#she will not give anyone any chance of badmouthing her sisters

[caitlynmeow]

When Daniela graduated from high school and was about to enroll in university:

Bela: What do you want to major in?

Daniela: What do they have?

Bela: This is not a restaurant, Dani 😭😭😭

[datleggy]

I’d Come For You (version 1)

Chapter One.

May doesn’t mention Buck to the cops, and her friends likewise keep their mouths shut about his involvement in the incident.

The three men Buck took on to protect them earlier are cuffed and in the back of two police vehicles, and none of them mention anything either, probably embarrassed to have had their asses handed to them by just one guy alone.

May spends the rest of her Friday night thinking about what happened at the mall that day. About how the men had cornered her and her two friends at the mall parking lot in a more secluded area. And how Buck, who she’d seen in passing, but hadn’t stopped to say hello, had rushed over to help as soon as he realized they were in trouble.

She touches her wrist where one of the three men had taken hold of her, just as Buck had told him in no uncertain terms to fuck off, before the fighting had begun. After the dust had settled and only Buck was left, somehow, miraculously standing, he’d turned to make sure they were all alright.

After confirming that none of them were hurt and someone from the small crowd that had gathered called 9-1-1, Buck had split, but not before asking May not to tell Bobby or Athena that he’d been there. She’d agreed then, too shocked to be anything but compliant at the time, but now, well past midnight, it’s what’s keeping her awake.

Why wouldn’t Buck want her mom and step dad to know? Buck had saved her, her and her friends! As far as she’s concerned, everyone should know. But the look of panic that had crossed his face when he’d begged her not to say a word, that’s what keeps her from telling anyone that night, and though she eventually falls asleep, it’s a restless slumber.

          ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

May and Harry help set up the yard for the BBQ they’re hosting the next day, though Harry notices how distracted his sister is throughout, and questions her, genuine worry on his face. May knows he still sometimes looks at her and thinks about the time she tried to end it all, and isn’t surprised by the concern; in fact, she’s a little touched, though she’ll never admit it out loud.

“I’m fine,” she says, then pauses and purses her lips. “Can I tell you something, and you have to pinky promise not to say anything? Not to mom or dad or even Bobby.”

Harry looks curious before turning serious. “I swear.” he holds out his pinky.

May smiles, wrapping her pinky around his and locking them together. She takes a deep breath. “So, at the mall yesterday, when I was out with Alisa and Quinn, these three creeps started harassing us in the parking lot, and one of them got kind of aggressive and he grabbed me--”

“Are you ok?!” Harry half-whispers, looking around to make sure no adult is in sight.

May nods, placing a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. “I’m fine, and it’s all because of Buck. He ran over and told them to leave us alone and when he tried to call the cops the jerk who grabbed me swung at him.”

Harry’s eyes go wide. “Is he ok? What happened? Didn’t you say there were three dudes?!”

May sighs, “I don’t know, he kicked ass and some rando called the cops and the assholes got arrested, but Buck left as soon as we were safe again, and he asked me not to say anything to anyone, but I’m worried.” she wraps her arms around herself, biting her lip. “Buck is strong and everything happened so fast, but I was there, I saw the fight, he took a lot of hits. What if he’s hurt really bad and he didn’t tell anyone?”

Harry shakes his head. “But why wouldn’t he say anything? He’s a hero! He saved you.”

May grimaces. “I think it’s because of that whole stupid lawsuit thing---which, for the record, I think he was in his right to file. I love Bobby, but he had no reason to keep Buck from his job. He was being overly cautious; and I get that, because well, Buck’s like a big brother to me, I never wanna’ see him get hurt, but that doesn’t mean Bobby was right to deny him when the board themselves agreed Buck was fine to do field work after passing that test.” she shakes her head, annoyed at the adults in her life.

Sometimes they made absolutely no sense.

Harry’s heard his mom and Bobby talk about it, about how Buck is back on the team, but Bobby still isn’t sure he should be out on calls with everyone. He doesn’t really understand, but it seems unfair to Buck, who Harry knows from hearing his mom speak of him over dinner sometimes, is always trying his best to prove himself.

Still, he tries to reassure May, bumping her hip gently. “Don’t worry, we’ll see Buck in a couple of hours at the barbecue. We can check on him then.”

May nods, a little reassured. “You’re right. Thanks Harry.”

One by one, or in pairs, the 118 arrive to the Nash-Grant household.

Though he’s a couple of years older than Christopher and Denny, Harry still has fun hanging out with the boys, especially because due to the age difference, the kids often follow his command when they play games.

May waits anxiously for Buck to show up, but about an hour into the get together she realizes he’s probably not coming, and she has a horrible sneaking suspicion that perhaps he wasn’t actually invited.

The adults are gathered near the grill, Bobby and Michael taking turns flipping burgers---both wearing silly ‘kiss the cook’ aprons Athena gifted them for Christmas last year, with Eddie, Chim and Hen nursing beers to the side.

“Hey, um, do any of you know when Buck is coming?” she asks, interrupting the flow of conversation among them.

Michael looks around, “That’s right, where is the big guy? He’s half the reason I went out and got all this meat.” he jokes.

Bobby makes a face, an ‘I’d really like to change the subject right now’ face, and sighs. “I thought it’d be less awkward if I just didn’t invite him today.” he admits. “Things are still kind of...tense, at work.”

Eddie snorts. “That’s putting it mildly.” he swigs back the rest of his beer, clearly annoyed.

Hen scratches the back of her head. “Yeah, things are...complicated between all of us at the moment.”

“Plus,” Eddie adds bitterly, “He’d probably rather spend his Saturday afternoon with that lawyer pal of his.”

Chim frowns. “C’mon guys, it’s been months, we really should give the guy a break, he went through a lot.”

Hen arches a brow. “Says the guy dating his sister. Look, I love Buck, but he’s gotta learn that doing dumb impulsive things that hurt the people he claims to love is not ok. This is what, his third or fourth ‘second chance’ the Cap’s given him since he started at the station?”

Eddie nods. “Exactly. Enough’s enough.”

Athena hears the conversation going and decides to join in, “We talkin’ about our boy genius over here?” she asks, sarcastically.

Michael shakes his head. “I think you’re all being a little rough on the poor kid, no?”

Athena shrugs. “He brings this kinda thing on himself, if you ask me. I love the boy, but he’s like a walking talking magnet for trouble.”

“You guys are being completely unfair!” May finally cuts in, almost shaking with indignation.

The adults all turn to her in surprise. “Now May, you know better than to raise your voice like that to--”

“Well I thought you were a better judge of character, but I guess we were both wrong!” she continues, as if her mother hadn’t ever uttered a word. “Buck is the only reason I’m even alive right now!” she blurts out in anger. May can’t stand one more person saying one more stupid untrue thing about Buck!

Michael’s the first to react, “I’m sorry, what did you just say? What are you talking about? What happened?”

May hates that she’s breaking her promise to Buck, but she hates what they’re saying about him even more, so she spills everything, telling the whole crew, plus her mom and dad about what happened the day before, how Buck literally swooped in and saved her and her friends from some serious creeps at the mall, how he made sure everyone was safe and sound, though he was clearly injured during the fight.

“Baby, why on earth didn’t you say anything last night?” Athena asks, worriedly checking May over for any possible hidden bumps or bruises on her person.

“I’m fine,” she insists, stepping back. “Buck begged me to keep his name out of it. I didn’t get why before, but after hearing you guys badmouth him while he’s not even here to defend himself, I can see why he wouldn’t think any of you would give a fu---”

“May!” Michael interrupts, eyes widening.

May folds her arms across her chest and heaves an aggravated sigh. “He probably knows you guys don’t care about him, so why bother!” she runs away after her outburst; she’s too angry to stay, she doesn’t know what else will come out of her mouth if she does.

Athena calls after her but she doesn’t stop, slamming the door to the patio behind her.

Michael grimaces. “I’ll go talk to her.” he says, looking at Bobby and Athena. “Maybe you guys should go talk to Buck. See if he’s ok.” he suggests. He’s always liked that kid, and had in fact agreed with Buck’s decision to sue the department at the time that he did.

Karen and Chim stay behind to watch the kids while Athena Bobby and the rest of the crew rush to Buck’s home.

          --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Perhaps sending four people to check up on Buck is overkill, Bobby starts to think, as they get out of the car. Surely if Buck was hurt in any grievous way yesterday he would have gone to the hospital, wouldn’t he?

Athena knocks on the door, her knuckles hard against the wooden surface. “Buck?” she calls, when a few too many seconds pass without a response. “His Jeep is still in the driveway, he’s gotta’ be home.”

Eddie scoots her and Bobby aside and digs out his copy of Buck’s house key, making everyone raise their eyebrows in surprise. Bobby knows the two men are close, but copy of each others house keys close? Huh.

Eddie opens the door and marches inside, calling out Buck’s name again. He’s quickly followed by Hen, Athena and the Captain.

There’s a bloody rag on the kitchen counter---it looks fresh.

He’s not upstairs in his bedroom, not in the kitchen or in the connecting living room either. Eddie dashes towards the bathroom and slams open the door without even a moments’ thought. “Buck!?”

Buck lets out a startled yip and nearly falls off the sink counter, midway through applying what looks to be some ointment across his side and lower hip, over some seriously alarming bruising.

Buck hastily removes his earphones and sets them atop his phone on the sink. “What the hell is going on?” he hops off the counter, wincing when he lands. “Why are you in my bathroom? All of you?”

He is very much neither ready, nor in the mood for guests right now. Buck snatches a towel to wrap around his waist, embarrassed to be seen in his underwear by Athena of all people.

But Athena isn’t focused on that at all, she can’t bring herself to look away from the spatter of nasty bruises running all across Buck’s chest, side and back---it almost looks like the poor kid got hit by a bus. “Buck, did you get those looked at by a doctor?” she asks, praying he did, but somehow already knowing the answer is a no.

Buck furrows his brows. “It’s nothing. I’m fine. Can you all please get out of my bathroom and let me get dressed?”

Hesitantly they do just that, giving Buck the space and privacy he needs. 

Buck comes out a few minutes later, now in a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt that covers all of his injuries, except the split lip, of course. It’s still a little bloody, and Eddie’s pretty sure that’s where all the blood in the kitchen originated---or at least he hopes, since he didn’t see any other open wounds on Buck.

“So...what are you guys doing here?”

Bobby stares at him like he’s gone nuts. “Buck, you’re hurt, we need to get you to a hospital.”

Buck frowns. “I’m just bruised. It’s really not that bad.” He gulps. “How did you even know? Wait, is May ok?”

Athena cuts in. “Buck, she’s alright.” She looks at him, grateful beyond words. “Thanks to you. But now we need to make sure you’re going to be alright. You could have internal bleeding; those are some real nasty bruises you’ve got.”

Buck lets out a relieved breathe. He hated leaving May and her friends after everything, even knowing they were in good hands, so he’s happy to hear they’re alright. But this mess here is what he’d been trying to avoid in the first place. He turns to the Captain, “I’m fine, really. If this is about me not showing up to work on Monday you don’t have to worry, I’m fit for duty, I swear.” he tries to assure him.

Bobby shakes his head vehemently. “Is that what you think this visit is? Buck, I’m not here as your Captain, I’m here as someone who cares about you. How could you try to hide something like this from me? You should have told me as soon as it happened. I know things haven’t been great with all of us lately but we’re still family--”

"It's been almost five months since I came back and you haven't said a single thing to me that wasn't an order for me to do chores or to yell at me in front of everyone for even the smallest mistake.” Buck clenches his fists at his sides, incredulous. “For all I know Captain Nash, if I had come forward you would've just accused me of lying and trying to use May to get back into everybody's good graces.”

There’s a sharp pain in his side, but he chooses to ignore it. “You wanted to teach me a lesson, well, lesson learned, I get it already. We aren’t family." Buck winces when the pain becomes shooting, wrapping an arm around his mid section.

“Buck! Buck?!”

Maybe he should have gone to the hospital, after all, he thinks fuzzily, as everyone around him starts to blur and suddenly it all fades to black.

[hcneylaced]

(  MOON   GAYOUNG,   CISWOMAN,   SHE/HER    ╱    wait   is   that   ROSALIE   MYUNG   ?   I   heard   the   24  YEAR  OLD,   NURSE   has   only   been   living   in   new   york   city   for   the   past   SIX   YEARS   &   seems   to   have   already   made   a   name   for   themselves.   though   they   can   be   DEPENDABLE   &   WITTY,   you   should   watch   out   because   they   are   also   known   to   be   GUARDED   &   OBSTINATE.   however,   they   seem   to   post   a lot   about   CHERRY   STAINED   RED   LIPS,   THE   RELIEF   OF   A   HAPPY   ENDING   TO   A   GREAT   NOVEL,   PIANO   KEYS   THAT   COLLECTED   DUST   OVER   THE   YEARS.   but   I   am   definitely   curious   about   that   RING   ON   A   CHAIN   AS   A   NECKLACE   they   hold   so   dear. 

                               ─ ─ ─  ⋆   hi,   i’m   ali!   i’m   very   excited   to   be   here   and   meet   you   along   with   all   your   muses!   rosalie   is   a   muse   i   created   a   few   months   ago,   but   never   had   the   chance   to   develop   so   i   can’t   wait   to   see   how   she   interacts   with   your   muses!   below   you   will   find   rosalie’s   biography   and   below   that   you   will   find   wanted   connections   for   her!   if   you’d   like   to   plot   with   rosalie   or   you   see   a   wanted   connection   (   below   )   that   you   see   fits   your   muse,   feel   free   to   give   this   a   like!   we   can   exchange   discords   too   if   plotting   is   easier   that   way!   ⋆  ─ ─ ─

___________________________________________

BASICS.

full name : rosalie myung . nicknames : rosie, rosa . date of birth / age : may 13 , twenty four . star sign : taurus . gender / pronouns : cis woman , she & her . orientation : demisexual , biromantic . nationality : korean , american . languages : english , korean .

APPERANCE.

height : five foot five . build : petite , slim . hair color : brunette . eye color : dark brown . style : here . tattoos : here . scars : underneath her jaw ( from her brother ) . faceclaim : moon ga young .

PERSONALITY.

positive : witty , dependable , practical , independent , kind-hearted . negative : guarded , obstinate , brooding , blunt , proud . likes : playing piano, writing music, red lipstick, her frequent patients, pastry . dislikes : her brother , her mother , cockiness , showing her own weakness . quirks : hair twirling . hobbies : playing piano ( once upon a time ) , writing lyrics , writing music . fears : the feeling of being unloved , showing a sense of weakness , heights , her brother .

PINTEREST

ღ ___________________________________________ ღ

TW:   ABUSE   ,   BULLYING   ,   ALCOHOLISM   ,   DEATH   ,   POSTPARTUM.

                               daddy’s   little   girl   from   the   start,   ROSALIE   MYUNG   always   got   whatever   she   wanted   by   simply   asking.   her   father,   DONG-HYUN   MYUNG,   would   give   her   anything   without   question   as   long   as   his   little   girl   was   happy   and   thriving.   rosalie   was   never   ungrateful   for   the   gifts   she   received   and   despite   being   born   into   money,   secured   for   the   rest   of   her   life   and   more   than   comfortable,   she   formed   a   close   bond   with   her   father,   appreciating   everything   he   did   for   her.   her   first   best   friend,   her   favorite   person,   it   was   obvious   that   rosalie   was   the   favorite   child.   he   would   put   rosalie   above   anyone   and   anything   ━   rosalie   came   first.

                               it   lead   to   the   relationship   between   dong-hyun   and   her   older   brother,   GRAYSON   MYUNG,   strained.   it   was   filled   with   awkward   silences   that   her   brother   tried   fix   with   words   of   desperation   for   a   look   in   his   direction,   for   dong-hyun   to   be   proud.   grayson   wanted   to   gain   their   father’s   attention   and   affection   more   than   anything,   a   feeling   of   hatred   blooming   inside   of   him   for   his   younger   sister   when   it   was   clear   he   was   failing.   rosalie   didn’t   have   to   do   much   to   be   the   favorite   ━   coming   into   this   earth   and   stealing   their   father’s   heart   instantly.

                               while   her   relationship   with   her   father   continued   to   get   stronger,   rosalie   couldn’t   remember   a   time   that   her   mother,   BITNA   MYUNG,   wasn’t   so   cold   toward   her.   postpartum   depression   was   the   medical   term   given   when   rosalie   was   five   months   old   and   bitna   couldn’t   find   it   in   herself   to   hold   her   new   baby,   to   feel   joy   within   her   over   rosalie.   it   wasn’t   the   same   feeling   she   had   with   grayson.   as   rosalie   became   older,   however,   nothing   seemed   to   change.   while   the   two   never   clicked,   rosalie   tried   her   best   to   bond   with   her   mother.   the   way   rosalie’s   father   was   invested   in   work,   but   went   out   of   his   way   for   their   daughter,   left   a   bitter   taste   in   bitna’s   mouth   and   kept   rosalie   at   arm’s   length.

                               at   fourteen   years   old,   rosalie   loses   the   one   person   she   thought   she   could   never   live   without.   a   drunk   driver   the   police   said,   her   father   died   at   the   scene   and   they   did   the   best   they   could   to   help   him.   flashbacks   of   how   destroyed   his   car   was   doesn’t   leave   her   mind,   bile   rising   up   in   her   throat   at   the   thought   of   what   took   place   inside   that   vehicle.   the   tension   in   the   myung   household   grows,   rosalie   feeling   like   she   was   now   an   outsider   in   her   own   family.   

                               starting   freshman   year   of   high   school,   rosalie   starts   pushing   her   friends   away   and   it   doesn’t   take   much   for   them   to   move   on   without   finding   a   reason.   the   light   rosalie   used   to   have   dims.   while   she   excels   in   school,   her   social   life   goes   down   the   drain   until   there’s   nothing   left.   the   friends   she   used   to   have   whisper   behind   her   back.   the   books   she   held   in   her   arms   forcefully   dropped   to   the   floor   after   an   accidentally   bump   in   the   hallway.   notes   left   behind   in   her   locker   with   both   familiar   and   unfamiliar   handwriting   that   leaves   her   more   angry   than   sad.   a   wall   builds   up   quickly,   ignoring   everyone   around   her   until   she’s   able   to   answer   the   questions   in   class   or   hand   a   witty   response   to   whoever   decides   to   mess   with   her.

                               rosalie’s   home   life   becomes   darker.   at   eighteen   years   old   and   a   graduate   from   high   school,   grayson’s   main   goal   is   to   take   over   her   father’s   business   that   left   their   family   rich.   he’s   smart   and   knows   the   in   and   out   of   the   business   from   all   the   times   he’d   shadow   his   father.   grayson   wants   to   be   the   man   of   the   house   now,   wants   to   make   sure   his   mother   is   secure   and   comfortable   living.   rosalie   is   the   last   thing   on   his   mind   and   it   shows.   while   he’s   stepping   up   to   the   plate,   the   added   stress   he’s   put   on   his   plate   taking   a   toll   and   he   turns   to   drinking   early   on.   their   mother   remains   in   the   shadows.   without   much   words   between   rosalie   and   bitna,   the   former   knows   her   mother   is   grieving   over   the   death   of   her   father.   

                               the   first   anniversary   of   dong-hyun’s   passing   is   when   the   hits   start.   rosalie   had   been   used   to   the   verbal   lashing   her   older   brother   used   to   give   her,   able   to   let   the   harsh   comments   roll   of   her   shoulders   and   move   on.   there   wasn’t   a   time   he   was   physical,   however.   it   changed   when   they   got   into   argument,   rosalie   not   knowing   what   to   do   with   her   life,   but   working   at   dong-hyun’s   company   wasn’t   something   she   saw   in   her   future.   it   was   a   quick   contact   of   cheek   to   hand,   broken   and   bruised   skin   taking   form   hours   later.   there   was   no   apology   afterward   and   as   the   days   went   on,   it   was   a   repeat   of   the   same   thing.   it   was   easy   for   rosalie   to   hide   the   bruises   and   marks   left   behind.   her   mother   turned   a   blind   eye   and   her   classmates   weren’t   watching   her   enough   to   notice   or   care.

                               the   walls   grow   taller   around   rosalie.   she   rather   people   think   she   was   a   horrible   person,   a   complete   freak   than   think   she   was   weak.   after   one   too   many   bumps   and   mending   herself   together,   it’s   her   senior   year   when   rosalie   realizes   what   she   wants   to   do   with   her   future.   deep   down,   she   has   a   heart   of   gold.   a   nurse   ━   someone   who   can   help   others,   who   can   patch   up   their   wounds   and   calm   them   down   and   all   around   be   there   for   them.   it’s   an   idea   she   sleeps   on,   but   wakes   up   knowing   it’s   what   she   wants.

                               new   york   is   her   escape.   she   applies   for   as   many   universities   as   she   can,   her   outstanding   grades   and   extra   credits   enough   for   her   to   get   accepted   into   every   college   of   her   choice.   by   the   time   she’s   eighteen   and   graduated,   she’s   packing   her   stuff   and   leaving   her   hometown   behind   without   a   word   to   her   mother   or   brother.   she   gets   a   job   as   a   receptionist,   saves   up   all   her   money   while   living   in   one   of   the   most   run   down   apartments   she’s   ever   seen.   rosalie   starts   from   the   ground   up,   however,   thrilled   to   be   getting   away   from   where   she   once   lived,   who   she   had   to   surround   herself   with.   she   makes   friends   and   works   hard   in   all   her   classes   ━   passes   with   flying   colors   and   graduates   with   honors.   

                               currently,   rosalie   is   living   in   new   york   with   her   guard   still   up.   she’s   not   soft,   but   kind   ━   her   softness   showing   for   her   patients   and   disappearing   once   she   clocks   out.   she   still   lives   in   an   apartment,   but   a   much   better   one   that   she   can   be   proud   of.   rosalie   isn’t   completely   out   of   the   clear,   unfortunately,   because   after   her   brother   found   out   about   her   whereabouts,   he   doesn’t   want   to   leave   her   alone.   grayson   has   still   never   apologized   for   the   abuse   he   put   her   through,   but   all   she   does   is   screen   his   calls   and   hope   one   day   he   gets   the   hint.   

                               and   well,   if   you   tell   rosalie   gods   and   goddesses   are   roaming   new   york   city   under   the   disguise   of   a   normal   human,   she   more   than   likely   wouldn’t   believe   you.

                              TIDBITS;

                               ⋆   when   rosalie   was   younger,   her   father   taught   her   how   to   play   the   piano.   the   talent   came   natural   to   her   and   she   had   an   ear   for   music   and   lyrics.   after   his   passing,   rosalie   hasn’t   even   looked   at   a   piano.   deep   down,   she   misses   the   feeling   of   the   smooth   keys   underneath   her   fingertips,   but   it   brings   up   too   many   memories   of   her   father.

                               ⋆   the   ring   she   keeps   on   a   chain   as   a   necklace   belongs   to   her   late   father.   it’s   a   piece   of   him   she   takes   everywhere   she   goes.   rosalie   will   take   it   off   for   bed   and   when   she   bathes,   but   it’s   always   near   her.   she’s   never   not   wearing   it.   it’s   another   way   to   keep   her   father   close   to   her   heart.

WANTED   CONNECTIONS;

                               wanted   tag   can   be   found   here   !

                               any   and   all   connections   are   open   to   humans   and   gods/goddesses   !

                               WANTED   01   :   this   person   was   rosalie’s   high   school   sweetheart   ━      at   least   to   her   own   knowledge   since   no   one   else   knew.   they   were   the   first   person   to   get   passed   her   cold   exterior,   the   first   person   after   her   father’s   dath   that   she   opened   her   heart   to.   the   two   messed   around,   rosalie   eventually   falling   in   love   despite   the   two   being   a   secret   and   regardless   of   the   other   never   sticking   up   for   her   when   people   badmouthed   her   at   school.   rosalie   ended   up   with   her   heartbroken,   the   pushing   the   other   away   as   much   as   possible.   they   went   from   almost   knowing   each   other   inside   out   to   complete   strangers   once   again.   rosalie   considers   this   person   someone   she   dislikes   and   wants   nothing   to   do   with.

                               status:   OPEN

                               WANTED   02   :   one   of   rosalie’s   soft   spots.   they   have   a   cliche   moment   where   she   calls   the   other   an   idiot   and   the   reply   back   is   “but   i’m   your   idiot,”   and   they   wouldn’t   be   wrong   about   it.

                               status:   OPEN 

                               WANTED   03   :   just   someone   who   can   be   soft   with   her   even   though   she’s   horrible   at   emotions   ━   emotionally   constipated   is   what   she   is,   honestly.   she’s   another   person   she   has   a   soft   spot   for   one   the   down   low,   would   do   anything   for   them,   but   can’t   exactly   put   into   words   how   much   they   mean   to   her.   platonic   soulmates,   actual   soulmates.   they’re   the   type   to   hang   out   until   it’s   one   in   the   morning   and   rosalie   is   nodding   off   on   their   shoulder   peacefully.

                               status:   OPEN

                               WANTED   04   :   a   person   she   can   bicker   with.   rosalie   needs   to   have   the   last   word,   a   routine   she   got   into   when   she   couldn’t   answer   her   brother   back   without   some   repercussion   and   her   witty   insults   were   the   only   thing   in   between   her   and   her   classmates.   she   finds   this   person   annoying,   sometimes   unbearable   to   be   around,   but   she   wouldn’t   consider   them   someone   she   dislikes   or   hates.   their   conversation   just   has   a   lot   of   eye   rolls   and   blank   expressions   on   rosalie’s   part,   almost   too   blunt   with   them.

                               status:   OPEN

                               WANTED   05   :   a   roommate.   pretty   simple   and   to   the   point.   someone   that   rosalie   lives   with.   their   relationship   can   depend   on   a   multitude   of   things,   but   starting   her   life   in   new   york   from   scratch   would   more   than   likely   still   have   her   living   in   a   (nice)   apartment   some   years   later.

                               status:   OPEN

[hamliet]

On Privilege and Parallels: MianMian and SiSi, Wei WuXian and Jin GuangYao

Aka two minor characters who happen to be some of the only female characters who survive MDZS. Granted a lot of characters don’t survive MDZS, but it’s definitely lopsided gender-wise. However, no story is perfect. 

(brb crying forever)

Anyways, what struck me while rereading certain parts of MDZS after watching The Untamed was how these seemingly very minor characters actually have quite important thematic roles. On the surface, both MianMian and SiSi appear to be plot devices as neither really has a character arc and yet both play important roles in two of the novel’s turning points: Wei WuXian, Jin ZiXuan, and Lan WangJi saving MianMian essentially kicks off the Sunshot Campaign, and SiSi and BiCao’s stories turn the tides against Jin GuangYao. But these characters have a lot of similarities, and these similarities reflect on their respective foilings with the main protagonist and final antagonist (Wei WuXian for MianMian and Jin GuangYao for SiSi). 

In the cave, MianMian is targeted by JiaoJiao purely because JiaoJiao is jealous. After she survives the attempt to tie her up and use her as bait, she is then captured and JiaoJiao tries to burn her face off. Wei WuXian intervenes, getting his flesh branded in the process. 

And what’s worth noting is that we see this precise situation later on through SiSi. A merchant’s wife was jealous and had her face cut seven or eight times, leaving her scarred and unable to work. 

What’s thematic about this is that it relates to what Wei WuXian observes: society is always going to find a villain.

Instead of JiaoJiao taking her anger out on Wen Chao, or the merchant’s wife on the merchant, they target the objects of their respective partners’ affections. (It’s also worth noting that JiaoJiao is actually a mistress anyways, not Wen Chao’s wife.) In these situations, MianMian and SiSi have considerably less power than JiaoJiao or the merchant’s wife; regarding MianMian, she’s noted to be “the daughter of a servant,” regarding SiSi, obviously, she was a prostitute and we’ve seen how society treats a well-known and educated prostitute like Meng Shi. We can only imagine how they’d treat SiSi. 

Along these lines, Wei WuXian empathizes with Jin GuangYao towards the end of the novel, and observes much the same:

These stories and rumors were indeed familiar. Wei WuXian recalled how back then countless people told stories of him kidnapping a thousand virgins to his demonic cave at Burial Mound, ravishing them day and night to cultivate the dark path. He found it somewhat funny, Fine. No matter what, the things they said about me were definitely better than what they’re saying about Jin GuangYao.

Jin GuangYao was not the villain society claims he is; he did not build a temple to himself as they observe, but for his mother: a scorned prostitute who lived a life of sacrifice to give him a chance:

As one sect leader saw the features of the Guanyin statue, he first paused in surprise, then pointed at it for others to see as though he found something new and interesting, “Look at its face! Doesn’t it look like Jin GuangYao?”

Everyone mused after they looked, “It’s his face indeed! Why would Jin GuangYao make such a thing?”

Sect Leader Yao, “To declare himself a god with wild arrogance, of course.”

“Arrogant indeed, then, hahaha.”

Wei WuXian thought to himself, No, not necessarily.

Jin GuangYao’s mother was seen as the lowest prostitutes, so he decided to carve a Guanyin statue with his mother’s appearance, receiving the worship of tens of thousands.

But there was no use in saying all that. Nobody knew with more clarity than Wei WuXian that nobody would care and nobody would believe him. Anything related to Jin GuangYao would be given the most malicious conjectures and passed through the mouths of the crowd.

And that’s another parallel between MianMian, Wei WuXian, SiSi, and to a lesser extent Jin GuangYao as well (I’ll get into where he differs later). MianMian, Wei WuXian, and SiSi will stand up for what they believe is right, for the people they care for, no matter who stands against them. MianMian narrowly avoided the social implications of getting her face ruined, as Wei WuXian observes:

Wei WuXian, “It’s not like I had any other choice, right?... MianMian is a girl, and quite a pretty girl, at that. If she was blind in an eye or such a thing gets onto her face, it wouldn’t be able to come off for the rest of her life. How bad would that be?”

Lan WangJi spoke in a thin voice, “The thing on your body right now will not be able to come off for the rest of your life either.”

Wei WuXian, “That’s different. It’s not on the face. And I’m a man—what am I scared of?”

These are implicitly gendered as well. Yet she chooses to throw her reputation away anyways to shame her sect for their treatment of Wei WuXian. Nie MingJue even observes "The woman has much more backbone than the mob of her sect” after they again judge her on the basis of her gender:

“There’s no need for me to say anything. You know, deep down, and we know too. You fell for him back in the cave of the Xuanwu just because he flirted with you? You’re still arguing for him, calling white black no matter how irrational it is. Ha, women will always be women.”

SiSi too stood up for Meng Shi when all the other prostitutes were badmouthing her, when she was humiliated, and challenged the men who were gawking at the humiliation:

[they were] chuckling as they told the story of the poor old woman to their clients just like AnXin did. Only one of the ladies squeezed through the doors. She took off the gauze robe that was so flimsy to begin with, revealing half of her full, snowy breasts enwrapped by a crimson slip, her waist was exceptionally thin as well. She was more than eye-catching and everyone hurried to take a look at her.

The lady spat, cursing, “Keep on looking, you bastards! Do you have the right to look at someone like me? With each look you gotta pay—where’s the money?! Come, where’s the money?!”

As she cursed, she reached out and asked the bystanders for money. The crowd dispersed somewhat, and she threw the robe she took off onto the woman, the two of them staggering into the main hall...

She challenges society thereby, pointing out that if they’re going to gawk at a woman’s fate, they might as well pay up, because they’re the ones who employ the women in the brothel, they’re the reason they resort to this fate. Society is to be blamed more than anything or anyone else. 

But their fates differ. MianMian is able to marry a man who supports her in night hunts despite her lack of sect belonging; she finds belonging and happiness outside society (which is a theme). 

Luo QingYang gazed at her husband, smiling, “My husband isn’t of the cultivating world. He used to be a merchant. But, he’s willing to go night-hunting with me…”

It was both rare and admirable that an ordinary person, and a man at that, would be willing to give up his originally stable life and dare travel the world with his wife, unafraid of danger and wander. Wei WuXian couldn’t help feeling respect for him.

We’re not given a clear answer to SiSi’s fate, and I’m not going to assume it’s negative, but it’s worth noting that SiSi is literally saved by and yet locked up by Jin GuangYao, which is symbolic of both Jin GuangYao’s choices and how society treats women like her: they are forever categorized by a life they quite possibly didn’t choose. Their scars repulse people. 

The woman spoke with no shame in her voice, not at all trying to beat around the bush. Many of the female cultivators covered their lips with their sleeves, while the men frowned. Sisi, “After my face became like this, my days were different from before. Nobody wanted to spare me a single glance, let alone do my business. My original brothel kicked me out. I didn’t know how to do anything else, but I couldn’t take in any business at all, so I joined up with the older sisters. Their customers didn’t have high demands. If a job is up, I’d tag along with them. I could manage with my face covered up.”

At this point, some of the people couldn’t take it any longer. They let the contempt in their eyes pour out without any intent to cover it.

But Jin GuangYao, to whatever extent it matters--and Wei WuXian remarks that he thinks it does matter--saved Sisi even though he had to know not killing her would likely come back to bite him. He doesn’t stand up for people against society, but he does surreptitiously find ways to protect those who were kind to him.  

“Speaking of it, that SiSi used to be quite the well-known prostitute back in the days. With how old she is, I couldn’t even recognize her. What a fucking hag. It was quite the torturous death for Jin GuangShan too, hahahahaha…”

“Props to Jin GuangYao for thinking of such a way to kill his dad. A perfect match. Absolutely perfect!”

“It’s quite a mystery—why didn’t Jin GuangYao kill that old prostitute? Witnesses should be silenced. Is he an idiot?”

“Why should he be an idiot? He’s the seed of Jin GuangShan, after all. Maybe he’s a lover of affairs too. Maybe he’s got special tastes and has… haha, an unspeakable relationship with SiSi?”

“Hah, I think so too, but don’t the stories say? Because he engaged in incest with his sister-by-blood, Jin GuangYao was so shocked he somehow fell ill in an unspeakable way, so even if he wanted to, he couldn’t, hahaha…

This is exactly what doomed Jin GuangYao insofar as his choices are concerned: he both hated society that treated his mother terribly, knew it left him with little choice, and yet still chose to be a part of it. He chose to keep himself locked up instead of seeking a more meaningful life outside of society’s approval. 

The symbolism of SiSi being locked up for so long is what happens to Jin GuangYao as well. We see both him and Wei WuXian categorized by their parents: Wei WuXian is disparaged as a “son of a servant” and Jin GuangYao as the “son of a whore.” 

Wei WuXian, however, was given a chance, a chance that enables him to save MianMian from being forever categorized by her scars: he was found on the streets by Jiang FengMian. However horrible Madame Yu was to him (and she was), however he was rumored to be the illegitimate son of Jiang FengMian (which while it’s unlikely, the novel never directly gives an answer to), he had support and love growing up. He had cultivation taught to him, and he thinks this:

if Jiang FengMiang hadn’t take him back to Lotus Pier, perhaps he wouldn’t cross paths with cultivation his whole life. Then he would have never known that such a magnificent path existed in this world. He’d only be a head beggar who roamed the streets, fleeing at first sight of a dog, or maybe looking after cows and stealing other people’s crops in the countryside, playing his flute to pass his time. He wouldn’t have known to cultivate, and he definitely wouldn’t have had the chance to form a core. With such thoughts, he’d felt much better.

Take it as repayment, or take it as redemption. Take it as he’d never received the golden core to begin with.

Jin GuangYao did not have this. He grew up as a poor child in YunMeng just like Wei WuXian, but no one stood up for him save his mother and SiSi. When he found his way to his father’s house, as the actual illegitimate son, Jin GuangShan had him kicked down the stairs of Koi Tower instead of welcoming him. Madame Jin abused him physically as well as emotionally (Madame Yu’s, to our knowledge, was primarily verbal/emotional):

Blood streamed down from [Jin GuangYao’s] forehead, but aside from the wound from the fall, there was also an old wound from before, wrapped in bandages. It had been hidden only because he was wearing the black gauze cap. Now, both wounds gaped open...

Lan XiChen walked as he spoke, “Brother, I am afraid that you do not know. Our third brother really is in a terrible situation as of the moment... His mother never liked him to begin with. After ZiXuan-xiong passed away, she often hit him and scolded him.

Wei WuXian never fully fit in with society, and no one tried to integrate Jin GuangYao with it without removing the labels and boxes they put him in . He only achieved a place in society via lies and deception that just turned out to be another box, leaving him to be trapped in a literal locked coffin for at least a hundred years. He’s fully responsible for his choices that led to his tragedy, but it’s foolish to say that his circumstances did not contribute to them as well; take Wei WuXian’s word for it, not mine. Society is a monstrous, toxic creation in MDZS, and Jin GuangYao’s focus on its approval instead of on the people who loved him’s approval (Lan XiChen, even Nie MingJue) led to him doing monstrous things to vulnerable people who had no choice in their circumstances either (namely, A-Song and SiSi’s shunned prostitute friends). 

It’s still remarkable to me how often I see takes arguing that Jin GuangYao=bad and Wei WuXian=good, when, while everyone’s entitled to their opinion, the story’s themes directly contradict this. Both of them messed up, and Wei WuXian made better choices than Jin GuangYao did ultimately. However, Wei WuXian also was had support from a young age in ways Jin GuangYao never did, and the novel goes out of its way to point this out. It’s hard for servants, prostitutes, the disabled (Xiao XingChen), the disfigured, women, to find a place in a society that scorns them. It’s directly criticizing privilege beyond sociopolitical boundaries and points to the privilege in people’s experiences as well, emphasizing the importance of empathy in solving problems. 

Wei WuXian is warned numerous times that empathy is dangerous, yet he uses it more than once in the novel. Jin GuangYao asked Nie MingJue for empathy several times, and was rebuffed (though Lan XiChen did give him empathy to an extent... but there’s more to that which is a topic for another meta). Ironically, the one who empathizes with Jin GuangYao in the end, who understands him most, is Wei WuXian, because they were not that different in the end. 

[salvatoreschool]

‘Legacies’ season 2 spring finale review: Evil is only as powerful as you let it be

For an impromptu end, the Legacies season 2 spring finale was one hell of an episode. Congrats to the whole Legacies team for letting us end season 2 (for now) in such epic style!

So, last episode ended with Hope asleep (and in Josie’s mind), Landon dead, Raf zombified, Lizzie pretending to be dead, and the rest doing their best to play up Lizzie’s death so Darth Josie wouldn’t catch on to their plan.

That’s a hell of a lot to try and wrap up in one episode, but I was SERIOUSLY impressed with how well this episode worked as a finale. I mean, yes, of course I’m desperate to know why Hope is still seemingly stuck in Josie’s mind, and why Landon hasn’t woken up if the Necromancer did his part. But I’m also really glad that we have some threads left open ended to pull on this summer while we wait for news regarding when it will be safe for the Legacies cast and crew to return to set. I’m sure they’re as eager to film those last four episodes (including that confirmed musical ep!) as we are to see them, but first and foremost, it must be safe for them to return.

That all said, here’s my full review of all the craziest bits of the Legacies season 2 spring finale:

Of course Josie’s subconscious is a fairytale world

I mean, we knew it from the previews already, but it makes a lot of sense. And I hope that now that she’s rewriting the story, her subconscious world will morph and change to fit the woman who dreamed it up.

If we ever end up in Josie’s subconscious again, I hope we find it a different sort of fairytale kingdom. One where the princess is a little more fierce and badass, while still maintaining that sense of goodness, with the same kind heart and good humor.

Dark Josie reigns supreme

I’m thinking in the hierarchy of villains, she’s somewhere underneath Malivore, and probably Kai, too, but definitely higher than Clark or the Necromancer or pretty much any of the singular monsters from last season. For some reason, that black magic energy is just so much more powerful than almost anything else we’ve seen on Legacies so far.

There are a couple TVD era villains I can think of (the Mikaelsons anyone?) that would give her a run for her money, but she’s gonna rank pretty high on the Legacies villain list for a long time.

Hope is Lizzie and Lizzie is Hope

I gotta say, Danielle Rose Russell does a mean Lizzie Saltzman. I bought it hook, line, and sinker. It must have been a lot of fun for Danielle to get to do something a little different for a change than more of Hope’s tortured hero drama. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love me some Hope-saved-the-world-and-all-she-got-for-her-trouble-was-this-black-puddle-of-goo drama, but it was nice to see one of the show’s strongest actors get to flex a different muscle for a bit in the Legacies season 2 spring finale.

So, what exactly happened to Landon?

Last episode he was stabbed by Raf with the golden arrow. I really believed that when they pulled it out, he would start his resurrection cycle again, but no such luck. Raf is holding the arrow when he brings Dr. Saltzman down to take a look, and at no point in the course of this episode did it appear that Landon was even thinking of bursting into phoenix-y flames.

So, is Landon dead? Or just stuck like it seems Hope probably is at the end of the episode? Well, we have a bit of a wait til we find out, but let the conjecture begin!

No nonconsensual kissing for these fairy tale ladies

I know, I know. When we start thinking in fairy tale tropes, it’s easy to start believing in true love’s kiss, but I actually really like the stand the writers took in this episode. You have to be the change you want to see in the world, and, in order to re-write tropes like those of Snow White and Prince Charming, you have to start somewhere. Why not our little supernatural show about witches, vampires, wolves, and the menagerie of monsters they had no idea they were sharing a world with.

Little Red Riding Witch vs. the Big Bad Wolf Queen

I find it interesting that Hope was able to fend off the darkness pretty well until it took Josie form. Is Hope just reluctant to hurt someone who looks like Josie, even if she is in her evil form? I think that may have been part of the case, here. Plus, it’s nice to know that Josie had the power to tame her darkest impulses all on her own.

Lizzie’s gets a major dose of truth

It’s really unfortunate that everyone has fallen into this ‘Lizzie is terrible’ schtick, but it was probably good for her to hear. Lizzie is so self-assured in her popularity that she doesn’t see the forest for the trees. She can think of how each and every person treats her in one on one situations and such, but she doesn’t take a look at the big picture very often. I’m sure even Lizzie would have noticed that the other students more fear her than love her.

But at the same time, Lizzie’s bravado is a delicate facade. Just underneath that thin, flimsy coating of “thick skin” she pretends to have, is a girl who just wants to be liked. She just wants to know that when she sacrifices herself to save her school and her sister, that someone will have nice things to say about her and a few nice memories to carry her on with.

Jed and Kaleb’s riff off

This whole Jed and Kaleb competition for Alyssa Chang’s affection is kind of hilarious. Them having a riff off full of skilled (and some rawer talent) runs in the middle of Lizzie’s fake funeral was adorable. I mean, that was a terrible memorial, but at least it helped dissolve a little of the tension already ramping up in this episode.

Oh, and if their bonding over Alyssa’s flaws means a new bromance is born, I am SO here for that, too.

A deal with the devil… adjacent

In order to save Josie from the black magic churning through her cells, Alaric had to make a deal with the Necromancer. Since our zombie-creator found himself powerless against the powers of Lord Josiemort, he knew there was only one way to get her out of his life and himself back in the driver’s seat. Returning Raf and Alyssa to actual life and (supposedly) reviving Landon was just a trade off. The real choice was between giving all Josie’s black magic to the Necromancer and giving him a supercharge of his power or letting her fall deeper and deeper into the evil coursing through her veins.

The unbreakable covenant spell

Eerily reminiscent of the Unbreakable Vow from Harry Potter, the Necromancer agrees to be bound by their deal. In order to assure Alaric that he would hold up his end of the deal, the Necromancer breaks out the Unbreakable Covenant Spell, which would require each party to hold up their entire end of the deal to reap the benefits. This is why I’m sure beyond sureness that whatever’s keeping Hope asleep is affecting Landon, too… somehow.

Enter M.G. and his unique ability to speak Lizzie

Only someone who truly knows Lizzie down to her soul could have turned an entire room of people laughing at her into a crowd that remembers their friend fondly. I would have loved to hear more of their remembrances of the nice things that Lizzie did for them. For every wild, crazy thing she’s done, there’s something downright sweet to balance the scale.

It shows how much M.G. really truly cares for Lizzie. It’s not just a crush or some teen hormonal thing. He loves that girl. He knows her down to her marrow. And every wonderful thing he does for her brings her closer and closer to seeing how incredible his belief in her is. And only someone who believes in the good in her is going to be able to win her heart. I can’t wait to see her crush on him next season. It’s coming, I can feel it.

The actual fairy tale narrative

First of all, Evil Queen Josie’s armor outfit was STUNNING. So freaking gorgeous, even in all black.

I love that, in the end, Josie and Lizzie were both so afraid to hurt each other that they found themselves second class citizens in their own lives. Last episode, Lizzie had to choose herself in order to even have a chance to beat Josie in the Merge. In the Legacies season 2 spring finale, Josie has to set aside her fears of being powerful enough to beat Lizzie in order to push Dark Josie out of power.

Josie takes a break?

Toting all that power around for so long seems to have worn Josie out a bit. It might be a good thing for her to take a step back from her power for a bit. I’m interested to know what might be important enough for her to restore her magic. Who will have to be in life threatening peril for her to jump back into the fray?

They like me! They really like me!

Lizzie’s look of incredulity when the other witches who spent most of the day badmouthing her showed up at the lakeside to celebrate her life.

Thank you, ‘Legacies’ writers, for bringing Raf and Alyssa back to the land of the living

Poor Rafael has been through enough. He’s had the shit end of the stick so far this season, so I hope that now that his heart is beating again, he can have something go his way for once. Landon coming back would be a start, but something else would be nice, too. Maybe a nice new romance or bromance? Raf needs more people in his life than just the two people who love him the most, and bring him the most pain, too.

So, did Alaric and the Necromancer go through with their Unbreakable Covenant?

If they cast that spell over their deal, then the Necromancer HAS restored Landon and his perma-sleep is being caused by something else. OR, and there’s a decent chance of this, the Necromancer uses a loophole of never declaring WHEN he would restore Landon to his body, and the Necromancer is delaying raising Landon until the opportune moment, which will undoubtedly involve Malivore and probably Clark, too.

What did you think of the ‘Legacies’ season 2 spring finale?

[wclfgurl]

& .   ✧   ›   MEETING ARYA !

✦ ▓ AND WHO GOES THERE? oh, it’s just [ ARYA STARK ]. some say [ HER ] resemblance to [ MADISON BAILEY ] is almost uncanny, but the [ TWENTY-THREE ] year old has been in the capital for [ TWO YEARS ]. many suspect that they are the notorious [ CORPORAL ] of the [ STARK ] family: perhaps that has made them [ DISCOURTEOUS ] && [ IMPUDENT ] of late, when they used to be so [ BRAZEN ] && [ ASTUTE ]. during the daylight hours, [ ARYA ] can be found working as a [ UNI STUDENT ], but when night falls over king’s landing, they are best remembered listening to [ RUN BOY RUN BY WOODKID ]. may the gods be with them in these dark streets. ( attina. 24. cst. she/her. )

hey there demons, it’s me. ya boi ! i’m attina and i’m here to create chaos. please slap a like on this if you want to plot and i’ll come at you. there are a bunch of wanted connections listed at the end so if any of them seem to scream at you, please feel free to yell at me ! my discord is ty lee#5523 so feel free to use that for plotting if you wish ! full disclosure, i don’t remember shite about game of thrones and never finished the season finale nor read the books but i’m here to vibe anyways !

& .   ✧   ›  I. THE BASICS !

full name › arya stark.

nickname(s) › arry, no-name, dead girl, horseface, wolf girl.

age › twenty-three ( 23 ).

d.o.b. › december 12, 1997.

gender › cis-female.

pronouns › she/her.

allegiance › the starks.

occupation › university student ( undetermined degree ). 

current location › king’s landing.

& .   ✧   ›  II. THE BIOGRAPHY !

your mother was once so excited when a little girl joined the family once more. thrilled to have another to dress in all pink, teach the ways of a lady, and become one more little her. too bad the child would have other plans. you were never meant to be the prim and proper lady that your mother expected. not when running around wolves was far more exciting. you didn’t have time for the lessons your mother tried to bestrode onto you, disinterested in spending hours with some yarn. you rather use the needle for something that your mother strongly disapproves of. that’s what really gets you going; doing things your mother states to be vile. 

the years growing up weren’t without bruises and stains. you have scars filled with stories that you tell with a wide grin on your face. proof that you are the one still standing and whatever --- or whoever --- gave them to you succumbed to your victory. you have spent plenty of time in the principals office for fights that you never started but certainly ended. you don’t mind the bruised knuckles the battles gave you. it was completely worth the look on their faces when you took them down.

when you were a teenager, rebellion was in your blood. you did what it took to defy the law. breaking and entering abandoned buildings were a good after school activity for you, running from the police was just a nice jog in the middle of the night. you kept a kill list for everyone that has done you wrong --- most of the names on there were for petty reasons but not billy. you still fucking hate billy. you still have that kill list, though more prominent names are on there now. ones that have harmed your family in one way or another. that’s one thing you don’t fuck around with and that’s family. 

it doesn’t matter how much you felt like an outsider with your siblings; they are still your blood. your loyalty lies with your family and if anyone messes with them, they are immediately pissing you off. the only one allowed to mess with your siblings, including sansa, is you and you’re not afraid to make that known. you will fight tooth and nail for any member of your family, including those loyal to your family. that is, until you prove to be a traitor. that’s one way to get their name written on your list.

despite the loyalty you have for the starks, it didn’t stop you from disappearing two years ago. you told a few people but really, you just had a desire to see a part of the world. just for a year. call it a break from university if you will. studying abroad, if that helps your mother sleep at night. you came back as per agreement with your father and yet, you still wish to be gone. there was so much more that you haven’t seen and the classes that you’re taking are just dull in comparison. is it too much to wish for a different path for yourself?

but that’s something you never dare say. instead you keep your hit list close to your heart in case an opportunity presents itself and you continue doing what you want when you want it. that includes any duties you’re given. you do as you please, speak your mind to whomever, and post tiktoks for the hell of it. 

& .   ✧   ›  III. THE FACTS !

yeah that’s right, arya stark is a tiktoker. honestly fight me? she’s a gen x’er what do you expect? her tik toks are probably one way that her family realizes she was still alive during that year of traveling. is she a famous tiktoker or whatever you call them? hell yeah and you can quote me on that.

her weapon of choice is a small rapier nicknamed needle gifted to her by jon snow.

she has no idea what to study in uni and none of it really appeals to her? she finds it all boring. which is probably why she’s often skipping classes, turning assignments in late, or plain not doing a thing in that class. definitely an argument she has with her mother every day is about uni. 

arya joined the organisation as a corporal as a request from her father, utilizing her skills, and a big f-- u to her mother. because honestly isn’t that what life is all about? 

she has a siberian husky named nymeria ofc.

rebel for rebel’s sake; she’s definitely spray painted buildings before. probably has been arrested as a minor. it’s fine though. everythinG’S FINE.

personality wise; arya is loud and proud. she’s never one to stray from speaking her mind despite the turmoil it may cause. think the girl cares if she hurts your feelings?? probably not but maybe a little and only if you actually cared about what she thought. listen, it’s complicated and so is she. she doesn’t believe in happy ever afters but looks more realistically, and potentially more emotionally as she doesn’t mind keeping a grudge and doing things that would end a grudge in a not forgiving way (murdah is fun)! she thrives on making her ancestors ( mother & sister ) disappointed in her but also it hurts when they are? its fine, she’ll worry about those complicated emotions later. 

& .   ✧   ›  IV. THE CONNECTIONS !

what the fuck is up kyle › negative; their paths have crossed once or twice before and each meeting has never been a pleasant one. arya doesn’t try to hide their displeasure when face to face whether it’s public or private. there is a solid chance that they are on her hit list for a petty reason.  i’m in my mum’s car. broom broom › positive; listen, arya isn’t heartless idk what made you think that. she has a heart, she just doesn’t know how to express emotions and rather vanish for a year than face people again. but listen, this character is someone who has seemed to break through her shell. whether or not that’s a good thing is up for debate. wtf, is this allowed? is this allowed? › romantic; romance isn’t something that arya daydreams about but man, she fell and she fell hard. they were just meant to be a nice distraction but here she is, acting like something that she’s not. first loves are a scary thing and she would much rather just pretend that they are just for fun. i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me › negative; political parties aren’t something that arya cares too much about, but she does give a damn if someone hates her family for whatever reason that is. it doesn’t matter that they are on opposite sides, what matters is your mom’s a ho. but in all seriousness, prepare for some stink eye and arya badmouthing them. zach stop! you’re gonna get in trouble › positive; listen. even arya needs someone that she might be a good influence towards. the one person who is like hmmmm, maybe not a good idea right now. however, they are still creating havoc together for the vine ( rip vine ) tiktok.  stahp! i coulda dropped my croissant › romantic; distractions and fun times and maybe doing things that you’re mother doesn’t approve of, that’s the arya way! and this one really is just a booty call. it doesn’t matter what side they may support, that’s not what they are talking about, if they are even speaking, when they’re meeting up.

[thedyingmoon]

💜 This I Promise 💜

***

XLII. Honestly

***

Elvis Shunerman waited for the door to open, patiently, yet nervously carrying the fruits basket for (F/N).

He was very anxious because of what happened the other day that he finally decided to visit her, despite knowing the fact that the Dawk family might hate him for starting that stupid race with Erwin.

Still, he waited for that large wooden door to open.

And when it did, he was greeted by none other than Rosemarie Dawk, herself.

At first she was frowning, clearly not amazed and unhappy by his very sudden visit. But, the moment he announced his intentions of visiting (F/N), she sighed, shrugged her pretty head, and finally let him enter.

"Miss Dawk?" he began. Rosemarie just stopped walking, but didn't look at him. "Has,... has Commander Smith visited, yet?"

"Yes. Just yesterday."

Yes. Of course, he would.

"Who was it, dear?" Marie, who just came from the kitchen, said, and was surprised to see Elvis in the entryway.

"Madam," Elvis uttered and gave a slight bow, not once forgetting his current role as honorary noble.

Marie nodded, acknowledging his presence. "I assume you're here to visit her."

Elvis' eyes slightly widened, then immediately went back to normal. He just nodded in response.

"Well, then. This way, my Lord." Marie said, gesturing to him to come with her towards the living quarters in the second floor, leaving Rosemarie behind.

The way towards (F/N)'s room was very awkward. Elvis suddenly remembered Jacqueline's advice to be more sociable towards other people, so he mustered all his courage to start a conversation with the older, yet, stunning woman.

"H-how is she, madam?" he stuttered, uncertain whether he was doing good on the conversation or not.

"She's doing good. Well, she still has a fever, as of the moment." Marie announced, not once looking at him as she treaded on the wide stairs of the mansion.

"Fever?!" he exclaimed, the slightly high pitch of his surprised voice purely unintentional and unheard of.

But, Marie, staying calm as always, just gave him a slight glance.

"Yes. She's sleeping. But, I guess it won't hurt to see her without waking her up."

Elvis gave a relieved sigh. "Thank you, madam."

The two of them turned to the right and stopped on the second door.

"This is her room." She said, about to open the door,...

... when she suddenly took Elvis' arm and led him to another room to the left.

"Madam?!" Elvis retorted, clearly surprised and worried of the married woman's sudden, unwifely action.

Marie just ignored him and opened the door, hastily shoving Elvis inside then entering afterwards.

Elvis looked around the room and realized, to his vast relief, that it was not the master's bedroom, but an empty nursery that was, once, occupied by all three of Marie's children. He was also relieved that the fruits from the basket he was holding did not come tumbling down on his feet with the sudden movement. He turned behind him, facing the woman who brought him there.

Marie didn't say anything. Instead, she just went closer, and closer to him. Elvis took little steps further away from her, beginning to get scared of the woman.

"M-madam?" Elvis stuttered once more, deciding whether to knock the woman unconscious or not.

She stopped going towards him and sighed.

"Please, Mr. Levi. Stop pretending and just reveal yourself." She said dejectedly.

Levi's eyes widened until his pupils dwarfed in comparison to his sclera. It took him a while to process what Marie just said, and when it finally hit him like a bullet straight to the head, he sighed heavily, brought the fruits basket down on a nearby table that was ridiculously ornamented with Ivanna's colorful doodles, and carefully removed his blonde wig, revealing his raven - colored hair, confirming Marie's words.

Levi placed his wig down beside the basket and faced Marie.

She just smiled at him, throwing him off - guard.

"Does Nile know?" Levi asked her.

"No."

"How,... did you find out?"

"Instinct." Marie said, smiling at him, and gesturing at the nearest chair beside the table. "I just want to have a word. Please, have a seat."

Levi did so. Marie situated herself on the opposite chair, placed her hands primly on her lap, and faced Levi once more.

"I'm sure you have questions. Fire away." She offered.

Levi gasped, unable to control his emotions any further.

"Why did you agree with this?" he said to her in a pleadingly, heart - wrenching way. "Why?"

Marie's smile vanished to be replaced with the most regretful frown he had ever seen.

"I agreed because Erwin's intentions towards her seemed to be honest enough. He wants to marry her and give her the best of everything he could offer her. He wants her to be happy."

"And you agreed by altering her identity and taking advantage of her condition?!" Levi was actually on the verge of tears. A phenomenon that was rarely seen by anyone, let alone a woman he barely even knew of. "Is that it?!"

"No! That is not my intention." Marie sincerely felt the pain in Levi's heart, seeing that he truly loved (F/N). "Please, do not assume that I' am badmouthing Erwin. He wants her to forget her feelings for you, by making her fall in love with him. And now with her memories gone with a slight chance of returning, it seems that he has the upper hand. But, that is not working, isn't it?"

Levi remained silent, unable to deny her assumption.

"Are you doing this because you felt sorry for him?" Levi asked, knowing very well what he was talking about.

Marie seemed to fidget on her seat, looking uncomfortable with what he said.

"Marie, what is the story you heard from him about us? About (F/N) and me?"

The blonde looked at him, her resolve not breaking even a bit, despite her tears on the verge of falling.

"You've hurt her and caused her a lot of suffering. She got involved with an accident by saving you, and it nearly killed her."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "And what is this accident?"

"I,... don't know." Marie whispered. "I'm telling the truth."

He observed her for a bit, searching for any sign that could tell him that she's just lying. But, there was none.

Of course, with the cult - related killings, Erwin wouldn't want her to know. He wouldn't want her family, or just her, alone, to get involved with the mess.

Wait -

"So, is it,..." he hesitated, but finally decided to let it out, since his whole disguise was blown by her, anyway. "... is it Erwin's plan to fill the hole you made in his heart by bringing (F/N) to his own life?"

Marie was startled at what she just heard from him.

"What?! No! No,..." if Marie wasn't lying a while ago, she definitely looked lying right now.

"You said it. You told me that he seemed honest with his intentions towards (F/N). Was it because of that?" Levi said, cornering Marie with her own words.

Finally, tears came falling down her face.

"You love her, don't you?" she suddenly said to him. "Prove it. Win her. Win (F/N) back. It doesn't matter what Erwin would think after this. This is all a lie. You must atone whatever sin you did to her. You must get her memories back. You must get her back!"

"Y-yes." Levi agreed, not sure how to exactly respond to her request.

"Promise me!" Marie sure was acting like (F/N)'s mother, or aunt, in this case.

"I promise." Levi gave his solemn oath.

I promise I will before Erwin wreaks havoc here in Wall Sina by revealing the nature of the true murderers.

That was what he really wanted to say, but couldn't. He doesn't want the people who took care of (F/N) to get involved with it. They're good people who took her under their wing without even knowing how dangerous it was to even talk to (F/N).

"And we'll do anything to take her away from here. Hange and I, I mean."

"Oh. Jacqueline, was it?" Marie's smile was back upon hearing Levi's honest response.

He nodded and stood, picking his wig and carefully putting it back on top of his head.

"When did you realize?"

"When you and Erwin raced."

"Oh."

"Where's Hange? I mean, Jacqueline?"

"She went back to the Legion to take care of something." Marie said, also standing up. She was about to open the door when she found out that it was already ajar.

Was it open before? Thought Marie, pushing it on the back of her mind as she accompanied Elvis back to (F/N)'s room.

Levi, on the other hand, was glad that he had gained her trust.

Other than that, he was so worried of (F/N),...

Marie, thinking what he was exactly thinking, allowed him to have privacy with her.

Even for just an hour,...

***

Rosemarie was startled when her little sister Ivanna suddenly invaded her room.

"Go play in your room." She said without looking up from the paper she's examining.

Ivanna ignored her and just stared at her. Rosemarie felt the eyes of the child boring into her like a drill. She put down her paper for a while to look at the girl.

"What is it?"

The little girl put her doll down and went to her elder sister. Rosemarie, anticipating what her sister was about to say, leaned towards her,...

... only for her hair to be pulled painfully by the mischievous child.

"Ouch!" Rosemarie pulled her hair away from the little one's tight grasp. "What the heck was that for? That is not very funny!"

Unfortunately, Ivanna doesn't look like she was making fun of her.

In fact, she remained to stare at her,...

... with that very serious look on her face.

"Okay, tell me what just happened to you." Rosemarie told her, crossing her arms and trying to understand the child.

Ivanna just shrugged her shoulders and went back to the floor to play with her dolly.

"Mister Shining Man pulled his hair." She simply said.

Wait,...

What?!

"What do you mean by that, Ivanna?"

Ivanna started combing the hopelessly tangled hair of her play thing. "Mister Shining Man pulled his hair! And there's another hair, but not yellow! It's black!" the little girl looked back at her elder sister. "Why can't you do the same?"

What in the world - ? Rosemarie thought.

Elvis Shunerman,...

... was wearing a wig?!

That would only mean one thing,...

.... That he's not really Elvis Shunerman!

***

Levi looked up from the document he was working on in time to see the new recruit Petra Ral closing the door of his office.

The girl seemed surprise with the look he gave her that she almost dropped the teacup she's holding.

"Careful, Cadette." He said to her.

Petra apologized and giggled like a giddy school - girl.

Levi smiled. It's not like everyday he sees girls like her,...

... knowing the fact that most of the young recruits die on their first expeditions.

"I brought you tea, Captain Levi." She announced while saluting him.

He nodded and just gestured for her to put the tea on his desk. The girl did as she was ordered.

It was then that he realized something upon observing the girl. That ginger - head -

It really was her!

"Wait, were you the one who assisted the Elites during the last expedition?" he carefully asked her, trying very hard not to intimidate her.

Petra's eyes widened, looking as if she wasn't really expecting him to notice, at all.

"Yes, Captain Levi." She said to him.

Slowly, but surely, he cracked a simple smile for her, which made her heart lurch in all directions with total bliss.

"Good job, Cadette." He told her. "See you on combat training tomorrow."

Petra saluted once more, a big smile plastered on her face.

"Yes, sir! Gladly!"

It wasn't the only time they met. They met many more times after that combat training. Soon after, they started eating together, working together, and training together.

For the both of them, it was the start of a blooming, personal relationship between them.

It had been one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made.

For it was because of it that the real person who loved him got hurt.

If he could blame anyone for her memory loss,...

... it would be him,...

... and only him.

***

~ @levi4mikasa , @yepps , @nerdyphantomlady , @shewolfofficial , @unhappysap , @super-peace-fangirl , @fangurl-ontgeside , and @emilyackerman78 . 💜

***

💜💜💜

***

[clarkgriffon]

The 100 Ask Game

I was tagged by @foreverandalwayscrysis​ @loveisalwayswise​ @hostagetakerandhistraitor​ @talistheintrovert​ aka four of my true loves

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from? Alpha because I’m a fancy bitch

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark? God... probably something dumb. Maybe stealing food? But not out of desperation, because I wanted like lemon cake or some dumb shit.

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground? No chance. I’m a rule follower through and through.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..) A zebra

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be? Wells BABEY.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? Clarke, Bellamy, Monty, Harper, and Miller.

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to? Maybe Trishanakru. A humble farmer.

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? uhhh... i don’t know. Mira doesn’t really have any way to clip it to sound more grounder-y. So probably just Mira.

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious. I don’t like Finn as a dude, but I controversially enjoyed the writing of his character in season 1. He’s such a dick, but he’s a well-written dick. Like, we ALL know that guy, and they really hit the nail on the head of “guy who THINKS he’s the nice guy.” I think they botched his character in S2 and completely went sideways with it (much like Zeke in 6x01).

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? Probably... pretty willing. Putting myself in the position of a character on the show, knowing something could take away my pain, yeah, I’d be tempted. As a person with multiple mental illnesses, the allure of a magical solution to all pain and misery sounds nice.

11. What character do you relate to most? Clarke, no doubt. I see so many similarities to myself in her.

12. What character do you like the least? In terms of well written villains, where I hate them but it’s because they wrote them so well I had to hate them, Pike. In terms of characters I just dislike because they suck, E/cho.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical) Leggings, athletic shoes, black tank top, maybe a jean jacket like Harper’s in S5.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal? Like... in the show? We didn’t really see that many. Just the sea monster, the worms, the random gorilla, and the deer. So, I guess the deer.

15. What would your job be on the Ark? Maybe a teacher like Pike but not evil.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked? No, I’m so squeamish.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive, then who would have made the best commander? Probably Indra.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty? Who knows, I’d be tripping, but hopefully I’d get some awesome lines like “anti-grounder stick” and “the most beautiful broom.”

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach? I don’t think I’d be in a leadership position to make the choice, but I don’t believe in the death penalty so probably more like Bellamy. 

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone? I guess it depends at what time. Abby in season 1 made sense. OH. Sinclair. Sinclair should’ve been the Chancellor.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis? Kane. I so would’ve joined Harper/Miller/Kane’s Rebel Squad.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s iPod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there? Probably the iPod, or any sort of game that could be a time-passer.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? No tattoos, but heavy eyeliner (not Lexa level, but a heavy blake eye shadow and black wing). Probably just hair down for my grounder!look. If it was an Ark look, I’d do half-up half-down like Clarke in S1.

24. Favorite quote? God, I can’t choose. “I bear it so they don’t have to,” “May we meet again,” “Be the good guys,” “It’s an anti-grounder stick,” among many.

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? I think Lincoln has a really good shot. People like Roan, Lexa, and Luna would be careers. But I feel like Lincoln would be a random middle-tier district and then be an under-the-radar threat till he won.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non-canon ship?

Least favorite: B/echo

Favorite canon ship: Marper

Favorite non-canon: Bellarke

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo? I’m a huge Kesha fan, so a Kesha song would be nice. Also, I feel like “New Religion” by Alice Smith gives me HUGE S6 vibes and I’ve never been able to pinpoint why. As for a guest star, maybe an actor/singer double threat like Selena Gomez or Hilary Duff.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time? Chill, not watch the video over and over again like Murphy. Maybe try to learn chess? There was a chess table, right? It had amenities, so I’d probably just lounge.

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die? I’m a random delinquent running around like Roma or Monroe and the grounders spear me. I’m mentioned once when Clarke asks Bellamy, “Where’s Mira?” and he just shakes his head because I’m dead. Never again mentioned.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of? I desperately want Jordan flashbacks to see how his life was growing up with Harper and Monty. Speaking of Harper, I want to know EVERYTHING about Harper’s life even though I know we never will :(

31. A character you’d bang? Clarke, Bellamy, Harper.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden? Live in Eden, no doubt. That’s definitely the most bearable option. 

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground? I probably would’ve had to? Dissenting would’ve gotten me thrown in the pit.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits? Badmouthing Blodreina and getting caught and reported.

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with? Monty and Harper would be my best friends, I don’t think I’d even speak to E/cho.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself? Two weeks. Maybe a month.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do? Run. Like. Hell.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite? Diyoza... is there any other answer?

39. Would you Spacewalk? Hell yeah, I’d Emori the heck out of it.

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat? Algae. Whoever picks meat, I’m judging you.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it? No, because as Clarke and Monty said many times, that’s a dumb fucking idea!! I’d make... peace... Find a compromise.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes? Can I pick none? I guess the worms because at least them I’m helping someone.

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia? Is my sister a psycho murderer? If so, then yeah. 

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper? Cryo.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet? Clarke, Bellamy, and Miller.

I think most people have done this so I’ll just say, whoever hasn’t feel free to say I tagged you

[pabloimagines]

Title: PYT Pairing: Pablo x Reader Rating: PG-13, for language.  A/N: This is gonna be a 2-part fic, but I wanted to get at least a LITTLE something out there for you, nonny, so you didn’t think I’d ignored your request! Also, apparently short fics aren’t a reality where I write from. Also to anyone from West Bend, no disparagement of your town was meant in the production of this fic. Word Count: 2,114

Rural Iowa was about as far from Hollywood glamor as one could get, and West Bend made the distance all the more noticeable. Surrounded by farmland as far as the eye could see, it was a drive-thru town with one main road, bifurcated by the train tracks that cut diagonally across town. West Bend had four restaurants, and one barely counted as it pulled double duty as a general store. Not a McDonald’s for miles or any semblance of the green mermaid beloved by everyone and their mother in Los Angeles. It was, in many ways, a town stuck in simpler times, something which you had never enjoyed. It was the entire impetus for why, at 18, you’d moved first to New York, then Los Angeles in the pursuit of your dreams.

Fast forward, and now, after years of staying out of town and either skipping family holidays on account of work, or flying your immediate family out to LA’s sunny coasts, you had been backed into a corner based on one stupid family tradition. No matter who they were, or where they came from, any and all first serious significant others had to meet the family on home turf and the home of the person dating said significant other didn’t count. Only the old two-story farmhouse that had raised no less than four generations of farmers, truck drivers, and one accountant would do. You’d tried to argue your way out of it, citing the need to be in the city in case you needed to take a meeting about the new show you’d just been cast in, but your mother wasn’t having it. Either you came through with your man in tow for Christmas, or neither your mother or father would ever approve of the match, should your dating lead, as it tended to, to marriage.

While you loved your family, there were certain things you kept from them; Hollywood’s seedy underbelly and your many brushes with it, your instagram account, and, as of the last three years, your boyfriend. It wasn’t from shame, but rather the fear of your parents’ disapproval that kept you from sharing pictures, vacation photos, or even any identifying information. The one time he’d come up in conversation had been your mother mentioning how much she disliked a certain character he’d played in her favorite TV procedural.

“Boys like that aren’t right in the head, y/n. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must have taken for that man to become that...that monster!”

It was a gripe your mother shared with many of his fans, one that you saw nearly every time he put up a new picture on Instagram. I don’t know if I can like you, because of what you did on ___, but you’re hot in this! You’d seen it so often, you could honestly write an essay on the subject. But, you did your best to stay out of the comments, knowing reading them at best killed brain cells and at worst turned you into the next UFC fighter, ready to take on anyone who badmouthed him even the slightest bit.

While you’d originally planned to fly in together and rent a car to make the three hour drive from Minneapolis-Saint Paul International into West Bend, he’d been held up because of reshoots, leaving you to not only have to deal with your two  brothers in your dad’s cramped F-150 for three hours, but to now--two days later--have to sit and listen to your entire family gossip about the man who was due through the front door any minute.

“10 bucks says he has that really annoying California surfer accent.”

“$20 says he’s blonde. And probably shorter than you, Jacob.”

“$30 says he’s got a bunch of tattoos to freak out mom.”

“$40 says he’s shorter than, y/n. Most actors in Hollywood aren’t even average height! They just make them look taller in movies with camera angles and stuff.”

“100 bucks to shut you both up! Jeeze.” You huff, pulling out your wallet and snatching out the bill you’d meant to break at the airport but had forgotten to in your rush to catch your brothers before they hijacked your luggage.

Your older brother, Matt, snatches the bill out of your hands, folding it crisply before putting it in his pocket, one eyebrow raised. Though he’d officially turned 30 a month ago, he still acts 12, and there are days when you can’t decide who’s more childish; him or Jake.

“I should get a bigger cut, seeing as how you get paid above SAG rates now, sis,” he jokes, and you punch his arm before you can stop yourself, only setting off a peel of laughter from both him and your little brother, the two having far too much fun with the notion of you finally bringing someone home.

“Boys, leave your sister alone and go set the table. Y/n, I’m sure he’ll be perfectly lovely, no matter how many tattoos he has. Just so long as you don’t mar your pretty skin, then he can have all the tattoos in the world.” You close your eyes to keep from rolling them all the way back into your skull. Your mother means well, but she’s about as out of touch with the rest of the world as a person can be and her words backfire as they send your brothers into a barrage of silent mimicry, your frustration with them growing by the second.

“You boys listen to your mother, and make sure you wash your hands before you touch the plates. Save your energy in case we have to kick his ass to the curb for your sister.” Your father’s voice comes through the back door, and you relinquish all hope, letting your head fall into your hands even as he passes you, still smelling faintly of corn despite having showered, changed, and switched from his work boots to his house shoes.

“Dad, no one’s getting their asses kicked. Please be nice to him. He’s a good guy, I promise.” You mutter into your folded arms, refusing to lift your head from the nest you’d made between the kitchen counter and your forearms.

“I’ll be the judge of that, thank you v--” Your father’s interrupted by the doorbell ringing, and almost immediately, your mother turns down the volume on the Michael Jackson record she’d been playing non-stop since she started preparations on Christmas dinner. He’s her favorite artist to listen to, mainly because she can dance around between the stove, the counters, and the fridge as she cooks and on top of everything she knows all the lyrics from when she was younger.

Steeling yourself for your family’s reaction, you swivel on your stool and watch as your father squares up his shoulders and puffs out his chest, ready to intimidate the only man you know he doesn’t stand a chance of intimidating in the slightest. Your dad swings open the door like he’s Saint Peter and Heaven is full and you have to press your lips together to keep from outright laughing. Even from your vantage point, you can tell Pablo’s going to have to duck through the door to get in. You trap your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch your father’s eyes widen as he shuffles aside to let Pablo in.

“Dad, this is my boyfriend, Pablo. Pablo, this is my dad, Travis,” you speak up, a smile that’s all fondness and pride crossing your lips as you watch Pablo effortlessly shift a bouquet of flowers and his carry-on from one hand to the other in order to properly shake your father’s hand. There’s snow on his coat and in his hair, and you can’t help but feel that same little flit in your stomach when you realize he looks like every Hallmark Movie boyfriend ever. It’s a good look, one you know he chose with care, but it doesn’t even come close to showing the type of man he truly is. It’s just a polished exterior to make meeting your family a little easier after all the stories you’ve told. If you had your way, you would’ve had him show up in his old motorcycle jacket and boots, but you knew it would scandalize your parents beyond the point of understanding. Both of you had to take baby steps.

“Pleasure to finally meet you, sir.” You’re almost mouthing the words right along with him, and though you hadn’t exactly rehearsed what he was going to say upon first meeting your dad, you did warn him to keep it short and to the point and not try to compliment him too early on, as it would bristle his mustache.

When your father nods in his usual gruff manner, you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding, finally letting yourself take a peek at the rest of your family. Your brothers had stopped dead in their tracks, and you’re amazed Jacob hasn’t dropped the plate he’s holding. Both he and Matt have eyes wider than your father, and it’s only when Pablo approaches that Matt snaps out of it and kicks Jake’s knee, pulling his brother back to the present, even though neither of them can really close their mouths.

“Tanto?” Jake stammers out before you can even introduce them and you mentally let out a long string of cuss words, knowing any chance at normal conversation is over because of course your little brother recognizes him.

“Tanto’s Native American, sweetheart!” Your mother calls and you look for the nearest hole to crawl into, eyes closing in misery.

“No, Ma--Not that Tanto!” Jake says in annoyance before all but grabbing for Pablo’s hand, shaking it vigorously. You’re beyond grateful that Pablo is one of the chillest humans you’ve ever met, otherwise, you aren’t sure your brother’s fanboying would be nearly as well tolerated. All he gets is a smile and chuckle for his exuberance, Pablo seamlessly moving on to shaking Matt’s hand as you remember to make introductions.

“The fanboy is Jake, the old one is Matt. Boys, Pablo.” You say, your voice purposely flat when introducing your brothers, making them both turn and give you narrow-eyed glares. You only make a face back, your eyes moving back over to Pablo, the two of you sharing a secret smile. He knows all about your brothers’ antics and while you weren’t aware any of the men in your family had watched anything with him in it, you know the biggest hurdle is yet to come. Your mother has watched him, judging by how shocked she looks,  and you know full well she recognizes him from a very different role.

“You’re...You...Oh my,” she sounds as flustered as she looks, and for a moment, even Pablo’s face mirrors the worry you’re feeling, a quick glance back at you a silent request for help.

“Mom, he’s not that guy,” you warn her softly, and with quick shake of her head and a smoothing of her apron, your mother switches into ‘mom mode’ and plasters a bright smile to her face, accepting Pablo’s bouquet with the appropriate amount of pleasant surprise.

“These are lovely, thank you so much,” she says, carefully setting them on the counter before she finds her hand wrapped up in one of Pablo’s big mitts. “Mom, this is Pablo, Pablo, this is my mom, Kate.” You smile, watching your boyfriend butter up your mom with a kiss to the back of her hand, Pablo having quickly figured out why she looked like she’d seen a ghost.

“Is there anything I can help you with, ma’am?” he asks, even as he moves over to where you sit, his smile growing just as fond as the one you’re wearing, a reminder that no matter how crazy dinner gets, things will be alright, because he’s here with you. Tipping your head up, you can’t help but scrunch your nose as he cups your face in both hands and kisses you tenderly.

“Missed you,” he breathes as he pulls away, and in that moment, the farmhouse disappears, leaving the two of you to speak volumes with only a look at one another. Reaching up, you stroke your hand over his cheek, tugging gently at his beard, not missing the fact that he’s gotten a trim since the last time you saw him. “Missed you too,” you whisper, any romance interrupted by the sound of Jake pretending to throw up by the dinner table.

“Welcome to West Bend Farm,” you say, plastering on your own sickly-sweet, slightly murderous smile. It’s going to be a long Christmas.

[phanemotrash]

All of them. All 100. Do it. I dare you.

aha, I’ve missed when we’ve done this, good friend. *cracks knuckles*

1 - Who was the last person you texted?

my boss

2 - When is your birthday?

may 9th

3 - Who do you want to be with right now?

my crush

4 - What sports do you play?

does internet surfing count?

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?

one of my aunts

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?

Fixation by Emma Blackery

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?

my crush *wiggles eyebrows* ;)

8 - What do you feel right now?

numb

9 - What chocolate is your favorite?

ALL THE CHOCOLATE

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?

none, and I’ve never had a real one

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?

wanted a place to put things I couldn’t tell/show my parents

12 - Who is your favorite blogger?

the bitch who asked me this, @greenmooneyes

13 - Where do you want to be right now?

with my crush, where else?

14 - What do you want to be in the future?

in a stable, comfortable situation

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?

sometime in the last few days, I was pissed at my parents for something they do  a lot

16 - Are you happy?

50% of the time

17 - Who do you miss?

my family who live on the other side of the country, and the bitch who sent this ask

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?

no, every life has its struggles, so I’d rather deal with the ones in this life since I know best how to deal with them

19 - What was the best thing you were given?

friendship

20 - Who was the last person who called you?

my grandfather

21 - What is your favorite dish?

don’t have one, but I LOVE comfort food

22 - Who is your bestfriend?

the bitch who asked this (I already tagged her above)

23 - What is your biggest regret?

don’t have any

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?

nope, and I hope I never will (can’t say I won’t cause you never know what’ll happen)

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?

myself. I’m usually by myself

26 - Name someone pretty.

@roseyygf I think she’s very pretty

27 - Who was the last person you hugged?

my brother

28 - What kind of music do you listen to?

various kinds, can’t pin one down

29 - Are you over your past?

mostly, the only thing that I can’t get over is my abusive birth-mother and how she has treated me and my sister all our lives

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?

My uncle

31 - What kind of person do you want to date?

my crush, who else?

In seriousness, someone who is kind, funny, caring, respects me, and likes most of the same things I do. (My crush fits this soooo well, but has a girlfriend.)

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?

Yes. Especially when I could be looking at dank memes instead of trying to sleep.

33 - From whom was the last text message you received?

My boss

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?

J E A N S!!!!!

35 - How’s your heart?

hurting, but fine

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?

somewhat, I had a bf who did, but I don’t think that relationship counts as a real one for reasons I’d rather not discuss.

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?

YESSSSSS! (and they are all I want to talk about lately. I’m even annoying myself)

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?

Hey, why did we have a fake relationship? We were better as friends, and you hated me after we faked a relationship to get your sister to shut up, but never said why.

39 - Do you have any phobias?

fear of holes (can’t remember the specific word)

40 - Did you try to change for a person?

yes, sort of. The only time I change for a person is when I hurt them in some way, so I change so I never hurt anyone else in that way again

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?

I have no clue

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?

Nope! All my previous relationships were fake or not real relationships. Like, either pretending to be a couple, or we were a couple but certain reasons make it a not real relationship.

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?

neutral

44 - Name someone you can’t live without.

The bitch who sent this ask

45 - Describe your dream date.

being on a date with my crush

46 - Describe your dream wedding.

who said I wanted to get married?

If I did, it would be outside, in winter while it’s snowing

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?

none, no one sends me valentine’s shit (except my best friend [see above])

48 - Have you ever been kissed?

not a “real tongue kiss”, but one without tongue, yes, and that was only for a fake relationship to make it seem like it was real

49 - How long is your longest relationship?

two weeks

50 - Do you regret your past?

nope

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?

depends on what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and who I’m doing it for

52 - Have you ever cried over someone?

yup, the first girl I loved. I cried because I emotionally hurt her without realizing, and I felt like a piece of shit for what I did

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?

birth-mother, no one else

54 - Are you a crybaby?

according to my parents yes, but most of the time, no

55 - Do people praise you for your looks?

not really, I’m mostly praised for ‘how smart I am’

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?

yes, only reason I shouldn’t have is cause she was straight, and I knew it.

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?

yes, hurting the girl I loved. I regretted it for years until I accepted that I did a horrible thing, that I learned from it, and just got sick and tired of crying myself to sleep over what I did. I shouldn’t have done that, but I got sick of regretting something years after it happened.

58 - Do you like getting hurt?

physically, in certain ways, yes ;)

59 - Does anyone hate you?

probably

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?

myself, yes, when I need to focus but can’t (happens frequently). other than that, no

61 - What hair color do you prefer?

I have no preference 

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?

being able to analyze my words and actions better so I don’t hurt anyone ever again

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?

no, I do have a crush though

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?

I used to, but not anymore.

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?

no

66 - Can you live without internet?

yes

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?

Fixation by Emma Blackery, Helpless from Hamilton, Satisfied from Hamilton, Would You Be So Kind by Dodie Clark, Absolutely Smitten by Dodie Clark

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?

extremely, it’s scary

69 - Are you a crybaby?

you already asked this

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?

no

71 - Are you a KPOP fan?

not really, but I have yet to check it out

72 - Do you study hard?

yes ;)

in seriousness, only when an assignment is due

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?

no

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?

no

also, *have you ever had a kiss, or, *did you ever have a kiss (I copied this directly from the post)

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?

yes

76 - Did you have an accident last year?

no

77 - What kind of person are you?

hmm, honest, don’t give a fuck what people think about me, happy being single, happy being just friends with my crush, 50% happy

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?

yes, but even when I thought about it, and still to this day, would never do it.

79 - Have you ever been jealous?

yes

80 - How can you prove your love to someone?

no idea

81 - What are you thinking right now?

why did I listen to this bitch and answer every one of these questions? my fingers hurt

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?

my step mom

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?

yes, but I shouldn’t erase them because they helped me learn shit

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?

yes

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?

I have, but I’ve been trying to stop doing that, no matter what the person has done to me

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?

yes, I start arguments with my best friend [see above] on purpose

87 - Do you have trust issues?

somewhat

88 - Are you broken-hearted?

no, I repaired my broken heart years ago

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?

my crush, ONLY CAUSE 3 PEOPLE HAVE TRIED TELLING ME I’M IN LOVE WITH THEM WHEN IT’S JUST A CRUSH

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?

yes

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?

yes

92 - Who do you want to marry?

who said I want to get married?

93 - Do you believe in destiny?

somewhat

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?

no

95 - How do you look right now?

awesome

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?

no, love can die, love can come in phases, love is fucking weird as hell

97 - Have you found your true love?

no

98 - What should you be doing right now?

watching YouTube, BUT SOMEONE SENT THIS ASK

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.

Jeremy, if that even counted as a relationship

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

all the damn time.

[lilacflamesss]

do you have any hcs about ayato as a model??

Hcs???? Bruh, it’s canon. Lmao jk, but anyway, here have some model Ayato with his supportive uncle, sister and brother-in-law being his number one fans. And Hinami. It got long so I had to cut it. 

When everything is over and a peaceful world is achieved and ghouls are somehow accepted, Ayato is at a loss and he doesn’t really know what to do since there’s no more fighting. Touka offers to pay for him if he wants to go to college or something since she has some money saved up, but he asks her to use it for Hinami instead. In the first place, even if he goes to school, he doesn’t know what he wants to study. 

He helps out at Touka’s cafe for the moment, even though he knows that he can’t just keep relying on her. Touka’s fine with it, but Ayato wants to be independent. 

For no particular reason other than so I can have something to say, some big shot modelling agency’s CEO happens to drop by their cafe one day for some business meeting with a client. Things are going downhill for their company and they’re in desperate search for a model who’s just… the one™. So far, no one has been satisfactory and they’re really annoyed. 

Ayato happens to serve them and one look at him is enough. CEO dude is like “Who are you?” Ayato is confused and for a second, he’s worried that these people maybe know about him being Rabbit in the past and all. Touka sees what’s going on and being the good big sister and manager that she is, she comes in between them. She asks them if there’s a problem and she apologises in advance in case he did anything wrong because he’s still new at the waiter thing, but CEO is like “No, he’s just what we need.” And now we have two confused rabbits. 

CEO explains his situation and he tells them how he thinks Ayato has the looks, body and poise to pull off their latest campaign. Ayato is even more confused because like, he knows he’s good-looking, but he never thought he’s that good-looking. On the other hand, Touka’s like “Yeah, it’s about time someone offered him a modelling contract.” Touka thinks it’s a good opportunity but Ayato’s unsure about it, so CEO gives him an offer. He’ll give Ayato a few days to think about it and if he wants to try it out, they can conduct a trial photoshoot for him in a few days. CEO leaves his name card with them and he goes on his way. 

Later that day, Touka brings the topic up to the rest of Goat and no one is even surprised that he got offered something. Tsukiyama thinks it’s an amazing opportunity and that if Ayato ever becomes a big shot model, he’s gonna get Ayato to model some of his clothes for him. Nishiki can’t stop laughing. The Aogiri gang (because Naki isn’t dead) tell him to take it up since they know he’ll do amazingly. Hinami gets excited because it’s not everyday your boyfriend is a model and tells him that if he’s going to be on magazines and all, she’ll buy every single one of them to support him. Touka counters saying she’ll buy ten copies of each and put it up (cue more laughter from Nishiki because like lmao since when do you have a bro-con you shitty Touka). Kaneki tells Ayato to follow his heart because he only has one heart to follow unlike Ken who has like 7 or 8.

Ayato’s a little worried because he’s been spending his whole life hiding his face from everyone but accepting this means he’s exposing himself to the world. Yomo notices this and he pulls Ayato aside to talk. Ayato admits that he wants to do it because he wants to be able to stand on his own and not be a burden to his sister anymore. Yomo assures him he isn’t a burden to Touka, but it is natural to want to be able to feel that way and he says that no matter what decision Ayato makes, Touka and the rest of Goat will definitely support him. Ayato eventually decides to just try it out and he contacts the CEO saying he’ll go for the trial.

Touka and Kaneki end up tagging along with him because on the day of the photoshoot, Ayato was right on the verge of chickening out. Hinami wanted to come along but Kaneki stopped her saying that if she followed, Ayato will probably be too shy to do anything. Touka promises that she’ll get some photos for Hinami instead ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Surprise! It’s a photoshoot for some kind of underwear brand. Ayato’s so embarrassed, he was about to walk out the door, but Touka tells him that he might as well pull through with it since they’re already there. Kaneki points out that it’s better he goes all out during the trial to see if he’s comfortable with the extremes. At least, he won’t have to worry about being uncomfortable later on. The CEO admits that that was their intention as well and Ayato doesn’t have to worry too much about revealing too much if he actually takes up the job since their agency doesn’t really do underwear modelling that frequently. 

It takes a while for the make-up and all to be done. Ayato’s still insecure about it, since his body’s quite scarred from all the fighting he did in the past. He admits to the CEO that he’s a ghoul and all but the guy doesn’t really give two fucks. Bodies with scars are attractive anyway, at least it’s not a plain canvas. Besides, for magazines and all, they can easily cover them up. 

The photoshoot takes quite long since Ayato’s new at it and they needed to take the shots a couple of times while teaching him how to do things. But eventually it wraps up well and CEO says he’ll send the photos to their cafe when it’s ready. While on the way back, Touka and Kaneki tell him that he seems to really fit the role and based on the photos they saw, they think he’d make a good model. Touka shows him some of the photos she took with her phone (for Hinami) and he finds himself surprised by how it turned out. 

Touka shows the photos to everyone in Goat in the end and Ayato can’t meet anyone’s eye for the next week. Hinami only saw them once though because her nose started bleeding every time she sees them. Hinami tries to get Ayato to take up the job anyway, since she believes he’ll do well and she wants to see him model even more. Ayato tells her that even if he doesn’t end up taking it, he’ll model for her some times. 

CEO shows up a week later with developed and edited photos which take everyone by surprise because he really looks every good. The CEO tells Ayato that he is talented and he seems to have the kind of face that could pull off any concept. He shows them the contract he has prepared and asks Ayato if he’s willing to sign it. Protective family instantly jumps in and starts analysing the contract. Kaneki and Yomo go through every line of the contract while Touka questions the CEO about the working conditions and all. CEO says that if Ayato does work for them, he’ll make sure Ayato’s well-taken care of because he’s probably their big break anyway. But for their sake and since he has nothing to lose anyway, CEO says that the contract merely lasts two years and if he wants to end things after that, he can, or if he wants to continue he could renew it in the end of the two years. 

While still unsure about it, Ayato eventually accepts it because he realises that he might not get a similar chance. It’s not like he can work anywhere else as well since he doesn’t have any education. 

Since he did end up in a bigshot company, despite it’s difficulties, Ayato’s first job is a large-scale one for some really well-known men clothing line. Eventually, he starts getting more jobs for different kinds of products because he was really well-received by the public. 

As he starts getting more popular, people start pressing him about his personal life. Touka tells him to be careful because it’s still not completely safe for ghouls to be out in the open. He stays silent about his past but at some point, someone from the company leaks the fact that he’s a ghoul out to the public. There’s a lot of controversy over this and people start fearing him and talking ill about him. Ayato’s normally used to hearing people badmouth him, since in Aogiri times Rabbit wasn’t that well-liked by many ghouls as he was a killer anyway, but he starts getting really worried about this. Having people know that he is a ghoul is one thing, but he really doesn’t want people to find out that he’s a former SS-rated ghoul who’s killed a lot of people, mainly because he’s absolutely ashamed of his past. 

Now that Ayato’s reputation is a little tarnished it’s getting hard to get jobs, especially since a lot of products worry about using a ghoul as their face. Most of the bigshot products are mainly bought by humans in the first place. Ghouls don’t have that kind of cash. Ayato, who’s been taking his job really seriously because he’s a Kirishima and they’re totally all about that hard work and all, gets stressed out by this and also upset because he wonders if he’s going to end up back in square one after everything he’s done. 

Good brother-in-law Kaneki comes to the rescue. He goes up to the CEO and suggests that they include Ayato’s kagune in their next photoshoot since the Kirishimas have beautiful kagunes in the first place. CEO wonders what such photos could be used for, but Kaneki tells him to just take the photos and leave everything to Kaneki. He then tells the CEO that he’s the OEK and they’re the ones responsible for upholding ghoul rights and with Ayato’s photos maybe they’d launch some kind of campaign about it. 

Ayato is super worried when he hears about this because letting people see his kakugan and kagune is like unravelling himself completely, even more so than being naked. It takes awhile for Kaneki to convince him and Kaneki tells him to have some faith in himself and in Kaneki and that Kaneki won’t just let his wife’s brother fail just like that after working so hard.

The photos end up coming out beautifully, especially thanks to the kagune. CEO is so surprised, since he didn’t expect ghouls to be so beautiful. Along with big organizations that champion ghoul rights, the OEK launches a campaign to advocate for further acceptance of ghouls in their society and he uses Ayato as the face for it. Whether or not the campaign turns out well is undeterminable, but Ayato’s reputation starts getting better again because the pictures of him with his kagune started going really viral for being so beautiful. 

As time passes and his popularity builds up again, Ayato starts getting asked to show his kagune more and more, which he does. Ayato realises that he’s also starting to feel more confident about himself. 

True to their words, Hinami does buy every magazine he appears on while Touka buys 10 copies. Touka even collects the different posters of him and has them up in their apartment. She’s so proud of her brother she wants it everywhere– except Nishiki slaps her on the head because it doesn’t suit the cafe’s atmosphere at all so they couldn’t put it up in there and Kaneki isn’t having it up in their bedroom since there’s no way he’s having sex with Touka in front of a poster of her brother. 

Hinami gets bragging rights in college because that model everyone is crazy over right now? That’s right, he’s my boyfriend. 

With everything settled now, Yomo feels a huge burden off his shoulders. Touka is a manager of her own cafe with her own family. Ayato’s a successful model able to stand on his own two feet. He can now look up at the sky and smile to Hikari and Arata. “Are you proud of them, Sis?” 

[pxrtgasdace]

Roger did not flinch in the face of his son's anger, no, he greeted it with a sad smile. "No, I don't think you will. You're too kind, too much like her to do it." The wheelchair groaned under the extra weight pressing into it, trembling under Ace's grip, and the fingers digging into his shoulder brought great discomfort, but Roger pushed through it. Ace was, by far, more important."I know it's my fault. After all, the fault shouldn't be placed on an innocent child who's done nothing wrong." 1

When Ace’s fist ignited, Roger regarded it with pride in his eyes. “Even without anyone to guide you, you’ve still become a fine young man. Strong in body and personality.” Finally, finally, Roger looked Ace in the eyes only for his to widen. There were those tears. Those same damned tears that never suited Rouge when she was alive certainly didn’t suit her son now. They looked sorely out of place in those fiery coals. It felt like Roger was being stabbed in the chest just looking at them.  Roger would never claim the title of being the smartest man in the world, but what did he care about that? Not a whole lot. He’d done more than his fair share of risky activities. Now, would he risk getting blown to bits for hugging his son? Yes, yes, he would. His boy was more than worth the risk. It’d be plenty easy now that he was close enough too. With his mind made up, Roger yanked Ace closer to him and wrapped his arms around the young man. “Rouge would be so proud of you. I know I am…”

roger | (previously.)

Time seemed to stop. The globe ceased rotating. The flame around Ace’s fist was not sufficient to cast light on the darkness within, the same one he was adjusting frequencies with, reading it and reminiscing now…

He was a boy again. A little boy on Dadan’s doorstep, no friend in the world to keep him company. There was this boy… Sabo was his name. But they were not friends, not yet, only acquaintances, fellow free spirits, joined together in nonconformity for the world too blind to see their worth. Current circumstances were drawing the boys closer, but Ace’s armour was still too thick for Sabo to penetrate. A boy such as Ace, too burdened with questions his maturity, paradoxically, should not be enough for him to pose definitely was not enough for him to see the answers he sought, did not make friends easily.

Sabo’s friendship had been a miracle against all odds. Ace could see himself wandering the streets of Goa Kingdom alone, on his lonely philosophical quest, bearing naught but his loyal pipe and his everlasting existential doubt. Back then, his attitude regarding Roger was different.

He hated the man, alright - hated him for living him and Mother alone! But it was not on Roger’s broad, crimson-covered, epaulette-adorned shoulders that Ace put Rouge’s death. It was on his small, at date scrawny shoulders. And though no random person with their quarrels with the Pirate King could hate him as much as his own child did, Ace would not tolerate it when dark citizens badmouthed Roger. He could not tell why…

Years later, while still a child but already in the presence of Sabo, now his friend and partner in daydreams made of salt and sunshine, Ace was no longer defending Roger. His hatred was still there but it had mutated, his loathing now quieter, internalised. More wicked. It was above giving a fuck for someone he cared not about.

He could now understand why he’d defended Roger in the first place: far from it being for Roger’s sake, it was for his own. It was the refusal of being associated with the man people spoke about, as told in and per their accounts. Once he had renounced Roger, there was no way Ace would waste his precious time and strength - his own time and strength - defending him.

But had he ever wished to kill Roger? Yes… and no.

No one could kill what was already dead and thus coming up with murderous fantasies would be a petty exercise for a boy who was too practical for such exercises. On the other hand, once he came to realise, as a teenager now, that Roger was the one to blame for Rouge’s death, with his meddling and ruining of her chances of a beautiful life, Ace had been sure he’d be capable of killing Roger if he appeared even in his nightmares, in what would be a justified and successful attempt to avenge his mother and a fruitless try at saving himself through Roger’s death.

Quickly, Ace saw his life flash before his eyes… Funny how such a phenomenon is connected with one’s imminent death and not as an occurrence associated with one’s desire to bring death upon another.

He paid attention to the negative feelings, ignoring the bright ones sponsored by his brothers and even Dadan one time or another, Makino too. All the times he’d felt a foreigner in the only place he had for a home… All the nights he’d dreamt of his mother and had to witness her die in his own hands, at his own hands… All the times he’d felt hopelessness. All the times he had simply existed rather than lived… Those wore all Roger’s fault. Yes, Luffy and Sabo, Deuce and the Spades, Pops and his sea children… All of them had influenced Ace’s life for the better and made it worth living. But the pain had never left him…

To murder Roger, the undead evil, would be Ace’s ultimate act of vindication.

And he was ready to perform it and have the curtain close down on all misery of his life - kill it and start anew, be a new form of himself, Ace, the pirate; not Ace, the devil’s child - when Roger spoke from his wheeled high horse. There was no hint of fear in his voice, nor was it acceptance for a death already too delayed.

Ace’s eyes widened and quivered and so did his fist, which he managed to steady. Not his mind, though.

How could Roger be so sure? Why, he didn’t know him! Didn’t know Ace at all! And he’d never tried to, either, had he? With what right did he tell him what he was and wasn’t capable of doing? Maybe if he had actually tried, years ago…

It was too late now.

“I AM NOT KIND!” His voice came like a wild lion’s roar in Roger’s face. His fire blazed ever higher with this new rush of adrenaline. “DAMN RIGHT IT’S YOUR FAULT! What the fuck do you know of innocence? You can’t know of that which you never had, nor can I. Thanks to you!”

Tears streamed down his orbs. Oh, how he wished he could claim innocence for himself! Never, not even as a hapless baby covered in his own drool, no corrupted thoughts in his mind, had Ace ever been innocent. It would have felt so good… to be innocent…

His fist shook once more. The hand holding Roger’s shoulder did too and stubbornly tried to compensate its sister’s weakness with a firmer grip. 

Do it… How hard was it to kill a man? How easy would it be to kill the shadow of one? One blow and Roger would die. The root of evil would die. Do it, Ace. Be useful… for once.

Then, the unthinkable happened. Roger pulled Ace in for a hug, surprisingly strong for a decrepit old man, exactly the type only an elder man clinging to life could. Ace was Roger’s life now. The living  buoy he desperately got ahold of, lest Death’s ship come pass him by and for him call a halt.

Ace felt Roger’s phalanges digging into his skin, strong as iron. They felt like ancient roots keeping the Earth together. He felt the coldness of the bones inside their fleshy wrapping. But in spite of all this might, it was not Roger’s hug that got to him… It was him talking of Rouge.

Always Rouge.

How could Roger feel pride in a son who had stopped being his a long time ago, one he did not know? And how dare he say Rouge would be proud of Ace? What the hell did she have to feel proud of? Ace could not see what the fuck could be so special about a trash kid who had managed to remain alive in notwithstanding the circumstances.

One blow… but it did not come. Ace pushed Roger away, not caring whether his wheelchair kept secure on the ground or fell to it, and its owner along with the frame.

“DON’T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME! DON’T YOU SPEAK HER NAME!” Like a madman trying to suffocate the voices in his head, Ace pressed his hands tight against his ears, refusing to listen to anything else Roger had nothing to say. There was nothing he wanted to hear from those lips.

His fist was no longer aflame. Ace did not know how to react or what to think. He wanted to kill Roger, still, but the fucker was right: he was kind. His heart was gentle… Even if he would kill the Roger everyone talked about, tall and strong and loud, he would not kill a dying man in a wheelchair, especially one who was on the floor, if Roger was indeed on the floor - Ace was not seeing any of it. This world…

If his gentleness was Rouge’s gift to him along with existence and the freckles, then Ace’s wish could not be any other than to cherish it and use this gift for his mother’s sake. So she could, indeed, be proud of him.

[wcnderfulrush]

💕:3

send me 💕 to see the moment my muse realized they were in love with yours | accepting!

She couldn’t exactly figure out what was going on. All of the girls were too crowded around Justin for her to see what was happening, but from her friend’s noises she had to assume it was nothing good. Everyone was just lucky Eli had something to do with her sister today so she didn’t have to interfere, and Nozomi was holding both Umi and her back, her phone at the ready for the unveiling while she tried to reassure them that everything was fine in the clubroom. Though it was plain to see that Kotori was more uneased and nervous by this sudden activity, Nozomi softening up at her demeanor. “Don’t worry, Kotori, we’re not hurting him or anything. We’re just giving him a little makeover, that’s all!”

“W-Well, I just want you guys to be careful with him, okay? I don’t want him hurting his jaw again, you know…” Her concern is voiced to the whole crew, looking from Nozomi to the small crowd of noisy girls behind her. It had been a month now since he had moved in to her house, and his recovery from his jaw injury was anything but the speedy result they wanted. He could mumble words to her without his mouth hurting too much at least, but his meals had only increased from gross smoothies to mashed potatoes and bananas at most, and he still groaned a bit whenever the smallest amount of pressure was put on his cheek. Though she was grateful for any sort of improvement, she knew Justin was still taking it pretty hard. So, she had hoped all of these activites she presented and all of these interactions with the girls would help ease his mind, but if it just ended up with him getting hurt again.

“Kotori, stop babying the boy!” The third year’s voice pierced her thoughts, letting out a small, surprised gasp as she saw that Nico and Honoka actually turned around to pay attention to her. “Don’t worry so much; he’s not as fragile as you think, and we’re not as rough as you presume! We’re angelic school idols with delicate touches and soft caresses — !”

“And the only time we were near his face was when Maki was tying the bow tie and —”

“Honoka, you idiot! It’s a surprise; you can’t just shout out key details like that!” Nico looked like she was suddenly ready to choke out the leader for speaking, getting in front of her and trying to cover her mouth, but Honoka was ready to block, holding the smaller girl’s hands down. “What, we’re done anyways, so what’s there to hide? Besides, I think it’d make Kotori much happier to just show her now!”

“Well it better be good, making Kotori worry her head off and making both of us just stand out in the hall like this!” Umi shouted, shoving through the small gap between Nozomi and the door, though she paused when she actually saw Justin, a blush crawling up her face before she facepalmed as she sat in a chair, no other words spoken. All of the sudden excitement certainly made Kotori more curious than concerned for the time being, Nozomi seeing that as her opportunity to drag her into the room. “Ah, you guys are done? That’s great; then I guess the recording’s started now~” She chimed over Nico and Honoka’s commotion, moving out of Kotori’s way so she can have space to enter the room. 

Upon seeing her, Hanayo and Rin smile wide, Maki looking less enthused and more a bit proud of herself, before all of them turn towards her while trying to keep Justin hidden behind them. He was obviously sitting down or something, because he wasn’t like a tree in a field of flowers behind them, and she could see mostly black and a hint of red… “Kotori Minami, today is your lucky day!” Nozomi called from beside her, causing Kotori to jump and face her, cutting off her own surprised squeak at the phone thrust in her face. At this point, Nico had gotten done berating Honoka about the importance of executing a great surprise, and seized her opportunity to speak in front of the camera. “Today, we are gonna show you the amazing transformation of your friend, Justin! He came to us a poor, disheveled mess, barely having an ounce of fashion sense in his body. But now here he stands before you, a completely changed man, mostly because of the direction and artistry of yours truly — !”

“Get on with it already, we don’t have all day.” Maki interjected, arms crossed over her chest, with Justin letting out what sounded like a mumble of agreement. Nico went to badmouth her like she had Honoka, but, probably because of the video being recorded, she stopped herself, composing herself and just letting out a slight “Humph!” before waving her hand at the first years. All three girls look at each other and, with Rin leading it, they count down to a grand flourish of fistfuls of confetti being thrown as they stepped back, revealing —

Justin in a suit. Kotori recognized it instantly as Eli’s Love Wing Bell costume, knowing that would be the only one that would even remotely fit his stature, but still…Before she can question it, though, Justin stood up, taking a step or two towards her before extending his hand. Looking at him, his cheeks had started turning as red as the flower on his collar ( she was surprised that thing was still on the outfit ), and she could feel her face growing hot as well while her eyes widened, but a small smile managed to form on her face at seeing his own embarrassment. The moment it faltered was when he inched a bit closer, bowing in such a gentlemanly way, before tilting his when he was at her height. “Hello, princess.” He tried to say as clearly as possible, obviously feeling a bit of pain flare up at his attempt as he winced, though he still struggled with an elegant smile on his face…

And she flew into a giggle fit right in front of him, ruining the whole act. All of the other girls were oohing and aahing at how well he executed everything ( though Umi had found refuge in a corner of the room so she didn’t have to look at the embarrassing scene taking place ), but then all of them are stunned into silence by the seamstress’s sudden outburst. So is Justin, but just the sight of her smile has him out of his confused state and beaming in moments, his cheeks and jaw both feeling like they were on fire, but he didn’t care in the slightest. “You like it?” He mumbled, quieter than before, Kotori automatically trying to calm herself down once his lips started moving so she could hear him. “Oh, I love it!” Is her reply, in the loudest voice she can muster, wrapping the boy in a hug, “I’m so glad I was worried over nothing; this surprise is wonderful! But you have to tell me how you fit into that outfit.”

“That was due to Nico’s handiwork, of course!” All attention is back on the small third year, who is all smiles at being presented the chance to brag a bit. “We weren’t going to use this old costumes anytime soon, so I decided to start little project with our new manager! Eli is the tallest out of all of us, so I decided to use her outfit for the job. It took a bit of adjusting with the extra fabric and bringing up the hems, but it was all such a brilliant idea —!”

“That Honoka and Justin planned out. Nico only intervened when she when she had the idea of using the Love Wing Bell costumes instead of spending a whole weekend out shopping for a suit.” Maki interjected yet again, stepping a bit forward, “Though, trust me, I offered to take him to the tailor where my papa gets his suits done, but everyone said that that was too much.”

“Well that was too much, Maki. We were trying to much Kotori feel better, but going all the way to do that would’ve been a bit extreme, nya.” 

“Though, I suppose it would’ve been nice to see Justin in his own tailor made suit. I bet he would’ve looked splendid in one!” Rin and Hanayo throw in their two cents before the first years and Nico start their own conversation circle, Nico thinking that maybe nobody appreciated her contribution to the little project. Though it has Kotori a bit stunned, Rin’s words hanging in the air for a bit, quirking a brow. Had she been upset lately? Nothing had really bothered her lately, she supposed, and everything at school, work, and home were fine. Justin’s moving in certainly wasn’t it, she was sure of that —

“Kotori?” The mumble brought her from her thoughts, looking over at Justin, the concerned glint in his eye as he struggled to keep his smile up making her chest tighten, “What’s on your mind?”

“O-Oh, nothing. This was all just so much; I’m really grateful, but you guys didn’t have to do any of this.”At that, his smile softened and calmed, concern being replaced by an almost visible warmth. It was always that smile that made her relax, the anxious moment passing before it even had time to settle in the air. The atmosphere surprisingly stays calm as Honoka approaches with a bit of pep in her step like always, “There’s the smile again! No uptight smiles; just a bunch of happiness, okay?” 

“Eh? Honoka, I don’t —?”

“Well, your smiles just seemed tighter lately, like you didn’t want to show anyone something. And I didn’t want anything like that to happen again —!” At that, the leader takes her hands and squishes her best friends face a bit, making the other girl giggle in response, “— Justin noticed something was up too, saying that you’ve been more skiddish and out of it at home, so we both got really worried and wanted to make you feel better so we could see your pure, happy smile again! I’m glad it worked, aren’t you?” She turned to Justin for affirmation, who in turn just smiled and nodded, the lowest chuckle coming out of him while his cheeks turned a light pink. 

Had she really not noticed something like that? Kotori didn’t even realize she had been making such a face as to warrant such worries from her dearest friends, and now all of this was to cure her unknown sadness? Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment at the thought of something so unbeknownst to her, “I-I’m sorry you guys. I didn’t even notice I was doing that myself, and I didn’t mean to give you all cause for concern.”

“Don’t apologize.” Is Justin’s next murmur, a finger going up to move a few strands of hair from Kotori’s face before massaging his jaw hinge a bit, though still keeping up his gentle smile. “Yeah, don’t be sorry! We’re just glad to know you’re okay!” Is Honoka’s own interjection, before the sound of footsteps approaching them made them all look at an amused Nozomi and a sheepish Umi right behind her. “Ah, all of this is so sweet! This is definitely going in the group slideshow!”

“Ah, not the one on the ranking website, right? I don’t want people to see…All of this…”

“Hehe, you just don’t want anyone to see your sulking face~”

“I-I wasn’t sulking! I was just —”

“Hiding your face from all the embarrassing cute stuff?”

“Yes, exactly, that was — W-Wait, Honoka!” 

The leader couldn’t help but giggle as Umi’s face turned a bright red, Nozomi grinning as they started to go back and forth, recording every little yell. Kotori stepped forward to go and stop them, but, knowing that there wouldn’t be too much trouble because of it, she left them be, hands clasped together in front of her as she watched her best friends. After a moment, a tapping on her shoulder brings her gaze over to Justin again, his phone held up for her to look at, “Good surprise?” She couldn’t help but giggle, knowing his jaw must’ve been tired from all the smiling and talking, nodding her head, “Great surprise. Thank you again, Justin.” Justin lets out another small laugh, before he goes to type out another message. She watched him the entire time, noticing every little expression change, meeting his eyes occasionally with a small smile. He did honestly looked so cute in that get up; she would have to make him his own outfit sometime soon for a special occasion like his birthday or if anything exciting came up. He was honestly so sweet to her by participating in all of this too; to all of the girls, really, since she assumed they sort of forced him into this plan. 

His next message kind of confirmed that thought, taking the phone thrust towards her to read. “Yeah, that’s what Honoka thought. She’d said that you’d really appreciate some big thing like this, though she suggested some sort of surprise party or a shopping day. I thought those ideas were fine, and the girls liked them too, but Nico said it wasn’t “extravagant” or “special” enough, so she suggested that we make you something. Honoka and Umi thought a dress was a good idea, but then Nozomi got this smirk on her face and just looked at me. Then she gathered the girls together and left me out of the conversation, and then…this. I really wasn’t expecting to wear this. But it was all for you, so I’m bearing with it.” Reading it all, she can’t help but laugh again, though this time in a more jovial tone. It did really sound like all of them; she could picture that exact conversation going down at the clubroom table and everyone’s expressions at each point in the conversation. At his last sentence, though, she quirked a brow again, looking up at him, “You didn’t have to agree to wear it though, Justin. If you aren’t comfortable in it ---”

A finger pressed to her lips halted her words, Justin turning his own bright pink at the action, before taking the phone back to type out another message. Kotori’s honestly a bit stunned for a moment, her fingers lightly touching her lips in slight disbelief, before the phone in her face grabbed her attention once more. “Well, like I said, it was for you, so I didn’t mind at all. I was really worried about you, and I would do anything to see you smile; it’s the least I can do with all the things you’ve done for me.”

Much shorter than the last message, but it packed more of a punch, the unspoken words warming her heart and expression softening to one of slight awe. He was honestly too sweet to her sometimes, she didn’t know how to respond to something like that. Thinking back to that day when he got hurt, he said he would try and pay her back for everything she was doing for him, even with her saying that it wasn’t much trouble to her at all. This certainly wasn’t what she had originally had in mind, though it certainly won’t be the last thing he does for her. But, truthfully, it was all worth it in the end. Making sure he was being taken care of while he was recovering, with a roof over his head and fresh food on the table, and being able to see him smile truly made it all worthwhile. She tried her best, now more than ever, to make his days exciting and fun, his soft laugh the reward...

Had that been it? The thought strikes her suddenly, like a club pounding her head; had all of her expressions everyone worried over been caused by him? It made her blush suddenly turn crimson, hands grabbing at the fabric of her skirt. She was very concerned over him, his safety and his happiness seeming to be her top priority nowadays, and with all of the other things she had to juggle in life right now, everything might’ve been wearing her out. But if it was that, she didn’t mind at all; she would tell Justin so if he asked! Making him smile was a joy in her life; making him laugh made her heart swell with joy; his mere presence made her so cheery; she just loved him so much and wanted the best for him ---

The arrow is shot through her heart. She’s stunned by her rapid thoughts, all paused by a sudden realization of an occurring feeling; a growing feeling, maybe something that’s been growing for so long she hadn’t realized it until it was staring her in the face. Literally. With a look of concern.

“Kotori? You okay?” His voice trembled slightly, either due to nerves or pain she didn’t know, as his phone is pocketed for the moment. Instantly she nodded her head, though taking a moment to actually think of what to say. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine. I just think I had an epiphany of some kind, that’s all.” The quizzical look on his face at that answer made her crack a smile again, giggling at his confusion and her own newfound feelings that he couldn’t possibly know. “W-What was it?” Was his next question, a slight smile forming at the sight of her own, knowing that at least it wasn’t anything too terrible. Silence was her only answer for a moment, debating if she should say anything at all about it, but the thought being deemed as much too sudden. So, instead, she pressed her own finger to her lips with a wink, “Maybe someday. I still need to mull it over a bit; come to terms with it and everything.”

[nonstopstupidactions]

I haven't done one of these in years.

So enjoy fuckers. 1 - Who was the last person you texted? Victoria. But technically Michael through Snapchat. 2 - When is your birthday? May 18th 3 - Who do you want to be with right now? No one? 4 - What sports do you play? I run marathons.. Netflix marathons AYYEE 5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? Abbey Ryan 6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment? Thunderstruck by AC/DC 7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? MICHAEL SO WE CAN SAVE THIS CITY @incaseyoueverwonder 8 - What do you feel right now? A little cold and sleepy tbh 9 - What chocolate is your favorite? Hot chocolate 10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? Only two. Two girlfriends that is😂 11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account? @cherisethecat got me into this madness 12 - Who is your favorite blogger? @cherisethecat 13 - Where do you want to be right now? In bed watching Netflix 14 - What do you want to be in the future? Asleep in bed 15 - When was the last time you cried? Why? Currently on the edge of falling into depression and I'm trying very hard to stay positive but it's getting more and more difficult as each day passes. 16 - Are you happy? Nope. 17 - Who do you miss? No one 18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? Nope, I mean I'm going through a really hard time but I wouldn't trade it for anything. 19 - What was the best thing you were given? Love and affection. 20 - Who was the last person who called you? Father was 21 - What is your favorite dish? A good burger always makes me happy 22 - Who is your bestfriend? Sir Michael Jew and Ms. Tracy Tran 23 - What is your biggest regret? I don't have any regrets buddy 24 - Have you ever slapped your partner? Lol well I would need one first, but no. Play fighting yeah. But actually going Ike Turner on her ass? Nope. 25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with? Sir Michael Jew 26 - Name someone pretty. Melissa Benoist 27 - Who was the last person you hugged? My little sister 28 - What kind of music do you listen to? I've actually been listening to a lot of classic rock lately 29 - Are you over your past? Been over it 30 - Who is the last person in your contacts? Someone I met at the club and I don't remember her name and feel awkward asking so her name is a bunch of question marks hahaha 31 - What kind of person do you want to date? Someone who enjoys Netflix and superheroes as much as me, but can also enjoy a cold brew 32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? LOLOL DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?? 33 - From whom was the last text message you received? Victoria telling me to go to sleep cause it was late lol 34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? Jeans of course. I'm really not a big skirt fan. 35 - How’s your heart? Cold and lonely but what else is new. 36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? Nope 37 - Do you like someone as of the moment? I mean yeah but her ex just died not too long ago and I'm not trying to catch shade from a ghost 38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend? How's the alcoholic, drug crazed, putting mothers in headlocks, balding before he's 25 years old boyfriend doing? 39 - Do you have any phobias? Nooooo 40 - Did you try to change for a person? No never that. That's barnacles. 41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone? Well my ex basically lived with me because she hated being home with her parents and I wanted to make her life easier. 42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? Nah. Fuck all that. I mean I really enjoyed my time with her. But I knew it was doomed from the beginning. 43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? I'm cold. So you decide. 44 - Name someone you can’t live without. Kassandra Moreno. 45 - Describe your dream date. Honestly just being with the person. It doesn't matter where, just being with them is enough. 46 - Describe your dream wedding. I'm not even in a relationship, slow your roll. 47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? All of zero 48 - Have you ever been kissed? Is that where you connect ponytails? Wait fuck that's how avatar people smash. Yes, yes I have been kissed. 49 - How long is your longest relationship? A year... and three months...? 50 - Do you regret your past? I feel like I just answered this, no. 51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else? Duh as long as you get it on video. 52 - Have you ever cried over someone? Who hasn't? 53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? Definitely not. Hakuna Matata 54 - Are you a crybaby? Yeah, it's a tough world out here. 55 - Do people praise you for your looks? I mean for my eyebrows yeah. 56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t? Yeah, but shit happens. 57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? Hahahaha yeah. 58 - Do you like getting hurt? Like emotionally, mentally, physically? Come on get more specific man. 59 - Does anyone hate you? Mhm. Kaila does. 60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”? Nopeee 61 - What hair color do you prefer? Brunette I suppose 62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? Nothing man, I love myself. 63 - Do you love someone as of the moment? Does... does supergirl count or.... 64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? Definitely not. 65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school? Well to have issues with someone in school, I have to be in school.. and I'm not so no. 66 - Can you live without internet? Of course I can. 67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone? I don't have a special someone Tumblr. Fuck. 68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? Yeah but I just let them go cause life's too short. 69 - Are you a crybaby? Repeat 70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? Yeah when I go to the hospital. 71 - Are you a KPOP fan? Fuck no. 72 - Do you study hard? When I have to. But it's rare. 73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? Yeah my place of peace and being alone. 74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight? Who hasn't? 75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? I own one actually. 76 - Did you have an accident last year? Indeed I did. 77 - What kind of person are you? I'm the kind of person who will compliment you, and ask you to be careful. But who will also help you when you need it, who will not stop doing what I need to do to make you happy. Who also has your back no matter what happens. But if you fuck me over you're in for a world of hurt my friend. 78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone? I mean yeah when I play call of duty. 79 - Have you ever been jealous? In the past yeah but not anymore. That's pointless. 80 - How can you prove your love to someone? You shouldn't have to prove your love to anyone. 81 - What are you thinking right now? Should I eat or sleep. 82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts? Amanda Ono. 83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? Nah. I mean there's been shitty ones and ones I wish I could but I never would. 84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? Nope. I know exactly how to find the words to explain how I feel. 85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? Yeah of course. Have you met me? 86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? Indeed I have. 87 - Do you have trust issues? Not really. Until you give me a reason to have trust issues with you. 88 - Are you broken-hearted? Indeed. 89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”? ......oh I'd rather not answer that. 90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it? It's more than worth it. 91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? No fuck that. That's a fools wish. 92 - Who do you want to marry? My non existent girlfriend 93 - Do you believe in destiny? Lol nah fuck destiny. 94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”? I have. Once or twice. 95 - How do you look right now? Like a mess cause I woke up way too early to do my hair lol 96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? Ehhhh.... idk. 97 - Have you found your true love? I think they're lost. 98 - What should you be doing right now? Sleeping 99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. Amanda. 100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? All the time.