#(kinda hard for me rn to actually verbally say it)

[burned0utstar]

His hands are so warm and comforting and his smile is so sweet and his eyes so pretty and his voice so calming and his overall presence just everything and and-

[mymoshangthoughts]

okay, okay, okay, bear with me

mobei jun already knows about shang qinghua as airplane

oki ive decided to take advantage of the fact that WE NEVER GET A MOBEI JUN POV AND I'LL BE FORVER SALTY ABOUT THAT SHIT

but like, shen yuan figured airplane out REAL fast, right? they barely spent time together before the immortal alliance and then it takes one surprise before airplane is saying stupid shit, right?

and i cant help but think, mobei jun aint dumb and he's been spending How Many Years crashing at shang qinghua's leisure house whenever the fuck he feels like it?

he also finds shang qinghua to be Hella Sus because come on, ofc he does. a human just declares their undying loyalty to you after one fucking meeting??? even if he believes shang qinghua is being sincere in the moment, the fact that he was so quick to betray his sect doesnt speak of a loyal servant

so why wouldnt he snoop? why wouldnt he pay extra close attention when shang qinghua says shit that doesnt make sense? why wouldnt he notice when shang qinghua speaks or writes in a language that he doesnt recognize? airplane canonically isnt fluent in english so if he used a bit of it, especially chinglish, wouldnt mobei jun be able to learn some of the meanings of the words just by context clues? especially when he has YEARS to decode it? like if airplane was fluent, maybe he could hide the meaning, but a limited vocabulary adapted to another language isnt actually super hard to decode. it's the same reason that you can generally understand what slang means before you look up the definition. you might not know what 'rizz' means, but you can pick up the meaning from context clues.

anyway im over explaining the linguistic aspects ALL IM SAYING IS what if airplane kinda depends heavily on chinglish to be his Secret Language that Theres No Way That Anyone Here Can Get. and sure, for most people, it does seem like gibberish. but again, mobei jun has YEARS at his side and reasons to nitpick at it and decode it.

like what if airplane had a habit of writing out pidw plot points in chinglish bc look he is Going to forget shit no matter what, he wrote that novel a lifetime ago, but theres some info thats pretty important for him to Not Forget. so mobei jun is just left with a huge stash of Impossible Information that shang qinghua writes about

everything ranging from future events to obscure demon world facts that theres just no justifiable reason for shang qinghua to know about and just everything in between.

but also what if shang qinghua wrote his feelings? his thoughts? his issues? like cmon, he literally has NO ONE to consult with about the insanity of his life before cucumber-bro, and his life is really crazy, and he used to be the person who wrote out his feelings via novel but look dude he's not about to tempt fate by writing out another novel rn so a diary makes sense. or at least like, random venting

and again, this isnt even mentioning airplane having some potential verbal fuckups that mobei jun can add to his ever growing file of "shang qinghua has something fucking going on"

and like, maybe mobei jun hasnt actually figured out the exact truth but he has some eerily close guesses. or maybe airplane wrote a lengthy journal explaining literally his entire fucked up life and mobei jun knows Everything.

look im just a little bit obsessed with mobei jun casually being aware for YEARS that shang qinghua is from another world and might have once had god-like powers over this world. i think this is very funny and i think it could work in a canon compliant way. cuz i also like to think that some of mobei jun's aggro at shang qinghua was a mixture of

you literally wont tell me who you really are. you claim to be my loyal subject but you wont even tell me your real name and Yes I'm Upset About That

you fucking fucker, you literally PLANNED that horrible event to happen???? you suck so bad omfg. THAT WAS TRAUMATIZING FOR ME YOU JERK NO I DONT CARE IF YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT NOW

your handwriting sucks and im mad that i didnt just have to decode your weird other language, i also had to decode your fucking horrendous handwriting and i dont know if i can ever forgive you for that

you barely ever show your real personality in front of me and i have to learn how you really feel by reading this fucking notes and YES IM UPSET ABOUT THAT

i also just love the idea of Something Happening to do with the multiverse and basically mobei jun is the only one who isnt remotely surprised lmfao. binghe is in crisis mode, cucumber thinks he's gonna die, airplane is freaked out, and mobei jun is just like "yeah, figured some dumb shit like this might happen. you didnt know binghe? dont you pay any attention to your husband :/ dude, they're not even good at hiding it, i thought you were supposed to be smart"

also the simultaneous heartattacks that cucumber and airplane would have that mobei jun just KNOWS like thats hilarious. imagine they need to talk about something secretly in public and its super urgent and mobei jun just starts using chinglish or webspeak or something perfectly and cumplane are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

mobei jun: that mofo is hella sus, but keep it on the dl. ttyl i need to do a vibe check

cumplane: ?!?!?!?!?!?

[i-miss-summertime]

THE ianthony song for me rn is Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish, from Anthony's POV (this one is gonna be a little more on vibes since the song lyrics are admittedly a bit simple)

ill be real, this one is purely vibes considering the lyrics of the first verse are pretty vague but still feels like it fits into our gloomy boy's style of how he thinks of love. A serial monogamist, he self admits to falling hard and fast for people. These morbid, grand statements of love feel really in line with Anthony (iykyk, watch his insta stories if you dont).

The line that really sticks out to me is the "I know I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone" like reflecting back on the days that Anthony felt like he was taking on more of the work of Smosh and his eventual need to go independent.

Also the "might not be forever/But if it's forever, it's even better" is so "if we burn this to the ground, im happy to do that with you"-core. Like no one knows what the future will bring, no one can guarantee what's going to happen but they want to continue Smosh and be friends for the long haul.

Lastly, I just feel like even the term "Birds of a feather" really apply to them. So many commenters, even people who got into Smosh post-Anthony leaving, were commenting how Anthony's the other half of Ian's weird humor. Amanda said, in their "We React to Your Compilations" video when watching the I&A compilation, "they are the same." It was just a short throwaway line but it feels like even people around them feel like they're two of a kind.

This pre-chorus is actually so Anthony. He's so transparent with his fondness for his friend. That's his BEST FRIEND who he's known since he was a little kid.

Plus, I love Anthony and jokes about his emotional, crying content aside, he's so emotive and sensitive. Not in a negative way like sensitive can sometimes mean, but just wears his heart on his sleeve more than many men (him crying during his ISADW with Ian, tearing up during the Reading the Angry Letter video, even crying during that one reddit story about two best friends falling for each other). He just seems like the type to cry from how much he loves someone.

now THIS is the verse that makes me clock it as Anthony thinking of Ian. In this era, he's hyping Ian up so much and a compliment machine in contrast. We know Ian doesn't give himself enough credit as said by Anthony and Shayne on Smosh Mouth and with his history of downplaying his work, I could definitely see an interaction of his friends being frustrated on Ian's behalf of not being able to accept compliments.

Like literally, can you not see him responding to a compliment with insistence that it's just a "bit" as resident of Bit City lol. I also love the "don't be stupid" line like as much as Anthony is so fond of Ian, what would their relationship be without a bit of heckling in a loving way.

Finally, the post chorus gets me so much fr.

In a metaphorical sense, they've talked about how they've had to let go off who they saw the other as, let go of their past friendship to meet each other again.

Yes, they're different people now and this in many cases mean they aren't compatible to the point of being able to just be best friends again. This is where the metaphor of knowing someone from another live KILLS me. Yes, they look different and act different but you still know them where it matters. You can love them for who they are at their core and learn to love the new pieces of them as they evolve. Even if they're different in so many ways to old Ian and Anthony, "you had that same look in your eyes" that brings them back to that bond

"I love you, don't act so surprised"

Look, I know I just rambled about how this song is so from Anthony's perspective but can you not imagine Ian saying this after the funeral roast. He said I love you and everyone, including Anthony was so shook. I think they both knew that Ian loved Anthony, it was just never said, verbally. Kinda teasing but still endearing, the line reads as "I'll tell you because you love the verbal validation but you already know <3"

I just love how you can easily interpret this song as platonic and it's still so sweet and describing this deep love. I just can't help but think of them when I hear it <333

[kaebedom-me]

Im not sure if you're open for requests rn but i am so inlove with your stories with the poly bois haha, (youre actually the only one ive seen really write for it and youre also the one who dragged me into liking it so thank you hahaha)

BUT anyways would it be alright if you could write something with childe and kaeya in a modern!college! au where perhaps the gn!reader has been secretly bullied for yknow, taking the two, most sought after, bois in the uni? But the readers stubborn and keeps it to themselves till maybe the bois notice a bruise of sorts or smth? 👁👁

sorry if this was long but have a good day!!

i lOVE this overused trope and aaa I'm so glad you enjoy they!! i think they're the best to this day they're my strongest main :')

if i were reader i'd honestly be thriving and be rubbing it in people's faces like hah sucks to be you bitch

maybe reader is like that uwu i also get that sometimes it's hard to deal with constant mean things being said about you uwu

i kinda see you not wanting to tell childe and kaeya about it because they won't let it slide so easily, they are protective over you after all

also you wouldn't put it past them to not do anything stupid drastic about it so you kinda just keep it on the down low hoping it'd pass you know

but boooy were you wrong, for the sake of plot I'm saying these people are relentless and lifeless and have nothing else better to worry about in their busy college life and the bullying just kept coming LMAO

it started out small, people not wanting to be in groups with you then maybe acquaintances started exclude you from activities the verbal bulling didn't come til after a while

the boys arent stupid they aren't blind and oblivious about it but you never made it out to be a problem so they don't want to risk making you upset by interfering

childe would call out someone for being mean to you though and that usually steers people away for a while

kaeya doesn't try to bully people back but he can't help the things his silver tongue spits out sometimes, ain't no one is gonna disrespect his s/o in front of him

hates that you're bummed about it for a while so will try to make it up to you by bringing you out of dates outside of the town do other uni goers don't see

til one day these high school bullies started to grow some balls, saw that the boys were protecting you a lot and just had to jab at you when they weren't around, some were brave enough to make a passive aggressive comment around them too v rude

i feel? they'd try to interfere like subtly? like want to deter the attention from you but somehow made it worse for awhile HAHHAHAHA

like leaving hickeys on you was not a good idea because you were tripped over by some fucking bitch when they saw it. they even made a comment about how humongous your insect bite was

you'll prolly try to stop them from doing anything weird to you for a while

it really started something when the tripping happened. maybe you still try to be meek about it and hope it'll go away but people are just that free you know? power trip or whatever

they just took it as encouragement and started to corner you while you were going around uni

that's when things became physical enough for childe and kaeya to notice

they'd hate themselves for letting it come to this because you are miserable and they could've done something much sooner and maybe they should've umu

will make you cough up names of the people who have been physically abusive and if you don't they'd be a lil frustrated and disappointed

i see it mostly being like them interpreting it as you don't trust the two of them enough to share your troubles with

they'll think they haven't been attentive enough or maybe they haven't been doing anything to let you know that you can lean on them for support

(but it's actually your brain that's stupid and stubborn umu)

but it's ok because it's time to fix everything so you can be happy again

childe and kaeya have enough friends and intel to know snuff out the morons that's been bothering you

and if it happened to be someone they used to associate with they'll prolly going to be chewed out by kaeya and beat up by childe

i wanna say they gather evidence and send it to the bullies' respective profs but i think they're more the type to settle this on the down low and make people really regret what they've done to you

they do gather evidence and send it school and put the info public to ruin people's lives but that's not until they got their revenge uwu

they type to go and confront the bullies uwu what you can't take what you dish out? childe and kaeya can be even meaner bullies too if they chose to but instead they use their charm for good smh

will scare bitches into never wanting to set foot outside of their room again

but won't do anything drastic enough to draw attention to them, they're better than these people ofc

childe and kaeya can be a very scary combo and you wouldn't want to piss them off. they're both schemers and nasty

one will break your bones while the other would break you emotionally uwu all for shits and giggles because that was what seemed to get them off when it was you

when all is said and done and they've completely ruined your bully's life they'll come back to you for a long talk

wants to know whats up and wants to make sure you don't feel like you have to carry something like this alone again

pampers you a ton

if you're like sdfalfgh about them handling it their way you're gonna have to deal with it because it was the only way

(it wasn't they were just in a bad mood because you were sad)

they'll!! reassure you a ton too!! and talk enough to uncover why you handled it the way you did

they want to be there for you and want you to rely on them for things like these!

also you made them worry a whole fuck ton so you better apologise!!!!!

soft make up and reassurance sex tho :bottom emoji: because you three were really hurt during this time

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

hihihhi ok so i know you're massively fixated on the cool divine quad so in relation to the ask you sent me YES and and and literally give me any information you have on them PLEASE 🥺

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD YAY THANK YOU!!!!

okay so lets start with the ask i sent you lmao

Orion will listen to any music really, but he adores classical music, but also his favorite band would be tally hall

Oz listens to emo music. their favorite band would be mcr.

Opal listens to alot of pop but also their favorite music artist would be jack stauber

Nathalie is funny, like Orion she adores classical music, but shes also pop music trash/aff (also she would 1000% listen to penelope scott like. religiously.)

NOW FOR THE OTHER INFO PART!!!!

well if you hadnt noticed by now all of them are prettyyyyy queer (for alot of them its actually a very important part of their character)

Orion is aromantic and bisexual, technically his gender is kinda weird but if i had to describe it in basic terms id say gender non conforming transmasc? (he/him)

Oz is what i like to call an AAA battery. aromantic, asexual, agender. (they/he)

Opal doesn't label their sexual or romantic orientation but they're nonbinary!!! (they/them)

Nathalie is cupioromantic asexual, like Orion her gender experience is hard to label but again if i had to put it in simple terms id say transfem. (she/her)

some other random info:

all four of them actually go to school! everyone can tell there's something off about the four of them but everyone just stays away because they're very....eerie, off-putting, etc.

nathalie and orions sibling love language is violently insulting eachother

orion finds oz and opal particularly fascinating which plays a huge role in their friendship

nathalie is an awful cook but as she can physically not taste what she makes, she does not realize this. meanwhile orion is a weirdly good cook but nobody trusts what he prepares

oz is autistic and semi verbal!

opal has adhd and dyslexia!

oz tried to bite orion once

pretty sure ive said this before but orion throws rocks at kids like i will never stop bringing that up

nathalie calls oz "ozzy"

nathalies style is ironically very doll like, lots of frills, lace, ruffles, and light colors

and that's everything i can think of rn!!!

[youn9racha]

Don’t Test Me

Requested by: @crzy-devil

Pairing: Jinyoungxmasc!reader (with a vag tho)

Words: 3.1 k

Warning: dom!reader, sub!jinyoung, consent being explicitly discussed, implied masturbation, mentions of pornography, implied dacryphilia, weapon play (fake gun), pegging, mentions of butt plugs, jinyoung in a short skirt, dirty talk, overstimulation

Extra Notes: wheewww finally my first got7 request ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ don’t get me wrong, i‘ve been enjoying writing skz chan and changbin smut but i’ve been meaning to write some got7 but i wouldn’t think anyone would read it :( but yay finally i got something. i pray i don’t fuck this up, and i hope this is okay everything you want 😔

photo edit is not mine

——————————————————————————

This is no way representative of the way Got7 act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.

—————————————————————————

You and Jinyoung have an interesting relationship to say the least. Jinyoung is always thought to be that dominant guy who’s always protective of the people whom he cares about, especially towards his partner. While that is true that he is protective and caring, however no one knows who the real Jinyoung Park except you, or at least who he is in your bedroom.

It was no secret that you two are very open about your sexual needs to each other, and it may come to the surprise to anyone to know that a man like Jinyoung is more submissive than anyone would think. But you however didn’t think so.

Prior to meeting him, you may follow what everyone says about Jinyoung, but five months into your relationship with your boyfriend, you were shocked, yet pleased, to see him one day in adorning nothing but a skirt, a butt plug, and a leash, innocently yet seductively telling you to touch him. And ever since then, you’ve been the one Jinyoung looked up to and waiting for to ruin him.

Every sexual encounter with him were exciting and fun, but there was one incident that took the title of the most amazing sexual roleplay you both have took in and neither of you had any sense of regret. Even if you guys would have broken up—knocking on wood—, it’ll probably not top anything but that moment.

~~

”(y/n!)” Jinyoung exclaimed in a sing song-y way as he walked into the apartment door with something hidden behind his back. He spotted you laying onto the couch, legs lazily splayed open as you looked up to the ceiling with half eyes open. It was clear that you were tired and wanted to rest, but Jinyoung didn’t care, “I’ve got something to show you..”

You looked up at him with a furrowed eyebrows, “what is it Jiny—ah!”

You felt wide awake when you saw Jinyoung unexpectedly pulled a gun straight into your face and pretended to shoot by making certain movements and sounds.

“Jinyoung, what the fuck?!” You exclaimed with your eyes popping out your socket with fear, leaning far away from him, only for him to get closer to you. Jinyoung saw the fear in your eyes, which made him laugh at my state. “I’m being for real, put the gun down!” Your heart was rightfully pounding, fearing not only for your life but at Jinyoung’s sickening laugh.

”Oh, relax, big baby, its a fake gun,” Jinyoung said with an eye roll.

You looked at the man on top of you with a baffled expression, he flipped the gun around and shoved it to you, “see, carry it.”

You looked at the gun, then at the man, then back at the silver object with a gulp. You took the gun out of his hand, and to your relief it was indeed fake, with it being very lightweight and looking at it up close. Props to whoever made this gun look really realistic, at least at a distance.

Jinyoung laughed at your relieved expression, “did you really think I’d bring an actual gun?”

You shrugged at him, “I wouldn’t be surprised to be honest,” you jokingly replied to which Jinyoung opens his mouth agape. Now it was your turn to laugh, “I’m joking, baby,” you patted his cheeks and he pouted in response, “you’re fucked up, (y/n).” He says that as he laid on top of you.

There was a moment of silence until you began questioning why he had the toy gun. Jinyoung fidgeted with his fingers, sort of hesitating with the words he wants to say. “Baby?” Your calling for him sounded more dragging rather than a questioning call, as your hold on him got tighter. “I kinda wanted you to use it on me,” He blurted, not baring to look at you, while you looked at him with a confused expression.

He didn’t see you but he can sense your confusion, “I want you to use it on your dumb whore..” and thats where your eyes widened. You knew exactly what he wanted.

You would lie if you said you didn’t have the thought of the idea, but that does not mean that you’re feeling one hundred percent sure about all of this. You both are experimental people, and enjoy trying new things at least one, and pain on both ends goes right up your and Jinyoung’s alley. But you wouldn’t go as far as bringing weapon into this, albeit fake, but still.

You thought of how weak he would look over you though, how he tries so hard to fight back but it fails miserably and pathetically. You easily find yourself slowly warming up but then caught yourself as you uncertainty was still in habiting your consciousness.

Your ears met with his gentle voice with him saying, “baby, if you don’t want to do this, I understand,“ Jinyoung held onto your arm in comfort.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just what if I’m gonna hurt you with the gun?” You held Jinyoung, which endearingly smiled at you. He admires how no matter how hard you go on him, he still can see how you’re very loving and caring towards him. The last thing you wanted to do is to harm your baby Jinyoung.

”baby, you won’t hurt me, you’ve held the gun. It’s fake and it won’t do anything,” Jinyoung rubbed your arms, reassuringly, “besides, we have a safe word, and if you did anything uncomfortable, I’ll just say the word.” You looked back at his eyes. His eyes were entrancing to you, its a contrasting blend of assertiveness, plead and child-like. You have no idea how can one have the capability to withhold such power like this, but knowing Jinyoung, you can see how it works.

You smiled back at him with a gentle caress in the cheek, “I’ll think about it.”

~~

You’ve given yourself sometime to think about it. Jinyoung made it absolutely clear that he won’t do anything that would make you uncomfortable. For a typical submissive person, he still values your comfort, but that is regardless whether he is submissive or dominant, verbal and emotional consent holds a great value in your relationship.

You’ve scrolled through the internet and went on certain adult website to see what got Jinyoung that excited about all this. You did see the hype, but you were still unsure about it, so you just wanted to give sometime where the ice of uncertainty is melted.

While browsing, you saw a distinctive video. The thumbnail caught your eye, as it had a pretty boy in a pink skirt laid on the bed with his leg spread and what looks to be someone pegging him. The video was of the type you’ve looked it up but it was different because it seems to be more of a point of view type of video.

Your mouse hovered over the thumbnail, almost clicking it. You turned to check if Jinyoung was still in the house. It’s not that he cared about you watching porn, he knows that no amount of videos will match up with you taking him on the spot. But you didn’t want him to see you researching, as you wanted to surprise him in case you enjoyed it.

You’ve not seen his presence and you decided to text him, to make sure if everything’s clear and that he’s not close to your proximity whatsoever.

(y/n): hey babe !!

(y/n): where are you ??

Jinyoung immediately saw your message. The bubble and dots of his began showing up until his message was sent.

Baby boy <3: heyy !!

Baby boy <3: oh i’m hanging out with Jaebeom rn i’m also gonna spend the night at his place if thats not a problem with you :)

Baby boy <3: y ??? u need anything ??

you sighed with relief to not only see him respond back, but also that he won’t come back later. Never would you have thought to say this, considering that you’re overtly obsessed with the man.

(y/n): no !! i was just checking up on u !!

(y/n): its fine by me :)) have fun and tell jaebeom i said hi

Baby boy <3: will do ^_^ see you tomorrow baby

Baby boy <3: i’ll miss you <3333

(y/n): i miss you too darling xx

Once the coast was clear, you’ve turned off your phone, turned back to your computer screen and turned on the video.

The video startes off with the boy, who eerily reminded you so much of your boyfriend with his mannerisms and body type, calling out to the presumed viewer. He only wore a skirt, a choker, and what looks to be a jeweled butt plug. To say that the scenery wasn’t a turn on would an absolute lie. You almost moaned at the scenery as you‘ve suddenly started to see, instead of the actor‘s face, Jinyoung.

His pleading eyes were captivating you as you felt yourself getting wet at the way the man is looking at you. Suddenly a pink gun was put into the face of the boy and hearing him yelp in fear did something to you. You felt your organ began twitching at the way the boy looked up to the gun. Seeing how the gun was shoved into his mouth as he began making lewd movements and noises while getting his pretty dick stroked, it did all wonders for you.

You felt your hands going down your pants as you carried on watching the video. This may have awakened something in you, and you can’t wait to showcase to Jinyoung when he gets back.

~~

You sat back in your couch waiting for Jinyoung. It was the next day, and you didn't have much to plan, but you decided to keep the fake gun near you for the sake of your role. It was almost nighttime and the clock kept ticking as you anticpated your boyfriend's arrival.

Jinyoung didn't know about the whole ordeal, he probably thought that you were gonna be out running errands, hanging out with your friends, or even just sleep. But what he won't expect is you sitting on the couch, lust blown in your whole system and hiding the gun he brought in. He never would have thought to see you with it, up until this moment.

While you wait for him to show up, you scrolled through your phone, mindlessly liking any posts that comes in your way. You didn't care on whatever is on your screen, all you wanted was Jinyoung bending over, ready for you. You smirked at the dirty thought, until you heard keys clashing against each other then one inserted into the locked door. In comes the prettiest boy you have ever laid your eyes on, he came in with a bag in his shoulder and adorned a baggy pink sweatshirt and skinny jeans. He smiled when he saw you on the couch, waiting for him.

Normally you would feel soft and warm over his appearance, however the sinister thoughts inhabiting you was clouding every other thought. Jinyoung extended his arm up to stretch after putting down his bag, as he came in and sat down next to you, eventually attacking with kisses as a greeting. Typically, you would laugh at his typically private yet adorable affections, but you could only look at him with semi blank stare.

He noticed the stare in your face, his face shifted into a worried frown, “whats wrong? you’ve been acting weird since yesterday.” You looked at Jinyoung with your hands in his face. You couldn’t help but smile at the clueless boy in front of you, “Jinyoung, have I ever mentioned you’re gorgeous?”

Jinyoung’s confusion starts to get even bigger as his eyebrows furrowed. Not knowing what to say, he just went along with, “yeah?” It was clear evident confusion and you weren’t dumb. You knew he‘d be confused, thats the point, you want him to be clueless and confused about the whole ordeal.

“What if I told you that you’re all I think about?” You whispered, as you began caressing his face. His face was still grimacing in confusion, however he would lie if he said that the thought of you thinking about him nonstop makes him feel good and excited. “I love you so much…”

“(y/n), cut the bullshit, whats goin—” Jinyoung has had enough with your suspicious act and decided to confront you, up until he felt something on his jaw, which he ended up cutting his words with a gasp. It felt something cold against his pulse, his eyes were dragged to the source only to see something he wasn’t expected to see, yet is pleased. It was the toy gun he handed to you. His mouth was open agape, and you said, “I thought much through about it, and I decided why not,” you had a loving and evil smirk on your face, and he simply just smiled back at you, “and besides,” you leaned closer to his ear.

”The thought of you begging for mercy does things to me, you do not understand your powers you have on me, Park Jinyoung,” Jinyoung shuddered at you whispering out his full name at him. He could already feel himself getting hard at your words, and the thought of the gun digging into his skin makes the process faster. You knew that he was getting aroused without you looking down at his crouch, so you opted to use your other hand and held his member, to which he let out a closed mouth moan.

“You know what to do..” you said after pulling your face out of his ear and staring straight into his face. He looked like a puppy with his eyes innocently sparkling at you. You slapped his thigh to get up to do what he’s doing, which you took him out of his trance, nodded at you and got up.

“I’ll give you five minutes,” you said loud enough where he can still hear as he walks, more like wobbling, into your shared bedroom, while you smirked at his adorable weak state. You looked at the gun and you knew were gonna have fun with your boy toy.

~~ Five minutes have passed, and you decided to walk into the bedroom where Jinyoung is at at a painfully slow pace. You felt like a lion going after a deer, ready to devour it on the spot, with Jinyoung being the deer in this situation. You dragged the gun against the wall as you got closer to your bedroom. You can already sense Jinyoung getting weaker and weaker without even looking at him. You hear heavy breathing coming from out of your bedroom, and you felt your lust is started to mix fury with it as you knew exactly what he was doing.

However you kept your composure and still have the smirk drawn into your face. You reached the door, and you opened the door to see a sight that both angered and aroused you. Jinyoung was dressed in a pink short skirt and a crop top along side with thigh highs, his whole cock was out as he was stroking himself as he was looking at himself in the mirror. Still in his lust world, he didn’t notice your presence up until you spoke.

“Who told you you can touch yourself?” You questioned with a crossed arm and a lean into the door sill. Jinyoung gasped his eyes wide open, his hand stopped stroking as he was looking at you with pleading eyes, “I-I’m sorry,” he gulped as you got closer to him, looking at him with a scowl. Despite him being slightly taller by a few centimeters, he still looks and feels smaller than you, especially at this moment.

“I couldn’t help it, I j-j—“ You cut his pathetic talk by putting the gun into his cheek. His mouth was wide shut as he fearfully looked at the gun then back at you. You glided the gun across the face as his breath hitches, you stopped the gun at his mouth. “Open your mouth,” you growled at him, which he didn’t respond at first as he was too aroused to function. You shoved the weapon not too harsh that it could hurt him, but not too light, to wake him up to, which he just moaned.

”I didn’t even touch you, and yet you’re already fucked up,” you commented as you tugged his bottom lip with the gun making him whimper. You tapped his face and commanded again, “open.”

This time he complied and he stuck his tongue out, you lightly inserted the weapon into his mouth as he wrapped his mouth around it.

To say that the scenery was pornographic was an understatement. A man in his short skirt down on his knees sucking on a weapon as his superior is tugging on his hair, it was hot to look at, you and Jinyoung would agree. It was typical that Jinyoung is going dumb just for you, he’s willing to drop everything just to satisfy your needs. He loves you too much. And to see you enjoying his idea makes him feel really good.

~~~ ”Thats what you fucking get for being a dumb slut,” You thrusted your strap on onto your pretty boy’s hole as he grips into the sheets underneath him. His legs placed on your shoulder while your hips were moving in and out of him.

“I-I-I’m s-sorry! I’m not gonna do it again!” Jinyoung was a mess under you, he’s practically crying as he feels his hole getting stretched with pleasure. Tears rolling down his face as he feels his orgasm get closer. You can see that based on his face twist that he was getting closer so you stopped thrusting for the nth time, which caused him to whine and sob louder.

“Bad sluts like you don’t deserve to cum,” You leaned over, his leg still on your shoulder and squished his cheeks. His nose was tinted pink due to blissed out cry and the amount of times you’d edge him, and the fact you still resisted giving him what he want made him blush even more. You both love it, especially Jinyoung, who may love this more than you do. He loves getting edged and getting all this punishment. He was a walking masochist, and because he is what he is, you ended up loving it and use it for your advantage.

Despite his “apologies,” he always misbehaves just so he can get punished by his superior. He is a brat in disguise, and you love it. You love giving him the punishment that he ever so deserves, as much as you love degrading him and you absolutely love seeing him being at your mercy.

He simply looked up at you with teary eyes and says softly, “I’m a bad slut, but I’m your bad slut,” to which you smirked back at his claim.

Your Bad Slut. That’s exactly what he is.

[bixqueen]

so thanks to hboMAX my pretty little liars obsession has started up again and when i watched pll the first time all the way thru (yes sadly it’s been more than once i have a life but also don’t) my favorite character was alison. as i’ve watched it more it changed (emily or spencer is prob my fav now) but going through tumblr, instagram, and even pinterest, i feel alison gets too much shit/hate from the fandom. so here i am, making a justification for her. if you really don’t want to see my side or pov then just keep scrolling because i don’t really want to see negativity in the comments (unless you’ll actually say something, a rebuttal?)

so let’s start off with alison being a small child and her household/family. we know how her parents would manipulate her and tell her lying is better than telling the truth. she’s had these really bad influences on her at such a young age (with secrets overflowing her house) and when you continue to have these influences on you as you’re mind is maturing, of course you’re going to eventually go through with them. now yes i know the other girls also had lying parents but were any of them as bad as alisons? i mean some things spencer’s parents kept and arias but they were also older at that point (middle of high school and up). i’m not saying it’s okay but they knew at that point in their life what’s wrong and right and for the most part they had been raised to not lie. alison wasn’t. eventually her lies caught up to her as well so even though she learned the hard way to tell the truth, she eventually did.

now we’re getting into the high school stage where there were MANY points as to why she would’ve ran away. if the writers wanted a better redemption arc for her i feel they would’ve shown her a little more broken in some scenes and such but anyways. freshman year isn’t absolute hell but it’s not fun either. having the mindset of making sure you’re not the one who will get hurt obviously forces you to have this wall and makes you a lot more mean than you really are. (i really feel this was a wasted potential by the writers not going more in depth about her mental pain but shit they didn’t do it with anyone tbh). her whole life kinda had build ups to her being so secretive and closed away (again if the writers went into more depth on this we would’ve seen maybe some trauma that causes her to be closed off and push everyone away. not wanting to show weaknesses) from everyone so it definitely wasn’t hard for her to find that bitchier side and let it off on everyone, not that it’s right, it just made her feel safe and protected. a main factor of this was probably being closeted. i myself am a bisexual girl so i know how it feels to question yourself the way she most likely did. it’s scary. really fucking scary. because you don’t know if there’s something wrong with you at first or if it’s just a stage and you’ll most likely pass it. it’s why i believe her relationship with emily was why she had no big deal leaving rosewood. yes we know she was being tormented by A before the girls were and she wanted to leave so she could be safe. but even with that there would need to be some other factors that kicked in to her actually leaving. A in the beginning for JUST alison was kinda like a bully right? i mean a little more extreme than that but it wasn’t as bad as it was when it started hitting with the other 4 girls. so if alison THE alison dilaurentis was being bullied by someone too scared to show who they really are, wouldn’t she just laugh some of it off? alison WANTED to leave before mona gave her the option. she was scared. and not just of A, but of who she was. and who she loves.

if we’re looking at what alison does for emily versus the other girls while they’re being tormented by A, you can tell she cares for her more. she saved emily more than anyone else. she said leaving emily was the hardest part of it all. because alison was in love with emily, just like emily was in love with her back. obviously running away and faking your death isn’t the best option for having internal panics, some people just don’t know how to manage it. especially being the bold person everyone sees and talks about. imagine seeing her walk out of some therapy session teary-eyed. she’d feel so weak in that moment, so vulnerable. isn’t that one of her biggest fears? people seeing she’s not as strong as she comes off to be and they can use that against her. her fear for being vulnerable also brings me to her being SO scared coming back to school after faking her death. ali, the queen bee, is terrified. this kinda brings to me childhood pain (personally this is why i thought of it lol rip). maybe her family thought showing emotions was weakness you know? and when you open up they kinda laugh at you and they’re like “you think you’re life is hard?? you’re a kid.” (i’m sure i’m not the only person who’s heard this mf bullshit bedore). where i’m going with that though, is it could’ve been placed in her head at a very young age (also this is so dehumanizing and traumatic damn but it makes sense) that you have to shut out all feelings and emotions. it really makes people numb and being emotionally numb as a child and teen is dangerous for brain growth and development. makes sense why it took her forever to feel safe and okay opening up to emily about her feelings and showing emotions around the girls. when you’re seen as this “bitch” who doesn’t make down from a fight, it forces you to turn emotionless.

so the way she acted out the night she went missing and her freshman year wasn’t ideal and it really wasn’t okay. but the audience never saw what she was going through mentally, hell even after that. we see it a little when she comes back and talks about the night she went missing. imagine your own mother burrying you alive. god the trauma that must STILL have on her. being under pounds of dirts, unable to move or talk. your own mother doing this to you to save someone else. i’m not trying to put it as she’s only been through things and no one else has cus of course that’s not the case. i just think people often dismiss her pain and trauma and just say “she’s a bad person and deserves the shit she’s been through.”

i’d also like to add her type of crowd she was around wasn’t the best sort of people. imagining being a freshman and hanging out with college kids who would throw some girl down a flight of stairs. i feel like that also had an impact on her mental health and what she believed was okay to an extent because i mean verbally bullying isn’t okay but at least sis never pushed someone down the stairs 😭 (worst thing she did is definitely blinding jenna. i really don’t know how to defend her actions for that one. you could say she didn’t know anyone was in there? or that she didn’t know she had- it was a firework right?)

last point i can think of: paige vs alison. of course i have to add this lol but my main point with this is both girls were mean to each other. did alison start it by calling her names and such? most definitely. do i think paige should’ve retaliated? to an extent. but she went as far as teaming up with others to have alison go to jail for a crime she didn’t commit. their revival wasn’t just one sided and again i think people often forget that. they’re continuously like going against each other at every chance they got. it was funny but also got annoying. ali would shit talk to paiges face then paige would go whine and cry about it to emily to turn emily on her side. i mean did we forget paige manipulated emily against alison? (yes ik alison was the manipulation queen when she was younger). really what i’m going with this is that they’re more alike than they’ll admit to an extent. me personally, i like alison and emison more. i never really liked paily but paige grew less annoying in later seasons. but when comparing them, i believe paige had more damage on emily than alison did. even when alison was ‘dead’ she still saved emily’s life at times (including the other 3 girls) and did things to protect them. i don’t remember paige saving emily just trying drowning her because she was a little jealous. another thing i know someone will try to bring up about them is how “alison was never happy for emily” well shit bro neither was paige 😭 i’m on season 7 right now and there were some times paige took a liking into stalking emily while she was dating that girl who worked in the cafe (sorry i can’t remember her name rn). and when emily talked about being with that girl she was kinda like 😐 k. alison is the type to speak or show her mind while paige seems to keep to herself then shit talk others behind their back. both qualities aren’t exactly the best so both ‘sides’ can go against each other for years on this. they’re just more alike than people realize.

anyways, there’s that. if you have any opinions (WHERE YOU’LL ACTUALLY ARGUE SOMETHING AND NOT JUST SHIT TALK ME!!) feel free to leave a reply. and if i left out something you want me to add in i will :) have a good day <3

[childishfluff]

(im gonna be sending a few seperate asks since theyre seperate thoughts/ideas, sorry for any sort of inbox spam!!) ur pet regressor tommy fic led me into a whole wormhole of many different ideas.. esp abt who else is a pet regressor!!

- wilbur (cat regressor!! also very relaxed, he *will* just sleep on phil or techno's lap for hours on end. mostly nonverbal, but will meow every now nd again. mostly communicates through actions. he can purr. doesn't drop often, but when he does, it's due to extreme stress- meaning he can be pretty sensitive while he's in catspace.)

- tubbo (puppy regressor, but definitely more of a relaxed dog aside from the amnt he communicates, especially through barking, whimpering, and soft "awooo!!"'s. loves snuggles. sometimes, he's scared to come of as annoying, so he's hesitant to slip into pupspace, normally needing someone to help him along and tell him that it's ok for him to be a puppy, nd that he's a very very good boy.)

- karl (kitten regressor!!!! he's either really sleepy or really playful/energetic, and he has no in between on that. he meows.. so much.. all he kno is meow meow!! *very* sensitive while dropped, and as such, he needs a lot of validation and love. will get extremely upset with himself if he notices that anyone is even *slightly* mad/irritated by him.)

- nick (sapnap) (PUPPY REGRESSOR 100000%!!! he's very very loud and extremely playful!!! he can be entertained for *hours* w literally anything, especially toys like chew bones. doesn't really drop too often, but when he does, he drops very very far. something that can trigger his drops is when people compare his traits/actions to those of a dog because he just goes yes!! yes me!!!! dog!!! me!!!! also he loves karl *so* much because karl absolutely spoils him rotten when he's in pupspace.)

- ranboo (kitty regressor!! similar to karl, he can be really sensitive while he's dropped. entirely nonverbal, opting for actions instead. he's a mix of both playful and sleepy. when he sleeps, he curls his entire body up into a circle nd kneads at whatever he's sleeping on until he falls asleep.)

- dream (cat regressor!! sleeps a lot when he's dropped, hes just vv tired. mimics patches, and loves to follow her around/act like she does. even bases his catgear around patches, with tabby-colored cat ears and an outfit based off of similar colors. drops very easily, mostly voluntarily.)

those r the ones i can think of now.. id love to know ypur opinions/interpretations of them!! -🌻

OKAY I’M GONNA GO THROUGH THESE ONE BY ONE, AND SHARE MY THOUGHTS+OTHER POSSIBLE HCS/FIC SCENARIOS, SO LONG POST WARNING Y’ALL

1. Cat Regressor! Wilbur

yes yes yes, I wouldn’t of thought of it myself but the idea is absolutely adorable! I’d totally write that, with like handler/cg!niki in addition to those you listed. And the idea of him using it for stress and therefore being sensitive in catspace? like, that’s amazing. 

I could imagine a fic where someone pushes him to regress for fun for once, but he feels like it’s stupid to purposely act like a cat when he doesn’t need it? They don’t pressure him, or anything, but he ends up slipping because he feels safe. and he realizes not only does it help with stress, but it just makes him more happy!

also imagine him slipping around tommy for whatever reason, and just wanting to sleep while Tommy’s trying to do something fun. So he’s dragging around a sleepy kitten and waking him up every two seconds, and it’s really soft and adorable and ends up with Wilbur sleeping somewhat on Tommy so that he can’t get up and he’s like ‘you’re so lucky I love you, dude.’ awww I need to write a fic- no promises but y’know

2.Puppy Regressor!Tubbo

someone actually requested a puppy regressors!tubbo and tommy fic that I’m having trouble writing, like it sounds cute but it’s kinda hard bc I’ve never written puppyspace before. I actually decided to start over but I’ma keep trying on that. 

anyways, imagine like, Ranboo or Tommy helping him slip over a discord call! Needing help to regress is something that I understand (I age regress, but I haven’t in a while due to this issue), so I could probably write Tubbo in that position well. Needing to be coaxed and told that it’s okay to be a cute lil puppy, like that’s adorable! 

3. Kitten Regressor!Karl

tbh I tried to write kitten!karl but I was half asleep and gave up, I need to get back to that hjsiksja. Like I specialize in writing sensitive regressors w/anxiety over someone being mad at them, so I could definitely pull this off. 

and the idea of him being a talkative kitty is sooo cute! Like I can imagine something along the lines of this conversation between him and a handler/cg:

“What do you want?”

“Meowww”

“I don’t know what that means!”

“Meow?” (little head tilt and innocent cute eyes)

“Do you want cuddles?”

*excited meows! and he goes and cuddles up in their lap bc yay, they understood him!*

and imagine kitten!karl playing w/Quackity! very very adorable concept

4. Puppy Regressor! Sapnap

okay okay so I don’t watch sapnap really but this is still adorable! Like the whole ‘me, puppy? yes.’ thing is soooo cute! Imagine George or Dream just forgetting that’s a trigger and making a joke about how one of his mannerisms reminds them of a puppy and suddenly! There’s a puppy to take care of!

and karl spoiling him sounds like something he’d do hjsiksjsa. I can’t really add much on here bc idk much about him/his content past the smp but this is so cute! Maybe I’ll watch a few of his videos and attempt writing him bc I keep getting requests for him

5. Kitten Regressor! Ranboo

yes, I was already thinking about this tbh! Like I’ve written him as a little and it’s kinda similar, he’s sensitive, and he’s less verbal the littler he gets. As a kitten, I can easily picture him just being quiet. 

I imagine that he’s really pouty because of this, because he doesn’t know how to communicate otherwise, so this might confuse anyone who may take care of him. 

“Why are you pouting? Do you want cuddles? Food? Do you wanna play?” 

and he just doesn’t reply bc he’s a kitten and he can’t talk so it’s an endless cycle of guess and check until they reach the right answer, and it’s really funny to watch. I can also imagine that he giggles a lot. Like he’s not verbal or anything, and he doesn’t giggle a lot but sometimes it happens! and if you make him giggle while in kittenspace then you did something right!

it makes everyone happy when he giggles and it’s really soft and cute! I definitely think I’ll write a fic with kitten!ranboo in it, at some point eventually, I think! 

6. Cat Regressor! Dream

awwwww- I didn’t even consider the possibility of this but awwww. Imagine Wilbur and Dream in catspace together, just sleeping and cuddling while basically all the other kittens are playing and being hyper. And everyone’s trying to get them to play but they’re sleepy! (ofc they end up playing anyways bc their friends are adorable and convincing but y’know)

and I really like the idea of him mimicking patches! I’ve seen a few pet regresors say that they mimick/copy their pets so it kinda feels realistic and likely! and plus, it’s really cute. 

and since his regression is voluntary, I can imagine him like one minute, just chillin w/george and sapnap and going ‘what if- what if I just went *cat mode*’ and he tries to hint to his friends that he wants to slip but they’re not getting it so it’s kinda frustrating for him but funny for the readers to see play out bc George and Sapnap are being completely oblivious to everything. Hjsiksja that’d be funny

Thank you for sending this it, like seriously! It was really fun to go through and talk about these, I might make additional headcannon lists once I’m actually awake tomorrow bc I shouldn’t be up rn but yeah, I just wanted to go through and respond to this! <3

[mik0bastard]

31 and 53

Sorry it took me so long to get to this, exam season is killing me

53. What dirty talk actually turns you on? Is there anything that makes you cringe?

Great question this might be a long one. Growing up, a lot of my sexual education/exploration came in the form of erotica and audioporn rather than visual stimuli, so I love the verbal aspect of sex. To me, the person who's talking is the person in control, so when I'm in a more submissive role I like when a person can hold the space on their own and put me in a position when I don't have to be so verbal. I'm into degradation, I like being condescended and stuff idk, honestly I think as long as the other person doesn't sound like they're trying too hard, or mentally drawing from a word bank of shit everyone's already said before I'll probably enjoy myself. Because yeah, "you little slut" is fine I guess, but if it doesn't sound like something you would say and if the delivery feels like it's something you just heard in a porno, it's an instant turn off for me. Switch it up, give me something personal. To be fair though I'm aware other people are at a disadvantage because of how well Martin knows me and our pack of boundaries. Plus he could say literally anything about the fact that we're siblings and it puts me over edge 😭 he's also a really creative person and has no problem fully commiting to saying whatever pops into his head while we're going at it, which I love.

Also this is worth noting because I have no idea the next time I'll be able to talk about this, but holy shit I was listening to an audio once, and normally I don't like listening to people just jerk off, but by the end of it the guy was just rambling all this super desperate, degrading shit and it was disjointed nonsense honestly, "I hate you, I just want you to need me like I need you, I want you to hate this more than I do... just be good why can't you be fucking good you stupid fucking cunt just be what you were supposed to, just be my cunt... I wanna beat you, I wanna dig my nails into your flesh and leave marks that never go away. I wanna put cigarettes out on your tongue, I really do, fucking hate cigarettes and I still want to. I'll make you smoke just for the occasion just to hear you cough." Like it's so, specific and desperate and personal to him that it really had an impact on me.

Sorry that was really long and probably doesn't make a lot of sense? But I just have so much to say and zero desire to organize my thoughts rn 😭 I love the question though

31. What’s the best orgasm you’ve had in the past few months?

This is honestly kind of difficult for 2 reasons:

1. I nut a lot, like multiple times a day so they kinda blur together

2. when I use a vibe I tend to give myself ruined Os instead of fully going through with it and I have absolutely zero clue why. I don't get off on the idea of ruins for myself (I do like ruined Os for men though), I think it just gets so intense toward climax that I turn the vibe setting down and end up not reaching peak. There's probably also an element of me wanting the actual masturbation to last longer because idk I like the build up more than the O

But if I had to pick a strongest one, Martin fucked me while I used my vibe and that shit had me TWITCHING. It was a little cumbersome to use the vibe because I have an air pump one rather than a traditional vibrator, so we don't do this that often, but it's so good.

[hebescus]

remember this ship ask? yeah, i wanna do them all with lawlight bcs they control my brain. but it's a happy no death note au bcs it's me. oh and this shit is long plus it's 3 am rn so my words are very messy. but enjoy.

(i skip some numbers that i answered and the ones that i can't think of btw)

pre relationship :

How did they first meet?

L's investigation hq. he was a suspect of L, still, but this time he told soichiro to bring this 18 yo boy to the hq to test him, asking light to work with all of them. he ends up not guilty ofc, but L still wants to keep him…around.

What was their first impression of each other?

ah, the good old 'what the fuck dude???' from light and the 'oooh he got a big brain' from L. it's hard to get out of canon in this one.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

L. But it's more like thoughts, rather than feelings. It's just these random thoughts that pop out in his head like 'i don't mind kissing this guy, if he asks' but not like 'i want to kiss him' yknow what i mean? idk this is just something i experience a lot lmao. it develops to feelings once light falls for him and L can see that. So in terms of ideas, it's L, but in terms of feelings, it's Light.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Oh our favorite light denial yagami. Of course he's cursing himself for having feelings like this but once L calls it out he's over. 

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Light would laugh it off, and be like "i don't like him that way you know". L would shrugs be like "well yes that's possible, i don't think i mind". 

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

boring, lonely, empty, you name it

(more under the cut)

general :

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

hmm, they both initiated the relationship? ykwim? They both notices they had feelings for each other and just...go from there. they never have like a relationship talk, they just go with the flow until at some point they starts to get comfortable to refer the other as partners. They basically can read each other's mind, after all.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Yes, sort of. A tennis game! And a coffee sesh after, just like canon. They plan this to be just "let's just relax, this case has been really exhausting, take a one day break, L" but when Light got home, sayu asked "how's the date going?!" He immediately said "it's not a date, you watch too many dramas it's rotting your brain" And sachiko gave him a smile while shaking her head at this statement and when he's back to his room he immediately calls L and was like "hey does that count as a date?" and L answers with "depends, do you want it to be?" with a smirk that light can hear.

What was their first kiss like?

it was late at night, light was helping L with the case when everybody went home. they were sharing their view about this certain criminal when light notices L staring at his lips, first he ignored it but it happens again and again to a point where their face just got real close and then...kiss, somehow. idk lmao.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

First person who can understand each other and are equals, the only ones who can tear the other's wall down, and just practically soulmates in any form that even their sun & moon signs mirroring each other's? YES. 

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

i hc L as just a little bit taller than light, but it's not like you can see it through the hunch anyway. ofc we all know the 6 years and 4 months age gap

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Sayu likes L, Sachiko is kinda surprise Light doesn't date a typical pretty person, but it only makes her heart fonder. L doesn't mind them, he thinks they're nice, light grew up in a good place. Soichiro? Well, he might me a bit reluctant but he loosen up slowly, his son is happier than he ever was, after all.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Light, obviously. Because he's a charmer and if L takes control, the person they speak to would run immediately the first 2 minutes.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

it is a universal knowledge that L does this. like, come on, count the fics, you can't, there's just so many. he loves to break that perfect wall and make light feel 🥴😳. it's entertaining. But he knows when to stop. too much of that will be embarrassing in light's part, and he respects his boy's dignity.

love :

Who said “I love you” first?

Light!! The thing is it was said over the phone. He gets more and more comfortable talking with L through calls, since every now and then L travel frok countries to countries. One time he just like "yeah, safe flight. love you, bye" he expected L to say goodnight to him as a response as usual but L was silent and he realised what he just said and realised that he fucking mean it. L seems to still be able to read his mind even thousands miles away so he replies with "i love you too, goodnight". they never missed seeing each other more than that night.

What are their primary love languages?

we had a discussion for this! but as we see in canon, they're both very acts of service with a little hint of physical touch here and there. quality time is also important. words and gift aren't really needed for them.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

L. Only to annoy light. It's terrible that he almost cringed to himself, but it does bring a good laugh for light.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

PDA is a not their preference, they just love being in private more. They might hold hands sometimes, butmost times they won't. Altho they always stand or sit reaaaaally glued to each other even though there are so many space. 

Who initiates kisses?

both. they want it, they got it. but light gives light kisses (ha) more, not necessarily on the lips, usually when L was really busy working, keeping his feet on the ground.

Who’s the big and little spoon?

They don't spoon a lot, they prefer not touching at all or cufdling face to face, but when they do, Light is the little spoon because being a big spoon makes his sleeping position kinda uncomfy, he feels awkward with his legs, it's just not. thankfully L thinks cuddling light this way is very calming.

What are their favorite things to do together?

Tennis and solving cases, duh. Or sometimes they play video games fighting each other. Anything competitive and/or challenging that make their brain grow 10 times bigger. But sometimes, a comfortingly peaceful and quiet dinner with hushed words thrown here and there about random things feels like the best thing ever.

Who’s more protective?

L. For identity reasons, ofc.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical. They can read each other's mind, they knew it by gesture, touches, and glances. 

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE. venus by sleeping at last fits them so well, that song is in the background of multiple cozy couch smooches sessions or even when they're slow dancing (please listen to this tho song it's so good). also i think they would like persephone by the tragic thrills too, L would be like "this song reminds me of you" and Light answers with "i'm persephone?" "Yeah" "i'm a fucking badass then" "yes you are". oh and first day of my life? lover of mine? pink in the night? sweet creature? the lakes? oh god i have too much answers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they don't do nicknames, really. although, L sometimes called light with some snarky tony stark styled nicknames when he feels particularly playful but annoyed at the same time.

Who remembers the little things?

They both do. Big brained assholes they are.

domestic life :

If they get married, who proposes?

It's not really a proposal, they didn't  even remember who said it first. But one sleepy night after a hard case, someone said "hey you wanna get married" and the other was like "sure, why not" "really?" "yeah, i think i'm ready, you?" "me too" "great" and then they go to sleep. at breakfast the next morning L called watari from across the room and said "wammy i need you to prepare [enter marriage stuff here], and light, you must call your family after this". poor old watari chokes on his tea.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

The wedding is in a secluded little place near the wammy's house, L used to go there a lot as a kid. With just light's parents, sayu, and watari. Well, not until Light caught Mello, Matt, Near, and Linda peeping from the bushes

Do they have any pets?

A chunky cat the wammy's kids feed daily but never try to keep them in, because no animals are allowed inside the orphanage. L saw it and was like "light let's bring this bitch home" she is, indeed a little bitch, but light and L loves her dearly. her fur has light brown and black colors, like both of their hairs, so she becomes their daughter, L gave him a weird ass name but i can't think about it rn.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Light because he's the one who's actually bothers to. They ofc annoyed L but he cpuldnt care less to actually get rid of them.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

L. He rarely sleeps and once he did, he wakes up very fucking late and will pull light back to the bed if he's woken up by the empty space beside him.

Who’s the better cook?

Light. L is a spoiled brat. But Light can't bale for shit, that's Watari's job. Light grow up learning and helping his mom making meals for the family. He's not the best, but it's good enough to make L craves them in between his sweets.

Who likes to dance?

None of them. But they would slow dance on rare, sentimental occasions. And it's like so fucking romantic bcs all the lights are off except for a candle or a table lamp or a cabinet lamp whatever that has yellow-y dim light. And they don't speak, they just casually move against each other, but heart ready to combust like i do when i the mental image came into my head.

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

Mammon and MC for that recent send me a ship

I don't know why I even expected a different ship😂😂😂

1.) Gives nose/forehead kisses

MC does!! They know Mammon needs a lot of reassurance physical affection and he always blushes so prettily when they do it. It's a win-win situation. Mammon wants to give nose/forehead kisses too but gets too shy before he goes through with it. If he does manage to work up the courage it'd be really abrupt and seemingly spontaneous (he's actually been zoned out the whole time thinking about kissing them) and then he's immediately running off, blushing and yelling about being "a busy demon who has important work to do"

2.) Gets jealous the most

.................................... :|

3.) Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive

MC does the picking up cause they can't technically get drunk and Mammon's the one who's usually out gambling and/or drinking (isn't it canon that Mammon's 'shy blushing virgin' act only started after MC arrived? I think Asmo mentions something like that twice? Not in those words obviously but)

4.) Takes care of on sick days

Both!

MC's actually pretty level headed during Mammon's sick/hurt days. They give him the needed medicine/treatment, make sure he's hydrated and fed and resting in bed and spends the rest of the day cuddled with him because he gets super needy and clingy when he's sick.

Mammon is a MESS whenever MC is sick. Is his human dying! Are they in pain! Fuckfuckfuck. Bursts into MC's room with his arms full of medicine, blankets, warm soup, water bottles, pillows, and anime he stole borrowed from Levi. Absolutely doting while also denying that he cares, at full volume. Hysterically searches human care sites on his D.D.D. while MC sleeps

5.) Drags the other person out into the water on beach day

I mean solmare pretty much answered this; Mammon! If MC isn't fast enough he will scoop them up and toss them in

6.) Gives unprompted massages

Neither. Unprompted massages don't work with either of them. MC tries at first. They are much less shy with their emotions than Mammon is (though I think the game has also told us that MC keeps their emotions pretty close to their chest? Lucifer mentioned it once) but Mammon freaks out and squirms so much all they get is a near miss of his elbow to their face. From all the brothers the game's shown that Mammon's probably the least likely to touch MC without any verbal consent and even then he usually waits for MC to make the first move so yeah unprompted massages don't work. However, when Lucifer's punishments get too much or when Mammon is reliving the war MC may sometimes massage him depending on if he's in a mood to be touched. This works vice versa too when MC relives/remembers the pain of being killed (because according to Grisella that's something you never forget)

7.) Drives/rides shotgun

During the rare times they actually use a car Mammon drives. They both scream along to songs on the radio

8.) Brings the other lunch at work

Mammon. The only actual job Mammon has is as a model and he'd always rather grab like a cereal bar to eat between shoots rather than deal with the hassle of actual food. Mammon (who once in a panic spent a whole night reading through articles on how much water/food/sleep a human needs) is much more likely to bring MC food while they work/study. Usually it's just cup noodles though, but it's the thought that counts.

9.) Has the better parental relationship

...as in who gets on with their parents the best? (I'm gonna take it as that cause there's a kid ask further down) Bruh...Mammon's dad straight up kicked him down the stairs and outta the house & (in my HC) MC doesn't have any living relatives. The closest thing either of them has to a parent is Lucifer... Despite how different they are and how much trouble Mammon gets in with Lucifer and how cruel Lucifer can be towards him we all know they're actually really close and when it comes down to it Mammon knows he can depend on Lucifer to have his back. MC absolutely gets the most terrifying shovel talk of their life once they and Mammon officially start dating. MC's relationship with Lucifer has been pretty up and down because oh he's hot he seems nice what a FUCKINH asshole oh actually he's just an overworked single mom THIS FUCKER TRIED TO KILL ME AGAIN WTF oh wait he's actually only really worried about his family I mean he's not bad actually wait under those 76 hard layers he's kinda soft wait is he in love with me what the hell wait no he's worried because his marriage is rocky rn... DAD!? But once they get over all that they have a pretty stable relationship and an understanding that they are family and will support each other. Mammon also gets a shovel talk.

10.) Tries to start role-playing in bed

Mammon tries. He sees something that he thinks a human is supposed to find sexy and wants to try it out cause he thinks MC will like it. (Takes a while to work up the nerve) but one day he pins MC to the bed, gives them his best sultry look and says in his Dark-Dangerous-Deep-Cool-Mysterious™ voice (that sounds a little too like Lucifer's for his liking) "Hey Baby, have you been naughty? Do you need Daddy to spank you?" MC and Mammon then just stare at each other with a blank face for a while before MC's cackling, rolling on their back, wheezing, choking, while Mammon's keening and trying to suffocate himself with his pillow. After they have both gathered their wits and Mammon has effectively buried his flaming face in MC's neck, MC reassures him he doesn't need to try to be a cool bad boy or whatever else for them to like him and they liked him just fine as he was and anyway they already thought he was cool but if that was something he actually wanted to try because he genuinely wanted to and not just because he thought it's what they wanted then they could try it. He tells them to shut up

11.) Embarrassingly drunk dancer

MC if you actually manage to find something to get them drunk. Look they have a stressful life okay and one way to reduce that stress is to get smashed and dance on a table while (badly) grinding on air. Mammon is surprisingly a good dancer when drunk...sure it's all sexual (see my Drunk HC post) but it's still good. He is, however, a completely embarassing dancer when sober

12.) Still cries watching Titanic

Look we all know who it is... The game told us who it is...I'm not gonna say it again

13.) Firmly believes in couples costumes

Mammon but he tries his best to deny it. He's a hopeless romantic he just doesn't want anyone else knowing about it (they do) so he'll try to play is off as a coincidence. OH! Ya goin' as a witch!? Well I'mma black cat. A young rain drenched Victorian? That's wild bro anyway I'mma a vampire.

14.) Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas

Both! We've actually seen that Mammon does actually buy things for his brothers, work actual jobs to buy things for MC and the two times he thought he came into a large amount of money the first thing he did was text MC asking them what they wanted with the money, before even confirming whether it was a scam or not. So yeah he definitely breaks the rule. MC, who wants to spoil their first man and who always has a large amount of money on them (because of said first man) also breaks the rule

15.) Makes the other eat breakfast

Lucifer. (And Beel) neither of them ever get the chance to miss breakfast because it's, in Lucifer's words, "the most important meal of the day and you have to spend it with your family. Missing it leads to early morning lectures. Also missing a meal means going hungry caue Beel would have eaten it and everything else

16.) Remembers Anniversaries

Both! They are both so smitten there's no world in which either of them would forget

17.) Brings up having kids

Mammon does casually at first. Not their own biological kids but instead his kid. The one with the witches. He doesn't say it in so many words but instead casually mentions how cool it'd be to see them again. On one of those unusual days where he is quieter he says he wants MC to meet her. Later MC's the one who mentions paying off all his debts with the witches (using the money his favourism unconsciously manifests and getting the kid. Obviously they'd have to bring it up to the others first.

[faejime]

love it if we made it.

↳ a song fic of sorts, purely self-indulgent yet again. please listen to Love It If We Made It by the 1975 while reading this, it kinda sets the mood.

↳ summary : iwaizumi is still down under after seijoh loses to karasuno, so you take him away for a while.

ㅡ❀ㅡ

iwaizumi swears that he'll actually pull out some hair at this rate. the third years were messing with the equipment in the gym and playing some sets lazily, their loss against karasuno still heavy on everyone's shoulders.

it's been days, it's been what felt like fucking forever, but iwaizumi just couldn't shake off his guilt.

"loosen up, man," hanamaki reassuringly gives a smack to the ace's back, and the shorter boy can only give a tight lipped smile.

there's a part of him that believes he's being too hard on himself. he knows he tried his best, he knows he worked himself till the very last ounce of energy he had, he knows he moved and ran till the very last muscle in his legs stung.

but there was also a part of him that thinks all of that simply wasn't enough. he should've been faster, he should've gone harder, he should've done better. just the thought of it makes his fingers tremble, his nails digging into the palm of his hand.

ㅡ❀ㅡ

soon the sun sets and for once iwaizumi turns down his friends when they offer to go out for dinner together, his fingers fiddling with his phone in his pocket.

he's never admitted it before, at least not verbally, but you, you were his escape.

hajime was a strong person. he was firm, opinionated, he knew what he wanted and he was capable of getting it. but even the strongest of people broke down sometimes, and when that happens, his heart brings him to you.

hajime❤️: are you free rn?

his heart is pounding, hoping you'd reply or he feels like he might actually scream into the void.

babe💘: ofc, what's up bub

his fingers skim across the screen hastily, briefly explaining to you that he just needs a break, he just needs to see you right now.

you text him back, telling him to meet you at the convenient store, and iwaizumi swears he feels a whole boulder lift off his shoulders.

ㅡ❀ㅡ

he's lost track of time, he doesn't know exactly where he is, all he knows is that you grabbed his hand and now you're laughing with him at the edge of the pier, sitting on a car that wasn't either of yours.

it felt nice. fuck, it felt more than just nice. it felt amazing, it felt so liberating. iwaizumi doesn't recognise the song that's blasting from your phone, what he does recognise was you.

you and your baggy clothes, the ones he knew you threw on in a rush, but the same ones that still made you look so good. you and your hair, your hair that always smelled like fresh laundry, your hair that was softly blown by the wind in the night.

you and your laughter, the sweetest sound that was mixing with the beat of the song. you and your smile, the most angelic and pretty thing he's ever laid his eyes on, the smile that made him feel like he was going to be okay.

he recognised you, the person he believes was an angel sent from heaven just for him, the person that always knew what to say, what to do. you were his person, his escape.

"hey you," your voice snaps him out of his daydream, and when he looks up, he's met with your smile, and again he swears that a butterly just exploded in his stomach.

he shoots you a questioning look, only for you to throw your head back in a laugh, taking a sip from your soda before speaking again.

"you're really cool, you know that?"

suddenly he's confused, he's speechless as you say that with the most serious look on your face.

"i know you're beating yourself up over the game, but you did your part. you gave your 200% and that's all that matters," you smile again, leaning back on the window of the car.

he lays down too, letting out a soft hum. you don't pry more, you don't expect him to respond, and he appreciated that. he appreciated you.

ㅡ❀ㅡ

the silence of the night was broken by the piercing screams of the owner of the car, making the two of you scramble off the hood, running away hand in hand.

by the time you reach the estate area, you're both panting, but with the biggest grins on both your faces. you catch the slight blush on iwaizumi's face, a slight smirk tugging on your own lips.

"thank you, for that." he finally speaks, his voice quieter than usual.

"you don't have to thank me," you hum, nudging him to walk with you back home.

suddenly it's silent again, but it's comfortable, just you and him enjoying each other's company.

his house was closer than yours, so when you reach his doorstep, he lingers around you, his fingers still loosely gripping yours, as if he didn't want you to leave.

"i love you," he whispers, his eyes never leaving yours.

the cool night breeze gently washes over you, your heart filled with the blushing boy in front of you, and him only. he watches as your cheeks lift up in a smile, with a blush matching his dusting over them.

"i love you too," you say, making him sigh contently.

iwaizumi felt guilty. the feeling gripped him to the bones, and he knew he'd be feeling this way for some time. after all, he's spent years dedicating himself to volleyball, and suddenly the journey stopped here.

but he felt relieved. he felt relieved feeling your warm hands in his, knowing that those hands won't ever leave him, knowing that you won't ever leave him, no matter what he was feeling.

ㅡ❀ㅡ

[ this is my first time writing anything longer than the usual timestamped blurb, i apologise if it's all over the place, i really did write this on a whim. ]

- fae 🧚🏻‍♀️

[carnalhaus]

Infodump abt your proxy oc PLEASE

y’all r really abt to make me act up 😳😳😳 watch out ur gonna make me ramble about all my ocs and ur gonna have to sit thru all of it

but fr when people genuinely want to hear about my ocs my heart flutters, like i can’t fathom people actually liking my creations lmao (especially since i’m dramatic and put a piece of myself into each one) so thank u ❤️❤️ i’m not gonna go into everything rn but i will go on and on about random details, so without further ado here’s me infodumping about my proxy oc

her name is recess hill !! yes that’s her real name and it’s on her birth certificate, her first name is recess and her last name is hill (her middle name is genevieve !!)

her “code name” or “proxy name” is tagalong. it started out as a nickname but it just stuck.

she’s about 19 ? probably a little older at this point, but she was 19 when she went missing aka she became a proxy

she’s pretty quiet and mild mannered, but she always has a really intense expression. she’s usually pretty nervous, and gets jumpy when you do something like call her name, you always have to verbally let her know that she’s not in trouble. she’s trying to get better with it, considering she’s not held down by her mother anymore, but progress is slow sometimes. overall she’s a pretty sweet girl, just shy.

something special about her though is her unbreakable resilience, growing up the way she did leaves way for a lot of pent up anger, so even though she doesn’t show it often, she’s extremely stubborn and absolutely refuses to give up (that’s literally the sole reason she was chosen in the first place)

she’s very socially awkward but you can tell she’s doing her best, she usually comes off as overbearing because she tries so hard, but she loosens up a lot more once she realizes you’re being patient with her

she has tourettes !! yes that is absolutely me projecting, i felt lonely with toby being the only character i’ve seen that has traits like me, so i decided hey, what’s the harm in giving recess a little spice ??? she mostly has vocal tics where she says a word in a high pitched voice and sorta buffers. whenever she does it, she shakes her head to the side violently a few times and sometimes shoots out an arm or a leg. she gets a lot of neck pain from it but otherwise it doesn’t inhibit her or anything.

she doesn’t listen to girl in red but she DOES listen to bikini kill ... iykyk

her main weapons are a shotgun and a pistol. considering she was taught to shoot at a young age, she actually has pretty good aim. that doesn’t mean she likes shooting though, she would prefer not to hurt people but you gotta do what you gotta do when you’re being harassed by an unfathomable godless entity.

yes she’s part of the boys group. it’s not a romantic thing, it’s a familial dynamic. she’s the baby as well, so they’re kinda mother hens with her. well tim and brian at least, toby is more like her doting brother. with them she’s actually learned how to cut loose. (they found out she didn’t do normal kid things like rollerskate, trespass, have sleepovers, or watch cartoons, and they’ve been dedicated to helping her live a little ever since)

speaking of which, her “role” is to basically act as a vessel for the operators messages in a way. she’s the one that kind of puts orders into words. she gets these visions where her whole body goes rigid, her nose gushes blood, and her right eye flickers upwards. it’s scary for her and it’s scary to watch, but she’s not physically harmed much. she does get nightmares frequently because of it though, plus a lil dizziness from blood loss. she isn’t the strongest or the smartest, but she’s able to endure the mental toll that comes with experiencing those vivid visions, thus why she’s important.

she was raised in the middle of nowhere in the midwest by her conservative god-fearing mother in a little white house on a farm, she was homeschooled her whole life and was pretty sheltered

she had like one friend which is a girl who lived down the street named thea, thea’s dad was really sweet to her, he taught her how to play guitar, shoot a gun, fix a car, etc. since her mom wouldn’t let her (she thought that kinda stuff was too manly) and he’s the one who initially lighted that spark of rebelliousness in her

because of her mom, she only really owns dresses and skirts. she was taught that women should only wear skirts and all that bullshit, but even after she was freed from her mother, she kept wearing them. she felt that she shouldn’t wear skirts because she’s a girl, but because they make her comfortable. though when she doesn’t wear dresses, she wears baggy men’s clothing. it’s cozy and easy to find.

she rlly likes riot grrrl and punk rock type music, it was the only kind of music she was exposed to besides country. she wanted to be a lead guitarist and singer in a band one day when she was a kid.

her whole aesthetic is very heavily related to the kinderwhore style. i chose it for her bc kinderwhore basically represents taking the feminine good-girl aesthetic (something that tends to constrain a lot of women), and turning it into something to be empowered by. something that stood out to me while i was researching was the fact that these kinderwhore girls were described as confident, gruff, abrasive, loud-mouthed, and strong while they were performing on stage despite their feminine appearance. i felt like it fit her bc femininity is something that’s always loomed over her bc of her mother’s influence, so taking that aspect and subverting it is something that would help her grow more as a person (plus it just resonated with me personally bc i like being an angry woman lol)

if you want her general vibes, just look at 90’s kathleen hanna, courtney love, and kat bjelland, with a modern hint of nicole dollanganger

her entire concept is basically supposed to embody my personal struggle with womanhood. as a kid i was one of those girls that always hung out with boys, picked up worms, threw sticks at people, collected cicada shells, ran around in the woods, scraped my knees, etc, but i was also really girly. as i grew up, i was taught it wasn’t right for me to be dressing so feminine when i was so ornery and rowdy. as a result, i repressed that femininity. again, as i got older and learned from older women i knew, i figured out that nobody fucking cares, and i shouldn’t either. femininity shouldn’t be defined by gentleness and submissiveness, femininity can be whatever the fuck i want it to be. i wanted to channel all of that into recess, and use her to express a special part of myself while also throwing her into a fandom i love to bits.

in summary: midwestern farm girl turned gunslinging proxy in a vintage babydoll dress

[a-monsters-love]

Hi! Congratulations on your follower milestone! Can i request pairing with a Bnha male ? I'm a 164cm female, a liitle chubby/curvy. I would describe myself as Hardworking, serious and sarcastic. I have strong opinions on a lot of things and give more value to actions instead of words(but i like words of affirmation as a love language). I'm really shy & quite at first but warm and talkative later on, a bit protective even (I've been called a Tsundere A LOT of times). Although i give off a very independent, strict persona(which is true to an extent) tho I'm pretty chill and laid back most of the times. I love pink and pastels and dress up in them a lot. I can be both super girly and rugged theres no inbetween. If i were in the BNHA universe I'd Definitely have a healing quirk (bc I'm a nursing student rn so it kinda fits?) I like listening to music, snacking and going on walks. I don't like people who are always thinking with their hearts and act on raw emotions or impulses or are simple minded. I value good listeners bc otherwise its hard for me to open up. Thank you!

Thank you so much!! It sounds like you and I have a lot in common haha, you did not specify if you wanted a fic of HC’s so I’m going with the HC format 💛 I hope that’s okay!

I’m pairing you with………………………………………………

Todoroki Shoto!

This guy might be a bit of an air head but he’s not an idiot

He’s definitely the type you can have deep conversations with

When you first met, neither of you really said anything

You were training under Recovery Girl at a hospital when he brought in Izuku after fighting some villains

You gave Izuku the look

“It wasn’t my fault this time!” He cried

“This time.” You murmur as you start healing his wounds

Shoto hovered a little too close to watch you work

“Take a video, it’ll last longer.” You state sarcastically to the hero

You snort when he actually does

After that the two of you ended up hanging out a lot

Eventually dating

The two of you got closer when you realized how touch starved he was

You (being you) would grab his hand or place a hand on his arm, shoulder, back, etc

After he realized how much he liked it, he’d start doing the same back to you

Anytime you were nervous his hand would find you

He’d rub your back slightly

Or squeeze your arm/hand reassuringly

Little touches just to silently say “I’m here”

The dude isn’t the best at verbally expressing his love for you so this method is a win in his book

He loved the way you seemed to smile just for him

He never thought much of fashion but enjoyed how what you wore always surprised him

Like

He lives for it

It’s always a surprise

He will 100% let you dress him up/pick his clothing if you want to

He LOVES holding you

Claims you’re soft in all the right places

Just wants to cuddle and listen to you talk

Cuddling is his new favorite thing btw

After a long hard day at work?

He will P O U T until you cuddle with him

The two of you would be a total power couple

Socially and literally

HERO AND A HEALER? POWER BBY

You worked your ass off to be Recovery Girl’s ‘successor’

He is so proud of you

Has no shame in talking about how amazing you are to literally everyone

Will casually tell Izuku he grateful that he got hurt that one time

[rickybowxn]

let’s talk about ricky bowen again

dude ep5 and ep6 has crushed me. the way that they are alluding to ricky’s mental health these two episodes is so incredibly loud in the most subtle ways. and not to mention so damn relatable. 

ricky bowen is crying for help and comfort rn and it’s so sad and incredibly heartbreaking to watch. 

episode 5 mostly set up the emotion derivative and complexity for all of ricky’s actions in episode 6 to be as angsty and as wonderful as they were so i’m just gonna be pretty straight to the point with this first half of the post. let’s take a closer look and start with episode 5:

watching this sucked. he’s growing up, and bottling up all of these feelings to be strong for his dad. i love that they establish ricky’s response to conflict and trials: as someone who wants to be there for everyone else, even though it’s pretty sad to watch. he passively states what’s going in his life but never really talks about it, throughout the next few scenes, we realise that he deals with his conflict by being there for everyone else and well... not dealing with his conflict. he literally grows up and as fucked up as it is, becomes the parent. it made my stomach twist and it was written really well. my poor baby boi.

in his next two scenes with gina, we see exactly what was established with his dad:

in the first gif, he states his conflict in passing and then flips it to gina to talk about what’s going on with her. i’ve said again and again that he’s rlly bad with explicit verbal communication and this is a great example of how he’s good at being a support system for literally everyone, but has such a hard time being kind to himself. he uses ‘it’s a whole thing’ as a fast and sure way to dismiss his issue as not worth talking about and instantly wants to make gina the focus. the writers really did well with establishing that.

this gina and ricky interaction was great. not only did it establish rina’s chemistry, it also gave us the setup to ricky’s actions in the next episode - this play is what’s keeping him afloat rn. the people, the lines, the rehearsals are effectively helping him stay grounded and not lose his mind. it’s rlly heartbreaking to see how much he’s actually hurting, especially because he explicitly doesn’t show it throughout this episode or the next.

(i plan to do a rina arc post as well, and i’ll save most of my thoughts on them for that, but while we’re here, the last two scenes we broke down really established this strong and substantial connection between the characters really well. the writers pushed past the ‘we’re both outsiders’ arc and really gave ricky and gina substance and common ground for a solid dynamic. their motives and actions are very similar, and that’s why they have such a good foundation for gina’s understanding of, and being there for ricky in ep6, as well as where-ever the writers decide to take them - i personally prefer friendship but i know that some of y’all are rina shippers and that’s also very much on the table and i’m rlly okay with either! as much as i want rini to be endgame, they have established such wonderful characters with such amazing arcs and i want all of them to be explored and the writers are doing good work with it rn).

and now let’s look at episode 6, where they drive that stake into our hearts further. this is ricky’s reaction to carlos breaking the ms. jenn news to everyone:

you can see him unwind. you can see his world fall apart bit by bit as the realisation hits. the established safe haven he has, doubling down as a distraction for everything going on in his life right now, is being torn from under his feet. it was personally one of the hardest and heartbreaking things to see this ep, it’s just constant angst with him oof. 

but then, in the most ricky bowen fashion ever, he jumps right back to wanting to fight and keep trying, he stays despite everyone else leaving (starting with nini, and i’lll mention why that’s important in just a second). he puts aside all the anxiety he has if the play (at that point, most probably bound to end) falls apart and commits to fighting for it, clinging desperately to it:

and now as for everyone leaving, the writers used it as such a good way to establish how significantly important the play is for especially ricky, carlos and gina - the three people who stayed. as a side-note, carlos’s attachment to the play is established and developed later in the episode with the string of dialogue in big red’s basement, so i’m not gonna elaborate, it was way more explicit than ricky’s arc that led to the climatic monologue(ish) he delivered towards the end of that same scene.

for nini, the play is the path to her developing her self-confidence and maturity so she embraces it to grow (and she’s slowly rediscovering herself just generally), not to run away from the rest of her life, unlike ricky and gina:

like nini, the rest of the cast uses the play as an opportunity rather than a distraction, and that’s what sets ricky and gina apart from them. this made it easier from them to walk away and wallow in the possibility of the show ending (also that look ricky gave nini walking way *my heart shattered*). ricky (and gina) is established to clearly not have that same luxury. this scene sets up ricky and gina having the play as this tether that’s keeping them at bay from things that they should be dealing with (we don’t know about gina’s issues yet and i’m very ready and excited to cry about that angst by the way), so their instinct is to stay and try and fight for the play/keep practising. 

the next scene explicates why this play means the most to ricky, and as with everything about his arc rn, it’s heart-wrenching:

he’s in complete denial of the only thing keeping him together rn falling apart. it is sad, heart-breaking and gut-wrenching. this angst is delivered with such fucking excellence by joshua bassett that i kinda wanna punch him lmao

and here’s where it hits home. gina realises the reality that they might not come back to the show and is ready to face it (instituted by her even asking the question in the first place), but ricky’s denial contrast that so heavily this scene. that denial is what establishes the play meaning the most to ricky. just by watching the scene, you can tell how he’s unravelling, trying not to let himself be overwhelmed by the possibility of it. it’s so fucking angsty ugh.

(another side note, as i said before, i’m probably gonna make another entire post about the gina/ricky arc but i had to mention this. after this exchange, her supporting him and taking his mind off of all of this by asking him to do something he loves and perform the acoustic version of ‘when there was me and you’, grounding ricky for a bit, was one of my most favourite things to watch this entire episode, even being primarily a rini shipper - they rlly sold them i can see their growing popularity as completely justified, they were hella cute this ep).

now this moment is where i felt like sobbing and reaching into the screen to hug him:

he finally opens up about it. why he’s so desperate to keep this play alive and why saving ms. jenn’s job is so incredibly important to him. and i loved that nini helped him say the words he needed to say. the look of relief when he was assured that he didn’t have to do any of this alone, just with nini finishing that sentence for him - that nini, gina, big red and everyone else was going to be there for him, and hear him out - fuck, it was beautiful!! it also encouraged him to take charge and chant ‘what team?’, he was ready to fight and everyone readying with him was so magnetic to see. it was also clearly therapeutic to him bc during, and after the final number, he looks genuinely happy, and we see him fully smiling/laughing more than the last 5eps combined. 

he finally gets a win and it may not solve all his problems, but being one of the motivating factors in saving ms. jenn’s job through his vulnerability in this scene really gives him a leg up and i loved watching it. i hope they don’t dismiss everything he still has to continue to have to deal with (making this an all problem solving cure as sometimes disney does) but that aside, i’m so glad they had subtle continuity in furthering his character’s development these last two episodes even though he wasn’t a primary focus. it was subtle, nuanced and genuinely so complex and enjoyable to watch.

[matoitech]

hello u dont have to answer this if u dont want, but ur situation with gender is scarily similar to where im at except im in the mindset that im nb wlw and dont rlly kno whats going on. I guess if u kno how to explain it, I wanted to ask how u made that jump or how u could tell it isnt just a "womanhood is like that" kind of thing and is actually "i am a guy"

oh man i wish i had smth that would make it Click for u easier cuz i def understand being rly confused abt this kinda thing.. i got a few Thoughts, idk if they will help u out but hopefully they give u some more thoughts to chew on that will maybe help anyway. this got so long oh hell sorry gbfhg

i think like the main thing as like a tip b4 we get in2 the Meat of it is it is good to relax and b open to thinking abt bein a guy as a possibility, i dont know if this will make sense bc i do not know how to explain it rly but when i was struggling 2 figure stuff out what i had rly needed 2 know was that being a dif gender can just feel like You (but as u become more comfortable w it, you but happier!) for some reason i thought u had to meet certain criteria to b ‘allowed’ to make what seemed 2 me at the time a Leap but thats not how it works lol. u as u r right now can b a guy if u want to or r considering it. u dont have to feel different and u dont have to think abt ur body a different way or anything. sry if this part doesnt make sense its difficult for me to verbalize lol

it was hard for me personally bc ppl would b like ‘if u Want to b a dif gender than b one’ but like i said in those last posts, for a long time i genuinely did not know i Wanted to be a guy/was a guy, or whatever. i had no conscious longing about it or anything, that came later once i was more comfortable w accepting it. i didnt have ‘i want to be a boy/am a boy’ moments i can rly consciously remember putting into those words as a kid, cuz i just did not care about gender on that level till i was a teenager. like i cannot stress this enough, ur life and feelings abt gender n whatever do not have to match up with what u have commonly heard the trans experience is about. once u figure stuff out and r more comfortable w urself u may look back and notice things that may b like that common trans experience, but remembering this stuff or having these childhood experiences or whatever in the first place is not a ‘requirement’. like i said, no requirements for bein a dif gender

for me like.. knowing it for sure... making the Jump as it were. like its kinda embarrassing but literally the way i Found Out was i was feeling all sorts of things whenever i watched promare and i just felt this INTENSE longing whenever i saw galo that i later realized was just me rly feeling the Gender w him and being envious of that.. it had happened w other chars b4 growing up, but i had never rly noticed to that extent till now. and one night i was thinking my usual ‘i wish i looked like galo i wish i could be a guy’ maybe for the first time in like a Conscious thought, when i had never rly heard it in words b4, and i kinda stopped and was like. what? i WHAT? and then it clicked and it was like a euphoric moment for me. easily top 5 best 2 ams of my life. it is kind of a hyperspecific experience but it is also not UNCOMMON rly lol

also figuring out my sexuality was intertwined in that bc i was iding as a butch nonbinary lesbian and i had tossed the idea of ‘maybe id b more comfortable as a man’ around a bit but the idea of being a straight man didnt feel right 2 me, but luckily i kind of made the connection of wait im a man and im attracted to men at like the exact same time, it had to b both at once for me personally to figure it out and b happy about it. idk if thats smth going thru ur head at all but it was for me and was part of my Journey i guess and may help to think abt it a bit lol

and while yes its absolutely about what makes u more comfortable at the end of the day, i think it wouldve helped for me to hear ppl say that just bc the idea of being a dif gender (in this case Man) might make u feel confused and maybe even uncomfortable rn, that doesnt necessarily mean u r not one if youve been struggling w this and wondering, it might just mean u havent had that clicky moment and r ready to rly think abt it yet. i have grown much more comfortable w myself over time as ive figured this stuff out and i am still open to figuring out more abt myself and i think thats a good place to b at! just b open to stuff like this that u maybe had never thought would have a positive effect on you or make you happier.

speaking from experience i think if ur confused and maybe even miserable telling urself that womanhood is just like that and u gotta suck it up and get used to feeling uncomfortable and bad, u dont have to live like that! im not saying that ‘oh im actually a guy’ is gonna b what everyone who is struggling w thats answer is cuz obviously thats not true- and im not saying how i just described it is even how u feel- but like. as someone who thought that same thing but less consciously. womanhood does not have to be a confusing sad experience, its not an inherently miserable experience, it is possible it just isnt for you and trying smth else might make u feel better. and that can b rly hard to figure out in the moment, cuz ur Used to feeling like this and even if youve heard it can b different it might b hard to have that ‘oh theyre talking to ME, it can be different for ME not just everyone else’ moment lol

also i dont know if this is relevant to u but im saying it in general 2 anyone who needs it i guess; being a man isnt a bad thing and it doesnt make u an inherently bad person, manhood and masculinity r not inherently or naturally toxic or something. thats a harmful mindset to have for multiple reasons and a whole nother post so im not gonna b like and now a word about transphobic red flags but like, worth mentioning that that can b harmful or dangerous to trans ppl, transmascs and transfems.

my god this got rly long... if anyone else has went thru a similar thing and has anything 2 add, feel free to :0 hope i somehow got around to answering ur question w all the rambling! i am just one guy and my experience may or may not b helpful to hear about, especially bc my memory is not the best lol <3 hope it helped at all tho!