#(literally - it's all just been 'but the law was bad')
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People will often say something like, "Evil Maximus deserves to suffer and die horribly, because he [list of unforgivable atrocities].” But, 1) it is VERY possible to be 100% convinced someone did something and be wrong. Any system with extreme punishments WILL, INEVITABLY inflict that punishment on innocent people. There is no way to design a system that won't do this to multiple, even many, innocents, EXCEPT by not allowing the extreme punishments for anyone at all. Because human judgement is and will always be imperfect, no matter how certain you feel, and no matter how angry, and no matter how justified you are in your rage. 2) what do people mean when they say "deserves"? What is the definition of "to deserve"? I do not think there is any way to define this that does not boil down to either A) the person is fundamentally evil according to some absolute morality system of the universe, aka a God, aka this is religion affecting the legal system, or B) "he deserves to die" literally just means "I want him to die," and is a way of expressing that wish in a passive-voice way that abdicates the speaker's responsibility for the wish. And no matter how badly you may want someone to suffer and die, we are humans, we are flawed, we fuck up. We ESPECIALLY fuck up when we are angry. And we know from studies that people tend to be, to one degree or another, racist and/or sexist (including the tendency to see men as more violent or less deserving of kindness), even we they are sure that they are unbiased. So we'll end up killing or tormenting people who could have been redeemed, or who were 100% innocent, or who were guilty but actually they grew up in an environment that prevented them from ever learning any better, etc. I don't think revenge ever actually makes anything better, especially not state/government/beaurocratic-driven, no-take-backs revenge. And ESPECIALLY not when there is, as in America, strong profit motives to fill prisons. This post is longer than I meant it to be, but the point I am getting at is, even if you on a personal level would quite like to see someone dead or hurting (which is what "they deserve [xyz]" probably means), that doesn't mean it is a good or just idea to try to actually incorporate that feeling into the law to be carried out in a systematic way which WILL also hurt people you do not want to hurt. And if you say, "I will not help so-and-so when they are poor or seriously injured, because they deserve their suffering," and you incorporate that idea into the law, that will absolutely hurt many more innocents, or at least regular, doing their best imperfectly within their circumstances, human beings, than it will people like whoever the wretched person you know or imagine in your head (maybe both) is. Basically, sometimes, in order for the law to be just, protect as many people as possible from harm and do as little harm as possible, it is necessary that sometimes a bad action, or a bad person, be punished less and suffer less than we or those they harm would like to see them suffer (than people say they "deserve" to suffer). Tldr: the word "deserve" is kinda bullshit and unhelpful but very hard to stop using but still also bullshit anyway /good lord why am I on tumblr right now
some of yall don't understand what human rights mean and it is legitimately worrying how some of you think that if a person is 'bad' enough they should have their human rights taken away
#anyway yeah#human rights are human rights#YOU DO NOT MAKE EXCEPTIONS#or everything falls apart#because your exception is just the person you hate the most#and tomorrow maybe someone hates YOU the most#morality ain't clean and objective and we can't actually structure a sane system by pretending that it is#rant?#rant#morality#politics#politics tag because I think people who have blocked that tag prob would rather not read this here rn either#anyway carry on#go watch a cat video#drink water#take your meds#sleep#etc
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I’ve heard comparisons to various kinds of regimes that we could expect of the upcoming shitstorm. Do we have any idea of which one is most likely? I’ve heard everything from India to Franco’s Spain…
I mean to be clear I have no idea, no inside track, just kinda a gut feeling?
I think we have a range from Netanyahu to Putin on the illiberal "Democracy" scale, I hope we land on Netanyahu where elections are still possible and unseating him is hard but doable. In a Netanyahu like scenario the illiberal leader floods the zone with propaganda, radicalizes his supporters, attacks free media and demonizes political opponents as dangerous to the nation. But elections themselves remain free and fair its just the public discourse thats been corrupted and the leader is very comfortable doing give aways to key supporting blocks to win votes, national consequences be damned.
this clearly is very bad, and like Netanyahu you can expect Trump to attack our system of Justice and undermine its independence and try to destroy its powers all in the name of protecting himself. Hopefully however Trump's attacks will be narrowly focused on himself and not end up destroying much of our justice system.
I fear however we might end up with an Orbán or Erdoğan type system, where the above holds with the corruptions of media, the radicalization and radical polarization of society and the corruption of government to the sole end of the re-election of the leader and his party. But on top of that, elections are no longer free. I fear less a top down banning of elections, that remains very unlikely. I fear more local Republicans. I suspect no matter what they'll keep doing what they're doing, which is underfunding elections so major urban areas don't have enough polling places and suffer long lines and lower turn out, as well as passing more annoying and difficult voter ID laws designed to lower turnout particularly among black voters.
but I worry that with a Trump heavy judiciary more of these laws will get through and be MORE restrictive. I also fear we could see local Republican elected officials now empowered, will refuse to certify elections they dislike, or actively cheat and with a Trump controlled DOJ cases just are never brought, while local Democratic officials might live under a microscope and be charged and removed for literally any imaginary thing. Indeed we saw Ron DeSantis removed a number of local legal officials who were popularly elected because he didn't like how they did their jobs. We could see a lot more of that in general but aimed at local Democratic elections officials in red/swing states.
in that case it goes from past hard to nearly impossible to remove the illiberal leader.
so basically we have to hope he just/only makes our society a toxic hate filled hell pit and the corruption of our Democracy remains minimal
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#putting this in the tags because my notifications are already nonsense enough#and I'm not interested in directing harassment anyone's way#and so#my good dudes#please learn how to read#I've been accused of 'piss poor reading comprehension' multiple times because I quoted the article saying 'outage'#and then described the attitude of the article toward the library closures as 'outrage'#and apparently the only reason I could come to this conclusion is by misreading 'outage' as 'outrage'#which.#just.#please learn how to read more than the literal meaning of words#reading the literal words is good 101 reading comprehension#please strive to reach 102#and some 'oh i did a a pd clinic in law school and then was advised not to pursue it b/c i'm just *so virtuous* and *so moral* asshole'#who is responding to my post about the IA's justification post insisting that I'm apparently insisting that law = morality#and#which#just#please#dear god#learn to read#but also#it's kind of fascinating#how the criticism of the IA's actions that people are responding to#(aside from saying I'm misreading their outrage toward library closures)#is primarily the idea that their 'emergency library' stole from authors & that such stealing was wrong#and in particular#nothing at all about how IA recklessly completely destroyed themselves by so obviously violating the law#(literally - it's all just been 'but the law was bad')#(and I guess if they see someone saying 'this is a stupid way to challenge the law' they can only read that as meaning 'this law is good'??
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everyday I think about him (Ippolit Terentyev)
#the idiot#ippolit terentyev#idk why of all characters he's the one that has left such an impression on me but oh boy#it's been over a year since I've read his 'explanation' and everything that followed and it hasn't left my mind since#god all he wanted was some sympathy and recognition#and they just make fun of him#literally all this boy wants is to be taken seriously and no one does#they either laugh at him or beg him to shut up#because his vulnerability and the fact that he's dying makes them so uncomfortable#and he's so ashamed as well over his own vulnerbility#that even when people aren't laughing at him he'll imagine they are#and people blame him for being self absorbed?? like of course he is!!#he's EIGHTEEN and DYING#this is a teenager who's just come to the realisation that he has no agency over his life whatsoever#and that all that awaits him are the cruel laws of nature#he has a right to be upset about that#he's literally the man condemned to death that myshkin talked about#and yes he's ridiculous and awkward and not always right and incoherent and all that#and he can really be insufferable and contemptuous and unfeeling towards others#and even the state he's in doesn't really serve as an excuse for that#yet i feel bad for him#and he's such a teenager too he's so insecure and just wants to impress the people around him#and yes he's doing it for attention#of course he wants attention#can you blame him??#all he wants is to be heard#to feel like his life mattered#but instead everyone's just begging him to shut up#like they're just waiting for him to kick the bucket so the uncomfortable ordeal can be over with#sorry i just have a lot of thoughts about Ippolit and I'm being very incoherent because i didn't plan on typing all this lol
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Honestly considering changing my career to a school bus driver after whatever happened in the local news yesterday
#tw csa mention#tw csa#for context yesterday the discourse in local internet was a user brings up that thete was a creep on tiktok-#uploading vids of minors riding his bus#and the caption is very very gross like one of it said “today my crush is doing her homework” like what the fuck dude#and there's literally one video of him where this girl sleeps and he tries to wake her up by kissing the girl in the forehead#and touching her body like literally gross gross gross you need to go to hell#whats more upsetting is that theres 600k following this creep and the comments are enabling this guys' behaviour#saying shit like it was just light teasing and woke ppl ruins everything and say their relatives does that when they were-#young and nothing happened like what the fuck what the fuck what the fuckk#it's really really really upsetting for me that people really back up groomers#like not sorry at all fuck you this is so personal to me#i dont want to say more but like this really affects me and I legit cry for this ugh#but Im really glad at least theres people with brains who vehemently objects this and brings this case to the law enforcer#and the creep's acc got banned just today and got arrested#im so sorry im a mess ive been in this stupid depressive mood for weeks but this one just really takes the fucking cake#i want to be a van driver just so kids dont have to ride van with creepy man#i dont think thay sounds so bad at all i like driving
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i will not stand green team in my house. i swear to god.
#its really funny to me bc ive seen mfers be like wow rhaenyra used her position and power to r*pe crispy cola cola man which no???#he could've said NO and yknow what he wouldve been backed up because he is 1. a man 2. a part of the king's guard bc he serves to THE king#NOT NYRA#but he got with her bc he HAD the chance and then got pissy because he wanted to marry her#and not only bc of honor as he says but because he feels emasculated that he cannot have power of nyra as a husband#also think abt what hes implying there for one moment: take her out of the world she already knows to a world HE knows very well#like he doesnt love her he only wished to possess her#something something how the 'alpha' male types act when they find a bad bitch but then want her to stay at home mother same vibes here#he wanted to make her dependent of him despite already having a BIG thing over her head#also then to have the nerve to NOT call him what he is a MISOGYNIST bc alicent apparently backs him up???#when like alicent uses the patriarchal system to HURT rhaenyra at EVERY single turn#alicent ruined rhaenyra's life out of spite and envy and jealousy#worst part is that rhaenyra TRIED to amend their relationship#MORE than alicent ever did with her#she gets harwin killed her monster kids get her childrens killed#and ALL the pass deeds that were trying to put her down#also how cole and her both of them killed the lovers of laenor and nyra which mind you#people they loved#and both laenor and rhaenyra knew this and they were okey with it but apparently you gotta ask permition to alicent and cole first#like fuck off#also laenor said im the father which PER IRL MEDIEVAL LAW THAT MAKES THEM LEGITIMATE#and also vyseris saw them as legitimate#and thats it#they ARE legitimate and like Vyseris is slow but not blind (yet akjsdbflak) he knew that Rhaenyra's kids were Harwin's but he literally#did NOT care and it was PRETTY clear that he still made them legitimate#the only time i've seen rhaenyra pull rank its when laenor is like noooo haha i wanna go to war pweaseeee let me go to war#like she literally was just vibing and alicent and cole we're mad and seething
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Your “just elope” post made me laugh out loud.
My wedding was five years ago, and I’m STILL mad I couldn’t convince my spouse to elope. It was sooooooo much money, and the pictures are lovely, but seriously, I tell everyone to just take a great trip instead, weddings are dumb.
Marriage is pretty great though.
I am very glad you're experiencing wedded bliss though I wish you were able to experience wedded bliss with an extra $10,000 in the bank lol
#love attending weddings#have yet to enjoy a friend planning one I'm ngl#like I'd feel differently if I met someone who was having a good time but so far it's been stressful dramatic messes#also watching my friends plan weddings has given me a great deal of appreciation for my family too...#like we all have our differences but I also know everyone can put them aside for a single day if need be#and also I know that no one is going to get so drunk they ruin the party#[cousin nick WILL get drunk but he'll just beg you to dance and be a good time lol we like him]#which. cannot be said for either wedding I've been part of lol#idk respectfully if I had a significant other with horrible parents or something I'd literally consider backing out of the relationship...#the amount of peace stolen from my friends because of it is criminal#like genuinely I think bad in-laws can ruin your life and I don't know if a romantic relationship is worth that#(though in one case my friend was the one with... complicated relationships with her parents. so)#idk I'm in a privileged place to say that + have never had to deal with very bad in-laws in a relationship so it's easy for me to say yknow
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i was so over Noragami but goddamn i keep going back to how Kazuma fucking kills people and tortures people and controls, subjugates, dominates people and he DESIRES his god and he can do all that without them being sins because he's fully convinced in his actions being justified and his insane love for his god overcomes all, gods can do wrong? KAZUMA can do no wrong by the power of his own will. god bless.
#mypost#DO I MISREMEMBER OR DID HE LIKE. NEVER STING BISHAMON.#i could be all wrong tho haha lol. its just a sexy image to believe in so i will keep believing it kazuma style 👍#fake it till you make it extreme edition: believe you can do wrong until you cross the threshold of gods laws and youre in the clear#then you can do all wrongs and they wont be wrong: KAZUMA STYLE!#kazuma#noragami#idek man i wont rewatch it cuz hiyori stuff makes me uncomfortable#but whatever bishamon-kazuma had going on was sexy as hell#YOURE mine NO Y O U R E --Mine-- nO YOU-#in endless succession#bishamons like YOU the human the instrument are actually mine i gave your fuckin name <3#kazumas like ahaha thanks btw i cherish that and cherish you so bad i made you into the biggest god and i possessively own you <3#bishamons like ITS ME who should be protecting YOU cuz im a god hope you understand xoxo#kazumas like HAH love that for you queen but 1-im not worthy of your affection and 2-ill literally [REDACTED] to protect you#bishamons been frustrated flustered by his DARING to imply hes there to protect her since day 1!!!! when it was just the two them#and kazumas been devoted to fault (makes him insane) since day 1!!!!
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finished my first year of college last week and i truly do not know how to feel about it
#i wanna go back i dont wanna be in my home town i miss it so much and it literally hasnt even been a week since i left#anyway.#my grades defintely were not what i wanted them to be and i have to get my shit together big time if i wanna go to law/grad school lol#BUT#besides that and me getting mold poisining and being sick the entire first semester it really wasnt bad at all#i met so many wonderful people and did so many fun things and i absolutely cannot wait to move into my apartment in august#and start my sophmore year#i have so so so so so so so so many exciting things to look forward to#plus i'm really excited for my classes next semester so i hope those go well#i'll be finishing my minor in my spring semester so i'm going to try to find something else to minor in since i couldn't double major#i also really have to get the ball rolling on taking classes for my major because almost everything has just been geneds so far and that#is not doing me any good so i'll definetly be taking some summer classes#but anywhosies all in all it was really good and i absolutely cannot wait to go back#lacey talks
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#there's this wild thing i do where i dont trust the chemical lables on containers in the lab#which is 1000% irrational bc by law they have to b correctly labled#i guess its probably more that i dont trust my ability to read the lables. thats a lil more irrational#lil more rational i mean. bc dyslexia and a short term memory that has been certified as below average#so i read the lable and think ok i read the right thing. then i turn around and im immediatly like ok but did i remember that right?#and so i have to go back and check multiple times. it happens everytime i have to pour ethanol#ill pour it into the container and still im like. ok but is this actually ethanol???? yes! u checked the cabinet 3 times and it behaves#like ethanol! wtf is ur problem??? good lord. this is part of the reason i hated chemistry labs#i would get so fucking stressed out that i would have to leave the room and lay on a bench outside so i wouldnt pass out#bc i dont deal well with time pressure and i would have to read the instructions over and over and over and walk back and forth to the#chemical. distrusting of what i just picked up bc i cant trust my eyes and brain. and that eats up a lot of time#and is super fucking frustrating. its also y i go to the lab at weird times so ppl cant see me tracking and back tracking bc my brain cant#go straight from a to b. annoying. its also y i cant handle cooking bc its literally like chemistry#i cant trust my brain to understand instructions under time pressure. i hate it#i also have to tap my pockets like every five minutes to make sure i still have my keys on me bc idk im afriad ill lose them#recently ive been very bad abt locking my door too. as in i lock my door. take ten steps away and cant remember if i locked my door#so i either have to go back and check. and its always locked. or i walk away with a horrible sinking feeling in my gut#even when i kno i locked it. im like. but did i tho??? and i always forget to double check until im like annoyingly far away#whatever. its not that bad. just annoying mostly. sigh... im back taking measurements for the next 4 or 5 days#im being a horrible mope bc all my time feels empty. like i gotta probably say thank u to coauthors for their help getting a manuscript#accepted but i just feel so detached abt it im like so fucking what? but whatever. i gotta pretend to b a functional person#and then work on all rhe other manuscripts that r way more boring. like sure useful whatever i dont care its gonna b boring to write#uuuuugh this what the stupid measurements do to me. im an empty shell. i dont even kno what to draw or read or watch. im just bleh sad#bc i kno im activitly making bad and wasteful choices but i self awareness doesnt seem to help#alas. trapped in a web of compulsive patterns#unrelated
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Austria coming in with another masterful execution of law!
Now that the covid mask mandate isn't valid anymore we revert back to a law that got approved in 2019 I think... Its a law that prohibits you from masking your face! (literally just made bc of Islamophobia)... So now it's illegal in Austria to wear a mask in public! But also at the same time required to wear a mask if you tested positive! And when your in like a hospital and retirement homes! So now if you wanna wear a mask you need a doctor's note so that you are allowed to in public! :D
#Public includes stuff like trains and busses. University. Most Workplaces.#Not like it's still also a good idea to wear a mask even if you just have a cold or sth so you don't infect ppl etc#It's literally so dumb... Like last year it was still 'its illegal to not wear a mask' now it's illegal to do that?? What???#The law was a dumb law from the start they should have just removed it or at least work on removing it#I really hope the votes next year get our politics more normal again bc it was just absolute chaos the last few years#One dude tried to sell Austria to the Russians or sth like that and then that other dude took over and#Then ppl said that dude is also corrupt so there was an investigation and stuff so someone else took over#And then I think they didn't find something so a few other parties called to get him out of office and then he just quit I think or was#Bullied out and then we had a vote again but the other parties all had shit candidates for chancellor#And I think in the meantime we changed chancellor again as well??? Like I literally have no idea who was chancellor since Kurz (2nd dude)#And then in the middle of covid our health minister also quit I think? 😂😂#Oh and also a satire party (the beer party!) was really popular as well and that dude (Marco pogo) ran for president#Like he didn't get it but still he got like 3rd place with 8% of all votes#It's just all a fkn mess#OH RIGHT and then there was also a thing with an old Nazi song book that was used in the youth group of one party or sth like that#But I honestly can't remember if that was pre or post the Ibiza incident (selling to Russia thing)#Also I haven't fact checked anything in these notes. Be aware that it's 3am and I've been awake for 22 hours at this point.#And that my memory is bad so I might be conflating some stuff or miss remembering
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finally got a second heater and it doesn’t work 🙃
#it’s fine it’s just below 50 degrees inside#not like that wasn’t most of last winter anyway but#man I was hoping to not have to deal with this#and this is like the fourth time in two weeks I thought it was done. FULLY taken care of#just to have circumstance or SOMEONE I KNOW fuck me over. fuck ME over!!!! I’M ALREADY FUCKED OVER!!!! 24 fucking 7!!!! fuck someone else!#I’m ace anyway 😡#I’m just so exhausted it’s like Murphys’ law has seeped into every single aspect of my life from personal private or social to familial#like it’s just all been so bad lately#but despite all the many ways my life has been pretty literally crumbling away or apart#right now the worst thing was expecting#again#to be able to get out of bed not shivering or walk in from outside and be comfortable#and having it wrenched away at the last second. again. rough stuff bro#‘Sam get a job’ my companion in christ I live in a rotting box and every time I try to make it better something else get so much worse#I cannot get a job if I’m just barely surviving but thanks#and MAYBE if I didn’t have to move out so I wouldn’t kms I may have a job 🤷 so maaaybe don’t tell me to get once since I’m here cause of YOU#it’s fine I’m fine with it#I’m not vagueing it’s not personal I’m fine#😒😞#all I’m saying is if 13 year old Sam could see what 23 year old Sam looks like and lives like he def woulda just killer himself#like it was bad then and I thought I’d be good now but MAN#MAN COULD THAT NOT HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG BUD. pretty much been a straight downward slope since#holdin out wasn’t worth it so far man. maybe we’ll get lucky with a few more years of agony and suffering tho 🤷#killer himself ffs good thing this is a shitty cringe vent post
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Slaying monsters for a mission, when I forgot that damage to them is punishable by law.
Nothing, because I have anti-law cards baby.
duality of man
#Reblog#textpost#i’ve been replaying final fantasy tactics advance recently it’s been super fun revisiting it#despite what people say the law system in that game isn’t too hard to figure out#i mean for crying out loud not even halfway through the game you get literal ‘get out of jail free cards’ which you can use#but i get the fact that yeah as a kid i had no idea how it worked and got frustrated that all my best members were getting arrested#now however? i get it and if there’s bad rng with laws i just wait a couple of days for them to cycle
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thinking abt dove baek and how they've done a variety of illegal things to survive and they justify all of it bc it was for their survival right and as an adult they're avoiding breaking the law as much as possible bc they have to be a good influence for sparrow bc they don't want him to pick up any of their bad behaviors right but at the same time they're super nonchalant and open abt some of the stuff they did (there's some things that are going to stay buried forever thank you very much) so sparrow absolutely picks up on that energy and the first (and only) time dove has to come pick their son up after he's caught stealing they're incredibly upset – at him but mostly themself – and they fear for their LIFE bc it's totally going to be blamed on them and while karina isn't gonna hold it against them forever she won't be happy abt it and her parents will be even more upset.
meanwhile sparrow thinks he's done some cool shit and doesn't understand why everyone's not being chill about it
#minotaur // dove baek#the house // musing#minotaur // karina downing#dove it literally the most anxious they have ever been as a parent#while also fighting back the urge to give their son pointers bc getting caught? really bro#the only thing stopping them is the fact that they're the parent and reenie would not be happy at all if they gave their son tips#for breaking the law#sparrow is sitting in the backseat of dove's borrowed car just happy to be there#he 100% tells jason about it and the entire time dove is behind him giving jason a look that says#“do not fucking tell him that was cool do not do that do not give him advice i swear to god jason peter”#and jason. even tho he is a being of chaos actually listens lmao#karina comes over later and has dove go outside with her so they can have a talk & sparrow stays chilling with jay#it is. kind of awkward but again sparrow is happy to be there :)#karina and dove conversation is mostly them arguing back and forth w each other but they didn't want to do it in front of their kid#she's super pissed at them and they're pissed at themself so it's? not a great time#they cool off after awhile and they're chill again but they do have to go have a Serious Talk w their kid#for the record im imagining sparrow at like 13 or 14 when this happens#which adds layers to it bc i can see dove getting that call and finding out what he did and they flashback to what they were doing at that#age and how it wasn't cool for them and it's definitely not cool when he does it and it's just a little bit of panic#and it rlly sinks in that they've done some bad shit to survive and they don't want sparrow to ever have to do that#but like most things dove repressed that shit :)#oh and sparrow n jason dynamic is very good 2 me#jason is not his dad or parental figure at all really bc dove isn't pushing that on him#and he's also not just a stranger or only his dad's boyfriend#he's like a secret third thing#bc he IS important to sparrow fr#especially once sparrow was old enough to realize jason wasn't just his dad's cool friend that stayed over a lot lmao#and jay cares abt sparrow bc yknow? that's his dove's kid! he's been around since sparrow was rlly little he's been there! so even if he's#not a dad or overt parental figure or anything they're still important to each other#it's a family dynamic that doesn't like fit into a nuclear family format ya feel
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The conversation sucked but was so what I needed. I was asked to respect his decision to move on. & I asked for the respect to not have sex anymore. Because I love my husband & it makes it harder for me to move on. I was being cordial, not trying to fight. But instead of saying okay & ending the conversation I get shit talked about me. Like what?
I want to move on peacefully as well, just as he requested & not having sex with someone I love who no longer loves me back makes me wrong? So much negative things being said to me. When the convo could’ve been so short. Just crazy. Proves me how toxic he truly is.
But the conversation was needed for me to understand that I am not the only one who messed up. I was lied to & made to believe we’d always work through it & always get stronger through our downfalls. I mean I literally got all the proof of his betrayal, but to him it was nothing & I’m the bad guy. He told me to stay when I should’ve left & now he denies it lmao Okay. We both messed up. Take accountability as I have. I was willing to always try & you lied about never giving up & always trying & that divorce was never an option. Thanks for showing me your true colors. Even showing me how much of a snitch he is by threatening me with law enforcement like really. Thank you for the push. I’m with our kids 85% of the time cause you work a lot & that’s okay I understand that but you threaten to try to get me in trouble with the law. Fake AF. So unbelievable but it’s okay. Thank god I didn’t decide to go back to that place when you asked me to for our kids. I knew it wasn’t gonna be a good idea & I’m so thankful I stuck to my gut feeling.
& he’s mad I use this app to vent instead of talking to people & posting on apps where people know us. Don’t nobody know me here. Don’t nobody even care. You left me, you can’t dictate how I heal myself from being fooled. Crazy how the truth unfolds when things get rough.
#people really switch up on you#never trust a person who speaks poorly about you when man#never trust someone who only blames you#only good thing was the children who taught me to be gentle & loving cause they so stuck up my ass. lol#I let myself trust someone after never trusting a soul due to the bad that was done to me by people who were supposed to protect me#God sees everything & saw me try my best#yes I made mistakes but nothing to be treated so poorly about#both of us fucked up & at least I take accountability for my actions#glad I could now see the toxicity & lies told#never was his love just had been settled for#I couldn’t even get the same respect of what’s best for me to move on but I have to respect his decision#I’m so dumb#I let him in & he failed me & lied to me#trying to make me believe I’m bad when I know I’m not#I tried he gave up. I kept my promise to god in my marriage not him & god sees it all so stop your lies#belittling my feelings & speaking so poorly of me#you reap what you sow. & god has a better plan for. glad he pushed my limits. it so helpful#sucks I love him but reading everything he texts me for over a month helps me. I’ve been cordial & our texts prove it#manipulation at its finest. crazy how one switches up & blames everyone else but themselves#I tried. that’s all that matters. couldn’t reciprocate the respect asked of me. respect was never there#I was never the one. I have so much proof. it helps me move on & be strong for myself#I deserve better & will better myself for myself & my kids that he asked for to do it the right way yet breaks apart another family#make it make sense. but honestly it don’t even matter. things won’t get better. he hates me & I can’t trust him#when someone threatens you with the law & is okay with being snitch you can never trust them. with no trust nothing will get better#he don’t wanna make it work. I’m happy he disrespected me. was needed to let go as asked. I was never the one#just another lesson babygirl#I know I did my best but ain’t gonna keep being stupid for someone who disrespects me & makes everything an argument#like I literally just wanted to not have sex so I can let go. sex makes things confusing. I wasn’t fighting. n got the worst said to me.#like why can’t I get the respect I was asked for. I’ve been cordial. tryna be respectful to eachother for our kids. but he cant even do tha#ashamed in myself for letting someone in. fooled me so bad it’s crazy how someone can be so fake. I’m shocked by the reaction of my request
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