#(jk not actually i don’t want someone to sacrifice their needs for me)
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perfectlyripeclementine · 11 months ago
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if u can resist me when i’m all soft and cozy in the morning and i try to pull you back to bed and i’ve ~accidentally~ let the sheets fall so my hard nipple is lewdly poking out and i’m looking at you like you’re the sunrise and i’ve never before seen the color of dawn do u even love me??
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roonilwazlibweasley · 3 years ago
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The most insulting comment I've ever read. "Ron’s a slacker and treats hermione like shit. Way to normalize bright women settling for undeserving partners, JK. He's less of an achiever than Hermione, who helped Harry more." I want someone to DEBUNK this. #RWDS
thank you for the ask, I'd be happy to debunk this :)
1. Ron is a Slacker
Yes, I suppose you can say that's true. Ron is sometimes lazy when it comes to schoolwork. He doesn't like school, he doesn't like tests, he doesn't like homework. So he's pretty much a normal teenager. People need to stop looking at this as a bad thing - despite his disinterest in studies, Ron manages to get pretty good grades - he got 7 OWLS.
Ron is the type of person to put his efforts into something that actually makes him happy, which honestly, is a pretty good thing. Ron liked Quidditch, so he put his efforts into practicing to get onto the Quidditch team, which he did get onto.
Ron antis definitely tend to over exaggerate his so called "laziness". I mean, Ron was a chess player, an incredibly talented chess player. He beat McGonagall's chessboard when he was 11-12, a whole 58 bloody years younger than her!! You know how much time and effort goes into perfecting chess? It's one of the hardest sports out there.
1. Ron treats Hermione like shit
Yes, Ron has said mean things to Hermione before. But no, let's not make him out to be some abusive, asshole friend. He's not. Let's also not forget that Hermione gave as good as she got, and she has also treated Ron badly.
I think everyone needs to keep in mind that throughout the entirety of the series, Harry, Ron and Hermione, while heroes, were still teenagers. And teenagers make mistakes. They're jealous and insecure, and immature and they sometimes say the wrong things. But they're teenagers. That's what teenagers do. It's perfectly normal. It's also important to note that Ron apologized when he was in the wrong.
Ron has also complimented Hermione on many occasions. For example;
[Hr]: *decorating for the wedding*
[R]: Nice. You’ve really got an eye for the sort of thing.
and
[Hr]: I told you at the burrow, I’ve had the essentials packed for days, you know, in case we needed to make a quick getaway…
[R]: you’re brilliant
3. Hermione settled for someone undeserving of her
How do you define that though? "Undeserving." As if they didn't both love each other.
But most Ron antis say this as a dig to Ron's intelligence, because they seem to think that he "can't keep up" with Hermione. Entirely untrue of course. Let me explain why this is wrong.
JKR herself said: “Well, Hermione initially fancies Ron. But her hopes initially are pretty. . .pretty low. She never tries to make Ron feel better by pretending to be less than she is. Which is why they don’t get together a lot sooner. That’s the reality of life.”
She never tries to make Ron feel better by pretending to be less than she is.
SHE NEVER TRIES TO MAKE RON FEEL BETTER BY PRETENDING TO BE LESS THAN SHE IS.
So just to break it down for everyone:
-> It means by the end of Deathly Hallows, Ron was just as smart as Hermione, if not smarter! This is in no way disregarding his street smarts and academic smarts, it’s just showing his growth in intelligence over the course of the series.
-> It also means that Ron bashers and Ronmione haters were wrong. Hermione would be intellectually stimulated for the rest of her life. But on a side note, that is not what a marriage is about.
4. Hermione helped Harry more / Ron achieves less
I mean, do I really need to debunk this? Ron has achieved plenty. And it's blasphemous to suggest that Hermione helped more - how do you even measure that? Ron has helped and aided Harry in the battle against Voldemort for years. Since he was eleven years old, Ron has made sacrifices for Harry.
When he was in first year, he gave Harry, a stranger on the train, his homemade sandwich. He showed Harry in the ins and outs of the Wizarding world, defended Harry against Malfoy and overall was a brilliant friend. Despite not liking Hermione, he helped save her from the troll.
When he was just twelve years old, he ventured into the Forbidden Forest, facing his greatest fear, just so he could help Hermione.
In his third year, he stood on a broken leg, extremely weak and in pain, in front of a known mass murderer, and offered himself up.
"If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us too!" he said fiercely, though the effort of standing upright was draining him of still more color, and he swayed slightly as he spoke. ... "Did you hear me?" Ron said weakly, though he was clinging painfully to Harry to stay upright. "You'll have to kill all three of us!"
In his fourth year, he let Harry practice spells on him in order to prepare for the Triwizard Tournament.
In his fifth year, he defended Harry constantly against all the nasty rumors, and accompanied Harry to rescue Sirius, without hesitation.
In sixth year, Ron led the group of students at the end of the year who fought against Death Eaters.
And in seventh year, my personal favorite, Ron accompanied Harry along on the Horcrux Hunt. Ron was a pureblood, albeit a "blood traitor" - but still a pureblood. He would've been perfectly safe staying at the Burrow.
In conclusion, Ron Weasley was the best bloody friend anyone could ask for, and Harry and Hermione were lucky to have him.
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malinaa · 3 years ago
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trc rewrite
the secret good trc in our heads co-written by @rosesau 
they’re actually in college :)
ronan’s a criminal justice major just for fun. gansey has smth w history and polisci but on a law track. adam is a psych major and blue majors in fashion design. noah would’ve been undeclared 
this is technically just three books in our heads bc so much of trc is just... useless 
blue is a woc who actually IS a feminist 
ronan should seek HER approval bc she’s just so cool <3
adam gets bitches 
blue and adam kiss. obviously
adam has sexy brown eyes
yk what adam also has sexy scars on his hands <333
this post but we’re making all the genesis symbolism Blatant and Intentional 
blue has friends at school that the readers get to know. she IS like the other girls 
declan lynch is somebody’s favorite . 
that’s for the declan girlies <3
the fox way women actually matter. they HAVE to pass the bechdel test 😭 on god we’re gonna do it 
get rid of the gray man / malory / greenmantle and his wife piper / whelk (replace whelk’s pov with noah’s). no gwenllian either. or artemus sorry blue but no. 
we’re not having a fucking hit man date blue’s mother. 
we’re also just not making blue a tree. like why. why did maggie do that. why did maggie make maura fuck a tree
actually we get alive!noah’s pov instead of whelk and we build up to his death... im about to sob. we are NOT forgetting noah. this is for book 1
book 1 should actually just focus on noah and cabeswater’s existence and blue/adam
it should be a mystery with magical elements. like noah and cabeswater start off as seemingly separate entities but then as the gang finds out more, they realize they’re entangled 
bluesey fuck. they don’t kiss. i mean they kiss pushing daisies style <3
also re: bluesey... their arcs ... we’re gonna make them have parallel arcs where blue’s fine with gansey dying in the beginning and slowly not accepting he’s gonna die. then u have gansey who has faced death and feared it and is trying so hard to run away from it, to someone who wants and asks blue to kiss him. he will walk to death willingly
book 1: instead of gansey seeing glendower in the vision, he sees the same vision as blue... imagine that....
blue has the vision first, then gansey smth smth knowledge being passed from eve to adam smth smth 
blue and adam gets wrapped up at the end of book 1 or the beginning of book 2 at the latest and they kiss in st agnes
we are absolutely murdering adam’s father. robert parrish must die 
what if ronan kills robert parrish ... ahaha jk... unless 😳
book 2 should’ve been: gray man stalks the gang, ronan finds out kavinsky’s a dreamer, ronan wants to protect himself and his friends but then kavinsky teaches him how to dream and ronan’s like. ur fucking insane but ur like fine or whatever and then the gray man targets them both for potentially being graywarens and he grabs kavinsky and ronan saves him in the dream 💆🏻‍♀️ kavinsky is alive. no dragons bc ... what the fuck???? i love a good dragon as much as the next person but cmon... 
TOGA PARTY. BLUE AND GANSEY FU-[gunshots]
at the end there either IS a king that they can ask a favor from but it’s only 1 favor OR . there is no king and we establish that early on n then we just vibe
gansey dies from blue’s kiss and then noah sacrafices himself for gansey and moves on AND THEY REMEMBER HIM. GOD. noah saying “this is my choice. this is my sacrifice.” 
just for funsies we’re gonna make gansey and adam drunkenly hook up. like so true bi kings
this series is about a bunch of repressed el gee bee tees
i’m fixing bluesey. cross my heart. just trust me on this i got repressed pining sexual tension yearning down 
bluesey car scene. drive by halsey. like.... there NEEDS to be more tension ... like kanej-level-several-pages-type-of-tension
bluesey in the car fu-[gunshots again] 
blue get her own mint plant… putting a leaf on her tongue just so she can imagine what he tastes like
also massive love to big noses rip to maggie but big noses are sexy 
any plot points that most readers just do not rmbr... its out love n light 2 maggie
actually we’re sending hatred and darkness. fuck her. weird ass
ok but rly like why was greenmantle and his wife there why was gwenllian there if only to make the 300 fox way girlies a trio again (there are Enough to make a trio already just add one of the younger girlies) why does the gray man have an arc why does he have an arc why is he important what does he even do. every scene with the jesse the guy guarding the cave. What was the reason... actually we are getting RID of the cave. this is why it’s only 3 books instead of 4. like find maura in cabeswater. blue does not need gwenllian to learn more about being a mirror like neeve could’ve said one off handed comment in trb and blue could just suddenly rmbr
seed: WHO is jesse
me: guy who guards the cave 😭
pynch stays the same. maggie has one right for them 
actually wait . this CAN be 4 books. everything that we got rid of is just replaced by bluesey and pynch fucking. 
god more of pynch in the barns.... HELPPPPPPPP 
and for the declan girlies... we get more declan <3 
no bluesey roadtrip... with HENRY?????? sorry to all the henry stans but i dont get him 
the way it would help to actually remember the books but we don’t
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chemicalpink · 4 years ago
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Hii I think it would be really interesting if you could tell about Jungkook soulmate. Like why are they so popular aside from being his soulmate, what makes them special spiritual wise. Because a lot of ppl say this person is super strong and have a pure type of energy. Please share more on that.
Okay, so I actually did more research for this than my actual undergrad thesis.
So first off I wanna say, this is the way * I * see it, from my 15 years of spiritual experience, there is obviously much more to it since astrological aspects and divination in no way defines a multidimensional human being and their connections to people, if you’d like to know something else feel free to ask, I’ll do my best to answer (with my own ethical limits and respectful of the privacy from the ones involved)
OKAY so, a crash course on soulmates, there are a lot of types and they may not present themselves as romantic partners, most of them, especially if karmic, will leave your side once they’ve helped you through something.
It’s kinda tricky to know if someone is your soulmate unless you can do an in-depth synastry analysis, which means knowing exactly the two charts, of course, on a personal level, if you are in tune with your own energy, you can come across people and tell they’re part of your soul family.  
So really, what has surprised me the most about the whole “JK’s soulmate” is just exactly *how* it came to be, did someone did a synastry with their own chart, saw karmic aspects and was like yeah I’m his soulmate, then transformed it into an oh he has a soulmate, or are we starting from this man having no filter and saying that he’s waiting for *the one*?
I really REALLY wanted to trace back to the first-ever post of him having a soulmate, couldn’t find it so all we can go from are tarot readings and really him saying he knows there’s someone out there for him.
Astrologically speaking many people analyze his Juno, but I’d say it’s in general… what he likes in a partner in terms of marriage.
Apart from that, as I’ve said before, all the info on his soulmate derives from tarot readings/predictions and some people that say they channel his higher self.
From my experience, yes, Jeon Jungkook is sure that he has a soulmate, that they are somewhere out there and that he’ll meet them sometime, he’s a big softie (we’ve talked about how he likes to always remind me in my readings that there’s a past-life partner, his true love, his soulmate)
Now, I hate to bring up couple’s therapy but a relationship is between two people, which means that as much as he is longing for this soulmate, this other person is on their own life path, we don’t have a chart for them obviously, so all we got left are general divinations, asking questions, getting answers from either tarot, charms, rods, pendulum, whatever, it is always us asking questions, plus, divination does not provide an accurate answer, they just read between the lines of present energy and provide a most likely outcome to situations.
As I said before, there’s a lot of *in between* information, like, do they know who their soulmate is, are they looking for each other, how is it likely to play out and out there, many people seem to talk about it, especially about this person being a ‘runner’ in the connection, saying that they will make Jungkook wait and a lot of stuff that to me, sounds like they are antagonizing this potential soulmate because let’s get real, Jungkook is a very sought after celebrity, so of course it makes sense to antagonize a potential partner of his.
The thing is, this man has no filter whatsoever, whatever awakening he’s through, he now knows that voicing his opinions on *finding the one* have come to bite him in the ass because there’s a lot of energy shifts, people manifesting him, self inserting themselves on the narrative that they are potential soulmates for whatever reason. I think there’s a blurred line between you know, doing a synastry reading with a celebrity and actually acting upon the astrological aspects, astrology is contextual, a big *most of the time* that is not a rule, so having karmic aspects with someone might mean you’ll get to know them, or it could simply mean that you came across them on their path as artists and they helped a lot through their art. Who knows. The universe knows, so if it’s meant to be, it will be.
Now, my take on the whole info that’s out there on Jungkook’s soulmate, (if they are the one appearing on the readings and not another partner)  from my experience reading for him.
People saying that they are older, mmmm yeah I kinda get where they’re coming from, if you are an intuitive reader, you get the ‘old soul’ vibe from reaching out to the connection, but as always, the universe doesn’t provide the ultimate truth, so I’d stick with *old soul* not older, they could be more mature, could be older, can even go as far as to say they’re more traditional. We don’t have a way to accurately tell.
People saying that they are a foreigner, I honestly- don’t know where this comes from, as I’ve said before, we don’t have an accurate way to confirm, just short term divination which means that whatever outcome people see is most likely from his soon to be partner or current partner, if his soulmate is indeed a soon-to-be partner and foreigner shows up, I mean yeah, could be, he’s an international artist, would make sense for him to fall for a foreigner as much as it makes sense for us foreigners to find him cute (?
That they see each other in astral/ through dreams. Well, I don’t know, I guess they could if they have the right mental space and a lot of spiritual work (? Soulmates are usually hard to reach honestly, cause what’s the point of getting to know them before they can be able to fulfil their earthly deed with you. I’d say that it’s more like the universe giving hints to the connection and not a one-on-one type of thing. Then again, why would you even go as far as to invade their astral privacy and get an answer about it (? Also, I need receipts on how exactly people got this info.
That his soulmate is a runner. Okay first off, don’t go and rummage into other people’s trauma and present it on the internet. A runner is supposed to be one part of the soulmate that is running away from the connection, while fully aware of it for whatever reason. Then again, how could someone possibly reach for some specific higher self if you don’t know who they are (? Entities are tricky, could be some other energy saying they are JK’s soulmate or another person that is manifesting them. There’s no clear way to know that any type of personal/spiritual info is 100% true.
His soulmate is someone spiritual. Probably, soulmates tend to have similar timings to their spiritual journeys, and while we don’t know who they are, we can see Jungkook being attracted to the spiritual so it’s only fair to asume they are too. I’d like to add on a personal note that I would say yeah, they are, and a strong one at that. Not because of any type of divination but because whenever I try to get info on them (by supposing they are a soon-to-be partner, reaching via Jungkook) it is very VERY hard to get an answer.
So in conclusion, please don’t forget that just as there is much more to Jeon Jungkook other than him being part of BTS, there is so much more to him than what the tarot or his chart says about him. It’s always fun to spill some tea on him and any other celebrity, but please remember that neither of those spiritual tools resonate fully with who he is, his preferences, his interpersonal connections or any other matter. They just see what’s there and are the *most likely to be true* answer, no one knows better than ourselves when it comes to personal info. Aside from that sure, perhaps there are ways to tell some deep deep answers about him and his soulmate via very hard concentration and connection processes but really- in this economy (? Why would you do that to yourself, we’re in the middle of a panini why would you sacrifice your mental health like that. Jungkook and his soulmate that he is so much as longing for is a personal connection between the two and sooner or later (ahem I’d say later) they’ll find each other.
With that being said and back on my silly self, all of this doesn’t mean I’ll stop doing love readings for him, I love roasting Jeon Jungkook (within boundaries) because he likes to piss me off constantly reminding me that I’m a lonely potato that has had (and lost) three soulmates.
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krreader · 4 years ago
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dal | enemies to lovers.
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pairing: kim taehyung x idol!reader ; ari x kim namjoon ; miya x jung hoseok fandom: dal ; bts  warnings: big hit girl group member!reader ; sex ; language genre: smut word count: 2k+ other: for more DAL content, please check out the DAL masterlist
summary: you wouldn’t break like your members. not even for a kim taehyung.
a/n: diamond maknae has jk and yoongi, dal will have taehyung and whoever else you decide ehehe. in all seriousness, though, thank you for the request and I hope you wanted the other members to have the whole enemies to lovers thing as well, not just the reader. even though the focus is still the reader, obviously!
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Despite you and Bangtan being from the same company and despite you all now having a fantastic relationship... it wasn't always this way.
Every now and again, you'd still joke about why the dynamic between your two groups was so shitty at first, with you four claiming that it was because they were afraid that someone might throw them off their throne, whereas they claim, it was because you girls were way too overconfident.
Whatever it really was in the end, whether that or something else, your groups didn't like each other much. It was a constant battle of who's better. A battle, that you girls had to fight twice as hard due to their already existing fanbase and yours still growing.
Nevertheless, you four held your ground. And that was the first step of gaining BTS' approval.
“They actually work hard, you know?” Hoseok was the first to ever say these words out loud when Bangtan was having dinner one night.
“Mhm, I think we all know why you out of all of us says that, hyung,” Jimin shoved a spoon full of rice in his mouth, munching on it with a smirk while the rest of the boys were left with confused faces. Hoseok just lowered his head until they could see nothing but his forehead.
“No, we don't,” Taehyung said, “Why do we think that?”
“Do you want to confess, hyung? Or do you want to keep this a secret for a little while longer?”
Well, putting him on the spot like that wasn't exactly 'keeping it a secret'. Hoseok didn't say anything, but he did lean back, a little more confidently and raised his eyebrows at Jimin as to say: “Fine. Spill the tea.”
“Hoseokie hyung has been giving... dancing lessons to Miya. Private dancing lessons. If you guys know what I mean.”
And then a round full of “WHAT?!” and “SHUT UP!” and “NO WAY”'s were shouted into the room.
It was bound to happen eventually.
Even Bang PD had said something like: “Listen... I know that your two groups will probably spend a lot of time together and because of your age and your similar interests... things could... escalate. Do whatever you want to do, but I don't want to find out and neither should the rest of the company. Don't get pregnant and don't let anyone ever find out, then what you do is your business,” to Ari and Namjoon at a meeting for both groups one day.
Funny, that he'd say that to the two of them, since they were the ones that fucked each other first.
“Oh, come on,” you crossed your arms in front of your chest when you walked into Ari's room one day and found Namjoon lying in her bed, “You've got to be kidding me.”
“Fucking knock,” she jumped out of the bed, put on a bathrobe and pushed you out of the room, closing the door behind her, “You didn't see anything, okay?”
“I saw too much, actually,” but hey, good for her. That size wasn't easy to come by these days.
“I mean... don't tell the others, okay? It's not serious, I just need to let off steam and he's the same.”
“How long has this been going on for?”
“I don't know.. a few weeks? What does it matter anyways?”
“It matters, because a friends with benefits relationship that goes on for a long time might evolve into something more. What if you fall for him?”
She snorted that day and told you that it'd never happen.
But when you walked out of the kitchen one day and saw her kiss him goodbye at the door with that lovey-dovey smile, you knew that it had already happened. And from the way he didn't want to let her go, you doubted that it was one-sided.
“You'll forever be my baby sister, right?” you asked Jun one night when you were feeling lonely due to Ari being with Namjoon again and Miya having “gone to dance practice”. At one in the morning.
She wasn't exactly being sneaky here. You just didn't know who it was that she was seeing.
“Of course, I will be,” she snuggled against you and grinned, “Why are you so sad today?”
“Ah, I don't know. When we were announced and had that tension with BTS, it felt like we pushed ourselves to be better, you know? But now it feels like we're starting to lose that goal with Ari and Miya already having gone over to the dark side.”
“The dark side?” Jun sat up and let out a snort, “I think you should finally let go of that hate towards the guys, you know?”
“It's not hate. It's just... competition. Wanting to be better than them.”
“You know, I think the best way at becoming better than them is to learn from them.”
“When did you become so wise?” you furrowed your eyebrows, pulled a pillow into your arms and hugged it tightly. But within seconds, you sat up straight and looked at her with wide eyes, “Oh no... not you too.”
Jun let out a chuckle and got up, “They're really not so bad, (Y/N). Just put some effort into it. You'll be fine, I promise.”
Great.
So now all three of your band members had formed an alliance with one member of BTS. And whether they were just 'passing time' with each other or were actually in a relationship with them didn't matter here. What mattered was that they were no longer enemies.
Only you were left to defend your group.
“Aw, don't you have any friends that will have lunch with you?” Taehyung chuckled as he sat down in front of you, “Then I'll sacrifice myself and eat with you.”
“You're here on your own too, so right back at you,” you narrowed your eyes at him, shoving a piece of kimchi in your mouth.
He looked at you for a second with a half grin, then he started laughing and nodded, “Fair enough.”
“Don't you have to work or something? Thought the world famous BTS never stopped working.”
“Ah, don't be jealous, love. You'll get there in fifteen years, too.”
Taehyung was the worst thorn in your eye for sure. The one that you wanted to slap 90% of the time and the other 10 you caught yourself having thoughts that you really didn't want to have. Not when you fought for your ‘independence’ from BTS for so long.
But hey... he was fucking handsome. No denying here.
“You think I'm jealous of you?” you snorted and got up, “Please, don't flatter yourself.”
You returned your plates and then wanted to make your way back to the studio. Only that once you were in the elevator, someone squeezed in just in time.
“You literally just sat down to eat. What do you want?”
“I asked them to pack it up for me,” Taehyung grinned happily, “Want to hang out?”
“Wh..- Seriously, are you that lonely?”
“Yeah, that's why I want to spend time with you. You're the loneliest person I know.”
“I'm not lonely,” you snorted and crossed your arms in front of your chest, “I have quite a lot of friends. And... lovers.”
Not sure why you felt like you had to add – and make up – that last part, but it unfortunately didn't go over well. Because Taehyung instantly started laughing, way more than was natural.
“Oh, you don't believe me?” you challenged, instantly standing up straighter and taking a step towards him.
It shut him up, but only because he straightened his back too and licked his lips with a smirk.
“Not in the slightest. But hey... convince me of your talents, if you really want to.”
And that was the issue between your dynamic with him. Neither of you wanted to back down and lose to the other.
So you took another step towards him, your boobs now touching his chest and looking daringly into his eyes.
“Like you're worthy of that.”
“I will be,” he leaned down, until his lips were right beside your ear, “If you let me.”
He thought he had you then... but that's why he liked you so much. Because he didn't have you. Not even in the slightest. You just snorted and walked out of the elevator when the doors opened again and he was left there smirking with too tight pants.
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“Oh, isn't this just wonderful, we're having a party,” you said with a sarcastic smile as you walked into your apartment that was filled with not just your members, but BTS members as well, “I guess I wasn't invited. Despite me living here.”
“Don't be such a downer,” Ari said with a heavy sigh, getting up and handing you a drink, “Just sit down and talk to them. Please.”
“No, thank you. I'll just take my leave and wait in my room until everyone is gone.”
Jun got up and wanted to convince you to stay, but you were already on your way and Ari stopped her, shaking her head.
“Just give her time. She'll come around. We all did.”
You were so ready to fall into your bed and sleep, trying to ignore the laughing coming from the living room. 
But when you closed the door to your bedroom behind you, you instantly jumped in shock when you heard a male voice coming from your bed.
“Oh, how fortunate for me. This is your room?”
When you turned around, you found Taehyung literally chilling in your bed, one arm behind his head, shoes off and legs crossed, while the other hand held the remote control and browsed through your Netflix.
“You know, I see a pattern here... a lot of PG18 movies.”
“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”
“Why? I don't want to go over there. They're all making out and being lovey-dovey and it's annoying me,” he sat up and pursued his lips, “Besides. You're way more fun than your members. No offense.”
“Offense taken. They're very funny, actually, now get out,” you tried to pull him out of the bed, but he was stronger than you and pulled you into the bed with him instead.
“Oops.”
He smirked at you while you were now lying on top of him. And suddenly you realized what a game he was playing.
That time in the elevator. It started a war between you two of who could break the other one sooner. Sexually speaking.
Oh, if only you hadn’t mentioned those damned non-existant lovers.
In your mind, you already considered yourself the loser. But on the outside? No way.
“Your lip balm is pressing against my leg.”
He let out a laugh, “Even a lip balm can satisfy the driest lips in the world.”
Oh, that fucker.
“But see, when your lips are already moist because of that newer lip balm that you're using, you don't need the older model.”
“Hm, I understand,” he pushed himself up, both of you now sitting, you still on his lap, “But what if I tell you that it's not actually a lip balm, but a lip gloss?”
“I never liked lip glosses. They're very thin... too little product inside to satisfy my needs.”
Taehyung's grin grew larger by the second and even you had a hard time containing yours now.
“You just need to find the right lip gloss then. One that is thick, holds a lot of product and makes your lips wetter than they've ever been... for hours and hours and hours...”
“Is that a promise?” you looked down to his lips, losing that battle on the outside as well now.
“It's a vow, baby girl.”
And there it was.
The battle was over in less than five minutes.
The two of you made out, got rid of your clothes and Taehyung fucked you better than anyone else ever had, with you literally having to bite into your pillow so that you wouldn't scream.
And when Bangtan wanted to leave an hour later and realized that Taehyung was not with them anymore, they and your band members searched the entire apartment, only to stop in front of your door and hear you... unfortunately.
“Oh god,” Jin grimaced and walked away instantly, your youngest band members doing the same.
But Ari stayed for a moment longer and even considered walking in just to give you a thumbs up.
If only Namjoon hadn't stopped her.
That would have been hilarious.
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hanjo-love · 4 years ago
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Now I became selfish and I hope the shard is showing Hanji being saved by Kiyomi or something. She go the worst treatment and if Isayama was afraid of the backslash like you said why make it even worse with those parallels with eremika? Is he preparing the Fandom for another levihan moment? I'm tired of EVERYONE surviving but her, Kiyomi's kindness really??? And Onyankopon, while I don't hate him, he survived a plane crash and he doesn't add much yet he is there for being the editor's favorite, Yelena is there after all she did and she adds even less, and the people titanized will revert to human (or at the very least Isayama's favorites will).
Oh anonie, you and me both my friend, you and me both 😔 Beware, a long rant-ish meta is ahead of you lol
I have absolutely no fucking idea why Yams decided to treat Hanjo like shit. You know, after a long time of denying her death, I was starting to accept it, because she was finally free, free of the burden and pain and finally reunited with the people she missed and longed for the most. But then Yams decided to slap us all in the faces saying there's no happy & peaceful afterlife in snk and Hanjo was probs only hallucinating because of her 4 years long depression? Well then, fuck you Yams! What was that even for? Isayama never backed off of showing us the horrors of death in snk, no matter how important the characters and how brutal their deaths really were. Still, he never showed us Hanji's actual death or dead body. He kept it misterious and his vague answers only made it worse. So it's only natural for us to expect a plot twist, right? That's the reason all of us gathered various hints in the manga, anime and his interviews. And lemme tell you, these theories are far more logical, better explained and have less plot holes than the entire final arc smh (yes I'm salty, fight me lol)
I hate to admit it, my inner self is still in denial and fighting, but Hanjo ain't coming back folks. We won't get any background story and the misterious shard will never be explained to us either. Yams had more than enough time to bring Hanjo back, if he truly wanted to. But he didn't. And now with only one chapter and so many unanswered questions left, there's no time for Hange's return. Why would he even do that anyways? Hanjo isn't important to him or to the story anymore. To us she is, always was and always will be ❤️ You know, I'm so fucking desperate to see her again, I'll even take one last panel of Levi remembering her, just like in ch136. Yams just let us see Hanjo one more fucking time 🙏🏻 I need to say my proper goodbyes to my one&only comfort character, who's influenced my life like no one else ever did ❤️
Back to Levihan (I don't think I can answer an ask without my biased and trashy shipper ass butting in lmfao): the question why Yams confirmed Levihan as canon if he didn't intend to bring Hange back and reunite her with Levi to make us him happy again? Well, isn't it obvious? This man is the devil incarnate. THIS MAN HAS NO FUCKING CHILLS lmfao JK y'all before someone declares war on me and my blog haha Well anonie, I feel like Yams really wanted to confirm his initially planned ships as canon, before the manga ends. And he chose the safest way possible. Easy as that. Also he said he is going for a bittersweet ending and what's more tragic (in this literal hell) than separating lovers, ergo Eremika and Levihan.
Now to something else, that's been bothering me for a while now and I'll use your ask anonie to share my thoughts with the world even though nobody asked lmao tbh I'm a bit disappointed with Armin. I love him, I really do. He's my precious cinnamon roll and my fave 104th kiddo. But honestly, I was expecting a bit more of the alleged "hero who will safe humanity". In fact, I'm sure Hanjo only died for Armin to become the new commander. That's it. That was the reason she had to die. Yams glossed over her to make Armin shine. But in fact, Levi's the one who's giving orders ever since Hange has left them. I might me salty, but I really hope the talk with Zeke (and probs Ymir as well, we still might have a chance to see the dialog that made Ymir change her mind) and his titan nuke weren't the only things he did as "humanity's hero" in this final arc. For some people this might me enough, for me it isn't. It wasn't worth Hange's sacrifice. Also what made me really sad was Armin himself glossing over Hanjo when he remembered Erwin Danchou, but not her. Like she didn't just pass away an hour ago to save their pathetic asses. Ugh this is making me hella mad, ngl. Hanjo didn't deserve this treatment! She gave her all for this! To save the alliance, to "pay the price" for her "sins" as the SC commander and to save humanity. I can't deal with how all of them and the fandom apparently forgot about that.
Now on to "Kiyomi's kindness" lol I wasn't really mad at Gabi for saying this as most of the fandom was. I won't go into detail why she isn't really a rationally thinking character (yo guys, you do remember she's a 12 year old kid, right?), but it's a fact that she didn't care for Hange enough to mention her. I mean, why would she? She barely even knew her. Also we don't really know what's gonna happen with Yelena, Kiyomi and her delegation. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it, but I feel like Kiyomi accepted her death with saying "that's not enough atonement for what I did anyway". I mean they don't know if the alliance will win (they probably think they won't) and they're in the middle of literally nowhere. So I feel like Gabi said that because Kiyomi sacrificed herself (and the others on that ship) willingly, for Gabi, Falco and Annie getting a little chance of surviving and helping the alliance. But I get the rage of the fandom. Especially because no one, except for Levi, remembered Hange after her noble sacrifice.
As for Yelena and Onyankopon, there obviously has to be someone from outside of Paradis to survive the rumbling, otherwise it wouldn't make a lot of sense, I guess. I like Onyankopon a hecking lot ❤️ precious boi was literally crying for Hanjo 😭 Yelena on the other hand deserves what she got. Death would be too easy and kind for her tbh. She has to live with the consequences, just like Kiyomi, so I'm actually glad they survived. So my guess is, it's not really about who's Yams' favorite and what these people are contributing to the story, but it's rather about a logical ending and a good conclusion of the story.
I agree with you about the ones who have been titanized. They'll for sure revert back to humans. It's not really Yams' style to kill of an important character like Gabi, whose character development he's been forcing on us for quite a while now lol. I'm pretty positive about an ending with the titan curse being broken and bringing the titanized people back to human beings (probs also the millions of colossal titans?). It's only natural for Yams to end the story with the titan curse being lifted. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense to end his story at this point. But let's not forget what a big ass troll Yams is lmao you never really know what he's up to, so let's prepare for the unimaginable lmfao
I'll probably never forgive Isayama for what he did to Hange, his best written character, how he completely ruined her and threw her away as disposable, just to make other characters "shine". HER DEATH WAS POINTLESS AND IT DID NOT FUCKING CHANGE ANYTHING! That's the harsh truth y'all. Yams betrayed Hanjo and us AND FOR WHAT?
Thanks for the ask anonie and sorry I turned this into my personal rant lmao hope you still enjoy reading my thoughts on this ❤️
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adonis-koo · 3 years ago
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The new chapter on wicked was terrific!!
I second the previous ask of wanting JK to suffer a little for being an ass. No pressure tho...I'm eager to see how the story unfolds.
Does our princess get help from someone else? Does she get stronger?
I'm also wondering - being a princess from another country, doesn't that mean her role is also partially diplomatic? So, in the name of preserving relations, shouldn't they ensure people are nicer to her?
And why aren't people from Eunoia checking on her wellbeing? Have they basically abandoned her?
Hahaha no it’s totally understandable in wanting to see the prick suffer just a hair! And who knows! I haven’t written the edited version so maybe I’ll throw in a lil something just for y’all 👻
You pose so many great questions that have me excited to answer! Due to the unique world that this takes place in- and due to the even more unique culture and environment of Penumbra, things look extremely skewed from the way they should be. So let’s dig in!! I can first assure that our princess does get stronger and she does look to others for help as she as in the past when Jungkook fails to see past their as of- poor relations.
In a traditional sense- the answer to MC being a partial diplomat would be yes. But due to the cut off nature of Penumbra, nobody from the outside world and surrounding kingdoms actually know what’s going on inside Penumbra, diplomats and such aren’t welcomed inside and it’s well known in-world that Penumbra doesn’t accept immigrants from other nations.
MC was not apart of the council that decided her marriage and she was not told the terms and conditions that were agreed upon when everything was settled, so while we do not know the ends and outs of how Penumbra is relationally to at the very least Eunoia, it’s hinted at in the second chapter when MC bids Eunoia goodbye that she is very much be abandoned by her people.
Not only this, but due to all the horrendous rumors that have circled around Penumbra- there’s a certain air from other countries that- they most likely want nothing to do worth Penumbra out of fear. Relationally speaking, so long as Penumbra doesn’t wage war on any other kingdom, that’s all the rest of the world wants, MC’s well-being, in the grand scheme of things, is looked at as a ‘necessary sacrifice’ need to be made. MC is aware of this from the very beginning, it’s part of the reason she was so bitter in the beginning.
‘Shouldn’t they ensure people be nice to her?’ Being Crowned Princess means nothing in a court when she isn’t a Penumbrian herself. So long as all formalities are held in the eyes of the people during public events and such. Nobody is going to bat an eye in the court though. Especially due to MC being from the outside world, which is considered almost a taboo to the people of Penumbra (from the court at least). Now we must also take into consideration Penumbra’s own social code- they’re a very blunt and honest people (some might even consider a little cold at times), MC walked out of a bar shit faced drunk and not a single person- commoner or court, had a thing to say about it. They don’t view etiquette and propriety the same way a more traditional kingdom would, this is explored more later in the story.
At this point you can probably piece together why nobody from Eunoia has checked on her- a multitude of reasons- Penumbra doesn’t make exceptions for anyone in the outside world to stay within their realm. This was most likely agreed upon during their negotiations with Eunoia when they were discussing the terms of the marriage- aka rite of peace.
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snakeboistan · 4 years ago
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3-E + KARASUNO + 1-A FRIENDSHIP GROUPS
Just a heads up that I don't really know that much about BNHA. Most of my knowledge comes from fanfics, tumblr posts and my bestie so some of these headcanons might be a bit OOC
Nagisa + Hinata + Midoriya
So I’ve already made posts about Nagisa, Hinata and Mido being the ultimate cinnamon roll trio who are the loves of my life, my sons and if anything happens to them I will kill everyone and then myself
Let me adopt them, please let me adopt them 
I mean it is canon that Mama Midoriya is single right?...jk jk ... unless 👀
These precious babies are literally the sweetest guys ever and everyone’s ultimate hype men
They have their own protection squads and at least five people who have a crush on them (these bois be making people question their sexuality like it’s a past time)
They can also turn feral at any given moment and revert back to normal in a second
They act like its no big deal but they have legit traumatised people before
I know that Nagisa and Midoriya are ✨ notebook buddies ✨ but I like to think that Hinata keeps a volleyball journal like Kageyama (like the adorable boyfriend he is) and shows it off proudly to them and Nagisa and Mido are so proud of their tangerine bestie and they teach him how to make notes and analyse like they do and are just so pure (ILOVETHEMSOMUCHYOUHAVENOIDEA)
It’s a legit hazard to have them in the same place because the intensity of the combined smiles of a baby sunshine crow, baby sunshine snake and baby sunshine bunny can wipe out anyone in a 10 km radius
But what a way to go, am I right?
Also, I’m adding Yamaguchi here because he’s a sweetie who can and will end someone if they try to mess with Tsukki the people he cares about 
Do not under any circumstances try to mess with the trio that is Nagi, Yama and Mido because they know all of your secrets and are not afraid to use that to their benefit 
 Isogai + Daichi + Iida 
Did you mean: Dad Friends
Someone help them
It aint easy being a teen parent but they make it work
Also I’m a total simp for all three of them like Iida is everything I want IDKY I’m not saying its the glasses but its totally the glasses
Can and will do the disappointed dad stare. It is effective.
These three meet up to despair about their schoolmates and within five minutes one (or all) of them is getting a phone call because someone needs to be bailed out of jail
Isogai and Iida are class rep goals just saying
They love their classmates but why are they like this
Daichi: *watching Noya and Tanaka egg on the Terasaka gang to let them connect sleds on Yoshida’s motorbikes and go speed racing down the mountain* I ask myself that everyday
Just...someone give them a vacation and some aspirin because they need it
But not for too long because they are the few responsible ones 
Midoriya: *mumbling* That’s funny considering that Iida tried to murder someone in cold blood 
1-A members not aware of the Hosu Incident (so basically everyone except for Mido, Todo and Glasses Sonic): WHAT?!
Karma: Really? That’s weird. Nagisa tried to do that as well
3-E members that didn’t confront Takaoka: WAIT WHAT?!
Karasuno: *paling* who the f*ck are these people…
 Fuwa + Nakamura + Kiyoko + Ashido + Aoyama
The ultimate shippers
Listen, look me in the eyes and tell me that Shimizu Kiyoko doesn’t ship her team and that she does not have a group chat with all of the other managers where they gossip about who’s dating who. Look me right in the eyes and tell me that does not happen.
These people know all of the gossip 
Well actually Nagisa knows all of the tea in 3-E but Fuwa is a close second
Ultimate wingpeople 
 Kataoka + Ennoshita + Momo
I don’t want to say mum friend but they are the most responsible ones if Isogai, Daichi and Iida aren’t around
They are beings to be feared, you dont wanna cross them
There was once a time when all three of them are angered and everyone still has emotional scars to this day
The only ones who can control the chaos
Can also smack talk people like a pro
Have soft spots for the cinnamon rolls
Just imagine the three of them sitting around one of those circular umbrella tables outside of a cafe wearing matching sunglasses and drinking smoothies out of a straw as they judge everyone
 Kimura + Hinata + Kageyama + Kirishima
GYM BUDDIES
Listen, there are athletes and there are athletes™
These boys are the latter 
They race all of the time
I’m not kidding
Everything is a race
Arm wrestles galore
 Hazama + Tsukishima + Tokoyami
Masters of snark
Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you
Hang out with each other to get away from the stupidity of everyone around them
Hazama and Tokoyami are just chillin’ talking about demonic sacrifice and Tsukki’s like ‘you guys are more tolerable than the feral children I’ll stay here’
Literally have no cares at all
If you approach them they will make you cry
 Chiba + Hayami + Kageyama + Todoroki 
The chill kids
All they do is vibe in the background
They’re entire friendship is just *blank stare* *eye contact* *small nod*
And you know what? That’s valid
Are also totally willing to hide a body 24/7
Todo convinces the other three that his theories are legit
 Terasaka Squad + Nishinoya + Tanaka + Bakusquad
CHAOS
That is it
Do I need to go on?
 Kurahashi + Kouda 
Soft bbys
Would die for them
Go on bug hunting expeditions
Hang out at petting zoos
Kurahashi has fallen in love with Kouda's bunnies as she should 
Are proud parents of every single furry and crawlie critter on the E-Class mountain
Dont worry Nagisa gets to keep his snakes
Go to pet stores and animal shelters
pure cinnamon rolls
 Maehara + Tanaka + Nishinoya + Kaminari
Best hype men
Praise each other like no other
Maehara and Calamari keep on getting annoyed because everyone keeps on pretending to not be able to tell the two apart
They can it's just that it's fun to mess with them
 Karasuma + Ukai + Aizawa
The ‘I came here determined not to get attached and now I’ve adopted a gang of teenagers’
Are literally one second away from becoming alcoholics
Are constantly ready to ‘subtly’ brag about how their students are improving in training 
Karasuma and Aizawa go over sparring procedures and Ukai is just like ‘your students have WEAPONS?!?’
Tsundere but parents
Best Dads
They love their kids 
But dont tell anyone that
It’s okay they know anyway
Will deck anyone that hurts their chaos children in any way
 Koro-Sensei + Takeda + Yagi 
PROUD PAPAS
THEY LOVE THEIR KIDS SO MUCH
THEY CAN SPEND 1284720 HOURS BRAGGING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR KIDS STUDENTS ARE
HAVE WALLETS WITH THEIR PHOTOS IN THEM Yagi’s is just 20+ pictures of Midoriya but shhhh
*Todoroki’s conspiracy theory senses tingle*
They could be at the groceries but they’ll still find a way to brag about their kids
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yourfinalbow · 3 years ago
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hi lol this is totally random but based on a harry potter post you just reblogged and you can completely ignore me if you want, but do you think snape deserved better, or are you a quote unquote "snape apologist"? I'm genuinely curious cuz I've come across a lot of different opinions on severus. Again, feel free to ignore :)
This ended up way longer than it needed to be, and I apologize for that lmao.
Hi! Hmmm I have many mixed opinions on this. First we have to talk about which Snape. Book!Snape is actually kind of an asshole, and not in the fun way. (Way more than I remembered.) But but but Alan Rickman!Snape I like a lot.
And no I'm not mentioning Snape from TCC. That was not Snape and that world was not Harry Potter.
Snape is an interesting character because of how flawed and layered he is.
(Putting a cut because it's so long, and tw for non-detailed mentions/reference to abuse, as well as both trauma and death.)
He wasn't born in a very good household, which I can definitely see as being a reason for why he is who he is. (A reason, not an excuse. Those are two extremely different things.) You look at Sirius, who also came from a horrible household, yet he managed to dig himself out of the mud and make his own path for himself. (Though I have many angsty headcanons for the thoughts he has and being afraid of what he will do and in turn his own mind. WolfStar solidarity. Neither one of them know what they are truly capable of, and both are completely afraid to find out.
Ahem sorry I got a little distracted there.
During the Marauder's era, Snape wasn't a good person in general, but he tried to be nice to Lily. (One of the only exceptions he made.) That being said, (sorry, going on a tangent again), it does not excuse what the Marauders did. As much as they are, in my humble opinion, JK's greatest creation, they should be held accountable for both the prank, and dangling Snape upside down. (Though Remus does make a few good points in their defense later, it's still not an excuse.) Two wrongs never make a right.
Snape doesn't deny Lily's claims at him wanting to join a supremacy group, nor does he say he isn't friends with Death Eaters.
It's clear through the flashbacks we're given that Snape is apathetic in the face of innocent people dying, but once again Lily is the exception.
Dumbledore defends Snape by saying it wasn't his fault that Harry's parents are dead. I actually semi-agree with this. On one hand, he was directly at fault, but on the other hand he had no way of knowing. As a severe Loki apologist, I do not blame Loki for Frigga's death. He may have led the dark elves to her, but he didn't know it was her she was sending them to. That's the comparison I make in my mind, and so I don't completely blame him like other people do. (One could also make the argument that Sirius is to blame. Sirius, who is 100% my favorite character in the entire franchise, gave the secret keeper job to Peter, thinking it would be safer with him. However, he had no ill will or malicious intentions towards Lily, James, and Harry, so I don't blame him.)
All that being said, Snape not only would have been fine with random people dying, he also didn't care whether or not James and Harry lived.
For context:
(Dumbledore is speaking, right after Snape comes to him for help.)
"You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child?" They can die, as long as you have what you want?"
Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore.
He has a strange relationship with Lily. He obviously loves her, but not enough to want to stop Voldemort from killing the two things that bring her the most amount of happiness. It's clear he doesn't care about anyone except for Lily. Which on some level, I can understand why. When people have traumatic childhoods, they tend to hold on to a person that was there for them. Sometimes it can be the hands of the person who caused them pain in the first place, but other times it is another person who was there for him. He holds Lily's opinions of himself higher than anybody else, and he holds Lily above anybody else, and I think this can be attributed to some sort of trauma response, which is why his love for her is so unusual. That doesn't mean I think he should be fine with killing innocent people.
On the topic of trauma, I think joining the Death Eaters was another response to this, as well as a result of what kind of family he had.
Similar to both Harry and Voldemort, Snape much preferred Hogwarts to where he lived, and such the castle became his home more than his house ever was.
The Death Eaters could offer him something he had never been offered before. He belonged to something. In his own, twisted, traumatic mindset, he might have even almost seen the Death Eaters as a family. Not consciously of course, but there was definitely a feeling of belonging they gave him.
And there's something to be said about the fact that many serial killers in real life come from an abusive family. I don't pretend to understand the minds of someone who can do something so vile, but I have watched enough Criminal Minds episodes to know what they long for is control.
So being apart of this supremacy group, even though he was a half-blood himself and undoubtedly didn't entirely share Voldermort's racist beliefs, gave him both control and something he belonged to.
It's not an excuse, but it's a reason.
Alternatively, you can look at it through a quote from the most recent episode of Loki.
"It's part of the illusion. It's a cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear."
So it's also possible that when he was a kid, he thought being a villain was the only way to prevent others from being one to him.
Ok sorry, back on the chronological track.
So he agrees to change sides and work with Dumbledore. (Who must see just how distraught Snape was over Lily's death, to trust him immediately.)
Snape spends most of Harry's time at Hogwarts humiliating his own students. He particularly calls out Harry and his friends a lot, but I can definitely see this being a defence mechanism. He assumes Harry is James and reverts back to what we talked about earlier. (Becoming the villain so nobody else has a chance.)
But but but, he does a lot of good throughout the books. Snape mutters the countercurse, saving Harry from Quirrell during the Quidditch match. He then actually referees at the next match, preventing anything from happening altogether.
In retrospective, we see that he spends most of the first book helping Dumbledore by protecting the stone, and helping Lily by protecting Harry.
Now I could go through and list the goods and the bads of Snape throughout the entire series, but I have neither the time nor the patience, and I think you get the point.
(Except I would like the mention that Snape becomes a double agent for Dumbledore in book four, and risks his life every single day by constantly betraying Voldermort, and never once does he use this as a way to double cross Dumbledore. This was actually probably really hard on him. You can assume that having to pretend to be a Death Eater means he had to do some despicable things just so he didn't blow his cover. If he really has changed by this time, which I would like to think he has, is a lot of added guilt to live with.)
(I would also mention that he tried to save Sirius in book five, but... *falls on floor dramatically* I don't want to think about it.)
Severus Snape's time comes to the end in book seven. At the hands of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, his death is a valiant act of sacrifice. Protecting the living and defending the honour of the fallen.
So, he has done a lot of bad in his lifetime, but by the time we as readers get to know him, his fundamental set of beliefs have begun to change. Through the eyes of what started as an eleven year old boy, you can definitely see that even after this he wasn't necessarily a good person.
And that's because his good is behind the scenes. He's good on a larger scale. He's chosen the light over darkness, but in his everyday life he's still the scared, traumatized little kid he's always been.
And him being this way has reasons, but these reasons are not excuses.
Sorry anon, this kind of turned into a long winded review of the entire character. I know that's not really what you asked, so I'll sum it up in a final few sentences sentence.
Yes. I wish Snape had gotten to live. Not because I'm necessarily a "Snape apologist", but because I find his character interesting, and seeing his reaction to his sacrifice could have been a really good read. Also Harry coming up and thanking him would have been really touching, and as a cherry on top maybe we could have gotten to read Harry apologizing for his father. Maybe even Snape sharing memories of Lily?! (Sorry that might have gotten a little to fanfic-y.)
That being said, his death being a final sacrifice towards the good of everyone, and a final testimony to his change of heart, was -- and I'll give JK credit just this once -- good storytelling, and a good way to end it.
Also I like movie!Snape because fuck yeah he's just so awesome.
If anyone has anything to add/take away, or they just want to discuss the wonder that was Alan Rickman, let me know! (Ask/Comment/Reblog/Etc.)
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alexandra-again · 3 years ago
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On allyship and personal trauma
Trying to avoid racism and be an anti-racist ally are very important to me, but they often seem to clash with my own personal trauma and needs. My need for freedom and self-expression often seem to clash with the issue of cultural appropriation, which, blatant stereotypes and caricatures aside, means that you can be racist and hurt POC merely by wearing the wrong thing, or expressing yourself in the wrong way. I don't necessarily understand where the line is. I know that POC tend to have it even worse, and the general response at least from some Black people seems to be "it sucks not being able to wear/do whatever you want, but it's even worse for us, so deal." But a world where everyone, of any race, is free to express themself without any kind of punishment or persecution, seems to be treated as an impossible dream. I have also been constantly punished and deprived of empathy throughout my life, so I really need empathy, and tend to be emotional. This seems to clash with the issue of "white tears", and the need for white people to decentre ourselves and our own feelings. I have to stoically accept myself as the aggressor/oppressor rather than the victim, even while personally triggered. It's difficult to accept accountability in a state of triggeredness. Contempt for "white fee-fees" has also been a problem for me, as has my self-sacrifice schema. I'm scared of being horribly racist if I don't give up things I love, even "just in case", or if I like imperfect/problematic people or things, that failing to come down hard enough is excusing racism. I feel accountable to every single POC, even if they'd probably never like me anyway. I saw one Black person saying that HP Lovecraft is just as bad as JK Rowling, even if he's long dead, because he continues to influence the alt-right and other racists. When a white person argued that fighting living bigots is more important than "worrying over whether someone's tentacle monster was influenced by" Lovecraft, the Black person described their argument as "incredibly disrespectful to Black people", and also said that "I lost interest when I learned that you're white". I'm scared of having to give up anything influenced by Lovecraft, because that would reinforce his prominence and hurt his victims even more. But idk what's actually expected of me, with one other Black person saying that "(Lovecraft's) influence needs to end", but this person also liking Lovecraft-influenced media and monsters. And there's also Lovecraft Country and The Ballad of Black Tom. But I feel that I can't let myself make mistakes, because mistakes make me an oppressor.
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awed-frog · 5 years ago
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“The big flaw with this is that it completely misunderstands who JK Rowling is and why she wrote the books. Simply put, this novel is a Christian tale. You miss that, you miss the entire point of everything it has to say.” Elaborate? Sounds interesting and I haven’t heard that before.
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Well - I love this to bits and sort of wrote my thesis about it, so here we go.
Basically, you’ve got several kinds of heroes, but ‘left-wing hero’ is almost a contradiction in terms (more on this later). There’s your average Greek hero, whose status as a hero is more of a social class than it is a job and who generally doesn’t have any morally redeeming qualities (have you met Theseus?). Then there’s the medieval Christian hero - he comes in different flavours, but what’s relevant here is the Perceval model: basically the village idiot, whose only power is his good heart and who has no desire to challenge the status quo (because kings are divinely ordained and also poets tend to work for them, so ‘That vassal guy of yours has rescued yet another damsel’ story is going to be better received than ‘Your tax system is corrupt and this knight will now implement direct democracy’). Next you have the modern superhero, who was born in a very different historical context (the vigilantism of 19th century US) and as such has very different priorities. Namely: in his world, there is no higher authority and it’s up to him to use his superior skills to be judge and executioner so he can protect the most vulnerable. This understandable but toxic narrative will later get mixed up with WW2 and then the rampant capitalism of the last 30 years, resulting in the current blockbustery mess.
Anyway - if you’re a Western writer, it’s basically impossible to escape these three shaping forces we’ve all grown up with (classical Antiquity, Christianity, and US-led imperialism/capitalism), so most books and movies of the last forever decades can be analyzed through this lens. In the case of JK Rowling, what you have is a Christian author who openly used her YA series to chart out her own relationship with God. This is not a secret, or a meta writer’s delusion, or anything: she’s discussed it in several interviews. Her main problem, which is most believers’ main problem, is how to reconcile her faith in a benevolent God with the suffering in her daily life; and something she’s mentioned more than once is how her mom died when she was 25, and how this was very much on her mind especially when she was writing Deathly Hallows.
Now, I don’t want to write a novel here, so I won’t analyze the entire series, but what it is is basically a social critique of British society, mixed up with Greek and Roman elements in a cosmetic way only, and - crucially - led by an extremely Christian hero. 
In every way that matters, Harry Potter is a direct descendant of Perceval: he’s someone who’s grown up in isolation as the village idiot (remember how he was shunned by other children because he was ‘dangerous’ and ‘different’), randomly found a more exciting world of which he previously knew nothing (he’s basically the only kid who gets to Hogwarts without knowing anything about the magical world, just like Perceval joined Arthur’s court after living in the woods for 15 years), and proceeded to make his mark not because of his innate powers or special abilities (he’s average at magic, except for Defence against the Dark Arts), but because he’s kind and good and humble. And in the end, he willingly sacrifices himself so everyone else can be saved: a Christ-like figure who even gets his very own Deposition (in the arms of Hagrid, the closest thing to a parent his actually has). 
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(This, by the way, was the only reason why Hagrid was kept alive. JK Rowling had planned to kill him, but she absolutely wanted this scene - one of the most recognizable and beloved image in Christian art - in the books.)
And even if he ultimately survives his ‘death’ (like Jesus did), Harry refuses the riches and rank he was surely offered and chooses to spend his days in middle-class obscurity as a husband and father (if I remember correctly, Harry and Ginny’s house isn’t even big enough for their three kids). And no, of course he doesn’t stand for anything or challenges the status quo: that’s not his job. His job, like Jesus’, was to defeat evil by offering himself up in sacrifice; and the entire story - especially the last book - is a profound, intimate, and very moving reflection on faith.
(“Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's”, remember? It’s not your job to change anything in the temporal, material world; your job is to nurture your immortal soul and prepare it for the true life that comes after death.)
Like - I don’t know how it was for younger readers, but for me, reading Deathy Hallows as an adult, it wrecked me. Even as an agnostic, I read it over and over again, and I kep finding new meaning in it. The whole thing is basically a retelling of the Book of Job, one of the most puzzling and beautiful parts of the Old Testament. That’s when Harry’s faith in God Dumbledore is tested, when his mentor, the cornerstone of his world, disappears; when Harry has to decide whether he’ll continue to believe in this absent, flawed figure despite all the bad things he keeps uncovering or give up his faith - and thus his soul - completely. The clearest, most startling moment exemplifying this religious dilemma is when Harry decides not to go after the wand. Getting it is the logical thing to do, the only way he can win, but Harry - while mourning Dobby - decides not to do it. That’s when he recovers his faith, and starts trusting his own kindness and piety (whatever happens, he will not defile a tomb) over everything else.
Another key moment is King’s Cross - here, and once more, Harry forgives his enemy, thus obeying Jesus’ commands. He sees Voldemort, the being who took everything from him - and he pities the pathetic, unloved thing he’s become. This is what sets him apart from everyone else and what makes him special: not his birth, not his magic, not some extraordinary artefact - but simply, like Dumbledore puts it, that he can love. After everything that’s bene done to him, he can still love; not only his friends, but his enemies. He forgives Voldemort, he forgives Snape, he forgives Malfoy, he forgives Dudley; and I see so many people angry about this, ranting about abuse victims and how hate is a right, but I think they’re missing the point. This is a Christian story; from a Christian perspective, your enemies need love more than your friends do. 
(“It is not those who are healthy who need a physician” and all that.)
And in any case, a hero is inherently not left-wing. The whole trope relies on three rock-solid facts: the hero is special, and he can do something you can’t, and that gives him the right or the duty to save others who can’t save themselves. Whether it is declined in its Christian form (the hero as self-sacrificing nobody) or in its fascist form (the hero as judge and king of the inferior masses), that is is the exact opposite of any kind of left-wing narrative, where meaningful change is brought about not by individual martyrdom or a benevolent super-human, but by collective action.
So, yeah - Harry changes nothing and is not the leader of the revolution, but it’s unfair to link this to JK Rowling’s politics. It’s just how the trope works. And, in fairness to her, many kind and compassionate authors who write books concerned with social justice tend to lean towards this kind of hero because the only workable alternative - the fascist super-hero - is way worse. Had Harry been that, for instance, he would have ended up ruling the wizarding world. Would that have been better for its democracy? A 19-year-old PM who knows nothing about the law or justice or diplomacy? A venerated war hero drunk on power? Instead, JK Rowling chooses the milder way out: Harry and his friends do change the system - little by little, and within the limits of the genre. Hermione becomes the equivalent of a human rights lawyer, while Harry and Ron join the Aurors (and I know there’s a lot of justified suspicion towards law enforcement, but frankly having good people in their ranks is still the only way to move things forward. It’s been years and I still haven’t heard a practical suggestion as to how a police-less nation would work). As for the government, it is restored to a fairer status quo - again, not the revolution many readers wanted, but also not the totalitarian monarchies or oligarchies or the super-hero’s world.
And as to how one can write a story that’s actually revolutionary - I don’t exactly know. Some writers rely on multiple narrating voices to try and escape the heroic trope; others work on bleak stories which point out the flaws in the system and stop short of solving them. I guess that, in the end, is one of the problem with left-wing politics: they’re simply less eye-catching, less cinematic. On the whole, it’s dull, boring work, the victories achieved by committees and celebrated with a piece of paper. From a literary point of view, it just doesn’t work.
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middle-class-trash · 3 years ago
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Rise of the Titans liveblog!!!
that intro made me unexpectedly emotional
So if Blinky is narrating, he can't die, right? Right????
BRO THE SUBWAY SCENE!!!! We're getting right fuckin into it!!!
Steve, my son!!!
I wish Toby wasn't a constant punchline 🙃 it just makes me not take his character seriously
CLAIRE!!!!!!
Something about Douxie decking Skrael at the first opportunity is just so sexy of him
Jim is incredibly brave but it's really reckless to go hand-to-hand with a demigod without proper armor
My heart goes BUMBUMBUMBUM when Douxie looks out the traincar window
Sexy traincar tracks spell WHO
THE WRECKAGE AWWWW
Oh my gosh the people stuck in the magic circle because they wouldnt get out of the way
NO NO NO DOUXIE NO
So they were arrested that early?? Jeez
Nari's such a cutie
"None of us will be talking to you" *cut to Toby spilling every bean*
TOBY'S FACE AT THE END HAHHAHAHA
Something about Nari's voice coming out of Douxie's body is so deeply odd
Oh hey, Krel to the rescue
AREA 49 HAKSHDKSKD
"And your mom."
Oh my gosh he's still broken from Wizards 😂
The Guardians are just dead set on pissing off local authorities huh
JIM!!!
STRICKLER?????
BARBARAAAAA
Stricklake supremacy 😌 they both look so good
Claire listening in 😭😭😭 she's so cute
AWWWWW ENGAGED ENGAGED ENGAGED
......does that give them death flags? Fuck. Fuuuuck fuck fuck fuck. It totally does.
AWWW DOUXIE!NARI HUGGING ARCHIE
Aja!!!!
Your majesty!!
Oh yikes, here's that running gag everyone was talking about.. pregnant Steve
Oh hey, Eli's hot now. We been knew 😂
"Mazel tov!" HAHA
Poor Jim needing a bunch of support to walk 🥺 he's such a trooper
I will simply pass away if Blinky dies
I hope Douxie is okay, we haven't seen him in Nari's body and that makes me ✨nervous✨
OH JKJK
Nari is so goddamn pretty
"Only your presence, not your commitment" is such a rapey saying
"Abra-cadabra, buttsnacks" I love that he still says that 🥺🥺 he loves his friends so much
"Do your worst" *cue both Douxie and Nari absolutely screaming in pain*
Krohnisfere? Alrighty then, that's the first mission
"I wouldn't be so sure of that" AWWW
They fixed the amulet???? DUUUUDE
"For the good of all..." 😭😭😭😭
"Or I could lock onto Nari and portal us there" *dead fucking silence*
I hate how Toby's used as a constant punchline.. a penny? Really?
TRAINTRACK MAGIC CIRCLE GO BRRRR
Poor Nari 🥺 Douxie's in so much distress
Oh no, the new amulet isn't working?? Fuckk
That absolutely gorgeous screencap of pissed Aja
Part of me is glad Nari was forced to do this and wasn't actually a traitor
Ice titan awakening sequence? Ice titan awakening sequence.
Oh Nari. Oh sweetie
Oh my gosh she's fucking tied to her titan
Boiling water!!! Or underwater explosion, that works too. Much more dramatic but that's Bellroc's style
Oh wow Steve actually has a bump?? What the fuck???
Oooh, TrollDragons?
Charlie!!!
"We still don't have a trollhunter" Aja, honey, not helpful
"Does he even trust himself? AJA, HONEY, NOT HELPFUL
Barbara being proud of her son 😭😭
OOH fusing excalibur with the armor?
Aja is so full of confidence, it's a good look for her
Steve being preggo is..really fucking weird. When they said
AWWW BLINKY AND AARRRGHHH
Your honor, I love them
OOH IS IT SOFT JLAIRE TIME
Ohhhh it's soft Jlaire time
He's always looking out for his mom 🥺
"I will always be here (head), and here (heart)" just fuck me up fam
Charlie!!!
Zong-Shi?
"Only death will come to those who go looking for it" oh dear
"The troll with many eyes" how does Charlie know Blinky? 😂
AYYY this where the banner that I found first is from!!! it was so cool seeing my screenshot circulate when we were starved for content 😂😂 everyone was posting various rott icons and banners that they got hoping they'd find a new one
Oh dear.. government
Blinky dear they can't understand you
"Holy frijole" Claire I simply adore you
WOW THAT'S PRETTYYYYY
Troll slaves???
So is Zong-Shi this ugly ass pear-lookin ass
Aja chilling with Jim even though she has doubts is an interesting strategic choice
Douxie, AARRRGHHH, and Nomura? Talk about rarepare
NOMURA CATCHING HIM 😭😭 SEXYYYY
DOUXIE RESCUING NOMURA 😭😭😭😭 SEXXYYYYY
If I havent said it yet, the animation is breathtaking
OH SHIT JIM
aaaaand here come those frozen wings
Nari cant be in control of herself, there's no way. She's still tied to the titan for Pete's sake
NOMURA????
Please dont let this be a sacrifice
PLEASE NO
BOTH CHANGELINGS????
STRICKLANDER??????
No on-screen death, so it's not real. No on-screen death, do it"# notbsmejelreal
NO ON-SCREEN DEATH BUT IT'S NOT REAL
THEYRE TALKING AHOUT HIM PAST-TENSE NOOOO
THEY RBOGUHT UP HIS DADDDDDD
"There's no revelation I can give you" is a great way of saying he's not relevant, genuinely
Oh wow this guy's freaky
Ohhhh so the green thing from the trailers and promo photos is the Krohnisfere
Archie to the rescue!!!
"That's my boy!" AWWE
"Claire nooo, no no no no YESSS, I'm free!!!" Blinky, never change 😂
Oh wow, they're already in contact with Bellroc's titan??
Different note, but the titan's designs are just different enough to make them interestun
VARVATOS??? Okay jk somehow it's gun robot lmfao
WAIT NEVER MIND HAHAHAH HI BUD
....if the bridge falls, can't Charlie just fly them across
LMAO he just saw his death?? That is what he wanted to see 🤷🏻‍♀️
It's too early to celebrate, there's no way Bellroc is down after just a few pinches
Yeahhh
Oh dear... is Varvatos in danger?
Claire being the warrior of the group is incredible and sexy and hhnnngggg
Toby is a Hufflepuff. I will not be answering questions
OH WOW THAT'S HOW HE BURNED HIS HAND??? THE HONRGAZEL?????
ARCHIE SAID GOODBYE??? NO NO NO NO NO
Douxie's gonna be a flat mess!!!
God, plus Nomura and Stricklander
NOOOO DOUXIE YOU BIG SWEETIE
Oh my gosh this is the scene with Douxie trying to connect with Nari, it has to be
"I need to try again" AWWW HONEY
That shot of Mexico was incredibly stereotypical
DOUXIE SWEETHEART 🥺🥺
He's trying to hold her hand???? AWWWW
Oh my gosh he's being choked 😳
NARI BABY!!!!
The huggos 🥺🥺
Jim being frustrated is totally realistic
Wait wait wait waittt do they have the entire titan at their disposal?
"There's absolutely nothing all the way out here" cue a titan. Any of them.
And there it is.
CLAIRE SUPREMACY!!!!!!!
White haired Claire? White haired Claire???
Oh dear it's like.. a little over halfway and there's so much left that could happen
COACH. COOOOACH
OH THANK GOD!!! Steve doesn't need another paternal figure dying on him
Time for Skrael to fuck shit up 😬
I find it interesting how Bellroc and Skrael's titans are both bipedal but Nari's is on four legs, much more animalistic
NARI, NOOOOO PLEASE NO
At least Skrael's done????
We kinds knew Bellroc was the final boss but NOT LIKE THIS
DOUXIE SCREAMING FOR HER
NOOOOOOO
No more running. GODDAMNIT
The three can no longer unite but Bellroc can still fcuk shit up
A HIDDEN PAGE??? FUCK THE WORLD IS TO BE REFORGED WITH FIRE
THE HEARTSTONE??????
Oh shit, the explanation for why Arcadia's the center of everything!!
The only heartstone?? Really???? That's scary as shit, trolls could go instinct without a reliable hearthstone!!
EXCALIBUR TIMEEE
JIMMMMMM
Come on honey, you can do it!!
Aja, honey, I love you so much but now's not the time
THE HEARTSTONE???? FUCK DUDE
.......Steve
Eli the midwife?? ...gross
Jim, my love, my baby boy!!!
The nine of them!!!
AWW BLINKY BEING THE BEST DAD
THEY WORK TOGETHER 😭😭😭😭
FUCK YEAH!!!!!!
"Quiet desperation" is a great word for it
Are we coming on to the big final battle?
Ohnoohnoohno they all said the thing 😭😭😭 someone's gonna die. At least one more is gonna die.
HE'S DRIVINGGGG. LOVE THAT FOR HIM
STICKY SPELL TIME!!!!!!
"Some sort of stickum!" Bro 😂😂
I love how he calls them all Trollhunters 😭 throwback to the OG show where the three of them were all called that
Aja Terron supremacy
Oh it's weird.. it's very weird. Why did Steve have to be pregnant again
Oh dear, there's half an hour left.. this has to be the final battle
JIM
Varvatos shielding Claire and Krel 🥺
Fuck, man, people are getting thrown left and right
DOUXIE MY LOVE
Oh here we fucking go, rematch
NEW AMULET???
Jim's about to get royally fucked up
LIKE THAT
FUCK
WHY IS SHE TAKING HIM??? GOD NO
Anti-magic beacon??
Helloooo that's smart asf
This gives Mount Doom vibes
"Embrace your loved ones for the final time" FUCK MAN STOP IT
"I already was" DAMN RIGHT BUD
NEW AMULETTTT
GO GET JIM GO GET 'IM
DAYLIGHT ARMOR!!!!!!
He was ready to just sacrifice himself like THAT
DAYLIGHT ARMORRRRR WITH EXCALIBUR??????? FUUUUCK
Jim being great at combat is just the best fucking thing
Oh fuck. OH FUCK.
STABBED??????
PLEASE NO, GOD NO
FUUUUCK
"I'm powerless" "You get used to it" WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT
JIM HONEY PLEASE DONT DIE
Is that....is that it?? Oh dear god, is that it????
JIM WHERE ARE YOU
I'm calling it now it's too early to be celebrating
Oh god the weird babies
WHERE IS TOBY
WHERE
NO
MY JAW FUCKING DROPPED
NO WAY, NO FUCKING WAY
HE'S GETTING A DYING MONOLOGUE??????
ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE
"Itll be the two of us at the end" WHY DOES THAG SEEM LIKE JIM WILL GO OUT TIO
THERE'S NO WAY TOBY JUST DIED
THHERE'S NO WAY
That was sad as fuck but in a narrative way I hope it's permanent
Oh dear, Jim's going back????
Oh shit
WWHAT IS HE DOING
NOOOOO
"I have cherished every moment with you" STOP IT HE'S HIS FATHER
"I FYOU WERE MY OWN SON" STOPPPPPP
WHAT'S HAPONEINGGGGG
CLAIRE
NOOOO
THIS IS WHERE IM SOBBING
THIS IS WHERE IM LOSUNG IT
"Dont give up on me" FUCK STOPPPP
"I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE AND HERE" FUCK IT STOPPPPP
"I would date you for a hundred lifetimes" IS REALLY BEING TESTED HUH
THERE ARE 10 MINUTES ELFT WHAT THEBFUCK
AND WE'RE BACK TO TROLLHUNTERS?.????
HUHHHH
Fuck, man. FUCK, MAN.
Oh, Toby. Ohhhh Toby
CLAIRE 🥺
ROMEO AND JULIET!!!!
Oh my fucking god
"IF YOUD COME OVER TO DINNER" AYYYYY
His smile at Steve 🥺
HE'S HAVING TOBY TAKE THE CANAL???? But wouldnt the amulet still call for Jim?????
"Nothing interesting ever happens in Arcadia" VERY FUCKING FUNNY
Destiny is a gift. Some go their entire lives living in an existence of quiet desperation, never learning the truth- that what feels as though a burden pushing down upon our shoulders is actually the sense of purpose that lifts us to greater heights. Never forget that fear is but the precursor to valor. That to strive and triumph in the face of fear is what it means to be a hero. Don't think. Become.
.......it actually called his name. I can't believe it actually called his name.
The fuck is that ending??? Let Jim REST
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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago
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Hello Goldy 💜 So JK dint post for Jin and so does Tae. Both of them di t post for Jinins bday also. Whats going on here ? I dont understand if JK and Tae have been banned from posting on their boyfriends bday. As u can tell i am both Jikook and Taejin shipper. What do u think is happening or should i say not happening.
This topic...
Hold on, lemme put on my tinfoil hat:
I got nothing. Lol.
Secondly, aaaaah Tae Kook!
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Lol. Tae Kook. The evil power duo of BTS, my favorite rageddy boogie men of ship street Avenue, PPP- pathological party poopers of Bangtan fantasyland- stomping on shipper's parade, putting commas in people's hopes and dreams. Y'all didn't get the memo? When we said y'all be snatching hearts, this is not the kind of horror heart snatching we was talking about! Y'all ratchet for this shit. Lol.
Someone give them the memo. Atatatatatat.
Lmho.
I mean for Jk, I've already speculated a few times- several times now, how I feel he's kind off been on a self assertive journey since late 2019 and coupled with a lot of things I felt was happening with him, Jimin and group around that period, that him not posting for the members' birthdays sort of make a lot of sense to me.
I've also speculated on what I felt was going on with Kook, RM and Tae around JM's birthday this year, so Tae not posting for JM also sort of made sense to me?
Tae missed Jimin's birthday as well. It would have been 'problematic' in today's social media climate if he posted for any body else within the group after that. It's the same with JK when he missed Jin's birthday last December- had he posted for anybody else, I'm afraid several trucks would have been sent to BigHit HQ demanding his head on a spike. Chileee.
Can't blame them though. Even the members themselves, during 2017 Festa, descended hard on JK for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others- they pay attention to these things, you know? Jin in his recent VLive had said he had been up waiting for texts and all- or something along the lines of that, and I'm pretty sure he pays attention to who posts what on their Twitter account on his birthday. Well we know Jimin does this too. Lol.
You don't need to be a mad scientist to figure out that one member posting for another and not the others would make the members feel some kind of way about it even if they don't say it out loud.
Frankly, like I said, I feel they set themselves up for this shit- miss one, miss them all or risk solo stans coming for your ass. That's how we roll on these fang gang streets. Lol.
But for Kook, I sort of felt his was deliberate- may be an impulsive decision at the time, but deliberate nonetheless. I mean he had all 24 hours post Jin's birthday to belate that shit- better late than never, but he didn't do that.
Whatever had transpired within that period- which I've speculated on in past posts, I feel that had pushed him to his breaking point and had incentivized him or propelled him to reel back, reevaluate his goals, intentions, purpose, calling- whatever you wanna call it, and eventually had embarked on a journey to reassert himself and take back control of his life all throughout 2020- until recent times...
- Y'all see Jikook's dynamics have flipped again post Jimin's birthday right? Clear your schedules. We gone talk. Soon. Muhahaha.
I don said, Jikook have/had been asserting themselves against eachother and against the group this year. And for Jk, that self assertion would come in the form of him putting up boundaries and reinforcing already existing boundaries among other things, which would in turn require him demanding and demonstrating his independence from anything and anyone he had relinquished his self autonomy to- prior to. In my opinion.
I'm gonna step on a few toes here and regurgitate, JK didn't just take a step back from his life, he took a step back from Jimin as well, in my opinion- I can literally hear temperatures rising. Chilee. Lmho.
It's easy to lose yourself in the process of loving someone. And when you love this person more than you love yourself, in the thick of love, under heavy public and peer scrutiny, where you are being told to change this and that about yourself everyday and everytime as a prerequisite for being able to love this person you want within a group; then you are bound to end up with nothing but the total eradication of who you are at your core or at least a drift away from your true self and the expressions of it... Sigh.
I mean all the, 'try not to be so possessive, he's our friend too' 'operation neutralize Jikook' 'chilee, don't lean too much into him, this is an award' 'I've got Jimin, restrain Kook' 'oh I think you stared too long here' 'look away' 'you got him a present, why didn't you get us any' 'is that your heart eyes?' 'Tuck it away' 'why do you film Jimin a lot?' 'use this person, not Jimin for your GCF if you want the clicks' 'GCF in Tokyo? How about OT7 in wherever mate?' - all these little tweaks and adjustments he's had to make to his personality and his expressions of self in order to hide his relationship within the group climaxes honestly. In my opinion. And late 2019 to me was that peak for JK. Again, in my opinion.
Changes like these don't come drastically. They creep up on you. Its slippery slope till you're caught knee deep in the mud. For instance, notice when the members complained about him not caring for them because he hadn't presented them with gifts like he did Jimin, he had agreed immediately to give them presents in the future in order to not answer to their question of why he had chosen to give just Jimin a present. That compromise to me was one of the early signs of him losing his authenticity. In my opinion.
Jimin and the members were quick to point out that he didn't have to do that because giving and gifting were not obligations and honestly they were right. He doesn't have to do things if he doesn't want to.
That's the paradox of Jungkook. He does the things he wants to do without shame and he is fearless and unapologetic about it. But you see, he is also often very passive when it comes to the things he doesn't want to do and would hesitate in insisting on his boundaries until he is pushed to his limits- from my observation of his interactions with the members and I think Suga and RM have talked about this too.
A classic example of this is his conversation with Jimin about their friendship- when Jimin said they were in between love and friends. His hesitation was a sign he was uncomfortable with that description but he didn't assert himself over it.
Another example would be Jimin saying during their log that he was taking a liking to JK- JK didn't react as much but JM turning to ask him if he was ok with him saying things like that was a sign they had had the talk about 'boundaries.'
JK is a very assertive person but his position as the youngest within the group places a lot of restrictions on his assertiveness I feel.
We talk a lot about Jimin being Kumbaya and sacrificing a lot of their personal happiness for the good of the group- well, I've been talking. Y'all don't say shit much- fuxking lurkers 😒 y'all suck. Lol. [Delete before you post, you idiot. They don't know you like that]
Anywho, we often talk about Jimin in this context but we- by we, I mean I, don't talk enough about all the ways JK often sacrifices his authenticity for the Kumbaya of the group as well. But unlike Jimin, I feel JK does it so he can keep his glass closet- fucking whippidy whip whipped. Lol.
And it's crazy because that sacrifice he makes of his true feelings and it's expression is what often leads people to question whether he acts exclusively with JM at all.
Often I hear shippers complain about how he did this with Jimin but he did similar thing with another member- listen, if you've heard JK sigh upon seeing RM imitating his mannerisms to try to neutralize his nonverbal gestures around Jimin, you'd understand what exclusivity means for him.
And when, you think about that he had to apologize to and explain himself for choosing to wear his man's bag over another member- it's not hard to see where his authentic self began to erode- It started from the moment the apologies begun. Never apologize for who you are- class dismissed. Lol.
Then he goes on to talk about losing his passions for his GCFs, his music- this is a person everyone within the group had said is or was the most passionate member within the group... You gotta wonder where it all went wrong. Know what I mean? Come on work me. I'm writing this at 2am. Lol.
I think Jimin was right when he said giving should never be a task. You should give from your heart and from your own free will. Not for show, and certainly not to please anyone.
Wishing a member a happy birthday should never be a duty, task or obligation- especially when such moments and expressions of it has become performative over the years rather than as true expressions of the love and affections they have for eachother- ok, I'm dozing off now. Lmho.
I mean let's face it, posting on Twitter for eachother has become more of a culture and an established tradition within the group that sentimental members within the group hold on to.
The birthday twitter post has been hijacked and lowkey/highkey advances the OT7 kumbaya agenda BigHit is bent on pushing and sells the BTS bromance fantasy to us rather than an actual representation of their love for eachother. In my opinion. I could be wrong about this.
JK asserting himself would mean him choosing not to participate in expressions that to him are performative, shallow and lacks depth whatsoever.
I know what you are gonna say- but but Jimin's birthday. But but but nothing. Lol. I have said I felt he was going to post for Jimin's birthday. Dude geared up for it with the 5/8 and everything.
And given as he's been on a journey to do the things he wants to and to pursue meaning in his expressions of self within the group, I feel and I believe he believes wishing his man a happy birthday on social is meaningful- Confirmation bias this shit. Lol.
Not that the act itself is meaningful, but that the act holds meaning to Jimin. I think I've talked extensively about Jimin and how important his birthday is to him. The only reason I feel he wouldn't or didn't post for him was if Jimin had asked him not to- which I believe he did. Posting for Jimin would have been tantamount to outing their relationship gangster style. Lol.
And we all know how the members feel about that. Smirk.
So no, I don't think he's been banned from posting for his man's birthday. I think this is him deciding not to partake in performative expressions of love- perhaps because that has never been him?
I don't know for Tae's Journey. His decision not to post feels very random to me. Who knows, he and JK have been talking a lot lately it seems and getting closer post Sope. So if you ask me, this perhaps is him taking a page out of JK's self help book and pursuing that authenticity of self expressions I've talked about?
I mean he did do awesome things for Jin's birthday so I don't think we can complain much. Getting his friends to wish Jin a happy birthday certainly pulls weight over a second post on Twitter. Jin got a birthday party with the members, RM had the same.....
The thing that bothers me and my friends over here about Jikook's incident is the lack of closure after that traumatizing experience.
With the others JK didn't post for, at least we got to see him in a VLive with them interacting and just giving us moments here and there. So even if he didn't post, we know he was with them and they shared the memory of that day together- which I feel is what we shippers want. For them to show eachother love- whatever way they express it.
With Jimin- Nada. Zero. Zilch. We got nothing my guy. Jimin didn't share any insight or give any details remotely resembling closure for us. We were hoping for a bangtan bomb or Episode but nothing so far. I hate it here.
We didn't get to see JK showing the love we know he feels for Jimin- he's proven time and again he loves that man. We didn't get to see them share the memories of that day together. Not even through narration- Jimin, you sonova bish! Lol.
Would I ever move on from that incident? No.
Do I want to move on from that incident- chileee I've been trying. It would haunt me for the rest of my Jikook life. Lol. I still get get nightmares thinking about it and it's Christmas. Sigh.
I think we would have to observe rather than anticipate how they choose to express and communicate their love for one another- especially Jikook and by extension Taejin- chilee Anon, I respect your hustle. Lol.
I don't blame you though. I mean sometimes Jin be looking like he wants to gobb-ok
What was your question again? Lol. I hope I answered it. Chilee. Keep supporting Jikook.
Signed,
GOLDY
42 notes · View notes
periminkle · 4 years ago
Text
Orphic | 04
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After moving into your own place, it seems life is finally going your way; the path to independence leading you to a quaint suburban town where even the grass seems to grow a little greener. Although a shocking encounter leads you to believe that perhaps appearances can be quite deceiving.
pairing: hybrid!jk x reader (first person)
genre: hybrid au, angst, fluff
word count: 7.6k
rating: PG-15
warnings: swearing, descriptions of blood and cleaning wounds, mentions of cannibalism (o.o)
author’s note: mMMm setting deadlines is effective but exhausting, so the pacing of this might be a bit weird? also im def not late bc it’s still sunday in some timezones so ;))
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I stared intently at the grungy nick in the otherwise spotless wall, mind racing a mile a minute.
The better half of the last hour had been spent pacing back and forth, gaze unmoving from the unconscious man in fear of missing the twitch of a finger or the flutter of an eyelash. His complete stillness persuaded me to check on his pulse frequently, glad to feel the faint, yet steady, beat beneath layers of smooth skin.
When I received a second call from my cranky saviour to inform me that he was nearly here, I forcefully sat myself down and practiced that infamous square breathing that every zen yogi swore by. By the persistent bouncing of my knee, it was evident that the yogis had failed me.
Rain was pounding down in thick sheets onto the pavement outside and at this point I was convinced the world had it out for me, using every trick in the book to further complicate this surely doomed rescue mission. Nonetheless, I optimistically hoped that the incoming storm would soon subside.
My unfortunate lips dealt with the brunt of my merciless canines, rendering the skin raw by the time a distinctive series of raps against the sturdy door caught my attention. It was the very same pattern in which I’d regularly knock on the door to the cleaning storage, craving the company of someone other than the three musketeers I’d gotten to know better than my own blood.
Although I ordinarily would be enthusiastically welcomed and greeted with nothing less than a wide, heart-shaped grin, the circumstances now were undoubtedly exceptional. Thus, the crinkle between his brows and the disgruntled glare fixed on my sheepish smile were to be expected.
Needless to say, Hoseok was not impressed.
“What the hell?” the typically friendly janitor barked out, huffing out his frustration at having his slumber disturbed. “You do know that it’s almost two in the morning right? How did you even get in here? Why couldn’t this wait for tomorrow?”
His hair stuck up in a multitude of different directions, evidently having rolled out of bed, slipped on a jacket and came to my rescue. The wrinkled, blue horse character on his pajama set eased some of my nerves at the familiarity of its nose, in the shape of Hoseok’s smile that was, understandably, nowhere to be found with the current circumstances.
I gripped the distressed male by his lithe shoulders, imploring him to slow down. “I’m not coming in tomorrow. Listen, this is gonna sound absurd but—”
His eyes drifted past my smaller form and I firmly shook at his torso to prevent him from spotting the other man. “Hey! Eyes down here.” A hint of curiosity bled through his agitated exterior when he focused on my stern exterior once more. “You can’t freak out, okay?”
Hoseok shrugged his approval, murmuring, “Yeah, I get it, directly disobeying the head researchers is pretty satisfying and all, but did you really have to drag me into this? Especially when you know I start early on Saturdays?”
At the reminder of his strict schedule, I withered marginally as I originally hadn’t intended to involve him at all. A shameful appreciation began to eat away at my conscience, grateful for his presence in spite of my outrageous request. I wouldn’t know what to do if Hoseok hadn’t come through and in my eyes, he remained an angel who was too good to be true.
“I’m sorry, I promise this is really important.” I brought my arms back to my sides, glancing down at my feet in order to organize my swirling thoughts. “I wouldn’t call you if it wasn’t an emergency.”
What I didn’t notice while lost in my reverie was Hoseok’s rebellious stare, wandering over the injured man’s form. “What the fuck?” He gently shoved me aside, stumbling deeper into the laboratory. When he was planted by the stranger’s table, he repeated, “What the actual fuck?”
My head tipped back in exasperation, disappointed that not even my last minute backup strategy was going according to plan. “Hobi, please.”
I could practically envision the gears whirring in his head, a natural reaction considering the mutant in front of him. When he finally craned his neck back to me, he mumbled with wide eyes, “Say sike right now.”
“Stop talking for two seconds.” I groaned, marching up to position myself between the janitor and the table in an attempt to calm him down. Immediately upon noticing his trembling digits, I reached out to clasp them within my own quivering hands. “Listen, this experiment they’re conducting? From what I know, it’s all some screwed up excuse to inject animalistic characteristics of their choosing into humans. And their track records point to a lot of predator species.”
“Predators? Wha—why would they even want to create a predator-human hybrid?” Hoseok took a tiny step back and out of the fear that he would flee, I fiercely clamped down onto our conjoined limbs.
“I don’t know yet,” I faltered. “But, honestly, I couldn’t care less because of how unethical they are in their approach to this project.” At his puzzled expression I somberly gestured to the unmoving lump in the corner, willing myself to postpone any tears for a safer location.
Hoseok must have connected the dots at the midnight black shade of fur peeking out underneath the fabric matching the colour of the hybrid’s ears and tail, as his stare hardened and his breathing began to even out from the rapid pace it was at before. “I’ll need more details later on, but let’s get him out of here first.”
At his command, I retracted from Hoseok's hold, scoping out the rather barren area for something other than the masses of files and papers strewn about. “You think we can carry him together?”
Simply comparing the difference in size between the stranger and Hoseok, there was no doubt the copious, hulking mass of muscle outweighed my friend’s slimmer figure. Our combined strength would have to somehow prove formidable against his bulky body.
Hoseok’s grimace spoke volumes about his faith in that idea, although there wasn’t much of a choice considering the alarming time crunch and our limited accessibility to other parts of the laboratory. Due to my blind confidence in the ostensibly foolproof scheme I constructed, the only cameras shifted were directly located in the path from the front entrance to the changing room to the upstairs lab.  
Oh, how I was regretting that naivety now.
Using an abandoned stretch of fabric that had been stuffed into one of the drawers I rummaged through earlier, I covered his immobile body with the thin cover to provide some decency and act as a layer of defence against the torrents outside.
While Hoseok stood directly behind his head, leaning forward to loop his arms underneath the hybrid’s triceps and around his chest, I grabbed each of his ankles, cradling them to my abdomen. Even with our best efforts to avoid any of his wounds, there was no way to avert the countless scratches and bruises that littered every inch of visible skin. We counted on the sanguine belief that he wasn’t conscious enough to feel any of it, reluctant to use any tranquilizers when we weren't aware of how much juice they’d already injected him with.
“On the count of three?” Hoseok asked.
With a nod, I tightened my hold and widened my stance. “One, two,” after taking a generous inhale, I heaved, “three!”
The two of us managed to maneuver the stranger down the length of the dingy hall before we were forced to gently place him onto the ground, desperate to grant our aching muscles the break they demanded. Currently, construction was being done on the elevator, which meant that the flight of stairs was the next obstacle to be tackled.
I lost the brief, but fierce, battle of rock-paper-scissors and endured the frightening prospect of marching down the stairs backwards—in the dark. All because Hoseok was unwilling to sacrifice the slightest bit of his comfort for the both of us to step sideways.
It was safe to say the stairs themselves took ten minutes to clear.
On the first floor, we were able to cross over to the main entrance in a breeze thanks to the spacious nature of the lobby. After scurrying to Hoseok’s car and laying the hybrid in the back seat, I returned to the lab to dutifully lock up the front door and jogged back to the vehicle.
Hoseok sent me a befuddled brow lift from the front seat when instead of the passenger’s side, I hesitantly stood a stride away from the driver’s door. “He’s fine, hurry up already so we can get out of here.” He motioned to the space beside him with the flick of his chin, his bed head dancing along with the movement. “It wouldn’t look too great if anyone caught us right now, especially with the man-cat knocked out cold in the back. Plus, the lab just radiates spooky vibes at night, look at my goosebumps!”
“Okay, okay, give me a second,” I grunted, opening the door to the back seat as I bowed inside to avoid a painful meeting with the roof of the vehicle. While gripping the back of the stranger’s skull with one hand and his upper back with the other, I lifted his torso and slipped inside. Tenderly, I placed his head on my lap.
“What are you doing?” Hoseok stared at me through the mirror, evidently unnerved by my proximity to the man. “He could literally wake up at any minute and there goes your throat!”
“Or he could get juggled around from your shitty driving and open his injuries again,” I countered, “which I think is a lot more likely, no?”
He scoffed, taking full offence to my jest. “Never mind. I hope he throws you out the damn window for calling my driving anything less than spectacular.”
The rush of excess blood coursing through my veins as a result of my overactive heart pounded in my head, nearly loud enough to block out the boisterous revving of the engine echoing throughout the empty lot. Tires squeaked against the pavement, jolting the hunk of metal into action as we sped away.
“Where were you thinking of leaving him?” he asked, taking a breath before mumbling, “that is, if you thought about this at all.”
“Hobi!” My jaw dropped dramatically at his not so subtle jab, shaking my head as I commented, “You’ve been hanging around Yoongi too much lately. I mean, all this sass couldn’t have come from nowhere.”
He slowed down behind the only other car in sight, flicking on his signal to turn. “Don’t change the subject.”
“I’m not, I was just commenting on your drastic change in behaviour,” I rebutted, crossing my arms across my chest at his determination to aggravate me tonight. “For your information, I actually planned this out for weeks; who do you think got the key card to the upstairs lab, the keys to the building itself, moved all the cameras—
Despite the leather seat between us, I knew he was sporting a sly smirk, for his conceit was bleeding through his supercilious tone. “And who begged me for help halfway through this ingenious plan?”
My jaw clenched shut, astounded at his cheeky retorts. At first, I was unsure of how the relationship between the jovial custodian and the chilly facade that Yoongi donned among strangers would progress, but judging by the sheer number of occasions in which I’d walked into a room with the two chatting away—gummy smiles all around, it seemed to be advancing better than expected.
“Whatever, you came anyway.” I sank back into my seat, careful not to disturb the comatose man peacefully resting on my thighs. Hopefully he was narcotized enough to remain oblivious to the various disturbances around him and would only rouse when the sun made an appearance.
Hoseok blithely sneered, pressing harder on the pedal as he spun the steering wheel to the right. “Yeah, well it’s kind of hard not to when you claim that Hyunho’s going to sue your ass for thousands of dollars.”
“And was I wrong?” I recalled our earlier conversation, where I hadn’t yet mustered up the courage, much less the patience, to confess to the details of my crimes. In a panicked state, I simply presented the consequences which would follow Hoseok’s absence—Hyunho’s wrath.
“No, now you’re just gonna get your ass handed to you by Namjoon and Yoongi,” he countered. “But I guess you’ll save some money while you’re at it.”
Merely the thought of their reactions to my late night escapade made me want to shrivel up in a ball. “Who said I’m going to tell them?”
“You’re not telling them?” The car slowed as he gradually came to a graceful stop behind a red light, turning his torso to face me with the help of his hand on the central console. “You know better than to release the man-cat, he’ll just get caught again.”
Rolling my eyes like a petulant child being scolded, I muttered, “I’m not releasing him.”
“But you can’t deal with him on your own either!” he snapped, the lack of sleep shortening his tolerance. After a pause to regain his senses, Hoseok rapidly shook his head and twisted back to focus on the empty roads ahead.
"Listen," I gritted out between my teeth, my own temper flaring. “I think you’re forgetting that I was well aware of the fact that I would be housing some kind of animal for a while, just didn’t know he would be this big.”
“Or this dangerous? This costly?” His firm grip on the wheel tightened, knuckles turning white as his emotions boiled over. "You’re not prepared to deal with him, I'll just take him back to my place."
A puff of air escaped my throat at his ridiculous solution, stating, "You live with your sister. There's no way she won't find out."
"Like you're any better off," he quipped, staring me down through the rearview mirror. "You live alone. If he were to do anything to you, we’d be none the wiser about it."
"Well, we can't risk anyone discovering his existence. There's no other way.” By watching the stranger’s chest rise and fall with each elongated breath, I was able to simultaneously avoid Hoseok’s prying eyes and collect my own thoughts.
While impatiently waiting for his arrival back at the lab, my mind had trudged through copious possibilities, overwhelmed with the pressure to choose the right one. Eventually, I came to the disconcerting conclusion that, be that as it may, the most secure option remained to bring him back to my place.
I reassured, "Don’t worry, I cleared out my bedroom so that there’s nothing in there that could potentially be used as a weapon. We'll secure him down, lock the door, and I'll camp out in the living room."
"Y/N, we don't have any clue what this guy is capable of,” Hoseok stressed, worry colouring his voice as he sharply gesticulated with his free hand. “Hell, look at him! He has cat ears, Y/N, and do not get me started on his tail.”
I stole a glance at the accused appendage in bewilderment, unsure of why that aspect was at the forefront of Hoseok’s concerns regarding the mutant boy. “What’s wrong with his tail?”
“My point is,” he accentuates, “we have no idea what we’re dealing with here. What if he has some kind of monstrous super strength and his diet consists of human flesh? He could probably rip right through any restraints and bam! That'll be the end of you."
I held my tongue at ridiculing his absurd speculations when some sort of man-cat hybrid was currently strewn across the back seat of Hoseok’s run-down Corolla; a dim display exposing the current, ungodly hour of the early morning.
“Do you have any better ideas?" Although my question was met with radio silence, we steadily continued on the potholed path headed away from my house. I spoke up again, "Where are you taking us?"
"We're going to Namjoon's place, and we're gonna think of a better alternative all together."
"Hoseok," I seethed, fists clenching next to my thigh. "He'll make us take him back. We're already too far in to go back now."
The car jerked violently due to the bumpy road and being suddenly reminded of the wounded boy, I shot out to grab at his thin waist in order to nail him to the seat. Despite my best efforts, crimson liquid soaked through the thin blanket and I cursed under my breath.
"I can't leave you there alone with him!"
"Please, we'll be careful." A beat passed as I greedily inhaled the fresh air flowing in through my open window,  gathering ideas to negotiate. "I'll stay awake the whole time and I'll text you every hour."
Regardless of my pleas, the car kept at its incessant pace to Namjoon's apartment. Sweat began to accumulate at my temples at the unsure fate of what censure awaited me. To distract my nerves, I gripped the fabric that covered the man’s body, tugging it over his shoulders to rest just below his chin while pressing a bunch into his side in an attempt to stop the bleeding.
Past the low hum of the vehicle, a gentle utterance met my ears. I lifted my head to inquire whether the sound was merely a figment of my fatigued imagination when Hoseok repeated, "Every half hour."
My eyes widened, darting to examine his stoic expression from the rearview mirror. "Yes! Yes, yes of course. I can even do every ten minutes if that’s what you want." I shrugged my shoulders, pointing out, "I'll be up all night anyway."
"No, I'm good. Unlike some of us, I don't deserve to be punished for my crimes and would like to salvage the little sleep I can get," he declared as he performed a U-turn at a wide intersection.
My grin expanded exponentially at the change in direction. "Suit yourself."
I allowed my thoughts to clear, tracing a clear droplet on the window as it raced to engulf another, merging into one, larger globule that ran down the smooth expanse until it was out of sight. Unknowingly, I mindlessly carded my fingers through the stranger’s dampened strands; more so for my own comfort than for anyone else.
Before I knew it, we’d arrived at my quaint cottage and with the addition of another individual residing under its roof, the place seemed tinier than ever. Hoseok and I shuttled him over to my bedroom as gracefully as we possibly could, aiming to avoid whacking into any obstacles along the way.
Other than his lengthy legs knocking into two door frames, we were clear.
The second his back met the rigid mattress, we collectively released a weighty exhalation from the excessive exertion that strained both our physical and mental states. Although the chances of the stranger waking up now were low, seeing as he was out like a light throughout the whole journey, I hurried to collect the sturdy ropes that I purchased in advance.
“Ooh, you’re into some kinky shit, huh Y/N?” Hoseok quipped, taking the material from my hands.
My eyes rolled back at his stupid antics, glaring at the pleased crinkles forming next to his drooping eyes. “Ha ha, very funny. Now help me tie him up, so I can kick you out of my house.”
“And what’re you gonna do to him when I leave?”
Snatching the rope that he stole from me, I shoved Hoseok to the side by pressing against his firm bicep—which definitely carried more than his fair share of the hybrid on the way here—and grumbled, “Guess If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.”
Hoseok burst into a short fit of contagious laughter, invoking a couple quiet giggles that I was unsuccessful in fighting down. As he raised the stranger’s arms to the bed frame, I looped the braided, nylon material snug around each of his wrists. Along the way I checked to ensure that the restraints weren’t too tight before moving onto his ankles to repeat the process. Luckily enough, his height stretched the entire length of my minuscule bed with his feet dangling off the ledge.
“Tell me you brought more tranquilizers in case?” Hoseok asked immediately upon securing the last knot. Throughout a tedious explanation on how foolishly lax I was behaving with the hybrid, he went back to inspect my handiwork, tugging the ends of the cords closer together into a grip that nearly cut off the hybrid’s blood flow.
Over his nagging, I sneaked a victorious grin as I displayed the syringes I’d nabbed from the lab. He spent a few more minutes fiddling with various safety measures consisting of the pepper spray he stealthily retrieved from my purse, the bedroom door’s lock and an air horn that he remarkably pulled out of his coat’s pocket. Although it was questionable if the blaring sound would awaken even my closest neighbours due to the sheer distance between our houses, I didn’t dare attempt after imagining old Sangmin marching over here on his rickety cane to bark my ears off.
Refusing to bother expending effort on pondering over the rationale behind Hoseok’s little magic trick, I blithely shooed him out before any more ridiculous objects could be plucked out of his jacket.
The last straw was his finger approaching the sensitive button on said air horn. Unwilling to face the consequences of his brash actions, I slammed the front door closed behind Hoseok, the space suddenly void of his rowdy antics. I wearily blinked the drowsiness out of my eyes, the stillness and tranquility of the early hours slowed my heart rate from the fast paced, action packed night.
My sock-clad feed padded their way back to the bedroom, snatching my phone out of my black hoodie to fiddle around with an app that I discovered upon moving out. In order to relay my continued existence to my family, I scheduled texts to be sent every week, which would prove useful at this time as well. Knowing my own forgetful nature, one update to Hoseok would slip my mind, and either four, furious men would burst through every available entrance or I would have the whole police force upon my front steps in minutes.
To prevent such a disastrous event from taking place, I tampered around with the settings and added the fretting male to the list.
I halted in my tracks when faced with the mundane sight of the four walls where I spent most of my sleeping hours, not a hair out of place other than the addition of the injured hybrid on my dirtied bed. The crimson stains jolted me into action, retrieving my brand new first-aid kit and finding it hilariously ironic that the dressings were going to be used on the very same criminal that broke in to steal such supplies.
In order to fight off any cold that could have possibly slithered its way past the weak barrier draped over his body, I peeled the flimsy, sodden cover off and replaced it with a puffy comforter. Traversing through the storm that continued to rage outside definitely put a strain on his already weakened state, and his pale countenance wasn't very reassuring.
I slid the blanket down to access the sullied wound at his rib cage and grabbed a couple pads of gauze to firmly press onto the area. Thankfully, some blood had already begun to coagulate around the edges, so I didn’t have to wait too long for the trickling stream to cease. With a clean towel, I wiped the surrounding skin to get a better look at what I was dealing with, grimacing at the bruises forming galaxies across the jagged edges of ripped skin.
He was in worse shape than either Hoseok or I could have predicted. At this realization, the fleeting worry that he might succumb to the severity of his wounds grew, festering a nasty doubt in my mind.
Deciding whether to clean the laceration commenced another strife within the whirlwind of emotions inside my head, but I poured a few drops of antiseptic onto a cotton ball anyway, fearful of infection. As I tried my best to carefully dab the soaked material across his wounds, I peered up at his face to search for signs of consciousness.
My eyes involuntarily softened at the small cuts littered across his neck, travelling past his jaw and over the slopes of his hollowed cheeks to his forehead, which was partially hidden under his dark locks. When the cotton was thoroughly besmirched with a blend of bright crimson and a muddy brown, I drenched another and advanced up to other regions after the more serious lesions were taken care of.
A closer look at his sinewy torso allowed me to examine the scars scattered all around, mostly clustered around his upper arms. Absentmindedly, I wondered whether their appearances were linked to the cruel methods of the laboratory. How had he gotten within their clutches in the first place? For how long was he suffering under the justification of being an experiment?
What were they trying to accomplish with him?
My mind raced with all the different possibilities of what could have brought the hybrid into this situation in the first place, and before I knew it, I was pushing back the disheveled strands on his forehead to clean the last of his cuts. There were definitely more on his dorsal side, but I wasn’t willing to undo his restraints and flip his hefty weight over on my own. I would either wait until he woke up or ask Hoseok to stop by again after his shift.
In my current position, I was close enough to feel his warm breath fanning across my skin, observe the tiny brown mole under his lip and how utterly breathtaking this man was underneath the cuts that marred his skin. He was undoubtedly attractive at first glance, although I wasn’t able to appreciate his masculine features while under the stress of saving him.
Once every laceration in my reach had been disinfected to the best of my limited abilities, I swiftly bandaged his side again and stuck Spider-man themed band aids onto the smaller cuts in memory of the Hello Kitty ones that decorated his body earlier. I settled back on the chair, admiring my handiwork and fighting back the looming threat of dormancy that approached with every elongated blink. My head leaned back as I crossed my arms, thinking that a little snooze never hurt anyone.
I was blind to the cocoa orbs drinking in the darkness.
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The bright light streaming in through the numerous cracks between my blinds prodded my eyelids apart, pupils struggling to adjust past the groggy haze of an unexpected slumber. Rather than revelling in the bountiful energy supplied by a restorative nap, an obnoxious cramp in my neck made its presence known alongside the bleak, obstinate tingle of dormancy that lingered within every tightened tendon, pulsating throughout my entire body.
Although the pain gradually ebbed away after I rolled my head around in wide semicircles, I knew from experience that the ache of sleeping in an uncomfortable position would linger.
Gold streaks were painted on the hardwood floor as a result of the sun’s harsh rays, a stark contrast to the dusk of a few hours ago. As I began to fuzzily recollect the memories from yesterday, I spotted the growing number of discrepancies between the room I’d seen before I closed my eyes and now, from the open door to the ruffled sheets, devoid of any sign of life.  
Fortunately, I seemed to be in the same position, seated on the tough chair that I snoozed off in a few hours ago. However, I found it odd that it was particularly difficult to do much else than squirm around, and that was when I realized the problem lied in the nylon material tied around my wrists and ankles, binding me to the furniture.
A cold dread washed over me, much like a freezing bucket of ice being poured over my head. The hybrid escaped.
Well, at least he didn’t exact his fallacious revenge on my sleeping form.
“Awake?”
I squeaked at the whiplash that followed the movement of my head twisting a second too quickly, intent on identifying the furtive speaker. My eyes widened exponentially at locating the muscular hybrid, black ears twitching at my cry and tail swishing in curiosity. Being clad in only boxers, I shifted my gaze away out of instinct, a fiery blush overtaking my features despite having ogled the man’s ripped physique before.
It felt completely different when he was unconscious and my only intent was to treat his multitudinous wounds though.
He slowly blinked, clearly finding my astonishment puzzling with the bewilderment laced in his orbs. Waving a large palm in front of my face to get my attention on him, he calmly said, “No hurt.”
The tight rope that currently hindered my motion was definitely the same one that had been previously occupied with restraining the hybrid to the bed. Yet the very same male stood in front of me, free as a bird. “H-how did you get out?”
Instead of answering verbally, he extended his defined arms out to the side, imitating the position he was tied up in, then robustly swinging both limbs towards one another. So he broke through those thick, durable ropes with sheer strength and willpower. Comforting.
The tranquilizers laid scattered across the floor, much too far to even consider reaching them.
“Where’s your blanket?” I questioned, suppressing the tremor in my voice as I found it outrageous that my throat was still intact at this point. There was no guarantee that he wasn’t harbouring any motives to rid the world of my presence, but the fact that he wasn’t actively making any moves to rip my heart out was a good sign.
The mop of dark chestnut swayed along in the same direction that he tilted his head over to; a habit revealing an emotion that I couldn’t place on the stranger. “Warm. No like.”
His broken English revived a flurry of trepidation. I recalled the night of the break-in, the terror and hysteria that I’d buried away under the incorrect pretense that a burglar never hits the same house twice.
I didn’t know if that sentiment applied to kidnapping the criminal and using your place as his hideout, as well.
As I noisily gulped, I felt his stare dart to my esophagus and in a wild panic, my wide eyes met the doe-like curve of his own. The hybrid edged closer to my trembling form before treading past me, out of sight. I closed my eyes in preparation.
This is it. Goodbye world, it was pretty shit while it lasted.
I heard the rustling of fabric behind me and silently applauded the man for thinking of a quick and easy suffocation to reduce the amount of clean up afterwards.
His bare feet slapped against the floor, trekking over to my front again. When a couple seconds passed and none of my airways were blocked nor was there any piercing pain to be felt, I cautiously cracked an eye open to see the stranger standing there, the puffy blanket from before wrapped around his broad shoulders.
“Good now?” he inquired with a bunny-like smile.
My jaw dropped slightly as I nodded, attempting to formulate a sentence but coming up empty. The stark contrast between the brawn enveloping his body and his innocent features threw me in for a loop. This must have been part of his grand scheme to ruthlessly murder me—lulling me into a false sense of security before executing me on the spot.
Outwardly, the hybrid appeared to possess more human features than his animal counterpart, leading me to wonder which instincts ruled over the other. Was he more level-headed and rational or was he unable to suppress his bestial instincts? Did he get sudden, violent mood swings or go on occasional, bloodthirsty rampages?
The lack of knowledge I had regarding the man, who had somehow gained the upper hand through his brute strength, was worrying. A tinge of regret for not skimming through a few files on said hybrid before Hoseok’s arrival made me softly curse under my breath.
As I shifted in place, I was reminded of my own predicament. “So, uh, any chance you’ll let me go?”
With his broad grin still on full display, he made his refusal clear by shaking his head back and forth. It was worth a try. “Not fair. I tied, now you tied.”
His childish logic caught me off guard and a bark of laughter shook my stiff shoulders, marginally relaxing at the prospect that he might postpone the bloodshed for a later time. The mystery laid in how he could distinguish my harmless intentions from the head researchers’ diabolical ones. Maybe it was the lab coat?
I made a mental note to never wear my own lab coat in front of him.
A grumble snapped me out of my reverie. I observed the stranger’s startled features as he glanced down at his abdomen, then, unabashedly, back up to my face. Recalling his screams of horror back at the lab, the barbaric treatment he received there was indisputable and based on his raging stomach, I guessed that it had been a while since he’d eaten anything of substance.
Of all times, Hoseok’s ridiculous words of the hybrid’s diet consisting of human grade meat played back through my brain and jitters erupted over my limbs, wanting to please the man before he was picking his teeth with my freshly cleaned bones.
“Hungry?” I prodded, pushing other priorities to the side in favour of feeding the rumbling beast.
His dark orbs immediately lit up with pure, unadulterated glee. The hybrid gracefully tied the ends of the fabric around his neck like a cape and rounded closer to me with mirth written across every crease on his countenance.
Unsure if his giddiness was attributed to the assumption that I was offering up the meat lining my organs, I squirmed in protest, attempting to cause a ruckus in order to spur his excitement towards another source of protein in the fridge.
Not having much choice in the matter with my limited range of motion, I watched in worry as he scurried out of sight again. “Hey, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here and—”
Despite being prepared for his unpredictable nature, a yelp flew past my lips when I was effortlessly lifted into the air, chair and all. His forearms caged my thighs as he gripped the bottom of the seat, hot pants of air blowing onto the back of my neck from his position.
His elation was practically tangible as he flew past the open doorway and sped off through the foyer. He must have ventured deeper into the house while I was blissfully unaware, since his strides towards the kitchen were filled with nothing but confidence in every step.
Hastily, I spat out, “I’m not that delicious, trust me! My budget’s been pretty strict this month, so I’ve just been eating junk, and I don’t imagine that’ll taste very go—”
The force holding me upright loosened when we reached the fridge, permitting my feet to find the floor. “Dee-lee-shiz?” He tried to imitate, turning to point straight at me.
“No! No, no, not delicious.” I corrected, violently shaking my head.
His outstretched arm retracted to his side, staring like a hawk at my chin tipping towards the metal cooling box behind him, and I repeated, “Delicious.”
As he flung the door to the refrigerator open, nearly ripping it right off its hinges, he yelled, “Dee-lee-shiz!”
Utter fascination at the chilled temperature and the rather meager array of food etched onto his features, sending relief through my veins. I encouraged him to ravage the tenuous stock of food while simultaneously rejoicing at successfully having deterred him from eating me alive.
Packs of eggs, blueberries, condiments, and essentially anything within his reach was hauled out, forming a growing heap on the countertop. When a zucchini found its way into his grasp, he took one puzzled look before chomping down on one end. I wasn’t too sure how raw zucchini would taste when eaten as though it were a cucumber, but he seemed pleased enough to take another bite that resounded throughout the space with a loud crunch.
I reclined back into the stiff chair, content on observing the ravenous hybrid empty my fridge and taking an occasional nibble on snacks that piqued his interest. Although, his grab at the bundle of raw chicken was when I decided to voice my concerns. “Ah, that has to be cooked!” At another tilt of his head, I explained, “You could get sick if you don’t cook it.”
By his furrowed brows, I deduced the concept flew over his head, but he threw the package onto my lap anyway and peered down expectantly. “Cook.”
“You tied me up, remember? I need some mobility to cook.” I tugged at my subdued arms to demonstrate my current inaptitude.
He hummed in thought, enveloping his lower lip between his lengthy canines as he weighed the pros and cons of being able to consume the meat by setting me loose. Finally, after clearly expressing how torn he was between his hunger and his teasing, it seemed that he’d come to a conclusion when he latched onto my left forearm.
Just as I was about to jib that I was no longer on the menu, a searing pain ripped across my wrist. I hissed through my teeth with my fists clenched as I teared my tender arm out of his grip, protectively cradling the limb to my chest.
He flinched away from the sound, taking a step away from my defensive form. At the sight of my disgruntled frown, he withered into himself, chin to his chest while I examined my sore wrist, whimpering at the edges of the flaming red, torn skin. I was a second away from viciously reprimanding him for the bruise that was more than likely to form by tomorrow, but one look into his guilty, fearful eyes made me pause.
With his strength, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he possessed the ability to do much worse, which didn’t seem to be his intent from all the fretting—ears tucked into the crown of his head and tail hanging low. As he seemed to be repenting without a chiding needed on my end, I redirected to a softer approach. “It’s fine, just be more gentle next time, okay?”
“Mm,” he complied weakly, his prior enthusiasm having substantially deflated. Before I could dismiss the topic and entice him with more food, he knelt down to my ankles, gripping the rope with both hands this time as he effortlessly tore the material apart, careful not to graze my legs in the process.
A shiver crawled down my spine at the display of power, mentally noting that there was probably enough strength in his fingers to flick my stunned form across the room; yet the man proved his duality by proceeding to grab one loose end of his makeshift cape and gently tie it around my unscathed wrist. “No run.”
Surprisingly enough, I hadn’t made it a break for it as soon as I was liberated. Although I sustained minimal injuries, he expressed his remorse and made no moves to consume my flesh, which was another good sign. As more time passed, he was revealing to be more and more of a passionate bunny stuck in a wrestler’s body.
After all, I hadn’t gone through all the trouble of kidnapping him just to sprint at the slightest sign of trouble. I confirmed, “No run.”
Some of his original ardour reappeared at my acknowledgement, along with a faint giggle that evoked a tiny smile on my own face. I figured that with his minimal experience revolving around homemade dishes, simply slapping on some salt and pepper to flavour the meat with a side of boiled vegetables would suffice. Thus, I took the package from my lap and got to work.
Cooking with another, rather useless, individual essentially attached at the hip was difficult, to say the least. In the beginning, the man fired question after question, curious about every ingredient and spice going into the dish, but after realizing that he lacked the correct vocabulary to obtain the information he sought, he became a silent observer.
Basically, he followed me around like a lapdog while munching on another zucchini to occupy his restless hands.
After pulling him around left and right, occasionally giving a soft tug on the blanket when he would unintentionally zone out, I finally threw all the components into a single pan, deciding to serve a simple stir-fry. With only the expanse of the puffy fabric between us, I was constantly elbowing the hybrid while mixing the ingredients together, which I considered a redeeming form of payback for his carelessness with my arm.
While the mouth-watering scent of lunch wafted around, he extended the wrist connected to mine, sidestepping over to the island to fish for a bag of baby carrots before coming to stand next to me by the stove. Spotting my stare, he flashed another blinding grin and I couldn’t help but imagine long, bunny ears extending off the top of his head, his slender tail replaced with a fluffier ball of fur at the back. That seemed to better suit his ardent personality.
The chicken gradually changed colour as the exterior of the vegetables softened, and I brought the meal along with the chair by the fridge over to my tiny two-person table, prompting him to take a seat in front of the steaming plate. I expected him to ravenously dig in and devour every crumb, yet he refused to move a muscle, staring out the glass doors to the backyard and into the forest instead.
“I hurt.” He stumbled over his words, somberly bringing his gaze to my cocked brow. “No mean to hurt.”
Thinking back to the scuffle that seemed eons away at this point, I flashed a reassuring smile his way, explaining, “I get it, you were injured. Um, I was kind of mad at first because you broke my door and everything,” I offhandedly gestured towards the broken contraption, “but I forgive you.”
“No.” He clenched his jaw, analyzing the surface of the table as if the words he was searching for were etched on the surface. “Now. Sorry now, too.” To drive his point home, he delicately grabbed the arm not wrapped in the blanket, streaks of red decorating my wrist like a tight bracelet.
I hummed my understanding. “Ah, I told you it’s fine already,” I reassured, patting his hand.
Content at my acceptance of his makeshift apology, he began to dig into the chicken. His nose twitched at the unfamiliar taste, but he made no complaints. Anything was better than nothing, in the end.
I let him enjoy his food for a bit before asking, “Did you have a name? Something like J3?”
His eyes went back to scanning the outdoors, the sound of his chomping coming to an abrupt halt when he spotted a sad lump on the porch.
“Bud?” he inquired, the light glimmering in his irises.
The nickname stumped me, as I had difficulty imagining Hyunho or Minzy affectionately calling their experiment ‘bud’. “What are you talking about? Is that your name?”
His finger poked out to the cylindrical pile of tuna outside, then back to himself, “Bud.”
Befuddled now more than ever, I tried to laugh it off and nodded my head towards the plate again, silently advising him to continue eating.
Unfortunately, he didn’t seem too keen on evading the topic, whimpering in frustration at either my lack of understanding or his incapability of properly communicating due to the language barrier. His unending appetite was going to be put on hold for this. As he stood up, the chair behind him screeched, and he clutched on to the blanket, pulling me towards the back door.
Refusing to allow history to repeat itself, I rushed ahead to slide the hairband off and pushed the door open, allowing him to slip through. I figured that when the man drifted off to sleep tonight, I could replace the rapidly decaying tuna in hopes that my kitty would visit again.
While I was lost in thought, he undid the knot connecting the two of us and sprinted into the forest.
His back disappeared within the thickets fencing the towering maple trees and I froze in place, my jaw going slack in an ugly mixture of bafflement and betrayal, believing that he had simply taken advantage of my hospitality then ran off. Although, all attempts at making sense of the hybrid’s actions were cut short when familiar noises of horrifying, crackling sounds met my ears, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end.
When the underbrush twitched, leaves fluttering from the movement of an animal hidden within their cover, a sinking feeling entered my chest. And that was the moment I met the vibrant, emerald eyes that had dug their own space within my heart.
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katsidhe · 3 years ago
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Hello as a long time silent lurker with post notifications on, and someone who has been very into the minecraft roleplay for about 9 months, I am oh so incredibly intrigued on your thoughts! I hope you don't mind if I ramble a little. Sam (both minecraft and spn, but in this context the minecraft one) is one of my favourite characters because he's so incredibly complex. The prison story has sparked so much discussion and conflict in this fandom, so I would love to hear your thoughts if you want to share!
oh noooooooooooo don’t enable me. (Jk <3)
I’m putting this under a read more for those of you who don’t want to be inflicted with my minecraft roleplay brain worms. I would apologize but I think we’re well past that.
So, like, full disclosure that I am pretty new to dsmp and am surely missing out on big ol swathes of Essential Character Content, etc etc. But I do know the basics, and I’ve (naturally) watched all the Torture Box Content, because I mean come on, that’s my brand.
k so First of all, THE most essential part of any media: x-coded y girl. Dream is a textbook Cas-coded Sam girl. Sam (Minecraft) is a Cas-coded Dean girl. Quackity is a Dean-coded Sam girl. I’d say Tommy is Dean-Dean. Techno is, hmm, Cas-Cas. Okay, important part done.
Minecraft Sam is very fun! I find it absolutely delightful that he clings to moral high ground while torturing and starving a prisoner. And at least from what I’ve seen, there’s a lot of room for interpretation as to the level of guilt and involvement he actually feels about what’s being done to Dream. He goes back and forth between justifying the treatment as something Dream categorically deserves, and justifying it as a means to an end. Whether that end is the book itself, or whether it’s Quackity’s cooperation/satisfaction, or whether it’s some twisted and bloody sense of justice and duty, seems to vary wildly. On top of that, of course, is the irony that Dream was the one to give him this commission and this job in the first place: in every respect, it’s a duty to Dream (to punish him; to secure him; to uphold his rules) that Sam’s fulfilling. Dream isn’t the only one to suffer from Sam’s inflexibility surrounding the entire concept of Dream: Tommy and Ponk do too.
And yet it’s not the inflexibility that ends up hurting Dream the worst: it’s the gaps in that rigidity. If Sam had kept the prison operating as apparently originally commissioned, it would be inhumane but just about bearable: hardly the level of absurd, over-the-top war crime that it’s reached by now. His choice to begin starving Dream in earnest seems to have been mostly an emotional reaction, after Tommy’s death. (Ironic, too, that Tommy also suffered the result of this choice.) And this is fine, because it’s not active: it’s passive, something that’s happening by inaction. Same with giving Quackity specially made weapons and total carte blanche.
The level of trust that Dream has in Sam’s sense of duty is also fascinating. Even as late as the most recent stream, after the guy’s been permitting him to be tortured for months, Dream appeals to Sam’s need to keep Dream static, in one place as his prisoner, in order to save his life. Incidentally, I do think that convincing Sam to keep Quackity from straight-up murdering him is the only concession Dream was actually hoping to win with that conversation. because like, food and a courtyard visit? after a jail break? Like hell is Sam going to grant that, even before the stunt he and Techno pulled, and Dream knows it. I think that the rest of that conversation was just to deflect, and keep Sam from questioning Dream more sharply about whatever he and Techno have planned. Bringing up Tommy and letting Sam go off on his predictable diatribe about morality and just desserts seemed similarly strategic: Dream knows what Sam thinks about what kind of treatment he deserves. He’s had months to figure it out, and it wasn’t exactly rocket science to begin with.
Anyway, that trust is the same reason Dream appealed (unsuccessfully) to Sam when Quackity first showed up: it devastated him to realize that he’d miscalculated the degree of Sam’s willingness to set aside his duty in this one particular way. Quackity in general represents a HUGE blind spot in Sam’s otherwise completely rigid inflexibility: so huge it’s almost baffling, given what Sam was ready to do to Tommy and Ponk and Ghostbur. But Quackity represents a loophole Sam badly wants. He badly, badly wants some good old-fashioned vengeance, without dressing it up with any pretensions of procedure or justice, but he can’t allow himself to actively act on those impulses—or else he would be Bad, and he can’t have that. He has to believe himself to be Good, and he wants to indulge himself with Dream’s suffering anyway. So he explains that, actually, Dream’s treatment is Dream’s own fault. It’s hilariously deluded.
Which brings me to Quackity, because what makes Quackity fun is that he’s actually NOT hilariously deluded—not about this, at least. Unlike Sam, he’s not laboring under the insane mental acrobatics necessary to convince himself that torture is Good Actually. He knows that what he’s doing is terrible, but he owns it: he’s fine admitting that he enjoys it, that he’s doing this for personal gain and personal vengeance and not for reasons of high-minded civic duty. He’s justifying the torture with brutal simplicity: Dream has hurt him and Dream has something he needs, done and done. He seems to be a firm believer in vengeful and disproportionate retribution, just as with his whole Butcher Army thing. To which I say, neat and fun! I also really really enjoy the power dynamic between him and Dream. Dream is someone who commands respect and fear and power, who could murder Quackity with one hand tied behind his back if they were on equal footing, and who probably barely spared him a thought as a threat. Quackity lives in terror of the thought of Dream escaping and wreaking his vengeance. And Quackity is trying his very best to wrestle that power away from him.
He seems to be pretty unpracticed and ineffective at torture, too—like, yeah, I get this is Minecraft and props are limited, but torturing someone long-term with an ax and a sword is going to be more than a bit unwieldy. and did he even bring in health potions his first day? It’s pretty telling and hilarious that Sam is the one who offers the shears, a far more practical choice of tool. Not to mention that the entire premise of his interrogation gives Dream massive, massive incentive to never give Quackity anything. Quackity straight up admits to Dream that the information he wants is the only reason he’s letting Dream live, which is utterly counterproductive if he wants the book sometime this year. Functionally, he needs to torture Dream not merely into admission, but into suicide. And as the days and weeks and months pass, he’s still got nothing to show for it but growing vindictiveness, paranoia, and frustration. By the time of the latest stream, he’s completely lost the plot—his threats don’t even make sense, his violence is ineffective and unhinged and indiscriminate. He’s lost all leverage and he’s needlessly (re)made a powerful enemy in Technoblade.
So, like, characters like Lucifer are fun because they’re good at torture. Characters like Quackity are fun because they’re bad at torture. But that doesn’t much matter. He doesn’t need to be particularly talented, or strong, or skilled to make Dream’s existence hell: the bare facts of the situation are more than enough for that. What does he learn, over the course of these visits—what skills does he hone, what kinds of violence does he discover that he can stomach? What depths of ruthlessness and creativity and hatred does he discover within himself? What threats does he make that he finds himself following through on before he’s even thought through the implications? It’s a learning curve, for him and Dream both. They’re learning each other, they’re learning the corners of this little hell together. Dream wasn’t expecting him to be capable of this degree of hostility or violence. Quackity is sick of being underestimated.
Which brings me finally to Dream. My general and hastily-gleaned impression of the fandom gives me the distinct impression that there is somehow a school of thought convinced Dream’s earned this treatment? Which baffles me. not only in how its absurd extremity (daily torture in a tiny box for literal months, jesus fucking christ) isn’t something even the most terrible villain could earn, but also in how Dream himself strikes me more as a morally gray fallen/falling antihero type than anything else. I was honestly completely prepared to find him to be a straightforward Bad Guy pre-prison, but that’s not at all my impression. He’s clearly got people and things he cares about and wants to protect, and big picture goals he’ll ruthlessly sacrifice anything to advance (ahem Cas-coded Sam girl). Really, it’s more that roleplays don’t tend to lend themselves easily to those types of narrative classification: nearly every character is a POV character; consuming the content from every perspective is nearly impossible. There aren’t super neat ways to sort antagonists and protagonists in essential terms, only in their relationships to one another. In terms of manipulation, war crimes, power-grabbing, and general destruction, practically everyone on the server is guilty to some degree or another. Dream’s treated Tommy pretty damn terribly, but that hardly makes him unique. What does make Dream unique is that he’s been singled out for near-universally-agreed-upon confinement (which oh so conveniently aligns with him being held as a tool, for information). And that’s neat!
…Look, tldr I just like it when people are in torture boxes. more media should have torture boxes, they are good and fun. 
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loniereads · 4 years ago
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cr: Sufficiently Advanced Magic
*spoiler warning*
Chapter 1 - 5
Chapter one
“I was prepared in a thousand different ways that didn’t matter” - Me for every test I’ve ever taken ☺️✨✨
Omg is he gonna go look for his brother 🥺 This book said found family but make it literal - side note, love the name Tristan.
I hope it’s explained as to WHY hundreds of 17 year olds are enduring a judgment to their possible death????
Imagine you’re brother going basically missing, your mom leaving, and then your dad pulling you out of school so you can prepare to possibly ✨die✨
“It could take years to grow strong enough-” 🥺 He’s going to sacrifice years of his life and risk certain death just for a chance to reunite his family is this book gonna make me cry?
I don’t like his name as much as I like his brothers but yanno whatever- how do you even say Corin
I already hate the dad??? Hello? Your first son is gone and your second could follow in his fate and you don’t even see him off?? Fuck you buddy why are book dads such assholes
“I loathed hurting people. I always had.” so i have decided that if anything happens to Corin I will kill everyone in the room and then myself. WHAT A CUTIE SWEET SOUL
If this book forces him to hurt someone I’ll riot-
Oh my gosh he hates fighting but he’s willing to fight for his brother I LOVE HEALTHY BROTHER RELATIONSHIPS they’re so pure
Corin is so nice to try to explain all of this weapon stuff and rune stuff to me like I have any idea wtf he’s talking about- he’s talking and I’m like I’m just happy to be here ☺️
I feel like the fact that he’s paying for everything he takes is important- like maybe other people just take and don’t leave anything? But he’s like here’s a coin for you scary tower~
“It was too cute to die” why do I love Corin so
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What a cute ass sweet ass cinnamon roll, my god🥺
HE FELT GUILTY FOR KILLING A SHADOW SNDKDNSK I love him sm what a king
Chapter two
Why does everything he say sound so intelligent
ldmoaha not Corin having a convo with a book
It’s been too long since I read a normal romance book why did my brain just decide to ship Corin and a BOOK
Ok but him taking time to ask about his brother has me so soft
What the flip chapter 2 was so short??? ):
Chapter three
“You shouldn’t have done that” how ominous and amazing and I love it
He so casually was like OH LOOK A DEAD BODY OH LOOKIE PEOPLE
Omg is he gonna find his brother in here- OH MY
OMG HE DID AHHHHH
just... kidding. He did infact not find him.
Oh wait someone younger than him though- so is going into the tower a choice? That would make it a little better. Like you decide when you go in or? I NEED MORE INFO PLS
The word resh is growing on me
He risked his gold key on her 🥺
I love this little merry band of criminals- also just hoping the kid doesn’t yanno....die
omg Keras is out here crushing stones with his bare hands 😏 hellooooo
Wait I’m so conflicted??? I want to trust Keras and Vera but I also want to trust the book alsnsish
Vera is a whole mood I really hope she’s not like evil or just a weird thing in the tower or idk whatever I want her to stay
AWWAIT ☹️☹️☹️ They left Keras behind- that can’t be it. He’s gotta come back right? Like book person is gonna save him? Right!!??
Chapter four
VERA SUCH A BADDDDIE
This ‘kid’ they’re carrying is just making out like a bandit, he’s just getting carried through the tower 😂
WOW FUCK YOU VERA??? UH I HOPE SOMETHING KILLS HER-but not rhe kid 😔
Okay this might be a weird jump- but WHAT IF THE BOOK ENTITY ISSSSS HIS BROTHER??????????? Like the book person seems to really care if Corin lives? so it’s either just like a really caring person, OR HIS BROTHER
Pls let me be right
That would be so cool
The book entity helped him to finish the rest completely? Is this allowed? This feels not allowed
Corin: fighting monsters with criminals in a magical tower, very time sensitive needs to escape quickly
Also Corin: lemme just wrote a little diary entry ✨☺️
So obviously he’s going to get to keep his memories
Also like he got out of the tower so easily? What?
“And don’t let anyone hassle you about your attunement.” HOW VERY OMONIOUS OF YOU TO SAY
Honestly- Fuck Magnus Cadence
REPLACEMENT? What?
His childhood bestfriend is his half sister? I love that???? Instead of making them love interests they’re half siblings that’s cool as hell. We love childhood friends to siblings trope
I will reiterate, FUCK MAGNUS CADENCE
I hope we get to see their friendship bc I’m here for this trope
Chapter five
🥺 he sent the boys glove to his parents I’m so soft
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Their relationship makes me so happy?? Like I love this. So they better reunite or I’ll riot
BROTHERLY RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE BESTTT
I miss Keras 🥺
I am so unsure of Sera. I do love the sudden sibling, and I really really hope they end up having a cool relationship and like she helps him find his(their) brother and hdjsjdjs
If anyone gives Corin a hard time for his attunement I’ll throw hands-
Not them earning points at their schools- All I can think about how is “10 points to gryffindor”
I love the word behooves
Can they go back into the tower already 💀 This down time is killing me. I want book entity, Keras and that boy who was unconscious the entire time back.
-side note, I absolutely love how all three of them(Keras, Corin, and Vera) were all so concerned with this unconscious boy and they literally carried him to complete safety. Who is this boy?? Will he come back? I miss him he better not be be dead. Vera can die but not unconscious boy.
I don’t know if I’m supposed to like Sera... but she’s giving me “I’m better than you because I have a better attunement” vibes and I do not like that at all so if Icneed to I will pretend to doesn’t exist.
Aw the schools has like animal representatives decisions?? CUTE UM. - there’s way too many for my brain to keep up with but I love them anyway
Not them assigning kids to basically play pranks on everyone else and tell them if they don’t find the prankster kids they lose points- what a weird ass school
“You and Patrick were practically brothers” GIRL YOU CANT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS AN ACTUAL BROTHER WHO IS MISSING AND/OR DEAD
-Also I know Tristen isn’t dead because like then what would be the point huh? HUH? So he’s got to be alive
Or I’ll riot.
“A walking rainstorm” idk why but that is so fucking adorable. I love my new comfort raintorm, Corin.
I can’t wait for them(Corin and Sera) to meet up with their friends and they have to explain that they’re now half siblings.
Them reminding him to not lose his little sigil pin makes me feel like he’s going to lose or forget it ummmm
Imagine getting fucking EXPELLED because you forgot your pin on your other uniform.
I feel like that would be me honestly. Are people not just...forgetful in this universe??
Ngl i would hate to be in the tortoise division
Corins attunement is lamer but his division is called the Phoenix? Like that’s so much cooler than tortoise
The fact that sera is trying to convince me the Spider division isn’t real makes me feel like she’s in it???
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I know my babey Corin didn’t mean this as snarky as I would have liked him to but I love this line so much.
SARCASTIC BOYS WITH DADDY ISSUES OWN ME AND IM NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT
Ngl I was hoping they would have roommates- I love a good school roommate dynamic
For the third time I would like to make my opinion to be known; FUCK MAGNUS CADENCE
Why has no one made a playlist for this book on Spotify? I am throughly disappointed
Not Corin being ghosted by his book-
I wish I had half the motivation Corin has? Like it’s my boys first day of school and as soon as he gets into his room he starts studying. I would have taken a nap
Oop jk as soon as he couldn’t find the rune he was looking for he went to lay in bed.
I’m sorry what in the hell is Wyddsday??? Did I miss them explaining to hat this universe has different names for it’s days of the week?? How am I supposed to know when this is Corin? Or what day it even is currently
World building is so intricate and interesting and I absolutely live for it- but it’s literally so frustrating sometimes learning and remembering everything
Okay Sera being less irritated about her studies being interrupted because it’s Corin is cute
Fuck
I still don’t know if I’m supposed to like Sera
Tashday, Fersday, Kyrsday, Tensday, Vasday, and Wyddsday- either I can’t count or they’re missing a day. And what order do they go in? I need a calendar insert pls and thanks
Wait wait did he just run into an ex? What is this sndlsnsin “long-buried emotions”??
Oooo we get a name. Cecily Lambert
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I didn’t possibly think I could relate to Corin anymore than I already do but here I am
The dorm chiefs introduce themselves to everyone? How cute and Curtis didn’t seem at all annoyed by Corin asking so many questions I love when upperclassman in books aren’t rude for no reason. It’s such a tiring trait they often have smh
I need his exams to hurry up because I would very much like to get back to the fast paced tower scenes-
I know absolutely nothing about Jin but I love him immensely
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