#(it's like a variety of seasonal veggies and shit)

[sainte666]

Ok had an incredibly baffling experience today where I think someone/some org randomly gave our household food? Like vegetables/fruits and some pantry items??

I opened my door to get my delivery dinner (which was honestly. not very good at all 😭) and had a totally label-less nondescript white plastic bag sitting on top of an also mostly label-less sealed cardboard box of fruits and veggies... but like, who did this??? I didn't order anything lol and also one of my neighbors got the same thing... hello??!

[transactinides]

i'm super bad at cooking and never know where to start because every recipe out there asks for ingredients i simply don't have at home so do you perhaps know what basic ones would be good to stock up on? like eggs and stuff...especially when it comes to spices i have no idea what is okay to use

Haii o/ very honored that you sent me an ask, and ofc I’ll do my best to help! This reply got a bit out of hand so. Long text under the cut. Behold. Feel free to reach out in asks or dms or whatever with any future questions (@ everyone tbh).

Food is, of course, very subjective, so my idea of a perfect list of foods to keep a stock of will not be universal, but I hope this will, at least, give you some ideas if anything. 

First of all, I usually mentally break down my typical weekday recipe into vaguely carbs source - protein source - veggies, buy a couple of options for each category and just switch them around for variety. My standard set is

rice / pasta (usually spaghetti re:shapes) / glass noodles

eggs / chicken / tofu / bacon

random pack of frozen vegetables, bell peppers, eggplants, tomatoes, cucumbers, leafy greens. garlic and onions too

I have an option of making egg fried rice with chopped up bacon and added frozen vegetables one day, then blending the leftover vegetables with bell peppers and tomatoes to use as pasta sauce with chicken and spaghetti the next day, then branching out and making eggplant tofu stir fry with glass noodles, then using whatever eggplant tofu stir fry i had left as rice balls filling and making myself a quick vegetable salad on the side… And all those things are easy to make and don’t need much fussing around. 

Other options to consider would be potatoes (you can roast them with whatever, boil, fry, etc), buckwheat (my wife doesn’t like it otherwise I’d use it more often), kidney beans and chickpeas for your carbs*; fish and meat for your proteins (those are. a bit too expensive for me usually); carrots, cabbage, leeks etc. 

The list looks long, but, again, you just need to pick out a couple of things from each group and throw shit in a pan so to speak. And a lot of them are easily soup-able (boiling water chicken potatoes carrots rice? boom soup. etc), which is another easy base recipe to exploit.

Now to the matter of spices. Salt and pepper are obvious enough, but a good thing to look for are, especially if you are just getting into cooking, spice blends. Something something French Herbs™ something something Taco Seasoning™ something something Seven Spice™ something something Garam Masala™. There’s a lot of different ones, but they are, essentially, a formed flavor profile in themselves, so you don’t need to worry about mixing spices and herbs that might not go well together, and by paying attention to contents you can learn for yourself what individual seasonings are commonly used together.

Also, everyone, hold your judgement real quick and trust me with this, but ooh I always save leftover flavor packets from instant ramen and reuse them in other dishes. Egg fried rice just doesn’t taste right without suspicious red powder courtesy of shin ramen… It’s probably MSG my beloved or something…

While I’m at it, bouillon cubes are handy to have, you can use them for soups, crumble them up in other recipes. Adding one to the water you’re cooking rice in is a great hack at making it more flavourful.

In general, while I do actually have way too much spices (and keep buying more… very excited about my newly acquired dried tarragon…), the ones I’d advise to have for an average person would be:

Salt (ideally both coarse grain and fine grain, but fine grain only serves you just right)

black pepper (both in a mill/grinder and peppercorns), red pepper flakes

paprika, garlic powder, ginger powder

bay leaves, dried oregano, basil, thyme, dill, cinnamon, coriander, cardamon, cumin, turmeric, sumak....

I really got a bit carried away by the end, but. You don't actually need to buy all of them and at the same time, just start with whatever couple of things you'd need for whatever you are cooking and let your collection build up over time, since spices aren't something you need to buy often anyway 👍

Other things I think it’s nice to have in stock in your kitchen would be flour and baking powder, vinegar (distilled vinegar, rice vinegar… I like to have balsamic vinegar too but it’s so expensive it’s ridiculous ngl), soy sauce, cooking oil of your choice (I use sunflower oil, olive oil and sesame oil), panko or breadcrumbs, starch (i have potato starch, cornstarch and tapioka starch, I would suggest just getting cornstarch at first).

* going to clarify here that while beans are often brought up as a source of protein, most are rich in complex carbs, excluding edamame and green beans for example. And since I mostly often cook beans with meat, they check out my daily carbs in my head.

[grief-worn]

@chaoticbard sent: Alaara brought Shadowheart a plate of freshly cooked fish with a variety of fruits and veggies on the side. "I wasn't sure what you wanted to eat, so I got a little bit of everything before the rest of us ate it all." She plunked herself down on the ground. "If there's something you don't want, I or one of the others will eat it. We're getting low on rations. We'll have to forage soon, and hope we can find someone selling goods."

Shadowheart was a fully-grown half-elf woman. Matured in ways beyond adolescence, and carrying all the traditional hallmarks of seasoned adulthood. The gentlest of wrinkles upon her face, the cynicism against hopeful ideals, and the stubborn crick in her neck whenever she slept at weird angles. She wasn’t a kid anymore, that much was certain.

… that didn’t really stop her from acting like one. Especially on nights like tonight.

She had elected to skip dinner. Her mood, as fickle as it was, landed on the coin flip of utterly foul. Naturally, this led to more than a few venomous arguments amongst the group, with her at the apex of them all. Shadowheart stirred shit like witch at her cauldron, the tension bubbling with heat and fit to burst. Everyone had expressed their disapproval of her character. She, of course, gave no one an apology, and stormed off to isolate herself within her own space.

Buried deep down, though, she harbored a fair bit of guilt. Why had she acted so impossibly difficult? No one really deserved the sort of treatment she doled out, and it wasn’t hard for her to realize that. Confronting it was a separate matter entirely, as she lacked any worthwhile justification for such behavior, and omitting a meal was the closest she'd come to repentance.

Her stomach had plenty to complain about. It yowled rebelliously, but she was determined. Or maybe stubborn was the better word. There was no decorum here to fancify her refusal to budge. Just hard-headed bullishness.

She’d fall back on her oldest routine. A form of coping mechanism training that helped to fortify willpower and ward off the pitfalls in her own head. Shadowheart would meditate.

Posed at the mouth of her tent, she pushed away all the senses of her own being. Pushed away the chattering of her companions by the fire, pushed away the delectable scent of freshly charred food, and especially pushed away the sweltering heat of her own gnawing contrition.

They were not her friends. She’d not spare an ounce of sympathy for snapping at them so impatiently. It was their own fault for bothering her, anyways. Yes. That mended the bitter feelings; assigning blame onto others. It’s not as if any of them honestly cared for her. They’d be better off without her, and she’d be better off without them. The only reason she tolerated them at all was their unfortunate circumstance. Soon, this would all be over, and she wouldn’t need to put up with such tiresome, tedious, entirely despicable, awful, intolerable —

“What?” she practically snarled, eyes snapping wide, met with the offering of a full plate of food. Brimming. A variety of sumptuous choices. Fish, fruit, a bit of green, even a pile of cubed potatoes. Very considerate, very earnest.

The only one capable of such a thing would be …

“Alaara.” Shadowheart locked her stare on the bard, uttering their name with contempt wholly undeserved. “Can’t you see I’m quite busy?” Busy sulking, busy looking sad and lonely, busy feeling her stomach eat itself from the inside out.

“I’m not hungry. My portion would better serve its use feeding someone else.” A bold-faced lie, but delivered quite flawlessly. Her little ruse would've found success, had she not ruined it with the next string of words.

“Besides, I don’t really deserve my share of rations. Not after everything I’ve said today.” She could feel her shoulders tense, entirely out of her control. “Just … give my plate to the owlbear, or something. Might keep him from devouring us in our sleep.”

[without-it]

ok i lied i love to update u guys. heres updates and general tips and goals for the next fast ❤️

said id wait till thursday but at my core im a little silly guy who loves to lie and tell untruths!! so heres the fasting tea abt wrapping up that last 90 hour fast and starting this one

first off, the refeeding and weight gain update from the two days of eating "normally" : weight update this morning, from my last weigh in on monday, i gained about 1/3 of a pound (i lost just over 10 pounds so really good return) so really happy with that honestly. refeeding is such a huge and often overlooked aspect to fasting, and if its handled wrong it can often negate all ur hard work.

when i refeed i focus on PLAIN low calorie foods. if you end a fast with curry to be perfectly honest ur gonna shit urself to death and have a fucking miserable time lmao. my go to is a PLAIN UNSEASONED steamed veggie dish (usually steamed broc and corn, broc bc low calorie and corn bc i am a corn GIRLIE), and often with miso soup to go with it. unseasoned foods help with the upset tummy after ending a fast, and get ur body used to actually processing glucose again. and miso soup is just a nice low calorie simple food to add some fun into that meal. pls dear god do not eat sweet foods / high salt / high seasoned in general / or heavy meat or sauced dishes as a fast breaking meal. if youve fasted for more than a 4 days im not joking you can literally end up dying from that so just be responsible shawtie damn. (look up refeeding syndrome im not a doctor so im not gonna give u the lowdown)

things to focus on during the fast to help prevent rapid weight gain: drink ur god damn liquids. i dont care if ur getting water in thru diet soda or tea or fizzy water or even coffee. that is water, that is a pro and do not listen to ppl who say that water "doesnt count". when you restrict liquids during a fast you will obvi lose more weight in the short term, but during refeeding if u start drinking normally again (as i really hope u are lmao) you will gain this water weight rapidly. u turned ur body into a desert for a few days, and best believe the second u have more liquid ur body is gonna hang on to that for dear life. its better for u and less stressful in the long run to just keep up ur liquid intake during fasts trust me.

and then this is my go to routine for every fast:

every day i take these suppliments: high strength collagen, iron, zinc, a womens multivit, and the unsung hero of fasting? FIBER TABLETS. bro i can fast for over a week and still not be constipated bc im on my SIGMA FIBER GRINDSET

and then my daily intake: at least a liter of water every day with the "Endura brand low carb sugar free electrolyte drink" (in lemon lime flavor) (i put 2 scoops aka 2 serves per liter of water) the taste is super mid but honestly drinking that every day on my last fast made things such a breeze. literally like no headaches, no cramps, minimal dizziness, and my sleep was mostly uneffected.

then i also have either a can or two of coke zero. yes i know it has 1.1 calories and diet coke would be technically more appropriate for a fast, but i hate diet coke and u will not catch my ass drinking it

and then a cup or two of green tea with a 0 calorie sweetener. no recommendations on the sugar bc honestly i swap between brands depending on whats avail at my grocery store that week lmao.

all this liquid and high variety keeps me kinda full, and provides fun taste enrichment so i dont literally go monkey insane drinking plain water for a week. cool if u can do that but ur literally a psycho and not to be trusted frankly

so current goal is at least lunch time saturday. i have plans to do lunch w my friend but honestly if im not rly hungry then and i wanna keep the fast going im just gonna cancel that lunch or even push it to dinner to just get a few more hours in!

as usual, expect weight updates every morning. the starting situation is: 87kg exactly ( 191.8 pounds) , 20% of my weight loss goal achieved. see yall tmro for the update!

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

after i was diagnosed with diverticulitis i slowly started to change my diet. now, eating primarily whole foods isn’t always exciting but boy do you feel the difference and i lost 20 pounds in two months 🤦🏻‍♀️

Holy moly admin, I’m sorry 😥 I had to read up on that, it sounds painful. I’m glad you were able to turn your diet around and found a way to stick to it, getting older and the harsh effects that come with it is no joke. The way my metabolism changed between my 20s and 30s is such a kick in my ass. If I don’t do something active every day and even think about a chocolate shake or chicken strips and fries my ass automatically jiggles for like 2 weeks 😭

What are some main staples in your whole food diet? Like do you avoid carbs altogether or just certain ones at certain times? I find that if I don’t eat carbs (flour products, bread, potatoes, rice, pasta and corn), added sugars, processed food, dairy, grains, legumes, alcohol or oils (cooking and all fat oils and butter) 3 consecutive days each week, my cravings for the bad stuff becomes less, my inflammation goes away and I can drop at least 2 pounds a week and that’s without any working out, plus I quit caffeine period. *I’m not a nutritionist or diet expert* It is easy to maintain and each week gets easier if you stick to it, but obviously I’m human so this is not something I do all the time for weeks at a time. I’m a foodie at heart and if I want loaded nachos with a steak and bang bang shrimp on the side, I’m a do it 🤣 especially around that time of the month….but that’s when I’ll up the weight and reps in my workouts too.

you're right, i swear i turned 25 and all of a sudden shit got real 😂 i know exactly what you mean though.. nowadays i have been trying to do at least 10k steps every day (walking or jogging) and weight lift 3/week. 2022-2023 was challenging health wise for a variety of reasons and i felt like a big change was needed. ended up having surgery for my endometriosis/an ovarian mass and promptly put on a medication that basically was like a taste of menopause.. hot flashes, joint pain, insomnia, nauseous all the time.. i'm just now coming off of it and i tell you that shit made it so hard to lose weight lmao i'm hoping things will be stable off of it.

everything you said makes perfect sense to me! the longer i go without eating ultra-processed/hyperpalatable foods in general, the easier it gets and the less i crave them. this year i actually ended up buying and participating in a medical weight loss plan because i NEEDED for someone to.. basically just tell me what to eat. i wasn't technically overweight - i know how to eat low calorie and i know how to lose weight if i need to, but not in a healthy way at all. that really was what changed for me, taking their little nutritional class and receiving a meal plan with tons of details about the different groups and how much to eat each day. i realized i was eating so much MORE food - my meal plan was more than i could even manage most days, and yet i lost weight, like now i look like a different person.. it's crazy. i realize i'm sensitive to sodium and i was really inflamed, even in my face, looking back it was so pronounced. on my meal plan, i couldn't add any salt to my food, only salt free seasonings. so that was a big thing lol to answer your question about staples, it's a little tricky.. i haven't banned carbs at all, but i have reduced them a bit. for instance, i'll still have rice, but i will do 1/4 of a cup or 1/2 cup and load up on veggies. nowadays i just eat the live carb smart bread and buns. potatoes are my FAVORITE, so i just try and eat a bit less of them, corn as well. the tricky part about trying to eat as many whole food meals as possible, is that i don't want to cook a meal every single night. i'm big on meal prepping, but i don't really like to eat microwaved food. i feel like it makes food taste weird, ESPECIALLY chicken, which happens to be my general protein of choice. so i've been eating a lot of beef, eggs and cottage cheese for protein. i love vegetables so there's countless options to add in my rotation. i'm very much still learning what works for me, and like you, i'm a foodie who loves to eat. i'm never going to be someone made miserable trying to stick to a very strict diet. i want to enjoy those delicious nachos every once in a while too LMFAO

[unhingedkinfessions]

Day #1 of sending daily kinfessions to @unhingedkinfessions as if they were my diary until they get tired of me

Date: Tuesday, February 6th, 2024

Theme of today's kinfession: Am i Matt Murdock?

Dear diary @unhingedkinfessions

I've been thinking that i might be Matt Murdock, having strong kin feels and some stuff that might be memories, i've also been watching Daredevil (of course), but honestly I still don't understand how the process of kinsidering has to be? I usually just go ahead and go crazy and just kinfirm straight ahead the characters i slightly feel like they fit, sometimes I'll do some pendulum questions but, do i have to do something else? I honestly don't know, i want to be serious with this one kin, i don't know why. I've also been thinking of re-kinsidering all of my fictotypes, doing some more thinking and doing it "properly". I've had past kins that were strong, some of them have changed over time, some i found other words to describe them, i also want to make a lot of soul searching (i don't even know how that's done but whatever, i'll find out). Anyways, that's all for today i think, have a nice day mods and wish me luck because my kinlist is lowkey long.

Sincerely: daily anon

Questions of the day for the mods (so they don't get tired of me for now)

Do you guys like mac&cheese? How much cheese could you add to the mac&cheese?

How much ranch is the correct ranch for a veggie salad?

hi daily anon. love the energy from this ask. idk kinsidering is extremely personal sometimes u just Know and sometimes it just has to cook in the oven for a while yk? it happens. also i love mac&cheese. havent made it in a while but honestly i love putting Way too much cheese on stuff so. A Lot. also i hate vegetables i wouldnt know abt salads -mod joker

hey daily anon. youve already failed cause this is a few days old at this point with no follow up. i make mac basically daily at this point theres more cheese in my body than blood. the correct question is how much cheese *can* you possibly fit in there. a fucking looney tunes amount. a downright roger rabbit amount. just keep it consistent and season well. none of that kraft shit. also veggie salad is something i havent had but probably the amount youd put on a normal salad yeah -mod dave

hi daily anon :) i love maccy chease. usually i just have like prepackaged or box made kind unless i'm getting it from somewhere but on the occasion i make it myself, ideally it's as much cheese as possible. and as many kinds. also baked maccy cheese is the best. put breadcrumbs and bacon and even more cheese on that bitch and pop it in the oven? soo good. also i dont eat ranch or any kind of salad dressing so none. -mod bender

this ask rules ok? and yea i get wanting to like . reconsider. i did that sorta recently, it takes a little thinking and reflecting but in the end it did feel nice to have a list of like, yeah, i Know that’s me and i didn’t force the vibes or say it halfheartedly etc this time. also you want so much cheese but you have to pick well . can’t 100% mozzarella it or something, you need a blend for good flavor and meltability. also i dont like ranch so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ —mod pikmin

hi anon, this ask is so cool. the others already covered it but i personally think that there’s no “proper” way to kin and it varies person to person :3 just do whatever feels right to you! sometimes you just know right away you kin and other times it takes the stars aligning in one really specific way to unlock the kin. as for the questions: i’m unfortunately a super picky eater so there’s not a lot of variety in foods i can handle </3 i don’t like salads generally and unless the mac is made in one really specific way chances are i won’t like it. - mod akechi

hey anon you left your grilled cheese on the stove it's burnt to hell and back please for the love of god come back and get it. anyways that's so real and it can definitely feel weird "losing connection" to certain kins or even realizing some weren't really true kin but it's ok. keep on cheesin. - mod navi

[smute]

[SORRY to the anon who wanted the soup resippy i tried saving your ask as a draft to type all this out but then it disappeared 😬😬😬]

ok so this is essentially a variation of my grandma’s [1] linsensuppe, so im gonna give u both resippies. my version isnt technically mine, i stole the inspiration for it from the fancy restaurant deli place i worked at many moons ago, but i never saw an actual recipe, i just got one free meal per shift and had this soup very often and eventually tried to recreate it from memory months after i was fired for being too cute and handsome and sexy. its also the first time im writing this down, so dont expect any exact measurements please. measure with your heart <333

ingredience:

an assortment of (root) vegetables [2] such as:

onions

carrots

celery [3]

leek

potatoes

also:

large brown lentils

bacon

sausages [4]

and of course:

some herbs [5]

salt and pepper

white wine vinegar (for grandma's version); yes lemon juice works too

chili peppers (for mine)

and/or cayenne pepper (for mine)

white vermouth (for mine)

heavy cream (for mine)

prepping the stock:

wash and peel and dice your veggies somewhat finely (like bite-sized pieces, not super fine)

render the bacon (fry on low heat until the fat is extracted) save the bacon bits to add back later if u want

brown the veggies in bacon fat. i start with the onions and then go by hardness. for example, i would add the carrots before the celeriac, which tends to soften pretty quickly [6]

once all the veggies have softened and turned a nice color, simply add water and your leafy herbs and simmer on low heat for as long as you want or can lol. an hour should be enough but the longer the better. DO NOT ADD ANY SALT.

congratulations, you have made unsalted vegetable stock.

for both lentil soup varieties:

rinse the lentils and add them to the unsalted stock [7]

once the lentils have softened, start seasoning

add the diced potatoes and cook those until soft

variety numero uno aka grandma’s lentil soup:

the traditional (german?) lentil soup is seasoned with a splash of vinegar so go ahead and add that (careful though, its just meant to add some tang, not ruin the fucking soup lmao)

add sausage bits and bam. ultimate comfort food. well, penultimate.

variety numero due aka smute’s stolen resippy:

when prepping the stock, add fresh chili peppers according to your own spice tolerance.

also, DEGLAZE THE POT WITH A SPLASH OF WHITE VERMOUTH [8] before u add the water and let it cook down (it will be pretty pungent and smell very citrusy and spicy and vanilla-y and boozy initially but it mellows out quite quickly so just trust your nose. THEN you can add the water and do all the other shit i just told you ok thank you

season with a shit ton of cayenne pepper – either in addition to or instead of the chili peppers, and according to your own spice tolerance. i wouldnt use any spice mixes though. this is just to add heat, not any overpowering flavors

do not touch that fucking vinegar. turn off the heat and add half a cup of heavy cream instead. your soup should turn from toddler poop into a delicious thick beige-y white clam chowder slop. maybe with an orangy cayenne pepper tint if youre not a pussy (/handjob)

add sausage slices to warm them up and dig in

🦶footnotes:

[1] idiomatic; my grandma wasnt very big on cooking lol

[2] commonly referred to as “suppengrün” in german, a flavor base similar to a french mirepoix or an italian soffritto. the specific ingredients vary by region but usually suppengrün includes carrots, celeriac (see below), parsley root, rutabaga or some other turnip variety, curly parsley, et cetera et cetera

[3] celeriac aka celery root aka knob celery; yes, you can use celery stalks instead but they do taste different imo. celery stalks are also a lot saltier so idk how that would affect the lentils. dont skip the celery though because it gives you that essential soup flavor

[4] frankfurters? the smoked pork link sausages kind. i know food terminology is somewhat tricky once you cross the atlantic (im just assuming an american will read this lmao) and ive heard that you guys have hot dogs without the casing on like. crustless sandwiches? which. i cant even imagine what that is like but anyway. not the canned vienna sausages please. for my grandma

[5] you cant go wrong with curly parsley, i mean its so mild and inoffensive parsley goes with pretty much anything and it adds some nice color as well. yes you can use flat leaf instead lmao. basickly i would recommend anything you'll find in a fines herbes mix aka parsley, chives, chervil, and tarragon. that combo is a staple of french cuisine but they're widely used here as well so if you're going for the classic flavor, any of these will do the trick.

[6] if you don’t eat pork or want a vegetarian version, or if you’re just making stock, you can totally skip the bacon and use oil instead

[7] i’ve always been told that lentils have to be cooked in unsalted liquid. idk the science behind it and if we’re being honest, it’s probably some bullshit myth BUT! one time i did cook them with salt and they came out weird and hard and disgusting and it could of course be related to something totally different but what can i say. belief integrated. dont add salt until they’re soft. something that IS NOT a myth is the lentil variety. for this resippy you need LARGE BROWN lentils (tellerlinsen for all germans). the whole point of this soup is its creamy sloppy deliciousness and the soft mealy mushy consistency you get from large brown lentils adds a lot to that. small brown varieties (berglinsen for all germans) tend to keep their shape more and refuse to be slopified. ive never used red or yellow lentils or whatever for this soup so try at your own risk.

[8] vermouth is just fortified (distilled) wine thats been flavored with all kinds of shit (herbs and spices). i have a small bottle of martini bianco in my pantry that i only use for special dishes and while it is disgusting as a drink, it adds SO MUCH complexity to all kinds of foods it really is worth it. anyway. im gonna go out on a limb and say that you can also use a sweet white wine. maybe use a more generous amount and cook it down a bit? and maybe add a PINCH of sugar

[xythlia]

Pls may we have the soup recipe 🛐

lol yes!

ingredients

6 red bell peppers

6 tomatoes

1 white onion

5 cloves garlic

Olive oil

msg, pepper, basil, red pepper flakes, rosemary (about 1 teaspoon each, the rosemary u should be VERY light handed with use less than a teaspoon, it's a pungent herb and can easily ruin dishes if u use too much)

8 cups stock

1 and a half bags cheese tortellini

Heavy cream for drizzle

Instructions

Rough chop your veggies and spread them all out on a baking pan, drizzle with oil, sprinkle your seasonings and mix with your hands until everything is nice and coated but make sure to spread it all out in an even layer when you're finished mixing

Roast at 400 degrees until they're slightly brown, you don't need them crispy or too browned/burnt (about 10 ish minutes make sure you're checking them tho for a golden color, it's one of those when you see it you'll know things)

Take the pan out and transfer everything into a blender, blend until smooth. This is the base of your soup (it's also good to remember you can do this with a lot of meals esp if you're a picky eater/have picky eaters in ur family but want to make sure veggies are being eaten. blending them up smooth can help with trying new things a lot, it makes it much less intimidating). Scoop that shit out into a large soup pot and add in your stock, I used chicken stock for a little more flavor but veggie stock works just fine for this too. Add in a lil extra seasoning, you wanna remember to taste while you cook it's one of the most important things in cooking so if the base is a little lacking in flavor sprinkle in some extra now

Let it simmer on medium heat about 15 minutes, make sure you're watching it and stirring consistently every few minutes you don't want it burning to the bottom. After 15 minutes add your tortellini, if you're using frozen ones make sure they've been thawing on the counter for a bit otherwise adding frozen ones straight in will mean a much longer wait time to make sure they're thawing and cooking through completely (plus the excess water from the freezing can throw off the soup base). Let it continue to simmer for another 10-15 minutes

Once everything is nicely cooked through you can kill the heat and serve, the heavy cream is for an optional drizzle in the soup it's not a necessary ingredient just if you're feeling fancy with your presentation. This goes best with a crusty bread, im someone who craves texture in meals and soups can be tricky since there's very little texture variety so bread is always a good thing to have with these dishes if ur also a texture freak like me

but tada now you have a nice tortellini soup!

[tealfruit]

request for audhd cooking tips post?

aight let's get into it

general cooking tips:

watch a lot of cooking videos. just like, in your spare time or whatever. I used to watch a lot of Tasty vids on Facebook back when that was the big thing, im sure there's still stuff out there like that. absorb the knowledge, bc everyone does need to know How to cook generally, no matter what your deal is. ymmv depending on what you watch and how your brain works, but at the very least you will get ideas and a general sense of several cooking techniques. this is important because:

cooking by measuring and weighing and planning can be really difficult! it is way easier (for me at least) to kinda just, throw things together than to go hunting down all the ingredients and measuring them out. this obviously requires some prior learning and plenty of experimentation, but that's ok, there are a few general things you can try to cook that are harder to fuck up. more on that later. DISCLAIMER: if you are making baked goods DO NOT wing it!!! cooking can be an art but baking is a SCIENCE and you don't fuck with science!!!!

get frozen veggies. get canned veggies. any time you get meat, put it in the freezer immediately unless you're going to cook it that night. with auDHD, perishables are a liability. if it's possible for you, don't get fresh fruits/veggies until you have already planned exactly how to use them in the next 2 or 3 days. "oh I'll stock up on fresh produce in advance so I don't have to go to the store later—" stop. that's the devil talking. your greens will be brown before you get to them. get frozens.

when possible, batch-prepare. full disclaimer I don't do much cooking at home simply bc I work in a school kitchen 5 days a week and get free meals there, but sometimes school is on break. I like to make a big bowl of something like crab salad or chicken salad or egg salad or whatever when I know I'm going to be home a lot so that even if I don't feel like making food, I have something yummy already made.

try to eat a variety of foods. this is advice for anyone but ik auDHD stuff has its own challenges with it. ik safe foods are important, but if you never eat a plant you will feel like shit. you may need to do some exploring to find stuff that you can handle and ways to prepare it that you like but I promise it's worth it.

get a cheap rice cooker. they're like $20 and will change your life. also, if you can afford it, an electric kettle, bc boiling water is way faster in those.

with all these tips in mind, here's 5½ easy recipes I like to make when I'm just not feeling like it. they're highly modifiable and pretty easy to throw together. unfortunately I cannot solve the issue of having to wash dishes afterwards.

Easy Baked Pasta

ingredients:

pasta of your choice (penne, rotini and cavatappi are good for this). preferably enough to fill whatever oven-safe pan you have

jarred pasta sauce of your choice

shredded mozzarella

preheat oven to 350°F

boil your pasta. then drain it.

get a casserole dish, or something that can go in the oven. throw the pasta in there with enough sauce to coat it and stir it around. top with shredded mozz and throw it in the oven.

take out once the cheese is melted and beginning to brown. save leftovers in the same dish if you want, just put a lid or some aluminum foil on it.

you can do so much else with this recipe if you feel like it. saute some veggies and add them in, add meat, buy the Fancy jarred sauce, hell make your own sauce if you want. but if you just fucking CANT EVEN today, thisll do in a pinch. (I actually am making this for dinner tonight, using some sauce I made for meatball subs yesterday)

you could even do this with a boxed macaroni if you wanted to make it super fancy!

Baked Chicken

ingredients:

raw chicken, any cut, bone-in or boneless, whatever

oil

sauce or seasonings of your choice (BBQ, teriyaki, sweet chili, etc), maybe minced garlic or parmesan

preheat oven to 350°F

get your chicken. pat it down with a paper towel if it's real wet, you want it kinda dry. put it in a mixing bowl

if you are using a sauce, dump it in the bowl and move the chicken around so it's covered in it. if you're using just seasonings, dump oil in there first and oil the chicken nice and thorough and then the seasonings.

get a baking sheet and grease it down well with cooking spray or oil. lay the chicken on the sheet and put it in the oven. once it reaches an internal temp of 180°F for bone-in or 165°F for boneless, it's ready to eat. (if you don't have a thermometer, just stab it with a fork and see if the insides look pink. if not, it's probably done, but err on the side of overcooking—salmonella is no joke!). serve with rice or pastaroni or whatever.

there's a version of this I do with potatoes and onions as well, but it takes a few extra steps. you gotta cut up and boil the potatoes and cut the onions, cover them in oil and herbs and seasonings, layer them in a casserole dish and put the chicken on top also covered in oil and herbs and seasonings. and then bake it. but thats an entire meal and you'll probably have some potatoes leftover for breakfast in the morning too!

also, we literally do this recipe at my job, because it's delicious and easy to make a lot quickly. literally just chicken drumsticks, covered in sauce and baked.

ALSO, you could do this with salmon as well. it's very good with olive oil, lemon juice, dill and parsley. OR just sweet chili sauce.

Easy Fried Rice

ingredients:

rice, preferably leftover but fresh is fine

chopped vegetables you like (I suggest bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, peas, corn and/or carrots)

prepared chicken (optional)

egg

soy sauce

oil

heat some oil in a pan or wok on medium heat

add in vegetables and sautee them for a bit

add in rice and soy sauce, mix well. keep everything moving

scooch everything to the side away from the heat. crack the egg in there and scramble it around. once it's mostly set stir the rest of it all together and it's basically done

easy to batch-cook for leftovers later. I like to use onions, mushrooms, bacon and egg for "breakfast fried rice". you can add in other sauces you like as well. and of course I'd be remiss if I didn't add: you should put MSG in there if you have it. it'll elevate it so much.

Roasted Vegetable

ingredients:

vegetable(s) you like, cut into pieces around 1". cauliflower, corn, zucchini and yellow squash are all really good for this. potatoes, broccoli, sugar snap peas and carrots are also really good, but if you're using them fresh id suggest blanching them first if you can. it's fine if you can't, they'll just take longer to cook

oil

herbs and seasonings of your choice, salt and pepper

preheat oven to 350-375°F, depending on vegetable. look up "roasted (vegetable) recipe" if you're really super not sure, get the cook time here too.

combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl, toss to coat. layer them on an oiled baking sheet and put em in the oven.

cook for, probably about 20-30 minutes, flip halfway through.

another recipe from work. a great side dish.

Beans and Corn Mix

ingredients:

can of black beans, drained

can of corn, drained

can of diced tomatoes, drained

frozen bell pepper and onion mix

minced garlic

taco seasoning

oil

heat oil in a big ass pan on medium heat

put the frozen onion and pepper in there, CAREFULLY. saute till thawed

add in the rest of the ingredients. there will be some juice in the bottom, so saute till things are kinda dry looking.

serve on tortillas with shredded cheese, or in scrambled eggs, or just eat it whatever it's good

I like making this when we do nachos but I always make a ton of it and then spend the week eating it in my breakfast with scrambled eggs.

last but not least, Fancy Sandwich

I'm not making a whole recipe for this. next time you go to make a sandwich, take the meat and cheese on one bread (cheese on top) and any veggies/dressings (not lettuce) on the other, and put them on a baking sheet and throw it in the oven for like, idk 5-10 minutes. til the cheese melts. throw the two halves together and cut it diagonally. bam, Fancy Sandwich.

hopefully you find this all helpful! it's tough out there but things are easier with a full and nourished belly. just like senshi says

[caelcstis]

emoji headcanons. // @r3dblccd all the food and drinks questions + 😨 FEARFUL, 🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL &💌 LOVE LETTER (for Raph)

🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?

raph likes a more heartier breakfast to keep his energy going, especially if he has to be forced into his human form during the day - it still eats at his magic no matter how little it is. he likes a nice soft omelet with maybe some ground, seasoned sausage or bacon next to it. a biscuit or a scone will be nice to him as well, heavy carbs to keep him full. he'll also have tea with to wash it down. of course going through the process of making all that food can be a little tedious, so more often than not he'll be found with a biscuit and some jam or honey to spread or dip into before he's getting to his duties.

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

birthdays are kinda obsolete?? at least to an angel as old as he is - but i celebrate his birthday on September 9th, he's a virgo. because they're obsolete to him, he doesn't really celebrate it - nor do the others really. maybe he'll get a small gift from one or two angels - or homemade crafts from his fledglings, but he doesn't really go out of his way to make it a big deal. he'd rather people not bring it up only because he isn't entirely comfortable with attention on him like that. he doesn't like being taken care of despite he needs it.

🍩 DONUT - favourite sweet treat?

gods, he's another foodie of mine. raphael has a more decadent palette. still probably not going to gravitate towards fattier things but he will try them and eat them if they're there. i feel like if anything's gonna get him, it's a good cobbler. the berries or fruits mixed in with that batter is just so fulfilling to him. it's also just?? warming to him if that makes sense. it's comforting, it warms him inside out and if it's a damn good cobbler, you will know. when he's happy with food - which doesn't take a lot on his end, his cheeks will flush a little and he won't even talk while he eats because he's just enjoying it.

🍟 FRIES - do they order food often? or they prefer to cook their own food?

now in recent more modern times, i can't say raph hasn't tried takeout, street food, fast food, all that and has enjoyed it - but he will always cook first. he has cottages, he has gardens. he has the resources to make things fresh even now. and damn is he good at cooking. there's very little at his age that gives him a hard time in the kitchen. doesn't matter if it's cooking or baking.

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE - do they prefer hot or cold drinks? what is their favourite drink?

he's grown up on tea and water p much, so he is a little fond of warmer drinks. he loves a nice herbal tea, but as hot cocoa came around he found himself enjoying that too. he can have it with some cayenne in it, or maybe some peppermint instead depending on his mood - but he's gotta have whipped cream on top of it witch extra chocolate shaved on top.

🍓 STRAWBERRY - do they eat their fruit & veg? what is their favourite fruit or vegetable?

he does eat them - again, never really been picky with any of it - but out of rule of thumb, he can habitually stray away from apples. he'll touch them and make them for your muse if they like them, but he doesn't really partake in eating them, more from heaven's influence. if he had a favorite fruit, it'd probably be pineapple or cherries. the tartness of a cherry and the variety of them are nice to both snack and bake with. pineapple because he is a fan of citrus, and it's refreshing to him. as for veggies, he likes leafy veggies?? like spinach, lettuce, it's a very nice base for him to use in cooking often and sometimes when the man just wants a quick an easy salad: clean it, throw it together with other shit.

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

honestly start the debate but he likes cheesecake the most lmao. raph amongst his sweet tooth has a very big palette for that sour along with some heat in his food. so cheesecake gets him a little weak tbh, put some compote or macerated fruit on there and he's down. but if you want a real cake and not a torte or a pie, however it's labeled as - a nice slice of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting will make him happy too. the warm spices and the sourness of the cream cheese just leaves him in heaven.

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

idk about childhood but raphael was still pretty young at the time when he lost ipos and orobas, and he was planning on giving the boys new cloaks as they were learning under his care and going through forests to forage for herbs and take care of humans - he wanted them warm and protected against the elements. he was never really capable of giving them to the boys, so he still has them: one white and threaded with gold, the other a deeper grey threaded with silver. they were also lined with thick wool for the colder seasons as they were approaching, something he took extra care into sewing together for them to not ruin the patterns he embroidered in them. they still hang in one of his wardrobes in his chambers in the throne - no one knows they're there, and he won't ever tell anyone. he doesn't want a certain angel finding them and would wreck havoc and his own sanity if he ever found them.

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?

idk if raph really goes into either?? he won't fight or get ready to fight if he's scared, but he won't run either. his instinct is going to protect if he's around someone, or if by himself, he'll either cover or brace himself. but he tries to assess his situations and always tries to deescalate. he did even when lucifer fell and was scared watching michael and him fight, he tried to calm them both and to stop it - and wound up being blasted by both of them and two of his wings were broken, one sprained, in the process. it's just that pacifist in him. he'd rather let something bad happen to him than to cause more of an issues for others later. he just takes it.

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

his raw anger. raphael has only ever been so angry in his life that it costed him: and that was ipos and orobas who were wrongly accused of sin in their young age. he had become so angry that he fought hand to hand with gabriel before he could touch orobas after orobas had pushed ipos out of heaven's gates before punishment could be dealt on his side. even being older, he was made weaker physically and was quickly held down by gabriel's angels. still angry, raphael fought against all their holds on him and dislocated his shoulder - but he never cared, he wanted to protect that boy. in the end he couldn't and had to watch his wings be ripped from his back, had to hear him scream and cry, something he never heard that boy do in all his life. the events caused him to fight with michael, they fell out for a while - raphael calling michael spineless, a coward, and he refused to follow an angel like that anymore. anything to break michael, and it did - but michael never revealed it to him, and in the end it broke raphael more. he stayed away from other angels as he healed and even a while after because he was angry, his trust was broken between two of his trusted brothers, his two angels in his care - he didn't know were alive or dead being so young. he never wanted to become so wrapped up in his anger and his wrath again, so his smile quickly became a mask for everything: his anger, his pain, his sorrow, his boredom. only he ever sees his emotions when he's alone.

💌 LOVE LETTER - do they like love letters? what kind of messages do they leave for their partner?

raph does love those kinds of things because it's just those physical acts of affection for him that make him weak. words of affirmation on top of it? he's melting. they will also leave some in return, his are often more playful and lighthearted though. say if he's to be gone for a while, his partner can expect to find little stickies in places he knows they use a lot around the house; just asking if they're thinking of him bc he knows he's thinking of them, or maybe little puns to make them smile (or cringe beforehand), or wishing them a good day/good night and sweet dreams - and he'll meet them there if they do.

[storiesofsvu]

“Who’s the better cook?” For all your ships please 👀😌

oh boy.... lololol

Cabenson: we all know it's Olivia! like, canologically (a least in the later seasons) we see her cooking a lot, and it's a pretty big variety of dishes/cuisines. I like to think that she uses cooking as her relaxing time, it's a time to wind down and not really think about the day so she focusses on the recipe/food and making sure it's gonna taste good. Bonus points for Alex perched on the edge of the counter sampling everything as they go.

Calex/Calvak: Casey. again, Alex is a disaster in the kitchen, we all know it. girl will order takeout any night of the week and has no issues with it. Casey's the one meal prepping their lunches every Sunday, making sure they get healthy and balanced meals in. Her Sunday cooking days are for *her* though and she regularly shoo's Alex out of the kitchen so she has her own space. there's a few different meals, so there's lots of mess/dishes to deal with. Similar to Alex, Rita can't handle much past easy breakfast food, and she doesn't really want to/enjoy cooking either, not to mention she has the money to waste on takeout daily, or a professional chef, or a meal delivery service (one where the meals come already cooked and she can pop it in the microwave and just eat it)

Novelly: both Casey & Liz are pretty equal when it comes to the kitchen. Liz knows a lot more gourmet dishes, and fancier baking skills, but those are usually saved for special occasions. they swap off for prepping lunches/dinners, but usually make their own breakfasts. Casey likes to get up and run in the morning, whereas Liz prefers to sit and enjoy her coffee, toast and eggs slowly while reading the paper. Casey usually just grabs a smoothie and a coffee and heads into the office post shower.

Barhoun: again, Rita's a disaster, and Rafael will constantly remind her about it. they both rely on a lot of takeout, but Raf's definitely the better cook. he also definitely introduces Rita to a lot of international dishes over the years that she's never heard of before. and naturally, Lucia usually brings over a week's supply of meals on a regular basis cause she'll show up at their apt and find the fridge empty minus a singular leftover takeout container and a bottle of coffee creamer and just rolls her eyes.

Barisi: it's another one with a good balance. though these boys totally argue over who's the better cook CONSTANTLY. Carisi does the majority of the cooking, Barba's the one who doesn't even really realize he's hungry yet cause he's so loaded up on coffee.

Wovak: I feel like this one is similar to Novelly, but Melinda's way better and knows more dishes so she usually cooks. it's the days that she's been working way too much overtime that Casey always makes sure to have dinner ready when she gets home, or takes it to her at her office.

Kippa: it's obviously Pippa. Kat's younger, and Pips is amazed at how the girl can eat a burger and fries nightly and feel great and not gain a pound. like, Kat could easily survive off an energy drink for breakfast, pizza for lunch, and chinese for dinner. She's decent enough in the kitchen, but definitely doesn't know how to cook like, full Sunday dinner kinda things. Easy dishes, stir fry, chicken and veggies, that kinda shit. Pippa's got way more experience, and knows how to alter the healthy foods just right so that the kids still like them (and yes...sometimes that includes Kat...)

Rollisi: Do i even need to do this one? LOL! it's obvi Sonny. I do think Amanda knows enough to get by, like, there's the vibe that she kinda had to take care of herself & her sister growing up, but she's no chef, that's for sure. and she doesn't enjoy it.

Benhoun: Obviously, again, it's Olivia. Rita's the one recommending nice bistros and restaurants around the city (and footing the bill) while Olivia's the one actually cooking. Though they both enjoy the staying in nights cause it gives them time to shoot the shit and talk non-work stuff while Olivia cooks. like, politics, philosophical conversations, or even just volleying back and forth over tv shows/movies.

[artykyn]

I’m of the opinion that the grand majority of the time, if you don’t like a certain food item, then you’ve never actually had it properly prepared. 

If you think veggies are gross then whichever of your parents cooked dinner was a bad cook. And if you’re an adult who still avoids veggies then you haven’t learned how to cook either because your parent(s) didn’t teach you well. Find recipes and try again.

Tea is just flavored water. If you don’t like flavored water then okay, fine. But if you are convinced that all tea is bitter, you weren’t given good tea. A lot of teas are supposed to be made with warm, not boiling water or else it makes them bitter. You also have to remove the bag after 3-4 minutes or else it’ll be bitter if it steeps too long. There’s also a hundred kinds of tea, different teas have different preparations, so if you’re making ALL tea as if it’s HERBAL tea, then... yeah of course you’ll think tea is gross.

Even stuff that most people do eat as-is, like fruits, you can still find recipes that make it more bearable to you so you can diversify your diet. If you have a problem with the flavor then add seasonings, toppings, sauces, etc. If you have a problem with the texture then mash it, blend it, make it into a jam, sauce, or smoothie.

But anyway my point is that your diet needs to be full of variety to make sure you get all the nutrients you need. Also it makes life less boring if you aren’t eating the same shit day in and day out. If you are avoiding a lot of foods because you don’t like them, it’s possible to learn to prepare them in a way you do.

[ebonyslasher]

It’s good for the soul!

Slasher react to trying soul food for the first time:

Michael has no expectations. He grew up on the blandest and “safest” food possible on the Smith’s Grove diet. Additionally, the food from his family wasn’t memorable. 

Michael eats dogs...and rats.....just straight chomped--no seasoning. Poor thangs didn’t have to go out like that.

That shit had to change and quickly. You were about to switch the game on him.

With everything new, he is curious. No worry with him refusing to try out something new (unless it’s too veggie or green).

You wanted to have him try different cuisines that you ate on the daily; Indian, Korean, Thai, Italian, Greek, etc. You grew up in a household that tried everything, food judgement didn’t exist. Doesn’t matter if the food cost $3 to $50, not like y’all were stressin’ over money. There were a variety of cuisines to begin his seasoned journey. How would you start this adventure off? Well, it’s be weird to not start with your own cultures’ food. Soul Food it is.

Michael scans the array of appetizing food, mouth watering ever since he smelled those delicious cooking aromas. 

Michael does not hesitate to grab a plate and starts piling shit even though it’s not done. If you yell at him to wait, he will grab something anyway and sit. Doesn’t matter how hot it is.

Skips over the vegetables, as expected. Good thing you didn’t make much of it. 

First bite, he stops. He’s amazed.

Is this what he’s been missing all these years? The flavor, it stabbed his mouth from different directions. He starts gobbling everything down, even the vegetables. He’s using his mouth to investigate the flavors. He starts to tear up a bit behind his mask, not understanding why.

Once he’s done, he stares at his plate in wonder for a few seconds. Then abruptly stands to get seconds. Thirds. Even a fourth plate. 

He kisses you. Yeah, the mask is still on, but he kisses you through it. 

His favorite food: Candied Yams

Favorite dessert: Red Velvet Cake

Food!Food!Food!Food!Food-

Y’all know childish men like him LOVES food. He’s exceptionally hyper after you were going to make some soul food for him.

Brahms bombards you with questions: “Y/n why’s it called soul food? What’s that? Do you call it greens cause of the color? How long’s this gonna take?”

Does this the whole time, it’s maddening. You tell him that the food will taste better if he stops asking questions.

“That doesn’t seem logical y/n but I’ll be quiet...if you give me some biscuits with gravy.”

“Fine.” You just wanted some peace and quiet.

He’s impressed with the spread that you set out. He quickly grabs everything in sight. Even stuffs some food down his throat as he goes.

And oh. my. god. IS IT GOOD. He closes his eyes every time he takes a bite, followed by a slow exhale. They flutter open to show a sensual look, overtaken by the flavor. You watch, enjoying his reaction. Although, you were hoping he wouldn’t be on some food wars type shit. 

He’s pretty adventurous with combining his food. This is the time where he doesn’t mind his food touching

Favorite food/combination: Fried fish and greens, topped with Cha cha (Pear relish)

Favorite dessert: Peach Cobbler

Jason doesn’t need to eat, but he still enjoys it occasionally.

When you really want him to try something, he will with no hesitation. 

He’s never had soul food before, it’s not something northerners like him are used to seeing. 

His mom was a great baker and had some secret recipes that he loved when he was little. So, he’s not new to having some good homecooked food.

You won’t need to worry about him eating his vegetables. He’s a good boy that finishes all his food, even if it’s something that he doesn’t like.

When you tell him that you want to cook him some soul food using your family recipes, he is excited. Jason wants an idea of what your family eats back at home, especially if it’s from your own mom.

This feels nostalgic, in his room playing with his toys, while he waits for the food to be ready. 

Once it’s all done, you yell from the kitchen that the ‘food is ready’. Jason walks in and sees you with a cute apron on, It makes him feel all giddy.

The taste reminds him of when his mom was alive. It took him back to when he was a little boy. He savors every last bite of this meal. It leaves him completely satisfied. He hasn’t felt full in such a long time and starts dozing off in the chair.

Favorite food/combo: Fried Chicken with Potato Salad

Favorite dessert: Pound cake

You all were going to your parents house for Thanksgiving. It was their turn to host this year; meaning that the boys would meet your cousins, aunts, and uncles.

“If they start asking you questions and making fun of you, don’t pay them no mind. They just trying to mess with you.....don’t let them see you sweat though.”

They nodded, anxious and nervous to meet the whole family in one go. They were worried that they wouldn’t like them.

“Will they roast us pretty bad??”

“Idk. They might. You aight?”

“Yeah...Yeah..” Oh boy, This was going to be a long dinner.

Once they get there, they were immediately hit with the heavenly aroma. I mean, it full on smacked them. They started to get excited, giving them some courage to meet your family.

It wasn’t as bad as they thought. They both got a little roasting from your cousins and uncles, but they laughed it off. Stu actually starts making jokes, while Billy just sits there looking pretty.

Finally, the food was ready (y’all know we kick things off late lol) and they jumped up to go get their plates. Their plates were piled up to the ceiling with everything. They didn’t dare skip any dish.

It’s the best food they’ve ever had. They plan to elope with you so that they can just be in these family gatherings forever. After that experience, you know they got to have some to-go trays. 

They compliment your dad on his mac and cheese.

“Like this is award winning, y’know? You should go into this competition coming up.”

Stu’s Fav food and dessert: Baked Mac and Cheese, Lemon Meringue Pie

Billy’s fav food and dessert: Collards Greens with Fatback, Banana Pudding

Bubba Sawyer

This boy is from Texas, he knows all about southern food. Ain’t much new for him.

Even though his family are cannibals, they still eat normal sides. Y’all know soul food is mostly sides anyway.

It’s just....the flavor isn’t there. And  when its attempted, there’s inconsistency. So you help out in the kitchen often. Very necessary to bring in more seasonings: they only have salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

Bubba’s never tried your cooking before, so he’s eager to see what you can make. And he isn’t the only one. 

Bubba hangs around the kitchen more often than normal. He likes to watch you focus and work. He also just likes being around you in general, you calm him down and make him feel better.

Chows down once food is ready. The moment he tastes what you made, he makes a lot of pleased sounds. 

Gets ready to hear lots of mmmmm and ooo’s, lol it’s cute though. You’re glad he likes them.

Favorite Food: Shitlins...I mean Chitlins/Chitterlings

Favorite dessert: Strawberry punch bowl cake

This isn’t his first time having soul food. His best friend would have him over for dinner biweekly. But because of his amnesia, he doesn’t remember what the dishes tasted like. 

It is his first time having your families’ soul food. Every family does theirs differently. 

He couldn’t come to the family gathering since he didn’t want to be recognized. He was worried about The Project possibly finding him and putting your family members in danger. Or worse, that one of your family members worked for them. If this is after his personality clash with Leo, then he would have no problem going.

You bring back a good bit of plates; stacked high in your back seat. He helps you carry it all in. 

Surprised at all the different foods once you uncover the plates. He can’t wait to dig in; he hasn’t eaten a proper meal in days.

Once he starts, he doesn’t stop. It’s so good. The first bite is something he feels like he can never forget. Even if he doesn’t remember the memory, he will remember the feeling that takes over his body.

The flavor makes him feel like his body just took in some fresh air. Nice and crisp, makes him have goosebumps. 

He becomes a little sad after eating his share. You ask him if he didn’t like the food.

“No, Y/n. I loved it. Everything was so good. I just don’t want to forget this. But I might......”

He feels guilty that sometimes he can’t remember anything, unsure if he would even remember you after he accomplishes his mission.

“It’s okay. Even if you forget, I’ll stick by you. I’ll find you. And you never know, maybe one day you’ll keep your memories.”

He hopes so, y/n. He really does.

Favorite food: Oxtails

Favorite dessert: Blackberry pie

[sourwormsaresour]

Headcanons on the type of pets La Squadra would own?

Holy shit this was too fun to make, especially with giving the pets names.

Sorbet and Gelato have their own Crusty-White-Dog™ that's a Maltese Terrier named Armani. The dog hates and barks nonstop at everything deemed threatening (aka, everyone and particularly the rest of La Squadra) and yet those two will claim she's the sweetest thing in the world. True to her name, they deck her with Armani branded clothes, either specially made dog fashion or they had a DIY done to make it look like an Armani outfit- down to the bright pink leash she wears dripping in the Armani logo. She eats the finest dry kibble and only drinks Ferrarelle Sparkling water; she will know the difference if you switch it up. She's the epitome of "I demand pets but only do so with your eyes" to everyone. Despite loving Sorbet and Gelato the most, she demands all their attention on her and she will cockblock those two if she catches them being affectionate to each other instead. Despite having a nice bed, she always sleeps between the two of them and will whimper if they kick her out of the bedroom so they can get intimate. Those tear-stained eyes always look like they've seen everything, despite being constantly babied by her owners. If Armani could, she would kill everyone.

Risotto, the biggest man in Vento Aureo, has a little Syrian hamster he called Ace. He thought that a pet with a shorter lifespan would allow him the perfect balance of having a pet but not being very attached to it compared to pets that live longer- he was wrong. If you ever come into Risotto's office as he worked, either you are greeted with Ace running around in his green hamster ball, walking around Risotto's desk as he worked, or running in the hamster wheel behind the desk. Ace's tank is an old Aquarium tank Pesci gave to Risotto that is now full of soft bedding, toys, and Risotto frequently cleans it. There are days where Risotto just spends hours watching his hamster walk around the room, eating little treats, and staring at Risotto with its beady eyes. It's gotten to the point where you can't walk into Risotto's office without noticing a lone sunflower seed or piece of bedding on the ground that Risotto didn't notice until you pointed it out. Every time Ace passes from old age, Risotto buys a new Syrian hamster and calls that one Ace. He hasn't kept track of how many hamsters that came and went so far, but treated every one of them as if they were the first Ace. He takes pictures of Ace doing the most relatively boring things and will share them with his members.

Illuso got a Sulphur-crested cockatoo named Scapino as a joke. He thought they didn’t require much attention but later felt bad when he found out that they need specific proper care. He proceeds to care for it as if it was his child. Illuso taught his bird how to speak and swear at people, specifically swearing at Formaggio and occasionally at Ghiaccio. This man will shower his bird with the best treats (expensive nuts, dried fruit, chicken bones) and has a special bar for it to perch on when they're in the shower together. This bird has free reign all over Illuso's place and wears a little anklet thing to verify that it has an owner should it escape. The two of them have spa days together and it’s one of the most wholesome things in the world to witness. Scapino will actually join Illuso on missions too, staying in the mirror world the whole time, and it provides him some comfort from his social anxiety. Sometimes Scapino sits on his shoulder as he walks. Illuso trained it to stay and hide in the mirror world so that it wouldn’t fly away or blow his cover when he’s working. But the bird will fly around in there and will watch anyone that’s getting murked in front of him with no remorse and commenting on it too. Imagine you’re dying in the mirror world and your last moment is this fucking bird looming over you going “night night, motherfucker”. JESUS CHRIST. 

Prosciutto used to be on the whole “pets are unnecessary” train but he had considered looking at breeders for the best quality dog. And then one rainy day he found an abandoned Portuguese Water Dog puppy in an alleyway and at Pesci’s insistence took it in. Turns out the puppy was bought by a rich family for their kid but then abandoned when the kid wasn't interested in it anymore. Prosciutto insisted that the dog was going to stay for one night and then sent to the pound first thing in the morning. It's been years now and the little dog is now a big fluffy good boy named Pon Pon. The second biggest chunk of Prosciutto's paycheck is for this dog; I'm talking grooming services with paw-ticures, an all-organic raw diet, the nicest beds that even a human would wish they can sleep on. Pon Pon is properly trained with all the basics and tricks, because Prosciutto doesn't want to deal with a misbehaving dog, but it will use puppy eyes against the old man now and then. He give you the best smiles if you call him a good boy and if you glance at the right time you can see Prosciutto smile for a brief moment. Had he lived longer, he would have made Pon Pon famous on Facebook like Boo the Dog. Prosciutto will also not admit that this dog has helped him get laid a few times, because every person he did bring home always got a kick out of Pon Pon.

Ghiaccio has a pet snake- an albino ball python named Bianco. Ghiaccio was also on the “pets are unnecessary” train too but mainly because he can't stand loud pets (i.e. Illuso and Sorbet and Gelato’s pets). When Risotto suggested he get a snake, Ghiaccio looked into it, researching and meticulously setting up the proper enclosure  and found himself going to a local reptile expo to find Bianco for sale. He’s fascinated by his snake to say the least, and would use leftover containers or Tupperware for Bianco to spend more money on proper equipment or food. Ghiaccio is really involved in online reptile forums and frequently debates with people on topics such as the best substrates to use, whether live rodents are better than frozen, ethics of breeding certain species, etc. He often gets worried when Bianco becomes picky and Ghiaccio would spend sleepless nights trying to get his baby to eat. Ghiaccio would walk around with his ball python wrapped around his neck or lets him slither around in his room under supervision but he mostly leaves him alone in the enclosure. There are times where he would claim he has the best, smartest pet and everyone just rolls their eyes like “yes the white fettuccine that got stuck in a toilet paper roll an hour ago is so smart”. But they let him rant about it. It’s kind of cute to say the least.

Pesci is the definition of people whose entire LIVELIHOOD is making his room into an aquarium. His room is full of strictly maintained, cleaned, and decorated tanks full of various types of aquatic animals. I’m talking Dwarf Puffers (Antonio, Portia, Jessica, Bassiano, and Solanio), Albino Gold Axolotls (Moe, Larry, and Curly), Red Ear Sliders (Franco and Ciccio), Clown Fishes (Browser, Mario, Toadstool, and Koopa), Brazilian Sea Horses (Tom and Jerry), a Blue Betta Fish named Valentina in a 30+ gallon aquaponics tank that grows a variety of plants each season- to name a few. He rebuilt his entire room to keep everything running and even had Melone help him set up timers for lighting and temperature control. Pesci will cry if you somehow made the pH level off by 1 or did not care for his animals properly when he’s away. He’ll even lecture you about bad tank setup. He's a prominent member of the aquarium  community in Italy and will regularly redecorate each tank to suit the year and mood. This is where he’s spending his cut on the 20 million lira job: caring for his mini aquarium room. He occasionally gives away his pets’ offsprings for extra money (he doesn’t breed but sometimes he ends up having a ton of baby animals he can’t take care of) and would have been a YouTuber for his fish content. Now that I think about it, Pesci reminds me of my mutual @nexter2nd. Please go follow them.

Melone has a Holland Lop bunny and you cannot change my mind. He actually had a pet bunny growing up, another Holland Lop named Echo and Grep, and his current one is named Sudo; all three are named after UNIX commands. He has a large dog crate he diy-ed to be a roomy enclosure in his room for her that he cleans frequently but also allows Sudo free reign of the room when she wants to go out. Because of his job, he makes sure all his wires are covered so his bunny isn't tempted to chew them and watches his bunny diligently whenever she roams around. Easter time is when the denim jacket, pastel bows, and flower crowns come out and Melone makes sure to take a lot of photos. He also housetrained his bunny and taught her a few tricks, similar to how he trained Echo and Grep years ago. Sudo is spoiled in terms of getting a lot of pets, new toys, and feasts on the finest veggies and delicious hay. Melone also makes sure the first thing he teaches his Juniors is to not harm the bunny. Surprisingly, he's against breeding Sudo and has her neutered. This is mainly because he doesn't have the time to breed and raise more bunnies but also he hates the idea of selling the grown bunnies off afterward. 

You know that Formaggio has a cat: the little Russian Blue cat named Sweetie Baby. Sweetie Baby was a kitten that he found outside his home. The little thing was the sole survivor of its litter and nearly starving to death, so he took her in thinking he will bring her to the shelter when she recovers; that cat now lets him live in HER apartment rent-free. Despite feeding her cheap dry food and constantly shoving her into bottles, he treats her like a queen otherwise. He will dress her up in little outfits (much to her annoyance) and often would be too aggressively affectionate towards her. Still, there are moments where she would cuddle with him during the later nights and allow him to put on one iced-out bow he just spent a quarter of his paycheck on. Walking to his apartment and even the backdoor of La Squadra’s HQ means carefully walking through the stray cats mewling at your feet, because Formaggio will feed any cat he sees. Initially, Risotto wanted the cats gone, but then he finds out the cats doubled as security when he watched some robber attempting to break in but getting their eyes scratched off instead.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

rank the breastforce from worst to best cook?

I got a similar ask to this, so imma just kinda combine them, if you don’t mind. So let’s do top five bad, top five good.

Best!;

Blacker. Are you kidding me? Dude is the uncle that reminds you to do your homework before missions, course he can cook. Granted they aren’t glam meals, but they’re balanced, healthy meals. He’s the guy that replaces his wheat pasta with chickpeas (i eat those actually, not too bad), and makes shit as healthy as he can, without it being rabbit food. His favorite dish to make is a balsamic fig chicken dish, normally served with roasted veggies, and white rice. And if Jan has been good, peanut butter cookies with rainbow sprinkles.

Goryu. He maybe rough around the edges, but he’s a solid cook. He makes dinner for all of his boys, and his boys only. They all LOVE his cooking, and they praise him every time. He works a lot with meat type dishes, and he tries to add variety into how he makes them, so his boys wouldn't get tired of them. He does desserts occasionally, but his food is generally plentiful, and maybe a tad messy looking. But it’ll fill up some bellies, especially his gyukatsu recipe. 

Hellbat. He’s no five star chef, but he’s capable. Serving some guy you just fucked a damn good meal? Putty in his hands. He prefers making sweets, mainly stuff like sweet breads stuffed with fruits, but he’s got the range. His top dish is his takoyaki. Seriously, those things are so good, bitches forget why they were mad at him in the first place. Everything else? it’s okay, but not GREAT.

Holi. He isn’t GREAT at food, but when Blacker isn’t around, most turn to Holi. He could be great, but he only really started once he had his own squad to look out for. Japanese foods aren’t his thing, unlike other’s. He focuses a great deal on american food, like mac and cheese, burgers, food that gets his team (and Jan) excited. There have been the occasional accidents (mainly when Clipper is around), but he’s capable. He makes REALLY good chili cheese dogs, but desserts are his bane.

Clipper. Clipper juggles a lot of shit in her life, it only makes sense that she’d add cooking to it. She’s no good at just one thing, but she does make the best bento boxes. They’re random more often than not, but you can tell she has favorites; soy sauce eggs, karaage, rice balls, etc, easy foods. They’re always so cute, and it makes any mech turn to jelly upon getting one from her. She ALWAYS gives Holi little marshmallow hearts, and you swear he’s a big mess over it.

Worst!!;

Deathsaurus. He’s a lazy bitch, dude can’t cook rice before just yelling at someone else to do it.

Guyhawk. He’s just fucking stupid. He can’t make shit, so he makes Hellbat make him food.

Leozack. He TRIES to make recipes, and he studies hard as to how to do it, purely to please his master. One thing goes wrong however, he stumbles, and it just. Gets fucked. Given how impatient Deathasurus is, he barks at him throughout it, so he gets flustered easily.

Star Saber. He knows his way around a sword, but not a spatula. He tries, but his food more often that not, is raw. No one has the heart to tell him it’s bad though, so shit doesn’t change.

Killbison. His definition of a good meal is just mountains of meat on a skewer. Not seasoned past salt and pepper. So he can KINDA cook, but you can get better street food than what he can make. It’s okay though, his ass is serving snacks, so you’re gonna eat good either way.

[conspiracieys]

personality ans fun facts for vey please! 💕

thank u what the heck... im lov u......

[cracks knuckles] vey time...

this got long as all hell im so sorry. i’ll readmore after personality tbh

PERSONALITY:

What’s their alignment?: Vey is definitely chaotic good. Like... i toyed with all the alignments and in the end, they’re a good person, but they go about it in a very chaotic and disastrous manner and not always within the confines of what one would call... Morally acceptable. But they’re good in the end.

Which one of the 16 Personality Types do they fit into?: God uh. brb lemme google. ONE GOOGLE SEARCH LATER... i think Vey would be ISTP? idk man. just seems like the one that’s them.

What are their hobbies and interests? Do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)?: okay well! their hobbies are mainly tinkering with robots and technology. that would be their main hobby. they also like to gather flyers that get put up around Pandora, just as sort of like... a scrapbook or newspaper-esque thing. it helps them feel like they’re Up To Date on the world (when they’re really, really not).

favorite food would likely be grilled skag steak. they can’t afford to be picky, not really, and skag is a pretty easy food source. and they like growing their own plants, so they grow herbs and can season their food really well!

favorite books would be anything on technology, robotics, programming, and artificial intelligence, whether or not they’ve read the books!

favorite color is pink because i project SO hard sometimes and we all love pink it’s the rule now :)

favorite place (after they leave Pandora, of course) would probably be either Promethea or Nekrotafeyo!

What are they bad at?: reading people, understanding tone and body language, expressing their emotions properly. they’re also bad at writing when it comes to creative stuff. they have TRIED. lord they have tried, but Jack ends up laughing so hard he has to phase back into the ECHO eye and Zane has in fact burned some of Vey’s writing.

they’re also really bad at singing (but they still do it and they enjoy it) and they’re SO bad at dancing (two left feet type of bad) (and at Hammy and Winny’s wedding, Zane and Vey try to dance together and Zane just says Absolutely Not My Toes Already Hurt Go Dance With Jack)

What kind of things do they dislike/hate?: they definitely dislike certain textures of food. they’d never eat calamari, for instance, just because of the texture. anything less than well done when it comes to meat, they can’t eat. they dislike the texture of cooked veggies.

they really, really dislike the color yellow. after years of being employed by Hyperion and being stranded on Pandora has made them practically despise the color.

they hate dealing with bandits and psychos. they speak broken bandit and they just find it so tedious to deal with and avoid it at all costs.

while they love AIs and robots, they have a special hatred for Loader Bots, if only because of the horrifying restrictions Hyperion put on their bots (regarding sentience etc)

Do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses?: why are mental illnesses being compared to vices and addictions i hate it here.

anyway ofc they’re mentally ill because i am also. they got the good ol’ adhd and depression and anxiety and probably abandonment issues. good for them.

What are their goals and motivations?: they want to one day create an Artificial Intelligence from scratch, as a companion, and build an android body for that AI. but with Jack in their life, they’ve put the AI on hold and are just focusing on building functioning android bodies. it’s very fun for them!

they’re also motivated by their own curiosity, once they have the means off Pandora. they want to explore the galaxy and find new technologies and such, to see if they can find anything that might contribute to their goals.

What are their manners like? Any habits?: manners are... so-so. it’s like, they treat everyone as an equal until proven otherwise. some people might get more respect than others (like Lilith, for instance, gets called Ms. Lilith no matter how hard Lilith tries to talk Vey out of it) and some people just get dismissed. but in general Vey tries to be kind if not neutral; especially neutral BECAUSE they have such a difficult time reading people and understanding other peoples’ intentions behind their words.

What are they most afraid of?: besides spiderants? probably being alone for the rest of their life, or not accomplishing their dream. which, to them, are the same fear. if they can’t accomplish their dream, they’ll be alone for the rest of their life.

FUN FACTS:

Which tropes do they fit? Which archetypes?:

Tropes they fit: Deadpan Snarker (unintentionally), Token Wholesome (due to their difficulty interacting with people), and Adventure Duo (both with Jack and Zane, sometimes Adventure Trio?) are the ones that jump out to me the most!

archetypes they fit: The Creator and The Explorer

Do they play any instruments? Sports?: No to both! the most sporty thing Vey does is explore and hike and fight. they do their best to stay in shape because they want to be a Vault Hunter one day, but they don’t do the sports thing. and they don’t really have an opportunity to or interest in playing instruments.

What are some items they always carry?: they always have their satchel with them, and it has a variety of crap in it, but always has their toolbox as well as a few spare tools, their Hyperion thermos they’ve been holding onto for six years because it keeps their water nice and cold at all times, their sketchbook so they can jot down ideas for their projects, and usually a snack.

Do they collect anything?: posters! and robotic scrap parts, even if they don’t use them in a project they just like to keep them.

What position do they sleep in?: on their right side with their hand tucked under their pillow, since they’re used to just using their hand as a pillow.

Which emoji would they use the most?: either 🤣 or 🙃 but like unironically and in the BEST possible way.

What languages do they speak?: English and some bandit. Jack is trying to teach them more bandit/psycho/whatever you wanna call it, and on Sanctuary III, Vey enjoys reading different language books

What’s their favorite expletive?: Varkidfucker.

What’s their favorite candle scent?: something simple, clean, and soft. like Amber Vanilla or fresh linen.

What songs remind you of them?: listen i haven’t been listening to a lot of music lately (i mostly just have minecraft videos on in the background while i do stuff), so i can’t give any songs without them feeling forced :(

Which animal would you say represents them?: most likely a wildcat, i think...

What stereotypical high school clique would they fit into?: the geeks for sure!

What would their favorite ride at an amusement park be?: hmm. you know the boat that goes back and forth and goes upside down and shit? yeah they’d be obsessed with that. or the fun house.

Do they believe in aliens? Ghosts? Reincarnation or something else?: yes to all? Aliens, check. Ghosts. Check. Reincarnation, check.

Do they follow any religions/gods? Do they celebrate holidays?: nah Vey isn’t particularly religious. they’ll celebrate holidays if the people they’re around celebrate them, but Vey doesn’t go out of their way to celebrate anything.

Which Deadly Sin do they most correspond to? Which Heavenly Virtue?: hmm. Pride & Diligence!

If you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, which would it be?: either the Hermit or the Tower.