#i just think its weird that while my abuse was the worst thing that happened to me im just too used to the fact it happened

[ghostcrows]

that damn web comic is rattling around in my brain ...

[nomaishuttle]

like itpisses me awfff actually my mom outting me. bc my family on my dads side is like. fairly conservative. and she just went in calling me connor using he him like. dude. do you wanna hse a tiny bit of fuckin tact. i didnt ask her to do that and she NEVER considered what name she should use for me. and like. luckily my extended family Just kinda went with it i think bc they felt guilty for. The zoo. and related events LOL. and theyve been rly good abt it even my papaw and i wasnt sure he would. so yk... but i wish i had like. gotten to choose who knew yk. IDK basically

[malkaviian]

i am having traumatized kid thoughts so dont read the tags if it makes you uncomfortable

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

ok you made good points for the most part but something in your helluva post confuses me: how in the world has stolas been "sexually abusing octavia the entire series"?

going off of the definition of sexual abuse (rape, assault, trafficking, molestation, coercion, etc.) i cannot think of anything that even remotely points to evidence of that.

surely, SURELY you aren't claiming that just because he said something sexual on the phone in front of her? not even TO her or ABOUT her? that's a misstep for sure, but going so far as to call that sexual abuse is... just not correct.

maybe if he did it on purpose or specifically because she was around, but to me it reads like he forgot she was there and got caught up in the phone conversation. there's no evidence that it happened more than once either, so "the whole series" is a biiig stretch.

i REALLY hope that specific moment isn't what you mean, because that's the kind of claim that really softens the meaning of the term... but i really can't think of anything else that even suggests it.

I feel like theres definitely a way to say "Hey! We seem to disagree on this interpretation of this show! I have no fucking idea where you are coming from, can you explain?" Without turning it into a...definition....of rape.......to the rape victim........and also accusing said rape victim of "softening" language?? Would the term sexual harassment be better?? I personally think it's arbitrary to say "thats not technically sexual abuse, its just weird, stop calling it that" when it's something sexual.....that hurts someone?? Idk its semantics.

So anyway ignoring the vibes you brought to the table, I was talking to my irl friend about Helluva, back when the stolitz shit was happening. And I was complaining because of how CLEAR the abuse in that dynamic is to me. And he was like "I think cuz of your trauma that you're reading into it too much and taking it too seriously." And I was like "IF VIV WANTS POINTS FOR DOING SA REP, THEN IM GONNA TAKE EVERYTHING SUPER SERIOUSLY"

The difference between us is that I was sexually abused, and trafficked(not sex trafficked but still) so when I watch this show, I IMMEDIATELY pick up on things happening there. While he doesn't because he's """normal"""" and not traumatized, so he just sees fun dick joke show about dick and balls. I think a lot of this fandom is a mix of both. People like me picking up on signs, and other people who just are here for jokes and don't necessarily notice all the really bad shit because thats not exactly their lived experience. Completely understandable, I don't hold it against anyone for not noticing it the way I do. But I do see it, and wanna bitch about it.

We're in hell. This show is set in the actual human bible hell damnation hell for hell people. I think there's a way to read some characters as "uwu babies", but I'm not gonna. It's hell. In hell. I'm going to be giving no one the benefit of the doubt, and assume the worst in people until proven otherwise. Especially when the characters in question are dickbags who never actually change.

What Stolas is doing is...sexual harassment? Is that better??? Stolas is openly engaging in pretty intense kinkplay around his daughter and that is in fact, Bad.

(its also entirety possible Octavia knows that this dynamic is sexually violent and is forced to listen to her dad want to rape a guy, and no dont come telling me thats wrong too, fuck off.)

And as someone who's been through the exact same kind of trauma as Octavia, I can say it definitely fucked me up✨ The only thing I'll give Stolas is that it doesn't seem like he's been doing this around her since she was a small child like I was, but its still bad. That's still inappropriate behavior, that's still something he should know to stop immediately when he sees she's around. Octavia is a depressed, struggling teenager who needs love and support while dealing with this sudden divorce. Stolas spends EVERY episode that is supposed to be about them, either tryna fuck Blitz in front of her, or ignoring her to interact with Blitz and or yell at Stella.

Stolas' problem as a character(not a bad thing, this should be a story/character arc) is that he's deeply entitled, and doesn't see how is actions effect others. Stolas is upset that he was forced into marriage? Wow, isn't Stella such a bitch for doing that too him? No empathy for the woman also being raped and abused through this forced marriage. Stolas is gay and wants to fuck? Let's not think about the class difference, and that he's literally holding Blitz' survival in his hands in exchange for cock. Stolas wants the sexual experiences he was robbed of because of his trauma? Who cares if it destroys his family and makes his daughter feel worthless, he wants to sext. His arc should be about facing the fact that he's abusive, and hurtful. He is hurting Blitz, and Octavia with his sexual behavior. But if he was supposed to be a "good" character with "good intentions", then he should have no problem apologizing and ACTUALLY changing. Stolas doesn't seem upset that they're upset, he's upset he got "caught". He's upset Blitz demands respect and doesn't suck his dick the second he shows any remorse. He's upset that he can't fight Stella and fuck all he wants and instead has to deal with his moody teenager ACTUALLY needing attention and support. My comment about "the entire series" is because the only things we see are the bad parts of their relationship with no development, even if its only a few episodes.

Also since we're playing the virtue game, saying "but he didn't do it on purpose" is actual victim blaming and rapist apologist behavior so like, good job?? Saying rape or sexual abuse isn't as big of a deal just because it was an accident, or unintentional is definitely a take to have. Now, I'd say this is a stupid furry series that doesn't matter in the long run, but you're the one whining about language??

Anyway. Hazbin/Helluva are poorly made shows that annoy me. Pls stop fucking with people about shit like "softening" language and all that "real victims" and all that purity culture savior complex bullshit. Its super weird. Rambling times over, its like 5am im going back to sleep. Also I'm proship, this is media analysis not a moral thing except for the part where I was fucked with over language.

[bigskydreaming]

And I fully acknowledge that a BIG gripe I have with how willing people are to ignore or invalidate scenes where Bruce is abusive with his kids because it doesn't fit into their preferred view of him as a character....

Like, I have my issues with how people interact with abuse as a topic and trope in media, granted, but I've always additionally taken issue with how matter of fact a lot of Batfandom is about being willing to look the other way about many of Bruce's worst moments because they're like That's Not MY Bruce...

And its like, okay, I get that, I can sympathize.....

But its both weird and OBNOXIOUS to me how at the same time, so much of fandom is so much LESS willing to extend the same kind of allowances to Dick's worst moments, even when....as I was just talking about....many of THEM have brainwashing or amnesia or other contexts that a ton of Bruce's worst moments just flat out do not have!

Whatever you may think about Bruce's scenes of abuse, it can not be denied that like....NTT #55? A hard, brutal story, but the Bruce in it was still in possession of his own faculties. He was grieving. Absolutely. But he was Bruce. Nobody ever tried to claim he was possessed, that someone was mind controlling him. He did that.

The Bruce who knocked out Dick's tooth in the Court of Owls story.....again, just Bruce. I don't even like citing that particular scene because I find it so gratuitous but yet again....this is not a possessed or mind controlled Bruce. Bruce with Jason in too many stories to name...Just Bruce. Etc, etc.

Now juxtapose that with the FIXATION so much of fandom has always had on the subject of DICK'S temper....even though....he has never actually tried to beat his family members to death, or punched them in a fit of anger (he's usually the one on the receiving end of Jason or Tim's punches, if not Bruce's)....

While at the same time citing things like.....Dick's scathing words to Donna in their fight while....he was brainwashed.....or his attitude towards Kory or Alfred in....the exact same story time frame. Rinse and repeat for the Ric Grayson era, or his attitude around the time of his intended wedding to Kory, when he was very much initially characterized as being all over the place and talking about feelings of violation in the aftermath of everything with Mirage....his fight with Roy over leadership of the Titans did NOT happen in a vacuum, and let's not forget about how completely twisted people have made Dick and Tim's dynamic during the Red Robin era when so much of what's claimed about Dick's behavior towards Tim is just...not even accurate, let alone without context, but all of this context? Across all of these instances? Lost completely when these specific moments in time are plucked out of their larger stories and stitched together to form the tapestry of Dick Grayson's Infamous Temper and Bad Acts Towards Friends & Family.

And that's so....ugly to me.

There's no escaping that juxtaposition, in my mind. The allowances that are made for Bruce's character, and many other Batfamily members like oh say, being able to see Jason as the one who values Tim the most out of all his siblings, never mind that time he almost beat him to death in Titans Tower, etc, etc.....

At the exact same time as these allowances are made, the exact OPPOSITE energy is displayed towards acknowledging and cataloguing the context of these various events upheld as proof of why Dick's Not So Great, Actually.

And that will always be at the heart of my issues with this fandom.

I'm actually fine with people not wanting to view Bruce as an abusive father. I GET IT. I can sympathize even as I personally do see value in exploring the dynamic that's resulted from many of these stories that others shy away from as its not what they want to see in these characters' stories.

But what I will never be fine with is how the character who has DEFINITIVELY been on the receiving end of more instances of physical abuse from his family, let alone Bruce himself.....is continually judged with an intense scrutiny on his temper, attitude and behavior towards the very friends and family who so often dole out harm to HIM.....that no other fans EVER subject their own faves to.

When the character continually abused in various stories is held to a higher standard of behavior than those who continually are shown hurting him just to make themselves feel better, all because nobody is willing to even hold those stories AGAINST the characters dishing out the abuse THERE.....

When fandom has so twisted and skewed things that he's commonly cited as being just as capable of being cruel and cutting to his various family members and friends as they have ever been to him, with this always taking the form of things he's said to them (usually under VERY extenuating circumstances, up to and including amnesia and mind control) even as his family members and friends continue to have instances of outright physical violence towards him (Jason & Tim punching him post Spyral, Bruce in NTT 55 and others, Donna punching him through a wall in the Brother Blood stories)....

And its not even framed as 'he can be just as bad as them' but it actually ends up being more like 'he can be worse than them actually' because nobody wants to bring up, let alone linger on all of those things I just cited about them doing to HIM....

I have a Very Big Problem with that, actually.

And frankly, I think more people SHOULD have a Very Big Problem with that.

Because some of those things are not like the others.

Not that you could tell from the way fandom talks about these characters.

[dc-polls]

"That Really Happened?!" DC Comics Tournament Entry #14

Domestic Abuse Ghost Possession

[ID: Two page comic spread of a giant Sinestro head smiling with tongue wrapped around Green Lantern John Stewart's leg. Figures below pose in anguish and dark buildings appear in the background. John yells, "You're dead, Sinestro!" To which Sinestro replies, "Not any more!" /END ID]

What Happened?

Jesus. Okay. SO green lantern: mosaic is already a really weird comic. The creator (who we don't talk abt and also was in prison until a couple of years ago) literally said (paraphrase) "Mosaic is the book I write when I get confused writing my other books". Like bro. Anyways it follows John Stewart (Green Lantern) as he tries to establish a peaceful society between a bunch of species (humans included) taken from their homeworlds and forced to coexist on this plant. Standard comic plot. NORMAL, even. Or so you'd think.

It's revealed that John is being possessed a times (blacking out) by the ghost of Old Timer, an evil Guardian (so like a smurf looking alien) who brought all the people to the mosaic in the first place. Plot-wise this still makes sense, GL: Mosaic is a spin off and this whole plot was kind of established in the main comic. It makes sense.

AND THEN YOU GET ISSUE NO. 3. John is inexplicably in a relationship with this woman Rose. This happens completely off panel and without explanation (although they did have some chemistry in the main GL title, it was a very complicated dynamic and there was even a joke about them NOT being in a relationship) [the joke was that rose's town was super scandalized bc they thought she was dating John (because aaaaghhhhh interracial relationship or whatever [this is like 1992] and shes from rural West Virgina and was all like no guys its not LIKE that (but like it actually wasnt)) so idk that was a thing that happened

But ANYWAYS in Mosaic #3 John and Rose are dating for some reason???? And then he picks her up and flies up and then drops her and laughs as she screams and falls. He also kicks her around and like beats her up in front of her son while she pleads with him to stop. So VERY much domestic abuse 👍love some absolutely insane fucking mischaracterization what the actual hell. Also he keeps using weird nicknames like calling her Rosie and himself Johhny or Daddy while possessed(?) SO I don't fucking know what that was the fuck

Anyways it's then revealed that this behavior was because of the GHOST! who could have thunk? However instead of the ghost CANONICALLY inside his head that was literally possessing him THE ISSUE BEFORE, turns out it was SINESTRO'S GHOST! how the fuck did he get in johns head you may ask? I could not tell you! He's just there! At this point I'm wondering what the actual fuck is going on and also how many ghosts are possessing John Stewart. Like HONESTLY. I've either entirely lost the plot by now or am just in shock over what is happening. Likely both.

Anyways John goes in his brain to fight the Sinestro ghost (who like ties him up with his tongue and calls him boy (and Sinestro daddy this time) and all sorts of insanely weird awful stuff) And then his girlfriend (who he ISNT DATING) forgives him because "it was the ghost". Absolutely incomprehensible arc. This happened in ONE ISSUE of this comic. The first ghost is not mentioned at all during this story

Also the worst thing abt this whole ordeal is that this is a spin off of an arc in the main GL title which was actually REALLY FUCKING GOOD. like it was great, I loved it. And yet somehow the author (may he die gruesomely) managed to forget what HE HIMSELF WROTE and all knowledge of characterization and turn his hero into a horribly mischaracterized domestic abuser in a plot thay makes no sense.also there was def some racist wack ass shit going on with this fr. The whole comic is honestly an ego trip for the writer it makes no fucking sense and every letter page is just two pages of him talking directly to the readers and telling them how smart he is. This is issue 3 and is as far as i got. Listen to me and do not read this comic

--

Tournament polls will be posted after all entries are up. As always you can find all posts related to the tournament using #dc-polls-trh

[csaventing]

Is it at all weird that I find that when I create characters with csa trauma or otherwise project my experiences onto a character though headcanons and such, I tend to not make it 1 for 1 what happened/how I remember it. That on its own doesn’t feel weird but something that worries me is that I usually make it “worse” for them than it was for me. My cope characters get raped and groomed and are stuck being abused for months or years. Then there’s me. I was just touched over my clothes while my abuser said some vile things to/about me. It only ever happened once, that or I was only even awake for it once. My mom found out and that was the end of it.

It makes me worried and feel bad, as if I’m trying to imply/pretend I went through more than I actually did. I don’t even share it with anyone besides my closest of friends who already know it’s a coping mechanism and what happened to me. But I wonder if what I’m doing is at best unnecessary or at worst gross/disrespectful

(I’m not well educated on discourse but if I’m not wrong this might be a part of a proshipping thing? We don’t have enough information to take a stance in anti vs pro proshipping and don’t intend to do so in this answer either. We ask that readers and commenters remain open and respectful. And if this ask doesn’t resonate with you, scroll away. Also, this might NOT be a proshipping thing and I am sorry to bring up that topic incase it was not 😅)

I don’t think it’s disrespectful nor gross nor unnecessary to make project in a way that make the characters have different experiences than you. But there are probably other people who could answer this a bit more in depth.

[a-wilson-collector]

I LIVED BITCH

(cw: noncon/rape, guns, disregard for gun safety, family abuse, forced isolation, medical neglect)

wanted to save this post for until i got to a safe place, but now that i am, i can give y'all a reason why i didn't post much if at all.

its mostly because of my family.

on a scale from 1-10 (10 being the worst, 1 being the best) my mom and dad are 10, most of my dad's side of the family is like, 9.5 outside of grandma n pa. they are like an 8 or 7 depending on how pissy/petty i feel about them. my brother is like, 4. and my sister is the only one whose normal about everything so she's a 1.

the reason my mom n dad are so highly rated is because my mom would lowkey ghost me for the entire summer when school stopped, and my dad is, well, according to mom- "he never takes no as an answer."

makes me think about why i always gravitated towards noncon fanfics for wilson/maxwell. Im still working on that.

grandma n pa are 8 because my grandma defends my dad (and pretty much any violent male member of the family) and my grandpa WAVED A FUCKING LOADED GUN IN MY FACE on the day of the move. if his hand was NOT on the trigger, he could've shot me in any part of my body including my head

my brother is a 4 because he hasn't apologized for beating the shit out of me almost every day until i was 16, but he's gotten a lot better at controlling his anger.

my sister was the only one who realized that the only way she was going to stay in my life was being cautious, but also realizing why i wanted out so bad, since she went through most of this herself.

outside of that, i hid most of my art from my family because i could NOT handle the disappointment that my family would show if that their "adorable daughter" drew a guy ripping his face off, or drawing porn (tho that wasnt until years later, obviously.) thats why most of my art is violent or violent in nature. its what i grew up in. constant fights all the time. cps was called a few times but they didnt do anything outside of adding to the trauma pile

im tired and finally in a safe environment where i wont be threatened to be shipped off my dad's place, which, if that was to happen... I'd lose all of my support network, including doctors and psychiatrists. I'd be completely shut off from the outside world, including my boyfriend and friends on discord. in his mind, the internet is the reason i have such high needs, instead of, y'know, THE 'TISM.

as for my past, i have gone by "noonfish" or some variation of that on tumblr, but that was while i was stuck somewhere in the alt-right rabbit hole on yt since most of my family loves trump, which is why i nuked all of them. I am deeply ashamed of my past and i'm still working on it, i know i can be better tomorrow than i was today. If i had a nickel for every time my grandma defended a rapist, I'd have three nickels, which isnt a lot but its weird it happened with three people.

i understand if people also stop following for my previous "ties" to the alt right (i was pretty surface level, mainly memes), however i was like, what, 16? and extremely isolated to boot. Thank fuck i got anti-psychotics. i was losing my mind for YEARS due to undiagnosed schizo-affective disorder, which was in play since i was 8. I still remember the time i missed my bus going home from school in elementary school, and when my mom had me in the car, she drove into a parking space and proceeded to yell at me to stop telling the teachers because "i was scaring them" because i kept seeing shadow people in the hallways. all the doctors just assumed I was being racist or something? im not sure about that but the only thing that came out of that was me getting glasses (which, tbh i did in fact, need)

after that, it went lowkey until middle/high school, where it resurfaced again and will continue until i fucking die, so thats fun. if I didn't have schizo-affective disorder, i probably still would've fallen for the alt-right pipeline on yt when i was a child (because of unsupervised access to the internet), but at least i'd be able to make a coherent statement about it. i still hate all those people that helped make my mental illness worse to the point i thought only ohio existed for like, 6 months. shit was awful.

so yeah, thats why i've been so on n off. hope to get some art soon since its about time i should do a full render. maybe it will be two girls kissing.

[penguwastaken]

On ‘Danganronpa Togami’ also, I would be of the viewpoint that most of what happened in the present in terms of actual events not merely spoken of was real (unlike the interpretation of certain others) and that the way Borges worked was essentially like a more advanced versions of the vision filters from ‘Black Mirror’, replacing what was seen/heard by Blue Ink with regards to the identities of (some of) the people who were being encountered then being obscured/replaced with others if they seemed to contradict what Blue Ink’s reality (as Byakuya’s biographer) was supposed to be, and what words they were saying. That what can be guaranteed to have been real 100% would be those scenes Borges wouldn’t have had the right context to in order to properly filter it off into something else, like most of the Ultimate Despair encounters, Byakuya calling Junko, the brief Mukuro encounter, Toko showing up and Genocide Jill going into action, etc., as well as any information given by characters in the games (like there being 15 to 108 Togami siblings). One particular fan theory building on this concept that I like being that the real Shinobu who died was the actual decapitator in the island flashbacks, Borges having switched around the identities of the major players in terms of what they did in presenting a facsimile of the past for her to look back upon. And that while the Ultimate Imposter may very well have been one of the many Togami siblings, it didn’t matter anymore to his present goals with Ultimate Despair, the ‘Kazuya’ Orvin made that way basically to see how his original plan might have gone if he hadn’t met Junko. It was a trilogy that seemed to assume one had played the other games/read the other novels, that its readership would understand what certain things would be referring to, even if not explicitly spelled out.

What would be your thoughts on the trilogy?

Ignore everything below, my mind has completely changed (lol). Read my updated review instead.

If you want a very short description of my opinion of Danganronpa Togami, it's basically this image.

I can't help but think that maybe if i read the Kagami Family Saga novels or if there were just better full translations, maybe i would have liked Danganronpa Togami more. But the truth is, I REALLY don't like Danganronpa Togami. It's honestly one of the worst media experiences I've ever had 😭

My biggest gripe is that i hate that any flaw with its storytelling can be exempt by just saying "well actually it was all fake and you don't know what's real and what isn't" because that just makes it worth nothing, if the bad stuff can be exempt then so can the good stuff. And it is HEAVILY implied that a majority of the novel is fake, the themes rely on it, it's the main point of the novel. And if they were real, that would make it actual dogshit and also just noncanon because it would contradict Danganronpa 3 and Zero.

I genuinely can't tell if I really like the twist or if I really hate it because it makes so much sense in retrospect but getting to that point was an actual pain to read, and the implications of it are also so baffling.

There's so much god awful stuff in this book like Kazuya and Suzuhiko, the weird recurring incest stuff, Byakuya's really bad and flanderized characterization, and all the absurd stuff that happens like Sakura projecting herself or the despair novel but it's all dismissed by the "it was all made up" thing which is so awesome but so stupid at the same time. If that twist was in literally any other novel I might like it but it's handled so poorly that I end up despising it.

Basically, I don't like this novel. And while parts of it matter, for the most part it can be easily dismissed because most of it was canonically made up.

I shouldn't have to read a completely separate book series to enjoy this. There was no need for all of the gross and poorly handled incest and sexual abuse stuff. Byakuya's characterization just makes him insufferable and his entire motive and actions is kind of gross. And to top it all off, NONE of it mattered. It's not like V3 where the events had an effect on the people involved or changed something, the book literally just describes it as another weekend in Byakuya's life and it's all forgotten and most of it didn't even happen. I sat through all of that for none of it to even matter. Basically what it results is self nullifying nonsense that means literally nothing as none of the events happened.

I'm sorry if you like this trilogy, I just can't find many positives. I went in thinking that maybe the hate for it was unfounded, I wanted to like it. I mean, I think Danganronpa 3 is great, I found redeeming qualities in Danganronpa S and Ultra Despair Girls. So if anyone can find something to like in an unpopular piece of Danganronpa media, it would be me. And honestly volume 1 wasn't even that bad, I remember thinking that it was kinda dumb but harmless. But my experience with Danganronpa Togami can best be described as a decent into madness. I have a lot of issues with it, but that's just my opinion.

[baby-yaga]

i totally get why art that seems "shock for shock-sake" is a turn off for some people. it honestly wasnt until earlier this year, after i remembered some really fucked up shit that happened to me, that i realized why i am so drawn to that kind of thing.

making a work that is shocking to be shocking isnt easy--decent writing, composition, themes, those all still apply. and then, theres the added challenge of writing about topics that are ~controversial~

i think the immediate thing that comes to mind is rape revenge, one of my favorite horror subgenres. one of my favorite rape revenge movies is i spit on your grave, the 2010 remake of the 1978 film. the original is, by todays standards, much more tame. the attack is far less brutal, the murders are less graphic, even the scenery [ connecticut in spring, as opposed to the remakes setting of louisiana in fall ] is much more green and vibrant, and more pleasant to look at in my opinion. i think both of these films have a reputation for being shlock--exploitative, misogynistic, torture-porn. and i dont even think they arent those things [ and the victim being a rich white woman, her attackers impoverished white men. these films are very classist in my opinion ].

rape revenge is a very controversial genre, made even more so by the fact that many of the most well known films are written and directed by men [ i spit on your grave, the original and its remake, same of the last house of the left and its remake, in fact female writers and directors are relatively new to this subgenre ]

if id been asked earlier this year, "what is it about this genre that you find so compelling?" i wouldve struggled to answer. i think the best i couldve come up with is something like, "catharsis." and i do find these films cathartic. they are tense and brutal, and at the end, when the bad guys have died their grotesque deaths, unable to harm anyone anymore, i breathe a sigh of relief. but the truth is, i like that they make people uncomfortable.

to me, these pieces of work existing, even though i havent made any of these works myself, are my own revenge. i want people to watch them, and i do get offended when someone finds them morally wrong. in the evilest parts of my soul i want to force people to watch these devastating, "pointless", "shocking-for-shocks-sake" films and feel even a fraction of what i do. for even a moment, feel as helpless, trapped, terrified, hurt, disoriented, enraged, and humiliated as i do. yes, i want people to be shocked. i want them to be shocked because i want them to feel it. i want their hearts and minds, souls and bodies to be as tainted as mine, even if its just a little bit. i want people to be as traumatized as i am.

i understand this isnt rational. for one thing, i am far from the only rape victim in the world. im not even the only childhood rape victim in the world. im not even the only victim of csam/sex trafficking victim in the world. im not the only person whos family had a "weird uncle", that everyone, even his victims, refused to acknowledge what he was. im not the only victim of sexual harassment and stalking. im just one of perhaps millions, a victim of all of those things. there are perhaps thousands of people with a history nearly identical to mine. but i dont care. i want them to hurt too.

art is supposed to make you feel something. its often said that art is a conversation between you and the artist. how do you feel when the artist wants to abuse you? how do you feel when the artist, knowing nothing of your own history, shows you the ugliest, most rancid, most infected parts of themselves, and they ask you to look?

look at me. look at what i am missing. look at how i am mangled. look at how i am ugly. i am not a palatable victim. i wasnt saved from abuse. the fbi never broke in while i was being photographed or molested and saved me from my fate. the worst happened. and it happened again, and again, and again and no one noticed, and no one saved me. i didnt even save myself. i didnt move away from it all, abandon everyone id ever known, and change my identity like i desperately wanted when i was a teenager. im broke, and i still live within a 1 mile radius of where all the worst things in my life happened to me. i live just 2 blocks away from where i was trafficked and used to make csam. i live just 2 houses down from where i was groomed and repeatedly raped by my best friends dad. im not there anymore, in the sense that years have passed, and i am an adult now. but i still live here, still see his house every day, still see the tree in front of the house where i was nearly drowned to keep me quiet and afraid.

yeah, i want the art i make to shock you. i dont think i have anything else to say.

[donnerpartyofone]

I'm in some kind of abusive cycle with the blog where people submit their dreams. I love hearing people's dreams, so I follow it thinking it's going to be interesting, and then I have to unfollow because it feels like 90% of the posts are about celebrities and fandom shit, then I forget about it for a while until a really cool/funny/scary/weird dream gets reblogged onto my dash, then I follow it again out of some kind of moronic optimism, and pretty soon I remember why I unfollowed it the last time. I'm not sure which possibility is the worst,

a) that for the most part people only submit dreams involving celebrities or fandoms because they assume no one cares about anything else,

b) most of the submissions are made up but nobody has the brain power to invent anything that doesn't involve celebrities or fandoms,

c) actually a large volume of young people's dreams really are about celebrities and fandoms, like a lot of tumblr users just don't even dream about anything else.

Now that I've typed it all out I'm pretty sure (c) is the worst of all possible worlds, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were really true for a lot of people just based on the sort of online behavior I see. There's a reason the "blorbo from my stories" post blew up (and I often wonder if that person regrets it), about how you can post the most random non-human image possible and you'll still have people in your notifications explaining how it somehow represents whatever their main fandom thing is; "fandom" doesn't describe an interest or even a community anymore, its more like this condition of extreme narrowing of perception and cognition down to like one subject, and somehow this is something you're proud of. Seeing people reblog the blorbo post not to co-sign what OP was saying, but to say "Yay this is totally me!!!" with no sense that they're being criticized was really disturbing. There's actually an even worse version of this where somebody broke down the most common (generally sexual) characterizations and scenarios in fan fiction specifically to show how much of this content just perpetuates really ugly stereotypes and bigoted attitudes, but the fandom people got it and reblogged it like "Yay this is totally me!!!" while OP was going...oh my god doesn't anyone understand what I said? There's this kind of scary, culty "FANDOM GOOD" thing that's like so pathological that it actually affects people's reading comprehension and makes them unable to even perceive criticism unless you push things to the extreme and bring nazis or pedophiles or something into it, you have to go so far as to tell someone they're a bad person to break through with them.

Anyway I know this isn't a scientific fact but I agree with the popular notion that dreams are a way of processing experiences and feelings that you're not done chewing on yet. For the most part your dreams should be made up of things, however filtered they are through symbolic language, that are somehow unresolved for you. You shouldn't be closing your eyes at night and just seeing a stream of the exact same pacifying stuff you choose to watch on TV. If that's happening more than once in a great while, you might have given yourself some form of brain damage, and I'm only being slightly sarcastic about that.

(Actually I think it's probably abnormal if you have a lot of wish fulfillment dreams in general; I used to have this friend who turned out to be completely toxic and nuts, and he was always happy to tell me these dreams he had where like he's a cross between Batman and Superman and he punishes everyone who was ever mean to him and then everyone worships him and he becomes the king of the universe or whatever. And I always thought oh my god, why isn't he embarrassed by this, if I had dreams like that about myself where I'm the best person ever and everyone else is either my victim or my slave, I don't think I would repeat it to anyone! But ANYWAY)

I've probably written this post before without even realizing it, which means I have my own problem where I need to disconnect from this thought process. Tumblr used to be a place where you could see weird, cool, interesting stuff that didn't really exist elsewhere, and it was reasonably easy to curate your experience; now the fandom thing is just at such a critical mass that it feels like you're always about one degree of separation from it no matter what you do. When capacity made that post the other day about how you can't even search for any media you're interested in on tumblr because all you get is the fan activity around the thing and not the thing itself (or god forbid your search involves a normal English word that happens to relate to a fandom, then you're really fucked)--when I first saw that post it had almost 8,000 notes and it was only 7 hours old. Whether you're someone who likes it or not, everyone knew what that was about, we are all experiencing it.

I would probably be slightly less bothered if I just let myself think that all the celebrity and fandom posts clogging up that dream blog are mainly just made up, due to whatever compulsion makes people make up inconsequential bullshit on the internet. I remember when FML was a thing, and at first it was kind of fun and kind of like this shared catharsis thing, but pretty quickly it became full of obviously fake stories that were so extreme they weren't even funny, like if someone said those things out loud in your presence you'd just feel sorry for them, that they want attention so bad they'll tell degrading lies about themselves to get it. Actually though the site started to degenerate into basically two kinds of content, which were not necessarily mutually exclusive, but it was always either people telling degrading lies about themselves for attention, or people telling elaborate stories about how they ate all kinds of poisonous garbage and then they shat themselves in public. And for one thing, I don't think it counts as a proper FML if you deliberately did something that was not a good idea and then immediately suffered the most predictable consequences, you know like eating hot cheetoes in gravy and washing it down with a liter of grape soda and then shitting your pants is kinda the same as "I knowingly stepped in front of a speeding car and it hit me and I was badly injured and now I'm in the hospital, fuck my life!", it's not really a surprising misfortune or irony, it's just something you did on purpose because you have no self-control even though only one outcome was possible. But I always had the feeling that the pants-shitters were American, and like obviously America has a problem with junk food, so I started to wonder if everywhere you go here you're just always near at least one person who is one more bad decision away from shitting their pants. Maybe it's true, I dunno, it's starting to seem likely. Maybe we should just change the name of the country to Pantshitsylvania and get it over with, it's probably what we deserve.

[thefoxtherapist]

*looks at your username then at aalto* yk.... I feel like I should have realized the fact foxes are your favorite animals lmao 😭

Anyways... Scar my beloved. As weird of a guy he is, probably the best emotional support you will get lmao💀

(Scar definitely gets cuteness aggression often. Like if you own a pet, yk the moment when you just wanna shake them and squish them but in like an affectionate way? Yeah, Scar would do that to you)

Mortefi not caring is king behavior. Now I thought of something silly. Reader could turn like into a whole monster and mortefi would just be chill with it like it's an everyday happening. (I believe mortefi has the worst sweet tooth btw, yes this one was random)

The Aalto one made me chuckle lmao. He's such a loser I love him. Ofc he thought reader is edgy, he has thinkin from experience. You cannot tell me Aalto didn't have some very extravagant phase while growing up. (Also I'm betting and ice cream he's scared of bugs)

Now to ramble on, just because this days I feel like talking too much 💀

Do you draw? Do you maybe have an art work you would like to share with the class about your oc?

Or maybe anything ya could tell about them?

I'm just a curious fellow who loves oc talk 😔

I would show mine if I wasn't a coward anon and also if it wouldn't be a bother lmao 💀

LISTEN I'M ONLY A LITTLE BIT PREDICTABLE OKAY!! (my other fav is Calcharo btw. I'm just. a dogboy guy, I guess. help)

RIGHT?! Scar is borderline fetishistic about it but he's really just like. genuinely hyped. He would loooooooooveeeeee his partner's scars, its probably his favourite thing on a partner. no matter how major or minor. Dude is THERE for it.

AND I AGREE? omg the cuteness aggression.

Scar couldn't help it, taking your cheeks in his clawed gloved hands. Mismatched eyes stared into yours before scrunching up slightly, grin wide and obvious.

"You're just soo cute~ Just.." He leaned forward, gently nipping the tip of your nose. "Edible! Biteable, even." The Overseer giggled in a tone you could not place except for possibly, crazed.

The way your nose scrunched up didn't stop him from squishing your cheeks with his hands, cooing at you when you did your best to puff them. Scar couldn't help but start grazing his sharp teeth all over your skin.

-

MORTEFI MY BELOVED HE'S SO FUNNY TO ME

Mortefi entered the room, rubbing his jaw as the familiar sensation of a lack of sweets affected him. It wasn't real, he knew that! But it didn't stop the feeling of strain in his mouth.

Your name fell from his lips, "do you know if we have any more chocolate bars?" But the doctor paused, surveying the less than human form in front of him. He blinked once, then sighed.

"That isn't very helpful in my search.." The man turned around, making a beeline for the kitchen. He would find his chocolate bars, and he would deal with what was clearly his lover in some monstrous form later.

-

Aalto is just Some Guy of all time to me. Like I know he's sneaky, and he's definitely got intimacy and commitment issues, and not to mention his upbringing was likely abusive given from what we know of his voicelines about his father. But he's just A DUDE. He has no reason to believe theres another reason so, yeah! You're just edgy. Until you aren't.

I really think Aalto in his teenager years had a private detective phase. Noir clothes and all. It's what led him to the path he's chosen<3 in my heart. Oh and his dad died and trying to find an identity was really hard for him.

Aalto's scream could be heard throughout the base you and your fellow Black Shores members had taken up in. You ran into the room, hitting the door as you slid in, weapon at the ready. But you lowered it when you saw the man.

Aalto was only in a towel, grey hair loose and fluffy around his face. But notably, he was standing on the closed toilet, fear visible on his face. You looked around, trying to find what he was screaming about. Your eyes landed on a spider beside the running shower head.

"I went in and it just appeared!! Babe, kill it!" You sighed, setting your weapon on the counter. You looked around, grabbing some toilet paper and rolling it up. You then leaned up from the bathroom floor, crushing the poor spider.

"I got it, wuss."

-

No I don't draw I've just written a bunch about him :broken_heart: but I'm on a waitlist for one of my favourite artists so mid August I should have art of him that I can share! To nobody's surprise, he is a foxboy.

As for information about him, his name is Esen! He's a Black Shores member, and an Aero Resonator. I really really loved the idea of there being animals with resonance abilities, and even before the current story I was toying with "what if there was second awakenings? why not right?" (looks into camera)

Anyways Esen is a vulpecula(made up in my brain), a vulpes adjacent creature. But he was taken from his home at a young age and ultimately experimented on for the purpose of testing on animals with resonance abilities. This caused a second awakening that forced him into a human form.

He doesn't have much memory of when he was a vulpecula, he just remembers the lab for the most part. I have like a fuck ton of lore written out, voicelines, forte report, ect.

but tldr: He's a funky funny lil hacker guy who upon escaping containment got caught up in a lot of shady shit as a "consultant" for criminals. He caught the eye of the Black Shores, they captured him for an interrogation. Then he stole all their data and tried to escape the island.

It did not succeed, but he was offered a job!

I LOVE LOVE ocs, I'm always happy to talk about mine, or yours, or anyones. So pleaaase tell me about yours I'm so curious!!

[northwestofinsanity]

A little thought, since I mentioned the DeviantArt thing on my Tumblr anniversary post a couple of days back (but not the point I want to eventually make a larger post on -I'm still figuring out how to articulate that).

So, on this day in 2017 (seven years ago), I was on my first day, post-throwing my first DeviantArt account into official hiatus on the night of February 6th as a last-ditch effort to break free from a character-based roleplay friendship/partnership that became toxic, controlling, and emotionally abusive. I woke up on this day in 2017 from the weirdest, symbolic dream. It was the most vivid scene of walking around my old high school building, in which the whole thing was empty, save for a few broken fixtures left behind. Symbolic of this empty space in my life after throwing this thing out. At some point, I ran out of the building, and there was something that happened to me, which, for the sake of those who might be triggered by it, I won't describe -but it was suggestive of getting rid of something unhealthy in my life. And then, despite the disturbing images in the dream, it ended with me looking to the sky, and between the grey clouds, the sun was still shining. Despite how screwed up everything was.

There are a lot of nuances to my particular experience that left a lot of grey area, and obviously, feelings don't disappear overnight, so there were a few weeks of grieving -the worst of which hit a few days on later. I don't remember much about this day in 2017, aside from that it was a bright, sunny day that just felt so weird in my state of shock.

With this past fall, finally reaching the point of peace where I can look back on this time and not blame myself in some way for it, and not feel any regrets about it... I've realized life has come full circle in a lot of ways to what I was dealing with then. In 2017, I was in my first year of college, watching my grandfather go down with heart failure from miles away from home (he lost his battle one week after I got home from the end of Spring semester). Here in 2024, I'm finally in my first year of veterinary school, back in the same town, I've got three family members in hospice, and I don't know if my grandmother's dementia battle is going to hit its end before or after I get home from this semester. I’m watching another online community I was once a big part of slowly melt down -perhaps one I became far closer to than the one I’d been in on DeviantArt. Maybe that hasn’t been with as much nasty, divisive drama -albeit there has been some nasty gossip at school the last couple of weeks that hasn’t been the easiest to hear. Not much in life has changed at all, really, for that many year's difference. It's not easy, still, but it is easier to deal with. Not because anything has changed, as I once thought based on how some people have described. It's just easier to accept and put into perspective, and maybe not necessarily stop caring entirely, as the cynical viewpoint would say, but better knowing how to limit how much I do care when it's not worth the stress -or just something that’s out of my control.

And as I was walking outside in the waiting period between lecture and lab earlier this afternoon, I noticed it was one of those bright, clear days -just like that really odd day in 2017. And it reminded me of the one coherent thought I could tell myself back then.

“I'm still here, and the sun is still shining.”

And I still am here, and the sun is still shining, and while it seemed like the bare minimum first step at the time, I don’t think there was ever anything as beautiful as the sun in the sky today, finally reaching the other end of the journey.

[phantastragoria]

Not sure if it's okay to send you this ask but I actually feel the same way you do about the end of vol 3 and I've been feeling pretty alone about it. I haven't said much because I don't want to seem like I'm being mean about the movie. I think my issue is the team hasn't spent years and years together. Most of them were snapped for 5 years. When they came back Gamora was dead and then Peter was clearly left suffering and dealing with the trauma for a while. I can live with the idea of "we've all grown to need time apart and want to do our own things" but I don't think the build up and execution was there. Not just for those on the team but also 2014 Gamora who was literally just coming back to the story and finally getting to see who these people were and what her life was once about. Then it's over and it doesn't feel like enough of a resolution. I also don't love how Gamora was treated which is a whole other topic but I disliked how it seems like there hasn't been any issue with her death for anyone but Peter. There doesn't even seem to be any memories of her lingering with the team. I have so many thoughts around this that I'll be thinking about it for a while but man, she was murdered by her abuser and most of her family are victims of abuse and I dont think the aftermath has been handled very well at all. Mostly I think there needed to be another movie In between Endgame and vol 3 to hash out what happened in Infinity War/Endgame and to progress some of the characters more and build up to the more Rocket focused ending where they all part ways. Or vol 3 needed to not be quite as focused on Rocket. Not saying he shouldn't have the most focus, just scale it back a little because other things desperately needed attention.

Oh it's absolutely fine to send an ask about this!!! I'm always up for a discussion, and honestly, it makes me feel better that I'm not the only person not completely happy with the ending, solidarity my friend.

I want to preface this all with I DON'T hate the film, and I thought it was way better on a 2nd viewing, but I really don't think it's a crime to criticize it because nothing is perfect (Vol. 1 + 2 aren't either) But Vol. 3 really has some deeply ingrained issues that should've been dealt with, or at the very least acknowledged, because as it is they really stand out, especially on a second viewing or if you've marathoned all the films together, and they literally drag the film down.

Gunn said on Twitter in response to something that he wanted Vol. 3 to be able to stand on its own without the viewer needing to have seen the other films (and by extension IW+EG) but that is so unhinged when it's literally titled as the third in the series at this point lol. Like it's extremely weird to have let IW+EG affect the Guardians as much as they did and then not even try and deal with the aftermath of it all in the last film featuring (almost) everyone together... ???

He's made it clear Rocket is his favorite and that he only came back to do Vol. 3 because he wanted to finish his story, I don't doubt that's true even if I think having a single character be more important than the others is the wrong choice and leaves the whole story as a trilogy a bit lopsided. But even so, if that's the case then it's crazy to not even have Rocket's thoughts on all of these things that've happened in the last decade as if it wouldn't be traumatic to lose your loved ones for years, and how hard it would be to readjust to life after it all. I kind of can't see him letting everyone leave so easily at the very end, especially after he almost died, so I'm just left feeling confused at the choice at best and vaguely unsatisfied at worst.

Maybe Gunn didn't have as much control over their appearances in IW+EG as he says he did. Maybe they really did completely derail the road to Vol. 3 and he just won't admit it, but the film as it is doesn't help in any way by pretending nothing there happened at all. I don't see any logical reason for the audience to just go along with "For some reason Gamora left, she might've died but also maybe not, who knows. Peter is sad and the rest of the team want to move onto something else. " and then the only hint at that last part is... Mantis telling Peter to go see his grandpa, so that leads to everyone else having a change in goals too, huh. I know it's not meant to be forever, and we're to assume everyone keeps in contact with each other, but the ending really makes it feel like no, we'll never all be together again, so bah.

And concerning Gamora, I agree with what you've said. I could write an entire book with my issues of her overall treatment in the narrative and the implications of her character from the comics getting adapted like this, but I'll spare you the speech and just say the TLDR is everything starting from IW onwards concerning her (the specific framing around her murder and then time travel bringing in 2014-Gamora, and the complete lack of acknowledgement about either version of her from the rest of the team) never should've happened. It's all such a mind-boggling choice, I can't get over how much of an afterthought Gunn made her at the very last minute.

It's funny you mention the need for another film to deal with the emotional fallout of everything post-Vol. 2, because absolutely, but they kind of had the chance??? I realize the Holiday Special isn't film length and is meant to be the calm before the storm of everything that's to come, but in a post-Vol. 3 world I can't stop thinking about how it was SUCH a missed opportunity to not have that be the sobering moment for the characters to talk about everything that happened in the years everyone was snapped. It could've even been the perfect time to plant the metaphorical plot seeds of everyone wanting to go and do their own things after what happened because they just can't make life feel the exact same as it was before, and understanding things can never be the same after something like that.

Even the last lines of the song used in the Holiday Special feels more appropriate for the Guardians as a family struggling to keep it all together (and trying to deal with the sudden loss of Gamora) than it relates to Peter and Yondu, in my opinion.

I would have preferred a more out-there story in general, something to give everyone equal stakes in the plot, but I do think Vol. 3 could have stayed overall the same if any of this was addressed or even mentioned in one or two lines of dialogue somewhere. Because as it is, it really feels like we missed something important between it all, but we didn't from what we we've been shown. I don't think it would have killed Gunn to include a quick moment where someone just says to Peter "I miss her too and I get everything's been way harder lately, but you can't let it grind your life to a complete halt like this." or something!! ANYTHING!!!

And if we absolutely had to stick with the time displaced Gamora plot... When she was snooping around on the Bowie by herself i dont get why she didn't get to see some old photos or something of the team during happier times (including 2018-Gamora specifically) and realizing that they really are going so far to save Rocket because they genuinely love him, and once upon a time they loved her too. 2014-Gamora getting to see the life she very nearly COULD have had within mere hours in her own timeline (without the threat of Thanos ever taking that away, mind you) but having to come to terms with the life she's made with the Ravagers in the present day. That would've been a more appropriate arc for her, I think, then her presence in the story wouldn't have had to only center around what Peter lost and nothing else and we'd at least get the idea that the others still had her on their minds even if they outwardly "moved on."

But also? Another missed opportunity to not have a moment when 2014-Gamora is in a battle with the other Ravager leaders mirroring the hallway scene with the Guardians that could have been when Peter (and the audience) "get" who she's currently more comfortable with in a basic sense, but... you know... it is what it is or whatever.

[kutputli]

One thing I wished the show would talk about is racism in English Football, esp given how the Richmond team is comprised of mostly Black and Brown players. In real life, 43% of the players in the English Premier League are Black, and despite representing England, Black players are subjected to racist abuse should they fall short of spectacular. The fact that the white footballers are given more screentime and depth in the show is frustrating as fuck. But thats the product of a white writing room I suppose.

Mmm HMM.

I reblogged a Subjectify Media post yesterday that talked about this, and how it would be weird if the show had the crowds heckling Colin for being gay in a way the Black and Brown players and coach never were. It was a post I was deeply upset by because the two fans writing it were being so racist themselves, in a typical queer white fangirl way, while decrying the more obvious racism of football fans. Their take was that it was better that the show not get into spectator heckling at all, for anyone.

Which in and of itself is a valid way to tell a story. I think of my favourite sports anime Yuri on Ice, and how it just gracefully sidestepped into an AU where gay ice skaters are just normal and unremarkable and there is no homophobia at all.

It would be a logistically easier storytelling choice to limit the portrayal of bigotry to interpersonal interactions within the professional settings of the club. But here's why I know that the show won't.

Because they did already include crowd heckling. Only, the target was (presumed) straight, white man Ted Lasso. Ted is the only one we see getting yelled at by the crowd. And even though its the extremely tame insult of 'wanker', which gets cutely diffused into a term of affection, we see Ted reacting to being yelled at by the crowd with the beginnings of a panic attack.

So Ted Lasso faces the gauntlet of a hostile crowd, and pulls through it and wins them over through charm and shape-based jokes, and not once does he ever think that anyone around him might be facing hostility as bad or worse.

When I say the show gaslights fans of colour, its not just because we seem delusional for assuming that racist things are happening to characters of colour that the show never shows. The show gaslights us because none of the characters act like those things happen. Nate never says, 'yeah, the first time I was called a Paki I was...", Sam never says, "I never really thought of myself as Black until I moved to England and they were throwing bananas at me". And none of the kind, supportive people around Ted - Keeley, Roy, Rebecca, Leslie, Beard - tell him to put his heckling into perspective by empathising with what the people of colour around him must be going through.

The AU world that Ted Lasso lives in is where the the worst football heckling happens to a white man.

[nutterzebutters]

Can we please talk about autistic grief,,

This is more so directed at when you've gone your whole life undiagnosed or something along those lines feeling internally isolated from the world and its inhabitants.. that something is inherently different, or even wrong with you.

And then come to find out when you understand autism is more than caterpillar toys that spell out words, tablets and puzzle pieces, that you learn your experience has a genuine name with so many other experiences just like yours and oh my god suddenly this all makes sense..

So you do research. Tons, and tons, and TONS of research, and you do nothing but relate but God forbid you tell anyone because "I don't see it." "You don't act like 'them'" "but you're so smart and pretty!"

Because it's a spectrum. Because it's not Asperger's, a Nazi term or next step in evolution, because you've always felt out of place and despite sharing interests there is still this invisible wall trying to push you away from the vast majority of your peers, your family, your sense of social security and self image. You start to think you're weird, and no matter how many times you encounter the opportunity to make this friend, this acquaintance or mutual- while you think "maybe this time it'll be different, maybe this time I can keep this relationship, whatever it may be,", you fail.

They look at you, they sense something's wrong, something's ... not quite right. Why do you give me that face? I answered at the right time, I said the right things, I did the correct actions and interactions, why do you ostracize me? I do not understand what I am doing wrong, I don't understand what's happening and why you tell others I'm weird, make kiddy rumors that because of that weirdness I must not be right in the head, that I'm wrong and contorted in my mind, that I'll be a different person when I grow up, one for you and those who are like you to look down upon.

It hurts. Peace is nowhere in sight and now the need to interact has been hidden away in a box.

Is this schizoid? EDD? Maybe? It's not just "shutting off my emotions," no it is deeper, more primal than that. Something else. But now I understand that yeah, it's autism and maybe now that I know, I can work with this and figure myself out. But no one really knows how to deal with us, I suppose. People will be angry, mean, yell obscenities and have blatant disrespect towards me for one of my actions until I say "hey! I'm autistic and unless you tell me calmly we're not getting anywhere with this!"

Sudden kindness and understanding, how I loathe it, shouldn't that have been there in the first place? Instead of yelling, making rumors, throwing insults and jokes that are meant to drive humiliation and lower self image. Now they switch. "autistic=baby voice" "autistic=lower intelligence" and yet... They're surprised that I AM smart, when I AM more successful than them, that I'm capable of kindness and just want to help.

And that isn't even close to scraping the end of the barrel.

I've been ridiculed by both family and peers, ostracized from family and people who I unfortunately mistake friendly as friends, I've been dragged through hell and back because my personal experience, abuse occurred. Instead of understanding I was usually met by passive aggressive lectures, demeaning comments about health and IQ, I've even been left in the cold with thin clothes not built for it. My offense? Apparently I had a texture issue with some ricotta cheese my mom knew I was also allergic too. All but one of the many things I've gone through on a daily for now more than 18 years yeah, my situation isn't the worst case scenario, and it's not even close to some of the obscenities human kind are capable of.

But it is one thing:

Bad. For better or for worse,, bad. And that is an understatement, to treat any human with insensitivity and beliefs that you can hurt their emotions without consequences is vile.

And what happens when you're sabotaged of a normal skill set because wow,, no matter how hard you tried you didn't understand what was wrong with you, so you couldn't fix it. It's a gut wrenching feeling, to say the least.