#(i promise he won't kill anyone that doesn't deserve it)

[toomanyplotbunnies-sendhelp]

Hello and welcome to Day 20 of "Let's Explore My Plot Bunnies"

Before we dive into the next fic idea I have, I wanna announce that I will continue this "Let's Explore My Plot Bunnies" thing till I hit 31 days. After that, I will probably make a poll or something to choose which fic I need to focus on first to write - this way, I actually get to write something out of the ideas I have. (And this makes it easier for me to prepare more ideas after I finish the 31 days, too - expect even more crazy ideas from me after that)

As for today's plot bunny... well, stay with me while I try to explain it.

Firstly, this is another MHA crossover. The other is "You are my Prize in Viwefinder" or the Finder Series. (I know that those who know the series are already like, "Wtf?" but stick with me for a bit)

The title is "Adoption is also part of the Family Business."

The story starts with Inko and Hisashi dying in a villain attack and leaving a 7 years old Izuku as an orphan. Izuku is a smart boy and knows that with his quirkless status, he will probably die in the orphanage since the living conditions for people like him are... missing, for the lack of better words. Nor are people all that interested in keeping Quirkless people alive anyway. So, Izuku runs away and lives on the streets for 2 years before he gets into an altercation with a more... deranged street-resident.

The altercation ends with Izuku being stabbed in the abdomen. In a moment of true panic and fuelled by his desire to live, Izuku unlocks a fire Quirk that ends up burning his aggressor to a crisp.

While Izuku is still trying to comprehend what happened, Asami Ryuichi, one of the most (if not the most) powerful and influential yakuza in Japan (who is a business man by day), who saw everything from the moment the altercation began approaches him. Izuku, while still on high alert and full of adrenaline, looks at Asami once and snarls at him, telling him to "fuck off" before collapsing from his blood loss.

Asami, intrigued by the fact that the child didn't even try to ask for help and instead cursed at him, takes Izuku with him and places him under his personal doctor's care. (And, of course, tells Akihito about the incident, too, because Takaba Akihito (Asami's husband) saw blood on Asami and wanted to know what happened)

Asami, being who he is, tries to find any information about the kid and once he finds out that he is an orphan and (supposedly) Quirkless, Asami is even more intrigued.

Meanwhile, Izuku wakes up to an unknown room with Akihito and the doctor in the room watching over him. Although confused and in pain, Izuku is still on high alert and doesn't fully trust the two, but he is willing to cooperate so he can heal faster.

Needless to say, Akihito ends up liking Izuku a lot. The kid's sarcasm is amusing and, despite putting on a tough exterior, Akihito can see clearly that Izuku was hurt in more ways than just physical. The kid is too hesitant to accept help and when Akihito ruffles his hair, Izuku looks like he was expecting it to hurt rather than soothe him. Akihito's heart hurts just by looking at the little 9 years old kid.

And so Akihito gets an idea and asks Asami if he can adopt Izuku. He and Asami can never have biological children - and that is fine. But adoption is also an option, and Akihito got attached to the kid already. Asami thinks about it and ultimately agrees since he is intrigued by the kid as well. A child in Izuku's situation would have cried and begged for help. But instead Izuku took just one look at Asami and said "fuck off" without even flinching. (Asami's gaze makes full-grown adults shrink, but Izuku met it head on and didn't even blink)

And so Izuku finds himself adopted by Asami Ryuichi and Takaba Akihito, and slowly opens to them as well, later on fully accepting them as his parents.

Years later, Izuku attends UA as a General Education Student. UA has the best general education program in Japan, and Asami only accepts the best for his son. Izuku is accompanied by Yamada Itsuki, Izuku's chosen retainer. (Look, his father said he either chooses one himself or he will choose for him, so Izuku just did what he does best - helped someone that was in a bad situation and Itsuki chose to follow him)

UA will have a lot of things in stock for Asami Izuku and Yamada Itsuki, which include but are not limited to: meeting a former childhood friend (bully); villain attacks; creating strong bonds with his new classmates; a high amount of planning and scheming (because of the villains); high levels of competence from Izuku as a leader; Nezu meeting his match in Izuku; and so many more. (Aizawa and Present Mic are not paid enough to deal with all this - especially since Asami Izuku is like a mini-Nezu... God have mercy on their poor underpaid souls)

Other details:

Bakugou Katsuki doesn't recognize Izuku from the get-go since Izuku changed a lot from the scrawny little kid he knew. Plus, Izuku is now an Asami, not Midoriya.

Izuku knows how to use a gun. I really just love the idea of Izuku with a gun.

Izuku gets therapy. A lot of it. He is in a way better place mentally by the time he is in UA.

Izuku calls Asami Ryuichi "Father", while Takaba Akihito is "Dad".

Itsuki is like the most loyal person you can imagine. I am pretty sure if Izuku wants someone dead, Itsuki would just ask if their death should be quick and painless or slow and full of suffering.

Both Izuku and Itsuki are trained by Asami himself. They, even without their Quirks, can kill someone with their bare hands.

I really wanna explore the Yakuza world in the Era of Quirk in this. Like how much is changed from before the Quirks started appearing. Or what is the relationship now between Yakuza and the Police? Are they still enemies? Or, are they more on a Grey zone with each other as long as the Yakuza don't do things that can be visible to civilians? Does the Yakuza help the Police is some cases? It will be interesting to explore this.

Because Izuku is in Gen Ed, Shinso Hitoshi is in Class 1-A.

Speaking of class 1-A, I still want Izuku to be the one that tells Shoto he is stupid and that his power is his.

But Izuku (and his entire class) don't participate in the Sport Festival. This means Izuku tells Shoto that without fighting him at all. And, honestly, I kinda like it this way more. Like, there shouldn't be any need to fight someone to the death (seemingly) just to tell them something like this. Especially if you know how to hammer the information in their heads just by using words... and Izuku knows how to use words.

I literally have Itsuki written down as "Simp" in my notes... which means Itsuki will probably be very much thought as "Izuku’s boyfriend" by everyone who doesn't fully know the two. (At this point I am more convinced that these 2 have a more queerplatonic relationship than a romantic one)

And this is kinda it for this plot bunny.

So, what do you think? Good? Bad? Let me know! I am really interested in what you guys think about this.

I hope you have a great day/night. Take care of yourselves. (Don't become sleep-deprived like me)

See you tomorrow,

-TooManyPlotBunnies-Send Help

[calisources]

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.

All sentences here were taken from different media about possessive love, the thrill of the chase, banter, and competition regarding one's affection. Some have foul language so please beware but most are fun, banter, possessive fun. All of these are made for roleplay purposes. Change names, pronouns, locations as you see fit.

I love you. You’re mine. I’ll kill any bastard who tries to take you from me.

I spend a quarter of every day inside you. 

I have never said this to anyone before.

But the idea of you with child is the most insanely arousing thing I’ve ever imagined.

Your belly all swollen, your breasts heavy, the funny little way you would walk … I would worship you. I would take care of your every need. And everyone would know that I’d made you that way, that you belonged to me.

You want to be free. You also want to be mine. You can't be both.

We can't possess one another.

Just because I can't have you right now, doesn't mean I'm okay with him having you.

I will be good to you, Myst. Please, I promise.

You are mine. And I protect what’s mine.

Of course I won't go alone. I shall take my maid.

No.You will take me.

The purpose of a knight is to protect. Why won’t you let him do his job to me?

I want you all to myself.

I can’t explain to you the joy I feel knowing it’s all mine. That you are all mine, that your body is all mine.

There is something in me that wakes up when I want something, a possession.

God knows he deserved you more than I do. 

Listen well, for you belong to me.

Good grief, you’re such an adorably greedy person.

And when you fall in love with her  just keep in mind that she’s mine. 

 She’s more than you could handle, anyway.

That almost sounds like a challenge.

I don’t need your permission to do anything.

Your hands will touch me and no one else, Meadow. That is final.

You chase off every man that’s ever been interested, and you do it without even trying.

You reject every suitor and yet, you keep entertaining me. I believe you want me too, and you are dying to be touched.

I don't own you, you just belong to me.

You’re my gold, your cunt is my liquid gold. 

I will have your mouth, you will give it to me. Then I will have your spirit, Circe. I will own it. Always.

By the gods you have never been more beautiful than you are right now, spread before me, wrapped in my wool.

Once I take you, you are mine. My woman. No other man can have you.

I do not belong to you, or to anyone else. I will talk to whomever I want, whenever I want.

Not if it’s some ass who thinks he can put his hands on you.

You didn’t have a problem with me acting like a caveman last night.

When it comes to you… I don’t like to share.

Most men prefer to do the eating.

Do you know what passion is?

Most people think it only means desire. Arousal. Wild abandon. But that’s not all. The word derives from the Latin. It means suffering. Submission. Pain and pleasure, Nikki. Passion.

You’re wearing my colors, love.

I’m going to put you on your knees, Ruby. You’re going to hate how much you love it.

He is my king, he is my warrior, he is my husband and I am proud to say above all… he is mine.

You have rare beauty the like I have never seen but you will be more beautiful heavy with my seed.

You are my golden queen. You are my tigress. You are my Circe. 

Never will I allow your gold to be taken from me. Never. Understand this, Circe, and never forget.

Maybe I fell in love with a version of him that didn't exist.

 I would have you right here if you would let me. Fear you? I exalt you. 

You could burn me a thousand times, and I would still want you for my own.

Everything has a price. The price, however, isn't always money.

You’re my scariest hell, You’re my perfect paradise.

Well, I admit my crib is pretty sweet. But a gold cage is still a cage, Harry.

I intend to the last. 

If I win, then you shall be mine. Tonight.

You are so sure of yourself.

The game is simple. The women run, the men chase. If you catch the one with your color. . .well, that’s up to you.

But women have been running all their lives, most men don’t catch that easily.

We are in a maze, lost, and your hand is up my skirt.

Aye, but I don’t hear any complaints. The maze will hide our secret.

[brucewaynehater101]

About Tim's kill count: I think Tim tries really hard to be okay with murder. He's accepted that's something other vigilantes do, that sometimes it's the most practical answer. He knows that self defense is a thing, when it's you or them... Well, no one can be blamed for choosing themselves over a villain. He is the smart, logical Robin. He can be rational about murder. Stars know someone has to, and B is too much of an emotional mess when it comes to that particular subject.

So when Tim has to blow up Ra's bases, he tries really hard to be okay with it. He gave them a three minute warning (it's not much, but he knows how fast they are), so technically it's not like it's his fault if they decided to stay. He had to do it, it wasn't even just self defense, he had a civilian hostage to take into account. It was the only logical solution that allowed him to save Batman too. So yeah, he knows his reasoning was completely sound despite the circumstances. Honestly, he deserves Kudos for not losing it considering the amount of stress he was under and the fact he nearly died and lost an organ.

So yeah, he is pretty sure he's okay with it. He knows that if Batman ever truly catches up un his RR reports of that time he's not gonna be happy. He figures he can deal with that (he can't, he can barely deal with his own guilt. Deep down he knows he'll collapse like a wet napkin).

But instead of Batman the one to confront him is Jason having heard from Talia or finding the evidence on an outlaws' mission. And Tim is relieved because this should be easy. Not only is he a master manipulator: Jason is okay with murder, extremely emotional and still feels guilty about Titan's Tower. He's not even on talking terms with B. Tim has the upper hand in this encounter.

Cue to Jason's pov and it's just so painfully obviously that Tim is trying to rationalize the guilt away. Jason doesn't know whether to acknowledge it (the kid looks like he needs to actually talk about it, sue him) or to let him be delusional for a bit longer. He isn't the biggest expert on healthy but that doesn't look like it.

Tim succeeds in getting him to promise he won't tattle to Bruce, and is really proud of himself for handling the situation. Jason is now panicking thinking about what would Bruce do if he finds out (Tim doesn't know the extent of Batman's reaction to Jason killing at first).

(I got a little carried away with the idea of Tim being convinces he's okay with murder and Jason, who is pro murder for certain people, seeing right through him like "Oh honey")

Oh!!! I've seen some fics that cover what would happen if the Bats found out about Tim's kill count or the bases, but I haven't really seen ones with dark/abusive Bruce.

Tw: abuse, murder

Here's what I'm thinking:

Jason is fantastic for being the first to find out. He'd be supportive, understanding, and non-judgemental. He'll have no moral issues with murder. Perhaps he could have some mental breakdowns on the fact his younger brother had to resort to that or the high number of deaths or that someone younger than him had to stain their hands (which could also lead into him finally processing Damian's kills as well), but he wouldn't have any issues with Tim commiting murder.

Then we contrast that with Dick. He doesn't blame Tim. He's fiercely protective of his brother and will beat up anyone who gives Tim shit for it. On the other hand, he does have moral issues with murder. He'd probably have an internal debate with himself. He wants to support Tim, but the kid killed so many people (in this AU). Tim killed in self-defense. Dick has a particular understanding due to his time as a cop, but his vigilante rules have always contrasted with his cop ones (not just killing. Breaking laws, how civilians are treated, who your "allies" are, and whether you can trust your coworkers to do what's right). He's devastated that Tim was in that position and blames himself (maybe even takes those deaths upon his own moral conscience).

Both of them love, care, and support Tim in this. They also have very different ideas about murder.

Tim is also trying very hard to deny to himself how much death is actually on his hands. He's struggling to pretend he's fine and trying to logically convince himself that the deaths are acceptable.

In this AU, Bruce obviously flips the fuck out and acts like a piece of shit. Feel free to hc how far he takes that shit.

However, this has important ramifications against Damian. Whatever his feelings are about Tim at this point, watching his father abuse a kid he adopted (and considers his own) for the sin of killing? For self-defense? What if Damian ever kills again? Would Bruce react the same? What if there was no other choice? Also, does this mean that his father will never truly love him? Will his past always be held over Damian's head? Will Bruce ever forgive him? Is his father's love conditional? To add on, Damian has complicated feelings about LoA as well. He'd need to process the extreme destruction Tim enacted against the LoA. Just Damian having mental breakdowns.

Cass's confliction with murder and her love for Tim could also be added into this. I don't know much about the arc where she becomes a villain, but that would add to her turmoil.

Now, Alfred is a confusing one. How dedicated is he to Bruce? Is this the characterization where he sasses the man, not so subtly hides his guns around the Manor, and will stand up to the man? Or is this the one who will follow Bruce's lead even if it means psychologically torturing his grandkid? Is he somehow both at the same time? Can the kids trust Alfred to protect them or choose them over Bruce?

Babs would be protecting Tim (and the others in their support of Tim) to the best of her ability. In my mind, she's chill about murder due to her dad being a cop and her working with murderers (like Harley). She'd run interference to protect Tim until Bruce finds out, and then she'd be trying to get him away from Bruce.

Anyways, I'd love to see all of the characters, their feelings/experiences, and the conflict expanded on.

[carto0ncritter]

Abusive fictional fathers - Robotnik vs. Stolas

I won't be talking about Coconuts here since he's not on screen that much, but know that I feel sorry for the stuff he's been through, poor guy

Robotnik ⮕ Scratch & Grounder

Like... he literally only created these two to use and abuse them and that's crystal clear

When I say Robotnik is an abusive pos, this is what I mean (and this is just some of the physical abuse, don't even get me started on the emotional):

...Okay, that last picture was the last straw. Robotnik's thrist for power has officially outweighted Scratch and Grounder's "value." He felt 0 remorse for throwing them into the lava. Keep in mind, he THOUGHT HE HAD KILLED THEM and DIDN'T CARE AT ALL. Thankfully they were fine. And no the fact that they're robots doesn't make it any less wrong

If you're willing to sacrifice your children for a powerful artefact, then I'm (NOT) sorry to say this, but you're a heartless pos and deserve to be held accountable for your actions. If I were in Scratch and Grounder's shoes, I would have ran the hell away right then and there and found home elsewhere

However, unlike with Stolas and Octavia, at least the narrative doesn't try to convince us that Robotnik loves his sons. Because if he did, he would have tried to change his behavior. Or better, he wouldn't have abused them IN THE FIRST PLACE! AT ALL! No matter what he had gone through! I'm not denying that his mom was a pos to him just like he's a pos to scratch and grounder, but i refuse to see this as an excuse. he should have tried his best to break the cycle of abuse

*sigh* Now I've gotta talk about that stupid bird man... let's just get this over with.

Stolas ⮕ Octavia

Stolas is shown to have been there for Via in her childhood. although we never see them bond over anything, connect emotionally with each other or spend quality time together, we've only got this one nightmare scene. this was the only time stolas was shown to care about octavia

He did his best to calm her down and make her feel safe, then proceeded to break his promise for a booty call. For a childhood "friend" that his father bought for him 25 years ago.

And you're telling me how Stolas didn't realize that bringing Blitzø along in Loo Loo Land is uh... a bad idea that will make his daughter feel even worse?

I HATE the excuse that Stolas was "just clueless." Because anyone with the tiniest bit of common sense would come to the same conclusion: flirting with your booty call in front of your daughter who is a minor and going through emotional hell that happened because you cheated on her mother makes you a horrible and selfish father.

Even worse is that Stolas doesn't learn his lesson and once again neglects Octavia. Stolas is too busy hating his ex wife and gushing over his abuse victim that he can't even be bothered to look for his daughter himself, and instead Loona has to be the one to go find her. And then she literally tells Via how her dad's trying his best and how she should cut him some slack. No. No she shouldn't. Octavia was right to think that Stolas hates Stella more than he loves her because that's what his actions show.

He can hug her all he wants and promise to do better but he has done nothing to even TRY to be better for this poor girl.

Not to mention that Loona is a hypocrite. Blitzø has always been doing his best to be a good dad to her, and she thanks him for saving her life by being a complete bitch. It's been five. Fucking. Years. Of unconditional love and support from Blitzø's side. And what does he get in return? A kick in the balls. Blitzø also got beat up by her and hit with the "if I'm so terrible why don't you replace me" after he rightfully called her out and you're trying to tell me Blitzø was the one in the wrong and how this isn't abusive huh ok then whatever ya say

I won't talk about the upcoming episode much. I honestly just don't have the strength anymore. But to make it as short as possible, Stolas is gonna be treated like an uwu poor sad gay boi and once again choose Blitzø, the guy he r*ped, over his own child.

If you check out the leaked story boards for s2 ep12, you'll see how disgusting it is that Via is spitting nothing but facts and yet she'll be demonized by the writers, Stolas lovers and Stolitz shippers. Just...

Please stop lying, dude. Just stop. You shattered her entire life and neglected her for a guy you abused and never got to know on a level that's deeper than sex. No wonder Via thinks he doesn’t love her anymore. The line above gives me the same vibe as THIS line also they made Stolas not only ACT like a guy who victimizes himself but LOOK that way too

STOP LYING. JUST SHUT UP.

I hate this self-pitying hypocrite sm.

And yeah, I get it: he was put in an arranged marriage (this was clearly a retcon, but whatever floats viv's boat) despite being gay and was sheltered and never had friends, but those are explanations for his behavior, not excuses.

Oh and, to anyone who thinks otherwise: Emotional neglect is a form of abuse.

Closing Thoughts

One important thing that I noticed with both Scratch and Grounder and Octavia, is how none of them feel at home with their fathers. A reliable way to know whether you've failed as a parent or not is to see how your behavior affects your kid(s). How does your behavior make them feel?

Let's see here... *checks notes*

Octavia says how Stolas ruined their family, not Stella and in ep12 she's finally gonna call him out on his bullshit thank god. but unfortunately the toxic gay ship will once again be a priority because it's gay

Scratch and Grounder are terrified of Robotnik's wrath, he constantly makes them feel useless and unwanted, but at the same time, they have no problem betraying him both of them always come back to him, just like how Blitzø doesn't leave his abuser because he wants to feel "loved" and "needed" for once even though Stolas treats him like shit

So yeah, if you made your kid(s) feel this way, you've officially failed as a father.

[gemini-sensei]

Oh Baby! | Jaime Reyes x Chubby!Reader

Fem!Reader ○ Fluff Headcanons

@sensei-venus this deserved its own post 💖✨️ Hope you enjoy it. Also, I could definitely do more of dad!Jaime if anyone wants that.

💙 When Jaime and Reader talk about having kids, there's no rush. No matter what his family may say or tease him with, he wants to be ready for a baby. Given his position as a superhero, he needs to have a plan. Needless to say, he was not ready and none of this was planned.

💙 Naturally, Khaji Da knows about Reader becoming pregnant before even she knows. At first, it keeps the idea to itself, gathering more scans over a few weeks before sharing its findings with Jaime.

💙 As soon as it tells him, he doesn't believe it. He's not ready, so he doesn't want to believe it, but as soon as Khaji starts listing things off, including Reader's changing vitals among other evidence. At this point, it's literally like 4 or 5 weeks into the pregnancy, so Reader has no idea - not even an inkling or feeling - of being pregnant.

💙 Jaime has no idea what to do with this information. Does he tell Reader? Does he wait for her to find out? He's truly at a loss and is not taking any "advice" from Khaji because it's the whole reason this is an issue. However, he ends up slipping up and telling Reader before he can even make up his mind.

💙 If you thought Khaji was protective of its host, it is even more protective of Jaime and Reader's unborn child simply because it knows that Jaime would be devastated if anything happened to them or to Reader. So Khaji is constantly wanting to be near Reader so that it can monitor her and the baby's vitals and well-being. Who needs doctors who went to medical school for several years when you have an alien weapon willing to do all that work for free?

💙 In all seriousness, though, Khaji Da would kill if anything happened to Reader and the baby (I mean, Jaime would too, damn his morals because that's the love of his life, the mother of his child, his whole world, I could go on). No one is touching a single hair on her body. Hell, no one is going to look at her the wrong way. Basically, it's on sight if anything bad happened to them.

💙 Jaime is so awestruck when his baby girl is born. She's so chubby and has the roundest cheeks he's ever seen. He's so in love with her and is hard-pressed to let anyone hold her other than himself and Reader.

💙 His family adores her. When they get to meet her, they are talking to her and telling her how she's so precious to them and how much they love her already. She gets held by everyone at least once, except Milagro who is hesitant to hold her because she's so brand new; she's an 11/10 tía though. She's definitely the kind of aunt that is like "You can tell me anything and I won't tell your parents."

💙 When alone, Jaime cries pure tears of joy because of his baby girl. He loves her so much but fears that somehow he's going to bring danger into her life and Reader's life. He gives his daughter lots of kisses and promises to protect her no matter what.

💙 His family stays with him and Reader for the first week or two at home, offering a helping hand when they can. His mom literally can't get enough of the little one, and she takes on a lot of the work so Reader can rest and recover from the birth.

💙 Jaime loves sitting in a comfy chair with his baby girl on his chest, fast asleep. He will not move because just looks so cute drooling on him.

💙 By the way, this baby has some thick, pretty curls that you know she got from her daddy. She's so pretty and Jaime's camera roll is soon full of nothing but pictures of her and Reader, though it was at one point just Reader. He always has to have some pictures of them both handy because he just loves them so much and they're beautiful.

💙 This is his first baby, but I promise that it won't be his last. He wants at least one more kid, but he sees himself having a big family.

[ninyard]

how long do you think Kevin took to grieve riko fully ? Did he stop grieving jm public or in front of the foxes because they couldn't understand it or

Oh. Oh I don't think Kevin ever got to fully grieve. I've probably talked about something similar before but no, I don't think so. Not in front of the foxes, anyway. I think there were glimpses, maybe, moments where he broke and couldn't keep it in for just a second or two at a time. But he'd hide it well until he was alone.

Then there's David and Kevin, back in an almost empty hotel bar, black suits on and several drinks deep, and Kevin's been silent for a couple of minutes.

"You can cry," David says, and Kevin just looks at him, breathing like it's the only thing worth focusing on, like if his mind slips for just a millisecond he'll self destruct. "I promise it won't make how he treated you suddenly okay."

Maybe David tells him a story about his parents death - how he struggled with his grief, grief that came in short and intense and incomprehensible bursts. Grief that didn't make sense. Grief that felt shameful, or guilt-filled, or grief that felt like it didn't deserve to be felt. Maybe Kevin doesn't say anything for a little while longer, or maybe he starts to tell a story. It's hard for David not to feel disgusted, knowing what he did to him, listening to a fond memory of two 10 year old boys who just wanted to be famous, as if that was all that Riko was. As if this one memory, these two or three memories, were who Riko really was, as if it was who he could've remained to be. But I think maybe David puts the stories he already knows aside to give Kevin the space to feel these confusing and guilty and shameful feelings of being nostalgic and wistful for the man who almost killed him.

I think Kevin shares his grief in secret for that one night, a closed casket freshly burned into his brain, a rest in peace winning over a rot in hell. Just for one day, at least.

Maybe he shares his grief with Bee - again, that horrible, conflicting feeling of I know how bad he was to me and I know how he treated me. But I miss who he used to be. And maybe I don't think he deserved to die.

But maybe even still, with David, with Bee, he holds himself back. He can't let himself grieve how he needs to grieve because he just can't. He can't let himself think, "I miss him," when he hadn't thought that for a very, very long time, and only feels it now in fleeting moments after his death. He can't let himself believe, "I'm sad that he's dead," when he silently wished it upon him every time his healed hand cramped or hurt, every time the remembered pain flooded his fingers when he moved a certain way.

Kevin's grief with Riko is complicated. That was his brother. His first friend. His first abuser, his worst abuser. That was the person who ruined his life, that was the person who pushed him to be better and better until better became best. That was the person who nearly killed him, the person who held his opinion with such high regard it was deadly. How do you grieve someone that you were scared of, when death makes you think of all the times he swore he was keeping you safe? Or at least, pretended he was. Or at least, did so for his own personal gain. How does he grieve someone who everyones sees as a monster, who he sees as a monster, but who smiled a pre-teen grin his way and said it's you and me against the world.

I don't think anyone would understand. Or, he thinks so, anyway. He doesn't think anyone will get it. He doesn't think it makes sense, or that it's okay, or that he's allowed to feel these conflicting feelings about him. I think Kevin grieves on his own, and that makes it worse, in some ways. It makes it a much longer process to work through. It makes it a long time until he is able to come to terms with it all.

[desire-mona]

realising none of u have seen my writing before which is. a good thing probably. anyway i thrive best in letter writing format so here's a letter todd wrote to neil after he took a gun induced nap

(obvious tw for death and suicide and general grief adjacent feelings)

-

December 20th, 1959

Neil,

I’ve tried to write this about 7 separate times now, but I feel like I can never get the right combination of words to properly describe how I’m feeling. I don't really know why I’m writing this in the first place, I know you won't be able to read it. I guess I don't need a reason. I don't think I’ll be able to get it right no matter how many times I try, so forgive me if this doesn't make sense.

It's been about 5 days since you killed yourself passed and I still can't confidently say that it feels real. Mr. Keating got fired, Charlie got expelled, Cameron was behind all of it, and I can’t even bring myself to hate him for it. I'm angry, obviously, I’ve never been more furious with anyone in my life, but something in me knows that you wouldn't have hated him either. Things like that have been running through my mind a lot, I find myself operating under what I think you would’ve done, or at least wanted me to do. I hope I’m getting it right. I yelled at Cameron after he ratted us out, and it wasn't like those times before, nobody expected it of me. I like to think you would’ve been proud of me for that.

It's really quiet without you here, in ways that I didn't think I’d notice. You were never all that loud, which I appreciated, but even the small things being gone make me feel like I'm going insane. It's hard getting to sleep without hearing your breathing from across the room. Is that creepy? Sorry. Sometimes I open the window just so I can hear anything but silence. I usually just end up wondering how people can go about their days when someone so important is dead. How are people laughing and enjoying themselves when it feels like my entire world came to a screeching halt? How dare they continue with their lives without even acknowledging how much has changed? That’s about when I close the window, our the room starts to get cold after a while.

I'm trying to stay that more confident version of myself that you were helping me become, I could tell you liked a more outgoing Todd. I think he was buried with you, and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to dig him back up. I hope that’s okay, I know how patient you were with me. Thank you for that by the way, you were the first person to give me the time of day when it came to that. It was really special, I wish I had the chance to tell you. There are a lot of things I wish I had the chance to tell you, you were the only person I ever wanted to say things like that to. I'm really sorry that I never did, I realize now that it probably would’ve done you some good to hear it. God only knows how little kindness your father gave you, if I had known how bad it was then I would’ve you deserved better than that. You deserved a lot more than what the world gave you, I think we all do. No amount of sorry’s can fix that.

I miss being near you.

I miss you.

I miss having you around. I’d forgive you if you came back and told us it was all a joke. I wouldn’t be mad at all, I promise.

- Todd Anderson

[autistichalsin]

Maybe I'm just missing something here, and sorry if this sounds harsh (and I promise this isn't directed at anyone in particular, like, I still respect the differences of opinion here), but... why are we all working from the assumption that Halsin SHOULD care if Minthara dies?

Even if we roll with her actions to him being 100% the result of the Absolute, even if we suppose she NEVER would do it otherwise (pressing X to doubt), and even if we roll with the idea that Halsin has no reason to be scared of her, and even if we roll with the idea that Halsin's words here are motivated by hatred of Minthara and a desire for revenge and NOT fear for his life if Minthara stays in such close proximity to him?

Even then, SO WHAT?

Mind-controlled or not, she still helped torture Halsin and planned to massacre his home. Like- why should Halsin have to show HER kindness but not the other way around? What's Minthara offering HIM, exactly? Do we see Minthara express any sympathy for his suffering? No, because that's literally Minthara's character. She is incapable. Well, then, do we see her do the next best thing and promise she won't hurt him? Not even that! A vague "I fight against the Absolute now, I have no quarrel with you." That doesn't sound very sincere, now does it?

Why should Halsin have to be the bigger person and extend an olive branch to someone who very clearly is not at all bothered that he was tortured because of her? Maybe she only did it because of the Absolute, but she clearly doesn't care that he suffered, and that his Grove almost suffered because of her.

Why is it always on the trauma survivor to be the bigger person than their abuser? When does the abuser have to face accountability?

Sure, it would be nice to see Halsin extend still more of his usually-boundless mercy, but in this case? He's giving her more than she deserves, because notice-

Halsin never actually demands she be thrown out. He gives a choice- a choice to keep Minthara, and he'll go where he feels safe. (NOT with her.) If he was really being cruel, he would demand the player kill her outright. Notice that he doesn't even express anger or hurt when the player chooses her over him- in fact, he goes out of his way to wish them the best, say he's praying for their safety, and/or thank them for helping Thaniel. He isn't acting out of desire to see Minthara harmed- he is acting out of fear for his life if he stays near the person who had him tortured.

Halsin showing no ill will when the player chooses to save his abuser over keeping him around is already proof that he's a good person who is showing her more grace than she deserves.

[reareaotaku]

Miguel Rivera from Coco?

This request was asked years ago- I'm so sorry. Aged up +

👩🏼‍🎨You're an artist and love to draw all the people around you. You notice all the little things wouldn't notice, because of your attention to detail. That's how you noticed a boy.

👩🏼‍🎨 You saw him going into Ernesto's mausoleum. You look around to see if anyone else noticed, but it seemed everyone was to busy with their music. So, you decide to follow him. You catch him red handed with the guitar-

👩🏼‍🎨 You both fight for it, before police show up and you drop the guitar holding the guitar off. You had failed to notice the pedals that had flown around you, but you did notice how the police didn't notice you or the boy.

👩🏼‍🎨💀 He runs away and you quickly follow him, angrily yelling at him to stop.

👩🏼‍🎨💀 You both end up falling into a grave and his relatives see him??? Thankfully they were nice to you, even though they didn't notice you. You learned his name was Miguel, thanks to his dead family.

🩻 They [The family] brought you and Miguel back to the land of the dead to find out how to bring you back to the living realm. Miguel's great-great grandmother; Mama Imelda, was stuck in the land of the dead, because Miguel had taken her photo of the ofrenda.

💀 The skeleton guy behind the computer tells you that since Miguel brought you here, his great-great grandmother can send you back. You were thrilled, but Miguel was not. You both went back, but were immediately sent back, but this time he wasn't going to give up music.

👩🏼‍🎨 You didn't understand why he was being so reluctant, but then he compares it to your art [Based on the paint all over you] and saying how would you feel if someone tried telling you you could never create art again.

👩🏼‍🎨💀 You decided to help him find his great-great grandfather to get his blessing and are dragged all across the land of the dead. You have to avoid his family, so they don't take either of you back.

👩🏼‍🎨💀🦴 You both ran into a man named Héctor, who decided to help you both- Without knowing the full truth. Though he is not pleased when he does.

👩🏼‍🎨💀 🦴 You are both embarrassed when Hector calls you 'boyfriend & girlfriend' which you both adamantly deny. Hector puts his hands up apologizing.

👩🏼‍🎨💀 🦴 So, off you all are to find Ernesto to get that blessing, but you have to be quick, because you and Miguel are slowly becoming skeletons. Miguel promises that he won't let you die here and that if push does come to shove, he will take his great-great grandmother's blessing, just so you can be back and safe in the mortal realm. He doesn't want you being stuck because of him. You don't deserve that- At least, not to him.

👩🏼‍🎨💀🎸You are both surprised when Ernesto tries to kill you both. You had become close to Miguel in this time, after having spent so much time together and bonding over your love and passions. You wanted to help him. You didn't think it was fair that his family was trying to take away his passion because of something that happened a long time ago

🦴 Come to find out, Hector is Miguel's real great [2x] grandfather and that Ernesto killed him.

💀🦴 Miguel and Hector have a cute bonding moment. It made you really emotional, especially knowing what was taken. A whole family ruined because of a selfish man.

��💃🏼 You're all thankful when Imelda found you- Thanks to Miguel's dog- But she was not happy to see Hector

💃🏼 She takes you back to the rest of Miguel's family, who are happy to see you both in one piece. You may not have been apart of the family by blood, but you were now seen as one of them, especially since their descendent had brought you to this place. You were still surprised when she [Imelda] expressed concern for you and hugged you. Though she beredes Hector, but Miguel is quick to his defnese.

💀💃🏼 Miguel says he'll finally take her bless, but he has to find Hector's photo from Del la cruz, so he can come to the world of the living, but Imelda is still convinced he left the family. Miguel explains to her what really happened, but she's unconvinced and doesn't seem to care, still heartbroken about what he did.

🦴💃🏼 Imelda and Hector have a good moment together and while she says she doesn't forgive him, she's more than willing to help.

👩🏼‍🎨💀💃🏼🦴🎸🩻 There is a great moment where you go backstage. Imelda hits Ernesto for murdering the love of her life and trying to kill her grandson and you. You and the rest of Miguel's family chase him trying to get the photo. You and the rest are bombarded by security- But Imelda finally gets the photo, but is brought to the stage.

💃🏼 Imelda sings while on stage, while trying to give one of you the photo, but security is on her- not to mention Ernesto also catches her, making it hard for to give you the photo. He ends up snatching the photo from her, but she stomps his foot and is able to give it to Miguel. She finally gives you and Miguel her blessing, but changes the condition to remember how much her family loves her, until Ernesto grabs both you and Miguel.

🎸👩🏼‍🎨 Miguel ends up slipping from his hand, but Ernesto keeps a tight grasp on you and Miguel's spirt guard tries saving you, but Ernesto wasn't having it. He throws you towards the edge of the stage[?], before slowly cornering you to the edge, nearly causing you to fall. They all try and calm him down, but it's not working.

💀 Miguel sees the opportunity to turn on the camera and put it at you and Ernesto and everyone in the audience watches as Ernesto nearly kills you

🎸👩🏼‍🎨🐈‍⬛ You scream when he throws you off the edge and all that crosses your mind is that you were going to die- You nearly hit the ground when Imelda's spirt guide saves you after Miguel's spirt dog tries to. You are so thankful for that flying cat, you nearly cry.

👩🏼‍🎨💀💃🏼Miguel was the first to hug you and apologize when you're back on the roof. He would have kissed you if his whole family [and thousands of audiences] wasn't watching him. The rest of the family surrounds you, making sure you are alright.

🐈‍⬛🎸Imelda's spirt animal goes out, throwing Ernesto around before flying him through the air, before he hits a bell and hits his ultimate demise.

💀👩🏼‍🎨 You apologize to Miguel for losing the photo and telling him you can try looking for it, but it's too late. He's disappointed, but not mad, because you almost died. You grab the guitar and rush with him back to his place- After he follows you. There's so much going on that you end up getting pushed to the back. It's incredible when hearing Miguel sing to her and she responds. You almost feel like you're intruding on a family moment.

With the letters Coco kept, everyone realizes what Ernesto had done and Hector becomes famous, as he should have been. You and Miguel become bonded over the experience and eventually start dating, knowing no one would ever know each other like you know each other.

[the-ace-with-spades]

headcanons that have come from nowhere:

Phoenix and Rooster slept with each other at least once and said meh and moved on - they are bi besties

Hangman actually doesn't have daddy issues, he has 'my parents were emotionally neglectful and perfectionist' issues that he doesn't realize he has because he still thinks their behaviour and expectations were normal and deserved - he thinks love is conditional and tries really hard to meet those conditions even if they're unrealistic and when he thinks he can't, he acts out

he's also the youngest or second youngest child

Bob can't drive, as in, he doesn't even have a driving licence

Fanboy is the 'looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you' character type (have you seen the way he smiled when Hangman and Rooster were roasting each other in the bar? that dude is the dude)

pulling the papers thing was more complicated than 'I promised your mom' - Mav won't admit it to anyone but while Carole did ask him to keep Bradley from flying, he used it as a rationalization

Goose was from Tennessee (I'm not even American and I'd swear he seems like he's from Tennessee) and Carole was a NY transplant from Virginia.

Carole met Mav in a group home in Brookhaven - they were in foster siblings and kept contact after Mav aged out. He was the one to introduce Goose to her. Goose actually thought she was Mav's girlfriend at first since she was sending him a lot of letters

Slider and Ice's friendship is definitely a case of the extrovert adopting the lonely introvert

In fact, Slider's mom 'adopted' Ice as her second son when she met him in the exact same manner

Merlin retired earlier and there were a couple of years when Slider was flying with Mav

[nkn0va]

could i please request the investigation team girls with an s/o who ends up in the tv and the whole deal with his shadow is that he feels he isn't good enough for the girls. also maybe his persona could be samael. thank you

Persona will be unspecified for anyone else who wants to read. Also Samael is already in the game, that feels cheap to me.

Also sorry for not writing a request at all yesterday, had motivation/writer's block issues but we're back now.

Chie is quick to panic the moment she sees you show up on the Midnight Channel. It only gets worse when she immediately calls you and there's no answer. Safe to say, she doesn't sleep that night.

-The first thing she does at class is bring it up. The rest of the IT is very likely familiar with you already in some way or another, even if you're not one of them. Though from the looks of things that may be about to change.

-Her anxiety only gets even worse when her most dreaded moment arrives, meeting your Shadow. It quickly goes from dreaded to appalled when she hears what it has to say.

-You Shadow openly taunts you about knowing deep down you weren't good enough. You were so weak compared to Chie, she oughta ditch and find someone else not as sad and pathetic as you.

-You of course try to put up a strong front in front of your girlfriend and friends and deny your Shadow, leading it to transform and attack. Really this isn't the worst outcome for Chie, most other people would kill to literally kick their S/O's insecurities about themselves in the face. It's surprisingly cathartic despite the situation.

-To put a stop to everything, you need to confront your real feelings about yourself in front of everyone, regardless of how uncomfortable it is, and you're awarded with a Persona.

-As soon as you're out of the TV world and you're alone Chie immediately slaps you for ever doubting yourself like that. Partly out of anger and partly out of concern to get you out of that train of thought.

-She hugs you right after and promises that you are in fact good enough for her, and she'll do anything to make you see that. It won't be easy, but everything she's done for you today is at least a good start.

-Anxiety and worry immediately find themselves welling up uncomfortably inside Yukiko as she sees your Shadow on the TV, claiming to know a huge secret. What could you possibly be hiding from her?

-Regardless of her feelings of fear as to what that may be, she has to push on, considering your life is now on the line here.

-Her feeling of nervousness only gets worse and worse as the team progresses through the dungeon, and by the time they reach your Shadow her heart feels as if it's trying to escape.

-It's then that your Shadow reveals the secret it teased. It lays your feelings out plain in front of everyone, saying that you didn't deserve someone so perfect like Yukiko. You'd be better off just dying so that she could find someone better for her.

-So that was the secret. She has a few things on her on mind to share, but that can wait until your life isn't in mortal danger. She attacks your Shadow relentlessly, about to do her damndest to make sure it feels how much she really loves you, make it feel it so much that it burns.

-You eventually have to fess up how you feel, swallowing your pride in front of everyone. Hey, at least you get a cool Persona out of it.

-Once you're safe and sound back in the real world, Yukiko hesitantly confronts you, asking if everything your Shadow said was true. You have no choice now but to be honest. You ask her if she really thinks that you're enough for someone like her.

-She's equal parts flattered and concerned that you hold her in such higher regards than yourself to this degree. With a slightly embarrassed demeanor, she assures you that you are in fact enough to make her happy, and she'll do anything to make you sure of that too.

-The first thing going through Rise's head as she sees you on the Midnight Channel is probably something along the lines of "Oh hell no". Both in a fearful way and an angry way.

-Never before has she been so frustrated about not having a combat Persona. This is the one time she actually wishes to be out on the front lines fighting, however her Persona isn't specced for that much to her chagrin.

-Upon finally reaching you and your Shadow she's the first to warn you about it and try urging you to accept it. However this proves to be to little avail.

-Both of you are caught off guard as it spouts out your insecurities about your relationship straight to your faces, making some grim jokes about Rise ditching you and getting into a scandal with some other idol that isn't so much of a wimp.

-If Rise had the capability to slap your Shadow, it would've gotten launched out the window. Unfortunately all she can do now is support the rest of the IT to hopefully do that for her.

-She's demanding rather assertively for you to accept your Shadow. Despite how embarrassed you feel right now, there's no hiding from it anymore, and you have to accept those feeling as a part of you, giving your your Persona.

-Once you're finally back in the real world, Rise drags you out somewhere you can be alone with her and immediately traps you in a bone crushing hug on the verge of tears. She's calling you an idiot for ever thinking you're not good enough, especially when she makes it so clear how much she cares about you.

-Despite the slightly harsh words, you're her idiot, and she'd rather have no one else by her side. She doesn't let you leave her sight until she can say with confidence you're sure of that, too.

-Naoto is stunned upon seeing you on the TV. She just sits there, completely appalled as she watches you announce the revealing of some big secret it's about to reveal.

-Despite the situation she does her best to keep her cool. She's rather new to the team so no one knows who you are but once she explains you're her S/O they quickly realize the gravity of the situation and waste no time in jumping into the TV.

-She immediately asks Yu for her to be on the frontlines, wishing to take charge in this mission to save her S/O. He thankfully agrees despite her inexperience. She's more than smart enough to lead the charge, knowing the intricacies of your dungeon since she's the only one who knows you so much.

-They soon find your Shadow holding you hostage, seemingly expecting the group to show up. It's cool and collected, no sign of nervousness upon seeing them.

-It seems oddly intent upon breaking you and Naoto up throwing out all your insecurities for everyone to hear.

-She had been suspecting something was up for a while now, but not something this extreme. The time to talk about that was later though, there was a fight to be had. She expected you wouldn't accept these feelings were real right off the bat.

-Reluctantly and with a heavy sigh, you come to accept your Shadow and the unfortunate truths it speaks.

-Naoto, now armed with new knowledge, confronts you on what your Shadow had said. Had you really felt that you didn't deserve her? If anything she should be feeling that way. She knows her work prevents her from making as much time with you as she ought to, she was worried she hadn't been giving you enough.

-The two of you can finally be refreshingly honest with each other. If anything, your relationship is even stronger than before, finally knowing the depths of how much you two truly admire one another, and you both can feel secure in knowing that you feel the same way.

[deadbydangit]

Reactions of the Entity threatening their S/o's life if they don't do a better job in the trials? Maybe they've been slacking recently, even just a little. And the Entity threatens to kill to torture poor S/o if they don't do better :(

S/o still all over them they don't give af lmao

This with Ghostface, Frank, Trickster, and Knight please? Thank you <3

Oh, I like this one. Might use it for the future. Actually, I might do a whole story based on the last one. Please, enjoy.

Entity threatening killer to do better or Reader S/O gets tortured.

Ghostface, Legion (Frank), Trickster, Knight

Ghostface

First, he's going to be offended.

Him? Slacking?

No he hasn't!

Okay, maybe he's been a bit lazy.

Fix his camera and he'd do better!

It isn't his fault that it got broken!

Okay, it is.

But... Still fix it!

But when the damned sky octopus starts threatening you?

Oh boy!

He'll threaten the Entity back.

"Well fuck you, you piece of **** **** ****"

Very colorful words.

But when he realizes that's not doing anything, he's going to follow through.

Survivors have realized he's been a lot more brutal.

Many of the killers have too.

He won't tell them the reason.

Danny won't even tell you the reason.

He's seemed more distant lately, like he's afraid to touch you.

You're worried, but he'll assure you that everything is fine.

If anyone gets wind you're his weak spot, then who knows what kind of danger you'd be in.

He won't let anything stand in his way.

If it means stepping up his game, then so be it.

He won't let that fucker touch you.

He would never let anyone hurt you.

Legion (Frank)

The Entity gave him booze as a reward.

Lots of booze.

Lots and lots of booze.

And Frank has next to no self control.

So much that he's been going into trials with pretty nasty hangovers.

And he's getting sloppy.

Yeah yeah, he knows.

Just give him five more minutes of sleep.

But once the fucking Entity threatens you?

He's going to challenge the Entity to a fist fight.

That won't do anything, but it makes him feel like he got his message through.

He's right off the bottle.

You weren't sure what got into him, but you were pretty proud he wasn't drinking nearly as much.

But you were worried about how hard he was pushing himself in trials.

He's hurting himself.

He can only frenzy so often before it starts to take a toll on his health.

He's exhausted.

Confront him, and he'll tell you the truth.

He really doesn't want to though.

The rest of the Legion are all worried and have made a promise to start working harder.

Make sure to give him all your attention and love for a while.

Hearing what he's doing, all for you?

He deserves it.

Trickster

Yeah he's doing worse.

Entity dear you've cut off his moisturizer, foundation, eyeliner, eye shadow and everything else he uses to keep himself looking like the God he is.

Can't let the survivors look at him like he's one of the other heathens.

So yeah, he's doing worse.

Now he's being threatened? With you being hurt?

Ji-Woon doesn't take to threats kindly.

He's used to getting everything he wants with the snap of his fingers.

He isn't used to working for things.

But, for you, he will.

If that means you stay safe, then he'll suck up his pride and get more serious about his job.

No, he will not tell you or anyone else for his increased brutality.

He won't tell you why he keeps appearing with more and more bruises after trials.

He's a very stubborn man and will admittedly refuse to tell you anything about the deal he and the Entity made.

He's just been extra touchy with you lately.

It's easier to give into his demands for attention than fight it.

If only you knew the lengths he was going through.

But, in his eyes, he deserves that.

Knight

Accusing him of slacking?

Slander!

How dare the sky God dishonor him and his men!

They've been doing very well.

Unfortunately, the Entity's supply of food is for one person, and there are four of them.

Naturally, they have to share.

And, naturally, they're weaker.

You've offered to share, but they won't take food from you.

It's a whole chivalry thing.

But the idea of you getting hurt for his failures?

The Entity was dealing a dirty blow.

Tarhos, Alejandro, Durkos, and Sander will gather up all their remaining strength to protect you.

To serve Tarhos, their captain.

And, they have grown rather fond of you.

And it's obvious that, despite their weakened state, they are more malicious in trials.

They will not share why they're doing this with anyone.

But they're growing weaker by the day.

Tarhos can hardly stand anymore, let alone lift his sword.

And the truth will come out.

The Entity will have to cave eventually and provide them more food and supplies in order to keep them alive.

Make sure to give all of them the extra love they deserve.

They did all that because they truly care about you.

[torc87]

Ed's Apology to Izzy

Ok so I have been reading takes and am a bit... surprised? That people feel Ed's apology wasn't enough. Or wasn't sincere.

I mean, yes, his apology to the crew was bullshit. Utterly saying random words Stede told him to say. Safe space ship anyone?

But Izzy? No, that apology he meant.

Putting aside that he told Stede he never apologizes. So he clearly doesn't have much practice in it...

How exactly do people Expect hi. To apologize for taking Izzy's leg? Like, what would be enough?

Are we talking groveling and offering to shoot off his own leg/cut off his own toe? I mean, fun to read in fanfic but ...overblown and would read as overdramatic and self pitying. And kinda focuses way more on his own guilt and feeling better than actually you know apologizing.

Are we talking the proper apology formula? I'm sorry I did x, it was wrong, it impacted you y, I'll do z to ensure it never happens again/make it up to you by doing abc. Umm....how does anyone picture this going?

I'm sorry I cut off your toes and shot you which lead to you loosing your leg. It was wrong of me to do that and I promise to never do it again. I'll make it up to you.....somehow.

This ...this would sound absurd. Ed cut off Izzys toes. Izzy lost his leg. He can't make up for it and him saying he won't ever do it again is bullshit bc his word is grass and him acknowledging that it was wrong? There is literally zero ways I can think of that could both cover the enormity and also acknowledge something so obvious.

So what about saying 'i was a crappy captain to you, you didn't deserve it? You were doing your best.

Well, I think Izzy would benefit from hearing that Mr. Shark ate it and I deserved it but from an audience perspective? No duh he didn't deserve it, those things are so obvious it's crazy and I can't imagine Ed saying that w out choking on his guilt.

Which he basically did when he forced out that sad little 'sorry about your leg'.

Ed needs to sit w himself a Lot more to be able to acknowledge just how badly he fucked up as a captain. To be able to accept and face that he hurt people w out trying to get away from the guilt, like w letting Luscius push him overboard.

What about explaining his motivation?

I'm sorry I shot you, I was trying to kill myself and couldn't bear being loved.

Izzy knows! He doesn't need to hear that.

Ed, choking on his guilt but forcing out the words sorry as much as his inexperienced-at-apologies ass could - that's real.

There is No apology that can cover what he did to Izzy. It's way too big. How do you apologize for maiming someone?

Try to imagine apologizing for causing a car crash. You drove drunk and crashed and the other driver is in the hospital permanently injured. How do you apologize for something like that? Is anything enough?

You make changes to your own life, stop drinking/give talks/etc but how do you face someone after that?

You don't. You don't meet their eyes when you say sorry. You can't.

Ed looking away, looking down at the leg he cost Izzy, forcing an unpracticed apology through his guilt, that is sincere.

It's not enough, nothing could be enough, but it's real.

[annaofaza]

he who casts the first stone... (vashwood)

Now on a03!

In a motel room that's scarcely bigger than his old cell, Wolfwood sponges Vash's wounds.

Red drips sluggishly from the crown of his head, behind his left ear, just below his lower right eyelid, as Wolfwood plucks out the grit, as tiny and wayward as breadcrumbs, and splashes all the red he can see from the bottle a thankful mayor had pushed into Vash's hands only a week earlier.

He runs the damp cloth over another cut, Vash hissing lightly at the sting of alcohol.

"I don't understand, tongari, how you don't even raise your arms to shield yourself." He stops to pick out more grit. "You'll get hit in the head one of these days, and then where will we be? Hmm?"

"I'm all right," Vash whispers, as Wolfwood adds more alcohol to the cloth, presses it firmly on one of the larger gashes. 

"One day you won't be. If they come at you and tie you to a pyre, will you light it yourself?"

Vash gives an unconvincing laugh. "It's hard to kill me."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't welcome attempts." Wolfwood sighs, skirting another constellation of bruises, blooming like ink, sweeping towards his shoulder blades. Even with the coat, the gauntlets, the leather guards, they managed to leave their own marks. "Tongari, you scare me."

Vash closes his eyes. "I don't mean to, Wolfwood."

"But you do." Wolfwood sets aside the bottle, capping it with a short click. "You scare Meryl and Milly, and if Brad and Luida knew, they'd be scared, too. You have people who love you. Don't let anyone hurt you like this."

Vash doesn't answer. But the refrain I deserve it is palpable, and Wolfwood doesn't want to hear it. How many times does Vash feel will make things even again? Wolfwood knows the estimated toll of the Big Fall and JuLai, can only guess at the in betweens and now. Will the stones thrown eventually outnumber the stars?

He looks at Vash, bared to the waist, sheets strewn over his calves. He'd long pulled Vash's boots off, the complicated tangle of belts. His soles of his feet are almost as dark as the bruises, at odds with the rest of his body, painstakingly wiped clean, and Wolfwood reaches forward with the damp rag to complete his task. 

Vash sighs underneath him, as Wolfwood's hands work over the calluses, the the heels, the tops of his feet, skittering sand across the sheets, cloth turning into a rag of dingy gray and pink. His eyes slip closed, in a reverie of sensuality, as he slowly reclines onto the mattress, hands bringing Wolfwood's mouth to his left clavicle, scar tissue scraping his lips, holding him as tenderly as if nursing an infant. 

Sometimes Wolfwood calls Vash, repeating it several times to erase the harshness from it, the history. But tonight, all he can do is murmur tongari, tongari, the first nickname he'd given Vash, who he knows, as he mouths at every inch of Vash's skin, tracing over the wood and metal with his tongue. The wood scrapes and the metal grate is bumpy under his tongue, but he drinks it in. There are the scars that are carved into his skin like a canyon, bumpy as the roads stopped up with stones, jagged like a lightning strike.

He kisses those too, and he loves and loves and loves.

"Nicholas," Vash sighs in his ear, "Nicholas."

"Tongari," he murmurs, "look after yourself." I might not always be there. No, I can't even manage a half-promise. I will not be there, and you will pay the price. 

[restinslices]

Mortality

Jesper Fahey x Spouse (no gender specified) Word count: 2150 Summary: You and Jesper aged differently. You aged as any Otkazat’sya did. Jesper on the other hand is Grisha and ages much slower. As your mortality gets closer and closer, you and Jesper have a much needed talk. Wrote this on my phone at midnight😀

People could say a lot of negative things about Jesper Fahey. 

He was a shit gambler, a flirt, a drunk, he didn't think, he could be selfish at times, he could give you a headache with one sentence, among other things that could make anyone go in the opposite direction. 

But it was impossible to say he wasn't loving. Jesper held onto people and treated everyone like family, even when there were conflicts. There were plenty of times when you and Jesper would have a disagreement, yet he still looked at you like he'd both die and kill for you. Jesper could sometimes make promises he'd easily break for the right price. The promises he made to you though? There was no card game, no shiny gun, no heist, no amount of cash that could make him turn on you. 

Jesper supposed that's how he got himself to where he was now and honestly? He wasn't sure he liked it. 

Was it selfish to say apart of him wished you two never became something more or maybe that he never met you? Was it selfish to look at your aging body and wish he walked away and stayed away after The Ice Court heist? Maybe. He wasn't sure he cared though. 

Aging gave him a tap on the shoulder, but aging slammed into you. That didn't mean you were unattractive in his eyes, it just meant your body felt the stings of aging. Bad knees, hips, shoulder pains, wrinkles, all that was normal and expected. Jesper practically looked the same as he did when you two met. You were closer to death but he felt like the true ghost; forever stuck in a single moment. No changes to himself, only to his environment and the people around him. 

Or maybe even a time loop, but only for himself. Everyone else was free and moved on. Not him though. 

Jesper didn't realize he was staring until you said something, 

“A penny for your thoughts?”. 

“What?”

“You're staring”

“Oh” Jesper said with realization, “an accident”. Partially true. 

He smoothed out the blankets in front of him to distract himself but that worked as well as anyone would imagine. Your face was imprinted on his mind, and although Jesper could've just laid down and went straight to sleep, he knew it'd be all he'd see when he closed his eyes. 

Jesper heard you close and set your book down, then felt your eyes on him. 

“What're you doing?”

“Smoothing these blankets. They're quite wrinkly”

“Why?”

“Why? Why does anyone do anything?”

You sighed, “why won't you look at me?”

“I'm getting rid of the wrinkles on this blanket like I said”

“Because you can't get rid of mine?”. Jesper's hands stopped moving and he finally looked at you and another wave of sorrow hit him. Why did your inevitable death hit him so hard? 

Maybe it was because you were the last one left. 

Kaz, Inej, Wylan, Matthias, they were all gone by now. Matthias’ death was the first hit he received since his mom passed and as time went on the rest of his family, even if not by blood, passed on. Sure, he had Nina but Nina’s home was Ravka. Nina was more often busy than not and she was not the fondest of Kerch. Many times you suggested moving to Ravka for a “change of scenery”. He knew the truth though. You wanted him to get used to living somewhere else so he could be closer to Nina and not alone. You were the last consistent thing attached to his younger life and by some twist of fate, he'd be doomed to outlive majority of the people he met. He wondered if he did something awful in a past life to deserve this. 

“You've gone quiet again Jes”

He shook his head. “I don't know what to say”

“Too much on your brain? Don't know how to get it out?”. He assumed you took his silence as an answer because next you said “just say whatever, even if it doesn't make sense”. 

He took a deep breath then. It's not like you two hasn't talked about this before, but it was usually a small conversation that he'd slip his way out of with some dumb excuse. 

“I have something to do”. “I'm tired”. “Let's go eat”. “I have to go write a letter”. The list went on and on. This time though he couldn't think of an excuse and with limited time, he knew he had to speak to your living body now instead of a tombstone. 

“I don't think I'm ready to do this without you”

“Do what?”

“Live”. It came out breathy and quiet. He could tell he had upset you by how deep your frown was. Or maybe that was another sign of aging. He couldn't tell. 

“I can't do it”. 

“Yes you can”

“I can't”

“Jesper Fahey you can break into a Fjerdan Ice Court, escape, survive months at sea with Kaz Brekker, go toe to toe with every gang in Ketterdam and you still use the words 'I can't’?”. In any other circumstance he would've laughed and made some comment about how amazing he is. He didn't this time though. Nothing really felt enjoyable or funny anymore. Not when you could have some attack at any moment and be gone. 

“You're beautiful,” he said. “Absolutely stunning. I don't think I've ever seen anything as beautiful as you”

“There's the stars and sea yet I’m the most beautiful thing you've seen?”. 

He nodded. “Absolutely”. 

“Is that why you're with me then? My charming looks?”

“You could look like all things wrong with the world and I'd still want you”

“Jesper the poet? I think I like it”. Your fragile hand held his and your eyes locked onto his. “You can live without me-”

“I can't”. The tears he had been fighting so hard to keep away finally slipped. He didn't bother wiping them away, too scared to let go of your hand. “I wanna be able to but I can't”

“Why?”. 

“Why?”, he  repeated. “I just can't”. 

Your thumb rubbing over his hand soothed him for a moment, but only a moment. That calmness died when you spoke again. 

“If this is hard for you, you can go. You don't have to see me like this”

“Where would I go?”, he asked with furrowed brows and a mix of hurt and confusion etched on his face. 

You shrugged. “Ravka maybe? Make it your new home-”

“My home is here. With you”

“You'll have to find a new one when I go”. 

His hand slipped from yours, frustration building in his chest. It all sounded so easy but it was only easy because you were the one dying. You wouldn't have to feel another part of you ripped away. You wouldn't feel anything anymore. He would. 

He'd think about it almost everyday and a hole would form in his chest and pull him into this thick fog and within this fog he'd hear the future. He'd hear a heart monitor go flat. He'd hear your breathing become shallow before it eventually stopped. He'd hear his own crying. Yet you would come along and act as if everything was alright. You'd be calm and fine while he was breaking on the inside. 

“Jesper Fahey, I am going to die and there's nothing you can do about it”. 

“What?”

“Jesper Fahey, I am going to die and there's nothing you can do about it”. 

“Stop”. 

But you didn't stop. You repeated it again and again and he thought he must've been hallucinating and finally reached his breaking point. He covered his ears but you grabbed his hands and intertwined your fingers with his. You opened your mouth but he cut you off with a broken voice. 

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you don't understand you can't control this”

“I understand fully” he said quickly. “That's the whole problem. Can you stop being calm and show some sort of emotion for once?”

“What do you want me to do? To cry? To think about it and stress myself to a migraine like you do everyday?”. He hated how you looked at him then; with pity. It felt like with one foot in the grave, you'd always use the other to stay near him and soothe him and it made him feel selfish. “You wanna know how I feel?”. He didn't answer but you continued anyway. “I am terrified of death. Faith exists to calm us of this fear but honestly, I'm still scared. I don't know what's next. I don't know how it'll feel. I don't know if I'll see a light or if I'll be in darkness. I don't know how I'll go out and I don't know how it'll feel to take my last breath. I'm terrified but worrying about it everyday? That's not living. I'll be on my deathbed slipping away and all I'll think about is how I should've lived more”

“You are so stressed about me dying but honestly Jes? You're just making yourself live through the inevitable every single day. We should be loving each other now more than ever when we have the time. We're gonna get to my final moments and we'll both have regrets, the only difference is you'll have to live with yours”. 

Jesper couldn't help but let tears fall from his eyes. He knew you were right and that he should be holding you close during this time, but he couldn't help but listen to the tiny voice in his head that drove him insane everyday. Everyday was a reminder that for some unknown reason, he'd live much longer. Years would pass and he'd forget your face and always have to look at pictures or letters to remember you. One day he'd even forget your voice. How long would that take? 10 years? 20? 30? 

The more he thought, the more his breathing became erratic and his vision blurred. Blinking away tears didn't work. They'd just come back. You guided his head to your shoulder before your hand found its way to his back to rub circles on it. Jesper wasn't known to cry, but he cried. Hard. And you let him. When his breathing returned to normal, it wasn't because he was no longer sad. It was because he was exhausted. His eyes and nose had gone red by now and his face felt incredibly sore. 

When he quieted down, you spoke again. “I want to love you while I still can but if you don't want to see what'll eventually happen… I’m… I'm willing to let you go”. It was hard for you to say. He could tell because of how quiet it came out. Were you willing to? Probably. Did you want to? Absolutely not. He didn't need to ask or look at you to know. 

Jesper had a big choice to make. He stayed, spent the rest of your life with you and eventually buried you or he could leave and try to get a jumpstart at a new life. He wouldn't see age continue to eat at you and when your time came, he wouldn't be there. He'd be leaving you alone. He probably wouldn't know exactly when you died. Years would pass and he'd just guess that you were gone. 

Jesper was ashamed of how long it took him to make a decision. Leaving seemed so good. The pain of watching you continue to grow old would be no more, but then he'd be left with another pain; the pain of never seeing you again. Of knowing he abandoned you when all you wanted was to hold him close. You had no family and no notable friends besides him and Nina now. You'd probably be found and with no one to identify you, who knew what would become of your body in Kerch. A body with no name. And he'd become a body with no home. 

“I'm not going anywhere”. He finally lifted his head up to look at you and although he still felt that pang in his heart, he didn't look away and try to avoid your gaze. He just looked at you, mapping every detail of your face so he could look back and remember just how beautiful you were when you're gone. 

“I am so going to miss you”

“Of course you will” you said with a small smile and you finally got a chuckle out of him, even if it was small. 

You didn't have forever. You both knew you were on limited time and one day you'd be apart, but you both promised to love and cherish the time you still had together and maybe, just maybe, you'd see each other in the next life when the sun finally set on the both of you. 

I am feral for this man in the most wholesome way possible. Legit just wanna hold his hand and hear him talk about dumb shit.

[blorbingqls]

Blorbos From BL That Will Make Me Protect Them At EVERY FUCKING COST

so with the carnal list challenge, I think we can definitely make a list of blorbos that we would protect at all costs (and maybe have a challenge of who is the blorbest blorbo?) - so, less go

VegasPete from KinnPorsche

this scene says everything. if i can intuitively say, each one of us will have at least one of them on the list. we all know they are morally grey characters but something about them just clicks?! (i have read too many fics on AO3 on them to support my theories of KPTS 2)

WinTeam from Between Us

lord please kill me because of how feral i am about them.

SandRay from Only Friends

amidst the disappointment of the show's ending, i sort wanted them as end game but with more angst?!.

also, ps, if you really thought my carnal list and this list won't have any similarities? I am sorry but you're wrong. VERY WRONG.

Oh-aew from I Promised You The Moon/I Told Sunset About You

gays let me just go and cry 'cause i got reminded of the whole series and then him and i now need to have a box of tissues

Alan from Moonlight Chicken

something something about First Kanaphan's characters just makes me wanna go and kill everyone who hurt him

HeartLiMing from Moonlight Chicken

keeping the chaos of the whole show on one side, and their own little world on the other, I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY WILL POWER FOR THEM TO BE SAFE FROM EVERY POWER

also, this particular scene reminds of a similar scene from Manner of Death of ThatSorn?! (anyone??)

Tiwson from My School President

man was busy carrying the whole show with saving tinngun, soundwin, patnook and his imaginary ship with por - literally

(also this sweater and necklace is very much appreciated for its service)

Boston and Nick from Only Friends

I WANT A BETTER ENDING FOR THEM - NICK TO HAVE HIS OWN SELF GROWTH JOURNEY AND HIM TELLING BOSTON THAT HE CHERISHED THE RELATIONSHIP BUT THEY WERE NOT COMPATIBLE TOGETHER - I WILL REFLECT THEIR HAPPY MOMENTS ONLY BECAUSE THEY DESERVE HAPPINESS

Wat from The Eclipse

yes ayan and akk are equally there but him with understanding all coins deserves to be protected and treasured at all costs

PeteKao from Dark Blue Kiss

excuse me while i go and kill the society for hurting them

Fong from 2gether

man was too busy being the only braincell of this show - and this is where i'll mention about 2gether and no where else

Akk from Enchante

I AM SORRY BUT THEO DOESN'T DESERVE HIM - PLS GOD

Naa from Tonhon Chonlatte

YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THIS THAT NA WAS TOO BUSY CARRYING THIS WHOLE SHOW AMONGST THE TOXICITY AND I SCREAMED WHEN THE SHOW GAVE HIM A HAPPY ENDING - this is where i mention tonhon chonlatte and no where else

this list is just becoming too long and i am forgetting many others but these are my main ones (i probably will get reminded of a lot more when i see other people's list lol)

tagging @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @slayerkitty @respectthepetty @neuroticbookworm @thisautistic @poetry-protest-pornography @blmpff @sparklyeyedhimbo @bengiyo @my-rose-tinted-glasses @sandrayy @reptileofdoom @wen-kexing-apologist and anyone who wants to do this!