#i may print it and hand it to my mom just cus i can never actually say things out loud

[altruistic-meme]

............ i want to come out.

[remembertae]

Beverly Hills, 90210 “Nancy’s Choice”

(Photo: FOX)

S6 E19 Jan. 30, 1996

WRITTEN BY: John Eisendrath and Meredith Stiehm

SYNOPSIS

California University student newspaper editor Susan has been nominated for a Collegiate Press Club Award. Her boyfriend/newspaper colleague Brandon believes she’s sure to win for last year’s notorious feature story about an anonymous young woman (“Nancy”) who had an abortion. The two discuss her odds as they walk into the newspaper office, where they find Susan’s ex-boyfriend/ex-editor Jonathan hanging out with all his former colleagues. Unbeknownst to Brandon, CU has invited Jonathan to the awards dinner since he’d served as editor when “Nancy’s Story” was published. Brandon assumes Jonathan is attending the dinner as Susan’s date and jealously stomps out of the office, even after Susan assures him there’s nothing going on between her and Jonathan.

Later at the student union, Jonathan and Susan chat about the awards. She wonders why he came for the ceremony. He insists he’s there to support her, adding, “Who else knows how much you sacrificed for this story?” Susan winces and Jonathan apologizes, but Brandon approaches before they can discuss things further. After Jonathan leaves, Susan explains to Brandon that Jonathan never approved of Nancy’s story because he’s pro-life and thinks Susan “infringed on her privacy.” When Brandon asks if she did, Susan admits to pushing Nancy to tell her tale, but also believes the story helped her subject heal. When Brandon wonders why Susan cares so much what Jonathan thinks, she explains that he was her mentor and his disapproval hurt. And when she admits she’s still bothered by Jonathan’s disapproval, Brandon stomps off again.

Brandon asks his friends Steve and Clare to come to the dinner so he doesn’t have to deal with Jonathan alone. But then he and Susan bicker more later when she refuses to print his column until he does more reporting. Taking her editorial decision personally, Brandon tells her to have fun at the awards with Jonathan.

On the evening of the awards, Brandon dons a suit but heads to a local diner, The Peach Pit, instead of the dinner. Peach Pit proprietor Nat asks Brandon why he’s ditching the ceremony. Brandon can’t figure why Jonathan came back to town to celebrate Susan’s nomination for a story that caused their break-up. Nat tells Brandon he’ll never get an answer if he doesn’t show up for the dinner and compete for Susan.

Brandon arrives at the awards dinner right before Susan’s category is announced. After he sits down, someone at their table asks Susan what her article was about. She answers, “It’s about a woman’s right to choose.” Steve asks why it’s never the man’s right to choose, to which Clare and Susan both make snarky remarks about men never getting pregnant. Jonathan chimes in to say he doesn’t believe men or women should be able to choose. Brandon asks, in open ear shot of their entire table, if Jonathan broke up with Susan over the article. But before he can answer, Susan is announced as the best feature story winner.

Susan nervously accepts the award on behalf of all women who’ve faced Nancy’s difficult decision. “If Nancy were here tonight,” she says, “I can’t say she might not regret her choice. The effects are that profound and the consequences are that lasting. That’s why winning this award is very special – it honors more than choice, it also honors courage.” She leaves the stage visibly unnerved.

Brandon and Susan take a walk after the awards. He suggests she tell Nancy about her win, to which she replies, “I’m Nancy.” Brandon guesses correctly that Jonathan was the fetus father. She explains that after her sister died in a tragic accident the year prior, she and Jonathan got drunk and had unprotected sex. And when Jonathan learned of the pregnancy, he asked her to marry him. Susan gets weepy telling her story and Brandon embraces her. She asks him if he’s now turned off by her and he assures her that he’s not.

Jonathan approaches the two of them and Brandon lets them be alone. Jonathan is still upset he never had any input in Susan’s decision. She says she wasn’t going to change her life over a mistake, to which he angrily responds, “That’s a great way to talk about a child!” Susan claims he was pro-choice until he didn’t have one. Despite his resentment, Jonathan says he can’t help but forgive Susan and congratulates her for her award win.

Back at the banquet hall, Brandon hands Susan her award and tells her, “Doubting your decision doesn’t mean you made the wrong one.” All Susan can say is, “He forgave me. Now if only I could forgive myself.” She asks Brandon to hold her and he does.

KEEPING IT REAL QUOTIENT

I find this tale very interesting within the context of Beverly Hills, 90210’s previous abortion stories - season 2’s episode about reformed “bad mom” Jackie’s unplanned pregnancy and season 4’s two-episode arc about college freshman Andrea’s oops fetus. In a way, one could interpret this episode as the alternate reality Andrea might have experienced if she’d chosen abortion instead of birthing baby Hannah and marrying fetus father Jesse.

Susan and Andrea are remarkably similar characters - intelligent, intense (one might say “uptight”), proudly feminist women who serve as newspaper editors at different points in the series. Both women have a somewhat competitive relationship with Brandon, and are attracted to him. Both characters are accidentally impregnated by their non-Brandon college boyfriends and, at least at first, both choose abortion. When Andrea pursues termination despite Jesse’s pro-life stance, he threatens to break up with her. Between the prospect of losing him and the shame of terminating her offspring (she tearfully apologizes to her fetus the night before her appointment), Andrea changes her mind, marries Jesse and has her baby. The outcome of her choice is complicated. Hannah is born premature and suffers serious health problems during her infancy. Andrea struggles with balancing parenting and her studies. Jesse proves to be a judgmental, pushy, yet not particularly helpful father/husband. Both he and Andrea end up cheating on each other and consider divorce. Though they patch things up enough to keep their family together, one has to wonder if she might have been happier having an abortion and telling Jesse to kiss off.

With Susan’s story, we get an idea of how Andrea might have fared had she just gone through with it. And, no surprise to me, it looks like Susan’s decision was a good one. Jonathan is a jerk (to the point that he makes bratty Brandon look like a great guy in comparison). Essentially, it seems he offered Susan the same ultimatum Jesse gave Andrea - marry me and have this child or I break up with you. And if that weren’t enough manipulation, now he’s trying to sabotage her new relationship. Why ever would she be inclined to birth a baby she doesn’t want just to be with this guy, when instead she can continue pursuing her academic goals and be editor of the newspaper?

And yet, Susan remains plagued by shame. Not only does she second-guess her decision to abort, she still cannot forgive herself. For what? The abortion itself? Or getting pregnant in the first place? A decent narrative that centers the abortion-seeking character would answer that question, but the writers dumbly assume Susan must feel guilty about something, even if they don’t explain what. Her point of view feels so un-feminist. She internalizes Jonathan’s disapproval. And when she tells Brandon the truth about “Nancy”, she needs to know he doesn’t see her as damaged goods. There’s this moment after Brandon asks her (very judgmentally) how she got knocked up by accident, only to check himself and say she doesn’t owe him an answer to that question. But then Susan says, “Yes, I do.” No, you really don’t! People fuck up and get pregnant by mistake literally all the time. This “mourning my dead sister made us forget the condom” bit is overkill, but the writers probably thought we needed that maudlin detail to feel any sympathy for her. Because unlike Andrea, she actually went through with the abortion. And so she must do penance.

I’d somehow missed this episode when it originally aired and knew nothing about it until it was recently highlighted on the Beverly Hills, 90210 podcast “Again with This”. In her scathing recap, host Tara Ariano commented on the fact that both Jesse and Jonathan were eager to raise their girlfriends’ babies, noting, “This seems statistically unlikely that, of this sample, it would be one hundred percent anti-choice on the dudes’ side.” I’ve discussed the “overzealous fetus father” trope before, and how I believe it’s way overrepresented in the dozens of abortion episodes I’ve reviewed for this site.* Making the male partner disagree with the abortion-seeking woman is such a hackneyed source of abortion conflict, but the trope doesn’t have to be done this poorly. Again, in a smarter story, we’d have more discussion about Susan’s claim that Jonathan became anti-abortion simply because he didn’t have any input (we might have wound up with something like Mimi-Rose and Adam’s story from Girls). Or perhaps, if Susan had to be at odds with Jonathan, she could have been more secure in her decision, as Jackie was when she discussed her past abortion with daughter Kelly back in season 2. But no. Instead, there’s this sense that Susan should want her ex and her beau’s forgiveness. She may have dodged premature motherhood and an unhappy marriage, but vague, inexplicable guilt is her trade-off for maintaining that freedom.

GRADE

D+ I’m glad Susan had her abortion. Her stupid, unnecessary guilt trip (that does not suit her character) sucks, but it’s still better than her starting a family with Jonathan. That’s about all this dopey, lazy, stigmatizing episode has going for it.

Including this episode, we’ve reviewed 51 abortion stories. In 35 of those stories, the fetus father is made aware of the pregnancy. In 20 of those 35 stories, the pregnant woman either considers or goes through with an abortion, and the fetus father disagrees with her choice.

- by Tara