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#this was SO fun and i feel like i have a better grasp on vey after answering this
shortpplfedup · 2 years
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Well that was fascinating and enlightening. I'm still not sold on the pacing of this thing, but the emotional throughline is solid and the characterisations are on point. The theme of this episode is 'escape', as Neung and Palm run away into a whole new emotional minefield. We also meet Palm's mother Mam, yet another woman who tells him to maybe try giving a shit about himself and also puts Neung to work, so I am inherently predisposed to like her despite her being a specific kind of nightmare fuel.
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I really wanted to meet Palm's mother to put all the pieces together and now that we have...oy vey. She seems like a fun lady but ain't a mothering bone in this one's body. It may be for the best that Mam didn't raise Palm, but she feels bad enough about it to at least offer him shelter, even if she makes him work for it. Mam's benign self-centred neglect is a stark contrast to Thanya's devotion, and honestly makes me want even more for Palm to be cared for and looked after. At least Mam is appalled by Chanon's use of Palm in this way.
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I have to say I'm impressed with Neung. Even totally out of his comfort zone, he manages to find a niche and make himself actually useful. I've never agreed with the takes that Neung is a spoiled brat; all his 'bratty' behaviour has been in reaction to Palm, in an attempt to navigate the now-clear-to-me monster crush he has on him. Neung is a skilled manipulator but Palm isn't really manipulable so to get his attention Neung does try stamping his feet a bit. Sometimes, Palm is annoyed, irritated, even angered by it. But sometimes, like this episode, he is endeared. When Neung calls him a fool again, in Mandarin this time, he can't help but give a small rueful smile.
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Because Palm is quickly coming to terms with rather a lot of things this ep. It seems like he's decided that as long as they have to be on the island, away from all the rules and restrictions placed on him by Chanon, he's going to allow himself to enjoy just being with Neung. He flirts with him, he holds his hand, he teases him into hugging him on the motorbike, he takes him on a little date. He never exactly crosses the line, in fact when Neung asks why he kissed him on the roof, he...well...lies. Or rather, he doesn't tell the whole truth. He wanted to make Neung feel better, that much is true. But he lies when he says it didn't come from his feelings about Neung. And when Neung scolds him for it, telling him not to do it again because a kiss is supposed to be meaningful, the look on Palm's face makes it clear that it was absolutely meaningful for him. He's having the time of his life...
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But he hasn't forgotten danger is lurking. He keeps telling Neung he's safe there, but that gun is constantly on him. He's trying to get Neung's mind off all the things he can't do anything about in Bangkok, but he brings up the spectre of Thanya himself. The way this episode isolates them completely by showing us nobody except them and Mam, you almost forget that they sped away from the scene of an attempted (?) hit! That they last saw their respective parents shot and bleeding and have no clue what happened and no way of finding out. They've both opted for distraction, and a little affaire de coeur is the best kind. Neung is a tad confused by Palm's new openness, and is trying hard not to read into it, but he can't help but be charmed.
Stray Bullets
Those loan sharks harassing Mam concern me. I don't think she'd sell her own son out to save her own ass, but I'm not sure she wouldn't.
All the cinematography in this episode is gorgeous. A big hand for the D.P. Rath Roongrueangtantisook.
The cowherd and the weaver girl get another mention. Once is notable, twice is foreshadowing.
Pond's body is CRAZY. Phuwin is no slouch, but Pond...chisos.
Neung declaring he wants to buy the beach so tourists can't ruin it...oh baby, you've not grasped certain things yet huh.
The way Neung was handling that gun made me nervous as hell.
I've noticed Jojo's use of English language music lately, first in The Warp Effect and now in this and it only strikes me because I don't usually get English language music in Thai dramas.
That scene where they change out of their uniforms stuck out like a sore thumb to me. Like...why is it there?
Seeing characters like a bus tout really make Thai dramas feel so homey to me. We're all more alike in the global south than you'd think.
Did Palm raise himself? Who the hell took care of this kid?
You can't tell me that Ai'Neung from Palm didn't thrill Neung down to his toes.
Palm curled up on the tiniest corner of the bed as far away from Neung as possible is so gay panic it's delicious.
Having Phuwin deliver that 'ben dan' pretty much straight to camera was a nice touch.
Looks like we'll be on the island for 3-4 eps, and I like giving them that time to breathe, but next week we check back in with the mess in Bangkok.
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conspiracieys · 3 years
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personality ans fun facts for vey please! 💕
thank u what the heck... im lov u......
[cracks knuckles] vey time...
this got long as all hell im so sorry. i’ll readmore after personality tbh
PERSONALITY:
What’s their alignment?: Vey is definitely chaotic good. Like... i toyed with all the alignments and in the end, they’re a good person, but they go about it in a very chaotic and disastrous manner and not always within the confines of what one would call... Morally acceptable. But they’re good in the end.
Which one of the 16 Personality Types do they fit into?: God uh. brb lemme google. ONE GOOGLE SEARCH LATER... i think Vey would be ISTP? idk man. just seems like the one that’s them.
What are their hobbies and interests? Do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)?: okay well! their hobbies are mainly tinkering with robots and technology. that would be their main hobby. they also like to gather flyers that get put up around Pandora, just as sort of like... a scrapbook or newspaper-esque thing. it helps them feel like they’re Up To Date on the world (when they’re really, really not).
favorite food would likely be grilled skag steak. they can’t afford to be picky, not really, and skag is a pretty easy food source. and they like growing their own plants, so they grow herbs and can season their food really well!
favorite books would be anything on technology, robotics, programming, and artificial intelligence, whether or not they’ve read the books!
favorite color is pink because i project SO hard sometimes and we all love pink it’s the rule now :)
favorite place (after they leave Pandora, of course) would probably be either Promethea or Nekrotafeyo!
What are they bad at?: reading people, understanding tone and body language, expressing their emotions properly. they’re also bad at writing when it comes to creative stuff. they have TRIED. lord they have tried, but Jack ends up laughing so hard he has to phase back into the ECHO eye and Zane has in fact burned some of Vey’s writing.
they’re also really bad at singing (but they still do it and they enjoy it) and they’re SO bad at dancing (two left feet type of bad) (and at Hammy and Winny’s wedding, Zane and Vey try to dance together and Zane just says Absolutely Not My Toes Already Hurt Go Dance With Jack)
What kind of things do they dislike/hate?: they definitely dislike certain textures of food. they’d never eat calamari, for instance, just because of the texture. anything less than well done when it comes to meat, they can’t eat. they dislike the texture of cooked veggies.
they really, really dislike the color yellow. after years of being employed by Hyperion and being stranded on Pandora has made them practically despise the color.
they hate dealing with bandits and psychos. they speak broken bandit and they just find it so tedious to deal with and avoid it at all costs.
while they love AIs and robots, they have a special hatred for Loader Bots, if only because of the horrifying restrictions Hyperion put on their bots (regarding sentience etc)
Do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses?: why are mental illnesses being compared to vices and addictions i hate it here.
anyway ofc they’re mentally ill because i am also. they got the good ol’ adhd and depression and anxiety and probably abandonment issues. good for them.
What are their goals and motivations?: they want to one day create an Artificial Intelligence from scratch, as a companion, and build an android body for that AI. but with Jack in their life, they’ve put the AI on hold and are just focusing on building functioning android bodies. it’s very fun for them!
they’re also motivated by their own curiosity, once they have the means off Pandora. they want to explore the galaxy and find new technologies and such, to see if they can find anything that might contribute to their goals.
What are their manners like? Any habits?: manners are... so-so. it’s like, they treat everyone as an equal until proven otherwise. some people might get more respect than others (like Lilith, for instance, gets called Ms. Lilith no matter how hard Lilith tries to talk Vey out of it) and some people just get dismissed. but in general Vey tries to be kind if not neutral; especially neutral BECAUSE they have such a difficult time reading people and understanding other peoples’ intentions behind their words.
What are they most afraid of?: besides spiderants? probably being alone for the rest of their life, or not accomplishing their dream. which, to them, are the same fear. if they can’t accomplish their dream, they’ll be alone for the rest of their life.
FUN FACTS:
Which tropes do they fit? Which archetypes?:
Tropes they fit: Deadpan Snarker (unintentionally), Token Wholesome (due to their difficulty interacting with people), and Adventure Duo (both with Jack and Zane, sometimes Adventure Trio?) are the ones that jump out to me the most!
archetypes they fit: The Creator and The Explorer
Do they play any instruments? Sports?: No to both! the most sporty thing Vey does is explore and hike and fight. they do their best to stay in shape because they want to be a Vault Hunter one day, but they don’t do the sports thing. and they don’t really have an opportunity to or interest in playing instruments.
What are some items they always carry?: they always have their satchel with them, and it has a variety of crap in it, but always has their toolbox as well as a few spare tools, their Hyperion thermos they’ve been holding onto for six years because it keeps their water nice and cold at all times, their sketchbook so they can jot down ideas for their projects, and usually a snack.
Do they collect anything?: posters! and robotic scrap parts, even if they don’t use them in a project they just like to keep them.
What position do they sleep in?: on their right side with their hand tucked under their pillow, since they’re used to just using their hand as a pillow.
Which emoji would they use the most?: either 🤣 or 🙃 but like unironically and in the BEST possible way.
What languages do they speak?: English and some bandit. Jack is trying to teach them more bandit/psycho/whatever you wanna call it, and on Sanctuary III, Vey enjoys reading different language books
What’s their favorite expletive?: Varkidfucker.
What’s their favorite candle scent?: something simple, clean, and soft. like Amber Vanilla or fresh linen.
What songs remind you of them?: listen i haven’t been listening to a lot of music lately (i mostly just have minecraft videos on in the background while i do stuff), so i can’t give any songs without them feeling forced :(
Which animal would you say represents them?: most likely a wildcat, i think...
What stereotypical high school clique would they fit into?: the geeks for sure!
What would their favorite ride at an amusement park be?: hmm. you know the boat that goes back and forth and goes upside down and shit? yeah they’d be obsessed with that. or the fun house.
Do they believe in aliens? Ghosts? Reincarnation or something else?: yes to all? Aliens, check. Ghosts. Check. Reincarnation, check.
Do they follow any religions/gods? Do they celebrate holidays?: nah Vey isn’t particularly religious. they’ll celebrate holidays if the people they’re around celebrate them, but Vey doesn’t go out of their way to celebrate anything.
Which Deadly Sin do they most correspond to? Which Heavenly Virtue?: hmm. Pride & Diligence!
If you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, which would it be?: either the Hermit or the Tower.
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legolaslovely · 5 years
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Mistakes Part 1
A/N: Have some more vampire boyfriend feels because I am so pissed at this show (so I’m rewriting it! WHOOO). Mitchell deserves so much better and I can’t deal with how much his character has changed since the first season. So this is first season baby Mitchell if anyone was wondering lol. Hope you guys enjoy.
Pairing: Mitchell x Reader
Word Count: 3,356
Warnings: Spoilers for show, language, talk of blood, violence, fluff, allusions to smut
Summary: Mitchell takes his girl out for drinks to forget about his troubles, but his troubles follow them.
Mistakes Masterlist
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God fucking damn it. This day had gone from bad to worse. The worst he could imagine, really. All he wanted was to spend some time with this completely normal, human girl who had his heart, despite everything he did to keep it for himself. He had a whole hour of her smile, her laugh, her hands on him, and now she was in someone else’s grip, barely breathing with tears stuck in her eyes. How did this happen? He went back to the start.
He never expected leading a group of unruly vampires would be this hard. But he never expected to actually be doing it either. Once Herrick was gone, of course it became his job to keep the vampires of Bristol in line. He could never let things lie or leave the job to someone else. These things always fell to him. Mistake number one.
Mistake number two and three came quickly. He thought he would be accepted as leader. He thought they would listen to him and learn to go without blood. He learned very quickly none of that would happen. He had spent the day planning, threatening and even killing one of his own. He needed an escape. He needed (Y/N).
He left the funeral parlor, took a cigarette from the box in his pocket and lit the end, hiding it from the wind in his gloved hands. He crossed the street and slammed his fist on the hood of a car that almost ran him over. The driver honked and cursed him but Mitchell gave no answer, he just continued down the street. He took a drag, holding the burn in his lungs and breathing out all his frustrations and troubles of the day. He refused to bring them to her.
He fumbled with his keys as he stood outside the door to the house. He smirked, listening to the voices inside.
“No one would be fooled by that, even I knew that was fake,” he heard George say.
“You did not, George. Don’t even lie.” Mitchell grinned when he heard (Y/N)’s voice. She never took any of George’s shit.
“Well, just look at it!” George yelled.
Mitchell stomped out his cigarette and pushed the door open. (Y/N), George and Annie were piled on the couch, hands out and pointing to the small television across from them. None of them noticed him enter. He shut the door and snuck around the couch and sat on its arm next to (Y/N). She turned and grinned.
“Look what George found in the bin at the old video store. The entire series of The Real Hustle on DVD. Can you believe it?” She grabbed his arm in her exhilaration. He knew she was more excited for him to watch it than anything else.
“The whole thing?” he asked.
“The whole thing!” She almost screamed. She shoved the DVD case in his hands. “No more checking the guide every Thursday. You guys can watch it whenever you want.”  
“George, you spoil me,” he said. He laughed when George waved his sarcasm away. Mitchell was actually quite happy with the find. He knew he hadn’t seen every episode in the first season and could never seem to catch up. But he knew it wasn’t (Y/N)’s favorite thing to watch and she was only humoring him.
She stood. “Want some coffee or a beer or something? Where’d you go today?”
He followed her into the kitchen, ignoring the urge to grab her and take her to his room right then. “Had to stop by work.”
She hummed, unimpressed and unconvinced but she didn’t press him. She held out a beer bottle in question. He took it, putting it back in the door of the fridge and set his hands on her hips, pulling her back into his chest. “I was thinking…” He kissed her neck.
“What were you thinking?” He could hear the smile in her words.
“That we could either stay here and watch The Real Hustle with George pretending he knows everything,” he paused and listened to her soft laugh. “Or we could go to that bar around the corner you like and have a couple drinks there.”
“Tough choice,” she said. She turned in his arms and threw hers over his shoulders, kissing him. “Lemme fix my hair. I’ll be down in a sec.”
He watched her hurry up the stairs. Once she disappeared, he changed into the jacket he knew she liked him in.
“Where are you two going?” Annie asked.
“For a couple drinks. That good band is playing at the Hangar and I need to get out for a bit.”
Annie started to question, but George spoke over her. “You’re missing The Real Hustle,” he said without taking his eyes off the screen.
“That’s the joy of having it on DVD now, George.”
“I guess,” he said. Mitchell chuckled.
He turned and watched (Y/N) hop down the stairs. He noticed she had changed her shirt. He threw his arm around her shoulders and brought her to him to kiss her hair.
“See you two later,” she said.
George and Annie sang goodbye to them as Mitchell pulled (Y/N) through the door. He closed it and left all his thoughts of vampires inside. That was his next mistake.
They sat on the corner of the bar away from most of the other people. He ordered her favorite drink and watched her bop her head along to the band. Her lips barely moved as she sung the words. After he paid for the drinks, he scooted his chair closer to her.
“So, are you gonna tell me what went on today?” she asked.
“Nothing out of the ordinary,” he said, sipping from his glass and glancing at the band.
She smirked and set a hand on his arm. “John Mitchell, I know when you’re stressed, babe. So you can either tell me now when I’m buzzed or tell me later when I’m hungover. I promise the latter will be worse.” She kissed where his jaw met his ear.
He breathed out a laugh. “There’s really no need to scare you. I just want you to have a good time tonight.”
“We will do that once you tell me what’s going on. I’m not scared, you know that.”
He knew she wouldn’t let this go. She played with his fingers as he told her. He had taken on the role of leader because he was the only one capable of it. The vampires had been playing with him, pushing back, so to send a message he killed one of his own. Now they respected him and he hated himself.
She nodded, ran her fingers through his curls and asked him if he wanted another drink. This is what he loved about her, she always knew exactly what he needed, even when he didn’t know himself. She knew when to listen, when to discuss, and when to just ignore things for a few hours. She turned to the bartender and ordered two shots of bourbon.
They clinked their glasses and downed the fiery liquor. She hopped off the stool and grabbed his hand. He gladly followed her to the middle of the packed floor, taking in the curve of her hips and the sway of her hair. When she was happy with their placement in front of the band, she turned and threw her arm over his shoulders. He couldn’t help but kiss her.
His hands found their place on her hips and they swayed to the music. He was surrounded by drunk, sweaty humans but no one emitted heat like her. He was addicted to it. Underneath the music in his ears, the sound of her heartbeat and the blood rushing through her veins pounded through his body. His lips attached to her neck and he felt her flush in embarrassment. She hated this kind of public display but she let it slide for him.
Song after song ended and new ones began. A new voice of the band rang out through the bar and Mitchell chuckled. (Y/N) looked up at him and he pushed her hair behind her ear. “I used to listen to this song on an 8-track.”
She listened and circled her hips to the new beat. “God, you’re old.”
He laughed and spun her so her bottom was pressed against him. He spoke into her ear. “Too old to please you?”
He didn’t hear her hum but felt the vibration. “Absolutely not.” Her hand swung around his head and grasped at his hair, pulling him down for a wet kiss. Then she giggled and leaned back on his shoulder. “I would have loved to have seen you in the seventies. I bet you were the hottest guy around. Walking sex.”
His laugh fanned over the skin on her neck. “If bell bottoms and messy hair do it for ya.”
“Oh, they do.”
When the song ended, she spun in his arms. He asked her if she wanted another drink.
“Yes please,” she said with a sweet kiss. “I’m gonna duck into the bathroom first though.”
He let her leave his embrace and immediately wanted her back in it. He watched her make her way through the crowd until she disappeared into the sea of people. That was his worst mistake.
It only took a moment for him to get the drinks. The floor waved a bit underneath him as he waited for her, leaning on the wall next to the restrooms. He bobbed his head to the music, tried to decide if he wanted another cigarette, and sipped on his drink. He hooted for the band when the next song ended. Then he almost dropped the drinks.
He heard (Y/N) scream him name through the door. He threw the glasses on the table next to him and ran into the women’s bathroom, almost taking the door off its hinges. Then he froze, immediately sober, watching (Y/N)’s own dark blood run down her neck.
“You may want to lock the door, sweetheart.” Daisy’s cool voice flitted from her red lips just behind (Y/N)’s shoulder.
His stomach flipped. He stared at (Y/N)’s apologetic eyes and wanted to scream. How did this happen? He let her out of his sight for one moment and now she was bleeding in Daisy’s grasp. He saw tears welling in her eyes and the red marks on her arms from Daisy’s nails. How long had she struggled before he heard her screams? His eyes narrowed. “Let her go.”
“But we’re having so much fun here,” Daisy said. She licked a stripe up (Y/N)’s neck, stopping the blood from dripping on her shirt. “Want a taste?”
Rage flooded his veins quicker than bourbon ever could. He stepped to them, ripping a sink from the wall and sending porcelain scattering all over the tile floor. “Daisy, I said let-”
“Careful,” she said. Her nails dug into (Y/N)’s skin and drew blood. “Don’t want to cause a scene.” She lifted her finger and sucked, watching Mitchell’s chest heave. She hummed. “God, I forgot how sexy you are when you’re angry with me.” Her eyes flashed black and she showed her fangs, ready to burrow back into (Y/N)’s neck.
He growled. “Let her go now or I will tear you to pieces.”
“As you did Kara?”
Mitchell’s brow furrowed. “Is that what this is about?”
“You’re the big chief now. Always have to send a message when one of us steps out of line. What are you gonna do once I kill your human?”
His comeback fizzled to nothing when he saw the tears falling down (Y/N)’s face. She sucked in a shaking breath and closed her eyes. He knew she was trying to gather herself instead of distracting him but he couldn’t drag his gaze from her.
“She says she’s not afraid of us,” Daisy said, staring at the blood dripping down (Y/N)’s neck. “But she seems terrified to me.” She bit down hard on the neck below her while she had the chance. (Y/N)’s screams bounced off the tiled walls of the room and shattered his heart.
He plowed into Daisy, peeling her claws off of (Y/N) and holding her against the wall by her neck. Though her lungs burned and her feet dangled above the ground, she stared into Mitchell’s dark eyes and smirked. “What are you gonna do to me, Mitchell?” she got out. Her red hair flowed over his hands and he felt her lungs twitch. He set her down, but his tight grip remained.
“Such a softy,” she said, twirling a lock of his hair on her finger. When he jerked away, she giggled. “Are you really gonna let me go after I bit your little human? Let me off with a warning? You know I’ll keep coming after her.”
She grunted when he slammed her head against the hard wall. “If you even look in her direction again I won’t hesitate to kill you.”
She licked her lips. He watched the blood gather on her tongue and then disappear. “Is this who you are now? The big boss? Killing anyone out of line in defense of your human friends?” She turned to (Y/N) and spat in her direction. “You don’t belong with them. You could rule the world if you just accepted who you are.”
“I know who I am.”
“You’re a vampire, Mitchell. A killer. You’ve never accepted that.”
He stared at her, refusing to argue. The smell of blood had filled the room and his mind with haze. He wouldn’t last much longer. The blood lust would make him do something he’d soon regret. He dropped her, watching her fall to the floor. “Go home, Daisy.” He turned and left her there.
(Y/N) was leaning against the door, holding pressure to her neck and fumbling with the lock on the door. He wished he could snap his fingers and get her out of here. He wished none of this had ever happened, that they had just stayed home and watched The Real Hustle, but he was sure Daisy would have found them another day. He was a few steps away from her when she screamed his name again.
Searing pain ripped through his neck. It was nothing he hadn’t felt before, but it still hurt like a bitch. Daisy had bit into him hard and her nails were digging into his face searching for bone. He knew he had to escape her or she’d tear him apart, take the regime of vampires for herself. All of Bristol would descend into hell. Worst of all, (Y/N) would watch him die and there’d be no one left to protect her.
He reached behind his back for Daisy, but couldn’t find a grip. He ran back and slammed her into the wall, but she wouldn’t budge. He was running out of ideas and time. Then Daisy screamed in his ear and her limbs went limp. She slid off his back and fell to the floor with a large dagger of porcelain in her neck. (Y/N) stood above her with shaking hands holding another slice of porcelain and ready to fire. He dragged her away, wrapped her in his jacket and led her out of the bar and into the street.
“Is she- I didn’t kill her? That wasn’t wooden,” (Y/N) said. Mitchell was astounded at her steady voice.
“No, she’s not dead.” They crossed the street, finding comfort in the bright lights above. “I’ll take you home, I’ll deal with her tomorrow. She won’t hurt you.” He zipped up his jacket around her as if she were a child.
“I—I want to stay with you. I want to go to the house.”
“No, I’m bringing you to yours.”
“I can’t go home, Mitchell. My neck is bleeding.”
He tripped over the curb and halted. Then he turned, leading her the other way. “You’ll stay with me.”
The walk back seemed miles long and when they finally reached the house, his shaking fingers couldn’t get his keys out of his pocket. He slammed his fist on the door, glancing over his shoulder.
(Y/N)’s hand covered his. “You’ll wake the neighborhood, Mitchell. She didn’t follow us.”
He nodded wildly and kissed her knuckles. When Annie opened the door, he just about threw (Y/N) inside.
“What’s happened? You’re both bleeding!” Annie shrieked.
“Daisy attacked (Y/N),” was all Mitchell could say. He wanted to continue. It’s all my fault. She’d be safer without me. I had to fall in love with her and bring her into this world. I had to go out instead of watching The Real Hustle, safe in this house. I had to bring her to that bar instead of staying home and having her safe in my bed. It’s all my fault.
Annie sat (Y/N) on the couch and pulled Mitchell’s jacket off her, but (Y/N) held it in her lap. Annie then vanished and reappeared with warm water and towels and held a mug of coffee that had been sitting on the table. “I made this not too long ago. Wait, no, this one.”
George ran down the stairs, falling off the last step. He took one look at all the blood and said he’d call Nina.
Mitchell didn’t leave (Y/N)’s side as Nina cared for both of them. Nina chatted on and on about nothing, unable to deal with the silence. Annie and George were left with their questions, but they knew not to push Mitchell when he was this wired. He was silent, busy wondering what was going on inside (Y/N)’s head. He watched the small smiles she sent to Nina and the winces that would sneak in every once in a while. As always, her fingers were fiddling with his.
When she was finished, he said goodbye to Nina and thanked her. Then he flew upstairs. He didn’t hear (Y/N) follow shortly after. He gathered an extra pillow and blanket from his closet and turned to see her standing in the doorway.
“I’ll sleep on the couch tonight, you’ll be in here,” he said. “George and Nina are right across the way and-”
“I know where everyone sleeps, Mitchell.”
He nodded. He stepped to her and kissed her forehead, then headed for the door.
“We don’t have to talk about it tonight, but you-you cannot leave me alone. I won’t let you use this as an excuse to push me away.”
She was crying. He felt as if someone was grinding his heart into dust. He threw the pillow on the floor and wrapped his arms tightly around her, listening to her cry. He deserved this kind of torture, he thought. He led her to the bed and pulled her on top of him, kissing her head. He left the lamp on and hoped to whatever was out there that she’d be able to sleep.
She moved on him, circling her fingers on his chest. She was still awake.
“Are you in pain?” he asked.
“Not anymore. Are you?”
He scoffed. He could handle what Daisy had done to him, but not what she had done to (Y/N). “All of this is painful. I should have stuck to my original plan for tonight.”
“And what was that?”
“To bring you to this bed and not allow you to leave.”
She looked up at him and smirked. “We can still do that.” She kissed him.
After that, it didn’t take her long to fall asleep in his arms. If he was smart, Mitchell thought, he would let her go in the morning. He’d move far away and let her live out a normal life without him. But he wasn’t strong enough to let the love of his life go. He was strong enough, however, to protect her from anything that came their way.
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cosmik-homo · 5 years
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Jewish Alfred
I’ve been wanting to make this post for. a while now but I felt uncertain about it. So I decided that instead of trying to write a Big Expert Comprehensive Information Post about things i’m not actually sure of, I am going to write my thoughts on why I first started thinking of this headcanon and why I like it. Am i grasping for straws? maybe. you don’t have to accept my headcanon, or you can accept it but not all of the points. but I wanna write it down anyways. so here it is.
 1.    Belief in God is important to him:  First of all, from the moment he is introduced to it in Fire Sea and until the very end of Seventh Gate, Alfred latches to the idea of a god or god-like force of good- he refers to it mostly as a higher power- when few people around him believe that. In my opinion that belief and that search for god is an important part of his plotline- especially in serpent mage- and of his character. 
2.    Tikkun Olam, babey: The end scene about the relation between God and being good is a Jewish Theme with the idea of Good deeds we must do to help the stuff Fix itself into Harmony resonates with the jewish term called Tikkun Olam or generally translated, “fixing the world”.  basically, in the original prayer verse which this term comes from, Tikkun Olam is about bringing the world under god’s reign. I don’t want to say exactly enforcing god’s commands cause that makes it sound a bit too aggressive, but it’s definitely about obedience to enforced ideals of good from above. but in modern jewish philosophy the connotation of that term changed a lot and nowadays when people talk about Tikkun Olam it’s about working to make a better kinder world- something along the lines of “God is good and great but we can’t trust on him to fix all the problems in the world for us, we must each do our part to make a better world”. not only is this fitting with the whole We Are All A Drop In The Wave And We Are All Responsible thing, it also reminds me of moving from old self-righteous sartan values like Samah's, breaking the earth to “Bring light” to the mensch nations against their will, into this philosophy and into Radical Kindness, which is the most Alfred thing.  (this part was helped by @alyssumlovesthecosmere who's got more Judaism knowledge than me, thanks)
3. Arianus= assimilation: At the beginning of the story, when we meet him on Arianus, he is the only one left of his people, his community, trying to hide his identity and bland in to be like the rest of the mensch (hey look, that's German. It also has a different Yiddish meaning.). I find it a bit like jewish history of cultural assimilation and throught out the ages. I also want to site here the cultural disconnect he feels about his sartan heritage-
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I really don't know how Universally Jewish this is. I just look and this and even as in Israeli jew living in the culture I can connect it to mu own experience about my heritage, about not asking enough and not remembering enough from what I was told about my grandparents and their culture. I am willing to risk generalizing and say I think this has a jewish vibe to it too.
4.   through the whole series he’s wandering from place to place, from world to world, trying to find a society where he will belong, always failing to fit in. that's again sort of, a historical jewish struggle (Until he finds people to be a home, a Found Family that loves him, but that’s more for Ruby’s post about Alfred and LGBT themes).
 5. In Abri: Speaking of ruby’s ( @deathgatesideblog ) post about Alfred and the lgbt experience, she talks there about how his experience in Abri is one of finding community, realizing he isn’t alone and that other people think and feel the way he does- Sartan who get along with the patryns, his dreams of peace made manifest.
(sidenote: wow, writing it down this way, he feels belonging to people who are the result of patryn/sartan relationships…. like, they literally wrote him in love with Haplo holy shit ok back on track).
The point is, what triggers this joyous feeling of belonging, what is the sign that makes him realize he’s Among People Like Him? If you don’t remeber, let me remind you: 
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OK. ok, yes, a lot of other religions bless before food too. This could be a point towards painting him as a person with connection with religion in general, not necessarily Judaism. and I agree that by its own it’s ambiguous- the mention of the hand movement even sort of evokes Christian grace, but I don’t know many Christians who bless their food in an ancient musically-associated language unique to their group.
when he realizes he is not alone it happens through prayer, and as Deathgatesideblog wrote, that moment is a part of his Minority Identity.
6.  Cultural value of life and a fun (a word which here means, sad and not very fun) fact about suicide in Judaism: Judaism places an emphasis about the value of life, which you can see Alfred talk about a lot, especially in fire sea, as a part of sartan values. I have like 3 minutes to finish this so I am going to be brief: a fact that stems from this is Amongst the different sections of Judaism and through the eras, views of suicide ranges from either being frowned upon through taboo to an outright sin. From what Alfred talks about, sartan culture again dosen't seem so different.
7.    In the Dragon wing appendix, an ancient sartan name for god is Elihn. obviously comes from to the Hebrew word for god, Elohim.
Au points:
Listen. modern au jewish Alfred including “oy vey iz mir” in his stressed-out rambling is just, precious
Also jewish prayer and sartan magic both involve tune and movement in similar ways. Jewish prayers involve tunes and sung parts, and in a modern au Alfred finding solace in prayer is emotional and pretty and a good tool for Parallels to the series.
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0megasquadveigar · 6 years
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To Vei
@veigartheillusionist Sorry this is so late, as you know i’ve been having some troubles in my life, but I still really wanted to give you a gift, so here, have a drabble. I hope you enjoy it ^^” and happy late birthday
“What the hell do I get Vei for his birthday?”
He stands in the store entrance, staring at the many aisles of things that could suffice for his mate’s birthday. A quick, small tug to his paw made him look down at his son. “Yes Cal?” Iddian asks, knowing his son was probably about to ask for the giant sucker he had been staring at for the past couple seconds.
“Can I have?” Cal asks quietly, picking up the lollipop from its stand and tapping it against his father’s arm multiple times. Iddian knew this was coming. Purposefully avoiding his son’s gaze he stares down a different aisle. He is aware that if he looks down Cal will begin to use his cute face to get him to say yes. He hasn’t been able to deny him or his husband anything when they use that face. “Maybe if you’re good all through the store today, I’ll consider it.”
The small child bounces up and down eagerly, still clutching to the lollipop like it was his lifeline. He was going to be on his best behavior. He needed this sucker. As Iddian strolled through the aisles of items he grew increasingly frustrated. Why was his mate so hard to shop for? He soon felt more frantic little tugs on his arm as Cal squealed with excitement. “Daddy please I wanna go in the stuffy aisle! Pleeeease!” Cal begs, looking back at his father who still had a firm grip on his hand. No way Commander was about to let go of him. If he let go Cal would shoot off like a rocket and take hours to get back under control. The kid could run, he’ll give him that.
Deciding to let his kid have a bit of fun he agrees, walking over to the aisle full of stuffed animals. As he was led through the section he stops, staring at a giant lion plush. A flashback from a while ago showed his husband getting wide eyed and childish over a penguin stuffed animal. That was it. He reaches up, pulling the enormous lion off the shelf. Cal practically screams. “Are you getting that for me? Oh thank you so much daddy! I love you!” Iddian sighs, looking down at his child. “No Cal, this is for your dad’s birthday. You have your sucker. If you want, you can pick out a piece of candy for your dad too, so you can give him a gift too.” He tries to explain. Cal’s face drops in excitement but he nods slowly. “Alright… I wish it was my birthday too.” He mumbles, walking with his dad off towards the candy section. He decides on some chocolates he had seen his father eating before. “These ones!” Cal chirps, reaching up on his tip-toes to grab the bag of chocolates. Commander takes them from the little yordle and heads to the cashier. Paying for all the items they begin their walk home.
Half of an hour later they arrive back at the house, and Cal immediately runs into the room where Vei was napping. “Dad! Dad! He’s got a present for youuuu!” He calls eagerly, bouncing onto the bed and waking up his other father from his sleep. Vei makes a couple of soft noises before sitting up and wrapping Cal in a hug. “The best present he gave me is you.” He purrs sleepily, rubbing his nose off of his childs. “No silly!” Cal cries, squirming to try and get out of his older father’s grasp. “A real real present! Because it’s your birthday! I kinda wanted your present but I got a lollipop instead.” The child explains, taking his big sucker out from behind his back and accidentally papping Vei in the head with it. Vei yelps in pain and rubs the spot where it was hit, sitting up in bed. “Well, i’m awake now.”
Commander comes into the room, sitting down on the bed with the enormous plush and the bag of chocolates Cal had picked out. The lion was almost as big as Vei. “Happy birthday, my galaxy.” He murmurs, watching his husband’s eyes widen and his paws make a grabbing motion. Handing him his present he watches Vei snuggle with it, a mess of purrs and kneading against the fluffiness of the stuffed animal. A feeling of pride swells up in his chest. He was glad his husband was satisfied. He gives Cal the bag of chocolates and Cal carefully sets them on Vei’s side, before bounding out of the room. He had better things to do, like play with his toy soldiers.
As Iddian watches Cal leave he shuts the door behind their child, returning to the bed and cuddling Vei and the giant plush Vei was kneading on. “Happy birthday Vei.” He purrs, kissing in between his mate’s ears. Vei smiles up at Iddian before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Thank you, my universe.” He replies, before burying his face back into the fuzzy animal.
They spend most of the day cuddling, save for Iddian making dinner and Cal bugging them to watch cartoons. They were a happy family, and hopefully would stay happy for many many years.
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nellie-elizabeth · 8 years
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Sherlock: The Lying Detective (4x02)
Okay. So. Anybody who has read ACD's short stories might be familiar with "The Dying Detective," a story wherein Holmes pretends to be grievously ill in order to catch a bad guy, and he doesn't clue Watson in on the plan. Going in to this episode, I knew that Sherlock would have a trick up his sleeve. How did it all pan out? Let's take a look.
Cons:
I have a lot of questions and complaints. To start with the briefest of plot summaries: Sherlock is in a terrible drug spiral, John is roped in to help him take down Culverton Smith, a very wealthy man who Sherlock believes to be a serial killer. In the end, John sees the video that Mary left for Sherlock, and realizes that Sherlock has "gone to Hell" in order to force John to save him, thus helping him to save himself. John shows up in time to stop Smith from killing Sherlock. John then confesses to the hallucinatory Mary that he's been seeing that he cheated on her emotionally for the last weeks of their relationship. Then there's a big giant twist, which I'll talk about in the "pros" section a bit later.
So. Problems. I have 'em.
I seriously want to punch Steven Moffat for the way he writes his female characters. It's gone beyond what I can in good conscience ignore. Molly gets like two seconds of screen time, as we see that she's been helping babysit Rosie. She also shows up to do a drug test on Sherlock and confirm that he's got weeks left to live if he keeps using at this rate. Then she's never there again. What a waste of a talented actor and a dynamic character. She has become nothing but a plot convenience, whose entire character is there to serve the emotional needs of the male leads.
Speaking of which, Mrs. Hudson was sort of a bad ass in this episode, as she cuffs Sherlock and stuffs him in a car to bring him to John, tired of his drug addled ways. This was a cool scene, but take a closer look: we later learn that Sherlock had predicted John's whereabouts and had told Mrs. Hudson to take him there. We also learn that Sherlock's entire emotional state is a long-con to "save John," so anything that happens to him while he's high is still all part of Sherlock's brilliant plan. We also get Mrs. Hudson saying that she's "not their housekeeper," but all she does in this episode is take care of poor baby Sherlock.
Irene Adler. You've got to be kidding me. She doesn't show up or anything, but she does send Sherlock a text on his birthday. This gives John the emotional catharsis he needs to tell Sherlock that he should grab the opportunity to go make out with Irene or something, since Mary's dead and John knows that chances don't last forever. Or something. My God, the forced heterosexuality is making my brain hurt. (As a side note, even Mycroft is given a female love interest in the form of Lady Smallwood. Can you not just throw us a bone? A tiny one? Nothing?) Irene literally, literally said that she was gay when we met her back in Series Two. I cannot believe they're still pulling this thing wherein she's supposedly attracted to women except Sherlock Holmes because he's just so awesome. Ew.
Mary spends the episode as John's hallucinatory guardian angel, constantly encouraging him to get back to his predestined life on Baker Street with Sherlock. It feels a bit like a slap in the face. Mary was never my favorite, and I thought a lot of the crazy crap she did was forgiven way too easily. But to have her in the story just to remind John that he belongs with Sherlock is just... it's just... oy vey. It's almost like saying "oh, that was a fun little experiment having a woman around to mess with our bromantic relationship. But Mary's gone now, back to business as usual!" And you have Mary herself giving John her blessing for this. And John "confesses" his affair to his mental delusion, so that we can see Mary smile sagely and tell John to go be the man she always believed him to be. This is just blatant proof that Mary's entire character arc, including most definitely her death, was there to serve the emotional catharsis of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. It's Moffat's woman problem all over again. Some things never change.
And John... John's actually kind of a bad person? I don't know how to feel about this. Basically, Mary's plan was to have Sherlock fall so deep into despair that John would come through for him. But the fact is, John didn't. He didn't come to save Sherlock until he saw the video and realized that Sherlock was putting himself in harm's way to get through to John. Here's my big problem with this: earlier in the episode, Molly Hooper confirmed, with John standing right there, that Sherlock would be dead in a few weeks if he didn't stop using. And John did nothing. He knew how badly off the rails Sherlock was, and yet he still beat him to a bloody pulp and accused him of killing his wife. These things can be explained by John's anger and grief, absolutely. But for him to actually follow through with being a dick? For him to actually leave Sherlock to his drug-addled fate? The fact is, John's not an idiot. He sees how bad off Sherlock is, he believes it to be the actual truth. He'd need to be an idiot to not connect Sherlock's current state with Mary's death and their estrangement. And John does nothing until his dead wife shows up in a video to let him know that Sherlock is basically killing himself for John's sake.
I'm sorry, but... what a dick. This is sort of explained in the emotional catharsis moment, where John and Sherlock talk about their hetero love interests (barf) and John says that Mary was wrong about him being a good man. He says he wants to try and be the man she believed him to be. But that's just not... it's not... it doesn't hold true with anything we've seen of John's character. He is a good man. We've seen that time and again. He's loyal and forgiving and brave and smart and all of those things. His behavior in the last episode and in this one comes across as completely out of character. It's like they turned him into a jerk so that he could have an emotional breakthrough about how he's a jerk. That's not good character development. That's a lazy backslide leading to a cheap payoff. This development is also, apparently, supposed to be so that Sherlock could realize that John was "only human." I take it this was supposed to be a clever inversion. We've been so focused on how John views Sherlock, that we missed how Sherlock views John as this morally upstanding, untouchable god of goodness. Interesting in theory. In execution? Weak sauce.
Sherlock Holmes is always going to be a million steps ahead of everybody else. This is what makes a Sherlock Holmes story. I get that. In fact, this episode pulled it off successfully when Sherlock shows up at John's therapist appointment, having arranged to be there a full week before John even made the appointment. This was clever, and showed off Sherlock's deductive powers. The whole idea of going in to a drug spiral and using it to save John is also okay. But what I can't abide? He's drugged to the gills and being kept in Culverton Smith's grasp. At Smith's request, he says "I don't want to die" several times, actually choking up and starting to cry. We later learn that not only did he swap out his IV with saline, so that he wasn't actually being killed of an overdose, but that he also had a recording device placed in John's walking stick, because he somehow deduced that John would leave it as a parting gift for him, and that this would be how he'd catch Smith's confession on tape.
Nope. I'm sorry, nope. The whole thing works better if Sherlock actually does lose control over his faculties. I wanted him to be in actual, real danger of dying due to his drug use, not just the fact that Culverton decided to suffocate him. Sherlock was pretty messed up all episode due to his drug use, but at the end we learn that his actual plan went off without a hitch. Which is... pretty lame.
Lastly, we've got Culverton Smith, the villain who ended up coming across as even more of a cartoon than Moriarty. He was creepy, sure, and there were a few really great and chilling moments, like when he's messing with the corpses in the morgue. But in the end he's just a standard ego maniac who confesses to all of his crimes once the Great Sherlock Holmes takes him down with an elaborate plan that nobody else could have put into motion with such perfect ease. It's a little bit of a letdown. I thought this guy was going to be the real deal.
Pros:
Oh boy. I had a lot to complain about. One of the most difficult things about this damn show is that right alongside all of these legitimate and very serious complaints you have... off-the-charts incredible acting.
Benedict Cumberbatch gave an insane performance as Sherlock Holmes. Last week, I thought he was a bit hokey when playing high, but this week he was on it. My God. I really don't even know what to say about this. I won't bore you with too many examples, but just... the look on his face as John tells him he killed Mary, and then the look on his face later when John takes it back. The unbalanced, out of sorts way he deals with Faith Smith (Culverton's daughter... I'll get there in a minute). I think my favorite bit was his breakdown when he tries to attack Culverton with the scalpel. That was pure unadulterated panic on his face. He was scared and confused and I really don't think that level of animosity was in his original plan. Sherlock spends an entire evening with Faith Smith, and later meets her and realizes that the whole thing was a hallucination. (Sort of. Discussion of plot twist is forthcoming). His reaction when he realizes just how far gone he is... wow. Sherlock needed to let himself fall out of control for the sake of the plan, but I think even he wasn't anticipating it to go this far.
I mentioned how annoyed I was by Mrs. Hudson's service in the plot, but I do have to mention she was a total bad ass. She turned on the tears to get John to agree to see Sherlock, kidnapped Sherlock, held him at gunpoint, shoved him in her car... which is an awesome sports car, by the way. She also called Mycroft a "reptile" and kicked him out of her home, which was just beautiful in like twelve different ways.
Sherlock and John's relationship. Okay. So. It annoys me that Sherlock was so many steps ahead of everybody. And it annoys me that John wasn't going to save him until he learned it was a plan. It annoys me that they talk about their female love interests in their one and only intimate scene together. But my God. That scene. Sherlock is timid and apologetic and everything else in between. He desperately doesn't want John to leave, and John makes it pretty clear that he's only there because he has to watch Sherlock and make sure he doesn't get high again. There's this moment when John gets up to leave, and Sherlock asks "are you alright?" He's not saying it because he thinks he should. He's saying it because he really, really needs to know the answer. Everything he's been through, all the pain and the drugs and all that, he was doing because he wanted John to be alright. In this moment, he just wants to know if his plan was worth it. John breaks down, after talking to Hallucination!Mary for a moment, and then. Then. Sherlock Holmes gets up and holds John while he cries. He rests his head against John's and just cradles him. It was just the perfect moment and even if the lead-up to it had its problems... wow. I'm so grateful I got to witness that.
We've arrived at the last thing I need to talk about: the plot twist. Which was actually sort of several plot twists nested within each other. Everybody has been waiting for the secret Holmes brother, Sherringford. Mycroft actually brings up the name multiple times. We still don't know who Sherringford is, though... unless it's a code name meant to represent Eurus. Eurus Holmes, the East Wind... Mycroft and Sherlock's secret sister. Not only is she a secret sister, but we've actually already seen her. Three. Times. She's the girl on the bus that John had been texting with back when Mary was still alive. She's "Faith Smith," the woman who spends an evening with an extremely high Sherlock Holmes. Turns out, not a hallucination after all... just Sherlock's sister. And finally, she's John's therapist, a woman who sits across from him and listens to him talk about himself. As the episode ends, Eurus reveals the truth to John, and then points a gun at him, holding him hostage.
Eep! These little shits have been planning this for so long. Sherlock talks about the "East Wind" back at the end of last season, and how Mycroft once used it as a scary story to frighten him. And we all knew something was fishy about that woman on the bus. And when Sherlock thought he'd hallucinated a whole person, something seemed wrong about that. And then suddenly John's new therapist... just... wow. We're all culpable, because we all (or at least most of us) didn't see it coming. This woman was in last week's episode, and she was in this episode twice, playing two completely different characters, and I didn't notice it was the same person. That's... really impressive. Not only from the actress, but from the script and the care it took to make these people blend in. Sherlock saw "Faith" through a haze of drugs. John interacted with his therapist across an emotional and physical divide that made him never truly looking into her eyes. I cannot believe John was having an emotional affair with Sherlock's sister. I cannot believe John is being held hostage again. How many times does that make it? I can't believe that Moffat used his disgusting and unfortunate trend of setting women aside in the narrative in order to trick us into ignoring the answer that was right in front of us. It was... brilliant.
I'm forced to admit that this plot twist did a lot in making me come away from the episode with a positive impression. I can't wait to see how the newest Holmes sibling shakes things up. Apparently this is what happens when somebody as brilliant as Mycroft or Sherlock truly goes over to the dark side. It should make for an interesting finale.
My concern, going in to our last episode of Sherlock, maybe ever, but at the very least for several years, is that there's really no way to wrap up all of these dangling plot threads. What about all the ominous hints we've been getting about Mycroft's death? If he does die, will there be enough time to handle the fallout? And what about Moriarty? Is he tied in any way to Eurus, or is this another dangling thread? I feel concerned about what they've taken on, since this show has never been super great at wrapping things up to anybody's satisfaction. We'll have to see how it goes!
7/10
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”K”
It’s 4:42AM and all I could think about is him.
I’m a girl who likes a boy. Some people might think it’s normal but let me tell you what, I’m a bisexual girl who happens to like a gay friend this time. Yes, gay. Not that unobvious gay but a vey feminine gay one. It’s just weird because I am strongly attracted to women (I’m a bisexual who prefers women tho, just needed to point this out) and then there goes this sweet human being entering my life.
What makes it weirder is that he’s a good friend. He’s within my social circle and then one day I woke up and started to realize... wow, he is a very special person. He deserves all the love in the world — even mine.
I had a lot of boy crushes recently, looks like November to December is my boys season but then just this late November, I started to lose interest with all of them and all my attention went to this one person, K. It started when we both placed our hands on an event our school is preparing for, he was assigned to be a host of some programs, I was assigned to be a judge on one of the acoustic session programs.
He is very humorous. He has the wit and the glow in his aura that makes you smile whenever you see him around (I’m sure it’s not just me!). He is a lowkey person but I don’t know if he knows how much people appreciates him. I can say that because I remember him winning a landslide votes during our student council elections about a year ago that even the supporters of our opposing party voted for him as the treasurer. Wow, I’m proud. He deserves all that support.
Gays are mostly (not all) very fiery, yah? Very explorative, very flirty (at least most of my gay friends are) but he is different. He is very vocal about his admiration for men, his amusement of the same gender but I know he is a person of principles and respect. He knows how to flirt around but he also know the limits of his actions, he just don’t go down that easy and get clumsy or careless when hormones take over your body (iykwim). He is very family oriented, very diligent, hard working, fun, caring. He always smiles at everyone even if he is struggling behind all of it. Jesus, why do someone as wonderful as him deserve the cruelty of the world?
It’s true that everyone have their own struggles in life, I won’t take that away from him because I believe he can get through all of it and I know he can and it’ll build him and make him better and stronger but all I can wish for is for God to keep him strong at all times. Life is shit but we’re shitter, we should always win. lol.
Sometimes I don’t understand myself either. Isn’t that when you like someone you should be jealous? I kept my feelings for quite a while from him because I was trying to assess if it’s necessary for him to know (especially that he is my friend) and during those times, he has been sharing his crushes, chats with others, he danced to a colleague because they were drunk and stuff like that and I don’t get hurt (should I?), I just find it so adorable and funny because oh look at him, he’s being entertained, he is exploring, he is socializing, I don’t really mind as long as he is fine and good, as long as he doesn’t get harmed.
Our friends always ask me if I get hurt, the honest answer is no. Ever since I liked him, I already conditioned and grasp the whole idea that there is no chance, he is more feminine than myself, he is gay and I am not what he wants and that’s fine. I came here to let him know someone appreciates him, someone out there is being inspired because hello, K, you probably have no idea how wonderful you are so let me remind you about it. I don’t need to be appreciated in return, I don’t live for that. He is not obliged to reciprocate too because admiring him was my choice, not his, it’s not like he ordered me to admire him that he has to pay back, no. He is just too wonderful not to be appreciated. I always tell me friends, “what is not to like (in him?)”
He’s softhearted, hardworking, witty, happy, family oriented, trustworthy, honest, charming. He’s perfect if people will only take a look. He’s more than the cover of his own book.
That’s probably all I can say for now. I just appreciate every time I get to spend time with him (with our friends) and the little things he do. I know he might feel awkward at times because I’ve been vocal of my admiration for him lately but I know he’s trying to act casually to not make things badly weird and awkward, I appreciate that. I hope he stays happy. :)
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