#(doesn't make it any less frustrating) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

evilverbose · 1 year ago

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i will simultaneously read someones experience and mesh so thoroughly with the image of them (that i created), feel affective empathy so strongly, and yet i still have nothing there to offer real people in my life. the difference in empathy is so strange.

#i think i get why this happens with me #doesn't make it any less frustrating #esp when i am so bad at masking.#anyway.#schizotypal #schizospec #npd #avpd

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foundfamilywhump · 2 months ago

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see like the thing with 'carewhumpers' as a concept to me is it just like... i know this is prrrrobably not really how it's meant but something skeeves me out about the idea that kindness or caretaking mixed in with hurting someone can somehow meaningfully complicate or dilute the harm done to the point of making that character no longer a 'whumper' whereas someone doing the same 'bad' things but not ever being gentle or caring for them would just be a straight-out whumper. when like... that's how 90% of irl abuse dynamics work? so i just... don't really get the point, i guess. like to me it implies something about the 'care' provided somehow mitigating or combating the harm done that. i just do not personally appreciate or enjoy.

#gav gab #just thinking out loud #like i don't think that's 'nuance' or 'grey characters' i think that's just an extremely common and typical dynamic of abuse #someone breaking your nose and then cleaning up the blood and tucking you into bed is not less like #violent or abusive or harmful than someone who just stops at breaking your nose yk #and i think that it can successfully be summarized by any number of other ways?#carewhumper is just not useful or meaningful shorthand to me the way caretaker/whumper/whumpee are #it implies that the word 'caretaker' or 'whumper' encompasses 100% of a person's constant behaviour #in a very flattened and simplistic way #please do not come at me about this im not saying this is how everyone means it this is just #how i personally feel about it #due to the way i approach these words #and im not trying to say anyone CANT write about very typical abusive dynamics #im just saying the elements of like. 'good' behaviour or 'kind' treatment #doesn't make the Bad Part any less real or bad #the way that 'carewhumper' being set as a different or distinct thing than 'whumper' implies to me #i just feel insane whenever i see people using the term tbh like this is probably a me thing #a very stupid distinction to get hung up on #but i just. im always like isn't that just a whumper who's nice sometimes #what is the utility of this word if not to imply that #someone being nice sometimes meaningfully combats how cruel they are other times #what part of 'whumper' means they always have to be violent and awful 24/7 #and do not take this to mean caretakers are never allowed to fuck up #or do anything wrong or get frustrated #or anything like that but that is like #very distinct from being a whumper of any kind at all #like the idea that a 'whumper' can only be 100% a sadist who means to cause harm and intends to cause harm every time is like #cmon now

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shalom-iamcominghome · 3 months ago

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People findinging out that antisemitism does, in fact, victimize people

#jumblr #jewish politics #antisemitism tw #nothing is more instantly frustrating than the 'jews just want to victimize themselves!' thing #yes actually. bigotry victimizes people. that's why it's called bigotry #honestly this is just me venting about this because i see this way too much #it's even more confusing how much i see it from 'leftists'. you sound worse than my conservative family #it's less that leftism is a set of principles to some but rather that it is an ego-boost i think #it's the aethetic of being a Good Moral Person without any of the work #you won't have to make any uncomfortable reckonings with your own pitfalls #you don't need to worry about what Actual Inclusion looks like because that's not the appeal of leftism #the appeal of leftism is how it props you up #i think in this case this is less a horseshoe theory moment rather it's just that people just...#don't care about the principles they say they have adopted because aethetics are a very attractive set of values #and the people who are hurt most by this is everyone else. it's the jews who won't make a stop in entire cities because they are unsafe #also to make this emphatically clear: antisemitism victimizes people (primarily jews)#this does NOT mean that i am saying someone is like... essentially a victim or they are Cursed or whatever else #recognizing that someone can be victimizes doesn't mean that someone is by character/nature a victim

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bitchthefuck1 · 5 months ago

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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.

There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.

#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional #attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self #sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that #he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been #having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and #out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't #know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know #they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn #if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character #the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense #of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to #unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or #letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated #it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being #about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good #and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good #it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and #gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy #or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal #character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma #impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be #'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well #the bear #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto

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jessmalia · 2 months ago

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how many times do i have to relearn the lesson that being productive actually makes me happier before it actually sticks?

#if we're being real it's definitely because for so many years the only way of being productive i really had was doing the school work that #was forced on me and made me miserable so now i don't exactly have the perfect psychological association with the concept #but it making sense doesn't make it any less frustrating #shut up mal

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corvid-language-library · 5 months ago

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God I don't wanna go to work today, all my classes are 🫠🫠 and the weather is 🫠🫠 and my brain is 🫠🫠

#chough chatterings #first class is 11 kids with mean girls vibes and like 3 adhd kids and one who's too young for the class so juggling it all is a nightmare #the other classes i have some good kids but again lots of adhd kids that make classroom management difficult #it's such a frustrating experience bc they enjoy the games once we get to them #but we can't play the games if we haven't studied the target sentences first #but making them sit down and shut up long enough to spend all of 3 minutes looking at the target sentences takes like 10 mins #and then we only have maybe 5 minutes for the game #or sometimes i have to cut the game completely bc it takes them THAT long to clean up we have to start cleaning up 10 mins early #it's not their fault but that doesn't make it any less frustrating #i'm hoping as they get more used to me and my routine they'll figure out the connection #it's happened with my other classes so i think i've just gotta give it time

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dustofthedailylife · 1 year ago

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Just went to read a fic during my dinner break and for some reason, I thought the wording sounded like AI.

With the increase in AI-generated content, I went and threw it into GPTZero (AI-detection tool) and...

I'm well aware it's not a 100% proof but still... I'm so disappointed.

I tried some things and it seems to be fairly accurate from what I can tell. I quickly had chat GPT generate a text for the bg-story of my OC (did it for test purposes and did not save it because lol) and it showed it as AI and then I yeeted my latest Alhaitham fic in there and it says human 👇🏻

It's not 100% proof but what GPTZero says is fairly accurate from what I can tell.

AI fic "authors" are already among us. And I'm frustrated as hell about it. Like... why do we as fanfic authors even put in the effort anymore? ._.

Edit: Because it was a good input from someone: these tools are not 100% accurate or proof like I said. Don't go and accuse someone directly of AI generating or publicly expose them! (It's also why I didn't name drop or show the fic). Albeit... It's a fact that there are people who "write" their fics with AI ._.

#🍁 dust rambles #AI is the bane of all creatives #first art now writing as well #I'm slow-ish with both #why do I even put in the effort when I could just generate everything #(because I value human made stuff and AI stuff has no soul)#(doesn't make it any less frustrating)#(because as a human being you cannot keep up with the speed of AI content generation)

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martyrbat · 8 months ago

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im so considerate.... (<- guy not ranting about a thing it hates before its friend is done with the media)

#can officially say i finished the arkhamverse. didnt watch anything about that suicide squad one but i read all comics #a d watched the complete story & side mission gameplay for origins asylum city and midway through my refresher for knight #the biggest takeaway i have is wow these people are weird about convicts and addicts and love their toxic masculinity #but the gameplay and nostalgia impacts peoples opinions on it. maybe an enjoyable experience but for the story or universe itself #its a complete failure in every regard i can think of—only having glimpses moments of quality that makes the rest of it #be frustrating because the potential can be there. theres interesting premises occasionally but the execution and payoff doesn't make it #even worthwhile to get to those premises because of what you must wade through to reach them #<- thats me being my nicest and most spoiler freeabout it btw.#my other big takeaway is that tim is canonically older than jason and i think a grown ass man saying fuck that kid is really funny #[SPOILERS LOOK AWAY CJ]#<- tim currently works as a highschool science teacher while jason was shown to be adopted and made robin at 15 #where he was then promptly captured and kidnapped by joker. he escaped half? a year later during asylum and AK takes place 2 years afterward #i think. the entire timeline for this shitty universe is awful and confusing. dick was robin for like 2 years its ridiculous.#and i think primarily so they can go noooo see bruce is a hot late 30 year old instead because you become dust at any older!!#but. back to the age thing. hes about 17 maybe early 18 during AK but because tim is a private school teacher he needs a bachelor's degree #and most people get it at 22/23ish and then theres the actual teacher application and being hired (or not because hes a nepo baby)#so hes early mid twenties or so. compared to a (presumably dead) teenager who he called a loser more or less.

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muninnhuginn · 9 months ago

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sth about how sapphire has low self-esteem even when he's considered a genius or otherwise extraordinary. and how that low self-esteem can lead towards him seeking validation from a wider crowd in a bid to smother his insecurities. how he uses that to feed his ego until he becomes reliant on it and desperately doesn't want to lose it. and it is validation specifically he prioritises over a deeper understanding or connection with others. because he would have that deeper connection in the form of beryl if he'd so accept it.

#been watching s4 today and was thinking about how the timeloop au specifically had me knowing exactly how sapphire was going to act #it's entirely understandable and in-chara but it doesn't make it any less frustrating the way he self-sabotages to prop up his self-esteem #beryl and sapphire #xiao lu he xiao lan #also like. I'm drawing these examples from cases where he doesn't have a huge crush skewing his reactions #but even in those cases some of it still stands tbh. beryl tends to see sapphire flaws and all.#and sometimes sapphire just wants the positive views of himself/is too scared of the rejection inherent in negative views

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strangedisciple · 2 days ago

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i feel like im bouncing off the walls because i need to get this idea into words. but doing that is so difficult >:[

#always has been for me but it doesn't make it any less frustrating #but. guess i'll just have to try my best

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famewolf · 1 month ago

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i will genuinely never understand my dad!!! and i feel guilty for being confused and angered by him!!!! i don't know what he wants and i doubt i ever will

i guess he's known that he's had cancer for over a month now but never told me. and i dont know if it's because he wanted me to reach out/pay attention to him, as he's done in the past or if he just didn't think to, or if it's some other third mysterious reason that i can't think up

we aren't close since he was rarely in my life but i feel like that's something you tell your kid.

and the only reason i found out is because i went to go check and see why he hadn't replied to my message about asking if he wanted to hang out for the thousandth time without getting a response

#[static]#he tells me 'kid im gonna change i miss you i love you we need to hang out more im sorry that i wasnt around'#and then when we try and make plans it's like pulling teeth to get him to follow through #and sure there's been a couple of times in my life where ive had to back out of plans with him but like .....#we're talking less times than i have fingers on one hand in 30 years lol meanwhile he disappears for years without a word regularly #i thought we got somewhere last year when i decided to reach out after i stopped talking to him #we're both adults and we're busy but i somehow manage to have regular scheduled dnd games with 4 other adults twice a month #and i cant get my biological father who claims to want to know me reply to a message #and i know i know i know he's got his own demons and battles but i s2g it's just Frustrating because i dont know what he wants from me #i dont fuck with indecision and i dont like not knowing where i stand with someone #i know that he wont reach out to people in hopes they 'care enough' about him to do it #but like dude .......... SHOW THAT YOU CARE ABOUT ME TOO WTF #i want to be unendingly compassionate to him since he's gotta figure out what he's gonna do regarding his throat cancer #but like ..... what am i supposed to do with this lmao he saw my message and didn't reply and maybe he's busy #but he also didnt reply to any of my other messages asking to make time to see each other #but then he called me this summer to see if i was in town when he was there (and i wasn't and it was out of the blue)#he also posted a lowkey transphobic comedy sketch on his page which is weird because that's not really his politics but also he's old #and i can just hear exactly what he'd say about it if i tried to even bring it up to him ever #idk what he wants from me but i sometimes think even he doesn't know #i think we missed our time to mend things into something that makes sense #anyways sorry for the vent into the void i just got new information and dealing with stuff about my dad is always difficult #i have rarely felt wanted by him and have never felt seen for who i am either

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musical-chick-13 · 3 months ago

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I think. I think there's still a lot of "Well I don't want to be like THOSE girls," even among plenty of adults who truly do genuinely care about feminism. And I just want to say that trying to assure someone who is attempting to parse all of that out with "Oh, don't worry, YOU'RE not like One Of THOSE™️ Girls" does not........actually help.

#you are not immune to internalized misogyny!! this includes me because I am an imperfect human!!!!!#like I'm just as worried about the rise of anti-intellectualism as anyone else but toooooo many people seem to put that phenomenon on #young women and not like. the shitty state of the general world.#I don't actually care if someone thinks I'm Like Those Stupid Girls because I don't give the time of day to people who are #insistent on making generalizations about random women. but that doesn't make the phenomenon itself any less frustrating.#now if you'll excuse me I have to go log off and be a deranged pathetic 'incorrect' woman irl. goodbye.#:o)

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attila-werther · 7 months ago

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doing my own artistic reconstructions of the middle to late republic (and eventually, late empire) army and lemme tell you. if I ever have to draw chainmail ever again (I will) I'm going to scream (I am)

also I miss the era of forums. shout out to all these guys in a larp/reenactment forum from 2006 for posting close ups of their armor reconstructions from multiple angles to show how it all comes together, I owe you my fucking life

#TRAGIC that spaces like that don't exist anymore and also google is useless and youtube only goes so far because the search #function there sucks too #academics on twitter will act like snobs because the general public has a skewed image of what roman armor looks like #but doesn't actually make any effort to show people visually things would look like. they just want to complain that books #that are easily accessible to the public are wrong and it's so cringe that people have based their associations off of that #like i get the frustration but if you aren't going to try and rectify the situation yourself then shut the fuck up #the average person won't understand the specifics of chainmail patterns and it's actually deeply frustrating when visuals #ARENT provided except for the crustiest scan of a photo from a magazine like you are less than useless god fucking bless

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ishikawayukis · 5 months ago

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idols stop being obsessed with the wizard boy challenge fucking failed

#i truly think that they don't know but that doesn't make it any less frustrating #and i say that because unless you spend a certain amount of time online how would you know #''oh it would came up in the news'' no it won't lmfao #if it wasn't because i'm constantly telling my siblings #they literally would not know because it's not something that thwy would search for #or that would appear thanks to the algorithm or whatever #still doesn't make it any less frustrating because i'm sure fans are prob telling them on weverse #but then you have other prob being like ''omg no you're gonna hurt them''#don't fucking care man stop supporting the wizard boy jfc #b.txt

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thatvampireenthusiast · 6 months ago

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oh i'm about to get the shit beaten out of me. great. this is gonna suck.

#dragonfable #sometimes a stat block tells you literally everything about how a battle is about to go #sepulchure why #admittedly this is a great way to integrate story with gameplay #doesn't make it any less FUCKING FRUSTRATING

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lonelyplanetfag · 1 year ago

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why did they make gender so complicated what's up w that

#like yeah. im trans ftm Technically. but calling myself ftm doesn't feel right #cuz yeah i'm a boy & i only want ppl 2 see me as a boy & it hurts when they don't #but also. im not rly trans in an ftm way yk? that feels more like a technicality #and calling myself transgender feels the same as calling myself ftm #im less trans in the 'i was a girl now im a boy' or 'born a girl always a boy' way n more in a #'crossdressing fag with a pussy' sorta way #idk how to explain it right #im not just a guy yk?im a guy that crossdresses n im a faggot n transsexual bc of it #this sounds so edgy jesus god #it's just so frustrating 2 try n explain in any other way #istg my dad said transsexual that one time and it just Clicked that that's what i am n its not in the way everybody thinks if #ig**#delete later #sorry my gender is all tangled up #it's tangled up in the same way my words r tangled up #trying 2 say one thing n getting the point across most of the way but never how i want/intend #& god i hate using pc terms 2 describe what i am cuz what i am doesn't feel pc #it feels offensive cuz it is #but in a way that i can't describe right #idk man im just tired of sanitizing it n making it look all pretty ig

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