#(but the university I chose just makes more logistical sense)

[theshadowrealmitself]

My orientation is on Thursday and I am. feeling a lot. I can’t really do much more to prepare for it, but trying to distract myself is not working, so. I’ll just be feeling off for a few days

[nicki0kaye]

Thoughts on wtf is going on with Zeb;

Didn’t he retire? 

yeah, like. Five years ago. To spend his days with Kallus who is a fucking workaholic. Have you met ‘retired’ workaholics? They don’t know how to let the world turn without them. Plus we don’t know how involved the rest of the Spectres are with the New Republic. As much as I wanted those motherfuckers to go and RELAX, it does make sense that they’d be sucked back into ‘protecting the galaxy’ either from family influence or general restlessness. The dredges of the Empire are still out there, after all. The war ended, but people still need protection.

it makes a lot of sense that they’d be keeping to the Outer Rim rather than taking more prestigious positions in the Core. I’d like to think they’re hanging around Lothal while Ezra is gone, looking after it for him. 

Where is your husband, sir? 

as much as I hate to say it, it makes sense Kallus isn’t there. Zeb and Kallus have very different skillsets. If they’re lending their time to the Republic as either full on employees or contractors, they’d be regulated to very different sectors. This dovetails into why the fuck is Zeb in a pilot’s suit? It’s likely bc that’s his new position. His strength is as a mechanic and gunner, his place is in a hanger working on ships. And this is, like, an official government now and stuff. You gotta wear the uniform. Along with that, you can’t fly a civilian ship for government duties. They aren’t gonna be OKing the Glimmer for missions, which means the boys can’t ‘work from home’, which means they aren’t likely to be working together on the regular. Kallus’ place is in data analysis and logistics. Poor fuck is likely chained to a desk somewhere (ideally on Lothal) while Zeb goes where ever ppl need an extra hand. Which sucks. It’s clear Kallus chose to be part of the naval division of the ISB bc he LIKES being on the front lines. Now, well. It’s not just peace time, there’s also (hopefully) limits on what they’re willing to give to this New Republic. They’ll both help, but they won’t sell their souls. No career positions, no politics, just good honest work to keep this sector of the universe running smoothly. Unfortunately, not getting too involved probably means desk job for info boy.

Also, Kallus could have been a huge asset to the Amnesty Program, but you know what? It probably would have been triggering as fuck to police other ‘ex-imps’, and also when it was in the planning stages, he was likely tRYING to be legit retired. 

honestly, I’m hoping to see both him and Zeb as fairly critical of the New Republic, knowing they can do the most good (and with the least friction) within the system but skeptically waiting for it to fuck everyone over, while always keeping an eye out for the remnants of the Empire. Its safer for them to play with the New Republic, too. It gets them easy(er) access to NR resources and keeps them in the know about coming dangers. Its a marriage of convenience, built on an understanding that they should never fully place their trust in anyone but themselves, bc the Core doesn’t give a shit and is always busy huffing its own farts

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi, I hope you are well and that your day is going well. I was hoping for a bit of nuance to this scene and would like your thoughts. Ep. 6 of IWTV shows Lestat make fun of Claudia for her rape, threaten to send her rapist after Claudia again, and threaten to end her. I know that this scene is from Claudia's pov and so this interaction may not have went this way. However if this really happened what would be Lestat's thought process behind this? Why behave this cruelly (assuming this depiction is true, I'm aware it may not be and would be quite relieved if Lestat wasn't this unkind). Did he really do this to his "daughter"? Could he do this? What are your thoughts?

Ok so... I know this scene is harsh.

I have my own theories about it which I will work into my fic, but... real quick:

Lestat did not threaten to send her rapist after her. And he didn't make fun of her. Imho. He warned her. And then he threatened her, yes. IF it happened like that.

Lestat is also a victim of rape, and he loved Claudia. This scene is... from her POV in Louis' memory. There is no diary relating that scene, and I very much doubt that Claudia would have related it neutrally, too. It is what Louis has made of what Claudia chose to share, and what he then uses to make the point of it being inevitable that they kill Lestat.

So. I do think Lestat brought her back, and that he made some comments, which she took like that. I do think he searched for Bruce, and that he has kept track of him. I do think that he threatened her in a last ditch effort to dissuade her from leaving, running away. He knew what the rules were. He knew what would likely happen.

He knew the coven in Paris.

And he knew what her leaving would do to Louis.

Unfortunately, he and Claudia are very much alike, and so they butted heads very often. They also were very harsh with each other, because they saw each other quite clearly. While also knowing how to hurt the other - Lestat calls her "Evil of my evil" in the books, and I think that is very fitting... - and I think this plays into it also, that Claudia took the comments a certain way, and Lestat probably used sharp words, too.

The show uses that scene to make some very pointed commentary in setup and visuals. And wording. The dog once more, the cage. The luggage compartment.

But ... in-universe that scene is highly unlikely to have happened that way. Because there are logistics contradicting the train scene itself (Claudia's luggage. The tuba. How would that work on a moving train? The trains didn't go that often, and I doubt Claudia would have just acquiesced to hold onto Lestat herself while he carried the luggage if he would choose to fly with her... it just... doesn't make sense logistically. It's why I think the train was never moving, I think he picked her up at the station, OR even stopped her from leaving from home.)

There is also the tale-layer that needs to be considered here.

Louis says (in Dubai):

This is the part of my story, back in San Francisco, where you said, and I paraphrase, "Give it to me. Make me a vampire now."

So this is where he and Daniel ended up in the interview last time, this is where the previous interview stops.

This is where any previous knowledge Daniel has (or, better, remembers at this point) ends.

Louis repeats, that they came to the conclusion that they "had to kill Lestat". Twice. He wants it to land (but Daniel is asleep, drugged). He wants it to be understood, and that it does come across as inevitable. He wants the story shaped in a certain way, and he narrates what supposedly happened in that train car after the above comment.

I don't think that can be completely dismissed here, as with everything on this show.

Again, intentionally lying or not, or embellishing or not... it is what Louis has made of what Claudia chose to share.

And that is obviously colored by perception, and intent.

And the pain of memory.

So no, I do not think Lestat did it - like that.

I think he went after her, he might have threatened her and I'm sure there were some very harsh words, too.

But as shown? I doubt it.

[jazuthevulcanprincess]

i wanna kms so so bad so bad i can't stop thinking abt hurting myself i just cant do anything

my body hurts so fucking bad i spent all night crying bc my mom is drinking and imploding and weaponizes her incompetence to make me take care of everything she cant ever handle doing anything on her own but she acts like she doesnt do that

she doesnt understand how her flipping out over every inconvenience and not being able to self sooth and problem solve like an adult hurts me and makes me have to step in to solve it

and she has the audacity to say I chose her as my mothet i chose to be born to her what fucking utter bullshit

im only here with her so i can go to college bc i cant work and do school at the same time, and i cant afford my own life and i struggle not to kill myself at every job ive worked at

im so spoiled and stupid and worthless and fat and ugly and how could anyone ever love me like this, but I cant do any better i dont know how

im not gonna make it thru university i know it, she is gonna keep wearing me down anyway

i cant even read anything for studying i cant get my brain to focus i just keep crying i wish i could leave and take care of myself only

she will never stop using me for her comfort and making me take care of logistics and bills bc she will fuck it up bc she doesnt know how and doesnt want to learn or improve or stop drinking or take responsibility for anything shes ever done wrong in her life

im going to do no better. ive got no future. i cant even go to school how can i work?

ive been trykng to study for 3 days and i keep having to solve some problem or im just unable to read anything, took me 4 hours to do one homework yesterday bc i kept rereading the same lines over and over bc they didnt make sense, it was like pulling teeth to understand anything

and then i got the xmas tree and i had to find it cut it move it set it up etc and clean and whatever and my back and body hurt so badly bc im an out of shape lazy fat fuck who is too scared to excercise in public where people can see me but i also wont excercise indoors bc i hate floor routines i only like walking or ice skating

yoga hurts everything i do hurts and im too much of a weak coward to try to do a single fucking thing

theres nothing worth living for anyway i cant afford anything climate change is making everything worse people are cheering for genocide and capitalism will never leave and ill end up on the streets killing myself anyway so why bother

i cant relax and be vulnerable with anothe human being either so ill always be alone since i dont see that changing anytime soon

and my heart is constantly skipping anyway so ill probably have a heart attack in a few years or get lung cancer since i vaped for a year and have smoked weed for many more years

im a burden to everyone ive ever met including my mother so what the fuck is the point anyway

im only alive to take care of my cats and i cant even do that

[detached-emotions]

02:30 08/28/23

Tonight, my mother and I truly connected during a conversation about space, which was a departure from her usual religious perspective. Recently, she's become more open-minded. After watching a podcast interview featuring a woman who had been to space, she became captivated by the story and displayed genuine curiosity about the subject. As a child, I often tried sharing space facts with her, but my efforts were always brushed aside. Throughout my childhood, she ensured I had food on the table, even during tough times, but unfortunately, she never sought to understand me. What I craved most from her was her time and attention.

The fact that she's now showing interest in my past passions brings mixed feelings. My mother remarked on how mind-blowing it must be to experience space firsthand, leading us into a discussion about its logistics. I informed her that only a small percentage of the universe has been explored, which surprised her. This led her to share her thoughts on the potential afterlife, a departure from the beliefs she might have adhered to in her religious bubble. It's possible that her inclination to talk stems from my grandmother's illness, making her yearn for deeper connections, just as I do.

In contemplating the afterlife, she mused about its nature. I hinted at my own theories but hesitated to share them fully, not wanting to overwhelm her. I hold the belief that the mysterious dark matter in the universe serves as a barrier preventing us from going beyond a certain point. Furthermore, I believe that if we were to breach this barrier, we'd discover that the entire universe constitutes a single entity—an entity of energy, devoid of a perceivable physical form. Yet, it is sensed through infinite versions of itself, simulated within every individual on Earth. This concept explains phenomena like déjà vu, astral projection, ghosts, astrology, parallel universes, and even maladaptive daydreams. This is precisely why I chose to tread lightly with this explanation.

Simultaneously, I was cautious not to arouse suspicion, especially because I had relapsed into substance abuse. Regrettably, addiction has been my coping mechanism due to the trauma I experienced during my early years. A second addiction took hold at the end of 2020, a response to the dehumanizing environment I faced in my retail job. My previous supplier supported me until her arrest in March of 2021. I managed a period of sobriety until connecting with a new source on 4/20/2021. However, this pattern persisted until 7/08/2022, when my stash was discovered by my mother. While our trust wavered, we reconciled after I promised to confide in her if my depression reached the levels of last December. Unfortunately, I failed to uphold that promise, succumbing to a relapse on April 4th.

It's likely that my mother suspects my ongoing struggle, but given the myriad challenges we're currently facing, she might be letting go to some extent. I can't fault her for that, especially since I've been far from an honest and responsible daughter. Fortunately, I've managed to maintain employment, defying the stereotype of a lazy addict.

My lack of fear for the repercussions stems from the fact that my brain chemistry has undergone irreversible changes due to substance use. I've come to terms with this, as I don't anticipate surviving my twenties. My perspective isn't born out of melodramatics but rather a response to the grim state of the world. The current environmental crisis and the economic struggles leave me living paycheck to paycheck. Without my mother's support and that of her friend, I'd be homeless. Adulthood has proven to be a challenge, and my struggles are compounded by my C-PTSD and the early signs of schizophrenia that are emerging within my fragile mind.

Interestingly, at my workplace, I'm perceived as a well-behaved and somewhat aloof individual. Little do they know... Sometimes, I catch myself staring at my reflection, practicing various facial expressions as a means of disassociation. I prepare my "mugshot" expression, acknowledging the possibility that I might need it for a photo opportunity in the future.

LISTENING TO: 🎶“You’re going to reap just what you sow” 🎶 Perfect Day (Lou Reed song)

I'd like to share this picture with you. I've HEAVILY edited it, but the original artwork was created on a brick wall that had been scratched and colored with chalk on Friday. The creator remains anonymous; I stumbled upon this piece on the side of a building in a shady part of town while I was running errands.

[transformers-fan-continuities]

Spotlight: Ties That Bind

This one’s a doozy folks! If you missed the last spotlight you can go read it here, but strap in for The Ties That Bind, an absolutely brilliant take on humanformers. It’s hosted here at @tiesthatbind-tf​ created by @artsy-hobbitses​!

Q) Give us a run down of your cont! What's it about, what's it called, what's it like?

Ties That Bind is a humanformers-based original continuity which is part Science Fiction and part Alternate History where the invasion of Quintessons and introduction of their technology to Earth in 1920 sets the world and humankind on a completely different trajectory. The active narrative spans a period from 1920 to 2070, covering the First and Second Quintesson Wars, the interplanetary Antillan War (leading to the creation of Unicron on Mars) and the Great War which involves the Autobots, Decepticons and Functionist stalwarts, and how it affects the characters.

The cast is pretty sprawling and the narrative is mostly centred around human drama with bits of humor interspaced and a dash of horror (mostly centred around how the previous government often chose to utilize the technology left behind from the Quintesson Wars to create new systems of oppression, which affected many of the characters, in the name of worldwide rebuilding efforts).

Q) What characters take the lead here? Any personal favorites?

I will admit to this continuity being very much heavy on the relationship between Old Bastards  Optimus Prime and Megatron, which is given considerable weight as they were best friends who had known each other since childhood and were deeply intrinsic to each other’s growths as individuals, which makes it all the worse when guilt and betrayal enter the party. Despite being captains in two corners of this battle, there’s a part of them that just cannot let go of their pasts together and they need to reconcile with how this will affect their agenda (Megatron) and how they lead their team (Optimus) who don’t necessarily share their history.

Other characters with significant development include:

Starscream, a Cold Construct in a toxic working relationship with Megatron with whom he is hiding a dark secret, who struggles to balance the underhanded viciousness he believes he needs to gain power and his innate desire from his Senate days to make the world a better place. 

Windblade, a Camien native who fights her government’s apathy concerning the situation on Earth which they see as unsalvageable compared to their more Utopian society. 

Prowl, a Cold Construct raised from childhood to be a cop in a police state, who finds out that he was brainwashed several times  to ensure his obedience and efficacy as a government asset and is now working to reclaim some semblance of the humanity he was never allowed to feel and figure out how much of him is who he really is and how much is programming.

Hound, a sheltered Beastman who joined the fight to ensure that Beastmen the world over would have the same rights he did in his homeland of Shetland Isle, but is forcefully stripped of his humanity and faced with his animal side during the war and has to relearn what personhood means amid his trauma.

Q) Is there a bigger point to this, like a theme or some catharsis? Or is it just fluffy fun?

God with the amount of time I spent sleepless trying to figure out how the logistics of this or the semantics of that were supposed to work in universe, I cannot for the life of me say it’s fluffy fun, but I can’t exactly say it hasn’t been pretty engaging either!

There’s elements of war being messy for everyone involved where there doesn’t seem to be a clear line between friend and foe at times, but I think for most part it prescribes to  Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s belief that people are inherently good, but are corrupted by the evils of society. Despite its dark themes (Including but not limited to child abuse, torture, illegal experimenation  and brainwashing), love and friendships do prevail, kindness does beget kindness, found families are made, even the smallest actions matter, and things do get better because there are people on both sides who genuinely want to, and strive to make it better.

With Cold Constructs and Beastmen, it also delves heavily into what it means to be human; to have agency and personhood.

There’s also a strong undercurrent of taking responsibility for one’s actions, even if they were made with the best of intentions (Avoidance of this is what eats up Starscream and Megatron from the inside, and what Starscream eventually embraces).

Q) How long have you been working on it?

There’s two answers to this!

I’ve had a Humanformers-related universe going all the way back to 2007 around the time the first Bayformers came out---basically I had a choice between learning to draw cars or draw people (I was an anthro artist back then) and I immediately chose people.

The 2007 draft however had no worldbuilding or connective storylines and was mostly a fun little venture into character design and practice which were actually instrumental to me experimenting and learning how to draw humans properly.

I left the fandom for about a decade and when I came back to it in late 2020 around September via the War for Cybertron series on Netflix, I immediately got hooked on the 2005 IDW comics I missed out on and wanted to get around to updating my old designs as well find a way to translate several of the concepts I wanted to explore in a human sense, so the 2020 update became its own full-fledged original continuity with detailed worldbuilding and history.

You can see the artistic evolution of several characters from their original incarnation below!

Q) It’s incredible to see your artistic improvement too! Give us a behind-the-scenes look! Show us a secret ;))

Say hello to my workspace! I’ve been working exclusively on the Ipad Pro since late 2016, which is fantastic because I can basically whip up concepts and sketches on the go anywhere. Nowhere is too out of bounds to work on TTB!

Also, do enjoy this sneak peek at true!form Rung, whose synthezoid human body took years to perfect.

Q) YESSSSS alright I must admit this is one of my favorite Rungs, and certainly my fave within TTB. Amazing. Phew, anyway. Where did you draw inspiration from? What canons, what other fiction, what parts of real life?

TTB was initially conceived as a faithful retelling of the IDW 2005 narrative before it was transformed into its own continuity and as such, it borrows heavily from concepts and mirrored plot lines introduced in that run! I chose to have the series inspired off it specifically for the amount of history and worldbuilding it introduced to the franchise.

Anime like Gunslinger Girl and Beastars inspired the depictions of Cold Constructs, especially the more harrowing aspects of their upbringing as government assets instead of children, and Beastmen (Beastformers) in TTB.

I haven’t depicted the world itself in my art all too much, but the architecture from Tiger and Bunny, which has sort of a futuristic Art Deco feel to it, is what you’d usually see in major cities. There is an in-universe reason for that---with a Point Of Divergence set in 1920 followed by 25 years (an entire generation) of progress basically being kicked to the curb due to the Quintesson wars, mankind was basically in a time-locked bubble until the end of the wars, and by then their heroes were 1920s-style rebellion leaders, which lead to 1920s fashion (especially among the Manual Working Class---Megatron, Jazz and Optimus all rock 1920s fashion at some point of their lives) and architecture being celebrated and retained as sort of a reminder of how things were before The Invasion. This anime’s background design is also where I adopted the tiered system TTB’s major metropolises are often built on (with each tier being designated to a different working class) from.

The main artistic style itself is a love letter to 90s cartoons, in particular Gargoyles’ deep and drama-driven character narratives and designs as well as The Centurions’ take on body armor logistics.

I also take inspiration, especially armor-wise, from the characters’ given heritage and background. As an example, Hotrod who is depicted as Irish has the flames on his armor done up with Celtic knots. Welsh aristocrat Mirage’s armor bears olden knight-style filigree and has his Autobot logo designed as a coat of arms. Indonesian Soundwave’s armor and Decepticon logo takes cues from Batik and Wayang Kulit while their mask is based off the Barong.

Q) They are absolutely gorgeous! Show off something you're really proud of, a particular favorite part of your cont.

The worldbuilding in general! Most Humanformers I’ve seen tend to treat it like a fun exercise which it is and is definitely valid, but I found myself wanting a full-fledged world to lose myself in and I sought to try and make that world myself by drafting a detailed history and timeline of events which would affect ongoing narratives, having indepth worldbuilding to include almost all societal aspects of the universe and  expanding on the concept of Beastmen and Cold Constructs existing in a human setting.

I’m not so secretly proud of the research and diversity included to make the cast look like the multicultural, globally-based team that they were meant to be instead of being locked to a single region! My original draft from 2007 was, to put it simply, quite culturally monolithic and I wanted to improve on that aspect with TTB.

I’m also proud that I’ve kept to it this far! I’m a notoriously flaky person jumping from one idea/fandom to another and to have kept at this continuity for the better part of ten months is honestly a personal feat.

Art-wise, this scene depicting a young Megatron working alongside Terminus and Impactor (cameo by @weapon-up-wallflower​‘s OC Missit!)  is definitely one of my favorites since it helps build up the world they live in and plays to familial bonds and comfort found in one another despite their less than ideal circumstances.

Q) Everything has come together so beautifully, you absolutely should be proud. What other fan canons do you love and why? Would you like to see them interviewed?

I am dying to hear more from @iscaredspider​’s Sparkpulse continuity! Her designs are MIND-BLOWINGLY GORGEOUS and I want to hear more about what inspired her to work on it!

Also YOU. Yes YOU BLURRITO. LET ME HEAR MORE ABOUT SNAP.

Q) [wails and squirms away in the mortifying ordeal of being known but in a very flattered way] I WILL SOMEDAY I PROMISE aflghsdjg thank you QwQ

Well that was fantastic, Oni, thank you muchly! A magnificent continuity with so much to look forward to! Coming up next is another personal fave of mine, the first inspiration for SNAP, so stick around...

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Anyways it’s been a day and yes I’m still thinking about how THG is one of the better movie adaptations out there and that’s because it stayed true to the themes and core premise of the books while adapting what it needed for the sake of time and continuity in a cinematic format. Here’s a few reasons why:

- Suzanne Collins, the original author of the books, served as screenwriter for two of the films (The Hunger Games and The Mockingjay Part 1) now this is probably because she has prior screenplay knowledge, but like. that’s a MASSIVE point in THG’s favor. The original author had a very big say in how things played out. She even specifically requested Effie have a bigger role in Mockingjay because she understood that the film audience needed that personal connection they didn’t have with Katniss’s prep crew.

- The themes. I know a lot of people focus on how much the movies stray from the darker side of things (I’ll get to that in a moment) but I genuinely think they did a decent job of portraying them. You know what I hear most about Mockingjay? There are many people who haven’t read the books, who hate Mockingjay because it isn’t set in a Hunger Games. That it became too dark and depressing.

Yeah that’s right. They liked it when the movies were just about young adults killing one another for sport, but as soon as it shows its true colors on why that’s a cruel and twisted thing, they abandon ship. I think the movies do a good job of using the first two movies to set up for Mockingjay--in which everything THG is about is tied up into that final act.

(Side note, given how much happens in Mocking Jay, I actually do think it was smart for them to split that into two parts. Yes, more $ but are you going to sit there and tell me they could’ve been able to fit all of Mockingjay in a satisfying way into a single three hour movie?)

- A reason THG movies could’ve been less darker is the ratings. Just think about it logistically, there is a lot of stuff you can get a way with more in a book than a movie. They could’ve easily made the deaths a lot more graphic, as an example. Given their target audience was a teen demographic, they probably were worried about going too carried away with things.

- Every time this site talks about how “The Hanging Tree got turned into a club song and ruined the whole point of it” and “The movies played up the love triangle too much!” I feel like we’re taking too much into consideration on how the movies were advertised?? It was a post-Twilight era after all.

Because look. Guys, maybe the love triangle was played up a bit more in the movies but it still existed in the books? And also, I do think in-universe The Hanging Tree would be turned into a club song, I’m sorry, it just feels fitting for the universe asljdgkaslgjkls

- I actually think the actors did a great job portraying the characters? Particularly I love the movies portrayal of President Snow, Haymitch, Effie and Caesar Flickerman, those four knocked it out of the ball park. Yeah, it would’ve been cooler if they chose younger, actually-teenage actors for Katniss and Peeta, but given the limited hours minors can work in cinema, that was probably why they went with older actors.

- Speaking of which, I like the movie scenes excluding Katniss. I know in the novel it’s all Katniss’s first pov, but that’s REALLY hard to portray well in a cinematic setting. Whereas, these scenes feel like they could’ve been in the book and help supplement the movie audience’s understanding of the world and the stakes at play (Again, I think Collins having a direct influence on the THG scripts helped immensely).

- The movies do a decent job actually adapting most of the main events from the novel to the books. The only stuff that’s largely omitted are minor events or characters that would’ve made it hard to include in a condensed cinematic format.

None of what is cut out ever feels unnecessary and if you think long about it, it makes sense for why they cut the things they did. Yes, we miss out on things like Haymitch’s tragic Hunger Games but that wouldn’t have fit anywhere in the movie’s pacing.

Catching Fire is probably the closest film adaptation of the four and you can very easily read the novel alongside the movie and see how close they kept things (My sister did during one rewatch).

TLDR: THG movies are not perfect, but they’re one of the better book-to-movie adaptations out there and I’m tired of pretending otherwise.

[ectonurites]

so did tim drop out or graduate early

That depends on which continuity!

Pre-New 52, he dropped out to go on his search for Bruce and then just never went back

(Red Robin #17)

But in the New 52 he specifically mentions graduating super early

(Teen Titans Vol. 5 #24)

In terms of right now in continuity it's definitely a bit unclear because old stuff could become relevant again basically whenever, but I think it's far more likely they've stuck with 'graduated early' rather than bringing back the dropping out thing. I say this primarily because of the storyline about him potentially going to Ivy University from Detective Comics (and how even now in Infinite Frontier they referenced that again in Urban Legends)

Although honestly I think my ideal would be it getting established he did drop out like before, and then at some point took the GED or HiSET. Considering he's done an equivalency test in canon before for a different situation (since he had to leave Brentwood mid-year, he took a 10th grade equivalency exam in Robin #107) I feel it's something he'd be comfortable doing and honestly would probably prefer, and it could get us to the same point of 'he is done with high school now and could go to college some time soon if he chose to' that we know he's still at as of Urban Legends

Just... Tim being someone to graduate super early never sits right with me, I get the why like for the sake of 'they didn't want to deal with a school aspect in the New 52 Teen Titans book' but it just is not in-line with pre-reboot Tim's perspective on school at all (but New 52 Tim was drastically altered as a person, so I guess in that way it makes sense his outlook would be so different). Rebirth gave us a Tim that was a bit closer to his older self with his origin eventually restored but he was still in the genius nerd sphere (as in literally he got a genius grant for Ivy University) way more than he used to be. So I think it'd be nice to do a slight retcon like what I suggested above now that we're in the Infinite Frontier era, it would bring us back to that previous mindset Tim had about school (where he's smart and capable with stuff absolutely, but he's not Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius™ and school as an institution just isn't high on his priorities) but wouldn't change much logistically going forward if they wanted to continue exploring him maybe starting college.

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 35

A/N:  Alright folks...here she is: the last chapter.  To say that I love all of you so much and appreciate with my entire life every like, reblog, comment, tag comments, canon question, ask, etc. would be an understatement.  You guys TRULY make my stories what they are and encourage me to write and post every single week.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you thank you thank you ❤️

Like with all my stories, there will be epilogues for Aberdeen and Willy so we see into their future.  I’m not sure how many I have planned -- probably three right now, thinking of four, depending on how I split things up.  

After the epilogues are posted, I will be starting my new Brock Boeser mini-series “Peaceful Easy Feeling”.  Stay tuned for a post date -- check my Masterlist for future reference.

Without further ado...

August 31st, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was looking into William’s eyes.

They were getting Korean walnut cakes from Hodo Kwaja.  They were out in the open.  Alone on Bloor Street West, in Little Korea, where no-one would recognize him.  He convinced her.  She couldn’t hold back anymore.  She’d tried so hard and she’d succeeded for months – fuck, the better part of a year at this point – and now, she just wanted to have a date out in the open with her boyfriend instead of having to drive to some park on the lakeshore in Etobicoke to secretly hook up in his car.  

“These better be good,” William said as he looked away briefly at the shop owner making a new batch of cakes behind the glass wall.  Even though they were both wearing masks, Aberdeen could tell he was smirking.  “When you say bean paste…”

“I promise you,” she stressed.  “They’re amazing.”

“You wanna bring them to Christie Pitts after?” William asked, reaching for her hand.

Aberdeen nodded.  This was the first time he’d reached for her hand in a public place.  She’d always remember Hodo Kwaja as the place now.  They could never close or tear this bakery down.  “We can eat them under a tree or something.”

“Romantic.”

“I try to be,” she said.  “Especially with my boyfriend.”

“Especially when we’re out in public.”

She crinkled her face.  So did William.  He pulled her into his body and wrapped an arm around her.  They were silent for a few moments before William decided to speak again.  “You should try calling Beth,” he whispered, his voice low.  “You said Alec wouldn’t get back to you, but Beth might.  She’d let you know whether or not they chose to publish the article.”

A shiver ran up Aberdeen’s spine.  “Maybe I’ll email her or something,” she said.  “Alec’s silence speaks volumes though.  I don’t think—”

“Fuck that guy,” William interrupted.  “Call Beth.  Call her.  Maybe she rooted for you.”

The shopkeeper handed Aberdeen the brown bag full of walnut cakes, and she paid for them.  She grabbed at William’s hand and their fingers intertwined before leaving the shop.  “I just think I would have known by now,” Aberdeen mused.  “I mean, the new issue will hit newsstands soon.  Usually they’d tell the writers.”

“Call her,” William urged.  “You’ll never know if you don’t call.”

They walked down the street hand in hand.  It was dusk outside, the hot and humid air of the city finally giving way to a nice breeze that cooled everything down.  Aberdeen’s dress swayed back and forth as they walked towards Christie Pitts, switching subjects to the next bakery they should try.  William made Aberdeen laugh recounting the story of how much Cam loved the Swedish pastries he brought the family during his surprise Christmas visit.  Aberdeen’s heart swelled when William brought her hand up to his lips and kissed where the ring was – the ring he got her, which she’d been wearing ever since.  

As they passed by all the different storefronts – most closed, saved for a few convenience stores or 24 hour laundromats – they both noticed a loading truck parked by the curb with two men going in and out of it, hauling new magazines and the next day’s newspapers into the shop.  William made them stop.  He watched them for a few seconds.

“What are you doing?” Aberdeen asked him.

“Excuse me, sir?” he ignored her, instead calling out to one of the men hauling in the newspapers.  The man looked at him.  “Are those next month’s magazine issues?”

“Of course they are.”

“William—”

“Do you have the new issue of Toronto Life?”

“William—”

“We’ve got everything in the truck, bud,” the other man said, setting down a huge stack of Vogue magazines all bundled together.  “Either you wait or you jump in there yourself to get it.  

William looked between the truck and the men.  He let go of Aberdeen’s hand abruptly.  Her eyes bulged out of their sockets.  “William what are you doing?!” she asked as she watched him climb into the back of the loading truck.

“What do you think?!” he called back out.  “It’ll be a good off-season workout finding the stack!”

“William!” she repeated for what felt like the umpteenth time.

“Oh!  They’re right here!  They’re covered but…” he trailed off.  Aberdeen held her breath.  He emerged hauling a giant wrapped stack – you couldn’t see anything besides the white paper covering it and the plastic ties tying them all together.  He jumped off the back of the truck.  The two men were just watching him.  “You got scissors?” he asked them.

One of them handed him an exacto knife.  William cut off the plastic zipties.

“William, stop,” Aberdeen pleaded.  She wasn’t ready.  She wasn’t ready to know yet.  She had to psych herself up for the inevitable disappointment of not seeing her name on the cover, not seeing her article anywhere in the magazine, and she wasn’t given ample time to do that.  She knew William was being William – proud and spontaneous and excited on her behalf instead of riddled with anxiety and doubt and all the bad things one could be riddled by when their dream job was in their midst but definitely out of their grasp because of an asshole editor – but she needed time to process that she was going to be faced with a huge disappointment.  She needed time to process that she would have to keep looking for a writing job.

William could hear the fear in her voice.  He could sense her uncertainty and her anxiety about it all.  He stood up from his crouching position.  “Hey…” he said softly, taking a step towards her.  He grabbed her hand again and held it in his.  “Minskatt, don’t be nervous.”

“I need time to psyche myself up for not seeing my name on there,” she said.  She felt her phone buzzing aggressively through her purse but she decided to ignore it.  “It’s gonna hurt, Willy.”

He squeezed her hand tighter.  “Are you listening?”

The question they’d always ask each other.  “Yes.”

“Remember what you told me before and after the bubble?  That no matter what happened, you’d love me no matter what?” he asked.  Aberdeen nodded her head.  “Whatever happens here…whether you got it or not…minskatt, I’ll love you no matter what.”

His words were so soothing.  And as always, they were so simple, but so perfect.  They immediately put her at ease despite all the anxiety she was feeling, that had rushed upon her within just minutes.  She nodded her head slightly as she squeezed his hand back.  “Can I open it?” he asked.

She nodded her head.  

He crouched down again and ripped open the packaging.  Aberdeen took a step forward and looked down to see the iconic red rectangle header.  And then the headline.

The Bubble Diaries: Aberdeen Bloom explores the characters, stories, and all-too-real tribulations inside the NHL’s Eastern hub.  

Aberdeen’s entire body jolted up, and she let out a short and quick scream as the bag of walnut cakes went flying.

Then she realized what this meant.

And she screamed at the top of her lungs.  

William’s eyes lit up as he heard the shriek – the entire city heard the shriek.  He watched as she started jumping up and down through more shrieks before he got up himself.  Aberdeen jumped on him – just fully and completely jumped into and onto him – and he caught her expertly in his arms as she shrieked in his ear.

“They did it!  THEY DID IT!” she screamed as he set her down.  She bent down to pick up a copy of the magazine and shrieked again as she held it in front of her.  Maybe this was a fever dream.  Maybe she was delirious.  Maybe the gratuitous walnut cake the bakery gave her to try before ordering was laced with some hallucinogenic and she was imagining things.

No.  That was her name attached to the article.  That was her name on the cover of Toronto Life magazine.

“You did it, minskatt,” William said as he reached up to her face to pull her mask down, planting a giant kiss on her lips.  The energy was radiating off of her.  She was a ball of sunshine, a star radiating energy bigger and better than anything in the universe.  “You did it.  I’m so proud of you.”

“I can’t believe it!  I can’t – oh – oh my GOD Willy!” she was still shocked.  “I—they—I’m published!  I’M PUBLISHED!”

“Your name is on the cover of a damn magazine, minskatt!” he giggled.  

“My name is on the cover of a damn magazine!” she repeated more emphatically, kissing him again.  “I can’t – I – oh my God – oh my God my phone is…” she trailed off, feeling her phone buzzing violently from her purse again.  

She pulled it out and saw Beth Zadakis’s name flash across the screen.  She immediately picked up.  “Beth!”

“Surprise,” she practically purred into the phone.  “I’m assuming you saw it just posted on our website?  Alec was overruled.  He knew he would be.  The way you wrote about the boys, Aberdeen…there’s no way we couldn’t publish it.”

“Thank you.  Thank you,” she stressed, putting her hand over her heart.  “From the bottom of my heart Beth, thank you.”

“You should celebrate, Aberdeen.  We’ll discuss the logistics of your new position with Toronto Life later,” she said.  “It’s not every day that a novice writer gets the lead cover story.  Pop a bottle of champagne.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Aberdeen hung up.  She looked into William’s eyes.

She did it.

***

September 4th, 2020

Aberdeen walked into the MLSE offices like she was going to work.  Except she wasn’t.  

Brendan had called her in for one last meeting.  He didn’t say it would be their last, but both of them knew it would be their last.  It was bittersweet, of course.  Aberdeen had walked these halls for a year.  She’d walked in on the team nearly naked on her first day.  She’d tried to pick up a hockey bag and fell over.  She’d taken countless calls from very important people she had no idea existed before this job.  She’d gotten called out by her boss for being an idiot.  She’d walked Niklas Lidstrom through the halls to impress her boss.  She’d waited countless hours for jersey proofs.  She’d made friends.  She’d made enemies.  She’d learned the game of hockey.  She’d travelled countless miles up and down the steps and up and down the elevators to the ice, to the locker room, to the offices, and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. 

She ran into her summertime hookup in the elevator on her first day.  She’d fallen in love with him in these hallways.

It all happened here.

When she approached the doors of Brendan’s office, and looked at her desk – well, now her former desk, she felt her heart flutter.  This was it.  She stepped into the doorway and saw him looking out his window.  She knocked.

He turned around, giving her the proudest smile she’d probably ever received from a boss.  She took off her mask so he could see her smiling too.  “Hi Brendan.”

“Aberdeen.  Sit,” he nodded towards the chairs.  This was where she cried and told him she’d been sexually harassed in the kitchen.  This was where he fired Ethan.  This was where he’d bared his soul to her after the Leafs lost to a Zamboni driver.  She took a seat.

“I’m so incredibly proud of you,” he said after looking at her for a few moments.  “What you’ve been able to accomplish in a year is outstanding, Aberdeen.”

“I would be remiss if I didn’t thank you,” she began.  “You had the biggest role to play in this by setting up that meeting in the first place.  None of this would have happened if it weren’t for you.”

Brendan shook his head.  “I didn’t write that article, Aberdeen.  You did,” he said sternly.  To think that he had the faith in her to put the meeting together in the first place, knowing she could pull it off, spoke volumes.  He was definitely her most powerful supporter.  “I keep reading and re-reading it and I find new things to admire every time.”

She smiled humbly.  “Thanks.”

Brendan paused for a moment.  “You know, Aberdeen…most people would have sold us out,” he said.  She nodded her head, understanding what he was getting at.  He knew – he knew the demands Alec put on her.  Beth must have told him, because she certainly didn’t say a word about it.  “It…it speaks absolute volumes to your character that they demanded that scoop for you but you refused to give it and instead relied on your talent to get you the job anyway.”

She nodded.  She could read between the lines.  “Thank you.”

“You’ve got some fucking guts on you, kid.”

They both giggled.  “I guess being around some gutsy hockey players did me some good this year,” she joked.

“I’ll say,” he said.  “All the boys know.  They love it.”

“I know.  I got texts from pretty much all of them.  Travis sent me a picture of his dogs reading it too.”

“That last night in the bubble, when I told you that you were the soul of this team, I meant it,” he said.  “And I don’t think…I don’t…well, I don’t think it was a big secret that William had a thing for you since that first day in the elevator.  And I know…well, I think we’re all aware the feeling is mutual.”

Aberdeen gulped.  She felt like she already died and got rigor mortis in that tiny amount of time.  So they were going to go there.  Brendan was bringing it up with absolutely no shame.  On her last day.  Last meeting.  She looked him in the eye.  “Am I safe to assume that nothing happened between the two of you in the year you were here?” Brendan asked.  

She could do it right now.

Be honest.  

She was leaving, after all.

And she had the job already.  

She looked Brendan right in the eyes.  

“No sir,” she shook her head.  “I…it was clear to me at the beginning too, and…and the feelings did grow on my end as well, I will admit that.”

“So the feeling is mutual, then.”

“Yes sir.”

“And I’m also correct to assume that once you leave these doors and employed by Toronto Life, you two will get together?”

She was already lying to the man she respected most in this world; there was no use in lying even more.  “Y—Yes.  I—I…” she hesitated.  She took a deep breath.  “William waited for me, Brendan.  He waited for me this entire time.  I don’t want to make him wait any longer.  I don’t want to wait any longer, either.”

Aberdeen didn’t know what she was expecting, but she definitely wasn’t expecting Brendan to smile.  “Understandable,” he said.  “I could see it at the Christmas party – William’s crush on you.  And I kept wondering to myself if he ever…well, you know, acted on it.  Told you, at least.”

“Didn’t need to tell me.  It was pretty apparent,” she smiled slightly.  “He wears his heart on his sleeve.  Well, at least for me.”

Brendan nodded his head.  There was a moment of silence between them.  “You’re welcome here whenever you want,” he said.  “In this office, in the arena, in the back – whenever.  You’re family now, Aberdeen.  And you’ll always be family.  I’ll make it a clause in the contracts all the future presidents sign that Aberdeen Bloom can come in and do whatever she wants in this building.”

She giggled slightly.  “Who are you kidding?  You’ll be the president of this hockey club ‘till the day you die.  Tanenbaum won’t let you leave.  There won’t be any others.”

“Are you going to write my biography when it’s time?”

“If you let me.”

Brendan stood up from his chair.  He extended his hand across his desk.  Aberdeen hadn’t touched another human being since March 13th besides her family and William.  She extended hers to shake his hand.  “Aberdeen Bloom, my Etobicoke girl, it’s been a pleasure,” Brendan was proud, so proud of her.

“Brendan Shanahan, it’s been an honour,” she replied.  

He side-stepped around his desk, and Aberdeen knew what was coming.  She knew she wasn’t going to be able to leave the offices without one.  It was another thing that she’d only given to her family members and to William since March 13th – a hug.  But in that moment, she wrapped her arms around Brendan, and he wrapped his arms around her, and they hugged each other tightly.  Aberdeen could smell his cologne.  She heard him sniffle.  She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t start crying as well.  “Thank you, Brendan,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome.”

She sighed.  When he let go of her, he kept his hands on her shoulders as he looked down at her.  “William’s coming to pick you up?” he asked.  She smiled and nodded her head.  “Jason’s around the building somewhere.  For negotiations.  You should find him.  He’ll want to see you before you leave.”

Aberdeen nodded her head.  “I’ll find him.”

She left his office, closing the door behind her.  She felt a heavy feeling in her heart, knowing it would be the last time she’d exit Brendan’s office, no longer his executive assistant.  Now, she was a writer at Toronto Life magazine.  And before she could process that thought, she had to find Jason.

As she wandered through the building, popping into rooms and asking whoever she saw if they knew were Jason was, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket and knew, like a sixth-sense, that it was William.  She stopped walking so she could look at the message.

i like this one

He’d attached a quick video Aberdeen had taken the other night.  The video couldn’t have been more than four of five seconds long.  In the first second, the video showed hands being held, one hand dragging forward the other.  In the second second, the camera panned upwards.  In the third second, the video showed the back of a figure, with increasingly long blonde hair, broad shoulders, and a stupidly expensive designer t-shirt on with the CN Tower in the background at sunset.  In the fourth second, the head turned, and the face smiled at whoever was behind the camera.  It was all a bit blurry.  It was all a bit fast.

It was William looking at her.

She promised him she’d post whatever he wanted to her Instagram feed once they could be official, and out in the open, not having to hide anything anymore.  He wouldn’t dare post anything on his feed, so Aberdeen would.  She understood why.  Even now, even though they could be out in the open with their friends and family, with William’s teammates and Aberdeen’s extended friend circle, William wanted to keep their relationship out of the spotlight.  Judging by what she’d gone through with the media and what she’d seen herself in the year she worked for the team, she understood completely.

She found the video in her own camera roll, editing the colour tones slightly before uploading it to her own Instagram feed with a simple caption: ❤️

She continued to look for Jason.  And in looking for Jason, her phone kept going off.  It was almost annoying, but she knew it was all the guys probably commenting something on the photo.  After a particular string of constant notifications when she walked into the trainer’s room hoping to find Jason – which at this time last year would have been filled with shirtless, half-naked hockey players with their thighs and bulges out rolling on foam rollers, but was now empty – she couldn’t help but take her phone out again to see what the hell they were commenting.

@austonmatthews: FUCKING FINALLY

@travisdermott: awwwww s’cute

@tysonbarrie4: look at you lovebirds!

@rasmussandin: he likes lasagna!!!!!  gotta make sure u learn how to make it

@1jackcampbell: you guys!!! What a bunch of beauties <3

@morganrielly: i second what @austonmatthews said

@buzzinb0831: YOU GUYS ARE THE CUTEST

@marner_93: finallyyyyyyyyyyy

@aleidacasillasandersen: Cute cute cute!

@kasperikapanen: cn tower…shocker

She couldn’t help but smile at them all.  Especially Auston’s.  That twerp.  

Without warning, William’s name flashed across the screen for a phone call.  She immediately picked up.  “Hey.”

“Hi minskatt,” his voice was sing-songy.  “Did you talk to Brendan?”

“Yeah,” she said, looking down at the floor.

“Was it bittersweet?”

“Mhm,” she nodded her head.  “I know this is what I’ve dreamt of for the longest time, but I can’t picture myself not coming into this office every morning during the new season.  I haven’t quite wrapped my head around it yet,” she admitted.

“I get it.  It’s okay,” William said.  “The team’s gonna miss you.  Brendan’s gonna get a new assistant and he or she is gonna have some huge shoes to fill.”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but smile.  “He asked about us, you know.”

“He did?”

“He said it wasn’t a big secret that you had a thing for me since the first day in the elevator.  He also said everyone is pretty much aware the feeling is mutual.”

“And?”

“And…he asked if anything had happened between the two of us.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Well I didn’t exactly tell Brendan fucking Shanahan that we randomly hooked up the night of my graduation.  And I didn’t exactly tell him we’ve been secretly hooking up and in a relationship since January,” Aberdeen said.  “But I told him the feeling was mutual, and that we’d both waited long enough, and the second I walked out of those doors I wasn’t going to make you wait anymore.”

“Okay…” she could hear William exhale.  “Okay.”

“I lied to him, Will.  I know.  I lied to him about the last nine months.  Hell, I’ve lied to everyone these past nine months about us being together.  About our feelings, about your late-night visits to my hotel rooms and us hooking up.  About loving you.  About being with you.  I’ve lied about everything.  Everything.”

“We’ve lied to everyone about everything in the last nine months,” William corrected her sternly.  “You’re not alone in this.  You know that.  We lied to everyone.  We kept it a secret.  But none of that matters, Aberdeen.  What matters is that we get to be open about it now.  That’s all that matters.  That’s it.”

Aberdeen nodded her head.  She knew he was right.  She collected herself so she didn’t get emotional on the phone.  God knows if she shed at least one tear and then found Jason, Jason would automatically be able to tell.  “I just have to find Jason to say goodbye and then I’m out of here.”

“I’m actually already waiting outside, so take your time,” William said.  “I’ll be here whenever.  Take as long as you want.”

“I love you, William.”

“I love you too, minskatt.  I’ll see you soon.”

Aberdeen locked her phone.  She took another deep breath, replaying the conversation in her mind, before resolving to find Jason.  She turned around to keep searching.

Only to find Jason standing a few feet behind her.  

When she saw the look on his face, she knew immediately that he’d heard every single word of the conversation she’d just had.  Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach.  No – her heart dropped into the depths of hell.  Her breath caught in her throat.  She felt like her entire body was on fire.  “Jason,” was all she could say.  

“January,” was all he said.

Her hands began to shake.  She reached out to him.  “Jason—”

“Don’t,” his tone was harsh, and his entire arm flinched away from her.  She tried to say something but nothing would come out.  “Since January, Aberdeen?  January?!”

“Jason, please—”

“I don’t – I – late night visits to hotel rooms?!” his voice kept rising as he verbally began to piece all the information together.  “How – how could you?!”

“Jason, I can explain—”

“No!  No you can’t explain!  There’s nothing to explain in a situation like this!  You lied to us!  You lied to all of us!” he kept saying, his voice strained.  He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.  He couldn’t believe the words that had come out of Aberdeen’s mouth.  “Aberdeen, I went to bat for you time and time again.  I looked out for you this entire fucking year and this is what you were doing behind my back?  Hooking up with William Nylander?!”

“Ja—”

“You promised me, Aberdeen.  You promised me that day that guy stalked you that there was nothing happening between the two of you.  I took your word for it, Aberdeen.  And William – William promised me nothing was going on that night you got stitches.  And now you’re telling me this has been going on since January?!”

“Since the Night With the Blue and White,” she said, voice strained, tears welling in her eyes now.  There was no use in lying to him.  He was Jason Spezza.  “The first time it happened was that night when I got home.  When we got home.  I can’t – I couldn’t…”

Jason was quiet, but she could hear how heavy he was breathing through his nose.  She knew he was trying to calm himself down so he didn’t blow up at her.  At this moment in time, though, she wasn’t so sure he’d be able to do it.  “I can’t believe you’d do this to the team.  To me.  To Brendan,” he stressed.  His voice was calm.  Eerily calm.  “I never want to speak to you again.”

Aberdeen’s cheeks flushed red with emotion almost instantly.  No.  It couldn’t end like this.  It couldn’t.  She tried reaching out to touch him again, but he flinched once more and took a few steps back to distance himself from him.  “Jason—no—please—let me explain—”

His next words cut Aberdeen like a knife.  He looked her dead in the eye.  “I’ve never been more disappointed in you.”

A sob escaped her and she covered her mouth, but it was no use.  Tears were streaming down her cheeks like Niagara Falls and her heart was sliced into a million pieces as she watched Jason turn around and walk out of the room, not bothering to look back at her.  

What hurt most of all was that so much love goes into disappointment.  Someone can still love you but be disappointed in you and that was infinitely, infinitely worse than someone hating you.  It hurt so much more.  Jason wasn’t wrong when he said he’d looked out for her this entire year.  He wasn’t wrong when he said he’d went to bat for her this year.  He’d done all those things out of love, because he cared for her, because he wanted to see her succeed in an environment that was, historically, not kind at all to young women.  He’d done it to look out for her, to make sure she didn’t get hurt, to make sure she got where she wanted to go.

Jason Spezza was disappointed in her.  And that hurt more than anything else.

Aberdeen sat down in the middle of the room and began sobbing.

***

William was scrolling through his phone when he noticed Aberdeen walking speedily towards his car.  He unlocked the doors and slipped into the passenger seat, taking off her mask and throwing it onto the dashboard.

He immediately saw that her entire face was red, and her eyes were practically bloodshot.  “What happened, minskatt?” he asked.

She looked like she was going to cry again.  She turned her head towards him.  “Jason overheard our conversation.”

William stopped breathing momentarily.  “So he knows.”

She nodded her head, face scrunching up to stop tears from falling.  “He said he never wants to speak to me again.  And he said he’s never…he’s never been more disappointed in me.”

“Hey—hey, c’mere,” he said, grabbing her chin and leaning over the centre console to give her a loving kiss, feeling the tears stream down her face.  He continued to kiss her for as long as he could.  “It’s gonna be okay, minskatt.  It’s going to be okay.”

“No it’s not,” she shook her head vehemently.  “It’s not going to be okay.  It’s not.”

“Yes it will.  He’ll get over it.”

“No he won’t,” she was steadfast.  “He hates me William, and he never wants to speak to me again and he’s disappointed in me.  He’s not gonna just get over me lying to him for the past nine months.”

“We lied to him,” William clarified for her again, like he did on the phone.  “We lied.  He’ll be madder at me than you.  He’ll get over it.  It’s going to be okay.”

Aberdeen shook her head.  She wanted to believe him – she really did, but her mind was all over the place right now.  “But what if it’s not?” she asked.

“Are you listening?” he asked.

She visibly calmed down at the question.  “Yes.”

“It’s going to be okay because I love you, minskatt.  Because we love each other.”

She nodded her head.  He loved her.  She knew he loved her, and that he would for the rest of their lives.  And she’d love him too.  That brought her more solace than anything.  “I love you too, William.”

He gave her one last, long, lingering kiss before he put the car in drive.  He fiddled with his phone to start the music, the opening notes of “Quitting You” by the Arkells playing through the speakers.  He grabbed Aberdeen’s hand and held it in his enormous one, bringing to his lips and kissing it tenderly and holding it against his heart momentarily before settling it on his lap.  She looked out the window at 50 Bay Street, saying goodbye.

She looked at William.  The man she loved.

[kiingocreative]

The Structure of Story is now available! Check it out on Amazon, via the link in our bio, or at https://kiingo.co/book

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Whether I’m writing or reading, I personally love a story that portrays the full complexity of the human experience, in all its glorious intricacy and wonderful contradictions.

As we as a society become more open to talking about the hard stuff, the things that might have been swept under the carpet are starting to emerge in modern culture and literature. We’re more receptive to hearing about those challenging and vulnerable experiences.

In this, however, lies a common trap: as hard topics become more common and popular, how can we as writers ensure we treat them in a way that’s respectful, authentic, and non-trivialising?

What’s a Hard Topic?

First things first, when I talk about ‘hard topics’, I'm referring to those challenging and traumatic experiences people go through that have a profound impact on their lives.

Here’s a non-extensive list, in no particular order: physical, emotional or sexual abuse; assault; trauma / PTSD; suicide; addiction; depression; mental illness; terminal illness; eating disorders; grief; miscarriage; racial or gender-based prejudice; etc.

Why the Need for TLC, You Ask?

Engaging readers emotionally is the best way to get them hooked onto the story you’re trying to tell. And for readers to become emotionally invested in your story, you have to give them a plot and characters that are plausible, convincing and relatable.

As someone who has suffered abuse and depression, I find nothing worse than reading a story that treats those topics too lightly or portrays a limited or romanticised experience of it. I find it alienating, and almost offensive.

3 Ways to Deal with Hard Topics

Through my own writing experimentation, as well as conversations and interviews with fellow writers, I’ve identified three main ways of dealing with hard topics:

1. Draw From Your Own Experience.

The best way to paint a plausible picture is to draw on your own experiences. Yes, different people go through different events in their own, unique way, and we can’t claim to paint all traumatic experiences with the same brush.

That said, even though your individual experience may not be the exact same as the next person, drawing from your own life will give your retelling of it a sense of authenticity that other readers will more easily be able to relate to.

Author Lauren Dow says she started writing her semi-autobiographical book *In Body I Trust* as a therapeutic endeavour to help her navigate through her own experience of depression and battling eating disorder. Through her writing, she ‘turned her eating disorder into a living, breathing person with a face, a story, and a name’ that other people might be better able to relate to and engage with.

Suffering can be both incredibly unique and widely universal. Sharing your own story through your writing, even when fictionalised, is a great way to give others a chance to realise they’re not alone in what they’re going through. They’re more likely to connect with some, if not all, facets of one’s genuine experiences, which in turn instils a sense of trust between writer and reader and creates a bond that will make them want to keep reading your work.

2. Put Your Research Hat On.

This isn’t to say writers can only ever write about trauma if they’ve experienced firsthand — as much as the world likes to paint traditional writers as tortured, broken souls, thankfully we know that’s not the case.

If you’re writing about a topic you haven’t yourself experienced yourself, the best way to go about it is to educate yourself on it, ideally by hearing other people’s real life accounts.

In an interview I conducted with author Kristen Granata for The Indie Writers Collective, she explained that although some of her writing is inspired by her own difficult experiences, she’s always ‘looking to talk about topics [she hasn’t] experienced [herself] to give people who have had those experiences a voice and a platform to tell their story’.

This involves a great amount of research, she says, to make sure she doesn’t get it wrong. In What’s Left of Me in fact, she asked people she knew had gone through domestic abuse and miscarriage to share their stories and then weaved in unaltered chunks of their narrative into the storyline to make it more raw and authentic.

3. When in Doubt, Don’t

If you’re unsure about how to handle a hard topic, my golden rule is to avoid it entirely.

No, going through depression is not the same as being sad or feeling blue. It’s a state of mind that both numb you to the extreme and bring you on the verge of imploding with a burning intensity you never knew was possible, and leave you wondering what the point of going on living even is.

No, experiencing grief isn’t just difficult. It’s soul-crushing and life-ending and heart-breaking in ways one cannot begin to comprehend unless they’ve gone through it.

No, facing abuse isn’t only about the physical ‘logistics’ of the act. It’s a state of constant and long-lasting fear and agony that can permeate every moment of your waking life. It comes across in the way you speak and breathe and hold yourself physically, and it shapes the person you become.

Some writers actually choose to steer clear of some of those more challenging topics unless they have experienced them themselves. Dealing with any one of these issues too lightly, romanticising it or trivialising it runs the risk of alienating your reader. It risks leaving them feeling betrayed and angry, and turning them away from your work entirely.

I cannot stress this enough: howsoever you chose to handle those difficult topics, you absolutely have to treat them with the utmost care. You need to give them room in your story to paint the right picture. If you’re not able or ready to draw on your own experience, or not willing to put in the work needed to do extensive research, then it’s safer to give those topics a miss entirely.

Keep this all in mind, if not for your own sake — readers will rarely give an author they didn’t like the first time around a second chance, which impacts the reviews they’re likely to leave and ultimately your book sales — then for the sake of the people out there who have had to live through incredible difficult and traumatic episodes and deserve to have these topics handled with respect.

[riversofmars]

Hi all! So sorry this update took a while, I got side-tracked with the RiverDoctorPromptWeek which was a lot of fun :D But now that that's over, back to business! Hope you like this next chapter! <3

Chapter 13: Into the Lion’s Den

Torchwood Two Hub, 2021

“I did not expect that to be down here,“ Jenny observed, sounding thoroughly impressed as they followed the Doctor into the Torchwood Two hub.

“Looks can be deceiving,“ Vastra mused but she was surprised as well. Humanity really had improved on their defences since the time they lived in.

“Thank you for coming, Doctor,“ Kate greeted them, her expression one of relief. She felt better already for having them here. She looked the Doctor up and down, her new body would take a bit of getting used to but her identity was still unmistakable.

“That’s… the Doctor?“ Gwen raised her eyebrows, mumbling to Martha who was just as surprised.

“I’m sorry to be pulling you away from whatever you’ve got going on…“ Kate hadn’t expected the Doctor to arrive with as big an entourage as she had. She eyed the Doctor’s numerous companions with interest and, in the Master’s case, concern.

“I actually think both our problems might be connected.“ The Doctor didn’t stop to chat, she carried on along the corridor to where she presumed the main working area was.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a cell, would you?“ Vastra asked, giving Kovarian a little shove to walk along.

“Who is she?“ Kate asked with a frown.

“Long story but locking her up would be most helpful,“ the Doctor retorted.

“I’ll see to that,“ Gwen volunteered. They were set up for all eventualities in the hub.

“These are my friends Vastra, Jenny and Strax.“ The Doctor made their introductions as they reached the main area.

“And this…“ Kate had read the files on what had happened with Daniel Barton. It couldn’t possibly be…

“Oh don’t mind me…“ The Master looked around the room, hands in his pockets managing to somehow look bored, and yet scan his surroundings with interest. It was disconcerting.

“Doctor is this a good idea?“ Kate reached for the Doctor’s arm and stopped her in her tracks.

“I told you, I was busy too, there is a lot going on…“ The Doctor replied, watching, as the two Osgoods regarded the Master with surprise and distrust. The last time they had encountered the Master hadn’t ended well. She chose to disregard it for the moment, there were far greater concerns. “You said there were disappearances and potentially experiments going on? Any idea where I can find whoever is behind this?“

“We lost contact with Ryan, Graham and Jack when they were following a lead to an address that seemed to be connected to this project.“ One of the Osgoods spoke up, trying her best to ignore the Master who seemed to be intent on freaking them out as much as possible. He maintained a predatory smirk and mumbled threats. The Doctor hated his sense of humour.

“Daniel Barton is providing funds, that’s about all we know. The address was planted as a trap, we should have realised that,“ Kate continued ruefully.

“We had but they wanted to investigate regardless,“ Martha interjected. It wasn’t that they hadn’t realised that it was a trap, they had just decided to take the risk and it hadn’t paid off.

“Daniel Barton, eh?“ The Doctor regarded the Master with a frown.

“I don’t know what you’re looking at me for,“ the Master snapped, taking her meaning.

“Well, it’s quite the coincidence, isn’t it,“ the Doctor shot back sarcastically.

“Well, who knows maybe it was the Thirteen all along that’s been playing you and been working with the Kassavin.“ The Master rolled his eyes at her.

“Very funny.“

“Just saying, maybe I have been a good boy all along,“ he carried on mockingly.

“Shut up,“ the Doctor groaned, annoyed. She felt herself being pulled back and forth between wanting to trust him and remembering that experience had taught her not. The Master had been a genuine help at Demon’s Run - in his own destructive way, but a help nonetheless. But for whatever reason, the coincidences just kept happening, stacking the deck against him. It was beginning to look purposeful.

“So what is he doing here?“ Martha asked with distaste, recalling her own unpleasant experiences with the renegade Time Lord.

“I found him,“ the Doctor answered vaguely.

“Is he connected to this somehow?“ Kate asked, wondering if it might not be advisable to put him in a cell as well.

“Don’t know yet,“ the Doctor replied thoughtfully and the Master groaned, exasperated.

“Doctor, for the last time, I was sitting on Gallifrey while all this happened…“

“Then why does he have your face?!“ She snapped and he just stared her down, holding her intense, questioning gaze.

“I’m not following…“ Martha shook her head to herself.

“Nothing for your weak little ape brains to worry about!“ The Master exclaimed with surprising rage.

“Get it together,“ the Doctor snarled, her voice threatening as she stepped up to him.

“Stop goading me. I don’t know anything about it.“ The Master didn’t move back, if anything, he stepped even close, his eyes twinkling with madness, his darker instincts seemed to be struggling for control and he was just about holding them at bay.

“Perhaps if you could tell us what you have been doing… you said you thought there was a connection?“ Kate interjected, hoping to calm the situation.

“We have to find where their hideout is.“ The Doctor turned away from the Master, abruptly changing her priorities. She made her way over to the Osgoods at their workstations. “What sort of scanning equipment have you got here?“

“State of the art and then some but what are you looking for?“ One of them asked, relieved to be back in an area they felt comfortable with.

“Time Lord life signs. Scan for people with two hearts. If we connect the hub to my TARDIS, we should be able to do it,“ the Doctor explained, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she considered the logistics.

“You believe other Time Lords are behind this?“ Kate asked, surprised.

“If things are connected then yes, for sure. One particular Time Lord, that is.“ The Doctor nodded. “Chances are the Thirteen will be wherever they’re keeping Ryan, Graham and Jack. And my son.“

“Your son?“ Martha was the first to echo in disbelief while the other UNIT members just stared at the Doctor in shock.

“He was kidnapped, we have been chasing after his kidnappers ever since,“ Vastra interjected sensing that the Doctor’s mind was already on other, more practical matters as she leaned over the computer screens.

“Doctor I’m so sorry, I had no idea…“ Kate started saying but the Doctor wasn’t paying attention.

“He’s bound to have a Time Lord life sign too… between River and me…“ She explained to the Osgoods and took one of their keyboards off them to start typing.

“Right, okay, let’s get to work,“ Martha interrupted the stunned silence, calling them all to action.

——

Unknown location

“Tempting offer, mate, but I don’t think you can just turn people immortal,“ Ryan replied, looking around the room.

“Talking of immortal people, where is Jack?“ Graham asked, noticing his absence.

“Oh, he will be quite useful. He may not have the kind of immortality we are looking for but he might be just what we need to differentiate the genes,“ the blonde man answered graciously.

“Is that what your experiments are about? Making people immortal? You’re not doing a very good job, are you, if you’re killing them,“ Ryan snapped, pulling against restraints that had been fixed to their wrists. They had to find a way of getting out of here and get help, else they would be next in a long line of dead bodies.

“Every attempt takes us closer and we’re confident, we’re almost there now. You could be our first successes,“ the man carried on with charismatic confidence. He seemed awfully convinced of what he was promising.

“If you’re so sure about that, why don’t you try it out on yourself?“ Graham shot back, trying to get out of his restraints as well but to no avail.

“No need, I already have that ability, it’s your species I’m concerned with,“ the man answered and Ryan and Graham exchanged confused glances.

“What?“

Before they could ask any more questions, the door opened at the far side of the room.

“Padrac! There you are!“ A familiar voice barked.

“What…“ Ryan and Graham couldn’t believe their eyes as they watched the Master strolling into the room.

“Impossible.“ Graham shook his head. “She said you’d died on Gallifrey!“

“Did she now?“ The Master barely regarded them with a glance but it seemed to have picked the other man’s interest, who appeared to be called Padrac.

“You know of Gallifrey?“ He raised his eyebrows, surprised. He clearly hadn’t realised who they were.

“’Course we bloody do!“ Ryan snapped but focused his attention back on the Master: “We stopped you once and we will do it again. Just you wait, the Doctor will be on her way, once she realises this has been you all along.“

“The Doctor, ey?“ Padrac smiled, intrigued.

“I very much doubt that, you see, she’s pretty busy right now,“ the Master retorted. “You are the last thing she’s concerned with.“ Then he grabbed the other man by the arm. “Padrac, we need to talk.“

——

Luna University, 52nd Century

“Wow,“ Yaz breathed, looking out of the window as they made their descent to the moon’s surface. The university campus was quite a sight from above. Large domes were keeping the emptiness of space at bay and provided pleasant living conditions for the people below. They docked to what appeared to be a space port, for lack of a better word. It was a tall structure that stuck out between the domes and provided passage into the area below.

“What time period are you from?“ River asked, watching the fascination play on her young face.

“2020,“ Yaz answered absentmindedly as she moved away from the window.

“Ah, a little way off then, Luna University is the hub of academia in my time.“ River gave her a kind smile as she picked up Dorium who scolded her for tipping his box a bit too much. River chose to ignore his protest as they left the shuttle.

“What is your time?“ Yaz asked as they found their way to an elevator that would take them down to the surface.

“That’s a question and a half…“ River chuckled. “My parents were from your time, 2010 or something there about… and I lived there for a while… until the Doctor whisked me away and stranded me here, 52nd century… I guess I consider it my time, that’s where I spent most of my linear life… and it’s where I died. A time traveller doesn’t really have a home but Luna University is as close as it gets for me,“ she explained as they rode the elevator to the surface.

“It’s where you live when you don’t jump through time?“ Yaz understood what she meant. The elevator opened and they stepped out into the foyer of a large building of massive stone and impressive architecture. It reminded Yaz of a class trip they had taken to Oxford once where they had passed by the university. This appeared to be the Oxbridge of the future and it was very impressive.

“I teach here, too,“ River revealed with a smile. “This way.“

“Archeology, wasn’t it?“ Yaz asked as she looked around the entrance area, signs and arrows on the floor indicating which way each department was situated. “Isn’t that cheating when you can visit any time period?“ She realised she was falling behind a little bit, getting distracted by the sheer impressiveness of it all. She quickly caught up to River again.

“I certainly am the most hands-on archeologist out there,“ River chuckled. “Admittedly, not everyone is a big fan of that… but I don’t usually mention the time travel bit. Here we go…“ She grimaced a little, then put on her best smile as a middle aged man hurried to meet them. Quickly, she closed the door on Dorium’s box so as not to draw attention. A muffled protest came from the box but River gave him a little shake to be quiet.

“Ehh… Professor Song?“ The man greeted her, stammering, utterly surprised to see her by the looks of it. He was rather short and unimpressive looking, his suit was ill-fitting and there was a stain on his tie.

“If I have missed any classes, I’m very sorry, my last expedition ran over,“ River explained.

“Ran over? We received word from the Lux Cooperation that you died during the expedition,“ the man replied, utterly stunned upon seeing her. It was understandable given the circumstances.

“As always, accounts of my death have been vastly exaggerated.“ River gave a brilliant smile and a crystal clear laugh, hoping to put the matter to bed, just like that. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get to my quarters…“ She didn’t want to waste time on idle chit chat.

“Well…“ The man went slightly pale around the nose and uncomfortably tugged at his collar to loosen it a little.

“Where are my things?“ River frowned.

“Storage. We tried to reach out for your family but when thirteen different people turned up claiming to be your spouses we decided it best to keep your affects sealed for the time being…“ He answered awkwardly.

“What can I say, I’ve had a good life, didn’t expect them all to come back and haunt me after my alleged death,“ River sighed, though oddly touched that the Doctor would go to such lengths.

“Quite.“ The man cleared his throat. “I’m just gonna need some identification, bio-scan or… just to prove you are who you say you are, you understand… doesn’t happen every day someone returns from the dead…“

“Here, hold Dorium.“ River handed Yaz the box. Dorium complained loudly and the university clerk jumped away from them in shock at the talking box. “Lead the way,“ River sighed at him exasperatedly. “There better not be anything missing!“

——

Torchwood Two Hub, 2021

“Here we go, that should do it.“ The Doctor had finished linking the Torchwood computers to the TARDIS and transferred Time Lord biodata prints across for reference, now it was just a matter of time.

“Scanning now…“ One of the Osgoods announced.

“Two here, that’s the Master and me…“ The Doctor smiled enthusiastically when the first results came in. It was working.

“I still can’t believe you brought him here,“ Martha huffed.

“As it happens, I have been very helpful through this process,“ the Master shot back.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,“ Mickey backed up his wife.

“It might be easier if you start scanning where you lost track of your friends?“ The Master ignored their quips. “Idiots.“

“Doctor, does he really have to be here?“ Kate asked softly, stepping closer to the Doctor. “No-one seems comfortable with having him around.“

“Well, I don’t like being here, and I don’t like playing nice, I would quite happily murder each and every one of you but we can’t all have what we want, can we?“ the Master bellowed, losing his temper at last.

“Master!“ The Doctor snapped, her eyes shooting up to him. They had been toeing a fine line and it was becoming increasingly hard to justify his presence to the others.

“Sorry. Sometimes my emotions run away with me,“ the Master took a deep breath and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Doctor!“ The Osgoods chanted in unison and the Doctor returned her attention to the computer screens.

“There we are!“ She exclaimed excitedly. Finally they were getting somewhere! “But… that’s not possible…“ She frowned, leaning in closer, doubting the findings and her ability to interpret them in equal measures.

“What is it?“ Vastra asked, concerned.

“There are three Time Lord life signs there…“ The Doctor revealed after a moment’s consideration. “Even if the Thirteen really came here and that is where they’re keeping my son, there should only be two…“

“They must have succeeded,“ the Master announced. “With their experiments.“ He laughed and shook his head: “Making more Time Lords, just after I thought I’d wiped them all out… that’s what you think they’re doing, right?“ He looked to the Doctor.

“We have to go now,“ she said, straightening herself up. They had no time to lose. They had no idea what exactly was going on in that place but it was entirely possible that the Master was right.

“I hope you’re not expecting to go alone,“ Kate spoke up and the Doctor looked around, finding everyone getting to their feet, determined faces looking back at her.

“No, I’m not. I’m quite happy to bring down the full force of Torchwood and Unit down on them… whatever it takes to get my son back and stop them,“ the Doctor smiled with vengeful fury behind her calm facade.

——

Luna University 52nd Century

“I can take it from here, thanks.“ River took the key card from the university clerk that had insisted on walking them to the storage area personally. He also insisted on asking the most impertinent questions about what had actually happened to her during the expedition and why she was only returning now. By the time they reached the storage locker, River had had enough.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to…“ The clerk started but River interrupted curtly:

“Quite.“ He handed over the key card and when River made no attempt to open the room in his presence, he finally got the message and departed.

“How long have you been dead for?“ Yaz asked as the archeologist unlocked the door at last.

“I’m not quite sure… but it is getting dusty in here, isn’t it,“ River commented as they stepped inside the room and flicked the lights on. They were garish and bright, almost clinical and all of River’s personal effects, her furniture, her books, her life - for all intents and purposes - looked incredibly lifeless, as if they were entering a morgue.

“What exactly are we looking for?“ Dorium asked, as River opened up his box and set him down on a sideboard.

“Well for a start, this,“ River replied when she opened the top drawer of her desk and pulled out a blaster gun. It appeared out of charge as she checked it over but that was easily remedied.

“Is the Doctor happy about you carrying a gun?“ Yaz raised her eyebrows, remembering many passionate speeches about how terrible guns were.

“Never but they’ve given up arguing,“ River answered with a smirk and attached the gun to her belt.

“Is that ‘cause they always lose the argument?“ Yaz chuckled. Her eyes fell on a box on the desk, full of picture frames that had probably once decorated said desk in the professor’s office. She picked up a picture of River and a tall, white-haired man. They were standing on a balcony, a beautiful sunset stretching across the sky behind them and two large towers of stone in the distance. Yaz turned the picture over, there was a note on the back that read “The Singing Towers, Darillium. “She said she used to be a white haired scotsman…“ Yaz mused as she turned the picture back around and smiled. It was a beautiful picture for sure but what was even more remarkable was the expression on the Doctor’s face. So full of joy and adoration. While River was looking at the camera and smiling, he was looking at her, as if the rest of the universe ceased to exist.

“Yaz?“ River drew her attention.

“Yeah?“ Yaz looked up, blushing a little, quickly she put the picture frame back where she found it, embarrassed. She probably should have asked before looking at her personal effects.

“Can I trust you?“ River asked, searching her expression for a truthful answer.

“Of course, why do you even have to ask that?“ Yaz was genuinely surprised.

“I don’t know you. Vastra, Jenny, Strax, Dorium even… I have history with them, you’re… new,“ River explained and it was obvious that she wasn’t trying to be unkind or distrusting, she simply had to ask before they got any further. “And for what we’re about to do, I need to know I can trust you, completely.“

“Of course. The Doctor is one of my best friends and to think what you’ve been through, both of you… whatever you need, River. I mean it.“ Yaz nodded, her assurances genuine and determined. After everything that had happened to the Doctor, Yaz wanted nothing more than to make sure she got her family back and found some happiness at last. It was long overdue.

“Good. I thought so.“ River smiled and waved her along.

“What exactly are we going to do?“ Yaz asked and picked up Dorium’s box as they carried on further into the room.

“We’re gonna be the cavalry,“ River revealed, she seemed to know exactly what she was looking for.

“And how do you intend to do that?“ Yaz frowned, stopping as River did too, in front of a large cupboard.

“Here we go!“ River announced, full of enthusiasm.

“An old cabinet?“ Yaz asked, confused. It was pretty, solid oak and classical craftsmanship but she couldn’t see how it would help them in their quest.

“I would have thought by now you would check every cupboard for extra dimensions,“ River chuckled as she opened the door.

“It’s a TARDIS?“ Yaz exclaimed as it opened up into a vast room in its own right, fully furnished with computer screens and a control console.

“Let’s go and see what that wife of mine is up to. I imagine there might be trouble as she hasn’t been around to pick us up yet.“ River grinned.

——

The TARDIS

“Are you sure it’s such a good idea to just fly in there?“ Kate attempted to be the voice of reason as they piled into the TARDIS.

“I’m done messing around,“ the Doctor retorted as she started working the controls.

“Just like back in the old days…“ Martha hummed looking around the control room. The Osgoods had agreed to stay behind and provide intel as needed. Everyone else was crowded into the control room.

“Everybody ready?“ The Doctor cut through the chatter. She was tense, it felt like they were finally getting somewhere and she was eager to get going.

“Ready when you are,“ Kate confirmed and there were nods all round. Without further ado, the Doctor launched the TARDIS. Their journey only lasted a few seconds as suddenly, they were knocked forwards, almost as if they had crashed into something. The TARDIS was shaking, instead of grinding to a halt as they had expected, it felt more like they were spiralling.

“Not as easy as all that, is it?“ The Master called over the racket with amusement.

“They’re using some kind of force field, I bounced right off it,“ the Doctor explained, ignoring the Master’s quip.

“If these are Time Lords we’re dealing with, I’m not surprised they prepared for that eventuality,“ Vastra pointed out, just as the Doctor managed to stabilise them.

“Let me try,“ the Master stepped up to the console, pushing her away.

“Don’t be stupid,“ she snapped, giving him a shove in turn but he ignored her, focusing on the controls.

“I’m not being stupid, in fact, I’m being extremely clever, now move,“ he snarled and after a moment’s consideration, the Doctor gave him room.

“Doctor, is this a good idea,“ Vastra mumbled to the Doctor who was watching him work. Before she could reply, the TARDIS ground to a halt.

“We’re in,“ the Doctor realised, surprised. She started laughing with relief. “How did you do that?“ She had watched closely but she couldn’t quite explain what he had done but she didn’t care, he had succeeded. She reached out to touch the controls, scan their surroundings when suddenly, the power started draining. The TARDIS wheezed and whined, almost as if she was in pain. The yellow crystal pillars started dimming, the lights were going out.

“Doctor, what’s happening?“ Kate asked, trying to remain calm as concerned mumbled erupted amongst the companions.

“I… don’t know!“ The Doctor’s fingers flew over the controls, trying to work out what was going on, trying to hold on to her oldest friend but the screens flickered off, the buttons stopped responding and the humming died down. “She’s shutting down!“ She exclaimed, in near panic. They had just landed in enemy territory and the TARDIS stopped working. Why was this happening?

“Oops… we’ll isn’t that unfortunate…“ The Master chuckled and utter silence fell around them, all eyes on him. Before anyone could say as much as “Told you so“, the silence was interrupted by a loud transmission:

“How nice of you to join us, Doctor, raise your hands everyone as you exit the vehicle in an orderly fashion.“

“Padrac?“ The Doctor mumbled, recognising the voice instantly, she was stunned. How was he here? What did he have to do with this? Maybe the Thirteen wasn’t working alone after all… Working with Padrac and probably even working with the person that had led them into this trap. The Doctor looked to the Master who grinned. Despite her better judgement, despite the many lessons she should have learned over millennia… she couldn’t believe she had fallen for it again. He started laughing now, clapping his hands together, enjoying his moment of triumph as silence fell in the lifeless TARDIS.

[theres-no-protocol-for-this]

Apologies & Logistics

This is the end of the “Humans Adopt a Combat SecUnit” story, or at least this part of it.

Jae

I had expected the governor to fry my organic neural tissue for disobeying a direct order, but it had merely immobilized and disabled me. I couldn’t move or see, but my hearing continued to function normally. It was a non-optimal outcome but still significantly better than my initial predictions.

In my ear, Serenity provided a running commentary of ongoing events. I felt like an oddly captive audience to a ship that suddenly eager for conversation, no matter how one-sided. And it had a variety of opinions on topics ranging from the Corporation Rim to cargo haulers, handlers, and the intricacies of wormhole travel. I wasn’t bored.

Meanwhile, external voices came and went.

I heard Cass leave the control room moments later with a squeaky gurney that could have used some grease in her wake. Kris’s booming voice echoed on the bridge while he negotiated docking procedures with one of the incoming rescue vessels. He notified them about the rescued corporate higher-up but failed to mention my existence. I suspected either they would dispose of me or steal me. My risk assessment module deemed the former option unlikely, given my handler’s determination in reversing the governor’s freeze command.

Presumably, I was still on the inventory lists of the security and tactical support company that owned me, and the humans would need to make me disappear in order to leave the sector.

“I’m not sure you can hear me.” Kris’s voice was suddenly close enough that I thought he might be sitting on the floor next to me. “And I’m not sure which option is better, honestly. I hope you’re not just trapped in there until Cass figures out how to fix this. But if you can hear me, I want you to know that I’m grateful. You protected my best friend when I couldn’t, and that means a lot to me.”

The human’s voice trailed off for a moment before picking up again. “Anyway, we’re going to finish this cargo run, but before we do, we’ll meet with a friend of mine who, uh, locates documents that don’t strictly exist and formally assign your ownership to Cass. Just in case.”

More silence. Human processing time is slow, but this was different. “Deity, it hurts to even say that. I really hope you’re not hearing this.”

Meanwhile, Serenity explained, “What Kris is referring to is a forger or a fixer. Probably one of Kris’ friends from his university days.”

The human kept talking. “I’m sorry about calling you a bot. You’re obviously not, and right now, I’m fucking hating the rules that say otherwise.”

I didn’t understand the human’s concerns; to me, the facts remained immutable. I was property, and if I belonged to this crew in a legal sense, they wouldn’t be stopped by Port Authority wherever they went next. If I could speak, I would’ve recommended that exact course of action.

A moment later, Cass returned from the medical room. I could hear her light footsteps as she moved around the bridge, and Serenity gave me an excellent overview of what the human was doing. My handler’s voice was gentle when she said, “All right, let’s take care of Jae. How’re you holding up, SecUnit?” I could hear someone unspooling a cable. “Ready, Sere?”

“Of course,” the ship answered in its mechanical tone.

I recorded a brief but frantic burst of activity between myself, my handler, and the ship that was mediating between us. Cass wanted to disable my governor permanently, but there was no practical way to do so without access to a Combat SecUnit manual, which we didn’t have. She implemented perhaps the next best thing — the module would no longer react or take action without my handler’s explicit permission.

Then Cass overrode my governor’s freeze command, and I could move again.

I opened my eyes to find Cass staring at me with a worried expression on her tired face. Serenity reconnected me to the feed, so I reached up and removed the feed interface from my ear. Now the ship could bother me anytime it wanted.

“How are you feeling?” my human asked nervously.

Better than initially anticipated. I’d added the sentence to my buffer once I’d understood what Cass was asking. It was becoming easier to modify the buffer with each attempt.

“You weren’t expecting to survive that, were you?” The human sounded suspicious.

I shrugged.

“Don’t ever do anything that stupid again! That’s not an order, Jae. This is me telling you that we like you alive and safe, and I want you to consider your own well-being when deciding how to best handle a situation.”

Understood, Cass.

I sat up, and the woman hugged me with probably all the force she could muster. I… I didn’t mind it. At all

***

Kris

The rescue ship that finally docked with Serenity was a small patrol vessel that belonged to the station's towing company. I was pretty confident that the warship would not need a tow at this point — there wasn't enough of it left out there to warrant cleanup operations. Since I had performed the rescue spacewalk and had gotten injured, a company representative took my statement first. Te pulled out a display surface and took down notes, presumably so ter corporation could figure out who to bill for the unnecessary services.

While Cass and I dealt with the tercera and the legal bullshit in this sector, Serenity edited the video and audio of my spacewalk to make it look like Jae had been destroyed by one of the weapon-wielding bots. In my report, I noted that we had a Combat SecUnit on board at one time, but it had suffered catastrophic damage during the rescue operations. When prompted, I mentioned that we'd put what remained into the recycler.

It was a bald-faced lie, but the bored and cranky representative seemed entirely disinterested. Te didn't even review the video before signing off on the documents, didn't ask for any logs, and performed only a cursory examination of the unconscious corporate employee still in our medical suite. For a small fee, te even offered to take the woman back to the station so we could be on our way quicker. Frankly, I wanted nothing more than to be rid of the human.

Cass had other ideas.

She and I huddled in the mess while the representative returned to ter ship to finish scanning the debris field. Te grumbled that billing back damages on an infiltration attempt would be a nightmarish hell of solicitors from the owner company and wasn't motivated to make anything easy for them.

"What if she tells someone?" Cass demanded after the tercera had departed.

I sipped my coffee and shrugged. "It's going to be a he-said-she-said between the corporate and the station."

"No, I mean later, when Tatiana returns to work minus a construct."

"They'll probably deduct its cost from her salary and demote her. The company cares about profit margins. And she won't be able to prove anything anyway since I destroyed her interface."

The captain looked unconvinced. She paced the room, running a hand through her shoulder-length hair in a nervous gesture. "I don't know…"

"Cass, we are literally stealing one of the most dangerous weapons in the Rim. I think we have bigger problems than one pissed corporate." I tried not to sound patronizing, but it was a struggle. "We absolutely can't take her with us."

"What if we could change her mind? About Jae."

I tried not to spit out my coffee and almost succeeded. The smell of coffee in my nostrils was unbearable. "I don't think so, love. If she doesn't think it's a person now, after working with it for the entirety of its life, what are the odds that we can say anything to change her mind?"

Cass sighed and stopped pacing. "Yeah, you're right. I just…"

"I know. You want to do the right thing. But at this point, absconding with our new friend is probably the best we can manage."

"Yeah." She still sounded reluctant. "Maybe I can reach out to Mom's friend and see if she can help somehow."

I glanced at her dubiously. "You sure you want to talk to Dr. Mensah? Didn't you say she was a councilperson or something?"

I knew pitifully little about Cass's home planet because she never spoke of it. It was a freehold planet unaffiliated with any corporate entities where people were apparently nice to each other. At one time, she'd mentioned growing up on a farm alongside a large extended family, but the story always ended with her leaving home as soon as she was old enough to make her own way in the world. That her mother knew one of the Preservation Alliance leaders reminded me that Cass had connections, even if she chose to do everything on her own, all the time.

"She was until she retired a couple of years ago, I think. I haven't been back in a while, and I barely talk to move. I definitely don't keep track of her friends." She scratched at a scab on her arm. "I remember a news burst that Mensah rescued a SecUnit, but that was..." She frowned. "Well, long enough ago that I completely forgot about it until just now."

I cleaned up the mess I'd made on the table with the coffee. "We're sending the crazy corporate goon back with the tercera. And if you want to call your parent, that's up to you. I'm sure she'd love to hear from you."

"Says the guy that doesn't speak to his parents."

I stiffened and then remembered that Cass had no idea why I avoided my family. "My parents still believe I'm female. I'm not willing to add jack shit to that conversation."

The captain looked at me with the same warmth that had initially convinced me to join her crew. "Oh, man, I'm so sorry, Kris. I didn't realize your parents were idiots."

That made me grin. "Idiocy is a nice way of putting it, love. I used some stronger words last time I saw them." I got up and wrapped an arm around Cass's thin shoulders. "Come, let's go see about finishing this transaction and getting the hell out of here. I bet Jae is bored sitting in its cabin."

"It's recharging," Cass told me, another reminder that she knew what the SecUnit was doing at all times. "But yeah, let's go. Enough insanity for one day."

The End!

I don’t know where the characters go from here. I have some ideas but maybe that’s a story for a different time.

I wanted to tell a story about stealing a CSU and there it is. And CSU in this case is a complete sweetheart, so. :)

[tirorah]

Road to Berlin – The Strike Witches Magnum Opus?

Hello! It’s been a long time. I don’t plan on returning to Tumblr long-term—it simply stole away too much of my time and energy, and I had to do what was best for myself. However, I thought I’d pop in for a very special message.

You see, Strike Witches’ third season, Road to Berlin, has now reached its halfway point. And I need you to watch it.

“Strike Witches?!” I hear you say. “That weird show about girls with no pants that you’re obsessed with for some reason?”

Yes, exactly! Hold on, don’t run away yet! Sit with me for a spell and allow me to explain my boundless love for this silly, emotionally gripping show. Allow me to tell you why it might affect you in the same way, and why Road to Berlin may be the best offering yet.

Welcome to the 501st Joint Fighter Wing

If you’ve heard of this anime, you’ve undoubtedly heard of (or witnessed) its rather infamous claim to fame: a group of teenage soldiers fighting strange creatures in an Alternate Universe World War 2 Europe, flying around with guns and magic-fueled leg machines, and none of them are wearing any decent trousers.

That takes some getting used to, doesn’t it? I’m not going to deny that. But while Strike Witches’ rather peculiar design decisions are inescapable, there’s one thing you need to take into account: Season 1 aired all the way back in 2008. And over those thirteen years, it’s evolved into an experience unlike anything its roots would suggest.

Strike Witches has always been a strange beast. It has a large cast and divides its activities evenly between (light) war drama and slice-of-life shenanigans. And there’s fanservice, lots and lots of it! But the show’s emphasis on risqué camera work, and how that camera work is handled, highly depends on which entry you’re watching.

You see, Strike Witches is strangely ambitious. It could’ve easily taken its bizarre concept and pushed that to its limits, bringing in as much fanservice as possible and playing a simple story in the background as window dressing. But it was never satisfied with just that. Even early on in Season 1, the show deals with heavier themes like pressure, trauma and loss.

And then there are the characters, the undisputed stars of the show. Twelve strong and all with different backgrounds and personal quirks, they may at first seem like TV Tropes come to life. And certainly, sometimes they are. However, as the series progressed, things started to change. Even Season 2, arguably the lightest and silliest of all entries, featured material that built on character development and character growth earned in its predecessor.

With the movie and a trio of OVAs to round out the cast a bit more, the stage was set for Road to Berlin.

The Difficult Road Ahead

When this season was first announced back in 2018, two things stood out to me. First of all, the key visual and promotional video released along with the announcement were much more similar in style to the movies and the OVAs, featuring serious-looking characters and stormy clouds. Secondly, for the first time in Strike Witches history, an entry received a subtitle. Yes, the OVAs were named Operation Victory Arrow, but that was merely wordplay to spell out “OVA.” It wasn’t wholly serious.

Road to Berlin, however, is deadly serious.

Let’s start with an overall theme. The vaunted 501st Joint Fighter Wing has had some major victories, but much of the continent is still under occupation by the Neuroi. The Hive over Berlin is the Wing’s new target, but the journey there is fraught with obstacles. Plans are thwarted and delayed by Neuroi more powerful and far craftier than their 2008 counterparts.

And as the opening song tells us: “We all have flaws.” The Road to Berlin isn’t an entirely literal road; it’s also a metaphorical one. The push to Berlin is their hardest battle yet. Victory can only be achieved if the characters face and overcome their weaknesses. But they’re not alone.

Friendship Is Power

As the characters have long since been established, there’s greater room for growth not just in one character, but also in how that character interacts with others. Road to Berlin chose the best possible route and decided to emphasize character dynamics. Episodes don’t focus on a single character anymore; they focus on relationships, and those relationships are at their peak here.

There’s a newfound maturity to the writing in Road to Berlin, a gentle touch that allows the characters to breathe and be more than their foremost traits. You get a sense that the characters have grown from their experiences; they feel different, more well-rounded, but they still behave exactly as they should. This is difficult to get right, and while I’m sure there might be a few eyebrow-raising moments here and there, the overall result is a cast that continues to improve every week.

Chekhov’s Gun

Underpinning the character work is a highly intriguing execution. Road to Berlin delivers subtle setups and satisfying payoffs in every episode. The pacing is also seriously tight. No moment is left unused, every opportunity for additional development is taken. Even the script itself doesn’t like to waste time; it explains things here and there, but it rightly assumes you know who the characters are and what everything means, so it doesn’t bother with many unnecessary lines.

On top of all that, this season is reaching new heights in confidence and sheer audacity, and it uses that to deliver something truly special. There are interactions here that I never could’ve imagined, twists that genuinely caught me off-guard, moments where I had to sit back and digest what I’d just witnessed.

Not a single episode has been predictable thus far; I’ve had more surprises than I can count. In fact, before I started watching I made a bingo card on a whim, filling it with trends and running gags I’d spotted over the course of the series. Some of those bingo spaces have already been proven wrong, and others are in question. Road to Berlin has done such a spectacular job at simultaneously defying and exceeding my expectations that I honestly have no idea where this journey will take me.

The Fault in Our Stars

Okay, hold up, stop the hype train! I admit, I’m a massive sucker for Strike Witches. One could say this somewhat clouds my judgement. Shocking, I know. So, to make this enthusiastic recommendation fairer, let’s dig into something that I hope to see an improvement on.

There is some terrible imbalance in screen time going on here. I know I said earlier that the cast is great, and it is amazing, but some characters have definitely been favored over others. Yoshika is the main character, of course, so it’s not unreasonable for her to have a large role. Similarly, characters like Minna, Gertrud and Shirley have more experience and higher ranks than the others, which means they have an easier time fitting into scenes.

So, who’s gotten the short end of the stick?

Let’s start with Lynne. She hasn’t had as much of a presence as I’d hoped. The primary reason for this is Shizuka, who’s taken up the role of newbie to the squadron and is often paired with Yoshika because they’re working together. As each episode focuses on the relationships between a select few characters at a time, the others are often relegated to minor roles, and poor Lynne hasn’t had an episode to highlight her yet. I’m sure her moment will come eventually.

I don’t know if the same thing applies to Minna. She’s mostly stuck behind her desk again, it seems, and while she’s definitely had some scenes, her role as Wing Commander hasn’t allowed her as much wiggle room as some of the others. What I want to see from Minna is more time to be a nurturing mom to her girls. The thing is, I’m not sure how they’d accomplish a Minna-centric episode. I suppose they could pair her up with Mio, but even then, I’m uncertain where to take her. It seems redundant to have her be worried out of her mind over Mio again, and she seems to be keeping it together pretty well so far anyway.

In a trend so merciless it’s almost comical, Sanya and Eila seem forever doomed to the peanut gallery. They started out with few lines and have pretty much remained in the background since. Of course, a big factor to it all is their role as the night patrol, which naturally separates their activities from everyone else’s. It’s my current prediction that their relationship is next in line to be showcased. The quality of that episode will likely hinge on how their personalities are tuned, but there’s potential for something great.

And most shocking of all, Mio—She Who Has Practiced Plot Armor Ten Thousand Times—has had the most infinitesimal role of all. I’m of two minds on this. It appears that Road to Berlin has realized that having Mio fly into battle without a shield or Striker Unit is silly, and this is good. On the other hand, Mio is an iconic and beloved character. She deserves some screen time as long as she doesn’t overshadow the others. For now, she seems to be relegated to strategizing and logistics, although I have a hunch that a way to circumvent her newfound vulnerability has already been set up. Time will tell if this ends up being utilized.

Journey’s End

In closing, Road to Berlin highlights the best of what Strike Witches has to offer. It’s striding boldly forward, eager to dazzle us with its animation and audio, grinning as it challenges our preconceptions about where its characters can go and what they can do.

The path to this greatness can be tough. Watching Strike Witches means accepting a number of strange concepts, which can give quite a few viewers a rough start with the series. However, if you made it all the way here and haven’t given Strike Witches a try yet, I sincerely implore you to make the attempt. If you allow the characters to sweep you off your feet, then Road to Berlin could be the apex of a most satisfying viewing experience.

Especially if its second half is as impressive as the first. I, personally, have high hopes. There’s no sky this show can’t conquer.

[aion-rsa]

Invincible Episode 7 Improves Upon Its Already Great Source Material

https://ift.tt/3dGH4U1

This article contains spoilers for Invincible episode 7.

Amazon’s animated adaptation of Robert Kirkman and Cory Walker’s comic Invincible was always a great idea. The property has just about everything that streaming services and their audiences are looking for currently: superheroes, ultraviolence, and jaw-dropping twists. 

One big question facing the series, however, was how could one show possibly fit in all the story of the comic’s lengthy 144-issue run? Invincible episode 7, “We Need to Talk,” is the first season’s penultimate installment and it reveals how the show is set to approach this logistical challenge. With so many comic book issues of plot to get through, Invincible seems perfectly happy to accelerate through that plot as efficiently as possible. To that end, “We Need to Talk” features a truly staggering number of climactic moments.

This might actually be the most charmingly chaotic and jam-packed episode of TV this year (at least before next week’s finale). So much happens in “We Need to Talk” that it runs the risk of overwhelming the viewer. With that in mind, let’s break down the important plot points of this hour and examine the major ways in which they differ from (and even improve upon) the comic.

Robot’s True Identity

The reveal that the entity known as “Robot” isn’t who he claims to be might be the most shocking Invincible twist thus far. And that’s saying a lot for a show whose first episode concludes with the story’s Superman equivalent straight up murdering the rest of his Justice League.

That Robot (Zachary Quinto) is really a malformed genius named Rudolph Conners isn’t a surprise to comic book readers, but its positioning this early in Invincible’s story is a surprise. Robot’s work with the Mauler Twins to create a new body for himself doesn’t happen until after the events of Omni-Man’s confrontation with Mark in the comics (more on that later). The show, however, shrewdly decides to present this moment in the same episode as Omni-Man’s fall – just so there’s never really a moment for viewers to catch their breath. 

But now the truth has finally arrived. Robot, the orange hunk of metal with a fixedly bemused expression, is actually a machine being operated remotely by Rudolph Conners. Rudolph, or Rudy, is a small, damaged man whose body isn’t capable of surviving Earth’s environment. For many years Rudy was content to exist in his own life-giving tank of fluids while operating his superheroic “Robot” remotely. Everything changed, however, when he met the hero known as Monster Girl.

Rudy couldn’t help but identify with Monster Girl (Grey Griffin), a fellow soul who has made the best of a flawed body. Everytime Monster Girl transforms into a monster, her human form de-ages several more weeks. Theoretically at some point Monster Girl will become an infant and then waste away into nothingness. Before any of that happens, Rudy wants to fix her…and he wants to fix his own broken body so that the pair can be together.

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To that end, Rudy sprung the mad genius villain team The Mauler Twins from prison to create a cloned body for him to transfer his consciousness into. What makes this whole thing even stranger is that the genetic material Rudy chose for his new body belongs to his Teen Team and Guardians of the Globe colleague Rex Splode. The new Rudy appears to be played by Rex Splode actor Jason Mantzoukas with his voice altered to sound younger. 

Does that mean Zachary Quinto is no longer a part of the series? Let’s certainly hope not as he may have been the best performer of the entire cast. And why did Rudy choose Rex’s DNA (and without Rex’s consent, it must be said)? Because Rex is hot, basically. Rudy chose a human form that Monster Girl was already comfortable flirting with. 

This is…a lot. And the fact that Rudy has to introduce himself to his teammates while they’ve all gathered for an “apocalyptic event” just adds to the madness. But what of The Mauler Twins? The disappointment of Rudy’s double-crossing doesn’t last long. For, after Rudy is forced to abandon his efforts to reincarcerate the Mauler Twins to return to the Guardians home base, the twins get back to their important task at hand. And that leads to the return of another important Invincible character…

The Immortal is Immortal After All

Back in Invincible episode 1, Mark Grayson’s dad Nolan a.k.a. Omni-Man (J.K. Simmons) made short work of the Guardians of the Globe. Darkwing? Dead. War Woman? Dead. The Immortal? De….wait a minute. How can someone called “The Immortal” die? 

Well, it turns out that death for The Immortal (still voiced by Ross Marquand) is only temporary. Omni-Man removed The Immortal’s head, which is pretty much universally lethal across all genre stories. But The Mauler Twins theorized that if The Immortal’s head were returned to his body, he would spring back to life. 

Sure enough, that’s exactly what happened once The Immortal’s noggin was reattached. Unfortunately for The Mauler Twins, their dreams of forming any sort of alliance with the resurrected hero are quickly dashed as he immediately flies off to confront the man who killed him. 

Omni-Man v. Cecil Stedman

And that takes us to Omni-Man. In the comic, Omni-Man’s confrontation with The Immortal is what leads Mark Grayson (Steven Yeun) to discover that he’s got a Darth Vader situation on his hands. The show borrows that moment from the comic because any time you have the opportunity to make a character watch his father tear a Wolverine-looking dude in half, you’ve got to take it. That comic book moment is surprisingly abrupt though. In one panel Omni-Man is doing his usual Omni-Man thing and saving a group of citizens from a faulty roller coaster and in the next panel, The Immortal is all over his ass.

The Amazon Prime series dramatically improves on what is already a pretty great moment simply by drawing it out and building serious tension. Nolan’s wife Debbie (Sandra Oh) and the entire Global Defense Agency led by Cecil Stedman (Walton Goggins) are already well aware of Nolan’s treachery and have decided to finally take action. In speaking to Den of Geek and other outlets prior to Invincible’s premiere, Kirkman (who’s onboard as a writer and producer for this adaptation) revealed that Cecil Stedman would be getting an expanded role earlier on in Invincible’s story. 

“Cecil Stedman is a character that we get to know a little earlier in the show and definitely we get to do more with him,” he said. “I think that’s a lot of fun. There’s definitely some differences to his character and working with Walton Goggins on him has been great.”

Cecil really is a fascinating tool for Invincible. Many superhero stories have a Jim Gordon-style government liaison for its heroes to interact with. This person usually represents the interests of the planet’s “normal” citizen and is particularly impressive for being able to cut it in the world of the super-powered. By having Debbie and the GDA uncover Nolan’s guilt first, Invincible creates a wonderful opportunity to display both Cecil’s competence and depict the absolute horror of we puny humans trying to keep a super-powered god in check. 

Many times throughout Invincible episode 7, Cecil admits that there is nothing they can do to stop Nolan. The best they can do is slow him down for a bit until Mark is able to intervene. The first roadblock that Cecil presents is the explosion of an entire suburban city block with Nolan at its epicenter (R.I.P. Donald). 

“Best it will do is maybe knock him on his ass for an hour or two,” Cecil says. Then when the smoke clears to reveal an unharmed Omni-Man, Cecil grimly adds “Or maybe not hurt him at all.”

Cecil then throws the “hammer” at Nolan, which is a powerful blast from a weaponized satellite.

“$400 billion for the world’s most expensive nosebleed,” Cecil quips when Nolan takes the weapon out with ease. 

Then we get a sense of how many moral shortcuts Cecil is willing to take to keep the Earth safe. Mad scientist D.A. Sinclair’s (Ezra Miller) wounds from his confrontation with Invincible haven’t even healed yet but Cecil already has him using his evil technology for noble purposes. Sinclair’s “Reanimen” technology is now being used to reanimate recently dead U.S. soldiers, who are sent in to slow down Omni-Man. Unfortunately, that is also unsuccessful.

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Finally, Cecil is forced to head out into the field armed with nothing but a teleporter to confront Omni-Man himself. When that inevitably fails to slow Nolan down, the GDA sends a monster that Nolan already conquered, only this time it’s been robbed of its weaknesses and fear. And that’s where Mark finds his father, just in time for The Immortal to arrive and deliver one hell of a surprise. 

There’s something to be said for the suddenness of the comic’s Omni-Man moment with Mark. Mark witnessing his dad’s evil act truly comes out of nowhere even though we know it’s inevitable as Nolan has been practicing this conversation all issue. 

What the show does with the moment is a masterstroke, however. By centering the focus on the human characters of Invincible’s world, we get a chilling sense of just how terrifying this all is. Omni-Man’s heel turn doesn’t just have personal implications for Mark, it means that Earth’s unbeatable protector now seems to hate Earth. More terrifying than that is that the only person we think can defeat him is Mark Grayson…who, it must be said, has done nothing but had his ass absolutely handed to him by lesser enemies over and over again for the past three episodes.

Amber and Mark

It probably feels anticlimactic to address Mark and Amber’s lover’s spat after breaking down Omni-Man’s reign of terror. But it’s necessary to see how far-reaching the changes (and in this case improvements) are in episode 7 in comparison to its original text. 

Mark and Amber’s relationship thus far has been all about frustration. Mark is facing an annoying problem with a seemingly easy solution. Amber (Zazie Beetz) is upset with him because he is absent in their burgeoning relationship. He’s absent in their burgeoning relationship because he’s a superhero. Therefore, the quickest, easiest solution to this dilemma is to tell her that he’s a superhero. 

So in this episode, that’s exactly what Mark does. He gets suited up and flies right through Amber’s window to deliver the exciting news. The problem is – she’s not that excited.

“Ugh, I know you’re a superhero,” Amber says. “I’m not an idiot, I figured it out weeks ago.”

This is not how things go down in the comic. That version of Amber is a bit more…let’s say “bubbly” and when confronted with the fact that Mark has lied to her for weeks she responds with an excited “My boyfriend is a superhero?!?!?”

The show, however, is smart to not let Mark off the hook so easily. Of course Amber knew that Mark is Invincible. Because, like she says, she’s not an idiot. Anyone who spends an inordinate amount of time with him is bound to figure it out sooner than later. So what Mark thought was a problem with an easy solution becomes yet another difficult lesson on his path to maturation. 

“I think that Amber is important in terms of holding Mark accountable,” Beetz told reporters prior to the show’s premiere. “Mark is still struggling with what his identity as a super person is. And she shows him that (powers) are not what make you good or special ultimately, it’s what’s in your character.”

It turns out that the people close to you don’t appreciate being lied to. Though human beings all look like particularly vulnerable ants from Mark’s perspective high up in the sky, we certainly don’t appreciate being treated like insects to be protected and manipulated by the powerful among us. 

Mark and Amber’s relationship is an excellent indication that nothing will come easy for Mark Grayson on this show. Every decision has an equal and opposite reaction. It’s important that he learns that lesson before he enters into what is sure to be the most stressful and morally confusing moment of his life next week.

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Invincible’s season finale will be available to stream Friday, April 30 on Amazon Prime.

The post Invincible Episode 7 Improves Upon Its Already Great Source Material appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3aBaalL

[lallemanting]

for want of gold

When your soulmate touches you, it leaves behind an imprint, color staining your skin. Red for romantic soulmates. Blue for platonic. That’s the universe Lucas knows, the one he’s supposed to take part in. He wishes he didn’t have to.

Or an enemies to friends to lovers/soulmate au where Lucas is jaded, Eliott is hopeful, and it should be simple, but, of course, it isn’t.

chapter 6

(tw for a brief scene dealing with Eliott’s bipolar)

“Gold runs in our blood.” ― Virginia Woolf, The Waves

It’s incredible how fast Lucas is able to get himself to leave the art show. There’s part of him that says that he should just go to Eliott, see him, talk to him, that it might not be what it seems.

But there’s another, louder, part of him that just wants to go, wants to sit in his newfound revelation and process. Wants to think about Eliott, and how he sees him and how this changes things.

Because the thing is, Lucille is exactly the kind of person Eliott deserves. She’s beautiful and seems nice and as they stand together surrounded by their friends, Lucas can see how well they fit, how good they look together, how much Eliott deserves that...or at least something like that. 

And sure Lucille isn’t his soulmate, but Eliott deserves to have someone now, like Lucille, while he waits. Because Lucas can’t imagine a universe in which Eliott doesn’t get his soulmate. There’s never been someone more deserving than Eliott. And knowing now what that means to him, Lucas can forgive his strict belief in the universe, can forgive the stock Eliott takes in the whole soulmate business, because it’s something for him to hold on to, something important. 

In the end, Lucas can’t muster up the courage to go and talk to Eliott before he leaves. He goes up to Sofiane and Imane and says something about a headache – which isn’t entirely untrue seeing how his brain has only been chanting you’re in love with Eliott over and over again for the last 20 minutes. And in any case, Lucas doesn’t want to bring down the mood at the show. It’s Eliott’s big night and he deserves to have it as bright and happy and not influenced by emotional turmoil as possible. 

So Lucas finds his coat and slips out. 

He elects to walk home, hoping the cold air will clear his head and maybe dull his senses a bit, giving him some relief from the onslaught of feelings he’s having. He’s in love with Eliott. How could he have not picked up on that before? It’s not that it should be overly surprising given how fast he’d let Eliott in, how fast Eliott had made a place in Lucas’ heart to call his own.

And yet, Lucas hadn’t seen it coming. But maybe that’s because he wasn’t paying attention. 

He’s been so wrapped up for so long in the logistics of love, the logistics of soulmates and soulmarks and his vendetta against a system he never chose to be a part of, that he’d forgotten to let himself feel anything else. 

But now that it’s here, now that the feeling has washed over him and the choir that’s appeared in his head is singing only refrains of him loving Eliott, it feels like he may never be able to live without it.

In his haze to protect the heart his father had broken, Lucas had never let himself imagine there would be someone who wanted to fix it, someone he’d want to fix it. And in the end, he’d set himself up for this really.

And Eliott deserves more than that. Eliott deserves more than what Lucas can give him.

So Lucas puts his head down to steel himself against the cold, and presses on towards home.

***

Lucas tries to slink in unnoticed, desperate for a chance to sleep, to forget the feelings churning within him for a few hours. But it’s not that late and Yann is still up, watching some dumb sitcom on the tv and he spots Lucas as he walks in the front door.

“How was the art show?” Yann asks, his tone light and teasing. And Lucas knows what he’s implying, what he’s hinting at, but having been hit with a tidal wave of new feelings and, perhaps, a little heartbreak, he can’t listen to it right now.

“Fine,” he huffs out, heading straight for his room, not bothering to take off his coat and shoes by the door. 

And how Lucas wishes sometimes that Yann didn’t know him as well as he does. “Hey, you okay?” Yann asks, reaching out to pause the show. “Did something happen?”

“I’m fine,” Lucas responds shortly.

“Lucas–”

“I said I’m fine!” He slams his door behind him.

He gets ready for bed quickly, dropping his clothes on the ground in a pile and pulling on an old t-shirt he finds strewn across his bed. He’s cold, which is unusual, seeing as his room is normally boiling due to its small size and lack of ventilation. But tonight there’s a chill clinging to his bones and he shivers, pulling the covers up over his head to speed up his body warming the bed.

His mind is eagerly playing the scene at the show over and over again in his head, refusing, for even a moment to let Lucas breathe. He wishes, desperately, that he was even remotely tired, but he’s not and he knows he’ll be up for at least a few more hours. But the darkness and the blankets are calming so he lays there in the silence.

And it sucks, it does, but sleepless nights with his mind fixating on the same thing over and over again are nothing new to him. So he sighs, tries to find the light in his chest to get himself to calm down, but it’s not there for some reason, it’s hard to find. He tries for a while before he finally gives up, flopping over to retrieve his phone from his pants pocket on the floor thinking he’ll probably turn on some Netflix and hopefully fall asleep to that.

He clicks open his phone and his heart drops.

Eliott (22:53) Hey where are you? Did you leave? Are you okay?

Eliott (23:02) Okay just talked to Sofiane, hope you feel better! Did you get home okay?

Eliott (23:11) Lucas?

Eliott (23:30) Okay I texted Yann and he said you went straight to bed so I’m assuming you’re not responding because you’re asleep Text me in the morning okay? Goodnight x

Lucas’ fingers itch to respond and his heart is almost beating out of his chest that Eliott is texting him, that Eliott wants to know where he is, if he is okay. But then he thinks again of Eliott standing there surrounded by the love he deserved and Lucille and it’s too much. His heart aches and Lucas almost grabs at his chest, but he can’t bring himself to respond. Because Eliott – sweet, charming, beautiful Eliott – deserves so much more than Lucas.

Instead Lucas swipes away and opens up Netflix, finding a show he’s seen hundreds of times before and puts it on, playing episode after episode until his eyes can’t stay open any longer.

***

It should be no surprise then that that night, and for many nights after, Lucas’ dreams are filled with the phantom Eliott that had slipped into his mind and awakened his heart.

The dreams are always the same – lit soft and golden, them laying in bed together, Eliott touching him so softly and sweetly he could cry, leaving trails of red behind in their wake. 

They all end the same too – with Eliott leaning in, Lucas longing to feel his lips against his own – only for Lucas to awaken with a start, breath rapid, an ache deep within his chest.

It’s these dreams, Lucas tells himself that make him avoid Eliott. He hadn’t planned on it, at first, giving himself Saturday to deal with whatever he thought he was feeling and push it down, lock it away, just like with everything else and reemerge totally normally. He can do normal. He can do friends. He wants nothing more than to have Eliott around, but there would be no use in telling him how he feels, because what then?

Eliott is waiting for his soulmate and the chance that that’s Lucas, well they’re not very good.

So Lucas plans to tuck it away until the feelings disappear, as he assumes they will, just as quickly as they appeared. But when he wakes up every morning to thoughts of Eliott making him gasp, it’s hard to think of anything else.

For a few days Lucas manages to get away with it. He puts some distance between him and Eliott, texting him back, but only just. He feigns illness over the weekend, shutting Eliott down when he offers to bring him some soup, claiming he doesn’t want to get Eliott sick. He stays in his room for the most part, using the extra hours to study, and thinks he’s even managed to fool Yann, who had picked up a few extra shifts and spent more time out of the apartment than usual.

And then, on Monday and Tuesday, he tells Eliott that he can’t see him because of a major test he has on Wednesday (which, to be fair, Lucas isn’t making up. He’s just, maybe, making up exactly how much time he needs to study for it). And Eliott, like the sweet angel he is, takes everything Lucas says to him at face value, even offering to bring coffee to the library for him, which Lucas nicely turns down.

But Lucas knows that despite his best efforts, Eliott is probably picking up on Lucas’ avoidance more than he’d like. Where memes and silly posts that Eliott would send him normally led to a conversation spanning a few hours, now Lucas replies with a word or two, trying to end the conversation before it starts. It’s just – Lucas can’t get over Eliott if he’s talking to him all the time.

So in the end, it all sets him up to come crashing down spectacularly as it does on Wednesday.

Lucas is at the coffee shop, leaning against the counter chatting with Yann and waiting for his shift to end so they can walk home together when he hears someone clear their throat behind him. He turns, expecting a customer annoyed with him for distracting the barista instead of letting him make the coffees, but instead he’s met with six-feet of sheepish boy, shoulders hunched, hands shoved in his pockets, a tentative smile on his face, dark circles around his eyes.

“Hey,” Eliott says softly.

Lucas stares at him for a moment, forgetting how to breathe slightly, because for all that he’d convinced himself it’d be easy to get over Eliott, seeing him in the flesh for the first time since his realization is like getting hit in the face with a hammer. Lucas’ mouth goes dry and all he can see are Eliott’s beautiful gray eyes staring back at him, warmth flooding his entire body. He swallows, heart pounding in his chest, before he answers. “Hi.”

Eliott shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Lucas has noticed he does that when he’s nervous. So he’s nervous, which makes two of them. “Haven’t really heard from you in a while,” he says, his hand coming up and his fingers tracing over his lips. “Feeling better?”

Lucas shoots a glance over to where Yann is standing behind the counter, seemingly making a cappuccino, but Lucas knows he’s definitely also intently listening to every word they’re saying. “Um, yeah, just caught the flu or something,” Lucas says, “but I’m better now.”

“Good,” Eliott replies.

They look at each other, for a moment, the silence washing over them and this is the first time since they became friends, Lucas thinks, that it’s ever been awkward between them. It brings him back to when they used to not get along, except this time, Eliott is coming in with less fire, less self-confidence than Lucas is used to. He just seems so tired.

Eliott’s hand finds his pocket again and he shifts, looking like he wants to say something. “Um, are you...are you upset with me?” he blurts, eyes dropping to the ground.

Lucas’ chest constricts. “No,” he breathes out, because, god, he’d never want to make Eliott feel badly. This, all of this, is Lucas’ fault. “Why do you think that?”

“It feels like you’ve been avoiding me is all.”

“No, I haven’t, I promise,” Lucas lies, because he can’t explain himself, but he also can’t have Eliott thinking this is on him. “I’ve just been really busy.”

Eliott looks up again, catching Lucas’ eye, a small smile finding its way to his mouth. “You sure?”

“Yes.”

“So we can hang out soon?”

“Of course.”

“Okay, good,” Eliott says, pulling on the strap of his backpack. “I, uh, have to go to class now, but I’ll text you?”

“Okay,” Lucas replies and then Eliott is gone.

Lucas turns back to the counter and takes a few deep, steadying breaths, his hands gripping the smooth wood. He looks up and finds Yann looking back at him, a strange look on his face. But he says nothing.

Lucas walks home with Yann in relative quietness, cracking jokes here and there but otherwise just making their way to their apartment. They’re both tired, Lucas knows, and he can’t help but think about the leftovers waiting for him in the fridge and the Netflix he can watch since he doesn’t have any assignments left this week. And maybe that will take his mind off of everything for a few hours.

But apparently Yann has other ideas.

The door to their apartment has barely closed when Yann whips around to face Lucas. “So here’s what’s gonna happen,” he says sternly. “We’re both going to go to our rooms to change and then you’re going to come back out here and explain to me what the fuck is going on with you.”

Lucas just stares at him and Yann stares back, as if daring him to disagree. The look on Yann’s face is enough that Lucas knows there’s no protesting. 

“Fine.”

It takes a few minutes but soon enough they’re both sitting in the living room on the old couch. Lucas has changed into a pair of old sweats and a sweatshirt and he plays absentmindedly with a thread at the end of one of his sleeves. They’ve been sitting here for a few minutes, neither of them saying anything as Lucas tries to find the words. Because the thing is, Yann will push, but only just. He’d never actually make Lucas tell him something he didn’t want to. But Lucas wants to. He feels like he might explode if he doesn’t talk to someone about it.

Finally Lucas takes a deep breath and pulls on the thread, ripping it off the hoodie. “It’s Eliott,” he says.

He looks up to find Yann looking at him with one eyebrow raised, unimpressed. “Yeah, no shit.”

Lucas groans. “That obvious, huh?”

“I would have paid money to not have to be a witness to whatever the hell just happened in the coffee shop,” Yann says. “It was excruciatingly awkward.”

Lucas groans louder and shuts his eyes. He really brought this on himself.

“Did you guys get in a fight or something?” Yann asks, his face suddenly slightly contorted with concern.

And wouldn’t it be great if it was just that, if it was that simple, if it wasn’t this instead, the throbbing in his heart that won’t go away.

“No,” Lucas sighs. “Why would you think that?”

Yann shakes his head. “I don’t know, because it was super awkward and the two of you used to not like each other, remember?”

That time feels so far away now that Lucas almost doesn’t.

“No it’s not that,” Lucas says.

“Okay?”

“I, uh, I think I’m in love with Eliott. Or...I am. I’m in love with Eliott.”

Yann just blinks at him. It’s not the gawking or complete and utter disbelief Lucas was expecting.

“You don’t look surprised,” he says.

Yann sighs. “I’m not, not really. Though I’m not really seeing why it’s a problem.”

“What?” Lucas asks incredulously. “It’s Eliott! I’m in love with Eliott and I just realized it and now I’m avoiding him.”

“Why are you avoiding him?”

Lucas groans again because he doesn’t understand what Yann is getting at, doesn’t understand how Yann isn’t immediately grasping the seriousness of this situation. “What do you mean why am I avoiding him? Because I’m afraid that he’ll find out!”

Yann just looks at him.

Lucas goes on. “And if he finds out, it will ruin everything because he’s waiting for his soulmate and he won’t know how to act around me when he doesn’t love me back.”

Yann rolls his eyes so hard Lucas is scared for a minute they’ll get stuck that way. “Lucas, I know you do well in school, but I swear you are one of the dumbest people I know.”

“Hey! What are you talking about?”

“Eliott is 100% definitely into you.”

Lucas stares at him. “What! No he’s not!”

“He so is,” Yann replies, rubbing a hand across his face and looking so, so tired. “The two of you have practically been dating for the past month.”

Lucas’ heart drops to his stomach. “We have not!”

“All the things you’ve been doing, all the times you hung out? Those were dates,” Yann says, his face straight, voice even. “You do realize those were dates right?”

Lucas sputters for a moment. “They weren’t dates! Eliott had to go to them anyway for school and asked me to tag along. Perfectly friendly!”

“They were dates,” Yann says again, even more firmly if that’s possible. “I don’t know if either of you realize it – you both can be a bit, shall we say, oblivious – but you’ve been dating without all the benefits for a month. Homework be damned.”

Lucas closes his eyes. “No,” he starts, but Yann cuts him off again.

“Lucas,” he says and waits until Lucas opens his eyes and looks at him. “You need to talk to him. He’s been treating you like you’re dating. I wouldn’t be surprised if all the homework assignments he suddenly needed help with weren’t just an excuse to get you alone, go do things with you. What does he need your help for, with his art homework? You’re pre-med for god’s sake.”

Lucas blanches. “Well he wasn’t exactly asking me for help , I was just tagging along…”

Yann lets out an exasperated sigh. “You’re just proving my point,” he says. And then, “Stop being stupid and talk to him.”

Lucas just stares at him, mouth hanging open. “It’s not...we’re just…” he tries, but no words seem to come.

Yann shrugs, but reaches out and pats Lucas’ shoulder. “Maybe I’m wrong,” he says, “but I think, whatever the case may be, you need to talk to him. Clearly avoiding him isn’t working.”

And Lucas hates it, but he knows Yann is right, knows he can’t keep this up forever.

“You’re right,” he says. “I’ll talk to him.”

***

And Lucas tries, he really does, to talk to Eliott. Only, it seems, Eliott doesn’t want to talk to him. 

Lucas texts him the morning after his talk with Yann. Nothing too serious, just asking if they can meet up soon. He gets no response all day, which is definitely unusual for Eliott. He texts him again that night, just asking if Eliott is okay, which also receives no response.

By Saturday, Lucas is annoyed, and also a little worried. Sure, he was avoiding Eliott too, but that didn’t mean he stopped responding to him completely. And after everything, this just feels so unlike Eliott to leave him hanging like this, to just not get back to him, so maybe, in the end, he’s a little dramatic.

Sure, he could have probably texted Idriss, just to make sure Eliott was okay, but there’s something that tells him it would break his heart to have Idriss be the one to tell him that everything was fine, that Eliott just didn’t want to talk to him. So instead, he heads over to Idriss and Eliott’s apartment.

When he reaches the door to their building, it’s early afternoon and Lucas has spent all morning in the library. Lucas had specifically waited until he knew they’d be up and around, not wanting Idriss to be annoyed with him if he knocked on their door at 11 in the morning. He’s about to dial up when someone leaves the building, so he slips in the door, climbing the three flights of stairs to the apartment.

And suddenly, standing there in front of the big wooden door, Lucas feels a little ridiculous. He’s being dramatic, he knows, and he should just turn back, just wait until Eliott is ready to talk to him again, give Eliott space if that’s what he needs.

But he’s here, and there’s something telling Lucas that he can’t walk away now, he needs to know if this is Eliott deciding he’s done with Lucas for good, if just a taste of a few days away from him made Eliott realize he was better off.

Lucas takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.

He hears some shuffling inside the apartment and then the door is opening to reveal Idriss, who looks at Lucas with confusion written across his face. 

“Lucas...” he says, surprised, “What are you doing here?”

“Is Eliott here?” Lucas asks, his voice wavering slightly as he tries not to let Idriss see his panic.

“Uh,” Idriss replies, looking over his shoulder and then back at Lucas. “Listen, Lucas, he’s, uh, not really feeling too well right now and I…”

And suddenly all of his annoyance, all of his fear of what Eliott thinks of him and them and everything else drops away and is replaced by worry. Worry only for Eliott’s wellbeing, because maybe Eliott is hurting or sick or having a hard time and Lucas didn’t know.

“Is he okay?” Lucas asks quickly.

Idriss looks at him tentatively, as if he’s trying to find the right words. “Yeah,” Idriss says finally. “Or he will be. He’s just tired, so I don’t know if now is the best time...”

And there’s something in Idriss face that makes the remaining pieces click into place because Lucas remembers this, remembers from the research he did right after Eliott told him. 

“Is, um,” Lucas pauses, unsure of exactly how to phrase it, exactly how to not be insensitive but still wanting to make sure. “Is it his bipolar?”

Idriss’ face changes and he stares at Lucas, slightly bewildered. “He told you?” he asks quietly. 

Lucas nods, “Yeah.”

Idriss smiles then, but it’s a small smile, a private smile that seems less about happiness and more like he’s realizing something. “Wait here,” he says. “I’m going to go talk to Eliott.”

Lucas stands in the hallway, waiting, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, and all he can think is how much he hopes Eliott is okay, how much he wishes he’d known something was going on, how he’d managed to miss it. 

It takes a few minutes but then Idriss reappears from around the corner, and Eliott must have said something okay because Idriss is reaching out to pull the door open wider and ushering Lucas in. “He’s in his room,” Idriss says, pointing down the hall. Lucas smiles at him and goes.

He realizes suddenly that he’s not sure which one is Eliott’s room, that he’s never been in there before, but he pushes the thought down quickly when he sees that only one door in the hallway is shut, the other two leading to a bathroom and Idriss’ room.

Lucas walks up to the closed door and knocks lightly, waiting for a faint come in , before he’s turning the knob and pushing the door open.

Lucas is hit by the relative darkness. It’s afternoon and a sunny day, but the curtains are all pulled tight, light bleeding in softly through the slightly gauzy material. The room is small, but that’s unsurprising for Paris, a dresser in one corner, drawers open halfway, and a small desk under one of the windows.

In the other corner is Eliott’s bed, a large double piled high with blankets and a lump in the middle Lucas assumes is Eliott. There’s a nightstand on one side that holds a lamp, a book, a glass of water and an uneaten piece of toast.

Lucas’ heart pinches.

“Hi,” Lucas says quietly, tentatively.

The lump moves slightly and then Eliott’s head appears from under the covers, his eyes blinking rapidly. “Come in here and shut the door,” he says, his voice croaking with disuse.

Lucas steps into the room and closes the door gently behind him, dropping his backpack from his shoulders and walking over to Eliott’s bed, sitting gently on the mattress. He takes in Eliott’s face looking back at him, the dark circles around his eyes, the way he’s laying, small and curled up on the bed.

“How are you doing?” Lucas asks, hoping it’s the right thing to say.

Lucas thinks Eliott shrugs, but he can’t really tell under the blankets.

“Better than yesterday,” Eliott says.

Lucas swallows, unsure of how to proceed. “Is there anything I can do?”

Eliott shakes his head. “No.” And then, “it’s nice to see you though.”

“It’s good to see you too,” Lucas replies, because it is, it’s always good to see Eliott, even if his heart is aching at how tired and small and sad Eliott looks. “I hadn’t heard from you in a few days,” he explains. “I just wanted to see if you were...uh, how you were doing.”

Eliott sighs. “I’m just having a couple bad days.”

“Okay.”

“It’s not an episode ,” Eliott says quickly, as if he’s used to having to defend himself, but Lucas doesn’t say anything more than okay again, wishing that he could reach out and brush the hair away from Eliott’s forehead. “Sometimes I just have a bad couple days.”

“That’s okay,” Lucas replies and he means it. All he wants is for Eliott to feel better.

They sit in silence for a moment in the dim room, the whirring of Eliott’s fan drowning out the noises outside. And it’s peaceful and quiet and safe and Lucas can understand why Eliott is seeking shelter here, weathering the storm here. 

“You don’t have to stay,” Eliott whispers.

“I can go if you want me to.”

“It’s just...I'm not very good company right now,” Eliott replies, pulling up the covers to his chin. “I’m doing a lot of sleeping.”

Lucas smiles. “I don’t mind.”

Eliott stares at him then, his eyes tired but searching, a storm of gray that Lucas longs to see settled, an indent on his face from where it’s been pressed into the pillow. And all Lucas can think is how beautiful he is, how lucky he is someone like Eliott in his life. 

“I don’t want you to stay because you feel like you have to,” Eliott says then, his voice even quieter than it was before.

“I’m not,” Lucas replies quickly. “If you want me to go, I’ll go. But if you don’t mind, I’d like to sit here with you. And you can sleep because I have some studying to do anyway.”

Lucas thinks he maybe sees a ghost of a smile on Eliott’s lips. “Okay,” he whispers.

“Okay,” Lucas says and he goes to get his textbook from his bag before he turns around and finds Eliott’s moved over on the bed to make room for him. 

(And Lucas can’t help the way his stomach flutters, the way his heart swells, the way, despite all his efforts, the love in his chest expands so much he can hardly breathe with the weight of it.)

Lucas settles onto the bed, a pillow behind his back and Eliott lying next to him, and thinks Eliott has already fallen back asleep, his eyes closed, his face buried in the covers when he says something softly, muffled by the fabric.

“I thought you were avoiding me because of my painting,” Eliott says, “but you’re here.”

Lucas glances down at Eliott, heartbeat picking up as he tries to interpret what Eliott means by that, why Lucas would ever avoid him because of that, but at he stares down at Eliott’s form, sleep already overtaking him, he knows it’s not the time. Instead, he just reaches down and pulls the covers even tighter around Eliott. “I’m here,” he says.

***

Eliott wakes again a few hours later to find Lucas watching Netflix on his phone, slumped down farther in the pillows. 

“What time is it?” Eliott croaks and Lucas nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound.

“You’re awake!” he says and then stops whatever he’s watching to check the time. “Ah it’s almost 6.”

“Almost 6.”

“About dinner time,” Lucas muses. “Are you hungry?”

Eliott shifts slightly, bringing his body closer to Lucas’ but still far enough to keep them from touching. “Maybe a little.”

Lucas smiles. “I’ll go get you something, yeah?”

And he does.

Lucas gets Eliott something small and while he’s in the kitchen making it, Idriss passes by with a grateful look on his face and a whispered how is he doing? and Lucas can’t help but feel warm that Eliott has people like that that care for him. He brings the food back into Eliott’s room and waits for Eliott to shift a little so he can eat it, joining him in the bed and eating too. It is dinner time after all.

Then Lucas suggests putting on a movie. “You can go back to sleep if you want,” he says, “but it just might be nice to have on.” Eliott’s whispered okay is enough to have Lucas retrieving Eliott’s laptop from the desk and loading an old Disney movie just to make Eliott laugh.

“I’m sorry but none of your artsy crap,” Lucas teases, and Eliott lets out a small laugh from his pile of blankets. “We’re not using our brains today.”

And then they settle in, the opening sound of the movie playing, Eliott laying back down on the pillow next to him and they’re close but not quite touching, and for once, Lucas isn’t scared.

“I should probably go once this is over,” Lucas says, chancing a glance towards Eliott, whose eyes are fixed on the laptop. He says it quietly, as a precaution, in case Eliott falls asleep and Lucas isn’t here when he wakes up. “Is that okay?”

Eliott shifts his gaze to look at him. “Of course it’s okay.”

“Okay.”

But there’s something gripping his chest, and suddenly Lucas just wants to reach out and touch , reach out and ground himself to Eliott here , as they lay side by side and Eliott rides out the storm. But he can’t, not yet, not like this. It wouldn’t be fair.

Instead he settles for something he can do.

“Can I give you a hug?” he whispers and Eliott turns to him with wide eyes.

“What?”

“Can I give you a hug? You know, like how you did for me that one time?”

The more Eliott looks at him, the more Lucas is regretting saying anything at all but then Eliott’s face is splitting into a soft smile and he’s looking, really looking at Lucas in a way Lucas isn’t used to.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

So Lucas shifts, pulling the hoodie more tightly around himself, putting the hood on and pulling on the ties a little, pulling the sleeves down over his hands. And Eliott shifts too, moving to sit up a bit, to settle in closer to Lucas. Lucas reaches out, wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck and pulling him close, and Eliott’s arms find Lucas’ waist, wrapping securely around it. Eliott’s face tucks into Lucas’ neck, into the fabric that separates them and Lucas holds on.

He never wants to let go.

They hold each other as a moment passes and then another. And then Eliott whispers something into the space between Lucas’ neck and his shoulder and Lucas almost misses it, but not quite.

“Thank you for being here.”

There’s something raw in his voice, a hidden fear that Lucas hasn’t seen before, hasn’t been witness to, but is there all the same. And Lucas knows that despite everything he’s been telling himself, despite his best efforts, he might not ever stop loving Eliott. But, really, it might not be the worst thing.

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” he breathes back.

***

Lucas sees Manon the next day, another afternoon of drinking tea in her apartment that Lucas has come to love. They talk briefly about school and classes but Lucas is fidgety and Manon can always tell when something is going on with him.

“Okay, spill,” Manon says, nudging Lucas’ leg with her foot. “What’s going on with you?”

For a brief moment Lucas contemplates lying to her, telling her it’s nothing, but he knows, in the end, he won’t.

“Eliott,” he says softly, his stomach flipping at the mention of him.

Manon raises her eyebrow at him. “Eliott?”

“Yeah,” Lucas replies. “I’m in love with him.”

“Oh, Lucas.”

“But I can’t have him.”

“Why not?”

Lucas sighs, exasperated and long and drawn out. “Because he wants his soulmate, Manon, and I can’t be the person he’s with while he’s waiting.”

“How do you know you’re not his soulmate?” Manon asks, her voice low, her eyes searching Lucas’ face.

“The chances of that are astoundingly low.”

“But there’s a chance.”

Lucas wishes his heart didn’t pick up at the mere mention of that. Because he can’t let himself hope, can he? It might crush him if it turns out to be wrong. “Maybe, but, what if I’m not?”

“Would you still love him?”

“Yes,” Lucas replies. “Always.”

Manon smiles at him, a small smile she tends to reserve for times she thinks Lucas is being stubborn. “Then maybe you should give Eliott a chance to make that decision for himself.”

Lucas sighs. “So you think I should tell him?”

“I think it’ll hurt more if you don’t.”

***

It’s been a week since Eliott’s down days and Lucas has been texting him, checking in to make sure he’s alright. They’ve seen each other once during the week, when Lucas brought him some class notes and takeout and they’d sat on Eliott’s couch and watched a movie and it all felt like it had before.

But Lucas knows it can’t stay that way forever. Ever since his conversation with Manon, he knows he needs to talk to Eliott, needs to say something to him or he’s afraid he’ll never be able to move past it. And the last thing he needs is to get his heart broken in a year or two when Eliott finally finds his soulmate. If he’s getting his heart broken, it’s happening now.

He’s made plans with Eliott that weekend – grabbing coffee and homework and Lucas is planning to tell him then, he really is, but it seems like the universe isn’t quite done fucking with him just yet.

Instead, on Friday, when Lucas is dragged to yet another party with his friends, he sees Eliott there, noticing him after he’s already had a drink or two, sending butterflies soaring in his stomach.

Eliott had told Lucas he was planning on going out with Idriss, ready to blow off some steam after his hard time nearly a week ago, but Lucas hadn’t thought they’d end up at the same party. Though now that he thinks about it, it shouldn’t be that surprising, seeing as they do run in the same social circles.

When Lucas sees him, Lucas is where he normally is at parties – hidden in a corner, beer in hand, hoodie pulled up around his face, sleeves pulled down so that no skin is visible. It’s a habit – one born out of self preservation and it’s yet to die.

Eliott...is not where he usually is at parties. Usually Eliott stations himself near the door, greeting as many people as he can as they walk in and or as they leave. It’s a good plan, for someone who wants to touch as many people as they can. But tonight Eliott has tucked himself in by the couch, surrounded by people Lucas vaguely recognizes as his friends from class, Idriss also standing there next to him.

It’s a sharp contrast to see Eliott like that – more quiet and subdued. Usually Eliott at parties is loud and bright and burning, the star at the center of a solar system. Lucas would know: he spent months hating him for it. But now, today, Eliott is more subdued. A star still, yes, burning just as brightly to Lucas, shining just as strong. But now it’s less like Eliott’s a puppet master and more like he’s letting the world move around him. And he’s not touching people. If anything, he’s avoiding them. Lucas doesn’t know what to make of it.

Maybe it’s the beer talking, though really it was inevitable, but suddenly Lucas gets a surge of courage, and tells himself that the next time Eliott extracts himself from the crowd to go to the kitchen or the bathroom, Lucas will go over there, and make sure Eliott sees him, really sees him. Hell, maybe he’ll just walk over and kiss him, throw words out the window.

His heart is beating fast and loud. 

Lucas watches as Eliott unfolds himself from the couch, his long legs stretching out as he takes one step and then another, moving around the crowd of people to the back of the couch, not yet seeing Lucas. Lucas feels his muscles itch, like they’re ready to take a step, move him towards Eliott.

And then someone familiar is walking up to Eliott, pressing a kiss to Eliott’s cheek and making Eliott throw back his head as he laughs. Lucille.

Lucas feels the panic well up again and suddenly all the confidence he’s been building the past few days vanishes. He’s being so stupid thinking someone like Eliott could ever love him, could ever even want him. Telling Eliott how he feels will just ruin what they do have, and that’s the last thing Lucas wants.

Lucas turns to leave, fight his way out of the party because he can’t be here anymore, can’t be forced to watch the boy he loves surrounded by people who are better for him, people he actually should be with.

But then he’s coming face to face with a body, connected to a face Lucas has seen before smirking down at him. Lucas recognizes him from one of his classes, thinks his name might be Todd, or Tom, or something like that, but they’ve never spoken before. Why would they?

“Excuse me,” Lucas says and he tries to maneuver around the guy, heading towards the exit, but then the guy throws out an arm, blocking Lucas’ path and Lucas flinches at how close his bare skin comes to him.

“Hey,” the boy slurs, leaning closer to Lucas and Lucas panics taking a step back. “I think we have a class together.”

“Maybe,” Lucas replies, looking around for an easy way to get out of this situation, but finding none as Todd or Tom takes a step closer. “Sorry I have to go–”

“You’re that kid who doesn’t let anyone touch him,” the boy says, triumphant. “You’re kind of hot.”

Lucas doesn’t reply, but something akin to fear wells up in him.

“What do you say you let me touch you, and then you can touch me?” the boy continues, his intentions obvious as he leans closer to Lucas’ face. 

“Please stop,” Lucas says, his voice weak, as he hugs his sweatshirt closer. “Please get away from me.”

“Oh come on baby,” the boy says again, reaching out a hand. “It’s just one touch.”

And Lucas freezes. He doesn’t know what to do, where to run. Instead, Lucas closes his eyes, flinching as the boy reaches out to touch his cheek.

And suddenly the shadow above him is gone.

“He said to leave him alone,” a voice says roughly, coming from beside Lucas. “I suggest you listen to him.” And Lucas knows that voice, he’ll always know that voice.

Lucas opens his eyes to find Eliott standing there, roughly holding the boy’s wrist from where he’s wrenched it away from Lucas’ face. The boy is grimacing in discomfort as Eliott holds his wrist at an uncomfortable angle.

“You’re gonna leave him alone,” Eliott says slowly, firmly. “And you’re going to apologize. Do you understand?”

The boy nods rapidly. “Jesus, yes, okay?” Seemingly satisfied, Eliott releases his wrist, and the boys snatches it back, rubbing it slightly as he turns towards Lucas. “Sorry,” he says and then he turns, quickly disappearing into the crowd.

Eliott quickly turns towards him. “Are you okay?”

Lucas nods his head a little frantically. “Yes,” he says. And then– “Thank you.”

And it’s funny, because the last time Eliott did anything like this, the last time Eliott tried to protect him, it had pissed Lucas off so much he’d yelled at him on the streets of Paris, had burned the blood in his veins, had made him so inordinately angry he’d lashed out.

But this time, this time it’s different. Because standing here, seeing Eliott regard him with a gentle kind of worry, a gentle kind of affection that veers slightly too close to what Lucas wishes he was feeling, it hurts . It sets an ache off in his chest and before he can stop them he feels tears pricking at his eyes.

And god, the last thing he needs right now is for Eliott to see him cry, so he looks up, meeting Eliott’s gaze once who gives him a small, reassuring smile and then he’s pushing past him, muttering a I have to go and running out onto the street.

He shouldn’t really be surprised when Eliott follows him.

Eliott shouts after him, but Lucas keeps his head down, willing his legs to carry him faster, his heart hurting so much that Lucas thinks maybe it’s started to break. But Eliott’s legs are longer than his and he’s determined, so Lucas doesn’t make it very far before Eliott catches up to him.

“Hey, hey,” Eliott says, reaching out and briefly touching Lucas’ clothed shoulder to make him stop. “Are you okay? What did that guy say?”

Lucas stops, and then spins around to face Eliott. “I’m not upset about the guy, Eliott. He was an asshole, but it’s fine. I’m fine.”

He turns to start walking again but Eliott jogs to catch up to him.

“Then what’s wrong?” Eliott asks. “Clearly something’s wrong.”

And Lucas has had enough of this. He can’t do this right now. “Isn’t Lucille waiting for you?” he spits out.

Eliott stops walking. “Lucille?” Eliott asks, something that seems like bewilderment lacing his tone. “Why are you talking about Lucille?

“Aren’t you with her?”

Eliott looks at him incredulously. “No?” He pauses. “I mean, we dated super briefly in high school, but no?” He just stands there, deflated. “Why are you asking?”

Lucas shrugs, turning to face Eliott. “No reason.”

“We broke up when I started getting serious about the whole soulmate thing,” Eliott says, running a hand through his hair. “But I don’t know, I’ve been thinking about that and I’m not sure it makes sense anymore.”

Lucas feels like he might throw up. “ Not being with Lucille, you mean?”

Eliott looks so genuinely confused that something in Lucas’ chest kickstarts. “What? No god, we weren’t right for each other in the end,” Eliott says, his voice shaking, a sincere tenor running through it. “I mean it was good once, but...no, I, uh, I’m never getting back together with Lucille.”

It’s Lucas’ turn to look confused. “What did you mean then?”

“About soulmates,” Eliott says, his voice quiet. He pauses for a moment, eyes searching Lucas’ before he speaks again. “I’m just worried that I might be missing out on something great by focusing so much on it.”

“Okay,” Lucas says, unsure how this has to do with him.

Eliott takes a step closer. “The thing is, I was convinced that a soulmark would be the way for me to know that I deserved love, that the universe wanted me to love,” he says, taking a deep breath. “But, I’ve realized recently that there’s a lot of love in my life that the universe didn’t mark. And it’s still special. To me.”

Lucas doesn’t know what to say. Of course Eliott deserves love, of course people would love him. Lucas is living proof. His heart thuds louder and he just stands there, silent, waiting for Eliott to continue.

Eliott takes another tentative step towards him. “If I’m meant to be with my soulmate, then I will be. But maybe my soulmate is platonic, or maybe I don’t have one at all. And maybe it doesn’t matter. But I’m done waiting.” He looks at Lucas, and there’s something there behind the flashing in his eyes. “What about you?”

Lucas swallows. “What about me?”

“What are you waiting for?”

“You know I’ve never been a fan of waiting on the universe.”

Eliott lets out a small laugh, but it seems to get stuck in his throat and he hasn’t looked away from Lucas, looking at him with an intensity Lucas has never seen before. “And if you didn’t have to wait?” he asks, softly, but Lucas hears every word, his whole body tensing. “If you found someone who would choose you regardless? Would that be enough for you?”

And Lucas can’t do this, his mind is going blank, his brain is shutting down because they cannot be having this conversation, this cannot be what Lucas has been imagining. He has to be understanding something wrong but Eliott is looking at him, really looking at him and Lucas feels like he’s ripped open his chest and laid it bare for Eliott to see.

But then he’s reminded of the worry that’s been plaguing him since his realization. He knows Eliott, knows how this all has been so important to him for so long. But here he is saying it’s maybe not as important as he thought and so Lucas should take that leap, but he needs to know, needs to lay it all out and hear it from Eliott. 

“Would it be enough for you ?” he asks.

“Yes,” Eliott says weakly and without hesitation. “I’m beginning to think so.”

Lucas doesn’t know what to say. Instead he huffs and turns, heading back down the street. He picks up his pace, as Eliott trails just behind him.

“You never answered,” Eliott calls out to him and Lucas feels his heart constrict because this is it, this is an opening Eliott is giving him and Lucas should just take it. 

He turns to look back at Eliott’s face, his mouth frozen in a tentative smile, the corners turned up in the way that makes Lucas’ heart race. 

He opens his mouth and he’s about to answer, he really is: yes, Eliott, that would be enough , when it all happens in very quick succession.

Lucas isn’t paying attention to where he’s going and trips on a loose brick in the sidewalk, pitching forward towards the concrete. He feels Eliott’s strong hand grip his wrist to keep him from falling, to steady him, but the foreign feeling of Eliott’s fingers against Lucas’ skin sets his heart aflame.

Lucas has been doing everything he can to avoid touching Eliott, avoid brushing skin against skin, avoid knowing what they’d be – because he is terrified of the answer. He’s in love with Eliott, he knows, and he’s spent far too many nights in the past week imagining Eliott marking him in shades of red. The idea that he might leave a blue mark on his skin or worse, no mark at all, makes Lucas feel sick. 

And yet, despite all that effort, here he is – finding out if Eliott is his soulmate because he’s clumsy. It’s a bit anticlimactic.

It happens quickly – Lucas falling, Eliott catching him.

And then Lucas hears Eliott inhale sharply. Eliott has pulled Lucas to his feet, but hasn’t let go of his wrist, of the space where their skin is touching for the first time. Lucas can’t turn around, he can’t look. He wants to live in that space of blissful ignorance for just one more second. Just one more second.

“Lucas…” Eliott says, but it’s more of a whisper, so soft and feather-light that Lucas can’t be sure he’s heard it at all. 

“Lucas.” There it is again, firmer. Eliott calling his name. Eliott daring him to look.

And then the anticipation meets with Lucas’ denial and it’s too much really, the not-knowing. So he turns around.

And there, at the space where Eliott’s fingers are grasped around Lucas’ wrist, Lucas sees something spreading across his skin. It doesn’t move far outside of Eliott’s grip, but it’s enough that Lucas can see it there, see the light it’s giving off in the dark night as Lucas and Eliott stand frozen on the sidewalk.

And there’s relief, in Lucas’ heart, because Eliott has left something on his wrist, has made his mark after all. But there’s confusion too. Lucas and Eliott are silent, both of them unable to tear their eyes away from the place that Eliott’s fingers have touched.

“Is that...?” Lucas asks, trailing off, his voice sounding weak and unsure.

“It must be,” Eliott responds. “But I’ve never seen that before.”

Because the shape marking Lucas’ skin is neither red, like the mark of a romantic soulmate, nor blue, like the mark of a platonic one.

It’s gold. Bright, shining, radiant gold.

[noethicalconsumptionunderdisney]

Ranked: Hannah Montana — Premieres

Welcome to Hannah Montana March Madness!  This month, I’ll be doing Rankings, Analyses, and reblogging various posts that I like for Hannah Montana.  Tbh, this was my favorite Disney Channel show growing up, but I haven’t really talked about it yet.  And what better place to start than with literal beginnings?  A.K.A, Premieres.  So here we go.

Before we begin, I want to explain my criteria a little bit for what I think makes a great Premiere. A Premiere episode can be merely decent or good based on the basics of quality alone: good acting, good directing, tight editing, tight script, humor and/or drama that hits where it’s supposed to. That is one of my criteria, but I like my Premieres to be just a little more ambitious than that.  The best Premieres:

Establish the tone, setting, and premise for the season

Introduce an important change, shift, or moment in the series that sets the season apart and/or make it clear to the audience why we’re starting where we are

Establish and/or re-establish the characters and characterization— the characters should still feel like themselves, and shouldn’t act too differently from how they act in other episodes, but they should still feel like they’re developing throughout the show, particularly if that development is directly related to the Important Change mentioned above

Stand out from the season in a way that doesn’t feel jarring or out of place— it should feel like a part of its own season, while also setting itself apart in a positive and memorable way

One last thing: I’m going to be listing these in reverse-order of how much I liked them: Worst->Best.  That way, I can save the best for last.  I should probably mention too that I don’t really hate any of these episodes (we’ll get into some of those later), but I will be mentioning what does and doesn’t work for me and why I ranked them how I did.

Let’s get to it!

#4: “Lilly, Do You Want to Know a Secret?”  (Season One)

This is a tough one for me. On one hand, I have so much love for this episode and so much nostalgia for it.  On the other hand, now that I’ve grown up, I have to admit that it’s lacking in terms of quality and cohesion with the season.  While it does mark an Important Change in the characters’ status quo (Lilly finding out Miley’s secret), it also feels a little too different from the episodes that come after it.  

At this point, everyone was still finding their footing, and it shows.  The actors were still learning how to act and how to get along with each other, the writers were still figuring out who these characters were, costume and setting were still being worked out, and it has one of the biggest (and funniest) editing mistakes I’ve ever seen put to air. I may elaborate on this in a deep-dive post on the subject at a later time, but suffice to say, they just weren’t there yet.  They didn’t quite hit their stride with Season 1 until their third episode (which is actually a personal favorite, but again, I’ll save that for later), and while they do keep the same basic elements of the characters and a few key details from this episode, everyone feels a little bit off here in a way that’s just too noticeable for me to ignore.

That said, judging it as a Premiere might be a bit unfair of me, because this is a Pilot episode. And a Pilot episode really only has one job, as far as showrunners are concerned: to get the show up and running and on the air.  So in that sense, I’ll always love this episode for doing what it was meant to do: setting up the show and making sure it got off the ground.  And hey, if the worst thing I can say about a Pilot episode is that the show that came after it was so much better, that’s a testament to how important it was to have a Pilot good enough to get picked up in the first place.

#3: “He Ain’t a Hottie, He’s My Brother” (Season Three)

This one beats the Pilot in terms of quality, consistency, and characterization.  The show’s been established for some time now, so the acting, camerawork, and directing work a lot better as they’ve gotten more comfortable, and it’s consistent in the sense that it does feel like it fits into its season (apart from The Big Thing that we’ll get into in just a minute).  It also does feel fairly in-character for the most part— I genuinely get the sense that if they were making Lackson canon, this is probably how it would go down.

And with that, let’s get into the shipping, because it’s the elephant in the room.  I personally don’t have strong feelings either way about Lackson as a ship, I think Lilly and Jackson would work fine together, I do personally prefer them as a friendship and pseudo-brother/sister dynamic, but I don’t have a huge aversion to them from an in-universe standpoint.  I do think there are logistical and ethical issues from a real-life standpoint given the ages of the actors at the time, but good news everyone!  None of it ends up mattering anyway!  It was all a dream.  Problem solved, right?

Yeah, no.  Here’s the thing: All Just A Dream is already an eyeroll-worthy trope in a random filler episode.  And while it’s not quite as infuriating in a Premiere as it is in a Finale, it is frustrating.  This episode Goes There in establishing a Big Change that could change the direction of the show… and then pulls an “oops, never mind!” at the last minute.  Which is really not a strong way to start your season.

The even more baffling part of choosing to start the season this way is, the episode after it is “Ready, Set, Don’t Drive,” which is both a solid episode and establishes a change in the status quo that actually sticks: Miley’s 16 now, which means she can drive herself around now.  This is good for the themes of Season 3 as Miley is gaining more independence and becoming an adult, so why not just start there?  (Then again, the episode after that is “Don’t Go Breaking My Tooth,” and she says, “I’ll be driving soon” and has Jackson take her, so was that episode meant to go before it?  I find that episode to be much weaker, so I do think “He Ain’t A Hottie” was the better choice between those two, but in terms of meeting my Premiere criteria, both of those options leave a lot to be desired.)

The other strong choice for a Premiere would be “You Never Give Me My Money,” as it deals with those same themes of Miley growing up, and she gains independence through access to (some of) her Hannah money, and that’s yet another change to the status quo that actually sticks.  So, between that and the driving episode, it’s just odd to me that they chose to start their season with an episode dedicated to a ship that doesn’t actually happen, particularly a season where a different ship later does.  (There is perhaps a little foreshadowing there in that Miley sees Lilly having feelings for someone close to her that she never expected her to fall for, and has to learn how to be okay with that, but honestly, I’m not even sure if they were 100% planning to “go there” with Loliver at this point, or if this was just something they were considering now that the characters were getting older.)  

If this were just a filler, Fanservice episode, I could probably live with that. I just wish that they hadn’t started with it, because starting your opening episode with “Just kidding, it was all a dream!” establishes a tone where nothing is real and the stakes don’t matter. (Which unfortunately, also popped up a lot in Season 3, but I wouldn’t consider that a change for the better.)

#2: “Sweet Home Hannah Montana” (Season Four)

This high up?  I know.  I was surprised, too.  But believe it or not, this episode actually works really well as a Premiere: it establishes a new setting and an Important Change (the Stewarts move into a new house, a large ranch where Miley can be with her horse and feel like she’s back in Tennessee while still being in California and getting to live with Lilly), it sets itself apart from the seasons before it, everyone’s in-character, and it stands out and feels like a First Episode of a Finale Season while still blending into the season as a whole.

There is one thing from this that doesn’t stick from one episode to the next, but I do believe it’s established in a way that we always knew that part wasn’t going to stick.  We knew Miley and Lilly were not going to spend an entire season trapped in a kiddie bedroom, and a large part of the plot revolves around them making sure they don’t.  The audience is under no false pretenses here about what is and isn’t a permanent change.  They’ve left their old house behind for good, and the new house setting is here to stay— they’re just working out some of the details.

Comedy-wise and quality-wise, I can definitely see this not being the strongest episode just as an episode. I do think the beginning of Season 4 suffered from the decline that had begun to affect the show, and it was doing its best to pull together a decent season and an ending that worked for the show and characters while dealing with a lot behind the scenes and a lot of fatigue from actors and writers alike.  While I don’t think Season 4 begins nearly as strongly as it ends, I do think this is a fairly solid and logical beginning, and does the “soft reboot” for the show that I believe they were going for.

#1: “Me and Rico Down by the Schoolyard” (Season Two)

Honestly, this was never even a question for me.  Strong as a Premiere, strong as an episode, high quality, stakes, humor, this episode starts the season on a high note, both feeling like it naturally and seamlessly blends into the episodes after it, and feeling distinctive on its own.  

Two big changes to the series are established: Miley starts high school, and Rico becomes a series regular. Not only do these mark a change for the new season, they mark a change for the series as a whole, as both of these changes are maintained from here until the end of the show (although, admittedly, it’d be hard to avoid her going to high school, so that was pretty much inevitable).

Not only do the characters feel like themselves, this is also the first time in the series Rico messes with someone other than Jackson, and establishes himself as an antagonist proper for the show.  This isn’t the first time Miley and Rico have interacted, but it is the first time she knows exactly who she’s dealing with, and she deals with him the only way she knows how: confrontation, scheming, a little help from her friends, and in the end, a moment of raw honesty.  Speaking of her friends, they’re on-point too— Oliver’s fake muscles, the callback to his “locker doctor” skills, Lilly being supportive and sassy to Miley and Oliver in equal measure, and all the interactions with the monkey are sheer perfection.

There is a “fakeout” moment in terms of the secret, but that was properly set up as well— we knew Miley bringing her teddy bear to school was still a secret, and one that would still affect her status at the school, just… not as much, and not in the same way.  While it would have been interesting to see how Rico would’ve reacted to finding out the real secret (at this point in the show), we also hadn’t established enough of how he felt towards both Miley and Hannah for it to make much of an impact yet, and at this point he hadn’t developed enough as a character for him to believably let something that big go.  Sure, maybe he would’ve in that moment, but he probably would’ve still tried to use the knowledge in the future, so ultimately, I think it’s for the best that he didn’t know the truth about Hannah after all.

I haven’t gotten into subplots so much on this list, but it works well on that level, too.  Jackson has an understandable and relatable conflict regarding the new kid, and he too has to choose between his status and his conscience.  He too struggles but ultimately makes the right choice… and a new friend.  Robby Ray dishes out good advice after a “dorky dad” moment, as per usual.  Everyone is so them and so perfectly them in this episode that I might actually count this as one of the best episodes in the series, let alone their best Premiere by a long shot.  

In any case, I can’t think of a better way to start a season, or a better note to end on for my first, but certainly not last, Ranked post for Hannah Montana, and for this blog as a whole.  Stay tuned this month, more is just around the corner.  I can’t wait to show you all!