#(my friend wasn't actually high)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3467bc07205796c58ae56b3e630a5753/6033112bb1bf445b-bf/s540x810/bf4b8c45d733c1a5897211f5ecbabbbbc3596b68.jpg)
"Mister Bashir, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you."
Julian, why in god's name would you invite him to play the villain?
#my art#ds9#julian bashir#elim garak#star trek deep space nine#garashir#image desc in alt text#pencil#ok so on the outset it may look to some viewers as though julian invited garak to play the villain to get dommed by the scary lizard#this is not the case. not in my heart#in my heart julian felt a burst of something funny when Garak asked him ''what if you'd killed me''#and he responded ''what makes you think i wasn't trying'' and garaks face blooms into a sudden understanding and respect. ooh.#That's that heady shit. catching garak off guard. ooooh. that's that High Quality Endorphins Happening. but. gotta pack that up for later#(he will not unpack that later) because garak also just threatened to kill 5 of his friends who are STILL IN DANGER. NO TIME FOR THIS.#so after everything. and MONTHS after OMB. he invites garak to something like a playful rematch. sort of.#after all theres only so long that garak can stomach being a sidekick u know? he needs to be able to do his own machinations.#so they make a character for him thats a villain. a little more cerebral than falcon. a little more ambiguous in his motivations.#now there's also. a secret game at play here (there are always games. doctor) and its actually between garak and his own self#you see garak Also wants bashir to defeat his character. he also wants to be shocked. challenged. a little dismantled even (state forbid!)#and because garak wants that for himself? hes going to fight tooth and fucking nail to make sure it doesn't happen.#that Gayle clip from ''COMPANY IS COMING'' but its garak yelling ''WE CAN'T LET THEM KNOW WE [WANT]!!!''#and its a horrible idea for both of them but. oh so so exciting#you understand.#these rituals arent intricate so much as they are transparent but all encompassing. a fish doesnt know its swimming in water until its out#you understand? you understand.#thank you to anyone who found the time to read these tags i hope you enjoyed yourself and/or found what you were looking for#also garak is dressed so boring bc hes hiding himself u know how it is
701 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, my mom was telling me how much free time I have, and I was like, "I have no freetime wth do you mean?????" And I just wanna see if this is like. A normal way to think of things?
Things I need to do:
Finish reading icebound land
Make a whole lotta art that I promised people
Research study abroad programs
At least one Dutch lesson a day
Keep my room clean
Talk to my friends so they know I love them (and so I don't go insane)
My math homework
Keep myself clean (showers, finally brushing my teeth after months, etc etc) so I don't go insane
Eat at 7pm
Various things I enjoy as to not go insane
All from 6pm to 9 pm, every day, after being at school from 8 am to 3:30 pm and then The Public (teen center) from 3:30 to 5:30, and I need to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00
So, basically, I'm "on the clock" from 7 am (When I start getting ready for school) until 9 pm, with no breaks
But yeah no I totally have free time. Yeaup
#“but you never actually do that stuff! you just sit and scroll!”#yeah cause if I'm not doing what I need to I'm not Allowed to do anything else#but I'm just. too tired. to do what I need yo#I hate high school#rambles#adhd#executive dysfunction#<- I've heard that this kinda mental math can be a symptom of those things? idk#im so tired#burnout#adhd burnout#(????? I think????)#high school#I'm just so tired of all of this#the sun is going down way too early and I barely speak at all at school and I never finish work early anymore and the teen center is loud#and I still want to be active in the fandom but I don't have time to make posts anymore#and I don't have any in person friends anymore and I don't know when the last time I got a hug was#and I'm just. so. tired. my room is clean and I have good grades and I talk to my friends everyday and I shower routinely#why the hell am I so stressed#I do everything I'm supposed to do#I just want to go somewhere else man#The Netherlands hopefully#I wanna actually DO something#go on a trip for band#not just finish the work put in front of me day after day after day after day#I wasn't built for this shit#I'm so fucking tired
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
one of my favorite clark headcanons that i have (that is completely unsupported by canon) is that he's transgender by kryptonian standards. martha and jon kent raised him as a boy and as he grew up he never had any reason to doubt it at all, he was like yeah i'm a boy, makes sense. and then he gets to the fortress of solitude for the first time and it turns out how Gender works on krypton was just Different enough that clark doesn't really fit the kryptonian standards of whatever he was supposed to be. bonus points because this makes him feel like even more of an outsider as a kryptonian, even if he's the last one left.
#do i know what those kryptonian gender customs are? no and i kind of don't care to come up with them#just cuz that's not my favorite thing to do but someone else can if they like my idea#i just love the idea of 1) trans clark 2) clark discovering his heritage but also as he learns more about his heritage#realizing that because of how he was raised- and it was nobody's fault- even though it's the only explanation for why he's so different#from humans he still can't help but feel like he's not a real kryptonian either#brought to you by THIS STARTED AS A FUN HEADCANON FOR HIM TO BE TRANS IN A COOL ALIEN WAY#BUT TURNED OUT TO BE ACTUALLY PROJECTION OF SOME PERSONAL SHIT I HAVE ONLY CONSCIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT LIKE TWICE SO OOPS#bluebird.txt#superman#was watching superman 1978 and i don't have any real thoughts about it yet but i'm just rotating in my head#that jor-el said 'this is your home.' when describing krypton.#like. he's never been there. he can never go there. it doesn't exist anymore and he will be raised human.#he will be raised in a world that is so completely unlike his own and he will not grow up with as a kryptonian.#and yet jor-el says of krypton 'this is your home.'#like just give me a moment.#so interesting to me who considers who what. some guy in high school#told me i wasn't mexican because i din't recognize some candies my (cuban) teacher brought back when he visited mexico#he said i wasn't even latino#well first of all that guy was a first-class asshole seriously my kudos to him#for having such an impressive amount of hatred and unhappiness in his little soul#second of all. he didn't think i was latino. my own sister only calls me mexican when it's convenient for her#my parents are proud of their american children and in high school my mexican (as in grew up there) friend wa always proud#to call me a fellow mexican (or at least a chicana)#so i just find it so fascinating that in this movie jor-el says son you will never know your birthplace your parents's home firsthand#but it is your home.#my parents would never EVER call mexico my home i don't think they'd even call it THEIR home#i just. i'm thinking about it a lot.#high fives clark kent in child of immigrants and everything that means swag solidarity
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Things me and my friends have said as the Marauders (Part 7? I think?)
Barty: I saw him - in a vision
Evan: what did he look like?
Barty: Like... the shadow of a giraffe... but not the shape, the vibe, and... green. Acid green, but all swirly and blurry at the edges
Barty: And then he spoke - but not in in words, in sounds, like cats fighting.
Even: what did he say?
Barty: spread the word... the birds are evil. Eradicate them... spread the word
Regulus: Are you high
Regulus: Barty. Are you high?
Barty: Nah I only had like four joints
#(my friend wasn't actually high)#(it was a whole thing#(but i promise we're not on drugs)#barty crouch jr#barty crouch junior#regulus black#evan rosier#marauders era#the slytherin skittles#slytherin skittles#slytherin skittles incorrect quotes
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
How do we define friendship? What makes a friend different from an acquaintance? These are all things I'm wondering about. Because a kid in my period 1 course remembered me from a class we shared last year. He talked to me a lot and tried to make me a bookmark, so… he clearly can't hate me. I don't remember us talking at great length all the time, but I remember that we sat in the same group together for at least the whole semester.
I remembered him for being polite, but again, we never talked to each other too much. But it seems I may have picked up an acquaintanceship. We know each other, we make small talk to each other, but we never interact outside of class. You know what? I… I can work with that. I'll only start worrying if he begins approaching me constantly outside of class. But having someone who likes me enough to recognize me and talk to me in class… it's a small thing, but it's not the worst thing ever.
I just wish I knew how to define this relationship. Friends? Acquaintances? Just two students who know each other? That's the part that's really bugging me. I don't care too much about how he talked to me (it was awkward, but manageable). I just wish I knew how to define all this. That's all I want out of this. Concrete definitions.
#school wasn't great today#but that's the topic of another post i've got coming up#first off it's just time for me to ask about this#i've never had a friend or even acquaintance my own age#this is uncharted waters#it's nerve wracking#autism#neurodivergent#asd#my thoughts#adhd#autistic#actually autistic#audhd#rant#rantings#school#high school#school days#friendship#acquaintanceship#acquaintances#friends#rants#ranting#vent#vent post#vents#ventings#overthinking
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fuck fuck fuck low self-esteem has ruined my life.
#uchiha-gaeshi overshares#i should've known the signs when i got evaluated for adhd and my self perception was like#hold up gotta pull it up#and also disclaimer that this was a separate assessment for overall emotional wellbeing (or something like that) and this was just part of#the many tests that i had to take#ok. we're reaching even newer levels of oversharing here since i'm literally sharing evaluation results. but anywho#i was in the 96th percentile for sense of inadequacy; 17th percentile in (good) self esteem; 3rd percentile in self-reliance#and 3rd percentile in ego strength (i.e. satisfaction with self and one's abilities)#i saw this and got shocked and then forgot about it (in my defense there was a lot of stuff in the evaluation)#looks like it's more therapy for me. yay.#like there have been more times than not where i have felt less than to people around me. and fearing that people will see how pathetic#i actually am. god no wonder my desire to socialize decreased as my self esteem decreased#i might be repeating the same point over and over#ok so imma bring up the si/oc fic that i just dropped. like i think i *tried* to make a like a more confident version of myself; but i gues#i'll have to put it on pause because my teens were defined by feeling shit about myself. like idk what to do with a character like that#who's supposed to be making moves. like nothing would happen besides survivor's guilt#anyways back to the subject. as my gpa got pathetically low (i can't even share it here or else i'll probably deactivate this blog) and i#started losing jobs. i lost patience with myself. it seemed like other people were able to chug along with the demands of life while i was#fumbling around with no end in sight (tbh i wasn't the only one my close friend from college also has adhd and was really struggling and#another one might have dropped out. my childhood friend who also has adhd is in the same. exact. situation as i am with being unable to#go out in public since we feel like we can't be our “best selves”). then the old question came back: if i can't handle#high school/a part-time job/college on a low courseload then what the fuck was i going to do? some days i'd keep going with new strategies#or new ways to be more productive. but other days i didn't want to keep going#who knew it's not healthy to always assume that people are better than you? even though i have been reframing the more obvious thoughts#it's an automatic and unconscious impulse that just runs in the background of my head. idk if this is just a human thing or...#but because of this at times i'd hold myself back from fear of failure#anyways that's all i've lost my train of thought and have to do errands i've been putting off#txt
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
sixth day at my new school and i didn't sit alone at lunch today 🥳🥳
#woohoo!!#some girls invited me to sit with them so i did and chatted to them and this other guy#some of them are in my classes!! they were all very nice#honestly i was aiming to just try and fit in with the cishet boys and last week when i heard the rumour i was gay i was kinda freaked out#but i've scoped out the situation and it's not unsafe to be out (as bi. not anyone's business i'm trans)#so i realise it's better to just be open and have better chances of finding the right people than living in fear and squashing myself to--#--fit in with the wrong people. bc if i can't be fully myself around someone then why would i want to be good friends with them??#so yar i'll stick with other queer guys and supportive girls. gay guy/straight girl friendships are stereotypical but it's an ecosystem tha#works in a situation like high school tbh#ooo and i guess he was away today but the guy from a couple of my classes who i think is cute is in that group so added bonus#o and actually unrelated but at recess i went to this queer group thing i was invited to by a teacher last week#(recess is first and lunch is sceond)#i wasn't sure if i was going to go (mostly bc of my 'blend in' mindset) but i'm glad i did!! it was pretty nice#mostly just nice to get an idea of 'safe' people and teachers yaknow#'people and teachers' -- those aren't two mutually exclusive categories of being ajdsgjf but ykwim#and if i didn't go then i probably wouldn't have been in the better mindset for being just myself with everyone at lunch#so wahoo yippee :D#now i just needa keep talking to everyone and putting myself out there a bit more and i'll find the right people :)#oscar.exe
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i feel so fucked rn#like i just feel so alone#like whole heartedly alone#i actually feel more alone than b4 this sucks ass#ik hes not reading these so i can say whatever the hell i want#mainly that fig is a fucking asshole#and dear god i know im not important in this house but holy hell its never felt so blatant b4#like damn thats sure a way 2 make me feel fucking hated by someone i consider a friend#and i cant even feel comfortable around my god??? fuck you#like fuck your world and your hobbies all it ended up in was pain anyway#like yea real nice of u 2 just start fucking saying shit- especially shit YOU werent even apart of#WITHOUT ANY DAMN EXPLANATION??? like fuck me thanks for making me have 2 feel like i must plead my case 2 the court 2 not lose a friendship#while you say SO much about everyone ive ever loved or cared about- and say nothing about how youve hurt me- or they have or anyone has-#you werent apart of *most* of this if not any of some of it- like- the fuck is wrong with you??? that was my business and people you never#even fucking met you dickwad- you really just threw me under the bus entirely and for what?#well- ig for a new partner#god isnt it great having exe's who will gladly hurt me 2 high hell and talk about how horrible i am#truly i shouldnt let dominic anywhere near me the guys great and i do not want him 2 get worse as well#i know life's better without me and i wish i wasn't front stuck- the kids mean the damn world to me though and i wanna get better
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
At least I could disable the suggestions but just... I'm sick of it, I'm sick of companies trying to think for me
I'd rather be miserable but doing shit my own way than placid and glass eyed and just taking whatever companies tell me to
Like... literally just asking what I get out of writing a post on tumblr... zero suggestions, just letting me say whatever dumb stuff comes to my head
#the problem is that doing things my way is actually working well; it's just really slow and it's coming from a bad starting point#everything that makes me miserable was even more miserable growing up#you maybe see me and think that I'm doing really horribly; and that may be true; but I'm also truthfully at my peak right now#and frankly as much as I worry about it A LOT; I'm kinda still on the rise in a lot of ways#...I just take way too long to do things; I want to be quicker because a lot of this stuff isn't... it's not being slow and steady#it's being depressed and having trouble working on shit#but... when I do stuff my way the end result tends to be strong#I got a house in 2019 for instance... like in that economy; I feel like that counts as a pretty high roll outcome; you know?#the parts of my life I hate are all... it's like Marley in the Christmas Carol; I've got all these chains around me#and... about 80% of those chains are just my mom or my mom's choices... she blows through so much money all the time#it makes me want to die#but all that shit... it's the past haunting me and drowning me#but shit's better than it was and... I have more friends now that I did in the past; I'm closer to making money than I've been in the past#(part of it is that I kinda want to get shit stabilized in the household; be doing stuff like cooking before I try and sell shit)#(also understand that everyone in high school liked me... we just never saw each other outside of school)#(so it was a situation where I had 'friends'; by that standard everyone at school was a friend)#(but I didn't have a single person I was close with and I was totally isolated in a crowd)#(friend is just a word in english that has to cover a really really wide range of relationships)#(but these days I do have actual friends... just a shame none of us live in the same town... or even state; you know?)#(I like all the people I went to high school with; they all cared a lot and were very bad at it)#(couldn't figure out that like... just give me some company; that's a good 80% of what I'm lacking)#(...I think part of it was they were all stoners and I wasn't; so they felt like... eh... like something something)#(and when I say all stoners I mean... I think... easily 80% of the school; probably 90% and maybe higher were all stoners)#(it uh... was not an easy thing for the staff; cause they obviously all knew; but... figuring out how to best handle it)#(like hell; I wouldn't want to deal with that)#(also like 95% were smokers... you have to understand that most of these kids were rich kids)#(off the top of my head I can only think of 2 other kids who were poor... just... uh...)#(if I named the city the school was in; you'd probably be like 'oh... makes sense')#(I liked everyone there; everyone liked me... just... they were very bad at just basic stuff like spending time together)#(eh... you don't need to hear more)
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success
so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"
#these are all very good reminders. especially during exam season (i am suffering. but at least i'm working on art coursework so it's#suffering i love.) guys i have maybe a bit too many thoughts on ambrose. sculpture. and ceramics. and studio. in my art student 3d era rn#tmr it's black and white 2d so it's vincent vibes instead... anyways. in my breaks i ended up brainstorming more doodles again so..#anywaysndhfnfjfhf sorry to detract! but like these two quotes are holding my sanity intact i think.#at this point even without listening to the live soundtrack it sounds in my head so. lasting impressions i guess. every time i get anxious#' you'll never get better if you fucking die'' sounds in my head and i go ''ah yes there's a whole life outside''#continuing this ramble you ever think how vincent went from you'll never get better if you fucking die to '' first i chose my friend#ambrose for my debut :DD'' realll quick. or also how this principle worked for when he was talking to ambrose about it and then. for himself#he didn't want to get better. he wanted quincy to get better and so '' you'll never get better if you die'' held through to the end#it just wasn't a mentality that saved him... god that screws me up. so many thoughts.#anyways anon!!!! thank you for sending this :3 made my day <33 very vibes#going to put the soundtrack on and power through studio again.. :3 adamandi asks are welcomed ngl teehee#ask me stuff???#on another note sometimes it's so surreal that actors are real people... i guess the magic of theatre is that it makes the characters come#to life.. like i believe actors are real. and deserve to be treated like people. for the record. but also when consuming media and it's the#suspension of disbelief? these are Real Characters i can't believe that someone who isn't them is making these sounds and doing these things#it's so insane. incredible. idk i just have very high admiration for the cast and idk how i got here even... akshdjdhdf#<blinks> they did such a good job akdhdnfhfbgfhff ok bye#first time i swear in the actual post on this blog and not in the tags... of course
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Incredulity OR Informed Consent from Side Wounds
(on talking to someone who is suicidal after losing someone to it)
#poetry#poem#lena's grief poetry archives#lena's poetry archives#writerblr#grief#poets on tumblr#grief poetry#look assholes i've wanted to snuff myself out before so. it's not like i can't empathise#this poem is about Caring and Anger that i am both ashamed of and feel justified about#and i wrote it after i had a conversation backstage at a drag show where i was too drunk#i wasn't in control of my drinking at the time frankly. and the other person was high and i was just. i was drunk and sloppy but i was also#a doctor - i am. i am a medstudent. and this became an informed consent conversation in its way#i cannot talk you out of it. i cannot force you to stay alive i don't have that authority over you#but you. you have to Look At ME. you have to look at what that did to me and you have to Decide that you are actually okay#with doing that to the people who love you. i know i'm not. but like i said i can't make that decision for you#i am just giving you all the information - you have to look at me. it broke me. it ruined me. it killed me. you have to Look.#you have to face what i symbolise#that conversation ended midway because my friend got fucking roofied and then i was dealing with that#they were fine - i was fine - the person i was talking to is afaik fine#it was just one of those miserable summer nights#i quit drinking for a while after that.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have to be honest. when ppl bring up how old jason earles was when he played jackson in hannah montana. i do agree it's a little weird but it's strange when ppl adopt the language of it being, like, somehow creepy. he played a high schooler in his late 20s-early 30s. it's not like ppl don't do that on the cw.
#i remember when i found out how old jason earles is. it mustve been 2010#bc thats when i made facebook#he was also really young-looking in the early seasons?? not like he ACTUALLY looks like a teen#also no it's not CREEPY like it would be for someone to pretend to be a teen at that age irl#to my knowledge most of the actresses cast to be his love interest (at least from the top of my head? im not doing a survey)#were not like... teen starlets like miley and emily osment's age#well hmmm i guess there is that episode where he was into his friend cooper's little sister in s1#i dont know how old that actress was. that was a weird episode regardless#but before his serious girlfriend arc (sienna 🖤) he never had a long-term serious love interest anyway#they were always one-off dates who got sick of his bullshit by the end of the episode like drake parker#text post#me the number one defender of hannah montana (2006-2011) created by michael poryes#that show WAS everything to me#it wasn't necessarily high art but it did have a big influence on me and my interests and dreams and blah blah#i dont think i would be the same person if it werent for hannah montana and later on miley cyrus#miley. one of my favs forever. love her always xoxox
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
Sooo....I'm just realising that your age says 30. It's alarming because I'm some years older than you, and I started following you when you were in your mid 20s, I think. I guess this means I'm old now...
oh no, the sudden and disconcerting recognition of the inexorable passage of time, I know thee well
my condolences, anon, if it makes you feel any better I've started to feel old when I see people on this webbed site talking about being in freshman year of undergrad so I think it's less "you getting old" and more "me coming to meet you in old"
#conversating#anonymous#i feel like i probably have more in common at this point with somebody 40 years old than someone 20 years old you feel#not that i wasn't friends with 40 year olds when i was an actual teenager#i feel like the number of my friends who were older than me through high school#means that i can say i've been making people on the internet feel old for about fifteen years!
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
I really do deserve a fucking apology for all the times my friends and family valued strangers on the internet and their opinions more than me
How am I supposed to be just fine with being ignored for years and years or bullied for openly liking what I like, only for those same fucking people to then turn around YEARS LATER, AFTER THE DAMAGE WAS ALREADY DONE, and be like "actually this is cool, so glad I found it" while still ignoring me. Why am I not allowed to be fucking pissed about it? Why is it considered ""gatekeepy"" when I get upset someone who deliberately ignored me for years and insulted the shit I enjoy when I asked them to get into it cuz I thought they'd like it suddenly finds interest in it because it got popular online, not because I'd been begging them to give it a chance and to listen to me for years???? Why is that not allowed????? THAT'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE MOVE, WHY IS IT 'NOT OKAY' TO BE MAD? WHY DON'T THEY GROW A SPINE AND APOLOGIZE FOR DISMISSING ME FIRST? HOW ABOUT THAT?????
#I fucking hate this it keeps fucking happening#I have a fucking LIST of all the times it's happened this is not a one time thing it's fucking reoccurring#Nothing I say will ever fucking matter to anyone not even the people who are 'supposed' to care about me#Grumble grumble#Literally showed my dad a song and he was like 'well I preferred the one that came on autoplay after'#And I was like 'oh that song? Oh you mean THAT song? OH YOU MEAN THE SONG I SHOWED YOU MONTHS AGO THAT YOU DISMISSED AND CRITICIZED?'#THAT ONE? YEAH? YEAH???#Gee I wonder why you like it NOW and not when *I* showed it to you!#UGHHHHH#Begged my friend to get into OP and he would go 'no it's too long and the art style is kinda ugly'#GUESS WHO'S NOW ASKING ME TO GUIDE HIM THRU THE ANIME CUZ OP WAS TRENDING ON TWITTER OVER THE SUMMER#UGHHHHHHHHH#Begged friends to watch Trig/un for years it was always the first anime I'd recommend anyone when they asked and was always ignored#Guess what everyone did once stampede started *trending on Tumblr*?#They certainly didn't care when I asked or when I was hyping up the trailer for stampede or literally any point before then#Nobody would ever reply to me when I talked about it#But now that it's trending on Tumblr NOW they're interested. GJSGDHDJDJDK#Happened with Pe/rso/na and Ro/tm/nt too.#Begged my middle and high school friends to get into the per/sona series. Nooo never it's sooo lame#Get made fun of for being hyped for 5's release in Calc class#Man you'd never believe who I see on Twitter as the biggest fans nowadays!!#Same with ro/tm/nt begged my friends to watch it but was dismissed and the episode I showed them heavily criticized bc it wasn't 2012#Then learn the same friend who criticized it so heavily bc he *hated it* WAS WATCHING VIDEO ESSAYS EXPLAINING WHY THE FINALE WAS SO GOOD#And there's NEVER any acknowledgement like 'hey sorry I made fun of/hated on this thing I see why you like it now'#Am I actually mental?! Would that not be the polite thing to do???#I would do that if a friend begged me to watch something and I openly dismissed them or criticized it as my reason why#And then later on I saw something online and was like 'actually...'#I would GO TO THAT FRIEND AND BE LIKE 'hey sorry I dismissed you earlier man I get why you like it now' AND THEN WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT#This isn't even about like distant acquaintences some of these people are my best friends and my roommates and my own fucking parents#People I talk to daily or near-daily. You're just not going to acknowledge what happened before??? Just expecting me to be fine with it????
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Related to my tags on the Irish American reblog, how long have bastardized "Celtic" crosses been neo-Nazi symbols? I wasn't aware of this stupid use until I was an adult and my father was equally unaware until I learned about it, and in our Celtic (American) Pride we often used Celtic cross imagery in decor and accessories. Granted these usually did resemble actually woven/knotted crosses (which by no means meant they were authentic. At best a few came from local Celtic Pride fests–which as I said in those tags was plagued by Confederate and Nazi imagery), but most of them came from like JoAnn's or Michael's or Walmart whenever Saint Paddy's Day rolled around. That said, the woven pattern of a Celtic cross is a bitch to draw especially when you have yet to nurture or be nurtured in any art skills, so when my borderline-Gothic ass would doodle graveyards in my school notebooks I would often doodle simplified Celtic crosses as grave markers, which unfortunately just meant a simple cross with a simple circle in it, unfortunately reminiscent of the neo-Nazi symbol.
Me and my family were staunchly Indiana liberals (to be fair that wasn't that shocking in our democrat enclave city) and have only become more leftist as time goes on, so those who knew me well would know I didn't mean anything by it, but like I have to wonder/worry that those who didn't know me well (like most of my classmates. I was pretty lonely in high school) or people who would briefly visit my home or come across us while we were wearing Celtic pins that day or something came away with the wrong impression. I'm especially dismayed at the thought that the kids I knew to be actual neo-Nazis might thought I was one of them
For the record I left school in like twenty eleven and had been doodling graveyards for years and wearing Celtic imagery for even longer. I can't really find out when the "Celtic" cross became a dogwhistle
#Celtic cross#Celtic Pride#tbh when going to those fairs it was under the pretense of being (mostly) Scottish#it was all a farce my dad leaned into because he was adopted by a Scots-Appalachian man with a Scottish name going back to an actual clan#BUT i was never supposed to know he wasn't my biological grandfather (even tho it was pretty damned obvious)#so my dad played heavily on Scottish pride#that said we had Irish ancestry from other branches of the family so we indulged in Irish pride and imagery too#plus we just felt the knotted crosses were pretty and cool looking#anyway i/my dad did end up having more Irish genetics than Scottish pending our DNA tests#the Scottish is there but the Irish is more. especially in me because my bio maternal grandfather was also Irish Appalachian#(i have some Ulster Scots too but less so. which is more surprising because it's more common for 'Irish' Appalachians to be Ulster instead)#somewhat-Gothic because i usually aligned with goths in personality and depression but rarely wore black#i usually wore boys graphic tees with stupid sayings and memes on them#at least until the obscenely stupid dress code went into affect (search my blog for that if you're interested lol it's a saga)#i was lumped in with the goths for lack of better placement anyway but arguably i was more boy scene#my high school didn't really have cliques or anything strictly categorical so like goths would hang with 'preps' and such anyway#but i did have more commonality with Goths and most of my few friends were#anyway I'm losing the thread#rambling in the tags
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
one of my favorite bits i do currently is speaking in swiss german or my local dialect to my friends who aren't from my region
#it's funny how easily people whose dialects do not differ much from high german have no idea what youre talking about anymore#i also have the running theory that people who grew up in a dialect heavy region are better at speaking foreign languages accent-free#(or like without a cliché accent from their first language)#because they are used to turning dialect patterns off when speaking#like i thought the 'german accent' wasn't actually a thing in the real world but then i heard how people from a region with less pronounced#dialect speak english and i was like wow you sound like a cartoon character#anyways i speak extra slow swiss german and my friends get soooo annoyed it's hilarious
7 notes
·
View notes