#crazy ex mash

[variousqueerthings]

every day avoid making amvs of MASH using crazy ex girlfriend songs, but I should at least make a list....

[fleeglefazbeagle]

@yoarmy 's part of their art trade with me.

(Don't worry, I got their permission to post this here.)

"OH! IT'S HIM, IT'S FREDDY! OOO!"/ref

[youngpettyqueen]

there should've been an episode where Hawkeye and Margaret had to fake date

[movietonight]

@discocaptain

Mash ft Crazy Ex-Girlfriend lyrics for @borealnyx

[reidsglasscs]

SO OBSESSED WITH YOUR EX!

✸ pairing: jason grace x fem!aphrodite!reader

✸ summary: it’s not your fault that your sister’s ex boyfriend is so stuck in your head that you can think of little else but him

✸ warnings: intense makeout but nothing more

✸ a/n: ik we’re all tired of the aphrodite reader, but it’s essential to the plot 🥲 anyways, justice for my man jason, he needs more fics

You shouldn’t have been thinking about your sister’s ex boyfriend so much, and especially not like this.

Piper and Jason broke up two months ago and had both well since moved on. No hard feelings involved, just a little resolution that they were better off as friends.

It wasn’t a big deal. Really, it wasn’t.

You shouldn’t have felt so bad about how much you thought about him. He was just so captivating, so beautiful. You remembered every detail Piper had ever told you about him as well as every one you had learned on your own.

The curve of his lips and the pale scar scored through them. The flex of his muscles when he trained. Those glasses that made him look unfairly attractive.

Gods, it made you so upset that you weren’t supposed to be thinking about him like this, obsessing over the fact that you couldn’t have him.

Maybe Piper wouldn’t care. Or maybe, she’d be inflamed by the fact that you’d gotten with her ex boyfriend, friendly breakup or not. There was probably some girl code about this, right?

There definitely was, and your sisters would probably have your head if they knew you were busy breaking it.

You tried your best to stay away from Jason, you really did. If you just kept your distance, you could harbor the obsession in your own mind, keep it to yourself.

But of course, the son of Jupiter just had to notice it. Notice your distance. Notice you.

It was his fault, really, what was happening. He was the one who had approached you at the campfire, his mind set on getting an answer as to why you were trying to avoid him.

He was the one who’d followed you back to the cabins when you took off. He was the one who provoked you first.

It wasn’t your fault that everything just came spilling out. All your feelings and secrets, pretty much everything short of your guts, spewed from your mouth when you just couldn’t take the questions anymore.

This was going to hurt, you knew it would. You were prepared. And maybe, you wanted to get a little hurt.

But what you weren’t prepared for was that maybe, Jason Grace was just as obsessed with you as you were with him.

“I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it!” You had confessed, standing in front of the door to Cabin Ten. “You drive me absolutely crazy, Jay. And I’m probably just embarrassing myself, but you wanted an answer and this is it.”

Jason looked at your face and then down at the wrist he’d caught to stop you from going inside your cabin and that he was still holding onto. His skin was hot. His head was spinning.

He was standing really close to you. You let out a deep breath, preparing for a rejection that would be embarrassing as hell.

“Who says you shouldn’t?” He breathed out the question, a tempting little smile on his lips.

You looked at his lips. He looked at yours. You went for it.

You grabbed his forearm of the hand still holding onto you and yanked him forward. In a rush of adrenaline, you pushed your lips against his.

He responded immediately, hands gripping onto the sides of your waist as his lips mashed against yours feverishly.

You skin was alive with delight, your head buzzing with excitement.

You stumbled backwards and grabbed onto the doorknob behind you, the boy following blindly after you. You twisted it with one hand, pulling him closer to you by his arm with the other.

Nobody was inside, they were all still at the campfire and should be for another good hour.

You made your way inside somehow, hardly pulling yourself away from his captivity. On the other side of the cracked door, you looked up at him, a moment of hesitation.

“This is a bad idea, right?” You asked as you caught your breath, which mixed together with his.

“You think so?” he asked, pressing a quick kiss to your wet lips. Moonlight filtered in through the cabin windows and covered him in a beautiful glow.

“I don’t know,” you answered. Looking at him, nothing seemed like a bad idea. You knew he’d slept on the opposite side of one of these beds as Piper, you knew he’d once maybe loved her.

You knew all of that. He did too. But still, you couldn’t help it.

“Well I do. I know.” He said. The hand he had on you slid up your arm and over your shoulder, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Damn son of Jupiter and his electricity.

He rested it against your cheek, warm and tingly against your skin. He stared at you like maybe he wanted to risk getting hurt too.

“I haven’t been able to get you out of my head for weeks.” He confessed, his voice husk. He trailed his other hand up your arm until it mirrored his other, now holding your face between his hands. You thought you just might die on the spot.

“Still think this is a bad idea?” He asked, face so close to yours that you could almost taste him again.

Even if it was a bad idea, it’d be fine.

“Not at all.”

He pulled you in this time. He held one hand on the side of your neck, the other on your face, and kissed you with ferocity.

You let him push you back until your back hit the door, closing it fully with a satisfying click.

You pushed your lips against his hard. No amount of close was close enough. You felt dizzy, lightheaded with bliss.

Your hands slid down his abdomen to the hem of his shirt and then, underneath. Your fingers pressed against his skin, sending shivers up his spine.

You could feel a smile tug at his lips as they moved methodically with yours, right beside where his scar was.

You’d always thought about what it might feel like, and now, you were rhapsodic that you had found out.

He forced his lips away from yours and began trailing sloppy little kisses from the corner of your mouth and across your jaw, lower and lower until his lips slotted against your neck.

You tilted your head back to assist, give him more room to roam. When it knocked against the wood behind it, he brought his hand up behind your head, carefully putting a barrier between you and the door.

He moved further down your collar bone, teeth and tongue and lips all heavenly against your skin.

One particular nip provoked a gasp from you, and your nails dug into the flesh of his abdomen, leaving little crescent shapes that would be there in the morning to remind him.

No sooner did you hear voices. Outside, there were footsteps crunching against the grass and the sound of voices as campers returned from the campfire. The one time they end early.

“Jase,” you sighed, your hands crawling out from underneath his shirt, much to your dismay. “People are coming.”

He pulled away from you, looking at you with disheveled hair, swollen lips, and beautiful as ever. He looked at you like you were the most precious thing on earth, smiling at the fact he had been allowed to lay hands on you.

“You kicking me out?” He asked teasingly, voice low and insanely attractive so that it was such a shame he couldn’t stay.

“I dunno, do you want to get caught?”

“Hmm, maybe next time.”

You suppressed a smile as you pushed him towards the window at the back of the cabin. “Next time?”

“Yep,” he quipped, pushing open the glass pane and letting in the summer air. It was almost like he’d done it before. “None negotiable. You’re stuck with me now, sweetheart.”

You breathed out a laugh as he ducked down towards the window. “Get out.”

The doorknob to the cabin twisted, and Jason pressed a chaste kiss to your head, whispered to you a goodnight, and then he was gone.

You could hear his feet hit the grass as the door swung open and in walked Piper and Drew.

“What was that?” Piper asked as you quickly slammed window shut.

“Nothing.”

[angelsbless]

hi! i saw u taking requests so i wanted to ask if you could u do a lil one shot of ur first kiss with mash? •w•;;

Aww that's so cute, mash also is such a sweetheart. Here you go i hope you like it dear 🤍

Mash burndead x reader first kiss (one shot)

After a little while from dating mash and sharing warm hugs and holding hands together you two were making cream puffs in the kitchen after school.

You weren't excellent at baking, but you enjoyed cooking so mash was explaining to you the recipe because GOD he was born to be a baker for real.

You tried your best to understand his explanation but he wasn't being clear enough so you decided to just follow his steps.

You tried copying everything he was doing and made sure you were taking the correct measurements and adding the exact ingredients, you didn't pay attention to the surroundings because you were too focused on making your boyfriend proud by baking him the most delicious cream puff.

Mash was observing how concentrated you were and he thought that you were so cute, like SO DAMN CUTE! you + cream puff the best that he could want! Man was in heaven!His ears become a bit red and he was excited to taste your cream puffs.

His thoughts were interrupted by your soft voice calling his name "mash?" You were calling him in the sweetest tone giving him the most adorable look while being covered in flour.

Mash's exe has stopped working , he blushed like crazy " y-yes?" He said while covering his face with his hand. You walked to him with the plate of cream puffs in your hand. " I finally finished mash, let's try them together, i hope you like them. " You said then gave him that sweet smile of yours.

He tasted one of the cream puffs and it was so good and what made it better is that it was made by you, when he looked at you to compliment your job his heart raced like hell.

" it's goo-"

" mm mash it's yummy i never thought i'll make something this good."

you raised your sight only to see him blushing like a red tomato, "what's wrong mash?" You said softly not knowing that you're destroying this man and killing him from the inside with your sweetness, the way you just said that with some cream at the corner of your mouth made him crazy frr!

He grabbed your cheek softly and his other hand pressed your body against his, and grabbed your waist, he wanted to kiss you so badly, he was closing the distance, no, the millimeters separing you too, yet he stopped before touching your lips and asked

" can i ? "

You were blushing at his actions, he made you hella nervous yet in a good way.

" you don't need to ask dummy "

You said softly to him then felt his lips against yours, he kissed you gently until you were breathless and then said.

" i couldn't help it you looked so yummy ".

[bugbugchev]

posted to reddit & tiktok already but i thought you guys would appreciate this mashle height chart i put together. only includes s1&s2 characters w/ fullbody refs. more thoughts below cut

all of them overlayed to the best of my ability. some of them are peeking out 😭🥲

some of these heights surprised me because i feel like certain characters have inherently tall or short energy and it doesn’t align with their actual height. (ex. i always imagined the height order of the prefects to be margarette>rayne>abel, but was shocked to see rayne being shorter. i strongly feel short energy from abel!!)

i also didn’t realize that mash is quite averagely sized compared to his friends, being directly in the middle height wise of the five. i guess that plays into the whole idea of him looking extremely average. he always seemed very tall, but i guess that lends to a) the proportions of the artstyle (everyone looks huge) and b)the fact that most of these character heights are from the fanbook and the mangaka probably assigning heights randomly.

also margarette is so tall!! i love them!! i love when authors make femininely presenting characters and give them a crazy height boost. so girlboss.

wirth is also surprisingly tall too?? i imagine that he’s built like a toothpick. i like that he is the younger yet taller brother. such a cute trope!

if you made it this far, enjoy a doodle of my favorite characters (two strong mothers and their neurodivergent kids)

[tacky-optic]

releasing my simple Jigen's Evil Exes compilation onto the world. there are. so many.

sparked by this post from @ctrl-lupin. colored by whether they were a dick or not. enjoy

Dynamite Joe ... Prison of the Past

Gallanco ... Pt 3. Ep. 6

Riat ... Seven Days Rhapsody

Crazy Mash ... Hemingway Papers

André ... Last Job

Brad Roark ... Pt. 6 Ep. 8

Hyena ... Alcatraz Connection

seven on the dot! simultaneously feels like way too many and not enough. surely there isn't any sort of referential joke to be made here....

[geodraws04]

PKMN ScarVio DLC AU ~ Possessed!Kieran

Just finished the page for my contribution to the good ol’ Toxic Chain theory :OOO

I recently finished the Teal Mask and finishing up the Indigo Disk DLC and while i really did like the fact that Kieran’s actions were all his own and makes him a much more realistic/relatable character, I am feeling a little robbed we didn't get a possessed!kieran + i really did not like the direction they took w/ Mochi Mayhem. I felt like it was WAAAY too silly/comedic for my tastes (if you liked it more power to you tho!), and wish we had more lore/backstory and involvement of Pecharunt and the Loyal 3 respectivally.

so i wanted to try killing two birds with one stone and try to mash ID and MM together somewhat! So heres some sketches and concept stuff ft. My PKMN!Violet sona. And also make this AU ANGSTY AS FUCK-

im not a comedy/crack/silly person when it comes to stories involving manipulation/mind control type of stuff because i just get second hand embarressment for those under doing wierd stuff while not aware so if your looking for a “silly haha!” AU with this type of concept ive got bad news for ya… this AU aint gonna be for you-

Starting off… my design for when Kieran is fully possessed by Pecharunt!

I still really liked the fact that Kieran was like. FULLY aware and in his own mind/body during ID; so i want to keep that in this AU too - for the most part.

id like to think that once making a deal with Pecharunt and offering himself to it in order to become stronger, the little peach would slowly feed him mochi that would “numb the pain and guilt if he ever feels doubtful.” At the time of Pecharunt’s debut to the start of ID, pecharunt is extremely weak and thus, its influence isnt as effective or strong. However, when we meet Kieran again, he’s definately beginning to change. throughout the story, we see Kieran’s spiraling descent into madness as he becomes more intimidating and cynical.

i dont have a specific spot where hed have this outfit change, but ill figure it out lol.

However, i def think it would be a bit after his panic attack/mental break down when we defeat him. Since at this point he couldnt uphold his end of the deal with Pecharunt, it has no choice: he offered his body and mind to it to get stronger, but he couldnt keep it up. So now, he has to pay the price.

(This would be right after the Ex-Champ bit - fuck you Draydon)

however, instead of telling himself to get stronger like in canon… he mumbles something indescernable and unintelligable… and then he starts… laughing?

“K-Kieran…?”

“Uh… yo, earth to ex-champion… you doin’ alright-?”

Suddenly… he glares at us… no. He glares at you, tears streaming down his face but an animalistic and crazily wide smile is plastered on his face as he stumbles back up, hugging himself while letting out what one would think is the most maniacal, despairing, crazy cackling laughter one could hear.

That's when you see it - his eyes, formally a light yellow, now a bright yet darkly sinister shade of violet-magenta. The scrunchie he was wearing began growing two strings of toxic chains that waved around like tentacles, and lifted him up in the air like stilts, purple smoke filling the area.

what was happening… whats happened to Kieran.

no, whatever that was…

Thats not Kieran.

The bottom sketch is a small scenario i had in mind!

i want pecharunt to have a larger role so here they are! After returning the teal mask to me and carmine and running off, he stumbles upon an injured and weak Pecharunt, and secretly nurses it back to health. Behind everyone’s backs the two spark a friendship/partnership!

i like to think pecharunt has good intentions and did genuinely want to help kieran get stronger, but i like to think that the toxins it gave to Kieran not only began to mess with Kieran’s mind, but with Pecharunt’s too.

how exactly? No idea just yet lol- ill figure that out later on down the line lol. Along with the loyal 3’s roles in the story as well.

Heres a few for fun and more funny sketches i made to fill up the empty space lol-

also feat. Moi, yuma and shinigami jykghhfjhfdjhygjuy-

QUICK DISCLAIMER! IM NOT SHIPPING MYSELF W/ KIERAN SINCE HES IMPLIED TO BE A TEEN AND IM A LEGAL ADULT!! the DLC came out when i was 17; almost 18 (released a few days before my bday actually!)

i like to think that when this story and AU respectively take place, Kieran is 14 while im 16 turning 17 that fall in Teal Mask (Carmine being 18 or 19?), then in Indigo Disc Kieran is 16, im 18, and Carmine is 19/20. So me and kieran are 2 years apart, while me and Carmine are 1-2 years apart.

Its mostly because id like to think me and kieran’s dynamic is similar to a close friend i have irl and wanted to write it as such while retaining the canon story too. If that makes sense lol.

And one more sady drawing when kieran is freed from Pecharunt’s control!

i think i speak for everyone that we needed a scene where we hugged kieran after all the shit he’s been through-

justice for my baby boy kieran. :,,,))

AAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW!!

what do yall think :000

any suggestions/ideas, critiques, whatever is on your mind about this AU is appreciated!! Im gonna get back to my remnant designs lol-

[moodooivy]

Y'all. Here's my playlist of all songs that fit RadioStatic/RadioSilence/SilentStatic

Radio Static ~ Bumr Addict ~ Silva Hound More Than Anything Reprise ~ Hazbin Hotel Stayed Gone ~ Hazbin Hotel Stolas Sings ~ Helluva Boss When I See Him ~ Helluva Boss Crashin A Mothafuckin Wedding ~ Helluva Boss All 2 U ~ Helluva Boss Just Look My Way ~ Paranoid DJ 10 Things I Hate About You ~ Leah Kate Trust Me Not ~ Natalie Chavez Drift Away ~ Steven Universe I Am Octavia ~ TehJaden Strangers ~ Scratch21 Monster ~ TheLostNarrator Jenny ~ Studio Killers On My Own ~ Les Miserables Boyfriend ~ Dove Cameron From The Start ~ Laufey Somethin' Stupid ~ Frank Sinatra Your Stupid Face ~ Kaden MacKay Red Flags ~ Tom Cardy Don't Mine At Night ~ The version with Button Mash Better Than You ~ Camp Camp Anything You Can Do ~ Betty Hutton Deadpool & Wolverine Partners In Crime ~ Set It Off The Zombie Song ~ Stephanie Mabey Zombie Girl ~ Macabre Rotting Girl The Masochism Tango ~ Tom Lehrer Horny Angry Tango ~ Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast An Unhealthy Obsession ~ Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra Smoke and Mirrors ~ Jayn Dark Horse ~ Katy Perry Monster ~ Kira Rule #34 ~ Fish In A Birdcage Notice Me Senpai ~ iHasCupquake Pretty Little Psycho ~ Porcelain Black Super Psycho Love ~ Simon Curtis Kill For Your Love ~ Megan McDuffee The Red Means I Love You ~ Madds Buckley Even Though I Loved You ~ Maretu I'm So Obsessed With You ~ Rebzyxx Never Getting Rid Of Me ~ Waitress Meant To Be Yours ~ Heathers Hello Hello ~ Lady Gaga Hide Away ~ You know the one Take A Hint ~ Victorious Cast No ~ Meghan Trainor I Got A Feeling ~ Strange Magic Tell Him ~ Strange Magic The Other Side ~ The Greatest Showman Rewrite The Stars ~ The Greatest Showman I Love You Like An Alcoholic ~ The Taxpayers Mother Knows Best Reprise (Valentino singing it to Vox about Alastor, that's the context)

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss: Vivziepop I might edit this list from time to time, sorry if I got any sources wrong.

[beautifultypewriter]

Boyfriend Material ~ Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin

Requested: No

Warnings: Jerk guy who passively insults reader, bad dates, mentions of sex, nakedness, fwb relationship, language

Word Count: 1,915

Pairing: Jake Seresin x fem!reader

Summary: Reader has a fun game she plays when she ends up on a bad first date. Her friend with benefits, Hangman, is the key piece in the game, but he may take things too far one night.

A/N: I told y’all that I was obsessed with Hangman. This idea hit me like a freight train when I was scrolling TikTok and saw a video of a girl doing a skit about going on a date with a red flag and I had the brilliant idea of doing this to an ass who mistreats you on a date. And Hangman was perfect for it.

First dates could go one of two ways; they could be awkward, filled with long silences and minimal eye contact or they could be downright terrible, filled with bad conversations and rude guys. Though you supposed they could go another way. Really great with both parties clicking and no uncomfortable moments. It had been a long time since you had one of those and it was starting to feel like you were destined to never have one again with the guys you were picking.

  The one currently sat across from you was definitely one of the ‘not getting a second date’ type. Not that he seemed to realize it as he continued to talk about himself, barely pausing to take a breath. You pursed your lips as he smirked at you. Something stupid is about to come out of his mouth.

  “You know, I was a little apprehensive about tonight because I usually go for the model types,” you breathed out slowly and he was quick to hold his hands up, “but you’re attractive too.” He winked at you, and it took everything in you not to roll your eyes at him. Though you were sure he wouldn’t have noticed if you had because now he was talking about his ex-girlfriend. You reached for your glass of water, completely ignoring the glass of red wine that he had ordered for you. You don’t drink red wine. He chuckled, “Yeah, she was totally crazy. Dodged that bullet.” He pulled his phone out, firing off some text messages as he ignored you. Plates of food were set in front of the pair of you and not even that pulled his eyes away from the screen of his phone. You scoffed, pulling your own phone out and clicking on the top conversation thread in your messages. Your text was simple, a time, the name of the restaurant that you were at, and a black heart emoji. The reply was instant, a thumbs up. You smirked to yourself, picking up your fork and digging into the meal in front of you. At least the steak was good. Your date chose that moment to pick up his fork and launch into another one of his work stories. Forcing a smile at him, you nodded along, wondering what kind of seasoning they put on your mashed potatoes.

  The waiter had asked if you cared for dessert and your date had answered that you didn’t need any and he asked for the check. After he had paid, he led you out of the restaurant, stopping and turning to face you on the sidewalk. He smiled as he leaned closer, an attempt to charm you, you supposed, “You want to head back to my place? I’ve got a nice bottle of wine. We could talk some more.” As his hand reached out to stroke your arm, you grit your teeth, preparing your reply.

  It never came though as an arm wrapped around your shoulders and a low voice spoke near your ear, “Hey, babe.”

  Your eyes lit up as you turned to grin at the newcomer, “Jake.” He grinned back at you, his lips pressing against your cheek quickly. Your date looked between the two of you, his eyes moving faster than you thought possible. His chest puffed out and he stepped forward, his hand pushing his hair back. You looked over at him, your smile turning sickly sweet, “Oh, it was really nice meeting you, Tim, but I don’t think this is going to work out.” Your eyes met Jake’s again and you could see him barely able to contain his laughter.

  The man’s shoulders sagged, as his arm dropped to his side and he recoiled, “It’s Jim.”

  You half turned back to your date, “Right. Thanks for the dinner.” Jake spun you around and the two of you started walking down the sidewalk, away from the restaurant and the bad date.

  Jake pulled you closer, “Your place or mine?” He quickly glanced back to see Jim still standing in the same spot, watching the two of you walk away, frown on his face. Jake chuckled. He couldn’t deny that he loved when you sent those black heart texts. Poor bastards had no idea on what they were missing out on. He didn’t think about it too much though because he was glad to be the guy picking you up from your failed dates.

  Tapping your finger against your chin, you pretended to think about it, “Mine’s closer.” Jake nodded and the two of you continued down the sidewalk, the same small talk that you two always engaged in flowing between you two easily. The two of you fell into the same pattern with no difficulty at all. The game was easy because it didn’t require anything deeper than the friendship the two of you shared and your friendship was easy. It had been from the moment the two of you first met.

  The pair of you continued down the sidewalk, turning onto your street. Your footsteps got quicker without your notice, and you were at your building in no time. Jake released your shoulders as you grabbed your keys from your bag and unlocked the front door. Stepping into the lobby, Jake followed, his arm going around your shoulders once more as you waited for the elevator. The doors opened and he gently guided you in, pressing the button for your floor without looking. His attention was solely on you as you leaned against the back wall, one hand resting on the railing there. Jake smirked as he moved gracefully into your space, his hand resting next to your head and his face moving close to yours. With a smirk, you moved your free hand to rest on his shoulder as his body pressed close to yours, heat radiating between the two of you. Just as his lips were about to touch yours, a loud cough caused the two of you to pull apart. Jake took a step back and spun around to see your neighbor stepping slowly into the elevator. He smiled as he leaned against the wall next to you, his arm brushing against yours. You smiled at the woman, “Mrs. Freeman.” She hummed as she nodded to you, her eyes flickering between you and Jake, a smirk growing on her wrinkled face. The elevator ride was quiet as you watched the numbers going up, trying to ignore Jake’s eyes on you. When your floor dinged, you waved quickly to Mrs. Freeman before you grabbed Jake’s hand and pulled him down the hall to your apartment, your keys in your free hand.

  As soon as the door to your apartment was opened, Jake’s lips were on yours. He gently pushed you in to your home, kicking the door shut behind him. His lips never left yours as the two of you took the familiar path to your bedroom, your clothes mixing with his in piles on the wooden floors.

  Pulling the sheet up over your chest, you turned your head to smile at Jake. He was on his back, looking up at the ceiling with a small smile on his face. When he felt your gaze, he turned to look at you, his smile growing. You giggled as you leaned closer to him, “Tonight might not have started out so great, but it definitely ended very nicely.” He pecked your lips before you pulled away, sitting up and reaching your arms above your head. Jake watched the muscles in your back stretch, and he reached over to rub gentle circles on your exposed skin. You sighed, leaning back into his touch, and readjusting the sheet. He watched your muscles relax as he continued his ministrations, and another sigh passed your lips.

  “How about you let me take you out?” He wasn’t sure where the words had come from, but they were in the air now and he found that he didn’t mind it, even as the silence stretched.

  Your head turned to the side, so that you could see him from the corner of your eye, “On a date?” He nodded and you laughed, “A real date?”

  He nodded again, his voice even, “Yeah.”

  You turned at the waist, your eyebrows raised, “Why?” He was still laying there, wholly unbothered, one hand behind his head as he looked up at you like he didn’t completely change the entire game. The entire friendship.

  With one half-hearted shrug, he glanced to the ceiling, “To have a nice time. To go on more dates.” He turned his gaze to you again, giving you a quick wink, “Hell, maybe I’ll even become your boyfriend.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you as he grinned.

  It felt like the temperature of the room had gone up 20 degrees and you wondered if fanning yourself would have been odd. Instead you scoffed, turning back around to face the window, “You don’t wanna date me.” You swallowed hard, hoping he couldn’t see what was going on in your head.

It was his turn to scoff as his hand dropped away from your back. Had he been drawing the circles this entire time? You pressed a hand to your forehead as he answered you, “What do you mean I don’t want to date you? I just asked, didn’t I?” It couldn’t be controlled, a laugh forced its way out of your mouth, hanging in the air for a moment.

  Regaining your train of thought, you shook your head, “No because if you dated me and became my boyfriend then you’d have to do boyfriend things.” You turned back to him, fixing him with a pointed stare, your head tilted slightly as you watched the gears turn in his head.

  “Like what?”

  “Like,” you looked up to the ceiling, several thoughts swirling through your head until you landed on one, “going to work parties with me.” You nodded as he grinned at you, “You’d have to send me good morning texts and go to brunch with my sister and her husband. You would have to buy me flowers and listen to me rant about my bad days at work. Have dinner with my parents. Those are boyfriend things.” Jake’s eyebrows furrowed as you leaned closer, your voice dropping to a whisper and your eyes narrowing, “You hate boyfriend things.” You had him. You knew you did.

  He stared up at you, his mouth set in a straight line and his voice low, “Not if they’re for you.”

  Pulling back from him, you moved closer to the edge of the bed, “Jake…”

  As he noticed your retreat, he shot up, the sheet bunching at his waist, “No, just hear me out. Please.” You sighed, but nodded to him. He held his hands out, moving them slightly as he spoke, “One date. One real date, that’s all I ask.” Pursing your lips, you stared at him, mulling over his request. He smiled as he saw the lines forming on your forehead, “And if I’m not boyfriend material then we forget this whole thing ever happened.”

  Pursing your lips, you nodded, “Okay.” He grinned as he reached forward, his hand resting gently on your neck. He pressed a kiss to your lips, and you quickly pulled back, your hand resting on his chest, “One date.” He nodded before pulling you into another kiss, leaning back and bringing you to the mattress with him. You giggled as he peppered your face with kisses.

[mia-does-nonsense]

Walkis headcanons b/c my brain won't shut up:

At first glance, their fancy uniforms are simultaneously cool and stupid. Like, those guys are probably dying during the summer (except for Kenny).

But from the brief shot we got in the manga of their school, I think Walkis is situated in a gloomy, cold-ass mountain area, and a good distance away from civilization like any emo school. Cloudy all the damn time and probably rains a lot too. The uniforms would at least have some practical use to keep the students from getting chilly.

Most, if not all, of the Walkis student body and faculty come from nobility and wealth, so it's kind of impossible to not have a reputation while attending. Like, "That's so-and-so from x family who does y at the Bureau of Magic" and whatnot, which will either make somone's life at Walkis a lot smoother or a lot harder.

The rigorous academics and competitiveness between dorms, years, individual students, new money vs old money, etc makes the shit that goes down at Easton look tame. Students like Finn and Lemon - who are average in academics and/or who come from lower/middle class families - will absolutely not survive there in the metaphorical sense...

...and likely also in the literal sense. Walkis is dangerous. When your parents are politicians, nobles, and just powerful people in general, school rules and even the law itself are merely suggestions. At Easton, the Magia Lupus kidnapped students, nearly stole Lemon's magic permanently, and didn't care about heavily injuring people, and then there's Carpaccio who was stabbing people left and right at the DV exam. Now multiply that by 10, and you'll have an idea what Walkis is like.

A good portion of the students are double-liners, and it's not uncommon to resort to underhanded tactics to get by, not to mention classes are highly advanced and deal with dangerous magic spells, potions, creatures, and such. If you're strong and influential enough to get away with it, you will almost certainly get away with it. If you don't, it's probably only because there was someone stronger than you to put you in your place.

Power is everything in Walkis, after all. And it got worse once Levis and Domina enrolled...

Of course, faculty tries their damn best to keep some semblance of order in the school, because 1. Walkis needs to maintain its prestigious reputation, and 2. These are the kids of the most important people in the magic realm, it would be very bad if something happened to them.

Then again, we know most noble families are shit when it comes to their children (Ex: the Crowns, Madls, Razors, and Rosequartzs) so I wouldn't be surprised if many parents don't care that much if their kid gets sent to the hospital or even straight-up dies. They probably just glanced at the school waiver when enrolling their kids about potential injury and death and were like, "If something happens to them, that's because they're weak blah blah blah" and signed it without a second thought.

The manga says that the majority of the Divine Visionaries in all of history came from Walkis - a whopping 85 compared to Easton's 11 and St. Ars' 4, if I remember correctly. It would be a stretch to assume that not all DVs in the magic realm's history were benevolent. Matter of fact, the current DV lineup was probably the best since Wahlberg and Adam Jobs' time, in terms of not just power but ethics and morality.

I mean, obviously there was still the whole situation with Mash (looking at especially you, Orter), but it would be interesting if some previous DVs throughout history were very self-serving and corrupt, because the ratio of candidates from Walkis and the other schools is crazy and *gestures vaguely at Walkis' aforementioned values regarding power and magic ability, leading to class differences, nepotism, etc, etc.* This was also why Adam Jobs' legacy became so warped after his death, with his beliefs regarding noblesse oblige being largely forgotten or misinterpreted.

[fleeglefazbeagle]

Hey, quick question...

What Pokémon type would he have?

(It can be a duel-type if you want.)

Yes, I'm including his fat form from the OG video and a frame from @zeurelart 's gif that he made as a commission because those two still count.

Not only types, also what KIND of Pokémon would he be?

Will he be a regular Pokémon, a legendary, a mythical or an Ultra Beast?

Let's not forget what abilities would he have.

(Bonus points if you come up with names, a Pokédex entry or entries, moveset or perhaps a design.)

I wanna see what you come up with.

(Not forcing you to do it, obviously.)

Be sure to tag me if you make a post about it.

[kimpossibly]

𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐃 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐄 𝐒/𝐎

REQUEST: Hi! I really love your works, if its alright with you, can I please request Enid Sinclair with a human/normie s/o who she loves very much but her s/o is being stalked by their crazy ex-girlfriend who wants them back and also happens to be a werewolf. — anon

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hiiiiii!! Thank you so so much for the ask, this is adorable! I didn't know if you wanted a fic or headcanons, so I kind of mashed them up and did both!! I hope you enjoy this and let me know if you'd like it in a different format! NOTE: E/n = ex's name

PAIRING: enid sinclair x gn!reader WARNINGS: crazy ex-girlfriends, fighting, stalking

Needless to say, it's a pretty big deal when someone at Nevermore gets involved with a Normie.

Some might even say it's taboo, but everyone knows that the Normie gets the short end of the stick nine times out of ten.

So when another werewolf and you start dating, our lovely Queen of Gossip Enid knows from the very beginning

She's super into the relationship despite never having met you — she'll always ask for updates or to see photos of the two of you

But she can't deny the blushy, crushy feeling she gets whenever she sees you

Of course, she covers it up with things like "Oh my God, they're gorgeous!" or "You guys look so cute together!", but it doesn't do much to stave off the way her heart speeds up every time she sees you in photos

Enid figures out pretty quickly that she possibly maybe sort of has the sliiiiiightest crush on you. But you were dating her friend, and that meant you were off-limits.

So Enid did what she could to stave off all those giggly, fuzzy feelings she gets whenever she thinks about you

It didn't really work that well but whatever

Enid was so busy trying to stamp down her feelings that she completely missed your relationship turning sour

That's why it came as such a surprise to her when you broke up with her friend out of the blue

Enid put everything she had into being there for her friend — giving her tissues when she cried, planning fun movie nights to take her mind off of you

And all good feelings she had towards you dissolved the moment you made her friend cry

So when she saw you at the Weathervane one day while she was out in Jericho, she was ready to give you a piece of her mind

As she walked towards you, she wrote an entire monologue in her head, ready to spit fire, but then she heard a sob.

Enid's prepared speech melted away the moment she heard a stifled sniff. Even though she could only see the back of you head, she could tell that your body was wracked with sobs. She blanched. She couldn't yell at someone who was already crying! The vision of E/n crying tried to push its way to the forefront of her mind, screaming "Hey, I'm here! Remember me?" But you were right there. So close and so broken. In that moment she resolved to swallow any venom she was prepared to spit at you. After taking a deep breath, she stepped up until she was beside you in the booth.

"Y/n?" she said, trying to keep her voice calm and gentle.

You looked up, your face red and puffy, confusion taking the place of sadness for a moment. "Sorry, do I know you?" you asked. Enid was taken aback by how polite you sounded. From the way E/n had told it, she expected you to sound much more harsh.

"I'm Enid Sinclair. I'm friends with E/n." she introduced.

That only seemed to make you feel worse. "Oh," was all you said, eyes shifting away from her and into space.

Enid hurried to lighten things up. "Can I sit?"

You said nothing but nodded, prompting her to slide into the booth across from you. She tapped her nails on the table a couple times, trying to figure out just where to go from here. "I go to Nevermore, by the way." was all she came up with.

"I know," you replied. "You followed me on Instagram a few weeks ago."

"Oh, yeah! I saw your post from the bowling alley a couple weeks ago, I really liked how you did your hair—"

"I'm sorry, Enid, I'm just a little confused." you gently interrupted her. "Why are you sitting with me? I should think that you'd be angry with me for breaking up with your friend."

Enid paused. She chose her next words carefully, not wanting to scare you away with the truth. "I was. But then I heard you crying and I figured you didn't need a virtual stranger getting mad at you. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Now that you weren't expecting. More tears rushed to your eyes as she spoke. "You...just want to know if I'm okay?" you asked, relieved.

And Enid just nodded. So you told her everything.

For the first time, Enid gets the whole story of your relationship, start to finish. From the time you met at a party in Jericho to the night you broke up, she hears about every date, every fight, every detail you had to offer.

And it's way different than what she had heard from E/n.

While E/n claimed that you had broken up with them out of the blue, you told her that you had broken up because she had been showing up at your house, at your school, at your work out of the blue with no warning.

She even began to show up at places you hadn't told her you were going to be, like the time you decided to head to the Weathervane for a quick coffee and found that E/n had showed up just moments before you, hoping to catch up.

Eventually it started to creep you out a little too much and you decided to break things off

Things started to make sense for Enid, and the picture became a little clearer.

And after you told the whole story, Enid sensed that you needed a quick pick-me-up, so she invited you shopping with her

And shopping with Enid is...an experience

She turns into a personal stylist for you, pulling out thing after thing that she thinks you would look good in — and she always has a reason

"Ooooh, look at this! Emerald green would bring out your eyes."

"This shade of blue will compliment your skin tone so well, just trust me."

She gets you giggling and smiling and it makes her feel like she's on top of the world

You make plans that day to do this again, much to Enid's excitement

You exchange numbers and head your opposite ways

Enid goes back to Nevermore feeling like she's on Cloud 9...at least until she runs into your ex.

"Where have you been?"

Enid freezes when a voice speaks from behind her. Oh no. She turns slowly on her heel, giving E/n an overzealous smile. "Oh, hey, E/n! I was, um, just out at the Weathervane for a coffee. I would've brought you something back, but I didn't know what you liked."

E/n seems to take the lie as she shrugs. "Oh, fun. Hey, you still down for dinner in the courtyard?"

An invisible tension releases from Enid's shoulders. "Yeah, definitely." she says, giving E/n a smile.

She smiles back. "Cool. See ya later!"

E/n walks away as Enid mumbles a freaked-out "See ya," before turning and racing back to her dorm.

It's then that she decides to keep your meetings a secret.

She doesn't want to hurt E/n's feelings, and she definitely doesn't want to make things worse for you, so the only reasonable option was to lie, right?

RIGHT?????????

This is the kind of stuff that eats Enid up — the moral gray area of Is this right or is it wrong?

It's the kind of stuff that leaves her lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out what to do next.

And every time she draws a blank

This whole thing haunts her right up until the day you agreed to meet up again.

You find her in a booth at the Weathervane that Saturday — she already ordered your drink, which she remember from looking at the cup you had the day you met (that's the kind of stuff that she remembers and never forgets)

This time you show her all your favorite things in Jericho — your favorite park, your house, your favorite landmarks

And when it's over and she needs to get back to Nevermore, you make plans to hang out again

Then that hang out comes and passes, and you decide to hang out again. And again. And again.

And suddenly Enid starts to wonder if this is more than just "hanging out."

"Hey, Y/n? Can I ask you a question?" she says out of the blue one day while you're walking around a park.

"Shoot."

"Say there are two friends, and they hang out all the time. I mean, all the time. And one of them kinda likes the other, but they don't know if the other likes them back, but they don't know how to ask...what should they do?" Enid says, her chest seizing with panic.

You pause, brows knit. "Hm." you say, frowning at nothing. "I dunno. Tell them, I guess. I think being straightforward is the best thing you can do in that situation."

Enid nods and you two continue to walk in silence. After a moment, you go to speak, "Hey, did I ever show you—"

"I like you!" Enid blurts out, cutting you off. You stop, but she keeps going. "I was talking about me when I asked that question. I really like you, Y/n, and sometimes I think you might like me too, but I never really know these things for sure, so I just sit and think about it a lot but then I wonder if I'm reading too much into things that that's never good, but then you said to be straightforward about it and—"

"Enid!" you shout, trying to make sure she can take a breath. She stops, looking back at you with terrified eyes. And, to her surprise, you smile. "I like you too."

She falters. "Y-You do?" she stutters in disbelief.

"I do," you confirm.

She doesn't know what to say. She didn't plan this far. "Okay!" she says. "Okay! So. Um. How do we—do you want to—or like, we don't have to, but—"

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" you ask.

And she just smiles. "Yes, I would. When?"

"Hm, how about..." you trail off, looking around. "Now?"

"Now?"

"Mhm."

Enid looks back at you in shock. "So this...this is a date now?"

"Only if you want it to be." you laugh.

She smiles even wider. "Yeah. Yes. I want it to be."

"Well then, come on," you say, beckoning her to keep walking with you. "I think there's a creek in the woods I forgot to show ya."

And, beaming like the sun, Enid follows.

Enid is just about the most thoughtful girlfriend ever

She remembers your birthday, your mom's birthday, your sibling's birthday, your pet's birthday, your anniversary, and any special date you mention. Ever.

She'll show up to a date with flowers and a little gift for some occasion you hadn't even known was happening.

"Happy two and a half week anniversary!" "Oh! I didn't know we were celebrating." "That's okay! I just like visiting the flower shop down the street."

She's also suuuuuper cuddly and will hold onto you wherever you go

She knits you gloves and sweaters and scarves and snoods and anything you request

And while she can't invite you to any dance seeing as you're keeping your relationship a secret from E/n, she'll host makeshift dances in which she'll force you out of your room for a couple minutes while she decorates it with streamers and a disco ball and hauls in a speaker

Then, she'll pull you onto the 'dance floor' (your bedroom floor) and dance with you until you're both on the verge of collapse

For a couple months, everything is perfect. You're perfect, and Enid spends almost every second in awe of you.

But, of course, the past always comes back to haunt us

Enid notices one day that you've been growing slightly distant. You would space out in conversation and never respond with more than a couple words. She would've been hurt if she hadn't been worried about you.

She never pried other than the occasional "You sure you're okay?", which you'd brush off anyway.

But everything comes to a head the night you have a panic attack while you're hanging out with Enid in your room and she pulls you into her arms as you sob. At that point, you couldn't hide what was going on.

"Enid, I...I don't feel safe anymore." you told her one night. E/n was showing up everywhere you went, even more now than she had before. She would ambush you on your way to school, begging you to take her back despite your intentions otherwise. She seemed to always be one step ahead, and you were beginning to panic.

And as Enid sat there, holding you tightly and running gentle fingers through your hair, she made up her mind: "I'm going to make this stop."

You looked up at her, eyes wide. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet, but I can promise you that E/n is never going to bother you again."

"Enid, stop." you say, pulling way and sitting up. "You don't have to get in the middle of this. I never wanted you to get involved and I don't want you to get hurt because of me." you say as more tears begin to stream down your face.

"Hey, look at me," Enid says, taking your face gently in her hands. "I just want you to feel safe. I'm not going to do anything bad, I'm just going to talk to her and try to figure things out, but I won't bring you into it. I promise. I'm going to fix this, okay?"

And, reluctantly, you nod. Enid smiles, kissing the top of your head and pulling you in for a long hug. As she held you, she used her finger to lightly trace something on your back: I LOVE YOU. She did that quite a lot, mostly because she was afraid to say it aloud. But it was true, she loved you. And she'd go to war for you if that was what it took.

You'll never forget the day Enid walked up to you at your usual booth at the Weathervane with a smile on her face as she sat opposite you

"E/n won't be bothering you any more." she said simply, taking a sip of the coffee you had ordered her.

You just frowned in confusion. "Enid, what did you do?"

"Don't worry about it." she said nonchalantly.

After a few more attempts to get her to spill what she had done, you realized she wasn't going to give up. So you settled on a smile as you watched Enid innocently sip her coffee.

"Hey, Enid?" you said, smiling at her. "I love you, too."

And right then, all Enid knew how to do was smile.

[fast-moon]

DS9 Season 5 Thoughts

So, last season ended on... pretty much the same note season 3 ended on, which was that the Changelings had infiltrated positions of power across the galaxy. Let's see if this season they actually do anything about that.

1. Apocalypse Rising: Sisko, O'Brien, and Odo get to cosplay Klingons as they infiltrate the Empire in order to expose Gowron as a Changeling. But it turns out they had the right place, wrong guy.

2. The Ship: Sisko finds a downed Jem'Hadar ship and says "finders keepers", but a Vorta shows up and asks for it back. It takes half the crews of both sides dying before they realize that the Vorta just wanted to retrieve a sick Changeling from the ship, making the entire stand-off pointless.

3. Looking for par'Mach in All the Wrong Places: WTF is this title and WTF did I just watch? Worf wants to make the moves on Quark's Klingon ex-wife, so Dax sexually assaults him to take his mind off it. Meanwhile, O'Brien has to keep removing himself from situations where he could cheat on Keiko with Kira because he totally would if he could.

4. Nor the Battle to the Strong: Good lord, this series was even prescient about putting yourself in dangerous situations for social media clout and then quickly getting in way over your head. At least Jake was able to admit he was a dumbass.

5. The Assignment: Keiko trolls the shit out of O'Brien by pretending to be possessed by a wraith in order to finally get some goddamn respect. That's my interpretation of this episode and I'm sticking with it.

6. Trials and Tribble-ations: lol. To be fair, I did see this specific episode back in the 90's because a friend of mine taped it and insisted I see it, but at least now I have context for who all the DS9 characters are, and it made it even funnier.

7. Let He Who is Without Sin: Dax drags Worf to Pornworld against his will, then calls him "controlling" when she does her own thing without any regard for his feelings. Then she acts all surprised when he sides with the people protesting irresponsible self-indulgence.

8. Things Past: Odo, Sisko, Dax, and Garak get Quantum Leaped into some Bajoran slaves in the past, but it turns out Odo was just having an anxiety attack over a mistake he'd made and dragged everyone else into it.

9. The Ascent: Odo and Quark get jealous of Kira and Dukat having gotten two "mortal enemies go road-tripping" episodes, decide to go on one themselves. Meanwhile, Jake and Nog become roommates, but now ironically it's Jake who's the undisciplined one while Nog is more responsible.

10. Rapture: Everyone gets new uniforms, causing Sisko to see obelisks, make maps out of his mashed potatoes, and go on crazy rants that are enough to deny Bajor entry into the Federation, eventually forcing Bashir to lobotomize him.

11. The Darkness and the Light: Someone who wasn't even part of the Cardassian military manages to covertly murder most of Kira's former resistance members, putting the competence of the actual Cardassian military to shame.

12. The Begotten: Odo's a dad... again, and has to lose the child... again. But at least he got his shapeshifting back from it.

13. For the Uniform: The Maquis start using chemical warfare against Cardassian settlements, so Sisko uses chemical warfare right back at them. And everyone's just... okay with this?

14. In Purgatory's Shadow: The episode opens teasing a Garak/Bashir road-trip, only to bait-and-switch it to a Garak/Worf road trip, only to Uno-reverse-card it back to Garak/Bashir. Also, if Bashir's been replaced by a Changeling since before the uniform switch in episode 10, then which one got frisky on Risa?

15. By Inferno's Light: Dukat gets tired of being the butt-monkey for the past couple seasons and joins the Dominion. Meanwhile, Worf spends the entire episode getting beaten up, as Worf does.

16. Doctor Bashir, I Presume?: One episode after getting the real Bashir back, the Doctor from Voyager shows up to offer to make a new fake Bashir, but then Bashir's parents show up to reveal the real Bashir has been a fake Bashir all along, so they're already all good.

17. A Simple Investigation: Odo gets his cherry popped by a woman who turns out to be a bit of a Changeling herself: in that she's actually a completely different person living under an assumed identity, and also already married.

18. Business as Usual: Quark gets roped in with some weapons dealers and sabotages the deal after learning the weapons would be used for genocide, deciding that financial bankruptcy was better than moral bankruptcy.

19. Ties of Blood and Water: Kira decides to copy Garak from a couple episodes ago and has her Cardassian father figure show up just so he can die in front of her of medical complications.

20. Ferengi Love Songs: Quark goes back to his mother's house to help other Ferengi come out of the closet.

21. Soldiers of the Empire: Worf takes an assignment on a ship with the worst Klingons in the galaxy, and Dax invites herself along because she can't imagine Worf being able to function without her telling him what to do all the time.

22. Children of Time: The crew find a planet inhabited by their descendants, who inform them they they're going to get sent back in time and then have nothing better to do but breed like rabbits. But Future Odo realizes they've already hit their time-travel quota for the season and stops it from happening.

23. Blaze of Glory: Sisko and Eddington go road-tripping to stop some missiles that don't exist, because it was all a ruse to allow Eddington to go down fighting for... basically no reason.

24. Empok Nor: O'Brien and Garak take some gold-shirts with them to go exploring a seemingly abandoned Cardassian station, with predictable results for the gold-shirts. Garak also realizes there hasn't been an outbreak of crazypox for a few seasons and wants to have his go at it.

25. In the Cards: Jake really, really wants a Pokemon card.

26. Call to Arms: The Federation is forced to abandon the station after the Dominion and Cardassians attack, but Sisko swears he'll be back because they're not about to change the title of the series to "Terok Nor".

So, now that we've left on a cliffhanger of the station being abandoned to the Dominion, I'm curious how long into the next season that status is going to remain. Even Picard getting kidnapped by the Borg only lasted until the first episode of the next season. Plus things are going to get pretty cramped if they have too many episodes with only the Defiant set to work with.

Bashir is finally growing on me now that he's abandoned his bravado and womanizing and focusing on being a doctor. He was single-handedly ruining the series for me in the first season due to being such an insufferable creep. But it's also been revealed that he's genetically enhanced, so he's still kind of annoyingly The Special in some way, but at least he doesn't rub it in people's faces.

Dax is also starting to finally develop a personality of her own, which is conceptually a plus, it's just that her newly-developed personality is really annoying. She's basically just a troll and a gossip and doesn't seem to care about how she makes other people feel. She forced herself on Worf, then he entered into a relationship with her out of what seemed like obligation, at which point she's just been incredibly controlling and manipulative of him. Which, maybe that's a Klingon thing and they go for that, but from a human perspective, it's uncomfortable.

Also, I recently learned that Nog's actor was nearly 30 while playing him here. All this time I thought he was, like, 12, but no, he is just the ultimate short king.

Also impressed at Kira's actress being able to fit back into that jumpsuit so soon after having a baby. Hopefully she'll get more episodes next season, since her pregnancy this season limited what the story could do with her.

So with that, onto the next season of Terok Nor Deep Space Nine.

[cupcraft]

Simple Cooking Tips by me trying my best:

1: Canned foods are fine. Canned foods are often affordable, very shelf stable, and versatile. Canned veggies taste great when seasoned and cooked. Canned meat is fine too. Enjoy eating your canned food little life!

2: Instant mashed potatoes are a great way to make a quick an easy side. You can always add extra seasoning/butter/creamcheese/sourcream/milk/broth/etc. if you need. The same goes for other instant foods they are very versatile. Instant foods can often be shelf stable, cheap, and also good if you dont have a lot of time to cook.

3: I made too much food or bought too much food or produce uh oh. Freeze/freeze/freeze (just make sure you keep track of dates and stuff/know that some foods texture will change when frozen). There are often plenty of tips and tricks to freezing things well when they have texture changes. Food never has to go to waste! And on days where its hard for me to function having a frozen meal ready to heat up is the best. Also, for excess produce especially see if your town has any local fridges/places to donate fresh produce for someone to take!

4: If the only way youre going to eat is ordering out then do it if you can afford it. Dont feel bad for ordering out. This is your sign that if you need to order out then do it, you dont need an excuse. Youre allowed to want or need ordering out.

5: Meal prepping is supposed to help you not exhaust you. I struggle to eat breakfast for example so its really helpful for me to make things that are quick while im already cooking dinner so that in the morning i have less effort to expend. I make things like yoghurt parfaits/chia seed pudding, over night oats, coldbrew coffee, boiled eggs, etc! Dont feel pressured to meal prep if it is more stressful for you. Its supposed to help you!

6: Setting alarms to eat is soo soo helpful if you struggle to remember or struggle to read your body's needs. I struggle with this myself, so I set alarms for lunch and dinner (as i usually eat breakfast at work). You dont need to be strict with yourself/regimented on the times but it just helps me remember to eat or to prepare food to eat later.

7: Once a pan/pot/cooking equipment cools soak it/rinse it off as soon as you can. It will make cleaning it a lot easier when there's less caked up on it. And if your someone like me who struggles with wet food textures while cleaning this can help a lot too.

8: Don't feel bad for not eating leftovers/finishing a plate/having to throw stuff out. It's okay and not a moral failing. You are not wasting food.

9: Instant ramen is amazing and you can add so much to it in order to make it a really filling meal. You can add veggies (i like to add spinach/kale and mushrooms), you can add more protein (eggs, spam/shrimp/other meats, tofu, etc.). Go crazy with it!

10: I plan my meals out for every day of the week. This helps me stay organized. You don't have to do this, but if youre like me and knowing what your going to eat everyday helps you focus/cook/not stress then do it!

11: If you have a roommate/someone you live with you can find ways to share certain costs/foods. For ex me and my roommate share things and the cost of things that are used so much like: onions, garlic, spices/salt/pepper, tea, etc.

12: You dont have to chop things if you dont want to. You dont have to mortar and pestle things if you dont want to. Use items that make things easier for you! If you need a food processor, if you need a garlic mincer, if you need a potato ricer, do it! Buy precut beef for stew, buy precut chicken tenders, etc! You dont have to chop a single thing! Make things more accessible and easier! And if you like to spend time chopping and mastering knife skills then do that too!

this is all i have for now but please add on if youd like :)!