#(its complicated lol even i dont understand it)
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have you ever considered...that identifying out of woman/girlhood because you don't relate to the societal implications, expectations, etc... contributes to making womanhood (feel) even more restrictive? maybe you feel better when thinking of yourself as anything but a girl/woman because you do not feel like a woman (what does that even mean?) but in my opinion you just added another brick into the prisonwall that is gender.
#just my opinion#i wish it was more accepted to question gender identity and to encourage others to question WHY they dont feel like#they “fit” their gender#and your actions have consequences for others too#there will be girls after you who UNDERSTANDABLY hate being perceived as female but their take away will not be that society sucks for wome#and needs to be changed and change happens with every gnc woman and girl who stands her ground and says fuck you to the gendered expectatio#placed upon her from the moment of her birth#but she will take away that as she does not fit the narrow societal definition of womanhood that there is no space for her in it and#that SHE needs to change and this goes on and on until womanhood is simply the label for people who present the most sexist stereotype of#what a woman is#and the fact that i get asked for my pronouns since having short hair and the girl with long hair next to me isnt is a fucking sign of that#and also i beg you to question why a pronoun a tiny word other ppl use when talking about you is SO loaded with negative/positive#implications that it holds so much importance for you#all this applies specifically for ppl without dysphoria btw#i also believe that dysphoria is at least heavily influenced by societal expectations too but its a bit more complicated#personal#you may send me death threats now lol i dont even care anymore#radfem safe#radblr#radfems do touch
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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okay i lied i never want to see my dad again :) he can die alone with his cars :)
#i dont understand!!! im so fruatrated lol#hes supposed to help my brother who just got out of jail and has no where to go#and was all set up to stay with my dad but ofc the unreliable piece of gutter shit that he is decides to throw him out for no reason#which he does all the time. because hes a piece of shit!!!! i'm not my brother's biggest fan but that means my mom has to stress and worry#and shits complicated so my brother isn't allowed Here and can't stay with her#and its just. jesus christ. i hate this man. be a fucking father for once in your life you fucking stupid prick#'call me any time you need anything i'll answer any hour etc'#NO FUCK YOU DUDE. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.#you can't even do the bare minimum of letting your son sleep on your fucking couch for a few months you don't get shit from me#i won't even visit your fucking grave asshole
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Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?
#like i dont even mean the actual textual stuff like the two gods loving each other i mean like#while the narrator himself does say that he is not the protagonist at all the voices do in fact count him as one of them and#both the narrator and the voices are described as shattered glass pieces on the floor#and im saying that just to contextualise what im about to say because i feel like the narrator is an echo of someone who was in#a relationship with another person and is trying to 'slay' the memory of this person and defeat death not only literally but#on a metaphorical level (as in the death of a relationship). if you do slay her you destroy her memory and in that way you do not know her#at all nor do you care to#and the routes would be the perspectives held by different parts of you. shes literally a being that changes based on who perceives her#but metaphorically thats just how people work isnt it? relationships are complicated and there is a part of you who sees someone as a razor#and there is a part of you who sees them as a damsel and another who sees them as a god etc etc#its like youre a person who is trying to make sense of the situation and; which is why the construct of the princess is made up of#several vessels called perspectives. you understand the whole of what you think only when you take apart all your perspectives;#and theres a you who isnt you anymore who doesnt want to do this. hes telling you to just destroy it. it was wholly wretched and wholly bad#and it changed which is a crime in itself. theres an echo of you. and theres you; built by this echo because thats how the self works#we are each our own god and we build ourselves. the different voices are like different parts of you#much like the vessels are the equivalent of the voices. theyre the finite confined perspectives; aspects of a whole person#and slaying her in this context would obviously mean literally just destroying the memory and deciding that change and all it brings#is an awful thing. though im not yet sure what the difference between leaving with the whole and between separating yourself#and leaving with just an aspect would be.#thats probably like the only thing thats kinda ruining this interpretation lol#oh and obviously a lot of the routes have like very strong relationship symbolism. specifically a lot of them feel like#scenes from a relationship that is falling apart. for example in the adversary and then the fury when you run away the dialogue#basically mimics a partner running away from a conflict and the other one destroying themselves because of it#witch and the thorn are both heavily Esop-coded and the text itself says that its about two people hurting each other even though they love#each other but both are afraid of the other one and of being vulnerable. thorn is about finding forgiveness in one another#and deciding to be better and love each other despite the hurt youve caused each other due to your problems#etc etc#like am i insane am i mental am i projecting?
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every time top surgery is getting discussed in the news a trans guy will be like wow it sucks that everyone is being so publicly disgusted by my body with no repercussions it's as though they don't think we're people with feelings. and then a million people will jump in like ALSO SOME CIS WOMEN (the only people who can get breast cancer) ALSO LOOK LIKE THIS. this picture of a trans man that everyone is calling a mutilated freak instantly made me think of cis women, and look at her living her best life! misgendering? i'm a trans ally but come on, it's a drawing, don't you think that's being a bit silly? art is about interpretation anyway - we should celebrate ALL afabs who get mastectomies, for whatever reason ^.^
#um.txt#its true trans people are mutilated freaks who have no right to want to not be called mutilated freaks by every major news outlet#but wont someone think of the cis people?#i understand the point when its made sparingly. but when its the first thing people jump on without even acknowledging#that trans people's bodies are currently a public spectacle for the public to gag over. well yeah it does feel like#they dont think we have feelings lol.#ntm people of any gender can have medical complications that lead to having breast tissue removed. so the constant comparisons to#cis women feel. well. this is word for word an exchange i saw on twitter and they were talking about afabs so lol#only 'afabs' are capable of getting breast cancer apparently. and breast cancer is the only reason for breast tissue removal. im so smart.#sorry this costa shit is pissing me off. my grandparents are telegraph/mail readers so u can imagine how its been going#watching half my family including my little brother be slowly radicalised against me bc of the right wing pull of this country 🥰#and im powerless to stop it bc im just a wokey tra and they wont take me seriously 😁
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i do fr need to work on differentiating between "actually middleclass" and "doesnt live paycheck to paycheck" lmao bc that is something i struggle with... obviously ik i have more in common with like. even somebody whos fr middleclass disney vacations every year. I know i have more in common with them than i do with bezos but god at least i dont have to see bezos being annoying in front of me every day KJANDJKLNLJD
#bc its like this. i obviously have way more contempt for a billionaire. obviously. but ive never met an actual billionaire yfm. and i Have#met middleclass ppl and A lot not all but a lot. are so insufferable and ikkkk not all of them or whatever but like. i constantly got shit#for being poor from middle class kids and like. ik im supposed to be class solidarity with them bc were all poor when compared to a#billionaire but goddd fucking damn they make it difficult . ik its like well the upperclass Wants the lowerclass and middleclass to be at#eachothers throats bc it means they dont pay attention to the upperclass walking over the both of them. i knowwww. but i can multitask#major in hating rich people minor in hating the middleclass...#THIS ISNT RLY RELATEDFTO THE LAST POST AT ALL i just have a lot of like. complicated feelings abt classism basicallyy.#like. i wouldnt wish poverty on anybody it fucking sucks. but as a kid i did sometimes fantasize abt swapping lives with my classmates who#had more money than me Not even bc i wanted to live their life but just so they would like. see the apartments i lived in and see the room#i shared with both of my siblings (weeman didnt exist yet lmao) and just like. look in the fridge. bc i just rly wanted ppl to get it lol..#there was this one assignment that was like. wants vs needs and ppl kept putting needs as like. A big backyard. vacation once a year. my ow#personal bedroom etc and ik they were kids but it was like. insanely frustrating to have these kids who had like. never had to live without#Wants. yk. bc then i would just write down like. food. shelter. water. thats it lmao i even had clothes as a want instead of a need. and#they were making fun of me bc my list was so short and its like . look man i have gone without these three things on multiple occasions. yk#and now i try to be like. its good that there are ppl who have never experienced that i dont want ppl to have to experience that especially#like. that was in 4th grade lol. i was 9. i shouldnt have been worrying abt bills and stuff and none of my classmates knew anything abt tha#and thats a Good thing they shouldnt have. but theres this selfish part of me that wishes they did KANDJNS bc its so insanely isolating to#have ppl like. interrogating you abt why your shoes are so worndown or why your winter jacket is too small yk. and you cant say 'my family#cant afford better/new ones' bc they dont even understand what money is. yk. IDK. im just very sensitive abt these kinds of things KANDNW..#perhaps a bit too oversensitive at times but yk. im working on it and im working on not being spiteful abt it bc like. yes it was isolating#but it was a good thing that the kids didnt relate to it yk. kids shouldnt relate to that and i shouldnt have felt that way bc no kid shoul#im also Ik i bring it up constantly but im still so mad abt that time my friends heard me say Yeah i have to go to court against my dad nex#wednesday . and they didnt say anything and then one of them went Ughhh my dad wont buy me the newest iphone hes buying me the newest#samsung instead But i have an iphone app that i spent 50 dollars on that wont transfer !!!!!! and then she endedup getting the iphone#anyways. sry ikk its grudge and i need to let it go but im still peeved... brinn there are people that are dying .#and also now i know that like. a lot of the other kids in my class Did understand and were just like. posturing. yk. a few of those kids#were from the same neighborhood as me lmao i was just too autistic to realize we werent supposed to be honest 💀 but yes. sry for this like#manifesto i am just thinking out loud..... well not bc this is text famously a written form of communication but we all understand. anyways
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i am having traumatized kid thoughts so dont read the tags if it makes you uncomfortable
#i just think its weird that while my abuse was the worst thing that happened to me im just too used to the fact it happened#the few memories i have are horrible but my brain registers them as just memories. like going to the park#they are extremely fucked up but also. 'my dad once hit me so hard i ended up on the floor' and 'i went grocery shopping yesterday'#are both things that happened. and thats why sometimes i dont realize i *shouldnt* freely talk about my trauma to people i barely know#it can make them uncomfortable and thats the most understandable thing ever; especially if they didnt went through trauma too.#im the problem here; whos too sensitive due to trauma but ironically desensitized to it. sometimes i have days where i get crisis#for everything that happened; but other days im just “well that was a weird time in my life lol shit just happens i guess”#while still having to deal with the consequences of it.#theres also the thing i cant imagine a childhood + teenage years without abuse. i try to think about it but i go blank.#its such an integral part of myself i cant imagine my life taking a different route. no way it could be different; it just had to happen.#why; its something i will forever wonder. it shouldnt have happened but it just had to too. its complicated.#also my horrible memory to the point i cant tell at what age a specific event happened. im not even able to give an approximate#because i genuinely have no idea. maybe it happened when i was 10; or maybe when i was 15. no fucking idea pal. the years all blur together#idk things are just like that#abuse tw#negative#? not sure; not really a vent just thinking out loud about serious stuff
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Ok thought triggered by a shitty comment on that thing i reblogged, way earlier now bc i got busy and drafted this lol.
Why is it when people have delusions or hallucinations, its treated by people on this website as if its completely not their fault and they cant help it and people need to be understanding (which, correct!!)
But if someone has RSD or other problems where their brain is telling them that people hate them or are mad at them, thats on THEM and they need to control their emotions and deal with it themselves and stop making it other people's problem?
It just feels so hypocritical?
I've just become so so much more aware recently of how shittily people treat people that have emotional instability issues, or whatever the proper term is here,
Obviously theres a limit where it still ends up not okay, and theres absolutely things you can and should do to help cope with it, but like, acting like people should be able to regulate their emotions completely 24/7 is ridiculous and horrible? Especially when the way to help is something as simple as reassuring someone that things are in fact okay. Especially if that person is your friend.
#*new creative post tag here*#e_e stupid opinion(?) bullshit that i'm not sure why i'm bothering typing tbh. sighs.#getting better at handling my own internal shit has just made me have even more empathy towards people who are struggling??#i feel like this probably comes across as making up a guy to be mad at lol#but i've definitely seen educational and understanding posts about example 1 (which! is good!)#yet still constantly see the mindset of 'you dont owe your friends emotional labor!!' & that its horrible#to have emotions that may effect someone negatively.#like wow. its almost as if humans and their relationships and emotions are complicated and people should try to understand eachother
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i am sooo sad idk who to talk to or how to talk about it. cried on the phone earlier today. i'm sad i'm scared and it's just like...ok i have 2 weeks and then class starts and i'll be ok
#seeing an academic counselor next tuesday but its for disability services technically so remains to be seen if they will also be able to#give like... degree planning advice? career advice?? thats kinda where i'm at like i don't have a hs diploma so college is complicated#i dont understand my options wrt transferring from CC to a state college. or if going to an out of state orprivate college is even an optio#i dont know if i could apply to schools without getting an associates degree first. i realllly need this counselling lol#distracted myself from being sad and scared at least. just need to wait for tuesday!!
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All are shit because there's no horses . Fuck it all #emo ..
What's the best MXTX novel?
I might try my hand at reading one of MXTX's lengthy ass novels but I'm curious to know which one people think is the best? Put aside any other adaptations like dramas or comics or animation...just the novel
#to be real i do think its kind of toxic to compare them all#especially on an objective level because people will like what they like theyre all different stories with different character dynamics#but i will say scum villain is the shortest the easiest to understand and has a good assortment of characters that people wont kill you for#liking#it has a lot more focus on the side characters than the other 2 which judging by the Jiang cheng icon im guessing would be ops forte#even if you dont like bingqiu at first theres moshang or liushen or zhushen or#its a very open environment very easy to shop around and see if you like something#mdzs might be a learning curve if youre a big cql guy because wangxian basically have a completely different fundamental relationship#in the books. some people like it more some people like it less but in the books its a lot more drawn out and like ermm#old person sappy LOL its very much focused on nostalgia and reclaiming youth#which they couldnt rlly do for cql because timeline nonsense with filming and whatnot#tgcf is very long and complicated and in general pretty fun honestly but requires a lot of wading thru stuff thats just ok#when its good its very good. when its not its just boring and not very good#and the very good scenes start to feel few and far between when theres like 500 chapters#and if you like a side character well . 50/50 how happy youll be by the end of it
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So many people not understanding the jjk anime 😭😭😭
#they spoonfeed you every technique#how can you not understand?#even worse when 'lol yapping season i only watch the fights'#and then complaining that its too complicated and you dont understand#maybe pay attention#maybd theyre yapping for a reason#maybd there is plot#i can understand if you call it mid shonen or when the more complicated techniques are a bit confusing#but bro#pls think a bit#sooooo many people not understanding what happened in the last ep#sometimes you have to actually engage with the media#if you only watch for the fights#fine#you do you#but to complain about not understanding uffff#and it not making sense#uffff#and i have seen a lot of people calling it useless/yapping/fighting season#basically saying nothing happens besides fighting and useless talking#????????#23 ep#ending with the destruction of tokyo#the protagonist going through so much growth and emotional Turmoil and ending up being a wanted criminal#sealing of the most op character#raising the stakes#the antagonist winning#major cast members dying#???????
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hello ^^
was wondering if youd be able to write something about the demon brothers (and maybe diavolo too) with mc whos a little dumb? as in they forget a lot of stuff (what day it is, where they put something only a few seconds ago, etc) and dont know a lot of things even if its obvious. theyre also a bit gullible and fall for fake news or scams a lot. basically a bimbo/himbo type of mc.
hi!! yeah sure thing!
actually went to google if there was a gender neutral version of bimbo himbo and apparently there actually is
presenting: thembo! haha I love this term
enjoy :)
Thembo/Himbo/Bimbo Mc
Lucifer
very protective of you
can't help but internally smile whenever you forget your train of thought or asks him what today's date is for the third time
if there's an unreliable news source that keeps finding it's way into your hands he sees personally that they mysteriously goes out of business
gotten surprisingly good at finding things you lost, like he'll just move one thing out of the way and what you're looking for will be there (big mom energy here)
Mammon
he's a himbo himself tbh
you're cut from the same cloth so you can be silly together
100% both of you will ask each other the time, check your D.D.D., and only leave that situation with what percent it's at so you have to check again and still don't have the time
you match each other's energy so well it's meant to be
Levi
he's not quite sure how to feel at first
he gets overwhelmed by the amount of questions you ask, but once you start asking questions about his games, you're instantly close
he doesn't mind repeating himself since you actually care about him
sometimes he forgets everything besides gaming so he gets it
Satan
if Mammon is your birds of a feather flock together, he's your opposite attract moment, even better than Lucifer
he always makes sure to let you know if something you've heard is fake or not and always makes it a lesson even though despite you listening, never seems to stick but that's ok he still loves you
however he loves how you embrace all of the things he loves even if you don't fully get it, like all the more complicated books he reads for fun
it's alright he has enough brains for the both of you lol
Asmo
sometimes he's very himbo so he has solutions to your problems
gives you a cute little invisible ink pen that activates when you stand or sit in spots you're in a lot to write on your arm with since regular ink isn't cute (solomon made it <3)
always asks you if you have everything before you leave the house with a checklist, and when you got home
please make sure to thank him!!
Beel
he also has the same oblivious nature, but he's more dense while you're more airhead
if you put your heads together (and with a little help from belphie) you can usually figure it out
will help you look for your D.D.D. while the both of you use the flashlight on your D.D.D.
ultimate duo fr
Belphie
he thinks you're so silly but tries to keep any playfully mean comments to a minimum
sometimes he can't help but poke fun at you but afterwards he always tells you he's sorry and tells you you're pretty
straight up puts tracking devices on important items that you handle everyday so that if you lose something, you can easily find it again, such as your toothbrush and textbooks
Diavolo
another sorta himbo, since he seems like he has no idea what he's doing but actually is very aware
if you lose something and really can't find it, no worries! he can just buy you a new one or have the Little D's search for it since they'll do anything to help you out
very understanding and sweet about it since he kinda gets it
the both of you can embrace this lifestyle together
#obey me#obey me!#obey me x reader#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me beel#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me lucifer#obey me belphie#obey me diavolo#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me mc#headcanons#gn reader
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if anyone is truly so kindhearted do read my tags lol
hear me out?
IDEA 1.👆
IDEA 2. 👆( tysm @kosmokai for the idea )
#more like 5 days to go huh.#ngl the first idea is comfortable since it is just a blog meaning I am forever free to change layouts without changing fic formats#or anything. thats too advantageous since I would be a person with blog rather than a scientist with a theorem to prove like in here#beomnoullistheorem is complicated in a way and isn’t a true theorem since there are points where idgaf about my layout#however I heartfully and wholly won't have to gaf in the idea 1. its a comfortable idea ngl.#THE SECOND IDEA is complicated. Cute and really pretty but I will say it. email format for fics guidelines & mlist and contacts for moots#and anons. It doesnt have elements of true email format so in a way I am a little unsatisfied with it.#it is catchy and attractive because of that search bar those link boxes and that mail box. Can you understand what i feel?#i dont wanna be an incomplete ass with my blog. it needs to be PERFECT from head to toe.#FIRST IDEA is the most ideal but i wanna see results and figure out how to finish that format of emails.#however the first idea is my biased one for now so even when the results say the second one DEPENDING ON MY MOOD i will stick to one.#so feel free to drop some ideas? i dont mind.#i wont say how i am making guidelines but its pretty simple and if by any chance I am moved by your idea I will figure out#something to blend it in and make a good theme.#I am a slight perfectionist so dont mind me I wanna be perfect with everything like my fic formats which are HEAVEN PERFECT.#icymi <3#tell me lol i am confused
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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
- [ ]
first off i hate this ask and i think youre a freak. in any other world i wouldve blocked you for this but unfortunately for both of us i actually like this type of philosophy. dont send this shit to anyone else though
i dont think its right to compare human sexuality to the same thing in animals, to get that out of the way. im sure until a certain point it comes from the same biological impulses, but human beings have way more complicated social structures and reasons for coupling that just do not exist in other animals. our social behaviours are what make us unique in the animal kingdom and that definitely extends to gender and sexuality. so theres that
people love to tout 'gender is a social construct' around like its a criticism in and of itself, which i think betrays a misunderstanding about social constructs in general. theyre the foundations we build language on to better understand each other, and affected by a whole host of cultural and historical factors. just because theyre subjective and complicated doesnt mean they arent real. in terms of the effect they have on peoples lives they may be the most real thing that exists
for example, 'kindness' is a social construct. the definition and ways it is enacted differ greatly across personal and cultural lines. but no one would ever suggest a world where kindness doesnt exist or loses meaning, because its an essential part of the way we interact with each other (in the same way i dont really see a world where gender entirely ceases to exist, mainly just one where people have more fun with it. im not a psychic though so who knows)
similarly, sexuality in humans is another social construct. i think the driving biological forces behind it are very real, but the labels people attach to those impulses are subjective attempts to express their inner world to the people around them if that makes sense. and those same biological impulses are ALSO subject to social ideas of gender, because those ideas are established at birth and reinforced over a persons entire lifetime
to use myself as an example, im a gay trans man. ive identified as other things in the past, because i was trying to pick apart feelings i had and express them to others in an attempt to find community. my identity might change as i get older and experience new things, or it might not. i identify as gay because im not attracted to the social concept of women, and someone i would otherwise be attracted to might lose all appeal after i find out they fall under that concept (this has happened before w transfems pre and post coming out lol)
of course, the real REAL answer to this is that trying to give queer identities rigid and objective definitions is a fools errand, and also lame as fuck. someone might identify as gay and be more attracted to general masculinity than men as a social category, maybe they fool around with a couple of butch women without considering themself any less gay. two otherwise identical people might be a butch lesbian and a gay trans man without either of those identities coming into conflict. they might even be the same person at different times of the week
the labels people choose to use are communication tools, not objective signifiers. if you dont understand them, they probably arent talking to you
social constructs are everything. we as humans have the unique ability to interpret our own messy desires and impulses into words that other people can use to form an idea of someone else in their mind. its how we build connections, and of course it isnt perfect because trying to squeeze someones entire personal history and the centuries of context that defined it into a handful of syllables is going to leave some room for error. but its all we have, yknow? so we keep trying. and i think thats much more human than any imposed objective 'truth' could ever be
tldr we live in a society dipshit. get with it
#ask#long post#i feel like i should tag for the ask bc it sucks but idk what so like. lmk#gender#trans stuff#i love you language philosophy i love you messy human relationships i love you contradictory identities
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please lore dump ab ur tmbg au. i care.
LOLLLL funny to me u say... i got two other ppl asking for this exact thing soooo. well. um. non-losers look away now ig... my See The Constellation Au...
okay um. basic gist is that flansburgh is an astronomy student at some college in '92... doesnt really matter which. um. and late one night he ends up making brief contact with a constellation guy that, while he first connected him from sheer tired joking, he starts to like actually see (and hear the next night which is honestly freakier). the constellation is linnell obv though this is technically a little complicated
um. so he forms an insane connection with this constellation p much. initially theyre more curiousities to eachokther than actual FRIENDS but it very quickly becomes a friendship just. well honestly probably just bc flansburgh is bad at being professional....? its okay bro idbe freaking too
okay on the topic of flans seeing and hearing him its time to explain this umm. i dont wanna pull something lame and say "oh hes just imagining the constellation LOL" bc thats not whats happening but the constellation is vry much shaped by his psyche. ultimately the constellation is sort of just a sentient chunk of the stars but flansburghs mind has sort of given him an actual form??? if this makes sense??? to everyone ekse hes invisible p much but he and flans share an astral link of some sort. freakssss.... um. but p much hes very much real he just pulls from flansburghs concious to give more understandable form to himself.
flansburgh mental and social state very much ends up deteriorating over the course of the au sorta... its not that hes like. acting crazy he just stops waking up at normal times and talking to actual people less and less. he kind of yearns to be able to have real communication with the constellation outside of the sky and that. weighs on him. i wont bury the lead ill just say see the constellation is probably a song avout killing yourself.
again on their relationship it very quickly turns into something casual as opposed to any sort of REAL research. flansburgh had a lot of questions about what gives the constellation life and how he moves early on but apon being given the chance to bitch about going to colkege uhhh yeah. hes doing that. the constellation isnt completely clueless on human culture actually hes seen a lot of it but probably just doesnt understand certain finer aspects.
okay other thing to say. linnell is also just a real fucking guy in this au and i havent mentioned it until now bc it can get confusing. PRETTY MUCH. he abd flans were really good friends in highschool but insteah of ever going off and starting a band together they just drifted apart. the constellation looks and sounds a lot like linnell (to the most recent of his memory, likely a few mundanes tapes he was able to snag) but ultimately is not actually linked to him. even flansburgh doesnt really realize the similarity until he ends up finally seeing linnell again for a while on the train. he got a job working for one, and because its an overnight ride on obe of those old fashioned ones just because i think they look cool, they end up chatting a bit. feel the need to say flansburgh is a lot less shaken by this than he really should be... like even the constellation is asking about that guy that bears a strangely apt resemblance to him.
um. short of the au is this timeine ig
1. flansburgh resents his astronomy studies
2. flansburgh meets constellation for first time
3. flans develops constellation friendship
4. flansburgh begins ditching certain more um. applicable stidies just to reasearch and understand this guy
5. as they continue to grow closer and more isolated flansburgh takes a long train ride back home, meeting linnell briefly and promicing to really get back to him this time (the mail address sits unused atop a stack of frantic sketches and half finished papers)
6. this guy starts like actually seriously yearning for the constellation to be a real human guy
7. through an offhanded comment of the constellations, flansburgh is lead to believe after around 11 months of contact with the constellation that there is infact a way to be with him in the sky which no is NOT a good deal but hes a little desperate and honestly living off college student money
8. i lay my head on the railroad tracks
it sounds like tragic yaoi this way but i assure you not only is it not YAOI.its not that tragic okayyyyy
other tidbits i cant fit other places hrm.... flansburgh was like incredibly social before all this. like he wasnt already a little introverted he straight up threw college parties. the constellation has communication with other parts of the sky and is not well liked for only having one fucking guy that gaf about him... um. to the stars constellations are honestly a huge thing because the expression of human expirience and guidance onto them is like a massive gesture of love and its part of why the constellation likes flans so much. becahse of this he ceases to exist in a major way after flansburgh is gone. and last but not least. robin MIGHT b here. im still thinking about it...
( @spyjam24 since u asked too... )
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hi sorry to come into your inbox for this but i just need. to gripe. every new bit of info we get about the new DA game is making me more and more preemptively tired lol. mostly the way it's looking like eeevery bit of lore that's been revealed has something to do with such and such book. or this comic over here. or this podcast from two years ago. or THIS podcast that is happening now that's a ~discord exclusive~. or this youtube series. or this random VA talk show. etc etc ad nauseam. i am so tired of videogames coming with HOMEWORK you're expected to do just to know what's going on
Please never apologise for sending messages!!
I think its honestly REALLY funny how bioware just doesn't know what it wants. On one hand they say that the new game is fine for newcomers, the way they did for dai, and use this as an excuse for how dumbed down some of the writing is - but then in the other hand the majority of the characters and plot beats have origins hidden behind pay walls.
It was already bad enough when, to understand each game properly you had to have paid for the previous one's dlc (want to know anders' past as a warden? Buy awakening! Want to know wtf is up with Morrigan and the eluvians? Buy witch hunt! Want to know who tf corypheus is and what hawke and varric even have to do with him? Buy legacy! Want to understand ANYTHING about veilguard? Play the descent AND trespasser, our epilogue that we hid behind a paywall!!!!!) and you know at least the dlcs were pretty good on their own so I could forgive it a little bit.
But there's so much extra media now omg I haven't touched a single one of the comics because I'm not rly into American comics, I've read almost all the books and some of them are genuinely fucking mid. And at least back in the day the books were more... Bonuses? You DONT need to read the stolen throne to understand anything on the games, but it's INTERESTING. it explores characters you mightve been curious about. I love that ! Or the last flight is really interesting, just, to see how the 4th blight was beaten, to get to know those legendary heroes, and know why griffons went extinct. A bit annoying because you do need to read it to also understand how the hell they're coming back - but it still feels a bit more like a bonus than a necessity.
But then we have asunder, which also in general just kinda sucks as a book, that is really really needed to understand the mage rebellion, Fiona, Cole, and the cure for tranquility. The characters will explain a lot of those things to you in game, but it leaves you with the certain feeling that you're missing something. It's a huge advertisement for asunder.
Similarly wicked eyes and wicked hearts is hollow if you haven't read the masked empire which is also my least favorite book because it's so damn fucking boring I literally never managed to finish it, but it's mostly because I hate Trick Weekes' writing lmfao. Gaider was wildly misogynistic but my god at least he was entertaining as a writer whenever he didn't butcher female characters.
That's two major plot beats in inquisition that require reading one of the books. And ofc it's major villain and another major plot beat that require having played the previous game's dlc to properly understand.
And since then we've had so much more. I don't know. It's just complicated because I *like* book characters showing up and the books having importance in the sense that, I like reading and I'm a lore nerd lol. But I think there's a lot of frustration to be had as to the sheer quantity of extra media you need to consume if you want to be invested in the story. Because you could say "well just don't buy them then" but I LIKE dragon age, it's story, and plot, but omg some of the books and comics are also so hard to find and so EXPENSIVE. I think tevinter nights costs like 20£ if you want it on paperback rather than Kindle, and don't get me started on the dozens of comics.
At least the podcasts and discord only content isn't nearly as offensive, imo, because they're free. But also there's another issue with all of this extra content - it's that it doesn't get fucking translated. Not often, anyway. Not in as many languages as the games do. That means there are many, many many many players and fans who are just not allowed to learn more about their favorite game series because they don't speak English, because theyre not rich enough to buy 10 books and 20 comics. It feels a bit wrong
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