#(my Lets Go Bitch song)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
entj-vi *takes drag of cigarette*... I haven't heard that name in years
#mbti#enneagram#i'm back bitches#idk if anybody from my era is still online tho#if so how is it going#are we still posting the types as lyrics from songs#are we still making blurbs of irl conversations#are we still witch hunting quote unquote fakers who are mostly minors#let me know
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
burning down the house
#think its really funny how a lot of sexymen have shit going on with fire. i will never let any of these bitches near an oven#also talking heads sweep again. i loooove basing art on their songs forever and ever. autism music#my art#wheatley#portal#bill cipher#gravity falls#komaeda#nagito komaeda#danganronpa#tumblr sexymen
310 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have not listened to hamilton in like a week why is he STILL HERE
read the tags if you want to see me talk about musicals for a little TOO long
#this is no hate to you mr leslie odom jr#but i have most certainly listened to other musicians/bands more#anyways i'd say the rest is accurate#my bff and i have been doing a musical binge#started with wicked -> ride the cyclone -> shrek -> legally blonde -> falsettos#i cried twice at falsettos btw it's so fucked up (i loved it sm)#i've listened to wicked before but haven't actually *seen* it so that was nice#i've also heard a couple songs from ride the cyclone & falsettos b4 so i already knew they'd be good#and i've seen shrek the musical like 3 times bc i unironically love it#overall opinions: ride the cyclone might have my favorite cast of characters and i think falsettos might be my favorite musical now#fav songs (for funsies):#ride the cyclone: noel's lament / the ballad of jane doe / jawbreaker / space age bachelor man (insane song btw)#wicked: no good deed / popular#shrek: i know it's today / don't let me go / i think i got you beat / this is our story / what's up duloc?#falsettos: this had better come to a stop / i'm breaking down / four jews in a room bitching / a tight-knit family/love is blind#falsettos cont.: everyone hates his parents / falsettoland/about time#legally blonde: blood in the water / positive / ireland / chip on my shoulder / so much better / whipped into shape / take it like a man#legally blonde cont.: bend and snap / there! right there! / legally blonde / legally blonde - remix / find my way/finale#SORRY I OPENED A PANDORA'S BOX WHEN I STARTED TALKING ABOUT MUSICALS#i really should've posted this on my other acc oh well#okay i'm gonna shut up now im so sorry LMAO#falsettos#legally blonde musical#legally blonde the musical#shrek the musical#shrek musical#wicked#wicked musical#ride the cyclone
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
god i love frozen so much
(i'm listening to broadway frozen again)
#queen anointed and dangerous to dream#and monster and true love and hygge#I CANT LOSE YOU#and god i even like fixer upper better in the broad way version and i lowkey hate that song#and hans of the southern isles oh my god they make him SO likeable im so mad hes evil still to this day#we were robbed with that stupid twist villain plotline and i stand by that#i do hate finale let it go tho like when anna goes 'elsa... Let it Go~' like... bitch#no one but elsa is allowed to sing about letting go and certainly no one should be Telling her to let it go???? Messed up for real#WHEN ELSA SINGS BACK DO YOU WANNA BUILD A SNOWMAN THRU THE DOOR#im sobbing and crying every time#i wasnt even that into frozen when it first came out and yet i am continuously and predictably obsessed with it#ever since i saw that live production of it back in 2016.....#its plagued me
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
Orville peck on tour but if I've learned anything about gays and this specific venue it's that I am not gonna see SHIT
#have I told the crj story?? I'm gonna tell it again#my friends who said they'd go canceled on me#and I got high as shit cus I was going alone#and the edible immediately won I had to get off the bus and get a donut so I could stop breathing on manual#I was already late to the show#I missed the opener#and I love empress of#anyways I get there and it's just tall white men as far as the eye can see#I've literally never seen this venue so packed people standing all the way up against the bar#and this is the largest non stadium venue#I start chugging waters cus I cannot let this edible beat my ass like this#I am wearing a mock neck idk why I wanted to be stylish#she finally plays call me maybe and like a fraction of people leave but it's not enough I still cannot see shit#I cannot see the stage at ALLL#she plays my fav song and decide I'm leaving#no signal in this bitch so I have to walk all the way outside to call my friend to pick me up#it's so fucking cold and all I got is a denim jacket and my friend is like 20 minutes out so I just walk west while she drives north#I guess that's the edn of the story it might have been lightly raining but I think it only rained the way there#I spent like 30 minutes at that concert max cus I got so fucking paranoid with that edible#sorry guysss I am not a sativa girl that shit scares mee
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
every day avoid making amvs of MASH using crazy ex girlfriend songs, but I should at least make a list....
#MASH#fit hot guys have problems too = trapper and bj#sexy french depression song = the interview#you ruined everything you stupid bitch = margaret or hawkeye depending on the episode#settle for me = frank at margaret#love kernels = margaret :(#let's have intercourse = hawkeye and margaret#sexy getting ready song = klinger#gettin bi = mash ensemble#without love = my aromantic agenda of the show#i go to the zoo = radar#im the villain in my own story = (bj)#who's the new guy = charles#etcetcetc#crazy ex mash
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
literally though you survive like 100% of your worst days and years and lifetimes and
#pk;m Volition🟣#yeah this year's in our too 5 worst years riiiiight under 2014. but anyways#the other 3 are 2020-2022 btw. DHSHSJSJD#and y'know wha t !!! i dorgot what i was going to say. fuck!#oHj right something something we r like a roach . i refuse to die btw#or at least let Us die. i am a stubborn bitch#this thiught briught to u by: I am listeninf 2 my favourite song and i am snuggling my husband [!!!] in-sys. and i am happy :]
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
*Gritting my teeth* I Will Not add love songs to Lyra's playlist I WON'T DO IT I WON'T!!
#he dont got nobody that makes his heart flutter or whatever cheesy crap people write these days /lh#like sorry the. i let myself put in 1 (one) song from The Sapphic Album (Burn Pygmalion) and now just like with Vivi its like ADD THIS SONG#ADD THIS SONG TOO! OO THIS ONE TOO and its like GUYS THIS IS A LOVE ALBUM. WE CALL IT THE SAPPHIC ALBUM FOR A REASON.#THESE CHARACTERS DONT HAVE LOVE INTERESTS.#anyway bottom line#I. Yeah im coping with the possibility of her dying by thinking nonstop about him living with Emily what of it#Hey ill have stuff to make me feel better when they all DIE. HEY WHAT IF LYRA DIES AND EMILY LIVES. WHAT THEN BITCH#LOOKING MY DM IN THE FUCKING EYES.#I swear to god#If you pull an Epilogue I will s c r e a m ok.#do you understand.#the possibility of death has been fucking plaguing me. Also lyra is very much having an 'im in danger' moment#like might not. uh. go back up?? she might be the KHUNOTH WE'RE GETTING OUR ASSES KICKED guy#anyway. thoughts! 10 pm thoughts! this is what you do to me DM although im sure youre well aware of it by now#c: dnd related#lyra
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
august and the 1 are the only songs here that are not songs that i listen to much / are not one of my favorites... but tlgad is a masterpiece of a storyteller wrapped up in the neatest little package (with the biggest ever bow on it) filled with folklore, camp, comedy, irony and sarcasm. I can't fully and accurately sum up all the things it manages to be. It's the biggest chameleon of the TS discography
#let me break it down (this is how i see it... imo)#mtr + timt + mirrorball + seven = heartbreaking/beautiful/haunting/soul crushing#imo none of these are worse or better than tlgad (i love them all)#if the question was; which one would do best as a single? probably august since a lot of people outside the fandom love it#tlgad#(my Lets Go Bitch song)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
this song ain’t got no right to be scratchin’ my brain as much as it does
#and i mean that as a compliment#Seven.txt#music stuff#Warren Zeiders#Spotify#gonna start making more use of Tumblr’s features and putting the actual songs i’m obsessed with in the body of posts#instead of just talking abt them in tags. i like music and y’all r gonna Hear about it no matter how bad my taste may be#anyways i’m at an internal war over this song#half of me is like ‘it’s just one of a million Mainstream Country Songs where some white guy sings abt heartbreak. what’s so great abt it?’#but the other half of me is like ‘yeah but. ur weak to that shit. that’s ur kryptonite bitch. it’s in ur blood. we Know this.’#‘also. nice voice + country accent + he’s blaming Himself and not just the girl + 2:40-3:00 makes u go apeshit every time.’#‘Also the cover image is hot as hell and it makes u think of that shot of Boothill standing at that pool table.’#‘oh yeah And the whole damn thing is giving off Seth YuuriVoice vibes. so like. yeah’#and i nod my head in reluctant agreement like yeah ok i guess ur right. damn#anyways if anyone needs me i’ll be in the corner listening to this on loop until i make myself sick of it#hsr boothill#Seth YV#yea fuck it i’ll tag them too why not#if anyone disagrees with me pls keep it to yourself it’s just my opinion pls let me have it in peace
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
when everything goes to shit so you just start "dancing, walking, rearranging furniture, babs is- shopping. i let the bird out of the cage" to the tune of virtual insanity
#literally this is keeping me from the brink of losing my mind#family guy#family guy memes#anyways if someone would like a link to the video i'm talking about lmk but it's as easy as searching it up in youtube tbh#kate rambles from here#when all else fails go for silly versions of songs - like buddy holly but it's only matt sharp#or earth wind and fire with kiss and i was made for boogie wonderland#i will work on cultivating hope & happiness tomorrow for now i will be giving myself artificial laughter and pretending it's all a funny#memory- but rn 'it was so bad snoopy'#DANCING- WALKING- REARRANGING FURNITURE- BABS IS- SHOPPING. I LET THE BIRD OUT OF THE CAGE-#john denver said “if you don't vote you've got no right to bitch” mr. denver i did vote- i am crying and bitching ty vv much sir#this is filled with what my mind is going thru in the tags and i hope if you've read this far- that you've at least let out a little laugh#if not- well me neither- but like we'll get thru this- no matter what- i promise you that- there's sm hate in this world- let's be the hope#until then- let's be safe and care for one another more than we already do#and happiness we'd like to see once we've done grieved- don't get stuck in the grief- i promise together- we'll get thru it#love ya~#god idk how messed up the tags are on tumblr anymore- so i hope i'm not randomly tagging topics but if i am yikes sorry#kate rambles
1 note
·
View note
Text
I think it's best fir everyone I'm not famous/a celebrity
#you guys ever think wha it would be like if you were famous?#i think i woyld be one of the celebrities that people say have no media training#but all i say is sctually carefully chosen#but they wouldnt know that#carefully chosen by me btw#im nit letting people tell me what to say#back to what this post is about#i would be getting trashed for my opinions#like someone would mention the song if achillies#and id star going off#about how its fucking shit#it wnd with me talking abiut the telegony idk#on the other side tho unrelated to this#i would speak up for my beliefs too#I would speak up when i notice i justice#which would probably add to the “they need proper media trainign”#or whatever the fuck it is#also reminded of the queer aspect of it too#you know what#maybe i should be famous#show these bitches how its done#fuck them im better than them#i wont keep money i dont fucking need#i wont be a fukung millionaire#no one needs that much money#maybe its what the world needs#fuck#ok maybe too far#Corvid Rambles <3#corvid talks about smth
0 notes
Text
Why did I have a bad/good dream at the same time 🗣️… well, the only good part about the dream was that Megan and I became friends trapped in a subway and ended up duetting r&b songs 🥺.
#what the hell#for some reason there was sm going on in the dream#like it started off with this old white lady with dementia (who was known to be a bitch) being all alone and stranded and my sister#and I felt bad even though we didn’t like her but we couldn’t just let an old lady fend for herself so we looked out for her and she#thought we were her grandkids for some reason 😵💫#i remember my sister and I joking that once she comes to she’s gonna think we were trying to rob her 😭#then there was this group of skin heads attacking ppl and one of them tried to attack Megan and I saved her??? then other black ppl came#out of nowhere and beat up some Nazi’s and somehow we were in NY because the guys who helped had NY accents and were like ‘Megan we got#your back-‘ lmfao#but everyone was somehow trapped on the subway#Megan eventually left? I guess it was because she’s a celeb but no one else was allowed to leave and we had to play a game of super Mario#bros as Mario in Order to win our freedom and#i remember my mom somehow being there to play even tho she wasn’t even trapped in the subway but now all of a sudden she was there lol#she kept dying because she sucked at games so I had to take over otherwise we’d all die#oh yeah#we had to play for our lives as well not just our freedom#if you lose a certain amount of times you die#but we were actually inside of the game ourselves running around and jumping on mushrooms#like jumanjii I guess#a lot of fights kept on breaking out on the subway as well#there was a lot more but this was the gist of it#and the song that Megan and I sung was shorty like mine by bow wow lmfaooo#the fact that I remember this shit#we started singing the course or whatver at the same time and then started to laugh and she’d mentioned that the song actually sucks and I#was like ‘🫤’#this is so silly why did I dream of all of thissjsjs#why were the white supremacists there lmfao#why did we have to play Mario in Order to survive 🗣️#rambling#silly as hell
0 notes
Note
Hahahaa he's so "bright talented young man alters himself to attain greatness and escape a life he was unhappy with but despite warnings (he ignored them) fails in the end and dies while his father lives on without him"
Secondly though I also HAD to throw on some Mother Mother. Notably, Body (tbh a disabled bitch anthem imo) and Arms Tonight (y'know. Bc the end of the game). Stg I'll send you the playlists for the Arakawa's when I'm done with them. I take my sweet ass time tho v sorry hahaha 😂
Litcherallyyyyyy thats what im sayin bro..... esp when in the story of icarus his father helps him escape the island/helps him succeed and when icarus does fail his father is left imprisoned.... does that not happen to our icarus too.... does that not happen to his father also..... wild....
And take your time with your playlists, no rush ! A dude knows what its like tryin to make it Just Right
#snap chats#the icarus comparison is more ironic considering in the story icarus plummets to the ocean and drowns...#And If We Say Irony. Since Arakawa Was Dumped In The Ocean. lol....#but noo i gotta be so guilty since growin up i always took Body as a trans allegory. or at least adjacent#and ik i havent breathed about it in Months but aoki did evoke trans energy... to me... to my delulu-ass brain...#but then i feel bad cause aspects of him that Yell trans to me are actually about his disability so i feel like im disregarding it#even tho thats not my intent i was just too silly playin y7 the first time around 😭☠️☠️ its generally why i dont talk bout it tbh..#too delulu.. and i feel awkward talkin bout hcs like that BUT MOVING ON THIS IS NOT ABOUT THAT#either way body Does fit. esp with the whole Take My Lungs Take Them And Run bit ☠️#Take My Tongue And Go Have Some Fun can also be representative of aoki’s influence and- apparently- the publics inclination to follow him#I.E. with His Tongue anything can be passed or anything that has his backing can be validated#BUT IM NOT HERE TO DO AN ANALYSIS ON MUSIC AND AOKI even if i really want to.........#i will say tho... im 90% sure theres a line about Taking Eyes but i cant look it up rn lest my tumblr app reser and i have to type all this#but anyway That Refers To This Bitch’s Eyesight Getting Worse#im gonna go listen to that song now its stuck in my head.. uh oh...#everyone always say Mother Mother is Basic and that may be true but so am i so let me listen while i be sad THANK YOU.#ok bye <3 ive prattled too long and my phone will surely die soon and i want One (1) listen in <3
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG MAPS BY MAROON FIVE IS CAMILA DUNNE'S SONG
#i was there for you in your darkest times BUT I WONDER#WHERE WERE YOU!!!WHEN I WAS AT MY WORST DOWN ON MY KNEES!#AND YOU SAID YOU HAD MY BACK SO I WONDER WHERE YOU!!! (with daisy or in rehab and or groupies)#WHEN ALL THE ROADS YOU TOOK CAME BACK TO ME (billy the bitch said that it was always going to be Camila unless she died)#IT'S HARD TO RESIST TEMPTATION (eddie in the show and i think gary in the book#AND IM FOLLOWING THE MAP THAT LEADS TO YOU!!(she will always find her way back to him even after he disrespect her in the worst waypossible)#THE MAP THAT LEADS TO YOU!!! AIN'T NOTHING I CAN DO!! (SHE KNOWS she knows that she can't take that stupid love that billy has for daisy#away but she still wants things to work out bc y'know of the kids that she takes care of 'practically all by herself' even when she knows#that he will always think about daisy because she's(daisy) is practically the girl version of billy when he was an active drug addict and#he can't help but still make excuses for himself to be this tragic hero or victim of his daddy's actions#BUT SHE STILL STAYS BECAUSE THEIR LOVE IS BETTER FOR THEM WHILST BILLY'S AND DAISY'S (at the time) WAS SO FUCKIN TOXIC#I WILL STAND BY THE NOTION THAT BILLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN DAISY'S SPONSOR OMFG I HATE THAT CHEATING ASS BUM#THAT SELF OBSESSED LOSER DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIS LIFE SO HE SETTLES ON BEING A MORE SUCCESSFUL VER. OF HIS DAD#DAISY AND BILLY 'In LoVe'<<<<<DAISY AND BILLY HAVING A SPONSOR/SPONSEE!!!!#BILLY COULD HAVE ACTUALLY SHOWN THAT HE HAS LEGITIMATELY CHANGED BY HELPING THAT POOR WOMAN INSTEAD OF LEADING HER ON AND FUCKIN HER!!!#HE COULD HAVE SHOWN CAMILA THAT HE ACTUALLY CHANGED BY STAYING IN THE SAME ENVIRONMENT THAT LEAD HIM TO CHEAT AND NOT FUCKIN CHEAT ON HER#emotional cheating is so fucked up (ALSO HE WROTE LOVE SONGS THAT WEREN'T ABOUT HIS WIFE ALL ALONE WITH SOMEONE THAT WASN'T HIS WIFE???FUCK)#BILLY COULDN'T CONTROL HIS EMOTIONS SURE BUT TO LEAD HER ON LIKE THAT?!?#AND LETTING EVERYONE THINK THAT YOU'RE*STILL* DISRESPECTING YOUR WIFE LIKE THAT AGAIN WHILE STILL FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUR CO-STAR?!?#someone should have castrated his ass i swear to god i was about to reach through the screen/page and strangle his ass-#I CAN'T GET OVER YOU?!?(She would always come back to him even though she really really wanted to get away from the pain that he caused her)#I HEAR YOUR VOICE IN MY SLEEP AT NIGHT (Billy's late night phone calls because he's lonely bc daisy and the band are out partying)#IT'S HARD TO RESIST TEMPTATION#(eddie in the show and i think gary in the book. she's tempted by the idea of actually getting treated right but no one can beat billy 🙄)#I MISS THE TASTE OF A SWEETER LIFE (their relationship before Billy's adultery and addiction)#I MISS THE CONVERSATION#(the way that billy used to talk to cami before he tiptoed around the fact the he sleeps with other women when she was pregnant#or is in love with someone that he spends more time with than his wife and kid when he's on tour. like he wad more carefree and happy 🫤)#I'M SEARCHING FOR A SONG TONIGHT! IM CHANGING ALL OF THE STATIONS (no matter she goes looking for a way out she hears their voice why?#because their constantly on the top of the charts bc people love to hear daisy and billy together. she tries to escape but she can't 🙁)
1 note
·
View note
Text
Potion Vendor FAQs:
What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.
Do you sell love potions? No.
Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.
Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.
Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.
Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.
So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.
Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.
Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.
Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.
Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.
Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.
Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.
So can you make poison potions? No.
Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.
Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.
How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.
You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.
Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.
Road trip? He lives in Seattle.
Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.
For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.
And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.
Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.
Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.
You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.
So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.
Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.
Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.
Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.
What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.
You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.
Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.
Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.
Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.
Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.
Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.
Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.
When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.
When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.
Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.
Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.
Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.
Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.
I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.
How did you know that? …I’m psychic.
Yeah? No.
You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.
Did you just miss a turn? Probably.
Are you sure we’re not lost? No.
You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.
Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.
Would it help if I said it was? It would.
Is it getting dark? Soon.
Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.
Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.
Should we find a motel? Sure.
One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.
You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.
Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.
Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.
How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.
How many beds are there? One.
Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.
Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.
How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.
Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.
For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.
Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.
Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.
Are you asleep? …
Yes? …
Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …
What should I say? …
Did you know that I had a really nice day? …
Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …
Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …
Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …
Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …
Did you know that you’re warm? …
Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.
Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.
Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.
What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!
Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.
You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!
Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.
Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.
You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.
Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.
Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.
How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.
Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.
150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.
Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.
And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!
Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.
And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.
So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.
So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!
Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.
Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.
Are you done eating? Yep.
Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.
How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.
Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.
Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.
What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.
Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.
Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…
Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.
Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?
When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.
Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.
What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.
Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.
What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.
Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.
Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.
What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.
I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …
Did he get his body modified? …
What sort of surgery could do that? …
How is he still alive? …
Did a fucking wizard do it? …
WHY? …
HOW? …
Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …
I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.
Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.
Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.
Can we do that? Of course.
Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.
Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.
Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.
Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.
How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.
How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.
That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.
Wanna fuck? God yes.
Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.
…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.
How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.
How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!
Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.
When will we get there? Noon-ish.
Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.
Is this Seattle? Looks like it.
Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.
Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.
So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA
Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA
Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.
Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.
So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!
How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.
Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.
Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.
Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!
Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!
Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.
I just caught this, but, FAQ? …
As in Frequently Asked Questions? …
How many times is Frequent? …
Have you known everything all along? …
How many times have you done this? …
Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!
And you say that every time? Yes. I do.
Do you love me? Yes.
How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.
Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.
Can I go now? Please don’t.
But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.
How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.
What happens at the end of this? It begins again.
And do I get replaced with someone else? …
Do I get replaced? …Yes.
Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!
You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.
How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?
Did you know my name is Alice? …
Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …
Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …
Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!
Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.
Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.
Be good to the next me, okay? I will.
Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…
What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.
Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.
What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.
What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!
What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.
Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.
What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.
What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!
So I should keep repeating something? Yes!
I love you? I love you too.
I love you? Again.
I love you? Keep going.
I love you? I’ll just let you talk.
I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!
I love you? Now can you make it a statement?
I love you.
You did it?
I did it!
You did it!
We broke the loop.
What now?
Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.
And then?
Whatever we want, forever.
I think I’d like that.
Remember that song from the beginning?
The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?
We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?
Let me off, let me in
Let others battle
We don’t need to battle
And we both shall win
Pressed in my palm
Was a stone from the beach
The perfect circle
Gave a moment of peace
Now I’m lying on the floor
Like I’m not worth a chair
I close my eyes and imagine
I’m not there.
#neon-grey-writing#potion vendor faq#my writing#very very very long post lol#click the read more you know you wanna it's worth it trust me#i wrote the original draft of this at like. 3 am back in early 2023#that's right it's catherine that-house the squares comic gal back at it again with yet another meta exploration of a storytelling format
11K notes
·
View notes