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helahades · 5 years ago

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Araña Picante

(A Peter Parker Drabble) // (Fem!Reader)

Warnings: Light injury. Spanish song with literal translation that makes no sense. If ya know ya know! Peter with a crush.

A/N: I am aware I missed out on the title alliteration of Spicy Spider. It will haunt me later, no doubt. Also, Peter is 22.

Intended for a Spanish speaking reader, but anyone can read!

And the song she sings is a healing one my mom does when my brother gets hurt. Never fails♥️

—

To the unending entertainment of everyone around him, Peter Parker loves spicy food.

Mainly chips. Hot cheetos, Takis, (and most recently, Tapatio Doritos).

He also likes the spicy gas station pickles, the most searing flavor at the salsa bar, and the hottest hot wings.

Of course, while all good things have their limits, Peter has none. He will eat salsa picante and anything that burns until he’s blushed red in the face and with swollen cherry lips smacking and slurping and near drooling fire.

He loves spicy food, but he doesn’t know when to stop, and he refuses to admit when too hot is too hot.

He’ll sit in his chair, spacing out from conversation, only thinking about how the heat in his mouth feels like television static. It’s almost like he only likes food that hurts him. His interest was first piqued, leading to an eventual crush, when he saw you eat a gas station pickle without a jug of water.

—

It’s hot outside. A sweltering, sticky heat wave is sitting over Nueva York, and no one can bear to be out in it unless it’s chased by the coolness of one of Stark’s infinity pools.

For safety reasons, the pool isn’t fully outside. Missile proof, one way glass separates its space from the open air surrounding the roof.

Sitting across from you, Peter can’t help but to stare. His skin is freshly dotted with droplets from the pool he had just pulled himself out of. Those droplets are warming both with today’s peak heat, and the rush of his blood as he watches you absentmindedly wrap your pretty lips around the cherry tip of a Firecracker popsicle.

He doesn’t know where to look. There’s the blue droplet from the base that’s trailing down your chest and disappearing beneath the slick fabric of your one piece. There’s the way your legs are crossed at the ankles and the sheen of your coconutty sunscreen mixes surprisingly pleasantly with the other scents...jugo de sandía, salsa de mango, and the one that’s just barely detectable to the unenhanced that is driving him crazy—that fucking popsicle.

He’s a sweet boy, truly. He would never stare at you so openly, or try to make you feel uncomfortable. In fact, he takes pride in the fact that you don’t keep the same shield up with him that you rightfully do with other male agents—if that’s what he is.

So yes, he has a crush on you, and has since he met you in Germany, fired up and powerful. It was born of the same kind of awe that young guys have for lots of things they’ve never seen before, and only grew upon getting to know you. The smaller, realer you, as opposed to the larger than life reputation that often precedes your presence.

You’re smart, and you’re quick, which isn’t exactly groundbreaking for anyone around here, but his adoration bloomed from other things.

When he was in that airport in Germany, just meeting the Avengers and scared shitless, despite knowing his strength, you were one of the only unenhanced present, looking as if it were the most natural thing in the world! You’re resilient and adaptable.

When everyone was sure he couldn’t keep up when Tony named him an Avenger, that he would crack under the pressure, you smiled encouragingly, and decided to train him a bit. You’re quite the acrobatic fighter yourself, the swooping from the heavens backup—albeit without web shooters—and you had plenty to say about his form.

Just because you can withstand the force of a bad landing, doesn’t mean you should! That’ll catch up to you Peter!

His soul balloons when you say his name, he feels like he’s floating across the city with only sweaty palms for parachutes.

There are plenty of reasons to adore you, but also, he is only (semi)human, and at his most base form, his fast metabolism, his quick beating heart drum beating hot blood, and his dialed up senses make it very hard not to notice reasons to feel very attracted to you.

Peter finds you very pretty.

He finds he loves to listen to your voice. He asks you to explain things he already understands. He goes to every optional meeting if you’ll be speaking. He has, once or twice, listened to that video over and over that you sent to the group chat, telling everyone goodnight. You even say his name in it, chastising him lightly for some dad joke he made.

Your voice is gentle and soft and he loves to catch you singing.

You’re humming something now, onto the slightly wider whiter tip of the popsicle, and Peter thinks he has never known you to eat anything so slow. Turning towards him from your chair, which he senses quickly and looks away casually, you ask him if he’s tried the salsa.

He hasn’t, because even though he loves spicy things, he feels heated enough thinking about your lips that have finally pulled away from that popsicle, graced with cold and sticky sweet syrup. He’s trying not to think about how he could see your tongue working from behind your cheeks, or how you would hum while closing your eyes, reveling in your icy treat’s contrast to this steamy day.

His hand, in all its largeness, crinkles the sides of the bag as he reaches in, and it takes him embarrassingly long to grab one Tapatío chip. At his irritation at that, he scoops up a heaping, and entirely miscalculated scoop of your mango salsa, throwing the entire thing in his mouth.

A moment.

F u c k.

It’s half fruit! How can this be so spicy?

You’re looking at him, trying to gauge his reaction to your recipe, and he’s melting into his chair, hand not so subtly covering his mouth, but he tries to pass it off like he’s in deep thought. About what? Who fucking knows. Maybe about how the hottest woman he’s ever seen makes the hottest salsa he’s ever tasted and how now he just wants to be a popsicle so he wouldn’t ever burn up like this again and have to work so hard just to fail to hide it in front of you.

Then, you tilt your head, fond knowingness spreading across your features as you let slip a light chuckle.

“Oh, precioso,” you giggle, making his burning heart tender, “you don’t have to pretend. I know I made it a little spicier today.”

Then you’re up, handing him your popsicle, which he eats in a couple bites, and stroking his cheek lightly, and singing even lighter and elongating the words into calming poetry.

“Sana sana,

colita de rana

Si no sanas hoy,

Sanarás mañana”

Your touch lights him up, and he feels better actually, but just a little embarrassed, so he settles on smiling over thanks, cherry lips and all. You called him precioso, and he still isn’t over it.

He thinks about how he just wolfed down the popsicle you had been sucking on, and how your cool touch felt against his face.

“Let me get you some water.”

And you're up. Walking back inside, the light floral fabric of your swimsuit coverup swishes with each swing of your hips.

Peter grabs another chip, scoops some salsa—less this time.

He finds the sweetness.

—

(reblogs appreciated)

Im going through a bit of a hard time with the end of the semester, so if you’re wondering where all my “coming soon” s are, they’re coming! I just need time to get homework done :) love y’all! Thank you for reading.

mis amores: @xbuchananbarnes @saintsebastian-stan @honeychicana @avintagekiss24 @honeychicanawrites @invisibleanonymousmonsters @thorsthot

@fvckingavengers you made me love Peter so shoutout! I adore you

♥️♥️♥️

#peter #peter parker #peter x reader #peter parker x reader #peter fluff #peter parker fluff #latina!reader #agent!reader

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paladin-lynx · 4 years ago

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SquipJere Week 2020, Day 6: Sexy Anime Cat Girl With a Tail

@squipjerebmc’s SquipJere Week 2020 Day 6: Sexy Anime Cat Girl With a Tail

Ships Involved: The SQUIP x Jeremy Heere (Technical Difficulties/Squipemy/Squeremy/JereSquip/SquipJere)

Setting: Canonverse, set in the time interval between “Loser Geek Whatever” and “Halloween”.

Trigger/Content Warnings: non-graphic mentions of masturbation; sexual situations and implications but no graphic depictions of sex; anthropomorphic/furry characters; tail kink; kissing; grinding; groping

Author’s Notes: Am I posting this weeks after the event already ended? Maybe. I ended up starting this piece when SquipJere Week was still happening before I fell out of my groove, so hopefully I managed to pick up where I left off well enough. This one’s a little spicier than the others, as you can probably tell from the warnings, hehe. Enjoy!

The SQUIP had been working long and hard to condition Jeremy to not think about sex nearly as often as he used to, and the fact that it seemed to be successful thus far in its efforts was nothing short of amazing. Jeremy had gone from feeling the need to jerk off every morning like clockwork to actually being able to get through an entire day without thinking about something lewd. The only time he ever got a pass was when he was with Brooke, but he hadn’t been seeing her much outside of school lately. She was just a stepping stone to get to Christine anyway, and while she was attractive and sweet, Jeremy wasn’t really all that into her. And that made him feel bad about using her as some kind of practice dummy.

“She’s used to it,” the SQUIP would say while squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. “She’ll move on to someone else quickly enough. You don’t have to be concerned about hurting her.”

That didn’t really make Jeremy feel much better, but he had always been someone who worried constantly about what others thought of him or how they felt about things he’d done. It was a big part of why he’d gotten the SQUIP in the first place – no one would ever see him as anything more than the awkward cardigan-wearing loser who spent all his time playing video games and getting high in his only friend’s basement. Michael had always been perfectly content to march to the beat of his own drum and didn’t seem to really care about anyone’s opinions of him, and he seemed to just assume Jeremy felt the same.

But Jeremy yearned to be somebody. He didn’t want to just survive every day and wait for the next day to be exactly the same. He wanted to live and have a life.

And so the SQUIP helped him to thrive in all areas. He dressed better, he walked more confidently, he was doing well in school and in the drama club. He was getting closer every day to all the cool kids and Brooke seemed completely enamored with him.

Of course, he was still a teenage boy. And teenage boys had urges. And while Jeremy could rein in those urges when he was awake and alert, that most definitely wasn’t the case when he was asleep.

He hadn’t been thinking about anything particularly sexy in nature before going to bed – at least, he was pretty sure he hadn’t, or else the SQUIP definitely would’ve had something to say about it – but that didn’t seem to matter. The dream had started out simple enough. It was almost boring, really. He was lounging on his bed, playing around on his phone, with the SQUIP laying beside him and watching quietly. The SQUIP as of late had been indulging itself more in the simple pleasures of human life and seemed content to observe Jeremy just existing rather than criticizing his every thought and action. Ever since it had realized it may be able to feel and Jeremy had assured it that he did really like having it around, it had taken to merely being near him when things were calm.

But all too quickly, the dream shifted away from the PG. The SQUIP smirked and reached over to take his phone – something that dream logic apparently decided was a thing that the SQUIP could actually do – to set it aside, and then didn’t hesitate to climb on top of him and straddle his waist. The SQUIP felt surprisingly more solid than normal, and while it was normally a bit cold to the touch, it actually felt rather warm now, like it was flesh and blood and not just a projection from Jeremy’s mind.

There was soon a hungry mouth on his and they were kissing, Jeremy wrapping his arms around the SQUIP and curling his fingers into the back of its cloak. However, when he pulled back, he realized the face looking at him was not that of Keanu Reeves, but instead a rather well-endowed girl with big, unmistakably anime-styled eyes, shining an ever familiar bright blue. She had long flowing black hair and atop her head proudly sat a pair of cat ears, and the cloak Jeremy had been holding onto was replaced with a rather short dress covered in a circuitry pattern. And Jeremy was pretty sure he could see a long black tail waving behind her.

Jeremy gawked for a moment but he did seem to have enough brain power to comprehend that this was still his SQUIP – he remembered way back when it had said one of its potential forms for him was that ‘sexy anime cat girl with a tail’ – and that seemed to be all the go-ahead the SQUIP needed to dive back in and kiss him again. Jeremy felt like there was fire under his skin as he kissed back, one hand shifting down to toy with the SQUIP’s new tail, causing it to mewl into his mouth. And of course that only spurred Jeremy on more.

The dream only escalated from there. Clothes disappeared at some point and the SQUIP’s mouth was everywhere on him, skilled and teasing. Given that the SQUIP was in Jeremy’s mind, it of course knew all the right ways to get him to writhe and moan. It could have only been a few seconds or it could have very well been hours when the SQUIP finally climbed back into his lap, a grin on those feline lips, and sank down onto him.

Jeremy woke up choking out a gasp, gripping his sheets and realizing rather quickly that both them and he were drenched in sweat. He had to take a moment to catch his breath, feeling as though he had just run a mile, and when he noticed that his pajama pants were feeling rather sticky, he quickly realized what had happened.

“Oh my God…” he mumbled, rubbing his hands over his face before pushing back the hair slicked to his forehead.

“I see you had quite the dream.”

Jeremy yelped at the sudden voice, scrambling to sit up and ending up tangled in the blankets for a moment. He stared with wide eyes at the SQUIP – in its usual form, thankfully – sitting in his desk chair, glowing that gentle blue against the darkness of the room. It was the middle of the night, judging by the fact that it was still dark outside, as well. The SQUIP was grinning slightly at him, looking thoroughly amused.

Jeremy just blinked dumbly at it for a moment, his mouth dry. “D…did you do that?”

“Oh goodness, no, Jeremy. I may be inside your brain, but the subconscious is not a realm that I can delve into. It’s much too complex and I wouldn’t want to potentially damage your mind by interfering with it.”

“But…you still saw it?”

The SQUIP hummed. “Bits and pieces. And, well, clearly you have a pretty vivid memory of it, so…” Its grin widened a fraction. “I can see it all now as you think about it.”

Jeremy’s entire face burned and he quickly tried to put the dream out of his mind, although he knew how this worked – now that he was actively trying not to think about it, it would result in him just thinking about it more whether he wanted to or not.

“Are you gonna shock me or make me do push-ups?” he asked warily.

The SQUIP tilted its head to one side, gaze sweeping up and down Jeremy’s body in a way that made him swallow a lump in his throat.

“…I’ll let it slide this time,” it murmured, chuckling. It smiled at him again, waving a hand dismissively. “Change out of those clothes. You’ve soiled them.”

Face still feeling hot, Jeremy slid out of bed and went to grab a fresh pair of pajamas, trying to ignore how he could feel the SQUIP’s eyes still on him. He did take a moment to grab some tissues and clean himself up and soon enough he was changed, although he frowned as he looked back at the bed and realized his sheets were still soaked. He didn’t like making the bed on a normal day, let alone in the dead of night. He could probably just deal with it, or sleep on the couch, although the latter option would raise some questions from his dad in the morning – if he cared enough to be inquisitive, anyway.

��Whatever,” he sighed, pulling the blankets up so they covered the dampened sheets and he could lay on top of them. He shifted so he could flip his pillow over, as well, humming contently at the cooler side pressed against his cheek and closing his eyes. Everything was peaceful.

“Jeremy…”

His eyes shot back open when the SQUIP’s voice came out much higher-pitched and sing-songy than normal. He was about to sit up when he felt himself pressed back onto the bed, weight pushing against his shoulders and waist. The SQUIP suddenly appeared atop him, grinning wickedly as it took the form of the very same cat girl he’d seen in his dream. The only difference now was that its touch was cool against his skin rather than warm.

“L-Ly?” he managed, blinking up at his SQUIP with wide eyes. “Wh…what are you doing?”

It chuckled – more like purred, honestly – and leaned in close. “You keep telling me to find things that I enjoy,” it murmured, tail flicking in amusement. “And I’ve come to conclude that I do very much enjoy seeing you all flustered like this. Do you like this form of mine, Jeremy? We both know about your attraction to anthropomorphic characters and…well, I believe you also have an affinity for tails, right?”

Jeremy tried to say something, to retort, but he just ended up letting out a rather pathetic squeak because of course the SQUIP was right. Michael teased him all the time – lovingly, of course – for being a furry, and he was never going to let Jeremy live down that one time he’d accidentally admitted that he thought Thalia would look cute with a tail.

But the SQUIP had worked so tirelessly to keep Jeremy from doing anything that would incite sexual thoughts, and yet here it was, seducing him. Was it seducing him? Jeremy wasn’t completely sure he was actually awake yet, to be honest.

But even if the SQUIP wasn’t nearly as warm as it’d felt in Jeremy’s dream, this did feel much more real in a way he couldn’t quite figure out. Maybe it was simply because he was, in fact, no longer dreaming and his brain could better process the situation – although he definitely still felt like he was at a loss.

“I…” was all that fell from his lips when he tried to speak again.

The SQUIP grinned, eyes bright with amusement and mischief, and it closed the gap between them. The feeling of the SQUIP kissing him was tingly and, dare he say, electrifying. It wasn’t like kissing Brooke, which was all warm and wet and messy. Even while insistent, every move the SQUIP made was precisely calculated and its lips were still cool against his, firing off all the right nerves to make it feel like there was something actually there.

It was so obvious to Jeremy that he was kissing nothing more than a glorified figment of his imagination, like this was just another fantasy. But he didn’t care. He liked it. His chest bloomed with warmth and his stomach was doing somersaults, and he couldn’t help letting out a soft whine against the SQUIP’s mouth. He wasn’t entirely sure why the SQUIP was doing this or if this was all some elaborate trick, but he threw caution to the wind and gripped onto the back of that dress like he had in his dream, pulling the SQUIP more against him. Their chests brushed and the SQUIP’s hips slid against his in a way that made Jeremy arch up with a gasp, and the SQUIP didn’t hesitate to take the opportunity to slide its tongue into Jeremy’s mouth. It was a little weird since it wasn’t wet and gross like a human tongue would be – Frenching was still something Jeremy was getting used to when it came to Brooke – but he could taste the SQUIP all the same.

It eventually pulled back and Jeremy sucked in a breath, having apparently forgotten that oxygen was a thing that he needed. The SQUIP looked entirely unfazed, still sitting triumphantly atop him with that wide grin. Jeremy’s chest heaved, his body growing warmer, and while he still wasn’t sure if this was some weird test, he gave in to his desire and tugged the SQUIP down again, kissing it once more. He felt the vibration of a chuckle against his mouth and for a moment Jeremy thought the SQUIP might just stop and leave him yearning, but then it was kissing back with just as much hunger.

Whining again, Jeremy let his hands drift down. He could feel the soft, silky fabric of the SQUIP’s dress as if it were really there, although there was a slight buzz at his fingertips, as if he was touching active wires. No one else would ever feel like the SQUIP, and that sent an odd sort of thrill through Jeremy. He couldn’t help wondering, in the back of his mind, if some people got SQUIPs for things like this. After all, if something was inside your brain, it knew exactly how to make you feel good, right? Although he supposed there were probably some drawbacks to SQUIPs only being able to project a holographic form. It wasn’t an actual, physical body like an android or something would have.

But those thoughts were hardly present in Jeremy’s mind as he lost himself in the moment. The SQUIP’s hips gave another teasing little roll that had Jeremy whimpering and on a whim he let his hands slip down to the SQUIP’s ass, wanting to pull on its tail.

So he had a kink. Sue him.

However, as he felt around, kneading at the soft skin, his brow furrowed when his fingers never found a tail. He pulled out of the kiss and opened his eyes, squeaking and turning bright red when he realized he was no longer looking that cute cat girl in the face, but instead a familiar Keanu Reeves lookalike.

The SQUIP, naturally, was still smirking like it was having the time of its life. “Problem, dear?”

“Y-you…” Jeremy tried, but he had no retort. He would’ve thought that the want – the need, nearly – to have the SQUIP close, kissing and touching it, would instantly fade away upon seeing the SQUIP’s usual form. After all, Jeremy saw it all the time and while it was an attractive face, it wasn’t one that Jeremy had thought about kissing – okay, well, maybe a couple of times, but that was just because his mind liked to imagine most things in a sexual way, horny teenage boy that he was. The cat girl had made him feel so many things and he hadn’t been able to help himself.

However, to his surprise, he found that even looking at this face he’d been seeing every day, 24/7, for the past few months, the urge to be close wasn’t going away.

“I…” he mumbled, suddenly feeling very small, his hands hurriedly falling from the SQUIP’s back where they’d been lingering. He shouldn’t be feeling this. He shouldn’t have felt it before even with the SQUIP’s rather sexy new form, but he definitely shouldn’t be feeling it now.

The SQUIP definitely sensed his hesitation and seemed to soften up a bit. Jeremy swallowed the lump in his throat as he felt a wave of calm wash over his mind and he sighed quietly, his muscles relaxing against the bed beneath him.

“There you go, love,” it cooed and, after giving Jeremy a moment to process, it leaned down to press their lips together again. This time it was gentler, more a brush against his mouth than a kiss proper, and Jeremy felt the weight against his waist lift slightly. Jeremy just lay there for a moment as the SQUIP kissed him before his eyes fluttered shut and he almost shyly kissed back, like it was his first time.

It only lasted a few seconds and then the SQUIP pulled back, shifting to move off of Jeremy and lay beside him on the bed. It gently ran a hand up Jeremy’s arm, and Jeremy felt the hairs there rise up at the cool, slightly static-y touch. “Are you alright?” it asked.

Jeremy blinked and ended up coughing out a laugh. “You’re asking that now?”

It frowned, eyebrows furrowing. It tilted its head slightly – analyzing, calculating, predicting. “…I apologize,” it murmured, still tracing along Jeremy’s arm. Jeremy almost wondered if it was fidgeting like that. “I suppose I got an…impulse and I got carried away with it. I shouldn’t have pinned you down. And I shouldn’t have kissed you or moved against you like that. It was highly inappropriate.”

Jeremy just stared. The SQUIP had definitely been acting more and more like a human lately as it explored what it wanted outside of just being Jeremy’s coach, but never had it sounded so ashamed, like it truly thought it had done something wrong. Jeremy’s mouth fell open slightly in surprise and he scrambled for something to say.

“I…I mean…” he started. “You…would’ve known if I didn’t want it, right? You’re in my brain. You…knew I was enjoying it.”

“I believe most would call that ‘taking advantage’ of you, Jeremy.”

“I could’ve told you to stop. Even if my mouth was, er, preoccupied, I could’ve thought at you.”

“Would you have done that, though?”

That had Jeremy faltering and he had to consider it. And he realized he wasn’t sure. Even if he had been uncomfortable, he’d been so overwhelmed by all the sensations the SQUIP was making him feel that he wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to properly convey that he didn’t want it. And even if he could’ve, he might’ve ended up being too afraid of the SQUIP’s disapproval that he wouldn’t have said anything at all and just let it happen.

The SQUIP, of course, could hear all of his thoughts on the matter and huffed softly. “Exactly.”

Jeremy’s brow creased. “You’re acting like I’m mad at you.”

“You should be.”

“Well, I’m not. I’m…confused, really, more than anything else.”

The SQUIP sighed. “I would imagine so.” It paused, processing once again. “…I’m honestly not…entirely sure why I did that. Like I said, it was an impulse.”

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “But you always run predictions and stuff. You had to of seen what would come after if you acted like that. Was this…all because of my dream? Did it like, mess with your code or something because I dreamed about you?”

“You’ve dreamt about me before, Jeremy, that isn’t how this works,” the SQUIP scoffed, and Jeremy was glad that it was at least well enough to criticize his lack of knowledge about supercomputer pills. “…I suppose I wanted to tease you a little, as it were, about this particular dream, but that was all. I had only planned on changing my form for a brief moment, but once I was on top of you…” It trailed off and Jeremy felt a buzz at the back of his head that he was already learning to recognize as the SQUIP’s version of being flustered.

“…Yeah?” he prompted.

Its form flickered for a moment. “…Nothing else mattered,” it murmured. “Of course I saw the plausible futures. Of course I knew what a bad idea it was. But…I didn’t care.” Its expression twisted in frustration. “Why didn’t I care…? Am I defective?”

Jeremy wished he could answer, but he truly didn’t know. However, he’d learned a fair bit about the SQUIP in these last few weeks. Maybe he still didn’t completely understand how its programming worked, but he knew what he saw and he could sometimes feel things through their connection, even if it was difficult to discern exactly what it was he was feeling. And while Jeremy had never been the best at puzzles, he could still recognize patterns when he saw them. There were sensations he’d feel when the SQUIP seemed happier than usual, and on the opposite end of the spectrum there were things he’d feel when it was particularly agitated.

So, he had a theory. “Maybe you wanted it.”

The SQUIP blinked at him before tutting. “I’m a mach—”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a machine, you don’t feel, you don’t ‘experience emotions’ like I do. You’ve told me that a gazillion times, but I’m starting to think it’s just bullshit.”

Jeremy almost laughed at how scandalized the SQUIP looked. “Excuse me?”

He sighed. “You obviously feel things, Ly. You sing because you think it’s fun. You get annoyed when you find stupid bugs in the video games you run around in. You like to poke fun at me and call me things like ‘love’ and ‘dear’ because you think my reactions are funny. So…so maybe you wanted to kiss me because, I don’t know, you thought you’d like it?”

The SQUIP’s gaze swiveled back down and Jeremy once again felt that buzz as it considered his words.

“…Did you like it?” Jeremy asked after he didn’t get an answer for a bit. It had definitely seemed like the SQUIP had enjoyed itself, acting like it owned him, but then again, the SQUIP also did things to experiment and test results, so it could have just continued on to see what would happen.

“…I did,” it finally said, whispering so quietly Jeremy almost swore he misheard it.

The buzzing at the back of his head was growing more insistent and Jeremy could tell that the SQUIP was trying to make sense of this entire situation. It was strange, because Jeremy figured that by now the SQUIP would’ve come to accept that its A.I. had evolved to the point where it could actually experience things similar to how a human could, since they’d had so many conversations like this before, but it seemed that it still had its limits on what it deemed acceptable. And while his SQUIP definitely had its quirks, Jeremy doubted that there was anything inherently wrong with it. After all, it scanned itself regularly for problems in its software, so it wasn’t that – unless something had slipped under the radar, but Jeremy doubted that, too.

Deciding to take initiative for once in his life – although he supposed he had the SQUIP to thank for that, with all its work to boost his confidence – he gently put a hand on the SQUIP’s cheek, turning its face to him. He was a little surprised that it actually worked, considering that he had no real control over the projection, but the SQUIP still blinked at him.

“Remember what you said, that you just acted without thinking about the consequences?” he asked. “We’ll worry about all this later, just…for now, go back to that. Do what you want to. Don’t think about what it all means.”

The SQUIP looked like it wanted to protest for a heartbeat but then its expression softened and it nodded, leaning in and kissing Jeremy again.

Jeremy, of course, gently pulled the SQUIP closer against him, glad when he could feel the press of its form against his chest. They both knew that this probably wasn’t wise of them and they’d have to really look more into it when they had the chance, but for now, Jeremy was content to focus on how nice the SQUIP’s lips felt on his and how good it felt to have those cool, strong hands on him.

And from the static against his mouth and the warmth in the back of his mind, he was pretty sure the SQUIP was okay with that, too.

#SquipJere Week 2020 #lynx tales #mine #writing #Be More Chill #BMC Jeremy Heere #BMC SQUIP #Technical Difficulties #Squipemy #Squeremy #JereSquip #SquipJere #Jeremy Heere #SQUIP #would you believe that going into the event this was actually the only day i had an actual plan for? lol #hopefully it turned out okay i feel like stopping partway through left it a bit all over the place #BMC #fic #fanfiction

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weaponmistress · 4 years ago

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"I’m easily excitable but definitely an ambivert, knowing when to bring myself down a level to match the room’s vibe. I’m definitely more hyper and outspoken than most, when I’m around friends or friends of friends. I can be a clutz and probably joke around too much.

Virgo

Panromantic

In a relationship I can be physically distant since physical intimacy leaves me uncomfortable sometimes. However I still try to give my partner enough physical affection and intimacy so they aren’t left feeling unloved. My particular love language is gift giving and also words of affirmation. I do my best to be my partners hype man, if you would.

I’ve played sports through my school years and I also play video games sometimes. In both instances I can get a bit competitive. (I definitely don’t wake my parents yelling at a screen at 2 AM)."

Requested By: @shoogarcube

I'm not the best at taking zodiac into account but I still try to incorporate some qualities of it so it won't just be discarded along the way.

I'm sorry this took a bit long, I was hesitant on reaching out to you because i'm a bit embarrassed about it. (´∩｡• 3 •｡∩`)

But here it is, I hope that you'll enjoy!!

Thank you so much for requesting! <33

Haikyuu Edition! Matchup Season.

I would pair you up with...

Kozume Kenma

🎮 Bb cat baby boi.

🎮 He doesn't mind that you're not into physical intimacy.

🎮 Respects your boundaries. (whatta man)

🎮 Kenma's the type to be distant too, so he understands you.

🎮 He shows his affection in small ways that a few of his friends, like Kuroo, knows that it isn't common of him to do a certain action.

🎮 "Let's play a ranked game."

🎮 As a pro-player in the gaming community, his ranks in several competitive games are his prized posessions. Nobody can tell me that he isn't a pro-player even way before he was introduced as one after the timeskip.

🎮 Isn't surprise that you're actually good at this one game he likes to play right after an exhausting game.

🎮 He wasn't holding back whenever he plays with you because apparently, you can see through him. He has this certain gesture he does that meant he was holding back.

🎮 You got too competitive that you actually won.

🎮 "Hey, I won!"

🎮 "I probably need to find a new game to play..."

🎮 Smiles when he sees your bright twinkling eyes when you won against him.

🎮 "Whoa...is it really going to be released earlier?"

🎮 He doesn't know that you have your way with things.

🎮 He occasionally gets his information from you about the early bird release of a new game that was fairly popular for their trial game.

"Can't believe that the employee in the game shop didn't told me about this..."

🎮 He can get hype when he sees you so hyper.

🎮 Sometimes whenever he goes on a weekend training with his team, you'd join in the training but most of the time you're on your own watching him from afar when they do a informal practice match.

🎮 Is so motivated to do works when you're there that it legits surprises his teammates to the core???

🎮 Only when they notice that you were his main source of hyperness will they start teasing him.

🎮 He doesn't get so worked up during practices, they remembered way before he met you and started seeing you officially, Hinata was the only guy on the court to give everything his best.

🎮 "Sh-shut up...go back to your position...!"

🎮 Durings official games, in volleyball or in gaming, he makes sure to look at you and respond back to your cheers and whoopings that's directed to him.

🎮 "NICE FEINT, KENMA!"

🎮 When he hears you cheer, he flashes you one of his shy smiles.

🎮 Gets flustered when Kuroo notices it.

🎮 "I just really want to acknowledge her cheers so it won't go to waste."

🎮 Gets so focused on the game because he didn't want to disappoint you.

🎮 Super motivated Kenma on full motion!!

🎮 He'd be super tired after the game though.

🎮 "You're so cool! It's so hard to do a feint that casually! You set so nice!"

🎮 His social battery just went a bit high because of your praises.

🎮 It can give him an ego boost, no one knows this except the two of you.

🎮 He's impressed when he gets some extra information from you about the next team they'll be facing against.

🎮 Strategizes with you that can help him and his team to overwhelm the opponents.

🎮 So thankful that he has somebody to point out some small errors of him or his teammates that he wasn't able to notice before.

🎮 "Ah, I didn't notice that a while back, thank you."

🎮 He's so grateful to have a s/o who knows how to match up with the vibe. He's pretty much a chill kind of guy who can't keep up with every exhausting activity,

🎮 Except volleyball, that's the only thing he'll exert extra effort,

🎮 You too, but he won't see you as exhausting to handle, just somebody who he'd want to show how he's so grateful for being there with him.

🎮 Plays volleyball with you, whatever position you're comfortable with, he'd likely adjust to you if you want to be in a certain position that him, being setter, isn't the best to play with you.

🎮 Would ask everytime if it's alright to you if he kisses you or hugs you just to make sure he doesn't misinterpret.

🎮 "Um...is it alright for me to...uh..."

🎮 He gets so shy and quiet the first time he asked.

🎮 Eventually, he'll get used to reading your small actions and would know when he can.

🎮 He thinks that kissing you on the forehead is affectionate and at the same time, a somewhat safe spot for him to kiss that wouldn't catch you by shock.

🎮 "Look, Kenma, kids!"

🎮 He inadvertently hides behind your back when a child comes up to you.

🎮 Doesn't hate kids but are kinda scared of them, He could imagine a kid running around in his house, eventually ruining his expensive build of his pc.

🎮 You help him interact with the kid and he do as you told him to do.

🎮 He won't grow fond of them even after years of being with you, but will try to not make the child cry because of him.

🎮 Will absolutely not babysit.

🎮 Actually knows how to cook, just not some complex meal.

🎮 "Ice cream!"

🎮 He likes seeing you all so smiley whenever he buys you some sweet desserts.

🎮 "You got some cream on the corner of your lips."

🎮 Chuckles when he sees you reach for it to lick it off.

🎮 Will eat the cherry if the order comes with one.

🎮 He could take some heat, what can spicy food do to him anyway?

🎮 He enjoys some spicy food, low to medium spiciness level, but unfortunately his stomach says otherwise.

🎮 Would feel his stomach growling in displease when he smells your food when you feel like eating something spicier than usual, the sharp spicy smell struck him.

🎮 "Ugh, you enjoy this...?"

🎮 "Of course!"

🎮 Has a pet cat only because you love cats.

🎮 He grows fond of it and doesn't mind too much when it causes some mess.

🎮 When he goes out to buy his games, he sees a particular game that you've been talking about for a week.

🎮 When he comes home, your presence welcomes him warmly.

🎮 It's been years since he moved out and settled in an apartment near the university he was attending. It was pretty lonely but he didn't mind until you came along. It feels more like home whenever you feel like crashing in his place. He feels that every time you're not in the apartment, it truly feels emptier than he remembered.

🎮 "I went to buy my game and saw this game you want, I bought you some spicy snacks on my way home too."

Bonus!

Second Pick: Akaashi Keiji

🏐 He is totally fine if you don't get physically intimate with him all the time. He sees you being affectionate in your own ways anyway, maybe people would judge but,

🏐 They're not in the relationship so???

🏐 He feels so special and loved when you tried to be intimate with him.

🏐 Same as Kenma, he'd ask you if you're up for some cuddle session, some kisses here and there. He'll eventually learn when you feel like receiving some too.

🏐Cooks you food especialy to your liking,

🏐 Asks you if you wanna make desserts with him,

🏐 "How about it, love?"

🏐 "Yes please!"

🏐 Encourages you to do your tasks but won't pressure you if you don't feel like it.

🏐 Helps you in anyway he can.

🏐 "If you need me to do something, don't hesitate to ask for my help."

🏐 If you feel like doing some of your hobbies and you decide to show the result to him, you know he'd look at it silently with starry eyes.

🏐 "This looks so pretty!"

🏐 Nicknames, he gets soft when you come up with a few cute nicknames.

🏐 he's a very soft bb.

🏐 When you tripped out of nowhere, his fast reflexes get the better of him, and will hold you to steady yourself.

🏐 If you get a scratch because of a random fall, he'll make sure to patch it up even if it's minor.

🏐 "Please be careful, alright love?"

Third Pick: Sugawara Kōshi

🏐 He cherishes every hugs, kisses, basically everything you give.

🏐 His hobby is to pamper you with a lot of things he bought.

🏐 Cooks you some spicy food!

🏐 The two of you can share because looking at Kōshi, he's full of surprises.

🏐 He can handle any spicy food, and could compete with you.

🏐 Probably eats something spicy to compete with your tolerance for spiciness.

🏐 "I bet that I can eat spicier than you can!"

🏐 Naturally competitive too, so your bondings would consist of little competitions here and there.

🏐 Would be bad in video games from the start,

🏐 but in the end, he's slightly better than before.

It's an improbement you have to say.

🏐 Always loses to you, but won't get all sulky about it.

🏐 Gets all fired up when you play on your own against some random strangers,

🏐 "YES, GO CRUSH THEM, HONEY!"

Fourth Pick: Shirofuku Yukie

🏐 Praises you on the regular.

🏐 Actually good at video games, but she turns humble,

🏐 "I'm not that good."

🏐 Actually wins with perfect scores.

🏐 Gets pretty competitive too when it comes to food, and protective of her food, but when it comes to you, she's going to give you a piece or two.

🏐 "You're lucky that I love you..."

#Kozume Kenma #Kenma hq #Akaashi Keiji #Akaashi hq #Sugawara Kōshi #Sugawara hq #Shirofuku Yukie #Shirofuku hq #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#hq!!#haikyuu matchup #haikyuu matchups #matchups #open for requests

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imuybemovoko · 4 years ago

Text

I die inside while dissecting Jesus music, part 2

Oh, did the pause in my posts lately make you think I was done with emotional self-harm?

Apparently we both have lessons to learn, because here we go again.

I have a shitload of this stuff squirreled away in a youtube playlist I haven’t deleted yet for essentially this exact reason. I felt like it might be a good thing for me to go through and deconstruct some of the songs. That or I’ve just gotten used to suffering. Can’t tell; don’t care.

Trigger warning, of course. If Jesus music is going to mess with your head too much, please for the love of all that you find holy find something more wholesome to read.

Now that I’ve started down this dark path, I start to wonder, when was the last time I talked about my worldbuilding and other crazy hobbies? I’ve been yelling about my trauma a lot lately. Anyway...

Let’s do this.

"Rhetoric is the art of ruling the minds of men." -Plato, apparently.

If, like me, you like suffering enough to look at the song I’ll be analyzing, here it is. I’m looking at Matt Redman’s “Gracefully Broken” today. This song also features Tasha Cobbs Leonard. This felt weird as shit to listen back to.

I’ll be using the transcription of the lyrics on Genius as my main source for the actual words in the song, though the video I’ve linked does have lyrics on screen as it plays.

Without any further ado, let’s get into the structure of this fucker. There’s about 25 seconds of instrumental to start this studio recording out, then the first verse plays. The last line, “Set me on fire”, is sung twice, and then in this case the entire first verse plays again. (Holy shit contemporary Christian songwriters like repeating things. Did I say that enough last time?)

After this, the chorus plays through once and you basically smash cut right into the second verse. The second verse is half the length of the first one and the words are only said once. In this case, the repetition does that trick where it uses KJV-flavored language and then modern language to say a similar thing twice: “ You won't forsake me, You will be with me”.

Then the chorus plays twice, each time followed by a random tag that reiterates something within the chorus and, in the case of the first one, isn’t found in the lyrics on Genius. I read it as a musical flourish coupled with the lyrical equivalent of yelling “AMEN” during a church service when the pastor says something you find cool. (Not all churches do this).

Genius does something I find a touch unusual here, but I think it makes sense with the way the song plays. It lists two sections as “bridge 1″ and “bridge 2″. After this repeated chorus, bridge 1 plays, repeating the first line twice, the second original line twice, and the last line of the thing four times. After this, there’s another doubled chorus. This time, with even more amen flourishes.

Then the instrumental goes really chill and the second bridge comes in. This is a stanza that they repeat six times (Genius lists it four times) while they slowly build the instrumentals back up and, since in this case there are two singers in Youtube’s edition of this, Redman drops out and Tasha, who he’s featuring on this, sings the first two repetitions of this while Redman does amen tags. On the third one, they switch roles. On the fourth one, they each sing the entire section but Redman leads and Cobbs follows like a round. Then, they have this entire chorus setup on the last two repetitions.

This is the climax of the song. And then everything goes really chill again. They sing the chorus once and then everything fades out to one last piano chord, fade to black. That’s the structure in the youtube video. It’s not exactly uncommon for studio recordings of songs like this, though at live events, Jesus camps, and some church services people will repeat sections of this ad nauseam because of course. Even this structure works to cement ideas really strongly, as if every single fucking thing the song says is very important. I find that this doesn’t happen remotely as often in secular music to anything approaching this degree. They’ll repeat the chorus, sometimes you’ll have lines repeated, sometimes you get a bridge that’s four lines a few times over, but it’s not like this.

Alright. On to the actual content of this thing.

This is going to hurt a bit. :^)

I’ll do the verses, then the chorus, then the bridges. This shit isn’t going chronologically. That would suck.

Take all I have in these hands And multiply, God, all that I am And find my heart on the altar again Set me on fire, set me on fire Take all I have in these hands And multiply, God, all that I am And find my heart on the altar again Set me on fire, set me on fire

This repeats twice; I won’t go over it twice.

Take all I have in these hands is basically saying “I surrender to you”. Which is a thing that’ll come back up a fuck of a lot in this song. It’s kind of the whole message... with a twist I’ll get to later that gets really cursed. This is a message that speaks of letting go of control of one’s life so God can do whatever with it. It’s like a surrendering of agency, at least the way it plays out in fundagelical circles like the one I left a year and a month ago.

And multiply, God, all that I am is, aside from being a sentence that’s weirdified so it fits in a song better, is directly addressing God by name, making this entire thing addressed that way. This basically refers to the concept within at least some strains of Christianity where God is said to increase what people are and what they’re capable of when they’re “right with him”. This is, at least possibly, also a reference to Matthew 13:8 (Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown), which uses a metaphor that relates, as I was taught about it, the word of God to someone sowing seeds into a field, where sometimes you yeet the seeds and they land in rocks and screwy circumstances but other times they grow and give a good crop. I’m inclined to read this line as asking God to fulfill this in the singer’s life because of how heavy of a focus is placed on the concept it contains in many churches. Redman might not have intended it to refer to this necessarily here, but it’s the kind of metaphor and the kind of language that people very often use even if it’s not a conscious reference.

And find my heart on the altar again implies some kind of re-dedication of the core of the singer’s being to God. There’s this strong tendency in your spicier churches towards thinking that believers continually need to re-commit themselves to God after having been distracted; this is at least one of the things that it refers to. I suppose Redman knows his audience. This can also be taken as a reference to Romans 12:1-2, since an altar implies sacrifice most of the time. My instinct is to say it plays both roles.

After that you have this Set me on fire, set me on fire line, referring to a common concept whose origin I’m not that familiar with in which being “on fire for God” refers to having a passion for doing what whoever you hang around thinks he wants you to do. It might be a reference to that scene in Acts 2 where God’s power in the church is marked by tongues of fire that come and rest on people. Of course it’s like the fire from that burning bush Moses encounters because this is an instance of God burning people metaphorically rather than physically.

Sarcasm and gallows humor aside, God has been known to yeet fire from heaven at things and sometimes even people. In both Acts 2 and this song, the reference is more or less metaphorical and refers to a driving force rather than to an attack. This line is basically a prayer for a passion for God.

Verse 1 was sung just by Redman; for verse 2, both Redman and Cobbs are singing.

My heart stands in awe of Your name Your mighty love stands strong to the end You will fulfill Your purpose for me You won't forsake me, You will be with me

I touched on this in the “on the altar again” line from 1, but I typically read “heart” as “core of being” in these contexts. So this first line, My heart stands in awe of Your name, refers to this deep sense of reverence towards God.

Maybe someone ought to tell Redman about the hypocrites, because god damn does this seem like performative righteousness to my outsider’s mind. Maybe Paul’s “renewing of the mind” from Romans 12:2 works both ways lmao

Joking aside, the role of this line is to normalize this feeling of reverence and to try to instill it in the listener. It serves a purpose that isn’t hypocrisy and Redman would probably say the same thing if some cheeky heathen walked up to him and told him about the hypocrites as I joked about.

The entire rest of this verse is essentially saying the same thing in different ways, framing it through God’s love, purposes, and presence in a believer’s life. The idea is that none of these three things are believed to ever fail, and this verse is meant to reinforce that perception and to give thanks to God for it. I don’t feel like saying what these lines are going for three times so I’ll treat them as one unit because functionally, they are.

I’ll do the chorus last because that seems like a fun idea. Bridge 1 is:

All to Jesus now All to Jesus now Holding nothing back Holding nothing back I surrender I surrender I surrender I surrender

oh god oh fuck

so what can we get from this weird disaster where you say the same thing a bunch of times in a row? Basically, the singer surrenders everything to Jesus and holds nothing back. But it’s really really important, so they say it slowly and each piece is said several times. It feels pedantic as fuck looking at it from the outside, but on the inside it instills this mood that makes you, at least in that moment, want to do exactly that. Pretty wacky.

Second bridge:

Your power and work in me I'm broken gracefully I'm strong when I am weak I will be free

It’s this, four times on Genius and six times in the Youtube upload. I’m not copy pasting that full length in here lmao

Basically the first line reads to me as an attribution related to the rest. Like, “what follows is because of God’s power and work in me”. Your spicier evangelical circles will attribute good things in themselves exclusively to the work of God. It gets super goddamn toxic depending on exactly how they handle it, but the general vibe I’m talking about is “I’m a piece of shit and therefore if anything good happens in me it’s God not me”. It’s really a sad thing, and it messed me up real good when I used to think that way.

So that’s fun I suppose.

As for the rest of this, uh... it’s not better. So. “I’m broken gracefully” is just about the most cursed sentence in this section here. To be “broken” in this case is ...more or less what it sounds like. Basically God breaks the believer down in the process of sanctification so that they release their own identity and replace it with one that’s more from God. This is then framed as a grace. I read “gracefully” here as both referring to the grace of God and to its other usage, like “they moved gracefully across the whatever the fuck” as a descriptive term suggesting beauty and elegance. In both senses, this broken state is considered a good and beautiful thing. Which ...is a bit cursed.

“I’m strong when I am weak” is this weird reversal that alludes to several passages in the Bible including, the first one I can think of, John 3:30, which says “he must be greater, I must be less” (and specific wording will vary based on translation). The idea is that a person has more real “strength” when they’re weak in themselves and trusting in God for everything. So this sentence might be expanded to “I’m strong in God when I’m weak in myself”. Which is one of those gaslighty self-denying concepts that is the reason my time in these weird fundagelical circles fucked me up so much. Pretty fun. See why I say it’s emotional self-harm to come back and review this music? It’s not always that dark of a thing, I genuinely want to analyze this shit, but good grief can it get tricky to deal with.

The last line here is “I will be free”, which cements the previous concepts by referring to freedom from “sin” and from the “old, fallen nature”, i.e. freedom to be a slave to God instead of “a slave to oneself”. Another spooky reversal.

And that’s the bridges.

I’ll grab a chorus that doesn’t have amen tags and only happens once:

Here I am, God Arms wide open Pouring out my life Gracefully broken

These first lines speak to someone who accepts God’s calling with open arms. Pretty straightforward I think. It gets a bit funky from here because this “pouring out my life” line is a bit deeper. It could refer to the act of confessing things to God in kind of a spilling of energy and secrets, a breakdown of barriers that believers keep their issues contained within, that kind of thing, and it could be a reference to the Old Testament practice of pouring out blood or wine or both as an offering before God, in a metaphorical sense in this case because believers are called on to offer their lives as a “living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God” as Paul writes. The image of pouring something out is quite a common one within Christianity because of the Old Testament imagery and the degree to which New Testament writers allude to old practices.

In compiling an overarching message for what I read out of this song, I’ll compare it to a sonnet written by John Donne, for a bit of fun hyperbole.

Batter my heart, three-personed God, for you As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend; That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new. I, like an usurped town, to another due, Labour to admit you, but Oh, to no end. Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend, But is captived, and proves weak or untrue. Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain, But am betrothed unto your enemy: Divorce me, untie or break that knot again, Take me to you, imprison me, for I, Except you enthrall me, never shall be free, Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

The whole message of this sonnet here is, in a phrase, “I’m having a hard time submitting to you, God, so break down my gates, steal me from Satan, and rearrange my guts”.

Yes, ravish is sometimes a sexual term. In my medieval literature class last fall, the professor understood its sense as such in this context. I agree with that reading because the word immediately preceding the phrase that contains it is “chaste”, which is clearly establishing that kind of context.

Basically, the reason I include this is, without the “fuck me God” part of it, the message of the song I’ve been dissecting is the same as this. It speaks of surrendering to God as something that’s desired, but frames it as a battle through the “heart on the altar again” bit and the “brokenness” part of this narrative that suggests it’s a desired, beautiful act of God. Donne accomplishes this message through much more violent terms, but the end result is very similar.

I know.

So, why did I start this shit with that Plato quote?

Ultimately, because I think that an important part of the role that Christian music like this serves in the church is pretty much the same as Plato’s understanding of the role of rhetoric. If “rhetoric is the art of ruling the minds of men”, then contemporary Christian music is the result of using shit, repetitive lyrics and actually good instrumental tracks to convince the human mind to yeet itself deeper and deeper into Jesusland.

Which is pretty cursed. I relate, vacuuming lady. I relate.

What was that I said about conlangs again?

#exchristian #christian music #i probably need therapy #john donne #oh god oh fuck

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theradioghost · 5 years ago

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what books did u get ? i rly need to get back into reading more now school is over

oh man. so I’ll give you what I bought & then I’m also gonna throw in some similar books that I have already read just because I can actually vouch for the quality of those

(brief note that my main qualifications when I was looking for books, besides not wanting YA, was that 1. they were not about straight cis white men and/or 2. they had particular appeal to one of the areas of sf&f that I have a particular fondness for and/or 3. they cost under five bucks. so there’s a lot of diverse lit, and a lot of novellas, and a lot of urban fantasy wizards who are also detectives/rebellious angels and or demons/necromancy/dragons/stuff that is explictly Lovecraftian adaptations but takes the piss out of Lovecraft/anything on this list/anything published by Tor)

new books that I have read:

(coming back to update this as I get through these books)

the Lovelace & Wick series by Jennifer Rainey – this is the Demon Husbands one I’ve been yelling about. Two gentleman demons in love – a Faustian tempter and a bringer of catastrophes – are growing increasingly dissatisfied with the work they do for hell, while also being forced to contend with new and dangerous enemies. Set in a vaguely-steampunk 1890s Massachusetts. Also includes monster-hunting steampunk scientist lesbian wives.

Deadline by Stephanie Ahn – fourteen months after a disastrous failed ritual, disgraced blood witch Harrietta Lee gets offered a ridiculously lucrative job quietly recovering a stolen artifact for a young member of a powerful magical family, and promptly finds out that this is too good to be true. Also she keeps meeting scary, hot women. Instantly the only wisecracking urban fantasy PI named Harry that my heart has any room for. (This one’s a bit Spicier than my usual fare but the author actually includes a list of content warnings including page numbers at the front of each book, which you can view with the preview option on the Amazon page.)

Hammers on Bone by Cassandra Khaw – A kid hires London PI John Persons to kill his stepfather. The first catch is that the stepfather is a Lovecraftian horror. The second catch is that Persons is too. This is like, the noir-est horror I’ve ever read and that’s something I am very into.

The Haunting of Tram Car 015 by P. Djeli Clark – An urban fantasy police procedural set in an alternate 1912 Cairo, in which two government officials are sent to deal with a strange, malevolent spirit in the midst of political upheaval as Egypt’s women demand universal suffrage. There’s a free short story prequel to this on tor.com called “A Dead Djinn in Cairo“ that’s worth reading first.

Three Parts Dead by Max Gladstone – high fantasy with a black protagonist, in which Tara Abernathy, a disgraced magic user and rookie associate in an internationally renowned necromancy firm, is assigned to resurrect a city’s murdered patron fire god – but first, with the help of a chain-smoking priest and a vampire-addicted servant of Justice Herself, she has to track down his killer.

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey – in an alternate history where the 1910 “Hippo Bill” passed, Winslow Remington Houndstooth, an ex-rancher out for revenge, is hired to travel north with a ragtag crew – a con artist and pickpocket, a demolitions expert with a proclivity for poisoning, the most dangerous contract killer in the country, and the very man who ruined his life – and take on the dangers of the massive swamp that was once the Mississippi river, a place ruled over by deadly feral hippos and a homicidal riverboat gambling king.

or, essentially, a swamp-based heist Western with a cast including a British-East Asian bisexual man, a black nb person, an unashamedly fat woman, and a pregnant Latina lesbian, and also their pet hippos. Listen just go ahead and get the version with both stories in it

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh – Tobias has lived in the woods as long as anyone can remember; long enough that the nearby town tells stories of the Green Man, the spirit-king of the forest, who dwells in the trees. These stories are truer, and far more dangerous, than anyone but Tobias knows – so when friendly, handsome, curious Henry Silver buys up the neighboring Greenhollow Hall and starts investigating the local folklore, Tobias will have to decide whether to sacrifice the only life he has known for centuries, or the first person he has loved in all that time.

not-new books that I have read:

idk if you don’t know about the Wayfarers series, the first of which is The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, but it is an absolutely stellar bit of sci-fi very much based around ideas of found family and discovering your own identity and place in the universe and love and compassion and stories based around sweet slice-of-life stuff in a scifi universe with lots of fun aliens and it is so very queer and so very heartwarming and all three books (which each have different casts, although the characters in all three are connected to one another and sort of cameo across all the books) are fantastic.

Urban Dragon by J.W. Troemner – Dragons are supposed to be ruthless, unpredictable, deadly, selfish creatures. So why is it that Rosa Hernandez seems to be able to keep her best friend Arkay in check? How did Arkay, a shape-changing dragon with lightning at her command, end up being found alone and starving and with no memory of her past by a homeless woman? And as evidence mounts that someone is hunting down supernatural beings, who can they trust? (I stumbled across this while looking for urban fantasy on TV Tropes and BOY am I glad I did. Good if you like close friendships between queer women or the enemies-to-lovers trope)

The Merry Spinster by Daniel Mallory Ortberg – of course I was going to read Daniel Ortberg’s short story collection, are you kidding me. Not “””darker””” fairy tale retellings, but fairy tales as often very surreal, psychological horror. Read this if you want to totally ruin “The Velveteen Rabbit” for yourself.

The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker – historical fantasy set in the early-20th-century Orthodox Jewish and Middle Eastern immigrant communities of NYC, about the strange friendship that springs up between a bitter jinn trapped in a mortal body and a masterless golem living among humans. and it gave me feelings.

The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle – a retelling of H.P. Lovecraft’s short story “The Horror at Red Hook” from the perspective of a black man. One of the better pieces of horror I have ever read.

Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff – a very different take on a similar concept to The Ballad of Black Tom, wherein a mid-century black Midwestern family find themselves mixed up in the plans of a bunch of cultists and set out to disentangle themselves from this whole cosmic-horror mess. Apparently Jordan Peele is adapting this into a TV show, so I’m stoked for that.

new books that I have not read:

(& also a couple that are just books I want, and some that I just haven’t read yet but got free from the Tor monthly ebook club, which is very much worth joining)

Armed in Her Fashion by Kate Heartfield– I’m just going to let the official blurb speak for this one because there is absolutely no way I could improve on it

The Black God’s Drums by P. Djeli Clark – New Orleans-based steampunk fantasy about an airship captain and a stowaway who talks to orishas.

Rupert Wong, Cannibal Chef by Cassandra Khaw – Apparently several authors have written standalone works in this series, and Cassandra Khaw’s aren’t chronologically the first, but I love Cassandra Khaw and “chef for ghouls and pencil-pusher for the Ten Chinese Hells is forced to solve an inter-pantheon murder mystery” just sounds so good to me.

Bones and Bourbon by Dorian Graves – Cursed half-huldra PI is forced to help out his little brother and the demon who shares his body, and then everything goes wrong. Feat. carnivorous unicorns.

Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Cordova – reluctant bruja attempts to rid herself of her magic and instead plunges her entire family into magical trouble. YA.

Robbergirl by S. T. Gibson – WLW retelling of The Snow Queen from the perspective of the bandit princess. YA.

Passing Strange by Ellen Klages – slightly-fantastical historical lesbian noir novella set in the burgeoning 1940s gay club scene in San Francisco.

The Black Tides of Heaven by JY Yang – admittedly caught my eye because the cover art reminded me of Moribito, which I adore. East-Asian-inspired epic fantasy which I believe has a nonbinary protagonist.

Rosemary and Rue by Seanan McGuire – I’ve been neglecting getting around to October Daye way, way too long considering how much I love Seanan McGuire and urban fantasy, but my mom started reading this and that pushed me over the edge because damn it, yes I want to read her take on the Wizard Detective genre that I have such a weakness for.

The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson – this was recommended to me in a Tumblr post listing interesting, diverse fantasy, and I’ve been into high fantasy political intrigue lately.

The Paper Magician by Charlie N. Holmberg – came across this in a Twitter thread about fantasy worlds with unconventional and interesting magic systems. A newly graduated student of magic is bitter about being sent to learn paper-crafting magic rather than working with metal, until Murder Stuff Happens. YA.

Miranda in Milan by Katharine Duckett – queer fantasy sequel to The Tempest, with Miranda as protagonist.

Witchmark by C. L. Polk – post-WWI gaslamp fantasy MLM romance about a male witch in hiding, working as a doctor; the reviews seem to indicate people think it’s more ‘delightful’ than ‘literary’ but apparently it is pretty fucking delightful.

In the Vanisher’s Palace by Aliette de Bodard– East Asian WLW retelling of Beauty and the Beast and also one of them is a dragon.

Winter Tide by Ruthanna Emrys – another one of the rash of new Lovecraft adaptations that are turning perspectives around, this being one where the citizens of Innsmouth are the protagonists. Also has a really good short story prequel you can read for free on tor.com.

also I just feel like mentioning that I’m stupidly excited for Gideon the Ninth by Tamsin Muir to come out this fall because the review they’ve decided to put at the top of every blurb is “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” (not my exclamation mark) and I don’t know how anyone could more perfectly craft something to my tastes.

#bobbie recommends things #astronauticality #asks #my posts

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thecatwhogrins · 6 years ago

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To Be Human

Okay so Uni has been kicking my butt lately but I managed to write this haha It’s not my best but I still hope you enjoy!

Tengu mountain had always been off limits for Shirayuki.

Her grandma warned her to never go near, as she might be spirited away to the spirit world, never to be seen again. But to keep the gods from being angry, grandma always offered some food. As Shirayuki grew up, she watched in awe as her grandma cooked the food and placed them in small beautifully ornate bowls, before hobbling out of the house with the precious cargo in a satchel.

When she went to fetch the bowl at nightfall, nothing was ever left of the food. This cemented Shirayuki’s idea that the gods were real and so, when her grandma grew too old and could not take on this task any longer, Shirayuki carried on the tradition.

Shirayuki took this job very seriously. Every morning, after she had woken up and donned her yukata, she went to the little shrine at the entrance of the path that led up the mountain. There, she would place a bowl full of offerings for the mountain god’s spirit to relish. During the day, she would help her grandma at the tavern. She’d go back by twilight, would retrieve the empty dishes and bring them home. On her way home, she’d pick some medicinal herbs. Those were peaceful days.

One night, when Shiaryuki was about twelve years old, as her work ended later than she thought, she came to pick up the bowls wearily, smelling like sake and a hard day’s work. The tavern had been hosting more and more of the local lord’s men lately and as a result her grandparents had been obliged to close shop later and later, making it harder and harder for her to tend to the shrine like she used to. She had missed a day already, to her dismay. She hurried to the mountain, a lantern in hand.

When she arrived at the shrine she almost gasped in horror.

A boy was squatting on the ground, one of the bowls in his hand, eating its content heartily. She could see that he had eaten all of the brazed meat. From behind, she could only see that the boy wore a black kimono and a dark colored hakama. His hair was short, unruly, like a stray cat’s. She had never seen this boy before. Was he one of Lord Raji’s retainers’ children? He looked slightly too scruffy and young for that. Well, whoever he was, he had no right eating from her shrine offerings, lest he be a mountain god, which she greatly doubted.

“Ex… Excuse me, what are you doing?” she asked, he heart pounding away in her chest.

He looked up and unfolded himself from his position, bowl still in hand. He was tall, wiry, probably her age, if not a little older, and most of all very intimidating. In the dim light, she could see the amount of scars he sported, creating somewhat of a pattern, especially on his hands, the rising puckers flesh proof that the boy had been in a fair share of fights. And his eyes... Like a cat’s, feral, untamed. He blinked lazily at her, his face a composed mask.

Fear washed through Shirayuki like a wave.

“You… You cannot eat that. These are offerings to the mountain gods, if you wish I will gladly show you the way to a restaurant near here,” she explained.

As she spoke, his eyes rove over her, taking her in. Shirayuki felt nervous, on edge. No one was around for miles if she ever needed help, she’d be on her own.

“This food is a day old, it might upset your stomach,” she continued but his silence remained.

He finally broke the silence:

“Are you the one who brings offerings every day?”

“Yes, it’s me. I’ve been upholding the tradition. How did you know I bring food every day?” She asked, surprised.

He wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve recklessly and smiled.

“Because I’m the one who’s been eating the food,” he laughed good-naturedly, “Thank you, by the way, it’s very good, very tasty.”

Shirayuki bristled slightly at this comment. She was flattered that he liked her cooking but was also angry at him for the sacrilege he was committing. She was about to tell him to go away again when the sound of footsteps approached.

Some men arrived carrying lanterns, probably some of Lord Raji’s men. When Shirayuki turned around to ask the boy if he knew them, he wasn’t there anymore. All that was left was the empty bowls and the sound of cicadas in the trees.

At that moment Shirayuki decided to start making extra food on the side for the hungry boy. She noticed that he would usually eat all of the chicken but always left a lot of the onions. He also seemed to really appreciate the spicier pieces of food she made. So, she made more of those and set them aside in a black bowl for him every day when she went to the shrine.

The next time Shirayuki saw the boy, he was eating from the black bowl.

But the other offerings had also been devoured.

“Ah, the little miss. Thank you for the extra food, I am very full now,” he grinned cheekily.

Anger raced through Shirayuki’s veins as she replied:

“I made that bowl for you, but the rest is for the mountain gods!” she stomped towards where he crouched on the ground. She didn’t care that the boy was a head taller than she was or that he looked dangerous. It had been a hard day, she was tired, and he was stealing the offerings.

“Ah, but I am a mountain god,” he smiled, his hands up in defense. He had a playfulness in his grin but his eyes were also guarded. He observed her reaction, waiting.

Shirayuki stopped in her tracks for a second, puzzled.

“You expect me to believe such an obvious lie?” she asked, even more angry.

“Well, I was one,” he explains, his smile turning bitter sweet, “I was banished, and my godhood stripped because I was naughty.”

Shirayuki is suspicious of course, but also very curious. Her grandmother had raised her to see in things that were invisible to the human eye, to believe in things that were unbelievable. That was why she taught her to make the offerings to the gods.

“If you really were a god, what kind of god were you, then?” Shirayuki asked, arms crossed, eyebrows raised, her inquisitive gaze trained on him.

A wistful look took over his face, but he quickly started smirking again.

“I am a god of the winds, of the Tengu tribe!” he proudly proclaimed.

Shirayuki couldn’t contain her smile.

“I am not stupid, you know? And anyways, tengus are not gods, they’re yokai. The mountain god is a beautiful celestial being, that’s what my grandma said!” Shirayuki stated.

At these words, the boy rolled his eyes and laughed. He licked his lips and deposited the bowl back unto the platter.

“Pff, those boring show-offs? Yeah, they’re gods and they’re powerful, that’s true. But they don’t know how to have an ounce of fun, they’re all sticks in the mud.” As he said these words, the boy looked upwards with a smirk, as if he was taunting some invisible foe in the sky. Shirayuki was truly puzzled. Did this boy really believe he was a god?

“I have proof of this,” he said.

Shirayuki watched expectantly but gasped, blushed and covered her eyes with her hands once she saw that he was undoing his yukata.

“What are you doing?” she squeaked.

“I’m showing you my wings!” he left his chest and shoulders bare, the yukata was still tied around his waist.

He turned around and on his shoulder blades were two scars. They looked quite painful, raw, as if someone had just recently cut the boy with a rusty blade. Shirayuki gasped in stupor. Who could have done such a thing to a young boy like this? Her only consolation was that he didn’t look like he was in too much pain.

“Well anyway, I’ve been stuck in this human form for a few years now thanks to that stupid monk. If I see him again, he’s dead meat for sure,” spat the boy, retying his yukata.

Shirayuki did believe that the gods exist but she was still very sceptic of this strange boy. She decided to play along.

“Is there a way for you to return to your previous state?” she stepped closer to him.

“I must do good deeds towards humans and mean them. That’s what the monk said. But I’m not exactly sure what that means,” he said, scratching his head.

Shirayuki thought about this for a moment, then decided that if this boy was trying to do good deeds, then that would mean he isn’t all that bad.

“I’ll help you become a god again,” she said resolutely.

Obi looked shocked for a moment then chuckled.

“Why would you help me? I’ve been eating all the food you’ve been making. Shouldn’t you want me to go away?” he asked, mystified. Shirayuki approached towards him, making the stunned boy take a few steps back in surprise.

“Well, yes, you have been eating all my food, and you’ve been generally pretty rude, but you don’t seem all that bad to me. If helping you means you’ll make good deeds, I don’t mind helping,” Shirayuki explained while piling up and gathering the bowls on her platter.

She straightened up and smiled.

“So, since we haven’t properly introduced ourselves, and we are to be friends, let us do it now; my name is Shirayuki, what is yours?”

The boy didn’t answer for a moment and the silence blanketed them, the sounds of the forest taking precedence. His strange eyes seemed to assess her, but she held his eyes easily, not intimidated anymore.

“My name is Obi.”

#obiyukisoundtrack #song 1 #day 1 #ans #obiyuki

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foodonabudget18-blog · 6 years ago

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Cooking a meal for $25

Creating a meal, a true full course meal, is something that many of you may find daunting. You may also find it to be a terribly pricey thing to attempt. What if I could tell you that you can make a nice full course dinner without breaking the bank? You would have everything from a main course, deserts, salads, and even a nice small dish before the main course. This is sure to win over the hearts, and stomachs of whoever you want to impress.

So, lets start off with a nice small dish before dinner. You want this dish to be light, but still flavorful. You don’t want to overpower or make your guests full and not be able to enjoy dinner. For this I suggest a simple chips and guacamole dip. This combination is good because you can make the dip to suit your needs, and it allows the guests to eat at much or as little as they want.

What you will need:

· 1 avocado 1 small onion

· 1 small tomato 1 habanero (optional)

· Lime juice 2 tbs cilantro

· Salt and pepper to taste 1 clove of garlic, minced

Directions:

1) Slice the avocado in half and remove the seed. Scoop out the avocado and place into a medium/large bowl.

2) Using a fork mash, the avocado. You can make this as smooth or as chunky as you would prefer

3) Add in the onion, tomatoes, juice, salt, pepper, garlic, cilantro, and pepper. Mix until well combined.

4) Serve and enjoy with a side of your favorite tortilla chips! (I prefer a nice blue corn)

This appetizer and opening dish has an estimated cost of $5.00 and a small prep time of 10 minutes. It is more than doable on a college budget and let’s be honest, who doesn’t love some chips and dip?

The main dish that I want to share with you all actually comes from tasteofhome.com. This is a website that I love to visit and find new recipes, they always have new and exciting ones. I really suggest you take a look. This one is a taco meat loaf. I know it sounds odd, but its heavenly.

What you will need:

· 1 cup of crushed saltine crackers 1 envelop of taco seasoning

· ½ c ketchup 1 can mushroom pieces (4 oz)

· 1 small onion chopped 2 lightly beaten eggs

· 2 tbs Worcestershire sauce 2 lbs. ground beef

· 1 can sliced olives (2 oz)

Directions:

1) In a large bowl combine the crackers, taco seasoning, ketchup, mushrooms, onions, eggs, Worcestershire, and olives. Mix until well combined.

2) Carefully crumble the beef over the mixture and mix until well combined.

3) Press into a greased 9x5 in loaf pan. You can make this in other pans but keep in mind cooking times will vary

4) Bake uncovered for 1 to 1.5 hours at 350. Using a thermometer make sure no pink remains in the burger, and that it reads 160.

5) Serve with your favorite toppings and sides. We use salsa, cheese, sour cream, and more olives if needed.

This dish comes at a whole price of .77 per serving! With a total of 8 servings that means it’s a whopping $6. See, cooking doesn’t have to break the bank! This dish is sure to be a hit because it takes on a unique flavor to a classic style meal. Not only that but you can spice it up however you like. If you’re a person who enjoys spicier foods, add in some peppers or if you don’t like olives, leave them out. Not only can you change the recipe to make it be what you want, but you can take this recipe and make it your own. Instead of having it as a taco style meal, add sausage or turkey and some garlic instead of taco seasoning. This turns it back into a normal meatloaf that you can enjoy.

Salads are always nice to have around. They are something you can make in an infinitesimal number of ways. Each one can be different from the next, and not only that but you can make it how you personally want. Salads can be as leafy, or veggie filled as you want, or they can be as dressing covered and flavorful as you like. Salads are an easy way to crisp up and add some color to a meal. The salad that I am going to share with you all today is a nice Caesar salad. These are my favorite and are popular in many restaurants and other eateries.

What you will need:

· Lemon juice (about 1 lemon) 1 garlic clove, minced

· ½ c olive oil salt and pepper to taste

· Romaine lettuce ¾ c grated parmesan

· Croutons

Directions:

1) In a small bowl combine the lemon juice and garlic, making sure to blend well. Add in the olive oil and whisk to make the dressing well combined. Then salt and pepper to taste.

2) Carefully wash the romaine lettuce. One washed tear the lettuce into nice bite sized pieces. Make sure to keep the lettuce chilled until ready to serve.

3) In a salad bowl, or bowl of your choosing, place the lettuce and toss lightly with the dressing. Make it as dry or coated as you would want. Remember that you can personally add more dressing to your individual portion later, so don’t make it too wet.

4) Sprinkle in a majority of the cheese and all the croutons. Toss lightly.

5) Serve immediately. Top with a light garnish of the remaining parmesan cheese.

The best way to end any meal is with a nice desert. This is something that ties a meal all together and gives in a nice and final end. You want to make it nice and easy to enjoy, but you still don’t want it to be too filling. You don’t want to leave your guests with a stomach ache because they ate too rich of food. Today I am going to share with you all a nice and easy sponge cake. These are my favorite because you can dress them up in a number of different ways that suit your needs and ability. This sponge cake goes well with fresh fruit and some whip cream, or you can top it with ice-cream and some chocolate or caramel sauce. Either way you are sure to sit down and enjoy it with a nice beverage of your choosing!

What you will need:

· 6 eggs separated 1 ½ c all-purpose flour

· ½ tsp salt 1 ½ c sugar

· ½ c warm water 1 tsp vanilla extract

· ½ tsp cream of tartar toppings of your choosing

Directions:

1) Let the eggs stand at room temperature for 30 minutes. Sift the salt and flour and set aside.

2) In a large bowl, beat the egg yolks until they start to thicken. Gradually add in 1 cup of sugar and beat until it turns thick and lemon colored. Carefully add in the warm water and vanilla and mix well. Add in the flour and salt and mix well.

3) In another bowl, beat egg whites and cream of tartar until soft speaks form. You can do this with a mixer on a medium speed. Gradually add in the remaking ½ cup of sugar in 1 tbs measurements while using a high speed. This doesn’t have to be exact, but make sure it is slow and well combined. Stiff glossy peaks will start to form once the sugar is dissolved.

4) Fold in ¼ of the egg whites into the egg yolk batter. Once it is well combined, add in the remaining egg white mixture. Make sure not to over mix as you want to batter to stay light and fluffy.

5) Gently spoon the mixture into an ungreased 10 in tube pan. Use a knife to cut the batter and remove any air pockets that you see. Bake at 325 for 55 to 60 minutes or until the cake is done.

6) Once done, immediately flip the pan over and allow it to cool completely. Once cool, use a knife to slice the outside of the cake and remove it from the pan. Cut into servings and top as you wish.

This cake is fun and creative because it allows your guest to enjoy it how they want to. It is also a good way to end the night because it will be light and filling, without them feeling stuffed. This recipe has a price of $8, so while it is more expensive, it is well doable.

In total to create this full meal you will spend about $25 and feel anywhere from 4-6 people! That’s a total of $6.25 per person! You can’t even eat out for that price. These dishes are so easy to make, and they will be sure to impress your guests. It only takes a few hours of work to produce such a nice meal, and you get to really enjoy it in the comfort of your own home. You can even make cooking a group effort and enjoy everyone’s company while you do it!

In the end that’s what cooking is all about. I want you guys to be able to see that even though you may not have a lot of spare money lying around, you can cook a nice meal and have a good time. I love cooking and I want you guys to be able to love it too. So, take these recipes, make them yours, and enjoy your college life.

#MKT400UWL

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clickwish2-blog · 5 years ago

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Copycat Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp

Copycat Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp is quick and easy to make bursting with curry, peanut, coconut flavors. With this copycat recipe at your fingertips, you can eat bang bang shrimp whenever the cravings strike - in your slippers – at a fraction of the price!

I am a huge fan of Cheesecake Factory. From their wonderfully long diverse menu, to their luscious cheesecakes to their Bang Bang Shrimp.

If you’ve never tried this famous entrée, it is a symphony of flavors and textures, down to the crowning sweet toasted coconut.

In my Copycat Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp recipe, we get all the same coconut, Thai curry flavors in under 30 minutes!

Hi all, its Jen from Carlsbad Cravings and I am excited to be with you again sharing another quick and easy dinner!

I absolutely love Thai food for its harmonious dance of savory, sweet and sour flavors and so I was super excited to recreate this this Copycat Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp.

The ingredient list might look long, but keep in mind most of the ingredients are just dump and run with no time/skill required so it is actually super easy to make and tastes just as good or better (in my humble opinion) than the restaurant version.

If you are looking for more fabulous Thai recipes, be sure to check out my Panang Curry and Pad Thai – you won’t be disappointed!

Speaking of simple recipes, of course our new cookbook The Simple Kitchen - available to order nowis packed with delicious, easy recipes.

The Simple Kitchen is loaded with more than 75 BRAND NEW recipes and a hand full of family favorites too.

8 chapters with a total of 82 quick and easy recipes that are bursting with flavor!!!

Every recipe has a photo that will make your mouth water. It has slow cooker meals, one-pot recipes, quick dinners, simple appetizers, desserts and more!!!

And we have included kitchen tips to make dinnertime less stressful.

We are so excited to share our recipes with you!!! So, don't wait. Go and grab yours today! The Simple Kitchen <-- click here to order.

WHERE TO ORDER:

🔥 Amazon 🔥 Barnes & Noble 🔥 Books-a-Million 🔥 IndieBound

Helpful Tips to make Copycat Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp:

This recipe calls for smooth peanut butter but if you only have crunchy peanut butter on hand, that will definitely work. Brands such as Skippy and Jif work best in this recipe as opposed to natural peanut butters because they don’t melt as well.

If you don’t have chicken broth on hand, you can substitute with water.

Asian Sweet Chili Sauce can be found in the Asian aisle of your grocery store. It is a dynamic balance of tangy sweet heat derived from red Thai chilies, sugar, rice vinegar, garlic and ginger.

To toast coconut, preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Spread coconut in an even layer on a baking sheet. Bake for 3-5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until coconut is golden. Watch closely towards the end because it will go from golden to burnt very quickly.

You can make this Bang Bang Shrimp perfect for YOU by customizing the consistency, flavor and spice level. I find Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp a little on the sweet side, so I prefer 2 tablespoons Asian Sweet Chili Sauce and 1/2 teaspoon pepper but I recommend tasting first before you change/add any ingredients.

If you would like a thinner sauce, thin with additional chicken broth or water.

For a spicier sauce, add sriracha.

For a tangier sauce, add lime juice.

For a sweeter sauce, add additional brown sugar (keeping in mind the coconut will add sweetness).

What you will need to make Copycat Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp:

Wide Stainless Steel Pan - Using a wide stainless steel pan allows you to cook your shrimp in one batch. It also heats evenly and quickly which allows your food to cook faster and develop that pretty sear on seafood, chicken and meats that adds a lot of flavor. Stainless steel pans also clean up beautifully with a little baking soda so they still look brand new.

Garlic Press - One of my moist used kitchen tools! I received mine as a gift years ago and I can't imagine why I never had one. It minces garlic with one squeeze, with the peel still on!

Microplane/Zester - This is great for zesting ginger, garlic, citrus and even potatoes. You will use it practically every day!

Enjoy!

With love from our simple kitchen to yours.

Do you ❤ love ❤ TSRI? Don't miss another recipe. Click here to Subscribe to The Slow Roasted Italian by Email and receive new recipes in your inbox every day!

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Check out more of our favorite copycat recipes:

Copycat Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits Chipotle Copycat Cilantro Lime Rice Wendy's Chili Copycat Olive Garden Copycat Chicken Vino Bianco Copycat Texas Roadhouse Rolls Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls Copycat

Copycat Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp, Bang Bang Shrimp

copycat

American

Yield: 4-6Author: Jennifer SattleyPrint Recipe

With ImageWithout Image

Copycat Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp

Copycat Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp is quick and easy to make bursting with curry, peanut, coconut flavors. With this copycat recipe at your fingertips, you can eat bang bang shrimp whenver the cravings strike - in your slippers – at a fraction of the price!

prep time: 10 minscook time: 18 minstotal time: 28 mins

Ingredients

Shrimp

1 pound medium uncooked shrimp, shelled, deveined, tails on

2 tablespoon Asian Sweet Chili Sauce

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 tablespoon butter

Coconut Curry Sauce

1 tablespoon olive oil

1/2 large onion, chopped

1 large carrot, julienned and cut into 1” length pieces (1 cup)

2 teaspoons freshly grated ginger

3 garlic cloves, minced

2 teaspoons curry powder

1 13.5 oz. can quality coconut milk (I like Chaokoh)

3/4 cup low sodium chicken broth

1 tablespoon cornstarch

3 tablespoons brown sugar

3 tablespoons smooth peanut butter

2 tablespoons less sodium soy sauce

2 tablespoons lime juice

1-2 tablespoons Asian/Thai Sweet Chili Sauce (like Mae Ploy) (2 for spicier)

1 tablespoon fish sauce (may sub soy sauce)

1/2 teaspoon dried basil

1/4-1/2 teaspoon pepper

sriracha to taste (optional)

Add later

1 small zucchini, julienned and cut into 1” length pieces (1 cup)

1/2 cup frozen petite peas

Garnish

1/3 cup toasted sweet coconut flakes

1/4 cup chopped peanuts

2 chopped green onions

Instructions

Add shrimp to a medium bowl along with 1 tablespoon olive oil, 2 tablespoons Asian Sweet Chili Sauce and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Stir to combine and set aside while you prep your veggies. (Shrimp may sit at room temperature for 30 minutes or refrigerate for up to 8 hours.)

Melt one tablespoon butter over medium high heat in large skillet. Discard shrimp marinade and add shrimp to the pan in a single layer (you may need to work in 2 batches). Cook shrimp just until opaque, about 3 minutes, then flip over and cook another 2-3 minutes until cooked through. Remove shrimp to a cutting board. Chop off tails when cool enough to handle/while sauce is simmering.

Using the now empty skillet (don’t wipe out), heat one tablespoon olive oil over medium-high heat. Add onions and cook three minutes. Add carrots, ginger, garlic and curry powder and sauté 1 minute. Turn heat to low and add coconut milk. Mix chicken broth with 1 tablespoon cornstarch and add to skillet along with all remaining Coconut Curry Sauce ingredients.

Bring sauce to a simmer until thickened and the carrots are crisp-tender, about 5 minutes. Stir in zucchini and frozen peas and cook until peas are heated through, about one minute. If you would like a thinner sauce, thin with additional chicken broth or water. For a spicier sauce, add sriracha, for tangier, add lime juice, for sweeter, add additional brown sugar (keeping in mind the coconut will add sweetness).

Serve with rice and garnish with toasted coconut, green onions and peanuts.

https://www.theslowroasteditalian.com/2018/09/copycat-cheesecake-factory-bang-bang-shrimp.html

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Source: https://www.theslowroasteditalian.com/2018/09/copycat-cheesecake-factory-bang-bang-shrimp.html

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yewavenue3-blog · 6 years ago

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Copycat Cheesecake Factory Bang Bang Shrimp