#alsoalso GO READ THE DINOSAUR MATCHUPS theyre awesome and i love it actually | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eagle-head-charge · 1 month ago

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Soldier! I made an assessment of the whole team (full list is on bird-btch-rambles if the others are curious) and i said your opponent is a Utahraptor.

Do you think that is a fair opponent to put you against? Will you win?!

OF COURSE I'D WIN, SOLDIER!!!!!!!!!!! That stupid COMMIE DINOSAUR would be NO MATCH for PURE AMERICAN GRIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Utah is a HIPPIE STATE anyway. It's the SCOURGE of our country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder they had to send a DINOSAUR to EVEN STAND A CHANCE against me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAAGAAGAHGAAGHAHAGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#avian killing machine #im going to ASSUME its called a utahraptor because. idk maybe they lived where utah is today. but #it is much much funnier. if its a coincidence. and soldier just assumes its from utah. or utah has them today STILL. so #thats my new headcanon. im not researching it. it's funnier this way. do not correct me #alsoalso GO READ THE DINOSAUR MATCHUPS theyre awesome and i love it actually

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