#(maybe a little plural)

[beneathsilverstars]

Siffrin+Loop system backstory/timeline for my modern AUs!

Age 4 - ▮ is in a major car crash with their family. Their eye is injured, and their parents and sibling die. They split; ▮ has most of the memories, and is inconsolable when they front. ▯ only vaguely remembers events from before the crash without much emotional attachment, and explains that ▮ died along with their family, and being a ghost hurts. They're adopted by their grandmother.

▮ fronts and has a meltdown whenever they hear their name, hear anything about their family, or are forced to drive in a car. Their grandmother gets their legal name changed (to something she knows was on their parents' potential-baby-names list) and moves to a city with great public transit. After going a while without encountering their triggers, ▮ fades out. ▯ mostly fronts at home and a different alter mostly fronts at school.

Age 11 - Their grandmother dies and they enter foster care. ▯ misses their grandma and has trouble adjusting, so they go dormant. The composition of the system changes to adapt to changing circumstances as they're moved between foster homes. Mal stays the most consistent through this time period; it doesn't front often, but its memory is the least spotty, so it tries to keep the rest of the system somewhat organized and consistent and careful. It's kinda annoyed by everyone else coming in and out and making a mess, but better them than it.

Age 16 - They get a shitty part time summer job, and Siffrin pops up to front for it. He's very disconnected from the rest of the system; he doesn't remember anything he wasn't fronting for, and he can't access the same headspace everyone else is in. He's good at quietly adapting to whatever situation he finds himself in, at least. Mal is the only one who can pop over to Siffrin's headspace and talk to him, and it pulls Siffrin away from the front for someone else to take over when it's time to go home. The job ends and he sleeps for a while, and then they get another job and he fronts for it again.

Age 18 - They leave the foster care system and move into an apartment with some college students. Without school or a foster home to return to, Siffrin stays at the front unless something triggers someone else out, which happens less often as Siffrin gets better at holding onto the front and avoiding triggers. They spend the next couple years moving between shitty apartments and shitty jobs.

Age 22 - Siffrin becomes almost-sorta-friends with two roommates, and they stick together for the next lease term. He lands a job with slightly better pay than normal and a decent shift lead, but a particularly cruel manager. One of the roommates starts dating someone who's kind of an asshole.

age 23 - The other roommate unexpectedly has to move out of town, leaving the remaining two with higher bills. After a couple months with no luck finding someone new to sublease or at least move in at the next lease term, the roommate's partner moves in. The roommate often gets into fights with their partner, who is turning increasingly abusive, and Siffrin can't do anything to help. Some headmates from the childhood subsystem start fronting more often again, which is stressful to Siffrin since they have no idea what happens during that time, on top of their own increased dissociation. Mal isn't being very talkative, either, and what it does say is pretty harsh.

age 24 - The decent shift lead at work quits and gets replaced by someone worse, but Siffrin can't afford to change jobs and make any less money, since the abusive partner isn't contributing to bills. After a particularly bad incident between the roommates and then a disastrous attempt to convince the nice one to leave, Siffrin splits into Loop and a new version of Siffrin.

Loop keeps the memories of ages 22-24 (and nearly nothing before that), and copes with them by thinking of all people outside of their system as empty things acting out their roles, rather than real people with feelings and the ability to change. Siffrin keeps the memories from before meeting the nice roommate (though they're a bit foggy by now), and his personality resets a bit accordingly to what he was like three years ago. Loop is fairly aware most of the time when Siffrin is fronting and can chat with him, but Siffrin still totally misses anything that happens when he's not at the front. Loop continues fronting at work, and at home when either roommate is home, and just pulls Siffrin to the front when it's safe. The childhood subsystem stops fronting entirely now that someone else is here to deal with everything.

Since Siffrin is now free from the work/home stress, they're able to find and work a second job, and then another which allows Loop to quit the first. Siffrin mostly fronts for these new jobs, but Loop steps in when Siffrin gets too anxious. When the lease at the current place is up, the two jobs together are enough for them to get a shitty studio apartment with no roommates to worry about.

Age 28 - Siffrin and Loop have found a decent balance. Loop's not fond of Mal, but Siffrin chats with it sometimes. Both Siffrin and Loop still refuse to go anywhere in a car; Loop knows it's some sort of major trigger but doesn't know why, while Siffrin just happens to always choose a different option no matter how inconvenient. They've switched jobs a couple times, and none of them are great, but it could be worse. They've stayed at the same studio apartment this whole time, which also isn't great, but it could be worse.

Mal can still choose to hang out in either the Sif+Loop headspace or the childhood subsystem's headspace. At some point, when they're feeling safer, headmates from the childhood subsystem (especially ▯) will start fronting a tiny bit now and then when triggered by reminders of important memories. Loop is just as cut off from them as Siffrin is, and the moments are so tiny that it's hard to differentiate them from just zoning out, but eventually they'll figure out that there must be at least one more headmate they don't know about.

Find more info on the "current" state of the system in my original headcanon post!

[crispycreambacon]

Hi y'all. I hope you all are well :)

Happy new year first of all. If you're still here with us, thank you. Thank you for getting through 2024, and thank you for being here. I hope 2025 will be kind to you 🫂

Second of all, I'm not sure if anyone is still here, but if there is someone: I'm sorry for disappearing so suddenly. Life really got in the way due to college, and I can't guarantee this next semester of college won't be very busy for me either. I've been trying to work on my personal life, and part of that was avoiding social media. I'd like to come back, but I'll be reducing the amount of time I spend on here.

If you'd like to know more about what else has happened to me, read on. If not, I wish you well, and I hope you'll still welcome me with open arms.

CW // TRANSPHOBIA, MENTAL HEALTH

If I can be vulnerable for a minute: things have gotten really bad for me last December. I came out to my mom, and it went so badly that I ran away for a little bit. I came back for personal reasons, but now I live with parents who refuse to acknowledge my identity and continue to refer to me with my deadname and AGAB. Moreover, I got triggered really badly at some point during the holidays, and it has led to me realizing I can't keep living like this. I need help.

Thankfully, my college provides mental health services, and from what I heard from other students, they're pretty good. They also provide tests which I definitely need. I can't keep living the undiagnosed lifestyle, y'all, I need to know what's going on with my brain shsldhskshs... I have some clues though. Nothing definitive yet, but I am pretty confident in my suspicions, and whether I'm right or wrong, I just want to figure out what's going on and manage it, start to heal and move on from the trauma I've endured both as a child and now.

I hope this update will suffice. I'm eternally grateful for my friends. They have kept me from absolutely losing it, and they have stuck with me at my worst moments. I love them so dearly, and if they are reading this: thank you :)💞

And to everyone else, thank you for taking the time to read. I'd love to know how y'all have been, so please let me know. I love you all. Please stay safe, and may life bring you the happiness you deserve 🫂

[hana-bobo-finch]

i want so badly to go way too in depth into bug fables biology. so many questions. i must make a PowerPoint presentation immediately

[soviet-siscon]

I'm so unbelievably detached from my actual appearance, i just got jumpscared by a photo of myself. I'm just an abstract shape that posts on the internet, that's someone else.

[superstar-playcare]

Future cryptid hunter mystery solver comes home from school

(No images mine! Very self indulgent.)

[bakasara]

y'all lied to me that "wanna go for the title" scene is SO MUCH GAYER in context

[sysig]

Hey, hey! RnR not requested! (Patreon)

[camp-counselor-david]

hi again! wow, um. first of all thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to answer that, wow. i really appreciate that. also, really sorry about.. uh, pretty much everything that's happened to you ahah. feels like i should acknowledge that somehow, hope you're doing ok.

anyways! for the record, i did ask because DID is something i brought up with my therapist recently and she recommended finding some resources about it online to look at until my next appointment (since we only meet once a month right now ahah.) we've talked about other possibilities (like bpd and a pstd thing or something) before that, but i haven't been screened for anything. i've been looking at that kind of stuff, i just thought it would be helpful to ask someone who also experienced that stuff directly!

im sorry if anything in that ask or this one is worded weird, been having a bit of a day lol.

again, i really appreciate you answering and sharing all that!! have a good day

Of course! I don't really have too many feelings tied to the bad stuff that happened? But it's definitely something that takes a lot of evaluation! Alters always have a "why" when it comes to our formations, and you're doing fantastic looking into this! I'd also recommend watching youtube videos from diagnosed systems! I watch a few DID friendly psychyatrists on there, too, who don't take as aggressive of a stance on people who suspect they have DID. You're doing amazing!!

[hiddeninthe-veil]

DHDHSJAKSJCHSJSJA VERY SUDDEN DANGER DAYS EMOTIONS

[perihel1on]

really really funny to post a whole long well-thought-out thing about how i no longer identify as plural then immediately get into a week long argument with myself(s) about whether that's true

[pluto-and-orion]

does nyone want to be friends

[barrghest]

i don't know if the chronic daydreaming came before or after plurality. chicken and egg situation

[plurallollogy]

someone’s happy he got a sourcemate

[movedtonewblogcheckpinnedpost]

Davistat's Sleeping Beauty moment doesn't hit as hard as Lesmand's, sorry.

[flowersnax]

is this anything

[th3-graveyard-shift]

Mfw our bedroom is constantly noticeably warmer than the rest of the house and were in the middle of a heat wave. I'm fuckin sweating over here

The worst part is we know why its like this, we always keep the door to our room closed for privacy and also cuz one of our cats likes to come in and lick the floor and who the fuck knows what mightve fallen in here, we eat in here all the time and haven't vacuumed in so long cuz its a mess. Since the doors always closed that means lack of airflow

Anyways cat tax this is the weirdo bastard who likes to fucking lick the floor