#(or maybe theyre still reading them idk)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
DAY 71: shy
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isabeau isat#isat spoilers#i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image#top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade#like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky#they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower#second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops#ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon#for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful#(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the#obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus#that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop#theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them#theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing#tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies#idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone
308 notes
·
View notes
Text
here with a heavy heart to inform everyone that im currently cursed with mha hyperfixation
yeagh
ok bai :3
#just kidding mha is actually awesome ppl were hating wayy too much#or maybe im just crazy#anyways various requests and aggie/magma doodles from the past couple months :3#im still figuring out how to draw them all idk#mha fanart#mha#bnha#bnha fanart#mha hawks#my art#izuku midoriya#izuocha#bkdk#cant let gang know that ‘mha hyperfixation’ is just code for ‘bkdk hyperfixation’#‘but bkdk sucks-’ IM BEGGING YOU TO WATCH PAST SEASON 1 AND READ THE RESTA THE MANGA I PROMISE ITS ACTUALLY PEAK#i enjoy almost all legal ships i think theyre all so cutie but theres something abt those two….#they match each others freak to a degree that is dangerous to the public#katsuki bakugou#cant let gang know that im ALSO hyperfixated on fortnite#yeah#oh yeah drake is also there say hi drake#drake the haunted#OKAY BAI#digital art#magma doodles#aggie doodles
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
writer's block is debilitating atm. i want to write soooooooooo badly but im just sitting here staring at google docs with 0 neuron activation
#also i hate to admit it but ive felt kinda weird writing phanfic lately :/#bc idk. seeing them irl at tit kinda made me think about it too much i guess#plus the revelation that they (or at least phil) lurk and they might see it ldsvlknlsknvlsfn id have to kms#im still debating deleting after the “someone on tumblr will write about that” comment#still trying to convince myself it wasnt about me but i will never know for sure and now i always feel mildly uncomfortable on here :(#maybe im also self sabotaging a bit because i dont really want to finish any of my wips#bc then i should post them. but i dont want to bc what if they flop dslnlnsnvlknvl#i am starting to resent these wips but at the same time theyre still my babies#i always used to think writing was like my Thing. but now im starting to feel like i cant write for shit lmfao#and it's really hard to write if writing just makes you feel stupid#maybe this is just seasonal depression idk#when phil said in his fanfic video rpf is fine as long as you dont cross certain lines#i thought the line was trying to make them aware of it/taking it beyond fan spaces. but now im second guessing everything i write#one of my wips is kinda dark/very angsty and im worried that it gets too deep into mental health stuff#even though it is an alternate timeline au so it's really about 2 fictional characters based on them. but still im worried it's too serious#especially since someone mentioned the bluebird fic recently. i havent read it but now im stressed that my fic is too dark#in a similar way. spoiler alert lmao but this fic was supposed to culminate in dan getting outed by a friend and having a breakdown#but now im wondering if im doing too much and i should just drop this whole idea ugh
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
it was certainly a choice for warrior cats to put a fan's cat in the book and then have his backstory be that his owners put him in a bag and threw him in the river as a kitten
#sorry i just cant stop thinking about it its kind of funny but also kind of mean because thats like. a readers cat.#i mean if theyre a warrior cats character then its guaranteed that bad things will happen to them. but still . hello#i remember to name this character they had a bunch of people just comment their cats names#and then later had a poll where we could vote out of their favorite options#and one of the options was my cat's name. like i didnt actually submit it someone else with a cat with the same name did#but like that could have been MY cat who was thrown in the river. crazy#asc spoilers#thunder spoilers#ask to tag idk maybe some people might find this upsetting#for people who dont read warrior cats or dont read the new books that are seeing this. no im not making this up
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay so as a gen 5 stan who does adore the story in bw and bw2, and now that gen 5 has experienced both a vicious hatedom that wouldnt hear a single positive thing about the games, and now a super protective fandom that insists they were perfect and had zero flaws... can we admit now that the bw1 story at least was. a little mid.
#just a little. just a little.#i am saying this as someone who adores it and loves the characters a lot#...... but good god team plasma kinda sucks ass as an evil organization#bw2 is sorta better about them with the split factions but in the first game theyre so obnoxious and come across as strawmen#the game talks about how the world is nuanced and not black and white and its not good to take extreme sides#but then. it sorta does that with the protagonists? by refusing to talk about abused pokemon that werent hurt by team plasma?#obviously they are wrong. the game hammers it in with a mallet. but is it really nuanced if our stance is ''ha ha thats silly''#and yeah groups like plasma exist irl but like. as someone who cares abt animal rights and stuff a lot. i feel like they fumbled it here#the answer shouldnt have been ''well ig some pokemon get hurt. we wont talk about them though. watch the grunt kick a munna''#it shouldve been about animal welfare. like maybe instead of becoming assistant professor; bianca couldve become a nurse joy#or she couldve joined some organization that rescues and rehabilitates pokemon from abusive trainers. maybe the reformed plasma from bw2#and before someone goes ''erm its a kids game they cant do that :/ thats too complicated'' first of all- the anime showed a malnourished te#tepig#kids can handle a bit of text next to a skittish lillipup thats like ''its scared of humans'' or something and its being cared for by someo#someone''#plus the side games were tackling much heavier shit at this point#also again they were apparently fine with a grunt kicking a munna and bragging about how he loves doing that so.#like even as a kid i felt like that scene was really over the top and stupid#team plasma feels less like an attempt to do commentary on harmful animal rights ideas that lead to ecofascism and dont care abt the animal#true needs#and more like gamefreak read a lot of obnoxious critical pokemon posts like ''lmao training is like dogfighting'' and ''this promotes anima#abuse!'' and just made a strawman out of those people. and like i agree thats all stupid but it sorta hurts the message of the game#that the world is very nuanced and taking extremes is bad and reductive.#and this isnt getting into poor story and gameplay integration and other stuff like underutilized characters (you know exactly who i mean)#idk. again i still adore the story and have a huge soft spot for it. but i think the only reason people say its perfect is out of defensive#defensiveness and not having engaged with a ton of video game stories. and pokemon stories not being fantastic in general#like i think pla is better put together story wise than this game and its got less going on than this#echoed voice
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
not going to lie i do find it quite upsetting that so many ppl think that animals that arent immediately relatable to humans are completely incapable of thought or feeling. and thats the only thing that matters when it comes to animal rights arguments a lot of the time
#like the take of ohhhh Well this animal is smart and shows emotions!!! it might even be smarter than humans!!!#as if that matters literally at all#like the argument abt fish or hamsters or w/e being stupid (wrong) so it doesnt matterrrrr if they dont get cared for properly#as if its ever ok to mistreat animals.#in general the idea around smaller or less relatable animals being worth less is super frustrating#like if u post abt microwaving ur hamster when u were 6 everyones like ‘lmaoooo i did the same thing’#but if u posted that abt a dog….? The Gallows#we shouldnt have to care abt mistreatment of animals bc theyre cute or funny or smart#i just watched blackfish again and it annoyed me how much ppl were arguing abt the orcas being so smart and emotional etc#which is true. but thats just smth that makes their captivity harder. u jnow. like if they were simple and had simple needs it would still#be wrong if they werent met#its just such a huge issue bc of how hard the needs are to meet in captivity#same as like. bears and shit. you physically cannot give them enough territory to stop them going insane#ik theres ppl who believe All captivity is wrong#like my strpmum is one who believes nobody should own Any pet#which is. Imo a stupid argument and not at all sustainable. ppl need companions thats why weve had dogs and cats for thousnads of years#but also they are such successful pets bc their needs are so easy to meet!!!!!#its this misconception that fish or rodents are Easy Beginners pets… in reality they are 100x harder. but their lives are worth less to ppl#bc they dont show love the same way#well. anyways im not very good at expressing my thoughts abt serious stuff#but its smth that rlly upsets me#its frustrating too bc ppl either dgaf abt animals aside from Maybe the cute ones or r too extreme in advocating for the freedom of animals#like u can absolutely give indoor cats proper enrichment. its just slightly more effort#and its not as simple as just. emptyinb out the zoos. READ ABT KEIKO!!!!!#i feel its a very interesting topic. but ppl r very b/w on it#idk i feel the majority of ppl know so little abt animals its like. impossible to get thru#like ok cool u think zoos r bad bc the lions get saddddd. but u also think snakes and bugs and rodents are nothing but disease spreaders#and cant also have complex lives#Tsk. Whateevr
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know this has been said 473773474833 times by the kavetham/haikaveh shippers and probably even nonshippers, but i'll say it again. I finally finished the genshin summer event and did the little after quest in sumeru and.....every time kaveh is sneaking around trying not to be noticed coming out of alhaithams house it's just such a gay vibe. he's basically screaming "I can't be caught being gay in a homophobic society!" even if that's not what the game writers are *actually* saying. that's just how it comes off and they can't make it come off any other way. with hoyo's gay history, it makes me wonder if it's on purpose and all a cover-up to have a technically different reason for it so they can get away with it lmao but we will never know.
#lee text#genshins#i can acknowledge how gay they are without liking thr ship#flashback to several kavetham/haikaveh (whatevwr their ship name is) shippers on here attacking me over not liking the ship#trying to “educate” me on why theyre sk gay and why i should ship it#look i didnt say they arent gay af. and these shippers dismissed my feelings completely#i think it was after that one event with the competition thing that kaveh won? idk but just they way they interacted#the way alhaitham talked to kaveh and the way kaveh responded TRIGGERED A TRAUMA RESPONSE IN ME#which made me dislike the ship and their dynamic! i didnt CARE if he was well meaning. the way he talked to kaveh#triggered a fight or flight response in me because it sounded similar to how ive been talked to and kaveh getting upset was similar to#how ive reacted to the same words. you can also argue my family cares about me like alhaitham does kaveh and its how he helps#but it doesnt mean its the kind of help we need and it doenst traumatize us lmao#so i dont get why people were so angry at me for getting triggered by this ship and disliking it for that reason#while i can still admit that they are gay af and seem to get a long a bit better after that and i can tolerate them now#since its been a while and i dont remember it enough to have a trauma response when seeing them anymore lmao#but its just annoying that shippers can be so toxic 💀 they care more about their fictional men ship than me. a real person. weird#not tagging the ship so i dont get more angry shippers in my notes....but they found me last time with no tags so hi. dont yell at me again!#but maybe no one will care since im putting my “anti ship propaganda” in the tags this time and not the main post lmao#just dont read my tags so you dont get mad at me for being uncomfortable by this ship dynamic. but if youre reading this...its too late#leave me alone they arent real and i am so im more important right 😅#let me shame the shippers that dismissed my real feelings because they think their ship is more important than a real person lmao#you cant tell me im wrong when a trauma response isnt a choice and happens against your will 💀#BE ASHAMED YOU NERDS#I WILL BITE YOUR KNEECAPS#sorry i just had to vent lmao
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
obsessed with their different reactions to being called starcrossed lovers
#im gonna pretend mattie didnt die and visits them sometimes back in toronto#it's such a cute dynamic they have#the two evil (affectionate) sisters who just loving teasing laura#also one of my favourite things abt this show is the choreographing they do for the static camera#i bet it's so annoying to have to think about but i love watching them all move so coordinatedly through the frame#somehow still making it look natural#also i know laura is the storyteller one and i dont really know enough abt romanticism to make any definitive claims abt carmilla#but having scrolled her blog a bit to figure out her tastes in music and art#i wonder if theres a part of carmilla that kind of enjoys being starcrossed. or doomed in a sense#or maybe she that she wouldnt have CHOSEN this story necessarily but that she has resigned herself to it#on account of her vampire nature#and sees a certain beauty in it#that all her romances are doomed#idk. im still figuring her out#also im reinterpreting that exchange mattie and carmilla have in this scene#carmilla calls mattie a utilitarian which is probably right#mattie then callls her a nihilist and carmilla corrects that to existentialist#and mattie says absurdist at best#but those arent designations like back and forth as i had read it before#it's just carmillas philosophy theyre arguing about. i THINK. or maybe it's both of them#putting a pin in that until ive read more books#also kind of obsessed with how laura and danny and maybe the other humans are so quick to ascribe a morality to the vampires#based just on the 'shes a vampire!!' while obviously by necessity the vampires have spent wayyyyyyyyyy more time thinking abt their ethics#or maybe not by necessity for all of them but to mattie and carmilla it definitely seems like a necessity. or inevitability#they mustve spent countless hours over the centuries talking abt this if they can joke abt it in this way now#and in different states too like i can imagine distraught Im A Monster type conversations but also just sort of academic debates and also#carmilla reading some new book that has come out and mattie being like what newfangled thing are you into now#i guess utilitarianism was also newfangled at some point. theyre both older. but you know#carmilla is a poet. dont know if she writes poetry but she looks at things in a poet's way i think#also dont think shes entirely a romantic but i do think some of her tastes lean more toward the romantic
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reading Asunder and I think I hate this more than the first two. The first two were often poorly done in a technical sense, and often had a lot of sexism. But Asunder is the "video game developers idea of gray morality" problem fucking distilled. The sexism is still here, and most of the technical issues are fixed (though certainly not fucking all) but like
Every two damn minutes it's: the noble and pure and pretty Evangeline (ignore the fact that like a kid starved to death under her charge and she is actually a threat and jailer to everyone around her just bc they were born different) who is so noble bc she.... believes the beliefs of the organization doing all the bad stuff. But she believes it really genuinely, that she's helping, even when working w the bad organization. And she's pretty, we'll mention that again.
Versus Adrian who's described as pretty never and often described as mousy and irritating. And she wants all the mages to be free but she's like soooo angry and loud and mean. Did you hear how she's too angry? She's soooooo angry, the redheaded fire Mage. So angry. And she's super judgemental. No one's as judgemental as her, even Wynne (a character who's greatest and most consistent flaw is being judgemental) will call her out as being too judgemental. And of course like, maybe she has some points about Mage freedom if she just wasn't so angry about it and obsessed with it. And she's not pretty.
And of course. Both. Are in a love triangle with our main male POV character. In fact he at one point dated Adrian, although it's impossible to tell why, bc he only ever thinks of her in the worst ways possible, so like. What did he like about her? What does he even like about Evangeline other than that he thinks she's hot? No one knows.
Something about it being written slightly more competently makes me like it even less
#dragon age#asunder#dragon age critical#asunder critical#tbh. david gaiders rant about how romance ruins the paths a character can go dowm#(or limits it or whatever)#makes a lot of sense when you read his novels- because his romances are fucking unbelievable#his women are on occasion given a second dimension instead of the one#and he cant even fucking know why two people would like each other#perhaps esp if a woman is involved. he doesnt know what makes women people let alone why one would want one romantically#so he just goes. idk shes hot to him or whatever. instead of presuming that like.#when people of all genders get with women its for as myriad complex and interesting ways as when men get with men. bc women are literally#not that different from men and also exist as full people#so his romances are always like 'idiot local man thinks woman is pretty. that is all. now they are trapped in one of like 3 paths'#like maybe you think romance is limited bc you arent fucking good at it man. you fucking suck at it.#your inventiness when it comes to worldbuilding? great. love some of that stuff.#when theres a woman in the room you sound like a caveman trying to figure out what a plane is#when youre designing her romance you sound like that same caveman trying to build the plane from scratch after figuring out the concept#its sooooooo fucking bad#and you can tell he thinks hes immune to it bc hes gay. you can just. see that he thinks bc he doesnt want to fuck women#he cant possibly be misogynist about them. YOU STILL DONT THINK THEYRE THE SAME AS YOU AND ITS DRIPPING OFF THE PAGE MAN#krogans thoughts
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
lol. im gonna be ruminating about my interaction w bill bruford in the hotel for the rest of my life. he was clearly like not expecting a fan to approach him then and there but he was also trying to be cordial and normal despite me probably looking like i had just witnessed a tragic event or something. we exchanged a few words n then he was like "ya so we're heading up to manhattan now" just like making small talk and i was so intimidated and starstruck i dont even remember what i said LOL i think it was pretty normal but i wanted to ask him something (if the weird modulated voice on back to the beginning is him tho im pretty sure it is but id like confirmation) and get a pic but. i was unable to do so on account of the being absolutely petrified. anyway props to bill for trying to be normal to me when i was probably visibly trembling
#hes very physically imposing. and im not just saying that because i think hes insanely hot#hes tall and has a deep voice and unless hes smiling his face is kind of severe#like chris was taller than bill and obviously more. portly. but i had my dad to back me up then#shelby was waiting on a couch but i had no one to be like 'this is my kid and they like u' you know lol#and when i met russell mael i was also VERY scared but hes like. tiny#idk. it seemed different and harder to interact with bill for some reason.#probably because neither of us were prepared?#idk. still feel like i failed somehow. ugh#i sound so ungrateful lol IM SORRY i just idk im supposed to be better at this i feel#i hang out with the current yes lineup after shows but i guess theyre like nobodies relative to bill#and its mostly just jay and jon d i talk to. and no offense to either of them. but theyre not bill bruford#idk maybe i should give myself some grace#its bill fucking bruford of course id be scared shitless#IS ANYONE STILL READING THIS#a beast that can talk
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
Soldier! I made an assessment of the whole team (full list is on bird-btch-rambles if the others are curious) and i said your opponent is a Utahraptor.
Do you think that is a fair opponent to put you against? Will you win?!
OF COURSE I'D WIN, SOLDIER!!!!!!!!!!! That stupid COMMIE DINOSAUR would be NO MATCH for PURE AMERICAN GRIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Utah is a HIPPIE STATE anyway. It's the SCOURGE of our country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder they had to send a DINOSAUR to EVEN STAND A CHANCE against me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAAGAAGAHGAAGHAHAGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#avian killing machine#im going to ASSUME its called a utahraptor because. idk maybe they lived where utah is today. but#it is much much funnier. if its a coincidence. and soldier just assumes its from utah. or utah has them today STILL. so#thats my new headcanon. im not researching it. it's funnier this way. do not correct me#alsoalso GO READ THE DINOSAUR MATCHUPS theyre awesome and i love it actually
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
we've struggled to find a ship name for sonya & dunya crime and punishment but personally i think it's obvious. it should be Sodun, because they are So Done with this shit
#ignore that dunya is pronounced with an oo sound. shhhhhhhhhhhhh#anontalks#c&p#IN ALL SERIOUSNESS in my mind ive been referring to them as sodunya since i started reading it for the first time so thats my vote i think#unless someone comes up with a better one but the names are really hard to mash up bc theyre so similar#even if you go with sofya and avdotya its still not easy at least to my anglophone brain and ears lmao#sovdotya????#idk maybe ill make a poll if theres other contenders. put in replies or tags or send an ask with your fighter if you have an opinion#bc i really think we need a tag#also i think its really funny to refer to characters in the same vein as s/ans u/ndertale#Sonya Crimeandpunishment is peak comedy to me
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
............ i want to come out.
#its so hard but also im so tired of this ya know???#my parents will be back in may#and..... idk. theyll only be here for a month before theyre on the road again for another god knows how long#it was like 10 months this time that theyll have been gone#and i just....... i want to tell them#maybe this is a result of me reading heattstopper lmao#i got to the part about charlie telling his parents about his ed again and just started tearing up#but also I've BEEN wanting to come out i just think i might actually be to the point where i just. do it.#I'm still half tempted to just send the email i wrote lol#i may print it and hand it to my mom just cus i can never actually say things out loud#but also i need to talk to my sister first cus i think I'll need that back up#sigh#idk. i want to so bad. i want to try.#im so. ugh.#its like a block in my chest and i hate it#my sisters partner sent me a photo earlier of some item in bg3 bc it has my legal name#and i kniw she was sending it as a funny joke thing but just... yeah.#anyway#im just ranting as per usual lol#fuck#shh ac
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
thought id see some deep and thought-provoking discussions about the philosophical and moral questions posed in atsv but all im seeing is a whole bunch of "the whole spider society is evil and fucked up for trying to save the entire fabric of the multiverse even if they have to bear personal grief for it and miles is the only Good One" and man . expected too much from the 'spends 90% time and energy thirsting for scary big vampire guy' fandom huh
#sorry im just . kinda really mad abt takes im seeing (against my will but alas..... twt fyp and ao3 tag cursed as hell)#like ???? just not getting the nuance of the conflict in the movie at All . its not supposed to be one side wholly good one side wholly bad#taking ppl away from this movie for a second and sitting them in front of the trolley problem . baby steps so try to understand this first#NOT ABT MIGUELS METHODS BTW THEY WERE 100% FUCKED UP !!!! he went way too far thats not even up for debate#but more the mindset he was coming from which is still justified from his perspective like dude lost an entire World!! comprehend that !!!!#also ppl getting on gwens and peter bs and peni's cases abt 'betraying' miles like theyre doing smth insanely evil like bro..... enough#aauagghhgh psychic damage from bad takes is happening i need to stop reading these#ummnmnm . dunno if i should even post this idk maybe im the only one thinking too hard abt it#atsv spoilers#my post
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#really randomly fell down a weird rabbit hole today#i was watching the X-Files and finally felt like reading up on david duchovny#like i see u fellow slav what kind of slav are you#so i opened up his wikipedia article and saw that his dad was jewish and from ukraine and went like AHA WE ARE THE SAME#and just out of curiosity looked up the place he's from because im curious about jewish shtetls in the ukraine#because my whole family except my biological father is from several of them and i thought hey maybe they were neighbors#which they fucking are omg theyre just 20km apart#my greatgreatgrandma is from makhnivka which i even found articles and history about and how the jewish population grew & declined#even though i did not find any steinbergs in the archives#anyway when i read up on Berdychiv where duchovnys family is from it said#early settlement by the Chernyakhov Culture#which was an archeological culture between 200 and 500 CE existing at the same time as the roman empire#....... is this how i finally find out where my name is from??????? like?????????#i wish i knew so much more than i do#like i only found out that im not russian i was just born in russia like 7 years ago or so??? because my mom never tells me anything#all the information about my great great grandparents and where theyre from is from my grandma#and her dementia is really bad now and shes just angry and screams and calls people names#my russian is too bad to properly read up on stuff like that and theres barely anything in english or german#i just want to know idk#but genetic testing is too expensive and also very america centric and the only family i have in the us is super conservative#i had to block them on facebook when my grandma made me write to them once over 10 years agl#and i know a huge chunk of my grandmas family moved to israel too so i dont want anything to do with that either#although id be curious if it would actually find my half siblings i found out about also like 8 years ago#i just wish there were more archives and more people i could talk to about this#on my grandfathers side theres nothing really left#my grandfather passed suddenly and apparently before he did he took ALL THE FAMILY PHOTOS AND DOCUMENTS somewhere to maybe digitalise them#but we dont know where so theyre literally gone for ever#but his whole family was from kiev and is apparently named after this culture era#his dad was a higher up at a sugar factory and i still cant find anything#my grandma had so many cousins and they were so interconnected and knew so much and i literally just have my mom and no one else
2 notes
·
View notes