#(or probably 'aced' don't remember when was that posted 😅)

[accirax]

As of the latest episode, with all the secrets out in the open, do you have any changed opinions on the general outcomes of your “Secret Swap: For Better or Worse”?

Now that is a fantastic question! Thank you for remembering that this post existed-- I wasn't sure if anybody other than me did 😅 (And also, thank you for your patience while waiting for me to respond to you.) Here's a link to the post in question for anyone who might not know what fatherfigurefusion is asking about. As for the contents of that AU...

DRDT Secret Swap AU: For Better or Worse - REVISIONS

(CW for the suite of issues that we always have to talk about when it comes to the DRDT secrets: murder, death, suicide, implied homophobia/transphobia, self harm, eating disorders.)

Well, first of all, it's good for me that (other than the Xander/Teruko swap thing still not being confirmed) all of the secrets landed in the way in which I thought they would at the time I wrote that post. I would have had a lot more workshopping to do if, say, Hu had been the murderer without remorse and Levi had been the hopeless child.

I think I'll run through each choice I made individually, and then maybe try to fix any issues I encounter at the end after summing up the situation.

The Good Timeline

Eden receives Levi’s secret

Well, Eden did have a more negative reaction to Levi's secret than I initially anticipated in this post, criticizing him for being selfish in hardly even remembering whose lives he took. However, Levi also (presumably) has a more positive reaction to being approached with his secret than I feared. He was willing to share it with everyone himself, so I doubt he would threaten Eden if she were to approach him with it.

An updated summary of what might have happened: Eden receives Levi's secret, and is a little frightened, but might want more details before judging Levi fully (after all, she already knows that his family weren't the best of people). If she decides to approach him about it, Levi coolly explains what exactly his secret means. Eden's discomfort grows, which makes Levi feel bad.

Is it a fantastic scenario? Not really. But are there any better solutions to Levi's secret out there? Debatable. I think this one held up decently.

Nico receives David's secret

I still stand by this one, despite David being even more wild than initially expected. There's definitely a chance that Nico would just bluntly say the secret at some point if they determined that David was being manipulative. But, at the very least, Nico wouldn't be bringing their own drama to the situation-- just potentially elevating others' via timing.

It's a hard secret to deal with, but I still think that Nico is one of the better options.

Hu receives Ace's secret

So, this one obviously gains the new complications that we now canonically know that Ace was the killer, and that he was planning to do so basically before the motives were even revealed. I still think that Hu would probably react in much the way I "predicted" (assuming Ace's former bullying of Nico didn't already damn him in her eyes too much). But, I also don't think that hearing kind words from Hu would be enough to dissuade Ace from wanting to kill for his own safety.

Therefore, what happens to Hu after Ace kills? Is she now stuck in the opinion of defending Ace at the Class Trial, and being inevitably disappointed when he's revealed to truly be the killer? I guess that's not that different from what Hu canonically did with Nico, but it's not like that's going to be great for her mental health either. Not to mention 1) she would have been speaking up for a previously more controversial figure, therefore bringing her judgment even further into question for ever trusting Ace at all, and 2) Ace would actually die at the end, which would be worse for Hu's "wanting to be reliable and save people" bit.

For those reasons, I think this assignment is... dubious, but Ace's secret is also much more of a loaded gun now that we know that he was already planning to kill prior to the secrets' existence. I don't think there's any assignment I could make that would convince Ace out of killing.

J receives Eden's secret

This one still makes a ton of sense to me.

Rose receives J's secret

While I may wind up shuffling this one around in order to defuse another secret's problem, I think the logic behind this assessment holds true.

"Xander" receives Arei's secret

Also still makes sense to me. Let my girl rest. (But not in peace.) (Well, wait.) (You know what I mean!!!)

Arturo receives Min's secret

I don't think that any of our further explanations of Arturo's traumas would make the "poisoning the competition" secret any more traumatic to him. Thus, it still works.

David receives Xander's secret

I. Um. Wow.

I'm pretty certain I wasn't the only one caught off guard by the true extent of how much David cares/d about Xander. With the "knowledge" that David was planning on throwing the killing game and slaughtering everyone in pursuit of Xander's ideals-- taking into account that his actions may have been falsified/exaggerated, of course-- I fear that leaving David with this secret might be irresponsible.

If his emotions surrounding Xander grew even fiercer, so might his determination to bring the killing game to an end. No matter how much what David said in the Class Trial was the truth, I don't think giving him Xander's secret would have the "out of commission" effect I wrote about. This is definitely one I'd like to reassign, if possible.

Arei receives Whit's secret

Now, we have the confirmation that Arei didn't tell anyone about having Levi's secret! We still (understandably) don't know anything about Arei's relationship with her mom, though. Still, this one is looking good.

Veronika receives Charles' secret

As it turns out, Veronika actually found the secrets overall pretty boring (or at least, so she tells us), and only didn't reveal Hu's secret because of the pact she made with Hu. However, I still think that the logic behind her revealing the secret to Charles early holds, and that it's for the best that Charles learns this information on the sooner side. So, this one is still good!

Levi receives Arturo's secret

Well. We know that Levi wouldn't condemn someone for murdering a family member! If anything, if he treated Felicity's death like his own father's, he'd just forget that he ever read the secret. That's a joke, but I think I did a good job with deescalating Arturo's secret.

The worst consequences I can see here are 1) Levi coming to believe that Arturo is a bad person (which may have been the case already?), and/or 2) Levi could callously spill Arturo's secret to the group if he didn't understand the gravity of the sentiment. We don't exactly know how Arturo would react to his secret being shared publicly in a non-Class Trial setting, but given how he treated Eden in his mini-breakdown in 2-10, I can't imagine it would be good.

However, those are only hypotheticals, and I don't know if I'd really get any better by giving Arturo's secret to someone else. I still stand by most of the logic, so I think this choice would remain.

Ace receives Veronika's secret

I still think that nothing bad would happen from this assignment. Which means... Ace would proceed in his plan to kill Eden. Yay...?

Now that we finally have the answer as to who the killer is, it's really weird to look at this good AU. Every time, I'm like, "phew, we didn't do anything to give someone the motivation to kill!" But, as I don't think there are any secrets Ace could receive that would convince him not to kill, that just means that the "good timeline" is condemning Eden to die. Is that really better than some of the other timelines?

That's a bit more philosophical than I think is required for this AU re-analysis, so we'll just give this one a pass.

Teruko receives Hu's secret

Honestly, I think this one got better since I proposed it. This was probably my least favorite assignment of the original good AU. However, now we know that Hu had interest in forming a pact of secrecy with the person who held her secret.

Naturally, it's possible that she was only able to make this pact with Veronika because they had each other's secrets. I have no idea how Hu would have figured out that Veronika had her secret otherwise, barring a Hu!Mastermind situation.

However, as we saw in canon, Teruko decided to approach Rose and ask Rose about her secret. If Teruko did that in this AU, then Hu could surely ask Teruko not to tell others about her secret, and I imagine Teruko would oblige. It removes the possibility I was worried about with Hu feeling insecure about someone learning this about her; while that may still be the case, we can assume that instead of lashing out, she would just ask Teruko to keep it on the down low. This one's good!

Charles receives Rose's secret

I mean. Yeah.

Whit receives Nico's secret

Yeah x2. I do wonder how Whit would react if Nico tried to ask him for help with regards to Ace's bullying, though. I doubt that would actually happen, given that Nico doesn't trust anyone. Still, I'm curious if Whit would turn a blind eye like he did to their arguing canonically, or if that direct connection to Nico's mental health would call him to action a la Charles.

"Min" receives Teruko's secret

If David's creepy-ass smile didn't convince you that this secret should remain dead and buried, I don't know what will. This one can stay.

-

Finally, we've finished recapping the good version! In the end, I was still happy with 13/16 of my answers, which is a pretty good batting average.

But, how would I fix it? Well, as I alluded to in Rose's section, I think I would wind up giving Rose a different secret than J even though it was fine, just because Rose is a really useful slot to have. The best solution I could come up with is that Rose gets Ace's secret, David gets J's secret, and Hu gets Xander's secret.

I don't think that anyone would get mad at Rose for throwing away Ace's secret because it's pretty personal and likely not murder-related. And, Veronika was able to figure out that the secret belonged to Ace mere moments after hearing it for the first time anyways.

While giving David's secret to J is a bit of a dangerous game, I don't think he'd really be able to do much with it pre-Trial without blowing his cover. He might reveal the secret at the Trial just to throw things off track, but even when the secret was with Rose, it probably would have been revealed via process of elimination at the Trial anyways. We don't get the "take David out of commission" factor that made the assignment extra good the first time around, but that was a fluke. I don't think there's anything here that could stop David from David-ing.

I am banking on the fact that learning about Xander's suicidal tendencies wouldn't reignite any old feelings in Hu, but I think it would be okay. I would imagine that their circumstances are pretty different, and (on the surface, at least) Hu seems pretty resolute in her newfound desire to live.

As for Levi's secret, I think the best path for it would be to bury it in the "Xander" or "Min" slot and hand Eden either Arei or Teruko's secrets. Obviously, both of those are very loaded choices, given that Arei and Teruko are almost certainly the two characters that Eden is most connected to in the narrative right now.

In Arei's case, if Eden approached her about her secret, I think that encounter would play out much like the canonical clock-making scene did. However, that means that (if David is still in the area, I guess) they would also have that same rebound that would lead to Arei declaring herself Eden's friend-- albeit probably not as dramatically, given that in this universe, Arturo never attacks Eden. Of course, if Ace is still in the area, that then raises the question of whether the target would still change from Eden to Arei if Arei didn't make such a bold declaration. Which is the better scenario? That's impossible to say, because they both suck. Still, things to think about.

In Teruko's case, it really depends on how kindhearted Eden is feeling at the moment. I want to believe that Eden would approach "the killing game is all your fault" with skepticism and patience, and talk to Teruko to learn that she (most likely) has no memory of anything like this being the case. If Teruko could see that Eden wouldn't immediately turn against her at her literal worst, it would probably go a long way. That being said, it would be totally reasonable for Eden to be upset and worried about reading this secret, and to therefore begin to distrust Teruko.

Both of these situations raise enough issues that I can't decisively determine if they're better than just leaving Eden with Levi's secret. I'll leave it up to you to decide which iteration you personally prefer.

On to the bad section!

The Bad Timeline

As I said in the original AU post, it's difficult to determine which options are truly the worst when there are so many terrible options. Therefore, I expect that most-if-not-all of these options will still get a pass at least. We'll see if I wind up having enough brain cells to change anything in the end.

And, on that note...

Ace receives Levi's secret

Yeah, this one is still bad! Knowing what we know now, Ace is definitely killing if he gets Levi's secret, possibly faster. I do wonder if it would wind up leading Ace to target Levi, even if I'm not sure how he would pull that off. If Ace tried and failed, could it lead to Levi killing Ace instead? Eh, Ace probably wouldn't even try, given that everyone would suspect him if Levi were to turn up dead. "A reason to stay mad at you," indeed.

Veronika receives David's secret

The logic behind this one still cracks me up. Totally still think I'm right, though.

Levi receives Ace's secret

This one is okay. Really, the pushback I'm running into is just that things are already so bad with Ace that I don't think this extra layer of distrust would make things all that much worse. Plus, I don't know if Levi would pick up on the subtler implications of Ace's secret anymore. The question is just, "is there a better way that we can screw over Levi in this situation?" We'll just have to wait and see.

"Xander" receives Eden's secret

Sorry for kinda closeting you, Eden. But, that's what makes this selection so bad. And that's why it stays.

Arturo receives J's secret

There's no way to make J more miserable than to directly hand her secret over to Arturo. We'll continue sticking with canon on this one.

Hu receives Arei's secret

I didn't even mention in my original passage that Hu's love for her family would put her at odds with Arei's treatment of her sisters. That's really terrible, I say with a thumbs up.

Rose receives Min's secret

Tracks.

Teruko receives Xander's secret

While the whole David thing didn't really pan out, I do think that Teruko's segment still makes sense. It's possible we could do worse, but it's not like giving Teruko more reasons to hate herself is a terrible conclusion. I mean, it is, but not for the sake of crafting the worst possible timeline. You know how it is.

Charles receives Whit's secret

Charwhit angst :((((( Good thing that'll never happen in canon! Ha ha. This section is oxygen-potassium, which would also be potassium oxide (K2O), a corrosive compound! Or, you can just call it O-K.

Whit receives Charles' secret

Meanwhile, this section gets a heart from me.

Arei receives Arturo's secret

So if Arturo were in this even worse mental state after Arei wrecking his shop, possibly even being the blackened himself, would Levi also die? Because, Teruko was presumably planning on enacting her plan no matter who the blackened was, and DefaultTV would presumably always punish Teruko for it, and Levi (unless he too was too distracted by this motive) would probably still step in front of Teruko to repay his "debt" to her. However, if Arturo was either the one up for execution or too hateful of himself or anyone else to be spurred to surgery, we'd probably lose Levi too. It's even worse than I thought! Which means it's fully approved.

David receives Veronika's secret

Although this one kinda reads to me as "not that bad," it's important to keep in mind that I gave David a "not that bad" secret so that he would continue to encourage other people to share theirs. That's important for screwing over everyone else. So, I think this one will remain, but I could see blowing it up if it would help something else worsen.

Nico receives Hu's secret

This choice has always been one that I've felt was difficult to talk about, as was probably apparent by the million disclaimers I put at the beginning of it. Because of that, I'm sort of inclined to dissolve it. However, I... think it still holds up?

We also now have the direct confirmation that Hu wanted to keep her secret under wraps because she didn't want others to see her as weak or unreliable. If Nico was holding on to Hu's secret, she would likely only figure that out in a moment of stress, when people needed her to be reliable the most. My point is, she might go into further overdrive trying to prove to Nico that she really is reliable, which would only make things more stressful for Nico and more annoying for everyone else. With that additional reasoning, I don't currently see any reason why this should be changed.

"Min" receives Rose's secret

I didn't realize before that I had Rose and Min swap secrets-- not that it really matters, given that I could have just as easily given Rose's secret to "Xander." Anyways, this also tracks.

Eden receives Nico's secret

I still feel mean for this one 😅 But, y'know, that's just what life is like for a professional Eden Bully. Which is worse, threatening a lesbian with homophobia or falsely accusing her of murder for a year and a half? (/j) Jokes aside, this will remain.

J receives Teruko's secret

Guys, did you know that J HATES MURDER? Forget the theorist's "I feel like" disqualifier, J would definitely tell everyone and their annoying celebrity mom that everything in Teruko's life is worth killing for. Like a fine wine, this got better with age.

-

Unsurprisingly, after what I predicted at the beginning, I wound up approving 15/16 of these options. The only one I really had any issues with was Levi getting Ace's secret.

The worst secret for Levi to receive would probably be either something that makes him perceive a "good person" as a "bad person" or a "bad person" as a "good person." So, like, Teruko maybe for the former? And the worst person for Ace's secret to go to would probably be someone who would outright weaponize it against him, so possibly someone like Arei or David.

If I wanted to shuffle things around, I think it would give David Ace's secret and give Levi Veronika's secret. Ace's secret is also the kind of juicy insight that could still allow David to pull his manipulator BS, and David could absolutely destroy that man in the Class Trial, blackened or not, with the info when the time was right. Meanwhile, I could see Levi being like, "well, if it's stopping Veronika from hurting herself, then... her talent is a "good" thing, right? Every day I grow more jealous of you and your amazing perception, Veronika..." Honestly, I think I do like that one more than what I originally wrote. Let's roll with it.

And now, nearly two months after this ask was sent in, I'm finally done with it! Once again, I'm sorry I spent so long to complete this relatively simple ask. I hope this lived up to your expectations! Thanks for sending it in :)

[epersonae]

Director's cut of "For The Benefit of All the Broken Hearts", please! (p.s. - is it annoying if I send more than one of these? I have Curiosity)

I saw that it was for the whole fic and I just [stares into space] - because not only is it 62,158 words, which is a lot of words, for me anyway, but it also is one of those stories that occupied my entire brain for months on end, and is still kind of a core part of my personality. I could probably do a whole Taika-commentary-track-of-Boy thing with it, and be equally weird and revealing. 😅

But in trying to pick out a single aspect to write commentary, I realized I've never written the post I've been threatening to write for a year (WHAT), which is what I learned about writing an unnamed protagonist. (Or at least I can't find anything in the #carlita coded content tag.) It's now been a year, so it's likely I will miss something important, but it was such a striking learning experience that I think I can do pretty well with it.

This got long, so more under the cut:

Because aside from being obsessed by the subject matter and vibes and all that, writing for the benefit of all the broken hearts was an incredible boost in my writing craft. (the other big boost was around dramatic pacing and narrative tension and foreshadowing, btw.)

She didn't have a name in the original, and deliberately so, and I was committed to that in my work. See also: Rebecca; this post's tags has some thoughts about Rebecca as a narrative influence in addition to the technical aspects. And unlike Rebecca, I was writing in close third person. (One of the reasons that when I'm feeling particularly cocky I will say SUCK IT DAPHNE DU MAURIER.)

And that's not that hard to do when there's only two characters in a scene and they use different pronouns, but so much of the story is her and Mary. (this post made me laugh A LOT) Which means I can't use pronouns to do the lifting, instead I had to think about other ways to handle it structurally.

Using Mary's name probably more than I would normally, to be quite honest. Her name is in many more dialogue tags and starting actions than I think it would be otherwise, because if Mary's doing one action, she's doing the other action; if Mary is saying one bit of dialogue, she's saying the other.

Using line breaks strategically, clearly separating character actions; and I think over time this actually made a difference in distinguishing how they act (and speak) differently from one another, that carried over to her interactions with Ed and Stede as well. And that carries over to how Mary also becomes a more distinct character.

In some cases, this went as far as actually rearranging the physical action. I don't remember the precise details, but there's something about when they first go into the kitchen in Ch 15, when Stede is making drinks, where you have all four characters directly interacting: I reworked who was doing what where to disambiguate which "she" I'm talking about.

There's also a lot of very fiddly sentence rewording, rethinking every individual sentence, and does every clause need to be there, and what is every single sentence doing. Because there's a lot of ways of writing that are "natural" (aka I have been writing fiction off and on since I was probably nine years old, and even with a wholeass English degree and a lot of supplemental reading about craft, I'm still kind of intuitive about my writing) that lead to structures where clearly her name would go here, but I can't do that, so: is the sentence working? Should it get flipped the other direction? Do I need a paragraph break? Is it okay if it's a little ambiguous -- there's a line in one of the coffeeshop scenes where it's kind of unclear which one of them does some gesture or another, and I decided that the ambiguity worked, actually.

And then probably my favorite craft becomes theme trick, particularly where there's sort of a repetition of sentence structure, or where Mary has been doing something and her actions are in reaction to that: sometimes it makes it work to just remove the subject of the sentence. Walks across the room. Picks up her coffee. It both somehow makes things clearer despite offering less detail AND reinforces this thematic thing of her being both absent and present.

Bonus difficulty level, btw: even if epithets had made sense for the tone (which they did occasionally, iirc), I deliberately chose to have very limited physical description of both her and Mary, on account of them both being amalgams not of actor and character (like Ed, Stede, Jim, Roach, etc), but of either two real people and real person and character played by a different real person respectively. They are both entirely secret third thing, and giving them things like hair color/style (beyond a vague reference to length) or eye color takes that away. (Instead they have some details of their overall physicality - age, respective heights - and clothing, both of which also tie into the themes of the thing.)

Honestly, overall it was an interesting creative puzzle, and I learned a ton -- Through the Storm, which is a very very very different story, owes a lot to it, and I've managed to commit to the bit through all the missing scenes fic (altho since a lot of that is alternate POV, there's a lot of "Ed's wife" construction, which is not my favorite) and the alternate bad endings fic.

tagging the beta team in case anybody has anything to add; this was very much a group project, esp in identifying places where it was clear to me but not to other people: @emi--rose @veeagainsttheday @gaypiratebrainrot

also, going to leave this here - when I went to ECCC in 2023 the original artist of this meme was selling versions with a blank word balloon and you could have her write in something, and I got it left blank with the idea that I would write other things on the plastic or if ever get a glass frame, but uh, it's been Carlita? since March of 2023.

there's so many other things I could have written about at this length about this story (both specific details and the thematic stuff), I'm serious.

and to answer your ps: NOT ANNOYING AT ALL. clearly I enjoy talking about my writing. :D

[director's commentary asks]

[pan-but-meh-pt2]

Hello~! I am taking the post I had from my old account and putting them here now! And what do ya know! It's spicy time! I will be starting off with dick head cannons... No one judge me lol. These will include the length, width, hair, just a general description (and maybe how good they can use it will be done later lol) NOW LET'S GET STARTED!

Warnings: Dick talk. Slightly accurate animal proportions for the beast men. Just SPICE!!!

Credits for art pieces below to rightful creator

Heartslabyul

Riddle

To start off ain't no way this boy has a big dick with all the love to him

I will say he has an average sized one, about 4 inches, 5 when hard

And it's also not that wide, but like not completely skinny either

In fact it's actually a bit thicker towards the base

I see people say this and I agree that his tip is a pretty shade of red, a little bigger than the cock but not as large as the base

Now as for hair, he is definitely well trimmed, there's just a tiny patch there that's the same red as his hair of course

Overall it's a pretty cute cock

Trey

Say it with me now. LONG AND THICK!!!

Well, ok, let's be honest, it's probably not that thick, but it's thicker than normal and you could feel it

This boy is def about e 7.5 or 8.5, no question, won't take complaints

His tip is a little bigger, but not much, and more pink then red, though it does go bright red when hard

Now the hair is well trimmed but still pretty there

Def pressing into your nose while you go down on him with your mouth

And he'd like it too lol

11/10 would look at again

Cater

Excuse me while I just slides over a card that says it's pierced

hm? I didn't say anything

But for real, I bet that boy has at least got a Prince Albert piercing right there, hitting that spot

A good 7 inches long

The width is actually pretty skinny, but that ain't a bad thing lol

Cause know what?

His tip makes up for it

Not even including the Prince Albert, his tip is pretty large, but not so large it's out at proportion

And his whole dick fades into a nice blushy pink, with the tip slightly darker cause why not!

And it is def curved up a bit so it REALLY hits

This boy has a TRAIL!!!!!!

He decorates it all nice and pretty, leaving that bit to tease his simps with (me, I am simps)

He doesn't even let it get out of control

Hot as hell and he knows it

Ace

I wanna be mean to him and day "itty bitty dick committee" but... He's slightly above average, let's admit it oops, still mean 😅

I'll be nice to him and says he's about and 5.5 in height and length smacked ALRIGHT I'LL STOP!

But yeah, like I said, slightly abovebaverage

The width is actually the thickest of the Heartslabyul boys, can stretch you pretty damn good

The tip is the same width, and a more blushy red then Riddle, but not as light as Cater's

Now his hair, uh....

It's a bit of a bush

NOT EVEN THE ATTRACTIVE WAY, LIKE A MESSY WAY

He remembers every about 2 or 3 monthsbto shave it down, and he doesn't even dobit that much

So, dick is pretty, shave down the bush and I would say a 10 outta 10

Deuce

Oh, this poor virgin boy Imao

HIS DICK IS SO PRETTY BUT SO UNUSED!!!!

Like you're saying a good 6 inches, slightly thick where it counts, and pretty beyond belief

His tip is another one that is slightly bigger than the rest, in the cutest shade of pink

His hair is also almost a clean shave, like a little trail

In total it is so FUCKING PRETTY AND I WANNA-bleeps

Ah thank you, 15/10 would recommend

Savanaclaw

Leona (animal leaning)

NOW PEOPLE KEEP SAYING HUGE DICK, AND I WANNA BELIEVE IT, BUT!!!!! BUT BUT BUT!!!!

Lion's dicks are tiny as all hell

(Don't ask why, just know I put myself through torture for entertainment)

So let's say for animal leaning he'd 3.5

HE'S HELLA THICK THO, SO HE'S GOT THAT FOR HIM!

Probably in the top 5 of thickest cocks

Gets thinner more towards the tip, but still thick

Tip is a nice pink shade, and it's only on the tip, everywhere else is the same color as his skin

Also, bumpy as hell, my lord

As little as there is it is covered in bumps and thick veins

BUSHIEST MOFO IN THE DAMN SCHOOL!!!

Like damn, take a razor to that shit, or at least trim it!!!!!

Literally Ruggie had to threaten to drag him to the bathroom and do it himself to get him to do it

(Still took to much effort to get him to do it though, my lord)

Overall, not bad, needs better maintenance though 😒

Leona (human leaning)

Just so y'all know, in future fics you will never know which type I am using, could be the more animal like or more human like lol, so good luck all you Leona simps on my page

Now, lemme just clears throat

LONG AND THICK!!!!

No matter which way, it is thick, but more human like is thick throughout, not skinner towards the tip

This man is like 8.5 inches, maybe 9, but for your sake, well say 8.5

As for the bumps they're not as bad and are now just veiny as hell

The tip is the same, along with the bush 😒

Again, big as hell, not bad to look at, LEARN TO USE A DAMN RAZOR!!!!

Ruggie

NOW THIS ONE IS THE SAME EITHER WAY!!!

Long. As. HELL!!!

Solid 7.5 hard inches on this man, no cap

SKINNY-!! Skinny, skinny, skinny! Still feels good, but don't hope for a stretch with him

In fact it could probably slide in easily!

That is.... If you can get past the tip 😈

Cause his tip is a good bit bigger than his dick!

And it has a fade to pink at the tip

Don't even get me started on the curve OOF!

I had a nice upwards curve so it really hits all the spots you want

Now for the hair...I'll admit, it's kinda bushy

NOT AS BAD AS LEONA, but probably a more tamed version of that

Also part of the trail gang (those are hella hot, convince me otherwise!)

Overall, very nice, and not bad to look at

Jack

Ok y'all, this one is hard to do animal accurate, because people are freaks and like animal dildos, but I'll try

OK, FIRST OFF, LENGTH! I'd give a solid 8 or 9!

It's actually paler then the rest of his body, with some parts a pink shade, his tip as well

Speaking of the tip, it's actually a bit smaller then the rest

Now for the width... Let's say when he's not hard it's slightly average in width, and when hard above average is the best way to describe it

It'll still feel good! So don't worry!

Now for hair I feel like he's between having almost as much as Leona or being like Ruggie and knowing how to trim it

Def more towards Ruggie, and def does it more often then those two!

But he just grows hair fast, he can't help it

A pretty good dick overall

Octavinelle

Azul

Another virgin bay with a hella cute dick!!

Now this one is more on the average side of length, slightly above, standing at 6 inches

It's actually pretty chubby/thick, specially at the center and base

A nice blushy pink throughout it Seriously, it's so pretty and cute, wtf, gimme a chance with it-COUGH COUGH, ANYWAY!

The tip is slightly darker than the rest but not by much, and is also the same size as the rest

Now for his hair-wait, I mean, what hair?

Yep, he's hairless down there! He shaves it down to the skin once it starts getting outta control ACE, LEONA, TAKE SOME DAMN NOTES!!!

He has a slight curve right and downwards, and it feels pretty good! (Specially doggy style AHEM AHEM)

Overall, 10/10, would recommend

Jade

AHEHEHEHEHE, OH BOY, THIS MAN!!!

Long, 9 inches, VEINY VEINY VEINY!!!!

Gets thicker towards the base, but still pretty damn skinny!

I don't think I said veiny, did I? Oh well, I'll do it again VEINY!!!!

He has a slight curve to the left cause reasons 😃

Now, let's talk hair

Not bad down there, like there's some, but it's not a bush

And I'mma say it hey, no, stop. I'mma say it-HE HAS A TRAIL!-knocked out

Ugh, what? Oh

So yeah, pretty damn good dick

Floyd

Well...they are twins...in every sense 😅😅😅

The hair is also worst down there

DICKS ARE NEAR IDENTICAL!!!

SAME LENGTH, SAME WIDTH, SAME TYPE OF TIP, IDENTICAL!!

Now here are the differences

Instead of the left Floyd's curves to the right (you'll have to guess why~)

For Floyd I would say he is the less clean down there version of Jade, he is way more scruffy and jacked up down there

So I'll say, if he cleans it up a bit, he's golden

Scarabia

Kalim

OH BOY, YALL BETTER BE READ FOR THE LEVEL OF SIMPING THESE TWO BRING OUT OF ME, LIKE DAMN!!!!! WHY THE WHOLE DORM GOTTA BE ATTRACTIVE!?!?!?!

Ahem, ahem anyway, onto the dicks!!!

.... Pierced, AHEM I MEAN WHAT?!?! But fr, he had a Jacobs ladder and a reverse prince albert, cause why the hell not 😅

Now, the length is more on the average side, standing at 5 inches

The width is pretty good!

Slightly above average but thicker towards the base

The tip is a vibrant red against his skin, as thick as the base, and just UGH, HE'S SO ATTRACTIVE!!!

Now the hair....meh, it's a bit of a bush, but more of a controlled bush

Overall, 10/10

Jamil

.... I am such a simp for these two 😂😂😂

ANYWAY, LET'S START OFF, HE'S 7 INCHES!!!

I feel like he'd be pretty damn veiny, with a very prominent one on the top of his dick

The width, more on the skinny side, but will still have a slight stretch for him

The tip!! His tip is more of a dark red, blending into his skin and fading halfway down

It's also the same width of the dick too

Now the hair is fairly tame down there!

...but he does have a trail and it's hot as HELL!!!!!!!

Ahem! Hey, don't hit me, I stopped-! knocked out again

Ugh, anyway, hella hot, 15/10, would recommend

Pomefiore

Vil

OK, LET'S START OFF WITH HE'S PART OF THE LONG GROUP, GODDAMN!!!

A good 8 inches, with subtle veins

His width is on the skinnier side like Jamil, but also like Jamil, will give you astretch!

Like himself, his dick is just so pretty!

Ugh, I hate this pretty boy

/jk I actually don't mind him

Ok, back on track with the tip

His tip is slightly bigger then the width, and a nice pink shade

Now for the hair, if you think he doesn't take care of his hair down there either, you'd be wrong!

Like Cater, he knows how to decorate it to be pretty for his simps, so there is a barely there trail for that reason

The area they can't see is more compact and well shaved

So, 20/10, pretty nice dick

Rook

This mofo-

Ahem I mean, onto Rook!

I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he's a 6.6, just above average

His width is the same, above average

He will be a stretch tho, but in a good way

He barely uses his dick tho, he mostly prefers using his fingers and tongue-

OFF TOPIC, THAT'S FOR ANOTHER DAY, BACK ON TRACK

The tip, is muah! bigger than the width and it just feels so good!

Now the hair It's almost like Vil's, because he is such a big fan

So, he has a slight trail, but it is more prominent than Vil's

But it's also a bit of a bush

Like a clean one, ya know?

So pretty nice to look at at least!

Epel

SWEET VIRGIN BOY WITH A CUTE DICK SQUAD!!!!

Seriously, like it's a bit on the small side, like about 4-5 inches, but still nice!

A bit chubby towards the base tho, but again! Still nice!

His whole dick is a nice pink throughout, and a darker pink on the tip

And speaking of the tip, it's about as thick as the base is

Now for the hair... Oh boy

Vil would have a heart attack if he knew about it (thankfully he has enough decency to not go that far)

It's a bush, and not in a good way

Like yeah, he trims it every once in a while, but his hair grows fast!

But overall, and hella nice dick!

Ignihyde

Idia

OH BOY THIS ONE!!!

One word: messy

HE'S HELLA LONG, ABOUT 8-9 INCHES!

PRETTY THICK, LIKE ABOVE AVERAGE!

THE TIP IS GOOD TOO, A PINK FADE TO IT

BUT THE HAIR!!!

This boy is worse then Leona

Even the lion dorm leader would cringe

I'm not even sure if he could chop it off cause the hair down there is also fire! Like can he cut his hair?! How would it work?!!

But anyway, yeah 😅😅😅

So it's ok, but damn!

Ortho

ERROR, ERROR, SYSTEM NOT FOUND

Loading next file...

... File loaded

Diasomnia

Malleus

Sebek, down boy, NO SEBEK DOWN!

...Anyway, ahem, Malleus-San

LONGEST BOY HERE, MY LORD!!!

10-11 inches, no cap

The thickness of it, not so much

I will say he is above average-SEBEK, WHAT DID I SAY, DOWN BOY!!

The tip is the same width and same skin color, no pink or red to it

Hair is the next one, and DAMN

He has a bit of a bush, but like it's not out of hands

So overall...Pray for yourself 😬

Lilia

Aha, ahahaha, aha, THIS MAN!!!

He ain't small!!!! I know I made the other shorties have dicks on the smaller side, but not him!!!!

He is a solid 8-9 inches!!!!!

Why, cause I said so, that's why

He's able to change the way it looks and he uses it

Relatively thick, but in an above average way

The tip is thicker then the base and also a dark red shade

The hair is surprisingly tame down there, I will say

So overall, pretty good!

Silver

IF Y'ALL THOUGHT I WAS DOWN BAD FOR SCARABIA, Y'ALL AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET!!!

HE'S SO HANDSOME, AND FOR WHAT?

Ahem, anyway, onto the dick

A good 7 inches, slightly veiny too

(I'll just drop this rq-somnophillia)

HIS WIDTH IS ABOVE AVERAGE, BUT A NICE STRETCH

The tip is fading into a nice blushy pink shade halfway down

His hair is well trimmed...But this one is simply cause I'm a simp for him, he has a trail!

20/10

Sebek

...I like bullying him 😅😅😅

I'LL BE NICE TO HIM FOR THIS ONE THO

So, a solid 7-8 inches on this boy

Also part of the thick squad, kinda like an hourglass style?

Skinnier at the center and thicker everywhere else

The tip is slightly larger than the base and a violent shade of red only on the tip

He has a bit of a bush, and this one is just a fact, he also has a trail

So, enjoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed these head cannons! Inbox is open and you are free to ask or request any of the ones listed in my dash! Enjoy the moment! 🥰

[rita-repulsa-ke]

Agatha Fic Masterpost

I've written a frankly embarrassing amount of stuff for Agatha All Along on tumblr, so I should probably make a post for where to find all of this stuff. Click to see a lot of fics. They're in chronological order of when I wrote them and they have completely useless descriptions.

Anything tagged pre-finale was written before the finale had aired. I went through and bolded the ones I like, but don't take my tastes into account.

Dialogues

afterlife - No spooky ectoplasm? Deal-breaker.

Conversations in the Dark - Agatha doesn't get romance

Flowers for Agatha - Agatha still doesn't get romance

Pranked - Rio doesn't do magic right

Flowers for Agatha Pt 2 - Rio gives Agatha deadlier flowers

a tentative peace - Post-breakup, Rio likes when Agatha talks

bad dream - Rio has a bad dream

Promises - Agatha does like Rio, she's just annoying

Death Gets Sick - Can she even do that? Maybe there's a reason

Agatha and illness - Agatha gets sick. She's not very happy about it

The Anniversary - Agatha should have remembered

Rio is a bad liar - As the name implies

Healthy Communication - Something they don't have

Love Languages - Agatha's love language doesn't work for Rio

Love Languages Pt 2 - Rio is a lovable stalker

Sacred Mysteries - Agatha always wants to know

Flowers for Rio?! - Rio finally gets flowers!

Death Drinks - Alcohol and arrogance

Rio the shark - Doesn't answer the question of what people dying feels like to Rio

Reincarnation - I remembered the show made reincarnation canon 😅

Next Time - Post-breakup. Agatha is mean, but also secretly clingy

Short

Unnamed WW2 drabble 1 and 2 - First thing I wrote, still like it.

Mentorship - Kind of mean. Pre-finale

Kisses - Still my kissing headcanon for them. Pre-finale

ghosts - Too cutesy. Pre-finale

Rain Check - Flirting, silliness. Pre-finale.

The catch - Very silly fluff. Pre-finale.

beginnings and ends - Short, angst. Pre-Finale

All Things End - Agatha and Rio argue about the Darkhold. Pre-finale.

The Impatience of Agatha Harkness - She really is. Pre-finale

Loneliness - Agatha needs someone to lean on. Post-breakup

The vow - Agatha makes a vow. Post-breakup.

The witch who cried wolf - Agatha is so annoying I love her

The thief - Things Rio knows about Agatha, post-breakup

Death sleeps in - Rio enjoys a very human pleasure

Rio stays - Even now, Agatha doesn't really want her to leave

The rabbit - What did happen to Agatha's pet?

Nicky - I wanted to feel sadder than the show made me feel

the apple - Rio sees the future and doesn't like it

Scarlet - Agatha has trauma

First Meeting - Their meet-cute, over a pile of bodies

A Dance with Death - Sometimes Agatha gets it right

The wedding - They don't get married, sorry

Nap time - Agatha hallucinates one (1) whole Rio

Death on Drums - Rio thinks about Agatha singing

Death and Time - Agatha and Rio, at the end

Agatha In Flight - Agatha exists in a state of continuous denial

Death's Hand in Mine - It's just Rio being in love

tommy - Tommy Maximoff lives! Who is he?

A Sudden Proposal - Agatha thinks she is very funny

Agatha Sleeps - Agatha, Nicky and Rio. Single parenting is hard.

Agent Vidal - Rio and Agatha in Westview

The nice one - Which one of them is the nice one (neither)

Predetermination - Why did Rio give Agatha more time?

Death and Nicky - I want them to hang out

Inevitabilities - Some things must be

Long

the talk - The relationship talk. Pre-finale

scars - Agatha kills Rio on accident. It's romantic! Pre-finale

The witch-hunter Pt 1 - Agatha, Rio. A witch-hunter. Pre-finale

The witch-hunter Pt 2 - now a killing eve crossover. Pre-finale

The Present - Some great angst on all sides. Post-breakup.

The mistake - Rio says the wrong thing. Post-breakup.

Jealousy - Fighting, flirting, Rio is jealous. Post-breakup.

The veil - Agatha does a spell. Post-breakup.

Flirting - Agatha is secretly kind of insecure

Death and the Scarlet Witch - Rio vs Wanda

The many husbands of Agatha Harkness - Agatha is funny

The Accusation - Post-breakup, Rio is nice-ish. Agatha angsts

The Reveal - Agatha discovers Rio's true nature

Death in Second - Rio deals with Agatha, in second person

Death Waits - Rio likes Agatha, but really does want her dead

AO3

Ritual of the Rose - Relationship fix-it fic post show. I can make them better or possibly worse!

[faejilly]

last week's Weekly Tag Wednesday: Firsts

tagged by @michellemisfit no pressure tagging: @twistedsinews @breadedsinner @indigorally @lynne-monstr @bettydice & anyone who would like to play along

Name: jilly

Age: I am older than the meaning of life, the universe, and everything

First Pet: I believe we had a budgie (parakeet) when I was very little, but I don't so much remember said budgie as I remember that I remembered him when I was 5, if that sentence makes sense?

The first pet I remember was a cat named Gandalf (the Grey).

First Word: no fucking clue. I don't know what my kids' first words were either, sorry?

First Celebrity Crush: / First IRL Crush: I am grey-ace enough to have no answer to this. what are crushes? how do?

First Kiss: in college (see above 😅)

First Car: A pontiac something? it was blue and its transmission died after maybe a year, because it was Very Used (and I was Very Broke, so that was not fun)

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents: Yes? I don't understand this question, I do in fact no longer live with my mother. (I had a dorm room at the one year of college I successfully completed? Then we had a series of varying degrees of cheap apartments. Currently we have a house because my husband has a very responsible Real Job and supports me and my magpie brain, we are very lucky that he can do that.)

First Time on a Plane: When I was 7 or 8 we did a plane trip to visit friends of ours in Virginia (we lived in Wisconsin, for those of you familiar enough with US geography that this means anything).

First Cellphone: Nokia something? It was one of their classic bricks

First Concert: Does a Sesame Street concert when I was 6 count?

First Foreign country you visited? Iceland! Family reunion when I was nine. I went again for the next family reunion when I was 19, but have not managed the 29 or 39 ones, and mostly don't talk to that side of the family anymore so probably won't get invited to the one when I'm 49.

First sport you ever played? I do not sport

First career aspiration? Mermaid (when I was four). Despite hating swimming lessons? I think I wanted to just... be able to swim with none of that learning bullshit.

Actual Real Career: I wanted to be a pathologist for the longest time, but I am not actually very good at school, so I had mostly given up on that by the time I managed to graduate high school.

Now I'm mostly just trying to get a good counselor/med cocktail so I can do anything consistently so. :sighs: SUGGESTIONS ON FUTURE CAREERS WELCOME *snerk*

And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think “wow”

I was an occasional hobby writer most of my life, but probably when I did Lost for Words because it was the first long/chaptered fic I'd ever written and posted and finished.

Honorable mention to the summer in high school when I took a notebook with me to band camp and spent half my down time sitting outside with a flute case beside me (or leaning against the alto sax case for week two) writing in a notebook and confusing the hell out of everyone who saw me because there was also a creative writing group on that same campus so I looked like I was trying to be in both at once. I was weirdly proud of the chaos vibes there.

for copy pasting:

Name:

Age:

First Pet:

First Word:

First Celebrity Crush:

First IRL Crush:

First Kiss:

First Car:

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents:

First Time on a Plane:

First Cellphone:

First Concert:

First Foreign country you visited?

First sport you ever played?

First career aspiration?

And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think “wow”

[coolcattime]

3, 20, 22, 24!

Quick warning, this is probably gonna turn into a ramble about my hyperfixations! Question 22 is under the read more section and will contain spoilers for Telltale's The Walking Dead. Question 24 will also be under the read more, because I want to post some pictures with and and also this post is getting a little long 😅

3. 1-3 games you’ve played in the past 12 months that you really enjoyed

First! Your Turn to Die: Death Game By Majority. January 2022, my best friend came to my room and told me that we were going to play this together, a game at the time I had heard of but didn't really think was my thing, and I'm so glad they did because my god do I love this game so much. It's a horror adventure game where you play as Sara Chidouin who, alongside her best friend Joe and 9 strangers, finds herself in a death game where they will all be voting for who will die. I highly, highly reccomend this game if you find the concept interesting at all, especially because it's free. There's a Steam release coming soon (which I think is coming along with the last part of the game), but right now you can download and play for free or even play it in browser.

Second! The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles! I finally branched out from just the original Ace Attorney trilogy and I'm enjoying it! I'm currently on the 5th case of the 1st game and genuinely I missed playing Ace Attorney. Ryunosuke very quickly became another favourite messy... I would say lawyer but he isn't a lawyer for the first three cases so he became that slowly. But jokes aside, I love all the characters and also it was really fun to (by coincidence) read the Sherlock Holmes The Adventure of the Speckled Band a few days after playing the case inspired by it and retroactively realising they joke about the solution of the book in the game.

And third! The Dark Pictures: The Devil in Me! I love The Dark Pictures games and this one has my favourite type of character in it: mean lebsian! So clearly it's a 10/10 best game!

20. A boss you think is really cool

I don't play a lot of games with boss fights but I really like the Mr. Freeze boss fight from Batman: Arkham City! I think the concept of a boss literally adapting to what you do so it won't work on them anymore is awesome, even if it wouldn't work outside of the more stealth focused boss like this one. I don't actually remember if I've ever played this boss fight (gonna be honestly, I cannot remember the sequence of events in Arkham City, other than the Catwoman sections), but I have a distinct memory of watching my dad play this fight. He tried to do the same thing twice, and when it didn't work was genuinely shocked because he didn't think the game meant it. And honestly that memory stuck in my head.

22. A game ending that’s really stuck with you

So I thought about this for a little while, because there's a couple of different game endings that I think about a lot but there's only one ending that legitimately made me nervous to replay a play with my bff and that is Telltale's The Walking Dead Season 2. It made me turn Jane from a character that was kind of okay to one of, if not my most hated character from a video game; and god was I really scared to play season two with my friend for fear of them really loving Jane (note: they did not, they also do not like Jane).

To give a little context: I played Episode 5 when it went live, like 11pm at night, achievements still not unlockable. And I was excited. By the time of the finale of the episode, I had already cried once (damn beautiful Lee dream sequence) and was not ready for the baby to be dead. I was not ready for the fight between Kenny and Jane and like, gonna be fully honestly, the first time I played I shot Kenny. I shot my 4th favourite character from the series and cried and had a tearful goodbye. And then the baby started crying.

I think this is the biggest betrayal I'd ever felt in a video game. Like to this day, I really can't gel with the idea of leaving a baby in a car in a snowstorm in a zombie apocolaypse to prove a point. I think it's genuinely very messed up and could never really fathom the idea of staying with Jane after that.

I played through the Alone with AJ ending, though I liked both the Kenny endings a lot more and ended up getting an ending with him when I did my replay for achievements.

Being fully honest, I think this ending stuck with me not just because it made me just so angry with a fictional character but because it seems to come so out of nowhere for it to be Jane. Like I fully expected an ending fight with Kenny and Luke, but then it just isn't.

24. A game with a cool art style

Firstly! Darkest Dungeon! The first one, though I do also think the second one looks really cool, I just personally prefer 2d artstyles. I think this game is beautiful and frankly just looks how a game about gothic and cosmic horror should.

And second! Your Turn to Die (again). I think it has a kind of rough start art wise (like there is some very ugly pixel art in the first half an hour), but once it gets going, it kind of feels like playing a manga. Like there's some screens I would love to show, but they are definitely spoilers and, as much as I really want to make a full post just rambling about this game, I don't really wanna spoil the game when I don't have to. ((Also all my saves for this game are on my friend's laptop and I'm not playing a couple hours for one screenshot))

[solarsavoy]

here's a bunch for the AO3 asks game! 16, 17, 18 & 29!

16 - What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

"Other Additional tags to be Added" is the official one because it usually lists that when I type in "additional tags" anyway. But I find this question confusing. As far as the tags that I add after the additional tags tag, it's probably "Mixed Media Storytelling", which is one that I made and it isn't official, but I try to stay consistent. I almost always forget to add it when I include music or pictures that add to the experience of the fic. In fact, I just double checked to make sure KKII had it, and it does. XD

17 - Your favorite character to write this year?

I was gonna say Shuu, but then I remembered "Seeing Red". I gotta say, Red Eye was surprisingly easy to write despite him being a nonexistent POV in the AC fandom. XD And I'm very proud of it.

The reason I would've said Shuu is because he's more of a challenge than Karma and Nagisa. Karma and Nagisa really feel like Stag and Deshi to me sometimes, so the only thing I have to worry about is making sure Karma and Stag don't sound the same, and that Nagisa and Deshi don't sound the same. I don't have a Shuu-esque OC, so it's fun to try and get in his head and it's a bit easier than it was to be Kyoko or Rio in Students of Despair. I guess I just have a preference for being boys. 🙄😅

18 - The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Kyoko. I always wondered if I made her smart enough, and while it may have fit the character that I recreated in Students of Despair, some of the comments got to me because it was a worry I already had. I really struggled with what her knowledge base was because it felt like I was leading her train of thought too much, whether it was towards or away from the truth it was always a conscious effort, which made her feel inauthentic. It's hard to convey a really intelligent character sleuthing correctly while I already know the answer. So many times I asked myself "but did she find this out through deductive reasoning, or did I just give it to her?" And the end result was making her somewhat slower than her character was in the game.

Or maybe I'm overthinking it. But seriously, that shit was hard. Karma was easier in ASR R3 because I didn't know what the challenges were going to be like until I got there.

29 - Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

This is such a hard question, and the reason I'm taking a moment to answer this ask because I'm going through all my fics and trying to think of what's most memorable so I can find my favorite line/passage in all of it. (I wrote so many words this year! 😭)

Notable lines so far:

[Nagisa emerges from the bathroom, pale as a ghost. “Did we get ‘im?” He weakly asks, collapsing onto the ground.

I laugh, rushing over to his side and helping him out into some clean clothes. “Yeah, we got ‘im.”

“Good...” He smiles as I pull off his shirt and use it to clean off the rest of his face.] Don't Drink and Assassinate: I just love the imagery of this moment. ^^

[He’s such a fucking liar! She doesn’t die, she’s the mastermind!!] Distractions: Best accidental DR reference ever!

[He [Karma] finally partakes in his role as a father and it’s endearing to watch him try to march off with an army of babies behind him.] Students of Despair Alternate Ending: Again, the imagery.

Technically this year... [

unholydarkness: Based on that doll's position, I know exactly where you're at.

masterdollmaker: strangely it ranks 6 on the pleasure scale for that position

blondenotabimbo: omg, i need to reread it w the pleasure doll

krazykarma: y didnt u gimme that 1 too?? whores all of you] Kristmas Karma New Years: There's so much wrong and so much right with this. XD

Technically the chapter was posted last year, but the last update was in this year, and the chapter was actually posted on the 11th, so it's "within" the past year. XD [“What, something wrong with closets?” Stag grins. “Want to talk about your prin—cess again?”

I cry out in embarrassment and push him out as hard as I can. “Why’d it have to be in a closet??” I scream.] ASR Bonus Round: So many easter eggs for book 2, and yet I really need to work on book 2, oh, it's driving me crazy!

Scouring comments referring to favorite lines now...

OMG it was posted this year? Totally including it because Gerit. NSFW warning. ["I want you to have sex with me however you want."] Gerit: Because it's just so like "it's your turn now! Why aren't you doing this?" And Mythren's reaction is just--- *snorts in the background* I fucking love Gerit. XD

I think that's enough scouring for today. I have so many comments... Anyway, thanks for the ask, tuuli! And I guess I don't really have any favorite line, just a bunch of them. 😅 Have a good one!

Ask thing.

[000marie198]

Thanks so much for the tag @disastertwins9000 !

And I have over three hundred wips 😵��💫 I'll add as many as I can for now (or feel like answering about)

Wrong Shoes (Sonic, multichapter)

Mission Impossible (Httyd, most probably a oneshot)

Wandering Spirit (Sonic, multichapter. I took a horse girl movie and tore it apart and switched around the plot and themes and made it a brotherly fic)

Shhhhh! (TMNT 12, oneshot for Brothers)

Strawberry Lemonade Zone (Sonic, wstw, oneshot)

Who's Ferris? (Sonic, oneshot)

About Dr. Delicate Touch (Rottmnt, Analysis)

Warriors of Ochlos (Sonic, longfic. This story is my Magnum Opus. @shadofiredragon has a lot of inside info and it's her favorite unwritten story)

Shifting Dunes (Sonic, Platonic Fairytale Week)

Improvise (TMNT 12, oneshot for Brothers)

The Sky and the Sea (Sonic, multichapter, Sonic and Tails centric)

Crossover Chaos (TMNT 12 and Rottmnt)

I Don't Speak Chao (Sonic, Platonic Fairytale Week)

Heave Ho! (Sonic, wstw)

Entropy Series (TMNT 12, Au fanfic, multichapter series with four books)

Synergy (Sonic - multichapter, post Frontiers)

Grandpa's Favorite (Rottmnt, oneshot)

Sunday Mornings (SCU, extra couple of stories for Platonic Fairytale Week)

Just one! (Haven't decided a fandom yet but it involves brothers so, oneshot)

Welcome to Westside Island (Sonic, for Platonic Fairytale Week+wstw)

I Wish (TMNT 12)

Tails fractured his foot (Sonic, multichapter)

Tales Untold (SCU - possibly scrapped)

The Speed of Shadows (SCU and TMNT 12 crossover. Multichapter)

Last Dragon (Httyd AU, multichapter)

Paths Chosen (Sonic, multichapter, Au)

Corrupted File (Sonic, multichapter)

What if I make an ice age Au with Sonic characters (Sonic, not a story, most probably a silly Au that will have a series of fanarts)

Remember that time when... (TMNT all media types, except maybe rise cuz Leo is the oldest brother in this. Oneshot. Major character death)

Midnight Heist (TMNT 12, oneshot for Brothers)

Limitless (TMNT 12, Racers Au. multichapter. My little brother's infodumping inspired me)

Technobabble (Sonic, oneshot, wstw)

Vast Horizons (Sonic, multichapter.)

33?! Uh, letsee how many people I can tag. I don' have too many frens

@shadofiredragon (accept this because I wanna talk about your stories), @niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian @myyla-x @nixoon-again @brainworms-all-night-long @tmnt-obsessed-ace @endless-exhaustion @bluebunnyears-08 @xxlea-nardoxx @cass-phoenix @misteria247 @sapphiretanto @lieutenantbiscute (I'm sorry, I know you guys have been tagged but I can't think of more people 😭) and .... Uhhh, any writers or artists in my mutuals and followers plz consider yourself tagged I can't remember more names 😅

WIP tag game!

RULES: post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! tag as many people as you have WIPs!

I’m working on something super duper secret so I gotta censor myself here a little, but!

• And The Sky Was Endless

• “You’re doing the thing.”

• What is it that you seek?

• (Un)wanted: Dead or Alive

• Sir Michelancelot’s Quest for Knighthood

I do not know nearly enough people to tag 😭 let’s see… gonna go extremely bold with some of these lmao @mariethemage @mishacakes @rhinocio @galactic-aesir @lunar-lair Hey talented people, get blasted!!

[echoghost1]

Fic Writer Review

Thanks @dekalko-mania for the tag! I had fun with this and it was nice to see my progress both overall and just this year alone.

Also gave me an excuse to post a couple of fics as their own works and not as part of one-shot collections

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

88. Although some are one-shot collections that I have yet to break apart so technically it’d be more?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

285,412 😲

And it’s 175,154 for just 2021 alone! 🤯

For comparison, 2020 it was 58,257

Then again I did phic phight this April and that month alone I wrote 50,357 words so...

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Two. Mostly Danny Phantom, but I got a few Percy Jackson fics too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Ravens of Casper High

Unclaimed

Where The Lines Overlap

Feline Fine

You Walked Right Into This

5. Which of your fics do you want more attention for?

Stone Baby Curse, mostly so I remember it and actually update it 😅

6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

No…. but sometimes I'm not sure what to say, like just saying thanks for a nice comment doesn't seem to be enough or sometimes it's so nice I get so flustered I'm just thinking in keyboard smash. Other times if I answer the question it would spoil upcoming stuff, but I usually try to then answer the person in the upcoming chapter notes so they know I did see their comment.

But sometimes I do.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ignoring the huge pile of wips…

I'd say it's probably Just Because It Didn't Kill You, Doesn't Mean It Isn't Fatal, because of major character death, and it was so slow, and the first time I killed him in a fic. 😭

8. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes! Not often, but yes.

I guess if I have to choose, it'd be the Teen Wolf one, Under the Full Moon.

Partly because I was a little too eager to post the first part when I really hadn't thought enough about where I wanted it to go and how I'm going to get there (and how overly ambitious I'm being by wanting it to be like JAMF). And also I had no idea how little of an overlap there was between the two shows’ fandoms. If you boil them down to their bare essentials, they are really similar shows. Teenager gets turned into a supernatural creature and has to navigate the changes while also keeping their town safe from other supernatural creatures all while keeping a dual identity from the people they care for the most.

Granted, Scott has a way better support group than Danny, but he also deals with more death (in a permanent sense) than Danny.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope. I think that's mostly because I don't think I'm very popular though.

10. Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Nope. Way too Ace for that. 😅

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I think it's for the same reason as the lack of hate comments.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I’m not sure if I would be a good fit for that. When I'm able to write is really hectic and I'd feel bad for making someone wait. (I'm already doing that to my readers)

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

For DP, it's Gray Ghost. I just really liked how their relationship grew in canon (and I think it's really funny that Danny's type is "beautiful women who can kick his ass")

But if we’re talking about my OTP to end all OTPs? Then I have to say Percy & Annabeth from the Percy Jackson series because they are so good together. 🥰

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I want to finish all of them. 😭

I have so many ideas and I don't want to keep them to myself, but then I have all these unfinished works that I've now cursed other people with wanting more.

Every time I get a comment on stuff that I want to continue that says "can't wait for more" or "I wonder what happens next." I'm just sitting there like, "me too. 😢"

But I think the wip that is going to forever just stay a wip is A Bad Idea because I have absolutely no idea what to do with that one.

When I wrote it originally I had this whole thing planed out but then I let it rest and when I looked back on it I was didn’t like it. It covered something that I really don’t like to read and I don’t even know why I was going to write it that way. But I really like the start. It’s so good. It sounds like it’s going somewhere but then that’s it.

I was hoping that if I just posted it anyway I might get an idea or maybe someone else would mention something and I’d get inspired, but nope.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at dramatic tension & surprising the reader with twists. I feel like every time I set up a plot point or introduce a new character, I think I'm being super obvious, but then I'll get comments that try to guess before the reveal and the guess will be some random other thing or after the reveal, I'll get lots of surprise reactions that they genuinely didn't see it coming.

Which is great but I'm also surprised by the surprise. 😆

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing what I start. Updating regularly.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I've occasionally had a word or phrase in another language (using my good buddy Google translate) but I try to keep it very limited because my knowledge of other languages is pretty limited. And a lot of language stuff bleeds into the culture and vice versa and I'd need either contact with someone who is native in that language or to spend a lot of time researching before I did anything super extensive.

So far I've only used some Spanish and it's been in fics (and being used by) Paulina.

I guess my take on using another language in a fic is to use it sparingly and only if it makes sense for a character to use/know the language.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Danny Phantom! It's my one true fandom! 😆

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

You want me to pick a favorite child? How can I? I love them all so much! 😆

But seriously, I'm not sure. Last year I might have said Carnival Mythika, but seeing as I'm still trying to finish that one… >:|

I do also think fondly of Down Dog, because I came out swinging with angst on that one and now I'm flipping it to be more of a wacky hijinks of forcing two people to work together while also keeping secrets both a shared secret and their own secrets.

Oh and my DID au, Safety In Numbers, because I've been having fun incorporating and reinterpreting canon.

And the Port Amity au, Seaside Light Keeper, (that I know what happens next but no one else does cuz I haven't written yet)

Oh and Dante's fave, the Adopted Prince au! It is fun to write this big bad guy as being a total softie just because of Danny.

20. What fic are you most proud of?

First you ask me about faves and now who I'm most proud of? Oh no.

I mean the ones that are my faves are ones I'm proud of… 🤔

You know what? I think Lively Conversations In Dead Man’s Land is the one I'm most proud of. It's one of the first ones I ever wrote, one of the very few GrayGhost fics I've written and I still love it.

Tagging: @bibliophilea, @kawaiijohn, @aj-itated and anyone else who wants to!

[blu-archer]

Hi!!

So I haven't done an "about me" post before, so since more people are showing some interest I thought I'd post some short thing for you all.

Some things to know:

Ace spec.

00's born. The only reason I remember my age easily at this point.

I am in Uni, dominates my life honestly. But its fun so... I major in Fine art, so you might find alot of alternate universe characters are based around what I'm exposed to and know best!

I also have a lot of anxiety when it comes to talking to people, so if you message me I will probably either try to match your energy or come off accidentally abrupt - either way, please don't take it personally, I am just an awkward bean.🥲

that being said, you're welcome to send me messages if you want<3 [just you know... be prepared for awkward attempts of me trying to appear like a functional adult or potentially ghosting you until I can think of what to say.]

I use writing as a type of fun escape when I have time - if I don't post continuously it's probably because life is just a bit too overbearing at the time or I'm having a block

I also make a lot of typing errors because I can't pick up on them no matter how much I read over something - so I apologize but if you could just over look that, that would be great....🖤😅

In terms of writing:

most of this will be comfort and snz based

I also try and kept it as 'alternative universe' as possible because I find I'm more comfortable writing that

Probably won't do y/n fics purely because that makes me mildly uncomfortable. I understand these writings I do are all fictional anyway, but I physically can't do it. Sorry sorry!

Smut. If I feel like it, I will probably try and write it but it won't be often. It does sometimes make me uncomfortable and also I don't always know what the hell I'm talking about so...🤷‍♀️

Emetophobic. So I probably will avoid mentions of that unless its super vague.

Mess in general I think. Vague unless I really force myself.

If you want to send in any requests, feel free too!

I currently only write for BTS - but I stan a few groups. If I open to writing them, I will update this.

If you do send requests, just please don't expect it to always be out within a couple days - my Uni course is really an 'all consuming' type thing. But I would love to see what you guys might want to see!🖤

Dont be shy if you are interested in me potentially writing for you🖤💜

Also feel free to just speak to me or ask questions in the asks, I'm awkward but I like making potential friends! So if you want to know more about me or share your thoughts please do!

If I think of anything important I'll add to this, but otherwise have a great day/night!

Hopefully I will be posting more for you guys soon!

Stay safe!

[noonewouldlisten25]

HI I GOT TAGGED FOREVER AGO BY @derpyflowergarden AND @gauntletknight AND HAVE BEEN SO BUSY I FORGOT TO POST. OOPS 🤣

1-Why Did You Choose Your URL

Looking at it now, I realize it sounds edgy as hell. However! When I picked it, it was just because "No One Would Listen" was my favorite song from the 2004 adaption of "Phantom of the Opera." The 25 at the end is cause I had done the math and figured it would have been about the 25th song on the album had it not been cut.

2-Any Side Blogs

•An active selfship blog I refuse to give the name to 😂

•A semi-active incorrect Star Wars blog

•A dead WWE Imagines Blog

•And a dead blog that was just a place for me to vent when my mom passed

3-How Long Have You Been On Tumblr

I wanna say since 2015?

4-Do You Have A Queue Tag?

I have never used to the Queue a day in my life so...

5-Why Did You Start Your Blog In The First Place?

I REALLY don't remember-I wanna say it was to look at some Hetalia art and I couldn't explore this artist's blog without an account?

6-Why Did You Choose Your Icon/PFP?

It was made for me by @gauntletknight cause I think I'm fucking hilarious. The background is the Omni pride flag. Ace is my favorite One Piece character-but I'm also asexual. So it's an OmniAce icon :D

7-Why Did You Choose Your Header?

Although I haven't been active in the Black Butler fandom FOREVER, but Snake is my favorite character and my header is my all time FAVORITE panel of him.

8-What's Your Post With The Most Notes?

I think the one where I said I wanted to be as petty as Nickelodian was over the Super Bowl/Sweet Victory fiasco

9-How Many Mutuals Do You Have?

No clue ouo

10-How Many Followers Do You Have?

594 :o

11-How Many People Do You Follow?

3007...I need to weed the inactive ones out 😅

12-Have You Ever Made A Shitpost?

90% of my posts are shit posts :D

13-How Often Do You Use Tumblr Each Day?

Honestly, if I'm on my phone, I'm probably on Tumblr.

14-Did You Have Another Fight/Argument With Another Blog Once?

While I wouldn't say a full fight, I made a comment on a post before how my generation shouldn't have to go into debt just to go to school//better ourselved, and I got a fucking ESSAY of hate.

I told them to fuck off and blocked them :D

15-How Do You Feel About "You Need To Reblog This" Posts?

EDUCATE DON'T GUILT TRIP.

16-Do You Like Tag Games?

Mhmm!

17-Do You Like Ask Games?

I don't get asks for ask games much, but I like when I do!

18-Which Of Your Mutuals Do You Think Is Tumblr Famous?

I don't wanna bother them, so I'm not gonna actually tag. BUT!

@Gauntletknight @Pompadorbz @Derpyflowergarden and @Fallenstarace

19-Do You Have A Crush On A Mutual

My secret uwu

Tag Someone!

(*holds post out to anyone who wants to!*)

[karahalloway]

I know we discussed most of these points last night, but I will still reblog your reblog because it deserves it! 🤗

First of all....that mood board......

Thank you! Quite happy with how it turned out as well 😇 Especially that middle pic of Drake in the infamous jodphurs 😆

our conversations spawn so many things! 🤣🤣

...some of which are weird, but all are wonderful! 🤣

Why is this the perfect beginning?

Haha! Glad you liked it! This is actually the scene that hit me when we started talking about this story idea, and it's probably my favourite part of the entire fic!

Of fucking course it's Leo that didn't show up! This totally tracks!

When I was thinking of who'd be the no-show, my mind immediately went to Leo! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Even though I HC that he loves polo and he's an ace player, he can't help but get distracted when booze and women are dangled in front of him lol

This is perfectly Max! I have to stop or I'll be quoting every single line!!

Aww thank you! I am getting the hang of Max more and more as I write. I find him to be the hardest character to get into the head of - probably because he's the polar opposite of me in every way, so I don't have a reference point to fall back on! 😅

I mean the entire opening sequence is just...

My personal fave moment is when Bert bursts in because that's when you find out that they are actually in the bathroom 🤣 Plus Bert's expressions of shocked outrage just tickle me 😆

So many things....first of all...squee!! Most people wouldn't know to split Texas into geographic regions like this. I love the detail (I put the ranch in West Texas myself but either way, this is how Texans refer to Texas). Also, love the rodeo reference (you still need to red Star Crossed because I totally gave him that type of background).

So, I thought about this a bit more and I think maybe I had a latent memory of Taylor Sheridan's character saying something about East vs West Texas in Yellowstone...? In any event, glad I got it right! 😇

I am planning on rereading Star Crossed from the begining (because even though I read the first few chapters when you posted them, it's been a while, so I want to start afresh). But my HC here stems from (a) the fact that back when I was working om (Un)Common Attraction, when Drake mentions what kind of ranch the Walkers have, I couldn't remember if it was a horse ranch or a cattle ranch, so I went with horse 😅 and (b) I know literally nothing about raising cattle, while I know a bit about raising horses, I decided that for my rewrite, the Walkers were going to breed horses, and more specifcially cutting horses (both for rodeo and working ranches), so that's what that reference relates to (which will hopefully be explored a bit more in Lone Star State as well).

I can't tell you how much I love this whole paragraph!

Why do I like it so much when Drake gets violent?

Why probably shouldn't like it as much as we do, but there is somethng savage and primal about it, isn't there? 🥵

AHHHH, LEO!

Even though he missed the start of the match, I had to bring him into the story, partially so he could rile up Drake with his repeated ass grabbing attempts 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Chris frowns. "It is...?"

I HC that Chris does not have as many kinky experiences as Leo does 😆

So the whole sequence between Leo and Drake is gold

...as you can tell, Leo and I had fun 🤣🤣🤣🤣

but then THIS

"For the love of Christ!" I explode. "Will all of y'all just lay off my ass!"

alkdja;ljakaldfjlkaf;lakjadl IT'S THE BASEBALL PANTS ALL OVER AGAIN!! I laughed WAY too hard at this!!!

Ahhh, this makes his eventual relationship with Harper so much better and also explains his insecurities about it.

Yup - not strictly planned to include all this tying back to my other stuff, but Drake just started musing, and it ended up dovetailing very nicely 😇

Drake untacking his own horse tracks as well.

He needed the break from the aristo crowd and he finds it relaxing as well 🥰

Working with animals IS relaxing!

That gif!!! *melt*

and tie in to Lonestar!!!!🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Yup! I am looking forward to writing a lot of fluffy Drake x Lone Star stuff for Lone Star State 🥰 Btw, I LOVE the gif you chose! You probably don't know, but that's actually from an advert for Lloyd's Bank (a UK bank, whose logo is a black horse) and it is actually one of my fave ads bc it's shot beautifully and of course, the horses are goregous as well

very eloquent there, Walker

Can you blame him? 🤣

Poor Drake is completely at a disadvantage here....

That gif! *snigger* TOO LATE WALKER! MUAHAHAHA! Though I do feel bad for him

hahaha, that sounds about right!

Yup - Drake can't say no (yet) to boobs being thrust into his face. But, he learns his lesson the hard way.

Shower, I need a cold shower!

Hahahaha! But... nothing's happened yet 😈 That said, visualising Drake's striptease in my head may have got me hot and bothered as well while I was writing

Well this took a turn..

Yeah, i'll bet he never does that again!

and assault them in the stables apparently, no wonder he hates artisto women and riding crops! Hahaha. I guess I new it was going to go south because of the story it's originally mentioned in but yowza you really took it south! Poor Drake!

Yeah... I had to make it relatively traumatic, because this basically scars him for life. And makes him implement a new rule, so it had to be something that was more than just 'bad' sex 😅

Excellent job! Reading the match felt like I was actually watching one and kept me on the edge of my seat!!

THANK YOU! All the research paid off then! Now I need to do the same for an American football match in Thanksgiving 🫣

Thank you so much for your epic, giffy reblog! So happy you liked it!! 🥰

Polo!

Fandom: TRR

Series: None (this is a one-shot and can be read independently of the rest of my fics)

Pairing: Drake Walker x Valeria Beauvaisis de Lavallée

Synopsis: Drake gets roped into playing a charity polo match when one of the other team members doesn't show for the game... What can possibly go wrong?

Word Count: 6,900 (this definitely ran away with me… 😅 I was aiming for 4,000 but here we are!)

Rating/Warnings: M (swearing, rough horseplay, BDSM, possible dub con... Drake never has any luck in my fics, does he...? 😅)

Fic theme song:

A/N1: So, as mentioned before, the idea of this one-shot came out of a conversation with @angelasscribbles, @harleybeaumont and @nestledonthaveone whereby we were discussing Drake's extra-curricular activities that involve tight pants (kind of spinning off of Angela's Homerun fic) and I happened to mention jodpurs... Queue a massive brainwave about Drake getting roped into playing polo (against his will, obviously, because even though I can see him having played this sport, I cannot see him willingly subjecting himself to wearing tight horseriding tights - even if it's part of the uniform 😅) and that is how this fic was born. Hope you have as much fun reading it, as I did writing it (also, I really hope you check out the music video at the end because it did indirectly inspire several aspects of this fic)!

A/N2: In terms of timeline, this fic takes place approx. 1 year after Drake comes back to Cordonia from Texas (i.e. 1 year after the assassination attempt on the royal family that is mentioned in canon), which is approx. 4-5 years before the start of (Un)Common Attraction, so Leo is still the Crown Prince during this period (also, Anton is just a random noble — no covert personality, no secret engagement to Olivia as I’m not following that storyline in my rewrites). This fic will also shed some light on something that Drake mentions in passing in Crazy, because I thought this set-up was the perfect opportunity to explore why he has such an aversion towards aristo women... and riding crops 😏

A/N3: Since polo is probably not a sport that most people are familiar with (I know I wasn't when I decided to write a fic about it!), and rather than take up masses of space in this post, I have prepared a bit of a Polo 101 Guide which will provide you with the basics of the game, as well as some videos about the world of high-society polo if you are interested in exploring further.

A/N4: I admit that the theme song I chose for this fic is a bit left-field, but in the strange land of my HC, if this fic were a movie/TV show, Boom is the song that would be playing during the montage of the polo match. Also I think it’s quite an appropriate underdog song for Drake in this fic 🤟

A/N5: This is my submission for the Choices January Challenge Day 10 (Easy | Hard | Exercise) with a bit of Day 28 (Tight | Loose | Clothes) thrown in.

Polo!

"No. Abso-fuckin'-lutely not."

"But we're short one player!"

I scoff. "It's not my fault Leo's a no-show! Find someone else!"

"There isn't anyone else!" cries Max, grabbing the front of my shirt in desperation. "You're literally our last hope, Drake!"

I slap the Beaumont's hands off me with a derisive snort. "We're at a VIP equestrian event. You seriously tellin' me that none of the aristos out there can ride a horse?"

"None as well as you can..." admits Chris.

I roll my eyes. He had a point.

"...and, as you well know, there is a bit more to it than simple horsemanship."

"Yeah. Like whacking an overpriced softball with a crocket mallet into soccer goal," I mutter. "None of which is hard."

Max pulls a pained face. "I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear you say that..."

"And that's precisely why you are the obvious choice to sub for Leo," insists Chris, clapping me on the shoulder. "Not only can you put each and every noble out there to shame with your riding skills, but you've also got a killer swing. The other team's not going to know what hit them!"

"A well-aimed polo ball to the back of the head," I mutter under my breath.

Max sucks in a sharp breath. "Does that mean you'll do it?"

Lifting my eyes begrudgingly, I take in the sight in front of me.

Chris and Max are looking at me like a pair of lost kittens — wide-eyes and pleading, begging me to be the answer to their first-world problems.

I heave a resigned breath. "Okay, fine..."

"Yey!" squeals Max, literally throwing himself at me as he bounces up and down like a hyperactive pinball. "Drake's playing with us!"

"But," I say firmly, disentangling myself from the unwarranted — and definitely unwanted — PDA, "this is strictly a one time deal. And this cancels out your last IOU, buddy."

"Understood, mate," grins Chris happily. "Welcome to the team!"

"Yeah, yeah..." I grumble with a roll of my eyes. "Whatever..."

The things I did for Chris...

"There you are!" cries Bertrand, bursting into the bathroom of the clubhouse where Chris and Max had cornered me. "Please tell me you've managed to cajole a hapless substitute into filling in for Leo!"

"Sure have, brother!" enthuses Max with a beaming smile.

"Oh, thank the Almighty Lord!"

"Drake has kindly offered to help us out," confirms Chris, dropping an appreciative arm around my shoulders.

Bertrand's face drains of colour. "Oh, good God..."

I suppress a sigh. This... This was the reason I hadn't wanted to do this.

The aristo bubble — not to mention the high-society polo one — was small and tightly knit. So, as soon as I rode out onto that field, it was going to take precisely four seconds for everyone to figure out that I was an interloper with no credentials for being here.

And I was not going to be made to forget it...

But, unfortunately for everyone involved, it was too late to back out now. The match was starting in less than ten minutes and as much as Bertrand might balk at the idea of a commoner — who was a Western-riding, half-American to boot — taking the spot of the Crown Prince of Cordonia on the royal team at a high-profile charity event, the fact was that unless they wanted to start one man short (and suffer the associated penalties and ridicule) there was no other option.

Because Chris was right. Despite the fact that I'd never set foot in any of the fancy equestrian schools that the aristos liked to pay an arm and a leg for the 'privilege' of attending, I could probably out ride the whole ritzy lot of them. And was therefore the team's best chance at not only making the match, but maybe even winning it.

As I had something that the rest of those blue-bloods didn't. And that was the Walker name. Which — in north-east Texas, at least — was synonymous with Quarter Horses and rodeo.

And even though the ranch had fallen on hard times and was struggling to stay afloat, and I'd ended up choosing a different calling, horses were still in my blood. Because even before Savs and I could walk, Dad — and Paps, while he'd still been alive, God rest his soul — had been sticking us in the saddle to make sure that we knew not just how to ride, but to ride like a Walker... intuitively, effortlessly, at all times in tune with the horse.

And in polo — much like in rodeo — that was ultimately the most important thing.

"But... but he's not a club member!" splutters Bert.

"It's just some paperwork," Chris reminds him. "We can square that away during half-time."

"Absolutely not!" comes the objectionable response. "That is most inappropriate and highly irregular! We simply cannot—"

"I can ask the umpire for extra time!" chimes in Max. "To make sure everything is above board. Also, Drake still needs to get kitted out and—"

"But he's never played before!" stresses Bert. "We cannot field a novice player against a professional team! We'll look like utter gits!"

"Drake knows the rules," interjects Chris calmly. "He's attended several training sessions with me and—"

"That is no substitute for in-match experience!" expounds Bert. "I'm sorry, Your Highness. But Mr Walker simply is not qualified to take on the Number 3 position, given that—"

"Five minute warning, gents," advises a steward, popping his head into the bathroom. "If you want to make the match, you need to—"

"Tell the umpire we're on our way," instructs Chris. Fixing his emerald gaze back on the elder Beaumont, he adds, "Bertrand, give Drake your shirt."

Bert's jaw drops. "M-my shirt?"

"As you so eloquently pointed out, Drake is probably not the best placed to take over the Number 3 position. But he can play as a Number 2."

"But... that is my position," objects Bert.

"Which is precisely why he requires your shirt," explains Chris with infinite patience.

Bert's shoulders sag as the penny finally drops. "Ah. Yes. I see." He reluctantly pulls his jersey off to hand it to me.

Turning his gaze on Max, Chris adds, "Show Drake where he can find Leo's kit and then tell the grooms to meet us by the field with the horses in five minutes."

"Yes, sir!" affirms Max, snapping to attention.

Bert wheezes in outrage. "Five minutes! But we—"

"We are going to get Drake registered," Chris declares, grabbing the Beaumont by the front of his undershirt to haul him from the bathroom, "Captain."

***

Four minutes later, I'm sat astride Leo's dark bay Thoroughbred, fidgeting in the saddle like a convict in the confessional.

"How the hell do y'all wear these things?" I grumble, trying — and failing — to find a position that didn't compromise the constitution of my cojones.

"You get used to it," Max assures me unconcernedly, stretching in his seat as his palomino mare flicked her ears questioningly back and forth.

"Yeah..." I mutter, shifting my weight uncomfortably while juggling two sets of reins in one hand, and a four-foot mallet in the other. "At the expense of your balls..."

I'd passed on the optional whip and spurs back at the changing rooms. They were unnecessary props, and would've just gotten in the way of my riding, given that I was already going to have my work cut out for me controlling an unfamiliar, high-strung horse, not to mention the equestrian-equivalent of the elusive Snitch.

"Beaumont?" asks the umpire, riding up to us. "Where is the rest of your team? Most importantly, your captain? Are you aware that—?"

"Apologies for running late!" pants Chris, pulling his horse to a stop next to us, Bert on his heel. "Had to make a last-minute adjustment to the team."

"And did this adjustment result in a complete disregard for the uniform...?" queries the umpire with a raised brow.

"No, sir," replies Bert, quickly pulling on Leo's Number 3 jersey that Max had tossed over to him.

"Hmph..." harrumphs the umpire. "You are lucky you are not receiving a yellow card for tardiness. This is an important match, after all..."

"Yes, understood," nods Bert. "Our sincerest apologies once again, sir."

"This your substitute player, then?" he asks, turning to inspect me critically.

"Unfortunately..." mutters Bert under his breath.

I roll my eyes.

"Is he qualified?"

"Yes, sir," the Beaumont affirms. "All fees duly paid prior to the start of the match."

"And his handicap?"

"Not rated," grits Bert with clenched teeth.

The umpire's eyes widen. "A rookie? Is that who you're substituting for the Number 2 position?"

"Believe me, if it had been up to m—" Bert hisses as Chris' mallet smacks into his ankle. "Ehm... What I meant to say, is that we had no other option. Mr Walker was the only available candidate who was able and willing to sub for the sadly indisposed Crown Prince on such short notice."

"I see..." muses the ref. "Well, you are lucky that this is a charity open match. Otherwise, your team would not qualify."

"Yes, sir," grumbles Bert. "I am exceedingly aware..."

The ref purses his lips. "Alright, then. Let's get to it. We don't want to keep everyone waiting any longer. Good luck, gentlemen."

"Thank you, sir," acknowledges Bert with a nod as the ref turns his horse away, before declaring, "We're doomed..."

"Oh, cheer up, brother!" grins Max with unshakable enthusiasm as he gathers his reins. "It's just a charity match — not the Cartier Queen's Cup. We're here to have fun!"

"That is exactly the attitude that cost us the last tournament!" snaps Bert, kicking his mount into a canter. "These horses don't pay for themselves, you know!"

Max shrugs unconcernedly as he rides after his brother. "There's always next year."

"Ready for your big debut?" asks Chris with a smirk as we follow the Beaumonts onto the field.

I throw him a sidelong glance. "You know this ain't my first rodeo."

Like Chris had pointed out earlier, I was no stranger to polo. Both the Beaumonts and the Rys were avid players, so I'd attended my fair share of matches and training sessions over the years, even hopping into the saddle on a few occasions, if circumstances — or friendly competition — called for it.

But I'd never played a formal game. I wasn't part of a polo club and didn't have a handicap. Much less subjected myself to a pair of nut-strangling jodhpurs...

Until today, that is.

Because I wasn't — and never have been — able to say 'no' to Chris.

Even against my better judgement... and the sanctity of my manhood.

"Official debut, then," he concedes with a wink as we arrive in the middle of the field.

"Call it what you will," I mutter as I turn my horse to line myself up next to Chris, feeling the predatory glares of the opposing team burning into me. "Cause this is gonna be a shitshow."

Swinging my mount around, I bring us to a stop, facing the crowd, Bert and Max having already taken their positions for the national anthem.

The Thoroughbred tosses his head, chewing on the bit, his racehorse instincts battling with his polo pony training. I tighten my grip on the reins to keep the antsy gelding still as the familiar symphony of the Cordonian anthem blares out of the speakers... and crowd's eyes bore into me.

I feel my jaw tighten as I force myself to keep my gaze fixed straight ahead, the chords of the chorus swelling around us.

If these bastards thought they could intimidate me, they had another thing coming...

The music crests, before cutting out as the recording comes to an end.

"Showtime," winks Chris as he canters his horse past me.

I shake my head as I follow suit, looping my mount around in a wide circle to help him — and me — blow off some steam before the first throw in.

Here we go...

"My, my... Look what the cat dragged onto the field," sneers Neville from across the line as the teams face off over the centre line. "The Palace trying to rig the match in our favour?"

"Do you even know which end of the stick to hold, Walker?" queries Anton with a smirk.

"Sod the stick," scoffs Tariq from next to him. "He's not going to last thirty seconds into the first chukkah before he ends up face-first in the dirt... where he belongs."

"Famous last words, Besnard," I grin, hefting my mallet as the ref raises the ball. "Careful they don't come back and bite you on the ass."

Tariq's eyes narrow...

...but before he has a chance to formulate whatever pathetic comeback he was going to fling at me, the umpire's tossed the ball between us and all hell breaks loose.

Everyone surges forward, looking for the speck of white. The ball pings off the hoof of Bert's horse, careening towards the other team. Neville's mallet comes down to try and claim custody, but I barrel my horse into his, bumping him off as I lean over and smack the ball down the field to Chris.

Quick as a scalded cat, Chris spurs his pony forward, using his own mallet to drive the ball in front of him towards the goal, the other team on his heels like a pack of rabid wolves. But before they can intercept him, Chris has whacked the ball through the posts, scoring our first point of the match.

Cheers erupt from the stands as Chris turns his horse to canter triumphantly back up the field, a massive grin on his face.

"Great shot, buddy," I say as we line up for the second throw-in.

"Got you to thank for the pass, mate," he replies breathlessly, thanks to the adrenaline kicking in in earnest. "Few more of those and we'll be taking home the trophy!"

"Don't count your blessings yet, Chris," I warn. "We managed to catch them off guard, but they're on the warpath now. They're not gonna make it easy for us."

"Then we'd better return the favour, hadn't we?"

The ball whizzes through the air again. Bert makes a dive for it, but he's not quite quick enough. Tariq leans over his horse's neck to scoot it out of the Beaumont's reach. Max rides in to try and defend, but Tariq's already passed the ball up-field.

Spurring my horse into a gallop, I rush towards the goal posts to shore up our defence — seeing as Max, who played the Number 4 position — wouldn't make it in time.

Sensing my approach, Tariq passes the ball just before I can hook my mallet around his stick to stop the shot. I whirl the bay around, but even with Bert going hell for leather in an attempt to ride off the other player, and Chris trying to intercept, the ball passes through our goal posts.

"Dammit," I hiss under my breath.

"You didn't seriously think we'd go easy on you, Walker?" smirks Tariq as he turns his horse to ride back to the starting line. "You may have a Prince on your team, but on this field, we are the kings of the sport."

"Then you'd better be prepared to fight for your crown," I growl as I canter back to the middle of the field.

The rest of the first half passes by in a blur of rough riding and several fouls — mostly in our favour. But that isn't quite enough for us to regain our initial lead, and by the time the whistle blows, we're still sitting neck-and-neck with the other team.

"I'm gonna murder that bastard..." I seethe as I jump off my wheezing horse — my third of as many chukkahs. Thoroughbreds may have grit and stamina, but seven minutes of hardcore polo was guaranteed to wind even the sturdiest mount, so frequent subbing of horses was a must.

"Which one?" asks Chris, unclipping his helmet to wipe the sweat off his face.

"All of them," I grit, launching a well-aimed strike at the fence-post in front of me... and snapping the mallet I was holding in half.

"Mr Walker!" cries Bert, grabbing my shoulder in horror. "That is most unbecoming behaviour! We are at a high-society charity match! Representing the royal team! You will not—"

"To be fair to him, I'd want to break something too after that shocking umpiring."

My head whips around. "No fuckin' way..."

"Leo!" cries Chris, rushing up to his brother with an ecstatic smile to wrap him in a bear-hug. "You made it!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...!" protests the elder Rys with a pained grimace. "Easy on the enthusiasm! Some of us are still rat-arsed from last night..."

"No surprise there..." I mutter under my breath.

Wouldn't be the first time Leo rolled up to a royal event late and nursing a hangover.

"...and in need of a shower," observes Chris, wrinkling his nose. "Did you sleep in the stables, brother?"

"Pfft! No!" snorts Leo derisively. "Who do you take me for? A complete and utter pleb? I slept in a horse trailer, thank you very much!"

"And that's better...?" queries Chris sceptically.

"It is when it's a top-of-the-line rig owned by a pair of sisters who are both very accomplished riders," comes the eyebrow-waggling response.

"I should expect so!" harrumphs Bert. "If they managed to qualify for this weekend's event then at the very least they would need to be—"

"I'm pretty sure he means, sex," stage whispers Max into his brother's ear.

"Oh." Bert's eyes widen. "Oh!"

"Un-fuckin'-real..." I groan, raking a hand down my face.

"I admit that it may seem hard to believe, Walker," replies Leo, laying a somber hand on my shoulder, "but it is possible to bang two birds with one pecker."

Chris frowns. "It is...?"

"I know what a fuckin' threesome is, Rys!" I snap, knocking his hand away. "What I don't get is why you thought it'd be a good idea to lose yourself in booze and pussy when you should've been in the saddle for the royal match that you were supposed to captain!"

"Mr Walker!" gasps Bert. "That is no way t—"

"Because then we would've missed out on the sight of you in those white jodhpurs, Walker!" grins Leo without skipping a beat. "And what a shame that would have been!"

"Screw you, Rys!" I grit. "I'm not wearing these fuckin' things by choice!"

"All the more reason to appreciate it, then!" he winks, reaching 'round to try and lay on one my ass.

I jerk instinctively out of the way. "Fuck off, you perv!"

"I have to agree," muses Max prosaically. "The tightness of the fit really helps emphasise the shapeliness of your—"

"For the love of Christ!" I explode. "Will all of y'all just lay off my ass!"

"I was going to say thighs..." objects Max.

"One minute warning, gents," interrupts the ref.

"Thank fuck!" I heave relievedly under my breath.

Never thought I'd actually be jumping at the opportunity to get back on that field. Especially after ending up in the hedge thanks to Tariq barrelling his pony into me, and Neville gut-shotting me with the head of his mallet... both on the pretence of not having seen me coming.

Fuckin' assholes...

Luckily, the umpires had seen through their thinly-veiled BS and has awarded penalties in our team's favour. Not that that lessened how much pain I was in. But I wasn't gonna give those blue-blooded dick-weeds the satisfaction of thinking they could brute force me out of the match...

I'll just have to deal with the inevitable physical fallout later tonight... in the company of a bottle of whiskey and a half-a-dozen ice packs.

Plus, the chance of potential further injury was a small price to pay to get away from the fucked-up turn this conversation had taken...

But as I turn on my heel to head back to my horse, I feel the undeniable force of a flat-handed whiplash reverberate over my rear.

"Hate to see you go, Walker!" hoots Leo. "But love to watch you leave!"

A growl of aggravation hurtles out of me...

...but before I can round on the jerk-face of a Rys, I feel Chris' arm drop around my shoulders.

"He means it all in good fun," he reminds me, steering me away. "No need to get worked up about it."

"Easy for you to say," I grunt abrasively. "Your ass ain't the one in the line of fire."

"True," he concedes. "But then I don't cut quite the same figure as you do in jodhpurs."

A dry scoff escapes me. "Your loss, buddy. I keep telling' you to come to the gym. You could've been on the receiving end of all this attention today."

"And steal your limelight?" laughs Chris, swinging into the saddle. "That wouldn't be very sporting of me now, would it?"

I roll my eyes as I mount my own horse. "Steal it all you want. You know I prefer it on the sidelines."

"I think the ladies might disagree..." He flicks his head meaningfully towards the stands behind me as he clips his helmet back into place.

Glancing over my shoulder as I grab a replacement mallet, I spot the no less than thirty females with binoculars trained on our position, their accompanying hand-crafted silk fans going at full-tilt.

I turn back to Chris. "They're just eyeing you up, buddy. No doubt as a potential marriage prospect."

"And you," he winks, hefting his mallet onto his shoulder as he rides back out onto the field. "You have managed to capture their attention quite decisively as well."

I shake my head with a scoff as I follow after Chris. "Yeah. Right."

Hell'd have to freeze over first...

In all the years that I've lived at the Palace, I couldn't remember a single time when a girl — any girl, much less a social-climbing aristo — had ever given me a time of day when I'd been stood next to Chris. And even if I did manage to strike up some semblance of a conversation, the moment they found out that I was a nobody — with no rank, title, or prospect of a massive inheritance, I was as good as dead to them.

Because who'd want to waste time on a commoner when there was a bone fide prince on offer? Not anyone sane.

Not that I really cared.

I had about as much in common with aristo women as shit did with Chanel — fuck all. So, I kept my distance, and they kept theirs, save for the occasional forced interaction mandated by basic decency at public events.

And that's why I knew — for a fact — that it wasn't me those high-society females were checking out. Not when both the Rys and the Beaumont brothers were eligible and available.

So, I waste no more time thinking about it, and focus, instead, on the task at hand. Which was paying the other team back for the hell they gave us earlier.

But Neville and Co. clearly have the same idea, because the second half of the match unfolds just as brutally as the first. Neither side is willing to give any quarter as we battle each other like vandals for possession and goals.

I bear the brunt of the attacks, but I am rewarded with some perverse retribution towards the end of the fifth chukkah when in their haste to intercept me, Tariq and Anton collide into each other, and Tariq gets thrown from the saddle.

Yet against all the odds, our perseverance pays off. In the last thirty seconds, we manage to steal the ball away from the posh pricks in a clever bit of defence curtesy of the Beaumonts, turning the play around to score in their goal instead, and ending the match 10-9 in our favour.

"Whoo!" exults Max, jabbing his mallet into the air as we ride jubilantly off the field. "What a game!"

"Couldn't have done it without Drake," adds Chris, waving to the cheering crowd as we canter past the stands.

"Yeah. Definitely wouldn't've gotten so many penalties," I mutter, wincing from the latest set of bruises... while trying to shrug off the attention I suddenly found myself the focus of again.

"Yes," agrees Bert. "I have to admit I was sceptical, but young Mr Walker here has certainly proven himself to be a capable substitute."

"Bloody capable, I'd say!" interjects Max. "Did you see that goal he scored with that tidy cut shot? Or when he managed to steal the ball from Neville and ride it all the way back up the field with three players chasing him? Or—"

"Yes, yes," accedes Bert with a sigh. "We may make a semi-decent polo player out of Mr Walker yet."

"Semi-decent?" I snort caustically.

"High praise from Bertrand if ever I heard it," winks Chris at me.

"Bravo!" claps Leo as we reach the staging area at end of the field. "The royal team rides to victory!"

"No thanks to you," I point out, throwing my leg over my horse's neck to slide out of the saddle. After the beating I'd taken today, I didn't have it in me to try and dismount the traditional way. And even my modified solution causes me to grunt in pain as I hit the ground.

"A great leader knows when to delegate," he responds unabashedly, reaching for my rear again.

I slap his hand away. "Last warning, Rys. You try that shit again and you'll be delegating everything for the next six to eight weeks..."

"You think I don't do that already, Walker?" he grins, completely unfazed by the seriousness of my threat.

"Putain de merde..." I huff under my breath as Leo ambles off to personally congratulate the rest of our team.

It wasn't exactly a secret that the heir to the throne was less than reliable when it came to fulfilling his royal duties. But he could at least try to be less blasé about it. Especially considering the fact that everyone around him was left constantly scrambling to cover for his increasingly frequent absences.

Sensing movement behind me, I turn to step in front of the groom that had appeared next to my horse.

"Je m'en occupe," I declare, taking the reins back decisively.

The lanky teen opens his mouth to protest, but I've already turned away to lead the chestnut mare towards the stable block.

I knew it was common practice for polo players to dump the care of their mounts on the fleet of grooms that accompanied each team — partly so they didn't get their expensive white jodhpurs soiled. But I was already covered in everything from sweat to blood to dust, so getting a few extra horse hairs on me wasn't gonna make a lick of difference to how I looked... or smelled.

Plus, after all the crap that I'd had to put up with today, the last thing I wanted to do was pose for photos, gag on fancy pisswater, and pretend to socialise with flunkies, flakes and fat cats.

That was Chris' world. Not mine.

Especially since I could have more intelligent conversation with my horse than with half the tossers out there... and I definitely did not want to interact any further with the assholes who'd tried to land me in the ER today, as otherwise things were bound to get ugly off the field as well.

Best that I just removed myself from the spotlight, and let the Beaumonts and the Rys take the credit and the congratulations.

Entering the coolness of the stables, I make my way down the row of stalls, scanning the engraved name plates as I went.

Locating the right stall — based on the name stamped on the mare's bridle — I lead the horse in after me.

Unclipping the bridle, I sling it over my shoulder and let the chestnut drink while I pull the saddle off. Dropping the tack over the stall door, I slip quickly into the familiar motions of my past life as I set about removing the bandages from her legs and unbraiding her tail, the tension in my shoulders starting to unravel as I worked.

As life-or-death as the match may have been, it had been a nice change of pace to be back in the saddle again, working with horses...

Humming Garth Brook's Rodeo softly under my breath, I stuff the bandages into my back pocket and pick up the saddle and bridle again to return it to the tack room.

...which made me think of the young gelding that I'd left back in Texas.

I heave a breath. Need to figure out what to do with him...

In the midst of my abrupt departure from the ranch last year, and the fraught months that followed trying to steer Chris through the psychological minefield of his PTSD, the last thing I'd been thinking about was Lone Star, or my future plans. But now that things weren't so touch and go – Chris' performance at today's match a testament to how far he'd come thanks to his counselling sessions – I had some overdue soul searching of my own to do.

Stowing the mare's tack away, I'm reaching for a grooming kit when I feel the tell-tale pressure of fingertips digging into my backside.

I whip around with a growl. "Touch my ass one more time, Rys, and I'll swear to God, I'll—"

"Hmm... Testy on and off the field..."

Whatever I was going to say gets forgotten as I find myself staring into the grey-green eyes of a truly stunning blonde.

"But then I always preferred males with a bit of passion," she purrs, her blood-red lips curving into a seductive smile as she steps closer.

"Umm... I... Ah..."

She'd somehow managed to put a stranglehold on my vocal cords as well...

...probably because she was wearing nothing except stilettos and a black lace bustier.

"Not very articulate, though..." she muses, flicking her gaze over me... like a cat trying to decide whether she should eat her prey, or toy with it first.

I swallow hard. "I—"

"Not that it matters, I suppose," she declares, slapping the business-end of a riding crop over my mouth, cutting me off. "Because I'm not looking for platitudes..."

A strangled noise escapes me as she grabs me through the front of my pants. Holy fuck.

"...I'm looking for a savage ride."

Before I can choke out some kind of puerile response, she's shoved me backwards...

...and despite about a million warning bells going off in my head, I feel my dick twitch in response.

It could've been her uncompromising voracity, or the thrill of the unexpected. But one thing was for sure — no girl had jumped me out of the blue like that before and her take-control attitude was hot as hell.

Maybe I'd been wrong about aristo girls...

Because there was no mistaking that that's what she was — the polished accent, the perfectly styled hair, the pearls at her neck. But apparently that was all just a carefully constructed façade to hide the low-down-and-dirty nympho that lurked underneath.

Stumbling, I land unceremoniously on the top of the wooden storage chest behind me. "Whoa... Easy there, missy—"

A loud crack rends the air.

"My name is Valeria Beauvaisis de Lavallée, Viscountess of Roussillon, you boor," she pronounces imperiously, sticking her heeled foot into my chest to push me back against the wall.

Lifting my hand to my stinging cheek, I feel a wetness beneath my fingertips — she'd managed to draw blood.

"And you will call me mistress." Wedging the leather keeper beneath my chin, she forces my gaze up to meet hers, demanding compliance. "Understood?"

The sharpness of the pain colliding with a sudden flash of animosity spikes my arousal into completely uncharted territory.

Domination? Rough play? Bit of bondage? Sure. I was down for that. But normally I was in the one running that show, so finding myself on the receiving end of my own kinks was disorienting, to say the least...

...but not enough for me to want to tap out.

So I give her the barest of nods.

"Good boy," she purrs approvingly, taking her foot off me to trail the end of her crop down my neck like a caress. "Now disrobe yourself."

It was gonna be like that, huh?

Grabbing the bottom of my jersey, I start to pull it up slowly, holding her gaze the entire time.

Because while she may have managed to leash me, that didn't mean that I was suddenly her poodle, doing tricks on command.

So, while I was willing to play along, it was gonna be on my terms.

And I was determined to make her sweat.

The bottom of the shirt clears my ribs, and I don't miss the sharp intake of breath as she rakes me with her gaze.

Plus, it was satisfying to test her prepotence. No matter how marginally. Because she wasn't the only one here who could power-play.

I fling the shirt off.

"Now your bottoms," she commands hoarsely, alabaster cheeks flushed pink with arousal — and I hadn't even touched her yet.

I comply, reaching for the clasps at the front.

Her tongue darts out to moisten her bottom lip in anticipation.

I pop the top fastening.

Her pulse visibly quickens.

Finding the zipper, I start to inch it down lazily, my brazen gaze not leaving hers as I push myself back up to my feet.

Her breath catches in her throat as I shove the jodhpurs down. "Nom de Dieu..."

A lupine smile curves at my lips as I take a step closer. "You like what y—?"

I grunt as another blow lands on me.

"I did not tell to speak, rake," she bristles indignantly. "You will—"

The sudden jolt of pain unleashes something feral inside of me.

"Fuck this," I growl.

Grabbing her roughly around the waist, I snap her to me.

Her eyes widen in shock.

But before she can protest further — or whip me again — I've crushed my mouth to hers.

She may like playing the ruthless domina, but there was only one way this was going to end — with her bent over, getting fucked.

Because I was nobody's bitch, and refused to be treated like one.

Her palm connects with my face. "How dare you!"

I jerk back in confusion. "Wha—?"

"I didn't give you permission to touch me, you presumptuous oaf!" she snaps, laying into me with her crop again. "Much less kiss me in such a disgusting fashion! I have a husband for that!"

My eyes widen. "Wait! You're marr—?"

"To a degenerate old todger who can't even do his business in the john, let alone with his wife," she pronounces, shoving me backwards. "So, I want your cock. And you're going to give it to me."

I crash tailbone-first onto the storage chest again. But I don't even have a chance to try and catch my breath because Valerina's already clambered onto my lap.

Grabbing my jaw roughly between her nails, she hisses, "Now shag me like the wild beast that you are!"

I slap her hand away. "Like he—"

"No excuses!" she screams, smashing the riding crop down against my thigh.

I jerk at the harsh impact...

...and she takes advantage of my momentary distraction to impale herself onto me.

"Jesus fuck!" I cuss as the hard downward momentum nearly snaps my dick in half.

"Mmm! That's it!" she exults maniacally, grabbing onto my shoulders with her manicured nails. "Service me with your functional tool!"

"Find a fuckin' mechanic, then," I hiss, trying to wrest her off me... because while I was many things, homewrecker was not one of them. And I was not going to allow myself to be complicit in adultery. Under any circumstances.

A choked wheeze flies out of me as she grabs my balls in a vice-like hold without warning. "Service me, you insolent cur," she hisses into my face, "or I'll geld you like one of my unruly colts."

Looking into her flashing eyes, it's clear that she isn't bluffing neither.

Yup... I'd been definitely wrong about aristo women. They didn't just have a superiority complex. They were batshit fuckin' insane.

And I should've trusted my gut when it'd tried to warn me that this beguiling siren was exactly that — a cold-blooded predator out on the prowl.

But — like the epic dickhead that I was — I'd let the promise of a hot fuck hijack my better judgement. Which is exactly what she'd been counting on when she'd set her sights on me.

I yank her against me with gritted teeth.

Because now that she'd sunk her claws into me — quite literally — she wasn't gonna let me go until she got what she came for.

So the faster we got this done, the better.

And I may as well try to get something out of this runaway train wreck besides the cuts and bruises of the repeated flagellations... and the black mark on my conscience...

...even if it was just her talons off my junk.

"Yes! Yes!" she cries. "Ride me like a rabid animal!"

But despite that fact that I was wedged balls-deep up a tight and very willing cunt, the moral weight of the sin I was committing was apparently stronger than whatever physical gratification I was managing to eek out of the situation...

Which — all things considered — was the square root of fuck all, as the death-grip on my stones, plus the beating I'd already received out on the field were conspiring to make each upwards thrust feel like a literal act of torture.

So, I feel myself start to deflate.

"I said harder!" she cries, momentarily releasing the hold she had on me to slap me remorselessly with that accursed crop.

"Nope," I say, taking advantage of the unintended opening to buck her off me into the cold stone floor. "We're done."

"You vile cretin!" she shrieks, spitting her blonde hair from her face as she pushes herself up from the undignified, ass-in-the-air position she'd landed in. "How dare you treat me in such an abominable fashion!"

I snort sardonically as I quickly stand to yank up for the waistband of the jodhpurs that had pooled around the top of my boots. "What? Never been thrown off your high horse before?"

"Why you contemptuous little—!" she seethes. "I should have you whipped!"

"Pretty sure you've done that already," I grunt, fastening my pants with record speed. "And if this is any indication of how you treat your horses, then I hope they dump you in the fuckin' dirt as well."

"Oh, please," she laughs. "My horses are much too well-trained for such tasteless displays of disobedience. They know who their master is."  She flicks her eyes over me disdainfully. "Something which cannot be said for you, you pretentious churl."

I feel my hands fist by my side. "You are not—"

"And while you may cavort with royalty, do not make the mistake of thinking that you are — or will ever be — anything more than a flea-ridden lapdog, doing tricks for scraps. So, if you know what's good for you, commoner," she decrees, spreading her legs imperiously, "you had better finish what you started."

"You're right," I concede, taking a step towards her. "I stepped out of line..."

Her eyes glint in victory. "Easy to do if you weren't born into this world..."

"...by giving you the mistaken impression that I give a fuck about what you think of me." Picking up the dropped riding crop, I toss it at her. "So you can finish yourself off, mistress."

She splutters in disbelief as the crop hits her on the chest. "But... You... How dare—?"

"Hope that riding crop's hard enough for you," I throw over my shoulder as I turn my back on her to scoop my jersey off the floor.

"You insolent, mouthy dog!" she screams. "You will not—!"

But I've already marched out of the tack room, leaving her shrieks of rage to echo emptily behind me.

I heave a relieved breath as I pull the sweaty shirt over my head...

Sweet fuckin' Jesus...! Talk about assault with a (less than) friendly weapon! That girl gave a whole new meaning t—

...and nearly crash into Chris as I round the corner.

"There you are!" he cries happily. "We were wondering where you had disappeared off to!"

"Just...umm... sorting the horses," I mutter, quickly yanking the rest of the shirt down.

"Can't stay away from the pretty fillies, huh, mate?" he grins, clapping me on the shoulder.

I wince under the impact. "You could say that..."

"Well, there should be plenty of those where we're going — the boys want to head out to celebrate our win!"

"Sure," I reply congenially. "As long as there's whiskey and lots of ice..."

Chris knew I needed a drink... or ten, after today.

"I'm sure we can manage that."

"And I can burn these fuckin' jodhpurs."

As promised, this is the music video (and song) that helped inspire this fic (obviously doesn't help that one of the polo players looks like Drake 😇). Also, the video is 100% accurate in the fact that a major reason why women watch polo is so they can oogle the polo players under the pretense of being absorbed in the game 🤣

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Picture credits:

Fall- Drake - Polo - Victoria

[akane171]

The idea of sending owls is AWR AND SOME!😍 But...Without Wifi I can't read fanfics and without fanfics I wouldn't even know what to do with myself and I really really really want to read the end of a few (Like e.g. LW's PiaD...Or your "A Definite Maybe" and the other unfinished ones you have...Or the stories I keep up with in other fandoms...🙈) 😂😂😂

I'm pretty sure m, problem was that the voices all sounded female😅

Ugh, I think I read the very beginning of the first book because of a friend but don't even remember that apart from the show's "Stefan" being named "Stefano" instead?🤔 And well, I watched the show cause there wasn't much Else to watch at that Time of the day and two friends were watching it, plus I just like superpowers sooo🤷🏻‍♀️ But meh, it was way too much Teen drama and romance for me (plus, another Love triangle🙄), so while I love the actors, at this point I only ever rewatch the funny or very tragic scenes or anything Team K-related🙈🤷🏻‍♀️😅

Funny you say that, cause there are another two "monster" beginning with K and the four so tend to be just defined as "Team K": Kai Parker, Kol Mikaelson, Klaus Mikaelson and Katherince Pierce/Katherina Petrova😂 And they're SO badass and in my opinion the best written characters in the whole show (...But do tend to be more categorized as the villains?🙈)🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Sarcastic protectors are the BEST! Dunno but nothing is greater than a sarcastic asshole being attached to and protective of that one single person they'd do anything for😍😍😍🙈

"prefer him happy"...Uhm, did you even read what you wrote about your space opera or the bitter future daughter fic?? HOW IS THAT HIM BEING HAPPY?!?! YOU MAKE HIM SUFFER JUST AS MUCH!😅😅😅😂😂

SHE ABSOLUTELY IS!! 😍😍 I binged all her stories before I had an account and uff, I'm still bedazzled by the awesomness that is "Forgotten" and ohhh, don't get me started on "Bring Me To Life"😍😍 Ohh, or "Jinxed"! And the other One-Shots, too, ofc!😁😁

HAHAHA thanks😊 and noo, I'm pretty sure at this point I might be more sleeping than be awake😉😉 

Yess, dito 😂 And hey, Luffy does kinda have the same vibe as S2!Mon-El...Well, the other way around, since Luffy was around first, but you get what I mean 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 And just imagine MarineAdmiral!Kara being all high and mighty about justice only for PirateCaptain/King!Mon to swoop in and turn her world around and them being all arguing-y etc until they fall in love and maybe the Legion being Mon's crew 🤔😂😂😂 

Oh god...That poor therapist😅😅🙈🙈 I think they might need one of their own afterwards😉

Ohh, apropo One Piece, I've been rewatching Ace's...end...again and now I have this idea of a Post-finale fic where the reason Mon-El told Kara he wouldn't be back in this timeline is because time travel is actually outlawed unless it's about saving the universe from ending (I mean, technically the Legends of Tomorrow did on two instances introduce a group regulating time travel, so it wouldn't even be that surprising) and him and Winn coming back in the last episode was actually against the laws since there wouldn't have been a difference apart from KARA dying but other than that no effects on the future. So Mon-El knew he would be charged and at the very least locked away, tho probably even executed because that's the usual punishment. Winn doesn't even know that and Mon-El makes excused for him by telling the -let's call it Time Police for now- time Police that Winn only acted on his superior's (aka Mon-El's orders...) and therefore isn't to blame but Mon himself... Maybe Winn finds out about it when he returns from the wedding and ohh, Rokk (who in my head is Mon's second in command cause no way that's Imra just cause they are/were married) is SOOO pissed and well, it'd probably turn into an all out war with the Time police vs the Legion and allied forces (and yes, Mon-El, like Ace, is an idiot who is totally fine being executed and just wants the Legion etc to go before they and others get hurt, esp. after they'd been working SO HARD for peace all these years...) and well, Winn would probably run off to tell Kara etc and they'd get involved too? 🤔🤔 Ahh, not sure, but I kinda wanna actually write this😂😂

Aww, thanks (and as I said, I'm probably even sleeping too much😉) and you too!😊😊 Haha, don't know about that description, but I'm sure all will be fine😁 I hope the same for you, too!😁

XXX

You can go to a place with wi-fi once per week.

Well, I want to start writing the last chap on weekend so, keep your fingers crossed.

...didn't see taht coming.

Well, after one ep I wanted all of them dead, so....but I feel your pain of having nothing good else to watch.

Oh. i know that. i heard the villain Ks squad is the best ;D

Yeah, the I'm So Done with idiots, But This One I My Idiot, Stay Away Or I Will Reap Your Spine Out - perfection

The point is, he would survive and be happy, not erased from existence. That's the DIFFERENCE, pal =='

@themoonfortress you have more fangirling about your writings that you deserve in 1000% ;D

Sounds like a nice thing to do, I approve. Tell LW to do the same!

I'm not a big fan of One Piece, don't sue me, but it sounds niceeeeee.

That poor therapist would be CAT GRANT. I guess her patients would be much much poorer *evil laugh*

.....so you want him to suffer again.......

I mean, cool idea.... better explanation than the no explanation we got from the Sg finale. Stilll, MONSTER. I'm telling LW all of it.

Ok, but take care of your ass! You need to be happy , healthy and rested to write a NICE karamel stories ;)

[tarabyte3]

That is so valid of you. ❤️ Because dear fucking god 🥵

(This got way too long for a comment response, so I decided to do a whole post response to share my own Andy journey for everyone.)

I've always had a *bit* of a crush on him after watching the interviews and "making of" in the special features of the Extended Editions of the LotR because he was so funny and physical. In that "Oh, Andy Serkis is such a great actor! Very talented. Seems like a cool dude" way. (Yes. I am a fucking idiot.)

So any time I saw he was in a movie afterwards, I would go, "Oh, Andy Serkis is in/worked on this?? Definitely watching that. Also watching that interview I see on twitter/Facebook/YouTube for sure. Just because he's so brilliant and I like hearing him talk about movies. Yeah..." Which is why I saw King Kong, Adventures of Tintin, and Rise of the Planet of the Apes in theaters 😅 Or why I immediately watched The Ritual on Netflix because he was an executive producer (incredible movie btw), and why I was so hopeful for Snoke as a big bad in Star Wars (🙄). Or why I've seen some of his random other movies before. (Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll hit the non-performance capture Andy itch and my love of biopics about messy, disaster musicians lol)

But I am also a grey asexual/Demi romantic, so I don't always realize what "oh, I think that person is interesting" means. Little physical crushes, sure. But the BIG crushes where it's not just physical attraction, but an admiration/affection for a person? Then I am a dumbass. Gillian Anderson was the same way for me, and she is my other big celebrity love. Adored her since the late 90s, didn't realize why until like 2016 ("I just love Scully, she was a big influence on me growing up" 🙄🙄 I had like a dozen Gillian posters, y'all 🤦🏻‍♀️). With my own husband I didn't catch on as to why I looked forward to talking to him more than I did my other friends.

It also meant I didn't even realize I was bisexual until I was like 30! Aka I should ask myself more often: "hey dumbass, why's that do you think?" Because being on the ace spectrum can be really frustrating and confusing. 😭

I remember being intrigued by Andy during Age of Ultron and Black Panther like "oh 👀" but I didn't think much of it. (Again, my brain and libido need to warm up like an old CRT monitor or I need to be slapped in the face with it like hitting a TV to get an antenna signal to clear up.) I also didn't see The Batman right away, but only because I've been burned out on superhero movies. (I'm a few years behind on Marvel content except Hawkeye, who is my favorite comic book superhero so I made an exception for the semi adaptation of Matt Fraction's Clint and Kate).

It wasn't until Kino pushed Melshi against the wall in episode 8 of Andor that I had the glass shattering moment of "AW FUCK. WAIT I THINK HE'S HOT? I HAVE HAD A CRUSH ON ANDY SERKIS FOR HOW LONG?! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS."

...this probably explains a lot about "I Want You to Show Me Weak" for some of you, actually lmfao.

But once that veil was lifted from my eyes, I had like, 20 years of screaming to do. I screamed a lot at my IRL friends, my online friends, and my poor husband. Then I wrote fanfiction. And when that wasn't enough, I dragged my ass here to step out from lurking after hiding in the Tumblr shadows for over a decade to scream into the void.

So here we are! Now I have some awesome new friends and mutuals I can scream with and I appreciate the hell out of you all. ❤️ I'm late to the party because I can't read directions, but by god, I got here eventually.

So anyway, here's Wonderwall some gifs. 😉

This was the one that did me in (not quite the first time I watched it, but the seeds were definitely planted). I've always loved Andy because of his involvement and with "The Lord of the Rings" films (as I love everyone involved with them), so there was already a great deal of affection built in.

Then two years ago I decided to do a rewatch of the entire Marvel catalogue (since we were in yet another COVID lockdown) and when I got to "Black Panther" this time I instantly went "Oh. OH FUCK." Even just his fucking swagger kills me. And since then we've gotten Alfred, and then Kino?? My god, man can a girl have a break??? 🥵 (Spoiler: I don't actually want one)

[op81s]

@raapija oh, i genuinely hate it when games don't warn you that you're entering the end game if you can't play post ending 😭😭 but now i'm actually getting hyped about playing vampyr again 'cause i really liked it, i just gave up cause it was too hard 😭 that means i'd have turn on my ps5 tho, it has probably been feeling real neglected lately 'cause i bought a pc in november and i've pretty much not used my ps5 since 😅

well........................ i do own this:

(and i watched my brother play borderlands 1 like a decade ago so i somewhat remember the plot 😅)

for real, the mission where trevor goes to ludendorff to dig up michael's grave??? and they get ambushed by the triad who calls trevor michael's 'boyfriend' 👀👀👀👀

@sailing-with-100-ships, odyssey is such a great game, i loved it so much!! i played as kassandra but i've been itching to re-play the game as alexios. valhalla has a really cool storyline so i'm excited for you to experience it!! i would highly recommend you go back and play origins as well someday. it's the game that set the template for the modern ac games and bayek is such an amazing main character. + you get to see the origins of the assassin order 👀

What other games do you like ? 👀

oh, soooooooo many. i'm a HUGE nerd 😂

lately i've been playing hades 2 but all time faves in alphabetical order with ultimate faves highlighted:

ac 3, alan wake 2, alien isolation, a short hike, carto, coffee talk, control, deus ex, dishonored, donut county, far cry 3, final fantasty 8, hades, horizon zero dawn, ghost of tsushima, god of war, gris, i am dead, infamous, it takes two, lake, lego batman, life is strange, marvel's spider man, ratchet and clank, return of the obra dinn, saint's row, sleeping dogs, star wars: jedi fallen order, the last of us, the witcher, uncharted 4, unpacking, untitled goose game, what remains of edith finch

(these are just my fave ps4/ps5 games 'cause i have a terrible memory so i literally just went through my playstation game library and i cannot be bothered doing that for my pc/nintendo games as well 😭)

how about you????? what's some of your favorites games??? 👀👀 (if you're not too angry to respond rn 😭😅)

[nickname-98]

Well, we now know what he was studying for

Good luck Piero!!!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Credits to Il Volo Mundial Oficial on Insta 🙌🏻👌🏻❤️

Piero and his Sister taking pictures of each other. No idea what he’s studying. May 17th 2018 Igstory