#(just so fucking sick of queer love and relationships being boiled down to “up to interpretation” and erased)

[dyketennant]

being a crowley kinnie is harder than being a u.s. marine

[justsome-di]

Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs: Chapter 3

if you’d like to read chapters a week in advance, you can pledge to my patreon here.

“Dude, you’ve snapped.”

Alex walked up and down the short length of the living room. He tried to find something to distract him each round of his journey. Anything would do. He fixed the way the curtains were laying on their one window. He pulled off dead leaves from Eve’s plant. He examined the mason jar that held their savings. Eve watched with sick fascination over her video game.

“What the fuck happened?” she asked.

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you pacing?”

“I’m not.”

He pulled a book forward on their single hanging bookshelf and laid it in line with the others. Sometime Next Year. It was one of Eve’s. If Alex remembered correctly, it was for her queer book club—the one she always tried dragging him to but that his anxiety always held him back from. It was a good idea. She had organized the whole thing by herself, pitching the idea to her boss and scheduling the meetings and books. Alex really was proud of her. But he enjoyed his time away from Eve when she left the apartment for an extra hour every month.

And it filled him with guilt.

Damián would probably never think something like that about his brother. They binged shows together, and Damián let his brother live at his apartment rent-free. Damián probably showed him love in a thousand other ways.

“Do you want to do something?” Alex asked.

“Like, right now?”

“Yeah.”

“No. I’m trying to catch an Eevee.”

“You don’t want to get out for a little bit?”

He was bugging out. He needed to burn off all of the anxious energy that was boiling over inside of him even if it did make him look like a manic mess.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You never want to do anything after 9 pm.” Eve raised her eyebrows and got a little evil smirk. “Did you try cocaine tonight?”

“No! I’m totally sober.” Alex closed his eyes for a second. “I’m mostly sober. We had wine.”

“Just tell me what the fuck happened!”

Alex couldn’t. He couldn’t tell her he had accidentally gone on a date with a sex worker and that the whole thing had been a set-up. He especially couldn’t tell her that he was going to hire said sex worker as revenge.

And maybe his internal monologue should have included Damián’s name. Damián. He was more than a sex worker.

Not that Alex was treating him like a real person. Fuck. He had to call it all off. He was totally using Damián.

Or maybe he wasn’t.

He was confused. Damián had consented to it. It was like he said. He was a professional companion, and Alex was in need of a companion for one night. The context shouldn’t have mattered all that much. No one would get hurt.

“Are you going to see him again?” Eve buried her face behind her game. “I think you should try. You were excited to meet him.”

“Um. Yeah. We exchanged numbers.”

“Good. You seemed happy, I guess.”

She usually did say things that made it sound like she approved his happiness.

Alex’s relationship with Eve was complicated. He loved her dearly. More than anything. But he was 14 years older than her.

He had offered her a place to stay the second she was accepting into SUNY. It was the first time they were living together in a decade. She had grown up so much in that time that it was like she was a new person.

For some reason, up until then, she had stayed in a permanent state of being a child in his mind. Every time he visited home, he assumed a 12-year-old would run up to him and show him something new she had done at school. But the day she moved in with him, she stopped looking so much like a little kid. She wasn’t running up to him. She wasn’t talking about cartoons and showing off hand-drawn picture books and instead started talking about finding a job and writing codes for Twitter bots.  

Eve never wanted to acknowledge any positive, loving emotions between them. But Alex didn’t know if they could be snappy full-time as siblings closer in age were.

It caught him off guard when she mentioned he seemed happy. He didn’t know she watched him that closely.

“I was,” he said. He had been. And now he was a mix of nerves and guilt and the residual happiness was beginning to fade.

“Then see him again,” she said. “What’s the worst that can happen? You already did the scariest part.”

If only she knew that he hadn’t.

“Can I ask you a question?” Eve paused her game and set it down. “Was he nice? Or was he an asshole and are you doing the whole thing where nice people fall in love with assholes?”

“I think you read too many trashy romance novels.”

“Answer my question.”

“He’s nice.”

“Name one nice thing he did tonight.”

There were a dozen. Damián was perfectly polite and kind. He not only comforted Alex when he was probably more justified in being upset and scared. He had led Alex through that hallway so nicely, he had held open the door and called the elevator for him.

“He asked about you,” Alex said.

“Gross. Don’t talk about me.” Eve screwed up her face. “What did you say?”

“I just said that you were a computer science student and that you’re struggling in a class—“

“Don’t tell people that! What’s wrong with you?”

“Why shouldn’t I tell people?”

Eve threw a throw pillow at his face, missed, and hit a floor lamp. Alex held his breath. The lamp rolled around on its edges, teetering from side to side. It settled back down with a rattle.

“Eve—“

“Sorry!” She was pale. “I didn’t mean to!”

“If you’re going to wreck my apartment, you can find a dorm on campus.”

She shoved herself far down into the couch and picked up her game. The paleness in her cheeks turned to bright red. It wasn’t fair of Alex. Threatening to send her to dorms was cruel. Implying she would have to spend summers back in New Jersey where their parents had moved was even crueler.

After all, he was pretty happy to have her around most of the time. The place felt a little less lonely with her stuff around. A backpack in the kitchen, a pair of black jeans in the bathroom, for some reason a bra in his room. She took up space, and while he could find it annoying, he did enjoy it. Even if he did enjoy the little moments he had alone. If she were gone for good, he’d miss her.

Damián surely would never threaten to kick out his brother.

Alex picked up the pillow and tossed it, gently, on her. She wiggled away from it.

“You shouldn’t have told your date that I’m failing a math class,” she said, quiet, like she didn’t totally want him to hear her and continue the conversation.

“I didn’t say it in a mean way.” Alex sat down next to her. “I wasn’t like, ‘And my sister is flunking math because she’s an idiot.’ I said you were struggling and that’s it.”

“You didn’t even have to say that. Is there nothing else you could have said about me?”

“I did say that you were smart.”

Eve scrunched her nose up. She didn’t want to be talked about at all, it seemed. Despite being 19, she still had some remaining teenage angst toward her whole existence. The less people outside her own little circle who knew she was alive, the better.

“Next time I see him I’ll tell him that you’re an idiot, don’t worry,” Alex said.

Eve kicked his shoulder with her socked foot. She pounded on him with her heel, but it didn’t hurt. Eve didn’t have impressive strength.

“I’ll tell him that you’re awful and that you two can never meet and that you’re just a nightmare to deal with,” he went on.

“No!”

“Fine. Then I’ll tell him you’re a wonderful princess who has never done any wrong.”

“Nooo!” Eve drew it out longer that time with a little bit more of a whine. It reminded him of someone he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

She kicked him one last time, putting all of her strength into it. Alex rocked just a little bit. Easily, he righted himself.

Eve threw her head back. She was probably too old to be acting like that, but Alex let it slide. Living with family and having limited independence could stunt one's emotional growth. One day, he would blink, and she would be a total grown-up with her own health benefits and her own apartment, and he would wonder if he got enough to taunt her and love her and threaten to replace her with a rabbit.

Oh. That was what the whining reminded him of.

“Do you want to watch Lilo & Stitch?” Alex asked.

“Ooh, fuck yeah.”

“Turn it on.”

They settled into the couch together, more comfortable, with all of the pillows where they belonged. For that, Alex was glad. He had bought the pillows not too long ago, and he wanted to get as much life out of them as he possibly could.

As the movie played, Alex wondered what Damián was doing right about then. Probably something a lot cooler than what he was doing.

He thought about their scheme, and he thought about how it would be worth it just to get out of the apartment with someone other than his sister. And he thought that it all sounded a little too selfish but that if he was paying Damián for it then maybe it wasn’t so bad to think about what he could get out of it, personally. Ethical or not, he was getting a little excitement.

Out of his boring life and into a briefly wondrous one.

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[land-of-brains-and-chocolate]

god it WILL NOT stop bothering me until i talk about it. the way we got here. it’s not just about the book anymore, not at all, and it’s certainly never been about “shipping”, at this point it’s how helpless the tactics of the guy make me feel.

step one: refer to people who have read previous venom books and noticed the trend throughout the nineties to portray eddie and the symbiote as a man and an agender alien in an ambiguously or not-so-ambiguously romantic relationship, which was picked up on and completely unambiguously canonised in the very last run, consistently refer to these people as “shippers”, lovingly condescend to them, do not ever treat “the ship” as existing beyond their imagination

[I LOVE THAT YOU GUYS EXIST]

result: make people forget that this is a complete misrepresentation and he has received no criticism whatsoever for “not making a ship canon” because that is not what he did, he decanonised it and then denied doing so and painted everyone it ever meant something to as essentially deluded - and, considering that that’s all they are, he’s being awfully kind and accommodating, isn’t he?

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step two: actively seek out these no-good shippers on tumblr! tell them that you’re watching them! read their detailed posts in which they express their grievances about your comic book to their friends and misrepresent their points on your twitter so your bajillion followers can affirm that Those People are categorically wrong about everything!

[EDDIE IS CODEPENDENT]

people are mad at him because he said eddie was codependent! not because he’s reframing the extremely rare story of a troubled queer relationship that was ultimately still a redemptive force in these characters’ lives as an unhealthy compulsion that corrupts, hm, what a fresh and unfamiliar take, no reason why this would strike a nerve - and, recently, of course, as something inherently abusive, every bit of hope and change for the better vile and fake.

literally just start vaguing about people’s personal tumblr blogs on your professional twitter account with the little, little blue checkmark and everything, use that to make passive-aggressive references to people’s posts! why not!

[LOVE EACH OTHER]

people talk about how they like a symbiote and its host getting along (and they did, that very night, talk quite a lot about ngozi)? that is so dumb and lame.

[EVERYTHING IS AWESOME]

people get sick of edgy shock factor writing that throws one dark theme after another at them without treating any of them with the consideration they deserve? people expect some moments of levity in a venom book?

they’re asking for stories with no conflict where nothing bad ever happens! but it’s okay, he knows better, he knows you just don’t know what you want! it’s not like endless sadness is just as likely to be dreadfully boring or unintentionally hilarious as endless happiness!

result: o w n e d god he sure is shutting down every point no one has ever made

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step three: literally get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only boil their opinions down to THE SHIIIIP but literally say that their opinions don’t matter because they literally would never say it “to your face” literally because it’s “easy to be brave on tumblr”

literally

say these words

[IT’S EASY TO BE BRAVE ON TUMBLR]

call people chicken shits for NOT talking to you directly! and then! BLOCK everybody who talks to you directly! or quote retweet them so your followers can descend like vultures! actually acknowledge that it takes bravery to interact with you if you’re in the Tumblr Demographic, you know, one of Those People, and frame yourself as in the right for it???

am i losing my mind???

[SIX PEOPLE ON TUMBLR]

get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only claim they’re the only people ever to talk badly of it but imply that you’re one step away from namedropping the specific perpetrators. that’s not ominous at all!

it’s an age-old question: how many times does one of marvel’s top writers with legions of fans have to imply his antagonistic awareness of your specific existence before you’re on a first name basis? and also paranoid?

result: stir shit. be a shit stirrer. faint when your shit stirring does in fact stir shit. you can’t go “you would never” and be surprised when people do, you... can’t...

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step four: whip out your ally card... to whip the people you’re supposed to be allied to with it. try to use your knowledge of queer issues to shut down actual queer people.

[I DON’T THINK IT’S APPROPRIATE TO ASSUME GENDER]

either that, or straight-up make a “did you just assume my gender” joke. i can’t find the original tweet anymore, so it’s possible it was that and he deleted it because it was too blatant, lol.

result: MAYBE YOU GUYS WERE THE PROBLEMATIC ONES ALL ALONG

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step five: remember that interview where he outright stated that he just wants to, just to be the definite venom run? just to put the biggest dent in canon he can? just to break everybody’s toys and emerge victorious as the one person with the valid take on venom?

yeah, those things become more noticeable in the actual book, over time, and acceptance of that is, uh, not universal? not everybody’s up for him spending several issues in a row on e s t a b l i s h i n g  d o m i n a n c e by having eddie sit around as other characters tell him that a ton of stuff other writers from michelinie to thompson to costa to kaminski to slott to jenkins have done actually sucked and was wrong and fake and never happened? through retcons that make no sense, like, factually don’t fit?

people don’t like you walking back character and relationship development to further your end goal of recasting the symbiote as the personification of addiction and abuse instead of itself a survivor of extreme abuse who has been constantly denied personhood in a way that is frighteningly resonant and who has been going through a genuine redemption arc for years now?

people don’t like you acting like eddie never had a reason for being who he is before and you had to make one up? one that doesn’t fit the character at all, which you didn’t realise because you apparently thought the character had no characterisation before you came along?

you can imagine how these things might spark nerd rage?

and you can probably imagine who this nerd rage was blamed on, yeah?

these criticisms inherently require knowledge of venom canon, because they’re largely about disrespect for it, these criticisms are not related to shipping of any kind - but of course the only thing people could possibly be mad about is the "ship", the only ones making a fuss are those “shippers”, those casuals, Those People who only care about One Thing and don’t understand the real gritty reality of the, god you get it i’m making fun

[I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT]

you’re the only one, don. it’s true.

and i know, i know for a fact, that he’s been aware of criticism from other groups all along, that he was, for example, witness to this livestream that spends like a solid hour a month mercilessly dragging him through the dirt, and you know what the extent of his response was?

thanks for checking the book out.

that’s it. that’s all. this guy hasn’t gotten any less loud about criticising him, either. wishing for his book’s cancellation and retconning. but nothing more. he gets to keep to himself. he is #valid.

people have been taking the piss out of him on youtube, on reddit. only tumblr ever earned his ire. only tumblr gets namedropped at convention panels.

and now, now more than ever? you better believe your regular run-of-the-mill nerds, straight, male, utterly uninterested in the icky stuff, everything, are mad. almost everyone who’s truly tits deep in venom lore is mad.

and so he’s said he’s received threats. and i’m sure he has. i’ve received threats. you’ve received threats. it’s never okay. it sure as shit never helps to send them.

he’s gotten a lot of fucking inappropriate personal vitriol! lots of it actually “ship”-related! i’m categorically against contacting the guy for any reason!

but who is to blame? who do people accept as being to blame? who do news outlets report on as being to blame? when, i presume, not every single one of them actually went “i’m doing this specifically because i’m a (thunder clap) shipper”? when large-scale retcons are literally always met with nerd rage? when a shipper-less fandom probably still would’ve had threats?

[THIS IS INSANE]

[IT’S THE SHIPPERS]

result: if all criticism = “shippers”, and “shippers” = harassment, then everyone who has no actual idea of what’s going on but who doesn’t like “shippers” is automatically on his side and nobody who isn’t a “shipper” wants to risk the association by criticising him.

get this stuff out to his followers, to news outlets, to people completely uninvolved and contextless, and watch the bile run over everywhere because lots of people are ready to accept this narrative in comic book spaces.

have people in the replies and comments eagerly discussing how this is more proof that c+o+m+i+c+s+gate was right and they’re the only reasonable ones. how disgusting and crazy "shippers” are. how donny should keep doing his best to trigger the gays. there’s no pushback against these ideas.

and i’m so fucking stuck between wanting to defend the man, wring my hands and apologise on behalf of the other These People, because i don’t see anything justifiable in their actions, and in being... just... just so frustrated... with everything... with throwing everyone out to the dogs... and claiming that he doesn’t mean to... when he has this whole history of belittling "shippers” specifically... of making sure their public image is that of people who just don’t know what they’re talking about and are in no way worth empathising with... of only drawing attention to the aggressive ones and blocking the reasonable ones

when he literally only stands to benefit from doing all this. 

this is massive amounts of free positive pr.

this makes him essentially immune to criticism of any kind.

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes! 

i forgot! somewhere along the line, he did do something very good and disavowed association with co/mics/ga/te!

[C0M1C5G8]

why the fuck am i censoring? tumblr search stopped working decades ago.

anyway, it should come as no particular surprise why these people assumed he would side with them. not that any high profile writer who values his standing would, really. are there any? maybe there are, i’m not up to date on this drama.

i just think it’s funny - genuinely not his fault, but hilarious - that this was apparently enough to inspire a “boycott”? and it was a fart in the wind?

which is the least surprising thing ever because there is actually nothing whatsoever to hold these people’s ire to be found in venom? excluding aliens, there has been one real and present character who isn’t a white guy in 11 issues? it is actively less queer than it was before? donny has never caved to the essjaywoo pressure in any way, shape or form? what were they... thinking? it’s almost like these people are dumb?

all they've done is ensure that, without it actually doing anything, venom gets the commendation for being A Comic The Gators Don't Like?

anyway.

what do we do moving forward? i don’t know. nothing. not harassing anyone. keep being salty on tumblr. do not engage him. i think i’m more about stalling the chain reaction he’s caused than the man himself. if you’re not a “shipper”, of course, keep posting your criticism, maybe stand up for “shippers” who are being dogpiled over genuine criticism, don’t let people say This Is All Proof Of How You Can’t Have Queer Content Because Queers Are Crazy.

and be nice to mike costa.

[hilllsnholland]

Richkid!haz being slightly insecure because most girls he’s been with has either just wanted him for his money or just wanted to show him off and brag how they’ve been with him??? He’s such a softie im—

FUCK THIS CONCEPT OMG! I’m so protective over Harrison right now idk why 

____

“So what’s the plan tonight?” 

You turn to your boyfriend from the en suite bathroom, the glowing white lights illuminating your freshly done makeup and short rose gold dress. It was date night and for the past month, you and Harrison had stayed home. Tonight you were determined to go out on the town, maybe see a movie or go to dinner. Harrison doesn’t turn from the bed and shrugs. 

“We can watch the new season of Queer Eye.” 

Your face falls. Isn’t he sick of Netflix already? You put on your heels and strut over to his side of the bed. Harrison looks at you and cracks a smile. 

“Beautiful as always.” He grabs your hand and squeezes it. “But, come cuddle so we can get started.”

You just stare at him. Is he serious? You scoff and go back into the bathroom, taking off the jewelry you had just put on. Harrison can tell you’re angry but doesn’t leave the bed, his eyes fixated on the duvet. 

“Are you embarrassed?”

“What?” Harrison looks at you finally and he’s afraid of what you’ll say. 

“Are you embarrassed by me? Because I’m not rich like you? Is it the way I dress?” 

“No,” 

He doesn’t want to talk about it but you’re pressing him. His temper might fly and that’s the last thing he wants. Harrison doesn’t want to lose you, but you’re pacing around the bathroom, slamming your things on the counter as you get unready. 

“Then what is it? Why don’t you want to go out? You go out with Tom and Harry all the time so what is it?” You rant throwing your heels into the back of the closet. “Is this not a serious relationship to you? If you want a casual-“

“Y/N stop.” He yells and you freeze in your tracks. “Stop fucking talking.” 

The anger was now boiling inside of you. You slam the bathroom door shut and lock it. You were not in the mood to talk to him when’s he being like this. You change into your robe and sit on the stool for your vanity. You spent an hour on your makeup and you didn’t feel like cleaning it off yet. You sigh, stopping the tears from falling down and trace the gold embellishments on the counter. 

“Y/N?” 

“Go away.” 

You audibly groan, laying your head on the cold counter and hoping he’d go back to bed. He can enjoy the T.V. by himself. You just want to go out sometimes, you had no idea what was making him so defiant against that. 

“Y/N please, open the door sweetheart.” 

He’s pleading now, sad knocks on the door make you pout. You don’t want to but you can’t resist his sad voice. You unlock the door but turn away from him, stomping back over to your vanity. Harrison walks behind you, now dressed in a beautiful suit jacket and all done up. 

“You going out?” You spat, playing with the makeup brushes on the counter to deflect your anger. 

“Yes, I need to take my beautiful girlfriend out because she deserves to be shown off to the world.” He runs a hand through his hair as he walks closer to you. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I just got scared.” 

“Scared? Of going out with me?” You turn around so you’re facing him, taking his hand and interlocking it with yours. 

“No, yes? It’s complicated. The past girls I’ve been out with used me for my money and used me to get into fancy places. I know you’re not like that but I got so scared. It’s not fair to you and I’m sorry.” 

You stand, cupping his cheek with your free hand and kiss him. Was he being stupid? A little, but his feelings are valid. You pull away and smile which instantly settles his nerves. 

“You’re right, I’m not like that. I don’t care what we do Haz, I just want to be with you. I love you no matter what.” 

Harrison smiles, kissing the top of your head before disappearing into the walk-in closet. When he returns he has a silver gown in hand that sparkles in the light. It’s beautiful and you’re a lost for words. 

“Come on darling, put this sexy thing on so I can show you off to the world.” 

[thealternatemind]

At this point I’m just tired of the back and forth between Alice and Eliot. Why do they need to this to any of the characters? Also Arjun was tweeting about how the characters don’t always get a happy ending, but it’s like penny and Julia get to have some romance and intimacy on screen in this season and so does Margo and Josh. The ending may not be happy, but they’re happy together. So why can’t we have that for Q and El?

sorry for taking a hot sec to get back to you! i was in class. now that’s all done though, i’m here to go tf OFF on the magicians again.

you make an excellent point. i’m really sick of the back and forth too. like, at this point it feels as though alice and el (particularly alice) have been boiled down to just being q’s love interest. and q hasn’t even gotten what feels like real development this season! he’s been thrown to the back burner. so, like, what’s going on there? alice and el are their own characters, and BY GOD they deserve to have their own plots outside of being hopelessly in love with q.

i also agree on your other points. like, i’m so so grateful for arjun listening to our concerns and speaking to us. that was wonderful of him. however, i think it’s really really important to emphasize that sometimes we just want happy moments? like not even happy endings– just moments!

as you said, we constantly see m/f ships like margo/josh and julia/23 having the onscreen non-subtextual romance and intimacy. they’re shown kissing. fucking. their relationships are addressed. when it’s causing them distress, they fucking talk about it (i.e. kady talking about penny last night)!! for people that ship them, those are happy moments.

as queliot shippers, we don’t get that. we get a single shining moment once a season and nothing more. q and el are left up to interpretation– constantly making people say shit like: “actually they’re straight.” it’s so annoying. like!!!! just address them onscreen! it’s not that hard! please! it just really shows how censored queer relationships are in the media… and i thought the magicians was going to be different.

there were so, so many times q could have spoken about his love for el throughout the entirety of this season, and what are we met with? jackshit. even worse, we get him crawling back to his ex out of literally no where. both q and alice deserve better than that shit. and frankly, so do we.

[arcaneranger]

Final Thoughts - Banana Fish

Strap in, because this one gets complicated. Also, spoiler alert for both this and for 91 Days, because I can’t just talk about one thing, I have to swerve way out of my lane. If you don’t want to be spoiled or read a lot of rambling, I’m giving it a recommendation.

Let me start by throwing in some context. Summer 2016 saw the release of an original show by Studio Shuka (best known for the sequel seasons of Durarara!!) called 91 Days, a mob story with very deep homoerotic subtext about a boy taking revenge for the murder of his family by a crime family by infiltrating said family and becoming a close confidant to their leader, who also happens to be the insanely attractive Nero. His hotness isn’t especially relevant to my criticism, but like...

Woof.

Anyway, mob stories as a rule do not have happy endings - they usually involve villainous protagonists that have to do very bad things in order to accomplish their goals, which are also often not very noble in intention. If they happen to accomplish something good, it’s a side effect. In the end, Nero becomes very aware that his new friend has been systematically destroying his family since the moment they met, and after a lot of bloody violence, the show ends with the two of them walking alone down a beach on an overcast day. They talk about their experience, and both of them know that despite genuinely growing to like one another, it’s far, far too late for this to end well. Nero pulls out his gun, and the screen cuts to black a moment before he pulls the trigger.

It’s fucking powerful, and the entire time I watched Banana Fish, I was thinking about that ending. While Banana Fish is a very different show, if you really boil it down, it’s also a mob story about taking revenge for the loss of your family, and the things you have to do in order to achieve such a selfish goal as vengeance.

Banana Fish ends up swinging a lot wider than 91 Days, ultimately, because it brings in a lot of even more adult concepts and handles them with varying results. Rape, for instance, is mentioned a lot as something that happened in the backstory of several characters (all of whom are male, though they weren’t always the actual victims), and it’s neither handled carefully nor is it glamorized. The main character Ash actually seems to have developed a complete lack of caring about his own sexual well-being from having been involved in a lot of child pornography, and many times over the course of the story he uses his body to seduce men he needs things from because his good looks and experience are enough to make basically the entire cast want him.

But the only one he wants is the Japanese college student who suddenly got caught up in his plans, and becomes magnetized to in a way he’s completely unable to handle.

Banana Fish is the single most queer-coded show I’ve ever seen that never has the subtext rise to become pure text. The author herself has stated that in all the time Eiji and Ash spent together, they felt as lovers, but never consummated that feeling. They do embrace intimately whenever they see each other after a period of absence, but even when they share a room, they have separate beds divided by a nightstand. It’s almost strange how sudden the stop on this relationship is, like after displaying a lot of male affection and even kissing at one point (as part of a ruse), the two of them suddenly no-homoed.

I think this is probably a result of the time period the story was originally written in - like I said in my premiere review, Banana Fish as a manga was published from the mid-eighties to the mid-nineties, in a time where the U.S. was facing the AIDS crisis (so media endorsing gay relationships between men were generally not widely accepted due to the massive stigma) and Japan was...well, Japan has pretty much been “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” for a very long time. So writing a story that goes right up to the line for readers that seek such things out (who were certainly there, BL as a genre is now a staple in Japan, particularly among women, whom Banana Fish was targeting since it was in a shoujo magazine) but doesn’t step over it was probably ideal for the time period.

However, I really question whether the author in question (Akimi Yoshida, just to get her name in here) was opposed to changing this position, or if director Hiroko Utsumi ever considered asking her for her input, because the story has been updated to take place in the present day, when being gay in America is not a particularly big deal, especially in New York City. I’m really afraid that it’s going to be a while before we get explicitly queer shows in Japan that don’t involve the tired aggressive, rapey seme archetype like DAKAICHI or even Bloom Into You, because this would have been a pretty good chance to try that out, given that MAPPA already made a show two years ago that also toed the line without ever actually showing Yuri and Victor being together on camera (and no, even the kiss doesn’t count, they deliberately cut away from it).

We also have to deal with the fact that these stories don’t have happy endings.

After the conflict is over, and after resolving to never see Eiji again for his safety, Ash is given a letter from him that contains a plane ticket and a heartfelt plea to understand that Eiji was never afraid of his partner despite all of the violence he had been involved in, Ash begins to run to the airport, towards his happy ending...and is murdered, because cosmically that’s what he had earned. While I fully approve of this as an ending, it is still pretty firmly an example of Burying Your Gays, and warrants a lot of scrutiny because of that.

Basically, I’m not sure how I feel about it and I don’t know that I ever will be.

But now that I’ve gotten all of that off of my chest, Banana Fish is a terrifically-plotted mob action story that seems to have gotten a lot of love and passion out of studio MAPPA, easily comparable to Yuri On Ice!!! from 2016. The action is brutal and satisfying, the twists are fantastic and kept me guessing right till the end, and the entire thing plays out much like a Shakespearean tragedy. I just wanted to express my disappointment that in a show as well-written as this one, with critically acclaimed source material, Banana Fish couldn’t take the one extra step that would have made its finale that much more meaningful, because I was sick to death by the end by all the emphasis on what good friends its leads were.

8/10!

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 8: Thoughts on 1x10 I Am Become Death

Friday tomorrow. Watching I Am Become Death tonight instead of sleeping.

I don’t think I ever noticed the random severed arm in the Exodus ship wreckage before. Or the random ribs.

I hate to say it but I semi-side with Finn re: the Grounders but he’s otherwise annoying. “Clarke shouldn’t be out here” blah blah whatever--you clearly don’t know her at all because obviously she’d be out there first. Raven gets her better and Raven/Clarke should have been a thing.

“Why they’re coming doesn’t matter anymore”--lol truer words were never spoken. Seriously. And it’s quite sad.

“We move in formation”--what an actual army.

This is one of Jasper’s more annoying scenes, telling the bridge story, but at least he’s acting 15, which I appreciate; also Octavia is semi-more annoying (that’s your friend lol, get over your grumpiness); and also it’s all worth it for the lines “Let us have this” and “my boy’s a folk hero.” (I’m hearing my and you can’t stop me, Netflix subtitles that say the.)

Why would these bozos shoot into the woods when they know they have people out there? I’m surprised they didn’t all friendly-fire themselves to death in season 1.

Remember when this show was creative enough to do stuff like bio warfare? Good times. What happened to that?

I don’t feel remotely bad for anyone who got sick in this episode either (other than Murphy) because banishing him was Grade A stupid and they deserved what they got.

Speaking of not-shining moments, Bellamy’s (completely unbelievable) desire to shoot Murphy dead in the middle of the dropship is ridiculous. I say unbelievable because he absolutely would not have done it and ridiculous because yet again, hate to say it, but Finn and Clarke are right and Bellamy’s position is silliness. Also really dogmatic in an Ark-like way: we said we’d kill in this circumstance so I guess we gotta do it! Not a rebel king moment for sure.

“After we interrogate him we send him back out in the woods, repeating the exact same mistake we already made and that has led to our secrets being shared with our enemy.” LOL nevermind Clarke’s dumb as rocks too. Who wrote this and why do they hate all the characters?

I am not going to talk about the Harper scene because it’s past midnight and I’m trying to be less of a masochist but suffice it to say most people who talk about this scene could stand to, I don’t know, crazy, out there idea here, actually watch it before spouting off their big mouths. Not that I’m BITTER at all or anything.

Also: Monty’s a slut in the making and kind of sexist, he is bad at minding his own business, I want Jasper’s shoes. I may have Jasper’s shoes, just as low tops.

I lied I am talking about it. The way Monty’s expression changes when Jasper tells him to float himself and his sad “I’m just telling you the truth” IS Monty in a nutshell. You ever wondered what the definitive Monty line is? It’s that one. He has no tact and the emotional intelligence of a brick. It’s the truth so what’s wrong with telling it?? Right???

Also here we have an early example of Jasper (a child with emotional intelligence beyond his years) knowing just how to push buttons and show cruelty. Fuck this was quite possibly the best written character on the show and then they drove him into a ditch and I’m so angry. He simultaneously did a 180 in character, and also stayed IC. That’s like the writing dream.

I want a deleted scene where Bellamy gifts Jasper the tent (also btw to people who were simultaneously Bellamy stans and Jasper haters and who like to point to the bridge scene as a knock against my favorite awkward bisexual: Bellamy thought he did the right thing and actually rewarded him for it so...go float yourself as they say). Because I think Jasper, with his Obvious Bellamy Crush, probably almost fainted.

One minute of Clarke/Raven interaction and I get all on the edge of my seat. They get so little.

Few images more iconic than Clarke crying blood.

This Murphy + Clarke + Bellamy scene is Clarke at her finest, and a good example of Bellamy being all-emotion, no-logic tbqh. He’s sure looking fine though.

The Mountain Man in Lincoln’s notebook...

Clarke is so sneaky and gives no fucks. Telling Bellamy she’ll keep O on the third floor and then immediately sending her back out. I mean, again, smart, but one of those moments when I just sincerely wonder how anyone, even Bellamy, can ever REALLY trust her.

Lincoln wants to go “East, to the sea, then across it.” He’s not...really discussing crossing the Atlantic is he? He’s gotta be talking about a different sea. Does he mean like the Chesapeake Bay?? That’s gotta be it. Also Luna’s rig is most decidedly not in Europe or Africa lol.

Dude I think I might have just seen Manny Jacinto. Wild.

Clarke with her blood-eyes and humongous weaponry firing shots into the air is surprisingly hot; this distresses me.

It’s weird how I technically ship Bellarke and quite hard at that but these flirting scenes, or B knocking out the guy threatening Clarke, aren’t doing anything for me. Perhaps because I’m finding Bellamy rather obnoxious--IC but obnoxious--in this particular ep.

I think when Octavia starts helping the sick delinquents is when she decides not to leave with Lincoln but bounces back to feeling an affiliation with the 100.

This is such a deja vu moment for me but I always laugh at Finn’s “you don’t know me very well.” UH YOU THINK?

I’m sorry but Finn doesn’t get enough credit for the blowing up the bridge idea. I know it ended up being a lot more violent than he wanted it to be (tbh this would have been better if he’d been more staunchly pacifist from the get go and then upset when lives were lost to his plan but whatever)--but it was still a good plan.

I guess I can see how people can interpret Monty’s reaction to Jasper’s “flirting” with Harper as jealousy but IMO this is a stretch because if he WERE interested in her why was his main message to his best friend in the earlier scene “You should fuck that pussy”? The more obvious interpretation is that Jasper, who does not have an interest in Harper, is “flirting” with her to mess with Monty and that Monty realizes that or that Jasper isn’t flirting, just actually being nice (I KNOW! A boy! NICE?!?!?) and Monty is interpreting it as a jab at him because he’s in a sour mood and they’re fighting. Regardless, Harper--a character we have literally never seen before this episode--is literally just a pawn for their relationship growth let’s not forget that.

“That’s cute.”

Finn won’t pick up a gun--probably the best evidence that he’s actively a pacifist. Shame an actively pacifistic character hasn’t really existed on this show after S1.

“The men who built the A-bomb thought they were peacemakers too. How’d that work out for them?” Oh how I miss the idea that this show would consider humanity’s rush to its own self-destruction! Or just frankly the framing of the universe as the after-effect of the real choices we really made and are making in the real world, drawn out to their ultimate conclusions. The ALIE story line is, in this sense, even worse than the atrocity of S4 because the retcon just all but elided humanity’s responsibility for its destruction and that just...boils my blood tbqh.

This scene, where Bellamy tells Jasper to take the shot at the bridge, is a great example of Devon Bostick’s Face. Kid has great bones. (He’s actually real life younger than me so I’m allowed to call him a Kid indefinitely that’s the rule.)

Bellamy falling into the tent = me in law school. Also p. sure Jasper’s immune but Bellamy’s concern is nevertheless touching.

Bellamy and O are no Elliot and Darlene but they have their moments.

The Dramatic Zoom In on Finn’s face when Monty tells him that Raven took the bomb is Grade A Hilarious.

Jasper breaks first in the Jonty fight, as I’m sure he always does. No one holds a grudge like Monty. Or is vicious like Monty. “Why don’t you ask your new friends?” is a touch catty and probably the gayest thing he’s ever done (sorry but the boy is canonically straight and always has been...queer him as you wish, I certainly do, but let’s not pretend it’s an interpretation grounded in the text lol.) (What a tangent.)

This is a good Bellarke scene, though. I especially like Clarke’s “Trust? No. I do believe in second chances though”--a good line to remember when trying to keep her IC. (Though I maintain that the idea of second chances and being less judgmental is something she learned in S1, not a pre-pilot trait; see: Wells); and Bellamy’s “Maybe if we close all the doors the Grounders will think we’re not home” like I love that sense of humor.

They’re so rude about Finn and Jasper. Jasper’s a good shot asshats--he saw those Grounders in the last ep. before Bellamy did so suck on that.

Raven with the hydrazine on the bridge is also me in law school.

Jasper and Monty could have been an iconic couple if only this fandom (and this show) were not so dumb.

While I love this Oppenheimer exchange (Bellamy’s voice lol), it bugs me a little that, first, Clarke didn’t build that bomb, shoot it, come up with the idea, or involve herself in the plan at all so cool your jets sick lady you’re not destroying any worlds, and second, it’s not Oppenheimer, it’s Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad Gita and I don’t know why that’s so important to me to remember but it really really is. Bugs me every time.

The Mountain Men reference. I guess they saw the mushroom cloud and learn of the delinquents through it...but they already shot down the Exodus Ship. How’d they know about that but not the Dropship? And why didn’t they notice the flares? Why is Lincoln so sure that the cloud will do it?

Lincoln’s got some books in there.

Raven’s comparison of Finn rushing to help Clarke versus hesitating about the bomb isn’t really fair tbqh. I mean it doesn’t matter because their relationship is obviously a farce and she needs to cut him loose, and if that’s what it took, that’s fine. But catching someone who’s falling is an instinct and I don’t think it necessarily has much to do with love or devotion. Whereas Bellamy’s question was about the future and there was no immediate someone-will-crack-their-head-open-on-the-ground-in-a-second danger about it. It wasn’t really an instinctual moment in the same way. Still, drop that dead weight my closet lesbian.

“It’s hard running things” is obviously a call back “It’s not easy being in charge.”

WHY AM I STILL AWAKE IT’S SO LATE.