#yeah anyways the only issue is there are a bunch of events this weekend i was really looking forward to#and i will legit cry if i have to miss them BECAUSE MY FUCKING BOSS WOULDN'T AT LEAST WORK ONLY FROM HOME if she didn't want to#take sick leave#like we have that option we can do almost everything without having to go to the office#i hate it here i wrote in my calender i would quit my job this thursday but i don't want to do that while i'm on sick leave yknow#well i'll figure it out ig
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Pluton lore: it can be used to make islands disappear. But why would crocodile want that
Zoro no learning that a swordsman is worth nothing if he can only attack and can't protect... yeah yeah yeah
Water luffy is so silly but makes so much sense like this is how we got to gear 5... also robin laughing.... this is where she thought she might join... like at least she will laugh with them. Also crocodile gets mad right after so it works to rile him up too!! Magnificent plan luffy
#omg robin teaseeeeee#sanji telling vivi she will never again fight alone.... omg...#robin laughing at what luffy says... they are already having autism communication... magical#he said you are stupid bc nobody has beaten your ass yet and robin is like yeah.... and also you called me by my name betrayal is imminent#luffy fucking chomps crocodile AJSJAHSKAJAKA if forgot!!!!#porbable news of luffy being defeated and zoro is already training.... yeah...#vivis faith in luffy.... like she doesnt even believe it but its okay.... its the thought that counts#also possible marimo and weird brow introduction here... its like witnessing the first stone being put in the pantheon#the crab is named scissors.... nami named him after her favourite activi- [GUNSHOTS]#also really inch resting... random people that save luffy from death because he is a d: robin. law.#khoza crossing vivi and not hearing her is so heartbreaking akdhakbssk.. the drama#usopp denying luffy is dead saying he is gonna be pirate king and getting the motivation to fight... yesh#exactly.... chopper asking for a doctor... 🚬 comedy#also did sanji evade a swan feet shot bc bon clay said that one is female?? am i getting this right???#sanji making friends with bon clay..... yeah...#zoro fighting mr 1 believing he will be able to cut metal at the end of it.... crazy#OMG CAMIE!!!!! SO SOON???#zoro saying he will not wait for death yeah yeah....#i didnt comment on namis fight bc i was so into it akdjsksj... what can i say she fought for vivi... and also the fight was LONG#not a bad thing but the humor in it... poor girl.... usopp got your ass#imperialism in my one piece?? how a foreign evil infiltrates the state and incites a civil war by infiltrating both sides to ensure mutual#destruction and amidst the chaos extract the state's resources??? its more likely than you think#luffy saving vivi is so :“) also first luffy hug ever??? technically... also we will all hear your voice??? is the translation okay?#namis injured foot being on the panel before vivi sees her.... yeah exactly yeah yeah#vivi is going thru it she has been crying for like 20 minutes poor girl#just realised that robin is kinda oppostie of luffy bc she uses her powers to break peoples bones and she cant do that to luffy ahdkahsk#luffy how are you beating your poor father like that.... goddamn#robin wasnt expecting this??? now what girl?? i think she thinks she might not get to pluton now so she is like fuuck.... why did i save hi#which i do wonder why she saved him did she know about saul being a d? is that in the poneglyphs??#reading one piece
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the closest thing to the """trans agenda""" irl is being asked for pronouns only to be disrespected because of other people's headcanons about yourself mattering more than the truth you inform them of
#IM SOOOOO TIRED ON THE BRINK OF SLEEP OKAY ANYWAYS#anyways im a girl that hates makeup (texture negative)#i dont shave (too much time spent on lots of hair that will grow back in 1-2 days)#i like comfortable clothes with real pockets (sweatpants) (jeans) (gym shorts) (hoodies) (t shirt swag counts as comfy yeahhh boiiiii)#im the evil kind of autist (loud and socially inept and doesnt really care about social gender norms)#i fw suits HEAVY i love COOL LEATHER JACKETS and COOL LONG COATS and TIES and CHAINS#i guess i am also super alienated from women my age 1) a lot of them bullied me in school so its weird 2) their s/o's abused me so its weird#3) i feel like a totally different species who gets really excited when i fit in with my fellow females#thank gop i am not a fictional character they'd be drawing me with top surgery scars 😭😭😭😭😭#silly thing is i have beautiful long hair and i fw skirts and dresses and otherwise stereotypically feminine clothes also#i just prefer being comfy in school/work environments :3#honestly i am just asking for my preferences to be assumed or what fucking ever stop going she- er they i'm gonna FREAK IT !!!!!!!!!!!#DO I LOOK LIKE A MOTH OR ARSON OR SNAIL TO YOU !!!!!!#.txt#whatever . collegemaxxing soon i will find out my predicament by then i hope#delete later
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thinking about how id piece together how magic works in hyrule. into the tags it goes
#like im not gonna go in deptj and build a massivr magic system i am simply not interested enough and its not important enough#but its like. most people have access to some level of magic and each race has a specific kind they specialize in#not as in theyre naturally attuned to it more that they have the right circumstances and items and shit#and dark magic doesn not equal evil and light magic does not equal good#also the hylian royal family dont have goddess blood or w/e they are just natural light magic users#and the female members of the family are the only ones able to use it really well with little practice/in a pinch#yadda yadda hylia died when reincarnating or w/e as sksw zelda so she technically didnt have goddess blood#just like. some fragmenta of hylias being that persisted to get to her to do her plan#im trying to get rid of the hylian royals having literal goddess blood while semi sticking to canon dw abt it#i think its interesting if they just lie about it. strong enough light magic users can just use a bow of light its not unique to royalty#anyways most people can only harness up to two different magic types or one type really powerfully#some people dont haven enough innate ability to harness a specific type but have enough to interact with magically-infused items (link)#light powers and healing powers are connects but count as two different types if that makes sense#and dark powers have a subset where… its fire emblem nosferatu. but its rare and hard to harness and can be dangerous to the user#magic types can be passed through family lines if powerful enough but its not guaranteed and ppl can still choose what they commit to#everyone has one or two they are naturally inclined towards but w/ enough practice can excel at whatever they want#its just easier to tap into those innate magics and it tends to be based on the persons personality and ideals#in general high tension situations or situations up against an opposite/strong vs magic type can unconsciously power up someones magic#people with very low innate magic ability can practice to be attuned to one or two types and use it well but it requires a lot of practice#people also have different thresholds of how much magic they can use and how strong that magic is (mana pool kinda)#you can use a LOT of spells but not be able to handle strong ones or can only use a handful but can use very strong ones#that can also be changed with training#its basically like. people start with some predestined abilities and stuff but can choose to do whatever#ofc different ruling systems and stuff have different opinions and rules on what magic can be used and by who#the hylian kingdom is most restrictive while the gerudo embrace magic- the sheikah embrace it the zora embrace it the rito are meh on it#this is the ganonbeck au. btw. magic system isnt uniform across my aus#salty talks
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TWO MOONS - L.HS
pairing. plug!heeseung x reader
genre. smut, 18+ content, one shot, drabble. MDNI!
word count. 4k+
warnings. drug & alcohol consumption, partying, swearing, sex while intoxicated, short smut [ dry humping, multiple orgasms, oral (f. receiving), fingering ]
synopsis. based off of this hard thought! plug!heeseung who likes you so much that he's convinced himself that you're kinda evil.
a/n. sorry this took so long lol hope u enjoy regardless :) no part 2 so plss dont request it but maybe some drabbles!! also not fully proofread so pls disregard any typos or grammatical errors hehe
Never in his life did Heeseung predict he’d be getting bitched around by a girl arguably much shorter, physically weaker, and far less intimidating than him. And yet here he was, shirtless in his kitchen at two in the morning on his third attempt of baking edibles all because you were too scared to smoke a little weed.
Fucking ridiculous.
It’s his own fault, really, he should’ve known that innocent, good girl persona you put on was all an act you use to control people – specifically men. Stirring the dessert batter in the mixing bowl, Heeseung shakes his head at the memory of you tilting your head and batting your eyelashes at him as you spoke, your perfectly manicured nails – that you probably got some desperate bitchboy to pay for – tracing and lightly scratching his bicep.
“So,” you started, dragging out the ‘o’, “how much do you charge for edibles?”
Heeseung shakes his head, tracing the rim of his half-empty red solo cup as he responds, “Edibles aren’t my forte. You don’t smoke?”
“Not my forte,” you say in a mocking tone, making Heeseung chuckle. “It’s just too much, you know? The smell, how quick it kicks in…not for me. But, uh, if you don’t make them I’ll stop wasting your time, then.” You give Heeseung a friendly pat on the shoulder before turning on your heels, fully prepared to disappear back into the party and find someone who actually meets your needs.
“Wait!” Heeseung stops you, tugging on your arm until you’re back to facing him. He can’t fucking believe this bullshit manipulation tactic you’re using on him is actually working, he’s literally pulling on your arm like a child so you won’t leave him.
You raise a brow at him as you wait for Heeseung to continue, taking note of his sudden nervousness, “Yeah?”
“Uh…are you into, like, brownies? Or…”
The smirk you gave in response said enough, you’ve got him exactly where you want him.
He’d spent the next few hours browsing the aisles of Target, checking his phone every so often and checking off each ingredient as he tossed them into the bright red shopping cart. To make matters worse, you hadn’t even requested normal brownies, you wanted some shit he’d hardly ever heard of before: blondies.
It was bad enough that Heeseung already couldn’t bake for shit, and here you were demanding he’d make something he’d never even tasted before; you really are a master manipulator.
His third and final attempt at baking the blondies were a success, his three roommates taste-testing the fresh batch as a final confirmation.
“I can’t even taste it,” Jake says, his brows shooting up in delight, “you sure you’re not forgetting the main ingredient?”
“That’s the whole point,” Heeseung explains, cutting the remaining batch into neat squares, “YN doesn’t want the taste to be too strong, she likes when it’s more subtle and takes awhile to kick in.”
“Are you her wife or her plug?” Sunghoon jokes from his spot on the couch, taking a small bite of his own blondie.
“Neither,” Jay inserts himself into the conversation, taking a seat next to Sunghoon, “I’m sure he wants to be both, though.”
“Fuck off,” Heeseung snaps, momentarily narrowing his eyes at his roommates. “We just met, I’m just trying to get to know her.” He sets the knife down, reaching into the wooden cabinet to retrieve ziplock bags.
“You’re already her bitch, what else is there to know?” Sunghoon half-jokes, resting his feet on the ottoman.
“I am not her bitch.”
He totally is, if the way he’s hurrying to send you a picture of the freshly made blondies is anything to go by.
Heeseung * 2:47 AM
[Attachment: 1 Image] Yooo
YN * 9:06 AM
omggggg ur the fucking best how much??
You didn’t respond until the following morning, causing Heeseung to nearly jump out of his skin once he woke up to your texts. He turns on his side, elbow propped up against the mattress as he formulates a response.
Heeseung * 10:31 AM
1 for 10 or 2 for 15. venmo or cashapp But lmk if you want more
YN * 10:40 AM
no cash? :(
Heeseung’s about to go on a long winded explanation about how money transferring apps are quicker and more convenient than accepting cash when you interrupt him by sending a photo.
YN * 10:41 AM
[Attachment: 1 Image] plsssss i don’t trust cashapp and ive been having issues w my venmo acc :(
It’s a photo of the bottom half of your face, lips formed into a cute pout with your camera angled low enough to show off your cleavage. You weren’t even trying to be discreet, setting your forearm underneath your chest to make your boobs sit higher, the cheetah print material of your bra peeking out from under your too-small tank top.
Heeseung swallows hard, staring down at the photo with his pupils blown wide as his trembling fingers type out a response.
Heeseung * 10:50 AM
Actually you know what don’t even worry about it lmao Consider it a gift When r u free for pickup Or i can bring to u Either or is fine lol
YN * 10:59 AM
omg :o are u sure? don’t want u to lose out on money >.<
Heeseung * 11:11 AM
It’s fine dw about me baby U picking up? Or want me to drop off On campus is too risky
YN * 11:12 AM
thank u hee!!!!!!! im done with classes around 4:30 i’ll pick up around then if that works also u responded at 11:11…angel number u must be my angel :o
There you go again with your subtle manipulation tactics that Heeseung swears won’t work on him. If there really is angel out of the two of you, it definitely wouldn’t be you, but Heeseung’s not too sure he’d be considered one either. After all, in the twelve minutes it took him to respond to your message, he spent ten of them fucking into his fist as he stared at the photo you sent.
His mind conjured up countless scenarios; leaving hickeys and bite marks across your chest, slipping his dick between your tits as you held them together for him, cumming all over them, fucking anything. Desperate wasn’t even the word.
Heeseung * 11:13 AM
Must be :)
After a month and a half of being your personal baker slash bitchboy, Heeseung really is convinced that you’re using him, yet he doesn’t seem to mind. If anything he’s grateful, fully aware that if it weren’t for him being your plug, the two of you likely never would’ve crossed paths despite attending the same universities.
There wasn’t an ounce of school spirit in his body, so he had little to no urgency to attend any of the sporting events you cheered at or one of the many school-sponsored events you were required to attend. Meeting you at that party not too long ago had been his first encounter with you ever, and you clearly left him with a great first impression on him.
Since that night, he’s found himself conjuring up a new batch of edibles for you every week; brownies, cupcakes, cereal bars, whatever the fuck you wanted, and half the time he’d do it for free if it meant he got to give it to you in person.
He still hasn’t convinced you to actually smoke, though, but maybe it’s for the best. The mere thought of getting high with you and how you’d stare him down with half-lidded eyes was enough to make his dick hard — in fact, it already has. Several times.
Enough time has passed to the point where it’s obvious to everyone, yourself included, that Heeseung has genuine feelings for you that go beyond a physical and sexual attraction. Sure, he’s still convinced that you’re a little bit evil and definitely manipulative, but he considers it part of the fun. He’s also deluded himself into having the “I can fix her” mindset that he’s been using to justify his actions of ignoring your red flags.
However, even if he can’t “fix” you, it wouldn’t be a huge loss. Red is his favorite color, after all.
“You sound…crazy, and she sounds crazier,” Jake leans against the kitchen counter, raising a concerned brow at Heeseung as he takes a sip of his drink.
“I’m not crazy,” Heeseung corrects, “and YN is…I don’t know, honestly. Leave her alone, dipshit.”
Jake throws a hand up in defense, glaring when a fellow partygoer accidentally bumps into him, nearly causing him to spill his drink. “Rather be a dipshit than a bitchboy.” He mutters loud enough for Heeseung to hear before groaning, “Wow, speak of the devil.”
Heeseung turns, following Jake’s line of sight until he spots you walking through the front door. Stunning as always, your khaki mini skirt and black halter top fitting as if they were custom designed for you and only you.
Despite extending you an invitation to Sunghoon’s birthday party, Heeseung was fairly certain you wouldn’t show up tonight, assuming you’d be consumed with cheer practice or one of your many extracurricular activities to attend. Yet, here you were, a wicked grin on your face as you made eye contact with Heeseung.
He gulps in return, eyes wide as he watches you walk over to him and Jake.
You stand beside Heeseung, shooting him a quick smile before directing your attention to Jake, “Sunghoon! Happy birthday, king!”
Jake side-eyes you, briefly glancing at Heeseung before responding, “I’m not…you know what? Nevermind, thanks.” He takes this as an opportunity to exit the conversation, giving Heeseung a light pat on the shoulder as he leaves.
“Didn’t think you’d be here.” Heeseung comments, leaning against the kitchen countertop.
You shrug, “Wasn’t doing anything else, figured it wouldn’t hurt to stop by for a little. Besides, I wanted to see you.”
“Yeah?” Heeseung asks, tongue darting out to lick his lips.
“Yeah,” you respond, taking a step closer and resting your hand on his bicep, “got anything for me?”
Fuck, Heeseung knew he should’ve made another batch of brownies or some shit. He seriously hadn’t been expecting you to show up tonight, otherwise he would’ve been prepared.
He shakes his head, “Not this time, you should’ve told me you were coming; I would’ve made something.”
You groan, momentarily tilting your head back, “I just wanted to surprise you.”
“Consider me surprised,” his hand lands on your waist, pulling your body until your flush against him, “why won’t you just smoke with me?”
You grimace, shaking your head in response.
Heeseung rolls his eyes, “Just once? I know your first time wasn’t that great, but, I really think you’d like it if you tried again.”
“I don’t know, Hee…”
“Tell you what,” Heeseung starts, clearing his throat, “smoke with me just this once, and your next few purchases are on me.”
It isn’t much of an offer considering most of the shit he gave you was either free or already extremely discounted, but your eyes light up regardless. “Really?”
Heeseung nods, “I swear.”
You think it over for a moment, the pros instantly outweigh the cons and lead you to accept Heeseung’s desperate offer.
A few minutes later, you find yourself in a comfortable lounge chair with Heeseung in his backyard, grateful that the remaining partygoers opted to stay indoors, giving you privacy and alone time with him.
You’re sitting sideways on his lap, trying your best to ignore the feeling of his dick pressing right against your ass, neatly rolled blunt in one hand as he uses the other to fish a lighter from his pocket. “You’re nervous,” he comments.
You shake your head, “I’m not.”
“You are, I feel you shaking.”
“I’m fine, just kinda cold. Go on.”
Heeseung studies you for a moment, eye contact strong and intimidating as ever as he brings the blunt to his parted lips. You watch carefully as he brings the lighter towards the tip, focusing entirely too much on the concentrated look on his face as he lights it. Slowly, he begins to rotate it as the end continues to burn, taking a few small puffs here and there.
Satisfied with his creation, Heeseung takes a long, slow drag, inhaling the smoke into his lungs before titling his head away to exhale.
“Your turn,” he says, offering you the blunt.
You hesitantly stare down at it before accepting; it was intimidating to say the least, the scent alone strong enough to make your head hurt. Heeseung watches you patiently, eyes darting between your lips and the blunt in silence.
Deciding you need a little bit of encouragement, he brings his thumb to your lips, parting them slightly as his free-hand wraps around your wrist, “You’ll be fine, trust me.”
Under the guidance of his calloused hand, you finally bring the blunt up to your lips and briefly inhale before immediately exhaling.
Heeseung chuckles, shaking his head, “How’d that feel?”
You ponder for a moment, passing the blunt back to Heeseung, “I don’t feel anything. Literally nothing.”
“I mean, yeah, you didn’t even inhale it.”
You roll your eyes, “Why are there so many steps? This is why I prefer edibles.”
“I’m just showing you that you have other options, babe.”
“Yeah, well I’m sticking to my baked goods. You can have the rest of that, I don’t want anymore.”
Heeseung’s well aware that you’re a woman of your word, and the chances of you ever smoking again were a definite zero, so trying to get you to change your mind was pointless. However, there is one thing that may just work on you.
“Mind if I try something?”
You perk up, “Try what?”
“I do all the work but you still get high.”
You raise a brow, “That’s possible?”
He nods, “All you’d have to do is take deep breaths.”
Taking a deep breath, you accept Heeseung’s offer with a sigh, resting a hand on his shoulder as you adjust yourself on his lap. “Fine.”
Here goes nothing.
He guides the blunt back to his lips, taking a long drag as he holds the smoke in his mouth. He tilts his head upward towards you, taking your chin in his hand, signaling for you to part your lips. You follow his command and part your lips open, just enough for Heeseung to close the distance and allow the smoke into your mouth, his lips barely brushing against yours in the process.
You take in a deep breath, eyes closed shut and inhale the smoke, careful not to exhale too quickly and have a repeat of your previous attempt.
“How was that?” Heeseung asks, taking note of your sudden silence.
Truthfully, it wasn’t bad. The smell is still too strong for your liking and requires much more effort than biting off a piece of dessert and calling it a day, but it wasn’t bad. You’re certain that Heeseung shotgunning it into your mouth only added to the experience.
“Not bad,” you admit, “probably because you did all the work.”
He chuckles at that, “I’ll always take care of you, remember that.”
Heeseung is having the time of his life, thoroughly convinced that he finally has some power over you. Here you were sitting on his lap in his backyard letting him blow smoke into your mouth. Sure, it may have taken a lot of convincing and begging on his end to get to this point, but none of that matters; baby steps are still movement.
As if the night couldn’t have gotten any better, you’re asking Heeseung to shotgun more smoke into your mouth over and over. He’s careful to maintain a calm and nonchalant demeanor as he does so, not wanting to come off as too eager out of fear of scaring you away. Or even worse, giving you back that power you have over him.
On the fifth time, you swipe your tongue across Heeseung’s bottom lip when he passes the smoke into your mouth, a low groan escaping from him in the process. He’s fully hard in his jeans by now, and there’s no way you can’t feel his dick pressing right into you. Despite the cold weather, your entire body feels warm all over, Heeseung only adding to the pleasure.
You should’ve taken Heeseung a bit more seriously when he said you’d still get high from this; after a few minutes, your limbs were already starting to feel lighter and weaker. A delicate, cloud-like haze fills your head; your vision blurs slightly and it takes a few minutes for you to fully relax.
Heeseung, attentive as ever, remains silent and still has he watches you; primarily due to the fact that you squirming around on his lap is only adding to the uncomfortable tightness in his jeans. One wrong move, and he’d surely be cumming in his boxers.
You rest your forehead against Heeseung, pressing a firm hand against his chest when he moves to blow more smoke into your mouth. He hums, staring up at with a concerned look on his face.
You close your eyes, mumbling, “Heeseung…”
He hums again in response, still holding the smoke in his mouth.
You open your eyes briefly before closing them again, balling up the collar of his shirt in your fist as you lean down to press your lips against his. He opens his mouth on instinct, as if it were a second nature, parting his lips slightly and exhaling the smoke into your mouth once again.
Heeseung absentmindedly sets the blunt down, his hands moving to your waist to pull you closer to him until your tits are pressed right up against his chest. He groans into your mouth at the feelings, tilting his head to allow himself further into your mouth.
You cup his face in your hands, hips moving forward as you slowly begin to grind yourself against him. “Fuck,” he moans in a low voice, “keep doing that.”
You grind down harsher this time, capturing his moan in your mouth in the process. With each movement of your hips, a shiver descends down your spine at the friction; Heeseung is painfully hard, and from what you could feel, he was definitely packing. Bigger than what you would’ve expected.
It all feels too good; you grinding against him, the state of his high, your tongue in his mouth. It’s all so overwhelmingly euphoric that Heeseung hardly realizes how close he is to literally cumming in his boxers.
His body was always overly sensitive whenever he got high, and often avoided any sort of intimacy that involved another person due to how embarrassingly quick he would finish, and tonight doesn't seem to be any different. What makes matters worse is the fact that Heeseung was already desperately attracted to you and had been dreaming of this moment since he’d first met you.
He pulls away quickly, cursing under his breath, “YN, h-hold on,” he stutters, “slow down, please.”
You don’t listen; in fact, you can barely even hear him with how caught up you were in your own head. “Hmm? Say that again?”
“S-slow – ah, fuck – slow down for a sec, baby.”
His grip on your waist tightens, and despite the urgency in his tone of wanting you to slow down, he makes no effort to still your hips move you off of him. Fuck it, it is what it is.
“Why?” You question, tilting your head, but you’re a few seconds too late.
Heeseung’s entire body shivers, hips jolting upwards as he comes on himself, making a mess of his boxers. While that alone was definitely embarrassing, Heeseung is more annoyed over the fact that you’ve regained your power over him. His priorities were definitely fucked, but he didn’t even care; he could clean himself up later, but the damage to his ego would take longer to repair.
Your hands fly to your mouth in shock, eyes widening as you process what’s just happened, “Oh, Heeseung…” you mumble into the palm of your hands.
He throws his head back, eyes squeezed shut as he runs a hand down his face, “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding.”
“It’s okay! It happens! No big deal!” You try to reassure him, but it goes in one ear and out the other.
Sure it happens and maybe it isn’t a big deal, but it is for Heeseung. He’s not the type to bust a nut over someone squirming around in his lap for ten minutes, this shit was fucking insanity.
“I’m seriously not like this, I’m just overly-sensitive when I’m high. I swear, I-”
“It’s fine, Heeseung,” you interrupt, standing from his lap, “if anything, I’m flattered! Why don’t you, uh, get cleaned up and I’ll see you later?”
“YN, come on, don’t do this.” He pleads, following you and you make your way towards the sliding door.
“I told you, it’s fine! I’m not like,” you pause, opening the door with a loud grunt, “mad or weirded out or anything.”
You slip back into the living room, Heeseung hot on your tail with every step. “Let me make it up to you!”
You sigh, “Honestly, I don’t think you have it in you to do that right now.”
“I do! Just let me, please.”
“Heeseung, please drop it. I said it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine, at least let me eat you out or something!”
“Heeseung!” Your eyes widen at his lewd, shameless offer, “Lower your voice! We’re in a fucking party surrounded by people!”
He smacks his teeth, “I don’t care. Please, YN.”
“You don’t have to make it up to me, you do not owe me anything.”
A beat of silence passes, then he says, “Then do it for me. Please.”
Even though Heeseung was the one literally begging to go down for you, there is a possibility of him having some sort of power over you; or maybe you just have a soft spot for him. Either way, you end up lying in his bed twenty minutes later, skirt bunched up around your waist as Heeseung’s wet tongue circles your clit, desperate attempt at coaxing a second orgasm from you.
He hadn’t even realized he’d grown hard again just from eating you out, and would likely end up cuuming in his boxers again just from doing this.
“Fuck,” he moans into your folds, pulling away slightly to pepper kisses on your inner thighs, “been waiting so fucking long for this.”
“Yeah?” You question, your grip on Heeseung’s hair tightening.
This earns a low groan from him as he nods against your skin, “You have no idea.”
Deciding he’s spent enough time away from your cunt, his lips make their way back onto you; his tongue falls flat against you, dragging your wetness upwards towards your swollen clit before wrapping his lips around the sensitive bud.
Your body shivers, a beam of sweat dripping down your forehead as your second orgasm approaches. You’ve been eaten out before, countless times, but never like this. It was almost as if Heeseung was doing it for his own pleasure rather than your.
He teases your entrance with his finger before sliding two of them in with ease, curling them upwards and immediately hitting the spot you needed him the most.
“H-Heeseung…hold on…”
He hums, but he’s not really listening, too occupied with kitten-licking your clit and pumping his fingers in and out of you. The knot in your stomach finally snaps and you’re gushing against his hands and mouth, Heeseung only takes this as a sign to continue lapping at your cunt. You have to literally grab him by the hair and drag him away from you.
He stares up at you, pupils blown wide and his chin coated in your juices, but he definitely looks happy. “What?” he asks.
You struggle to catch your breath, “You’re hard again?”
He looks down at his crotch momentarily before shrugging, “I guess.”
“You…don’t you wanna do something about that?”
His eyes flash down to your cunt for a split second, “It can wait.”
You scoff, “Well, I need a minute.”
Heeseung nods in agreement, impatiently drumming his fingers on his bed as you flop against his mattress. “Ready?” He asks once a minute has passed.
“No.”
He sighs, then sighs again, and again and again until you let out a frustrated groan. “Go get me a glass of fucking water.”
“Okay!” He shouts while standing, exiting the bedroom in a hurry. Maybe you really do treat him like a bitchboy, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
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