#(maybe a little plural)
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Siffrin+Loop system backstory/timeline for my modern AUs!
Age 4 - ▮ is in a major car crash with their family. Their eye is injured, and their parents and sibling die. They split; ▮ has most of the memories, and is inconsolable when they front. ▯ only vaguely remembers events from before the crash without much emotional attachment, and explains that ▮ died along with their family, and being a ghost hurts. They're adopted by their grandmother.
▮ fronts and has a meltdown whenever they hear their name, hear anything about their family, or are forced to drive in a car. Their grandmother gets their legal name changed (to something she knows was on their parents' potential-baby-names list) and moves to a city with great public transit. After going a while without encountering their triggers, ▮ fades out. ▯ mostly fronts at home and a different alter mostly fronts at school.
Age 11 - Their grandmother dies and they enter foster care. ▯ misses their grandma and has trouble adjusting, so they go dormant. The composition of the system changes to adapt to changing circumstances as they're moved between foster homes. Mal stays the most consistent through this time period; it doesn't front often, but its memory is the least spotty, so it tries to keep the rest of the system somewhat organized and consistent and careful. It's kinda annoyed by everyone else coming in and out and making a mess, but better them than it.
Age 16 - They get a shitty part time summer job, and Siffrin pops up to front for it. He's very disconnected from the rest of the system; he doesn't remember anything he wasn't fronting for, and he can't access the same headspace everyone else is in. He's good at quietly adapting to whatever situation he finds himself in, at least. Mal is the only one who can pop over to Siffrin's headspace and talk to him, and it pulls Siffrin away from the front for someone else to take over when it's time to go home. The job ends and he sleeps for a while, and then they get another job and he fronts for it again.
Age 18 - They leave the foster care system and move into an apartment with some college students. Without school or a foster home to return to, Siffrin stays at the front unless something triggers someone else out, which happens less often as Siffrin gets better at holding onto the front and avoiding triggers. They spend the next couple years moving between shitty apartments and shitty jobs.
Age 22 - Siffrin becomes almost-sorta-friends with two roommates, and they stick together for the next lease term. He lands a job with slightly better pay than normal and a decent shift lead, but a particularly cruel manager. One of the roommates starts dating someone who's kind of an asshole.
age 23 - The other roommate unexpectedly has to move out of town, leaving the remaining two with higher bills. After a couple months with no luck finding someone new to sublease or at least move in at the next lease term, the roommate's partner moves in. The roommate often gets into fights with their partner, who is turning increasingly abusive, and Siffrin can't do anything to help. Some headmates from the childhood subsystem start fronting more often again, which is stressful to Siffrin since they have no idea what happens during that time, on top of their own increased dissociation. Mal isn't being very talkative, either, and what it does say is pretty harsh.
age 24 - The decent shift lead at work quits and gets replaced by someone worse, but Siffrin can't afford to change jobs and make any less money, since the abusive partner isn't contributing to bills. After a particularly bad incident between the roommates and then a disastrous attempt to convince the nice one to leave, Siffrin splits into Loop and a new version of Siffrin.
Loop keeps the memories of ages 22-24 (and nearly nothing before that), and copes with them by thinking of all people outside of their system as empty things acting out their roles, rather than real people with feelings and the ability to change. Siffrin keeps the memories from before meeting the nice roommate (though they're a bit foggy by now), and his personality resets a bit accordingly to what he was like three years ago. Loop is fairly aware most of the time when Siffrin is fronting and can chat with him, but Siffrin still totally misses anything that happens when he's not at the front. Loop continues fronting at work, and at home when either roommate is home, and just pulls Siffrin to the front when it's safe. The childhood subsystem stops fronting entirely now that someone else is here to deal with everything.
Since Siffrin is now free from the work/home stress, they're able to find and work a second job, and then another which allows Loop to quit the first. Siffrin mostly fronts for these new jobs, but Loop steps in when Siffrin gets too anxious. When the lease at the current place is up, the two jobs together are enough for them to get a shitty studio apartment with no roommates to worry about.
Age 28 - Siffrin and Loop have found a decent balance. Loop's not fond of Mal, but Siffrin chats with it sometimes. Both Siffrin and Loop still refuse to go anywhere in a car; Loop knows it's some sort of major trigger but doesn't know why, while Siffrin just happens to always choose a different option no matter how inconvenient. They've switched jobs a couple times, and none of them are great, but it could be worse. They've stayed at the same studio apartment this whole time, which also isn't great, but it could be worse.
Mal can still choose to hang out in either the Sif+Loop headspace or the childhood subsystem's headspace. At some point, when they're feeling safer, headmates from the childhood subsystem (especially ▯) will start fronting a tiny bit now and then when triggered by reminders of important memories. Loop is just as cut off from them as Siffrin is, and the moments are so tiny that it's hard to differentiate them from just zoning out, but eventually they'll figure out that there must be at least one more headmate they don't know about.
Find more info on the "current" state of the system in my original headcanon post!
#thoughts#thoughts about siffrin#maybe i should make a unique tag for this and the other post..#thoughts about siffrin et al#isat#isat spoilers#café chick#siffrin#loop#the 4 yr old stuff feels maybe a little tropey creepy kid#but i just tried to go off of. what 4 yr olds are like hgfgjg THEYRE ALL WEIRD!!#esp when under stress#like that seems like a very real way for a kid to think about it to me#but i am only a children expert not a plural expert. so lmk if it's bad#or anything else!
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y'all lied to me that "wanna go for the title" scene is SO MUCH GAYER in context
#buck makes eddie's little fight club adventure about him??#while simultaneously what prompts the scene is he feels like shit and is trying to apologize#for not catching that eddie needed fucking ''saving'' by him and he ''wasn't there for chris and him''#brother WHAT#I'm watching out of order hence me only getting to that scene now 'cause i have a few#patches of eps i still need to catch here and there#holy fuck you're right about that one scene but somehow worse than the gifset make it look like#buddie#911#i've said before that buddie got to me because of the structure first and foremost#and less 'cause of the ~intrinsic shippiness~ of some of the fanfave moments maybe#but yeah some of those i DO get why they have a lot of people the way they have them. i do#*gifsets plural not going back to fix that on my phone :'(
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Hey, hey! RnR not requested! (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#DAX#ZEX#Does anyone still use RnR lol#I think I was a little too late for that but in my brief stint on FF.net I did get a couple reviews so *shruggles*#ANYway lol#The topic of VUX poetry came up and it would not leave me alone#But at the same time it is so hard to English-phoneticize VUK ZIX into my preferred poetry method!#So I gave up and went with a playground chant lol#I also wasn't sure which direction it would be read in apart from bottom-up :0#Japanese is top-down right-to-left so maybe it's inverse?? I don't know!#That's what I went with this time anyhow lol#Also making up rules on the spot lol - ''a'' is always contextually inferred by its surroundings#Have I thought about the implications of inferred subject/singular vs. plural phrasing? No! Give me some time tho ♪#Lol#I have also pretty firmly come to the conclusion that -ing sounds just aren't a thing lol#At least not written and not comfortably spoken#You could force the sound but it's exactly what it says on the tin - forced#So the rhyme-scheme is a bit funny haha - that rhyme doesn't translate at all! But it is still fun to write a little ship-poem hehe#ZEX does not approve but it's not his poem is it! Tentacles to yourself! Don't stick your trunk where it's not wanted!#I do love when DAX is silly and lovestruck haha
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p-did culture is being tired of everyone saying p-did is just the icd version of osdd1 :(
-🧼
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#🐕answers#🧼 anon#YESSSSS#OMG LIKE BROOOO#OSDD1 IS IN THE ICD#RAGGHFBDHDHXBDBBDBD#also#the DSM5 is used in America and like maybe one or two other countries#And the ICD is used I A LOOOOOTTTT#Mor places#So honestly it's giving just a little bit of racism ya know?#pdid culture is#pdid community#actually pdid#pdid system#pdid#partial did#partial dissociative identity disorder#partial did system#did system#actually plural#plural#plural community#plural system#plurality
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Just came to the belated and unfortunate (?) realization that Esteban Flores's full name technically means "flower crown" in English.
#love this for him and hate this for him#i mean technically it's 'flowers' plural and 'crown' singular but still#i mean tbf there's probably another word there too but as we don't know his dad's surname; “flower crown” is all we have to go on#i mean i was already planning on doing a flower crown edit for him at some point but like I'm gonna have to now#esteban flores#chancellor esteban#elena of avalor#it's easy to overlook since corona is used for crown more often in spanish#and it requires one to know that esteban is the spanish for stephen and that stephen comes from the greek for "crown'#or more specifically “surrounding the crown”/“holding the crown”#but still#my special little guy#i am kissing him on the forehead upon which i have placed a flower crown#maybe daisies in honor of his dead mom's name? (no that's too mean. he can have orchids instead)
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Davistat's Sleeping Beauty moment doesn't hit as hard as Lesmand's, sorry.
#tvc spoilers#merrick spoilers#interview with the vampire#lesmand chanel davistat walmart iktr#like armand was waxing poetic for full pages plural and everyone gasped because they weren't expecting#yeah david you're nothing bye#maybe if you stop being so disgusting I'll care about you again#let's hope loustat can give me something because louis grew a little on me and this is a very dramatic book for louis#but i also don't know because iwtv loustat >>>>>>>>>>> several ships on the show and books >>>>>>> tvc loustat#sorry they just haven't landed at least not yet and it's hard because show loustat captivated me from the get go#but i really want to love them I'm so open really even praying for it actually#let's see i guess
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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why Vriska here
#olli tag#<- MAYBE?#Every time we interact with stuff related to her she becomes an overwhelming presence#This has been happening since a little bit ater i got into homestuck i think. Idk if irs a plurality thing or a kin thing or whatever#But. Shes here. I guess
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i guess this is what we're doing now
#my fanart#menos grande#skeleton drawing hours#they're shown in the order i drew them#i think no. 3 is the most on-model#but there's just something about no 2#and no 1 is just so SCRUNGLY i couldn't not post them#or maybe they're just 3 separate menos with slightly different facial features!!#i almost forgot about their stupid spike ring#it was so hard to draw!!#perspective my beloathed#i think i might actually like them better without it#that's why no 2 is pictured without#just a little guys!!#(that's not a typo one menos = one guys. 'guys' is both plural and all-gender inclusive in this usage)#if this feels like it has big 'COULD A DEPRESSED PERSON MAKE THIS??' energy it's not exactly wrong but i AM doing much better this week#i almost wish i were still in therapy i would love to show this to my therapist
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After mouthwashing
#host#don't ask who I am <3#and it toootally definitely didn't#if you have medical neglect trauma AND DID maybe mouthwashing isn't the game for you#unless you wanna add a curly to your simply plural /j#so yeah#that happened#it's weird three of our most recent alters all have only one eye and the other was specifically lost#we have no vision/sight trauma that I'm aware of so it's... interesting#this is rebloggable idm#it's just a little funnee hehe hoohoo you know#but yeah we have a curly in our head now#also the only reason I look like a shadow person is because my features are p unique and recognizable and don't wanna doxx myself teehee#art
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i have. so many bath and body works products
#it's kinda ridiculous at this point i think that's the only place i buy soap anymore#i think it's just bc i started getting burnt out over having to scour the shampoo aisle to find the single product my scalp isn't allegic to#it's nice having an option that's consistent but also has some nice variety#we have A LOT of little mini hand sanitizers bc we like having lots of different scents for different headmates#someone in our brain. for possibly the first time Since we found the word headmate. was really insistent on using alter there???#we usually all hate using the word alter on ourselves who is that#headmate helps us feel more separate in identity and more like a community#i think there is a guy in the brain rn who is. super set on going back into the plural closet. and it's been a struggle#idk why bc we made so much progress#i think it's just the. rampant community arguing all the time. makes us want to leave#we did the same thing with our queer identities where we were REALLY out for a few years and then suddenly went back into our shell#bc of constant arguing over my right to just be a fucking queer person without whatever arbitrary shit invalidating me#so we just. Stopped talking abt queer issues for a bit and stepped back a ton on neopronouns#like hey guys. maybe can we stop hurting real people in the community by turning the whole thing into a warzone
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im doing french on duolingo (mostly bc im just bored not out of any passionate desire to learn the language properly) and my dad thought that sounded fun too so he decided to try it out. he came in after one lesson and went "une orange? le homme? that's just VOWELS". pissed off furious
#disclaimer because i know that duolingo is really not the app to go to if you want immersive actual French Lessons but like. idk maybe ill#be able to read a book one day#i told my dad before he started doing it that he'd hate it bc i know him and sure enough. love that weird little guy though#like girl wait til you get to plurals they dont even pronounce the s at the end...... (screaming through clenched teeth)
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got sad abt fawn’s little motel room again 😞
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#we were thinking abt it in canon but then thought abt it in v3/v3au so. now we have to talk abt those#themmy who gets to be the first to get invited over. it takes a bit to build up to it and then even after they all think they’re ready#it takes another few days to actually Work Up To It. themmy gets first pick bc they’re the least intrusive of the group#the ortegas are close to the group ofc but they are nosy and pushy but this is The Becker’s space. so they get told no when they ask#if they can tag along. (they ofc get approval later after a few times of themmy getting to visit#bc 1. they won’t stop asking but 2. they’re more comfortable w the permitted intrusion that they get a test run)#honestly I feel like one of the ortegas would offhandedly ask Whose room it is (bc they expect them each to have their own)#and the siblings are like no it’s Ours. plural. and then the topic gets dropped bc they’re skittish enough already they won’t push more rn#ohhh the besties giving them little house warming gifts to help spruce the place up but next time they go over it still looks just as plain#except u ask ‘hey what happened to [xyz]?’ and they retrieve it from wherever it’s squirreled away#solo!survivor au…. imagine having to go back to the motel room alone for the first time#you know where the traces of your siblings are hidden. but they aren’t in immediate sight so it feels so Empty.#digging out all of their belongings just to have them closer to you even if it goes against everything you’ve all done this whole time#maybe you don’t stay alone. maybe you invite an ortega over. maybe you invite both.#maybe they show up with a bottle of wine each and none of you say anything bc you don’t know what you even would#maybe they help you pack up everything to move apartments. maybe you don’t let them touch anything. maybe them just being there is enough
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Do we have a Little or is it Age Regression: a novel
#plurality#age regression#system little#* kristal / journal#maybe one of us is an age slider or smth idk#* kristal / general
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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A new Ze interview!
youtube
#mostly work related topics#tiny little bit personal stuff at the end#so it looks like they really got a new second dog#because he again talks in plural#of course it could be ze english#i wonder how and when and from where they got a new dog considering their situation??????#maybe they refer to the security dogs that stay with olena and the kids also as their dogs#it was somewhere mentioned that kyrylo plays with them (with one dog? several? not sure how many were mentioned)#Youtube
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